Northern Express - November 23, 2020

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HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • november 23 - november 29, 2020 • Vol. 30 No. 46 Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 1

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letters Our simple rules: Keep your letter to 300 words or less, send no more than one per month, include your name/address/ phone number, and agree to allow us to edit. That’s it.

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Back to Unfortunate Reality & COVID-19 The last four years our President Trump put America and its citizens first. His talent is to see bad deals that our country was a part of and to cancel those unfair relationships. He did this because he loves our country, understands capitalism, and wants fairness for us. In the short time he had, the policies that Donald Trump changed affected us directly, with lower business taxes, lower gas prices, much lower medicine costs, and more.

Washington needs to make our needs a priority. We have unsecure borders; unfair trade deals; massive previous funding going to foreign countries, with no accountability; veterans with needs; citizens dealing with the opioid crisis; a farming industry with an unclear future; plus natural disasters with wildfires and hurricanes. Our citizens need a president that looks locally, not globally.

Of course Boris Johnson and other foreign leaders are congratulating Biden for winning the presidency; they see dollar signs in his eyes and “CHUMP” across his forehead! Uncle Sam will soon be writing global checks again. I would rather call my President Trump than chump.

Ginger Schultz, Traverse City Holiday Cheer A shoutout to my employer, Hagerty.

For keeping employees safe, finding ways to continue the fun, and for their ongoing support, generosity, and communication through this difficult and crazy pandemic.

Thankful to be part of this amazing organization.

Erin Donahue, Traverse City Ceremony Sway For someone who doesn’t know what a meme or a “hot take” is, you should perhaps question my ability to take full credit for the Biden-Harris and, yes, Gary Peters wins. But since they did win, my actions were surely decisive.

However, I am bowing to the genuine celebrations of the people of Thulasendrapuram, the ancestral home of Kamala Harris’ grandfather. Let it be known

that we breathe in deeply their rose petals and sprigs of sweet-smelling jasmine and do our best to emulate their smashing of 108 coconuts in front of a temple to bring us all good luck.

We here on the Straits of Mackinac offered to the ancestors a bouquet of our new crop of watercress with buckets of pungent mint tea. And we split 108 logs with joy in order to burn an effigy of you-know-who as a lamprey eel with an orange mop-head.

Note: Whatever we did or didn’t do to sway this election, we don’t face disgrace, prison, or the poorhouse, which cannot be said of certain others clinging pathetically to positions of power.

And even though we don’t have Michael Cohen’s $10,000 to wager on what will happen next, we could start a tour of my birth-town Philadelphia (aka Philly), with a little street theater in front of Four Seasons Total Landscaping Shop, Delaware Valley Cremation Center, and Fantasy Island Sex Shop. We’ll then proceed to Independence Hall, ring the Liberty Bell, and read the Constitution, complete with all the amendments, something which the stilltoo-present Oaf of Office has never done.

Anabel Dwyer, Mackinaw City Heavyweight Loser Thinking over the dilemma of President Trump vs. the election results and looking through historical similarities — Bush vs.

Gore as the most recent one — it can be said that in times like this, there have always been times like this. Switching from that direction to something different, consider the “brutal” sport of boxing.

In boxing, there are several weight categories. Heavyweight contenders present the most dramatic action, with two sluggers beating each other as the fans go nuts to see either a TKO, or a rope-dead knock-out punch.

President Trump is a very rough and tough fighter. However, he lacks the necessary skills needed to be a winning president. He cannot tolerate being called a loser. Will he be gracious or a sore head? His “road map” indicates the latter. Too bad for a good legacy and a sad one that shows being an egomaniac never wins while the truth always prevails.

Knowing his personality, he may just say he didn’t find the job to his liking, and he is the real winner, not having to now endure the stress of the office with the losers involved playing politics. And not having to tweet all the time. But watch out for him to be tyrannical, as his present mood indicates, by stalling the transition from office.

Thomas E. Hagan, Empire ISO Truth If I’ve seen one important cultural shift over the past four years, it’s been the blurring of facts and opinions.

It is a fact that President Trump lies in nearly every speech and tweet he makes.

It is a fact that his campaign promises and administrative decisions are founded on information that is misleading at best and plain wrong at worst.

It is a fact that he surrounds himself with people who oppose equality and protections

for minorities and workers.

It is a fact that under his rule, America’s reputation in the world has plummeted.

It is a fact that his most recent tirades seek to undermine American democracy.

The only opinion here is whether or not that makes him unfit to lead. If you ask me — and I think if you would look at the facts and ask yourself — the answer is clear.

Jacob Pszczolkowski, Traverse City Same Rules Regardless I assume in many instances that a lot of other drivers feel my aggravation with bicycles on the road. I know that most of us, although aggravated, respect their right to the road. There are also many laws in place we must abide by that protect bike riders.

The one saying I’ve always heard my whole life in respect to bicyclists is “same road, same rules.” I’m here to ask, at what point do we hold them responsible for their safety? Not a day goes by that I don’t see a rider blow through a stop sign like they own the road! I believe that law enforcement should show them that they are just as responsible as us drivers and start handing out tickets to them. Same road, same rules ...

CONTENTS

features Leland Noir..................................................10

Gift Guide for that Essential Someone...........16 Gift Guide for Her.........................................19 Gift Guide for Kids........................................22 Gift Guide for Mens......................................25 This Season’s Holiday Shows........................28 Let the Local Cash Registers Ring................32

columns & stuff Top Ten.......................................................5

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle...............................6 Opinion.........................................................8 Weird............................................................9 13 Questions (sponsored)............................13 Dates........................................................37 Advice.....................................................35 Crossword..................................................41 Astrology.....................................................41 Classifieds...............................................42

Matthew Hess Doubt? Volunteer.

To the gentleman from Bellaire [“Something Fishy,” featured in Nov. 16 Letters], may I suggest you become involved with your local polling place or township or county. I have and can say that both Republicans and Democrats work very hard to count every vote, which by the way takes a long time! Think of big cities or heavily populated states. We were spoiled by having most elections decided that night or early the next morning. Our elections work. This is the slow, painful process of democratic elections!

Peter Brown, Beulah Same Results Regardless In response to the letter “Something Fishy,” featured Nov. 16], the in-person votes were counted first. Then they got caught up with the mail-in ballots. I, a careful person aware of what COVID-19 can do, didn’t want to stand in line, so I took advantage of mail-in voting.

It seems then that Biden voters were careful and voted early, and Trump supporters take more risks. What would you be saying if the mail-ins were counted first?

Trump would have been trying to play catchup all day. Please put faith in our democratic system. Our election officials did a superb job in horrendous circumstances. Now, let’s have a peaceful transition.

Heather Peyton, Traverse City Poetic Justice Trumpty Dumpty promised a wall, Trumpty Dumpty had a great fall, All of Putin’s men and all of Fox News, Couldn’t help Giuliani get Trumpty elected again.

Bill Hagan, Traverse City

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase PO Box 4020 Traverse City, Michigan 49685 Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Kaitlyn Nance, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris, Jill Hayes For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Dave Anderson, Dave Courtad Kimberly Sills, Randy Sills, Roger Racine Matt Ritter, Gary Twardowski Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny Ross Boissoneau, Jennifer Hodges, Michael Phillips, Steve Tuttle, Anna Faller, Meg Weichman Copyright 2020, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 3

this week’s

top ten LEELANAU CONSERVANCY GROWS PALMER WOODS — A LOT

The Leelanau Conservancy’s Palmer Woods just got quite a bit bigger.

The conservancy announced a 350-acre addition to the natural area and system of hiking, mountain biking and cross-country ski trails, bringing the project’s size to over 1,000 contiguous acres. The addition also expands a shared border between Palmer Woods and the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore to five miles.

Negotiating the addition was complicated and required the conservancy to work with three separate landowners.

“We are just incredibly grateful to these three landowners for making this project possible,” said Tom Nelson, executive director. “And of course, this dream come true would not have happened without the extraordinary generosity of our lead donors.”

Private donors and foundations put up most of the $3.5 million for the purchase of the land and the cost of trail building.

Birds of a Feather, Run Off Your Turkey Dinner Together Gather your flock: Petoskey’s seventh annual 5K Turkey Trot is happening live and in person 9am–11am Nov. 28, parading through downtown Petoskey and ending at the home of the prettiest gazebo in town, Pennsylvania Park. All humans are encouraged to run 6 feet apart, and all proceeds from the event boost the YMCA of Northern Michigan’s financial assistance program, which provides families in the community opportunities to thrive regardless of their ability to pay. $30+ to register; kids under age 5 free. Dogs and strollers welcome. Register at the Y (523 W. Jefferson Street) 8am Nov. 28 or in advance by searching “Petoskey Turkey Trot” at runsignup.com

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Hey, watch it!

MOONBASE 8

A space show where they never go to space? That’s the conceit behind this workplace sitcom that travels far from our ideas of the heroism and brilliance of our astronauts.

The brainchild of a trio of comedy geniuses who also star, John C. Reilly, Fred Armisen, and Tim Heidecker play bumbling but lovable, doofuses who find themselves out in the desert, participating in a simulated study of what it would be like to live on the moon. A charming and silly distraction for our own isolated times, in this let’s just say that in this quirky comedy, the only giant leaps being taken are of the absurdist kind. On Showtime.

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SPREAD SOME CHEER! 2

GIVE THE GIFT OF ART’S!

tastemaker Walloon Lake Inn’s John Cross Whitefish

Used to be when the wife suggested takeout, you hefted your keister up to the local pizza shop, Chinese eatery, or burger joint and got you and your lady a few Styrofoam containers of delicious chow to eat in saggy sweatpants on the couch. Thanks then to the single silver lining of COVID-19, which has so blurred the line between fine and casual dining that we can now order four-star white-tablecloth cuisine by phone. One to-die-for case in point: The Walloon Lake Inn’s latest take-out menu, which offers among its entrees (and starters, salads, and desserts!) their region-renowned John Cross whitefish ($34, shown here), sourced from Charlevoix’s fish monger of the same name and enveloped in a savory panko-parm crust and served with zucchini, summer squash, crispy potatoes, lemon beurre blanc, tomatoes, and capers. Prefer your protein red? May we suggest their braised Wagyu tips in beef sauce, served alongside roasted baby carrots and fennel with a house-made hazelnut spaetzle ($39)? Light the candles and yank on some Dockers, Bob; it’s time to order a foreign flick and show your gal how special a night in with her man can be. See the full takeout menu at www.walloonlakeinn. com. Curbside pickup 5pm–8pm Wednesdays through Sundays. (231) 535-2999

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231.334.3754 DINE-IN or TAKE-OUT

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LIBRARIES LIMIT VISITS OR GO VIRTUAL

Some libraries are cutting down on the number of people allowed inside at once and others have switched to curbside service only, but it’s still possible to borrow books and other media across northern Michigan.

The Traverse Area District Library switched to curbside service following a surge in new virus cases in the region. Library director Michele Howard said it was a difficult call to make was necessary.

“Taking into account the rising number of COVID-19 cases we feel this is an important change to protect our staff and community,” Howard said. “On the bright side, we’ve developed a great system for curbside service and can easily get patrons their library materials. Also, we always have an extensive line of digital materials available on our website.”

Other libraries have also adjusted their policies on response to the new wave in the pandemic.

Otsego County Library is open at a limited capacity, and the Petoskey District Library is also open, and offering curbside service; the Charlevoix Public Library has switched to curbside service and computer use. Cadillac Wexford Public Library is also open for curbside service and computer use by appointment.

Manistee County Library System has transitioned to offering curbside pickup service only, and the Benzie Shores District Library will limit visits to 45 minutes per person per day, and we will have a capacity limit of 20 people.

annual home for the holidays The Traverse Symphony Orchestra had been readying its annual “Home for the Holidays” show at Lars Hockstad Auditorium.

Executive Director Kedrick Merwin said the plan was to perform live for a very limited audience — and then, well … you know.

But like a Christmas wish, now a virtual presentation is coming true. You can catch it Dec. 19, and you should. Get this: Each member of the orchestra is playing and recording their individual part at home, which will then be edited together. The virtual show will also feature the TSO brass quintet, which recently recorded its music, and you’ll get to see some archived material presented. Ain’t nothing like the real thing live, but in times of trouble, the creative go-arounds and community spirit our Northern artists manage are proving to be the best gift of all.

Catch the recording on the TSO’s YouTube channel or through the orchestra’s website at www. traversesymphony.org. There will be no charge.

