NMSN Magazine Spring 2021

CAREER CONNECTIONS May, 2021, Vol. 9, Issue 1

A Look Ahead www.nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

TABLE OF

CONTENTS

4 A Military Spouse Renaissance

6 Remote Work - Does COVID Help or Hurt Military Spouse Employees?

8 Self-Care in Style

10 Building A Long-Term Career as a Military Spouse

14 Head to Toe and Move Forward

16 How an Idea Becomes a Law

21 Working OCONUS - Easier Said Than Done

24 The Bottom Line: Your Post-COVID 19 Future of Work

26 Military Spouses Excel at Work/Life Balance

29 Preparing Yourself for Life AFTER the Military The Cover Photo Credit: Trish Alegre-Smith of So Your Life Images for NMSN No part of this publication can be reproduced, stored or transmitted in any form without the written permission of the Publisher.

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President’s Letter

Sue Hoppin Founder & President National Military Spouse Network

What a year it’s been for all of us. Now that we’re beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel, we’re beginning to look forward to what’s next. NMSN is no exception. As we celebrated 10 years of impact in the space, our theme for last year was looking back at how far we’ve come. This year’s theme is “A Look Ahead” – specifically, what’s next on the horizon for military spouse employment. With the assistance of our guest editor, Jennifer Barnhill, we’ve curated some great, targeted articles to help you as you move forward in your careers and businesses.

Spoiler alert – as we look forward to the next 10 years, we’ll be changing the conversation. It’s not enough to hire military spouses, we need to start working on retaining them through PCS moves and other military transitions.

Let’s move past the notion that the Status of Forces Agreements (SOFAs) are barriers to military spouse employment overseas. Instead, let’s take that first step to give military spouses easier access to the information they need to make an informed decision about which overseas installations are more career/businessfriendly to military spouse professionals. Let’s move past the talk about the need to support military spouse professionals and actually incentivize employers to hire them. Whether it’s through the Work Opportunity Tax Credit to include military spouses as a target work group or creating a designated set-aside for military spouse business-concerns under the Small Business Administration, we can make hiring military spouses a no-brainer. Let’s actually measure the efficacy of the programs that have been established to help military spouse professionals, because if they’re not achieving their intended goals, it’s time to try something new. Finally, let’s update the data we’re using to develop these programs and resources. If we’re serious about ending military spouse employment, we need to get serious about the solutions.

As I write this note, our NMSN community is coming off of our amazing annual Day of Advocacy. For the past three years, we have rallied our community on Military Spouse Appreciation Day to connect with our elected officials, thank them for their support and share our challenges and stories. We do this because we need to make sure that our experiences are properly and accurately conveyed to those in positions of leadership.

On any given day, there are all sorts of decisions being made that impact us. As stakeholders, we need to have input into the process. While there are already people working on our behalf, engaging directly with our legislators and their staffers allows us the unique opportunity to advocate for ourselves. Every year, I’m so moved by the military spouses and supporters who come alongside us to advocate for our community. Many of them won’t benefit from the suggested recommendations themselves, but they feel strongly about providing more opportunities for those coming up behind them. Their spirit of giving, of service, never ceases to inspire me. They lend their voices because they know that together we can make a difference.

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A Military Spouse Renaissance

BY JENNIFER BARNHILL

“Leonardo da Vinci, the defining renaissance man and perhaps the greatest intersectionalist of all times, believed that in order to fully understand something one needed to view it from at least three different perspectives.”

- The Medici Effect - Frans Johnansson

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hat does the Italian Renaissance have to do with the military? Maybe nothing. But for anyone who knows what it means to live at the intersection knows that military families are uniquely positioned for creative action.

In his book The Medici Effect, Frans Johansson explains that it is through the intentional juxtaposition of seemingly unrelated things that we stand to find the greatest number and quality of innovative ideas. Essentially, the less granular your knowledge about a specific subject, the more likely you will be able to see connections that others who are more embedded in a subject area or organization can not.

More than Just Resilient Many people like to call military spouses and military children resilient, but I believe that that word should be retired. Resilient implies that they reactively respond to difficulties put before them in a way that sets them apart. Why this is of course true, of both military children and spouses, it is somewhat limited in scope. For military spouses to find professional success in a post-COVID world we must rebrand ourselves. As a result of the pandemic, resilience is now something the entire world can list on their resume.

To compete against our civilian peers who have far fewer personal and professional disruptions we must therefore stop calling ourselves resilient and instead must focus on what we proactively do that sets us apart.

Instead of looking at the patchwork quilt resume of military spouses and instantly labeling them as “Jack or Jills of all trades” or resilient, instead, we should be labeled as Intersecionists.

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Civilians and military workers glean lessons from their personal and professional experiences, drawing on these memories and their education to inform their decision-making. Military spouses have a variety of life experiences that equip them to make innovative decisions. As employees rely upon our memories and past experiences when we problem solve. Those who are forced to move every two to three years have an abundance of memories to choose from when faced with new and complex problems at home or work.

Our ability to pivot through these new experiences over the long term stands to set us apart more than just being comfortable with working remotely.

When lined up side by side with all things being equal, a military spouse holds an advantage, in that his/her lifestyle brings with it diversity of experience and thought. But it is up to us to pat our own backs and claim this skill set by rebranding ourselves.

Writing our own Narratives Whether we know it or not, we write our own narratives about how our military lifestyle impacts our professional careers. If we feel self-conscious about our military-connected status it can significantly hold us back. This plays out most often in the interview process:

Negative Narrative You want to be hired. You know that you will leave in two to three years. You wonder if you should tell them you are a military spouse. You don’t know how to ask for the salary you want. You feel judged, so you take what you get.

Positive Narrative I am a good employee and I bring a lot to the table.

I may have to move, but I’ll give 110% while I’m here.

I have legal protections that prevent an employer from asking about my military status. I did my research and know what others in this job are paid and what I should ask for. I know my worth.

Instead of thinking of moving every few years as a negative, we need to rebrand ourselves as bringing an “outside” perspective, with our diverse experiences giving us the ability to find intersections, similar to a consultant, who pokes holes in established processes and procedures, because they have similarly seen different ideas applied across industries.

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Military spouses balance a lot. We know what it means to serve and the impact of this service. But when we own our “military spouse narrative” we can embrace the fact that data tells us that diverse experiences are assets, not liabilities.

Military spouse “intersectionalists” elevate diversity, produce more innovative and successful outcomes, and allow employers and employees to write healthier narratives. Diversity of thought and experience is central to a post-COVID world must be strategically encouraged, because, who knows, among us might be the next DiVinci.

Jennifer Barnhill is a freelance writer with a focus on military family advocacy, Navy spouse and mother of three. Her reporting has been featured in Military. com, The War Horse, We Are the Mighty, Military Spouse Magazine, Military Families Magazine and TheMilitaryWallet. com. She is the Chief Operating Officer of Partners in PROMISE and serves on both the National Military Spouse Network Day of Advocacy and The League of Wives Memorial Project Committees.

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Remote Work - Does COVID Help or Hurt Military Spouse Employees?

BY CACHET PRESCOTT

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n 2020, organizations were forced to abruptly shift to remote and distributed workforces without any idea of how long this arrangement would last, and almost one year later, they continue to navigate the murky waters of work-life in the midst of a pandemic.

As we inch closer to life beyond COVID-19, companies continue to solidify plans for what the post-pandemic workforce will look like. Many say that remote work is here to stay, and companies are creating long-term plans for remote work in some capacity (e.g. hybrid or remote-first options).

