Nonprofit Organization U.S. Postage PAID Omaha, Nebraska Permit NO. 454
Spring 2020
How are We doing and how to survive the COVID-19 “
Pandemic”
Healthy Relationships
Dating Basics Mama’s Boiz
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Special Edition for Young People and Young Adults, even seniors.
What's Love Got To Do With It?
But young people you will learn that as you sow, so shall you reap. And sometimes included as part of that “happiness harvest” are sexually transmitted diseases, HIV, and sometimes, an unplanned pregnancy.
What’s love got to do with it? If you love yourself then you know that your body is a temple that should be respected. When anyone can have access to something as precious as your sexual humanity, that -written to young people Editor-Ira Combs RN MS devalues the entire process, it cheapens it. Nobody wants someone that everyone else has had. If you love another person, then love has EVERYTHING to do What’s love got to do with it? The answer is that with it, and it begins with care, consideration, love has plenty to do with it, and it begins with love of appreciation and concern. If you have all of these as it self. If you can’t and don’t love yourself, how are you relates to that other person, then love is possible. If going to be mature enough to love anyone else? The someone loves you, they would never infect you. “it” that is being written about is your body, and giving Love is not just an emotion, as the song implies. someone else sexual access to it. When it comes to young people Delaying sexual contact is and the decision to engage in neither a naïve nor is it a nonwhat I call “erotic exchange,” productive suggestion or option. than more importantly, love is a As young people, you can be DECISION, not some “sweet disciplined in your sexual life if old-fashioned notion.” you have the right information that is needed in order Sometimes it’s life and death decision. for you to make a logical choice. Saving sex before Here at NOAH we have information, brochures, marriage is a common sense solution, but in these days, non-judgmental counselors, that will help you make it is understandable that young people might consider the right decision for yourself. marriage both debatable and questionable. Taking your time with someone you find appealing makes that person even more appealing. By taking time to know that person better, you also learn a lot about your own self-discipline. More importantly, “short term pleasure yields long term pain.”
If you have question you can call 402-933-0737 for an appointment to be screened or These are strange times. Hem lines are going up, just come in and talk, or you can more breasts are being exposed, and young men are becoming increasingly irresponsible as drug laws text a question directly to become more lax and computers and printers can crank NOAH’s Ask-A-Nurse out false IDs faster than ever before. Media and peer pressure are forcing you to use sex as a way to show line at 402-812-0778. that you’ve “got it goin’ on”. “Hooking up” and “friends with benefits” seem to be the order of the day.
Sex and Healthy Relationships
In a healthy relationship, both partners are able to express their feelings and respect each other’s boundaries about sex. You shouldn’t have to have sex to keep your partner. You may feel comfortable kissing or holding hands but not want to go any further. That’s ok. Deciding whether you want to have sex or when you should is a decision you should make when it feels right for YOU. In a healthy relationship, your partner respects your decisions, even when they don’t like them. If you are thinking about when to have sex, keep in mind: •You should feel comfortable with your decision. •Talk with your partner about safe sex practices, like getting tested for STIs and considering birth control options. •Be honest with yourself and your partner. If you’re not ready, that’s ok and your partner should respect it. •If something scares you or makes you feel uncomfortable, you can say no at any time. •You have the right to talk openly and honestly about your fears, worries and feelings. •If your partner tries to threaten or pressure you into having sex, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship. You deserve better. •No matter how long you’ve been with someone or how many times you’ve done something, you have the right to say no at anytime for any reason. •If someone won’t take no for an answer and repeatedly pressures you verbally, emotionally or physically it can be a sign of abuse. •You have control over your body, and no one else has the right to tell you what to do with it. Why is It So Complicated? Having sex can raise the intensity of emotions that people feel for each other — whether you’re in a serious or casual relationship. At times, this elevation is a good and enjoyable thing, but sometimes it makes a hard situation worse. It’s important that you feel ready and confident in your decisions about having sex. Even if you are in a healthy relationship and would like to have sex with your partner, some beliefs or expectations might make this decision more complicated. You and the people in your life might have different ideas about when or what type of sexual activity is alright and what is not. Here are a few ways this might happen: •In your culture or religion, it is expected that you wait until marriage. You might agree, disagree or be questioning this belief. •You feel that your friends or peers will not agree with your decision and you care about their opinions. You might feel like you’re choosing between what you want and what others want, yet you might also share some of the same beliefs. Just remember that you are capable of making your own decisions and creating your own set of values.
