Nexus 2016 Issue 23

N.23 / V.48

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FEATURES 16 Nexus Retrospective: Dawn Tuffery, Editor of 2005 Megan Cullen

18

18 Remember the Racism Jarrod Wooldridge

20 An Interview with Norman Kingsbury

By Brittany Rose

16

NEWS & OPINION

20

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

02

Lettuce

14

Arts

12

Reviews

03

Uni News

22

Your Space

30

Snapped

04

Nexus News

29

Head Chef

31

Blind Date

07

Sports

32

Puzzles

08

CARE

ON THE COVER

COLUMNS

UNCLE YAM

26

Expectations vs. Reality

Growing Up

26

Half-Baked with Vitamin D

Ol' Granny Lumberjack

27

Heil Hogan

Absolute Rinsers

27

Nerd York Times

Nerd Since '94

28

The I.T. Guy

Technology Prefect, Class of 2012

28

Modern Day Mixtape

Makings of an Indie Shitbag

EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz Brittany, 1996, Age 5

Bronwyn, 2000, Age 5

Lyam, 1999, Age 2

EDITORIAL 2016, IT'S BEEN A YEAR BRITTANY ROSE

CONTRIBUTORS Grayson Maslin Indula Jayasundara Tom Collopy Freddy Walker Jared Wooldridge Rory Davis

This November I turn 25(!). A month later I get to dress up in the pretentious regalia of

Dr. Richard Swainson

academic self-congratulation, walk across a stage at Te Kohinga Mārama marae in an ugly hat

Megan Cullen

and hold that piece of paper I’ve sunk somethingsomething thousand dollars into.

I’m kind of freaking out.

Vitamin D Matthew Rae Sarah Hyde

So. Instead of acting maturely, or taking any responsibility for my future, this week we’re getting retrospective.

I could waste away this word count reminiscing about my teenage commitment to the John Marsden books, or tell a cutesy anecdote about the time I met Suzy Cato. I could prattle on about life before periods and cramps when I had a flip phone, or reference the sound of dialup internet connection (maybe chuck in a dig at my brother for incessantly disconnecting and reconnecting to listen to the djjjjjrrrrkrkkrkrlklkjrrkllZZZZzzzzdadingdadinggkrjjj). I could tap into the ‘Only 90s Kids Will Get This’ meme and mention stretchy chokers, jelly sandals, or Spice Girls. But, I’d much rather look back on the cool shit that Nexus has done this year.

Weekly turnaround on a 40 page magazine alongside uni and a social life is haaaaaaaard.

COVER Uncle Yam ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

Editing a magazine while in a school full time for seven weeks has been a hurdle-and-afuckin’-half. It would not have been possible without my Deps, Bron and Lyam. It’s definitely

OFFICES

a case of that trite sentiment ~~if I had the chance, I’d do it all again~~ and it’s mostly because

Ground Floor, Student Union Building

of the writers.

Nexus 2016 has been filled with some incredibly talented people. From first year teenagers

Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton

fizzing with enthusiasm and spamming the Editor inbox, to Real Adult post-grad students avoiding their dissertation to write crass columns under pseudonyms, Nexus has been by students (from every Faculty), for students. I am proud of what we’ve produced this year, what’s in this issue and undoubtedly what will come in next week’s final issue of the year (even so, cross your fingers for us to take out a few Aotearoa Student Press Association awards on October 8th).

So, what are we nostalgic about this issue? Well, Jared Wooldridge looks back on the racism of Disney (p.18), Megan Cullen interviewed former Editor, Dawn Tuffery (p.16), and I sat down with “Old school polite, and old school left wing” Norman Kingsbury (p.20).

ISSUE 23 NOSTALGIA 3 OCTOBER 2016

1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

INCORRECT HOROSCOPE FACT

PATTY IS MY HOMEBOI

VENUS

SIMPLE PERSON

For the Pisces horoscope, Neptune is the god of the waters and seas,

Far out I felt pretty brutal killing ol’ mate Patty Gower in the puzzles.

not Jupiter.

Poor fulla might have got beaten by the ugly stick but he didn’t deserve

“Uranus / don't you know my ass is famous” Lady Gaga, patron Saint of Horoscopes. Brittany

to go that way. R.I.P. I know, Patty’s not bad, “But I'm still in love with Judas baby” Lady Gaga, Judas. Brittany

SUCCESSFULLY RUBBISH GARBAGE BRAIN

STAHP IT TAURANGA FED UP

How is writing for Nexus on the cover of your success issue? You guys are trash.

Tauranga is not Waikato, it’s Bay of Plenty.

“I can't help myself / I'm addicted to a life of material / It's some kind

“Eh, eh / There's nothing else I can say.” Lady Gaga, Eh, Eh (Nothing

of joke / I'm obsessively opposed to the typical” Lady Gaga, The Fame

Else I Can Say). Except that I have terrible memories of living in that

Brittany

hell hole. Brittany

LOVE IS BLIND

WELL DONE NEXUS

TINDERLESS

NIGEL N. IRELAND

I emailed to get a blind date and there aren't even any left. That's bullshit.

Just when I thought you couldn’t set the bar any lower you pull out the

There are WEEKS of uni left.

Success issue. I really like the way the things you call the issue have little

Yeah, I know you wanna get your “ass squeezed by sexy cupid” Lady

if any correlation to what the actual issue is about. As far as I can tell

Gaga, Disco Stick. Brittany

apart from someone “Wanking in George’s room” the closest you get to success is by pointing out that three people graduated and got jobs. How shit are we as a University if success is measured by the fact that some of our graduates can actually get a job? Also what the fuck is up with that

REALITY CHECK

random guy doing YMCA on a mountain? Fuck Nexus.

CRY BABY

If I managed to get a job I’d be “So happy I could die” Lady Gaga, So

The recipe for Edible Sadness was so real and raw I nearly cried. Keep

Happy I Could Die Brittany

it up.

I know, it rocked my world and “left me speechless, so speechless” Lady Gaga, Speechless Brittany

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the

PODCAST

writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent

DEDICATED LISTENER

to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are I think it’s actually pretty cool that the Deputies are doing a podcast and

the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of

crossing over, definitely has potential.

intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to

“Or wear an ear condom next time” Lady Gaga, Judas Brittany

or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

2

N.23 / V.48

publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person,

NOSTALGIA

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Management graduate Stuart Barrass is now a Management Consultant for Ernst

ONYA

WORKING AT EY

& Young (EY) in London.

