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Beer Here and Everywhere our annual brew & st. patrick's day issue NORTHERN MICHIGAN’S WEEKLY • march 12 - march 18, 2018 • Vol. 28 No. 11

FREE

Easter Egg Hunt March 31 at 10am

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NWS… Where great coNverSatioNS begiN! 2 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

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Blame Game The fake news, liberal press, and lying reporters are blaming the lack of gun regulations for the latest school murders. The fault belongs with the F.B.I., video games, local police, and not enough guns. Do you know survivors are planning a march in Washington, D.C.? Have you noticed teens spouting the Constitution? Students are badgering members of Congress to answer questions. What right do they have to doubt the NRA or legislative leadership? How dare families suggest student lives are equal to the right to own and use assault weapons?

Must be liberals have brainwashed students with critical thinking and reason. Hollywood elites are giving money to assist young peoples’ travel to express their naive opinions. Minors don’t donate to elections. Minors don’t vote.

Public schools — what a problem! Wait a bit longer than two weeks, and the kids will go back to their focus on prom, March Madness, or college applications. They will forget the ideals of reforms and prevention of another tragic shooting – will you?

Nancy Hellman, Boyne Falls

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Questioning Trump’s Supporters Here are some confusing but interesting thoughts. A recent ABC-Washington Post survey showed that 68 percent of white evangelicals approve of Trumps job performance; 80 percent of those same evangelicals voted for Trump in the last election. The latest U.S. general population poll shows Trump’s job approval rating at 37 percent. The head of the Evangelical Research Council, Toney Perkins, claims his supporters “gave Trump a [mulligan]” on the recent claim he had sex with a porn star.

Franklin Graham, also a Trump supporter, claims Trump is now a changed person but called the progressive agenda of President Obama and Hillary Clinton “godless.”

Here’s where this gets real confusing: Aren’t these the same people continually preaching the sanctity of marriage and family values? They villainize Robert Mueller, a Princeton graduate, FBI director for over a decade, Marine Corp second lieutenant, Vietnam War hero, and recipient of the Bronze Star with Valor, a Purple Heart, two Navy commendations, and Vietnamese Cross of Gallantry. He married his highschool sweetheart and has remained married more than 50 years, has two daughters and

three granddaughters, and is a Republican and practicing Presbyterian. But they can overlook Trump’s three marriages, the fact that he never goes to church, is a draft dodger, has numerous pending charges of sexual misconduct, was aware of spousal abuse charges against a Cabinet member, supported the alleged Alabama pedophile and racist Roy Moore, had personal lawyers pay off a porn star for her silence, and is a habitual liar!

With some, the ends always justify the means, and our National Political and Social norms don’t seem to matter much anymore.

High-rise Beauty Mr. Tuttle is both right and wrong. Highrise buildings in the old warehouse district would block no one’s view of the bay. If they were condos instead of rentals, the real estate taxes would skyrocket. If the parking was underground, there would be no land use.

If the first, and maybe second, floors were office space, the city taxes would again go up.

The beautiful downtown area would not be affected. I have traveled all over the world — Paris, London, Rome, Denver, Chicago, and Christchurch to name a few — and high rises outside the downtown district have no effect on the beauty of the cities. Traverse City (my hometown) needs close-in housing and reduction in the urban sprawl.

features Crime and Rescue Map......................................7

Michigan’s Most Remote Brewery.....................10 Stormcloud’s Forecast...................................12 The Morning After........................................14 St.Patrick’s.................................................17 Abuzz in Petoskey............................................19 Underdog on Top.......................................20 Beyond Green Beer...........................................22 Sayonara, Slopes...........................................23 Northern Seen...................................................24

dates...............................................25-27 music FourScore......................................................30 Nightlife.........................................................32

columns & stuff Top Ten...........................................................4

Spectator/Stephen Tuttle....................................6 Opinion.............................................................8 Weird...............................................................9 Crossed..........................................................15 The Reel...........................................................31 Modern Rock/Kristi Kates................................29 Advice Goddess...........................................33 Crossword...................................................33 Freewill Astrology.........................................34 Classifieds..................................................35

Micheal Cromley, Afton, Michigan

Armed Guards for Thee, But Not for Me, Trump?

President Trump, after the AR-15 massacre in what’s being called the “Gunshine State,” says teachers should carry guns to make schools safer, instead of having armed guards on site: “It would look terrible, having guards in schools,” he said. Like armed guards look “terrible” today at TSA airport checkpoints?

Is this man dumb or blind? All Americans — and especially our children — deserve the same protections as those who supposedly “represent” us. People in every other civilized, democratic county on the planet have these protections today, via sensible gun-control laws that keep lunatics from obtaining military-style personal WMDs. Once Congress is taught this — because it is the children and parents who are doing the teaching now — we the people can teach other common-sense truths: Like how the average American deserves the same benefits enjoyed by our so-called “representatives” — the “leaders” we taxpayers pay to protect and defend us. Sickening school shootings and medical bankruptcies are proof they are not doing so. No word, by the way, from Rep. Jack “The Marine” Bergman: He’s been busy battling cormorants and fending off checks, for his thoughts and prayers, from irate constituents.

Save our Waters from the Farm Bureau Love northern Michigan streams and lakes? Tell your state representative and senator to oppose House Bill 5638, ironically titled the Natural Resources and Environmental Protection Act. It would gut PA451, the regulatory program for Large Quantity Water Withdrawals.

HB5638 proposes to: approve all requests (even those predicted to cause adverse resource impacts) if applicants simply submit data about the withdrawal; automatically give applicants “provisional” approval (DEQ would have just 10 days to prove adverse impacts); automatically approve wells drilled into bedrock — despite Michigan science showing such wells impact streams and deplete surface waters; exempt data submitted in this weakened process from public transparency, exempting them from Freedom of Information Act inquiries.

Since 2009 (when PA 451 took effect), over 4,000 new large-quantity water withdrawals have been requested — most (90 percent) for agricultural irrigation. Of those 4,000, only 40 (1 percent) have been declined, due to predicted adverse resource impacts.

If this bill passes, it will result in frequent adverse resource impacts across Michigan’s waters, excessive withdrawals, unenforced illegal stream draw-downs, and diminished coldwater sport fisheries. This bill would damage the very groundwater that makes high-quality trout streams possible, degrading sport fisheries that provide so much recreation and economic growth here in northern Michigan. (To say nothing of its impacts on water tables, residential wells, and tourism!)

Dixon Dudderar, Harbor Springs

David A. Newhouse, Cadillac

Jay Richley, Cadillac

CONTENTS

Northern Express Weekly is published by Eyes Only Media, LLC. Publisher: Luke Haase 129 E Front Traverse City, MI Phone: (231) 947-8787 Fax: 947-2425 email: info@northernexpress.com www.northernexpress.com Executive Editor: Lynda Twardowski Wheatley Finance & Distribution Manager: Brian Crouch Sales: Kathleen Johnson, Lisa Gillespie, Katy McCain, Mike Bright, Michele Young, Randy Sills, Todd Norris For ad sales in Petoskey, Harbor Springs, Boyne & Charlevoix, call (231) 838-6948 Creative Director: Kyra Poehlman Distribution: Matt Ritter, Randy Sills, Kathy Twardowski, Austin Lowe Listings Editor: Jamie Kauffold Contributing Editor: Kristi Kates Reporter: Patrick Sullivan Contributors: Amy Alkon, Janice Binkert, Ross Boissoneau, Rob Brezsny, Craig Manning, Jennifer Hodges, Michael Phillips, Steve Tuttle, Meg Weichman Copyright 2018, all rights reserved. Distribution: 36,000 copies at 600+ locations weekly. Northern Express Weekly is free of charge, but no person may take more than one copy of each weekly issue without written permission of Northern Express Weekly. Reproduction of all content without permission of the publisher is prohibited.

Continued on page 6

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 3

this week’s

top ten Foot Bridge Proposed for Petoskey

3

library kids fun day

Mills Community House is bringing in Benzie Central’s student athletes to read to little ones at the Benzonia Library’s Kids Fun Day Carnival. Face painting, make-and-take crafts, games, and prizes are also on tap at this free March 17 event, held 1-3pm. (231) 882-411, benzonialibrary.org.

4 Trail enthusiasts want to construct a pedestrian bridge to connect the North Central Michigan College natural area with the Petoskey River Road Sports Complex.

A group is raising funds for the creation of the Bear River Bridge, which would connect two trail segments that make up the Petoskey section of the North Country National Scenic Trail. The 80-foot long bridge would cross the Bear River between Howard Street and McDougal Road and take hikers away from busy roads, said Duane Lawton, project coordinator.

Construction is estimated to cost $166,000. The project is a collaboration of Petoskey Parks and Recreation, NCMC, and the North Country Trail Association.

The groups have launched a fundraiser to seek matching grants for the project, which they’d like to see constructed in 2019.

“The more people who support the bridge, the more the major donors will see the value in this project,” Lawton said.

For more information, search Jordan River Valley 45 Chapter of the NCTA on Facebook.

Hey, watch it! icarus

If you’re either trying to catch up on your Oscar viewing or recovering from Olympics fever and want to better understand why Russia was banned from competing in Pyeongchang, watch Icarus, a gripping Academy Award-nominated doc that takes you inside the country’s state-sanctioned doping program — like, seriously inside. Director and amateur cyclist Bryan Fogel decided to try and figure how athletes like Lance Armstrong were able to get away with doping for so many years by shooting his own body full of anabolic steroids and other illegal substances. But after a chance meeting with Grigory Rodchenkov, the man at the center of one of the biggest scandals in sports history, this personal probe turns full-on thriller. And it’s a rivetingly wild ride. Streaming on Netflix.

5

2 tastemakers

THE MANY FACES OF LARB

Is it larb, laab, laap or larp? That depends on where in the world you are. In the U.S., it’s often just called lettuce wraps. This particular version — from Samsara, the new Southeast Asian restaurant in Traverse City — has its origins in Laos, where it is the unofficial national dish. There, according to Samantha Malasy (co-owner of the restaurant and the “Sam” in its name), it is sometimes served with just rice. Marrying the flavors of minced chicken or beef, onions, cilantro, Thai chili peppers, and fresh lime, Samsara’s larb is garnished with toasted, ground sticky rice.

The taste? Umami pure — that combination of sweet, salty, sour, and bitter — with a spicy kick. Crisp lettuce leaves and cooling cucumbers balance the heat. It’s surprising how such a simple dish can create so much sensory excitement. $8.50 for chicken, $10.50 for beef. Samsara, 4025 Chums Village Dr., Traverse City. (231) 486-6155.

4 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

raising spirits.

That’s a number you can toast to.

That ’s the Power of Michigan Co-ops.™

6

Student WalkOut Wednesday

Students across the country — and perhaps, across northern Michigan — plan to protest gun violence in schools with a walkout this Wednesday, March 14.

The event is promoted by the National Women’s March Action Network and dubbed #Enough: National School Walkout. It’s timed to take place one month after the shooting massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. The walkout is slated to begin at 10am and last 17 minutes to honor the 17 students killed.

Local schools have had varied responses to the plans.

Traverse City West Senior High School Principal Joe Esper, for instance, sent a letter to parents to inform them that the school does not plan to discipline students who peacefully participate, however, he noted that the school day would not pause, and students who walk out could receive unverified absences.

“We encourage our students to be actively engaged citizens who are knowledgeable about multiple viewpoints surrounding current events,” Esper wrote. “We also recognize that many students may not want to participate in a walkout and would prefer to stay in class. We want to ensure that all students feel safe and respected, no matter what they choose to do.”

things we love Terry Crews’ Up North Start

the joke jam Comedy Fest might be long gone, but the laughs are still rolling in Traverse City. The Joke Jam comedy contest is coming, with seven shows happening between March 12 and April 21. Local laugh groups Rotten Cherries and Kamikaze Comedy are hosting the events to raise money for charities: Norte, Polestar LBGTQ Center, FLOW (For the Love of Water) and Cherryland Humane Society.

Like to laugh? Think you’re funny?

Qualifying rounds happen March 12 and 26 at the Workshop Brewing Co., and March 20 and April 3 at Grand Traverse Distillery Tasting Room. The grand finale event, headlined by national comedian Stewart Huff, will be held at the State Theatre April 20. Every round is open to audiences. Get more dates and details at RCOpenMic or KamikazeComedyTC on Facebook.

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Oh, So Lucky St. Patrick’S Day WeekenD March 16 Palette BiStro

italia incognito: rare Wines of italy Dinner

March 17 city Park Grill

Galactic Sherpas St. Patty’s Bash irish three-course Dinner 231.347.0101 Wineguysgroup.com

231.348.3321

You might know Terry Crews from his role as NYPD Sergeant Terry Jeffords in the Fox sitcom Brooklyn Nine-Nine. You might know him as a defensive end and linebacker in the NFL. (He played for the L.A. Rams, San Diego Chargers, and Washington Redskins.) Or you might know him as the guy from the viral Old Spice commercials or Time magazine’s Person of the Year in 2017. What we didn’t know until we heard him interviewed on The Tim Ferris Show podcast, was that Crews, a native of Flint, Michigan, is also an artist who spent a summer at Interlochen Arts C amp. In the interview, recorded in Los Angeles in 2014 as part of Ferris’ “Live Talks L.A.” stage series, Crews raves about the camp, its competitive spirit, and how it impacted the trajectory of his life. Local love notwithstanding, the entire interview is fascinating. Give it a listen and get inspired at: https://youtu.be/Sw4nhhSr58k

bottoms up 2016 LFC BLAUFRÄNKISCH Respect. Aretha Franklin wasn’t getting enough of it, and these days, neither are medium-bodied, elegant red wines like Blaufränkisch. Which is puzzling, because this traditional Austrian cool-climate red is infinitely approachable, delicious, and food friendly — complementing a wide range of dishes from lamb to pizza. Left Foot Charley’s Bryan Ulbrich was one of the first northern Michigan vintners to recognize the potential of Blaufränkisch, showcasing it early on at his urban winery and tasting room in The Village at Grand Traverse Commons.

Since then, it has developed a small but fervent legion of fans who actually give it a lot of respect, well aware that it is a limitedrelease wine. What that means is that if you want to get in on the action, you need to get over to LFC, treat yourself to a taste, and snap up a few bottles; only 20 cases are left.

Blaufränkisch MacDonald Vineyard 750 ml, $35. Left Foot Charley, 806 Red Dr., Traverse City. (231) 995-0500. leftfootcharley.com

d o w n to w n p e to s k e y

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 5

letters Continued from page 3

Get Kids Outside The number of children you see playing outdoors at the park or in their yards is slim. According to the National Association for Education of Young Children (NAEYC): “For a child, everything is new — even the tiniest things are interesting and exciting.

In today’s entertainment-driven world, exploring the outdoors is an opportunity for children to actively engage in learning.”

Technology is a large contributor to the low numbers of children seen outdoors playing and exploring.

Being outdoors is important, not only for physical development but for psychological development. There should be more time set aside for children to spend time outdoors at the park and in the woods. Children are learning to master their motor skills by climbing hills and experiencing their natural world. These are great ways to help promote good motor development within young children.

Jordanne Michalski, Big Rapids Back to the USSR My adjustment to the Trump presidency is not going well. The daily barrage of scandals, from day one, is exhausting, and I feel like I am in a bad re-enactment of the film Groundhog Day. Maybe you’re like me and find it abhorrent that our country’s allies are treated shabbily, while our nemesis Russia is treated with kid gloves and glowing adoration. Silly Congress, did you really think President Trump would enact our sanctions? Maybe you feel alarmed that our president seems to lie every day about verifiable incidents. Maybe you’re sickened to see people who call themselves Christians stand up for a CINO (Christian In Name Only) — think 2 Corinthians and think about President Trump’s repeated boasts to “hit people back 10 times harder than they hit him.” Whatever happened to Jesus’ example of forgiving people 70 times 7?

Payoffs to mistresses, sexual harassment charges, telling people he’d love to date his “hot” daughter, the absolute love and worship of money and material signs of wealth — well, the party of family values has embraced his nonsense hook, line, and sinker.

So, we either change our country’s name to the USSR — United States of the Super Rich — or we work to elect Democrats and Progressives. They’re our only chance.

Carolyn S. Matzinger, Petoskey Global Warming Not So Pleasant You might have heard someone say in response to a nice day in winter, “If this is global warming, I’ll take it!” A smooth, comfortable adjustment in living circumstances, not unlike turning up the thermostat by a degree or two.

Not to worry!

This response is entirely understandable.

Unfortunately, it is also entirely wrong.

Although the increase in CO2 in the atmosphere is gradual and steady, the results of that increase will be anything but. People assume that noticeable effects will be far off in the future, but they are showing up right now. And if you think the effects will be felt only in some faraway corner of the globe where only polar bears and penguins live, think again.

The consequences of a changing climate are occurring everywhere and likely right near you, affecting your community. Our Great Lakes have warmed by two to three degrees, which will have significant effects on cold water fish like trout. Early springs will cause our fruit trees to blossom early and, if followed by a frost of five degrees below freezing, will damage 90 percent of the crop. Our shorter winters

ECONOMIC FOLLY will limit the amount of our winter sports.

Higher atmospheric CO2 favors weeds such as ragweed, whose pollen triggers allergies and worsens asthma. The number of pollen allergy and asthma appears to be increasing in recent decades as the globe continues to warm.

The good news is we can prevent the more serious effects of global warming by putting a price on carbon, which will not only reduce the amount of CO2 pollution but also create jobs since renewables are labor intensive.

Ronald Marshall, Petoskey Saving Snow If you’re like me, you probably feel like you don’t need to see another movie about climate change. But out of a sense of duty, I went to see Saving Snow at Crystal Mountain. I’m glad I did. I learned a lot about how ski areas across North America are struggling due to shorter ski seasons, unreliable natural snow, and weather too warm to support manmade snow. I learned about the huge investments ski resorts like Crystal Mountain are making in alternative energy and technology. Communities that depend on snow and cold weather for jobs that support skiing, snowmobiling, and ice fishing are already showing the economic devastation climate change causes.

Saving Snow reminded me how urgent the situation is, but it also reminded me that there are solutions including energy efficiency, alternative energy sources, and political action to get our representatives in D.C. to take action. Even if you think you’ve heard it all about climate change, I encourage you to see Saving Snow.

Cheryl Bartz, Beulah The Enemy is Us The innocent run in fear with their hands held high. Victims smile at us from TV screens. The anguished cry out, “Why?” Survivors struggle to endure. The guilty say that is the price of freedom, and only more of the same will protect us. False prophets cling to fantasies about refreshing the tree of liberty with blood.

People the world over have a responsibility to keep a wary eye on their government.

The rise of one-party nations/states has categorically been detrimental to its entire citizenry. It typically starts by harnessing a public’s fear and then weaponizing it against a specific population, while continually expanding the role of security enforcement for “homeland” protection. What else could explain the ready availability of assault type firearms in our society? Why else would this administration allow those deemed mentally incompetent to buy such weapons while supporting measures that defund healthcare for these very same people?

Fake patriots fear government overreach.

Guaranteed healthcare, good public schools, and security for the aged, poor, hungry or infirm is an unacceptable idea that only they and their guns can defend against. Their vision of a peaceful country is one where all are armed and stand their ground while professing to love a God who still loudly proclaims “Thou shalt not kill.”

True patriots would demand the corporate-sponsored, government-sanctioned, indiscriminate wholesale slaughter of American citizens ends immediately. They would insist on workable solutions for age limits, background checks, and yes, some type of registration or ban concerning assault weapons. They would abandon the NRA completely.

Long ago, perhaps Pogo said it best: “We have met the enemy ... and he is us.”

6 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

John Hunter, Traverse City

spectator by stephen tuttle Our president, after saying he was going to slap a 25 percent tariff on steel and a 10 percent tariff on aluminum, said he believes trade wars are “good,” and winning them is “easy.” No, he really said that.