Stuff we love

The 105th Year of Illumination This magical bayside hamlet of Harbor Springs has unveiled an awe-inspiring Christmas tree in the heart of downtown for more than a century — the pandemic of 1918 included — so it stands to reason the 105th event isn’t going dark during the pandemic of 2020 either. It is, however, going virtual: You can stream the illuminating moment live at 6pm Nov 28 on the Harbor Springs Facebook page.

bottoms up Fonseca 10-year Tawny Port Should you be blessed with a snowy night and fireside this season, be prepared with the ultimate in moment making: a bottle of Fonseca 10-Year-Old Tawny Port. Born of the famed port house founded in Portugal’s Douro Valley in the early 18th century, the 10-year-tawny requires no decanting; simply pour its russet-ruby port into your glass the moment the craving arrives. You’ll be rewarded with a silky-smooth fruit-forward sip — it starts sweet and ripe, with honeyed pear, plum, and a welcome bit of acidic citrus — balanced with a rich, woody hazelnuttiness (fancy wine term). The finish: elegant and velvety to the last.

Serve it post-meal, at room temperature or just slightly cool, with a modestly sweet dessert or, our favorite, toasted chestnuts. Find it at Toski Sands Market, 2294 M-119, between Petoskey and Harbor Springs. (231) 347-9631, www. toskisands.com

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Thanksgiving Week AT H O M E

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 5

THANKS

spectator

by Stephen Tuttle Some folks don't think there's much about 2020 for which we should, or even could, be thankful. The country is painfully divided, we've just completed the most contentious election of our lifetimes, and we have an out-of-control pandemic with restrictions too many of us simply ignore, as if we're immortal, or at least immune.

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As a change of pace, let's thank all those candidates with the courage to put their names on a ballot. Some didn't behave very well, but campaigning is now a game without rules.

Thank you to the majority of voters in Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona who gave us a tiny sliver of hope we might return to rational governance in the near future. Probably not, but maybe.

“Here's some perspective: The novel coronavirus death toll in this country alone is greater than the populations of Wexford, Benzie, Leelanau, Grand Traverse, Antrim, Kalkaska, and Emmet Counties combined. And it took less than 10 months.”

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(Here's some perspective: The novel coronavirus death toll in this country alone is greater than the populations of Wexford, Benzie, Leelanau, Grand Traverse, Antrim, Kalkaska, and Emmet Counties combined.

And it took less than 10 months.)

pandemic, and 60 percent are not expected to reopen. (The thank you does not extend to the current administration or Congress, which have managed to do absolutely nothing to help for weeks.)

Still, there are plenty of people for whom we should be very thankful in a very challenging year.

(231) 252-3552439 E Eighth St. Traverse City

Get your warm fuzzies at

Let's start with the obvious: the doctors, nurses and support staffs in hospitals, clinics, nursing homes, and assisted living facilities who've been fighting a hero's fight for almost 10 months in harrowing conditions, often without essential equipment or necessary protections. More than 1,700 healthcare workers have already given their lives trying to save ours. Thank you.

Let's also thank the teachers, administrations, and school support staffs trying to develop plans and find a solution for which there is none. In-person, online, shut it, open it ... one step forward and three steps back. More than 100 public school employees, infected on the job, have died from COVID-19.

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Let's not forget the cooks, servers, and other restaurant staffers who let us enjoy a sit-down meal at risk to themselves. We'll gratefully welcome them back when the latest closures are lifted.

And the mail-sorters, handlers and carriers.

It wasn't their fault they had to deliver an avalanche of political mailers.

We can't forget parents, many of whom are back to work and cannot telecommute, now confronted with finding online proctors and tutors if their children are home or trying to find affordable, decent daycare. Parenting wasn't so easy before the pandemic; now layers of complications have been added.

Thank you, moms, dads, grandparents, and other caretakers.

And thanks to state, county, and local elected officials of both parties who based their pandemic decisions on the best available science and not partisan whims or ludicrous pronouncements they found on social media. Trying to stop this inexorable death march is not a sign of tyranny but of people trying to do the jobs they were sworn to do.

We should also thank checkout clerks, shelf-stockers, delivery people, warehouse employees, truckers, and all the rest keeping food and other necessities on the shelves.

Thank you to those who understand the mask mandate mostly protects others and who wear their face covering over both their nose and mouth. Pulling it down to cover just your chin is simply stupid — unless you breathe exclusively through your chin.

And thank you to the firefighters, paramedics, police officers, sheriff 's deputies, and all the rest of the first responders whose jobs now include, in addition to the normal hazards, dealing with lunatics on the far left and right, plus the potential of a nasty virus with every human interaction. The leading cause of onthe-job deaths for both law enforcement and the fire services this year is COVID-19.

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Thank you to secretaries of state, county clerks, and all election day poll workers and watchers who did a remarkable job despite real unpleasantness that included death threats. According to our own Department of Homeland Security, this was the most secure election in history. No widespread fraud or irregularities have been found, and for that we should thank the honorable public servants and many volunteers who did the work.

Thank you to small business owners trying desperately to stay afloat despite restrictions sinking their customer base. According to reporting in Fortune, 100,000 small businesses have already closed due to the

Not to forget the men and women of the military whose normally challenging job securing the country has been made even more difficult this year. And a special thank you to the men and women of Coast Guard Air Station Traverse City, still saving us from our own foolishness.

And thank you to all those people who have gone about their jobs and lives helping the rest of us go about ours. We truly appreciate your honor and dignity in a time when too many people exhibit none.

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 7

THANKSGIVING DAY SERVICE 10:25am on zoom

Join us for one hour of inspiration with:

A Thanksgiving Bible Lesson and an opportunity to express gratitude for God’s blessings. “This is the day which the Lord hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalms 118: 24

On Zoom: https://bit.ly/3lqNFDu

for more information email csclerktc@gmail.com First Church of Christ, Scientist - 330 Sixth Street, Traverse City

ARE YOU A FASCIST? TAKE THE QUIZ AND FIND OUT! opinion

BY Amy Kerr Hardin Fascists rarely know they are fascists. My dog doesn’t know he’s a dog, but he’s still a dog.

Few German Nazis recognized that they were fascists, and now millions of Americans are struggling to accept their true political identity.

Not all fascists are alike. There are multiple motivating factors to consider, though one trait they all share is a lack of intellectual curiosity.

Some are flagrantly fascist. They drive around in pickup trucks that are comically festooned with giant flags paying homage to their dear leader. They proudly wear their fascist uniforms: generally, red ballcaps and camo. They take pleasure in intimidating people with their firearms.

There’s also a very sizable contingent, apparently around 70 million Americans, who take a more nuanced approach to their fascism. They quietly do it at the voting booth, demonstrating that they are willing to turn a blind eye to the obvious in service of their latent fascism. This group allows the pickup truck crowd to do all the heavy lifting for them.

They’re lazy fascists, if you will.

There are also plenty of corporate fascists, who stand to gain power and wealth on the backs of the two former groups. But for now we are just exploring the fascist breeds of the common voter.

A few simple questions will guide you to understanding if you are indeed a fascist, and what kind, at that. Let’s get started!

Q: Are you OK with the president of the United States expressing full-throated racism, xenophobia, sexism, misogyny, science-denial, and toxic masculinity, along with his incessant hurling of childish insults on Twitter? Are you all right with the 22,000 falsehoods and misleading statements he’s made during his tenure? A “no” answer doesn’t get you off the fascism hook if you still voted for him in 2020; it just means you might be a lazy fascist.

FRANKFORT

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Q: Do you think putting kids in cages is a keen idea? Do you support Trump’s family separation polices directed at legally permitted asylum seekers? Are you unbothered by the over 600 detained children whose parents can’t be found?

Do you applaud the travel ban on predominately Muslim countries, even though it is actually homegrown white supremacists that are the real threat to our security? Did you recently vote for the man who did this? You might be a fascist.

Q: Speaking of white supremacists, do you like it that Trump praises and encourages armed thugs in illegal “militia” groups? Do you call these people “heroes” and “patriots?” That’s trademark fascism.

Q: Are you attracted to baseless conspiracy theories found in online propaganda platforms like Parler — an online venue where fellow fascists trade in utterly looney claims and ideas? Is Fox News the only media outlet you watch? That’s how the intellectually uncurious become fascists.

www.oliverart.org 8 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

Q: Do you hate immigrants and migrant workers because you were told they are coming to take your jobs? Perhaps you have a side hustle picking lettuce or swabbing potties at Motel 6. Or, you’re a fascist.

Q: Do you prefer your tax dollars to go to corporations so those corporations can engage

in stock buybacks and stash obscene wealth in offshore shelters? Are you cool with Trump’s corporate-tax giveaways blowing up the deficit?

Do you refer to taxpayer-funded programs that benefit average Americans as “free stuff?” Are you prepared to forfeit the money you’ve paid into Social Security and Medicare in lieu of welfare for billionaires? Do you feel that your tax dollars are better spent on fat cats than on education and infrastructure? If so, you’re probably a fascist.

Q: Have you decided that Trump’s blatant disregard for the institutions and principles of our democratic republic are not a dealbreaker? Do you pretend to support the Constitution while your president brazenly disregards our nation’s founding document?

Are you OK with his unwillingness to graciously accept defeat and help with a smooth transition? Definitely fascist.

Q: Do you view science and intellectualism with suspicion and derision, i.e., deny indisputable facts, especially about pandemic and climate change? Do you believe Trump when he claims anything he doesn’t like is a “hoax?” There are about a quarter-million dead Americans that, if they were still alive, would label you a fascist.

Q: Are you OK with the revolving door of clowns he surrounds himself with instead of qualified experts? That’s not fascism; it’s just stupidity.

FINAL QUESTION: Did you cast a 2020 vote for Trump knowing all of the above? Like it or not, you are a de facto fascist.

For the sake of journalistic integrity, I will close with a recap of Naomi Wolf ’s iconic definition of fascism found in her 2007 seminal work, “Ten Steps to Fascism.”

1. Invoke terrifying internal and external enemies. Trump actively vilifies people of color, here and abroad.

2. Create a gulag that operates outside the law.

Trump’s forced immigrant and asylum seekers into camps.

3. Develop a thug class. Proud Boys, among others.

4. Set up surveillance. Attorney General William Barr, among others.

5. Harass citizens groups. Black Lives Matter.

6. Engage in arbitrary detention and release.

Black Lives Matter.

7. Target key individuals. Trump, on Twitter.

8. Control the press. He tried, but ultimately failed.

9. Dissent equals treason. In Trump’s America, he’s the only authority.

10. Suspend the rule of law. Classic Trump maneuver.

Trump is a failed fascist dictator. But not for lack of trying.

Amy Kerr Hardin is a retired banker, regionally known artist, and public-policy wonk. You can hear and learn more about the state of Michigan politics on her podcast, www.MichiganPolicast.com.

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News You Can Use Engineers at Japan's Gifu University have developed a robotic device that re-creates the experience of holding another person's hand -- without the other person. "My Girlfriend in Walk" attaches to the user's forearm, and the metal hand is covered with a soft, gel material that simulates human skin, even allowing custom fragrances to be added to the artificial sweat. A heater provides warmth and a pressure sensor duplicates the strength of the wearer's grip, according to Oddity Central.

An accompanying smartphone app can emit sounds including footsteps, breathing and the sound of clothes rubbing against skin.

Schemes Kimberly Ragsdale's apparent plan to get free food at a Chick-Fil-A in Rockmart, Georgia, ended in her arrest on charges of impersonating a public officer on Nov. 5.

According to police, Ragsdale, 47, of Dallas, had repeatedly visited the restaurant, telling workers she was an FBI agent and threatening to arrest them if they didn't serve her a complimentary meal. Ragsdale continued her charade, the Associated Press reported, telling arresting officers her credentials were electronic and talking "into her shirt like she was talking into a radio," the arrest report noted. Rockmart Police Chief Randy Turner said in a statement to news outlets, "You will not hear a real officer demand a meal anywhere."

Two men have been arrested on suspicion of conning an unnamed doctor in the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh into paying $41,600 for an "Aladdin's lamp" that the sellers promised would bring him "wealth, health and good fortune." The two con artists even conspired to conjure a genie from the lamp, which turned out to be one of the men, to convince the doctor of its authenticity, the BBC reported.

According to local police, the con men had duped other families in the same way.

Awesome!

Mayor Yutaka Umeda of the Japanese town of Yamato was puzzled when his name started trending on social media after the U.S. presidential election, but he is now hoping his newfound fame will help him "promote the town," United Press International reported.

The extra attention online came because the Chinese kanji characters used to spell Umeda's name can also be pronounced "Jo Baiden" -- strikingly similar to U.S. President-elect Joe Biden. "Although there are differences in the positions of a U.S. presidential candidate and the mayor of Yamato ... our passion is the same," Umeda said.

A couple hiking in Ingersheim in northeastern France in September came across a tiny aluminum capsule that turned out to contain a message in German dropped by a carrier pigeon 110 years ago, CNN reported.