VOLLEYBALL STARS The UoW men’s volleyball team came second at the National

SAVING THE LANGUAGE

Tertiary Volleyball Champs and the women’s team (pictured)

PhD student Jeremy Tātere MacLeod is

came third.

one of 11 new members for Te Mātāwai.

He’s helping lead the revitalisation of te reo Māori.

NEW BIG ROLE Music graduate and former Hillary scholar Edward King has just been TOP ADULT LEARNERS

appointed associate principal cellist in

Yasmin Awan and Gemma Follas (pictured) and Karauria Ratapu

the Sydney Symphony.

and Tanya Tabuavou each received a 2016 Vice-Chancellor's Adult Learners Award.

Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email studentnews@waikato.ac.nz.

GRADUATE IN DECEMBER

BE YOUR OWN BOSS THIS SUMMER

The B Semester exam timetable is now

Will you finish your studies this year? Even

Do you have an idea for a business or

available at timetable.waikato.ac.nz/

if you don’t know your final grade yet, you

project you want to get off the ground?

exams. For help or advice, email exams@

can still apply to graduate on 13 December

Make it happen with the $5000 Start-Up

waikato.ac.nz or call 07 838 4466 ext 8018.

(Marae) or 14 December (Claudelands).

Waikato scholarship programme. Visit

Log in to iWaikato, click common tasks

waikato.ac.nz/go/start-up for details.

> apply to graduate, to apply before 14

Applications close 7 October.

October.

THE WAIKATO OE

TIME TO VOTE

MAKE YOUR SUMMER COUNT

Travel the world while you study on a

Ready for this year’s local elections?

Want to fast-track your degree, catch up or

Waikato Overseas Exchange. Pay the same

Now’s the time to choose who will lead

try something new? Summer school is the

fees and earn credit while studying at one

and represent your community. Check

way to do it. Applications for T Semester

of our 50+ partner universities worldwide.

your mailbox for voting papers and visit

(7 Nov – 18 Dec) close 4 November. Visit

Open to all faculties and degrees,

myhcc.nz/candidates for candidate

waikato.ac.nz/go/summerschool for more

applications for B Semester close 15

information. Elections take place 8

details.

January 2017. Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/

October.

waikato-oe for more info.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

EXAM TIMETABLE IS OUT

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK: MEET THE CANDIDATES BRONWYN LAUNDRY

After some time spent mingling, campaigning and flash-dancing, the WSU Meet the Candidates Session for 2016 got underway in Level Zero with an address by President-Elect, William Lewis.

Lewis and Hana-Te Kowhai Ohia Treadaway are running uncontested for the roles of President and Vice-President Māori respectively, due largely to the great work and contributions they have made this year.

The event had a record turnout in terms of candidates running, and the speeches were of an extremely high calibre, with a wide variety of thoughts, opinions and ideas being shared with their fellow students. The utmost importance of events such as this in the democratic process was highlighted as it gave the candidates a chance to be heard off of paper and the audience questions gave the students in attendance a chance to really ascertain what the candidates are about. Even if some of them just ended up poorly freestyling.

The high number of candidates seems to reflect a similar competent and professional tone to last Wednesday’s AGM. This suggests the WSU may actually be on the verge of putting the acrimony of the last few years behind them. All of which is great news for students and potential board members but makes for really crappy news stories. Nexus almost misses the days of near punch ups and AGMs where someone grabs a microphone and calls someone else a racist. As an organisation, the WSU is close to reaching a zero deficit budget and coupled with the recently released draft Strategic Plan, 2017 looks to be an exciting year full of hard work and innovation which again, from a news writing perspective sucks.

The WSU elections begin at 10am on Monday the 3rd of October and will remain open until 4pm on Wednesday the 5th of October. Voting is available online.

Students are given one vote each for President, Vice-President and Vice-President Māori respectively and up to eight votes for the Board of Directors.

Editor’s Note: In the interests of democratic process, Nexus remains neutral in all matters related to the WSU election. We do not endorse any particular candidate/s.

4

N.23 / V.48

NOSTALGIA

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

VOX POPS So, Quigsey seems to reckon change is good and will have positive outcomes for students. Since Indula seems slightly less convinced, we thought we’d ask some actual students their thoughts on coughing up for a doctor’s visit.

Ashley Johnson

Bree Hodson

Kaylee Bird

Bachelor of Arts

Social Science

LLB/BMS

Age 20

Age 19

Age 19

Do you currently use the Student Health Service provided by the University, why/why not?

Ashley: Yes, I do use the Student Health Service, because it’s

NEWS AN APPLE A DAY GRAYSON MASLIN

conveniently close, works around my class times and is free. The doctors are really nice too!

Bree: I do, as it’s free and convenient.

Kaylee: I use the Student Health Service when something happens that is bad enough to interfere with my life — maybe twice a year.

Students may soon be lumped with a $10 surcharge at student health but will at least be given longer opening hours and weekends as a trade off.

Currently, appointments are free for students who are enrolled with the Student

Do you think the service could be improved if the students had to pay, if yes, how?

Health Service — largely because the $448 you pay as a compulsory student

Ashley: The only benefit I can think of to making us pay is longer

services levy funds services you may need as a student. Even at $10 the surcharge

hours/open on weekends, which would be great for wait times

for visits would be far less than the cost of most general practices around Hamilton.

and more appointment slots. Otherwise, the actual service we

Vice-Chancellor Professor Neil Quigley says, "The proportion of our students who are actually using our health service is quite small, even though they're all being levied a compulsory charge to fund it."

receive from the doctors shouldn’t change based on how much we pay.

Bree: I definitely agree with opening it over the weekends, as it will mean prescriptions will be ready faster and hopefully it’ll be

"That's one thing that concerns me a little."

easier to get an appointment in winter.

Quigley stated that the current open hours are quite restricted, and would be

Kaylee: Longer hours could be good, particularly during winter

improved under a new co-payment system.

when appointments need to be booked two weeks in advance.

"Our students don't just get sick between nine and five on weekdays," Quigley said.

