Fall 2007 - Unscensored

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'lER NMC Magazine - "CENSORED!" The Northwestern Micl~igan College Magazine is a yearly or bi-yearly student publication that show-casesa collection of art and cre~tive ideas from a diver~e I comrnunity of student artists, Each issue represents a theme, some concept evident -in its design, the contents, or both .

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.The 2006-2007 issue of the NMC Magazine includes a category that highlights the theme of censorship as it affects freedom of expression in the arts and communicat-ion in general. What happens to ideas that'aren't shared, music that isn't played, or art that is never shown? udges have selected,two winners'and an honorable mention from works submitted to this print edition for the censorship category and the open categories of essay, short fiction, and poetry.' .

NMC Magazine also ~akes use of digitafvideo media to capture art in motion 'and to share the artists' perspectives through interviews, bringing those ideas into ' the NMC community.in OVD format. In addition, all works submitt~d will be' presented on this year's NMC Magazine website (www.nmc.edulnmcmagazine). , ,

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In the Winter of 2007, NMC Magazine traveled to Berlin, Germany, where the staff was immersed in international artwork at the annual Transmediale: Festival of Art and Digital Culture. Within this rich environment of contemporary creative energy, the Magazine staffers ~ere reminded of the city's history: -remnants of' tl~ Berli;n Wall and the Gedachtniskirche (bomb-damaged "Memorial Church") as s:Yml:>olic reminders of two faJed regimes d.ependent on oppressive control and路

let others enjoy the privilege to'do so, too. ....,_.

Voltaire

2

Restriction

0/ free

thought and free speech is the most dangerous

0/ all subversions.

It is

t17.eone tm-American act tl?at could most easily de/eat us.

Justice William Douglas

A.

moments WINN

0/ silence,

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Lots of things going on can block my creativity.

4

I'll try to write and nothing will corne.

activities sometimes irz.terfere_.

I get my ideas, my inspirations from observations.

I like to start with small things-bits

of conversation, heard or

"LU""""U.

Characters

or stories will happen then. Solitude also helps, an introvert thing.

I'm still hesitant to show my work. Every time. I like t~ keep it to myself, because it~ very personal.

Even if it~ fiction, it still says

something about you. I feel less hesitant now, doing workshops in Holly Spaulding ~ poetry course. And I show' my friends, those 'who 'already have seen my work.

The dream job I'd love would be to translate Japanese literature-to language.

take someone else ~ words, then work within the limits of our own

I'm just starting to learn Japanese.

My aphrodisiac is someone who loves metafr.

LVENlfIT'S

Amber Edmondson

paper at my gacl~. that he

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would feel

AR11

01

T

A JANUARY

evening after a five-~ile hike through fourteen inches of

The fire in the small woodstove moves orange light over the grain

S~dW.

of the pine-board

walls, and my six-month-old puppy is chewing on extraneous woodchips with his thick bulldozer legs stretched out before him: We are becoming more and more comfortable with each other since I bought him.last month. He i~beginning t~ realize that I crave being ~n a lonely wooded trail just as much as he does. He rests his head on my kne.e now' while we sit on the floor in this small bayside home I'm renting that resembles an old sailor's cabin. In the face of the fire my skIn turns the color of parchment, eerie and golde'n, and I think of my mother's hands. Her skin was always'darker than mine, and I remember noticing this as a young 'girl while Iwatched her write a poem for her dead . sister on a piece of thin parchment with a fountain pen. She told me once that her hair began to turn from black to silver when she was only in eighth-grade. I've looked for silver streaks hiding in my own hair ever since and have found none. Her name means blackbird in French. I can't help but w~nder why my grandmother chose th~s for her and gave her other daught~rs names like Phyllis, Karen, and Marlene. I am convin~~d she saw something different in my mother, perhaps something dark but also something k~o'wing and wise, even on the very day she gave birth to her.

In a small town in the northern-lower reaches of Canada at one ~nthe morning during the single worst blizzard of the year, my grandfath~r carried his pregnant wife in his arms across a sprawling snow-covered field in order to 'reach the hospital. She then took the '.

.f.

difficult task upon herself of enduring a nearly unbearable labor for five consecutive days before she held u:y mother against her chest. My grandmother's skin is a rich golden brown, just a shade darker that the skin of her daughter's and a few shades darker than my own. Nowadays it.looks textured like aged .parchment-fragile My grandmother holds secrets that everyone knows-

and even sacred, like a relic. secrets of her childhood in

northern Canada, secrets of ancestry, secrets of guilt and loss. But we know most of them and now they are our secrets as well, all to be kept from her. She grew up in a singleroom log cabin with eight brothers and sisters and her two parents. When she was only nine years o~dshe took two of her younger brothers into the woods to go berry picking.

They were lost for five days. The youngest brother, Victor, was only five and was never found. The oth~r brother David suffered from dehydration and countless bladk fly bites and consequently was .mentajly handicapped for the rest of his life. Only my grandmother came back seemingly unharmed. She has told this story to only two people, my , grandfather and his mother, whom sh",was very close to. With my grandfather she said, "I will only ever tell this to you once, so listen, and never ask me of it again." He never has. Convinced that a band of gypsies.kidnapped Victor (-somethingthat was not all that uncommon fo~ the time), she fiercely denies her own Indian blood and is ashamed of it.

She left home and taugh~ herself English when she ~as just thirteen: The oldest child of eight, today she is the last one of that family left living.

I watch the flames of the fire move against the wood, undulating, h~pnotic, and

hungry. My puppy ha, left my side and I move in closer to fetl the warmth, to brighten

..

that certain orange gloY'an my skin, to. let the heat push back the multitude af questians that wavetheir arms fra~hfally'befare me. To embrace the wonder of the women who. have come before me, I offe' this paem-

My Gra!J.d!TJ.other Asks Me'N6tta t.ike My Brother Berry Picking, in the Woods

/

Victar never died. Hi~ _~J,nesare still sitting where:;you saw them last, beside tnt". :-iver, l'n the deep waads af northern Canada.

What pain it must have'been to. hear your nar<'e pierce through the fly-bitten fog of your delirim'l, and nat possess th,~stqmgfu to. lift your weight fram the ground. A five-yea.r-old's panic sounded out in each syllable, "~umina!, Lumina!"

The only available work in town, the'paper mill, closed for ~are than a week so.hundreds could sift through the forest in the hopes af finding you and your two brothers. Your parents emptied, but still praying, while you lay among the trees beside David who gave up his mind, piece by piece, to. t~e unellding cluud of black-flies. ' .

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My mather cried when she first saw the seventy-year-ald newspaper clipping.

"This just explains so much," she said aloud, b~t nat to.me. I stare at the clipping now.

Yaur nine-year-old arm wrapped around your brothe~'s shoulders, your lips drawn into some kind of confused child's smile, and your right arm, which should be placed araund the shoulaers of your youngest brother~ hangs empty, almost guiltily, at your side.

11.

are we ready for michael?

m e n t io n

Brian Johnston )w

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\{he general uproar army J':;s"t [stump: my creativity}. thewj-oblem.

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Once I'm s路tarte4/.lIOugh,

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Children at home, four dogs. Getting started in all these distractions is

the house could fall down around me and I'd stay focused on what I'm writing.

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'.~ I read [to get past my blocks}. It sari daydreaming.

my mind mto the mode of thinking about writing. I brainstorm. I think of it as

I ask, "What if?" In th.e case of my essay f,pr the magazine, I asked myself, Uwhat if I Were a clone?"

I draw upon personal experience.

V~after

grandfathers

0/ sets

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Emotion.

I wrote a poem for my wIfe to share an emotion.

I wrote a poem about my

his death. I'm a big sci/fi fan, and that can get my imagination going. I try to put myself in the situation

that is related to my topic. Also, my grandfather taught me a lesson about listening: He said, uR~ce me to the barn for five dollars." So I did, ran there way ahead of him. Ran back. He was walking slowly. I said, "I won .. You owe me five dollars,

He looked at me and smJled. Then he said, UNo, you owe me路five dollars. I didn 't say an.!iliiir:iiWip01.tr

Grandpa."

that I'd race you for five dollars.

P'2-ETRIDIDN'T

SF... ,'::M LII<:.: ~

We raced.

Pay me." I learned to think about all the ways you can

\EntllK

MI--;RIE}路.)$'"

. When I Ulasyounger, I was hesitant

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or a situation.

1'11 '\ WRE:ST1...EK

to show others my writing. I wrote flowery poetry in high schoo!, but

champion ~restler. Poetry didn't seem like something my friends would think fit a wrestler. I also wond,~re,:iW my poetry. Then I met a musician at work. He was stuck with the lyrics for a song. I got him past thai

VOl'1'lII.,Wll:n

then I finished the whole song with him. After that, we'd swap phrases at wor4, get songs going usaetner.

I'd like to be a lyricist, a song writer. Others could sing them; I'd write them. "

A qu~on' /'

Music.

-

've forgotten to ask some, but you get a chance:' what's your favorite .

h'tt

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rig t song can sw.ing my mood from he;e to there quite quickly.

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what I believe to be questionable businesses, they continue to resea;ch and claim to have cloned humans. As technology in the field improves, the actuality ot clones existing in our society gets closer.

Will we give clones all the rights accorded naturally conceived humans? Or will we treat them as sub-h{J_man?

Humans h~ve considered other gr~ups of people as less than human in our his~~ry: Native Americans, Blacks, Jews.

Society's view that a group is different has led to great acts of atrocity-genocide being the vilest. Will that be the fate of clones? The C~uncil for Responsible GeJ1'eticshas explored these questions and i~ response has drafted a Genetic Bill of rights (Goshg~rian 317). Pounded in 1983, CRG is a non-profit, non-gove-rnmental organization based in Cambridge, - Massachl!setts. The purPose of this O'I:ganizationis to inform and foster debate on the issues surrounding biotechnology. "'--"""lstorically, people formulate Bills of Rights to restrain violations of fundamenbl values. The manipulation of genes is creating unprecedented risks. We can scarcely begin to imagine the changes that can be wrought by biotechnology.

Already biotechnology is altering how people relate to one another. We are not prepared for the ethical dilemmas posed by cloning, germline manipulation, and organ farming, just a few of the goals of genetic engineers (Nader).

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Nearly all religious communities stand united in their opposition against cloning. The implications for them are enormous; every major religion attributes the creation of lif~ to God, and hum~n cloning flies in the face of the . foundations of their beliefs. Cloning and the people resulting from-it would undermine religion as we know it. The 9once~t of the soul comes into que~tion w4en looking at religion and cloning. How can clones have souls? They are the creation of man, not God; therefore they-cannot have souls. If they do not have souls, then they cannot be human. This reasoning has frightening connotations for society.

Man's intellect and technology have alwaysout-reached his ability to understand the moral and ethic implications of these tools. In the case o~human cloning, we face an issue that belittles the invention of nuclear weapons. This technology affects the very core of humanity and its future. To proceed as a society without preparing ourselves for the appearan_ceof human clones is to allow "()u~selvesto ignore disaster. .

