NorthWest Muslim Magazine

Your Issues. Your Voice.

Winter 2020

In This Issue:

Photo by FANJ on Unsplash

•

Emotional Intelligence

•

Narratives

•

Marital Discord

•

Humor - Calgary Winters

•

How to Combat Fake News

Editorial

W

ords might be insignificant, but their implications are stronger than a sword. The wound of a blow might heal, but the hurt of spiteful words is not mended easily. The damage it causes can stay longer and sometimes forever. Words and actions can change someone’s life. It can create a divide, spread hatred, or destroy a family or a community. On the other hand, kind words and considerate gestures can make someone’s day. People need peace, love and kindness to get along, move forward and be happy. Kind words and empathetic gestures can not only spread goodness to the individuals impacted, but can also influence the whole society.

As an individual living in a society, we all have a responsibility to spread kindness and empathy. We can expand our love by looking beyond ourselves, our minds, our successes and our comforts. We can also multiply our joy by sharing a smile, by advising someone, by giving wise guidance and unconditional love. A genuine smile and small talk can also work. Maybe our chat can redirect someone from having a bleak day to a cheerful day.

Our kind words can pull someone out of their misery. Our intelligent suggestion might help someone to take a positive step in Photo by Karly Gomez on Unsplash

their lives. And who knows, one of our suggestions might be beneficial to a larger community as well. Regardless, any good deed done with sincerity comes back many folds in blessings.

In this issue, we have splendid pieces from our writers. Shabnam’s piece will take you through the emotional intelligence in Islam while Ayesha’s article will help you find the difference between fake and real news. Ayesha Nasir and Shabnam Lakhani are our new writers. We whole heartedly welcome them to our magazine.

In the rest of the issue, you will find a lot of interesting items.

Our humor piece tackles the Calgary winters and a reflection piece will not let you off the couch. Our writers in this issue, also handled the difficult subject of marital discord, and narratives.

I hope you enjoy this issue as much as you did the past ones.

Please keep in touch. Email us or leave a comment on our Facebook page. We’re looking forward to hearing from you soon.

In’Shaa’Allah.

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Online: issuu.com/northwestmuslim Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/NorthWest-Muslim-Magazine

Š NWMM NorthWest Muslim Magazine

Our Team Editor-in-Chief Shaista Khurshid

Editors Afshan Habib Rabia Khan Beenish Khurshid Shazia Amir

Writers Ayesha Nasir Shabnam Lakhani Ahsan Ayub

Layout & Design Shaista Khurshid Photo by Leone Venter on Unsplash

Contents Editorial _____________________________ 2 Our Team ___________________________ 5 Emotional Intelligence ________________ 8 Winters In Calgary ___________________ 16 Narratives __________________________ 18 Quran & Hadith _____________________ 26 Five Ways to Combat Fake News ______ 28 Black Hole __________________________ 34

Book Review ________________________ 36 Marital Discord _____________________ 38 Qalaqand __________________________ 46 Back Cover _________________________ 48

By: Shabnam Lakhani Calgary, Alberta

Photo by Cristiane Teston on Unsplash

W

hen we think about religion, we tend to believe it to be a binary situation: something is either right or wrong, and personal aspects and interactions seem far removed. However, to make the best decisions, accom-

modate everyone’s right, and to fulfill our responsibilities, we all need to develop and implement emotional intelligence.

We have a fair idea of what emotional intelligence is - being aware of our own emotions and of those around us. But do we really understand how to react to those emotions and make a positive impact on the world around us? Do we use the guidance of the Prophet (SAW) and the Islamic (Continued on page 10)

(Continued from page 9)

7 in Surah Taha, Allah says that: “And

teachings to monitor our response in

if you speak aloud - then indeed, He

certain situations and to reduce con-

knows the secret and what is [even]

flicts. There are four areas we can fo-

more hidden.�

cus on to improve our emotional intel-

We may be aware of some issues we

ligence: self-awareness, self-control,

may have, but Allah knows every-

empathy, and social awareness.

thing. He knows us better than we

Self-awareness is being able to as-

know ourselves. From that we can

sess how and why one reacts to a cer-

conclude that when we increase our

tain situation. You may have come

remembrance of Allah, He will in-

across people who have a habit of be-

crease our awareness of self. (2016,

littling people, or someone who is

Nouman Ali Khan) By taking time, by

quick to temper, or even someone

reflecting through remembrance, Al-

who is so debilitated by fear that they

lah will open our hearts and minds to

cannot try anything new. What influ-

our shortcomings and how to deal

ences the way we react to things?

with them. This could be classified as

Much of it comes from our personal

meditation, which will give you great-

experiences, especially our earlier

er clarity of your circumstances.

lives. We may have experienced trau-

In conjunction with that, it is help-

ma of some kind, which will impact

ful to write down how you reacted to

our behaviour and response to certain

an event or a particular circum-

situations.

stance. What was your trigger? If you

Fortunately this is something that can be worked on and improved. Ayat

(Continued on page 11)

(Continued from page 10)

our behaviour to get the best possible

are able to identify it, you will be able

outcome. This of course takes some

to manage in a future situation, by be-

training in mindfulness. If we ever

ing able to react appropriately while

feel anxiety, anger or sadness creep-

maintaining control over your emo-

ing in where our ability to function is

tions. Was your reaction extreme?

normally hindered, we should take

What changes would you make next

time to acknowledge what is happen-

time? By being reflective this way, we

ing to us. This can be done either by

can make small changes that can im-

removing yourself from the situation,

prove our self-awareness.

or practicing breathing techniques.