How do you feel about paying for each time you actually go

"If a student gets sick on the weekend and has to see a doctor, they have to go to

instead of a compulsory levy?

Anglesea [Clinic] and it's a $90 visit, or something like that."

Ashley: I don’t like the idea of paying. I’m a broke student, and

Waikato Students’ Union President Indula Jayasundara said students can see the advantages and disadvantages in the proposed model.

if I’m sick and have to scrounge up $10 to go see the doctor that used to be “free”, I would probably just avoid going at all and use the whole “time heals” mentality. The compulsory levy

"They said actually they wouldn't mind that because [currently] if something

is working fine, just encourage students to use the service more.

happens at the weekend ... they would have to go to the GP in town and that's

Promote, not pay!

going to cost them between $80 and $90."

Bree: I didn’t know that we paid for the health service through a

Jayasundara said that if there were options that meant students would only pay

levy, however, I would not be happy to pay each time as I would

for consults on the weekend, or the opportunity to partner an existing practice for

have to pay each time I have to get a prescription as well as

weekend cover, students would be interested.

having to pay for the prescription at the pharmacy.

Jayasundara also said that he was surprised by the low number of students actually using the healthcare provided on campus, but said they might be put off by the hassle of transferring records or the long wait times associated with the health care services.

At the time of writing a decision is yet to be made on the matter.

Kaylee: Paying each time you go is good because you would only pay if you are actually using the service. Alternatively, people may see it as costing them more (personally I didn’t even know what the student levy covered, I just pay it because we have to) and could put people off using the service at all. Considering healthcare normally is pretty expensive, $10 sounds good to me.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

Indy 4 NZUSA Why the fuck are you wanting to get involved in the soul sucking pit of despair that is the NZUSA Presidency?

When I see an issue I don’t want to run away from it and frankly the job being a ‘soul sucking pit of despair’ is not a good enough reason to turn down an opportunity to help my fellow counterparts. I’ve got so much from Aotearoa New Zealand and if there is one way I could thank New Zealand it would be through contributing my leadership skills to an organisation that has a lot of potential to become a student stronghold.

Seriously though, are you doing this for a Green card because there are girls who would just sham marry you for that (#MarryBron)?

Firstly, you don’t get Green cards in New Zealand — I’m sure you meant America.

There’s a chance Donald Trump might win the Presidential Election, so I won’t be welcome either way. If I did go for a Green card I would aim for Margot Robbie, but for New Zealand, Bron would suffice. (#StagedBlindDate)?

Why should students care about NZUSA? Simply put — it’s their voice.

My Ideas for Change Membership My proposal is simple, and delivers a new voting structure that informs every other change we wish to make. One vote at $5,000, two at $10,000, three at $15,000 and Five at $20,000 plus other incentives and an on-ramp membership at $2,000 with no vote.

Lobbying Effective lobbying requires tangible goals. Those goals should be established through a voting mechanism at the

Why don’t they?

I feel there is a huge disconnect between the language NZUSA speaks and the language where the students’ appeal lies. English is my second language, yet I think I have a better understanding of how to talk to students.

Part of that comes from Student Associations not setting the agenda anymore.

If the NZUSA or Executive Director is setting policy platforms and deciding on a whim what constitutes the “issue of the week” then the tail isn’t just wagging the dog, it’s marching it to be neutered.

If you had a magic wand how would you change NZUSA? First we need to look into is the membership structure. I don’t agree with the notion that the only difference between a full member paying $55,000 and an associate member paying $500 should be two additional votes to elect their NZUSA President.

Secondly, an organisation that ties its members to a 12 month opt out period isn’t one that advocates on behalf of its members, it’s the union version of GE Finance.

NZUSA should have more flexibility around this, not to an extent where NZUSA would be constantly on the run to retain members around the table, but to be held accountable to achieving systematic wins towards crafting a better experience for our counterparts and making our members feel valued.

start of the year creating priorities and a work plan with achievable goals and milestones to ensure progress.

Tracking Reporting should be done to NZUSA by its executive with simple templates filed with adequate time frames, Staff members should be called upon to elaborate as required.

Marketing For every $20,000 membership institution we are going to invest in a “win your tuition for the year (to the value of 8k) free” and show the government that it isn’t actually that hard to provide free education because we just did it.

Inter-Union Hui’s NZUSA could have smaller conferences once or twice a year over a weekend but have those conferences broken into three regions. The Northern Region ending in Waikato, the Central Region from BOP to Wellington and the Southern

Campaigns and strategies have no effective reporting measures or criteria for

Region. Carried out at the institutions own costs but NZUSA

success. An implementation plan should be set out outlining the approximate

could have a role in training and message management.

month/date the outcomes will be achieved and the NZUSA exec should be held accountable to provide routine updates to the stakeholders.

NZUSA should lobby on issues that actually matter to students whilst keeping them realistic and achievable.

Directors, General Managers, advocates, clubs and event support and guidance, culminating in the agenda setting

I have been consulting with other Student Associations asking them to provide feedback on our ‘Vision 2017’ document which outlines a basic set of policies that would make members feel more valued, see that they get both tangible and intangible benefits from being a part of a collective and enables us to restore faith in our National Student Representative Body.

N.23 / V.48

The return of a week long training camp with Presidents, staff and even magazine editors all offered professional

So what happens now?

6

National Training Camp

NOSTALGIA

for the year from the associations. Institutions paying $1,000 are welcome to attend but will not have other costs subsidised and would be excluded from the debate around the setting of the agenda.

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION TOM LOOKS INTO HIS CRYSTAL BALL TOM COLLOPY

SPORTS OPINION LIVERPOOL: THE TEAM TO WATCH IN THE EPL

With under a month until the Cavs and Knicks tip the 2016/2017 NBA season off,

FREDDY WALKER

and with my excitement at an all-time high, I wanted to take the time to give a few of my predictions for the upcoming season.

The Indiana Pacers will return to the Eastern Conference Finals

The English Premier League is well and truly underway this

Paul George and the Pacers may be seeing their old foe Lebron James in the

season. Manchester City have recorded the perfect start to the

Eastern Conference Finals this season. The Pacers have made some great additions

campaign, winning six from six, but it is my team Liverpool who

to their roster this offseason with Jeff Teague, Thaddeus Young, Al Jefferson and

are the team to watch.