Works Cited ..F Clonaid. Online posting. Clonaid.com. 11 Dec. 2006 http://www.clonaid.com/page.php?8.

Hubbard, Ruth, and Stuart Newman. "YuppieEugenics." Gary Goshgarian. The , , Contemporary Reader. New York: Pe~rson, 2005. 299 -304. , Nader, Claire and Martha Herbert. "CRG Launches Genetic Bill of Rights" O~lin~~Gene Watch.com. 11 Dec. 2006. http://Www.gene-watch.org/programs/bill-of-rights/bill-oJ-rights-announce.html.

Ra~lian Movement. "Message from the Designers" Online posting. rael.org. , 11¡Dec.,2006. http://rael.orglraeLcontent/rael_bio.php?prophet .

â&#x20AC;˘1

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Do we have the right to say what we want to when we want to?

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WINNE'R

D. B.t

'11()' I'路 charongrim #3

Curtis Hunt Yeah, I do get blocked. Don't know what causes it, but wish I did., I've never been able to figure out a. pattern. It seems to happe~ randomly. At times, I'm just too busy. At other times, I'm very busy and I get creativ~things done despite or because of thebusy-ness-:

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I make myself start on something when I'm blocked. I start and see what's happening with that-start.

Or , 111pick a theme and waitfor ideas related to it to come ~p. I commit myself to doing something.

My inspiration comes from all over the place. Sometimes it's music. Sometimes dreams I've had. I'll have just one character in mind, then-poo/! Fro"';just thai one character a wholefictional world might come. Also, while listening to music, 111hear a s'~ngleline, ant{ imagination takes of/. . oh, yes, I've bee~ reluctant at times to show others my work. I worry j'm working with willbe judged as me, who lam. People might think for a, character is how I think, how I alw(],ysthink. I sometimes change .questionable responses. Or I go with it and hope for the best.

the language in it or a theme what I've invented on the page in a piece to avoid such .

I always wished I could o~n my own ultimate video game .siore, comomauon

...

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C] lARONGRIM WAS PUNCTUAL tIc

l11~ht. wand"rin~

surveyed the scene. J\ ~irl, tel'nagl:,

around

a parking

pruhably

ail always, d(;spitc

thtl

busy

sixll.:l:n or seventeen

was

lot.

"1lcllo, miss." ·Slay il\\ny. J'1O't hurt me." "l'm not hl'rl' to IlUrt you. I'm here to help. Anyway, you're already dl.'aJ: l le pointed at the girl's 110(Iy, Iyin~ fa.::,·Jown ill a plIJdl1.' llf blollJ. I Icr dothc~ had b"en penetrated by a blade a couple times.

Ly Ih~ Bize of lhell' it haJ been (rom the {rllnl, .lr<light thrllu,;:h. ·011 Illy god. l'lll only sixteen, Tcan't bl:' dead. [ can't be dead: She W,H in panicky denial.

·ok 1,111 ),"\1 "1'm

1.liJn'l

Ml' ...

....,ldl your

name.·

S'lrtlh, Samh Gibbons: She gllOOk. CIt,lr(lllgrllll. 1'111Iwn. L,. (ake you 10 your ~11i\1rl'~lillg

"J\ly, my

.

1l111111'?

plilcc,

thic whole thing along: "N!). 1'11\11Ill yuulIg hl die. I'll! il bad..!, 1. can't be Jl:'aJ,· ::lhl' pleaded

ij()

if

you

could

just come with me

WI!

,aI111l11Vl'

• Bill

.

1'1 rc. You Me clt·oJ.mnl~" nil' un- deaJl"

Y')II

"Then

"' can't. II's nol.within in ll,is

wm-Itl:

"Then

~et someone

·YO\ll· hody

j~

dcad.

my power. And if il were, beli~'\'e me,

wltn can. Put me Even

if

tllCrt' wCllIlJ b" it ",llOk, lot fewer dead people

bad". I'm not re"Jy!

you could Ito back whal 'Would you do? rl1at body can't liunnvc:

"So w11'111 AIII'"" JOIll' Illy enLiw life i::.go ttl school. I never dId anything. IIll!vcr had a hoyfriend, never had a job, never got rich, never had sex! 01, IitIlJ, , never lInd sex. Put IIlC bac~ now! Find SOPleone who can!"

"Th,:n' i~II'l (llly,mt': ·You lie: ·Oh, believe mc.>,r wi..h there were. I, pe",,)nally,

willI, no one ever died. It wClulJ,.ltre make my job a lot

like lo be on dealh'b.ilchcdulc? Thib i" onc of lhlJ worst jobs there is. around,- hi~ pllg<!r wenl 0[[ ,JIld be 11I\~lily Lurned il~rf. "As 1 was saying, dr'l~~cd c.lrmll1d bv ulllhe idiols down hrr .. who Cill 'L slup killing eai.:h other, doinS all sod" of junk that kIll! t1U'lII ilUJ the o..:ca~ional natural deatl1, bles.. L1ll'ir .ollle, I h(1ve to Jual willI brats like you!" cilt-lI.'r. Du you

And

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lop

CVCl1

know what it's

or hei ng J"aggcJ

·01" tllj~ il! rich; ym,'rt:: quitt:! a pit:ce of work. Whilt, W('n' YOlll'O b'ld al ~verylJ,lns else they stuck you with Ibi ..? Y"li I)ottainly clml'! seem like m.y fitsL choict!. Y""',,,.' cruel, Y()ll have" J,ol'l'iblc tcrlll'cr, or ill everyone lil~" Llli~ wJwrc you CUIUC r rom?n

·01" lln, 1 "hcwt'c this. It W<'IS right:

ofter the !"st eml.' wont crazy ahet tile NOI'II,incidcnt. Seemed Ijke il lll:atlH'ever again, just a fewpellpll' "11th,, 111,11lel /\011 )tU\llIV h1.1vil1li!lo deal will! dead lwenty· four h(H',," II day seven Jny~ II w<'ek f()l nil dcmit),!·

grc<)l j01, rouple ·llwvl'r

I\V lIIil~1!

had

Acxl"

17

'l;. â&#x20AC;˘â&#x20AC;˘

"Neither have 1. Joiv. the cl~b. 1bet there's a whole btlll.ch of people who've di all tbe kids wbo die every year, tbey don't complain qpout it. Suck it up and m "Make me!' , "1wisb 1 could! But 1 only get to d~;:hat to people t~at go to bell.'

"Tben I'm not going."

'. ~

-

. "1 don't come back; tbis is your, only ch&rtce.'If you stay, you stay for eternity."

"Wbat about tbe penon wbo killed me?'

"Tbat's for tbe living to figure out."

"It's unfair. Tbey get away witb killing me? How is tbat fair at all?'

"Wbo ever said life was fair? It's death where it all evens out."

"Wbat about my family, my friends? Wbat about me? Do other people regret things from life?"

"Always." .