The next step is to have emotional

Once you have thought it through,

self-control. Narrated Abu Huraira: Al-

you will be more logical with your re-

lah's Messenger (‫ )ﷺ‬said: “The strong

sponse to the situation, and gain per-

is not the one who overcomes the peo-

sonal strength over it.

ple by his strength, but the strong is

Empathy is the ability to feel and

the one who controls himself while in

share what others are feeling, espe-

anger” (Sahih Bukhari - sunnah.com/

cially when the other person is dis-

bukhari/78/141).

playing negative emotions. So how

This is a great example of acknowl-

can we empathize better with others?

edging that our emotions are ever

One way to do it is through our own

present, but we have the ability to

experiences. This will allow us to have

suppress any negative feelings we may

a better understanding. In his lecture,

have. We are human and not perfect,

(Continued on page 12)

we just need tools to help us modify Photo by Marra Sherrier on Unsplash

(Continued from page 11)

kindness, compassion and sympathy

Emotional Intelligence in Islam, Sheikh

are just like one body. When one of

Navaid Aziz, relates how the Prophet’s

the limbs suffers, the whole body re-

(‫ ) ﷺ‬life consisted of many trials and

sponds to it with wakefulness and fe-

tribulations, starting from a very

ver". (Al-Bukhari and Muslim - https://

young age. By the time he was eight

sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/1/224)

the Prophet ‫ﷺ‬

had lost his father,

mother and grandfather. And throughout his life he had experienced much loss and pain (IISC, 2019). This helped the prophetic empathy and gave him a better understanding of his Ummah. It is the model which we all need to aspire to. As mentioned in Surah Taubah: “There has certainly come to you a Messenger

from

among

your-

selves. Grievous to him is what you suffer; (he is) concerned over you and to the believers is kind and merciful” (Surah At Taubah - 9/128).

The Prophet has encouraged us to develop empathy. Numan bin Bashir reported: Messenger of Allah (‫)ﷺ‬ said: "The believers in their mutual

Once we understand why someone is feeling a certain way we will be able to assist and accommodate. This can be applied personally, socially and in a work situation. By developing this deep understanding without judgement will help develop trust, and will allow others to express their concerns. This will ultimately help you to develop better relationships in all walks of life.

One step beyond showing one’s empathy is developing social awareness. Being able to work with others collectively requires one to be less self -centered,

and

to

develop

real

(Continued on page 13)

‘listening skills’. This will facilitate a mu-

we are so focused on other people’s

tually beneficial outcome. We can de-

problems that it affects our sleep and

velop it by being aware of the rights of

our daily activities, we will not be effec-

others upon us - be it a neighbour we

tive in accomplishing what we set out

help out, a friend we visit, or a family

to do. It is a good idea to deal with is-

member we take care of. This type of

sues and emotions we have recognized

investment is crucial to build trust with

in an analytical, detached way where

others and avoid any preventable diffi-

your emotions can be kept under con-

culties that may occur in the future. If

trol. This way, while being empathetic,

we all share this responsibility in build-

you can most effectively capitalize on

ing our social awareness and catering

the gifts God has given you to help

to the needs of others, our societal

make a change.

bond will become stronger.

In essence, emotional intelligence is

Of course all aspects of increasing

about being aware. Once we develop

one’s emotional intelligence of oneself

an awareness of our own self, we can

and those around us needs to be done

understand and empathize with oth-

in a balanced way. Over indulging in

ers. It can be done through small steps

your own emotions and being over-

of increasing our remembrance of Al-

invested in other people’s issues can

lah, through reflecting on our behav-

get overwhelming. This will in turn lead

iour, and strengthening bonds with

to emotional fatigue. For example,

others through active listening and un-

while being self-reflective, we can aug-

derstanding. This is easier said than

ment our difficulties to such an extent

done. It is not possible to just tick a

that it becomes insurmountable. Or, if

box and say, “Now I am emotionally

Photo by Amith Nair on Unsplash

(Continued from page 13)

aware.” It needs to be cultivated slowly into our lives, through conscious effort.

Through the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah, we can understand how to take these steps and the benefits we will reap, in the work environment, socially and spiritually will be immense In’Sha’Allah.

References: Alghamdi A. A. (2006) The role of Islamic educational values in developing emotional intelligence skills. Abdullah A. Alghamdi B.A. King Abdul-Aziz University, Jeddah, Saudi Arabia, 1989 retrieved from: https://scholarworks.umt.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi? article=6015&context=etd

Scott, S. J (2019, October 17) How to Be More Self Aware: 8 Tips to Boost Self-Awareness, Retrieved from: https://www.developgoodhabits.com/what-is-self-awareness/ Sumer S., (2015, February 9) -The Productive Muslim- Empathy a trait that can transform your life retrieved from https://productivemuslim.com/empathy-transform-life/ YouTube References: [Bayyinah Institute], (2016, August 8). The Path to Self- Awareness -Amazed by the QuranNouman Ali Khan. [Video File] Retrieved from: https://www.youtube.com/watch? v=y0LJ5JygwTM [IISC Multimedia] (2019, September 21) Emotional intelligence in Islam (Part 2): Examples from the life of the Prophet Mohammad (SAW)- Navaid Aziz [Video File] Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqyIkaAM_W0 Quran and Hadith references: Sunnah.com - Book of Miscellany, https://sunnah.com/bukhari/78/141 Quran.com - Surah At-Tawbah https://quran.com/9/128

Sunnah.com - Book of Miscellany, https://sunnah.com/riyadussaliheen/1/224

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

By: Ahsan Ayub

Y

ou wake up one fine morning, you take a shower, you wear your fancy new clothes, you eat your breakfast, and you peek outside your window. It’s bright, it’s sunny, and it

looks inviting. You don’t check AccuWeather and leave only with your hoodie on because “man, it’s super sunny outside and it can’t possibly be cold, right?” …. Right?