Aaron Brooks being the notable players to join the team. This is a team that is going to score a lot of points as they will look to play an up-tempo style of offense.

Overall, other than a slight lack of three-point shooting and their bigs being a little undersized I like the look of this team. They have the roster to make a deep run in the playoffs and get back to the Eastern Conference Finals.

We attack, attack, attack…

Liverpool have got one of the most dynamic attacking systems in the league. We press high up the pitch meaning that opposition defenders don’t get much time on the ball and often make mistakes. Jurgen Klopp has really turned this team into a bunch

T wolves will be in playoff contention

of guys with massive engines, meaning they run all game long.

The Minnesota Timberwolves haven’t made the playoffs since the golden days of

It leads to goal scoring opportunities and in general is great to

Kevin “Big Ticket” Garnett in the 2003/2004 NBA season in which they finished

watch for a neutral.

atop the Western Conference. KG was the league’s MVP that year and he led the T wolves to the Western Conference Finals. Unfortunately KG won’t be there this season after announcing his retirement from the game, but I do think it will be the season Minnesota return to the playoffs. With a new head coach in Tom Thibedeau and an exciting young roster the Timberwolves will come into their own. They have a number of offensive weapons and if the can improve defensively and bring a level of consistency to their play then they can take that eighth seed in the West.

Don’t forget this is a team that pulled off some massive scalps last season beating the Warriors, Raptors, Clippers and the Thunder.

James Harden for MVP James Harden will play the point guard position this season for my Rockets and it could just be the season the beard becomes the league’s MVP. The floor is going to be a lot better spaced this season with the additions of Eric Gordon and Ryan Anderson, which suits Harden’s style of play. He will continue to penetrate inside but have more space in the lane to either take the high percentage shot or kick

You can always count on goals…

This one goes both ways. Because of the aforementioned attacking system, we are always likely to score goals. Add to that the fact that we are always prone to at least one defensive brain fade a game; no matter what, Liverpool games will include goals, and plenty of them. If you struggle to watch football because of the 0-0 draws, there is nothing to worry about with Liverpool.

Our manager is a nutcase Jurgen Klopp has got to be the single most charismatic manager in football. The way he screams, runs and jumps all over the place is a spectacle in itself. The man is hilarious in press conferences, and always seems to have a smile on his face. It’s really, really hard not to like him. Also, he’s turning Liverpool into a top four side, which will always endear a new manager to fans.

the ball out to an open guy on the perimeter. It will also lead to him moving the

Anfield is a wicked stadium

ball more as he has more offensive options. Eric and Ryan are legitimate scorers

On my dream list of places to go, Anfield is right up there. The

and have the ability to put up 20+ on any given night which can benefit his stat

history that surrounds the great stadium and the way that fans

line in terms of assists. I just see James playing efficiently this year by trusting his

file in game after game makes for one of — if not the best —

teammates more on offense, turning the ball over less, creating high percentage

atmosphere in world football. Hearing the faithful sing ‘You’ll

opportunities for himself and playing smart defence. This will help stake his claim

Never Walk Alone’ still sends shivers down the spine every week

to be not only the Rocket’s MVP but the League’s MVP.

before kick-off.

7

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

Meet the Candidates

Anyone can vote for one Vice-President and up to eight Directors in the Elections for the 2017 WSU Board of Directors. Look out for more voting info on the WSU Facebook page.

Kaelyn Kingi

Shaun Letcher

Nominee for Vice-President and Director

Nominee for Vice-President and Director

I don’t run very often but when I do, it’s to be the next

Hey there, For those of you that don’t know me I’m

Waikato Students’ Union Vice President. Hi, my name is

Shaun, I’m in my fourth year at uni studying towards a

Kaelyn Kingi and I am a director on the WSU’s Executive

pol sci and law conjoint. I have already been a director

Board of Directors. Have you ever heard of a ‘lollipop moment’? For those who

for the WSU and worked to increase library hours, get unlimited internet,

haven’t, a lollipop moment is where you do something small for someone and it

and generally try to improve the uni experience for all. I’d like to take that

makes a big difference. What if I told you that by giving you a lollipop, I could

further though, some say to do that we need to make Waikato great again,

transform your university experience? How? Well, for the past year I have been

but building a wall between us and Auckland isn’t the way to do it. What we

helping the WSU team design a New Vision for Campus, where student issues are

need its better Communication between the WSU and students, Consistency

turned into student dreams. Imagine the University of Waikato having all of the

in our decisions and actions, and to work towards being a better Community

services that you want: a student bar, cheaper food, a pop-up retailer and all sorts!

on campus.

Come and grab a lollipop and I can help make your campus vision come true!

I’d like to start working towards these ideals immediately, and I’ll start by

Vote Kaelyn Kingi for your next WSU Vice-President!

talking to you, the students. Feel free to add me on FB, or to talk with me

#KaelynKingi4VP #WaikatoStudentsUnion

on campus.

Cassidy Temese Nominee for Vice-President and Director Te Ranga Ngaku Inc My name is Cassidy Temese, and I am your best candidate

Carl Brandt Nominee for Vice-President I’m Carl, a fourth year law and business student who can usually be spotted procrastinating somewhere on

for WSU Vice President 2017. I’m a rural Māori boy from Te

Level Four of the library. I’m throwing my name in the

Awamutu, who decided to leave the farm and pursue a Management Degree,

hat exclusively for Vice President this year, and reckon I’m a pretty solid bet

Majoring in Finance and Reo Māori.

if you’re looking for somewhere to place your vote.

I am an approachable and active leader within the university through the

I'm a big believer in the strategic plan developed by the current WSU

following positions: Co-Chairman of Te Ranga Ngaku Inc. (Māori Management

committee under the watchful eyes of Indula and William. In order for these

Student Assn), representing the student perspective on the Management Student

awesome ideas (including an on-campus bar!) to come into fruition, it'll be

Experience Committee and Management Faculty Board, I am also the Management

of extreme importance that the board remains strong in 2017. I worked on

Faculty Student Representative on the University Academic Board. I uphold high

the executive board of the Waikato University Law Students Association in

ethical values, and am passionate about advocating the student voice. I believe the

bringing the best year yet to law students in 2016, have real world experience

position of Vice President provide the perfect platform to do so, with the scope of

as a law clerk at one of Waikato's largest commercial law firms, and have

supporting the entire university student population.

been involved in a number of small business initiatives. WSU needs a VP who

If you want the best student experience at Waikato Uni, vote Cassidy for VP 2017!