Remote work is nothing new for many military spouses. With the flexibility that our lifestyles demand, many spouses know what it takes to thrive in the virtual terrain. But despite the early adopter advantage, competition has drastically increased with other eager candidates seeking more flexibility in their careers. And now, as companies broaden their recruitment horizons through flexible work arrangements and embracing location diversity, the wider net being cast will capture more interested and qualified candidates along the way.

So, how can you maintain the competitive advantage as a remote work candidate? Here’s what you need to know about standing out in the virtual crowd: Embrace virtual relationship-building to broaden your remote-focused network. Given current limitations for socialization, in-person networking has come to a halt but that shouldn’t stop the show! Continue connecting and relationship building online by:

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•

Utilizing social media. The internet offers an array of platforms that are perfect for making connections, and where you choose to dwell will depend on your goals and who you want to connect with. For instance, Instagram can be a great place to interact with other creatives.

•

Linking up on LinkedIn. In the vein of social networking, LinkedIn is a great hub for all types of professionals. Through connections, follows and groups — peers, thought leaders, recruiters who specialize in virtual recruitment, other remote professionals, remote-friendly companies — you can use this space to engage in relevant conversations, ask questions, share information and learn about remote career

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•

opportunities (which you can find on LinkedIn’s job boards). And military spouses can get LinkedIn Premium for free!

that will lend to your success in a virtual work environment: transparency, ethics and remotefriendly communication to name a few.

Attending virtual networking and recruitment events for remote professionals. Explore opportunities to connect through remotefriendly events through internet searches, social media and through your network. For instance, Workplaceless hosts a monthly virtual networking event for those in the remote workforce.

In a recent article on the Doist blog, Courtney Seiter, Director of People at Buffer shared:

Target your search and your materials. Nowadays, the internet is overrun with remote work opportunities, and you might be tempted to apply for whatever positions come your way. Resist the urge.

Quality trumps quantity in a virtual job search, just as it would in a traditional one, both in the positions you pursue and the effort you put into each application. Narrow your search to the jobs you desire, and tailor your materials for each position you apply for; generic, one-size-fits approaches don’t effectively do the job. When appropriate, consider including a short video in your application to add a unique touch and to highlight a skill in a creative way.

Also, search for positions on remote job boards such as FlexJobs and RemoteBliss; on general job boards by searching for terms like “remote” or “virtual”; and directly on company websites to see what’s available.

Demonstrate your remote working value add.

Remember, you’re not the only person vying for a WFH (work from home) position, and the competition can be fierce! Make your application stand out and show ‘em what you’re made of by: •

Being clear and consistent in your personal brand, and make sure your online presence aligns with that brand.

•

Following all requirements for applying. This includes cover letters if a position asks for them.

Though it may seem unnecessary or optional, this may demonstrate whether or not you’re able to follow directions so don’t fail the test! Again, the goal is to stand out, not count yourself out.

•

In addition to sharing your job-related knowledge, skills and abilities, highlighting skills

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“many folks mention that they have experience working remotely or a passion for remote work as the way of the future. The next step that really stands out is to share what remote work allows you to do. Are you more focused? More creative? More communicative? How will those qualities display themselves in the work and lead to great outcomes for the company you hope to work with? ” •

Not overdoing it. Well-intentioned candidates sometimes make the mistake of eagerly sharing how much they want to work remotely. My advice: don’t. Again, value add is the focus in this competitive market, and an overly eager approach only serves as a turnoff -- if prospective employers think this is your primary motivation for applying.

Personal growth coach, Cachet Prescott helps others proactively move from where they are to where they want to be.

From skill development to goal setting and strategy building to simply serving as an objective sounding board to work through challenges, Cachet empowers you to BE your best so you can DO your best (to pursue and ultimately your personal and professional goals).

Cachet’s advice and insights have been featured on Careers in Government; GI Jobs; Military Spouse Magazine; Blue Star Families; The Muse; Thrive Global; The Huffington Post; Introvert, Dear; DailyWorth; Fast Company; FlexJobs; International Business Times (IBT); LearnVest; Monster and Recruiter.com.

A double certified HR professional, Cachet also holds a Master’s in Sociology from the University of Georgia; a Master’s in Industrial/Organizational Psychology from Fairfield University; and a Bachelor’s in Sociology from the University of Virginia.

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Self-Care in Style GETTING DRESSED IS YOUR SUPERPOWER

Outfitted for Productivity

BY ERIN HODGKINSON

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ou have been there. You want to stay in your modal PJ’s all day. Changing into “real” work clothes feels overwhelming. The idea often seems idyllic in the morning. However, throughout the day your energy plummets and your avoiding people. Could your loungewear be to blame?

The option to never get out of your sweatpants can be enticing, In a WFH environment it is challenging to stay motivated to engage in a get-ready routine.

THIS IS WHY Personal style is a form of self-care. It is right up there with exercising and eating well, yet often overlooked as frivolous and not for serious people.

If you believe that what your wearing has a physical and psychological effect on how you behave you will appreciate fashion as a contribution to productivity.

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VISUAL EXERCISE: Take note of how you feel and the physical changes that occur. Let’s put on a LBD -- Little Black Dress. Close your eyes and imagine for a minute you have an evening event to attend! Put on your favorite black dress and complete the outfit with any one accessory (earrings/necklace/bracelet) and shoes. Top to bottom look at yourself in the mirror.

You may have noticed yourself quickly sitting up and forming better posture (even if you were sitting down). Perhaps, you saw yourself in heels for the first time in months. Or you may have slumped in defeat at the mere thought of dressing up.

Did your dress make you feel more or less attractive, confident, powerful or even frumpy and uninspired? Maybe your dress was armor to hide behind or gave you moves like Jagger.

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Put a pair of high heels on a fouryear-old and watch her transform into J-Lo. You are not going to convince her today she cannot record a multi-platinum album or perform for an audience of 50K. What you have done here is given yourself permission to behave differently simply based on what you imagined you were wearing! And it was merely a thought. Imagine what transpires when you step into that dress.

HOW CLOTHING AND PRODUCTIVITY INTERSECT If your outfit feels “pulled together” the more likely you are to take advantage of: • Opportunities for growth - you are likely to jump on a Zoom call in a moment’s notice with a new client/collaborations • Being authentic - people connect with your personal appearance (over 50% of what you are projecting is visual).

• Confidence - making tough decision owning mistakes.

• Daily tasks - viewed as approachable and with optimism.

Opportunity will come knocking. When it does you want to feel powerful, capable and exude credibility.

Conversely, staying in your new favorite jammies can lead to: • Being more reclusive than usual - avoiding meetings and interactions with co-workers/clients • Making the afternoon slump way too inviting for a long winter’s nap • Rushing through tasks for the sake of jumping back into Netflix • Your family not taking your work time seriouslymore interruptions.

DAYS FOR COMFORT Go ahead sit on the couch in your comfiest when you need to envelop the exhaustion, on long, or sluggish days. Your sweats will give you the permission you need to do so. Remember you do not have to sacrifice comfort for style when sneakers can pull together a polished look.

Erin Hodgkinson founded Frilly Simple, a women mobile micro-boutique in 2013.

The brand has expanded to include locations nationally and internationally. She approaches fashion as a means to motivate milspouses and milmoms to elevate their everyday. Erin grew up in colorful Colorado where her formal education includes a BA in English, as well as a teaching certification.

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Building A Long-Term Career as a Military Spouse PLAN AHEAD & PLAN FOR CHANGE

BY KATE LEWIS

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hen Lindsay Kennedy began her career in finance in 2007, she never could have foreseen the worldwide turn her career would take. Yet after falling in love and marrying her active duty Navy husband, things quickly changed.

