Never Enough by Daniel

Caesar Album

I, like most of you, am a massive fan of Daniel Caesar. Oh wait, you’re not? Well what’s actually wrong with you? He’s got the voice of an angel and his collab with Jessie Reyez–ground-breaking. The Canadian R&B singer’s sleepy, erratic album proves that good old-fashioned love songs and heartbreak ballads are still his strong suit. And you know I can’t help but be in awe that he’s continuously raising the bar, though that doesn’t mean it has no flaws, I’m aware of its downfalls and can recognise where he thrives.

Travelling far afield from the gospel arrangements and acoustic ballads that defined his debut, Caesar has collaborated with Justin Bieber, T-Pain, and Free Nationals, picking up pieces of their sounds along the way. He’s erratically experimental on Never Enough—Auto-Tune, pitched-down vocals, random rap verses, Frank Ocean-like ad-libs. With all the experiments that he’s succeeding, it’s met with subpar writing at times, lacking the depth that I’ve come to expect–bordering on robotic as he lacks the complex structure of Freudian. Is it enough to balance with what can only be described as a clusterfuck of sound?

Three standouts, “Always,” “Let Me Go,” and “Valentina,” show Caesar hasn’t lost his streak, opting for his tried and true heartbreak anthems to reign supreme. The back half of Never Enough taps into the bedroom R&B of 2018’s “Who Hurt You?” In what’s a swift turn from Caesar’s previous duets with women, the main tracklist—Mustafa, Omar Apollo, serpentwithfeet, Ty Dolla $ign— features men. “Homiesexual,” an ode to male toxicity, is the most harmonious. “I never meant to make you cry, my girl,” Ty Dolla professes to a lover who’s already moved on. Since he monopolised the Auto-Tune, Caesar balances the track with lustful vocals: “I-I-I know you like it nasty.” When he’s not over-intellectualizing his emotions, Caesar can be disarmingly raw. If only he didn’t write like chatgpt the rest of the time.

What’s the final verdict? Caesar hasn’t quite lost it, too me. He’s still spinning yarns, shooting straight while challenging his previous works. I think he’s lacking the feminine touch, no disrespect to the men featured, to help balance out his callous portrayal of sex and lust. There’s all the best parts of his discography, paired with all the worst parts of sultry R&B. Overall, it’s a solid listen and it does the job of capturing my attention from start to [mostly] finish. Thanks Dan, looking forward to the next one.

This is genuinely the weirdest shit I’ve ever watched in my entire life, and yet somehow it was really fucking entertaining. MILF Manor is an American reality/dating tv series, similar to the likes of Too Hot To Handle and Love Island. You’re probably thinking it’s about a bunch of hot mums looking for love, which is half true. There is a catch though; the men on this show are their sons. What. The. Fuck. Imagine seeing your mum hook up with someone your age, and you start macking on someone else’s mum. It’s so fucking weird.

Now that you know that, you’re probably wondering why I gave this show a rating of 6. I’ll admit that it's a very uncomfortable idea, and they probably only did it for the fame that might’ve come from it, however it was so funny. I haven’t seen the finale yet, but the drama is already so good. If you can somehow get past how weird it is, you’ll actually have a good laugh about how dramatic and chaotic these people are. And a few of them are actually really funny too.

While the rating for this show is low (which is not surprising, obviously), there are actually a lot of good reviews. One person said it’s “It’s literally like a train wreck, you can’t look away!”. And they meant that in a good way. It’s incredibly entertaining with a hint of cringey moments that you can actually laugh at. One of the highlights for me was when one guy wrote a song for his date… and SANG IT FOR HER. I was dying from how embarrassing it was but hey, ups to him for having the confidence to do that. And I’ll admit he didn’t have a bad voice, but bro had negative rizz in that moment and still managed to win her over on that date. He even wrote lyrics in Spanish for her, which was actually kinda cool I guess…? You know what, here are the lyrics:

Flaws and all, I want you just the way you are, ah, ah. Let down your walls, Ah ah.

*insert lyrics in Spanish*

I can’t explain this scene and how much I was dying laughing because of it. Like what the fuck was with the “ah, ah”. Wack. But honestly, I might just make this my new ringtone because it’s so bad. If you ever write a song for someone you like, try to not embarrass yourself the way this guy did to all of the viewers.

Anyways, my whole take from this show is that people are weird and entertainment allows it.

- Seamus Lohrey

P-town baby! I recently had the pleasure of spending some time in the metropolis of Porirua, and man, was it a treat. To say I was oblivious to how much of the country relies on Porirua would be an understatement. I mean, how could I not realise Whittakers had their factory there. Not only this but there was also the first Maccas in the entire country still proudly standing. To me, it was not only rude not to pay a visit to this historical sight but betrayal to my very country. This building ranks among the big hitters like the Beehive. Sacred ground. On top of this, there’s the Police College too. Something for everyone, some might say. It became evident to me, quite quickly, that Porirua is the hub of New Zealand.