It seems to be a theory unique to him. Economists, historians, Republicans, Democrats and American companies who would be impacted were befuddled. The president’s chief economic adviser, Gary Cohn, resigned because of his opposition to the tariffs. There is no economic theory suggesting trade wars are good or ever won by anybody.

steel but from automation. Automated processing is quicker, more efficient, more reliable and cheaper in the long run. The future of blue collar industrial jobs is robotics; companies that refuse to move in that direction will surely be left behind.

The few jobs tariffs save will be offset by a peripheral job loss that could be substantial. When President Barack Obama slapped a tariff on imported Chinese tires in 2011, the idea was to save jobs in the American tire industry. And, according to the Peterson Institute for International Economics, about 1,200 jobs in the industry were saved.

China isn’t even in the top 10 of countries exporting steel to the United States. We import the most from Canada, Brazil, South Korea, and Mexico, all of whichare supposed to be allies.

We started the last real trade war in 1930 by passing the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act. With the Depression looming, the idea was to protect American farm prices from being undercut. But by the time Congress got through with it, there were hundreds of new tariffs on hundreds of products.

Countries around the world retaliated by imposing tariffs on American imports. Even Canada retaliated, slapping a tariff on eggs, which reduced our exports there by more than 90 percent. Overall, our exports fell 40 percent and, instead of jobs being protected, our unemployment rate soared to 25 percent.

Smoot-Hawley didn’t cause the Great Depression, but it guaranteed it would be worse and last longer. Trade wars are not good.

We’re now being told the tariffs are actually aimed at China’s underpriced dumping of steel on world markets. There aren’t enough dots to connect the logic.

China isn’t even in the top 10 of countries exporting steel to the United States. We import the most from Canada, Brazil, South Korea, and Mexico, all of which are supposed to be allies.

And several of the steel manufacturers in the United States that the tariffs supposedly protect aren’t American companies at all. A company from Luxembourg owns mills that produce 16 percent of the steel made in this country. Other steel operations are owned by companies from Russia, Mexico, and Brazil.

Tariffs on steel and aluminum, which consumers will end up paying, are especially costly.

Everything made with either product will cost more. That would include vehicles, engines, aircraft, light poles, cans, boats, construction beams, bridges, bicycles, appliances large and small, buildings ... it’s a very long list. And all of it will cost more. All of it.

There might be some short-term job savings for the steel industry. But their biggest job pressure comes not from cheaper imported

But since tires were more expensive, fewer were sold, and about 4,000 jobs in the retail end of the business were lost. As a bonus, China retaliated by putting a tariff on chicken parts imported from the United States, costing that industry about $1 billion.

Even our normally friendly and reliable trade partners will retaliate this time. The European Union has already indicated they will start with tariffs on blue jeans and bourbon and work their way up.

China’s most likely retaliation target is food products. That would hurt here at home.

Michigan exports nearly $3 billion worth of food products annually, and China is one of our top three customers. Greater expense to the Chinese consumer means lower sales for Michigan growers and companies, and that puts jobs at risk.

President Trump sees a single side of this equation; if foreign steel and aluminum costs more, we’ll buy more American steel and aluminum, and save American jobs. Unfortunately, he has ignored the second part: Dozens of consumer goods become more expensive, and American exports subject to retaliation decrease.

It is entirely possible, maybe even likely, the president will have changed his mind by the time you read this. He’s a bit mercurial that way, having now taken five positions on immigration and three on gun control. It seems to depend on whom he’s spoken with last.

The economy has been creeping along nicely. The bumps in the stock market have been both anticipated and necessary.

Real income is increasing, unemployment is low, entrepreneurship is at an all-time high. Increasing the cost of consumer goods and slowing our exports will offset every gain we’ve made since the dark days of the recession.

A trade war is economic folly. It isn’t a business deal or a reality show. And there won’t be anything “easy” about higher prices, higher unemployment, and higher discontent.

Crime & Rescue HASH COOK EXPLODES APARTMENT An explosion that blew out the walls of a Gaylord apartment was caused by a botched hash-oil cook, police said.

The people who live in the apartment were not present when police arrived the morning of March 3. They’d driven themselves to Otsego Memorial Hospital and were airlifted to a downstate hospital for burn treatment, police said. Tenants in adjacent apartments were not injured.

As emergency responders approached the scene, they noted a strong chemical odor and called in the state police drug-lab cleanup team, according to a Straits Area Narcotics Team press release.

In a search of the apartment, detectives found chemicals used to make hash and other signs of drug dealing such as empty cans of butane, syringes, digital scales, and marijuana.

MAN LEADS POLICE ON CHASE Deputies attempted to pull over a 35-year-old man for having no license plate, and the man led police on a chase through Garfield Township and Traverse City.

Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies followed the black Audi sedan on US-31 South near Market Place Circle as the driver headed north, turned onto 14th Street, travelled down some side streets, headed south on Veterans Drive, and then stopped on South Airport Road near Crossing Circle when deputies blocked his path.

Deputies arrested the Traverse City man for fleeing and eluding and driving without a license.

MAN FLEES, GETS ARRESTED A 26-year-old man sped away after state police attempted to pull over his vehicle in Cadillac.

Troopers on patrol March 3 tried to stop the vehicle for defective equipment and no plates, but the man drove off at a high rate of speed.

The troopers pursued the car, but when they caught up to it, the driver jumped out and fled on foot. The Cadillac man was captured after a short foot pursuit.

He faces charges of resisting arrest, driving while license suspended, failure to yield to an emergency responder, and operating an unregistered vehicle.

TEEN KILLED IN CRASH A 16-year-old boy was killed and a 16-year-old girl seriously injured in a Kalkaska County crash.

Seth Chopp, of Kalkaska, was killed in the crash, and Tori Wieling, of Mancelona, was taken to Munson Medical Center with serious injuries.

The teens were students at Kalkaska High School.

The crash occurred on the afternoon of March 6 on County Road 571, north of Meyers Road, in Excelsior Township.

Chopp was driving a 2011 Ford Focus. The car crossed the centerline and crashed head-on into a garbage truck. The driver of the truck, a 46-year-old Kalkaska man, was treated at the scene.

Kalkaska County Sheriff’s deputies are investigating and suspect speed may have been a factor in the crash.

WOMAN JAILED FOR ASSAULT A woman is accused of assaulting a neighbor after a domestic fight spilled into a next-door apartment.

Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies were called to a fight between a 27-year-old woman and a 25-year-old man at 7:07pm March 1 at an apartment in Blair Township.

by patrick sullivan psullivan@northernexpress.com

The man had gone into a neighboring apartment seeking refuge. The woman followed, forced her way in, and assaulted the 42-year-old female resident, causing bruises and minor cuts.

Deputies arrested the woman for breaking and entering and assault, and police determined she had a .27 blood alcohol content. The man was arrested for a probation violation.

FATAL FIRE UNDER INVESTIGATION A person was found dead following a fire that destroyed a Thompsonville home.

Dispatchers received a call about the fire at 1:50am March 6; when township firefighters arrived, they found the residence on Pine View Drive up in flames.

The homeowner, who was not in the residence, was contacted. Once the fire was extinguished, the home was searched, and a body was found in the bathroom of the residence. Manistee County Sheriff’s deputies identified the victim as 45-yearold Brethren resident Brian Brantley. They said preliminary autopsy results found no signs of injury and they are awaiting toxicology reports to determine the cause of death. The cause of the fire was under investigation.

FIVE SNOWMOBILES DESTROYED A late winter snow storm caused crashes across northern Michigan, including one in Cheboygan County that destroyed a pickup truck and five snowmobiles.

Sheriff’s deputies were called to a crash at 7:10pm March 6 on southbound I-75, where a 23-year-old Akron, Michigan, resident had crashed his 2007 Chevy Silverado while pulling a trailer that carried five snowmobiles.

The driver lost control on the slippery roadway and rolled over in the median. Deputies said all of the vehicles appeared to be destroyed.

A passenger, a 20-year-old Belding woman, suffered non-life threatening injuries and was taken to Otsego Memorial Hospital for treatment. Another passenger, a 22-year-old Unionville man, sought his own treatment for injuries.

METH FOUND IN JAIL SEARCH A Saginaw woman wanted downstate faces more trouble after jail personnel found methamphetamine in her bra during a search.

The woman was a passenger in a vehicle that was stopped by police at 1am March 4, Grand Traverse County Sheriff’s deputies said. The woman was taken to jail after deputies discovered that she was wanted on a downstate warrant.

She admitted she had a syringe that she told officers she’d used to inject meth. Officers searched further and found a small amount of drug in a bundle hidden in her bra, prompting deputies to request contraband charges against the woman.

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Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 7

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I put the word “budget” in quotation marks because what Congress is currently considering does not resemble anything you or I would call a “budget.” Webster’s defines “budget” as “money 2 Color: set7459 aside orBlue needed for a purpose.” The enormous PMS Light PMS 7462called Dark Blue sums for in the fiscal 2018 Defense Budget Proposal have not been “set aside,” nor is it clear they are “needed.”

The current request allocates $574.5 billion in the base budget, plus $64.6 billion for the wars in Iraq, Afghanistan, and 10 other locations that we never much talk about. Overall, the Pentagon is seeking $639.1 billion. That’s $1.75 billion per day, or a mind-boggling $73 million per hour.

This request exceeds by $52 billion the cap Congress established in 2011 to try to get

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Eisenhower foresaw exactly what has happened.

The “unwarranted influence” he predicted is upon us. The new Pentagon budget calls for purchasing 70 new F-35 jet fighters, but Congress wants to buy 90 of them. The Pentagon wants 14 F/A-18 jets for the Navy; Congress says we “need” 24. Congress upped the request for Boeing tankers from 15 to 17. Congress raised the Pentagon’s request for “Osprey” tiltrotor helicopters from 61 to 71, and Congress wants 20 C-130J transport airplanes that the Pentagon says it doesn’t need.

Overall, the Pentagon is seeking $639.1 billion.

That’s $1.75 billion per day, or a mind-boggling $73 million per hour. some control over defense spending. The idea was that the Pentagon would have to cut something, if it was going to add something — like how a budget is supposed to work. Instead, what was sent to Congress is a “wish list” with virtually no constraints.

The U.S. military is already second to none by any measure and is far ahead of Russia, China, or any other adversary in technology and capabilities, present and future. If you add our allies to the mix, the U.S. and NATO — plus friends like Japan, South Korea, Australia, and Israel —account for about 60 percent of global military expenditures. By comparison, the second largest defense budget in the world is China’s, estimated at about $215 billion this year. Adding Russia’s $70 billion brings their combined budgets to $285 billion. Just the president’s “plus up” of $52 billion above the cap equals 80 percent of Russia’s entire budget.

Every year, the U.S. spends more than twice as much as China and Russia combined.

But we’re constantly reminded of the threat posed by our adversaries, and Putin, in particular, plays into our fears by hyping his supposed super weapons. Never mind that his “new” weapons are little more than ideas.

His bombers operating in Syria tell us something.

Indeed, one demonstration for the media nearly wiped out the reviewing stand; another weapons demonstration ended with the missile destroying its own launcher. And Russian pilots were so incapable of operating from Russia’s lone aircraft carrier (we have 11) that the planes were moved to a base onshore. Perhaps Putin is copying President Reagan and wants us to spend ourselves into the poor house in much the same way that we maneuvered the Soviet Union into defense spending that it could not afford.

8 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

acquisition of unwarranted influence … by the military-industrial complex.” More recently, that has become the “military-industrialCongressional complex,” with retiring members of Congress hired as lobbyists by weapons manufacturers.

So, what is really happening here? Some might recall that back in 1961, outgoing President Eisenhower warned of a “conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry” whose “total influence — economic, political, even spiritual — is felt in every city, every state legislature, every office of the federal government.”

He added that “We must guard against the

Tucked away in the Energy Department budget is a 19 percent increase in the budget request for nuclear weapons, bring in to $11 billion.

This is the down payment on our plan to spend $1.4 trillion over 10 years to replace our entire nuclear arsenal. By the way, if you think all this spending is a brainchild of a Republicandominated government, sorry to disappoint.

You can blame the nuclear rearmament decision on President Obama. He gave the goahead to refurbish, replace, modernize, and “improve” our nuclear arsenal without even a discussion of whether we really “need” so many bombers or submarines, and why, in this era of hyper-accurate GPS we even still have landbased missiles, which are sitting ducks if we’re ever attacked.

Eisenhower had a strategist’s view of national defense. He saw that what made America strong was not only our weapons but all that supports them: our infrastructure, our educational system, our moral priorities.

Eisenhower consistently battled against the military-industrial complex throughout his eight-year presidency. His farewell speech addressed the longer-term dangers of spending beyond our means: “As we peer into society’s future, we … must avoid the impulse to live only for today, plundering … the precious resources of tomorrow. We cannot mortgage the material assets of our grandchildren without risking the loss also of their political and spiritual heritage.”

Eisenhower famously summed up the choice at hand, and we would do well to heed his message: “Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies, in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children.” Where are such voices today?

Jack Segal co-chairs, with his wife, Karen Puschel, the International Affairs Forum, whose next event is a presentation, led by University of Washington Professor Sara Curran, on the Rohingya Refugees. It will take place at 6 pm Thursday, March 15, at Milliken Auditorium.

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While You Were Sleeping As the medal ceremony for the men’s 1,000-meter speedskating competition concluded on Feb. 23 at the Gangneung Oval in Pyeongchang, South Korea, “serial streaker” Mark Roberts, 55, of Liverpool, England, jumped the wall and took to the ice. Roberts peeled off his tracksuit to reveal a pink tutu, a “penis pouch” with a monkey face on it, and “Peace + Love” scrawled on his torso. Although he might have lost points for an initial fall, he jumped up and continued performing a dance routine. Metro News recounts that Roberts has streaked at Wimbledon, the French Open and soccer matches, along with dog shows and other large events. He “retired” in 2013, saying “gravity’s against me,” but apparently he couldn’t resist the global exposure of the Olympics.

games, despite a WSU athletic department policy that prohibits players who are facing a felony charge from playing.

Ironies As the 2018 Winter Olympics got underway, and athletes from Russia were forced to compete under the Olympic flag and be designated as “Olympic Athletes from Russia” (OAR) as punishment for systemic doping at the 2014 Games in Sochi, Russian bobsledder Nadezhda Sergeeva proudly wore a T-shirt that read “I Don’t Do Doping.” But on Feb. 23, Sergeeva became the second Russian athlete to fail a doping test. (Russian curler Alexander Krushelnitsky also failed a drug test earlier in the Games.) Sergeeva was a vocal critic of the Olympic policy toward Russian athletes, telling Yahoo Sports, “If we are here, and we are clean, we should be able to walk under our flag.”

Special Delivery At the beginning of February, several residents along a block in Marina, California, were hit by mail thieves. But the criminals probably didn’t know what hit them when they stole Rosalinda Vizina’s package. SFGate.com reported that Vizina, an entomologist, had ordered 500 live cockroaches for a study she’s working on. “I feel a little bad for the roaches in case they got smushed or tossed or something like that,” Vizina told KSBW. “For the thieves, I hope they went everywhere,” she added.

Suspicions Confirmed District Judge Joseph Boeckmann, 72, took a personal interest in the young men who came through his courtrooms in Cross and St. Francis counties (Arkansas) from 2009 to 2015 with traffic citations or misdemeanor criminal charges. The Arkansas DemocratGazette reported that Judge Boeckmann routinely dismissed those charges pending “community service,” which Boeckmann would set up through private phone calls with the men, assigning them to provide sexual favors or allow Judge Boeckmann to take pictures of them in “embarrassing positions; positions that he found sexually gratifying,” a court document revealed. Boeckmann, of Wynne, Arkansas, admitted to the charges in October and was sentenced Feb. 21 to five years in prison. Prosecutors had agreed to a lesser sentence in light of Boeckmann’s age, but U.S. District Judge Kristine Baker ordered the maximum sentence, saying, “(H)e acted corruptly while serving as a judge. That sets his crime apart.”

Unclear on the Concept Washington State University senior Logan Tago, a football linebacker, received WSU’s Center for Civic Engagement Fall 2017 Community Involvement award on Feb. 1 for 240 hours of service to the local community, reported the WSU Daily Evergreen -- service he was ordered to give as a stipulation of his sentencing in January 2017 for third-degree assault. In June 2016, The Seattle Times reported, Tago allegedly hit a man with a six-pack of beer and later agreed to a plea deal that called for 30 days in the Whitman County jail, $800 in fines -and exactly 240 hours of community service.

Tago managed to play the final two games of the 2016 season and in all of 2017’s 13

Compelling Explanations On Feb. 9, the Texas 3rd Court of Appeals upheld the four-year prison sentence Ralph Alfred Friesenhahn, 65, of San Antonio received after his fourth DWI conviction in 2016, rejecting arguments from his lawyer, Gina Jones of New Braunfels, that the state’s legal limit for alcohol concentration discriminates against alcoholics, who have a higher tolerance for liquor. “You’re not being punished for being an alcoholic,” Sammy McCrary, chief of the felony division for the Comal County criminal district attorney’s office told the Austin American-Statesman.

“It’s the driving that’s the problem.”

TMI? On Feb. 20, little Jameson Proctor was born in St. Louis and a radio audience listened in as he came into the world. Cassiday Proctor, co-host of the “Spencer’s Neighborhood” show on The Arch in St. Louis, scheduled her C-section right in the middle of drive time and then invited listeners to share the moment when Jameson was born, at 7:45 a.m., through a broadcast phone call. “Our radio show is all about sharing our personal lives,” Proctor, 33, told The Telegraph. She also solicited ideas for names from her fans and received more than 400 submissions. “It was not something I wanted to keep private,” Proctor said.

Awesome!

The mining town of Kurri Kurri, Australia, cut loose on Feb. 24 with a new festival to draw visitors: Mullet Fest, a celebration of the infamous hairstyle and those who wear it. Local hairdresser Laura Johnson came up with the idea, which included contests (Junior Mullet and Ladies’ Mullet categories, and so forth) and bands (the Stunned Mullets from Karuah). Winner of the junior division prize, Alex Keavy, 12, told The Guardian: “It’s not a hairstyle, it’s a lifestyle.” He pledged to use his $50 prize to buy his girlfriend a pie.

More than 180 contestants competed for Best Mullet of Them All. Meryl Swanson, the local Labor MP and a contest judge, said she was “looking for pride, people embracing the mullet, finding self-worth in it.”

Can’t Possibly Be True A designer pop-up store in Seattle made news on Feb. 22 for one particular item: a clear plastic, drawstring shopping bag that sells for -- wait for it -- $590. United Press International reported the bag was first seen on Paris runways in January and sports the Celine Paris label along with warnings in several languages about the suffocation risk posed to babies.

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Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 9

By Patrick Sullivan

Michigan’s Most Remote Brewery

After years of planning and honing his beer-making skills, this spring, Patrick McGinnity plans to open Beaver Island’s first microbrewery.

Opening a craft brewery is challenging.

Opening one on a remote island in Lake Michigan that’s either a 15-minute plane ride or a two-and-a-half-hour ferry ride from the mainland — that’s on another level entirely.

The Northern Express talked to McGinnity about his Whiskey Point Brewing Co. and the challenges of making beer — and running a successful year-round business — on an island of 500+ people.

Northern Express: I read that a Coast Guard cutter had to break ice in order for fuel to be delivered to the island this week and saw on Facebook that you celebrated the fact that gasoline won’t have to be rationed. Does that happen there every winter?

Patrick McGinnity: No. It actually hasn’t happened since before I moved back here in 2013. The last time it happened, they cleared some of the harbor to try to get the [Beaver Island ferry boat] Emerald Isle out, basically to pick up tanker trucks with gasoline on them.

Express: So the Coast Guard cutter is out there right now.

McGinnity: Yes. There’s one of them out there right now, and there’s another, I believe, on the way.