Hah you are in for a treat. Your blunders don’t end there. You get blasted with a gust of blistering cold air (Continued on page 17)

Photo by Filip Bunkens on Unsplash

(Continued from page 16)

and you think to yourself “naw that can’t be right – it was 15°C just yesterday. I should keep going; it’ll get warmer.” And again, you’re wrong.

You start realizing your colossal error in judgment while waiting for the bus at your bus stop. It starts with a little tingle in your fingers, then you lose all sensation, then they start to turn blue, and then… sorry, it’s hu-

mor, not horror, but you know the rest.

Speaking of humor – there is absolutely nothing funny about the Calgary winters. For a majority of everyone reading this, the worst thing you have to contend with is driving on slippery roads, but if you drive safely and take sufficient care, you’re most likely going to be fine. But for people who have to rely on public transit for the daily commute, the months of November, December, January, February, March, April and sometimes May as well, are our Freddy Krueger. But even worse because in those movies, people could run from Freddy Krueger; and running is practically impossible in our 3 pants, 5 shirts, and the remaining 274 layers. And even if we did somehow manage to run, we’d probably slip on the ice and break something important… I dunno… like a leg or something.

At the end of the day, I only have one piece of advice for you: be wiser than I am. Do you remember the hypothetical person from the beginning of this article who “forgets” and/or neglects to check the weather because it “looks warm” outside? Yeah that’s me. Ya Allah give me the ability to learn from my mistakes and enable me to check the weather next time I leave the house in winters. Aameen.

By: Beenish Khurshid Montreal, Quebec

A

s we walk through life, we will encounter many stories.

Some stories will tell us about a people far away a long time ago. Some will tell us about the people today and how they interact with their surroundings. And some will

be stories about ourselves - who we are, why we are, and what we are.

What is common among all these stories is that they tell us something about the world, what it is, and how to engage in it. They shape our perspective on what is possible and impossible, right and wrong, acceptable and intolerable. Some stories lead to the elevated path, and some lead to the path of misguidance, confusion, and destruction. “And have we not shown him the two highways?� (90:10) These stories come to us from many sources. The obvious (Continued on page 20)

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

(Continued from page 18)

ones: books, videos, TV shows, news

•

Comprehension - understand the

and media. But sometimes there are

deen, what Allah wants from us,

stories underlying the stories that tie

and who we should be as people.

together a narrative of how a culture

Build Emaan.

or society perceives and interacts with

the world. Sometimes the narratives

•

Application - apply the principles

that are being told to us are not obvi-

and the injunctions of deen and

ous even to the speaker of the narra-

Emaan in our daily lives.

tive.

When we engage with the world in

•

Analyze - When learning new sto-

a process of learning, it is important

ries, analyze them. Does it align

for us to face the narratives that are

with the principles of our deen?

being presented to us, understand

Why? Why not? Is there wisdom in

them, and then evaluate the narrative:

the perspective? Where is it coming

is this going to lead me to the path of

from? Which path could this story

Allah, or is it going to lead me to a

lead to?

path of loss? To properly deconstruct the stories we listen to, it is important to always think critically.

•

Synthesize - Take in multiple perspectives and views, based on your knowledge understanding and ap-

•

Knowledge - learn the deen, what is

plication of Islam, develop a view

right and wrong, and what the path of Allah looks like.

(Continued on page 21)

take towards the path of knowledge as

(Continued from page 20)

•

on the story.

Muslims is to pick up the Qur’an, and

Take Action - Lastly, once you have

read it. Set aside some time every day

developed a view: there is truth

- maybe it is when your alarm goes off

and wisdom in the story. Or this

and you don’t quite want to get out of

story

ghaflah

bed. Maybe it is right before or right

(heedlessness). Or this story tells us

after you pray Fajr. Maybe it is right

about something bad that is hap-

after you go to bed. Or on the bus/

pening that needs to change, do

train to work. But set aside this time,

something about it. Talk to people

and read one verse, three verses, or

about the story, or warn people

one ruku (one topic or section - often

against the story. Volunteer and

indicated with little graphic symbols in

help to change what you learned

the Qur’an). There are many apps that

about. Or think about how your

allow you to read the translation, re-

children will understand and react

cite, or listen to the recitation of the

to the story, and how you can teach

Qur’an. “Quran for Android” or its

them how to engage with the story.

equivalent “Qur’an for iPhone” are

leads

to

good ones. “Muslim Pro” also comes Knowledge “This is the Book about which

with the Qur’an and it’s translation.

The importance of reading the

there is no doubt, a guidance for

Qur’an daily or regularly is this: with

those conscious of Allah -” (2:2)

all the narratives and social pressures

The most important step one can (Continued on page 22)

alexandra-seinet-15499-unsplash

(Continued from page 21)

we are influenced by every day, if we

45:12-13) So reading Qur’an increases our

want to stay on the straight path, then

knowledge and awareness about the

we have to have a source of input into

wisdom and guidance of Allah SWT. It

our minds and hearts that calls us to

is to reflect and ponder upon the signs

the straight path on a regular basis.

and verses of Allah SWT to consider

God Almighty in his infinite mercy pro-

with our hearts and minds, brings us a

vided us with the Jumu’ah prayer as

level further, a level closer to compre-

that reminder and source of guidance.

hending the truth, the depth of wis-

But to preserve our hearts and minds

dom, and the nuances of the guidance

better, to tie ourselves more closely to

of Allah SWT. It is through this reflec-

the deen, and the wisdom, inspiration,

tion that our hearts find soundness,

guidance and peace of the words of

contentment, and peace with the prin-

Allah SWT.

ciples and injunctions of Allah SWT Comprehend

“It is Allah Who has subjected the sea to you, that ships may sail through it by His command, that ye may seek of His Bounty, and that ye may be grateful. And He has subjected to you, as from Him, all that is in the heavens and on earth: behold in that are Signs, indeed, for

those who reflect.” (Al-Jathiya -

against all odds and in even the most trying circumstances.

