Nexus Issue 11, 2013

ISSUE 10, VOLUME 45

20 MAY 2013

Jess talks tron music matt talks contact fm and greg and bevan kinda just talk

NEXUS VS NEW ZEALAND MUSIC MONTH

IT’S YOUR FUTURE – ADD YOUR PAPERS FOR B SEMESTER NOW

Current students, add your 2013 B Semester papers now. Or, if you’re looking to further enhance your career options and start a postgraduate qualification, talk to your Faculty today.

To add papers visit iWaikato or for more information about enrolment for B Semester, drop into the Student Centre.

There’s no stopping you E kore e taea te aukati i a koe

0800 WAIKATO | waikato.ac.nz

contents

issue 11 / VOLUME 45 / 20 MAY / 2013

elcom sue El

Editorial Team Editor Alix Higby editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Deputy Editors Louise Hutt & Jess Edmonds-Saunders louise@nexusmag.co.nz jess@nexusmag.co.nz News Editor zanian steele news@nexusmag.co.nz Online Editor Alix Higby online@nexusmag.co.nz

Graphic Designer Haylie Gray design@nexusmag.co.nz

Managing Editor James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

Advertising Advertising Manager Tony Arkell ads@nexusmag.co.nz

Contributors C-Ball, Kathlene Cook, Daniel Petersen, Matt Hicks, Morgahna Godwin, HP, Danyell Summers, Dr Richard Swainson, Dr Burton C Bogan, Jess Molina, Caitlin Ashworth, Kelsey Weld, Kylie Zinsli, Gil Denny, Amber, Nathan Sweetman, Josiah Warbrick, Ali Brady, Declan Spooner-Knight, Ashley Carmicheal, Kelly Brock, Lauren Barnard, Marianne Coleman, Greg Stack, Bevan Nichols, Grace King and Aaron Letcher

Print Fusion Print

Nexus Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). The views expressed in this publication are not necessarily the views of Nexus magazine, the WSU, Printers, the editor or any of our advertisers.

Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusmagNZ @waikatostudents

News

[3] News.

[5] University news.

[6] Sports thoughts.

[7] Left vs Right.

[8] Not News.

Opinion

[10] Third Degree + Guest Rant [11] Random Profile Top 10.

[12] Lettuce to the Editor.

Entertainment and Reviews

[14] Film, Gig & CafĂŠ review.

Horoscopes [15] Book, Comic & Album review.

Horoscopes [16] @Honest_Matt Meets...

Gig Guide.

[17] Eight Ball.

Cool Not Cool.

[18] Puzzles [19] X - Faculty [20] Feature - An Ode to the Hamilton Music Scene [22] Feature - @Honest Matt Muses about the Future of Student Radio [24] Feature - Static Future

Lifestyle

[26] Autuer + From the Vault [27] Crime Map + Auditor [28] Mr Minty Fish + Slut DJ [29] Alternative Mondays + Almost Grown Up [30] Little Beer Corner + Boganology 101 [31] President’s Column.

Veeps.

[32] Alice & Anne+ Slightly Stoned Chef [33] Arts

WSU

[34] Waikato Rugby Union [36] Ask Amber + Citizens Advice Bureau [37] Was This You?

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Editorial

Editorial

Highlight Reel

By Alix Higby

this week in nexus // Pg: 20

Music is omnipotent.

This week we tackle NZ Music Month.

Considering my only talent is being a bitch, and my knowledge of the intricacies of the music scene is below par, we left it to Jess, Greg, and Matt to highlight a few local aspects. I’ll just wax poetic about my limited surface experiences within the genre, instead.

Without the Laguna Beach luxuries of backyard pools or three storey beach houses to distract me from the confusion of adolescence, I threw my more grounded 15-year-old head into music. Not in a creative way, but

Music is more than carefully selected notes and sounds. It’s more than heavy production or bare, raw talent. It also works at the shallowest level alongside Starbucks and “lifestyle brands” and melds society into neat pockets of people. Music drives the way we feel and the flow on effects precipitate as identity. Take any first year communications paper and this common sense will be explained to you in “greater depth”.

Just remember that it’s what you do, what you listen to at home on a “private” Spotify session, or sing along to alone in your car, that really shows who you are. You shouldn’t be

“If you fake fangirl certain music just to be cool, you’ll only end up with friends who will never understand you. Truth.” in an “If I decide what kind of music I like, maybe I’ll figure life out” kind of way.

In that convoluted period of my life, I felt like I’d listened to everything at least once. But several low-scoring pub quiz music rounds later, I know that’s not the case. Nevertheless, it’s interesting to note how much we look to music to shape us. It’s possible that you were once an Emo loitering in Garden Place swaying to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus in the late 2000s. It’s okay, we won’t judge (we totally will). Music is an identifier, and the tracks we play quickly slot us into social categories.

There’s a moment, when you volunteer your iPod to the speakers at a party and the last playlist you were listening to bannerscrolls through your head and you panic. Is Fleetwood Mac more Sunday afternoon than Saturday night? Will your guilty pleasure Demi Lovato make an unexpected appearance? If I play some light screamo will people assume I have a penchant for violence? The risk! The absolute social risk.

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afraid to own it. If you can’t stop cranking the Nicki Minaj, shit, it’s okay. People have done worse things (like produce Nicki Minaj) and you needn’t hide the bizarre crap that makes you happy. People will judge you, but what Sally says of Susie says more of Sally than of Susie, right?

Molina Jess breaks down the local music scene, and talks stars and up and comers.

@

// Pg: 22

Honest Matt Hicks Muses About Honest Matt decides he can fix Student

Radio. Yeah, that’s right, we have a Student the Future Radio Station. Mind. Blown

// Pg: 24 of STUDENT

RADIO Stack Greg and Bevan write a feature together, almost. // Pg: 03

If you fake fangirl certain music just to be cool, you’ll only end up with friends who will never understand you. Truth.

News

My name is Alix, and I love Katy Perry. Take your best shot, Sally.

Budget 2013: Look who’s screwing students now.

Alix

// Pg: 06

Sports Thoughts C-Ball Vs Football.... It never ends well.

NEWS

NEWS

“Black Jack Budget” 2013: More or less what was expected Finance Minister Bill English says the Government’s books are in ‘good shape’ shortly after the announcement of the 2013 budget last week. The country is set to be in surplus in two years and the government has announced also announced $900 million in new spending. Housing which is a

interest free students loans policy.

key features of this budget, is set to receive increased funding with an additional focus on the quality of rental properties with the government looking to set up a warrant of fitness style test for rental houses. This policy will assess the warmth and health and safety quality of the nation’s 69,000 homes and serve as a potential model for use in the private housing market; it was also revealed that Meridian energy will be the next SOE up for sale under the mixed ownership model.

later stated that it was good to see National finally addressing some of the poverty and housing issues in the country.

Leader of the opposition David Shearer left no one in doubt of his feels on the budget labeling it a “Black jack budget, where Bill English has stacked the budget against ordinary New Zealanders.” Mr Shearer

Budget Restrictions a Cop Out? Hamilton West residents are concerned by the Police’s decision to restrict public access to officers and dismantle the well regarded community policing program.

After a Waikato wide crime reporting line was established earlier in the year, the police have now stopped providing ‘over the counter service’ to the general public at community policing centres, instead requiring them to book a meeting in advance.

Many in the community feel that the restriction of public access to Officers is a step backwards. Frankton Primary principle Judy Dixon criticized the move, claiming that it denied the community a voice, “Policing on the ground in the community means that police have their ears to things that are happening and can be proactive rather than reactive”.

Despite heavy criticism the Area Commander for Hamilton is supportive of the policy “What this means is that instead of having to come up to a station and ask to speak to a certain officer or individual, members of the public can phone and their call will be directed either to the appropriate person or through to the CRL where an auditable trail is created.”

The restriction of access to front linen staff is part of widespread staffing changes to the police force due to budget restrictions which has already seen the reorganization of much of the regions officers.

There is also an increased focus on poverty prevention with $21 million being set aside to tackle rheumatic fever, $100 million for the insulation of low income homes and $1.5 million for budgeting services.

Additionally, there will be cuts ACC levies for businesses and no payments to be made to the NZ super during this term. Along with the expected pledge to invest more in the redeveloping of Christchurch, there were reductions to student allowances for mature students, though no changes have been made to the current structure of the

The same sentiment was echoed by Labour Social Development spokesperson Jacinda Ardern who supported the moves to address the housing crisis but stated “more needs to be done. We need a [real] plan”.

With a focus on returning to surplus and decreasing government debt to 20% of GDP, this budget is more or less what was expected by political commentators, but with the decision not to contribute to the NZ super in favour of debt reduction has been heavily criticized since it is projected that superannuation costs alone will exceed the budget for education in the next two years.

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NEWS

Government Makes It Rain While Hungry Kids just get rained on.

The 2013 budget threw significant money into Education. Just not into your education. If you were doing NCEA level two they had great news for you, if you were an early childhood teacher, or in the ECE system which desperately needed more funding and reform, then you were equally lucky. However if you were a starving seven year old kid from Nawton, or Crawshaw or Frankton then it probably wasn’t the news you were hoping for.

In delivering his fifth budget Deputy Prime Minister Bill English left out funding for the Labour and Greens initiative aimed at giving free school lunches to all primary schools.

The Government has however furthered it’s plans for establishing Charter schools putting aside 19 milion for further development.

Last year it was reported by Nexus that Charter school applications were being sought, and at the time they were thought to include religious and ideological institutions such as Destiny Church.

The restriction of access to front linen staff is part of widespread staffing changes to the police force due to budget restrictions which has already seen the reorganization of much of the regions officers.

Gather your degrees while ye may.

Government thinking backwards. The days of a person having one career path their entire lives have gone. We live in a constantly evolving world, where people must adapt. Restricting student allowances to those over the age of 40 is completely contradictory to this and a huge step backwards

“It’s disappointing to see the government is throwing up more roadblocks to tertiary Education based on age and income availability. I guess they believe those in the golden generation don’t deserve the brighter future they have been promising?”

Said Waikato Students’ Union President Aaron Letcher when asked about last weeks changes to the student loan scheme.

These changes mean that the Government want you to study young and choose a qualification that is compatible with the labour market in the long term. The cuts

Last week’s budget announced a wide range of cuts to Student Allowance. Those over 40 will only be eligible for 120 weeks’ worth of the allowance whilst over 65’s will not be able to receive any government assistance.