Curator Dominique Jardy at the nearby Linge Memorial museum, dedicated to a battle between French and German forces in 1915, determined the message was sent from one German officer to another, detailing military exercises taking place in the area. The find, Jardy said, "is really very, very, very rare," and the message will go on display at the museum.

Bright Ideas In September, police in Ceske Budejovice in the Czech Republic, where a 9 p.m. curfew has been imposed in response to the COVID-19 pandemic, came upon a man

pulling a toy plush dog behind him late at night in the town's center, Idnes.cz reported.

"I'm walking a dog here. I'm not doing anything illegal here," the man told officers.

Walking a dog is permitted after curfew, but the police gave him a warning and sent him and his "pet" on their way.

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People With Issues Police in Fruitland Park, Florida, arrested Ronni Leigh Kimberlin of Leesburg on Oct. 31 on charges of theft and disturbing a grave after she allegedly repeatedly removed items left at her ex-husband's grave by his fiancee.

The grieving fiancee first complained to police in late September, records show, saying items missing from the grave included a pair of $250 sunglasses, hanging LED lights, hanging planters, artificial flowers, a ring and assorted other items, all valued at more than $400.

Kimberlin denied involvement, WKMG reported, but the arrest affidavit noted an ex-roommate came forward saying she was with Kimberlin when she stole the items, and police found some of the missing planters at Kimberlin's brother's home.

Recent Alarming Headlines Police in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, continue to investigate two explosive incidents in area port-a-potties, the Pittsburgh PostGazette reported. No one was injured in either explosion, the first of which occurred Nov. 5 in Lawrenceville and was strong enough to blow apart the toilet and damage a nearby home, police said. The second came on Nov. 10 in East Allegheny. Pittsburgh's Bomb Squad and Crime Unit is working to determine what types of explosives were used and whether the events are related.

Government in Action Indonesia has the highest death toll from COVID-19 in Southeast Asia, and officials there are getting creative with punishments in addition to fines for not complying with mask laws. Metro News reported on Nov. 11 that regional governments are forcing scofflaws to do pushups, pull weeds, clean riverbeds and dig graves for coronavirus victims.

Coffeeshop owner Evani Jesselyn of Jakarta said she was given a choice of paying a fine or cleaning public toilets after she was caught not wearing a mask in her car.

Wrong Place, Wrong Time Motorists in Woodbury County, Iowa, started alerting State Conservation Officer Steve Griebel on Nov. 9 that hundreds of ducks had been killed after mistaking wet roads for wetlands, KCRG reported. The ducks, including bluebills, mallards, buffleheads and teal, were migrating south and landed on the wet pavement in parking lots and on highways, where the next day Griebel said he counted more than 200 that had been hit by unwitting drivers.

The Entrepreneurial Spirit In China's Lishui City, Zhejiang Province, 27-year-old Luo Qingjun has found his calling as a "bad uncle" for hire by parents wanting him to scare their children into obedience, Oddity Central reported. Luo creates a short custom video, using the child's name and making scary faces while threatening them to behave. "If you don't do your homework, don't eat and don't go to sleep, I will take you away!"

Luo warns on one video. One happy customer posted, "My 3-year-old son was scared at first sight, and he was immediately obedient."

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LELAND NOIR The story of how one of the world’s most popular true crime podcasts — “Hollywood and Crime” — was invented and produced in Leelanau County.

By Patrick Sullivan Rebecca Reynolds and Jim Carpenter didn’t listen much to podcasts when, four years ago, they decided to use their own money to produce one.

The Leland couple knew a lot about film, television, and theater — they’ve produced plays, television shows, and movies, including 2013’s “The Girl on the Train” (not to be confused with the 2016 film of the same name that’s based on the popular book by Paula Hawkins and starring Emily Blunt). The 2013 film, written by their longtime writing and producing partner Larry Bland, was an official selection at the Traverse City Film Festival that year.

Perhaps it was Reynolds and Carpenter’s unfamiliarity with the then-nascent artform of podcasting that enabled them to reinvent the format. The couple launched a podcast franchise called “Hollywood and Crime,” which was quickly picked up by the Wondery podcast network; their first series, “The Black Dahlia Serial Killers,” is often credited with inventing the historical true-crime format that other podcasts emulate to this day: a blend of exhaustive historical research and dramatic reenactments tied together with suspenseful narration.

When “The Black Dahlia Serial Killers” was released in 2017, it debuted at No. 1 on the iTunes podcast charts. Since then, two more series the couple produce —“Young Charlie” and “The Wonderland Murders” — have done the same.

Reynolds and Carpenter hope the same for their next podcast venture under their

"Hollywood and Crime" banner: “Death of a Starlet,” which will debut on Wondery Plus Nov. 24 and will be available to nonsubscribers beginning Dec. 8.

Northern Express chatted with the couple from their home in Leland, where they’ve built their podcast empire and spent significantly more time than usual, thanks to the pandemic.

Northern Express: How did you get into podcast production?

Carpenter: And your timing is really good because we’re launching our new series this month. It’s called “Death of a Starlet.”

Express: Tell me about the new podcast.

Reynolds: This will be a surprise to you: 95 percent of our work, we’ve always done while we’re here in Leland. What we did before was, we would go out to Hollywood to record — like I mentioned with “The Black Dahlia Serial Killers” — because we use Screen

What you should know about this whole thing — I had never listened to a podcast, and Jim had listened to Marc Maron and some Terry Gross. But we had this idea, this “Hollywood and Crime” idea, that was sort of like “Law and Order.”

You know, it just had a ring to the title.

Rebecca Reynolds: We started recording our first series for Wondery in Hollywood and West Hollywood the day after the 2016 election. And it was very traumatic. I mean, it was great to have that gig, and we were out there, and we were staying at a hotel, and we were gathered with all of our friends because we’ve lived and worked out there before. So, we were all gathered, and then we had to be in the studio the next morning.

So, we will never forget the day after the 2016 election. “The Black Dahlia Serial Killers” dropped in 2017.

Express: And you’ve been at it ever since.

10 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

Actors Guild actors and because it was more like a 1940s radio drama. But we can do most of it here.

In fact, we hired a local writer for “Death of a Starlet.” You probably will recognize her name, Marty Link. She wrote our newest series. We’re very excited about that. It was wonderful working with her. We didn’t know her before. I had attended one of her workshops at the Leland Library just because I was interested in her investigative reporting. And we were able to get her interested. And she was interested in the world of podcasting because, as you said, it’s the going thing right now.

Express: What’s the new series about?

Reynolds: It’s about the death of Dorothy Stratton in 1980. There have been a couple of films about it. She was just a beautiful young girl from Canada who was noticed by Playboy, and she became a centerfold, and she became the Playmate of the Year in 1980. And she fell in love with film director Peter Bogdanovich, and he was shooting a movie with her. Unfortunately, she was married to a really wacko guy. And — do you want the spoiler alert?

Express: I think I remember this story now.

Reynolds: She was just young and beautiful and starting to come into her own, and she just would not see the worst in anyone — especially her husband, who had a lot of issues. Even when she was going over there to ask him for divorce, everybody said, “No, you mustn’t go over there. You know him. He’s got a temper.” But she felt compelled to do it herself, to go talk to him. And that was her big mistake. So that’s what it’s about.

Express: How involved are you in the production of a podcast like this? What is your role?

Reynolds: Well, we are the creators of the “Hollywood and Crime” series, and we’re the producers of the shows. A producer is more a combo person — you know, you don't really have directors [in podcasts]. If you listen to “The Dating Game Killer” [a six-part series about one of America’s most prolific serial

killers], in the credits, it says written and directed

by Larry Brand and produced by us, with our host, Tracy Patton. Larry Brand was our late writing partner, writer/directing partner. He died in 2019. He was my longtime writing partner since our first gig back in the ’80s.

Express: I’m sorry to hear about your loss.

How was it that you three went from making films together to making podcasts?

Reynolds: What you should know about this whole thing — I had never listened to a podcast, and Jim had listened to Marc Maron and some Terry Gross. But we had this idea, this “Hollywood and Crime” idea, that was sort of like “Law and Order.” You know, it just had a ring to the title. We originally pitched it as a TV show to the ID channel.

We know people there, and they essentially said, “We’re more about ‘who done it’ rather than ‘why done it.’” And the ‘why done it’ was the part that interested us. Like with "The Black Dahlia": You may know the Black Dahlia [the nickname given to victim Elizabeth Short, whose graphic 1947 murder in Los Angeles gave rise to a media frenzy and years of public speculation yet remains unsolved]. But you don’t know that during the same period of time, 12 other women were also murdered and mutilated, because the Black Dahlia got all the press. So, we just knew that was a good, rich premise. We decided to just produce the pilot on our own.

Express: And you then you found yourselves making a podcast before you really knew what a podcast was.

Reynolds: We hired Screen Actors Guild actors because I’m Screen Actors Guild, and we’re union. And, you know, we put our money where our mouths were. And then our host had just met Hernan Lopez, [a former Fox television executive who founded and is the CEO of Wondery.] And he listened to it, and he bought it. I mean, so this was one of those amazing flukes, you know? The timing was just right, and all of a sudden, we had a podcast.

Express: Have podcasts taken over your focus?

Reynolds: They’ve taken over our focus for a couple of reasons. Ninety-five percent of our time we can be here [in northern Michigan].

We’re not having to raise money to produce a film. And then, of course, by bringing Larry Brand on to write and direct, our team was all gainfully employed. And other opportunities were on the horizon. But that took the wind out of our sails when he died suddenly. And so, we’ve just been happy to continue as we are right now. I don't know what we might want to do next.

Express: Since you started “Hollywood and Crime,” I think podcasting has kind of come of age, and it’s become much more mainstream and something that a much wider segment of the public is aware of and is open to consuming as entertainment. Where do you see podcasts going in the future?

Reynolds: Wondery has become a powerhouse company, and “The Black Dalia Serial Killers” was their first No. 1 show, but they have grown exponentially.

The executives from Wondery came from television, and now they’re feeding into television with “Dirty John” or “Dr. Death.”

Podcasts are a breeding ground or a training camp for stories that could become television.

It certainly is a less expensive way to find out if something is working or not. The other thing I think is fascinating about podcasting is we were there first original series on Wondery, and there weren’t a whole lot of podcasts out. As you know, now they’re all over the place, and they’re in every shape. There are people doing them out of their basement, in

the garage. [“Dirty John” and “Dr. Death” are investigations into the medical malpractice investigations and true crime story of conman John Meehan that began as podcasts and went on to be developed into TV shows. "Dirty John" was also a six-part series that appeared in and was produced in partnership with The Los Angeles Times newspaper. —Ed.]

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Express: How did you guys end up living in Leland?

Carpenter: As a kid, I came up here because my grandparents had a cottage in Leland. So, at a certain point, we [Reynolds and I] were both in Kentucky. And I realized we can live anywhere to do what we’re doing. And that’s what got us up here. We bought our place in ’94.

Reynolds: I had been living in L.A., and I was worried that my mother was getting old, and I moved back to Kentucky, which is my home state. She lived 18 years longer after I moved back there. And I was working from there, with Larry, mainly. And after we had bought our own place here in ’94, we moved here full-time in ’98. It was like, “Well, that was easy.” Because every place I've lived is at least two flights from any place I’ve worked.

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Express: Outside of the Wondery network, do you each have a favorite podcast?

Carpenter: Oh, that’s a good question.

I still enjoy listening to Mark Maron. He’s gotten a little more mainstream than when I first started listening to him. And, I still enjoy listening to Terry Gross, because we rarely are around to get her live at noon on NPR. Another one that we discovered — we’ve been watching reruns of “The West Wing” on television — and there’s a new podcast out, “The West Wing Weekly” podcast. It goes through episode by episode, so that’s kind of fun to follow along with while we’re watching the reruns.

Reynolds: Yeah, because I have to say, we don’t have television. We just have Apple TV. So, with going through the election and the last debate and everything, in order to survive, we had to go to the “The West Wing” reruns, only to find out that we weren’t alone. One of our friends in Leland, they were going through it for the sixth time. And that's a bit excessive, but …

Express: You were seeking an alternate reality?

Reynolds: Exactly.

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Carpenter: Survival.

Reynolds: I like the podcast “You Must Remember This.” Karina Longworth is just great. But I have to be honest: I am a reader, not a listener. So like I said, I hadn’t listened to a podcast, but I did listen to hers, because I wanted to go for some of the really good ones in our genre.

Express: Is there anything else you’d like to add about podcasting? Any final thoughts?

Reynolds: I think it’s a wide-open field, which is encouraging. You know, when I started making movies and TV, the price-line was high. I mean, an indie film, you couldn’t buy the film stock for less than $50,000, and now you can make three films for that. But podcasting is the easy ballgame to get into.