Apply “O you who have believed, obey Allah and His Messenger and do not turn from him while you hear [his order].” (8:21) It is not until we apply and comply with the words of Allah SWT and His (Continued on page 23)

(Continued from page 22)

Muhammad SAW and the guidance of

injunctions that we have truly accept-

Allah SWT.

ed the faith fully. Until we act on what

Think critically about things, be-

we believe, the belief is just a theoreti-

cause every new narrative you are ex-

cal acceptance of an abstract hypothe-

posed to and has the potential of in-

sis. When faith is practiced, is when

fluencing your thinking has the ability

faith is tested. When faith is practiced,

to bring you closer or further away

it is understood. And most truly, when

from Allah SWT and the path or purity

faith is practiced, it is the strongest.

and righteousness. Some narratives

Analyze

mix truth with falsehood. Some narra-

“O you who have believed, if there

tives may lean on the truth, but may

comes to you a disobedient one with

not be a fair or kind way of looking at

information, investigate, lest you

a situation. Some narratives may not

harm a people out of ignorance and

hurt anyone, and we personally don’t

become, over what you have done,

see a reason why it is bad to think a

regretful.� (49:6)

certain way, but may be clearly against

When you watch a movie, or listen

the guidance of Allah SWT and His infi-

to lyrics of a song, or are exposed to

nite wisdom. And some narratives are

something you find new or confusing,

based in truth, call towards justice and

ask yourself some questions: is this

kindness and mercy, and are in accord-

true, is this fair, is this the best way to

ance with the words of God and the

live life, who is hurt by this way of liv-

actions of His Prophets even if it may

ing, and is this in accordance with the

not come from one who calls himself a

wisdom and teachings of the Prophet shirly-niv-marton-377770-unsplash

(Continued on page 24)

Muslim.

Take Action Synthesize

“And let there be [arising] from you

You may not have all the infor-

a nation inviting to [all that is] good,

mation with you all at once, and you

enjoining what is right and forbid-

may not understand everything all at

ding what is wrong, and those will be

once. But what is important is to keep

successful.” (3:104)

trying and to keep pursuing the truth,

Once you have understood the nar-

and the wisdom of Allah SWT. This

rative, and the truth and falsehood,

may involve researching the story, re-

guidance and misguidance in it has be-

searching perspectives, reading fur-

come clear to you, apply it in your life

ther Qur’an to understand Quranic

by either protecting yourself and your

guidance, asking an Imam, talking to

family from it, or by acting on it. But

family and friends. But remember, al-

the believers are one ummah, a broth-

ways listen to everyone’s perspective,

erhood, so once something has be-

but make up your own mind based on

come clear to you, take steps to warn

your own heart, and asking for and re-

or invite your brothers and sisters in

lying on Allah SWT’s guidance.

Islam who may or may not have realized this trap or this opportunity for

“Is he who relied on a clear proof

good just yet.

from his Lord like those for whom

It is through this communal action

the evil that they do is beautified

that we can draw ourselves, each of us

while they follow their own lusts?” (Muhammad - 47:14)

and all together, closer to Allah SWT and righteousness as a community.

And just like the communal prayer is dearer to Allah SWT than the individual prayer, the barakah and the reward of our uniting and inviting our community towards the path of righteousness will be greater In’Sha'Allah.

“The believing men and believing women are allies of one another.

They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those - Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (9:71)

May this article be one of those initiatives pulling us all closer to Him.

Ameen.

Photo by Sarah Dorweiler on Unsplash

‫مفَ​َمَأمميمِم َمنمَشيمم َفمَمم َمعم ْملمفمَ َ​َم َدل نأم ياممَمَن َعن َدنأمَمهمَم م ن َدنأمممم َممم َ نأمم َ ن ن َممَم َمم‬ َ َ ‫َخمرمم َممم َِمٰم َِ يمِمم‬ ‫مذا َمَمم‬ ‫نَمان َنَمممِم َ نِين مَمم َمممَُن َ يممَم َ ف َ ن مم َن َدلن َم ين م َم وَ​َ َم‬ ‫مِمم َمممَمَمَما َمَم َو َمُهمم َمممَم َمَمم َ نأمم َن َ ن يان مَمم يمم‬ َ‫موم‬ ‫َمَي َدلمَمبيمن م َمم َرمَماأممَ َم‬ َ ‫مو‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ َ َ‫َمْم َا يممو م َمم َممم‬ ‫مَمَمِرم َدلم َممأمٰين مَمم َ َمنو َ ف َ ن مم َمممَمِ َنأم ي ن مَممَمَن ن َ مَمهم َمممَمِ يمنو يمم‬ ‫مذما َم‬ -‫مبمَٰمنمَ​َمي مم َممم َمَنأمم َ َمُم نَِمأم يمم ين م َان يِم م َمم‬ ‫يمش م َ يم‬ So whatever thing you have been given - it is but [for] enjoyment of the worldly life. But what is with Allah is better and more lasting for those who have believed and upon their Lord rely. And those who avoid the major sins and immoralities, and when they are angry, they forgive, And those who have responded to their Lord and es-

tablished prayer and whose affair is [determined by] consultation among themselves, and from what We have provided them, they spend.