Express: That’s an appropriate thing to be happening while we’re having this conversation. To open a brewery in the middle of Lake Michigan sounds like a daunting task.

McGinnity: To be honest, there are lots of challenges involved with starting a brewery here as opposed to on the mainland. First, there are all those supplies that have to get here, be it CO2, grains, hops, equipment, or packaging. We also have to plan ahead far enough in the fall so we don’t end up having to fly a pallet of malt over in order to brew for St. Patrick’s Day. Express: What other challenges have you faced as a result being in such a remote locale?

McGinnity: One of the challenges is that we don’t have a brewery down the street.

Charlevoix might be our next town, but it’s a long ways away, more financially than geographically. It’s expensive to go out and look at a couple of other breweries if you have to find out how they do something. That kind of isolation has been a little bit of a challenge.

It reminds me of when I was in high school and middle school here, when I decided that I wanted to play Dungeons and Dragons, but nobody else knew how to play it. So basically, I had to start reading everything and doing it, but didn’t have anybody who’d ever played a round, you know? You don’t know if you play it the way everybody else does. You play it the way you interpreted the rules.

Express: Sort of like learning a language from a book and having to guess how all of the words sound.

McGinnity: Exactly. You don’t have one experienced person who you can go to, who you can say, “Is this really what this sounds like?”

Photos by Frank Solle Photography

10 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

And then this is going to sound kind of silly, but one of the other challenges is we don’t

have a huge variety of beer available on the island. So to get members of the company familiar with various types of beer, we have to order online if we want to do a deep dive into Pilsners or something like that. There’s a store in Charleviox that will drop them off at the plane for us. You can’t just go to local beer shop. We’ve just got a couple stores that carry a pretty good variety, but [the variety offered] doesn’t change much.

Express: You’ve got be the most remote brewery in Michigan. Have you looked into it? Will you be the most out-of-the-way in the U.S.?

McGinnity: There’s actually one in Michigan that’s more remote, as the crow flies, by about a mile. It’s near Paradise, in Tahquamenon Falls State Park. It’s one mile farther from Sault Ste. Marie than we are from Charlevoix.

Express: Hold on. That doesn’t count. That’s not over water.

McGinnity: It kind of depends on how you describe it. You know, we’re the only one in Michigan you have to take a boat to get to, or a plane to get to.

Express: Is there another comparable brewery in the U.S.?

McGinnity: I think probably the most comparable would be the Monhegan Brewing Co. in Maine. They are at least an hour offshore, but of course the boat runs year-round because it’s saltwater. It’s run by a lobster fisherman, his wife, and, I think, his father-in-law. He brews beer in the offseason. The business is open year-round, like ours will be, but things just have to be really dialed down for the really slow season.

It’s not like people can just drive an extra 15 minutes to get to you. They’ve got to do a lot more to get here.

Express: Why did you name the brewery Whiskey Point?

McGinnity: There’s two reasons. The not-verysexy reason is that there’s a Beaver Island Brewing Co. in Minnesota that’s been in operation for quite a while and obviously they have the name the trademark. The other reason, though, is I like the idea of this historical landmark that ties to the brewery. [McGinnity’s brewery is located halfway between the island’s ferry dock and Whiskey Point, a spot on the bay where mid19th Century settlers traded with Native Americans.] I’m very interested in the history of the island, and I like the idea of having a name that’s historically oriented rather than just the name of the island as a whole.

Express: What do you have planned for your first few beers?

McGinnity: We have the obligatory IPA. I love IPAs, I love a lot of hops flavor and character — but without a huge amount of alcohol. So big IPAs aren’t my thing. We have an amber ale that’s one of my favorite beers that I’ve ever brewed. We have a porter, because there’s always somebody asking for the dark beer. And the fourth regular beer will probably be a lager, once we get up and rolling. And the last one — we’re going to have five taps — we’ll have one of those be something experimental, nothing too weird, because we’re not really competing with other breweries, but hopefully we’ll try out some fun things, see if we can mix up the rotation a little bit.

Express: I understand you’ve identified a local hop that’s unique to the island and

now grows wild. What do you know about that hop, and what do you know about the history of brewing on the island?

McGinnity: Unfortunately, there’s not a whole lot of documented history of brewing on the island. It may be one of those things that was taken for granted at the time, and a lot of folks didn’t mention it when they were brewing their own beer early on. But I’m fairly certain that there were some house beers around the island.

We’ve found different varieties of hops at several farms. The one that I like the best I think might actually be a landrace hop [a hop cultivar that’s been selectively bred and becomes particularly well-suited to its environment]. It might even be native to the island, I’m not really sure. But it was found in a wooded area that’s never been a farm as far as anyone knows. I’m hoping to be able to develop this hop more, because it doesn’t taste or smell anything like the ones that I’ve purchased and grown here, but it has a really pleasant aroma, and I like the characteristics of it a lot. This spring I’d like to replace everything in my very small hop yard with offshoots of just this one plant.

Express: It sounds like it could develop your own distinctive signature beer.

McGinnity: Yes. I think it could be very exciting. I have this ambition: I’d like to brew a beer where all of the ingredients come from Beaver Island — but with no real farming infrastructure, trying to grow barley here would be a stretch. Maybe someday in the future. But to brew some beer with all Beaver Island hops, that would be great.

Express: What are the local ingredients that you could use?

McGinnity: I’m working on an IPA that uses juniper berries. We’ve got plenty of junipers.

There’s spruce tips that are used in a lot of the hoppy IPAs. There’s tons of things.

Cranberries. And of course apples. We’ll also

have a winemaking license and be able to do ciders. Mead. Things like that.

as we can. It should be an amazing place to hang out and have a beer come this summer.

Express: Tell me about the brewery’s home.

You’re going to be located in old storefront near the bay, and it looks like you’ve had to a lot of work to get into shape. What’s the story of that building, and what’s it been like turning it into a brewpub?

Express: If I understand correctly, you are lucky that you’re on an island without too many other distractions because in addition to opening a brewery, brewing beer, getting licensed, and renovating the building, you are also the island’s full-time librarian, and you and your wife, Larissa, are raising three children.

McGinnity: The land itself was purchased from King Jesse Strang in the 1800s. The building was built between 1901 and 1903 by a man named John Grill. I just found a piece of wood with his name stamped on it — it was part of a packing crate that had been sent to the island. He built the building for the Beaver Island Lumber Company, which used it as their lumber company store, a general store. At the time I’m assuming it may have been the main or the only store on the island. In the ’30s it was purchased by the McDonaugh family, and they turned it into a grocery store, and it’s still in the same family.

They have a larger store next-door to it now.

For the last 20 years or so, it was a wooden boat shop.

Express: And then the place became available…

McGinnity: Last spring that unit became vacated because the St. James Boat Shop built a new building nearby, and so we immediately jumped on the opportunity to have a space right on the harbor, an historic building with a lot of character. The building project actually turned out to be quite extensive. We had to update pretty much all of the plumbing, electrical, HVAC. All that kind of stuff, because we’re changing the use of it and inviting the public in, so it’s got to be up to code. And then we’re also adding the fact that we are doing manufacturing in there, so the brewing side has to be equipped for the brewing systems and the fermentation. It’s been quite an undertaking, but I’m honored to be working in such an old building with a lot of artifacts. We’re doing everything we can to preserve as much of it

McGinnity: It’s good that I don’t have too many other breweries to go to because it allows me to spend my free time at our brewery working on things instead of drinking other people’s beer [laughs]. It has been incredibly busy, but I’m sure it’s going to be a lot more busy once it’s an open place, because right now if I’m tired, and I don’t want to go work [on the brewery], I just don’t do it. Once we’re open, we’ll just have to make sure we have staffing in place so I can occasionally take an evening off.

Express: When do you plan to open?

McGinnity: If we’re not open and operational

by Memorial Day weekend, I’d be really surprised. I think we’ll be open before then, but there are just too many things that are contingent upon other things right now.

Express: What do you think opening of a new brewery means for the island?

McGinnity: There’s a lot of people that kind of shake their head and they say, “I don’t know.

This is a tough place to run a business.” And I agree. But this is a very rewarding place to run a business. And if we could bring some positive changes to the economy, that would be a very gratifying thing for me.

I think it’s something that Beaver Island needs right now. Something fresh and new that will let people see that a lot of things are possible.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 11

Stormcloud’s Forecast: 100 percent chance of growth With demand at the Frankfort brewpub and retail outlets exceeding even its founders expectations, five-year-old Stormcloud Brewing Co. has opened a (giant) second facility just a mile from its first.

The Northern Express goes inside.

By Ross Boissoneau When Rick Schmitt and Brian Confer opened Stormcloud Brewing Company in downtown Frankfort in 2013, they were taking a chance. Another brewery in another small northern Michigan town — would it make it?

Not only has Stormcloud made it, it turns out its founders didn’t plan big enough. The twosome has just opened a new production facility on the other side of Frankfort, which offers greater capacity and plenty of space for more if they need it.

Expanding the footprint wasn’t really part of the plan. “Not necessarily,” said Confer when asked if it was their original goal. If it had been, he said, “When we put together a business plan we would have included this, too.”

But once the pair had made the decision to add a second, larger brewing facility, he said it was only logical to include a small tasting room there as well, even though it’s just a mile away from their first. The two partners say they are not worried about cannibalizing their own customers. “It’s crowded in the existing pub, especially for those who just want to sample and buy beer. We sell more food than beer. That wasn’t our model when we started.

Plus, parking can be an issue [at the downtown location],” said Schmitt.

12 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

Most importantly, the new facility will more than double Stormcloud’s brewing capacity, with plenty of room for growth, should it prove necessary. (Hint: They think it will.)

Stormcloud’s downtown Frankfort brewery today has the capacity to brew 1,200 barrels annually. At the new facility: “We can do 4,000 barrels. Plus there’s room for further expansion.

We’re already set for the next round — 10,000 (barrels) are possible here,” said Confer.

Beyond the crowds downtown, the demand for Stormcloud beer offsite and downstate has made the growth necessary, and in return, the brewery is preparing to not only feed the demand but also stoke it.

The new facility will house an automated canning line, which will can the brewery’s two most popular beers, Rainmaker Ale and Whiled Away IPA. The company also plans to handbottle a selection of its traditional Belgian ales in small quantities. The downtown Frankfort facility will continue brew small batches as well.

Rainmaker and Whiled Away IPA are two of the eight beers Stormcloud regularly keeps on tap. Then there are eight others that rotate seasonally, plus various specialty beers. They might even include beers developed by home brewers, such as Arruda’s Doppelbock and Priddle’s Porter, winners in Frankfort Beer Week’s homebrew contests in 2017 and 2015 respectively. All told, Stormcloud has crafted over 100 beers since its inception.

Its distribution footprint is still in the early stages but will include 19 Spartan stores, Blarney Castle convenience stores, and five Meijer stores in northern and western Michigan, with distributors seeking more. All told, they anticipate 140 points of sale.

The facility itself is striking, a blend of midcentury modern and industrial. It was designed

by Byce & Associates of Kalamazoo, which also has provided architectural design and engineering for Bell’s Brewery and Imperial Beverage, as well as universities, retirement communities, nature centers, law enforcement facilities, and a host of other uses. “It would have been easier and cheaper to build a pole barn, but we wanted Benzie County to be proud of it.

We wanted to build something everyone would be excited about,” said Schmitt.

That sense of pride and responsibility extends to the use of solar panels to provide electricity. “It should largely power our

Leaping Leprechaun

Sale!

Brewer Brian Confer, and Rick Schmitt

tasting room. It’s the right thing to do,” said Schmitt. He and Confer anticipate opening the tasting room Memorial Day weekend. It will be smaller than the downtown Frankfort brewpub, but there will be room outside for those who’d like to quaff a beverage while enjoying nature — a beer garden, if you will.

Beer enthusiasts may even want to check out both Stormcloud facilities, as the tasting room at the brewing facility will often offer brews not on tap at the brewpub.

Confer and Schmitt been heartened and gratified by the response they’ve gotten from friends and customers, though they don’t exactly say they’re surprised. “We couldn’t be more pleased. We are two years farther ahead [of their initial projections], but we dream big,” said Schmitt.

The new Stormcloud Brewing facility will soon feature a tasting room and retail store, but it is not yet open to the public. You can, however, enjoy a Stormcloud beer at its brewpub at 303 Main Street in Frankfort or from a number of retailers. Find them at Stormcloudbrewing.com.

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Find us on Facebook Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 13

THE MORNING

AFTER These 3 elixirs promise to prevent or fix your hangover.

We put them to the test.

By Lynda Wheatley There’s only one surefire way to avoid a St. Patrick’s Day hangover: Stay home, swallow some corned beef and cabbage, then go to bed. But if you’re like most American revelers who head out on March 17, you’ll likely find that a pint of Guinness often leads to two or three. Fact is, despite the best of intentions, hangovers happen.

That said, we armed you last New Year’s Eve with hangover cures that came courtesy of the area’s bartenders. In honor of St. Pat’s, we’re going one better. Here, we give you a trio of Express-tested hangover cures — all of which you can order in advance from Amazon and have delivered in time for the big green day.

DRINKWEL drinkwel (not to be confused with Drinkwell, the drinking fountains for pets) claims to be the world’s first daily multivitamin created specifically “for healthy people who drink alcohol.” We gave three capsules to our vegetarian friend, Diana, which she swallowed, as directed, right before she spent a long evening making a series of bad decisions — a heavy mix of house-made margaritas, several vodka martinis, and (at this point we all lost track) a soup of spiced rum, cream, and nutmeg poured over ice cream.

Formulated by an unnamed naturopathic physician and (also unnamed) person with a PhD in biomedical science, drinkwel capsules are stuffed with a hefty combination of vitamins and minerals (the highest doses are of Vitamin C, B12, and thiamine); a proprietary detox blend (N-acetyl-cystine, taurine, and alpha lipoic acid); and a proprietary blend of super fruits and botanicals (reishi mushrooms; artichoke leaf powder; extracts of milk thistle, green tea, and rhodiola rosea; and more).

You’re supposed to take three with food and water before you drink, and three, with water, after drinking. For obvious reasons, Diana failed to take the second batch. However, she claims she woke up feeling pretty good, despite a more-than-average amount and combination of spirits. She said she had a slight headache, but noted that she often does in the morning.

Final assessment: “The pills themselves are like taking any herbal supplement in that they smell gross and taste like eating leaves, but even if the pills don’t totally cure a hangover, they’re filled with vitamins and minerals, so they seem like a healthy thing to do anyway.”

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AS LUCK

WOULD HAVE IT...

Cheers to another March at the Mountain fun Saturday! March 17th, celebrate St. Patrick’s Day with the Pot of Gold challenge, Green Beer in the Vista Lounge, Kayak on the Snow race, Celtic dancing, Slush Cup and more!

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LIQUIDI.V. HYDRATION MULTIPLIER Although not technically touted to be a hangover cure, LiquidI.V. popped up in our search for popular hangover helpers.

Two collegiate athletes, sick of the high-sugar/chemical components of other sports drinks, partnered with “a group of world-renowned nutrition scientists to create a line of … products based on a breakthrough nutrientdelivery system.” That system, they say, utilizes “cellular transport technology” to infuse your bod with 11 essential vitamins and minerals

and more than three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks, with less than half the sugar and calories.

Due to the ease of use — pour one packet into 16 ounces of water when you feel like crap — and its projected palatability — we chose lemon-lime flavor — several friends volunteered to try this one. Steve, Diana’s partner, was delivered a 16-ounce glass of LiquidI.V. while he languished in bed following a night of beer and rum. His reaction: “Wow, this tastes really good.” He later credited the hydrating liquid with getting him out of bed and moving. I had a similar experience. My vice was vodka and St. Germain, but because I have a tendency to feel like a steel rod has penetrated my left eye after I drink most any alcohol, I downed my LiquidI.V. packet before bed. And I sprang out like a spring chicken the next morning, minimal headache.

Final assessment: Our final guinea pig, Todd, estimated he drank roughly “a twoliter’s worth of Bell’s Two Hearted” and woke up at 4 a.m. with a mouth that “tasted like the bottom of Ghandi’s sandal.” By 9 a.m., he added a packet of LiquidI.V. to his list of already-imbibed items — water, Excedrin, coffee, and Aleve. By noon, he said he felt like he would live. Although we can’t be certain the water, Excedrin, coffee, Aleve, or cellular transport technology deserves the credit, we feel fairly sure that LiquidI.V. does manage to do something worthwhile.

ACTIVATED CHARCOAL Activated charcoal might just be the latest allpurpose hipster snake oil.

Its adherents and peddlers claim it whitens teeth, unclogs pores, eliminates bloat, and, when swallowed with copious amounts of water, binds to toxins and flushes them out your liver, bloodstream, intestines, and colon, leaving you with more energy, glowing skin, and better overall health. Its user, who asked to remain nameless, can really only testify to the colon flushing: “It wasn’t pretty, but I’m pretty sure it meant it worked.”

Following a night of vodka cocktails and sparkling wine, our user woke with a pounding headache and a nauseous stomach. As directed, she mixed a teaspoon of activated charcoal to 10 ounces of water and tried — but failed — to slam the swill. It should be mentioned that, whether activated charcoal works or not, the act of ingesting gray water when you have a hangover is daunting. And if you finally muster the will, your worst fears are confirmed: This crap tastes like dusty cement. A quick internet search, however, revealed the addition of lemon juice, honey, and a pinch of salt would and did make the drink more palatable. Another liter of plain water later, our subject was completely flushed, of not only her hangover but also, it appeared, a lifetime’s worth of toxins.

Final Assessment: “The powder is so ridiculously fine, it makes a total mess, which is the last thing I want when I’m already hurting.

It also looks and tastes so gross that, again, with a hangover, sucks. But I think it actually worked. Or maybe just all the water did. I don’t know, but I’d try it again, but maybe with activated charcoal capsules instead of powder.”

Can We Choose Our Beliefs?

Scott’s statement Why is it about belief? Christianity calls on people to believe in Jesus, to accept and revere the narrative that Jesus is divine yet suffered death as a human. And the event is said to somehow provide a path to being accepted by God and living eternally with him in paradise. But we must believe the story to participate in this.

Why would the ability to believe an implausible story be Scott Blair the central criteria in determining who is fit to know God? Blair is a conHow is it virtuous to strive to believe something inconsissultant in the tent with the observable workings of the world around us? wastewater treatNonetheless, many do strive to believe and succeed at it. ment field and Some may even find it easy. Perhaps for these people, belief president of the is, in fact, a choice.

Grand Traverse Humanists.

But not everyone is able to choose what to believe.

Some of us are not as affected by rituals or cultural suggestion. We might not be disposed to interpret our most impactful emotions as the influence of supernatural forces surrounding us.

A LOCAL PASTOR I am fortunate to live during a time when we can discover so much about how nature works. I can see the coherence of its underlying rules and the inviolable compliance of all things with them. I see how the richness of our world and human experience spring from them. I can no more believe that Jesus was born to a virgin and rose after death than I can, by force of will, believe that the Sleeping Bear Dunes were formed by a bear waiting for cubs to swim across Lake Michigan. How could a god hold me accountable to achieve a state of mind of which I am incapable — with eternal consequences?

When one earnestly seeks to align his or her beliefs with what is real, it becomes impossible to choose what one believes. Truths must be discovered. If we “choose” them, they will be only our own motivated constructions. A person can either choose beliefs or choose to conscientiously pursue truth, but cannot do both.

Bill’s statement Our beliefs are formed from many sources. As children, we are taught by parents and teachers, siblings and friends, pastors and Sunday school teachers. Some of their beliefs become our own. We learn by observation and experience. We touch snow and discover cold, touch fire and discover heat, touch water and discover wet.

As we age, we hold fast to some of our childhood beliefs and exchange others for more mature and nuanced Rev. Dr. William C. Myers beliefs. We grow in our capacity to think reasonably and Senior Pastor critically. We differentiate ourselves from others. We at Presbyterian create a worldview bearing the marks and influence of Church of those around us and of our cultural context, yet uniquely Traverse City our own.