I like to think the great Porirua locals such as TJ Perenara, Jerry Collins, and Gary McCormick used to look over the shimmering Porirua Harbour and decide there and then they were going to be awesome. Personally, I know I had my Moana moment looking at it. Something about the mountains cradling the stillness of the harbour is comforting to me. So comforting that I feel obliged to say Rangituhi and the harbour are a better combo than the South Island and mullets. Prove me wrong.

I don’t get the bad rep this city gets. The place is great and the people I met were even greater. There’s clearly a lot of pride shared among the public about where they live and it really rubs off. Look, it’s not a holiday destination you’d pick over other spots in Aotearoa but it’s definitely a place you'd call home. No snobs, only grins and greetings from the locals. The same can certainly not be said for some of the bigger players in our domestic landscape. P-town needs some extra love put into by the big guns down the road because it bloody deserves it. Keep on, keeping on, Porirua; you get two thumbs up from me.

The rise in living costs: how to keep your expenses down as a university student.

It is common knowledge that university students are broke, and it can get pretty hard for adults with the rise in living costs. So here’s some useful tips to keep your living expenses down.

Groceries and power are one of the biggest living costs. Some easy ways to cut down your food bill are simply planning out your meals and sticking to the shopping list. This ensures nothing goes to waste and you buy all the necessities. Ingredients such as rice, beans, pasta, and potatoes can bulk up your meals with little cost.

Try to do at least a couple meals with your flatmates, sharing a food bill between the household greatly reduces the expense and you can easily have quality meals for 30 to 40 dollars a week if split between everyone.

Another useful tip is not to shop hungry, as the snacks look extra tempting but expensive. Unless of course, you deserve a treat, which you always do.

Easy ways to save on power are to turn everything off by the wall, to wash your clothes in cold water, and to avoid using the heater. If you need to use your heater, even setting it to a couple degrees lower can make a difference to your power bill. Cleaning out the air filter regularly in your heat pump is another useful power saving tip.

Also check if your power company does free or discounted power times. If so, it’s a good idea to run appliances like your dishwasher or dryer during these times. Transport is another big cost, especially if you are commuting to university. If you drive a car, try to fuel up at cheaper gas stations such as Mobile, Pak'n’Save and Waitomo. For extra convenience, the Ruakura Waitomo station is a few minutes' drive from the uni. Otherwise, using public transport such as the bus is an effective way to cut down transportation costs.

And remember, if you are struggling with money for course-related costs such as books and stationery, you can always claim up to 1,000 with studylink. Of course, you could also claim a week’s rent as a course-related cost. However, if caught you could get a penalty including losing your student loan so be careful.

Hopefully these tips can help you save some extra money, and you can spend more on the fun things.

$13.50 $3.50 these too, but I promise they are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned.

For some undefined reason, I've been trusted enough to write a column about one of the world's most significant phenomena. Take a guess! Nope, it's not the northern lights nor the Bermuda Triangle, but rather something that appears in the form of a mild foot infection, deadly with its contagiousness. I'm talking about Air Force 1s if you still need to catch it or catch on. I am humbled enough to write this as I have fallen victim to their accessibility and comforts. However, it's not 1984 or 2019, so we should pick an alternative shoe for this winter. At least until 2037, when they are bound to be back in the fashion cycle, and chances are we'll all be buying them for our kids.

CLOGS! And not just your typical Boston Birkenstocks. As beautiful as they are, when some things sell out, it's a hint to pick up something more unique. My favourites are the Doc Marten 'Jorge' or the Alias Mae 'Quinn' if you're feeling a bit snazzy.

I can't help but let the dad-style shoe saga continue. This article should be called 'For the Hot Dads' [editor's note: we have now]. I love a good vintage white Reebok. But hey, if you're into the all-white aspect of the Air Force, here ya go! The most important thing when it comes to these all-all-white shoes is that you get them dirty. I want them to look like you didn't buy them from Platypus last week but

The finale. The cherry on top. As much as I'd love the pleasure to finish on something like a platform croc (my strange addiction), I fear that you freaks may put jibbitz on them (Sorry, another irrational fear I withhold). Also, this is a winter fashion edit, so until they make shearling lined Crocs, which would be gorgeous, they are off the list. In honour of everyone who ever broke my heart, Dr Martens deserves a spot on this list. They are all classics and beautiful in silhouette, but I'm leaning towards cherry red this season. Mary Janes and anything platform is preferred. Top tip–wear them in the shower to break them in. I wish I had learnt this trick before I raw dogged breaking in at least five pairs!