The interest free student loan will still be available but there are fears that many over 40’s looking to reskill, especially when out of employment will be left without the opportunity.

Waikato Regional Young Labour Organizer Jadeine McLeod stated that “the cuts to student allowances in this budget are just another example of the National

4

“‘I guess they believe those in the golden generation don’t deserve the brighter future they have been promising?’” in the budget along with the reduction in post grad allowances indicate that for this government university is less about general education and academic development but about the acquisition of labour market skills.

Border Security Shows To Become Way More Interesting.

One of the major changes to the Student Loan Scheme announced today was the enforcement measures for people who had let their loan lapse or just flat out refused to pay it while overseas.

The proposed changes include an extension of the existing power of arrest for those who have defaulted on child support payments upon trying to re-enter the country. Other measures being undertaken include fixed repayment schedules and a higher repayment schedule for those living overseas.

According to Minister Stephen Joyce these changes will only affect a small minority of those with student loans.

“It would only be for the people who are deliberately defaulting and refusing take any notice.

“We are talking about people that have been contacted by IRD and are refusing to act and then effectively deliberately defaulting.”

The changes are expected to be implemented early next year.

NEWS NEWS

UNI NEWS

SCHOLARSHIP DROP-IN SESSIONS Looking for advice on scholarships? The University of Waikato Scholarships Office is holding a series of scholarship drop-in sessions for all students and staff. The sessions will be held every Tuesday and Thursday from 12.30–2.30pm in the Student Centre, room 2.31 (next to the Student Administration desk).

A SEMESTER EXAMS The 2013 A Semester Examination Timetable is now available online – please check your exam timetable carefully. timetable.waikato.ac.nz/exams/ If you have a learning or physical disability, you may apply for special arrangements.

Applications must be in before Friday 17 May 2013.

IT’S YOUR FUTURE Current students, add your 2013 B Semester papers now.

Or, if you’re looking to further enhance your career options and start a postgraduate qualification, talk to your Faculty today.

To add papers visit iWaikato, or for more information about enrolment for B Semester, drop into the Student Centre.

For more information email exams@waikato. ac.nz or phone 07 838 4466 extn 8018.

RHODES SCHOLARSHIP SEMINAR A seminar on the prestigious Rhodes Scholarship, for masters or doctoral study at the University of Oxford, will be held on Wednesday 22 May from 1–2pm in S.1.02.

A former Rhodes Scholarship winner will be there to talk about the Scholarship and the Oxford experience, and to answer questions.

For more information contact Gwenda Pennington in the Scholarships Office at gwenda@waikato.ac.nz, or visit www.universitiesnz.ac.nz

PUBLIC LECTURE Soil microbes could help us overcome problems caused by human acceleration of the nitrogen cycle by returning excess nitrogen to the atmosphere as a gas. That’s according to Professor Louis Schipper, who will discuss this at his Inaugural Professorial Lecture this week.

6–7pm, Tuesday 21 May, Gallagher Academy of Performing Arts. Opus Bar open from 5pm.

5 A

NEWS

SPORTS THOUGHTS

Gone Too Soon

AT MAN CITY – MERCY IS FOR THE WEAK (AND SMART)

Brian Clough 44 Days Cloughie was so good he went on to win the European Cup with Nottingham Forest but it was a strange move when he left Derby for arch rivals and league Champs Leeds United.

He wanted to change everything, the players had a different idea and he was fired. It was so strange it inspired a book and a movie “The Damned United”.

I understand gay marriage has just been legalised in New Zealand, but that certainly isn’t an excuse for Manchester City to be acting like a bundle of sticks.

If you haven’t heard, the less important and far less successful half of Manchester football shit canned their manager Robert Mancini recently, ironic since fans were just celebrating it being a little over a year

or coach, showing them some goddamn respect, and having the foresight and brain of anything more than sea amoeba to know your employee rarely achieves results straight away, and in order for your team to experience consistent success, they need a successful formula - consistency.

The fact that Manchester City threw Mancini in the bin but a year after he led

“Last year C-Ball told Man City to suck his balls. We are pretty sure he stands by that today.” since he led his bunch of ungrateful overpaid bitches to an English Premier League title, their first trophy in 35 years.

There are a lot of things I hate in this world, but Manchester City fans that don’t even live in Manchester take the cake. They’re easily one of the fakest bunches of fans in the world, usually motivated to support their extremely cashed up team because United is too awesome and too rich and just too fucking good. While most of what they say is hard to hear over the sound of gargling hypocritically on scrote, Manchester City fans make one very good point. United is too good.

And they have proved that in a way every sports franchise should hope to achieve. It doesn’t even involve what happens on the field. It’s all about backing your manager 6

the biggest trend in world football to an EPL title proves they are a joke. You can expect novice moves like that from shitty clubs in shitty sports with no money. Even Ricky Herbert got how many years to repeatedly fly himself into the Phoenix’s trade towers.

But as for Mancini, he became manager in 2009 and was only in charge four years.

He took City to a title in his third. Talk about diminishing returns! Even Cobra Kai sensai John Kresse would’ve had mercy on Mancini for gaining no silverware this year.

Moral of the story is United is boss. City sucks, and football in general does too.

Someone does nothing every few minutes, until the long and painfully boring game probably ends in a stalemate.

John Mitchell 22 Wins, 82% Winning Record Ok so we get that if you lose a World Cup semi you get fired. After all we had won the thing in 1987 so it was a holly birthright and anyone who didn’t win had underperformed. Except the next guy lost to France too, kept his job...

Champions of the World!

Tony Iro 2 games with the Warriors zero wins Just kidding Tony Iro was an embarrassment as a coach and still had the stink of Kemp all over him. Hell of a player for Manly though.

vs

Left

Left vs Right THIS WEEK’S TOPIC:

The governments “Sky City Deal”

NEWS

We all know that John Key and the National Government have a soft spot where SkyCity is concerned. However, the announcement of what is essentially a dodgy back room deal is just too far.

National has announced that a $402 million SkyCity convention centre will be constructed by 2017. Provisions that heavily favour SkyCity will accompany this.

Over 230 pokie machines will be installed, twelve automated gaming tables will be added, the casino’s licence will be extended to 2048, and 52 new gambling tables will be added, along with the implementation of “cashless technology” whereby patrons will not be able to physically see the money they’re gambling.

Lastly, executives from SkyCity attempted to rationalise the move and blamed Labour and the Greens for this action, stating that the NZ Power policy “spooked” Business NZ. They failed to answer why or how this was relevant to their deal. All those involved know this deal serves one sector of society, and now they’re scrambling to justify it.

The National government: selling our assets, selling our laws.

RIGHT

The biggest issue is a direct attack on democracy. Any law change by future governments against these provisions will allow compensation of $11.5 million per year until the contract ends in 2048. Thirtyfive years. To put that in perspective, should the laws be changed in 2017, a payout of $367 million would be owed to SkyCity. This deal is setting a dangerous precedent for potential future deals; allowing compensation for law changes is selling our laws off.

it, along with 800 positions when the centre is operational. But since when have National’s job promises ever come to fruition? National has also stated that the centre will bring in $90 million per year, but have provided little evidence that these figures are correct. In any event, the wider costs to society far outweigh any economic gain. Metiria Turei stated that “there are real and measurable costs associated with increased gambling, which include more crime, child abuse, mental illness, family breakups, hospital admissions and suicide.” This is a shabby deal where SkyCity will make millions by exploiting problem gamblers.

National has argued that the convention centre will create 1000 jobs in constructing

A free convention centre, $90 million in revenue per annum and 800 new jobs: what’s not to like? I thought the Left were keen to create jobs!

The SkyCity deal has its drawbacks, let’s not lie; gambling is a problem in NZ, but the benefits of this policy far outweigh the harms. Even if the Greens’ claim that every ten pokies create 8 new problem gamblers is true, it is equally true that a $408 million dollar convention centre which will generate vast revenues is an adequate compensation for any problems that may arise. We already have robust programs to deal with problem gambling, and the huge number of employment opportunities that this deal generates have the ability to change lives for the better, putting hard-working New Zealanders back in employment whilst still allowing us to rehabilitate and care for our vulnerable problem gamblers.

Not only is there a long term revenue source created by the centre, but a further 1,000 jobs will be created for

the construction, benefiting many subcontractors who are still out of pocket due to the collapse of Mainzeal. There will also be a boost in tourism, with an expected influx of 20,000 international visitors who will use this facility each year, along with a host of international conferences that will bring skill, culture, and new economic opportunities for our country.

The Left will argue that this proposal is both immoral and harmful in practice; the reality, however, is that this is not a moral argument but a practical one. Gambling already exists, it has a strong tradition in New Zealand, and the addition of 230 new pokies or a few new card tables will not change the moral implications of gambling.

The Government is equally not endorsing increased gambling; rather, it is acting in a third party capacity to facilitate a publicprivate partnership that will lead to more jobs and more cash.

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NEWS

NOT NEWS

that shiny new Wendys across the street.

Bigger Pak ‘n Save on the way The $16 million upgrade of Pak ‘n Save Clarence St has passed the halfway mark.

How the fuck is “we are halfway through something” news? We get ” we are going to build” or “we have built”, but halfway mark?

Coromandel pilot loses licence over logbook lies “Guy who lied at work suffers consequences.” NOT NEWS

Quitting Smoking?

Hit A Cop At least that was Etta Lopez’ logic, who claimed she slapped an American police officer in the hope of getting thrown in jail so she would quit smoking. It is clear that Ms Lopez has never seen any prison movie ever, because there are only slightly fewer smokers in prison than the five crossroads TAB. Besides, this isn’t Police Ten 7, you slap a cop in New Zealand you may get a night in jail; you slap a cop in the States and it’s all “I didn’t know the safety was off” and “I could have sworn that handbag was a gun.”

There She Blows Among reasons for divorce you might find adultery, or simply wanting different things.

What you you seldom see is “my husband shot me in the mouth with a harpoon.”

Well, watch this space. It seems a 28 year old woman in Rio may be filing for this shortly after her husband did just that. A detective said that he refused to release the woman’s name because it was unclear if it was an accident or intentional at this time.

Apparently the injury was made worse because on three occasions she refused to spit out the harpoon, because even though she was shot somebody raised her right and told her to swallow not spit.

Money to fight poverty Hasn’t money always fought poverty? It’s kind of how that works.