"Not everyone gets over everything, but I'm sure, in time, it won't matter. Now yoU:~ave to make a choice, stay

~~~~~~'

here and watcb the life of others go by, or come with me and move on."

Sarah stared at her body, tben at her surroundings. wanted to do so mucb; I

' as looking forward to life.

I'm not ready to be dead yet."

"People rarely are. The old and tbe depressed maybe."

Sarah laughed a bit. "What do Ihave to look forward to now?"

"I don't know. But it's probably better than staying here. Otberwise I would only

ed to come for the wicked.

-r

18

So, coming?"

She sighed and paced around the cars.

"There's nothing here for you now. You can't do anything by staying: "I just, I just wisb I could go back. I wish I could live a little longer." She sniffle "I kl}ow.You've made that quite clear. But, Sarah, you can't. You know that: "I know. I know. But maybe ... n "No, there is nothing. I am sorry: Sar,ah wiped tears from her cheeks "All right, let's go."

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Books jail. /"

t siau bl1mwd. Tiley icon't bum. rdcfls 1('011 't go lo file long run <>/ IlisfMY, tile censor and tlte ;nquisi/c)Y llal'e

U'OIl

a/ways /0::/.

-Alfrctt

tt: ~ltIly U'~"lp~'" '79'liIlSi

bad ide'1s is bcHcr it/cds.

W'llilncy OrilOwold, NeÂŤ York Times, 24 F~bruQry

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'11 ()' 1\

summer at nickerson's stable

Kate Newton NI' L' 011, GOLI, rUG been Juu;itol1t to ~/1')I(' Illy work to otlul'S. (I took cJ I'lt It,r III.! to ,'"rl)// it) I/'I! : • cre~livt' Ilm'filly class. Hill lilY 4f.Cct)/lf1US writing group /IC/PI!J t1 lot. ML/ .(,·icnJslike to 5,'1) u'ork; 'l"J my parents al'e prdlL, illh'l'!:sieJ 111it, too. I ClUJ ISlw", 1I"),,,i "/;1 ILl "NIn .

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1101'1.1,,11111;eDi/lard's

sill/! r; "I'tJll I~ <III sorts 0/ music.

/.l/k IIIIIS;C, aU{/lcnJic kil)d my Ja.lllaJ colll!cfcd. cl'eryonl! u·a.; sell-taughf.

...

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My

f don't kllou' u·llat m]l dr..am Jol, would b,·. Mtlkirt:/ cabi" in the woods .

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question

we've fnrB''lUt'u III

aphrudi~ii.\c?

Aplm.1Jis;ac-/lInm wine, loa.

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ill'k

CUIII"

/rolll

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music, 'I'rifllliJ.

sonu-, lnt! ):l'U Sl'l a ~h'llIl1':

lIIusical

played

grlJ"/"9r.m,/"",tI,cl

('J I,k

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J)I'~!(;1/9 pian» .,f,,>!,,:! cl'cryt/);n<1 i:'ls~,~ II (l~'

to

I,

Jamily. OJ.

lid,lIe

'11111

)' ur (,WI

,t II

) (.

guila

11

II

·. \,711 ISTLI:3D LOUDLY

\\70LF

every time he walked into lIw barn. Brushing JUWIl one o( M{' my ~llll~hin..,· ~rOw1llg louder a his steps I1l'ilrt'll, ~radu(\l1) (lvcrlakinj;f the quiet of the nH1rnin~.

the hor-c< in silcne(', I rei.lI~nll.cJ the ~l,ght1y off-key notes (If ·You Gnd louJu

·"1 min' Katie-DiJ! ):, l1lis8l,d brclIl.:(ast," olnd as a seconJ thlllli!I'I, with a ·Mi...ed coffee 100 ••• rU:l~ is looLin' for ya. WllO's thi!l you're playin with?"

I11llTe serious

lone

he ilddcJ,

·Fun· or :::t('rling ~ickers(ln, ()1\'neJ the "tables where Wolfand I hoth workl'd. 'I~,tI,i!' d.,y, I h.we no Idl"1l~hy everyone cells him Fllzz. The ,mly two workers at til(' (arm, Wolf cleaned 6l:ll11> and fixcd tlte large machinery

\\ I,ill' 1 ~ro(lll1cd ilnd trained the hor:>es.

Wolf \\'alkcJ over

I.,r~c l,rowlI and \\ bite bor!!c be:;idl' me, J R was a aixl ecn h,'nd-hi~h, twentytlw 111.,.1 El1II,clucdof tllL' lbirty.-thn·(; bor~e~ III ti,C stable. Wolf n·f~rrcJ to all of

III lh.·

year-l,IJ polin!, ,lilt! WII8

th,

·hi. hahies·

(llld

but it II'dS .1 whl)l" oj 1...,1

~lrlry

w.,\lltlm,rl11.,lIy brag abo,ll Iti cl6 ..c cormecl ion will, them over break(il~l, wlwlI he was actllill1y il1'Olind them. DctJpill' hi!lllltcmr,l to IIppear a kn"wled ;L'abll' .,nJ I.'XIW,·icllccJ IlOr8cmall, and even Lhou!1b he t.ried his l,arJc!:!! In fcilln lmlvl'ry, it was • hl'lr~,'s as

quile

.,bvious t1u'llhey

~Cilrl~J

L1ll' hell nut of him.

Slepping

Iwlwcell W"l f

lInd

attention

b,·fon· (

It.'"d lrl1ll1ins

IMl

d,~

I"(lIJ, "This g1.IY here i. J R. I tllllu~hl 1 w.,uld give hjlll some will, II,,, fillies."

21

11l>f8C,

Wolf squinl.4.!d and wiJe'll'd hi< darb t:'ye3 while hi~ thick black mu.lach_· TCll'le dnd fl·lIlltl he tightl'ncd lip" IIr d(,llcill"J hit; ja\\' lislening 10 me tlpcllk. Ill' ll,oked thof()ughly un,ddeJ ilnd g).lrcd ill JR.

his

·ohl111hh YC.,h. .. Tlw TROOBLJ: MAKER!" hI! yelled llut t>uddenly. JR jumped a little dnd lo~~ed his I","d, ·ya f'l'C wl"'11 me.,nl You be (llreful round this one, Kalic, Ilc'lIlry II' gdchil, lhinkli hc's rca.1 tou~lt: Wtllf

dd(lpt~

which pl{,ddin!il "Ion~ pastllr ..,

lhi~

atliludl'

MIt' in

iI

lie would often lead nne of lh.., J,Clm~ over to the beYtmd the main stall doors of the 111m. Thc h(lr~" WClllld be tfuiclly lU1'llI!d !lideways and ils head bobbil1~ up and down g('ntly. Th~· aml11l1l

will, all of lite )lOr$(.'s.

valley

will, il. carl

just

appeal'~·J complolely rcluxed lind

ill1d <18 lIe wlIlI~e,lllt'~iJo t be

llll

III

{'ill'e witb its world, but WaH cllulJ lIul n!"d horses to save his bear 11i01.

"II BY! N"", Y(lU jllst oilim down!

Whoa. Easy boy. -rake it easy. Whu(l I Iey

llmv, Jlll1'L you

fig!'1

6{1ans$(;~y. 1 SAm WI lOA DAMMIT!" This wenl on unlil

life

imn I you cuu Id

he rcadll.'d the gale lo lhe pn"ture and relea~I:J dle IH>r8t!, Wlli~6

WyS

always

1111.".Gary.

......-.--...,.'""_

w.

intere.ting to wEltch. 1 think the horses ,;jmply carne lo soc hilll .;IS.I "ligllLly 'lnllli!in~ ri~ure and never p~iJ much attention to hi~ yelling and constant c11aLLer.

t.

..

\

Wulf and 1 wl)uld u~ui1l1y "llO\\" up at the ~tablc8 "rounJ six-thirty every morning. Somehow he a!waYIl managed to get there before me, ilnd I woulJJ!ee Ilis blad~ 195..f Chevy pickup truck parked al a lliJcw"yB angle on the lawn in ["1111 of Sterlin{ hl,lu.... whcn I pullt.J in. Sl"rlin~, Wol[ and 1would lI,;u.,lIy cat brea1f.bt togd."hl"r each mMnin>! in the hou"e, which i~ just IIplhe road from tlie main barn.

Wo)( w~'uld of tun talk I.,udlv about how ~ooJ till' ~<lff('e tallt~·d ilnd then exclaim that he needed to Jo his readin~ for Ihe day. Th(:fir:ll mornin~ 1 "liuted any jn!' at the elaglest:\'\lulf t~ld me that he makes II point (If rc"ding the newspaper every day durin~ breakf<l t, I found <lui 811.)rtly afler thallhi:l 1J\1:i.lIlS he reads llll' d.18sifiedl' [rom '(r"mt to back cad, Illornin~.

OIW .,fll-rIllHln Will{ wJli~t1cd his way into till'

barn, walked right P"~~CJ me into an open st."lll tbat

11"'~'llllll"ll','lling. III1Jil~pcil hia pant., and he£(illl pt·e ing ill >l corner, Bl'ill~ ilccuslonwd to this sort uf Iwh.lVior from him,'1.J,lLwcd into anothe, sli,ll will, <l prl'~I1i1111rnare whi11' h" !ipol~e tQ me.

"Wllll ... rll2:7.lIilY~ WI: llt'tlJ to Ilead Over to llle b<lrll I;WI>, If1c rpnll dllJ,:d tbtll pile l,f wt10d an' ~tTnw. We can tlll~e my lmck:

Ihul1l olJ

Icad

ropes IIncl

bUIll

,22

"All ri~lrl. Lcl'l' go now .~hen,· I .<lid

ant1 mcrJe my W<l}' Ollt of the stilll only ttl Keo Wolf )eanjn~ Ilg.,insL pile of hay inhaling a ...igarclle, in rcspon~(' tll my bcst Ji,uppruvlng mOlher !ol,k he shru~gcd his IIhll\lld('rJ:; allJ :laid, ·Well, T haven't burned the pbct' down yet! Geez. 'Sides I Wel'; !!tilrtin' to gel lwitchy: \\7e l1Iade (lur WilY tu hitoLruck and I noliced till' tite marL:~ Icfl aCrl-1~i the newly cut ~ril~8 from hiE' morning arrival. Stepping up i.nto his tmck, I irnmcJi41c:ly Iwliccd tl dl'c~)rativc: l11eme of bkull head" '!'hough llliU'y people mi~hl Lhink of lbi& a:, odd fl)r el f,)rly-thrce-y""r-old miln, fo]" \'(T.,1f it seemed to .:l

fit.

i;

Il,i~ machine here for?· Iallked a;; I'lOli~'cd 111l'611),111 )'ell"wisl, box atl"c~\!d hI ll~ dasbbt1'lTd pl.'btic lube extending from the front \'('"If look.·d at me, rolll.'J his I.'yes, ilnd :<i,;!h~.J.Likl.' cl child cxpL,ininll il H'emingly unfair punishment from tI PellClll Lo" fril.llld 11t'-'ilid. ·Ol~YC:clh. [J"ll'l kill"" Th •.y make 1111: do it since 1 ~ot caught Jrinkin' It)1) Jrll1l·b:

"What

with

i\

._ ~

IMIIIJllc8!< J il'Jl6hll!

·WO!l't

----_ ...---

dn\'in

bLATL

Drh

inS

clearly

to

I .\SLed

the b.nn

BOllHlthill~

·'cp, Did every

dn it... it'll run ~ff'~gain"

11110 myself.

Will! ,I

·W.,II, L1l1ll. Illy e -glrlfri"l1tl (JIll' fm Illy I~idl!inslo'ld: ·\X'olf,

r didn'L Iwnw

We

end

five minutes

I ~ollhl' OK .tnd llwn

after

had

the variou .. tiltluollilc

I lurt

like hell.

Ya likc 'cm?· lronic"lIy,

f.,irly provocative

Yl.'p, l),ln'l

haw

picture

up

if J don't

,lnd dt)\\'11 hi~ arms. Thi~

was

h,lV~ kiLltl. Why don't you

III:"

tntl"I' was of a

w'llf

of a woman.

muol'lllc

cmin'

ever Lalk

ttl

it auyrnorc

al~()ullllelll?·l

lbuugh.

'lyked,

SI1l1uldadone ~JighLly

kId ~UdLlcl1ly become.

23

or IIny l,cllilnlit1u, I,c rc!>pondlld, ·~'cll

Caugllt 'er dlealin' (lit me. They didn'i; Lan't sec my boy. tilllhcy'rc twenty-one:

Iwyfriend prison.

YOIl

nl how IilltlllC

\\'1itllOlIl nincililljt

"'olf .lboul

bout

lIe liLl''' to taiL ab"ut.

except for om', \\ Ilid,

surprised

for

die or

I can't ~iI1CL'l!lltol their mllilwr ,lIld 'or

nOlhing. JII"t had I" take twelve year~ in'

rod~ lltt.' rl'~l (If the way to tI,l' barn in silence, litnril1~ out till' winJhwll, \\nlclling the whe(ll slr,l\l field" iliOn' pyl, not gll~s~i;lg ell what th~ other might bl' thinking,

'wain,

Notabook, 1. 935

m en t

io

n

first, he made us smell them.,

'II n It

13.

Debra Townsend

My ,'r",allVily/ullows cycles. I p";I1I~

'lave

