The Redemption of a Pornstar April 2015

april 2015 Volume 3 | number 3

CAN POLYAMORY WORK FOR YOU? pg16

After Infidelity: Make up or Break up sEX ADDiCTiON

by Ainsley Burrows

Redemption of a PORN STAR

Mr. Marcus in his own words...

Spring Sex Toy Look Book APRIL 2015 $4.95

UpscaleDesires.com

The

Contents IN THE PAGES

12 Instagram Hottie never before have you seen the beauty of our april Hottie. She will heat up your spring.

April 2015

His fall from grace has been devastating, but his come up is making him stronger than ever…here is his story

12 Spring Sex Toy Look Book editor-in-Chief nikeema Lee pulls a few of her favorite Spring Sex Toy trends.

15 Ten ways you know you’re in a passionless relationship Creating a passionate marriage or relationship is serious business. Follow Dr. nicastro to help couples create greater passion and intimacy.

34 After Infidelity: Make up or Break up an infidelity is a betrayal, a loss of trust. it is lying or disloyalty to one’s partner or lover.

CAN YOU FORGIVE HIM?

20

PLUS + Spring SUPER Detox Foods

7

27

Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 5

Notes from the Editor April 2015 Volume 3 | Number 3

CAN POLOGAMY WORK FOR YOU? pg16

KeeMa QUoTes After Infidelity: Make up or Break up SEX ADDICTION

by Ainsley Burrows

Redemption of a PORN STAR

Mr. Marcus in his own words...

Spring Sex Toy Look Book APRIL 2015 $4.95

UpscaleDesires.com

The

Founder & Publisher Nikeema Lee Publishing Editor in Chief Nikeema Lee, MS. info@nikeemalee.com yoni Health Editor Angela Baker, MS info@upscaledesires.com Food Editor Chef Irvin J. Williams info@upscaledesires.com Art Director Upscale Desires Design, desiresdesignonline@gmail.com

Photographer Ron Huntley, 7545design@gmail.com

F

orgiveness is the foundation for love.

When we look over the mistakes that we have made over our lives, we can’t begin to point the finger at others. We all sin. No sin is greater than the other. We all do it.

However when your in the public eye, your sins tend to be greater as well more known.

This month we highlight the idea that forgiveness is

sales Office Nikeema Lee info@upscaledesires.com (973) 531-7545 All rights reserved. Without reserving the rights under copyright, reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, or any other means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

Distribution of this magazine, in whole or in part, is forbidden. Such action is illegal and in violation of the U.S. Copyright Law.

6 • Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com

possible. Mr. Marcus, the face of porn, made a mistake 3 years ago and its has cost him just about everything. Can we, his fans and friends, ever forgive him?

Read in his words how he now seeks redemption for his transgressions.

Whether you forgive your partner for cheating or a man for rape, its a soul searching processes.

Ainsley Burrows allows us to escape into his world of Sex

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Mahatma Gandhi Addiction, a follow up to his book BANG, BANG BANG. Be sure to check the reading room for a least hot read as you find detoxing tips to a healthier spring.

UPSCALE READING & LEARNING Little Miss Somebody:

by Christy Lynn Abram

RIVETING, MOVING, POWERFUL From the opening line, I was hooked into Nikki’s life. A life marred by pain.

A pain so great only death can cure it.

One chapter and I was in tears. I saw myself in the pages of a this new work inspired by a true story.

Little Miss Somebody is a soul stirring novel and needs to be shared.

Contributors

Is it easy to forgive?

Dr. Richard Nicastro

CIDNEY GREEN

Counselor

Liberator

Therapist

Master

Richard Nicastro, Ph.D. is a psychologist and a marriage/ couples counselor in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

He is passionate about helping couples create deep emotional connections and believes that healthy relationships give meaning and fulfillment to our lives. Check out: Sex, Passion & Intimacy: Keep the Fires of Passion Burning

The Polygamous Blogger, Cidney Green began as Ms. Overly Inhibited and blossomed into Ms. Total. Her being emanates sexual freedom, audacious, selfexpression, along with sheer beauty and creativity. What originated as two blogs inadvertently grew into a thriving liberation movement that continues to flourish. Now fifteen blogs strong (and counting), her demand and popularity grows by the post.

Vondria is the Co-founder and Spa Director for New Day Mobile Spa & Wellness with younger sister Kendra. She is a nationally certified massage therapist and runs her own holistic health coaching practice in Columbia, Maryland. Vondria received training from The Institute for Integrative Nutrition as a Certified Holistic Health Coach and is accredited by The American Association of Drugless Practitioners.

Founder of The Organic Method of Dating & Relationship Master. The Organic Method is a fun way for singles to learn how to meet each other easily and effortlessly while they’re living their life, and going about their day. www.theOrganic MethodofDating. com

http://www.strengthenyourrelationship.com

@RelationshipAid

@BuddhistBeauty

VONDRIA WALTERS

MICHAEL SANTONATO

@organicdating

@NewDayMobileSpa Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 7

Event Calender APRIL April Fools

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FiRST DESiRES

A MESSAGE FOR LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE EVER

LAY IT DOWN a poem by Vondria Walters

Here I Thought we could lay down the pain tonight.