Over the past fourteen years, she’s lived and worked in the Republic of Korea; the Kingdom of Bahrain; Djibouti, Africa; and Norfolk, Va. Military spouses like Kennedy are intimately familiar with the tolls each Permanent Change

of Station (PCS) move can take on a career. From professional licenses and certifications that don’t transfer between states, to rebuilding and maintaining a network, to explaining the multiple jobs and gaps on your resume, it can be tough to build a corporate career as a military spouse beyond the obstacles.

Yet no matter where you are on the corporate ladder, read on for advice on how to start, continue, and further a career, from anywhere in the world.

Plan Ahead to Embrace Changes Kennedy began her finance career in local government, making more at the time than her soon-to-be-husband.

Once married, she foresaw the challenges multiple moves might bring and began to expand her expertise. She pursued work that could translate into future Department of Defense contracting and finance positions, a skill set that would Lindsay Kennedy is an Accredited Financial Counselor (AFC®) with a Master’s Degree in Public Administration (M.P.A.) from Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Virginia. Her expertise focuses on personal financial planning, coaching, and educating, and financial analysis and management.

Lindsay has been a military spouse since 2007. Her husband is on active duty serving in the United States Navy. They have two young children, a 7-year-old and a 4-yearold, who was born in Seoul, Korea.

Lindsay arrived in the Florida Panhandle in January 2021, after living and working in The Republic of Korea, The Kingdom of Bahrain (2010-2012 and 2019-2020), Djibouti, Africa, and Norfolk, Va.

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Mary Fox is the Vice President of Business Development & Strategic Growth for Sommer Consulting, where she leverages cutting-edge digital and linguistic capabilities with well-established research methods to provide impactful strategic direction to clients in healthcare, life sciences, and tech. She is a Forbes Business Development Council Member and earned her M.A. in Applied Linguistics from Old Dominion University.

serve her well as her family moved around the world.

“The goal for our family has always been for me to be a working professional outside the home in a field I enjoy,” said Kennedy.

With each change of station, she kept that overarching goal in mind and reinvented what was possible for her future. She was willing to take on roles that were not necessarily promotions, and if setbacks like layoffs occurred, she was open to the possibility of new roles, including self-employment, to meet her goal.

For Navy spouse Mary Fox, it was a side gig teaching English during her family’s tour in Japan that ultimately led to her current position as Vice President of Business Development & Strategic Growth for Sommer Consulting.

When the Foxes returned to the States, she pursued a master’s degree in Applied Linguistics with the intention of having a portable career as a teacher of English as a second language, something she could do anywhere in the world.

Her talent in the field led her to a position with a healthcare startup, where she spearheaded an MAY 2021

innovative method to gain insight into patient needs, and then to Sommer Consulting, where she oversees everything from qualitative interviews to social media analyzation in her vice president role.

For Fox, the quick thinking and flexibility she gained as a military spouse is one of her key strengths as an employee and leader. “Those are rare skills to find in employees,” she said. “As spouses, we’re so used to moving anywhere, figuring out how to do anything, and that sort of mental flexibility and openness to new experiences and ways of doing things is worth its weight in gold.

Play that up and really emphasize it as part of your brand!”

Diversify Your Résumé “In addition to doing at least one thing [at] every duty station outside of your professional comfort zone and always having a side-hustle, I wholeheartedly believe in the power and importance of support, networking, and knowing your resources,” said Kennedy.

Military bases and units often offer a plethora of volunteer roles to begin building a base of nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

knowledge in a variety of fields.

But to build a truly competitive résumé, consider casting a wider net. Explore each duty station for volunteer opportunities or internships in corporate positions in your desired field. The short duration of these positions can often serve as a launching pad for paid employment, and as a résumé booster for your next move.

Find Free Resources “I tell all military spouses before you pay for something to make yourself competitive in today’s job market there is most likely a free resource available to you.

Use those resources!” Kennedy said. She regularly recommends Military OneSource, among others, to those looking to start a career in finance and financial services.

Fox encourages spouses to support furthering their education with scholarships and grants designed for military spouses.

“I applied for and was awarded an AAUW Career Development Grant that paid for the entirety of my childcare during the second year of grad school. My husband was deployed and we had two very young children.”

Many families want to keep their servicemember’s G.I. Bill for children, and financial aid for spouses can be a lifesaver for those wanting to further their education. Numerous organizations, publish lists of aid available to spouses, and many schools around the country, such as Syracuse University and The American College of Financial Services, offer programs specifically designed to support military families as they pursue their dreams.

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Rethink Networking & Spouses Clubs “Never underestimate the power of networking,” Kennedy said.

Quick lunches, coffees, and happy hours are instrumental for maintaining connections, and she schedules them at least twice a month whenever possible.

But in a world where long-term remote work is becoming even more probable, she encourages spouses to take advantage of the multitude of opportunities for online networking. Among her favorites are Hiring our Heroes Military Spouse Professional Network Chapters, Blue Star Families Spouseforce, and USO Military Spouse.

Rethinking the future of work for military spouses is among Fox’s passions as well. “I want to see aggressive connections

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and employment outreach opportunities via spouse clubs.

I want to see recruiters connect with spouse clubs. I want to see an Amazon employment event hosted during a spouse club night,” she said, echoing recent military programs to boost partnerships between military and civilian sectors. “There are so many brilliant, talented spouses, and the more they stay employed and happy, the longer their active-duty spouses will consider staying active duty.”

Support Other Military Spouses The biggest impact you can make in building your career is supporting others in building theirs.

“Military spouses are your community. Seek them out for professional services,” said

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Kennedy. “Every duty station I hire and promote military spouses. They are my doulas, photographers, real estate agents, cookie-makers, bakers, nannies, child-care workers, spiritual leaders, fitness and yoga instructors, lawyers, writers, doctors, teachers, financial gurus and tax preparers. Find these spouses and pay them their worth for that knowledge, skills, and abilities you may not have!”

Kate Lewis is an essayist and journalist who has written for The New York Times, The Washington Post, and Savvy Tokyo.

She is the monthly book critic for Military Families Magazine. Find her online @katehasthoughts.

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MADE FOR

MILITARY SPOUSES USAA.COM/JOIN or call 800-531-8521 No Department of Defense or government agency endorsement. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply and are subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates. © 2020 USAA. 266283-1020

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Head to Toe and Move Forward

BY JJ MONTANARO, CFP®

T

he past year and a half have been challenging, to say the least. With all that has happened, our natural reaction as we emerge on the other side of the pandemic could be to put our heads down and charge ahead to the high ground of better times. But as tempting as that may be, I’d suggest a more measured approach, inspired by my experiences living in a house with three family members on the health care front lines.

To stay healthy, we could all use a head-to-toe financial assessment. Here are a few questions you can ask as part of your assessment — and some steps to consider as you move forward: How fragile are your finances?

Back in 2019, the government shutdown reminded us that even those with seemingly reliable income streams are not immune to income disruptions.

However, that only foreshadowed the job market troubles of 2020. Overall, military families, with the financial foundation provided by one safe income stream, fared relatively well, but there was still significant pain. The utility and importance of an emergency fund were once again validated.

Action: If you have one and were forced to deplete it, now’s the time to reconstitute your go-to cash. If you’re a dual-income family and were forced to modify your spending to navigate the pandemic, don’t just return to business as usual. Craft a spending plan that allows you to shift into “military-paycheckonly” mode. Right now, that approach could free up funds to pay down debt, save, invest and, yes, have fun without leaving you extended if circumstances again leave you with one paycheck.

Are you surrounded by the right team?

A spirit of independence and self-reliance is a hallmark of service members and their families.