1\"1" II I'm "I a 1';gJ, point,

allow me tI,

o:moLi<m'llly, <mJ low poin!«. ,..., y "'r;t;n~7 usually follou;s my 1"1(1 T om loa 0(1111)/,/ lip 10 b.· ,Iold,,!! into lI1y"alil, "'11 past (JIIII)/;Ofll;. L'?II) points points,

!;"w Ib !7') iI,er,

T swirel, ears. I/I'm ~10.11:-.~',..... ('(!$;;(,

1,;qA

f,/,),·bJ. J stay awa!, franl ~fm,.n·~ct,.('17

PIilI'f

~P"JlIj;'''t~jJiii-iii~),ir;s,

d"p"IlJiIlD

011 till:

:t.Hc

mQ~m(J!istjc

~,'('p and f!IJullng lisi 0/ topic«. r/ulIl [male/l a "'(11'1119 1.'II'ard", iJll ('mafioll"/ ndrl"<'llicc or a rescore/, proieal,

,11/5, et«. MILm~~~nJ

topic. ;

I dr.11II vr n .mylll/l'J!1 from nature. Aft!}ccd to writc (,OI1lCIS from my past, ii,>! II>!C) to d.wl will, ii, to axploTl! i/ Imd sci if d.III·" I 1'<7dd ImiqUll hi/JI,a Mrly Y"drs ar.1 lik. 11 wall I draw from. Nou: I can be>more ~1I"'f;.m'l/~u det'lc/,cd, looking ba k as tl1l1llj) lrom afar, Also, my OW'l ,I,ild.stimu/ates my creativity, /,is unique

1my

"<111

~ ""9-~\( ~

"f 1""kiIl9 at Ii/e.

\0 ~

ss:

... ,I'twa b.,.·" '"~~itl1nt to oil rs. my work at lime», L s, witl, my pl,otograpl,y, because writing is mOTiZ tIIlI, mo,,"' efllt1[iollaf1y W/'~) 1am. J (1', mar.' likely to k« ""!Ii/ani to SIIOWmy work to peop/a W/'O are port of my Ii/", since ,111",y cr;li('i2': it {'II loki! it to<) perSOIl<lllll. In tI'IJSC sitllatiolls mYlI'ork is mil. Wid} more objerlive <)

olldiall,·rlS, people w/UJ don ~ r/!ally know mc, my UJork;5 separal" fr.'111me. 1;11 mora comfortable SllOWiYlfJtJII3m wl,at I j,j> dOlzt·. III tile past, 1hesitaieJ 101$/'011} pcopk· Illy wrilinS) fIJr twellly wrote !IUIS, fi,l1(]wing I7tH::11criticism ,'11sel,ool, tlloufJI1 I did CtmtillllC 10 '/JI';I,', " pri')(ltc .

Wl.ol'

J\

II'lIrlll

yuur favorite Gllmmcr

brCi!2<!.

pllTCldisiac?

Il

II:

·

\

~'ouIJ ~~l' my lilll~·l,rui111·r .lrus~lill~ and , ~,.cretly hnpl.t! hI.! mi~[,l D.Jk fill I

to k~.~p up; I knew bi, l.·~," II1U~~ 11<'<itR ti.ccJ S lIlim', 11~""Ilwd .1 r~"t.t) 1 \\ould n,ttkw 1., IIJll1illj, ..ll ~ ~lilllil!l" 100.

we'J walked

{,wever,

Undc Duane stldd"nly ~l"l'peJ, ~a7.in~ f'1,~to llll' tall trees arollnd him. N, rVOII& fhr a ruomcnt, it occurred to me we mi~bt perhaps b,· lost, victims (If our 0\\'11 plan ttl do things diff'''l"cntly than thl' rest I ~ly voice quavered just a littl.· as I <l::lkeJ \\ 11011 was Wr"l1g,

That lwinkle c.une buck illtn lll~ eyes again. and hi~ hallJ ~hlll out L,,' poiu] ell ·'I'h"re they Itre:

My

brotlwr

.,lld Illl.~.tll l., Wltlk.

as we apPwiu:l11'cllll(J 1'1111 Irvc In

26

over "IW

Itill,

Ih""l1 <Wt'J'

wllieh "nclt.! Duant.;

Ahwptly, WI' 111'tll'llhi~firmly ~pl,kl'll "Slop: 1'1rollnclilfCllllH1you: Ill' ~"id.

til\' nr-xl,

",.il,

IIW,;I1,

their

Unci ..

Dunn ... Ills~cd

Ilail'l1~ill

our Irnake;

110 nllll11

liS,

while he ~lIed bit

, c()uld rill' I our newly ':"lIlledl·J

"Ilvi.,bll' ..."lch

II',IS

UlIcll' DUtl111.l, with ,1fill..l

alllu:ir (,'onlriblll[lllli mOTels tl)lli~h'LI' , cl'In still smell L1wl1t.

quickh.

\\'1'

luokl'd Ilad~ I Ilil1l'[ul

.1E'

dte)'

it:'

we .'pproilllwd up rllnl

luukeJ

r

it

and stn:mg"I'

lIl1 lhe

•. 1111'1'<I» l")\'I~reJ lh~ ground like a ,'111,', J\J I plu,li ..d t11.. 111fWI11 tlto!

11 Ote, \'<'c !flli~kly IO.lded the sack!!

bcm:dtll

tlte IIstolll1ll.·" f., Js of 0111' LlInily !Ill' 11111.111 h,,~tllcy illl ~aLhl·n·J [L11'

till' ll1a~~of

,'ur

waiting by the cars.

LItis evcnin~'s Jinn~r.

q' 11I1J pill'l'nll 1m pf 'I\lll'l,l~, Ill' gl'imwd appreciatively ~el1t1int.> v()i":e, "lTcy, y,IP r(lund SOllie "i"·l' PIll' • It'~~,)il1tO!t<l be .,11-ytHl-t.an-.:al

1,·t'~I'1IIII ~hilre, walh·J up tv hi..sihlittg

rl'I1I£lrI~ifl)O! in

"Tllcrc .. : he said.

Jil(!..:['U,;. " Luolt

Illy Ill'l)tllt~r DIl,II were II' Iy IHlriel1 Bluff,,(l grooery hn'ld fit', III ~,hl.

LIIlJu,;:ll

m.ldc the now

"goo dlUck!in5!

n:,\dily .1PPoHcnt

r.II'tlWcl),.

0\\'11.

The walk bd..:!k se ..med l,' gll by mudl more heilmn·:I. Tite I,dn·n.,linc f\lIr~I' of triumph

Our

f"'I",

lI;m,1I (if flll\~i hel'\1T1w l'Ilrnn~er

Ih'l!till~ like 0111' irun~illing$, th ..'Y eurroun,le.llIs.·' ["r ev .. n our .m,11l f.. dtu 1,lb"l1 stcp witlu.ul l'rll~llill tlrllllHI hllng in the air, Bendill,;! tendrils of dlrir mye,·IIlIn! J{ cp will,

I"<lving

~\\'l·d

spot

pointeJ.

Tit.,ugit till' Illllsllw"tn91.)uk,·" ipongy

'1'11,' heM!>

U

••

• •

WINNER

II: II:

•

serenity prayer

II:

Andrew Riutta

• • •• •

1;", """ly r~oplc thi"k dwi JU1.-/ry L~being cI",,,, Idd, II urds. / j,'lId I','CIIIS ill pocti,~IlIomCllt~. tt, task ;11 to J;6C':0I 511el, ",,'II/,,"ls in/;je, ill '<7'll/~(... TIllS is un exercise, sOlildlu-utl I.'"'' ic".I,c$ (lIIC5C/f Lo .1". To set? poetic ,1"'':''(5.

All cXQmp/.:

1,;,:"'/91,;,,." J\ ,I

person

It,

0/ t/,;s ;S

f'<'I'1)1

TIl;""

1('/'':11 til!!

('<lme /r.:Jm ilwl.

11,,·.$(' 1'<",(;"

s;x;'yc<lr-pIJ J.w!;]lli.:r show.:) S"a,.I,ill::] 10,' IIt"J p"C'lry

lor

111<11,011 1(1 "$

':;'9"

I/'or,/s, as

"nl;"l,<)u;·

C'/""crntJss

0/ ;nv,mtion

can

1/10111':111.,;.

t:

FM ,I /"II!} limo ['I...• I/,"",/..J t, <l yrat'':f:j,u.1 ,·<lrdakfJr. A ~"'Il/l qualn! ~rlll!".lI<lrJ ~l)lmlWI,ltr... I'd Icork ,,/,,1/,., Nilllllll"I, P"11"'111 111c11's noi so important. 1 ar;;iutllhl app/it.J j.,r "1('. rositiQI1 a! (7 IIllrtl"'fI1 ,\(ic/,igall !1ral'C'y,wl. /',Ii , 11'11:1 a J.'!I ", 111'0 laY.!.

•

BEFORE DA\'{TN you ,.leI' oul lll8J11okl.

bllt in~lead .

IlIn~' tlll' ':01(1

dmw into your

j l is quiet

quiet cnoulOlh to weigh your wllllil' money owcd

life

lilts told

the ["otl, tl,at won't stop 8cllin~

thai snucle across till' JHlrtll'r

sometime

be Ilt",lI,

y,lur

tlw

Juring

feel the

tl110"

ni~ht

.'llIeak"

as ~ravjty l.,ke.

over

once i1~.lin

~lIddl'l1ly i1 llisLillll Oagpolo beginslo clud you realize lh.,l nothinJil but the wind exist.

flJ1g

ilnd dre,lI\l- go back to bctn~ irn路lcv"nt

1/ you

dotl" 11t~,,,!tillS freedom 0/ tile press, tll~1l.,11 tI,CSC little felloUJs arc weaseli1lg OrOUtIJ alld doillg t/,eir monkey busilless o"d tlli!Y ncver get coug/ll.

-Harold R. Medina

29

WINN

R

-' "f "

....

bathwater

30 Amber Edmondson I write through my blockages.

If nothing's coming-nothing

good-I'll

keep going. I11free write until I'm past the sticking point.

I get my ideas, my inspirations from obse.rvations, I like to start with small things-bits

0/ conversation,

heard or inve~ted.

Characters

happen then, Solitude also helps, an introvert thing, The dream job I'd love would be to. translate Japanese someone else's words, then work within the limits of our own language, I'm just starting to learn Japanese.

I

reason,

Or set them ablaze until I Ill' d"v.ny fuzz em Ih.-ir heads

•

~i7.7.lc- ilnd siink~t The~c WUn1l'n d., not jO!ll Jl1ild, do not turn cruel ,wJ l11urJ.'TOU't pillow:.< Ill. III.lwd in slral1gliul'! {in~(·I'N.

••

No

the.1I:

pn"hlllg

women arc ill Ml'ijcr .113 a.m.

1(,Jdl"T' in squ •••lkIl11 cerfs down

betwl'l'fI tlll·lin~eril:

when the bahy starts to scream ilnJ ki"k .111l1 ipit and fil't its Iland".

Tlll'~e ",,('mel!

blllsl"

ijllru~ up

hidto' lillm IH,·tty young

I

llwi r shllu lJct'~

f.w,· IwhinJ a green

Thl'Y uy. ·S"fry •• "Try,· .l~ lhl'y

(lut'h

past

•

knilll,J

Ilcal'L

dw 1,1.. zers. in it.,; liwellin~ swimming

51-ITTY, s<:rry, but till' baby Jell's not sbop doe~ notcease

31

cry.

The bahy'!> C.lCC ~rum redder, tornntn rotting in July ~1lJ1, bul no'll'ed like'lilC rnlllhOl's', not red like [cor anJ humiJialitlll and ra~e.

Not red like rill~"'1'l!grippill~ II1dul cart, like hal£.nloone pressed blo()dy into 1",,11113, • Ilul red, not red lik~"'IJi:lp or

Not lu~~in~

liklliho

R::'Iles c1~Tk i1)

lhnl

:lIe!"

lI(Odion.

rcd - nut f(Jvur-l1itcl, I'ed - I;~I; l1u,' mothers

hlt,l,Jy-paln1l'J

at

.,.c.cl

ves(,' rcd-onarthl-on.rec[

and"[ h·lpl" lheY11I.:rcam, red and

(iJr!>bbing.

OJ lelp!· lhey cry, "Make it st.,!!, I don't know whatlll pCl()lil1~ ~rey

and

slow

Jo!"

<lnJ you begin to 3ec bathwaler iln.ll1nJ their l,igh-htt,.ll·J hoot~.

°H~lp!' they cry,

light expression.

Cindy Robidou

, 1 '\1

~[l 11 1\

32

)'(,8. Str<ls.s My lifc~I!I/e

,b/<lC'h

IlIiI L'rclltiL'illl/'

$o)/llidillllZS l'lke:!

III,'

1/

t

(1\ Bl'

mind i" preO,'-Clljl;cJ I'll <,tI'l.?r tlwllyl,ts, !lOll can't @ll drJl!p, pall, 11,,11isn't ti'l! sceuu: rl)llte. 'Ilse», 1 ;111<1YO'I It '7/;lIlpse~ <1/ w/wt /'m r"ally 'ry;',~ to

yOUT

JO)IN'

cJ

6~~\

GIIIJI"g ,1IIJ lva ild "'1' pasl Illy

lay

d

sp~cific piece Ii"

Mocks.

Or al

11·,lrkill:7 ')II: oihcr iimes,

tllI'ec ,1.111.

/",,,k .. "I' Il'itl, 11'<'lIill,ls, iJ,:"t'I tllllt

/'I·,.;f.:

da(ql Som~iiml/$ fh«.~('<lr"

ih"!1 ar .. nea idiJos.

.11' past experiences. On bits ~/ conrcrsaiion. I /ind <1,wl.:.9,011'"'' I;uli,f bils 9/lexl ,11) !.,b<!/s, /ik<!.vn ccreal boXJ!s. My OU'11 /orl.·, pl'L,lc>!]rllp"y, connecl« 1I·t{j{,lIIdillspirtlS",y poclry-bt!",lU:>" 01tI,e ;111<1,1"$, OftL'''' l se« " ~·ig".:tltl ill Illy IlIutd--:-<)lI.l i(

, 1 drall' "<111

b.:calll.· a !''';:III,

11(:10) sl,o" my (cork ell lim.:s, b4I)r •• 11<lo.1k Illy f,'r&lI"'''''!! ,('ri/illg (!.ISS, 1!,;p,·c;al(lI. }O,. /<!cl Tall', slripp,.J r('o.lill!l111 ,1 ll'(Jrk::/'l)p ktli"g. 't(!II YMrs a£,o, i/ /l·"ulJ /"11',·1,,,,,,, .'1',,,, U'NS.' . .NOli', I do,,'/ care I !lave t" lit it ,'"1 Il,er,', ,,, my ('arly pl,ofograrl1Y ('!forts, J /elt mt!cI1a"icall!l 'n,'pl. Bill I f1<1I"I'~r tllLlf qllickly. No(( ,'111 doing LI,t! sa~r

01"

Y<l$, {'(·e I'L,.m Ih!SI

JOIt'II, "'/'""

poetry.

,./

A qUl.!slioll w~'ye r(}r~uLlcJl to

T..;qlli/',

.(

"IIIYII.I"'rt! •

,'Sll~some,

but you g!ct 11C)"IlH.l(·; ~/1H'l'li your (oyoritc

a

p ....

I RE CALL

the night'

;::::

, e

=.

t;

,/

of Aurora Flames, ;,t.'