It’s just finding your audience, finding some sponsors and — like anything else — believing in your idea. And I think what happened with us is we believe so much in “Hollywood and Crime.” We hardly ever put our own money into anything. And this was the one that was so good, we decided, “We’re putting our own money in this.” We didn’t try to raise any money. And, you know, we got into a world that’s been on the rise ever since.

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 11

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A Ride And A Smile With Dan Marsh Dan and Pam Marsh are true believers, having gone from skeptical observers to trial customers to “owning the company.” And now the proprietors of Pedego of Traverse City are encouraging people of all ages to stop in for a free test ride on any electric bike. They’re convinced you’ll experience a bike ride like you’ve never had before.

1 > You two own Red Ginger in Traverse City. I just didn’t visualize your next venture to be an electric bike shop.

Neither did we! But two years ago we were up at Bay Harbor for a convention. One afternoon everyone went golfing, but Pam and I decided to try these Pedego electric bikes for rent instead. We weren’t even aware of the company. They were so cool. So a year later we started shopping around to buy a couple, and I test rode every electric bike for sale in Traverse City, and I just didn’t have the same experience. And as soon as we eventually got on a Pedego again, I knew that’s what I wanted. We bought two.

6 > Didn’t meeting the founder of the company sort of push you over the edge?

Right. Don DiConstanzo comes from an automotive background. On our first visit to the company, we went out to dinner with Don and his wife, and he told a story about if he gets a call from a dealer about an upset customer, he tells them, “you better make sure you take care of them, because if they get ahold of me, they’re getting a free bike!” Then we spent a few days just talking to other dealers and it became a no-brainer. These things were made for northern Michigan!

2 > I have bikes in my garage, and I just don’t use them. Do you use your Pedegos?

Exactly! As a kid and in college I used a bike, but not much since then. We also had a couple of 15-20-yearold pedal bikes that didn’t get used. But once we bought these, we use the heck out of them. We take them camping with us. We ride them on weekends out to Suttons Bay. It’s an entirely new experience!

4 > So how do they work?

Most e-bikes out there are Class 1 or 3, which give you a boost only when you’re pedaling, which is great, but it can be hard from a complete stop for some people. That’s a bigger deal as you age. Most Pedego models are Class 2, which means they have three ways of riding: the old fashion pedal, five levels of pedal assist, and then a throttle. And that throttle is a game changer, or it certainly was for me.

5 > How did you go from owning two bikes to opening a store?

We researched the company, and honestly it reminded Pam and me a lot of Saturn, the car company. It’s just built totally around customer service. Their value system just made sense.

9 > What do you say to someone who’s never been on an electric bike and isn’t sure or is even intimidated?

Listen, e-bikes are not for everybody. Our classic customer is maybe a couple; we get a lot where one is an avid cyclist, but the spouse is not. They want to buy at least one to keep up with their husband or wife so they can do things together. We’ve sold a lot of bikes to older folks, baby boomers and older. It’s fun to get folks who haven’t been on a bike in decades on one. They’re a little trepidatious at first, but you get them on it to ride around for an hour or two and they return to the store literally smiling. They sell themselves.

10 > Do people use these bikes for commuting?

They do. We just sold two to our own employees who use it as their main source of transportation.

We use them to cross town in the summer; with traffic, it’s quicker than driving. And some customers have ordered studded tires to use them in the winter, too.

3 > How so?

They just make biking a thrill. They completely solve hills and headwinds. Call me lazy, but I don’t like to ride up hills. Pedego just flattens them out. We love to ride up the Leelanau Trail, and we’ll pedal vigorously on the way there for a workout. Then we’ll go to dinner, have a few drinks, and if I’m not feeling it, I just put on pedal assist or flip the throttle and go. It’s pretty dreamy.

good luck getting it serviced. We now have a new model for just $1,495. And these all come with a complete warranty and service. Any concerns, just come to us -- or we’ll come to you!

11 > How does the math add-up? Is there savings?

7 > There are a lot of e-bikes out there. What else sets Pedego apart?

Yes. You can spend as much as $8,000-$12,000 on an electric bike. But I like to call Pedego the Chevrolet of electric bikes. The average price is around $3,000. They’re one of the two or three oldest American-based electric bike companies, and the only way to buy one is from a dealer. They have by far the best warranty in the business -including the battery -- which is unheard of. And they have 20 different models, including mountain bikes, tandems, everything.

Well, think about it. You don’t have to insure it. The energy costs are about 10 cents from a completely discharged battery to fully charged. There are no parking fees. And you know what? You’ll actually use it. It’s not just a cool novelty.

12 > Do the batteries last long enough for a nice, long cruise?

Absolutely. Thanks to companies like Tesla who have invested billions into battery technology, a Pedego uses a lightweight lithium ion battery with incredible range.

Each model has battery options, but unless you’re a really high-mileage biker, you won’t have an issue. They have up to an 80-mile range.

8 > $3,000 sure can feel like a lot of money for a bike.

13 > Like so many other people, I’ve seen them, but I’ve never actually been on one.

And we’re not at all scared to talk about prices.

You can spend $800 at WalMart or even $10,000 on a traditional bike you’ll never use. Or you can even go online and find an electric bike for under $2,000, but you’ll have to put it together, and

I’d be delighted to put you on a bike with no obligation. In fact, I insist upon it with everyone.

And we’ve sold bikes to people all over northern Michigan and even farther away. Just stop in. I guarantee a Pedego will make you smile!

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 13

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2020

Holiday Gift Guide

Gift Guide By Anna Faller

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FOR THAT ESSENTIAL SOMEONE

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Hot Chocolate Candle

Grappling for last-minute gift ideas for those people who have made it possible for you to survive this last year with your sanity (OK — most of your sanity) intact? Think: your postal worker, your UPS guy, your daughter’s teacher, the cashier at your local market. Cash might be king, but a classic cocoa-scented candle from the family-owned West Michigan Candle Company is far memorable and personal. Hand-poured and consciously crafted in the little town of Luther, these local lights delight the senses and support small business. That’s what we call a winter win. $17.99 at westmichigancandleco.com; free shipping on all orders over $25.

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Smart Aleck Journals

Featuring a faux-leather cover and flashy, gold block lettering, these supersassy journals are 120 pages of pure possibility for any essential worker looking to unload. Easy to stash in a backpack, waitress’ smock pocket, or clinician’s coat, Smart Aleck Journals offers stressed folks a fun way to document their days and creatively express themselves after the mask comes off. $14 at The Secret Garden in Empire. (231) 326-5428, www. secretgardenempire.com.

16 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

3

Cup of Cookies

Are you aware it’s absolutely OK to surprise the sweet people in your life with cookies … without pulling a marathon cooking-baking weekend?

It’s true. The elves at Tom’s Mom’s Cookies in Harbor Springs will not only do the hard work for you but also pack up a dozen of their mini scratch-made cookies in a mug, so all you have to do is count your sweet people (and your blessings), then order one cup o’ cookies for each. Playing Santa has never been so easy. $20 per cup of cookies. Call (231) 526-6606 to order.

4

Precious Metal

Some people say it with flowers, but if you have something truly important to say, we suggest you say it with something that lasts — like this beautiful sterling silver bracelet and charm crafted by Bay Harbor jewelry designer Tina Rothwell and ready to personalize.

Price varies based on message. To order, call or direct message (via Instagram or Facebook) Shed Fine Goods in Petoskey: (231) 753-2045, shedfinegoods.com

5

Snuggle Puppy

Don’t dare leave your most essential friend off your list this holiday. For the pup or cat who talked (cuddled?) you off the ledge a dozen times in this last year, reward him with a cozy little stress buster of his own: the Snuggle Puppy, a calming toy that features a “real-feel” heartbeat and a 24-hour heating pack to boot.

Variety of colors available. $39.95 at Pets Naturally in Traverse City. (231) 9441944, www.petsnaturallytc.com 6

Superfeet

You know how the least sexy gift you give is often the most appreciated?

Here’s one we suggest for your favorite hard-working waitress, nurse, cop, teacher, grocery store clerk, stylist, or anyone on their feet all day. So what you don’t know their shoe size? Ask or — slightly less creepy — just give them a $50 gift certificate to Golden Shoes with instructions to purchase Superfeet insoles, professional grade orthotic support inserts (hey, we warned you this one wouldn’t be sexy), which the formerly achy feet and backs among our staff love. Golden Shoes, (231) 947-6924, www.goldenshoestc.com

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2020

Holiday Gift Guide

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FOR HER

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Ugear Dynameter

Chances are good the puzzle-lover on your list has completed dozens of one-dimensional challenges in lo, these many socially distanced months. In honor of the coming new year, ship her a brain-bender she hasn’t tackled. This all-natural wood 3D puzzle requires no glue or cutting (its 48 pieces come ready for assembly) but in an estimated two hours, she’ll have created a tabletop gear that transforms air pressure into motion. More and less complex sets, each targeted for age 14+, are ready for shipping. Dynameter, $24.98, at the The Katydid in Petoskey. (231) 758-1030, www.thekatydid.com

2

Leelanau Trading Co. Medium Leather Tote

You can take the lady out of Leelanau, but you can’t ever take Leelanau out of the lady. Handcrafted in northern Michigan, using only top-grain leather, the Leelanau Trading Co. leather tote expertly combines simple and sumptuous. A go-to for travel-lovers, this sturdy satchel holds all your essentials, from beach supplies to knitting needles.

Tested for up to two lifetimes of use, this tote is the gift that keeps on giving! $256 at Wool & Honey in Cedar. (231) 2282800, woolandhoney.com

3

Reversible Fur Slippers

5

The gift wrap for these slippers ought to come with a warning: Once a gal puts them on, they’re probably not coming off until summer. Sumptuous, guilt-free alpaca fur (yes, it’s a thing) from cuff to toe, these togs are artfully crafted to be reversible, so you she decide if she wants to cuddle up like a bear or walk on a cloud. $99, Crystal Lake Alpaca Farm and Boutique in Frankfort. www. crystallakealpacaboutique.com

4

Great Lakes State of Mind Soap Sample Pack

Since we won’t see the sun for another several months, why not bring a little summer to your favorite lady this winter?

Including five handmade half-bars and one bath accessory, this Great Lakesthemed sampler set from the mindful makers at Wildflower Soapworks will keep her squeaky clean and walking on sunshine long after the snow melts! $25.00 at Wildflower Soapworks in Elk Rapids. (231) 264-8000, www. wildflowersoapworks.com

Artisan Village Art Class

Is the stay-at-home order stifling her creative energy? Ours, too. For a much needed change of socially distancedscene, give her the opportunity to try an art class at the Au Sable Artisan Village. Featuring expert-lead workshops ranging from watercolor to wine-glass painting to an intro to precious metal clay (shown here), the Artisan Village has something for every age and ability level. $15.00–$75.00 (indicates currently-listed classes; schedule is frequently updated) at AuSable Artisan Village in Grayling. (989) 745-6096, www.artisanvillage.org 6

Leland Blue (Pioneer Swirl) Pendant

Sunbeams of Promise is positively teeming with accessories handmade in Frankfort. For the Northern native living here or afar, the Pioneer Swirl pendant, featuring a 10mm Leland Blue stone set in sterling silver is a surefire score that’ll forever remind her of home. $99 at Sunbeams of Promise in Frankfort. www.sunbeamsofpromise.com

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 19

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2020

Holiday Gift Guide 2

1

3

4

5

6

FOR KIDS

1

Sega Homestar Flux Home Planetarium

Turn your kid’s bedroom into a stunning night sky with the Sega Homestar Flux Planetarium. The most advanced model available, the Sega Flux features a black satin finish and is crafted with the brightest LED lightbulbs to date, keeping her view of the night’s constellations clear as day. A great excuse to snuggle in together under the stars. Sweet dreams, heavenly star-hunters. $199.99 at Enerdyne in Suttons Bay. (231) 2716033, enerdynet.com

3

Magnetic Build It

Whether you’re prepping for a holiday trip or just looking to limit screentime, these magnetic “build it” sets will keep wee ones entertained for hours on end.