Learn to Communicate Only you know what’s on your mind, so unless you express yourself, the other person is only left guessing. Communication is always key to a healthy relationship, and the physical part of it is no different. It can be uncomfortable being completely open when it comes to talking about sex, even with a girlfriend or boyfriend. Still, it is important to push past that and let them know what you like, what you don’t like or if you don’t want to go any further. Encourage your partner to be open as well because it takes practice and patience. Learning to listen is equally, and possibly even more, essential to strong communication. When you show the other person that what they say matters to you, they will be more likely to trust you and listen to you in return. Sex and intimacy are strongly affected by how both people feel, so it really pays off to create a positive atmosphere. Break Out of the Box When people are not sure how to act in a certain situation or not sure what others will think is cool, they tend to try and be who they should be and not who they really are. A guy might be led to believe that he should have sex with a lot of girls and not get emotionally attached to them. On the other hand, a girl might be led to believe that having sex with too many guys is “slutty,” and that girls should “play hard to get.” Stereotypes like these can make it harder for everyone to be honest about what they really want and can also make them feel self-conscious. A relationship will be stronger and more real when both people can truly be themselves both inside and outside of the bedroom. When we question these “rules,” we respect our partner for who they are instead of who they “should be.” What is Sexual Abuse? Sexual abuse is any type of unwanted sexual contact. Forcing or pressuring someone to do something they don’t want or don’t consent to is sexual assault. No one should ever take advantage of you sexually when you are asleep, intoxicated or under the influence of drugs. This can be a very serious and dangerous form of abuse.
COVID-19 How we can survive
A healthcare provider will go over your symptoms. That expert will also consider your travel history or whether you have been in close contact with someone known to have COVID-19. If the person providing telemedicine triage decides you should be tested, you’ll be told where to get the test and a referral/authorization will be arranged. Take your ID. Once you’ve been swabbed (nose and throat), go home, self-isolate and wait it out until you hear the results. Hand-washing is key to stopping the spread of this novel coronavirus Adobe Stock Stop the spread
While health departments, government officials, businesses and others are working hard to slow the spread and mitigate harm, there’s a lot that every individual can do. But it’s hard to know where to start. We’ve put together a guide to help. Symptom checker The first symptoms of COVID-19 typically show up between two and 14 days after exposure.
At a news conference at the Utah Health Department to discuss COVID-19, health workers and reporters were reminding themselves and each other to stop shaking hands. That friendly gesture is a very bad habit given the spread of the highly infectious COVID-19. Fortunately, most of the advice for what everyone can do to help contain the virus is very basic: •
Experts say to watch for fever (88% of cases, according to the World Health Or- • ganization), dry cough (68%) and shortness of breath (about 20%). Close to 40% • of those with the novel coronavirus experience exhaustion and a third complain of excess phlegm. Much smaller shares complain of a runny nose, headache or • diarrhea. WHO said the most severe cases of coronavirus infections may develop pneumonia, severe acute respiratory syndrome, kidney failure and even death. The vast majority of cases — 80% — will be mild and can be managed at home without special treatment. Testing to determine if it’s COVID-19 isn’t even required in those cases. But people should stay away from others any time they are sick. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, certain symptoms should prompt someone to seek medical attention fast, whether it’s the virus or not. They include:
Stop shaking hands. Stop touching your face. Wash your hands often for at least 20 seconds with soap and water (mentally hum the “Alphabet” or “Happy Birthday” song twice). Use hand sanitizer that contains 70% or more alcohol if you can’t wash your hands.
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Avoid groups of people.
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Stay about 6 feet away from others.
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Don’t go to mass events.
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Disinfect surfaces that someone with a virus might have touched or coughed or sneezed on.
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Cover your own cough and sneeze. After you throw a tissue away, wash your hands. If you’re sick, don’t give it to others. Isolate yourself.
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Difficulty breathing or shortness of breath
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Persistent pain or pressure in the chest
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New confusion or inability to arouse
If you are ill, a mask may be helpful to keep your respiratory droplets in and prevent spread. Someone providing care for you might benefit from wearing one. It’s not an effective preventive tool otherwise.
