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Sinner Zine

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“I see other people and I loathe the seemingly careless

way they live their lives. ”

their darkest secrets.

photography and individuals submitting

of the deadly sins through creative

This booklet explores the consequences

perfectionism leads to the 7 deadly sins.

This zine is based on the theme of how


“I believe

the pursuit of perfection

in life whether it be in your career,

in your looks or even how you clean can

lead to greed. That constant need for something

to be better and better, never being satisfied. It is

toxic, we always want it to be more beautiful, more

successful and we are greedy for everything. I feel like

sometimes we must just look at what we have in life and be

grateful and stop aiming for perfectionism. Because nothing

in life is perfect the world is filled with beautiful imperfections.”


NIV)

(Ephesians 4:19

and they are full of greed.”

to indulge in every kind of impurity,

themselves over to sensuality so as

“Having lost all sensitivity, they have given


an individual can process before it begins affecting their mentality, I must be perfect because of this. I cannot afford to make a mistake in-front of important people and agencies, I envy those who can be themselves and be liked by everyone, I must disguise my true self through perfectionism.

controlling me?

judgement, am I good enough or is my perfectionism

perfection in the agency I choose has clouded my

but why should I have to change? My strive for

which may be the problem resulting in my rejection,

are not worth my time. My pride leads to arrogance

who only have 1000 followers or less on Instagram

for. I believe I am better than small agencies, those

controlling my decisions on which agencies I apply

I confess my pride is overwhelmingly strong,

I have worked so hard. There is only so much rejection

I confess I feel wrath at the smug and

dream career, I feel they are less deserving of it because

unempathetic talent directors that decide

I confess I am envious of those who are living my

my worth from a few photos sent through

lifestyle I want to attain.

email. My personality is not allowed to

I produce, even the

shine through, instead they see a miniscule

by others, the work

extract of my identity that has been

the way I am perceived

rejected so many times it does not exist

anymore.

I strive for perfection. In

I confess I want to attain a luxury lifestyle for the financial freedom and my thirst for fame. Greed is my ego, wanting increasingly more. Buying luxurious items and garments,

becoming popular on social media, this is what perfection looks like for me. Writing this confession, I realise how sad this is. I have had a privileged upbringing, has my spoilt outlook on

life come down to money and fame? Living a life being loved

with no life destroying disease creeping their way in should be

my goal, but I want the fame and fortune too, I want it all. The

uncontrollable thirst I feel for money and fame is indescribable. It eats me up inside every day, but I cannot stop it.


“Pornography presents male and female ideals of beauty

and perfection that cause

lustful desires amongst men

and women. I am aware that

these women and men are

only presented as perfection through camera angles,

plastic surgeries and fantasies

however I still compare

myself to these people and

understand that men may not

lust after me as I do not fit

these ideas of perfection. We

often thrive upon our desires and see them as goals, be it

our physical image or ability to present ourselves as the ideal image”.


Kingdom of God.”

that sort of life will not inherit the

I have before, that anyone living

idolatry. Let me tell you again, as

impurity, lustful pleasures, and

are very clear: sexual immorality,

your sinful nature, the results

“When you follow the desires of

Galatians 5:19-21


I confess my motivation to achieve my dream is deteriorating. My insatiable need for perfectionism has turned to sloth, suppressing my true abilities. I used to apply to agencies regularly, create con-

tent for social media, sometimes gaining a good response. Most of

the time it would reach the same minority of individuals and noth-

ing more, the defeat experienced made me give up and become lazy. I do not create content anymore; I use my university work as an excuse, but I know I can do both. I only have myself to blame.

I confess I lust for the attention off oth-

ers. The fame I want to achieve, the life-

style I want to possess comes down to

attention. I say to my family and peers

that I hate being the centre of attention,

but I confess, I thrive off it. I always like

to stand out of a crowd, hence why my

fashion identity is so important to me. I

act and dress in a way to receive compli-

ments off others. When I don’t receive

any positive responses from my peers,

I feel self-conscious and vulnerable and

imperfect. I shouldn’t care what others

think and I tell myself this, but I know

me, and my ego do care.