Featuring an array of kid-friendly themes, these self-contained tins include three sheets of mix-and-match magnets and two professionally illustrated background frames. From the car to the couch, these sturdy sets are the ultimate in portable play. $16.99 at 52 Up North Weekends in Boyne City. (231) 459-4625, www.52upnorthweekends.com

5

6 2

Mini Garden

Support your child’s inner farmer — and his slightly more obvious mad scientist bent — with a “no muss, no fuss” contained mini-garden. A modern take on the classic Chia pet, this wee world where plants reign supreme is ready to get your child’s imagination growing. Fully customizable and available in three miniature-sized sets. $9.99 at Toy Town of Cadillac. (231) 775-8697, www.toytownonline.com

22 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

4

Fantasy Play

Hear ye, hear ye! The lords and ladies at Enchanted Knights are adding members to their magical court — and they’ve chosen your child! Up the imaginative ante this holiday with a beguiling Knight or Fantasy bundle (one part of a multi-piece Fairy bundle shown here), then sit back and let the spell take over! With components ranging from crafts to costume, these sets are sure to dazzle small sovereigns of all ages. $20.00–40.00 at Enchanted Knights in Mackinaw City. (231) 436-4059, www. enchantedknights.com

Animal “Cupcakes”

Add a little whimsy to the washroom with a lovable animal loofah. Appropriate for bathing beauties tall to small, these charming animal cupcakes encompass a scrubbie and 6-ounce soap bar and are topped with a smiling animal sponge.

Available in a handful of fun varieties and scented with lavender essential oil, these cupcakes are a true and natural bath-time treat. $15.00 at Bay Lavender Trading Co. in Glen Arbor. (231) 3342582, www.baylavender.com

Wall Scrabble

A gift for kids that the whole family can enjoy, this grown-up-sized game of Scrabble, which hangs on the wall, is a whopping 38-by-27-inches in size, making that seven-letter stretch even more satisfying … and the debate about what to put on the family room wall moot. $119.95 at The Rocking Horse Toy Company in Petoskey. (231) 347-0306, www.rockinghorsetoycompany.com

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 23

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2020

Holiday Gift Guide

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5

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FOR HIM

1

CRO Icons Stainless Steel Tervis Tumbler

For the modern-day mountain man, the gift of mobility is always a good bet. This Tervis tumbler from Coastal lets your globe-trotter take the trails, and all with his favorite beverage in tow. A whopping 20 ounces, this sturdy, stainless tumbler’s got you covered, from the forest to the family room. $29.95, at Coastal (www.crystalriveroutfitters.com/ shopping), in Glen Arbor.

2

3

Benchmade Mini Pocket Knife

5

Vuori Ponto Performance Pant

6

For the man who likes to be ready for anything, a multi-purpose pocket knife always fits the bill. A modern take on classic cutlery, Benchmade’s mini pocket knives are designed to last. Featuring inventive designs and high-quality materials, these compact carvers are the ultimate device for all things DIY. $99.95– $120.95.

Coffman Pro Hardware & Camp Supply, Mackinaw City. (231) 436-5650, www. coffmancaseknives.com

Learn to Curl Class

Fit for the smooth-talker on your list, a “Learn to Curl” class, courtesy of the Leelanau Curling Club, will set his confidence in stone — the curling stone, that is. What better way to pass the holiday shutdown than to gift your man the opportunity to look forward to the day he and a group of up to seven buddies can head out to Broomstack Kitchen and Taproom in Maple City for some stepby-step curling instruction, and then top off the trip with a pizza and some pints!

Santa ain’t got nothing on you. The class is $22.00 for individuals, 160.00 for groups of eight. Call or email Broomstack to arrange: curling@eatdrinkcurl.com, (231) 226-2121.

4

Don’t let the name fool you — the only “performing” he’ll want to do in these buttery-soft bottoms is set the stage for a cozy night in — but if he’s the ambitious sort, he’ll be ready to segue into a workout at a moment’s notice. Combining the lightweight fabric of loungewear with the straight leg of a jogger, these Vuori pants from The Outfitter transition effortlessly from sweat session to snooze and everything in between.

After all, is there ever an inappropriate time for sweatpants? These days, we think not. $84.00, The Outfitter of Harbor Springs. (231) 526-2621, www. outfitterharborsprings.com.

Homebrew Beer Kit

Lockdown looks a little different on everyone. Some see it as an opportunity to let off some steam; others to take advantage of honing a new hobby. But when you can brew beer at home, you don’t have to choose! For the budding brewmaster in your life, UBrew Home Supply is brimming with everything from malt to machinery. Ingredients are available á la carte for the seasoned professional, or he can pick out a starter kit to make his first batch! $40–$60, UBrew Home Supply in Traverse City.

(231) 943-2016, ubrewtc.com

Cigar Glass

Corkcicle calls this glass “a smoke of genius,” and we have to think they’re not just blowing smoke. Part rocks glass, part cigar rest, it allows your gentleman to hold two of his favorite things in one hand while leaving the other free for a hand of cards, a caress of your cheek or, well … maybe more likely the remote control. Whatever — it’s the holidays. Let him have his moment. $24.95 at Nifty Things in Traverse City. (231) 929-9665, www.niftythingsonline.com

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 25

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 27

All photos courtesy of CTAC

This Season’s Holiday Shows Will the curtain rise anywhere?

By Ross Boissoneau The show must go on — except when a pandemic changes things.

That more or less describes the holiday season in 2020. The usual cornucopia of concerts, plays, showcases, and multiple “Nutcracker” performances around the region has been whittled to a precious few this year. Most — but not all — will be virtual, as the threat of COVID-19 and accompanying quarantining of much of society puts a new and decidedly un-Christmas-like spin on the season.

First, what won’t be happening: You can pretty much cross those school Christmas concerts off your to-do list. None of the public or private schools Northern Express contacted had anything scheduled for this year, no doubt a disappointment for parents and the rest of the audiences eager to watch their community’s kids sing and play their holiday hearts out.

NEW NUTCRACKER FOR STAGE There is usually a plethora of performances of Tchaikovsky’s “The Nutcracker.” That number, too, has been pared down this year, but maybe not to zero: At Interlochen Arts Academy, Director of Dance Joseph Morrissey has reimagined the classic Christmastime ballet to showcase the dancers sans physical contact with their partners. He said it was an opportunity to think outside the traditional ballet box.

“A lot of people said, ‘How are you going to do that? It’s impossible.’” Instead, Morrissey took it as a challenge. “As long as it is well structured, [it can] make a wonderful holiday production. It’s a fantastic score.”

Morrissey said the opportunity to showcase the students dancing in a different way and with different choreography, all without touching one another, was a challenge, but one he welcomed. Creative

props, such as lengths of silk, will enable aspects of partnering while maintaining social distance.

The performers will be attired in more than 100 exquisitely detailed costumes, some of which were newly handcrafted for this production in Kyiv, Ukraine. The resulting show also includes fewer onstage props, instead utilizing more lighting and projection effects. “It’s not a COVID version; it’s just a new version,” Morrissey said.

As to the performance, the recent shutdown orders have potentially impacted it. The Academy had planned a Dec. 12 live show for an audience of Interlochen staff and students only (all of whom are regularly tested and/or have their temperatures taken daily) and streamed at the same time. Now, the most recent rehearsal was filmed for possible streaming, depending on where things stand by that date.

NEW NUTCRACKER ON SCREEN Another city, another reimagined performance: On Dec. 19, Crooked Tree Center for the Arts is presenting its new “Nutcracker” onscreen at the Great Lakes Center for the Arts. It begins with Clara and her family shopping in downtown Petoskey when and her brother, Fritz, comes upon a store with beautiful dolls inside. One of the dolls comes to life to entertain them, and the shopkeeper presents Clara with an antique nutcracker doll.

After fighting with Fritz because he broke the doll, Clara makes her way to the Petoskey breakwall, where she disappears into a magical world and is met by her cherished nutcracker doll transformed into human form. Further dancing adventures take place in the Petoskey area.

Heather Raue, the artistic director of the Crooked Tree Arts Center School of Ballet, said she began planning for the new version this summer. “I thought, let’s do an Up

28 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

North screen dance. It’s the same storyline, set in 2020, with 50 percent site-specific,” she said. The other half was filmed with individual dancers performing in front of a green screen, then the two pieces were edited together. With the potential for restrictions precluding the planned Dec. 19 showing, Raue said the show will also be available as a ticketed streaming event as well.

A CHRISTMAS COLLAGE Both Interlochen and Crooked Tree offer other holiday festivities. The former includes the annual "Sounds of the Season,” which this year will include performances by students and faculty from all of the academy’s artistic disciplines: creative writing, dance, film and new media, interdisciplinary arts, music, theatre, and visual arts. The seasonal selections will be individually recorded and woven together into what Interlochen has dubbed “a lighthearted, 45-minute holiday postcard.” It will be streamed at 7:30pm Dec. 15 at live.interlochen.org and on Facebook.

SUGAR PLUM FAIRY TEA Crooked Tree’s Sugar Plum Fairy Tea will be a combination live and virtual event.

Each reservation includes a custom Sugar Plum Fairy Tea kit created by the CTAC school of ballet dancers, with a Nutcracker photo book, china teacup, tea, pink lemonade, yummy treats, and decorated pointe shoes made by the dancers, as well as a personal link to the virtual tea 1pm– 3pm Dec. 13. Attendees can also meet the principal dancers and enjoy arts and crafts in person 1pm–3pm Dec. 12 at CTAC in Petoskey. (For more information on any these presentations, go to www.interlochen. org and www.crookedtree.org respectively.)

NEW HOPE CHRISTMAS JOURNEY So is that it? Not at all. New Hope Community Church in Acme will again

present “The Christmas Journey,” its annual showcase of the story of Christmas, from creation to Bethlehem and beyond.

Pastor Rick Stewart said there will be some differences this year, but as the bulk of the event is held outdoors, much will be unchanged. “There were only two scenes inside in the lobby, and we may put that outside as well,” he said.

The walking tour through the woods behind the church features numerous actors, musical vignettes and live animals. “We’ve got the ark on reserve,” Stewart said with a

laugh. It is scheduled to be performed from 5:30 to 7:30pm Dec. 4–6 and Dec. 11–13, which should allow for plenty of distancing between small groups. Admittance is free.

BOLSHOI “NUTCRACKER” REBROADCAST One more “Nutcracker,” this one at Ramsdell Regional Center for the Arts in Manistee. On Dec. 26 at 2pm and 7pm and Dec. 27 at 2pm, it will show a rebroadcast of the Bolshoi Ballet’s 2018 performance.

Audience size is limited to 50 people for each of the shows. For ticket information, go to RamsdellTheatre.org.

VIRTUAL MESSIAH SING At Central United Methodist Church in downtown Traverse City, the annual Messiah Sing has gone virtual, with an encore performance of last year's Messiah Sing featuring soloists Laura Osgood Brown, John Bragle, and Keith Brown, with Northwestern Michigan College’s Grand Traverse Chorale and the CUMC Chamber Orchestra under the baton of Jeffrey Cobb. Images from the past 40 years of CUMC's Messiah Sing will also be part of the encore performance, which can be seen on Central United Methodist Church’s Facebook page at 4pm Dec. 6.

The church will also stream an encore performance of last year's Jazz Christmas with the Trillium Quartet, Voices 4, Sashay, Central’s Christmas Combo, soloists Amy WallaceCork, and Brenna McGurn, and accompanists Susan Day and Candice Wallace. Viewers will be able to donate to Central Methodist’s Homeless Outreach Program during the Dec. 13 broadcast at 4pm.

POLAR EXPRESS ON SCREEN And one last hurrah for the holiday season. Great Lakes Center for the Arts

will present The Polar Express at 2pm Dec. 27 (rescheduled from Dec. 13). Based on the award-winning children’s book, the film tells the story of a doubting young boy who takes a magical train ride to the North Pole. Believe.

Children are encouraged to wear their

pajamas and will receive a seasonal treat to take home. GLCFA will be operating at 20 percent capacity, requiring masks and social distancing, and has implemented additional cleaning protocols. Tickets will be available at GreatLakescfa.org or by phone at (231) 439-2610.

Note to readers: Given the pandemic and subsequent restrictions, things are always in flux. Please check with the venue for any lastminute changes.

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Let the Local Cash Registers Ring One-stop virtual and in-person holiday shopping

By Lynda Wheatley If you love the look and feel of the North’s quaint downtowns, skip shopping at the Big Box stores and online behemoths this year. Instead, spend your hard-earned holiday money supporting our local shops, artists, and community gathering places. Here, a short list of virtual and in-person holiday shopping opportunities coming your way.

By Linda Bayer

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By Marjorie Farrell

Northport Holiday Arts Market Online

If you aren’t able to mask up and set out to shop our local boutiques for one-of-a-kind goods for your Christmas list, you can still shop online in a way that supports local makers.

One of our recommended picks: The Northport Arts Association Holiday Arts Market.

Until Dec. 13, you can shop for a huge variety of fine arts and crafts created by very talented local artists. Think: bright and exciting glasswork, fiber arts, natural stone items, paintings, unique jewelry, photography, woodwork, fragrant essential oil blends, and even gift certificates for pet paintings. Head over to www.northportartsassociation.org.