However, those admirable traits shouldn’t keep you from connecting with folks who can help you in 14 | NMSN Magazine

uncharted waters. For example, my oldest daughter — not in the medical field! — and her husband are a couple of years into their new real estate business. While I’ve always done their taxes, this year I encouraged them to get an accountant who specialized in working with real estate professionals.

Maybe you need a lawyer to help with your estate planning or could use a financial planner to pull together all the pieces of your plan. Here’s the reality: Taxes, insurance, estate planning and investing are all interrelated, and a financial planner might be able to help.

Action: Take a look at your finances and figure out whether now is the time to expand your “advice circle.”

How’s your debt load?

I’ve often said that just because someone will lend you money doesn’t mean you should borrow it. The pandemic has driven home the point that the less debt you owe, the more flexibility and options you have. As we turn the corner on this virus, let’s not forget that lesson. Don’t let the relief — yes, I feel it — of getting to the other side translate into financial decisions you could regret later.

Action: Examine your personal balance sheet. Now is a great time to map out your plan to pay down that debt!

Did the headlines shape your decision making?

I’ve watched more news over the last year than I have over the last decade. You probably have, too.

Honestly, staying informed is good, but it may not help you make good decisions. Did you find your mood ebbing and flowing with the last headline you read, saw or heard? Did your well-thought-out plans survive the onslaught of emotions or wilt at first contact? While it’s important to stay informed, you don’t want the topsy-turvy news of the day to shape your purchasing, investing, or spending decisions.

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Action: I’ve long been a proponent of a “cooling-off” period before major decisions. This approach might be something you can adopt before the next barrage. If there’s anything I’ve learned over the last 25 years, there will be another situation that threatens your personal financial plans. And when it comes to plans, ask yourself …

Have your short, medium, and long-term plans been impacted by the pandemic?

As we transition to better times, it’s easy to see how priorities may have changed. It’s highly likely that your cash flow and spending plan have been impacted – probably in both good ways and bad. Good? I’m thinking there may be spending and savings habits you might want to take forward from the pandemic.

Action: Set aside time for a family planning session to reassess what you want to accomplish from a financial perspective. Review your goals and next steps designed to get you to the point of “mission accomplished.”

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There you go, a little “financial head-to-toe.” I’m blessed to be surrounded by an amazing family and thankful for all they do for our family and our community.

This material is for informational purposes. Consider your own financial circumstances carefully before making a decision and consult with your tax, legal or estate planning professional.

USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates.

No Department of Defense or government agency endorsement.

Joseph “JJ” Montanaro is a financial planner with USAA’s Military Affairs’ Advocacy Group and is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER professional (CFP®).

He is a native of Kansas City and graduated from the United States Military Academy, West Point, New York.

Montanaro has more than 20 years of experience as a financial planner. He served in the US Army for six years on active duty and retired as a lieutenant colonel in the United States Army Reserve. JJ’s financial advice has appeared in numerous outlets including the Wall Street Journal, USA Today and the New York Times. He writes monthly personal finance columns for Military Spouse Magazine and American Legion Magazine and hosts the USAA Money Drill podcast.

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How an Idea Becomes a Law

BY SARAH STREYDER

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f you’re reading this article right now, then you care about military spouses and their employment outcomes. You probably even have some policy solutions in mind that could make improvements.

But how can individual advocates like you and me actually get our ideas into policy? While it is complicated, the process is more accessible than it looks.

Remember Schoolhouse Rock?

If you’ve heard the song “I’m Just a Bill,” then you know the basic process for passing a law:

legislative package that includes an authorization for the military budget. Any amendment to this bill, assuming it’s included in the final version, is virtually guaranteed to pass.

Some notable examples: Remember in 2019 when the Widow’s Tax finally got repealed? Happened in the NDAA. Remember the beginning of the U.S. Space Force as its own military branch? Also NDAA. Remember when military spouses were allowed to be reimbursed for their transfer of licenses across states? You guessed it — NDAA. As a result, the process for getting military-related legislation passed looks a little different than Schoolhouse Rock.

Most of the Work Happens at the Committee Level With a regular stand-alone bill, most of the legislative drafting happens in the offices of individual Members of Congress prior to getting introduced. (One of many reasons why voting in elections is so important!) From there, it’s mostly about pushing that single idea through the process, with some potential for amending.

1. Ideas get written into bills.

2. Bills have to pass votes in committees and on the floors of both chambers of Congress.

3. The President signs bills into law.

Easy, right? I wish our work as advocates were that simple...

Unfortunately, a lot of military family issues don’t get voted on as “stand-alone” bills like that. Instead, our community’s issues typically get added into a huge overarching bill called the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) that gets passed through Congress every year. The NDAA is a massive annual 16 | NMSN Magazine

For our military advocacy, the NDAA is considered a “must-pass” bill because funding the military is largely seen as a necessary and bipartisan action.

So our focus as advocates is on getting our priority items included in this legislative vehicle that will move forward. That initial bill drafting happens in the Armed Services committees of each chamber.

This step is the easiest place for wonks, family advocates, and paid lobbyists to get their issues included from the beginning before the theatrics kick in.

Your Next Chance Is the Amendment Process If your issue gets left out of the bill by the time it leaves committee, do not lose hope! You can still encourage your representatives to get it added

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HOW AN IDEA BECOMES A LAW

back in as an amendment to the bill once the NDAA gets to the floor of the House of Representatives or the Senate. Again, because the NDAA has to pass - unlike regular stand-alone bills that can simply die - it’s guaranteed to get a vote on the floor, so Members of Congress love to propose amendments on issues where they want to force a vote.

For instance: during the 2020 NDAA process, foreign policy advocates like my organization, Secure Families Initiative, pushed for an amendment that would repeal the 2002 Authorization for Use of Military Force (AUMF) Against Iraq. This outdated authorization is no longer needed for ongoing operations, but it leaves open the door for presidential abuse of power. This amendment passed a floor vote and got added to the NDAA bill text. (Read on to see if it passed.)

IDEA Community

HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES or SENATE

Bill Drafted

NDAA PATH

Tabled

Committee

Failed

Sent to Floor

Failed

Floor Vote

VETO PRESIDENT

Failed Failed

Now that you understand the legislative lifecycle, let’s apply it to Recommendation #1: “Collect more granular, baseline data about the state of spouse employment through the Department of Defense’s (DoD) annual Survey of Active Duty Spouses.”

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SASC Committee

Initial Bill

Initial Bill

Markup Amendments

Markup Amendments

Floor Vote

Floor Vote

Passed

Conference

Failed

Passed

HOUSE Vote LAW PASSES

Finally, Watch Out for the All-Too-Tricky Conference Step!

An Example from the NMSN White Paper

Hearings NDAA PATH

HASC Committee

Historically, NDAA amendments are more commonly used in the House than the Senate.

Not every amendment that is proposed gets a vote — the list of votes is decided on by the Rules Committee — so it’s important to track closely.

Many a priority item has magically disappeared during this fateful step. Remember that 2002 AUMF amendment I just mentioned? Tragically, it didn’t survive the NDAA conference — despite the fact that we won the floor vote battle, we lost the legislative war. Vigilance is required until the end.

Congressional

DOD

INACTION

The NDAA versions that get passed by the House and the Senate are never identical. Inevitably, the bills have to go to conference — a small appointed group of Representatives and Senators who meet to decide what final compromised version gets referred to the White House. If your mind’s eye has conjured an image of power players smoking cigars in back rooms... you’re not far off. This is the “room where it happens.”

