“But I’m one of the nice guys” 32

and protecting women, are actually the ones who attempt to take advantage of them. There’s a pretty simple explanation for this gross behaviour: these men feel that women owe them something (usually sex), merely for acting like a decent human being. These guys never admit to doing anything wrong - most of the time they won’t take any responsibility and even play the victim when accused of overstepping the line.

When the Me Too movement, or more recently issues like violence against women, are focused upon in the media, some men are quick to jump on the the hype and are the first to post about it on their social media; would these same men call out their friends who make rape jokes or slut shame women? Unfortunately, in most cases the answer is no.

The sad reality is that intelligent women with strong feminist values are bound to be impressed by these ‘good guys’ - men who are close with their mothers/ sisters, would never catcall and reject toxic masculinity. But, if you really think about it, this means that the bar is extremely low; calling yourself a feminist in order to impress women and really being an ally are two completely different things. If men really want to show up for women, it’s time they call out harmful behaviour in front of other men and stop expecting women to reward them simply for doing the bare minimum.

- Grace Fairham (Psychologist, Feminist)