Asthma sufferers may struggle with learning

Irony is awesome Okay normally most people would agree that a guy getting hospitalised after being run over by a car isn’t funny. Unless of course you substitute car with fire truck and guy with “Guy in Fire Safety Bear Costume.” That scene unfolded during the UK’s fire safety festival where shortly after Justin Matthews, dressed as a fire safety bear, spoke to the kids, he was hit by a fire truck. Most on the scene wouldn’t comment except for an unusually vocal Ruben the Road Safety Bear who said “I told the motherfucker to look both ways. No one ever listens to Ruben.”

W.T.F? Waikato Times Focus: chronicling the last days of newsprint.

A few headlines appeared in the Waikato Times that made us ask some questions this week:

Principals say four new Hamilton schools unnecessary Which is kind of like asking Burger King and McDonalds owners if we really need 8

Should read “Asthma sufferers may struggle with breathing.” Anything else is stupid.

Don’t believe us? Ask the Waikato Times who say as much in the first sentence, making you feel like a jackass for reading it.

“Research has shown children with asthma are more likely to struggle with reading than those without, but a local expert says asthma should not be a barrier to learning.”

Our favourite one for the week was this one though;

‘I couldn’t count past 8’: a reporter’s shocking reaction to Kryptonite Which starts with a video clip of the reporter on Kryptonite counting all 9 steps twice as he walks them for the cops: (http://www.stuff.co.nz/waikato-times/ news/8672613/I-couldn-t-count-past-8-areporters-shocking-reaction-to-Kryptonite).

NEWS

THIS WEEK ON TWITTER...

MEME OF THE WEEK

“Fruits are single-handedly keeping the sticker industry afloat.” @kumailn “Just won a Nobel Prize for untangling a pair of Apple earbuds.” @prodigalsam “A good way to meet a lot of cops is to put a “Baby On Board” sticker on a picnic basket tied to a motorcycle.” @rolldiggity “Pretty cool how Ryan Gosling’s dad was Ryan Goose.” @prodigalsam “Cleavage is like the Sun, you can glance at it for only a second, but if you wear sunglasses, you can look much longer.” @AlexandraBascom “Poking holes in your parents condoms so there’s someone else to do the dishes” @WillMckenzieNot “Heading home early on a Friday to enjoy some quality wifi time” @andylassner “mess with me and I will staright-up yank the drawstring out of your hoodie” @IamEnidColeslaw “If you trip over in public, a cool thing to do is break into a jog, leave the country, have plastic surgery and change your name.” @sixthformpoet “baby i put the STD in stud now all i need is u” @theycallmehcat “i hate when people call their grandparents weird names instead of grandma and grandpa like babooshka or salami” @chanelsprinkles “It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full. There is clearly room for more alcohol.” @AlexandraBascom “When dancing and multiple girls yell “this is my song!” they should have to fight to the death to see whose it really is.” @michelleisawolf “Reese Witherspoon was arrested Friday night. If some rag doesn’t use “REESE IS FALLING TO PIECES” as a headline then this world is bullshit.” @robfee

trivial facts

located at the left shoulder of the constellation Orion and is the largest known star in our galaxy.

Monks in the 16th century recorded seeing a giant explosion on the side of the Moon.

It most likely was a large meteor that slammed into the Moon and left a large crater. It was a good thing the Moon was between us and the meteor!

Not all stars are found inside galaxies.

Astronomers have found stars moving between the galaxies, which are millions of light years apart. These stars may even have planets, possibly with intelligent life on them. If they do, these beings would see a lonely sky with just one star (its own sun) and a few faint galaxies.

See the rings of Saturn while you can.

They slowly wobble up and down over the years as Saturns poles point away from then towards the sun. The rings disappear when edge on to our line of sight. Currently they are almost at their widest point and can be seen even in binoculars and small telescopes.

The Hubble Telescope has photographed pictures of auroras on Jupiter and Saturn very much like those at our North and South Poles. But if we had auroras as big as these, they would cover the entire Earth and more.

Stars viewed through even the largest telescopes look like tiny points of light.

But astronomers, using the Hubble Space Telescope to photograph a star called Betelgeuse (pronounced “beetle jooze”), have now been able to see the surface of another star. Betelgeuse is a red, giant star

After a blistering day of exploring, astronauts may relax with a nice cold glass of ice water from Mercury, the planet closest to the sun. Since there is no atmosphere there to spread the heat around, shadows in deep craters at the poles could hold ice deposited by early comet collisions.

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oPINION

THIRD DEGREE GUEST RANT Questions

Young Workers Get Raw Deal.

01_ You can only attend one more concert before you die. What would it be?

02_ If you could re-unite any band (living or dead), which would you choose?

03_

You must audition for either X-Factor or NZ’s got talent.

Pick one.

Josh 19, Science Tech.

01_ Bullet for my Valentine.

02_ The Bee Gees.

03_ NZ’s Got Talent (I can’t sing)

Labour opposed this Bill. The Government should be focusing on tackling the negative effects of high youth unemployment. Instead, they continue to reinforce the message to young people that their opportunities are better across the ditch in Australia. Cuts to student loans and allowances during some very tough times is not the type of leadership required if the Government is serious about a highly educated, productive economy. It’s a sign of a Government who want a low skilled, low wage economy.

The Government’s actions contradict Ministry of Education warnings that youth rates will adversely affect goals such as increasing the proportion of students attaining NCEA level 2 at school, and also the proportion of the population with at least level 4 qualifications aged between 25 and 34.

Caitlin 19, Science

01_ Bon Jovi.

02_ Definitely Paramore.

03_ NZ’s Got Talent.

If the Government thinks that cutting wages will create jobs, they are seriously deluded and need to take a reality check. The Bill will create an underclass of young workers and marginalise their opportunities if these workers become locked into a cycle of low wage, low skill employment pathways.

Amanda 20, Science Tech

01_ Big Day Out - you get heaps of shows in one.

02_ Nirvana.

03_ X-Factor.

10

The latest move to pay young workers less than the minimum wage reinforces how little the Government values young people and the work that they do to earn a living or support their study costs. New Minister Simon Bridges is responsible for those changes, with little regard to how the starting-out wage will affect working students - it’s just a kick in the guts.

Labour will continue to oppose these changes, because we have confidence in the abilities and talents of all workers. We will build an economy that provides decent, secure jobs and incomes where young people have hope and opportunity.

The starting out wage is an epic fail for young people: make sure they know your views on the matter!

Nania Mahuta

OPINION

RANDOM PROFILE

TOP TEN Top Ten things you should know about Smokefree Rockquest.

Margaret Dobson

What’s your role at the University of Waikato?

Disability Coordinator - Our service provides support for students with disability to enable them to participate equitably at University What’s your favourite part of your job? working with students If you could live on the moon, would you move there or stay on Earth? definitely an earthling What are you having for lunch today? feijoas If you could pick any reality show to be on, which one would it be, and why? would rather poke a stick in my eye but at a push Total Drama World Tour Coffee or tea? yes both each day Who should be the next Prime Minister, Jason Gunn or Jim Hickey? reconsidering my move to the moon What was your favourite cartoon growing up? road runner

10_

Christchurch radio station C93FM organised the first Rockquest back in 1988.

If you weren’t working for the University of Waikato, what would you like to be doing instead?

If you had to live without your car or your microwave, which would you choose? definitely need my car Because it’s New Zealand Music Month, who is your favourite New Zealand band/musician? gotta be a plug here for Bring back Jessie Matthews If you could witness any event past, present or future, what would it be?

World peace

09_ It wasn’t until 1991 that it became the ‘Smokefree’ Rockquest.

08_ Bic Runga was signed to Pagan Records directly after her national final performance in the 1993 Rockquest.

07_ The same happened to Anika Moa after her 1998 performance.

06_ New Zealand musicians who have gone on to national and international success after being in Rockquest include Ladyhawke, Kids of 88, The Feelers, The Black Seeds, The Naked & Famous and of course, Kimbra.

05_ 1989 winners Outer Control and

Odd socks or matching? matching, ironed and folded

1990 winners De Funk Express went on to form Op Shop.

What do you think is the most important advice to give to students?

Do it all! Actively take up every opportunity you are given to take part in the life of the University... attend your lectures, speak up in tutorials, join a study group, club. Volunteer, make connections, accept all help offered and share your strengths with others.

04_ Evermore used their Rockquest prize money to build their own recording studio – Red Sky Studio.

03_ Bradley, Laughton and Francis Kora won Rockquest in 1991 but went on to later form Kora.

02_ Christchurch has produced the most Rockquest winners with five, Wellington in second with four and Nelson in third with three.

01_

Hamilton Girl’s High band Handsome Geoffrey is the only Waikato winner.

11

OPINION

LETTUCE TO THE EDITOR. Nexus loves getting your letters. We also love it if they are funny, intelligent and well written. Mainly we will be happy if you keep them under 250 words, it saves us having to cut them down. Please remember to give us a real name when you send them in even if you want to write with an alias. Email us at Lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz or... facebook.com/nexusmagNZ

Bastardly Bald Bigot Bashing.

There is a mature student in one of my lectures. When I say mature student I’m sure a lot of things come to mind: the incessant questions, long winded life examples where the ‘senior’ attempts to school the class (and sometimes lecturer) at life. This mature student is a special case. Not only does his bald-bowling ball-gleaming-bright as a mirror head distract all the students sitting behind him, his obnoxious personality and darth vader meets pneumonia breathing is making the lectures intolerable. Seriously, when I’m sitting next to him it sounds like the guy dying in a mustard gas attack. This man (who I shall not name) is a nark and I am at my wits end.

He laughs and points rudely at students in tutorials, he assails students who disagree with him and is even tried to get a guy he didn’t like kicked out of the paper.

To to[ it all off he is a bigot. One giant, Paul Henry/Michael Laws/Hone Haraweria sized bigot. I’m sorry to rant but that bastardly bald bigot has driven me mad for too long, I needed to vent. Anyway, I would ask all of you all out there reading this to be considerate of those around you and if you….my favourite mature student happen to be reading this, might I suggest you go and get your sinuses checked at student health before you die of emphysema.

Sincerely, A student who has had enough!

An agnostic with an opinion.

I read with increasing bemusement Rod Young’s response to Zanian M. Steel, trying to blunder a path to the finish. I fear I got lost several times, and I thought for a moment I 12

#nexuslettuce.

glimpsed Albuquerqe. Perhaps in addition to the Bachelor of Science, Honours of Social Science and P.G. Diploma of Public Policy he touts as his authority, he could add a Bachelor of Arts to his repertoire? No english teacher I have ever had would approve of a paragraph of such density.