Connor Schween Nominee for Vice-President and Director “Don’t throw your vote away, vote for Connor today!”

can get shit done. I've got the skills and commitment to make it happen.

Sianiti Bulisala Nominee for Vice-President and Director Bula Vinaka! My name is Sianiti (Sia) Bulisala and I am running as a candidate for the WSU 2017

Hello! WSU is undergoing substantial changes in the next

Vice President position. Three years ago, I left the

few years, with the new vision for campus. You probably

confinements of my home to set off on my university journey in a place

have not read the little yellow book which talks all about it, but I have! And I believe

where I knew no one. The place I chose was Waikato University, and that is

a strong leadership team is required to make this new vision come true and make

one decision, I will not regret. This university continues to be an environment

changes that will improve Waikato’s experiences for students like you and me. I

where opportunities to meet new people and get involved in new things

have been in many leadership roles both throughout my High school years which

collide to provide an unforgettable student experience, that could only get

include Head student, BOT, Sport Captain and 21 class reps at university so far.

better from here. My experience as RA and SRA at the halls along with being

Being part of WSU is a great opportunity and I would love to represent you as I

a part of a few student run clubs has provided with the tools I believe that

love working with people, and I am excited to hear your Ideas on how to improve

is needed in a Vice President. It would be a blessing to lead this awesome

our already great University.

community as your VP. Vinaka Vakalevu.

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Phillip Mahe

Jane Gibson

Nominee for Director

Nominee for Director

WISA / Young Engineers Society

Hey, I'm Jane and I'm studying Entrepreneurship and English.

Team Francis and Phillip

I'm a smoothie-loving film enthusiast who owns too many

Chur toko! My name is Phillip Mahe, but most just

sweaters. You might have seen me sporting one of those

know me as Phil or Chilly Philly. I am currently in third year of my engineering

stunning yellow shirts during Ori (occasionally armed with a water gun) or behind

degree majoring mechanical. I am very friendly, the cheesy smile says it all,

the barbecue — I've been a WSU volly all year, which has been epic. I've been lucky

but yes I do smile a lot as some people have told me but am defs easy

enough to see the awesome passion the 2016 crew have had for the WSU Vision,

to talk to about anything. Things I enjoying doing are playing sports such

and I'm not only stoked with what they've achieved, but inspired. I'm a massive

as rugby #Northland #Upthetanis. I also enjoy playing guitar and going for

believer in people's power, but also that we need a voice. I like to talk, but I'm

runs around uni.

here to listen too and lend my voice to yours. I'm currently on exchange to UCSD

If you couldn’t tell already Franno and I are going to campaign together, where we hope to get students views across and made known to the top dogs. We plan to help make your experience at uni much more enjoyable by

teaching Americans about pineapple lumps, but I'm really excited about coming back for 2017—it's full of potential, and whether it's as a volly or Director, I can't wait to be part of it.

creating events throughout year, and we’ll push for a bakery on campus. We understand that students need more pies and pissups!!

Nicola Smith Nominee for Director I enjoy long walks around Village green, college hall dining

Charmaine Riley

and leisurely visits to the library for group meetings. As a

Nominee for Director Te Whakahiapo / WULSA

new student I represent the halls, I represent the freshers and I want to represent you. These first hand student life experiences have helped

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak,

inspire some fresh ideas for the university that may seem minor to older students.

Courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”

Ideas like first year mixers to help meet new people, setting up profiles to find the

I am an approachable person who is motivated by fun and makes sure everyone else has fun with me!! My aim this year for WSU is to use my experience taken from many areas to “stand up and speak” for the students of Waikato but also be prepared to “sit down and listen” to deliver what is wanted by you. I strive to be diverse and have an eclectic nature therefore

right tutors and lecturers for you. Also having orientation tours run by faculties for a variety of classes. All these ideas work to provide ease of mind solutions to existing problems. I'm approachable so if you see me about with my half up half down hairstyle and over the top smile come for a yarn. I mean it's hard to be intimidating at my height after all I'm 5"3 and the only vote you need.

my door is always open. This ensures I continuously learn skills to help others.

From a young age I have always been into helping others, I am currently

Alec Wilson

sitting on the Māori Law Society (Te Whakahiāpo) and will be on the executive

Nominee for Director

board for WULSA (General Law Society) in 2k17. When I am not involved with societies or studying hard (I know that’s all of you, lol), I work as a part-time

Help me to help you and your university experience, by

Personal Trainer and Volunteer Firefighter, both things I love to do and am

voting for me on your WSU board of directors for 2017. I

passionate about.

bring a fresh set of ideas and perspectives to make Waikato the bumbling campus it should be, while making sure every student has a positive experience during their time at Waikato Uni. So vote Alec as a director to make

Ari Lewis

Waikato great again.

Nominee for Director You may not really have an appreciation for what the Waikato Students’ Union is or what it actually does on your behalf, and that’s not your fault. You possibly

Cameron Harper Nominee for Director

weren’t taught much about civic life at home or in school and now you’re

Say no to Communism! The Reds are under the bed at the

being expected to take an avid interest. In a nutshell the WSU exists to

WSU and they’re trying to build a pillow-fort. Meet me,

ensure we have the safest, fairest and most enjoyable student experience

your fort-buster-in-chief. Want some evidence? Every year,

possible. It’s also here to guarantee the student voice is heard in university

the WSU pays thousands of dollars of your money to a Communist organisation,

matters because, believe it or not, we are not the first consideration by the

the NZ Union of Students Associations, who spend most of their time calling the

powers that be! My priority will be improving clubs. There is a lot to do, and

government meanies, and don’t seem to do anything for students directly. It’s

I’m the first to admit I’ll need all the help I can get to do it but we can do

basically the Union of Soviet Socialist Student Associations — and even though we

better! The majority of the extra-curricular activities on campus stem directly

left, the Communists at the WSU joined up again! I’m here to change that — after

from student organisations and clubs because like every other aspect of the

all, I hate commies. Here’s a better idea — let’s spend those thousands of dollars on

university experience, it’s all about making things happen for yourself.

beer and pizza, and throw a party to celebrate the end of the Cold War! After all, the WSU is funded by you, and I’ll make damn sure you get the benefits from it. If you hate Communism, Vote Harper!