Surah Shura (42:36-38)

debby-hud

dson-534511-unsplash

َ َ ‫مهللا م َ يه م َأ َل‬ ْ َ َ ‫َ َ م َِن َ َس مب َ​َ م‬ ‫مَسعتم َ يِ َل مَ َ مص م‬: ‫ِض ي‬ َ َ َ ‫أِل م‬ ‫م"َيمَب َ​َمِ َد َم!مَ َكم َ أم َد َ َمِنم‬: َ ‫م َأ َلمَ ي ممَ َع َأَل‬:‫هللامُلدهمممِملم َ يِ يل‬ ‫ا‬ َ َ ‫َم َ َج َمِن م َ َاو يت َمِل مَُ َ م‬ ‫مَي مَب َ​َ مِ َد َم!مَ َ م‬، َ ‫كمم َو م يِ َ​َب َِل‬ َ ِ َ ‫أمَك َ م‬ ‫مَي مَب َ​َ مِ َد َم!م‬، َ ‫َٰلََْت م ي ي ٰيكم َ َأ َ مَ​َس َ​َأ َل يمِ مَِر َدلْ َاو َمِن م َ َاو يت َمِل‬ َ ‫َ كمَ َ مِمَد َتِن م َٰ يِ َو َ​َب‬ ‫ْشكي َمِب َمشنئًأم‬ َ ‫مَْل َض مخ َ​َط َأَي يمِ مَ َ َِي َدلِن َمو مت ي‬ ‫م‬.‫م‬ "ً‫م َ ْ َا َوه‬ ‫م َٰ يِ َوَ َ َأ‬ ‫َ َْلمَن يتك‬ َ َ َ‫م َح َ ثم َو َس‬:]0453:‫مَ​َِت َ َذيم[ مق‬ ‫َ َمَ يه َ ف‬ ‫مَصدحم‬

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) say, “Allah the Almighty has said: ‘O Son of Adam, as long as you invoke Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O Son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and you then asked forgiveness from Me, I would forgive you. O Son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the Earth, and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as it [too].’ ” It was related by at-Tirmidhi, who said that it was a hasan hadeeth.

Reference: : 40 Hadith Nawawi 42, English translation : Hadith 42

By: Ayesha Nasir Toronto, Ontario

A

bu Qilabah reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “It is an evil mount for a man to rely upon what others

merely assert.” (Sunan Abī Dāwūd)

Dear reader, I will not assume you are subscribed to a newspaper.

Maybe you’re the kind of person who prefers getting their news from the internet directly by scrolling through posts on social media.

Regardless of how you get your news, we can all take a few basic steps to protect our brains from false information.

First, try to tune in to your emotions.

How does the news make you feel? When you read a message on your WhatsApp group chat, take a step back before you forward, (Continued on page 30)

Photo by Drew Beamer on Unsplash

(Continued from page 29)

share or retweet it and recognize the feeling the news gives you. According to Michael A. Caulfied: “Every time content you want to share makes you feel rage, laughter, ridicule, or even a heartwarming buzz, spend 30 seconds factchecking. It will do you well.”

Second, try finding the source.

A lot of posts on the internet are spon-con, meaning sponsored content. They are not news. They are advertisements that help support a news outlet run its business and pay its staff. Even if you believe an advertisement is true, try verifying the information presented in it. If you have ever been the target of a false post pretending to be “news” or an untrue political advertisement, it’s the kind of story you will have scrolled past only to stop and wonder, wait, is that really true?! Of course, sometimes are own lived realities are so shocking, that we start to believe anything could be true. But what Facebook’s Cambridge Analytica scandal and Twitter’s recent decision on banning political advertisements shows is the brokenness of so-called free and fair systems.

Third, ask yourself why you trust the source.

In this age of climate change and genocide deniers, it is so crucial to understand why one earth you believe a reporter or reporting outlet. A few questions to ask yourself: Who produced this piece? Do you know if this is a real, functioning news organization like the Boston Globe or Star Edmonton? Can you locate them on a map? Will you be able to ask to speak to a reporter? A good media outlet tries to not keep secrets. Unless there is a strong legal case to be made for protecting a vulnerable source like a whistleblower, media outlets want to put out a name and (Continued on page 31)

(Continued from page 30)

face for stories in order to be transparent. Pieces that don’t let you figure out where the news is coming from often don’t desire for you to know it. If a story is grown from within a newsroom, anyone who has worked hard on journalistic work will attach their names or at least the name of an organization with the piece.

Fourth, treat ‘trusted’ news outlets with a healthy amount of alertness.

Constant vigilance is not always possible which is why news organizations rely on a number of wire services such as Reuters, the Associated Press and the Canadian Press for foreign news. Writing original content is a craft and that’s what you pay for when you purchase a book or a news subscription for your home. But while your local newspaper is not merely copying content, its use of wire services, which exist to inform multiple news outlets at once, means that it can carryforward mistakes made by the newsroom where the story originated. News outlets are quick to respond to corrections that readers point out to them. For example, I was once reading about a tragedy in my old neighborhood in Karachi. But when I realized Associated Press had incorrectly identified my neighborhood, I wrote to their fact-checking team and within minutes not only did they fix the

mistake, they also issued a correction alongside it.

Fifth, the more you practice researching the better you are at it.