More to the point, I fail to see his. If I understand correctly, he is countering Zanian’s assertion that Marriage Equality is a human right by stating that sex has existed since multicellular organisms began to realise that those slightly different looking members of their species were pretty hot actually like totes yo. Perhaps, but marriage is a specifically human invention, and it has undergone its own changes and regional differences, along with different conceptions of gender multiple partners, multiple genders that were not heteronormative, and different concepts of what marriage entails, ranging from economic to romantic to dynastic. And this is all BEFORE the Western binary standard was imposed on Europe and elsewhere. He then wanders off his own path by referring to the Merchant of Venice as an allegory of...I have no idea. Maybe he’s claiming religious persecution? Sure, I guess we are discriminating against people who discriminate for stupid reasons. I don’t see the problem with this. He then revives the corpse of Malthusian theory like a zombie beholden to his argument, and apparently proposes a China-style One Child policy for reasons that baffle me (but female can have as many as she wants as is her choice). What is he trying to say? That Gay Marriage is going to result in MORE kids? I think Rod needs an anatomy lesson, as well as english. “ And regarding X-Faculty - I object to setting our odds at $2:10! Sure, the trainer was brought up on doping charges, and the jockey may start talking about Doctor Who in the middle of your Shakespeare lecture, but she’s

still a good horse, even if she has trouble producing winners, and she’s due for a big win (someday)!

Sincerely, and eternally amused Amused Agnostic

You’re wrong! (but a little bit right too).

The recent article seems to be written by the typical V8 bogan, completely biased and lacks depth.

- The comment about Jenson and Lewis, the cars are substandard and they are getting better results than cars deserve.

- The rich play boy comment, sure a few guys got there on money, what about Hamilton, whose father ran three to four jobs to get him into entry level cars? he got through on the bones of his arse.

- Not a team sport? theres upto 700 people in the team and everyone counts. hence why Red Bull gave everyone 25,000 euros last year as an Xmas bonus. they wouldnt have done that if it weren’t a group effort.

- Senna an asshole? tell me more about the millions you or your sportsmen have contributed to charity? the Brazillians worshipped him, he gave the homeless youth of Brazil shelter and food. Then on track, he risked his life to tend to a fellow competitor who had crashed, running infront of other cars.

Though in saying all that, I do agree with the Webber - Vettel comments, they devoid the meaning of team work, but thats because they are both mega cocks, as is Schumacher, I just plead that articles are better written in future, and not biased, nor written by people who obviously don’t have interest in the given topic. Cause that makes for a shit read. rendering nexus only good for the puzzles. which are a great distraction in tedious lectures, so I do applaud you for that.

Johnny

DISCLAIMER Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

OPINION

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TICKETS ON SALE 9AM 29TH MAY rhythmandvines.co.nz 13

entertainment & reviews

pay & cafÉ

Casalinga Café Rating: GIG LIDO CINEMA film

Performance

Smashproof Rating:

Rating: Performance is unique in being one of few modern films which accurately fulfils the drama genre without blurring into comedy, action or thriller. Set in New York, it revolves around a string quartet whose future is made uncertain by Christopher Walken’s character, Peter, being diagnosed with Parkinson’s.

External problems affecting the group are only complicated further by internal struggles.

Robert, in a stand out performance by Phillip Seymour Hoffman, is not satisfied by second violin and wants to alternate – which would change the quartet’s sound. His wife, Juliette (who plays the viola), struggles to come to terms with Peter’s decision to retire while the first violin, Daniel, battles to keep the group together. Imogen Poots as Robert and Juliette’s daughter also has a notable performance; however Yaron Zilberman’s inexperience with drama is apparent. His direction and dialogue could use refinement, but that does not stop the film from being compelling and interesting.

What does let the film down is the lack of denouement. As conflict and confrontation builds, the final scene leaves you wondering what happened to the tension created in the previous 90 minutes. The film itself is worth the ticket price, but perhaps not investing in the DVD. It is expressive and intelligent, but lacks the cinematic depth to justify a second viewing.

It was raining on Thursday. Rain = bed weather. Fortunately, I gave convincing friends (Hi Ange), and I was convinced to go. So we went. It was probably the best decision I’ve made in a while. Pre-gig was spent listening to the artists because I wanted to go into full groupie mode and sing-along to the songs.

3204 was packed when we got there. I must admit, I rarely go there but I loved the underground grunge vibe it gave off with all the wire decors and the way the stage was set up. I’m excited for all the gigs they’ve got coming!

The night was looking very good and I haven’t even mentioned all the acts yet. Smashproof (Young Sid, Tyree, and Deach) and JAE’O each smashed their sets and nailed it. Another act that was a crowd favourite was Drew Neemia who had it down to a tee: stage presence, killer moves, and a whole heap of screaming fans. He was definitely one of the highlights for a couple of girls beside me who I had to take photos of. Their energy rubbed off on me and I may have let out a scream too.

Of course, the night wouldn’t be complete without local support from Francis Lindell, Dj Damn, Winston Anthony & Bobby Wahab. The latter did their latest track “Osiris” and it was a treat to see them perform that live.

Casalinga Café can be found at the very far end of Grey Street on the corner of Claudelands Road heading into town. It’s an interesting place for a café and I imagine it could be a bit difficult to find a park during peak hours. However, once inside, the café is a very comfortable getaway. There is a quaint outside courtyard in which to relax under an umbrella, and inside there are plenty of comfortable chairs to choose from. The service was fast and friendly, as you would expect.

Our meal was reasonably good, the coffee itself was very nice and my Mocha was sweet enough without any added sugar. My only criticism is that the regular size is very small; the more expensive large option is what I’d generally expect to be a regular, which was disappointing.

There is an array of food options both in the cabinet and off the menu. We chose pieces of the caramel slice and the ginger slice. The caramel slice was awesome, consisting of a thick layer of caramel on a biscuit and coconut base with chocolate icing, and the piece was just big enough to satisfy my sugar cravings without becoming sickly. The ginger slice was nice also; it had just the right amount of ginger in it and was not too sweet like some others I have had. It sufficed as a ginger slice, but there was nothing unique or spectacular about it.

Let’s just say that post-gig, I am still raging to some (now) familiar tunes to me.

Overall, the meal here was a good experience and enjoyable. If you are looking for a nice café, with a good selection of food to kick back and relax, then this place might suit you.

However be aware that the coffee (although nice) is a little bit on the pricy side, and it’d definitely pay to choose the time you visit.

By Jess Molina

By Hannah West

ARIES

taurus

gemini

(21 mar - 20 apr)

(21 apr - 21 may)

(22 may - 21 june)

Now is the winter of your discontent. Mainly because it is winter, your discontent is just part of being a student.

Don’t listen to him. There is no good type of STI. You know better than that.

Now might be time to throw all your inhibitions out the window, or maybe just put them to one side. Throwing things out of windows is really dangerous.

By Louise Hutt

HOROSCOPES

14

entertainment & reviews

MARC ONE COMIC

The Li’l Depressed BoY

book

Tropic of Cancer

By Henry Miller Rating: Henry Miller introduced the word cunt to the English language. Well, not really, but he was the first to start peppering his novels with it.

Not surprisingly, as a result Tropic of Cancer was banned from publication for twenty-seven years.

Not that that’s a mark in his favour. Cunt’s an ugly German word, hardly cause for reading him, nor even is the prolific (and misogynistic) sexual content - but it did help catapult him to worldwide notoriety.

No, the real reason to read Miller is that he’s genuinely original. And weird. Provocative.

Funny too. Tropic of Cancer was written in 1934, but it still has this effect on me. In fact I was surprised by how good it was when I gave it a re-read the other day. Compared to modern dross – it’s powerful.

Part autobiography, part fiction, Tropic of Cancer lurches into full on surrealism when Miller gets fired up. Documenting the lives of louche individuals in Paris just before the War, this is required reading for those who harbour their own bohemian aspirations.

album

S. Steven Struble + Friends

Tiny Terrors

Rating:

Two Cartoons

The Li’l Depressed Boy from S. Steven Struble is a currently running series about, well, a little depressed boy. It’s a passion project that spent a decade coming to fruition and Volume Zero goes way, way back to the (very) early days of development. Volume Zero is essentially a collection of short stories (a lot of them being published for the first time) jammed together to tell a longer story. It’s all rather disjointed and messy, but interestingly, this erratic nature makes the book read like poetry.

It’s deeply affecting stuff and it can be a little depressing at times (admittedly not my cup of tea) but the emotions are honest and you will find much to relate to. The one particular scene where LDB goes to sleep on the far side of the bed, as if there’s someone lying beside him, is something most can admit to doing at some point in time and it is powerfully moving. Various artists contributed to the development of LDB, so the style of illustration changes from page to page. It’s oddly fitting for such an unorthodox book and it keeps things interesting for sure. It’s not often the ‘zero’ numbering of a comic book makes sense but here it definitely does; it’s raw and messy story-telling but also a fascinating insight into the development of a comic book series. For fans only.

Rating:

By the way guys, don’t forget that Armageddon Expo is on the 25-26th of May at Claudelands arena. It is always worth checking out! You will no doubt be able to grab a deal at the MK1 stall.

By Daniel Petersen

Fuzz guitar pop and Dunedin are close. They’re friends, they probably call each other at home and hang out on the weekends, because once again this town is offering up fun rock music for our ears and minds. Two Cartoons are two young students based in Dunedin who are relatively unknown outside the deep south, but their second EP, Tiny Terrors, proves they shouldn’t be.

The opening number, Bubblewrap, is catchier than a loose shirt in a cactus field. It and title track, Tiny Terrors, are destined to be Saturday night favourites, with a drive that is often hard to capture in a recording. But this pop rock duo are more than the Greenday and Weezer sounds they initially evoke. They have structure. They have haunting little fills like those in Dreams and Birds Burns. They have rhythm; the changing yelps and sharp stops in fourth track Utah mix seamlessly into a smooth chorus. But most importantly, they have a youthful energy.

The lyric themes live up to the youthful sparring of the instruments and are just as likely to be about imaginary games and exciting foreign places as it is to be paranoia and nightmares. They’re a duo who seems to be pushing for a place alongside other indie NZ bands like The Eversons and Clap Clap Riot as the new breed of enthusiastic and spontaneously creative musicians. The fact they have the history of Dunedin music behind them is just a bonus. Grab their stuff for free/koha from http://twocartoons.bandcamp.com

By Kevin Pryor

http://www.mk1.co.nz/ www.facebook.com/Mark1Comics

By Hp

cancer

leo

virgo

(22 june - 23 july)

(24 july - 23 aug)

(24 aug - 23 sep)

Allow yourself the freedom to fail without worrying. It isn’t like the government is systematically dismantling the welfare state ensuring your failure will be catastrophic.

