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REMEMBER BETTY: Our exclusive interview with Bethany Wood
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EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW
In September, NK Airplay had the privilege of interviewing Bethany Wood, Danny Wood’s sister and the director of Danny’s Foundation, Remember Betty.
Erzsie: NK Airplay welcomes Bethany, the Director of Remember Betty. We are going to have an amazing interview with her. I’m Erzsie. With me, I have Lyssa AKA DJ Spicy, and we are both very excited to have you here today.
Bethany: Well, thank you for having me. I appreciate it.
Lyssa: Thank you so much for joining us. Let’s get started with the first question.
Bethany: Sure!
Lyssa: Can you tell our listeners, what is your story regarding your breast cancer?
Bethany: It’s not something I talk about a whole lot. I am a survivor. It is 9 years, this year. I found - well, it was found - under a routine mammogram the day I was packing to move to Seattle. So, I knew when I came to Seattle, I had to have a biopsy pretty much immediately. What was probably the worst part of it was being so far away from my support system. I had a lumpectomy, chemotherapy, and radiation. So, I had the whole shebang, and I have been cancerfree for 9 years.
Lyssa: Wow!
Bethany: Yeah, it was caught very, very early. I was very lucky, and that’s when I hear things about routine mammograms not being necessary. I’m always like, ‘But mine was caught on a routine Mammogram’. You know, so, I still feel like they are really, really helpful.
Erzsie: We have some amazing Hospitals in Seattle too, I live in Bellevue, so I’m close by.
Bethany: OK, I went to Seattle Cancer Care Alliance
Erzsie: Yeah!
Bethany: Yeah, the best, the best here. You know, my sister was originally like, ‘You need to come back East, you need to come back home’. I was like, ‘I can’t!’ But, I received fabulous care, and I was very, very fortunate.
Erzsie: Well, excellent! It sounds like the most difficult part was being away from your family. Were there any other issues that you struggled with?
Bethany: Chemotherapy is not fun. I mean it really! I was in some of the best shape of my life because I ran the Marine Corps Marathon in October of 2012. So, I was diagnosed in August and still ran the marathon. So, I was like in amazing shape, and chemotherapy just wiped me out, like it was rough. So, radiation seemed like a walk in the park compared to that. But, I know everybody’s different, and you just don’t know how your body is going to react to things, and yeah, being away from my family, by far, was the worst. However, I will say that it gave me opportunities to meet people here that are still some of my closest friends. So, that’s probably the good thing about it, you know that came out of it.
Erzsie: So, I know a lot of Blockheads are somewhat familiar with this, but can you tell us how the Remember Betty Foundation got started?
Bethany: Danny. Danny started it in my mom’s memory. You know, I had to go back and look at some dates, so, I have some notes here. So, I believe the first kind of inklings of it was in September ‘99. But it didn’t really get going until the New Kids, came out the second time around. So, he had things donated to the Komen Foundation for quite awhile, for, I believe, 8 years, then in 2015, he created Remember Betty, as a 501c3, a non-profit organization, recognized by the IRS. So, people who donate money can then have it deducted for their taxes. That was in 2015, and that is when we moved more towards giving out the money ourselves. It was mostly because some of these bigger organizations, like the Komen Foundation, is nationwide, and it’s got very large overhead, to have a little more control to where the money actually went, and I took over in May of 2018. So, I have been doing this for a little while. Danny just asked me, and I wasn’t going to say no. It’s been such a great opportunity for me to - to be able to do this in my mom’s memory and to be able to help so many people.
Lyssa: Now, would you say that it was a family decision to name the foundation, Remember Betty, or were there other names considered?
Bethaney: Nope! That was it! It was definitely Danny’s name, and we all just said, ‘that sounds great’! It seemed appropriate, and there really wasn’t a lot of discussion about it.
Erzsie: Yeah, definitely, it was existing back in 99’. I wasn’t aware of it until the band reunited. It was the reunion concert where he was selling those tank tops. That was the first inkling I had of the Foundation.
Erzsie: Well, how do you feel about Remember Betty Teams all over the U.S.?
Bethany: They are amazing! They are the reason, you know, where we are today, and that we can help so many women. I don’t want to get into too many questions, but they are fantastic. Here in Seattle, I have a few other companies that I have been working with, but they are our main source of revenue, you know, for Remember Betty.