Even simple Google searches can help you find out more about the author, organization and what other journalists saying. Like any network of professionals, journalists are among the harshest critics of their own work and their industry. Even (Continued on page 32)

(Continued from page 31)

though fact-checkers need fact-checking, as is admitted by Poynter’s International Factchecking Network, there are a number of fact checking sites such as doubtit.ca that walk you through what to look for. Even using Wikipedia, can help you find different sources. Each article on the site is essentially crowdsourced and what’s written as a fact has a footnote at the end, that helps

you conduct further research on the topic. On a search engine, if I want to look for something on a site, I can narrow search results by using their Advanced Search Tools. Images and videos can be fact-checked by doing reverse image searches on free services such as TinEye and Amnesty International YouTube Data Viewer.

There is a great deal of work out there in protecting yourself from “fake news”.

Just make sure that in combating fake news, as some people have made it their life’s mission, you yourself are not spreading more of it.

Photo by Maarten Deckers on Unsplash

Black Hole

D

By: Shaista Khurshid Calgary, Alberta

o you have any place in your home or your office, which is kind of a black hole? I am not referring to a junk drawer or a cabinet where you cannot discover anything. Even if you have retained it for fifteen years. I am talking about a black-hole, a rut, a sacred

place, which just sucks you into. When you’re there you cannot do anything else. You ‘re (Continued on page 35)

(Continued from page 34)

completely paralyzed, practically every day in it.

I have one. My chair in my living room. It is placed in a way, that it keeps the person away from all the distractions aka all the work which one supposed to be doing in a day. Its placement is right in front of the TV and a laptop, virtually away from the bookshelf, kitchen, broom closet and more. You got the picture. The coziness of the chair sometime surpasses the effort it takes to reach and collect a book from the bookshelf.

Or to the get the broom to sweep.

Even though I am blaming the placement of the chair on my intellectual laziness, but I genuinely think, it’s not what the apparent problem is. I think this chair is a magical black-hole. Whence I enter it, as if I am in the universe parallel to mine. I cannot escape it’s luxury, it’s comfort, the way it welcomes me, soothes me, and assist me to forget that there are tons of duties waiting for me. Day after day I sat there thinking, why in

the world the work is not done yet. Do you think that there is any problem here?

Is this chair really the magical place? Or is this a rut? Or it encourages me to get creative? Is it a black hole which graciously invites me in and doesn’t enable me to flee it until the day is finished?

Is it indeed a problem or is it me who earnestly seeks it’s comfort to escape from the critical things in the day; the things which actually matters “the chores”?

Photo by Kari Shea on Unsplash

B OOK R EVIEW

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

O

ur book club has read many books, including memoirs. We read some breathtaking and heartbreaking biographies. This book, though was a hard read. There were times when I barely possessed the courage to read it further and here is why.

This book elegantly exposes a massive scandal happened decades ago in Memphis, Tennessee. This scandal remained hidden for a long time. The truth came out when some adopted children (who thought they were orphans) started to search for their families.

This opened the pandora box of the coverups done by the officials and rich. It also opened countless questions like, why it wasn’t prevented. The aristocracies of this monstrous crime against families and children are still not uncovered fully yet. Nevertheless, this crime not only changed the lives of those who were directly affected by it, but also shaped of those who willingly or unknowingly touched by it.

This book masterfully reveals the truth in a fiction. This book by Lisa Wingate switches between the period of great depression and present time. The chapters alternate between these two times, therefore keep readers hooked to anticipation of the next. It also connects the readers to its characters emotionally.; Sometimes to the level when one is drawn into the pain, helplessness and bleak future, the characters were facing.

Though this crime happened long ago but by reading this book one can emotionally connect with the victims of this abuse. This tyranny not only affected those who were the direct victims of this crime, but it equally shook those who believe in the systems, to work for the people and not against them. In the acknowledgments the author has included the

links to the real scandal.

By: Shaista Khurshid Calgary, Alberta

Photo by Han Chenxu on Unsplash

E

very mature and decent society develop systems to live with each other in harmony. Islam is no different. Islam directs individuals to give each other their rights. It also explains what transgression against other humans is. It advises about the limits of our actions as well. The system is based on a simple principle stated below:

َ ‫َ​َيم َُِّيَأمَ​َ يأسمَم يِ َم َ ب ي يُك‬ ‫َمم َن َس ًألمم‬ َ َ​َ َ ‫مَذيم َخلََِ يُكم َف َم ا ْس َممَ َح َ ْه َمم َخلَ َقم‬ َ ‫أممَٰثم َ َي َمَأمَم َ​َج ًأوم َر َِ ًر‬ َ ‫أمُم َ َ​َج‬ َ َ َ‫َمَم يِ َم‬ -‫مَذيمت َ َس َألَي َ م َٰ َه َمم َ​َْل َحأ َمممَ مَ َ َمَك َ مَُلَد يُكم َ َ ي ًاأم‬ ‫ا‬ O humankind fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both many men and women. And fear Allah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed, Allah is ever, over you, an Observer. (Qur’an 4:1)

The rule of engagement with human are simple. Treat others with respect and causing turmoil in the society due to our own whims and desires is not acceptable. The next Ayah explains it further, (Continued on page 40)

(Continued from page 39)

LACK OF COMMUNICATION

َ َ‫َ​َيم َُِّي‬ ‫أمَذ َاَمِ َ ِي َ​َموممَأْ ي ي َم َِ َ َ​َ​َ يُكمَٰنَِ يُك َمَبَ َاأ َط َلمَوم َِ م‬ َ َ َ ‫تَ يك‬ ‫مِتأ َ هًم َ​َمتَ َو َْضم َف يُِكم َمم َوممَِ يتلي َم َِ يا َس يُكم امَ مَ َ م‬ ‫أمم َ َم َا َعلم َ َٰ َ َِلمُي َمًَنً َمم يظل ًَأمفَ َس ا َفم ي َلد َهم‬ َ ً ‫َ​َك َ م َب يُكم َ َومي‬ َ‫ًنَ ً َم َمم َ​َك َ م َ َٰ َ َِلمَُ َ مَ َ مي َ​َس ًر‬

EXPECTATIONS AND DESIRES

O you who have believed, do not consume one another's wealth unjustly but only [in lawful] business by mutual consent. And do not kill yourselves [or one another]. Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful. And whoever does that in aggression and injustice — then We will drive him into a Fire. And that, for Allah, is [always] easy.