If music be the fruit of love, then Katy Perry is a lemon.

Things happen for a reason, except when they don’t. Remember that, or don’t.

15

entertainment & reviews

@Honest_Matt Meets...

gig guide We will guide you through the gigging because that is what we do.

Wednesday Skint House Bar, 6-9 pm Their pizza with pesto and bacon is soooo gooooood. Just saying.

2 for 1 Cocktails Grand Central Hotel, All day Broke student but wanting a nice drink? This is your answer.

@Honest Matt meets the band Bad Energy.

How did Badd Energy first meet and start making music together?

Sam and Coco first started making music together as Badd Energy four years ago. Two years ago they got Trixie on board and the three of them recorded Underwater Pyramids and about six months later I joined the lineup.

Moppy joined the band about six months ago.

Any standout tracks on the album you think we really gotta listen out for?

JS: Yep all of them haha. Ba-Zing is still one of my personal favs though.

What do you think of the state of the NZ music scene at the moment?

There are heaps of exciting new bands doing things differently. I guess in 2013 it’s a lot easier to DIY so that helps things a lot.

Auckland and Wellington both have pretty healthy music scenes from what I see. There’s always room for improvement obviously. Just like society, the music scene is pretty white heteromale dominated. That’s really apparent in the mainstream scene but it’s also pretty apparent in the underground. But it’s good to

see artists and bands challenge that. That’s definitely positive.

What’s been your proudest achievement as a band thus far?

The release of Underwater Pyramids. It took a lot time to come out especially considering how long ago it was recorded compared to when it was actually physically released.

Now for the school councilor type question: Where do you see yourself as a band in 5 years?

I’m not really sure. I think sometimes we feel like Badd Energy is a pretty accident-prone band. So I don’t think I wanna jinx it by talking about our aspirations or anything like that.

I’m not even superstitious or anything. It just seems like the universe has a way of bringing us right down to the ground when it thinks our heads are getting big. But it’s all good.

Girls just wanna have fun.

For the full interview check out Sounzgood.co.nz

Pechakucha 6:30 pm, Wintec Atrium $10 + free drink upon arrival.

A meeting of the creative. Each speaker has 20 images shown for 20 seconds. This will get interesting.

Thursday Thursday nights with Dj StuE Agenda Thursdays need not be quiet.

Teknique Thursdays Static Because it is “tekniqually” the weekend!

Friday TGIF Gravity Bar Live music, free bbq, first round half price!

Saturday Hamilton Night Market Kmart Carpark Finally we have a nightmarket! Grab a bargain (or dinner) and enjoy live music!

Electro Static Static, Gold Coin Entry For those craving a good time.

libra

scorpio

sagittarius

(24 sep - 23 oct)

(24 oct - 22 nov)

(23 nov - 21 dec)

Now that marriage equality is legal, cannabis is next and then we will live in a society where your BSocSci will really mean something, honest.

Sometimes when life gives you lemons you should beat yourself unconscious with them.

It seems like a better option than going to an 8am History lecture.

Freedom is subjective, your degree will open many doors but your massive student debt will anchor you to the floor. Life sucks like that.

16

08 entertainment & reviews

COOL VS NOT COOL

eight ball

tHREE THINGS THAT ARE AWESOME RIGHT NOW AND THREE THINGS THAT AREN’T SO MUCH. COOL Red Bull.

Delicious and better than V.

Mandarins.

They’re in season now. woo!

Welcome to the 8 ball. In the depths of my gooey black ass I will answer the secrets OF THE universe. You may not like MY answerS but lets be honest who else is going to tell you the truth, ugly.

How much is too much?

Well, my friend, let us examine subject A - Lindsay Lohan. A prime example of ‘too much’ or if you rather, for those that are ethnically inclined, tu meke Pakeha wahine. And then we must look at subject B - Susan Boyle, an example of ‘too much’ but too late. Somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Susan Boyle you will find an explosion of internal happiness. You feel me?

Does what side of the river you’re on say anything about you?

If one was to interpret this as a metaphor one would answer with an equally as vague response like this: yes, the side of the river you’re on does matter. Look at your life. Is it lame? Yeah, thought so. Swim to the other side dickshit.

Jenna Marbels.

Pipe the fuck down.

However, if we’re talking about your location in Hamilton one would say that the problem doesn’t lie with the river or which side of it you’re on. It’s the fact that you’re still there. Ohwww SNAP!

NOT COOL

Should they really make another star wars movie?

FUCK NO. I’d have more fun being beaten up my a 400 pound man.

Not winning competitions on Facebook.

I can just as easily unlike your page motherfucker!

How many cats are needed before you can be called a cat lady?

I hate to break it to you, but one cat is the start of a problem. It’s kind of like getting aids. Those fuckers multiply and you’re like, “How did this happen to me?” , “Oh, lame. Guess I’ve I’ve got aids now”.

Why are Dwarfs so good at math?

HEY! No. Just no. You can piss off with your dwarf jokes. Leave them alone *cries* What is the best way to stop someone from hitting on you, when you live with them?

Awkward. Uhhh one would suggest first getting locks (prowlers like to magically open bedroom doors while you’re sleeping). One would also suggest perhaps a taser gun (bit extreme but given it’s Hamilton you can never be too safe). Good luck. Oh chasity belt. Yeah, that’ll work.

Joffrey Baratheon.

Douchebag.

People taking my fucking vegetarian potatoes.

They are my potatoes, bitch!

How come every police officer in Htown I have ever met considers me to be the drunk one...

Why are you meeting Police officers? Are you trying to get arrested?

Think man. think.

At what point does vomiting in your house become too frequent?

Vomiting is a very natural thing. I’m all for it. Don’t ever feel judged about the fact that you’re effectively taking a shit out of your mouth.

capricorn

aquarius

pisces

(22 dec - 20 jan)

(21 jan - 19 feb)

(20 feb - 20 mar)

It’s going to be a good week, or it won’t. What the hell do stars know about your life?

Debaters make better lovers (This ad paid for by debsoc). Unfortunately no one knows if that’s true because nobody will have sex with one.

Hey. I just met you, and this is crazy but annoying songs still stay in your head a year later huh?

17

entertainment & reviews

Puzzle Page Complete the puzzle page, be the first to bring it in and show us, and you’ll win stuff!

Syllacrostic Fill in the answers to the clues by selecting the correct syllables from the list below. Each syllable can only be used once and the number of syllables to be used is shown in brackets. When the correct words are filled in, the first and last letters reading down will reveal a proverb.

AR, BACK, CAR, CAT, DIFF, DU, EN, IN, NAP, OR, OU, OUS, PA, PE, PER, RAGE, RATE, REP, RI, TE, TEM, TILE. 1. Type of book cover

(3)

2. Cold-blooded vertebrate (2) 3. Gruelling (3) 4. Forty winks (2) 5. Moderate (3) 6. Inside (4) 7. Capital of Wales (2) 8. Retinue (3)

Wuzzle 1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Sudoku ~ Easy

18

6.

Across 1. Elementary (6) 4. Sort (4) 8. Made known (9) 9. Scintilla (4) 10. Season (6) 13. Fluent (6) 15. Unguent (4) 18. Reptile (9) 19. Bed on a ship or train (4) 20. Conflict (6)

Down 1. Law officer (7) 2. Intended (5) 3. Solitary (4) 5. Watercraft (5) 6. Conclusion (3) 7. Sound (5) 11. Violent disorder (7) 12. Flower (5) 14. Diadem (5) 16. Obviate (5) 17. Passport endorsement (4) 18. Young mammal (3)

Hub Words How many words can you make from the letters in the wheel? Each word must contain the hub letter R. Can you find a 9-letter word and at least 20 other words of four letters or more avoiding proper nouns?

LIFESTYLE

Our first match up sees reigning champs Waikato Management School take on the scrappiest of underdogs Computer Mathematical Sciences in what can only be described as a battle of Goliath vs David’s smaller more feeble brother who has osteoporosis and really thick prescription lenses.

After literally a full week of speculation, whispers and exaggerated boasting it is time to get down to it all. On this, likely, fog filled Hamilton morning we begin X-Faculty, our search to find the University of Waikato’s new golden boy.

X Faculty Waikato Management School Computer Mathematical Sciences

Waikato Management School

Record 32 and 0 Age Not sure but we know it’s in decline.

Weight Still a heavyweight but could lose a few pounds.

Height Heights used to be greater if we are honest.

Reach Still perhaps the best in the competition but we hear Massey’s arms keep stretching.

Memorable Highlights The once and future King of New Zealand Management. We only mock you because we love you.

So who wins this round?

Initially it was a tough one for us to decide. We wanted to give it to CMS based on the fact that the whole point was to find a new rising star but based on research, prestige and the ability to attract students WMS was still the likely winner. So as they did in gladiatorial times we consulted Facebook and when asked “Which of these

two faculties would you want to be the best the university has to offer and why?” The result was 84-61 in favour of Comp- Sci. So the winner with unexpected knockout by sheer will of the people is the underdog fighting out of the blue corner Computer and Mathematical Sciences.

VS

Computer Mathematical Sciences Record Pacifists Age Technological Weight Mary Kate Olsen Height Tyron Lannister Reach Ever seen a toddler trying to reach for a cookie jar three shelves above.

Memorable Highlights Nine Nexus interns in three years, three Nexus graphic designers.

In our second match up Faculty of Education went up against the Faculty of Worms.

This was a straight knockout to FASS. We love you Faculty of Worms and thanks for making up the numbers but if we actually suggested you be the thing this University is known for then we are no better than Canterbury.

Next week sees two heavyweight clashes as Law takes on the School of Maori and Pacific Development and a grudge match sees Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences in a cage match against Science and Engineering in what we have nicknamed smokers vs drinkers.

19

Feature

20

feature

21

feature

@ Honest Matt Muses About the Future of STUDENT

RADIO 22

feature

It’s NZ Music month at the mo, and to me the month has lost a bit of the pizzazz it had 10 years ago. You may get the Edge or ZM playing a bit more local stuff, doing a few interviews with Dane Rumble etc., and maybe a few punters will feel a moral obligation to attend a friend’s gig or listen to their old Six60 cd. The intent is noble, but in my opinion much more could be done to promote NZ music right here in little old Hamilton.