Lyssa: Are there any plans for any International Remember Betty Teams?
Bethany: Well, there’s a small group in Spain. They’ve been here numerous times, and my dad knows them very well. They have done a few events. It’s really difficult to raise money in another country that isn’t supporting people in your country. So, I mean, it’s just really difficult to do. So, it’s not that I’ve ever said no. It just hasn’t happened, like a full-on team.
Lyssa: Right?
Erzsie: Well, I know there are a lot of people who do this, but can you tell us how do you come up with the different events?
Bethany: You know, and I don’t!
Erzsie: I was wondering!
Bethany: No, I don’t. I am not the creative type. I am very good at the bookkeeping and the business-end of things, but I am not. It’s amazing how the teams did a lot of 5k runs, paint nights, and things like that, and then Covid hit. I’m like, ‘OK, we’re not doing anything’, and initially, it was like, ‘we need to just not do anything for a while.’ But it was kind of amazing how somebody came up like, ah, we need to wear masks, and I believe it was Lori Frederickson, was like ‘Oh masks! I have these old sheets!’ and I’m like, ‘People want to buy these sheets?’ But they did, and it’s what kept us alive! You know then somebody, and I’m not sure who the first virtual event was, were just like, wow, maybe we can get Danny to do a virtual event. I should have looked that up, because now I feel bad that I don’t know who it is, but I’m just like, ‘Really, they want to be on a computer screen just to see you there!’
Erzsie: Kinda Crazy.
Bethany: The Teams did like an amazing job of pivoting and just going, ok, now we are going to do this. You know I was in an event, and I could see why this was kind of fun. And, I got to participate in one event, which was really great for me because I learned a lot from my brothers in that event. So, that was really fun. But, they really come up with everything. I – I, don’t. Even the events we’ve had here in Seattle, between Lori and Jen and a few other people that we have here, they’re the ones that really come up with things. I’m just the cheerleader, and what do you need, paperwork, and the backend of stuff.
Erzsie: Well, Lori has gotten me addicted to buying things, I knew her anyway, but I’ve bought so many New Kids’ masks now, and now that she has this Fangirl Creative, I’m buying more.
Bethany: Tumblers? Did you buy tumblers?
Erzsie: I have 2 different tumblers. I have this one, the ‘Funky Trance Survivor’.
Bethany: Oh, Ok.
Erzsie: And then, I also, and it just so happened to be right in front of me, but I also have the ‘We Were Here’ from Fenway.
Bethany: Nice!
Lyssa: I’ve got the Remember Betty tumbler recently.
Bethany: Oh, you did? That one’s nice too, I actually have that one.
Erzsie: I don’t use them: I just buy them because of Danny.
Lyssa: What makes Remember Betty different from all the other breast cancer groups that are out there?
Bethany: There are a few that do what we do, but not many. We, well first of all, it’s not just breast cancer patients: we also give money to the survivors. I think a lot of people don’t realize that even after you’ve finished your treatment, the effects of medical bills there are can be astronomical. Like, even if you have good health insurance, which I had. The deductibles and the co-pays, can be devastating for some families, and you feel like you’re paying this forever. So, that’s why we also include survivors in our grants that we give. So, I think, that’s one of our big things. The other thing is, we give directly to people for medical bills, and we ask for very little bit of information, and a lot of grants are ten pages long, and you need to send all the stuff in. We try to make it very simple. So, I think those are the 2 biggest things.
Lyssa: Amazing!
Erzsie: Can you give us any hints as to what events might be coming up in November and December?
Bethany: December- well actually, October- In October, we’re going to have some kind of Halloween Event. In December – December 4th, we are going to have some Holiday themed something.
Lyssa: Looking forward to that!
Erzsie: I did go to an October event, one that Jen organized with the Remember Betty Milkshakes.
Bethany: Oh Yeah!
Erzsie: It was a Halloween event, and it was a lot of fun, so I’m looking forward to what you have coming up next.
Lyssa: What is the most inspiring or memorable event that Remember Betty has taken part in?