Harbor Springs Merchants Holiday Open House

Harbor Springs’ annual Merchants Holiday Open House is happening this year, but to spread out the shoppers — and the holiday love — village retailers and restaurants will offer their specials over four days instead of two. The deals and delights kick off Dec. 3 and go until Dec. 6. (While you stroll the streets, singing loud for all to hear, keep your eyes peeled for Buddy the Elf, who is bringing his holiday cheer to dozens of downtown windows.)

Learn more at www.harborspringschamber.com

Holiday in the Village of Suttons Bay

We normally don’t recommend bringing kids along for shopping (because we have them ourselves) but for Small Business Saturday, Nov. 28, in Suttons Bay, we’d make an exception.

The picturesque village is going big on the holiday cheer, with shops all aglow and dressed in their holiday best, opening from 10am until 7pm to make way for safely masked shoppers.

At 5:30pm, the cheer kicks into high gear as Santa arrives by firetruck to light the village tree.

Mrs. Claus will be along for the event too — word is, she’ll host a story time while Santa poses with kids for pics (stay tuned for last-minute changes by keeping up with the “Holiday in The Village of Suttons Bay” event page on Facebook). No matter what, getting wishlists to Santa is a lock; thanks to the generous hearts and talents of Northern Building Supply, an official brand-spanking-new mailbox will be sitting outside Bahle’s of Suttons Bay, ready for letters from all the good girls and boys.

32 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

TC Church Cookie Sale — Curbside

The 22nd annual Trinity Lutheran Christmas Cookie Sale isn’t canceled; it’s going curbside. This year the faithful aproned ladies of Trinity Lutheran are offering a variety pack of 28 festive home-baked cookies — and a variety of ways to order them: online with a credit card at www.mynorth.com or in-person with cash or check at the Trinity Lutheran Church office, housed inside the Trinity Lutheran Church and School at 1003 South Maple St. in Traverse City. You’ll be able to pick up your order at the curb outside the church between 10am and 2pm, Dec. 12. For more information about ordering in person, call the Trinity Lutheran Church Office at (231)946-2720.

By Amy Gilmore, Amy Gilmore Pottery

By Kristin Hurlin, Glen Arbor Artisans

Virtual Glen Arbor 2020 Holiday Marketplace

Gallery of Shops’ Shop ’Till You Drop

Kill several (proverbial!) birds with one stone: After a quick peek inside, drop the kids’ letters to Santa in Grand Traverse Resort & Spa’s North Pole-direct mailbox, then go and fulfill some of those requests — for less. Just shop the resort’s indoor Gallery of Shops on Black Friday (Nov. 27) or Small Business Saturday (Nov. 28), and you’ll get 20 percent off all full-price merchandise.

Can’t make it? Don’t sweat it. A special shopping and gift-wrapping day is in the works for December. Stay tuned: www. grandtraverseresort.com

The Glen Arbor Holiday Marketplace, which normally hosts 1,700 shoppers and 25 to 30 artists inside its town hall, is pivoting to connect the Northern community and artists by way of the web.

Search “Glen Arbor Holiday Marketplace” on Facebook. Instead of just one day of in-person shopping, this year shoppers can peruse the artisans’ goods for a month, and trust us — with artists of this caliber, you’ll need that long.

By Maia Hausler, Wander and Gather

Know of a town or organization hosting a holiday open house or market in December? Let us know at info@northernexpress.com, and we’ll add it to the list at www.NorthernExpress.com.

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the ADViCE GOddESS Son Of Clam

Q

: Getting my boyfriend to talk to me about his feelings seems impossible. I know

guys tend not to be super emotive, but trying to get a read on what he’s feeling is like trying to understand a foreign language.

How can I get him to open up to me?

— Distressed

If only the Rosetta stone had included a A:fourth language: Heterosexual Male.

The Rosetta stone, for those who ditched history class to smoke pot behind the dumpster, was a tabletlike rock fragment that turned out to have the same message in three languages: Egyptian hieroglyphics (long considered undecipherable), another equally mysterious form of Egyptian writing, and ancient Greek. The Greek words were the key, finally allowing scholars to translate hieroglyphics (the ancient Egyptian version of texting somebody a slew of emojis).

Getting back to your own translation issues, it’s understandable you’re frustrated by the language barrier, or rather, the lack-oflanguage barrier in your man’s continuing adherence to Mute Boyfriend-ese. Shouldn’t two adults in a relationship be able to engage in open discussions about their feelings?

Unfortunately, if they’re male and female, maybe not. Men and women have some major differences in what I’d call “emotional literacy”: the ability to read emotions, both in oneself and others. Men are not the unfeeling louts they’re too often made out to be. However, women tend to show more emotion than men and be better at guessing others’ feelings. (Compared with most men, they’re practically emotional psychics.) Research by psychologist Simon Baron-Cohen suggests that women are the emotional specialists of our species, driven from childhood on to identify others’ emotions “and to respond with the appropriate emotion.”

Men, in contrast, basically “major” in engineering from childhood on. BaronCohen explains that they’re driven to decode the workings of machines, math, objects in motion, and other “rule-governed” (and thus relatively predictable) systems. A boy will take a screwdriver to a radio to see how it generates sound; a girl will mentally take apart her cousin to figure out why she’s suddenly gone all Bummerella.

These differences come not from “the patriarchy” or Disney princess movies but from millions of years of evolution. Differences in male and female physiology carved out differences in psychology and divisions of labor along male-female lines. Women, whose bodies are baby food dispensaries and who

BY Amy Alkon are children’s primary caretakers, evolved the emotional makeup to suss out the needs of infants, who lack the spoken-word skills to yell, “Hey, Ma, gimme a beer!”

Men, who evolved to be the warriors of our species, benefit in combat situations from being less in touch with their emotions — especially fear and sadness — explains psychologist Joyce Benenson. This would allow a man to storm into battle and get up close and spear-y with the enemy instead of doing what I, as an emotionally aware woman, would probably do: freeze, cry, and wet my pants.

Of course, many individual men and women don’t fit neatly into the “men tend to”/“women tend to” boxes. For example, I’m not surprised by a recent archeological finding suggesting ancestral women (and not just men) were hunters. (Of course, a huntergatherer lady would’ve spent much of her life pregnant or breastfeeding, and it’s hard to spear a wild boar while clutching a hungry baby drinking his lunch.)

I’m likewise not surprised to encounter men who can lay their feelings out like cold cuts on a platter. As for men who can’t, there’s this notion that people who have trouble identifying and thus expressing their emotions can improve through study and practice. One tool for this is a poster with cartoon faces showing various emotions, each labeled with the particular emotion.

(Google “how you feel today poster.”)

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Realistically, however, the person best equipped to put names to your boyfriend’s feelings is probably you. Consider that men tend to express their emotions through their actions: slamming cupboard doors (mad), sulking (bummed), etc. In keeping with that, ask him not about his feelings but about events — “What happened when you talked to your boss?” “Did that jerk or that jerk of a mountain lion show up on your hike?” -- and you might notice some feelings slipping out.

Ultimately, though, you should consider whether your being happy with this man is contingent on his expressing himself like a woman. If you stay together, you’ll probably need to meet him more than halfway, meaning rely way more on guessing his emotions than his putting them into words. Meanwhile, focusing on how men communicate through action should help

you see the beauty in, say, your being startled by clanging metal and yelled profanities some Saturday afternoon. You go out to your garage and discover your boyfriend rotating your tires unasked. It’s not exactly how Hugh Grant communicates in chick flicks, but if you understand real-life manspeak, you’ll respond perfectly: “You had me at #$&%*! worthless tire jack!”

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 35

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To Schedule: 231-499-6767 | Sarah_betterbalance@yahoo.com 36 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

nov 21

saturday

VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: Run/ walk a 5K anytime between Nov. 12 - Dec. 3. Share your results, experiences, memories & photos on the ‘Up North Media Traverse City Turkey Trot’ Facebook page. $30 plus sign-up fee. runsignup.com/Race/MI/TraverseCity/TraverseCityTurkeyTrot

---------------------EARLIER THAN THE BIRD: 7-11am, Downtown Boyne City. Wear pajamas & shop deals.

Stop at the Sunset Park Log Cabin before you shop as the first 125 shoppers in line will receive a free gift & a buyer’s guide. boynechamber.com

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: 1045 Rasho Rd., TC. Challenge yourself on the original course anytime from Dec. 4-6 & still get your finisher medal & event souvenir. A classic, European style turf grass course awaits you with optional knee high barriers including straw bales, fallen logs, wood fence & stone fence. Traverse over grass or snow & ice, wooded dirt trails, & farmland running terrain. Register

by Dec. 3. runsignup.com/farmland5k

---------------------NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: Featuring eight homes in northern MI, along with contractors, designers & homeowners. Tickets are a suggested donation of $15. Benefits Child & Family Services of Northwest Michigan. mynorthtickets.com

---------------------2020 TOY TROT 5K: 9am, 122 S. Mitchell St. (starting on Lake St. by pavillion), Cadillac.

Benefits Toys for Tots of Wexford & Missaukee counties. $25-$35. racewire.com/register. php?id=11788

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TOYS FOR TOTS KICK-OFF: 12-2pm. A drive-through donation TC event at Fox Motors & Bill Marsh Auto. Northwest Michigan Health Services Inc. will also offer no-cost flu vaccines at Fox Motors. toysfortots.org

DOWNTOWN STROLLING LIGHT PARADE: 5-9pm, Downtown TC. Twelve non-profit organizations will be scattered throughout downtown TC, each displaying their own rendition of the popular holiday song “Twelve Days of Christmas.” Vote for your favorite entry on-site & online.

Proceeds will benefit the Downtown Relief Fund & participating non-profits. Each vote will cost $1 with the option of a larger donation. The winning entry will be the Honorary Grand Marshall of the 2021 Downtown Traverse City Light Parade. downtowntc.com/downtown-light-parade

GOPHERWOOD CONCERT: LUKE WINSLOW-KING: 7pm. A Cadillac native singer/ songwriter, Luke broadcasts from Spain, with an evening of songs & stories, new & old. $15. crowdcast.io/e/gopherwood-presents-luke/regi ster?fbclid=IwAR0hEDtVLwJaZHKfjEGXd8Yel 5vpf8KA-Kksk1jlbgw_JpyMnaF8DXPbgZE

nov 22

sunday

3RD ANNUAL CRANKSGIVING: Part bicycle ride, part food drive to benefit local charities & families as they prepare for Thanksgiving. Decide if you want to team up or ride alone. Register. Check the list of food items to collect. Commit at least one act of random kindness. Check in between 11am-noon at either the Wheelhouse in TC or the Chain Hub (Rotary Park) in Elk Rapids. Presented by Norte & Food Rescue of Northwest Michigan. At least $25 for food items. elgruponorte.org/cranksgiving/?mc_ cid=d187e4c7cf&mc_eid=df24b9efb4

BAKE SALE TO SUPPORT BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS: Real Estate One in downtown TC is hosting its annual bake sale to help provide mentors to children in the community. All ordering & purchasing will be done online, with a curbside pick-up. All proceeds from this sale will be matched 100% by the Real Estate One Charitable Foundation & will support the work of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northwestern Michigan. Orders can be picked up Nov. 24. one.bidpal.net/bakesale/welcome

NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

DOWNTOWN BELLAIRE 3RD ANNUAL HOLIDAY OPEN HOUSE: 10am-10pm. Participating shops, tasting rooms & restaurants will have specials, discounts, product samples & much more.

---------------------MODEL RAILROAD ZOOM MEETING: 10am-1pm. National Model Railroad Association North Central Region Division 2 Monthly Zoom Meeting. Will include a presentation on model railroading & a show & tell. For login & password contact: info@ncrdivision2.groups.io Free.

---------------------SUTTONS BAY SATURDAY: Each participating merchant will donate up to 10% of their sales to an area non-profit (selected by you). suttonsbayarea.com/suttons-bay-saturday-holiday-open-house

---------------------GARY JULIANO - MEET THE ARTIST: 11am1pm, The Flying Pig, Bellaire. Join local landscape painter Gary Juliano as he displays his technique & answers questions.

---------------------THE GREAT PETOSKEY TAKE OUT: Nov. 13-22. Because of COVID-19, the Petoskey Chamber created this new event which focuses on people ordering take-out from area restaurants in a safe way to support the restaurants & staff. Enjoy family meals, dinner or lunch specials at great prices. petoskeychamber.com

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

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21-29

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BENZIE COUNTY DEMOCRATS MONTHLY MEETING: Benzie County Democratic Party Headquarters, 9930 Honor Hwy., Honor.

Meetings on third Saturday of the month, with 9:30am coffee klatch, 10am community announcements, followed by featured speaker.