Bluish lips or face The professionals taking swabs to test for COVID-19 need As for that handshake, just don’t. Forego the hug, too. While COVID-19 is circuprotective gear, but it doesn’t really help the general public. lating, keep your hands to yourself. Some tap elbows. Or you can bow, nod, smile or wave. What if I need testing? Supplies for quarantine •
There are a limited but growing number of tests available. Even supplies of the chemicals used to activate the tests are being used very carefully so they don’t run out. And suppliers for the gowns, respirators and other items needed by those performing the test are having a hard time keeping up with incredible demand. Nobody gets tested without triage and a referral. Demand well exceeds supply.
Water, toilet paper and hand sanitizer have been flying off the shelves at stores across America as people prepare for the possibility of quarantine during the pandemic.
You shouldn’t prepare the same as you would for an earthquake or a tornado. “Utilities will function fine. Electricity, potable water, natural gas, you’ll have all that. So set those aside and focus on the things that are really applicable in this It doesn’t help that a worried-well public has snatched up many supplies that circumstance, things you might need because you shouldn’t leave your home,” won’t be particularly helpful to them, but are desperately needed by those provid- Here’s a list of things to have on hand, based on combined recommendations ing care and testing. from health experts, Ready.gov, the American Red Cross and others. Have enough to last at least two weeks. That’s the bad news. The good is this: Most people don’t need to be tested, health experts say. Their symptoms will be mild and they need to take care of Food that you will actually eat, preferably that doesn’t require too much preparathemselves at home and stay away from others until they’re well. tion if you’re sick or caring for someone who is. Still, some will have symptoms that warrant testing. Prescription medication. Most experts recommend you have a month’s supply on hand, but people will have to work with their healthcare provider, insurance comIf you have very severe symptoms, call 911. pany and potentially others to arrange that. In a non-emergency case: Over-the-counter drugs to manage symptoms. Don’t just go to the doctor’s office or emergency room. Contact your healthcare provider through an online app or by phone. And every doctor’s office has some- Cleaning supplies, including for laundry, hand-washing and to disinfect. Several experts recommend products with bleach for hard surfaces like door knobs. They one to help you figure out how to be screened.
don’t know everything about this coronavirus strain, but bleach kills hardy norovirus. Hand sanitizer, at least 70% alcohol. If you can’t find any at the store, don’t buy a $138 bottle. Use soap and water and, regardless, wash your hands frequently. Baby supplies like diapers, wipes and baby’s special foods. Pet supplies because Cinder and Fido will also need to eat for two weeks while you’re quarantined and Roscoe will need clean kitty litter, too. Books, movies, crossword puzzles and projects to help you pass the time. The things you need to work from home, such as a computer or the snacks and drinks you’re used to consuming at work. Cleaning and disinfecting The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention believes people are most apt to be exposed to the novel coronavirus that causes COVID-19 by their closest associates — the family, friends and colleagues we hug and shake hands with and work next to. It’s possible that touching a surface on which an infected person’s respiratory drops have fallen could spread the illness. Health experts are still learning about this strain of coronavirus. CDC says cleaning removes germs from surfaces, but doesn’t kill them. Disinfecting is the death blow, though it doesn’t clean the surface. You want to do both. Clean and disinfect areas that get touched a lot: light switches, doorknobs, toilets, water faucets, remotes, handles, tables, hard-back chairs, cupboard doors. If you can, isolate the sick person in one room and minimize how much others are exposed to that individual. If it’s safe to do so (it might not be a good idea for children or adults with certain conditions), designate a set of cleaning supplies for the ill person’s room to avoid carrying products all over the house. A shared bathroom should be cleaned and disinfected every time an ill person uses it. The how-tos: Wear disposable gloves and then toss them after each use. Don’t use reusable gloves for anything unrelated to COVID-19. Clean your hands thoroughly after you take any gloves off. Clean surfaces with soap and water, then disinfect. “For disinfection, diluted household bleach solutions, alcohol solutions with at least 70% alcohol, and most common EPA-registered household disinfectants should be effective,” CDC says. Bleach can damage some surfaces, but is believed to be most effective. Use ⅓ cup per gallon of water or 4 teaspoons per quart. Use the warmest water possible. The Environmental Protection Agency has created a list of products it says can claim they kill viral pathogens, including presumably this coronavirus strain. For those, follow the directions on the package. The American Chemistry Council has a list of products that should be effective for nonporous surfaces that harbor the virus. Clothing can be washed in the warmest water deemed appropriate for the material. Don’t shake out laundry, as that could spread the virus, but you don’t have to wash the ill person’s laundry separately. Dry it completely. Wear gloves if you are touching the ill individual, his or her laundry, garbage, etc. And wash