(Qur’an 4:29–4:30)

USING RELIGION FOR YOUR OWN DESIRES

Wealth, possessions, honor and rights of others are off-limits. The details of rights and responsibilities are further discussed in various ayahs of the Qur’an.

What is Marital Discord?

According to Merriam Webster dictionary: “A discord is lack of agreement or harmony (as between persons, things, or ideas)”. There might be several reasons for that, few are listed below: PERSONAL BIASES CULTURAL CLASHES PERSONALITY CLASHES

SELF CENTERED LIFESTYLE

LACK OF PERSONAL CONNECTION MARRYING FOR WRONG REASONS

LACK OF RESPECT OF PERSON, OPINIONS, IDEAS, WORK STYLE AND MORE These are the few things among many, which can fatigue even a very loving, kind, and caring person overtime.

Prevention: There are numerous ways to prevent marital discord.

Budget Ourselves: Understanding ourselves is a key step . This can help us discover our limits and boundaries. It can also help us detect what we can give and how much we need to take, to survive.

We need a very mature and realistic look at oneself without comparing it .

It will also assist us in finding out what we can bring in to the relationship and how can we make it happen.

It also help us to determine our weaknesses, regulate our thoughts (Continued on page 41)

(Continued from page 40)

and actions before it gets out of hand.

See Others as Human: Understanding others as human beings can give us the ability to see other’s needs, fallibility and depth. It can help us to deal with the situation fairly.

Be Ready to Give: Human relations are based on give and take. Some relationships give more than they take, like parents and teachers. However, most relations are based on fair or equal grounds. If couples don’t, give and take equitably, the relationship is not going to last.

Listen: Listening to others is a great skill. Understanding what the other is saying and what it means, helps to decide what is best to do. Inactive listening is a big part of marital discord.

Get Out of the Box: We all like to create a fantasy box for ourselves. As a child it might be a toy or a cartoon or a favorite book or an imaginary friend or space. That's our safe and happy space where we can live on our own terms. This happy place lets us punish or hide anyone whom we might feel threatening. As we grow, sometimes we keep this box Photo by Vincent Burkhead on Unsplash

with us. Since this box provide us happiness and comfort, we like to believe that it provides the same comfort to others. As a result of this, we sometimes like to fit our spouses and children into that box. This adult box is usually more rigid than our childhood box. The flexibility and understanding which maturity provides to an adult are missing in those boxes. These boxes are not meant to be a reality. This illusion should remain a fantasy. Especially if It is made by our unrealistic thinking, lack of knowledge, immaturity and biases. Pushing it into reality, is another way to bring discord to the relationship.

Don’t Fiqhify Your Relationship The biggest turn off for couples in discord is to bring their own version of faith and culture into the dispute. This is usually not done to resolve the dispute. Inadvertently it is done to prove ourselves right. When ego comes into any dispute, it becomes an unresolvable feud. This can emotionally detach the spouse.

It is better to discuss before marriage, if faith, culture or anything one spouse is passionate about. Compatibility check for couples should be done before marriage. There is no (Continued on page 42)

(Continued from page 41)

shame in discussing it after marriage either. If needed, it can be discussed continuously after. Only that, it should be done in a healthy non-judgmental way. The intention should be to find a moderate and compromising solution to the dispute, on which both couples agree.

break down. Spouses cannot live by walking on eggshells all their lives. Each needs to be heard and cared for. “Me Myself and I” are the mantra of egotist and not thereof a couple. Our hearts should be clean and free from our egos if we want o survive as a couple.

Road to Bliss

Don’t Strangle Each Other When our version of life become the only version of life, the partner gets suffocated. Giving our partner a breather whether it's coffee with his or her mates or getting a personal hobby away from the complications of family life, could give them a breather. Trust is the main key of marriage, as is, honesty. If we cannot trust our partner for whatever reason, we really need to look deeply at ourselves and deal with our issues.

If we like to micromanage and control our spouses and don’t like to give him or her a breather; it means there are trust and boundary issues. Booking a counselling session would be a smart idea.

Ego is your Enemy: When a person’s ego is inflated, there isn’t any space left in the heart for anyone to reside in. This also causes a relationship to suffocate and eventually

now what!

Now you are married, and you are not seeing eye to eye with each other. Allah in Qur’an gives you a guideline for it to solve at this level of conflict too.