Fuck away our flashbacks to a land not too far off in the distance Mounting my frame, with no intentions of keeping these images safe, You’ve implanted in my safe Lying exposed by your pleasure, paralyzed by my shame But there’s something ‘bout the stank ass’ness of anger & aggression between the sheets and in the air, the makings of a “real good fuck!”

So we went ahead and left that ol’ “badge of honor” out back with the rest of them, cause around these parts, we got nothing but painful pussies pulsating.

And low and behold, festering in feces of pain emerges that “real live” mother fucker.

Felt from the bellows of womb of Great, Great, Great Grandma... visions of her screams run rampant through my core.

Only to show up again in my addictions.

Randomly... I remember kneeling in a heavenly surrender Then the squatting, the pushing out babies, my seat of creation, creating civilizations, majestically, so masterful...

Massa had to get his cup full of sum of dat “bubbling brown suga”.

He’d laugh it off, then snatched it up in a twinkle Surprised like a peek-a-boo played in broad daylight That sadistic fuck let it be known...

Play time got knocked out the park a long time ago, Still I seek refuge in eyes that look a lot like mine, my body lays limp, through swollen eyelids, I cry.

All while playing connect-the-dots in the heavenly sky.

Over stretched out legs trace the horizon, with each forceful trust, whaling out the cries for freedom.

Followed by a, “shut da fuck up”, “you better not tell nobody” muffled whispers coming from the back room, Often haunted by echoes of garbled screams I presume.

But it’s me that seeks the forgiveness tonight.

So, Fuck me Senseless ... heal the scars etched within the crevasses of my walls.

Feed my sorrows, mother fuck all my tomorrows, with every deep thrust give me life, full of fury.

Give me something I can feel, without guilt, without jury.

Pierce my soul, numb me if you will...

Cause, for these next 12 minutes “Daddy”, I don’t want to feel!

Neglected by love, complete humiliation Leave me with honor my seat of creation!

Lost in a love, not serving the depths of my existence.

I sacrifice my soul, with penetration, comes resistance.

And as delicious as it sounds, we fuck for the glory.

This pleasure principle reenacts the same ol’ story.

Trashed vs. being treasured Committing crimes against humanity Repeating the same damn cycle, we create potential, then birth insanity.

Running through the battlefields of my dreams Lay the seeds to forgiveness Battle cries of betrayal, no longer affect my existence.

See opportunities for redemption make this an awkward situation.

I explode, pulled triggers Release agony and the frustration We rise, and we fall but elevate through our conscious.

Embrace a love so raw transform our intentions to be more righteous.

If only for a moment I laid basking in this bliss.

A heart once blooded by a past that no longer exist.

I yearn for redemption with each yelp out I confess, The freedom of forgiveness, so my soul can lay to rest.

But if I must venture solo, stripped raw, bare, chiseled down to the bone Let love radiate in my being, As I reclaim my rightful thrown!

Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 11

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12 • Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com

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To use our massage candle blends simply light the candle and let it melt up to the edges of the canister. Blow it Out, and Pour it On. The melting point of our blends is just a few degrees above body temperature so you can immediately pour the melted candle onto your skin for a warm soothing skin treatment.

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Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 13

renew passion

TEN

Ways Passionless to know you’re in a

Relationship

by Richard Nicastro, Ph.D.

Y

ou and your wife are settled in for the Mary Tyler Moore Show marathon with his and hers bags of microwave popcorn and caffeine-free diet Pepsi. Before Mary even gets in her first, “Oh, Mr. Grant!”, the Passion Police bust down your door and handcuff you both. “You are hereby charged with becoming passive about passion.” Nearly insane with panic (you’re under arrest, after all), you call out to your wife, “Honey, tell them it’s a big mistake. They’ve got the wrong couple!” Your wife makes a similar plea and pledges her undying love for you as evidence of her innocence.

The police captain shakes his head and smirks. “Tell it to the judge. And just for the record, we have evidence that you’ve both neglected this aspect of your relationship for quite a while.”

The next day the judge outlines the case against you. “Mr. and Ms. Icewater, I’ve never seen so many blatant signs of withered passion and romance. Clearly you’ve turned a blind eye to this important part of your relationship. Here are the warning signs–all of which you’ve consistently ignored–of your passion neglect.”

Relationship Rescue

Tips to Consider

Top Ten warning signs you’re in a Passionless Relationship 1. Belching and knuckle-cracking are now acceptable forms of foreplay.