For people of faith, there’s another layer of influence shaping our beliefs. We have the witness of Holy Scripture, the testimony of those who’ve come before, and the teachings and doctrines of our faith communities. We also have the gift of divine revelation.

With so many sources influencing and ATHEIST DEBATE shaping our beliefs, it raises the question: Are we able to choose our beliefs? It would seem the answer is both yes and no. Like the age-old nature or nurture question, the process creating and informing our beliefs can be far more complex than might first appear.

Born into a different cultural context (e.g., family of origin, religious tradition, social class, and racial, ethnic, and gender identity), I might hold some of the beliefs I do today, but many might have changed. Regardless of my cultural context, I have the capacity and freedom to reason and change my beliefs. Being a person of faith, my beliefs are informed by my faith community, religious tradition, and the grace of God. In matters of faith and life, I’m free to embrace God’s word and do God’s will, or not. I’m free to reason and to question, to be informed by my cultural context, or to reject its bias and prejudice. But I can do none of these things apart from the grace of God!

CROSSED

Bills’s reply Our beliefs inform our actions, and our actions reflect our true beliefs. This is the simplest answer to Scott’s question, “Why is it about belief?” Jesus has a heart for people who are poor. If I believe in Jesus and what he stands for, I, too, will have a heart for people who are poor. I will say and do things that reflect a generous and compassionate spirit toward people living in spiritual and material poverty. If I am callous toward people who are poor, or show apathy, then my behavior should raise questions about my true beliefs. What Scott doesn’t realize (because he chooses not to see?) is that people of faith are pursuing truth by earnestly aligning our beliefs with what is real: God!

AND A LOCAL

Scott’s reply Bill describes beliefs as something emerging from culture, upbringing, religious teachings, experience, and one’s own thinking to form a composite uniquely one’s own — like a personality! I agree; this is often how people’s conceptions of reality are formed. But should it be?

Let’s look at a subset of all human-held beliefs: those we share. That the earth orbits the sun is widely understood. Math is the same in all cultures.

The physics that make cellphones work is undoubtedly widely accepted since phones are used everywhere. Practical application drives the alignment of beliefs with the rules of nature. This increases beliefs held in common among people. I suggest that in addition to the utility of it, we also can choose the careful empirical approach to forming beliefs for truth’s sake. And we should. It works better.

Agree statement Scott and Bill agree that while we might have some freedom in choosing how we form our beliefs, we cannot choose what is ultimately real.

In our pursuit of understanding, the atheist and theist might not agree on what kind of experience constitutes evidence but do agree that reason must be part of the process.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 15

Paul Simon

SKIPPER'S ALLEY Psst, a little birdy told me there are still a few Rare Bird Mug Club memberships available. $150 for a lifetime membership.

The mug gets you 20oz pours of Rare Bird Beer for $4, (They are usually at least $5 for 16oz), $1 off all other draft beers, 15% off merchandise, $8 growler fills, and your very own handmade mug!

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For Ticketing Information Blissfest.org or 231-348-7047

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Easter at Stafford's Sunday, April 1, 2018 Spring after spring, decade after decade, we honor and celebrate this holiday of growth and renewal. We would be honored if you joined us this Easter.

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16 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

Come enjoy the ultimate Irish holiday at

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Traverse City’s only authentic Irish pub! We will be featuring a special Irish food menu, fresh hand-crafted Irish beers and the best Irish music in the best Irish pub!

The fun starts on Monday March 12th and continues through St. Patrick’s Day on the 17th.

visit www.kilkennyspub.com for all the details!

400 W Front St, Traverse City, MI 49684

St. Patrick’s

The One Day When Everyone’s Blood Runs Green

By Clark Miller May misfortune follow you the rest of your life, but never catch up. — Irish toast No one likes a buzzkill. So this St. Patrick’s Day, let there be rivers of green beer, a parade through Traverse City, and enough revelers of real (or imagined) Irish ancestry to make a respectable showing downtown.

The celebration of Ireland’s patron saint falls on a weekend — Saturday, March 17 — so it’s sure to be quite the celebration this year.

The epicenter of all non-church-related events is Kilkenny’s Irish Pub. But Mike Shirley, a longtime member of the local chapter of the Ancient Order of Hibernians, an American-Catholic-Irish(ish) charity, assures us that local bars of all heritage will participate with glee.

“I hear it’s their No. 1 day of the year,” he said.

He should know.

To Mike and his Hibernian brothers, the high holy days are Easter, Palm Sunday, and Christmas. St. Patrick’s Day, on the other hand, they call “the holiest of days.” (Which should not obscure the good works the brothers do for the Father Fred Foundation.)

So, no killing of buzzes here.

But — notice how the word “but,” always raises its head? — it might be fun to learn how the highest of all holy days became so soaked in American-ness.

GREEN BEER Green beer is a case in point. It’s supposed to remind us of the Emerald Isle, shamrocks, and lovable but ornery leprechauns. Oddly, though, green beer is definitely not an Irish thing. Dropping blue dye (yes, blue) into beer sprang from the mind of coroner’s physician Thomas H. Curtin, who in the early 1900s

thought to color beer green for the enjoyment of his New York social club.

Obviously, it caught on.

By 1910, the Spokane News had already given green beer this decidedly mixed review: “It tastes like beer and looks like paint.” At least that beats the other way around.

Even so, Alli Correia, assistant manager of Kilkenny’s, won’t be turning any of her beers green. ‘’It’s a mess, and it’s not really an Irish tradition. Also, it might affect flavor,” she says.

PARADES Also consider the St. Patrick’s Day parade through Traverse City. It has become a timehonored tradition thanks, of course, to our Hibernian brothers who have been hosting it for 40 years.

Still, the St. Patrick’s Day fervor in America surprises an Irish friend of mine.

“It wasn’t until I visited Chicago that I first heard about the green river and parades,” she says. “In Ireland it’s more of a religious holiday, especially for Catholics, but for Protestants, too. And some don’t celebrate at all. People mostly go to church, then have a quiet meal with their family.”

To me, that sounds like the opposite of a parade time. Could it be … Irish as spoilsports? That seems impossible.

ST. PATRICK NOT IRISH? Maybe the more restrained celebration in Ireland is because St. Patrick wasn’t Irish. Not a drop of him. He made two trips to Ireland, though, and that should count for something.

The first time, he came as a slave.

After six years of that, he’d had enough, and escaped back to Roman Britain.

There, he had a vision, which seems to be something saints often have.

His was twofold: First, he saw that he was

to become a priest. Second, he was to return to Ireland. As a former slave there, that’s would have stopped me cold, but Patrick believed he had a job there: to convert as many lost souls as possible to Catholicism.

One more thing about St. Patrick. Don’t blame the guy for all the malarkey about him running the snakes out of Ireland. By all accounts, there were no snakes in the country at the time, and there still aren’t. To pretend otherwise would be like us saying Gordie Howe ran all the purple elephants out of Michigan. After all, do you see any?

HOW TO MAKE YOURSELF IRISH All of that said, those of us who stay here year-round know: We need some levity in the middle of Up North winters. But — man, that word again! — should that open the tap, so to speak, for Americans “playing the Plonker” (Irish slang for fool) after too much vitamin G (Guinness)?

The Irish even have a name for Americans who take on the accoutrements of Irishness and then take it a stitch too far: Plastic Paddy.

As my compatriot from the Old Country describes it so well, these are the non-natives who go “do-lally in the head,” “barking mad,” and — my favorite — “away with the fairies.”

None of that’s for you, right?

I’ve met American fiddlers who identify so strongly with Irish tunes they begin talking (sort of) like they were born in Dublin instead of Detroit. They are not alone. My Irish friend recently met an American who, despite no ties to the old country, had a bad case of the Plastic Paddy, this urgent need to “outIrish” the Irish.

“As soon as he found out where I’m from, he started into a truly bad imitation of an Irish accent and wouldn’t quit,” she says. “It was hard not to laugh, but I didn’t.”

She let this guy got off easy. She could

have called him a Gombeen, or eejit, or any number of other Gaelic slurs.

As Irish journalist Valerie Loftus points out, “For a country so small, we certainly have no shortage of ways to insult and upset each other.”

WHY DO WE SO LOVE THE IRISH? I’ve always wondered about the fascination with all things Irish. As it turns out, so has my Irish friend, who tells me, “If you figure it out, let me know.”

There are theories.

Mike Shirley, the Hibernian brother, boils it down to three things: “They’re friendly, they speak English, and they’re Catholic.” Out of respect, I don’t point out that Protestants hold a slight edge in Northern Ireland and, gasp, they’re even a known quantity in the Republic.

But in writing this, I notice that for most people, “Ireland” doesn’t seem to extend very far North, maybe because of the “Troubles” and all.

My Irish friend freely acknowledges that her people can be testy. “They don’t suffer fools easily,” she says. “They’ll take the mickey [i.e., spunk] right out of you, especially if you’re talking gibberish about the Irish.”

That, my St. Patrick’s Day revelers, sounds like a warning. In other words, she’s pleasantly suggesting that on this holiest of days we be: • Dog wide and not a dosser (i.e., Be extra vigilant and not a lazy lout).

• Go light on the drink link (i.e., Avoid extra trips to the ATM for more drinking money).

• Not come home all flitters and fluthered (i.e., Don’t come home on St. Patrick’s Day all tattered and drunk).

There’s simpler advice, too, she adds.

Develop some Irish charm; it’s also a national trait. And remember the right answer to this old question: What is Irish diplomacy?

It’s the ability to tell a man to go to hell, so that he will look forward to making the trip.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 17

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Abuzz in Petoskey The other Up North city by the bay is quickly becoming the latest hotbed for wine, beer, and spirits

By Ross Boissoneau On the north side of Petoskey, there are the Victorian cottages and music of Bay View.

On the south, there’s the appeal of tony Bay Harbor, with golf, equine and water activities, and the upcoming opening of the Great Lakes Center for the Arts.

North, south, and in between, Petoskey is quietly becoming a haven for wine, craft beer, and craft spirits. Chamber of Commerce President Carlin Smith said the timing is fortuitous, happening in concert with the current emphasis on agri-tourism. “The growth is happening in Petoskey with regard to the trends in Michigan and the U.S.,” he said. “Traverse City was ahead of the curve. I’m excited we’re catching up.”

Start with the Bayview Wine Trail. It is a part of the newly-established Tip of the Mitt American Viticultural Area, which encompasses 2,760 square miles throughout Alpena, Antrim, Charlevoix, Cheboygan, Emmet, and Presque Isle Counties. Though its 10 wineries extend from Alanson to Harbor Springs, the bulk of the wineries boast Petoskey addresses.

Tracie and Andy Roush, who moved to Petoskey six years ago, are a forerunner. They began planting their first vines of what would be Petoskey Farms Vineyard and Winery in 2014.

“We’d heard people were planting grapes up here.

We thought how cool it would be to be on the cutting edge,” said Tracie. Today they’re among the region’s most established wineries, with a facility at the farm and a tasting room downtown.

Theirs is just one of the Petoskey-based establishments. Maple Moon Sugarbush & Winery, Rudbeckia Farm & Winery, Walloon Lake Winery, and Resort Park Cidery and Winery have joined the oldest kid on the block, Mackinaw Trail Winery, whose Upper Peninsula winery opened a Petoskey tasting room in 2014.

“We have relationships with every winery.

We’re cheerleaders for each other. We want each other to do well,” said Tracie. “We want people to go back to Chicago, Detroit, Ohio and say ‘You’ve got to go to this new wine trail.’”

Her husband said that while Petoskey has long been a favored spot for vacations, he sees the burgeoning craft alcohol scene as a catalyst for increased development. “We’re absolutely primed for growth,” said Andy Roush, referring both to the craft alcohol industry and tourism.

The Roushs opened their tasting room last year in the space formerly occupied by Beards Brewery. The location was available because Beards was expanding and moved into the onetime Whitecaps restaurant location. “We grew pretty fast,” said Ben Slocum, who opened the brewery with Peter Manthei in 2012, when both were in their mid-20s.

So fast that in six years they opened an additional brewing facility in Charlevoix before moving the Petoskey operation to 215 East Lake Street, just blocks from the original location. The twosome is looking forward to their first summer with the outdoor patio in addition to the indoor space, which Slocum says is eight to 10 times larger than their old digs. They also have new fermenters, which will allow for greater distribution.

At about the same time Beards opened, Lou Gotzinger and Patrick Dowd decided to take up the mantle of the town’s first brewery.

Petoskey Brewing is located in the building from which Petoskey Sparkle beer was brewed from 1898 to 1915.

Besides its historical significance, Dowd said the building sits atop an Artesian well they use for brewing. “There are Artesian wells all over the place — Harbor Springs, Petoskey, Indian River — we drilled down to a Lake Superior aquifer. There’s no filtration. You can’t find [this water] anywhere else.”

Michigan ranks fifth in the nation in the number of breweries, microbreweries, and brewpubs. Representing Petoskey in addition to Beard’s and Petoskey Brewing is Tap 30. It champions a variety of craft beers from Michigan and elsewhere, such as Shorts, Founders, and Cheboygan Brewing Company, alongside beers from Oregon, Chicago, and even Alaska.

Partners David Meikle and Steve Steffes saw

an opportunity to use the building they bought and were refurbishing to provide a craft beer experience and a dining middle ground they saw lacking in Petoskey restaurants: “There was high-end [dining] and pubs,” said Meikle.

They opted to follow up Tap 30 with a higher-end restaurant of their own, right next door: Pour. “There are a lot of great restaurants with a wine list, but a small [number that offer wine] by the glass. At Pour we offer every wine by the glass. People can try a flight,” he said. Pour also offers a variety of what Meikle “curated cocktails.” All told, it has over 200 spirits, 50 wines, and 15 beers available.

With its sparkling waters, Petoskey has been a tourist draw for decades. Adam and Michael Kazanowski, a.k.a. the Gypsy Brothers, along with their pal Michael Kolkmeyer saw those waters as the perfect place to base their company, High Five Spirits. The company is based around their flagship Gypsy Vodka, and they’ve since added Petoskey Stone Gin. They anticipate opening their tasting room by next month at the latest in — where else? — downtown Petoskey.

Adam said they started their company in Petoskey for a number of reasons, from the welcoming business climate to the influx of summer visitors. “Everyone has kind of a crush on it. Petoskey is sexy,” he said.

Prominent in their decision-making was the area’s quality of — and access to — water.

“From Harbor Springs to Alanson, there are a lot of Artesian wells. Sixty percent of spirits are water-based,” Kazanowski said. They use a mix of artesian well water and filtered water from their customized watering system.

Kazanowski said the cooperative spirit among the various entrepreneurs is refreshing.

“Everyone is happy, cooperating, not competing. Everyone is in it together.”

Andy Roush said there is plenty of room for growth, and compares Petoskey with another northern Michigan city that has seen such industries help it grow. “We’re still small. We’re not competing with California wines, we’re not

in Meijer,” he said. “Petoskey is like Traverse City 15 years ago.”

Smith said the city’s reputation regarding the wine, craft brewing, and distilling scene is growing, and it’s bringing more people to the area. “They’ve added to energy to the community. They’ve created some cool spaces.

People are starting to know about and ask about it. They’re coming in to the Chamber office asking ‘Where are your wineries?’ I think it will continue to grow,” Smith said.

Slocum goes him one better, as he looks for other young business people to continue to make their mark. “There are a lot of young entrepreneurs. There are half a dozen [places] owned by younger folks. That was missing. I hope in 10 years I’m not considered one of the young business owners.”

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 19

Underdog on Top

A decade ago, amid the bleakest economy in nearly a century, a hairstylist/real estate appraiser with minimal beer-making experience opened an eclectic little brewery on a ragged alley outside of Traverse City’s downtown.

Against all odds, Russell Springsteen’s Right Brain Brewing survived, and then went on to show legions of beer lovers and brewers just how good going your own way can be.

By Craig Manning On the one hand, when the business opened its doors in January 2008, the landscape wasn’t exactly looking hospitable for entrepreneurs. As Russell Springsteen recalls, the economy was in the process of tanking, barreling toward the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression.

On the other hand, Springsteen could hardly have timed things better in terms of beating a trend. When Right Brain put down roots on Garland Street — then a gritty assemblage of ramshackle shops and storage buildings and now the Warehouse District, home to hip shops, galleries, an upscale eatery and boutique hotel — it was just the third brewery in town. The other two, North Peak and Mackinaw brewing companies, were long-time local favorites. Today, Traverse City is a thriving beer town, home to some dozen microbreweries. Springsteen caught the craft beer wave and rode it to success.

As it turned out, the power of craft beer outweighed the doldrums of a broken economy.

Right Brain Brewery officially marked its 10year anniversary in January.

A lot of people never thought Springsteen would get to the one-year mark, let alone the one-decade mark. He knew beer, but he wasn’t a brewer. Instead, he was a professional hairstylist and real estate appraiser. He made money on the side by buying investment properties and flipping houses. And while he’d tried his hand in the brewing industry — he and his brother had experimented with homebrewing in the ’90s, and he’d worked at Mackinaw Brewing Company after moving to Traverse City in 2000 — no one would give him job making beer.

Still, Springsteen was driven. He’d fallen in love with beer as a high school wrestler in Germany, becoming enraptured with the country’s reverent beer culture. He’d also spent 15 years building a business plan for what

would become Right Brain. When he took the complimentary beer during their hair services. plan to SCORE, a northern Michigan program The combination was just weird enough to get built to mentor entrepreneurs, they were so the business noticed. As Springsteen recalls impressed with his preparation and zeal that now, though, Salon Saloon wasn’t really a they urged him to go straight to the banks to gimmick but a vital part of his business plan. seek financing.

“I knew the only way that I could open Unsurprisingly, no bank was willing to a brewery was to open up a salon and make take a risk on a brewery run by a guy who had money doing that, and be able to be around more experience cutting and styling hair than the brewery, too” he said. “Saloon Saloon and he did crafting IPAs and Right Brain Brewery being stouts. Luckily, Springsteen together immediately got us a Unsurprisingly, did have a few people willing lot of outside press, because it to take a chance on him. His was such a strange idea. But it sister and his brother-in-law no bank was willing was totally out of necessity. I put up an initial investment, to do that to be able to do to take a risk on a had while local architect Fred what I really wanted to do.”

Campbell provided the seed The novelty of sipping a beer brewery run by a money necessary to launch while getting a haircut, along the business.

Right Brain’s breath-ofguy who had more with Springsteen found an fresh-air brews, was enough to experienced brewer, and customers to the brewery’s experience cutting draw Right Brain Brewery was Garland Street location. At the born. Today, the brewery is and styling hair than time, the brewery’s digs were off known for a vibrant, modern the beaten path from the rest atmosphere — one where he did crafting IPAs of Downtown Traverse City. patrons are encouraged to Beyond Inside Out Gallery and and stouts. play games, order meals and Hands on Art, there was little snacks from an on-premises else to be found nearby. food truck, or behold the Against all odds, though, zany art and decorations that bedeck the Right Brain grew, and the Warehouse District walls and ceilings. Back then, though, it was grew with it. Right Brain flourished so quickly extremely no-frills. and so significantly that it rapidly outgrew the “We had no smoking, no TVs, no food, and increasingly thriving downtown sector. no brands,” Springsteen said. “We just had all “We reached our full capacity in three these craft beers. And people didn’t get it, but years,” Springsteen staid. “I bought new tanks they kind of just wanted to be a part of it. They in the third year, we used them for the fourth, all came and told me what I was doing wrong, and by the fifth year we were totally maxed and how I should be doing it. And I just did it out. We were starting to implode back in on my own way, and they got on board.” ourselves. People would tell me, ‘We opened Springsteen did have one gimmick to get the doors and heard how loud it was, saw how his brewery into the headlines: Salon Saloon, packed it was, and left.’ We were losing people. the hairstyling establishment that sat adjacent They weren’t even walking all the way through to Right Brain (and continues to operate next the door. I had no way to grow.” door to this day), and invited clients to enjoy a Springsteen was left with a choice: Stay in

20 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

the trendy Warehouse District and reap the benefits of the downtown crowds, or walk away to continue growing.