Free. benziedemocrats.com

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november

VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

------------------------------------------BAKE SALE TO SUPPORT BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------THE GREAT PETOSKEY TAKE OUT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

nov 23

monday

HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS ZOOM GATHERING 101: 12:30-1:30pm. Presented by Lea M. Dietzel, MSA, BBA, North Central Michigan College. Review the basics of Zoom as both a participant & host, & incorporate activities you might consider to spice up the holiday season. Wear your best holiday apparel – Thanksgiving or Christmas themed... ugliest sweater, coolest Santa hat, or whatever you think will get you the most votes. Top three will win a prize. Register. ncmclifelonglearning. com/event-4054977

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VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

Real Estate One in downtown TC will host its annual bake sale including homemade pies, breads, cookies and more to help provide mentors to children in the community. All ordering and purchases will be done online this year with a curbside pick-up only on Tues., Nov. 24. Proceeds from the sale will be matched 100% by the Real Estate One Charitable Foundation and will directly support the work of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Northwestern Michigan. Bigsupnorth.com/BakeSale

nov 24

tuesday

VIRTUAL GREAT LAKES TRIVIA: 6:30-8:30pm. Test your knowledge on all things Great Lakes, sailing, & Inland Seas. A Zoom link to participate will be sent to you after registration & an ISEA staff member will email you information for putting together a team.

Free. schoolship.org/news-events/isea-cafe

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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---------------------BAKE SALE TO SUPPORT BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

nov 26

thursday

VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------DRIVE-THROUGH FLU SHOTS: 12-6pm, Grayling Fire Department, Grayling. For ages 6 months+.

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NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

2020 TURKEY TROT 5K: PETOSKEY: 9-11am, Pennsylvania Park, Petoskey.

Presented by YMCA of Northern Michigan.

Inperson or virtual. runsignup.com/Race/MI/ Petoskey/2020TurkeyTrot

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DRIVE-THROUGH FLU SHOTS: 9am-4pm, Grand Traverse Metro Fire - Station 1, TC. For ages 18+. Free.

wednesday

COVID, YOUR HEALTH & WELL-BEING THIS HOLIDAY SEASON: 7pm. An online event with Roger Gerstle, M.D., & Jennifer Strange, L.M.S.W., C.A.A.D.C., S.A.P. to help you navigate the uncertainties with information & understanding. Free. local.google.com/plac e?id=5195153016299587762&use=posts&lps id=8493707757248018095

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

nov 25

BAKE SALE TO SUPPORT BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

“CHAMBER CHAT” ZOOM UPDATES: 4-4:30pm. With East Jordan Chamber President Mary H. Faculak. To get the Zoom code, call: 231-536-7351.

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VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

------------------------------------------VIRTUAL TURKEY VULTURE TROT 5K: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. The race course will be set up from Nov. 26-29 for participants to run on their own time at their own pace. Proceeds will benefit North Sky Raptor Sanctuary.

Limited to 100 participants. $20. crystalmountain.com/event/5k-turkey-vulture-trot

---------------------KIWANIS BOYNE CITY TURKEY TROT: 9am. Virtual event. Choose from a 5K or 1 mile run. Start & finish wherever you would like. runsignup.com/Race/MI/BoyneCity/KiwanisBoyneCityTurkeyTrot

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 37

november

21-29

NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

nov 27

friday

GLEN ARBOR PAJAMA PARTY: 6:30-9am, Downtown Glen Arbor. Enjoy holiday discounts as you shop, practicing safe social distancing & wearing a mask. crystalriveroutfitters.com/event/glen-arbor-pj-party

---------------------LIGHT UP CEDAR: 5pm. An old-fashioned, small-town celebration that includes holiday lights, music & Santa Claus. Santa will arrive at 5:30pm to preside over the lighting of the Christmas tree at 6pm. The local shops will have extended hours from 5-7pm. Free. cedarmichamber.com/event/light-up-cedar

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FESTIVAL OF TREES ONLINE SALE: The Zonta Club of Traverse City will continue their annual Festival of Trees tradition from Nov. 27-30 in a new safe, responsible format: the Online Yuletide Emporium. Choose from hundreds of professionally handcrafted holiday designs including wreaths & Christmas trees, festive tabletop & wall décor, & gift baskets. In addition to Zonta’s own community grant program, three local nonprofit organizations will directly benefit from funds raised: Traverse Bay Children’s Advocacy Center, FEEDTC, & Angel Care Preschool & Childcare. zontacluboftraversecity.org/fot.

HOLIDAY FAMILY MAKER FEST: Online Zoom presentations include: “For the Birds!” at 11am. Decorate a tree in your yard with edible ornaments that birds, squirrels & other wildlife will love. “Snowman Family Yard Decorations” at 1pm. Transform a pine wood board into a festive smiling snowman. “Pretzel Log Cabin Holiday House” at 3pm. Build a holiday log cabin with pretzels. Register. Free. greatlakeskids. org/events/holiday-family-maker-fest-fridaynovember-27th HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------VIRTUAL TURKEY VULTURE TROT 5K: (See Thurs., Nov. 26)

nov 28

O P EN W ED - S UN 1 0 - 5 • Follow us www.facebook.com/Tampicolelandmi

38 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

---------------------VIRTUAL TURKEY VULTURE TROT 5K: (See Thurs., Nov. 26)

---------------------SMALL BUSINESS SATURDAY: Shop small businesses in northern Michigan.

nov 29

saturday

FIRST LIGHT CELEBRATION: 5-6pm, Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Enjoy holiday music & lighting the Christmas tree. Meet between the Lodge & Crystal Center to light the tree at 5:30pm sharp. crystalmountain. com/event/first-light

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VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------HOLIDAY IN THE VILLAGE OF SUTTONS BAY: 5:30-7pm. Caroling at the corner, Santa arrives by firetruck, village tree lighting, story time with Mrs. Claus, gifts from Santa, mail letter to Santa, extended business hours & more. suttonsbayarea.com/holiday-in-the-village-ofsuttons-bay

---------------------HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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art

VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

HYBRID VIRTUAL FARMLAND 5K & FREE FOR ALL BIKE: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

helping hands

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ARLY E D N LELAIRD SALE 27 B Y NOV A FRID 5% OFF!M 2 10A Y! 8 T O F A L L DA OF 15%

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VIRTUAL UP NORTH MEDIA TC TURKEY TROT: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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MI 49654 • (231) 256-7747

NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

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112 North Main Street • Leland

TC. A at Hu ponor

LIGHT UP LELAND FOR THE HOLIDAYS: 5:30pm. Tree lighting at Christmas Tree Corner, followed by parade with Santa riding in a fire engine to Village Green, where you can enjoy more tree lighting, caroling, treats & time with Santa. lelandmi.com/events/light-up-leland-for-the-holidays

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For Traverse City area news and events, visit TraverseTicker.com

105TH LIGHTING OF HARBOR SPRINGS HOLIDAY TREE: VIRTUAL: 6pm. Find on Facebook.

NORTHERN HOME & COTTAGE 2020 VIRTUAL TOUR: (See Sat., Nov. 21)

---------------------VIRTUAL TURKEY VULTURE TROT 5K: (See Thurs., Nov. 26)

ARTBRIGHT HOSTS THANKSGIVING DINNER GIVE AWAY: Held on Nov. 25 for Interlochen families who are in financial need & impacted by COVID-19. Read the event details that are posted on artBright’s Facebook page & send a private message to artBright Admin through the FB page. In addition to Thanksgiving dinner ingredients, each care package contains one watercolor leaf rubbing art kit with supplies to make four nature infused shimmering watercolor paintings together as a family. facebook.com/artbrightlight

---------------------BASKETS OF BOUNTY HOLIDAY DONATION DRIVE FOR AREA SENIORS: The Grand Traverse County Commission on Aging is seeking: paper towels, Kleenex, toilet paper, flushable wipes, lip balm (Chapstick), Band-Aids, shampoo/conditioner combo, body lotion, body wash, toothpaste, toothbrushes, liquid hand soap, dish soap, laundry detergent (smaller containers), assorted puzzle books (new), hand sanitizer & wipes, & cat & dog treats. Donations are tax deductible. Please make checks payable to: Grand Traverse County Commission on Aging. Cash donations are also accepted. All donations will be accepted through Weds., Nov. 25 at the Commission on Aging office located at 520 W. Front St., TC. Donations can be left in the front entrance area until the office opens to public. grandtraverse.org

---------------------PET ASSISTANCE: If you need assistance with meeting your pet’s needs, Hoop’s Pet Food Pantry can help. They will be at the Square Deal Country Store on Woodmere Ave., TC every Weds., 2:30-5:30pm & Sat., 12-3pm, offering pet supplies donated by your friends, neighbors & community businesses. If you’d like to make a donation, food & supplies can be dropped at the store during business hours. facebook.com/Squaredealcs

ongoing

NORTE’S RUN SABADOS: GT Civic Center, TC. A weekly walk or run held on Saturdays.

Meet outside the Wheelhouse at 10am, & then split up & hit the track.

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CALL FOR ENTRIES FOR 10TH ANNUAL YOUNG PLAYWRIGHTS FESTIVAL: Regional high school students are invited to submit an original one-act play. Finalists are paired with national theater mentors, win $100 & see their play performed on the City Opera House stage. Deadline is Dec. 11. cityoperahouse.org/ypf-entry-deadline

---------------------LET’S WALK TOGETHER: Presented by Norte. Connecting, moving together & learning about the expanding walking infrastructure in

JRAC Counc daily,

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BELLAIRE WINTER FARMERS MARKET: Held on Fridays from 10am-2pm. Located at both Bee Well & Terrain in downtown Bellaire.

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------------------------------------------BOYNE CITY INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 9am-noon through May 15. City Hall Lobby, Boyne City. petoskeyarea.com/eventdetail/boyne-city-indoor-farmers-market-1

---------------------INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: The Village at GT Commons, The Mercato, TC. Saturdays through April, 10am-2pm. thevillagetc.com/ indoor-farmers-market-7-2-2-2-2-2

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NORTHPORT ARTS ASSOCIATION HOLIDAY ARTS MARKET - ONLINE: Runs through Dec. 13. northportartsassociation.org

---------------------VIRTUAL GLEN ARBOR HOLIDAY MARKETPLACE: Shop artisans online this year, Nov. 7 - Dec. 18. facebook.com/glenarborholidaymarketplace

---------------------ART DE TROIS FEMMES HOLIDAY ART SHOW: Ledbetter Gallery, TC. Presented by Vada Color & Ledbetter Gallery. Featuring artists Katherine Corden, Dani Knoph & Katie Lowran. Runs through Nov. Ledbetter Gallery is open Mon. through Fri., 9am-4pm or by appointment. Free. vadacolor.com

---------------------“DON’T MISS THE BOAT”: Harbor Springs History Museum. Presented by the Harbor Springs Area Historical Society. This exhibit highlights the historic ferries of Little Traverse Bay & features original watercolors & giclees by local artist William Talmadge Hall. Runs through the summer of 2021. Hours: Tues.-Sat., 11am3pm. harborspringshistory.org/history-museum-exhibits

---------------------ARTIST APPRECIATION EXHIBITION: Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Dedicated to artists who have donated their work or time to OAC’s annual summer fundraising galas for the past few years. With twenty-two regional artists participating, the exhibition features everything from oil, acrylic, and watercolor painting, to fiber art, sculptures, and ceramics. Runs through Dec. 4.

Hours: Mon. - Fri.: 10am-4:30pm; Sat.: 10am4pm; Sun.: Closed. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

---------------------OPEN CALL FOR “THOSE WHO TEACH”: Deadline to apply is 1/15/21. Exhibit featuring the artwork of Michigan’s Visual Art Educators. higherartgallery.com/calls-for-art

---------------------CHARLEVOIX CIRCLE OF THE ARTS, CHARLEVOIX - ALL MEDIA OPEN CALL TO MICHIGAN ARTISTS: Submit to: re | ART: reject, reflect, refine, remark, a juried fine arts exhibit. Artists are invited to comment visually on the many shifts taking place in our current experience, as change opens a path to rethink, revisit, reunite, recharge, reevaluate, redefine, etc. Juror will award cash prizes. Deadline for entry is Jan. 10 at noon. charlevoixcircle.org/juried-exhibit

---------------------CHARLEVOIX CIRCLE MARKET: Charlevoix Circle of Arts hosts its annual Circle mARkeT, Nov. 19 - Jan. 2, featuring over 40 local artists’ & makers’ handmade items, original art & locally produced specialty treats.