A man yelled inside, "Come Quick," "They're Here" ! pouring out of the Tavern empying into the night.

I watched above, Merry Dancers

33

waved scarfves over heacf of pastel colors, Red, Yellow,Green, Blue rushed like a river racing hues scurried, on the night Irecalled, , colored silk replaced stars.

I believe in censofShip. I made a /artune out

0/ it.

~Mae West

\

~utonomy towards directions that reach only towards parallel end goals.

As autonomy continues to become an ever more important factor in American life) so does the need for changing lifestyles to best support our individual,growth. Though this sense of individuality is admired and rewarded in both men and women in America, it cannot be best succored in an environment of archaic family structures. Each individual, each sense of self, will flourish be~t in an environment that is best suited to his or her own need f~r stimulat.ion, support, and'sustenanc"e. As contemporary.society brt;aks away'from traditional roles within gender and relationships, the cessation of the dyadic norm of one Father and one Mother in the home has be<:_ome a limitation that we have neglected to take into consideration. The monogamous family unit initially so well suited to such doctrine has remained as a remnant, albeit tattered a:t;tdworn from its inability to conform along with the dynamic it was formed to support." As we have grown awayfrom the pattern of one breadwinner supported

by one helpmeet, we have faJed to seriously consider viable alternative lifestyles.

Alt~rnatives to monogamy present themselves in varying s'tructures which address the emotional, psychological, sexual and cultural, changes of today's Americans. Society itself scorns .and fears establishing ne_wrelationship dynamics, much like peer groups formed in high school ridiculed those who did not conform to fad and tradition. Despite this censure, there are numerous types of non-monogamous relationships b~ing explored today, although some are in secret"due to this disapproval

36

expressed by conformists. Polygamy,polyfidelity, polyamory, and swinging are just a few of the many alternative lifestyles that suggest there may be viable alternatives to monogamous tradition. .

Polygamy, defined bY'Websteras "[mlarriage in which a spouse of either sex may have more than one mate at the same time", is still practiced successfully in other societies today. Polygamy has been'deemed not only immoral but illegal in Alnerica since the late l~OO's. Per a published article cited by the Georgetown University Law Center, polygamist Mormon settlers in Utah were a:bleto construct a legal, social, a~d economic structure which flou~ished prior to the ban. The author of the

'!I

article proposes that' the practice was eradicated by the Federal g~vernment simply because the Mormons considered even the law secondary-to th~ir principles, and not because the practice of polygamy itself was not plausible (Kokiasmenos). .

-

.

Polyfidelity IS not defi~ed by Webster, but is defined on Wikipedia as "multiple romantic relationships with sexual contact .

'

restricted to specific partners in a group." This closed relationship could be assumed to offer a greater a sense of security than open promiscuity, with the added benefit of more opportunities for intellectual, psychological and emotional growth through close personal relationships than monogamy alone could offer. As well there could in effect be more people to share physical ahd monetary responsibilities with if the-participants share a home or' expenses. Per an article i;'"1 Time magazine, "The poly family is usually smaller than a commune and more committed than a swingers' group--though polyamorists insist on the prerogative of each family to set its own rules about fidelity, as long as'everyone is ho'nest."

Polyamory has been defined by White as "living by the principle that it is possible to love mOte than one person at a time without deception or betrayal" (17). Although resear~h shows there to be multiple versions of this style of relationship,

some

sUnlnl nnd

by

for a liretime time,

III

tlw

some

tI'ClTh'IlicoIl1y lhey con, IIr thallllll."-

IIO!.

one person.

~allhl uianner

b,.. \\7{1"scrstrolll,

it is assumed thAI

In "olYillllOry,

L1,aLil pnrel1l'slnw

untrue La their {(·l'lin~s to ins.s ••

•... it ib-sim"ly

reJat1on.hipij; tlte potential

or being

J,·,i.rc,l;

chance

II

1m practice

increllseJ

for t1<.'xualexploratiOIl

dOllc

"f

tlll~ir scme of d()~l'Ilt'~!!

l,'lllllTllllleJ

in a n(lll-juJg,m

il Wll~

Cl)lnmitmcnl

11 r(llyaUl(JIl"I~

T"i6 ill n"t 10811" .hill ""Y of tllese alternative

tlf

J1oIVrtl1lo"oIl9

f.1t

showeJ that re"p.".Jentzj alld

CCIl'Ufl',

'''~'ial

.swill~in)t it> J.·filll'J

rclalio1\~hin~

and Jrawh"L,k,

10 ca"h other. Some

!..IS tH!ell noh.d

"llJl~l·l1t. \" .:nrricll oul

prolot1g

11l.lb

fn.ling, of insecurity

lietJ, Bml enrich LiH·liws of

ur nr"""~.1JlhlU' TIll' cumparaliv.·

.1nJ iS~UCt;

""'1,,1(.'5

"f

public

vtII'i"IYi ,1Iul

til\'

lTl1ctllrt'

of

tbe

appear~ tv havl!

p"IY,1l11.1rt1U

of Ihis clM,·n.·,,~ dl'l'''''r.

to he a result of tire

79). C"II11111lnilalitln

raleJ highly

10 monllf!,'m)"

all

<),1" J,."I.lU~V

diffi .. ,,'ht-:> On., of

Ji~play

.'1Il1 in~eellrily

Orrt- 1(1I(ly fe,lr

cliuplcs tliilllelimc)i """rci"c ~hili alternntivc tlx<;jlclIlcnl neeJ~1 will, tlll'ir parlner'

<If liml' ':I1'Min~ Jp n.,L

\\'L' W ..

\lld h... fl'lIIil:lS

Ewin~cr~

!,C('lll

to

be of

qigniricanl

in tlll'ir lIud

kllowledge

rclw<1I1ct:.

A

sluJy

hnvc f"lInd n WAy to ,t.,I,ili7.C rt!1.,tl'lll,hip$,

i[ We' ,lill not lnkc Iheir lif"lflyl~ ,

amllilei.-

rcticfillilillll

'\Il:~Ci'~ ill 01"'1)

"s. ,;)oH·d lifc~lyl"lI

have been eVi1luateJ Wit!'ll sludy ",hj, It f<)lllltl tk,t •...,'ft,>r (i .•·, !,rl'.lkilll'! up Vi. 6[Il)'in~ t.lgl'tllCr)

!llllwl\'U t11"~C

Iwen poly.'l11omlls vtlrl'U~ 1I1(1scwhose Illarriil~cs hAd been ex.:!u:;ivc· (Ruhiu),

TI,(· (bin ir liL~ly ~kl:'Wl·J

dUl' til

inh·II,·c\lIill

8,'1I8C

IOVtl "erious" (BcrgslrM1J).

rtltc~

will) IlaJ

bonds: n

(Sh"H),

scvl'ral yenr8, 11lt'l'e wa~ IIU liglliri<.!ll11t diffeTl'l1c,> ill Inal"il.11 sl"hility CllUplcll

for

lime i;ciwtiuling IInJ 'lVl."rlilpl'illg neeJs of p,Hlncril.

by a private Catlroli .. 1I11ivcrsity in 2000 con.:ill.leJ that "Ill(

family

oC epousnl

witll res!,l'.:;! to lhclr parlrll'r's "tiler relnli"II,l,ips,

(11"

jl,!illnllsy

'I.. flllcilll

a..:.:ordin~ to the

1(1 lit! 1"'111,·.1 in fl'elin~£O

by W1t:i,,,i .. r a~ \In!5il~in8 fn,,·ly in !lc.'x: ~larri,·,1 nllcl honesl way ('If cOl1lril,uling 10 ilcxll1l1

p.1rLil'~ ,Ill' invnlv,·,I,

,'lll'S,,;

dl!pth

gn·ulel·

&tTclIgtllelling

1111d D ...Ciilir"

rclali'ln~hip"(O(lltl1l.l1'

"f tlt .. ir ,levi,lIlc,'"

it

~llltlnhll'i~,.,Jt1wl, "Lcillr:!

l,ip,;, .19.m open

relation

",CI'Vi"l'S

II) lll<,re Pl'll"lc:

lirc~tylc5 is c(ln.id,·n,,1 superior

·JiS{'l1lpowcrelll,y

,I·~llIel hl'Cilll~l'

.1 fr"ctl,llll;

1'0111(111•

int:CCt1:5C,1z;df-awill

\\·al, nil '1(1(·" rcll\ti'ln~11ip~, ,\S d1l'Y 1I1c(lillleJ tI'l'l'lIg1, tI, .., l.hsL.1c1cs .If

of

oH,'r lli1till~

it~ pracl itioners, .,ml

I1lnl scHill~;

diH...rCIII b.'ncfits

"HI(lIt'$

'"lli tll ...ir

Iwelled to Illilnng!.'

C<llllllllll1lcatiol\

•••• ih.·rcl1SeJ

r~tllIl

lhwugh n·hling

mo) ~'xperH'lIc,' ~li;:l,tly

111.1 .. Iudy

till: Jrtl\"'1dd~s

~11l)I~l'll

t:'ilhcr the quantity or

of involved diminish

l1ullltlt'rli

Ad

lulv('1I111f n 6L'1..0tlJ d,illl.

It

of fallinR ill lo\'f~ will, yet Iltwliler I'CI'~"1I i" ,11\\,.IY::O 1(·1t open

f~l'ling .,[ 1",I,)n~ill~n':6"';nJJc11 cOJIIl'ilni,mshii'i

polyamory

r"lali"nsllip,:,

possil.ility

bem·fit

IllllYillllnry

i(lr lll!\\ Il8I'"JJ5 uf l'cn:>o!1.llily to emerge

F..ll:h form of

llY the

bL'(l11 Jl!ci~lIellt •• SlIPlwtl

to -Lc mel

of lovtng more ,tl1I111one PClIHHl al

I, S 1111.'cap"hilily

!.• dIe

he expcdc,1

n'Mnnahly

CilI1I101

involvc.l.

d'l1llha" ..."

J~nlUcy Ihltes

lr.lVl·

TIlt!

\\'110 a~r()c will, tile p"ly.'IU<'I"iSI lif,.;;lyl,:.

for the indi\·idllnls

I')'1l'

for II fir~1 l hil.1 ia Iwl ,lill1illi~iH!d

the qlullity of tl,ciT IO\l·: I II Ie me I CIIII11nlllliti.,s

those

.'I~Il'liurtal nee!ll"

cnnl,·mpL

by

nr til(.)se l!IHl'(111C .. d ill ;tIll-illative '1IwH' art' lil·el}' 1l1,'I1}' <ll""r~ "h •••tre fimling t1l'W w"ys 10 deal the 11\)~~iIJility tllllt nlllUY

lifcl'lyll'!l

Ar.' ,,~crt'IJ\'l' .,bclIlllhcl1l

will, fL·!atioIlSI,ips

ill

t!'c

changing

37

":\lonogamy, It's Over Between Us. Esquire, Feb 2005, Vol. 143 Issue 2, p52-55,

3p, 2c. _

Overall. Chri"tine. Monogamy, Nonmonogamy, and Identity. Hypatia: A Journaluf Feminist Philosophy, .

,

Fall 9 "'. Vol. 13,.1.Tumber 4 published by Indiana Univer;ity Press p.L, 17p (taken from: http://www.iupress ... indiana.eduljournals/hypatia/hyp13-4.html) 4/19/06.

Ramey,

J. W

(1975). "Intimate Groups and Networks: Frequent Consequence of Sexually Open Marriage." The Family Coordinator,24(4), 515-530.

Ryall", K. and Foster, D. R. "Open Marriage: A Question of Ego Development and Maqiage Counseling?" The Family Coordinator,2,5(3), 297-302. (referenced by Elai.Q.eCook).

Rubin, A. ~1. and Adams, J. R. (1986). "Outcomes of Sexually Open Marriages:"l'heTournal 22(Issue 3),311-319.

9p. \\'"'aite,Linda

J. and

~'I

>1 .

/.

-_

of Sex Research, VoI.-

'" __

Maggie Gallagher. The Case for.Marriage. N~w York: Doubleday, 2000.

-~ ...

Wasserstrom, Richard. 1985. "Is Adultery Immoral?" In philosophy and Sex, ed. Robert Baker and.Frederic~ Ellison. Buffalo: Prometheus Books. Taken from Monogamy, Nonmonogamy, and Identity Overall at http://www.iupress.indiana.eduljournals/hypatia/hyp13_4.htrnl White, Valerie. (2004).