He chose to walk away. In 2012, Right Brain’s lease on the Garland location ran out, and the brewery relocated to a massive new facility on Sixteenth Street. Once again, critics warned Springsteen that customers wouldn’t make the trek to his brewery. Once again, the critics were wrong. In the first year on Sixteenth Street, Right Brain doubled its sales.

Of course, the Warehouse District thrived, too. Today, a slew of businesses are located just a stone’s throw from where Right Brain used to be, including the swanky Hotel Indigo and the experimental Alliance Restaurant.

Right Brain’s old digs, meanwhile, have been taken over by another brewery: the Workshop Brewing Company.

Springsteen doesn’t regret leaving downtown, nor does he begrudge other brewers their success in and around his old stomping grounds. In fact, several local brewers cut their teeth at Right Brain: the first brewer, John Niedermayer, who now runs his own place, Brewery Terra Firma, on a rural patch of land just south of Traverse City; Andy Largent, brewmaster at the Filling Station, near the north shore of Boardman Lake ; and Tina Schuett and Nate Crane, who run Rare Bird, just south of downtown Traverse City on Lake Street.

“They’re doing their thing, and they’re doing it well,” Springsteen said of his former employees. “Which is good, because I need them to do well. We all do. Because all ships rise on one tide. Tourists are coming up, and they’re coming to each of our places, and they’re judging us, and they’re comparing us. If they can say, when they leave, ‘Oh, that was a great experience! I had so many great beers at so many locations,’ that’s good.

What I always say is, ‘If you’re going to make Traverse City beer, make really good Traverse City beer.’”

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Summer Workshops

Happy EVERY Day! Join us for Happy Hour every day of the week from 4 - 7pm.

Each summer, CTAC hosts outstanding guest instructors from across Michigan and the United States, bringing top-notch art instruction to Petoskey and Traverse City in a variety of media. Members register by March 31, and save 10%. Not a member? Join online or call.

Food specials, 50% off house wines, draft beer and our Signature Cocktails.

COMING UP: SWIRL!

Live music Friday & Saturday evenings.

Thursday, March 22 • 5:30-7:00 pm • Petoskey

Hotel Indigo Traverse City 263 W. Grandview Parkway Traverse City, MI 49684 t: 231.932.0500 Reservations: 877.8.INDIGO (846.3446) hotelindigo.com/TraverseCityMI

facebook.com/hotelindigo @hotelindigo

Wine tasting and appetizers by City Park Grill and entertainment by The North Carolines A delicious blend of culture, libations, and fun! $15 in advance/$20 the day of www.crookedtree.org • 231-347-4337

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 21

Beyond Green Beer Food-coloring-free St. Patrick’s Day Diversions

By Kristi Kates Looking for some St. Patrick’s Day activities that don’t necessarily involve green beer? Here’s what’s happening around the North.

(Note: All events take place Saturday, March 17, unless otherwise noted.)

ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADES

Traverse City Said to be “the third longest-running St. Patrick’s Day parade in Michigan,” the 40th annual Ancient Order of Hibernians and the Northern Michigan Irish Queens St. Patrick’s Day Parade kicks off from Kilkenny’s Irish Public House at 400 West Front St. Don your green best and join the fun by calling Todd to confirm your participation at (231) 709-6500.

After the parade concludes, head back to Kilkenny’s by 3pm for live music by longtime St. Pat’s regular performers Song of the Lakes, The Wild Sullys, and Blue Footed Booby.

Gaylord Despite its Alpen style, Gaylord has been embracing the Irish holiday with its annual St. Patrick’s Day Eagle-101.5 Parade for 18 years. This year’s features Timothy Granahan, owner of Gaylord’s La Senorita

Mexican restaurant. Makes sense, right?

Regardless, the Gaylord parade kicks off at 10:30am with breakfast at Timothy’s Pub. The parade itself starts at noon. Call Mike at (989) 732-2341 if you’d like to participate.

SHAMROCK STORIES

Bring the kids to Between the Covers bookstore in Harbor Springs for the We Are Going Green! story time, a full St. Patrick’scelebrating hour of storytelling, activities, crafts, and snacks. The event, which starts at 11:30am, requires a reservation: (231) 526-6658.

TIPPERARY (Or Not) TUNES

Harbor Springs Need your St. Patrick’s Day to include music? Check out the Lounge at Nub’s Nob Ski Resort for live apres-ski music from Patrick Ryan, son of famed local Irish troubadour, Sean Ryan, and a talent in his own right.

Traverse City If you’re looking to rawk, check out heavy metal band Jackyl (hit singles include “Down on Me” and “When Will It Rain”) at Ground Zero starting at 8pm (doors open at 7pm).

Advanced tickets are $25 plus fees, and you can

22 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

snag a reserved table by calling (231) 932-1300.

IRISH ROVING

The only Irish winery on the Leelanau Peninsula has big plans for St. Patrick’s Day, and owners Chreighton and McKenzie Gallaghers invite folks to both celebrate the holiday and, as they put it, “shake your endof-the-winter blues!” on Friday, March 16.

Admission is free, and from 5pm to 8pm, gets you a look at some great Irish dancing, 20 percent off all glasses of award-winning Rove wine or cider, and stunning sunset views from the highest point on the Leelanau Peninsula.

LEAPIN’ LEPRECHAUNS

Think you’re as fast as those elusive leprechauns? Try your luck at the National Cherry Festival’s 8th Annual Fifth Third Bank Leapin’ Leprechaun St. Patty’s Day 5K Foot Race. (Trust us, running it is far easier than trying to say it.) The race starts at 9am from Traverse City’s Warehouse District.

Race fees, which start at $30 and increase March 6, include a commemorative T-shirt, a complimentary beverage (with photo ID), and free entertainment at the post-race party at the Workshop Brewing Company,

221 Garland St. There will also be medals for the top race finishers and prizes for Best Irish Costume.

LUCK OF LUDINGTON

Ludington’s St. Patrick Day festivities combine a race of its own (the 5K/10K Irish Jig Run at 9am) with a pile of additional events, including kids’ activities at the Sandcastles Children’s Museum (9am–3pm) and the Ludington Library (10am–2pm); a Kegs and Eggs breakfast event at Sportsman’s (9am– noon); a host of St. Patrick’s Day specials at participating downtown businesses (10am– 6pm); and a Shamrock Parade, which starts at noon at the corner of South James Street and Ludington Avenue.

EMERALD ISLE

The self-proclaimed “American Emerald Isle,” Beaver Island, has a long history of Irish heritage and welcomes visitors to fly over and enjoy longtime traditions like the Beaver Island Alumni Basketball Tournament and Crockpot Cook-Off; quirky games like the cart race and fish toss right on Main Street; and the friendly (but tough!) tug-o-war competition between the “Fish Chokers” and the “Hay Seeders.”

SAYONARA,SLOPES! Six Great Ways to Say Goodbye to the Ski Season

By Kristi Kates Don’t put away that gear just yet! While signs of spring (although faint) are juuuust starting to peek around the corner here in northern Michigan, there’s still some skiing left to enjoy at our local resorts. Take those skis in for one last waxing, and hit the hill for these fun season-ending events.

CELTS AND KAYAKS Crystal Mountain – March 16–17 Blending the wrap-up of ski season with the festivities of St. Patrick’s Day, this weekend at Crystal includes bonus goodies like drink specials in the Vista Lounge; a BBQ on the Lodge Deck on Saturday; free Shamrock glitter tattoos; a Pot of Gold best-guess challenge; a Shamrock Search with prizes; and the non-stop hunt for a photo op with the ever-elusive Leaping Leprechaun, who arrives at Crystal just once a year. Saturday night, get your dancing shoes on for the six-piece variety band Brena, who will be in concert in a giant outdoor tent near the base of the Buck run.

It’s a must-ski: Don’t miss the traditional Kayaks on the Snow race, where you attempt to kayak down a mountain (or watch others do it) Saturday morning at 11am.

Registration is required 30 minutes prior to the event; no personal equipment allowed; you must use Crystal’s kayaking gear.

More information: crystalmountain.com or (855) 995-5146.

CARNIVAL WEEKEND Boyne Mountain – March 16–18 The locals call Boyne Mountain’s famed Carnival Weekend — a combo of St. Patrick’s Day and Mardi Gras — Crazy Daze for good reason. Expect plenty of wacky costumes, ski bunnies in bikinis, live and DJ’d music, and plenty of food and drink as skiers, boarders, and even zipliners give winter its last hurrah.

It’s a must-ski: Don’t miss The Slush Cup, the one time of the ski season where the Mountain actually welcomes slushy conditions — and where only the bravest of bodies attempt to skim a pond of icy slush for a wildly cheering crowd.

More information: boyne.com or (855) 688-7024.

KRAZY DAZE Boyne Highlands – March 17 Joining Boyne Mountain in the crazy festivities department is Boyne Highlands’ take on the end of ski season, during which the sister resort features its own version of the Slush Cup (the more tamely named Ski Over the Pond), and opportunities to participate in a big tailgate party with other competitors and guests at the resort. Get your face painted in bright colors so you stand out in the Silly Slalom ski race, enjoy some bounce time in the inflatables at the bottom of Camelot Slope, and rest up in between events with some live acoustic entertainment in the Slopeside Lounge.

It’s a must-ski: Don’t miss the yearly Get

Krazy Party in the Zoo Bar — it’s a legendary bash that’s open to everyone 21 and over, and will include uber-danceable live music, drink specials, lots of krazy fun, and plenty of opportunities for memorable selfies.

More information: boyne.com or (888) 436-2296.

MARDI GRAS Nub’s Nob – March 17 Nub’s end-of-season celebration is aimed squarely at family fun, so don’t be shy about bringing the kiddos along for activities like the Pepsi Challenge races, the costume contest, and a load of silly races in which you’ll enjoy laughing as much as skiing. Much like Nub’s fellow ski resorts here in northern Michigan, there’s also a “Soaker Cup” to take advantage of all that March slush, and an opportunity to win the crown as the “Crazy Couple” of the day, provided you and your significant other are dressed the part.

It’s a must-ski: Don’t miss the return of the Petoskey Steel Drum Band, one of the musical prides of Emmet County. This isn’t your typical marching band, folks — it’s the chiming, celebratory tones of the Caribbean, brought in to contrast perfectly with Nub’s snowy ski runs.

More information: nubsnob.com or (231) 526-2131 LUCK O’ THE IRISH Shanty Creek - March 17 Shanty Creek says that “everyone’s Irish this weekend” as they celebrate season’s end with a host of laughably fun and precarious

outdoor games like Giant Jenga and Corn Hole, plus plenty of spring skiing. On the dining/drinking side, snag $3 pints at Ivan’s Kill the Kegs events (and, yes, you can expect green beer, too, in honor of St. Pat), plus great food, the NCAA tourney on the big screen, and apres-ski live music for your entertainment in the evening.

It’s a must-ski: Don’t miss the Blarney Stone Rail Jam, a daring snowboarding competition that brings together the most ambitious boarders in the region to show off their talent. They’ll be judged by a trio of experts as they work to wow crowds and win prizes like lift tickets for the next ski season.

More information: shantycreek.com or (866) 695-5010.

SHORT’S ROCKS THE MOUNTAIN Treetops Resort – March 17 Put on a pair of shorts to ski or snowboard and grab a lift ticket for just $10. You’ll find a beer tent at the top of the hill, complete with a range of brews from Short’s Brewing Company in Bellaire. There’s a costumed Slush Cup here too — plan yours carefully; the prize for the best duds is a 2018–2019 ski season pass — plus a Corn Hole tourney for a $25 Treetops gift card.

It’s a Must Ski: Ever seen a leprechaun careening around on stilts? You will at Treetops! Catch him wandering around the resort from 11am to 7pm. He might even pose for a photo with you if you ask nicely.

More information: treetops.com or (866) 348-5249.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 23

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NORTHERN SEEN 1. Mike, Becca, Terry, Laura, Aubrey, and Julia enjoy ‘Suds & Snow’ at Timber Ridge Resort in TC. 2. Ashley, Tracy, Haley, and Lisa enjoy Recess at Louie Louie inside the all-new Streeters Center 2.0 in Traverse City.

3. The prize winners line up during the Traverse City Ticker’s Recess event inside Louie Louie at Streeters 2.0.

4. Lauren Harris and Jen Seman posing at the A-Ha fundraiser for hands-on learning at the Great Lakes Children’s Museum.

5. Brianne Geetings is damn happy she won the “headstails” pot raffle at the Great Lakes Children’s Museum fundraiser.

6. John and Brooke DiGiacomo looking good at a fundraiser for the Great Lakes Children’s Museum.

24 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

mar 10

saturday

HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: March 2-11. Area restaurants are offering breakfast, lunch & dinner specials for $15, $25 &/or $35.

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KIDS’ FESTIVAL WEEKEND: Boyne Mountain Resort, Boyne Falls, March 9-11. Featuring Splatmaster Paintball target practice, rock wall & extreme dual air jumpers, inflatable obstacle course & bounce house, Silly Slalom Race, kids’ seal slide, egg race & much more. boynemountain.com/kids-festival-weekend

games & more. facebook.com/horizonbookscadillac

MARch

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“THE LION KING ON ICE”: 11:30am & 4:30pm, Centre Ice Arena, TC. Presented by the Traverse City Figure Skating Club. Tickets: MyNorthTickets.com. $17 bleacher seat/$120 VIP Table for 4. gofiguretc.org

10-18

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6TH ANNUAL DOGMAN CHALLENGE FAT BIKE RACE: Noon, Mt. McSauba, top of bunny hill, Charlevoix. 1.8 mile loop through the trails of Mt. McSauba & North Point Nature Preserve. The riders to complete the most laps in two hours win Dogman medals & cash prizes. dogmanchallenge.net

send your dates to: events@traverseticker.com

---------------------- -------------------SPRING CARNIVAL: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Today features Fitness Challenge Fun, Yoga, Cardboard Classic Creative Sled Contest, Cardboard Classic Race, New Belgium Scavenger Hunt, Slush Cup, free Slopeside Concert featuring Drew Hale, & more. crystalmountain.com/events/spring-fling

----------------------

NORTHERN MI HOME SHOW: 9am-5pm, NCMC, Petoskey. “Concept to Reality” will heavily focus on workshops & demonstrations. $5; 5 & under, free. hbanm.com/home-show-2

---------------------POWER OF THE PURSE: 9:30am-noon, City Opera House, TC. Learn about the impact Goodwill Inn has had on the community, support its continuation, & hear some of the guests’ stories. Tickets include brunch by Bistro Fou Fou. Proceeds benefit the women & children staying at the Goodwill Inn. $35/ person. goodwillnmi.org/power

---------------------ARTS IN ACTION: 10am-12:30pm, Great Lakes Children’s Museum, TC. Featuring Wood Smoke Jim & River Lark Mary of Twilight Walking Tours who will tell a series of stories based on the exhibits in the Great Lakes Children’s Museum. greatlakeskids.org

---------------------FRIENDS OF TADL ANNUAL MEDIA SALE: Traverse Area District Library, TC. 9-10am: Members-only pre-sale. 10am-4pm: Public sale. Shop from thousands of used CDs, DVDs, audiobooks & vinyl records. All items are $2. tadl.org/event/friends-of-tadl-annualmedia-sale

---------------------MAKE A GIFT SERIES: JEWELRY CLASS: Interlochen Public Library. 10am-noon or 2-4pm. Materials provided. Sign up: 231-2766767. Free. tadl.org/interlochen

---------------------READ WITH DR. SEUSS: 11am, Horizon Books, Cadillac. Featuring story time, crafts,

9TH ANNUAL BREW-SKI FESTIVAL: Noon, Boyne Highlands Resort, Harbor Springs.

More than 70 breweries bring more than 200 brews. Also enjoy live music, food & more. $10. boynehighlands.com/events/brewskifestival

--------------------

INSPIRE YOUR BIRTH: 12:30-2pm, Leland Township Library. With local doulas Kallie & Maia. Connect with other expecting mothers in this afternoon of crafting, conversation & tea.

Materials provided. Contact Maia with questions: 231-866-4820. Free.

--------------------

AUTHOR SIGNING: 1-3pm, Horizon Books, TC. Trevor McCauley will sign his book “The Weathervane, The Latter Rain, and One More Day.” horizonbooks.com

----------------------

HOW TO “READ” THE WEATHER WITH JOE CHARLEVOIX: 1:30pm, Elk Rapids District Library. Free.

---------------------ROCK N JAM: 4:30pm, The Rock of Kingsley.

Community play-along. Bring an instrument or listen in. Free. Find on Facebook.

----------------------

A book-based quiz competition for fourth and fifth graders in the Grand Traverse community, National Writers Series’ Battle of the Books’ Championship and All-Team Finale will be held at City Opera House, TC on Sun., March 18 at 2pm with award-winning children’s author and illustrator Peter Brown. Peter will talk about his New York Times bestseller The Wild Robot and sign his newest book, The Wild Robot Escapes. Free. cityoperahouse.org/nws-peter-brown

----------------------

March 2, 3, 9, & 10 at 7pm & March 4 & 11 at 2pm. 1-800-836-0717. $12-$23. mynorthtickets.com

COOKBOOK DINNER SERIES: amical, TC. “Red Rooster” by Marcus Samuelsson. American cuisine inspired by the south. amical.com/ cookbookdinnerseries

GAYLORD’S DANCING WITH THE STARS: 6-11pm, Otsego Grand Event Center, Gaylord.

This fundraising event features local celebrity dancers Taylar Akin & Will Tomaski, coached & choreographed by Michelle Neville & her team at Just Dance. Benefits Otsego Memorial Hospital. $125. myomh.org

---------------------SIX APPEAL: 7:30pm, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. A vocal ensemble infused with comedic timing & the energy of a rock band. $25 members/$35 non-members/$10 students. crookedtree.org/events/petoskey

---------------------- ---------------------LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL: 7pm, TC West Senior High School. The story of Delta Nu Sorority Sister Elle Woods as she tries to win back Warner by any means possible.

5TH ANNUAL MADE IN MICHIGAN FUNDRAISER: 8pm, The Elk’s, third floor, Cadillac.

Presented by Gopherwood Concerts. Featuring live music by Frank Youngman, Zak

Bunce, Denny Richards, Rick West, Thomas Schippers & others. Benefits Club Cadillac.

Advance tickets: $12 adults, $6 students & free for 12 & under. Door: $15 adults, $7 students. mynorthtickets.com gopherwoodconcerts.org

mar 11

sunday

HARBOR SPRINGS RESTAURANT WEEK: (See Sat., March 10)

@soulsqueeze

soulsqueezecellars

T R AV E R S E C I T Y , M I C H I G A N | s o u l s q u e e z e c e l l a r s . c o m

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 25

KIDS’ FESTIVAL WEEKEND: (See Sat., March 10)

---------------------9TH ANNUAL BREW-SKI FESTIVAL: (See Sat., March 10)

---------------------‘LUUNAPPI!’ = SNAPPY SOUNDS FOR KIDS: 2pm, Glen Arbor Arts Center. Enjoy snappy music, poems & stories. Featuring Norm Wheeler & Pat Niemisto. Free for kids; adults, $5. glenarborart.org

---------------------BAY VIEW ASSOCIATION—ITS PAST & PRESENT: 2pm, Helena Township Community Center, Alden. The history of Bay View Association, a neighborhood of 450 Victorian homes in Petoskey overlooking the Bay, will be highlighted. 231-331-4318.