To celebrate the mARkeT opening on Thurs., Nov. 19, Charlevoix Circle of Arts will be offering extended hours from 4-7pm, with several prize giveaways throughout the day. Open: Mon.-Fri., 11am-4pm; Sat., 11am-3pm; *Wed. & Thurs. mornings from 10-11am are reserved for vulnerable patrons. CharlevoixCircle.org

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DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: - MATHIAS J. ALTEN: AN AMERICAN ARTIST AT THE TURN OF THE CENTURY: The German-born American Impressionist Mathias Joseph Alten, often referred to as the Dean of Michigan painters, is regarded as one of the most celebrated regionalist artists to have worked in the United States. Runs through Jan. 31. dennosmuseum.org/art/upcoming-exhibitions/index.html - MICHIGAN MODERN: AN ARCHITECTURAL LEGACY: This exhibit celebrates Michigan’s modern architectural design history from 1928-2012. It is comprised of over 50 photographs by James Haefner primarily for the State Historic Preservation Office as part of their Michigan Modern Project, & featured in the book by State Historic Preservation Officer Brian Conway, titled “Michigan Modern: An Architectural Legacy.” Runs through Jan. 31. dennosmuseum.org/art/upcoming-exhibitions/ index.html

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GLEN ARBOR ARTS CENTER, GLEN ARBOR: - GAAC OUTDOOR GALLERY: CALL FOR ENTRIES: The Glen Arbor Arts Center is accepting submissions for its 2021 Outdoor Gallery. The exhibition space is the south & west exterior walls of the GAAC’s building at 6031 S. Lake St., Glen Arbor. Original work by a single artist will be selected by a jury, & exhibited from May 2021 to April 2022. Deadline for submissions is February 25, 2021. Open to all media, the selected work will be eye-catching, compelling, colorful & communicate the spirit of the Glen Arbor Arts Center with fresh originality. The selected exhibitor’s original work will be enlarged & reproduced on five, separate, 5 foot x 5 foot square outdoor panels for one year. A $500 prize will be awarded to the selected artist. Submissions are on-line only. To apply visit GlenArborArt.org & click on ARTIST/Calls For Entry. glenarborart.org/exhibits/current-exhibits - SMALL WORKS HOLIDAY EXHIBITION: An exhibition of original art – painting, photography, fiber, mixed media, jewelry & more. Featuring art work 12” x 12” & smaller, all priced at $150 or less. Runs Nov. 13 - Dec. 17. The GAAC is open daily, 11am – 2pm. glenarborart.org

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JRAC GIFT MARKET: Jordan River Arts Council, East Jordan, Nov. 21 - Dec. 19. Open daily, 1-4pm.

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - THE COLLECTIVE IMPULSE: NEW WORK

BY RUTH BARDENSTEIN, JEAN BUESCHER BARTLETT & SUSAN MORAN: Runs through Dec. 18, Gilbert Gallery. These three artists met in Ann Arbor &, over time, have nurtured both personal & creative connections.

They regularly share & critique one another’s work & together visit gallery & museum exhibitions. crookedtree.org/event/ctac-petoskey/ collective-impulse-new-work-ruth-bardensteinjean-buescher-bartlett-and-susan - CALL & RESPONSE: Held in Bonfield Gallery. This exhibit recognizes the many ways works of art can spark conversation, action & aid in the processing of ideas, feelings, experiences & events. Original work in a variety of media will be on display. Runs through Dec. 18. crookedtree.org/event/ctac-online-ctacpetoskey/call-and-response

Deadline for Dates information is Tuesday for the following week.

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 39

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WIFI

“Jonesin” Crosswords "UR Here" --as if it isn't obvious. by Matt Jones

Christmas Eve The Tradition Continues

O N L I N E AT: tccentralumc.org facebook.com/cumctc

40 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

ACROSS 1 1 of 100 still being finalized in D.C. 4 Company with "counting sheep" ads 9 Beginning (of the hour) 12 "The Clan of the Cave Bear" author Jean 14 It may have a big impact 15 "___ Been Thinking About You" (1991 Londonbeat song) 16 Greetings from trained bears?

18 Shirt marker 19 "Can you wait just a freaking minute?!"

20 It had a baby face in "Teletubbies" 21 Escapees from Pandora's box 22 "George of the Jungle" creature 23 "___ and Juice" 25 California ballplayer 27 Burn a little 29 Modern, to Merkel 31 Annoying 34 Deployed with alacrity?

37 "The Princess and the Frog" princess 40 Heavy metal singer Ronnie James ___ 41 Pronounce 42 Way to keep your spiky sea creatures fastened?

45 City that shares Seattle's airport 46 "The King and I" actor Brynner 47 Chaka who sang "I Feel for You" 51 Discharges 53 Back-to-school mo.

55 Fertility clinic supply 56 Disinfectant sheet 58 Burj Khalifa's loc.

60 Alloy containing tin 62 Bug that might bug you in the kitchen 63 Tool to help build a city?

65 Descend diagonally 66 Battleship blasts 67 "The Flintstones" pet 68 What Portland went back to recently 69 Printer's excess 70 Animal in "Jack and the Beanstalk"

DOWN 1 People get steamed there 2 One side of "the pond" 3 AriZona alternative 4 Fix a button 5 HHH, in Greek 6 Accelerate 7 Polish site 8 "___ longa, vita brevis" 9 Golf ball brand 10 Like the head of a tennis racket 11 Lite-Brite bulbs, really 13 "Hamilton" creator ___-Manuel Miranda 14 Asking for a tiny bit of fish, maybe?

17 December cartonful 21 Siberia's neighbor on a Risk board 24 Lists of basics 26 Shrivel 28 Hurry back, perhaps 30 Cohesiveness 32 "Born," in some notices 33 E. Berlin was its capital 35 "Army of Darkness" director Sam 36 Donut, mathematically 37 Boy king of Egypt 38 Levin who wrote "Rosemary's Baby" 39 Be resigned to one's fate 43 Quick learner 44 Hebrew alphabet starters 48 It'll pick up the faintest of noises 49 Oat-based skin product brand 50 Like some margins 52 Weasel cousin 54 Shepherd's pie bit 56 Paper nest builder 57 Calligrapher's supply 59 Icicle lights locale 61 2000s Iraq war subject, briefly 63 Charging port, maybe 64 "Mmhmm" motion

lOGY

NOV 23 - NOV 29

BY ROB BREZSNY

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) "You live best as an appreciator of horizons, whether you reach them or not." Those words from poet David Whyte would be a perfect motto for you to write out on a piece of paper and tape to your bathroom mirror or your nightstand for the next 30 years. Of all the tribes in the zodiac, you Sagittarians are most likely to thrive by regularly focusing on the big picture. Your ability to achieve small day-by-day successes depends on how well you keep the long-range view in mind. How have you been doing lately with that assignment? In the coming weeks, I suspect you could benefit from hiking to the top of a mountain—or the metaphorical equivalent—so you can enjoy seeing as far as you can see.

ScORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): "If you can’t

help me grow, there’s no point with you being in my life." Singer and actress Jill Scott said that. In my view, Scorpios may be the only sign of the zodiac that can assert such a sentiment with total sincerity and authority. For many of the other tribes, it might seem harsh or unenforceable, but for you it's exactly right—a robust and courageous truth. In addition to its general rightness, it's also an especially apt principle for you to wield right now. The coming weeks will be a potent time to catalyze deep learning and interesting transformations in concert with your hearty allies.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Sensible

Capricorn author E. M. Forster (1879–1970) said, "Passion does not blind. No. Passion is sanity.” That's the opposite of what many poets and novelists have asserted down through the ages, which is that passion isn't truly passion unless it renders you half-crazy, driven by obsession, and subject to delusion and irrationality. But in offering you counsel in this horoscope, I'm aligning myself with Forster's view. For you in the coming weeks, Capricon, passion will help you see clearly and keep you mentally healthy.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Alpine swifts

are small birds that breed in Europe during the summer and then migrate long distance to Africa for the winter. Ornithologists were shocked when they discovered that at least some of these creatures fly for more than 200 days without ever once landing on the ground. They're not always flapping their wings—sometimes they glide—but they manage to do all their eating and drinking and sleeping and mating in mid-air.

Metaphorically speaking, I think it's important for you to not act like the alpine swifts in the coming months, dear Aquarius. Please plan to come all the way down to earth on a regular basis.

PISCES

(Feb 19-March 20): There's substantial evidence that when people talk to themselves out loud in the midst of doing a task, they improve their chances of succeeding at the task. Have you ever heard athletes giving themselves verbal encouragement during their games and matches? They're using a trick to heighten their performance. In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you to experiment with this strategy in the coming weeks. Increase your brainpower by regularly offering yourself encouraging, supportive instructions. It's fine if you just sort of whisper them, but I'd love it if now and then you also bellowed them.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): "A little too much is

just enough for me," joked poet and filmmaker Jean Cocteau. I suspect that when he said that, he was in a phase similar to the one you're in now. I bet he was experiencing a flood of creative ideas, pleasurable self-expressions, and loving breakthroughs.

He was probably right to risk going a bit too far, because he was learning so much from surpassing his previous limitations and exploring the frontiers outside his comfort zone. Now here's your homework, Aries: Identify two actions you could take that fit the profile I've described here.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Biologists

believe that no tree can grow more than 436 feet tall. As much as an individual redwood or spruce or mountain ash might like to sprout so high that it doesn't have to compete with other trees for sunlight, gravity is simply too strong for it to pump enough water up from the ground to its highest branches.

Keep that in mind as a useful metaphor during the next ten months, Taurus. Your assignment is to grow bigger and taller and stronger than you ever have before—and know when you have reached a healthy level of being bigger and stronger and taller.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): I haven't felt

the savory jolt of bacon in my mouth since I was 15, when I forever stopped eating pigs. I still remember that flavor with great fondness, however. I've always said I'd love to find a loophole that would allow me to enjoy it again. And then today I found out about a kind of seaweed that researchers at Oregon State University say tastes like bacon and is healthier than kale.

It's a new strain of a red marine algae called dulse. If I can track it down online, I'll have it for breakfast soon. I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because I suspect that you, too, are primed to discover a fine new substitute—something to replace a pleasure or resource that is gone or taboo or impossible. What could it be?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): By age 49,

Cancerian author Norman Cousins had been struck with two debilitating diseases. His physicians gave him a one in 500 chance of recovery. He embarked on a series of unconventional attempts to cure himself, including "laugh therapy" and positive self-talk, among others. They worked. He lived lustily for another 26 years, and wrote several books about health and healing. So perhaps we should pay attention to his belief that "each patient carries his own doctor inside him"—that at least some of our power to cure ourselves resides in inner sources that are not understood or accredited by traditional medicine. This would be a valuable hypothesis for you to consider and test in the coming weeks, Cancerian. (Caveat: But don't stop drawing on traditional medicine that has been helping you.)

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In accordance with

astrological rhythms, I'm giving you permission to be extra regal and majestic in the coming weeks. You have a poetic license to be a supremely royal version of yourself, even to the point of wearing a jeweled crown and purple silk robe. Would you prefer a gold scepter with pearls or a silver scepter with rubies? Please keep in mind, though, that all of us non-Leos are hoping you will be a noble and benevolent sovereign who provides enlightened leadership and bestows generous blessings. That kind of behavior will earn you the right to enjoy more of these lofty interludes in the future.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In the coming

weeks, I will refer to you as The Rememberer.

Your task will be to deepen and refine your relationship with the old days and old ways— both your own past and the pasts of people you care about most. I hope you will take advantage of the cosmic rhythms to reinvigorate your love for the important stories that have defined you and yours. I trust you will devote treasured time to reviewing in detail the various historical threads that give such rich meaning to your web of life.

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): "Those who build walls are their own prisoners," wrote Libran author Ursula K. Le Guin. She continued, "I'm going to fulfill my proper function in the social organism. I'm going to unbuild walls." I hope that sounds appealing to you, Libra. Unbuilding walls is my first choice for your prime assignment in the coming weeks. I'd love to see you create extra spaciousness and forge fertile connections. I'll be ecstatic if you foster a rich interplay of diverse influences. If you're feeling super-plucky, you might even help unbuild walls that your allies have used to half-trap themselves.

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Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 41

NORTHERN EXPRESS

CLAS SIFIE DS

OTHER

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42 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly

NEWER BUILD IN MAPLE CITY Looking for your first home? This could be it! Come see this newly constructed home, located right in the village of Maple City in Leelanau County. In the Glen Lake School District, sits this 3 BR /2 BA, with full finished egress basement. 2 car detached garage with covered walk thru, and an open concept layout with island kitchen! Built in 2017, and waiting for its first family! $255,000 MLS 1868754

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2169 ARBUTUS RIDGE DRIVE

3 bed, 3 bath on beautiful and secluded Arbutus Ridge Just remodeled, excellent finishes throughout Nearly one acre lot, tons of space for outside activity Sizeable, unfinished, walkout basement $350,000 Northern Express Weekly • nov 23, 2020 • 43

44 • nov 23, 2020 • Northern Express Weekly