DNI-F Painted with love

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painted with love DISCUSSION

GUIDE

It is God’s promise to you that as you continue to love each other and seek His wisdom in your relationship, He will reveal himself to you in beautiful ways. Cozy up and dive into what God has in store for you through some honest discussion, reflection and prayer. Be sure to have your bible handy. If you don’t have access to one, check out the Bible Gateway app available on your Apple or Android device.

We all have unique strengths and weaknesses. In the the first few months of your relationship together, most of those weaknesses were accepted as endearing through the lense of new love. As time passes, that lense starts to get a little foggy and what was once viewed as sweet or even just tolerable is now a terrible annoyance (We’re sure a few good examples come to mind). An important lesson that we can learn from the Apostle Paul’s teaching is how to practice love in those moments when we feel the tug to act out of selfishness.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthians in effort to explain that seemingly good deeds could be harmful without loving intent. Paul stresses that love is a verb; it is action, not talk! It is very easy to admit our love for each other verbally, but let this passage challenge your daily actions. Let’s walk through each of its characteristics together.

LOVE IS PATIENT If you are in the majority, this is an area that requires maximum effort for you. Patience calls for a deliberate and willful attitude. This demands generous amounts of humility and self control. As you go throughout your day, you may not be aware of just how many opportunities you have to practice patience toward each other.

Can you recall a time when continued patience through a particular circumstance led to positive change in your relationship?

(Complete this sentence) I feel loved when you show patience with me by________________________________________.

LOVE IS KIND Do you seek to meet the needs of your partner without thought of repayment? Are you gentle and forgiving when wronged? Kindness is an aspect of true selfless love that can make a great impact in the life of our loved one.

What prompts you to be kind throughout the day? (To see her smile? When he does something nice first?...)

(Complete this sentence) I feel loved by you when you show kindness to me by___________________________________.

IT DOES NOT ENVY OR BOAST Paul continues on “... love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.” To be envious, boastful and proud is a vicious cycle! We want what others have. We want others to want what we have. We lack satisfaction, and the cycle continues. To be free from this cycle in your relationship will enable you to act in selfless love. You will not be so inclined to dishonor, become self-seeking, easily anger or keep record of wrong.

Identify one or two idols in your life that might pull you into this cycle (money, career, status…)

(Complete this sentence) I feel loved by you when you show selflessness to me by________________________________.

IT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH “...it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” We rejoice in truth when we see our loved one act in accordance with God’s truth. In the same way, we grieve when they fall into sin, just as God grieves over our sin and rejoices in our repentance. Loving someone in their sin does not mean to turn a blind eye. It can be difficult to confront sin, but to protect, trust, hope and persevere is to look sinful struggles dead in the face and conquer them with tenderness and love together.

Can you recall a time when a harmful decision caused you to challenge or be challenged by your partner?

(Complete this sentence) I feel loved by you when you tenderly challenge me by__________________________________.

Prayer and Reflection

Take a few minutes to discuss what is on your heart. In what areas are you struggling to show love? What idols can you take off their pedestal that are keeping you in the vicious cycle of envy and pride? Are you having a hard time confronting sin in your relationship?

Reflect on the answers to your discussion questions, acknowledging the growth that you have experienced together.

Close out your discussion with a time of prayer. If you’re not sure where to start; pray these words:

Dear Lord , thank You for being a loving, gracious God. Thank You

for showering us with forgiveness and the gift of new life through Your son.

We pray that You would remind us daily that love is action. Remind us that nothing is more important than intentionally loving one another. Challenge our hearts to deny their selfish desires and lift each other up in love.

Ame n.