---------------------LEGALLY BLONDE THE MUSICAL: (See Sat., March 10)

---------------------KENNEDY’S KITCHEN: 4pm, Sleder’s Family Tavern, TC. Enjoy this Irish group performing everything from pub songs & sing-a-longs, stories, recitation, to dance tunes. 947-9213. $20 advance; $25 door.

---------------------COOKBOOK DINNER SERIES: (See Sat., March 10)

mar 12

monday

OTP YOUNG COMPANY AUDITIONS: 4-6pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. For “James and the Giant Peach, JR.” Open to students ages 9-18 oldtownplayhouse.com

---------------------LIFELONG LEARNING: UNDERSTANDING ISLAM: 5:15-6:45pm, Petoskey District Library Classroom, Petoskey. Register. Free. petoskeylibrary.org

---------------------“SAVING SNOW - THE FIGHT TO SAVE WINTER”: 6:30pm, TC Central High School.

“Saving Snow” is a documentary about people coming to terms with our changing climate.

After the film will be a panel discussion with Eli Brown, Bob Sutherland, Kate Madigan & more. Sponsored by Citizens’ Climate Lobby, TC Central HS Students for Environmental Advocacy, & the Vasa Ski Club. Free. Find on Facebook.

---------------------GRAND TRAVERSE HUMANISTS PRESENT KAMA ROSS, “EYES ON THE FOREST”: 7pm, Traverse Area District Library, TC. Learn about many challenges that northern MI trees & forests are facing. Free. gthumanists.org

---------------------2018 TC CHARITY JOKE JAM!: 8pm, The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. This stand-up comedy competition & local non-profit fundraising effort is held over a six-week period at the Kamikaze Comedy & Rotten Cherries Open Mics (“TC Comedy Collective”). A Joke Jam Qualifier Round will be held tonight & benefit Norte. traversecitycomedy.com

MAR 13 library.org

tuesday

PARENTS & PASTRIES: 8:30am, Peninsula Community Library, Old Mission Peninsula School, TC. Read with your child before school starts. peninsulacommunity-

---------------------SARAH SHOEMAKER: 2pm, Bellaire Public Library. This author of “Mr. Rochester” is a National Writers Series Author Next Door pick. bellairelibrary.org

---------------------FREE CPR CLASS: 3-5pm, Charlevoix Family Medicine. Register: 800-248-6777.

---------------------OTP YOUNG COMPANY AUDITIONS: (See Mon., March 12)

THE GLORY OF HAVING A RAILROAD: 4pm, TC Senior Center. Presented by Wexford County Historical Society Docent Richard Kraemer. Advanced registration required: 922-4911. Free.

---------------------DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: The Garden Theater, Frankfort. This series pairs award-winning films shown at The Garden Theater with small batch dark beers, handcrafted specifically for each movie by Stormcloud Brewing Company. “Lucky” will be shown at 4:30pm. This month’s beer is Coffee & Smokes. Admission is $10. Each movie ticket purchaser receives a $5 Stormcloud token. frankfortgardentheater.com/dark-stormcloudyfilm-series

---------------------CHOOSING & PLANTING SEEDLINGS WORKSHOP: 5:30-7:30pm, Boardman River Nature Center, TC. Register: 941-0960. Presented by the GT Conservation District. Free. natureiscalling.org/seedling-sale

---------------------FREE COMMUNITY DINNER: 5:30-6:30pm, First Presbyterian Church, Fellowship Hall, Elk Rapids. erfpc.org

---------------------PLANNING & PLANTING COLD HARDY GRAPES: 6-9pm, NCMC, room 536, Petoskey. Presented by the Straits Area Grape Growers Association. Free. eventbrite.com

---------------------CENTRAL NEIGHBORHOOD ASSOCIATION: 6:30-8:30pm, Crooked Tree Arts Center, TC. Derek Melville from TC Parks and Rec will give an update on Hannah Park. All Central Neighborhood Association residents are welcome.

---------------------CITIZENS’ CLIMATE LOBBY TC MEETING: 6:30-8:30pm, Central United Methodist Church, third floor, TC. If you’re new, come at 6pm for an introduction to CCL. citizensclimatelobby.org

---------------------DEBTORS ANONYMOUS MEETING: 6:30pm, Cowell Family Cancer Center, Rm. 3002, TC. 973-476-7384. Free. debtorsanonymous.org

---------------------CHERRYLAND GARDEN CLUB: Presents speakers Tim and Lindsey Lampton from McGoughs. 7pm, Central United Methodist Church, third floor, TC. 231-228-6720.

MAR 14

wednesday

NATIONAL STUDENT WALK OUT TC: 10am. To protest Congress’s reaction to mass shootings. Women’s March Youth Empower is encouraging students, teachers & parents to take part in “#ENOUGH,” a 17-minute school walkout. Gather at the corner of Milliken Dr. & Front St./Munson Ave. near NMC & West High School. Find on Facebook.

---------------------POINT, ZOOM, CLICK: 11am, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Lower Carnegie Studio, Petoskey. Learn the fundamentals of photography in this hands-on workshop. Free. crookedtree.org

---------------------HOSPICE OF MICHIGAN LOSS OF A SPOUSE: 1pm, Mackinaw Trail Middle School, Cadillac. A grief support group series focusing on those who have lost a spouse or partner. To register or for more info, contact Will Gasper: 231.444.3350. Free. hom.org

---------------------MARCH STROKE CLUB - “SLEEP DISORDERS”: 2:30-4:30pm, The Presbyterian Church, TC. Presented by the GT Bay Area Stroke Club. munsonhealthcare.org/strokeclub

---------------------BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Otsego Club, The Sitzmark, Gaylord. Featuring live entertainment. $5 at door.

26 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

GTWOMAN NETWORK NITE: 5-7pm, Bayview Flooring & Design Center, TC. Food by Centre Street Cafe; wine by Bonobo & St. Ambrose; & a photo booth. There will be a health speaker from Munson, & for $25 you can get a body composition scan to assess your fitness level. You will also get a goodie bag & more. Tickets: 2/$20 for $15 each. grandtraversewoman.com

---------------------TREE & SHRUB PLANTING WORKSHOP: SUSTAINING OUR FORESTS, WILDLIFE & LANDSCAPES: 6:30pm, Leelanau County Government Center, Community Room, Suttons Bay. Presented by the Forestry Assistance Program for the Leelanau Conservation District. Register: 231-256-9783 or klong@ leelanaucd.org. Free. leelanaucd.org

---------------------HOT PLANTS FOR 2018 WITH HEIDI GRASMAN: 7-9pm, The Botanic Garden at Historic Barns Park, TC. Presented by the Master Gardener Association of Northwest MI. Registration required. Free. thebotanicgarden. org/events

---------------------SEA SHANTY OPEN MUSIC SESSION: 7pm, Maritime Heritage Alliance, TC. Held the second Weds. of every month. maritimeheritagealliance.org/calendars

---------------------LIFETREE CAFE: 8pm, The Rock of Kingsley Youth Center. Featuring a film about a current news topic & a discussion. Free. Find on Facebook.

mar 15

thursday

MARCH GEEK BREAKFAST: 8am, Bubba’s, TC. A networking event for techminded people to discuss topics like social media, programming, digital marketing, design & more over bacon, eggs & coffee. Free + cost of breakfast. Find on Facebook.

---------------------YOGA AT MICHAEL’S PLACE: Noon, Michael’s Place, 1212 Veterans Dr., TC. Held every 3rd Thurs. Classes are free to those grieving the loss of a loved one & to those for whom death & grief are part of their job. Bring a yoga mat & bottled water. RSVP: 947-6453 or goodgrief@mymichaelsplace.net.

---------------------GT GENEALOGICAL SOCIETY MEETING: 1-3pm, Traverse Area District Library, McGuire Community Room, TC. Featuring guest presenters, Traverse Area District Librarians.

Free. gtags.org

---------------------TECHNOLOGY WORKSHOP: SPRING CLEANING FOR YOUR COMPUTER: 1:30pm, Leland Township Library. Join Leland Township Library’s Director, Mark Morton, for this workshop on how to use basic programs to improve your computer’s speed & reliability.

Free. lelandlibrary.org

---------------------BENZIE COUNTY BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Benzie Area Christian Neighbors, Benzonia. This month’s theme is “Look Back to 1983.” $5 donation.

---------------------MADE IN MICHIGAN BUSINESS AFTER HOURS: 5-7pm, Stafford’s Perry Hotel, Petoskey. Featuring Michigan Coney Dogs from Plath’s Meats & Faygo Floats made possible by donations from Kilwin’s Chocolate Kitchen & D&W Fresh Market. $7 members; $12 not-yet members. 231-347-4150.

---------------------NORTHLAND WEAVERS & FIBER ARTS GUILD MEETING: 5:30pm, TC Senior Center.

A demonstration of the ancient art of card weaving is planned. Find on Facebook. Free.

---------------------INTERNATIONAL AFFAIRS FORUM LECTURE: 6pm, Dennos Museum Center, Milliken Auditorium, NMC, TC. “Rohingya Refugees: A Crisis Long in the Making.” Free for current students & educators; $15 others. 995-1700.

SURFRIDER FOUNDATION LAKE MICHIGAN CHAPTER KICKOFF EVENT: 7pm, Earthen Ales, The Village at GT Commons, TC. Featuring a screening of “Under an Arctic Sky.” $1 of every pint sold benefits the Lake Michigan Chapter.

---------------------INTERLOCHEN ARTS ACADEMY ORCHESTRA CONCERTO CONCERT: 7:30pm, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium.

Tickets: $11 full, $8 senior & youth. Benefits the Friends of Interlochen Public Library & Interlochen Public Library’s children’s programs. tickets.interlochen.org

---------------------DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: (See Tues., March 13, except tonight’s time is 7:30pm.)

mar 16

friday

CARNIVAL WEEKEND: Boyne Mountain Resort, Boyne Falls, March 16-18.

Enjoy the On-Hill Party, Slush Cup, Stache Bash, Adult Costume Contest, live music & much more. boynemountain.com

---------------------“BREAK THE CHAIN”: 10am, Dennos Museum Center, Milliken Auditorium, NMC, TC. A human trafficking panel discussion will follow this documentary. Lunch & keynote speaker from the Michigan Coalition to End Domestic & Sexual Violence. 995-1118. Free.

---------------------LUNCHEON LECTURE: “HEALTH CARE & CULTURE IN AFGHANISTAN”: 11:30am, NCMC, Library Conference Center, Petoskey.

Presented by Commander, US Navy (retired) Joseph Taylor. $12. ncmich.edu

---------------------TC ST. PATRICK’S DAY OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL PUB WALK: Noon-11pm, Downtown TC. Hosted by Grand Traverse Pipes & Drums. Starts at Minervas Restaurant, Park Place Hotel & ends at State Street Grille. Find on Facebook.

---------------------LOUAN LECHLER PERFORMS “AFTER HOURS”: 7-9pm, Elk Rapids District Library, porch. Louan will perform “Women Folk,” a musical history of women singers & songwriters. 231-264-9979. Free.

---------------------“MARY POPPINS”: 7pm, Benzie Central High School Auditorium, Benzonia. Presented

by Benzie Central High School. Tickets are $12 for adults & $6 for students and seniors. mynorthtickets.com

---------------------DISNEY AND DESSERTS: 7pm, TC Central High School Auditorium, TC. Enjoy treats with your favorite Disney characters. You can come dressed as your favorite character.

There will be singing, coloring, storytelling, face painting & more. Tickets only available at the door, one hour prior to performances. $12 adults; $6 under 18; $30 family of four.

---------------------SHAMROCK SWING WITH HIGHLAND DANCE HARBOR: 7-9pm, Red Sky Stage, Petoskey. Presented by Voices Without Borders’ Little Traverse Youth Choir. $10 advance. redskystage.com

---------------------A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM: 7:3010pm, Old Town Playhouse, TC. Enjoy Shakespeare’s comedy as his characters learn to distinguish true love from “fancy.” $15-$28. mynorthtickets.com

---------------------THE MANHATTAN TRANSFER: 8pm, City Opera House, TC. Winners of 10 Grammy Awards, with millions of records sold worldwide, this quartet celebrated their 45th anniversary in 2017. $65.50; $45.50. cityoperahouse.org/the-manhattan-transfer

mar 17

saturday

KRAZY DAZE: Boyne Highlands Resort, Harbor Springs.

Featuring Silly Slalom, Ski Over the Pond, Jump Competition, Get Krazy Party & more. boynehighlands.com/ events/krazy-daze

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THIRD ANNUAL NEWTON’S ROAD GUTTER CAR DERBY: 8am-3pm, TC East Middle School. Featuring 3D printed cars designed by local students. Plastic gutters are used as the race track.

mar 18

sunday

CARNIVAL WEEKEND: (See Fri., March 16)

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LOCAL HISTORY MONTHLY PROGRAM: 1pm, Traverse Area District Library, McGuire Community Room, TC. Presented by the Traverse Area Historical Society.

Learn about the history of public schools in TC. traversehistory.wordpress.com

---------------------“MARY POPPINS”: (See Fri., March 16, except today’s time is 2pm.)

---------------------- ---------------------BIRDING SERIES: EARLY SPRING BIRDS: 9-10:30am, Grass River Natural Area, Bellaire.

Enjoy a walk as you look & listen for the first birds of spring. Free; donations appreciated. grassriver.org

---------------------CARNIVAL WEEKEND: (See Fri., March 16) FAMILY EXPO: 9am-noon, Cadillac Senior High School. Kids activities, free vision screening for kids, child ID kits, fire trucks, car safety & more. 810-265-6163. Free.

---------------------LEAPIN’ LEPRECHAUN 5K: 9am, TC’s Warehouse District. Wear your green! Post Race Party at the Workshop Brewing Co. runsignup.com

---------------------MARDI GRAS: Nub’s Nob, Harbor Springs.

Includes the Soaker Cup, costume contest, Crazy Couples and Dorie Sarns Open races & the Petoskey Steel Drum Band. nubsnob.com SHAMROCK SHUFFLE 5K: 10am, Charlevoix Elementary School. 5K, 1 mile run. $25. runsignup.com

BATTLE OF THE BOOKS WITH PETER BROWN: 2pm, City Opera House, TC. Presented by National Writers Series. Award-winning children’s author & illustrator Peter Brown is the star author at the Battle of the Books finale. Peter will talk about his New York Times bestseller “The Wild Robot” & sign his newest book, “The Wild Robot Escapes.” Tickets: 941-8082, ext. 201. Free. cityoperahouse.org/ nws-peter-brown

---------------------DARK & STORMCLOUDY FILM & BEER SERIES: (See Tues., March 13, except today’s time is 2pm.)

---------------------TRAVERSE SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA PRESENTS BEETHOVEN + SHOSTAKOVICH: 3pm, Interlochen Center for the Arts, Corson Auditorium. Featuring Armenian cello soloist Suren Bagratuni. $25.50, $38, $46. traversesymphony.org

---------------------“MARY POPPINS”: 4pm, Cherryland Middle School, Elk Rapids. $7 adults/ $3 students.

lobby area of the new City Facilities Building, Boyne City. On March 10 Real Ingredients will perform live music. On March 17 Dwain Martin will perform. boynecitymainstreet.com/ farmers-market-welcome

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, TC: YOUTH ART SHOW: March 11-31. Featuring the next generation of visual artists and their teachers. A reception will be held on Sun., March 11 from 1-3pm. crookedtree.org

CTAC ARTISANS & FARMERS MARKET, PETOSKEY: Fridays, 10am-1pm, upper level Carnegie, Crooked Tree Arts Center, Petoskey. This market has moved back inside. When weather permits, vendors will sell their goods out on the Bidwell Plaza, too. crookedtree.org

DENNOS MUSEUM CENTER, NMC, TC: Mon. - Sat., 10am-5pm; Thurs., 10am-8pm; Sun., 1-5pm.: - “LINES OF LIGHT: CRAIG TANDY - MONOFILAMENT SCULPTURE”: Runs through April 29 at Zimmerman Sculpture Court. Canadian artist Craig Tandy constructs complex sculptures with monofilament nylon that illustrate the properties of projected light, with an interest in creating a space through which the viewer can move.

- TUTANKHAMUN: “WONDERFUL THINGS” FROM THE PHARAOH’S TOMB: Runs through May. 6. From the artisans of the Pharaonic Village in Egypt & the Metropolitan Museum of Art, this exhibit features about 100 replicas of the pharaoh’s possessions & artifacts from the period surrounding Tutankhamun’s reign. It reconstructs the discovery of the tomb by Howard Carter & the life of Pharaoh Tutankhamun. dennosmuseum.org

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---------------------INDOOR FARMERS MARKET, THE MERCATO, THE VILLAGE AT GT COMMONS, TC: Saturdays, 10am-2pm through April.

941-1961.

art

JURIED PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBIT: Runs through Apr. 28 at Gaylord Area Council for the Arts, Gaylord. An opening reception will be held on Sat., March 10 from 5-7pm. Enjoy the work of nature & wildlife photographer Kristina Lishawa.

---------------------- ---------------------GREAT LAKES PHOTOGRAPHY: A SAILOR’S PERSPECTIVE: Runs through Apr. 14 at Tinker Studio, TC. Featuring work by photographer & sailor on the Great Lakes, Michael Diduch. Gallery is open Weds.-Sat., 10am5pm & Sun., 12-4pm. Find on Facebook.

---------------------DIETRICH BROTHERS POPUP SHOW: Through March 11 at Jordan River Arts Council, East Jordan. Featuring the work of Rich & Bill Dietrich. jordanriverartscouncil15.wildapricot.org

---------------------- ---------------------- ---------------------CELTS & KAYAKS: Crystal Mountain, Thompsonville. Kayaks will race down the mountain at 11am, the Slush Cup takes place at 2pm, & Brena performs live music from 6-9pm. crystalmountain.com

BENEFIT CONCERT: 4-6pm, Horizon Books, TC. Songwriters Andre Villoch, Jenny Thomas & Dennis Palmer will be performing in the round. Benefits the Father Fred Foundation.

Cash donations accepted. horizonbooks.com

DRINK & DRAW: Tuesdays, 7pm, The Workshop Brewing Co., TC. traversecityworkshop.com

PET TREAT TASTING EVENT: 11am-4pm, Tractor Supply Store, TC. Also featuring 4health Resource Center, pet adoption, vaccinations & H.A.N.D.D.S to the rescue.

943-4062.

ongoing

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------------------------------------------AUTHOR SIGNING: 1-3pm, Horizon Books, TC. Karl Olson will sign his book “Broken Truth.” horizonbooks.com

---------------------KIDS FUN DAY CARNIVAL: 1-3pm, Mills Community House, Upper Level, Benzonia Public Library. Reading Time with Benzie Central Student-Athletes, carnival games, face painting, Make & Take Craft Workshops prizes & more. 231-882-4111. Free. benzonialibrary.org

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40TH ANNUAL ST. PATRICK’S DAY PARADE: 1:30pm, Downtown TC. Pre-parade festivities begin at 11am at Kilkenny’s. The parade begins at 1:30pm along Hall St., between the BATA Bus Garage & North Peak Brewery.

Following the parade at Kilkenny’s, there will be live music by Blue Footed Booby, Song of the Lakes & The Wild Sullys. The parade is presented by the Ancient Order of the Hibernians. 231-883-5625.

---------------------DISNEY AND DESSERTS: (See Fri., March 16, except today’s time is 2pm)

---------------------“MARY POPPINS”: (See Fri., March 16) ---------------------A MIDSUMMER NIGHT’S DREAM: (See Fri., March 16)

---------------------JONATHA BROOKE: 8-10pm, Dennos Museum Center, Milliken Auditorium, NMC, TC. This singer, songwriter & guitarist performs an evening of music inspired by folk, rock and pop genres. $24-$27. mynorthtickets.com/ events/jonatha-brooke

HOSPICE OF MICHIGAN WRITING THROUGH LOSS: Thursdays, 10-11:30am through April 12. Michael’s Place, 1212 Veterans Dr., TC. This grief support program focuses on the use of writing as a healing process. Facilitated by Kathryn Holl, MA, LPC and Melissa Fournier, MSW. To register or for more info, call Kathryn Holl: 929.1557. hom.org

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“THE LYRICS OF BOB DYLAN”: Nobel Laureate 2016. Three Pines Studio, Cross Village.