2. Overhearing a conversation about oral sex at the gym reminds you that your annual dental cleaning is overdue.

3. The Poodle you’ve been rubbing for the last twenty minutes turns out to be your husband’s back.

4. According to your wife, the highlight of love-making has become the popping sound your hip makes.

5. The last time your bed squeaked was when the kids used it as a trampoline.

6. Your husband is president of the Marilyn Monroe/Angelina Jolie/Tyra Banks fan clubs.

7. Your wife is president of the George Clooney/Brad Pitt/Johnny Depp fan clubs.

8. The “steamy” email you sent your wife contained the words: sweatpants, antifungal, ace bandage, bloating and fiberrich.

9. You caught your husband eating your edible underwear…out of the box.

10. While giving your wife a Valentine’s Day massage, you replaced the exotic body oil with Pam cooking spray.

The judge turns to you and bellows, “Mr. and Mrs. Icewater, I’m ordering that your marriage be used as an example to others. My hope is that other couples will take notice and start nurturing the passion in their relationship. Just like any other aspect of relationships, romantic intimacy takes work, consistent attention and time.”

Creating a passionate marriage or relationship is serious business. Follow Dr. Nicastro to help couples create greater passion and intimacy.

Dr. Richard Nicastro is a psychologist and marriage/couples counselor in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 15

Intimate Freedom ON THE OTHER HAND This concept may seem a bit foreign and downright crazy to most but many are claiming to be monogamous when they are in fact; not.

Polyamory works?

Polyamory Could it be right for you?

by Cidney Greene

P

olyamory is a word everyone should get acquainted with. It means “many loves” and it refers to the desire or practice of having more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent of all parties involved.

We all know people who have something like this before right? They are with one person yet seeing another. It’s called terms like “cheating” or “creeping”. However, there is one factor missing in set ups like those; honesty. This is the beauty of polyamory.

We poly folks are not to be confused with swingers. There is nothing wrong with swinging at all but poly people like myself prefer much deeper connections; hence “many loves”. There are many poly lovers who swing but most swingers are not poly.

16 • Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com

So many walk around torn and tortured because they cannot chose between two or more people that they adore. The reason the choice is so challenging is because it is not a choice that should be made. One should never have to choose between two things that feel good to them.

Why Not Monogamy Monogamy is one of the many social norms that people just can’t seem to stick to. That is because human beings are not wired that way. We are wired to desire variety, which is why we do. Asking someone to only want one person for life is the equivalent of asking one to only eat fish and fries for all eternity.

While it is not impossible, it surly isn’t fun.

Ready to dig deeper?

We have been brainwashed into thinking that love is finite, that it is not abundant. So therefore we cannot possibly share it! If

we do then the tiny amount of love that we are allow will be taken from us. So we must figure out a way to control the people we love because if we don’t, we will be left unloved.

This flawed thinking is the cause of so much misery heartbreak and pain.

The truth is love is absolutely abundant! You prove this daily as you love all sixteen of your cousins!

The same principal applied here. Love was never designed to be rationed.

Secondly, the idea that love is something that someone has to give you is ludicrous.

You are love itself.

Attempting to control others from a place of lack is a sure way to end up in Miseryville. So do yourself a favor and drop that nasty habit.

Polyamory is more spiritual than anything. It is not just about sex (even though that part is lovely). I have only scratched the surface here but if you will open your heart to the ideas presented here you will save yourself lots of grief, guilt and sorrow. Who knows… you might just save your relationship.

For more information visit. www.totalliberation.us

Reading Room An Emotional Journey Through Love and Lust by Ananse

A beautiful collection of love poems with a mix of erotic flavor which will satisfy your palate leaving you fulfilled with a range of emotions. Immerse yourself within the words and allow your imagination to become one with each story Author Cheverro Ananse Savage is a freelance writer and poet. His latest project is a collection of poems reflecting on the tortured soul of a man.

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

CHASING REDEMPTION...

Mr. Marcus in his own words...

Mr. Marcus is a legendary adult entertainer, director, producer, author and businessman.

The Pomona, Calif., native has appeared in over 1700 films, and has directed nearly 40 movies and also produced a number of titles.

Mr. Marcus has won a host of awards and was inducted into the both the XRCO and AVN Hall of Fame. He has scores of fans spanning the globe. Mr. Marcus is also quite the businessman.

He has a line of sex toys that can be purchased both in stores and on his website. He also wrote a book, “The Porn Star Guide to Great Sex.”

20 • Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com

For a man that seemed to have everything in the adult entertainment world, Mr. Marcus came to a bump in the road in his career when he failed a test for the bacterial infection Syphilis, resulting in him exposing two co-stars. Please note those co-stars never contracted the disease. The backlash; public humiliation to go along with jail time and probation, a lawsuit by one of his co-stars, and being ostracized from the business, Mr. Marcus’ fall from grace has been devastating, but his come-up is making him stronger than ever. Here is his story in his own words…

SUBSCRIBE TO READ MORE www.upscaledesires.com

Upscale Desires Magazine • www.upscaledesires.com • 21