9

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

William Takes the Wheel: Meet your President-Elect I’m really looking forward to leading a fresh team into 2017! The WSU had a great year. We are developing a strong studentfocused purpose for our organisation and making tough decisions to balance the 2017 budget The team spent a lot of time consulting with students to deliver WSU’s New Vision for Campus, which has gone on to form a new Strategic Plan bursting with ideas and opportunities to reshape campus. We know that we can strengthen our relationship with the University and do so much more for students on campus.2017 is going to be all about building relationships, developing credible implementation plans and making ambitious investment in exciting projects.

Shivani Rao

Calum Hughes

Nominee for Director

Nominee for Director

Hi! I’m Shivani Rao, I’m a first year engineering student,

Running for WSU Director wasn't always something

and am applying for the position of director on the WSU

I saw myself doing. To be honest after all those years

board. As a first year student, I’m campaigning foremost

in school councils you kind of get over sitting in

as a friend. Being a new student, I understand the sometimes difficult and even

meetings and not having any impact on anything. However over the last

isolated integration process into the university environment. And although change

couple of years at Uni I have been privileged to see and experience first

is hard I believe it can be good and empowering, I love the WSU New Vision for

hand many of the ways the WSU helps students academically, socially and

the Campus and I really support and want to help make this a reality for our

even to an extent, financially. I would love to be in a position to give back

students. A university should encapsulate this idea of diversity and universality.

to the University and help next year's students have as much of a g-time as

As a person, I strive to be an advocate, mentor and above all, friend to all students

I have had here so far. University is a time for us all to work hard and play

at our university. I envision a unified campus that boasts unity and a community

harder and I am more than happy to use my knowledge of Hall's life, my

atmosphere over individualism and endeavour to reflect these concepts and

newly minted driver's license or my outstanding snag barbequing ability to

believe that I can embody these ideas of adaptability and impact.

help you get through O-week and the year to come.

Soni Samra

Moses Simpson

Nominee for Director

Nominee for Director

WISA

Bikes on Campus

I’m Soni Samra. An average second-year student just like

A Bloke, A Beard, A Bike Shop.

each and every one of you. Born and brought up in Tauranga,

I have been at the University of Waikato for four years

moved to Hamilton to be a part of the university experience with you guys. My

now and I have worked my way through my bachelors, my honours and now

out-going and bubbly personality is what catches everyone’s attention. I’m easily

my master’s degree, I know that I wouldn’t have been able to get through

approachable and don’t bite so you can come talk to me anytime. I love to dance

the university without help from WSU, so now I want to be to give a bit

so I am part of the ‘Waikato Bhangra Club’ here on campus. I have a tendency of

back to the WSU and its members. At the end of 2014 I realised that the

helping everyone when needed and will always continue to do so regardless of

University of Waikato needed a bike shop on campus to make cycling to and

anything that happens. This is why I’m part of ‘AIESEC’ this semester and have

from the campus easy and convenient. I saw the opportunity and knew that

been part of ‘WISA’ for over a year. Just like any one of you, I’m a small town girl

by working hard it would happen and now Bikes on Campus has been going

trying to make an impact on the world but first starting from our own backyards

strong ever since. This attitude of ‘seeing a problem and finding a solution’

at the university and home.

is what I will bring to the role as director if appointed to help make the university a place where students are proud to be here.

Robbie Mercer Nominee for Director

Shiv Gounder

Innovation Station

Nominee for Director

Over the past year and a half, I’ve taken joy in being part

My name is Shiv, I am 18 years old and I'm a first year

of the Waikato student community. As a fresher arriving at

student. Currently I am studying a Bachelor in sociology

College Hall I took as my duty to get involved with student culture, whether it

and a major in Law, my dream is to be a criminal lawyer.

be playing inter-hall sports, being part of the clubs on campus or partaking in

I’m an outgoing person who enjoys hanging out with friends, living life with

various late night student activities. I always appreciated these aspects of being

no regrets and just making the most of life. I work at McDonald's at the base

a student but felt that there was much room for improvement. If I’m telling the

and earn an honest amount of pay which gets me through university, I also

truth, applying to become a Director hadn’t really crossed my mind. It wasn’t until

like to make new friends no matter what race and or gender they are. I self

one of my friends conned me into signing up that I realised this is something I am

proclaim myself as an entertainer because I enjoy making people laugh so

actually passionate about. For me, being on the Board of Directors is about having

they can have a good time with the environment around them. I would like to

a positive impact on student life. I’ve always been driven to make a difference here

be a director of the board because I know I can take up the tasks given to me,

and being on the Board is my chance to do so.

To make me friends and socialize events around university.

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Fraser Clement

Francis Bridge

Nominee for Director

Nominee for Director

My name is Fraser and I am running for WSU director as I believe that Waikato Uni can become a top choice for students

Young Engineers Society Team Francis and Phillip

wanting to have the full university experience. By aiming for

Howsit! My names Francis Bridge (Franno), I’m also in

the reputation of Otago and coming just short of the burning couches and collapsed

my third year of mechanical engineering at Waikato same as Phil. Outside of

balconies, I believe we can create a place where students are excited for the student

engineering I brew beer and bourbon, gym and I also enjoy jamming guitar

life that uni should be. By voting me onto the board, you are ensuring a friendly face

and spinning yarns with the boys. #northlandsucks #upthemooloos

to represent your voice to the uni while also guaranteeing that big business (the uni) doesn't smother our wildest desires. I am a strong confident speaker who isn't afraid to break a few eggs in search of the greater good. Please consider me for WSU as I believe I will be an asset to student life here in the Waikato. Up the mighty Mooloos!

If you couldn’t tell already Phil and I are going to campaign together, where we hope to get students views across and made known to the top dogs.

We plan to help make your experience at uni much more enjoyable by creating events throughout year, and we’ll push for a bakery on campus. We understand that students need more pies and pissups!!