Bethany: So, there are 2 events, I don’t know if either of you remember the City Challenge Event. It was in Lowell, Massachusetts, and it was before I took over. Abbie (Vicknair) did an amazing job with it, and they raised an enormous amount of money. But that was so much fun. I tried to do that again with the Donna Marathon; unfortunately, Danny had a conflict and couldn’t go. We still did it. It was February 2020. So, it was right before all this stuff happened, and we had a much smaller group of people. It was probably about 40 people, but it was great, and I met so many great people. I made a lot of connections, because the Donna Marathon is also a breast cancer foundation, called the Donna Foundation, and they very graciously let us join their group to raise money for Remember Betty. So, I got to meet people and talk to some people about how that foundation grew. I got a lot of really great ideas, and then Covid hit, and it seems like we’re still in that kind of unsure area. So, hopefully, sometime in the near future, I’ll get to use some of those contacts and some of the ideas I learned from that event.
Erzsie: Obviously, you can’t name names, but what are some of the most inspiring stories you’ve heard about others and their journey and how Remember Betty has helped them?
Bethany: So, there’s so many stories, to be really honest. Even just getting a thank you note in the mail or an email is amazing. But I have a couple of pretty unique stories. You know there is somebody, who is in the Pacific Northwest, that didn’t really need financial support, but more needed emotional support, and Abbie (Vicknair) got us in contact. And, she is one of my closest friends at this point, and she is a two-time breast cancer survivor, in about 4 years - maybe 5 years. So, she had to go through this twice. She is an amazing person, and somebody I am very grateful to have in my life. Then, there are just people, who, somebody, in the midst of all this, in the midst of Covid, and being diagnosed, and everything else, was still getting married. I shouldn’t have worded it that way, but looking at the positives. You know what, I’m doing this: this was the plan, we’re going to move forward, and, you know, things like that, the positive, and I can kind of relate to it, being there myself. You have to look beyond the 6 months, beyond however long your treatment is going to be, and look at the positive side of it.
Lyssa: What would you say to our listeners that are dealing with breast cancer or that have a loved one with Breast Cancer?
Bethany: I mean, I think, it’s similar to what I just said: you kind of have to take any of those positive moments and know that it will end, like the treatment for most people. Maybe not for everybody, but the majority of women. It does get better. It’s very different now even when I was diagnosed, it’s different for when I was diagnosed to now. You know in 9 years, it’s very different. There are so many more medications they can use to combat some of the side effects that you have from other things. I think, you have to look at the bigger picture. I know one of the things I told my oncologist, when I was diagnosed, is I want to see my grandchildren, that I don’t have, graduate from college, like long, long, long-term. So, whatever it is, I need to do, then that’s what I will do. Try to stay positive and just hold on to those little positive moments.
Erzsie: And on the flip side, what would you say to our listeners or readers, who are dealing with breast cancer or have lost a loved one, or give someone who is grieving the loss of a loved one?
Bethany: That’s really hard. My mom has been gone a very long time, and there are days I still miss her. Time helps a lot; time really does help a lot. And, I think the other thing that helps me a lot was knowing I had opportunity. You know, my mom was sick and not for very long. She was sick for about 16 months, but I had the opportunity to say things and do things that were important, and that doesn’t happen when people die instantly, or die from a heart attack, or car accident, or things like that. So, there are still positives to take from that, and grieving is just hard: everybody does it in their own time. You know, I know some of my siblings had a harder time than I did, and I just think, it’s very individual. And, there really is no way of knowing how you’re going to feel or get through it, and that’s probably not super positive, and I’d like to say something positive, but it is really individual. You know, you just have to - you have to - deal with it the way you need to deal with it.
Lyssa: Is there anything you’d like to add?
Bethany: I guess I’d like to add that I am a very positive person overall, and I think - and it’s not just breast cancer. If you’re going through something very difficult, whether it be a health issue, or a mental health issue, or just something really difficult in your life, try and do something positive – even it’s not. Maybe do something positive for somebody else. You know, it could be as little as buying the person in front of you, coffee. It can be even something even more basic. I really appreciate when I have 3 bags of something, and someone holds the door for me. Kindness goes a long way, and a smile goes a long way, and I think in the midst of everything, sometimes we forget little things like that.
Lyssa: Yes!
Erzsie: Definitely
Lyssa: I agree.
Bethany: Thank you very, very much for letting me talk about Remember Betty. Any opportunity I have, I usually take it. So, I appreciate it ,and I appreciate you guys for letting me do this!
Lyssa: It is our pleasure!
Erzsie: Yeah, definitely
Lyssa: Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy day. We really appreciate it!