"A Humanist Looks at Polyamory." Humanist, Nov/Dec 200464(6)

by Christine

19-20.

.

4p.

-

T

39

h

n

0

'Cgl~~~P2~

0

'r a b

1 e.

.....

men tid n

retard week Andrew Finnerty gets cre:tivity blo~kage if they have anything going on in their lives-other ,

idea it pan seem great-then

the follow-through

often no longer seems so great on the page;rRY1-Q BE ~WI"':QNl1'iJ';'NAL

Also, when I get dn That original idea

\,'v'ITJt

9MYNESS Qt= Un

.'

a;;ivities or demands.

of putti;;g it on papel can be excruciating, raising doubts.

;

To get unblocked, I talk to other people who are readers, wh'o read my piece. I move on. Yo~ n~ed to have a humbleness about the work, (;lCce~ting

»: editing ideas of others.

i

['worked one story thmugh seven dra/is, feeling it w~s as good asii could be. But then

emailed to my friends asking them to tell me why it wasn't~ This gets me past the poi~t where I t~ink I'm done, or stuck.

Currently my idea is to push the inertia of an idea-to-go grQte~que sto;·y possible, Dr in the ~ase of "Retard Week, the offensive word("retardj

40

to usesim/lar

for th-e most in some mode of expression, for example to 'write the most n

to write the most offensiv.e story possible. But in that case, mupomi

continues to be used in public in describing the most defenseless·peop!';,

offe~siv;:words

about other groups

r;i people.

. '-

.

My inspiration comes from everything that bothe~s me. I try to be con/rontation~lwith attitdescQ,ut,there,

the unexamined

assumptions,

was that

even though;lf_e've been taught not

,

_"

.

the grayness of Me-that

is, the

. sl?-/f-serving

the ideologiesJh~t people let frame their worlds:

As far' as being hesitant t~ shou; my work, I did show "R~tard Week n to my- mother, in fact. At the end o/the day, you have t~ be ~r;tld

.0/ your

work, not ;";ithjust a select group of ~eaders, but with anyone.

·You'have to ~e c~mpletely' honest, .hide nothing, so th"at no one,

can bring that back against you. If you hide no~hing, 'there is no reaso1'.lto hide.

My dream job ;»ould be working as a college professor.-teaching taking a little bit more, to quote George CmJin (I think)

TAft jongei<versi(}n 0/ my .'j,

-

--"'"'4",

.

rhetoric.

_"':

Work is about taking as much

-

.,

story ."Retard Week n was too long for the magazine s print version, so I quess you <_

•

Miiyb~ both - the 10rl:ge'r'and sborter version should be on the magazines ,

about an unsympathetic-character

favorite aphrodisfac?

censored .

-

website,

That w:Xypeople could see that the full ve,,;ion isn't

who uses that word: At the end of the day, its a lov~ storJt. With both versions, people could see

_what 11appe'lf! when a story had;tc be cut netl;fp'in haff.r,

'My

'"

Gas07ine. Because

oj my

gasoline will be more expensive than diamonds. .

mojoYlwcle. The way to a '

•

rYlg~t'shedrtci"

through his motorcycle.

Also, in time

('

Before

,

'.'

eal hung

his head ill shame, be~B~'S~tanley'Smother called about her dog\roblem, at a place where George would act out horrific scenes of ~-a ID, around the time w~all learned to swear with reckless abandon: there was "retard week: -' ~, " , ' 1.

,

In school we took enough health class to fight our sexual us, and carne to understand why we shouldn't get laid. We

,

learned the gualities._ofdrugs that interested arned about reta~ds,

~h. Benson was a god-fe~ring man; the type of man any middle-cld"''''?!~''1t;I1U'Ju.,u~,u wants teac,hing .children their biological mechanisms. A man who... couldn't understand how penis-so the dirty fags could screw.Even when he spread the Gospel to none of those outcasts could confess to the joys of sodOl~:ly. '

his penis inside another stucl",in jail, even then,

But after ~orking for the public school system for fifteen years, there's one thing and that was retards,' ,

lVllr~,!;))*~Cill

He taught us to wash ourselves ... everyday,He was on a mission to curb the smell of junior __~" """_ one now, that rank smell of ass and feet., .isn't really ass and fe~t at alI; but the s~ell of pure hormones from teenage angst that lick the nostrils of every passerby. '

4.1 As students more concerned with,movies and,vIdeo garnes, Mr. Bens~n thought we ~~re'"desensitized" to humanity, To keep us in tquch with th~ world, -\'1r.Bens~n would take us to the Special Needs room to show us what happens when we take drugs and have pre~arital sex.

Next week, wewere to stare at retards.

Before we were asked to grow as individuals,' befo~e we could infer, bef~re that: there was "retard we;k: ***

- Later, wh~n Iwo~kedas a video store clerk, we'd get "customers of a lower ~ersuasion: We'd also get retards, Stanley citme to the store once a week tying his'Collie to the bike rack outside. , ,

That'poor dog walked stiff and rigid, like girls who attend 'Chri;tian Schools.

St~nle~r~d no, SCOO~Iir'

thro~gh the sections, ,alwaysconcluding in t~e adult room. Goonies ... .yes... 1fhe could watch Kung-Fu Whores 9'hrst, ,

..... ~.~:iRnple get all hung up knowi'lugretards watch porn. They get more hung up knowing we could be sued for denying them.

L-aterthat evening, Stanley's mother called the store in a tizzy. That poor dog shat all over her son's b.ed.And how @ we rent her boy pornography. Sh~'d come home to find her baby,ramming that dog in his bedroom. N9~ody knew, however,which movi~ was playing: Scoo~ Doo, or the other one.

That sad pathetic dog moped"to the store with Stanley, head bent in shame, legs lifted in pain, strolling like the girls of Christian Schools. .

Before the d~g was given away,before Stanley went nowhere without his mother, before that: there was "retard week:

••• Susan brought her son George andhis girlf6end Lucy to the store ... everyday.Suspn received state aid'to spend on George and Lucy, which also supplied her pot and movies.

I

42

George gimped through the horror section, looking for slasher movies, murnbli~g'.to himself faster th~n a speeding retar~, scaring ~eople out of the section, to have it for himself. George wasn't mu1P-different from ten-year-olds of the .Midwest; he needed a constant stream of horror and violence to keep him occupiJd. . .

Lucy, that sexy girl who alwayshad Led Zepplin blaring from her headphones, asked my coworkers to help her find the latest Hentai release. These animated cartoons from Japan could leave no fantasy unturned for even the strangest of deviant sex-fiends, nor Lucy, who mostly liked scenes with dragons, mostly.

George gave Susan a movie and l,ucy handed Susan her "cartoo~s" al).dSusan's bl, ~dshot eyes said it all. She knew-we' all knew-that the retards would be up all night fucking.' . .

,

I'

- People.get all hung up kn~wing retards watch 'porn. They get more hung !1-P know,ingthey have sex afterwards.

Before Sharon knew what a Graffix bong was, before she hid the Led Zepplin records, before that: there was "retard n

week.

r

***

I.'·

In high s'chool, after performances, my brother met me in the corridor where marty·friends and relatives ,wo'uldgreet _~tudents, congratulating them on a job well done.

This is where Neal would put himself. Neal: the gatekeeper. Neal: security guard number two, painter num1er four; the

part created for him, the part with no lines or blocking. For our story, Neal is retard number four.

Teal-shook my brother's hand, had to tell him his clothes were awesome, had to repeat the punch lines my brother just gave, to the point where my brother thought he was being mocked ~nd ~ould have to defend himself.

"Look buddy," he said with authority, '"1 don't know what your fucking pr~blem is but you better take a fucl<inghike: iI!f

..

i\eal walked away,head hanging, defeated and retarded:

"

People get all offended when you tell off a retard. They get more offended when he deserves it.

We stood gawking, which added to my brother's sense a'f glory as he turn~d back to us, like he saved us from further 'abuse. "Wait one minute," I said, and came to Neal's rescue, telling him my brother was joking and we alllaughed'about it and thought he'd get the joh, as the others explained to my.brother the situation. .

..

The situation was... my brother was an asshole. The question was,'"Bro, are you a fucbng retard?"

Before my brother was explained social settings, before Neal's life was created for him, before that: there was "retard

43

we.ek."

••• ,

Back in.school, Iwas counting-the days leading up to our class visit, feeling the dread of watching, people on display,_~ like a visit 1',0 ~he zoo: "retard week: ' , '. ...,'" '.'

All week'the notes passed thr~ugh the aisles, working bette: than any political resistance kn6~ ,

, •

to man ... or reta~d:

,

Please d~ ~o feed the retards. If y~~ corner a 'retard, it may become pr~vol<edand will attacl<. If bitten by'a retard, seek '~dical'as~istance in:mediately. ' , .' ,.1

Never in the history of pre-teens were we more together with motal objection than the days before retard , w~el<.Walking the hall to our lockers with the h~nging cloud of guilt and sha~e upon us, "Dude, 1 ~on't want to ,stare at retards," we told each other. Our parents, waril.ing the best education a. "" " school could offer, t~ld us to respect 'the deci~ion of our teacher, it w;uld m~ke us people. in college, before all those nights thinking thing~ through, drank a night awarto retards.

please d~nlt feed the· ~etards

*â&#x20AC;˘* On the eve of "retard week" I spent hours pondering great acts of 'Civildisobedience I was too cowardly to execute. I talked to friends and parents about morals and values and the ethical dilemma I had been thrust into. Of course, I. didn't own that l"ind of lar{guage at the time, so everything came out as, "Dude I don't wanna fuckin' do this goddamn bullshit. This whole deal is too far fucked for me to deal with!"