Hamilton has for quite some time been a cultural laughing stock for the rest of New Zealand. Many great local acts bypass Hamilton (usually in favour of the Yot Club in Raglan) because they know the public’s hunger for local music just isn’t there.

Why is that, you may wonder? Well, I put it down to the fact we don’t have a strong local student radio station championing kiwi music. Now before I go on, I must say that the people behind Waikato Uni’s current incarnation of Contact FM do a good job.

Daniel Farrell has done some amazing interviews with local politicians and bands, and the committee/DJ team are some of the finest musical minds in our fair city. Where the station falls down is the fact the signal barely makes it out the uni gates (it’s not that bad, but it’s not even city-wide).

If nobody can hear, then nobody cares. A small audience means a lot of things (no money, usually), but the saddest, in my opinion, is the fact some of our country’s finest underground talent (e.g. Tourettes, Collapsing Cities, Loui the Zu, etc. etc.) don’t get their amazing music into the ears of New Zealand’s fourth largest city (with one of the country’s youngest populations).

Now what could the people of Contact/Waikato Uni do to boost the station’s audience without needing to buy a frequency?

The simple answer is to just play the station around the bloody campus! It’s a simple step that could be done relatively easily (as I understand). If the station is played around campus then Contact automatically has a captive audience of up to 13,000 people (who needs a big frequency?). With this figure the station may be able to sell advertising/sponsorship. Now I know the present Contact crew isn’t really keen on creating a commercial operation, but in my opinion a little money coming in can’t be a bad thing (a potential 13,000 person captive audience is a pretty big thing for any potential advertisers to ignore).

Money the station makes can go back into supporting local music, firstly through APRA payments. Now nobody gets rich off APRA (the Australasian Performing Rights Association, which makes sure artists get bank) in Aotearoa apart from Dave Dobbyn, but as a struggling kiwi musician, any money, however small, can’t be bad!

Also, any money made can go back into things like music showcases, possibly even a festival (think Radio Active, Wellington’s ‘One Love’ Waitangi fest) that showcase our local Hamilton and kiwi talent in a large, exciting, and dare I say it, mainstream capacity. We’ve got the amazing Soundscape of course, but I think the more festivals, the merrier.

Another thing that pains me is that Hamilton has such a rich wealth of fine musical minds, who would be great on-air talent or DJs. Imagine local rap heavyweight Diaz Grimm serving you up the finest in local hip hop, Soundscape pioneer Greg Stack bringing you new/unreleased electronic goodies or the Knights of the DUB Table fam serving up a bit of Wednesday night reggae for your midweek study break spliff.

Now sure, this wealth of talent could DJ on Contact now, but when you’re not sure if anyone’s listening you have to ask yourself ‘what’s the point?’ There has to be a carrot, and that carrot could be the fact that DJs know people are listening. The bands that they are breaking, the education they are giving, is being heard by the masses.

Some of the music played on student radio is not for everyone (student stations are typically Rihanna-free alternative playlists featuring no less than 30% NZ music) but I think people can adapt, and there would be some positive spin offs. Firstly, people will be exposed to new, different music which will possibly expand minds and grow musical palettes. This will hopefully go a long way in changing the country’s perception of Waikato folk being backward, bogan, uncultured knuckle draggers.

Secondly, student radio is the only youth skewed radio product that appreciates the intellect of youth and isn’t afraid to grill a politician on air over a complex political issue (you won’t hear Fletch and Vaughan getting stuck into Paula Bennett over social welfare reform). Imagine hearing one of the uni’s up and coming communications students giving it to John Key over the speakers while you enjoy a nice little coffee at Momento (I’m sure some would disagree, but I would find that entertaining).

This kind of on-air content transmitted around the uni would surely be good for expanding young, impressionable minds (that’s what university is all about at the end of the day, isn’t it?).

So to sum it up, Contact FM and Waikato University could do a lot more to help NZ music (and really enhance the city’s culture) by simply playing the station around campus. So what I say to Contact and the uni is that if you’re really serious about helping NZ music, broadcast the station around the campus, assemble the city’s unearthed DJ talent, and start making money that can go back into helping our creative communities. People may not like Contact on the speakers straight away, but surely it’ll do many parties a world of good (and peeps can always switch it back to Fletch and Vaughan on their drive home if need be).

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LIFESTYLE

From the Vault Weekly Scandal Report August 2nd 1993

Auteur Woody Allen; 43 films...

Auteur House has recently acquired the latest DVD release from veteran filmmaker Woody Allen. To Rome With Love is unlikely to be remembered as one of Allen’s best. In fact, to describe it as ‘slight but charming’ would be an understatement. That’s not to say that Allen himself isn’t on form as a performer, in front of the camera for the first time in six years, nor that there aren’t a few belly laughs and inspired comic ideas. For once though, Allen’s script seems sketchy and underdeveloped.

To Rome with Love is the 43rd Woody Allen to be stocked by Auteur House. Whilst we are a store that’s more about quality than quantity, the statistic says as much about our philosophy as it does the New Yorker’s prodigious, regular-as-clockwork, output.

Allen has been averaging a film a year for as long as I have been alive and outside of a handful of television shorts, Auteur House stocks the lot.

A grand total of 43 films - all bar one full features - places Allen third on the Auteur House list of most stocked directors. The following list details other prolific film artists with multiple titles available.

1. Alfred Hitchcock: 66 films (1926-1976) Hitchcock ticks more boxes as a director than anyone else. Perfectly balancing the artistic and the commercial, he reigned supreme for just over half a century. Auteur House stocks his first film ‘under the table’ as it were, as well as an atypical 1930s musical, but another 26

48 are available to rent. A further 16 episodes of Hitchcock’s self-titled, late 50s/early 60s tv show, personally directed by the master, bring the total to 66.

2. Charles Chaplin: 62 films (1914-1967) When Chaplin began his career feature films were the exception, not the rule. Extremely prolific as he was learning his craft between 1914 and 1915, he peaked as a director of comedic shorts in 1917, making four bona fide masterpieces, each around 20 minutes long.

Chaplin also directed 11 features, including The Kid, The Gold Rush and City Lights.

Auteur House stocks all but five of his films.

3. Woody Allen: 43 films (1966-2012) If Allen’s output has become inconsistent since the 1980s, no recent American writerdirector can match his record in terms of numbers of features made.

4. Martin Scorsese: 35 films (1963-2011) Best known for his gangster movies and collaborations with Robert De Niro, Scorsese has a greater range than often acknowledged.

Immensely knowledgeable about the history of the cinema and popular and ethnic culture, his 28 features include 6 documentaries.

Amongst his 7 shorts are personal and autobiographical works which examine the Italian-American experience.

5. Clint Eastwood: 33 films (1971-2011) Eastwood the actor is an icon of contemporary violence. For Eastwood the director the issue is more problematic.

Though he’s made too few good films in a forty year career, there is no denying the brilliance of The Outlaw Josey Wales, Unforgiven, Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby and Letters from Iwo Jima.

By Richard Swainson

Lab Rat Savages Med Student While Lecturer Looks On If you believe anything on this page is true you’re a complete idiot Punk He-Rat leads rats in violent takeover Hordes of lab rats have revolted in a bid for freedom. A multitude of rabid lab rats have swept across the campus in fascist takeover leaving smouldering ruins behind them. The lab rats led by punk He-Rat Arnold Shields apparently revolted due to a breakdown in award negotiations. Arnold was quoted as staying “fuck the med students, they’ve been pissing us off for years - cutting us open and making us run around in those bloody treadmill wheels and all for a measly $2.50 per hour. I got more from my check-out operators job at Woolworths”.

Petrolheads strike back in coordinated effort with fascist fly boys Numerous Holdens converged on the scene soon after the incident and in conjunction with the Airforce launched a counterattack against the Rodents “they’re wankers” said squadron leader Al Smith “I hate them, we’ve always had this feud between us. Ever since they beat us 30-0 at the rugby game it was a pleasure to wipe them out in an inferno of napalm hell - woof”. The resulting blood bath was joined by engineering students from the Waikato polytechnic lead by student rep Trevor Petrolhead. Nexus reporters on the scene managed to have a few quick words with him “I got at least 15 of the bastards” said Trev “they made this great squishing noise under my tyres I loved it”. It was a great day for students, who turned the tide in the revolt and totally annihilated the defiant rodents beneath their powerful radials.

Rat Empire-punk He-Rat was poised to take over country!

Rat networking via law students of dubious genetic heritage around the countries campuses has raised the potential the nationwide revolt of lab rats with the possibility of further gruesome attacks on med students. Police have warned the public not to go near any stray rats and all rats should be considered as armed and dangerous.

LIFESTYLE

Auditor Wayne’s World meets Wolverine (and how you can too).

I’m forced to conclude that regular classes are going out of fashion in S-block. The stale, fraught aroma of exam sweat permeates no fewer than two lecture theatres, and after creeping on several empty rooms and being politely but firmly evicted from an international student meeting (in my defence, it looked like a math paper), I’m almost in danger of being reprimanded for tardiness.

The class is brimming with men; there are maybe four brave representatives of femininity in the whole crowd. My bosoms shrink self-consciously away from the accusatory glares levelled at them by various silent, serious incarnations of Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar, and I swear that Mouse has somehow acquired fifty doppelgangers and

rejoined the Matrix solely to out me. “Hi, I’m an auditor, and I have the audacity to attend (what can only be) a computer science paper while possessed of a prominent lack of dangly bits!”

Admittedly, my sniggering at various technical phrases probably isn’t helping. But really, when the lecturer is nattering away in

I resort to cloud-gazing at the insanely convoluted diagrams appearing with whirlwind efficiency on the whiteboard. Sitting in CompSci does make me feel vaguely like Swordfish-era Hugh Jackman, but don’t jump to impulsively sign up based on that: here, the gun to your head is stress-induced sleep deprivation, crippling student debt, and a judgemental gaggle of that long-haired kid

“...the occasional remark about how “people decided that if they were going to insert hardware, they’d need protection”...”

Informationtechnologese, peppered with the occasional remark about how “people decided that if they were going to insert hardware, they’d need protection”, there are only so many ways my apparently pre-pubescent brain wants to translate that. We’ve clearly descended into some kind of bizarro linguistics class, because this is absolutely a foreign language; it’s filled with computational jargon, page tables and CR3 registers and TLBs and other complex reflections on the gruesome minutiae of computer-guts. I suspect the lecturer is the I.T. community’s answer to Dexter.

from 3rd Rock from the Sun, before he got awesome and turned into Batman’s sidekick.