MSO*

SUPPORT

SENATE Vote PRESIDENTIAL Signature

©NMSN 2021

*Military Service Organization

This is a great example of a policy change that doesn’t necessarily need legislation to happen — the DoD could add questions to an existing survey without legal obligation. But codifying such an important component certainly doesn’t hurt, especially when this seemingly logical detail has been omitted from surveys in the past.

The first step for advocates is to gather support for this idea. Gather stories of military spouses whose unemployment experiences aren’t currently captured by the existing survey. Identify a DoD ally who can speak to the recommendation’s feasibility.

Then bring those experts to meetings with key Members of Congress on the House or Senate Armed Services Committees.

Ideally, these meetings will result in this recommendation getting written into the original bill draft. If not, it’s time to pivot toward amendments.

Is there another Member of Congress willing to introduce one? Make it easy by drafting sample amendment text their staff can use. Grassroots

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activism can help at this stage — get spouses to call, email, and Tweet at their representatives to support this change.

Now let’s say your amendment passes — congratulations! Your recommendation just got included in a must-pass bill. Your job isn’t quite over, though — beware of the formidable conference process through which many a good idea has suffered great peril. Make sure your activists know to keep up the pressure, even when the process seems opaque.

Looking Beyond Chances are that military spouse employment isn’t the only public policy problem you care about. We are all complex beings with passions and grievances up the wazoo. For me, I get really fired up about foreign policy stuff. I’ve lived, studied, and worked abroad. I’ve seen how our country’s decisions over war and peace directly impact our families on the homefront. Every family that serves in the military makes sacrifices, and I profoundly care that my spouse’s service is used toward virtuous ends.

That’s why I started the Secure Families Initiative.

We produce a lot of resources for military partners 18 | NMSN Magazine

and loved ones who want to effectively advocate for themselves and their families. We especially inspire families to weigh in on the big national security issues — don’t worry, we do the research homework for you. Definitely sign up to be a member and/or a volunteer if nonpartisan civic engagement is your jam!

The National Military Spouse Network does similar work, training their volunteers during their annual “Day of Advocacy.” Together our organizations are building a community of civically engaged individuals who can inspire and support each other.

Sarah Streyder is the Executive Director of Secure Families Initiative and an active-duty Space Force spouse. In 2020, she was recognized as the AFI Quantico Spouse of the Year. Sarah has previously worked at the White House, the United Nations, and has a Master’s in Public Policy from Cambridge University.

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MAY 2021

SUPPORT MILITARY SPOUSE-OWNED BUSINESSES dummy—you just need real solutions and dependable connections.

Nationally recognized for her expertise, sought-after for her advice, Sue can help you address every aspect of military spouse and family issues.

Annie Brock & Co Email: anniebrock@ anniebrockandcompany.com Website: anniebrockandcompany.com Member Name: Annie Brock Annie knows how to help people and organizations accelerate their performance; she helps them generate and implement innovative breakthrough ideas. She. An expert in multi-sector leadership and a Six Sigma Black Belt, Annie can help with new product development, program evaluation, process improvement, and change management. She believes each of us must realize that we can be the person who makes the bigger difference in our organization, and in our community.

G Luxe Travel Email: garrety@g-luxetravel.com Website: http://www.g-luxetravel. com Member Name: Garrety Kelly Traveling the world is an exciting and daunting experience. Where should you stay? What should you visit? Where are the hidden gems that only the locals know about? As your luxury travel advisor I know where to look! Gone are the days of travel agents sitting behind their desk, ask me--I have been there! My experience, attention to detail, and passion to create the perfect travel experience all combine to form a customized personal experience.

Add your name to the growing list of organizations that have benefited from Sue’s clear guidance. With a proven track record working in the non-profit, governmental and corporate sectors, Sue will help you build true synergy between your organization and the military audience you seek to engage with.

Krista Wells, Military Spouse Coach Email: krista@militaryspousecoach. com Website: http://www. militaryspousecoach.com/ Member Name: Krista Wells

Conflict Management Strategies Inc Website: http://www. managingconflict.com/ Member Name: Carol Bowser As an expert in workplace conflict, I help businesses and organizations improve productivity, increase employee retention and engagement by helping them manage and prevent costly workplace conflict and tension.

I help spread the gospel of “Managing Conflict-Empowering People.”

MAY 2021

Hoppin Consulting International, LLC Email: sue@suehoppin.com Website: http://www.suehoppin.com/ Member Name: Sue Hoppin

Dr. Krista Wells coaches military spouses ready to live up to their full potential. She helps them create more health, wealth, and deeper relationships. Coaching can help you map out your life vision and make an action plan to achieve it. She meets with military spouse clients over the phone and helps them stick to their plan, so they achieve more, faster and easier than without a life coach.

Try a free coaching session (just mention NMSN).

Founder of the National Military Spouse Network and co-author of “A Family’s Guide to the Military for Dummies”, Sue knows you’re no nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Member Name: Melissa Whiteford St. Clair

Laura Hearn - First Financial Group Email: lahearn18@gmail.com Website: https://www.ffgadvisors. com/laura-hearn Member Name: Laura Hearn I am fortunate enough to be a financial professional and have a mastery of financial concepts and the ability to help people gain financial confidence through my planning process. What I have discovered recently via some of my clients, is that women -- even smart, professional women, who are AMAZING at so many things -- typically have large deficits when it comes to finances, and it has nothing to do with intelligence. When divorce, death, and other untimely events occur, they, their kids, families and loved ones, as data shows, are statistically at greater risk of personal and financial disaster because they don’t know their numbers, where the information is, the passwords, or where to turn to for help. It is my personal mission to help more women become more confident in their finances through transparent, empowering, and educational planning directed to protect & maximize their cash flows.

Paper Chaser – Virtual Administrative Services

Melissa St. Clair, owner of Paper Chaser Biz LLC, a Certified Virtual Expert® provides professional administrative services, project management, and operational support to entrepreneurs. She has a strong understanding of resource management and operational efficiency, readily adopting the latest innovations and technologies into her practice. Melissa shares her business expertise as a speaker, mentor, and workshop leader on multiple media platforms and has been quoted in Julie Perrine’s book, Become a Procedures Pro™; and is the author of Home Work A Collection of Poems Sparked by One White Woman’s Journey on the Matter of Race (©2021).

Schofield Strategies Website: http://schofieldstrategies. com Member Name: Amy Schofield Schofield Strategies, LLC develops custom-tailored personal branding packages, including resumes, cover letters, and LinkedIn profiles, that make your strengths stand out, are easier for a hiring manager to read, and utilize today’s applicant tracking system trends. Are you looking for a new job or wanting to explore a new career? Are you a transitioning military member? Are you reentering the workforce after taking time off? Then you should take advantage of utilizing our resume services!

Email: melissa@paperchaserbiz.com Website: http://www.paperchaserbiz. com/ 20 | NMSN Magazine

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So Your Life Images

By Trish Alegre-Smith Email: trish@soyourlife.com Website: www.soyourlife.com Is your work or business driven by a strong sense of purpose and desire to inspire people to action? Trish AlegreSmith is a Washington, D.C. area visual artist who creates the images that share your story--consistently across all platforms. As an Air Force veteran and northern Virginia (#NoVA and #DMV) native, she has a significant background working with government agencies, federal contractors, a diverse range of businesses and individual professionals. Trish and her team offer branding photography (includes headshots, signature event coverage, social media and website content), commercial photography, and press photography. Do you have a project outside the D.C. area? Trish has associates and team members across the country that may be able to help.

Sunny Sankalpa Yoga Email: Sunnysankalpa@gmail.com Website: www.laurenlarryyoga.com Sunny Sankalpa yoga is a mobile yoga studio committed to inclusivity for all people. Sunny Sankalpa focuses on breath, mindset and movement in online and socially distanced classes.