This all media exhibition runs through March. threepinesstudio.com “ARNTSON, SEMAN, VOYTENKO”: Runs through March 23 at Oliver Art Center, Frankfort. Featuring the paintings of bodies of water

by Amy Arntson, the photography of Greg Seman, & the abstract encaustics of Marissa Voytenko. Hours: Mon.-Fri., 10am-4:30pm; Sat., 10am-4pm; & Sun., 12-4pm. oliverartcenterfrankfort.org

---------------------- ---------------------C3: CHARLEVOIX CREATIVES COLLABORATIVE WEEKLY BREAKFAST GATHERING: Fridays, 10:30am, Smoke on the Water Cafe, Charlevoix. Info: alexis @ 503.550.8889. Find on Facebook.

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“CAMERA EYE VIEW”: Runs through March 17 at Higher Art Gallery, TC. Featuring Calvin Boulter’s B&W photography. higherartgallery. com/artiststraversecity

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C3: CHARLEVOIX CREATIVES COLLABORATIVE WRITE ALONG GROUP: Sundays, 2:30-4pm, Charlevoix Public Library, 2nd floor Trustees Rm. Info: alexis @ 503.550.8889.

Find on Facebook.

“NATIVE TREATIES: SHARED RIGHTS”: Runs through April 10 at NCMC, Library, Petoskey. An educational exhibit about treaties, land ownership, rights & more. Hours: Mon.-Thurs., 8am-7pm & Fri., 8am-5pm. cmich.edu

COMPULSIVE EATERS ANONYMOUS: Thursdays, 5:30pm, 5th & Oak St., TC. Compulsive Eaters Anonymous-HOW is a fellowship of individuals who, through shared experience, strength & hope are recovering from compulsive eating & food addiction. traversecityceahow.org

GRAND TRAVERSE ART BOMB: Runs through Apr. 7 at Right Brain Brewery, TC. This collaborative art show featuring talent from around northern MI gives artists an opportunity to showcase their talents with minimal cost. A Closing Reception will be held on Sat., April 7. gt-artbomb.wixsite.com/2018

HORIZON BOOKS OF CADILLAC STORYTIME: Wednesdays, 4pm. Listen to a story & create a take-home craft. facebook.com/horizonbookscadillac

CROOKED TREE ARTS CENTER, PETOSKEY: - CROOKED TREE PHOTOGRAPHIC SOCIETY EXHIBITION: Runs through March 24.

Includes 90 photographs by local & regional photographers. Juried by photographer & founder of the annual Photostock Festival, Bill Schwab.

- “HAND IN HAND: CRAFT AND NEW TECHNOLOGIES”: Runs through March 24. This exhibition explores the relationship between tradition & innovation when applied to diverse concepts, materials, methods & processes. crookedtree.org

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RANGER-LED SNOWSHOE HIKES: Saturdays & Sundays, 1pm, Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore, Empire. Meet at the Philip A. Hart Visitor Center. Reservations required: 231-326-4700, ext. 5010. Free, but park entrance pass or annual pass required. nps.gov/ slbe/index.htm

---------------------BOYNE CITY INDOOR FARMERS MARKET: Saturdays, 9am-noon through April. Main

GLEN ARBOR ARTS CENTER: - CELEBRATING YOUNG ARTISTS AT GAAC: Through March 23. Featuring the work of young creatives with an exhibition by Glen Lake Elementary School sixth graders & the GAAC’s After School Art kids. Gallery hours: 9am-2pm, Mon.-Fri., & 12-4pm, Sun. - MOLLY PHINNY: WORKS IN CLOTH 20152017: A small survey of fiber constructions by Leelanau County artist Molly Phinny. Runs through April 8. 231-334-6112. glenarborart.org

NORTHWESTERN MICHIGAN BESTSELLERS For the week ending 3/4/18

HARDCOVER FICTION

Great Alone by Kristin Hannah Holtzbrinck Publishers $28.99 Woman in the Window by AJ Finn William Morrow $26.99 A Gentleman in Moscow by Amor Towles Viking $27.00

PAPERBACK FICTION

Celine by Peter Heller Vintage $16.00 Red Sparrow by Jason Matthews Pocket Books $9.99 Beartown by Fredrik Backman Washington Square Press $17.00

HARDCOVER NON-FICTION

I’ve Been Thinking by Maria Shriver Pamela Dorman Books $20.00 Dear Fahrenheit 451 by Annie Spence Flatiron Books $18.99 Hidden Life of Trees by Peter Wohlleben Greystone Books $24.95

PAPERBACK NON-FICTION

Gradual Clearing by Karen Anderson Arbutus Press $16.95 Of Things Ignored & Unloved by Richard Fidler Mission Point Press $15.95 Broken Truth by Karl Olson Christian Faith Publishing $13.95 Compiled by Horizon Books: Traverse City & Cadillac

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 27

28 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

BRUNO MARS BRINGING HIS MAGIC BACK TO DETROIT Bruno Mars has just added yet another leg to his already-huge 24K Magic world tour; the new dates will start with a twonight run in Denver, Colorado, Sept. 7 and 8, with much of the newly confirmed schedule including two-night stands in many cities.

Mars’ stop in Detroit will only include one show — Sept. 15 — but you can hop on over to Canada if you want to catch him again, as he’ll be playing two shows in Toronto, Sept.

22 and 23, before moving on to Boston; Brooklyn, New York; Nashville; Dallas; and Austin, Texas. The whole shebang goes out with a four-night run in Los Angeles that begins Oct. 23 …

Singer-songwriter Sara Bareilles and soulful singer John Legend will co-starring in the latest live-musical epic set to air on NBC. The pair, with a complete supporting cast, will take on the respective roles of Mary Magdelene and Jesus Christ in the vintage rock-opera musical, “Jesus Christ Superstar,” which will be executive-produced by the show’s creators, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice. The play itself, complete with all of its iconic Broadway songs and Alice Cooper as King Herod, will be broadcast live from Marcy Armory in Williamsburg (Brooklyn),

MODERN

Bruno Mars

ROCK

BY KRISTI KATES

New York on April 1 (Easter Sunday) …

Queens of the Stone Age is heading up a huge show in London late this spring as part of its trek through the European festival circuit. In addition to an appearance at Croatia’s INMusic Fest, the band will play Finsbury Park in London on June 30, along with co-headliners Iggy Pop, The Hives, and Run the Jewels. The band plans to add even more support acts to really pump up the volume …

Death Cab for Cutie fans, rejoice!

The band recently celebrated the 20-year anniversary of its first performance (an acoustic house show in Washington state attended by only a couple dozen people), and it’s not stopping the music any time soon. In fact, the band is currently prepping its ninth album, which is set to hit outlets this year.

In the meantime, you can check out DCC’s Bandcamp page to listen to that first show and find a very entertaining amateur recording of that first DCC landmark “concert,” in which you’ll often hear more of the audience chatting than you do the band playing…

LINK OF THE WEEK Canada’s own version of the Grammy Awards, The Juno Awards, has announced its nominees for this year’s ceremonies. Among the Canadian artists included are The

Weeknd, Shania Twain, Jessie Reyez, and Arcade Fire. The Junos will be awarded on March 25 in Vancouver, British Columbia.

Get all the rest of the details at the show’s official website, junoawards.ca, eh? …

THE BUZZ The Majestic Theater has two shows of note this week: Keys N Krates on March 11, and OMD (Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark) on March 14 …

Indie rock fans might not know that Garrett Borns, aka Universal Records recording artist BØRNS, is actually a native of Grand Haven; Borns has just released his

latest album, Blue Madonna, to both fan and critical acclaim …

Holland, Michigan’s own Americana singer-songwriter Roger Brown is currently working on tunes for a brand new solo album, which will be his first since his 2013 release, Sometimes You’re Lucky …

Over in Ann Arbor, acclaimed singersongwriter Jonatha Brooke will take the stage at The Ark on March 18 … and that’s the buzz for this week’s Modern Rock.

Comments, questions, rants, raves, suggestions on this column? Send ’em to Kristi at modernrocker@gmail.com.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 29

DOWNTOWN

FOURSCORE

TRAVERSE CITY

4 OSCAR WINS INCLUDING BEST PICTURE!

by kristi kates

The Breeders – All Nerve – 4AD

SUNDAY 1:30 • 4:15 • 7 PM MONDAY, TUESDAY & THURSDAY 12:30 • 3:15 • 6:15 • 9 PM WEDNESDAY 1:45 • 4:30 • 7:30 PM

The Breeders might have reunited back in 2013, but did we get any new music from the band then?

Nope. That’s why this new collection of tracks — the first in 10 years — is such a boon for Breeders fans now. The band taps back into its vintage ’90s sound, including its always distinctive, slightly offkilter harmonies. And those distorted guitars and pointed lyrics are as sharp as ever on tunes like the double-meaning “Do You Love Me Now?” (romance or band?), the “Tainted Love”-inspired title track, and the powerful “Howl at the Summit.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••••••••

FOR WHOM THE BELL TOLLSNR

WED 10:30 AM - Oscar-Winning Debuts! - 25¢ Matinee

UNCLE BUCKPG

FRIDAY NIGHT FLICKS - $3 or 2 for $5 - FREE Pancakes!

DOWNTOWN

IN CLINCH PARK

Traverse CiTy

231-929-3200 • 4952 Skyview Ct.

Charlevoix

Franz Ferdinand – Always Ascending – Domino

231-237-0955 • 106 E. Garfield Ave.

www.schulzortho.com

Now on their fifth album, Alex Kapranos and crew stick to their existing indie-pop formula, with disco beats (often in zany time signatures) holding down the floorboards for the band’s well-known overload of synths, jaunty guitar riffs, and impertinent choruses. Insolence with a grin arrives via “Lazy Boy,” in which Kapranos confirms that he’s perfectly fine with that passive label.

Other highlights, like the anthemic “Finally” and the smartly sarcastic lyrical turns on “Glimpse of Love,” prove that Franz is definitely still on its way upward.

SUNDAY - THURSDAY 1 • 3:30 • 6 • 8:30 PM 231-947-4800

Destroyer – Ken – Merge

Dan Bejar-as-Destroyer’s latest set merges (no label pun intended) an eccentric range of stylistic audio choices with super-short song lengths and quirky pronunciations that make some of these tracks intriguingly different, and others just plain weird.

“Rome” is on the weird side of things, with its toorepetitive refrain and grating guitar; “La Regle du Jeu” (“The Rules of the Game”) is more interesting, at least — but also becomes less accessible about a third of the way through. Your best bet is to start with the ’80s pop of “In the Morning” and see if the other tunes grow on you.

BØRNS – Blue Madonna – Interscope

Garrett Borns, the Michigan-born, Los Angeles-transferred performer with the unique hippie-meets-glam-rock persona, blends faintly funky beats with polished disco-pop for a followup to his critically lauded 2015 album, Dopamine. Accompanied by Andrew McMahon cohort/producer Tommy English, Borns makes solid use of his falsetto vocals (reminiscent of Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon) to craft highlights like “Second Night of Summer” and his teamup with guest Lana Del Rey on the Gen-Y anthem “God Save Our Young Blood.”

30 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

The reel

by meg weichman

RED SPARROW game night

M

Julia Roberts once said Jennifer Lawrence was “too cool” to take up the mantle of America’s Sweetheart. And while the internet has made Lawrence everyone’s BFF for all the crazily relatable things she says and does, and she is arguably one of the biggest movie stars on the planet, it’s very clear with Red Sparrow that she really wants nothing to do with that title. You’re not getting a rom-com from her, or even a standard actioneer. No, you’re getting an extremely dark film that features everything from nudity, torture, and rape to murder and incest.

Teaming up again with her Hunger Games series director Francis Lawrence (no relation), this sexy spy thriller explores similar themes of their previous work together but takes it to a much more disturbing and brutal level (which is saying something, considering The Hunger Games was about forced child-onchild killing).

Dealing in international intrigue and handsomely produced, Red Sparrow has a very promising and prestigious sheen about it — think superior supporting cast, foreign locales, well-budgeted, significant material. Adapted from an Edgar-winning novel, it very clearly aspires to be a much more erotic Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy — the high watermark of this era’s espionage thrillers.

But this middling film never really gets moving. Over the course of its near 2.5-hour (sheesh!) runtime, the tension never really builds, and the thrills never really add up.

Lawrence plays Dominka, a prima ballerina for the Russian ballet, living her dream. But when an unexpected injury (one you’ll never get out of your head), kills her career, Dominka’s situation becomes desperate. (Before the injury, the ballet company had been paying for her apartment and the care of her ill mother.)

Enter good old Uncle Vanya (Matthias Schoenaerts), a high-ranking Russian intelligence officer who thinks the best way to help his niece in her hour of need is to send her to “whore school,” where she will have to either succeed in training or die. OK, so it’s not officially called “whore school.” It’s known as Sparrow School, and its chilling headmistress (Charlotte Rampling) tells her students that their bodies now belong to the state and instructs them how to use sex as a weapon.

The scenes at Sparrow School are both repulsive and fascinating as we watch the students learn how to love on command and perform mind games on one another as they are forced to engage in sex acts in both the classroom and

ax (Jason Bateman) and Annie (Rachel McAdams) are an average suburban couple who met cute at a bar trivia night and to this day still enjoy their weekly game night with friends. But their regular routine of Pictionary, snacks, and wine has it stakes raised in a major way when Max’s incredibly successful older brother, Brooks (Kyle Chandler), comes to town and invites the gang over for an interactive game experience (think murder mystery party).

But everyone gets more than they bargained for when an actual kidnapping occurs, blurring the lines of reality and fiction. See, Brooks’ money might not have been made on Wall Street, and it’s up to Max and Annie to rescue him from an international crime boss. But no one realizes this yet, and when they don’t know they’re in real danger, or that they’re wielding a real gun, or that that’s real blood, it’s an undeniable riot. With an appropriate mix of absurdly humorous situations, decently choreographed action, and interesting interpersonal drama, Game Night makes you care for the characters without resorting to overt sentimentality. It’s not particularly sharp, but it’s never dull, and there are more than the expected share of gut-busting comedic moments. The pieces are put into place over the course of a twisty and turn-y ride, and it all comes together in a very satisfying way. So while this certainly isn’t a game changer of a film, it’s one you’ll like, and it definitely isn’t a charade.

behind closed doors, and then have their performance reviewed in great detail.

There’s a clinical approach to everything that keeps this from being as exploitative as it seems. And there’s even a bit of empowerment to be found, like in an intense scene where Dominka makes a power play on a particularly awful male classmate.

But Sparrow School is a mere stop on our way to the main plot, which unfortunately is never as interesting as the scenes before.

Having shown promise in her training, Vanya gives Dominka her first assignment. A mole in Russian intelligence has been working with the CIA, and Dominka needs to get the mole’s handler, Nate (Joel Edgerton), to reveal the mole’s identity.

So Nate and Dominka do a little will-they or won’t-they dance: Will they sleep together?

Are their feelings for one another real? Who’s playing whom? But without much chemistry, it pretty much fizzles. They both know exactly what the other is up to, so you don’t really care whether they have feelings for one another.

It’s so painfully serious, you’ll wish for more campy moments, which you kind of get from Mary Louise Parker’s boozy chief of staff who just might be interested in trading U.S. secrets.

It’s like she’s acting in a different movie, and while her role is brief, it’s a welcome change of pace.

I almost admire the film’s commitment to being so unappealing, especially for a movie star-driven studio feature, with all its physical and psychological torture and sadistic gore.

But it fails to give us any of the actual politics of international intrigue. It speaks in completely generic “spy” terms so there’s no greater meaning or motivation to be found. Heck, it’s even completely unclear what year the film is set. Is it still the Cold War? Modern day?

All I know is that state secrets are apparently contained on a floppy disk.

Lawrence proves what a compelling actress she can be, making this work as well as it does. She has the charisma and power to pull off just about anything, even though her accent leaves a lot to be desired. But on the heels of the steaming pile of crap that was mother! and at the height of her powers, is it too much to ask that we see something just a shade lighter from her? I’m all about Lawrence pushing herself, but her recent efforts haven’t been anything to crow about.

Meg Weichman is a perma-intern at the Traverse City Film Festival and a trained film archivist.

black panther

D

irector Ryan Coogler (only 31!) already elevated a Rocky movie to the level art with Creed, so it should come as no surprise that he has done the same thing here. Black Panther is the first superhero movie with a nearly all black leading cast, something that’s been a long time coming — too long coming — and Coogler knows the weight of this moment, and boy, he doesn’t waste it. But Black Panther is revolutionary not only because of its cast and crew or Afrocentric storyline but also because what it has to say and how it delivers it in such joyously entertaining fashion — disrupting the very idea of what mainstream Hollywood entertainment can be. What we have here is an origin story but one that skips all the boring origin story-ness. It isn’t about the Black Panther coming into his powers, or really even about super powers, but something far more meaningful. When a vengeful challenger (Michael B. Jordan) to the throne appears, the new king of Wakanda, T’Challa (Chadwick Boseman), rethinks his technologically advanced and isolationist country’s place in the world. Deeply personal and exhilarating, Black Panther brings a welcome real-world gravity to the Marvel-verse. I stopped counting all the times I said to myself, Wow, I haven’t seen that in a movie before, followed by, Wow, why haven’t I seen that in a movie before? And I hope to see lots more movies as bold and as dazzling as this. Because representation matters. Black Panther matters. Go see it!

50 shades freed

5

0 Shades Freed is not unwatchable but more of a ridiculous but-not-ridiculous-enough yawn. And if one thing comes through on this final entry of the popular trilogy, it’s just that its moment has passed. We’ve moved on as a culture, and there might not be a place for this series in a post #metoo era.

If only it had been campier, had a little more awareness, and embraced its awfulness. But it played a far too serious card.

The film kicks off with the innocent Ana Steele (Dakota Johnson) marrying her dark and twisty billionaire boyfriend, Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan). But their wedded bliss is interrupted when it’s revealed that Ana’s former boss (a book editor) is now some kind of hacking mastermind trying to destroy Christian and Ana’s lives.

This is where we get to the film’s joke of a “thriller” subplot. But the film’s main focus is supposed to be on the couple’s sexy, BDSM relationship, yet between their nonexistent chemistry and conservative underpinnings, it’s not nearly as hot as it thinks it is. The romantic fantasy is incredibly simplistic and traditional (girl meets boy, gets ring, gets married, shops for house, gets pregnant, how cute that the man can’t cook) just infused with some light erotica. These underlying basic storytelling devices only succeed in reminding you, Oh yeah, this is — and always will be — just poorly written Twilight fanfiction.