We lined up at the door of the Special Needs room ready to start the torture.

.

.

If you think that smell of ass and feet, which normally lingers in school, is bad; then you have never been to "the Retard Room: That place could assault the senses on the most profound levels. .

Tears filled our eyes: to block the sights, I cannot say. But I can'tell you, that things couldn't be much worse. Mr. Benson started his lecture on tarotogens that cause mutation among genes.

44

H~ Wascut short by my wristwatch. The air raid warning fro.n~my alarm caused the l'etards to go mental, or ... more mental. 00aning, spit, and spastic behavior of limbs and throats halted the lecture altogether. People forgive the . retard for he knows n~t what he does.' .

He lmows better.

And so does M~.Bens'on, for when he was young, he too was "sensitized" to people he and his fellow students were unfamiliar with. In the fifties, when Mr. Benson was in sch~ol, the teacher brought the class to'th~ Negro room, Here, she taught everybody about black culture and the court cases that¡allowed blacks in their school.

On Monday, Mr. Benson didn't impart us with the effects drugs have' on unborn children, becalise sometimes th~t shit just happens. He didn't¡" sensitize" us to the pressing social issue~ of others: Had he not divided ~s we might have go~e our entire lives thinking retards were people. , But the thing about retards is: they cannot h~lp the attention, and never ask to be the cause of a stare or diversion of the eyes. The retard can never "keep it real," nor does he or she give a shit what you think. They are poor li~rs, who neyer use sarcasm to put you down. They cannot worry about being "fake: They facilitate dreams and nightmares we cannot fathom. Their interests and tastes cannot be coerced by the promise of sex. They com~ sincere with it, every time. They don't have a word that alldws defenseless people to feel ashamed.

The thing about retards is; they have nothing in common with you, And still ...

\

~.

\

unexpurgated ~ersion.'

,

-,........

,

~~'

•

•

John PahL Faculty Advisor !

..... __......,.. ..._-_-T' STAff SUBM.ISSION

, 46

c~J;-\/j )(l~ ~/" \

"

;-.,-

Blockages for me are like the Niagara River with an ice jam right at the brink of the falls. Somewhere beneath i-~~nks

.,

current is flowing, but I can't always see it or get to it.

" I ha"

'0 blowup that [ani'0 9"

past

thi" ieeierinq,

solid, as though water flows only on other coniments. move over that brink.

dnng~u,

edqe

D~ng'm~ b,,~,

if itlM~

it starts

'0 f~t,J~old

of ice a

am!

I get deSperate, I get indifferent, I get outs/de mysel/_.,_then things ~haw and

.

My inspiration comes /rom suddenly rel~ased memories, a fragment from earlier in the day or the year. Ideas 1have for poems or stories can sit there on a shelf for months.

They 11probably never work_ The things that occur as fresh, unbidden starts ~~e more likely to get

middles and ends. Not the same for ~ssa~s, articles, though.

1hesitatf}

They are more deliberative, -contem;lative, planned.

to serve up raw thi~gs, things fetched from an old ceilar or yanked /rom the mud. If the roots ~~e ~eally deep-anger,

private yearnings, childhood-they

fears,

stay with mOeuntil I can be sure they have something for oth~rs to ~artake i1']; then I ~igh.t show

them'.

My idea of censorship is that it flows from power and, oddly, from fear., And it /lows over those who the powerful ones or fearful ones ~ant to control or protect. I have had my work, primarily as a teacher or editor of others' efforts, cen;ored, at least temporarily. Long story, hapPY!lnding.

Affec_tion 1's my aphrodisiac.

1 m::Sli1':\IT: 1-0, SERVr:: Uf' MW l1\IN§S, ntlNGtS f"'ETCttED fRQM AN QLD CELLAR QR YANKED fRQM l11E MUD,

r

Much, mudh later (after the cave was discovered and the big rock rolled aside), ' in a pleasant garden, within sight of the Parthenon, we see two partially robed figures.

Plato

Uhh. , .'Damon, isn't it? please don't play that lute near the kids.

Damon

why not? It's not plugged in,

plilto I know, but certain musi~-other th~n l~ll-a-byes__:poses a danger for children-as we discussed in,the case of poetry: Damon Poetry-I Plato

still don't get that. 'You mean I ,can't read the l~idsSappho?

I assume that you could, b~t ~ost d.efinit~lyya'u may not.

Damon Why not?

48

Plato' Well, for one thing, she's not alive yet, But as it turns out, she'd,be even m~re infla~matory than most of OUT contemporary poets, You see, .. [switches from Platonic dialogue to Platonic'monologue] ... po~try arid music ai:efar too emotional for children, Children have to acquire a certain le'velof thinking___:_'we philosophers call it reasoni~g--before the powers of those rhythmic modes of expression can enter their ears without reshaping their , premature minds. Anything,with a strong beat is q~te dangero,us, I've spoken of thi.s with you before, haven't I? It ,was gi~en during Orientation. You should-.

Damon (interru~ting) OK, OK., So, ~nlike poor Socrates, I ;hould stop playing with-I younger people, in generaL No lute, no song., That it? ' Plato

mean near-kids,

Yes,th~t's right; No lute, no singing, not with kids, But I really wish you'd not brought up Socrates;

Darno~ Why's that? The older students around here say you were always bringing him up.

Plato Yes, I often have i:nthe past} but I've not done so lately, He's too deep to bring up now, if you get my point, But, seriously, it's ~ m~re difficult topic now th~t he's gone.

Damon You mean the 'trial, his apology, the hemlock, the cup and all that. ; .

Plato

If you insist' o~ dwelling on it, yes, that's

why I'd rather not think about it just now.

Damon Do you mean that because you'd rather not thinh about it, I'd better not speak of it? Hrnm .... But I do have eorne nagging ~uestions about his trial and his self-performed execution, and I'm just going to ask them, even if they give you a headache.

p6to

Mo,'yoo?

.'

'K â&#x20AC;˘ - \....:\ \.._'. ,

\j

.

.)

,

\'J:] , .

Damon Yes. For instance, are you'really sorry Sodrates was executed? After all, he stirred up young mj,nds ill ways you seem to be worried about. He led them to think on the"irown, to question, often at a very ~arly age. '

,.,)-'

.. ',' But enough of this. I th~nk you need to see that big fell9w over there, th,(one with th,e'sword,and the k~y ;hai~.

He 11see you to your new lodgmgs. . .' \' '. ~. ". ' .

Plato

Fine. I'll give you ten minutes.

'Qamon Iknow this sounds naive, but 'aren't we supposed to be pursuing 'the truth? Is-n'tthat our qu'est~our ascent up the narrow passageway,toward the full light of the sun? I took notes on that allegorical story of ~he cave, the-fire and so on-I have it right, don't I? '

..

Plato Ah, yes, the truth. But what version of the truth .do you speak of just '. now? There's iI1e Ide~lTruth, my favorIte, since I more or less\nvented it, but, ~lefs f~it,"'notreall; obtainable. Some prefer the whole truth, others speak of unvarnished truth, bald truth, plain truth and such oddities as raw facts, which can he really' disgusting.

I

Darnoll

Well, what about Divine Truth?

Wouldn'Uhat

about this truth or that truth being the truth? .

Plato

settle any qi.1ibblin:g I

_

'\

But'how to know Divine Truth?

..

-

,

,

\

__

~_l

\

.-

Plato Yes,he did. The way you're-doing now, I'~ n?ti~ing. But, 0, I'm dreadfully sorry he had to be p~t down.

Such a waste. And he was my teacher, my master, you know. I thi_nkhe' was, on balance, good at what he did before he

Damon New lodgings? But Ijust got settled in my Aoadelny room. Look whatever place you seem determined to send me to, could we have just a few more rounds of this dialogue thing?

Ireally do have some troubling , , questions.

'

\

,

. ,

-

,,~,

" I

mytO":1 ;Whydon't we corisu,ltthe oracle at Delphi? How ab-Qutif we were to

goa

th~re, call).~ field trip, and if you still think I'm disrespectful or.too pushy,,that guard:fella take me away In fact why don't wei:ake him along? He's not .that bad 100 i "~. . ._ ~. ~,

I'm not th~t peripatetic. Let's take. a ch'ariot. .I feel a~other

plato

..

e

J

"

..

On the slopes of MoUn arnassus, outside Delphi, an old man with a strange look in his eye- hunches over bird entr~ils near"a 1 oody altar. Damon leaves him, holding his stomach, and joins Plato down the hillsid~ a bit. . . ------II .. .

I

,

Damon

~ Plato

..

May~both, but I could certain watched the~ fly around.

one without the bird guts.' I-thought these guys just

Damon

Plato

dou

,

Or. was it-what yo'uh~ard that has upset you?

Come, now.

You'-rethinking of the oracle at Thebes

Apoll~'s Oracle always opens them up.

0

wanted 1'0 come.

Well, yes. But talk ab~ut obscurity. No wonder \ ipu went awayupset. ' Is thi~~hat you'd call Divine Truth? Seemed more like half truths. Or truths hy omi ion.~Or mostly ~oherei1t

Damon

mutteririgs.

l ..

~-

"

M.

-

Plat~

You mean he didn't give you Apollo' s truth-unadulter:Sturc~n~ed, the pure"truth as Apollo's own priest is pIedged to give? (dramatic pause) MaybeyOti'v .I~ar~d something., The highest truths-they aren't for the average mind. Sometimes they need to be inask~~:r bred a bit. Did you understand nothing? . " .

" â&#x20AC;˘ D~mon I'm not sure what he was mumbling'about. I simply asked him if we humans wou \ ~ to k~ow the full truth, divine, sublime, mundane or whatever, and he starts in chaI1ting a who e , things. You should have heard it.. _ . . , Plato

Such ~s?

Damon Such as something about