MAY 2021

Working OCONUS Easier Said Than Done

BY CARLA WYRSCH

S

earching for a job is tough. Searching for a job during a global pandemic presents unique challenges. Searching for a job during a global pandemic while living overseas creates the perfect storm for military spouses.

When military spouses first discover that they will be stationed overseas it can be a blow. Do you move OCONUS with your spouse to maintain your marriage?

Or do you move overseas and possibly sacrifice your career? Finding or growing your career can seem unattainable amidst the pressures of being a military spouse. Frequent moves, gaps in our resume, licenses that are no longer valid due to a recent move, and lack of child care are just a few of the things that we must juggle when it comes to our careers.

Depending on your chosen vocational path, you may find that your career is more transferable to

MAY 2021

an overseas duty station. Some careers are more transferable than others. According to the 2020 Blue Star Families, Military Family Lifestyle Survey, 67 percent of military spouses are underemployed.

Lack of job availability leads to spouses be underemployed and feeling unfulfilled.

Work Locally Become a member of the Federal Employment workforce.

•

Look for civil service or appropriated funds positions. It is important to know that the federal job application process takes time.

Most federal jobs are posted on the USA Jobs website.

•

Consider non-appropriated funds positions.

Non-appropriated fund employees support

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installation services through programs such as Morale, Welfare and Recreation and Marine Corps Community Services.

Tips to Get a Federal Job 1. Be patient - this process can take a long time.

Budget accordingly.

2. Check the application deadlines - if the posting opens on a Friday and closes on a Monday they may have a candidate in mind.

3. Get your foot in the door - you may be overqualified for your first job, but once you are in you can take advantage of being “in the know” when new opportunities arise.

4. Take advantage of priority placement, military spouse preference or the noncompetative hiring authority on USA Jobs.

5. Don’t be modest - USA jobs often weeds out candidates by asking if they are experts in an area. If you are skilled say so! Being modest may cost you an interview!

Work at your installation exchange or commissary.

These positions can have management pipelines and often come with benefits such as tuition reimbursement and shift differential.

Be a defense contractor.

Defense contractors provide a wide variety of services on overseas installations. But it is important to note that being a contractor does not come with job security the way a federal job does. If your employer’s contract is not renewed, your job will also be in jeopardy. It is a good way to get your foot in the door if you are looking to apply for a federal job.

Work off the installation.

It is possible to find employment off the installation, but be sure to understand your local Status of Forces Agreement (SOFA). In some foreign countries, the SOFA allows military spouses to work in the local economy, others like Italy have significant restrictions. Also, consider taxes and fees. Before starting work in the local economy, make sure you have a clear understanding of what local taxes and fees you may have to pay. Your local legal office or HRO can help.

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Finding connections to the local area while living OCONUS is essential for military spouses.

Start a home business.

This may be the perfect time to begin that home business that is on your vision board. Be sure to consider any licenses, permits or housing requirements you may need. Meet with the Military and Family Support Center or the legal assistance office at your installation to make sure you’re covering all your bases.

Work remotely.

One of the silver linings of the COVID 19 pandemic is that many organizations have expanded remote work opportunities. Be sure to include that in your job search. But again, doing your homework is key, as many employers may have to pay taxes to your host country.

Use volunteer work to expand your resume.

Volunteering is a great way to expand your resume or try out new careers. Organizations such as the Red Cross and Navy Marine Corps Relief Society (NMCRS) provide training and volunteer opportunities to military spouses. A new

nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

MAY 2021

opportunity includes FINRA Foundation Military Spouse Fellowship, where military spouses can become certified financial counselors. Your local installation should have a volunteer coordinator that can help you find a position that will be a good fit for you. And if nothing is available locally search for remote volunteer work with a company you’d like to work in as a paid employee. This may be a wonderful way to make a first impression.

Overcoming the challenges of job searching overseas.

Get connected.

If there is one thing military spouses are good at, it is networking. Frequent moves challenge us to put ourselves out there, which helps when searching for a new job. Connect with spouse groups that can speak to the experience of job searching while living OCONUS. According to a recent Hiring our Heroes summit in Washington, D.C., networking, volunteering, and being present were repeatedly mentioned as ways to find employment opportunities.

Tap into installation resources.

Living overseas may be the perfect time to further your education. Try visiting your local Family Support Center. Meeting with the staff can give you insights into a wealth of local resources. Services offered include, resume assistance, mock interviews, assistance searching for grants/scholarships and licensure reimbursement programs, and courses in public speaking and presenting.

globe with American businesses hiring for local, national, and remote opportunities.

•

Research Military Spouse Employment Partnership (MSEP)! Military spouse-friendly employers have signed up to be a part of this group because THEY WANT YOU!

Online Resources Military One Source is always a good go-to resource for all things. But the My Spouse Education and Career Opportunities (MySECO) is a DoD program that provides education and career guidance to military spouses and offers comprehensive resources and tools for all stages of your career progression. From there you can upgrade your LinkedIn account to a Premium memership for FREE or find out more about your leadership style by taking a Myers-Briggs assessment for free!

Research shows that military spouse employment remains a top concern for active duty families.

Working OCONUS is a larger challenge that is exacerbated by a lack of affordable child care and eligible jobs. NMSN addresses these concerns in their White Paper.

Although spouses stationed OCONUS are weathering a storm of constant challenges, there are resources there to help. Use them to navigate the red tape to find employment opportunities, where you least expect them.

Invest in spouse employment professional development.

•

Attend National Military Spouse Network’s Day of Advocacy, where you can network with other accomplished military spouses while learning how you can advocate for military spouse employment.

•

The DoD-sponsored MySECO program offers a variety of live and recorded virtual events and trainings that provide education and career guidance as well as comprehensive resources and tools for all stages of your career progression.

•

Hiring Our Heroes offers events that connect military spouse job seekers from around the

MAY 2021

Carla Wyrsch is a devoted educator and advocate for children with disABILITIES with over 18 years of experience.

Currently, she is a guest blogger and content creator for Partners in PROMISE, an education and advocacy group working on behalf of military special needs children. Additionally, she is a certified special education teacher with a background in applied behavior analysis. Her experience spans various settings, including residential treatment facilities, military bases, public schools, and the Cleveland Clinic Children’s Lerner School for Autism. She and her family are currently stationed in Japan.

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The Bottom Line: Your Post-COVID 19 Future of Work

BY JANET FARLEY, ED.M, CPRW, CFJST/CFCC

B

efore 2020 became a bad meme, the buzz in academia was centered around the future of work and the coming Fourth Industrial Revolution, a predicated cataclysmic event that would surely change the way we live, work and relate to one another.

AND THEN…in March 2020, COVID-19 became a household word around the globe. Amid unprecedented societal lockdowns, upstaging the Fourth Industrial Revolution buzz and catapulting the concept of future work squarely into the present.

24 | NMSN Magazine

Finally, the world had a firsthand look into the challenges that military spouses have experienced for decades: •

Uncertainty about the future became the norm rather than the exception

•

Job loss became a reality as unemployment rates rose to astronomical levels

•

Child care became unattainable or unaffordable

Welcome to our reality, World.

And for the record, it’s not one we would have wished on you.

nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

Military Spouses: If you find yourself in the unenviable position of being unemployed, thanks directly or indirectly to the pandemic, take comfort in knowing you are not alone and you can emerge from this setback.

It will, however, take ample effort on your part and available opportunity in the job market.

Get used to the new abnormal. It is now the new normal.