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 31

nitelife

mar 10 - mar 18 edited by jamie kauffold

Send Nitelife to: events@traverseticker.com

Grand Traverse & Kalkaska ACOUSTIC TAP ROOM, TC Tue -- Songwriters Open Mic, 7-9 3/16 -- Andre Villoch, 7 3/17 -- Nick & Luke, 7 FANTASY'S, TC Mon. - Sat. -- Adult entertainment w/ DJ, 7-close GT RESORT & SPA, GRAND LOBBY BAR, ACME 3/10-3/11 -- Jim Hawley, 7-12 3/16 -- Adam Dennis, 7-11 3/17 -- Blake Elliott, 7-11 GAIJIN, TC Wed -- Karaoke, 8

LEFT FOOT CHARLEY, TC 3/12 – Open Mic Night w/ Rob Coonrod, 6-9 3/16 – Dennis Palmer, 6-8 3/17 – Ruby John, Katie O’Connor & Dane Hyde, 2-4 LITTLE BOHEMIA, TC Tue -- TC Celtic, 7-9 MONKEY FIST BREWING CO., TC 3/16 -- Brett Mitchell, 7-10 NOLAN'S CIGAR BAR, TC 3/16 -- Windy Ridge Trio, 8-11 3/17 -- Dane, Ruby & Katie, 6-8

GRAND TRAVERSE DISTILLERY, TC Fri -- Younce Guitar Duo, 7-9:30

PARK PLACE HOTEL, TC BEACON LOUNGE: Thurs,Fri,Sat — Tom Kaufmann, 8:30

HAYLOFT INN, TC Thu -- Open mic night by Roundup Radio Show, 8

SAIL INN BAR & GRILL, TC Thurs. & Sat. -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9

HOTEL INDIGO, BAY BAR, TC 3/10 -- Nick & Jason, 7-11 3/16 -- From the Hidden Agenda Band: Kat, Larry & Marshall, 7-10 3/17 -- Zeke Clemons, 7-10

SLEDER'S FAMILY TAVERN, ON THE PORCH, TC 3/11 -- Kennedy's Kitchen, 4

KILKENNY'S, TC 3/9-10 – One Hot Robot 3/16 – Honesty & The Liars 3/17 – Song of the Lakes & Blue Footed Boobie Tue -- Levi Britton, 8 Wed -- The Pocket, 8 Sun -- Geeks Who Drink Trivia, 7-9

STATE STREET MARKETPLACE, TC 3/17 -- Blue Footed Booby, 12-3; Jack Pine, 3-6 STREETERS, GROUND ZERO, TC 3/10 -- The SAC Presents "Back to the 90's 2,” 10 3/17 -- Jackyl wsg Darwins Project & Derailed, 7

THE WORKSHOP BREWING CO., TC 3/10 -- Chris Michels Band, 8 3/12 -- Rotten Cherries Comedy Open Mic & TC Joke Jam Qualifier #1, 8 Wed -- The Workshop Live Jazz Jam, 6-10 3/16 -- Max Lockwood, 8 3/17 -- Broom Closet Boys, 8 UNION STREET STATION, TC 3/10 -- Brett Mitchell & the Giant Ghost, 10 3/11,3/18 -- Karaoke, 10 3/12 -- Jukebox, 5 3/13 -- Jukebox, 10 3/14 -- DJ Fasel, 10 3/15 -- Time Fugitives w/ Stu Ford, 10 3/16 -- Bangers & Mash, 4-8; then Kung Fu Rodeo 3/17 -- Slowtako, 4-8; then Rootstand WEST BAY BEACH HOLIDAY INN RESORT, TC THE BISTRO: Mon -- Levi Britton, 5 3/13 -- David Chown, 5-6 VIEW: 3/10,3/17 -- DJ Motaz, 10 3/15 -- The Jeff Haas Trio & Laurie Sears w/ Claudia Schmidt & NMC Jazz Lab Band, 7-9:30 3/16 -- Fifth Gear, 7-9:30; DJ Shawny D, 10-2

Antrim & Charlevoix CELLAR 152, ELK RAPIDS 3/10 -- Turbo Pup, 6:30-10:30 3/16 – Jeff Brown, 7:30-10:30 3/17 – Abigail Stauffer, 6:30-9:30 ETHANOLOGY, ELK RAPIDS 3/10-3/11 -- Thrift Prom with Hollywood DJ Deacon Jonze, 8-12 3/17 -- Irish Story Telling w/ David MacDonald, 3-4; Miriam Pico, 8-11 RED MESA GRILL, BOYNE CITY 3/13 – The Real Ingredients SHANTY CREEK RESORTS,

Leelanau & Benzie DICK’S POUR HOUSE, LAKE LEELANAU Sat. — Karaoke, 10-2

PLATTE RIVER INN, HONOR Tue -- Open Mic Night, 7:30 Sat -- DJ/Karaoke, 8

LAKE ANN BREWING CO. 3/13 -- Eric Engblade, 6:30-9:30

ST. AMBROSE CELLARS, BEULAH 3/10 -- The Duges, 6-10 3/15 -- Open Mic, 6 3/16 -- John G & Andy Lynn, 6-9 3/17 -- Alfredo Improv, 6-9

LUMBERJACK'S BAR & GRILL, HONOR Fri & Sat -- Phattrax DJs & Karaoke, 9

CITY PARK GRILL, PETOSKEY 3/16 -- Annex Karaoke, 10 3/17 -- Galactic Sherpas, 10 KNOT JUST A BAR, BAY HARBOR Mon,Tues,Thurs — Live music

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LEO’S NEIGHBORHOOD TAVERN, PETOSKEY Thurs — Karaoke w/ DJ Micheal Williford, 10 Fri – TRANSMIT, Techno-Funk-Electro DJs, 10 Sun — DJ Johnnie Walker, 9 NORTHERN LIGHTS RECREATION, HARBOR SPRINGS THE SASSY LOON: 3/10 – Strobelight Honey, 9:30

SNOWBELT BREWING CO., GAYLORD Tue -- Open Jam Night, 6-9

ALPINE TAVERN & EATERY, GAYLORD Fri,Sat -- Live Music, 6-9

Ladies Night - $1 off drinks & $5 martinis

Fri March 16 - 4-8pm: Bangers & Mash

STORMCLOUD BREWING CO., FRANKFORT 3/16 -- Dos Hippies, 8-10 3/17 -- Evan Burgess, 8-10 3/18 -- Storm the Mic - Hosted by Blake Elliott, 6-9 THE 231 BAR & GRILL, THOMPSONVILLE 3/17 – Larz Cabot

Emmet & Cheboygan

Mon -

Thurs - $1 off all drinks w/Time Fugitives w/Stu Ford

SHORT'S BREWING CO., BELLAIRE 3/10-3/11 -- May Erlewine, 8:3012:30 3/11 -- Battle of the Bands Week Five, 5:30-7:30 3/16 -- The Marsupials, 8:30-11 3/17 -- Whistle Stop Revue, 8-10:30 3/18 -- Battle of the Bands Week Six, 5:30-8

THE TORCH LAKE CAFÉ, CENTRAL LAKE 3/10 -- Jon Archambault, 10 3/13 – Bob Webb, 6-9 3/14 – Dominic Fortuna & Lee Malone 3/15 – Open mic w/ Kenny Shepley, 8 3/16 – Nick Vasquez, 8 3/17 – The Mother Brothers, 9 3/18 – Pine River Jazz Band, 2-5

3/16 – Peril, 9:30 3/17 – Virrus, 9:30 ODAWA CASINO, O ZONE, PETOSKEY Sat -- Funny Business Comedy Show, 9 THE GRILLE AT BAY HARBOR Nightly Music

Otsego, Crawford & Central

THE DISH CAFE, TC Tues,Sat -- Matt Smith, 5-7 Thu – Comedy Open Mic, 7:30-9

Wed - Get it in the can for $1 w/DJ Fasel

BELLAIRE IVAN’S CAFÉ: 3/10 – 90s Dance Party, 9

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the ADViCE GOddESS Remaining Chased

Q

“Jonesin” Crosswords

"An Increasing Problem"--it's in all the papers. by Matt Jones ACROSS 1 Young ‘un 6 “Monsters, ___” (2001 Pixar film) 9 Prehistoric squirrel in “Ice Age” 14 “SNL” alumna Cheri 15 “Boyz N the Hood” actress Long 16 Coffeeshop lure 17 START OF A ONE-LINER 20 Road shoulder 21 Plays first 22 Helper, briefly 23 PART 2 OF THE ONE-LINER 26 “The Wind in the Willows” creature 27 Scouring items 28 Part of the acronym NASCAR 31 Shingle replacer 35 “Mr. Holland’s ___” (1995 movie) 36 Adjust, as text 40 Comedian Chappelle 41 Classic Chevy, for short 43 PART 3 OF THE ONE-LINER 44 Hit the floppy disk icon 45 Mag. positions 46 Growing-sprouts-on-terra-cotta gift 49 Hosp. facilities 50 Held up 52 “All in the Family” creator Norman 54 END OF THE ONE-LINER 57 British comedian known for his one-liners (like this one) 60 Laughfest 61 Plane steerer 63 Chemistry class model 64 “If all ___ fails ...”

65 23rd of 50 66 ___ pot (sinus-cleaning apparatus) 67 Ending for pun or hip 68 “Watching the Detectives” singer Costello 69 Nicholas II was the last one

DOWN

1 “Today” co-anchor Hoda 2 “Am ___ only one?”

3 John with a green-and-yellow logo 4 Eugene O’Neill, for instance 5 Ending for human or planet 6 Place for two (or more) peas 7 S.F. NFLer 8 It makes felines go nuts 9 2012 AFTRA merger partner 10 Vanilla-flavored soft drink 11 “Arrested Development” actress Portia de ___ 12 “Caught a Lite Sneeze” singer Tori 13 President with a specially made bathtub 18 Big trip 19 Heavenly home of the Norse gods 24 Jake Busey, to Gary Busey 25 “Much ___ About Nothing” 28 Go from place to place 29 Impersonated 30 Doesn’t hold back 32 They may get played 33 At all times 34 Baby ___ (some potato options) 37 ___ tai (rum cocktail) 38 Period for the history books 39 Kathmandu’s country abbr., if they were in the 2018 Winter Olympics 42 ___ Cooler (“Ghostbusters”-themed Hi-C flavor) 44 Educational acronym sometimes paired with the arts 47 Bailout request 48 Influential groups 51 In pursuit of 53 ___-garde 54 Uno + dos 55 Mr. Chamberlain 56 Make a call (even though nobody physically does it) 57 “Home” author Morrison 58 “___ creature was stirring ...”

59 Qatar ruler 62 Deck count with two jokers, in Roman numerals

: I have a history of terrible relationships that end in awful heartbreak. The advice I keep getting is to date down -- get together with a man who is less attractive than I am and who likes me a little more than I like him. I was kind of into the idea of equality on all levels, but maybe I’m wrong.

— Rethinking Woman

A

: After you’ve had your heart broken, it’s tempting to opt for romantic safety measures. For example, a garden gnome could be an ideal partner — because few women will fight you for your 18-inch “Man of Resin” and because his stubby little legs are molded together, making it impossible for him to run away.

There’s a name for this “dating down” thing you’re contemplating: “the principle of least interest.” This is sociologist Willard Waller’s term — from his observations of dating dynamics between college students — describing how whichever partner is the least emotionally attached is in a position to “exploit” the other.

Now, you aren’t looking to clean out a guy’s bank account or make him scrub the baseboards with Barbie’s toothbrush. Regardless, you’re likely to have more power in any relationship — and be less likely to be the exploitee — if your response to a guy’s “I love you SO much!” involves polite gratitude or pointing skyward: “Look! A UFO!” The problem is, how do you engineer this sort of situation? Only “swiping right” on men you have the lukewarmies for? Only accepting dates from men you don’t entirely respect? Of course, even an “I’m just not that into you” strategy like this isn’t foolproof, because what anthropologists call “mate value” can shift — like when the mouth-breathing nerdy loser becomes the mouth-breathing but unexpectedly sexy startup multigazillionaire.

Tempting as it is to look for hacks to avoid heartbreak, it’s probably more helpful to look at whether there was anything you could’ve — and should’ve — done differently in your past relationships. (Were there red flags you spotted and then dropped off at Goodwill with the weird tablecloth from your aunt?)

Beyond any willful blindness on your part, the reality is, relationships sometimes end in heartbreak. It’s just the price of getting together with a man you love and lust after —as opposed

to one you approached with “You know, I’ve always kinda pitied you and found you borderline sexually repellant. Whaddya say we get a beer?”

Pedal To The Settle

Q

: There’s a mutual attraction between this guy in my doctoral program and me, and we have great conversations. I’d date him, but he’s in a long-distance relationship. Recently, he started giving driving lessons to earn extra cash. I need to learn to drive a stick shift, so I signed up. This has morphed into our spending time together on weekends, having lunch, etc. My friends say this is a bad idea. But I guess I’m just following my heart.

Is that so wrong to do?

— Crushing

A

: “Follow your heart!” is like that “forget about money; do what you love!” professional advice. And go right ahead with that career in lentil sculpture — assuming you’re looking forward to spending your golden years in a very nice retirement tent.

As for all this time the guy is spending with you, consider that we seem to have evolved to have the romantic version of a spare tire in the trunk — a “backup mate” (to the partner we’re with). Evolutionary psychologists David Buss and Joshua Duntley explain that “mates might cheat, defect” (run off with another), “leave, or die. They might suddenly drop in mate value.”

Their research finds that both men and women seem to maintain backup mates — three on average — and “try to keep their backup mates out of other relationships” (like by giving them false hope during automotive lurchings around the parking lots of closed superstores).

You might also consider that there’s more to making yourself attractive to a potential boyfriend than a few swipes of MAC and Maybelline. Social psychologist Robert Cialdini, reflecting on what he calls “the scarcity principle,” points out that we value is what seems out of reach (as opposed to what’s all over us like orange “cheese product” on a kid’s veggies): “Study after study shows that items and opportunities are seen to be more valuable as they become less available.”

In other words, until a man is girlfriend-free, it’s in your best interest to be about as accessible to him as the upholstery of my late Grandma Pauline’s couch was to the rumps of most of humanity. There were people she would remove the plastic covering for — visiting movie stars and members of the British royal family (a la “I’m bored with St. Barts. How about a slushy January in suburban Detroit?”).

Northern Express Weekly • march 12, 2018 • 33

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(Feb. 19-March 20): Although her work is among the best Russian literature of the twentieth century, poet Marina Tsvetayeva lived in poverty. When fellow poet Rainer Maria Rilke asked her to describe the kingdom of heaven, she said, “Never again to sweep floors.” I can relate. To earn a living in my early adulthood, I washed tens of thousands of dishes in restaurant kitchens.

Now that I’m grown up, one of my great joys is to avoid washing dishes. I invite you to think along these lines, Pisces. What seemingly minor improvements in your life are actually huge triumphs that evoke profound satisfaction? Take inventory of small pleasures that are really quite miraculous.

29, 1953, Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay climbed to the top of Mount Everest. They were celebrated as intrepid heroes. But they couldn’t have done it without massive support.

Their expedition was powered by 20 Sherpa guides, 13 other mountaineers, and 362 porters who lugged 10,000 pounds of baggage. I bring this to your attention, Aquarius, in the hope that it will inspire you. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to gather more of the human resources and raw materials you will need for your rousing expedition later this year.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): The British science

fiction TV show Dr. Who has appeared on BBC in 40 of the last 54 years. Over that span, the titular character has been played by 13 different actors.

From 2005 until 2010, Aries actor David Tennant was the magic, immortal, time-traveling Dr. Who. His ascendance to the role fulfilled a hopeful prophecy he had made about himself when he was 13 years old. Now is an excellent time for you, too, to predict a glorious, satisfying, or successful occurrence in your own future. Think big and beautiful!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): ): New York City

STARTS MONDAY 1/29

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Hawaiian Hoagie

pulled pork, grilled pineapple salsa, housemade sweet chili sauce and fresh cilantro on a bakery roll with house fried pork rinds 15

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is the most densely populated city in North America. Its land is among the most expensive on earth; one estimate says the average price per acre is $16 million. Yet there are two uninhabited islands less than a mile off shore in the East River: North Brother Island and South Brother Island. Their combined 16 acres are theoretically worth $256 million. But no one goes there or enjoys it; it’s not even parkland. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, because I suspect it’s an apt metaphor for a certain situation in your life: a potentially rich resource or influence that you’re not using. Now is a good time to update your relationship with it.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The iconic 1942

movie Casablanca won three Academy Awards and has often appeared on critics’ lists of the greatest films ever made. That’s amazing considering the fact that the production was so hectic. When shooting started, the script was incomplete.

The writing team frequently presented the finished version of each new scene on the day it was to be filmed. Neither the director nor the actors knew how the plot would resolve until the end of the process. I bring this to your attention, Gemini, because it reminds me of a project you have been working on.

I suggest you start improvising less and planning more. How do you want this phase of your life to climax?

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If all goes

well in the coming weeks, you will hone your wisdom about how and when and why to give your abundant gifts to deserving recipients -- as well as how and when and why to not give your abundant gifts to deserving recipients. If my hopes come to pass, you will refine your ability to share your tender depths with worthy allies -- and you will refine your understanding of when to not share your tender depths with worthy allies. Finally, Cancerian, if you are as smart as I think you are, you will have a sixth sense about how to receive as many blessings as you disseminate.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How adept are you

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34 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly

BY ROB BREZSNY

PIScES

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): On May

For Traverse City area news and events, visit TraverseTicker.com

MAR 12 - MAR 18

at playing along the boundaries between the dark and the light, between confounding dreams and liberated joy, between “Is it real?” and “Do I need it?”? You now have an excellent opportunity to find out more about your capacity to thrive on delightful complexity. But I should warn you. The temptation to prematurely simplify things might be hard to resist. There may be cautious pressure coming from a timid voice in your head

that’s not fierce enough to want you to grow into your best and biggest self. But here’s what I predict: You will bravely explore the possibilities for self-transformation that are available outside the predictable niches.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Cultivating a

robust sense of humor makes you more attractive to people you want to be attractive to. An inclination to be fun-loving is another endearing quality that’s worthy of being part of your intimate repertoire. There’s a third virtue related to these two: playfulness.

Many humans of all genders are drawn to those who display joking, lighthearted behavior. I hope you will make maximum use of these qualities during the coming weeks, Virgo. You have a cosmic mandate to be as alluring and inviting as you dare.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): I suggest you gaze

at exquisitely wrought Japanese woodcuts . . . and listen to jazz trumpeter Miles Davis collaborating with saxophonist John Coltrane . . . and inhale the aroma of the earth as you stroll through groves of very old trees. Catch my drift, Libra? Surround yourself with soulful beauty -- or else! Or else what? Or else I’ll be sad. Or else you might be susceptible to buying into the demoralizing thoughts that people around you are propagating. Or else you may become blind to the subtle miracles that are unfolding, and fail to love them well enough to coax them into their fullest ripening. Now get out there and hunt for soulful beauty that awakens your deepest reverence for life.

Feeling awe is a necessity for you right now, not a luxury.

ScORPIO

(Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In the Sikh religion, devotees are urged to attack weakness and sin with five “spiritual weapons”: contentment, charity, kindness, positive energy, and humility. Even if you’re not a Sikh, I think you’ll be wise to employ this strategy in the next two weeks. Why? Because your instinctual nature will be overflowing with martial force, and you’ll have to work hard to channel it constructively rather than destructively. The best way to do that is to be a vehement perpetrator of benevolence and healing.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In 1970,

a biologist was hiking through a Brazilian forest when a small monkey landed on his head, having jumped from a tree branch. Adelmar Coimbra-Filho was ecstatic. He realized that his visitor was a member of the species known as the golden-rumped lion tamarin, which had been regarded as extinct for 65 years. His lucky accident led to a renewed search for the elusive creatures, and soon more were discovered. I foresee a metaphorically comparable experience coming your way, Sagittarius. A resource or influence or marvel you assumed was gone will reappear. How will you respond? With alacrity, I hope!

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The Velcro fastener is a handy invention that came into the world thanks to a Swiss engineer named George de Mestral. While wandering around the Alps with his dog, he got curious about the bristly seeds of the burdock plants that adhered to his pants and his dog. After examining them under a microscope, he got the idea to create a clothing fastener that imitated their sticking mechanism. In accordance with the astrological omens, Capricorn, I invite you to be alert for comparable breakthroughs. Be receptive to help that comes in unexpected ways. Study your environment for potentially useful clues and tips. Turn the whole world into your classroom and laboratory. It’s impossible to predict where and when you may receive a solution to a long-running dilemma!.

NORTHERN EXPRESS

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36 • march 12, 2018 • Northern Express Weekly