Anna Barhorst Nominee for Director

Kim Jong

“Vote for Your Voice” Hey Waikats. My name is Anna Barhorst

Nominee for Director

and this election I would like to have the opportunity to

MCSA

represent your voice. I am running for director and would love the opportunity to work with students to improve the future of Waikato University. I am currently WSU volunteer studying earth science hoping to specialise in hydrology, and as a director I would like to focus on diversity, environmental issues and would like to hear what students would like to happen to improve the university for future Waikat’s. To see what I am all about I am always around the university normally around level zero, so PLEASE feel free to approach me and find out more about what I will try to accomplish around the university and even challenge me to why I set these goals to achieve. Vote ANNA for Director and Let Your Voice Be Heard.

Kim. 22. Currently in my third year studying Marketing & PR at Waikato University. I’m an easy-going team player who has reliability, dedication, and drive to offer. I’ve recently had a bit of time free up in my schedule so I thought it was time I took on a bit more responsibility. I am looking for some part-time sugar babies to keep me company while my friend is out of town. All your transport needs will be taken care of and you’ll be fed. Sugar babies are entitled to $10 on their bus card a week and hot chips (must not use bus money to see other mami’s).

Sugar babies must be 18+ and at least a 3/10.

Interested? You know what to do. Make the right choice (; Oh wait… dammit! Wrong profile…

Deane Mason-Loveridge Nominee for Director If you just want it short and simple: with me as a WSU

Emily Ruane

director for 2017, you’re going to have an awesome year. Just

Nominee for Director

like Martin Luther King, I have a dream, but my dream is for

Te Waiora

Waikato University students from all backgrounds, ages, ethnicities, and genders to love this place as much as I do! This university is whatever you make it out to be — I only hope I can help you make it out to be the best. In the words of Bob Marley; “The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.” In that regard, I want to be the greatest man alive, and I can do that by giving you all the best possible university experience!

Hello, Talofa, Kon’nichiwa, tēnā koutou katoa. “Emily my name is, running for Director I am.” Yes! That’s right!

This little pocket rocket is willing to catch that WSU train to advocate for you #GreatThingsComeInSmallPackages. *Caution* GOT reference follows: Born and bred “Far” North of the wall, ko Te Aupōuri me Ngāti Kuri ōku iwi. Recently — graduated with my BTCHG degree, currently — in my 4th year of study, at the moment — studying Te

Alex Winiata

Reo Māori, next year — skies the limit!

Nominee for Director

Being Te Waiora Co-President has taught me the importance of working with

Hello everyone, my name is Alex Winiata and I’m currently

selfless is my motivator, and when you’re up against the wall and feeling the

a third year BCS student majoring in Marketing. I have

pressure, it is the PASSION you have that will see you through to the end.

never been a part of the WSU however, it is my last year at

Friendly and down to earth, so please don’t be shy to say Hi.

a diverse range of people and cultures. Giving back is my PASSION, being

university next year so I thought why not. I’m also a good option for these reasons: I am always keen to get involved with campus life, I am currently working 2 jobs within the university so I know the ins and outs of the place, and I am great at organising events for students. We have it pretty sweet here in Hamilton but there are always things to improve. If you are keen on having a down to earth dude, that can help you have a better time at university, I am that dude!

Voting for the WSU Board 2017 opens at 10.00am, Monday 3rd October and closes at 4pm, Wednesday 5th October.

Visit www.waikato.ac.nz/wsu-elections/ to vote.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE RORY DAVIS

Typically I look forward to watching a film on a Friday night. Movies offer a temporary escape from the asylum that is Hamilton, they plunge us into a world that is far more entertaining than the one we are used to. But not this one, instead 10 Cloverfield Lane made me feel somewhat grateful that the reality of being a poor student isn’t nearly as bad as watching this movie. Perhaps I’m being too harsh, or perhaps the movie really wasn’t that good. The movie really wasn’t that good.

While this film certainly has the potential to provide its audiences with a refreshing approach to the thriller genre, the film’s characters and narrative both lack any real depth. It was a genuine struggle to feel any real empathy for the film’s characters, with only a small handful of scenes creating any real sense of emotion. Credit where credit is due though, I will say that Mary Winstead, John Goodman and John Gallagher do a fantastic job at playing their respected roles. In all honesty the performances of Winstead, Goodman and Gallagher are the only thing that keeps this film from being completely unengaging. So if nothing else the film does have that going for it.

While the basic plot of the film is easy to appreciate as a premise, the film’s

GAME BIOSHOCK: THE COLLECTION

cinematography and screenplay take away any chances of cinematic success. If you are a fan of the thriller genre then you might well like this film, other than that I can’t really recommend it.

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Keeping with the nostalgia theme here, we have a remastered collection of one of gaming’s greatest achievements: the Bioshock trilogy. These three games are as good today as they made by 2K and Ken Levine. The trilogy combines brilliant and

FILM THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS

insanely clever storytelling with some of the best characters

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

were when they were first released, the first one being in 2008,

you’re likely to see in the medium, and combines it with a firstperson shooter with horror overtones in what is one of the most acclaimed series of all time.

Ever wondered what your pets get up to at home? Not cats, of course, they just

The Remaster doesn’t add an awful lot, merely the chance to play it for people with the latest generation consoles. For everyone who has it on PC, the remaster is free. The graphics, already terrific, are improved, and there’s a pretty interesting commentary by the creators available to collect throughout.

sleep the whole time, but other pets? Well, wonder no more, The Secret Life of Pets is about to Toy Story your animal companions for you. Light, fluffy and animated, it’s a perfectly pleasant movie, particularly if you were to go accompanied by a child, or if you are a child at heart. It’s nothing new, and it’s awfully similar to another animated movie dealing with a similar subject, but it’s an enjoyable experience.