The following tips can help you adapt:

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Develop a growth mindset. You may have an advanced degree and think you’re accomplished in your given area, but that’s not enough anymore. Instead, focus on developing a growth mindset that isn’t comfortable with what is, but more enamored with what could be. Learning is finally coming into its own and getting the attention it deserves.

Bottom line? Never stop learning if you want to succeed in today’s job market.

Speaking of degrees….Don’t get hung up on them. This is of course great news if you don’t have one.

In many career fields, you can learn the skills you need to succeed on the job outside of higher education through professional certifications, which may take less time and money to obtain. You might even be able to take advantage of onthe-job training.

Degrees are still valuable, but they are more often than not overpriced and often out of sync with industry standards and needs.

Bottom line? You can be competent and successful in your career without a college degree, depending of course on your chosen career field. Clearly, you still want your doctor or lawyer to have a framed degree on their wall.

Keep up with hiring trends.

COVID-19 forced businesses to exist virtually in ways they never imagined they could before. This has created a domino effect and hiring practices have also evolved.

Job interviews via platforms like Zoom or MS Teams used to be the exception. They are now the norm in many companies. So is the use of artificial intelligence MAY 2021

(AI) to conduct job interviews, sending texts to applicants with statuses and an overall increased use of social media and digital communications.

Pro Tip: Be sure you tap into your own wonderful NMSN network whether through watercooler chats, special events or otherwise.

Bottom line? You need to be comfortable interviewing and working in a virtual space. Many employers have seen the financial light in savings earned and won’t go back to the Dark Ages. (Again, great for military spouses who knew all along remote work could work just fine.)

Keep your options open. Your goal may be full-time, permanent employment but don’t rule out temporary, gig employment or side hustles. You might end up discovering a whole new path along the way. Even strategic volunteer opportunities can open doors.

Adapt your networking practices.

Meeting face to face is around the corner, but is inconsistent from state to state. Until this form of reliable networking returns, we have to adapt. And even when face-to-face meetings do occur, virtual networking is going to be an option.

Apply consistently and target your resumes and cover letters.

Set a goal to apply for a set number of jobs a week and do so intentionally. Tailor your resumes and cover letters even though it can be a royal pain in your backside to do so. Make yourself stand out for the right reasons, not the wrong ones.

Bottom line? Embrace Zoom or your platform of choice. Update your LinkedIn. Dial a number. You can have meaningful conversations without being present in the room.

And remember networking isn’t just about what others can do for you. It’s about what you can offer as well.

Finally, don’t get discouraged.

There are a lot of unemployed and very talented people applying for the same jobs you are. COVID-19 did a real number on the world of work. Just keep at it, embrace the tips provided here and get it done.

Janet Farley, Ed.M., CPRW, CFJST, CFCC is a career coach,a professional resume writer and the author of ten career/life advice guides, most recently Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2018) and Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families (Rowman & Littlefield, 2016). A proud spouse of an Army veteran and a dedicated advocate for all those who have served in uniform and for those who have given their hearts to them, she offers straightforward career management and job search advice based on more than twenty-five years of experience working in employment services across multiple industries stateside and abroad. She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and Human Resource Education from Boston University and is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (PARWCC), Federal Job Search Coach and Career Coach. Farley is also a graduate of Skillfull’s Colorado Governor’s Coaching Corps and currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family. Reach her at www.linkedin.com/in/janetfarley. nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

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Military Spouses Excel at Work/Life Balance

BY KRISTA WELLS

F

ear can seem paralyzing when we don’t have all the data on how long this current crisis will last. However, it’s important to remember that the same skills that have made you successful as a military spouse thus far will carry you through. Ralph Waldo Emerson reminds us that spirituality is the key to keeping our eye on the prize; this serves as a good reminder as we seek calmness during chaos. Emerson also believed in reimagining the divine as something large and visible, which he referred to as nature. Emerson’s idea of transcendentalism can be a great reminder that one day, we will look back on these trying 26 | NMSN Magazine

times and reflect and despite the uncertainty we lived and worked to our full potential.

The key is to realize that we are persevering, pretty darn well too. Our military community as a whole is pulling together, our kids are picking up on our resilience, and even our country is healing. I see a lot of good in the world. We must continue to appreciate all the good and compassionately take more time for ourselves and work.

Finding balance has always been challenging. However, I’ve been so inspired by how much better military spouses are handling this pandemic than civilians. I’ve gleaned many work-life balance nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org

tips from our community and can see that the knowledge of how to create more harmony between our personal and professional worlds is already within us. Amidst stress, what we often need is a loving nudge to remind ourselves that we’ve got this! Military spouses are naturally adaptable, resilient, and persevering, and we can apply our awesomeness to our current circumstances.

We often stare in awe when we see an old black and white photo of a military spouse kissing their soldier. We tear up as we appreciate their sacrifice without analyzing the nitty-gritty. I believe that one day, we will look MAY 2021

back and tell our grandchildren we lived through trying times and others will be in awe of all that we achieved. So, if you, like me, are getting caught up on the fact that you watched too much on Netflix or gained a few pounds, give yourself a little grace as you picture seeing now through the eyes of a future admirer.

That doesn’t mean you won’t have your moments, and that is okay; do what works for you. When I felt overwhelmed in the past when coping with deployment, infertility, and grief, I’d read articles on self-care that suggested things like going to the spa. However, deep down I knew all I needed was to curl up in bed with a burrito and a Hallmark movie. You know what works best for you better than any advice you can read online.

Brainstorm ways you have destressed in the past and apply it now.

Let’s Look at the Life Side of Work-Life Balance

that jump rope), and scheduling a 20-minute meditation (put a stickie note on your door to try and keep innocent intruders at bay). A few notes can guide the day and even if you don’t follow the plan, having one, helps you plan a more realistic one tomorrow and keeps your momentum going. Play around with laying out your outfit, and planning out a routine.

Let’s Look At The Work Side of Work-Life Balance When you engage in inspiring work, balance happens more naturally. During the pandemic, a friend of mine and I decided to write a fiction book. It was a fun way to do something creative and we sort of squeezed it in because it was work we enjoyed doing.

After about two months of us writing and connecting over the phone about our writing, we both admitted to spending way less time on social media. I realized

that it’s easier to focus on giving yourself permission to lean into the work you love versus starting with a restriction. Shaming yourself to stop scrolling feels like one more “should” versus asking yourself what type of work seems fun and inspiring.

Brainstorm a few ideas, and if you are stuck, consider connecting with other online professional communities that will allow you to dabble and make the best of some extra downtime. One of my colleagues shared that although she was too busy to be on the board of the International Coaching Federation in the past, she felt that now was the perfect time to take on this new role. This added business exposure has helped her grow her business.

Most of what is written on work-life balance focuses on working less and living life more. However, I found that I was spending more time “living life,” taking care of the kids

What is going well, despite this uncertainty? We have slowed down and can engage in better meal planning for our family, we are keeping up with laundry; focusing on good attracts more good. Plan some fun time even if that is family game night or a virtual date with a friend.

“A daily routine can help make these crazy times more purposeful.”

Even though there is often less structure—a daily plan still rocks. Getting out a pen and paper and writing down what’s for dinner (bacon and eggs will work), how to exercise (dust off MAY 2021

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and running to Target than doing work. For me, it felt more balanced to spend more time growing professionally. Sure, workaholics need more rest, but being home during the pandemic made me feel more like a relaxaholic when I actually needed to connect and find ways to put more energy into my work.

I thought about what might best recharge my work battery.

Creating balance isn’t about putting more hours into work versus home life - let’s face it, we often can’t; rather, it’s about finding creative ways to put more focused energy into your “work” and not allowing the “life” side of the coin to completely deplete you.