Dating Basics Frequently Asked Questions
These are a few frequently asked questions about dating. If you have questions of your own or need more information, you can always chat with a trained peer advocates at NOAH free clinic office What is dating? “Dating” means different things to different people, particularly across generations. At NOAH, we define “dating” as two people in an intimate relationship. The relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or open, short-term or long-term. The important thing to remember is that dating abuse can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships. So, are we dating? Whether you call it “dating” or something else, both people should agree on a definition and the same ground rules for the relationship. Keep these questions in mind: • Do you have romantic feelings for this person? • Are you and the person you’re interested in both looking for a committed relationship? • Do you hang out or go on dates without a group of friends? • Is the status of your relationship something you’ve shared with others in person or online, like on Facebook? • Do both people in the relationship agree that it’s exclusive? Does “hooking up” count? Hooking up is a broad term, but generally it refers to casual encounters between two people who can be friends but don’t have to be. They may or may not be your only partner and can include sex. Even if you are “hooking up,” your partner should not be disrespectful or controlling. You should be able to communicate your feelings without being afraid of negative consequences or abuse. Remember the rules for a healthy relationship apply to hook ups, too. How old do I have to be to date? There is no exact age when you can or cannot start dating. Many parents set an age according to their
Dating Basics perspective, culture, views and beliefs. Consider talking to your parents, family and friends to see what their thoughts are. If you think that talking to your parents might be hard, start with your friends or other adults you trust. Ultimately, what matters is that you personally feel ready and confident to make this decision.
hard. It may cause conflict that makes you feel like you can’t be honest or even near the people you love. Consider why your family doesn’t like your partner or why your partner doesn’t like them. Remember that isolation and no one liking your partner are warning signs of an abusive relationship.
But what if I’m not dating?
We’re not “dating,” how can I be abused?
There are other types of relationships that might not be considered dating that are just as real and that we can help you with here. Maybe you have a child with somebody but do not consider yourself to be in a dating relationship with that person. Having a child together could feel like more than just dating, or you might have chosen not to be together anymore; there is no one way that relationships must work. Another possibility is that you and your partner are married. Of course marriage is different from dating in some ways, but you might be surprised at how similar they really are! What makes a dating relationship healthy or unhealthy usually applies to marriage as well.
Abuse can affect all types of relationships, not just longterm or committed relationships. Even if your relationship is casual or you’ve only hooked up once, you can still experience abuse. If something makes you uncomfortable, scared or threatened, you could be experiencing the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Learn more about unhealthy relationships.
Is holding a grudge towards my partner unhealthy? Yes, holding a grudge against your partner is unhealthy, not only for your relationship but also for you. Holding grudges for a long time can result in building up anger, distress, doubt and a lot of other negative feelings that can make you unhappy and stressed. To maintain a healthy relationship, you need to be able to forgive your partner for their past mistakes. The other option is letting them go. Try to remember: being with a person you cannot forgive is not going to do either of you any good. Is it unhealthy if I date someone my family doesn’t like? Dating someone your family doesn’t like can be really
It’s common for people to not feel comfortable talking about their relationships, especially if they’re unhealthy. This is a hard topic to discuss, but talking about it can help. Here at NOAH Inc., we have trained peer advocators who are friendly, nonjudgmental and available 24/7. So feel free to contact us anytime and know that we’ll keep our conversations completely confidential. Text 402-812-0778
ASK SHANTA D…….. LOVE, LIFE, HEALTH AND HAPPINESS QuestionWith all the buzz surrounding the Coronavirus and the amount of information available daily I’m getting overwhelmed. To some degree I even feel like I’m becoming desensitized because it’s difficult to know who and what to listen to; what & who do you consider to be reputable sources of information? Thank you,
I’m a believer in my own research which can be a lengthy process but for this topic I’ve been leaning on the experts at the CDC, WHO, as well as following federal and local government protocols to do my part. I’ve also stepped up my hand washing game which I think is highly advisable right now. Also, this could be a great opportunity for you to ramp up on activities that you’ve been practicing that embody social distancing (before that label existed). For instance, a solo dance party while getting ready for work (add a few songs to your playlist), enjoying a cup of tea, journaling or reading. You will make it through this, we all will.