I’ve never been a fan of reboots, and I probably never will be. When I heard about a Harry Potter tv series in development, my immediate first thought was “fuck off”. However, looking past my own personal reservations about this, I was able to come up with a few reasons why you should not completely write off this reboot.

Firstly, this series is in production under HBO. Honestly, I see this as an absolute dub. Why? Because imagine if it was fucking Netflix that had announced this shit- that would undoubtedly have been an absolute nightmare. At least with HBO, we can acknowledge their great potential because of other series like Game of Thrones… and other shit that I’ve never seen. Basically, all I’m trying to say is HBO is a very safe bet for this remake. (I also just found out that HBO isn’t going to be HBO anymore and it’s just called Max lol).

Moving on, another reason why a tv series from the books, as most book-to-movie adaptations do. However, a tv series can go more in depth and bring to life more scenes from the books that we missed out on. We could get more in depth backstories, new character developments, and overall just new characters! I mean, haven’t you guys ever wondered what actually went down between Harry and Cho? Or ever been curious about Regulus Black? Or wanted to see the poltergeist Peeves? Even seeing more Death Eaters and their control in Hogwarts once Dumbledore was killed would be fucking awesome.

My next and final point on why revamping Harry Potter could possibly not end up shit is simply that we would be revisiting the Wizarding World. There’s absolutely no doubt that the movie franchise will always and forever remain in our hearts. The original cast will never be outdone. While I personally think it would be cooler to have seen a live action adaption of the Marauder’s,

I’ve not consumed Harry Potter media in a long time, probably something to do with growing up and suspending that level of disbelief enough to realise the error of my ways. With that being said, Harry Potter helped shape a generation of rangatahi as they came into the world, breaking sticks off trees to create a wand that vaguely resembles someone’s john zipped through a pair of carpenter pants. Where’s the joy in remaking a product that’s not broken at all?

Lord of The Rings comes to mind. This is a film trilogy known for its visuals, strong score and breathtaking wig budget. Arguably a strong trilogy that didn’t need to be rebooted. So guess what, they didn’t. When Amazon announced they were making a TV show with a shared title, there was a bit of an uproar from basement dwellers and english teachers galore, stamping their life size replica Hobbit hooves in unison out of fear of losing the one semblance of joy they have left in this cruel world. Imagine the surprise when it was a standalone film, almost a prequel with a completely new script. No such luck here, with the TV series set to just remake what was already done.

Listen when I say I’m all for a cash grab, there’s no shame in recognising when something is simply for profit or when it’s going to actually benefit an audience. Perhaps I’m failing to understand what the reason is? The Warner Bros Discovery CEO, David Zaslav, suggested there’s an untapped market to be introduced–leaving the original franchise to standalone for the audiences who’ve come to know them so well and love them completely. But this is a mammoth production, set to span a decade and leave an almost sour taste in our mouths I can only assume.

The story isn’t groundbreaking, and I genuinely believe JK Rowling is a decent writer with a shitty opinion. Cancel her? It’s not for me to say. Though I can comment on it being a children’s story with a disproportionate teen adaptation–and a soon to be unknown show. Let’s highlight better stories with such a vast budget. Chuck some more money at Zendaya HBO.

What’s my angle? Don’t waste money on pointless shit like remaking something that’s majorly average to start. Harry Potter is an average story with a cult following of Millenials who can’t let their butterbeers go untouched or their merch unframed. Let them live their lives out.

Joel Collins

To be clear, this is a meal that gives people depression. Do you have anyone in your life that is just a bit too happy for your liking? Serve them this meal and it’ll bring even the most serotoninriddled Mickey Mousey ass ass to their knees with despair.

Drinks: Alcohol

Building a depression almost always starts with a nice base of guilt and regret, and there’s nothing better for that than alcohol. You’re gonna wanna get your target very drunk and start some controversy around the table. If you do your job right, the target will start getting very passionate about some asinine topic, and they’ll start arguing with someone who they want to like them. It will get VERY personal and they'll end up offending the person, which will wreak havoc on their self-esteem throughout the night.

First Course: Suicidal Soup

For this step you can prep any soup you like, and just before you season it, set aside a bowl for our target. Then as people compliment your soup skills, saying how delicious it is, our target will wonder why they don’t like it. Then they'll start contemplating if maybe they just don’t see things the way others do, and have a sadder and just more bland view on life than others. Perfect!

Second Course: “Salad”

Just a head of lettuce. Cabbage if you’re a real sick fuck.

Third Course: Manipulative Main

This is where you might have to do a little research. Find out your target’s favourite meal- something nostalgic, from a good time in their life. Now make the most underwhelming, budget, most grossest version of this meal you can manage. This will make them question if they were ever really happy at all. Neat!

Fourth Course: Despondent Desert

This one’s gonna be ice cream straight from the container. They might as well get used to it, they’re one of us now!