Don't let disaster strike when the construction crew arrives. Stock up on essentials to keep your home running almost smoothly. After years of living with mustard yellow cabinets with unruly doors and a stainless steeltrimmed countertop that snagged my favorite suits, I was determined to redo the kitchen. And the mere thought of brand-new appliances made me euphoric. Months before the dumpster arrived in the driveway, I began to fantasize about a purring dishwasher that didn't drown out the sound of the 10 p.m. TV news (my antiquated model with porcelain interior sounded like a B52 taking off when turned on). Clicking through the brandwise appliance pages, visions of cooking souffles and muffins in a self-cleaning wall oven with smooth touchpads danced through my head. Then, the first sign of reality hit: I overheard a colleague kvetching about his home remodeling "nightmare." I thought he was being a wimp; I'm now sympathetic. Having my home "under construction" for two-plus months (the original plan was two weeks) and having survived to tell my tale, here's my take: Remodeling is costly, time consuming and can turn a normal family dysfunctional within a week. It requires shop-'til-you-drop strength, decision-making stamina, and the ability to bite your tongue (but not so hard as to impair your ability to scream) when, say, the Corian countertop arrives with the cooktop opening incorrectly cut. But homeowners can reduce the chaos, confusion and desire to commit homicide if they're prepared. For starters, hire an honest contractor (I played it safe and commissioned a Boy Scout troop leader). Next, budget at least 10 percent more than you'd expect to spend. You might also