py. So many people feel that going to therapy is a sign of weakness or failing and I firmly believe it is the polar opposite. In my opinion, you are well on your way to healing. Wishing you all the best!!!
Question I just recently heard about NOAH and was told all services are free, is that true? How is that possible, what services are available there? Really curious, Jeff
Answer Hey Jeff,
NOAH Clinic offers a variety of free healthcare services. Go to our webQuestion: I’ve been thinking I have social anxi- site, https://www.noahclinic.org/, ety disorder and since I’m not a doc- and check out some of the services tor I’d like to get a formal diagnosis, that would best fit your needs. We have convenient ways to schedule an can I do this at your clinic? appointment too. Ruby
Answer: Hi Ruby,
Thank you for reaching out, it’s really brave of you and I promise you’re not alone. Coming to NOAH is definitely a Answer start. If we are not able to assist your Hey Diane, healthcare needs here, we definitely Thank you for your question. I underwill refer you in the right direction. stand where you’re coming from. Thank you for reaching out, it’s really There is a lot of information flooding brave of you and I promise you’re not various platforms that we see daily. I alone. Asking for and seeking help is try to limit my intake of a huge first step and I congratulate news/updates to one to two times you on taking it. Something I find fasdaily to avoid drowning myself with cinating is the stigma behind therainformation, fear, worry and panic. Diane
NOAH paper is compiled and distributed by North Omaha Area Health Inc. Questions or comments please write the Editor Shanta Roberts at 5620 Ames Ave Omaha Nebraska 68104, or email noahclinic@cox.net or call 402-933-0737
“1 in 2 Sexually active young people will get and STD before the age of 25” Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs, also called sexually transmitted infections or STIs) are very common. Every year there are more than 19 million new cases of STDs in the U.S. By age 25, roughly one in two sexually active people will get one. If you think it can’t happen to you…think again. Since STDs often show no symptoms, many of those infected don’t even know it. The only way to know if you or a partner has an STD is to get tested. Here’s the good news: all STDs are treatable, and many are curable. Putting off getting care for an STD can have lasting health effects for both women and men. Left untreated, some STDs can cause infertility (that is, make you unable to have children). Some can also increase your risk of getting cancer. And get this—already having an STD increases your risk of getting HIV and other STDs if you have sex with an infected partner.
If you notice any changes or irritations “down there,” or any unusual discharge or discomfort when urinating, you should see a health care provider immediately as these may be signs of an STD. However, not all genital infections are STDs. STDs can often be mistaken for common infections or irritations. For example, bumps like pimples or hair follicles on or around the genitals may be con-
fused for genital warts. Women often confuse STDs with yeast infections and other conditions. That’s why it’s important to see a health care provider, who can determine what (if any) STDs you should be tested for. Not everyone likes to talk about their sexual history. But, before you start a new sexual relationship, it’s a good idea to talk with your partner about your sexual history and getting tested for STDs. After all, you are not just having sex with your partner but with everyone they’ve had sex with…and everyone they’ve had sex with…and well, you get the point. It can be intimidating to think about, but taking charge and getting tested will help you take control over the situation.
Wouldn’t I know if I or my partner had an STD? The only way to know if you or anyone else has an STD is to get tested. You can’t always tell by the way someone “looks.” STDs are very common, and it only takes
one sexual experience to get one. Even more to the point: STDs, including HIV, often have NO symptoms. Zero. That’s right. So, many people who are infected don’t even
know it! Want to know for sure? Then Get Yourself—and Your Partner—Tested (GYT). Knowledge is power! Know yourself. Know your status. GYT.
Where do I go to get tested?
NOAH Free clinic 5620 Ames Ave 402-933-0737
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