‫َمَ م َخا يَش َمشَِ َأقمَٰنَ​َ َ َ​َأمفَأٰ َعِي َم َو َ​َكًأم َف َم َِه َ َِل َمم َو َ​َكًأم َف َم َِه َلهَأم‬ -‫َ ا ماي َو َ َمَص َ ًحأم ي َ َفف َقمَ ي مَٰنَ​َ ي َ​َأمۗمَ مَ َ َمَك َ مَُ َلميًأم َخن ًَرَم‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ ‫ا‬ And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things]. (Qura’n-4:35)

‫م‬ ‫م‬

َِ ‫َمَ َ مَ َو َِهمخَأفَتم َ َمَٰع َلهَأمنيشي ًَُم َِممَ َوَضً أمفَ َ م يجَِ َأحمَُلَ َْي َ​َأم‬ َ ‫ِض َت‬ َ‫مَْل يا يسمَ​َشحم َمم‬ ‫ي ا َل َحأمَٰنَ​َ ي َ​َ ي‬ َ َ ‫أمصل ًحأم َممَ​َ ل يحمخَرم َۗمم يِ او‬ ‫ا‬ -‫َمممَدل يِ َمفَأ مَ َ َمَك َ م َٰ َ​َأممَع َ​َلي َ م َخن ًَرَم‬ ‫يُت َسر ي‬ َ ‫ا‬

And if a woman fears from her husband contempt or evasion, there is no sin upon them if they make terms of settlement between them - and settlement is best. And present in [human] souls are stinginess. But if you do good

(Continued on page 43)

(Continued from page 42)

and fear Allah - then indeed Allah is ever, with what you do, Acquainted.

(Qur’an 4:128)

The Art of Reconciliation: Allah has provided a wise way to deal with a discord. When all the prevention doesn’t work, community gets involved. It’s time to bring people from each side to the table, whom both can trust. These individuals should be sincere, wise, knowledgeable, empathetic and God-fearing.

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

These people can do arbitration without complicating the relationship more than it already is. The couple can Involve one or more people or professionals to the mediation process. The intention is to resolve and find an agreeable solution to the conflict. If all the effort suffocates and couple decides that marriage must end, then Allah says:

‫َمَ م َدلَ َاو َأم يْ َ​َمَ ي ي ا‬ ‫َمِ َع َدل َهم َمم َ​َك َ مَ ي َمم َ​َِ ًعأم َو َكميًأم‬ َ ‫مّلُكم َف‬ ‫ا‬-

But if they separate [by divorce], Al(Continued on page 45)

(Continued from page 43)

lah will enrich each [of them] from His abundance. And ever is Allah Encompassing and Wise. (Qur’an- 4:130) In conclusion, even if we are a mature couple, discord can happen, but there are ways to prevent it. There are many methods for a couple to deal with conflict wisely, some advice is given above. On the other hand, when all efforts of prevention stifle, couples can bring some wise, mature individuals and professionals to solve the issue. They can help the couple to see the relationship differently; And help bring harmony again in the relationship.

Allah has allowed us to seek divorce, if after every effort, discord continues. Remember! Allah doesn’t want us to live in a misery, as if we are conducting an act of piety. Allah wants us to live in a community, in relationships and live in harmony. He wants us to give each other their rights and resolve our differences with maturity and wisdom.

َ َ ‫مَْل َضم َۗممَ​ََِ َممصد‬ َ ‫َم َ َ م َ َأمِفمَ​َس َ​َ َأم َ​َت َمم َ َأمِف‬ ‫أبم َ َم َن َل يُك َممَ​َيم يمكمَِ َ مَم يِ َمَ َ م َممَ متَك يا يومَمفَأ م َ َ م َ َأمِفم‬ َ َ‫أمَذ َاَمِيممي َمَ​َ َكت‬ ‫ا‬ َ َ ‫مَْل َضم َمم َ​َك َ مَ ي م َ َ اد‬ َ ‫َمم َ َ م َ َأمِفمَ​َس َ​َ َأم َ​َت َمم َ َأمِف‬ َ ‫َ​َس َ​َ َأم َ​َت َمم َ َأمِف‬ ‫مَْل ا َضم َمممَمر َا يِ َمَب َ َمم َر اد ً م‬ َ ً ‫أمَحد‬ And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth.

And We have instructed those who were given the Scripture before you and yourselves to fear Allah. But if you disbelieve - then to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. And ever is Allah Free of need and Praiseworthy. And to Allah belongs whatever is in the heavens and whatever is on the earth. And enough is Allah as Disposer of affairs. (Qur’an 4:131-132)

Further Reading: •

“Muslim Marriage Crisis”

•

“Home Where the Heart Is”

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Qalaqand Ingredients: Condensed Milk - 1 can Ricotta Cheese - 1 container -500g Pistachios - a few for decoration

Raisins and cashews - optional Method: •

Combine condensed milk with ricotta cheese and cook on low/medium flame until it thickens.

•

Raisins and nuts are optional, but if used, should be added at this point.

•

Cook for about 20 minutes.

•

Pour the mixture in a shallow dish evenly.

•

Decorate the top with crushed pistachios.

•

Let it cool for an hour before cutting so that it is set.

•

Delicious kalakand is ready!

Baking method: •

Combine all things together put into a baking dish lined with parchment paper.

•

Bake it for 20 minutes or until golden brown on sides.

•

Add extra garnish . Cool it for few hours and serve it.

If you don’t find ricotta cheese, make it yourself. Here is the recipe.

Curd Base Milk 3-4 liter Lemon juice Salt a pinch Cheese cloth Method: •

Warm the milk until it’s almost boiling

•

Add lemon juice and pinch of salt

•

Keep cooking on low flame until all the milk curds and whey are separated.

•

Cool it and put into cheese cloth and hang it to drain

•

After a day, take it out rinse into a warm water and hang more to take out all water.

•

Your curd is ready.

Photo by Darren Nunis on Unsplash

Photo by Joakim Aglo on Unsplash

© NWMM NorthWest Muslim Magazine