And the only blowjob you’re likely to get is the way the content slowly, studiously sucks away your will to live.

(Disclaimer: If you have some basic level of computer competency, you may feel differently, in which case you should definitely enrol and give Halle Berry an extra grope for the rest of us, you lucky sumbitch.)

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lifestyle

Mr Minty Fish

Slut DJ Creature un-comforts.

What’s in a name?

I’m not going to lie to you, the top ten names for girls all sound like they like a bit of dick. If you have one of these names, I’d invite you to disagree, but then you’d have to take the dick out of your mouth. Guys, may this list help you decipher which boo is best when you’re pulling hotties in House. Amen.

Olivia - Olivia is confusing. Her surface layer says she’s a good time but if you dig any deeper she usually just likes knitting and general disinterest in joy.

Sophie - If Sophie hasn’t already had two kids by now, then chances are she’s a party animal. Either that or she’s a devout Christian.

Sophies are always a bit of a gamble.

Emily - Emily is hot. Emily usually doesn’t know that she’s hot; this only makes Emily hotter.

Charlotte - Charlotte is the most mellow bitch out. She’s the honey badger. Providing you don’t murder her family or make her go in to Altitude, she just does not care.

Ruby - She “loves everyone”, so basically she loves her friends and distributes even doses of the stink eye to everyone else.

Isabella - You’ll see her at RnV but she won’t see you. The size of her pupils would suggest otherwise. #piiiiiinging.com Ella - Ella is lovely. Unless you cross her. If you bang Ella, call her afterwards. Ella will cut your testicles off. But she’ll bake you cupcakes afterwards.

Amelia - Yawn.

Sophia - Yawn.

Ava - Yawn.

I’d love to say I just got lazy with the last three, but I genuinely haven’t had an experience with an Amelia, Sophia, or Ava that hasn’t spun me into the depths of depression.

I hope you’re all doing well. Please stop masturbating in PWC and I’ll talk to you later.

Love you dearly, MMF.xxx @mrmintyfish P.S. STRAAAAYA

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Your parents, priest and teachers will tell you that drugs are bad and they are right. Simply put, your friends don’t know what the fuck they are talking about when they say “it’s okay, it’s just a pill”, they’re not chemists nor doctors and if they are – then they sure as fuck should not be telling you to take random drugs while drinking under the Bridge St Bridge before town.

However, chances are you don’t give a shit about what goes into your drugs and are part of the majority of Waikato youth who, scarily and laughably, personifies the YOLO ideal (this attitude is also the reason why Chlamydia is still such a common STI and why the rest of New Zealand laughs at us).

I’ve written about buying flyspray tainted weed from the Mongrel Mob during Easter – so you should probably add this column to a list of bad influences and stupid decisions, but please take these experiences to be a cautionary tale.

I recently had to carry a convulsing clubber from a venue to an ambulance. It got me thinking – this has happened a lot over the years and even though I’ve seen many people in a far worse state due to alcohol (which causes far more social harm) it’s still an issue which too many people, especially our age, take lightly.

Overdosing and shit drugs is something that even experienced users don’t seem to care about.

Recently I went to a business meeting at a famous radio personality’s Auckland home on a Sunday morning following a particularly large music festival. The creatures who inhabit the house had already started climbing into a hole, each of them a few joints down and half a crate deep. This wild arrangement of skittish animals was a typical sight on any weekend safari through the entertainment industry but weird as hell nevertheless.

These mole people were not and are not to be trusted in any circumstance but in small doses they are tolerable and, if caught in the right mindset, somewhat amusing.

Today wasn’t one of those times and they scurried around the flat letting off the most bizarre of laughs, each jeering the other on.

It was painfully obvious that the pack was on something, something good.

I asked the radio personality and he said he’d found some GHB (also known as

Gamma-Hydroxybutyric Acid or Fantasy or Liquid Ecstasy or Mills). The drug was incredibly popular and extremely cheap during the early 2000s. Just a few milliliters or drops would bring on a similar euphoric state to that of dropping a very good pill or downing five beers in rapid succession.

It made users, happy, confident, somewhat incoherent and incredibly horny - but the best part was that it only lasted an hour.

Oh and it was cheap at $3 a mil.

However like any drug there is a particularly brutal downside – if you take too much and it might only be a mil or so too much, you can overdose. An act that will send the user into a coma like state almost instantly – this effect was capitalised on by rapists which was one of the many reasons the drug was outlawed.

Mr Radio Personality dipped an eye dropper in a bottle of clear liquid and told me this ‘effect’ was exaggerated by the media and false – something I’d heard from many people regarding many drugs in the past.

He squeezed the liquid out of the eyedropper into half a can of Red Bull while howls of laughter echoed up the hallway.

We talked for a few minutes about the perceived danger of drugs until he started to slur his words.

It wasn’t long before he was in the corner chatting up one of his best girl friends.

A few minutes later he had pulled his pants off to reveal his semi-erect penis which he started to furiously tug on before trying to rub it against anything and everything.

After a couple of minutes of pubescent and highly indecent delight he collapsed, lurching forwards, vomiting and convulsing on the ground.

Someone in the background called an ambulance.

I’d moved to the other side of the room when his dick came out, but rushed to help him once he started choking.

A girl in the room started screaming, the other occupants of the room started yelling at each other and fighting.

I rolled Mr Radio Personality into the recovery position as an ambulance siren came within earshot.

Another outburst of laughter echoed down the hallway.

Worst. Business meeting. Ever.

lifestyle

Alternative Mondays

Almost Grown Up

Something different for your Monday Morning.

Jumping off a cliff, backwards

People should live life, and I mean really experience it. I have a quote on my wall that reads, “may you live every day of your life”.

However, when I look around uni sometimes I feel like we get stuck in the normality of life; doing the things we have always done, because we were told to do them.

Uni is about breaking the mould - trying new things. And no, by new things I’m not going to spout on about new ways to get pissed or laid. I believe students are little more intelligent than that. This column is really more about exploring different ways of living and seeing the world. How about exploring a new spirituality; finding out about groups that have un-mainstream values; or just trying a new style in life?

Waikato Uni, it’s time to get a little alternative – and these humble hippies hope that this column will give you a good start.

To kick off, were going to start with something that isn’t so alternative anymore but is still worth a mention; Fairtrade. Fairtrade Fortnight finished yesterday (providing you are reading this on Monday) and was a great opportunity to find out all about Fairtrade. However, just because Fairtrade Fortnight is over, doesn’t mean that you can’t still head down to you local Trade Aid store (4/19 Worley Place Hamilton) and check out their awesome wears. They don’t just sell coffee, but a whole range of products from their famous chocolate, to the cutest wee earrings. And the best part? Not only do you go away feeling good about yourself, but the prices are pretty sweet too!

Growing up is like jumping backwards off a cliff. You’re scared to do it, but you’re also eager to find out how you’ll land and where it could take you.

What prompts me to jump is how much I hate the cliff; how restricting being a teenager can be. There are so many rules that disintegrate

workplace’ is like. Excuse me, but no one chooses to wear the same pleated calf length skirt and boring shoes to work every day. It’s just a ridiculous concept.

Not only that, I probably won’t have to be up at 6am to catch some gross, 10-minuteslate public bus. I can sleep in to my hearts content and walk to a lecture. It won’t matter if I want to go out on a ‘school night’, because I have the choice of what papers I want to take, instead of what we’re required to suffer through.

There are things that hold me back from jumping, sentimental stuff like getting home and having your washing done for you, someone else to cook dinner, but that is just an accepted part of growing up. You can’t rely on your parents forever, as much as you love your Dads’ mac’n’cheeese or Mums’ meatloaf.

“It won’t matter if I want to go out on a ‘school night’, because I have the choice of what papers I want to take, instead of what we’re required to suffer through.” when you hit 18. Not only that, I hate high school. The rules are hypocritical and by no means prepare you for ‘real life’.

Finally I’ll be able to have as many piercings as I like, instead of just one in each earlobe while the teacher telling me off has a nose stud and more earrings than I can count. I can wear whatever clothing I want, not just some horrid uniform and uncomfortable shoes that supposedly emulate what ‘dressing for the

I could live with my mum next year, but that’s like jumping from the cliff to a ledge. It’s not taking the full leap and living on my own merits.

Although I’m nervous about what will happen when I jump, I can’t wait for the freefall of becoming me.

Gracie King

I’m going to end with my tip for the week: You can find Fair Trade products in supermarkets but the coffee from Trade Aid is, in my opinion, way better.

Happy (ethical) shopping!

The Humble Hippies

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Lifestyle

Little Beer Corner Kiwi Beer Rocks!

It’s an exciting time to be a beer drinker in New Zealand right now. We’re spoilt for choice whether it be perusing the bottled beer selection of our neighbourhood supermarket, or indulging in the range of beers on tap at our favourite bar or local pub.

Personally, I love to support local. Call it what you want…artisanal, crafty, boutique.

It doesn’t really matter. There’s always that warm fuzzy feeling of spending your hardearned cash, or lack thereof, on produce that you can actually place a face to those

probably familiar with it. Everything that exists in the birth of civilisation is the result of beer - I read that somewhere on the internet. In recent times, there’s been an exciting and emerging scene of small breweries crafting wonderful and delicious beers, driven by the demand of quality driven consumers. If that makes sense? This revelation is by no means a new phenomenon, but here in NZ, we’ve seen a wave of new breweries popping up that dare, or for a better term, care, to brew beers that truly appeal to everyone, themselves included. Let’s just say, no one is left thirsty.

Sure, beers can be crazy. “Imagination is your only limitation” is a saying we have in the brewing circles. But no matter what your personal taste is, be sure that you can find it in beer. Chocolate, coffee, raisins I hear you say? Well, why not indulge in a rich stout during these chilly months. Citrus, mangoes, pine? Yep, easy as. A refreshingly crisp hoppy pale ale is at your calling. Wait, what? A beer that tastes of smoked bacon. Seek, and you shall find.

“Wait, what? A beer that tastes of smoked bacon.

Seek, and you shall find.” who have created it with own hands. It’s difficult not to want to invest in some of that passion and creativity that nurtures our local communities.

Getting back to the topic at hand, we’re talking about the goodness of that glorious nectar known to humankind as beer. You’re

But beer not need be a religious experience.