Work-life balance experts often spew so much advice on how to improve the life side by instructing people to decrease their screen time, get better sleep, do cardio three days a week, and drink more water.

These tips are great, but I find that military spouse moms sometimes need to focus more on the work side. For example, if you are an entrepreneur, you can focus on your business. If you are passionate about a new career, you can focus on attracting a high-paying remote job. When you take these steps, the life stuff will inevitably stop taking over.

Find Your Why Maybe it’s time for you to think about that book you have always wanted to write or sign up for the online class you have been eyeing. I recently met a mother who decided to become certified to be a personal trainer. She said she opened up her laptop right beside her kids and studied. She learned how to create a website, and just converted her garage into a personal training space where she sees a few one-on-one clients in masks. She shared that she feels more work-life balance now and explained life tasks actually seem easier despite her having less time.

As a military spouse, an entrepreneur, being part of a professional network like the National Military Spouse Network has always been important. Now, as a working mother, I am finding that I miss my professional connections. This has been a huge learning experience for me.

When I first started my business, I joined networking groups to sell my coaching services. I joined Toastmasters International to improve my public speaking and naturally balanced working in my business and on my business. As my business grew, I found myself working in the business of being a busy mom. However, when the

world slowed down, I found that I had a lot more time to think about working on my business and even on my home life and that I had so much to be grateful for. Having this perspective has been a reminder that we all need to embrace self-compassion.

As you look at all that you’ve accomplished in your life and work thus far, be proud of yourself for being a military spouse who can gracefully balance so much. Most importantly, remind each other and remind yourself, this too shall pass!

Dr. Krista Wells is a certified professional coach dedicated to empowering military spouses. In her private practice, she focuses on improving her clients’ health, increasing their wealth, and strengthening their relationships.

In addition to her private clients, Krista offers keynote speeches, workshops for organizations and military bases, and writes for various military publications. She recently launched The Military Spouse Show podcast in an effort to expand her reach and connect with the broader military spouse community.

Save the Date

May 6, 2022

Join us for our annual Day of advocacy!

28 | NMSN Magazine

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MAY 2021

Preparing Yourself for Life AFTER the Military

BY JANET FARLEY, ED.M. CPRW, CFJST/CFCC

T

he military life is what you know….until you don’t.

Eventually, you and your family will transition away from the military lifestyle you have come to know and love, or at least to navigate and tolerate.

Whether you welcome that transition or not, there will be a new reality in store for you. Preparing now for then is a good strategy. Here are some tips to help you do just that.

Visualize the Alternatives.

You might not know for sure how things are going to turn out for you post-uniform life, but if you don’t at least picture the potential possibilities, it will be much harder. Everyone’s situation is unique of course, but make the effort to analyze your own.

•

Do you see yourself staying in the same location or are you open to moving?

•

Will you need to replace one paycheck or two in the family budget?

Speaking of Money….Stash the Cash.

If you thought PCSing could be expensive, wait until you transition out. By then you may or may not have access to tax-free benefits, fully covered healthcare and other oft taken-for-granted military perks.

Even if you still maintain access to some benefits via your newly retired military life, don’t get too comfortable. You’ll soon discover there exists a constant chipping away of hard-earned benefits by lawmakers who don’t always honor past promises made to troops and their families. Just saying. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself writing to your congressional representative about it one day.

Run two or three potential acceptable scenarios in your collective heads and pick one of them to be the priority of choice.

A few time-honored and reliable questions to ask yourselves are: •

What do you want to do after life in the military?

•

Where do you want to do it? Consider location and employer options.

•

How much income do you need to maintain your current quality of life?

•

How much do you want to make by the time you transition?

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your career, both of which will make your military to civilian life and career transitions infinitely easier.

Here are a few must use resources to connect with that can help you find employment, navigate the changing waters and more: •

Army Community Service (ACS)

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Airman and Family Readiness Center

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Transition Assistance Program (TAP)

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Hiring Our Heroes

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Military OneSource

Look forward to the future.

Four steps to prepare financially for the “after” life: •

Conduct a reality check on your current financial situation. Analyze your actual income and then imagine it without any extra allowances in it like BAH, BAS, or hazard pay. This will also help your spouse establish a realistic post-uniform salary range as well.

•

Live beneath your means by reducing unnecessary spending.

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Control consumer debt — credit card debt, student loans, auto loans, mortgages, and payday loans — eliminating it altogether if possible.

•

Create or reopen your transition budget, saving consistently in order to offset the unexpected expenses you will no doubt encounter along the way.

Use your resources to the fullest extent.

There are so many transition resources available to you and your spouse now that it can almost be overwhelming. Nevertheless, take a deep breath and reach out for them on the installation, off the installation and virtually. If you have a transition question, an answer is not far away.

While we’re on the topic of resources, don’t neglect your own thriving network, professional and personal. Networking, much like the cliché tells us, is key to finding your next job and advancing in 30 | NMSN Magazine

There is no doubt about it, living la vita military is an adventure in itself. However, as you transition away from it, you may find that you will miss it, or at least certain aspects of it. You may experience a three-year itch to move or mourn the loss of military comradery. It’s to be expected.

Give yourself and your spouse the time and space needed to transition from the active duty lifestyle, not only physically, but emotionally as well. And while you’re at it, tap into those amazing transferable skills of resiliency that this lifestyle has taught you to take on the adventure in this new chapter of your lives.

Janet Farley, Ed.M., CPRW, CFJST, CFCC is a career coach,a professional resume writer and the author of ten career/life advice guides, most recently Mission Transition: Managing Your Career and Your Retirement (Rowman & Littlefield, 2018) and Military Life 101: Basic Training for New Military Families (Rowman & Littlefield, 2016). A proud spouse of an Army veteran and a dedicated advocate for all those who have served in uniform and for those who have given their hearts to them, she offers straightforward career management and job search advice based on more than twenty-five years of experience working in employment services across multiple industries stateside and abroad. She holds a Master’s Degree in Human Services and Human Resource Education from Boston University and is a Certified Professional Resume Writer (PARWCC), Federal Job Search Coach and Career Coach. Farley is also a graduate of Skillfull’s Colorado Governor’s Coaching Corps and currently resides in Colorado Springs, Colorado with her family. Reach her at www. linkedin.com/in/janetfarley.

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We asked our authors

SARAH

CARLA I am really looking forward to inperson professional development and conferences. Human interaction brings another level of networking that can not be replicated via zoom.

ERIN I look forward to traveling post-Covid! I miss connecting with peers and friends as well as learning new trade secrets at a great conference.

KATE I cannot wait to browse bookstores and work on my in-progress novel in cafes once more after COVID is a distant memory.

CACHET KRISTA

JANET

I’m looking forward to hosting a live vision board workshop with military spouse writers, creatives, and entrepreneurs wanting to connect and support each other and collaborate somewhere live and in person!

Once COVID is in the history books, I’m looking forward to networking in person again! Zoom calls are great but there’s nothing like a face-to-face to make meaningful connections.

MAY 2021

As a facilitator and speaker, I’m looking forward to being able to attend in-person events again. While I was able to pivot and thrive in the virtual world in the midst of COVID, I also miss some of the nuances only captured in the face-to-face experience.

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I can’t wait to walk the halls of Congress again! Virtual advocacy meetings have certainly enabled far-away stakeholders to more directly engage with their government, which is phenomenal for democracy, but since I’m currently stationed in the D.C. area, I want to enjoy in-person visits while I still can.

WHAT PROFESSIONAL ACTIVITY ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO IN A POST-COVID WORLD? NMSN Magazine

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