a young, obscure carpenter

being executed-slowly,

cruelly, for the

.;; .... _,... crowds to see-si~ply for what he was teaching th;;~ who want~tto listen. government's part-Roman, Ithink. .... ;.

Plato Wouldn't that depend on what he was-as you put it-teaching?

Maybe he was working against a good society, a True Republic. '

Plato

And-was

that it?

Damon No. There was much more, all in a swirl, like a bad dream. It wasn't his voice a~ymore, but lil~e clouds moving through my mind. People burned alive for believing this or professing that. Long lines of . starving people moving i nto d_arkrooms because ... I couldn't re~lly tell why. People ab~ut t~ be.run over by giant machines because they wanted to speak out. Then, lots of people with glazed-over eyeslool~ingat shiny boxes, trying to smile, That's when I started to f;el si~k, Plato Dear Damon, let us return to the Academy. You'vehad a bit too much for'one day. Just'let me tell you one last thing~ Truth is so powerful 'it must be controlled. And you must remember that when someone or something with Authority stands between you and Truth, you'll never have to WOtrythat the truth will reach you and harm you. .

You are protected. Do you :;'nderstand? Let's

rcbunn 짜/

to th~ quiet grove~of Academy. .

End of Part One

51

,tonight

Heotner Maggio

\ 'ilttNK mAT ' 'CEN5Q-RStl1f' IS OU5T {\,.WAY1"'Q TRY-p;l

f QKCE 'P,EQf.'LE ~ ffiNl< lltE wAYY2.U '-".!ANT Tl\EM -p;l ,

.

52

,

Spmetimes I have a really great'idea for something that I am worli!ingon and forget the 'ide~ bE)for'eI get a chance to write it down. I_sometimes don't get it chance to run with an idea even if I do' get a chance to write it dowri. I guess this happens when you'work in ~ place where you must alwaysbe doing something constructive. Other times I may l~se tracli!of wllere I am trying to go in it story and it just dies~ I need to write stuff down a lot,.I find. I have documents o~ my computer that are just synopsis of stories I am trying to write. ' . .

To get'past s_tickingpoints; I tend to push tlllngs to the side that I have trouble with. And I will-either start something _newor take a break from writing and work.on other things, like sewing, reading, or anything'I may need to get don'e at the moment, I don'treally get rid of anythihg,-so I still have lots ~f unfinished books, play~ and screenplays. Thankfully, I eventualiy get r~ally good ideas f01;my favorite pieces and I can usually pick back up on them.

'Inspiration? I get ideas from everything really. Ofher booI~s,life, moyies, and so on. I pretty 'much just hear so~ething and I prct.lymuch just run with it from there. â&#x20AC;˘ " , Sometimes I really don't want to shqw anyone my work. Especially if I d?n't think it is very good in the I do sometimes leave things out. ,. like notebooks and stuff, if I want it to be f~tlnd. I don't like asking for might get it. Though I know I need some feed back I would rather someone just say, "I fou~d your worl~and it was go except for this, this, and this.Âť .

In:basic terms ... I 'think that -c~ns;rship i~ just a way;to try to force ~eople to thi~li!the wa~you want them t(;. Turning - ~ff their message in hopes that they will give u~ and hand over their mind to you. It is de"structive'and it can,be' erie of the worst things we do to each other.

-.

Yes;I've been censored, but really onlyhy ~y~elf. I don't like unkind criticism, so if I feel I will be on the receiving end I wil_!keep quiet.

'

Sl~AFf .StJBMISSI_ON "

letters

Joseph Van Wagner I d9 have blockag,es, but I don't know what causes them .. Possibly ~tress.

To get rid

0/ the

blockage I go for a 路walk. How far depends

My inspiration just sort to, one type

0/ music

0/ comes.

1m

how bad it is.

A/ter a good movie, after some music.

Or I

sit in a quiet pla~e.

There's no constant.

and k;'ow that it will inspire me, for example. It just sort

1can't

.

0/ co~es:

1 am sometimes hesitant to show my work to others. It depends on what it is. I won't show work to people w,,' ..... .v" seem interested and I won't show anyone un/inishe8 My dream job?-brain

surgeon.

pieces.

.

sit down to listen

• URED EV13FYTHING into those letters. If he ever felt-sad-the time his dog died after _ being hit by a s~hool bus-or angry-when he g~t fired from his part-time job at the rental ~ar place-or anything at' all-he'd write another letter, ' The letters were never addressed. N~body.ever received them .. They all began with a silent Dear 'God, but they' never left the house. They all wound up in a box in a c~binet next to some old bo'oks and records. -His ow~ little cardboard confessional. ' , The letters were his way of coping. He could keep his feelings ~iet around everybody else; he'd smi1e and chuckle at his in-laws' bad jokes, shake his boss's hand and congratulate him ~n taking credit f9'r all his hard work, he'd eve~ ', tip the asshole clerk at th~ coffee shop because he thought it was the nice thing to do and it w~sthe only place in town that could make a good Chai. He'd grin and bear everything life threw at him, and those letters worked every' time.

Not with her. He couldn't lie to himself to make her go away. There were too many constant reminders-he'd put away her pictures, taken,her off his speed dial, h",'d even gone and ty.cked awaythe concert l-shirts they'.dbought last summer; changed every little aspect of his life that he thought would remind him of her. He didn't ev~n make his eggs the same way in the morning; she'liked them scrambled, too: He took down the box andshuffled through the handful ofletters inside. The oldest ones were yellov.:ed,the seals on the envelopes worn and crusted.' Augustl_994. Jan~ary 1996. July-1997.· He didn't wr-itethem often. -The' last·letter was dated last Friday. The one prior to that was from the Wednesday before. Three years since the time before. He'd already tried this twi;e. No other l¢tters in the past thirteen years were about the same thing., What hadn't he done?, ' , -, ,

55

The most important-thing. The constant r~minder was the thought th;J,tlingered in the back of his -mind, three words that h~ refused ever to say.because ±hey might change the way things'were. H~ kept telling himself what he, didp't say wouldn't hurt anyone, but the lie didn't work. He'd proven to himself oth~rwise. What he ~idn't say was hurting him the most.

He placed the lid on the box, slid it carefully between the stack of old records and the 'row of encyclopedias, and c'iosed the cabinet. He w~sn't going to lose ,any ;;;'ore'sleep .staying up sick with worry and regret. He sat down at his ~esk, flicl~edthe switch on his desk lamp, and-addr~ssed the ~ext lett,er. '

"

ilFreedom'oJ,.speech means that you ~halJ not do something to people either for the views "",_,__t_f_ have,

O'T

the':views they express, or the words they speak or w~ite. n

Hugo 1. Black,

"

u.s. Supreme Court Justice 1963

'

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(Y~:"~ .

...

'0

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... .. .' .

~.~. '-abraham's children A Sestino.bv ~'lthleen Firestone

..

,

[If blocked} I get away from home and ~y normal surroundings. time to write. Others in the-jamily go play; I ~rite. umtten in the back of Ol'r camper RVas

I change my place: On vacations, I t'avejree'

The sestina submitted to.thl~ issue ofjh.e magazi~

we. drove home from Florid _a. I announced,

was

"Don't anyone bother, me.

I'm wr(ting a poem. " Life experiences provide my material, cis do tlqe people around me, so many to wor.k with, waiting for when I have time:

- '

- Sometim(!s ideas come at nig-ht, unexpectedly.

I hesitate or a~id showirl~ my wo~k to "easy" readers or critics, ~hose ~raise-gjve~s wh~~~ prai;~fs too'g~neraus.

I want the truth. "1sometimes heSItate to show others my work if I thmk they WIll equ ie me wl.th my.characters, their attitudes.

"

,,'

fA sestina~is}

like"a word game, almost.

fit; th~ wh.ole thing must make sense.

S;x,w~nk ""

i.e"d +r":

acant

paI~=~,b", ,hoy='.

GAZ'E UPON

the seeds of Abraham, bewildered faces of descended children, . "pale images on cracked, old photographs.

The 5wastib's wild hate set to eliminate, crush their race, their bodies into pieces, those God. had called" my people-Israel."

-

-

No land for them called Israel.

No touching Father Abraham, whose generalions scattered into pieces and mixed with Europe's blond, blue-eyed children.

Hitler's mad dream would eliminate the dar.k-haire.d babies of the photographs ..

From these scarred, orphaned children, ones that no one could eliminate, rose a restored nation, Israel, wher~ Promised Land found mended pieces, . lined its w~lls with faded. photographs of parents go~~ to be with Abraham.

Let no m~re children be crushed into pieces!

Nor so eliminate their photographs! please, God of Is.rael and Abraham!

Look closely at the photographs.

Thirik ~f Jacob, then called brael; his tears. for children marked "eliminate,-wipe out the millions left by~Abraham;" And Rachel still weeping for her children, little ones, fr~il bodies torn to pieces.

Wonder at the nations left in pieces. See war-torn cities' photographs.

Pictures, bones of little children, daughters and s~ns of Israel; ashes and blood of Abraham, .

Hatred almost did.eliminate.

But those whom hate could not eliminate picked u'p the shard~, life that lay in pieces, looked up to the God of Ab~aham . . See their faces in the photographs.

See the lingered hope of Israel, the few surviving lives of little children.

I disapprove of what you ~aYIbut I will . defend to the death your right to say it. ",Voltaire ','

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