Grab your loved one, a geeky beer mate or join your fellow bingo goers and grab a pint of that unfamiliar beer you see before you. Be convivial. Drink good beer.

Nate Ross

Boganology 101 D.I.C.

The band D.I.C. doesn’t like Brian Tamaki, they don’t like people on mopeds, and they don’t like babies (unless they’re used as alternative feed for Dobermans). They’re the ones that turned Michael Jackson white. They had sex with your sister and your aunty; they probably didn’t buy them dinner first and it probably wasn’t tenderly done either. If you’re trying to find a sub-genre, there isn’t one, so they made one up and called it whorecore.

Recently they had a lineup change, so now they’re progressive whorecore. Their albums include “Who’s Ya Mutha?”, “Kindergarten Crackwhore”, and there’s a new one out soon called “Praying on the Weak”.

Kindergarten Crackwhore is a personal favourite – I have the T-shirt and was told at a Slayer concert that the shirt was “too offensive” by a dude in a Cradle of Filth shirt. Pretty much sums up both D.I.C. and Cradle of Filth, to be honest. My favourite song from that album, Killing Spree at the IRD, caused a bit of a stir a number of years back when Paul Martin played it on the Axe Attack and someone at the IRD complained. Let’s hope nobody got audited. But despite their music mostly being about all the things that piss them off, they’re incredibly nice guys. Band members Sypho and Shane, along with newer members Raana on the Tama, and Clintoris, do like some things. They like yams. They like Jonah Lomu. They like dismemberment and helping the elderly. They like performing in overalls covered in fake blood.

D.I.C. are still my favourite Kiwi Metal band, and you should definitely check them out.

It’s probably my bias towards this band that meant this column is just a list of things I like about them. Anyway, D.I.C. are playing in the Battle of Bands in Hamilton on the 31st of May. They’re going to be invading the Outback Inn for a Killing Spree in the CBD. You should definitely go along and check out the spectacle, as D.I.C. is back from the dead and into your mother’s bed.

Stay Bogan \m/

By Burton C Bogan

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WSU

President’s Column Unemployment sucks.

Veeps Danyell talks sport.

Being unemployed sucks. Seriously. Ask anyone who has graduated with a Bachelor of Arts in the last fifty years, or plans on graduating with a Waikato Bachelor of Management Studies in the next decade. I know, that was a little bit rough, but it was also a large bit true so don’t go looking for an apology. For students employment is especially important.

It gives us a purpose outside of study, helps us develop skills that can’t be taught in a classroom, and even tops up our measly student allowances to fuel our drinking problems.

This semester the event management classes here at Waikato uni have got the Waikato Rugby Union (WRU) as their client. Apparently last year you all got pretty sick of hearing about organ donation, so I thought I’d jump on the bandwagon before you get sick of hearing about rugby too.

That’s why 30 years ago some clever students

I was never very interested in rugby, or sport in general, until last year when I met my boyfriend. I have since realized that there is definitely a reason that rugby is our national sport. It’s got strategy; aggression; a bit of drama every now and then; and ladies, have you seen those rugby players?! There has also been an amazing community built around local rugby through generations of rugby supporters cultivating relationships with different clubs.

got together and created what we now lovingly refer to as Student Job Search Aotearoa Incorporated, but you can call him SJS. Keep in mind that this was back in the good old days when National actually liked creating jobs, not getting drunk at Hamner Springs and threatening to end them, so there may have been a little bit of support from Robert Muldoon too. (For those of you who don’t know who Muldoon is, think Winston Peters – but white).

Since that very day SJS have been keeping students in employment and out of dumpsters, saving unemployment for the users of lesser services like Trademe Jobs and Seek.

Basically, what I’m saying is that rugby is pretty cool and the Waikato rugby Union does a pretty sweet job of facilitating it. No matter who you are, or how much you think you’re too cool or girly or apathetic about sport, get along to a game! Whether it be local or professional, they are always a good time and there are many friends to be made.

At the various events happening both on campus and throughout Hamilton, there will be many opportunities to learn more about rugby and win stuff, so get involved! You might just find that you love it.

Wellington at the SJS 30th Birthday party hosted in Parliament. While I’m grateful for the opportunity to down drinks like the notorious piss hound I am, I feel it is only right that I shine some light on the excellent work this organization do.

Youth employment is a serious issue in New Zealand. With unemployment at 6.2% in the first quarter of this year there aren’t even enough jobs for the ‘grown ups’, let alone students with their irregular schedules, penchant for late nights, and tendency to move home over summer. This has seen the unemploy-

“...unemployment at 6.2% in the first quarter of this year there aren’t even enough jobs for the ‘grown ups’, let alone students...”

Student Job Search is a not for profit incorporated society that is 100% student owned.

That means that you, through the Waikato Students’ Union, are a shareholder in this fine institution. You also get to use it for free of charge, so what’s standing between you and employment? This week I will be representing the Waikato Students’ Union down in

ment rate for people ages 20 – 24 sit at 10.9%. Sure, its dropped 4.1% since the last quarter and hit the lowest rate since 2009, but it’s still too high. The unemployment rate for 15 – 24 year olds is a staggering 16.1% - thats 60,9000 young people just like us out of work.

Typically Labours Youth Affairs spokesperson Nanaia Mahuta had a cry about it, but you see, thats the problem. Crying about it doesn’t fix anything, as Pete Hodkinson will tell you.

That’s why I love SJS. They aren’t having a cry about anything. They are out there day in and day out, dealing with the realities of the job market and delivering results for students.

Cheers SJS. Aaron

Danyell

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ALICE & A Lifestyle

Alice & Anne

By ALICE & ANNE

Alice and Anne teaches you how to not look like a zombie.

Or at the very least how to look like a cute zombie.

So, we all know that winter is not the greatest time of the year in New Zealand, unless you’re living the life in a Queenstown chalet.

What makes it not so great is the fact that the weather necessitates very warm clothing that can often make you look like a yarn-wrapped pine cone; also the wind and the cold and the wet plays havoc with our hair and skin. We have some tips for you to come out victorious against the evil Waikato winter.

DO buy a (semi) expensive coat. It must be waterproof, practical, well-fitting and in a style that you won’t be embarrassed to wear in 2 months. Don’t be afraid to shop around, you only need one ‘old faithful’ so make sure you get the best one.

Trend Spotting

By ALICE AND ANNE

Campus Trends

Tight Fit.

yes-I’m-cosy-and-no-I-don’t-have-a-pimple look.

DO get a hat, but be sure it doesn’t give you terrible hat hair – if it does, prepare to commit to wearing it for the entire day. You could look for a loose slouchy beanie or a tight one that covers only the top portion of your head. If you combine a hat and scarf with long hair, you can tuck your hair away inside the scarf and still look cute, whilst protecting your lovely locks from the perils of precipitation.

DON’T slather on the makeup. Tempting I know, I do it too, but it actually all ends up running off and smudging and getting all up on your scarf and just generally doesn’t end well. Use a tinted foundation or BB cream for a light coverage if need be, and warm your face with blusher and a stroke of waterproof mascara. If you really must cake it on, at least put powder on top of your liquid/stick foundation so that it stays, and for goodness sake keep things away from your face.

SLIGHTLY STONED DO buy a scarf. Boys this means you too.

Look for a tight or chunky knit with no holes that wind can get in, otherwise you’ve just invested in a fashionable woollen necklace that looks cool but won’t keep you warm.

You need to make sure it’s reasonably long to ensure that you can wrap it enough times to keep you warm and ensure it doesn’t run away in the wind. Also on bad skin days you can wrap it to cover your chin slightly for the

SLIGHTLY STONED CHEF PUMPKIN SOUP 32

Anyway, whatever you do stay wonderful and bundle up warm, Alice.

1kg of peeled and cubed pumpkin, 1 diced onion, 1 litre of chicken stock, 1tsp nutmeg, salt and pepper and 1 cup of cream.

Just because it’s winter soon, doesn’t mean you need to be boring. Patterned tights are far more exciting than plain black - whether they have gold studs or silver crosses.

Fry off the onions and pumpkin with some butter.

lifestyle

Arts Josiah Warbrick I’m in my 3rd year of Digital Design at Wintec, so when I have a piece of paper in my hand I’ll whip out my pencil and begin to draw.

I enjoy creating my worlds, showing people my artwork and seeing other people’s artwork. What I have learnt about art is that it’s a lot like surfing, it takes a lot of practise and then more practise. facebook.com/josiahRwarbrick

Throw your stock, nutmeg and seasoning in.

Simmer for about 20mins until the pumpkin is nice and soft.

Blitz it all up using either a blender or hand mixer.

Blend in the cream. Serve warm with bread!

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WSU

Ask Amber FREE Home Insulation Project A lovely friend of mine came to talk to me last week about a little project she’s doing. It is a great little project that helps our community and whanau, not just students. What I was shocked to hear was that they still haven’t reached the number the people they need to make this project go ahead. So I thought I would let Waikato Students see if they are interested and if they qualify for this great project to apply: Te Puna Oranga (Maori Health Service) need your help to recruit more whanau into the Warm Whare: FREE Home Insulation Project by 31 May 2013. Help create a warmer, healthier and drier winter for hundreds of tamariki this winter!

To apply you must fit the criteria listed below: • Live in / own a home built before 2000 (within 30km of Hamilt on City) • Be a Community Services Card holder (the primary ten ant or owner) • Have children under the age of 16 years living in the home (or fre quently staying) • The home is not a Housing NZ (Housing Corp) home • Landlord approval has been granted, if renting If you are interested and fit the criteria listed above then please pick up an application form from the Waikato Students’ Union reception (located in the SUB building next to the shops on campus). Two hundred applications all completed before 31 May qualifies for this project to go ahead. So let’s get healthier home and help the community! Also check out www.facebook.com/ FreeInsulationForWaikatoHomes If you are interested in this project or have questions on other situations that may be affecting your studies then please contact Amber the Student Advocate on advocacy@wsu.org.nz or chuck her a text on 0272065011.

Citizens Advice Bureau Too Much Booze.

It was a great night out but John ignored the law which says you must not drive if the amount of alcohol in your blood or breath exceeds certain age-related limits. He was detained by the police when he failed a breath test at a road block and he had to accompany the police officer to the police station.

The Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other inquiries you might have. Visit them at the Village Green by Waikato Print 11am – 1pm, Mon – Fri or phone 0800FORCAB 36

WSU

Was This You? WSU Clothes Swap.

Was this you swaping clothes?

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