I confess, gluttony is my weakness. My need

to thrive off people’s attention, time and help

everyday has made me lose my true authenticity.

I want more, more, more, which in turn makes

me vulnerable to criticism and have a weak

heart. Gluttony feeds my ego; it feeds my mental health, and it masks my vulnerability.


up a lot of my time and

energy. My strive for perfectionism

is controlled by my obsession with food.

I overindulge, eating away at my emotions, Gluttony up a lot of my time and energy. My anxieties takes and stress. This indulgent behaviour has got

strive for perfectionism controlledwith by my so serious I have stoppedissocialising myobsession friends as with food. I overindulge, eating away at my emotions, much, causing me to be upset and lonely. I order multiple

anxieties and stress. indulgent has got so take-aways when I amThis bored, usuallybehaviour on a night, contributing serious I have stopped socialising with my friends to my financial difficulties. All these factors lead toas mymuch,

causing meworsening. to be upsetBut andwhat lonely. multiple takedepression doIIorder do when I’m depressed? I aways when I am bored, on a night, contributing EAT and I EAT and EAT. usually I feel defeated. to my financial difficulties. All these factors lead to my

depression worsening. But what do I do when I’m depressed? I EAT and I EAT and EAT. I feel defeated.

Gluttony is often conn ected with idolatry (Philip pians 3:19; 1 Corinthians 10 :7), and leads to deadness of heart (Psalm 115: 4-8, 119:70).

Gluttony takes


“I’d say

that I’m a

perfectionist out of pride because

I have an

overwhelming

desire to

be perfect.

I constantly

challenge myself to

pursue new goals because I

feel a deep sense of pleasure and satisfaction when I achieve my ambitions. I refuse to

accept anything short of perfection through

stretching and testing my intelligence. I think critically of my accomplishments, and believe that nothing I do is worth my while unless it is absolutely perfect. Any flaws or mistakes

in what I do make me question my self-pride,

because how can I be proud of myself unless I am perfect at everything I do?”


“Pride is so natural to fallen man that it springs up in his heart like weeds in a wellwatered garden … its every touch is evil.”


“One notable way perfectionism

impacts my life is through my

mental health. It has control over my behaviour as it fuels my need

to have control over my mind and my life, two things

that are out of

my hands and

I can’t truly

control. I envy people who seem

to have control over their lives

and their daily routines, which encourages me to be better.”

‘Your punishment shall be immersed in freezing water forever’


“Sometimes I get

overwhelmed with

the idea of starting tasks, as I hold the results of my work to

high standards. Subsequently I find

procrastination and the idea of starting tomorrow

(everyday)

appealing. I do get

lazy because of this- this

is something that bothers me. As I find the fear of

perfection leads to me being lazy.”

‘Your

punishment

in hell will

be thrown

into snake

pits.’


“I am aware I hold myself to a high

standard. My health, my work, my

weight, the clothes I wear and the way

I look. Do other people? I see other

people and I loathe the seemingly

careless way they live their lives. I

hate that everyone else can be happy

in their skin, happy with the work they submit and

happy with the way they look in pictures. Why

should I sit in my prison of perfectionism meanwhile

being so accepting of other peoples choices. This

feeling of anger, another imperfect part of my personality

I hopelessly attempt to hide, why do other people get to be

happy but not me.”


‘If found guilty of wrath in Hell you shall be dismembered alive’


Pondering, over-thinking, and contemplating, I am sat here trying to think of the perfect way to start this creative writing piece on perfectionism. But here I am, living up to

what a perfectionist does. The thought of

perfectionism is associated with the up-most happiness, surrounded by a golden halo, but

the horror of not achieving it crushes people’s sanity and belief in their capabilities. I admit

I strive for perfection, but I will never wholly achieve this in my eyes.

Perfectionism is the underlying issue of

people’s unhappiness. It leads individuals

to change their identity, so what they see as a reflection in the mirror is their idealistic perfection. But perfectionism is seen

differently in everyone’s eyes, making the

strive for it a never-ending yellow brick road.


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Sinner Zine by Northumbria University - Issuu