I Am Better Than Him!

By Shaista Khurshid, Calgary Alberta

Note: This article has been adapted from “Better Than You”, NorthWest Muslims Magazine March-2018

A common proverb is: “It takes a village to raise a child” and during this upbringing we subtly acquire the attitudes and characters of the village which raised us. We also subconsciously adopt their habits, culture or philosophy. Together it makes us who we are as a person. Though the village might want us to acquire only the best they could offer but we subconsciously attain attitudes and philosophy which might not be positive. One of them is self righteousness.

WHAT IS SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS?

“Self-righteousness is a feeling or display of moral superiority derived from a sense that one's beliefs, actions, or affiliations are of greater virtue than those of the average person."

Wikipedia

Most of us will think, what is this talking about? I can’t be self-righteous?

Though, when we unintentionally see ourselves on a higher rank, while deeming others as lesser, in knowledge, understanding, piety, good deeds, looks, status and more; we are in a state of self-righteousness. More so, Judging others constantly for their deeds, acts, or existence, or thinking about it, is also a form of self-righteousness. Self-righteousness is unconscious thinking which feeds us that we are better than others. Our religion, our way of life, our thinking processes, whatever path we’re on is the best while others are inferior than us in most forms.

[ Allah] said, "What prevented you from prostrating when I commanded you?" [Satan] said, "I am better than him. You created me from fire and created him from clay." [Quran 7:12]

What was Satan’s mistake which led him to fall from grace, heaven, and status? His self righteousness which led him to arrogance. It was hidden beneath the core of his piety and worship, which sprouted like a greenery, after the rain, from his heart. He did not do most sins which is common among us; he was an obedient servant. His mistake was arrogance. His error was to believe that he is better than someone who is made with mud because he is created from fire. In his understanding, somehow, fire was superior to mud. This self-superiority had caused him this great fall.

If we think that we are better, because we are Muslim, more religious, or more pious, or we pray all prayers, so on and so forth; we judge others as lesser. We do not say it out loud but inadvertently, we say that I am better than you. Self-righteousness whether it is a hidden superiority complex or open arrogance; this can trickle us to patronize and to express apathy towards others.

“Have you not seen those who claim themselves to be pure? Rather, Allah purifies whom He wills, and injustice is not done to them, [even] as much as a thread [inside a date seed].”(4:49)

The opposite of self-righteousness is humbleness. The humbleness starts with the love of Allah. When we love Allah, we are obedient to Him and responsive to His signs. The signs of Him also include His creation. The love towards His creation without judgment is a sign of humbleness.

It is recognizing others as creations of Allah and our equal. We should know that all humans and jinn are fallible and sinners. Understanding that we are together in this test of life and not here to compete with each other. We can shift our mindset from scrutinizing, mimicking, and weighing in terms of inferior or superior. Instead we can understand that we are all struggling together to be better in the eyes of Allah. Understanding that our job on this earth is not to observe and scrutinize other’s mistakes, instead to keep ourselves from noticing people's faults. Enjoin good and forbid evil without the judgement or belief that others sin more. Understanding that we are all together placed on this earth by Allah and He tests us the way He deems appropriate. Lastly, we will have to face our lord one day. having a firm belief that this earth is an examination center and not the convocation day.

O mankind, indeed, we have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted. [Quran 49:1

Our upbringing and way we notice things can ignite self-righteousness in us. But, If we understand who we are, why are we here, what is our relationship with individuals on this earth and finally who our God is, it will help. We should be thankful to the village who raised us but we should shed the maladaptive behaviours. It takes a conscious and conscientious effort to recognize self righteousness and arrogance in us and keeping it off limits from our heart is worth the hassle.

“He was most knowing of you when He produced you from the earth and when you were fetuses in the wombs of your mothers. So do not claim yourselves to be pure; He is most knowing of who fears Him.” (53:32)

Quranic Reference: https://quran.com/

Photo By: Charles Tyler on Unsplash