But easily, the main draw here is just the chance to revisit the

So we start with Max, a Jack Russell Terrier, who’s living the high-life in New York

stunning settings, memorable characters, and three of the most

City with the other animals in his building. When his owner brings home a stray,

intelligent and emotional stories ever put in a video game.

he doesn’t take a liking to the new pet and the attention he receives, which leads

For those who haven’t played the series, for the first two games you find yourself trapped in the nightmarish hellscape of Andrew Ryan’s underwater city of Rapture, an attempt at an objectivist

to one attempting to get rid of the other and accidentally becoming abandoned — wait, is this actually just Toy Story with pets?! Well, essentially, although Kevin Hart’s Snowball does inject some liveliness to the proceedings.

utopia. For Infinite, you take to the clouds in the floating city of

In the end though, it’s much like all adequately made, family-oriented films. It’s not

Columbia, another utopia where the sheen of the city hides the

exactly groundbreaking, like Zootopia or the film it apes of, Toy Story, but it’s still

disgusting dirt underneath. The combat is good, but the story

entertainment for the whole family, in the same vein as Despicable Me. It’s cute,

across all three games and the DLC comprises one of, if not the

fluffy, and adorable. While it might not be original, the script can still be funny,

best, you'll ever find in a game. My personal favourite games of

and the voice-actors give it their all the whole way through (Kevin Hart is always

all time, for anyone who doesn’t have the originals, I heartily

game). There’s obvious heart here, and while it’s not exactly original, fresh or new,

recommend picking up Bioshock: The Collection.

anthropomorphic animals will always be at least an entertaining trip to the cinema.

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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK CANDY BY LUKE DAVIES BRITTANY ROSE

Based on the real life experiences of author Luke Davies, Candy explores the emotionally volatile love triangle involving an unnamed narrator, his lover Candy, and heroin.

The writing is punchy and direct, creating beautiful, visceral imagery. Without flowery language or over-wrought ramblings the strength is in the 'realness' of the characters who live in a spiralling state of hedonism gone wrong. Prostitution, drug dependency and emotional abuse are the base of the toxic, destructive relationship between the narrator and Candy. Although focused (at least partly) on love, this is not a romantic story, it is a tragedy of dependency and addiction.

I'm an emotional reader, and tend to connect strongly with characters, so I fell in love with the characters at the same time that I despised them, understanding their motives but resenting their behaviour. I have not bawled my eyes out quite as much as I did when Candy was in labour while the narrator is focused on getting a fix.

The love between the two protagonists is doomed from the beginning, and heroin

YOUTUBE THE HILLYWOOD SHOW JARED WOOLDRIDGE

destroys any speck of beauty in their lives. Every attempt to get clean and live a 'normal' life where true love overcomes all obstacles is obliterated by the crippling presence of heroin, but you can't help but hope they will make it through together.

There’s nothing better than being a fan of something, and interacting with other fans. Sports, TV, comics, movies, doesn’t matter. Fans can be very creative, and The Hillywood Show passionate people can utilise their talents for something they

TV SERIES FEAR THE WALKING DEAD

love. The two sisters, Hannah and Hilly Hindi, have produced

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

on YouTube is a prime example of how great it can be when

a series of YouTube song parodies so successful that they’ve attracted the stars of the very shows they’re parodying. That should tell you something of how good they are.

So the basic MO here is this: the two sisters produce a parody video for a film or TV series they happen to be fans of (for instance Doctor Who, Sherlock, Warm Bodies etc) in the form of a song parody. They all fit perfectly too, I believe the personal favourite for matching music-movie would have to go to ‘Let It Go’, with Lord of the Rings. The new lyrics

Fear the Walking Dead is only a few weeks away from finishing its second season, and so far, I’d be happy if it didn’t get a third season. What seemed like an exciting prospect back before the beginning of series one (even if zomb– sorry, “walkers”, are a little oversaturated nowadays) has turned into a plodding, meandering series with characters it’s almost impossible to be interested in. Sure, it’s still got some of the thrills and gore of its parent series, it just doesn’t have the same calibre to stand on its own.

are always incredibly clever as well, finding more and more

It’s a prequel show, set on the other side of the United States to The Walking Dead,

creative ways to link the songs to the source material.

dealing with the beginning and immediate aftermath of the zombie outbreak.

It’s so much more than that, though. It’s the performance of the two sisters. They both sing, dance, perform in every video, in costume and everything, dressed up as the characters.

And damn, if they don’t pull off each and every character remarkably well, with the Hindi sisters making some pretty

While it introduces, bungles, and introduces yet more interesting concepts during its first season, the second season — well, it continues to do much of the same thing. The season premiere starts out with an interesting prospect, taking the zombie apocalypse to the high seas, but that also proves to be a downfall, as they export the dull meandering and terrible family drama to the ocean as well.

good Winchester brothers. Part of the fun also is spotting the

Some of the characters here are interesting and worth the show, like Strand. A

cameos that pop up in some of the later videos. Check out

mysterious character back when we first met him, we got to learn more about

The Hillywood Show channel of YouTube, if you’re a fan of

his background starting in season two. Unfortunately, he’s surrounded by morons

anything they parody, there’s a good chance you’ll be a fan

who can’t get over petty squabbles to be able to effectively deal with, you know,

of Hillywood as well.

THE END OF THE WORLD. But hey, Cliff Curtis is doing his best to be a good dad.

During THE END OF THE WORLD. It’s full of interesting ideas, but it’s just a poor extension of the universe.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

AUTEUR MEMORY LANE RICHARD SWAINSON

In the 1970s, when I grew up, television was dominated by

As mother would have been too young to have experienced

material that was made in earlier eras. Looking back, a lot

it in 1935, she presumably saw some reissue, a couple of

of the shows and films were only really a handful of years

years later, at one or more of the cinemas owned by her

old, products of the 1960s, but to a young mind, without

aunt. I was roughly the same age as her when I first watched

any chronological perspective, this was a difficult fact

it. It changed my life.

to grasp. There was a vague feeling that what you were

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watching somehow did not reflect the "present day" but

There's no doubt that part of the attraction of Hollywood

exactly how old the show was was a mystery. When it came

studio films is their simplistic morality and ability to

to programmes like Hogan's Heroes or Dad's Army the effect

manipulate the emotions. Much of the 1930s and 1940s

was doubled: not only were shows themselves repeats,

cinema I consumed voraciously as a child had that appeal.

originally broadcast in some unknown "other" time, but they

Sometimes this frustrated my father, a man with a healthy

were clearly set during something called World War II, a

disrespect for American bullshit. It was only much later that

time when your own parents were themselves children.

I understood his point.

My specific enthusiasm for old films grew in part out of

Hollywood's version of history is not to be taken literally.

the fact that many of the movies that were broadcast then

It's the stuff of dreams and mythology. By all means enjoy

dated from the 1930s, to the era of my mother's childhood.

Gone With the Wind but don't mistake it for an accurate

As Errol Flynn was a particular favourite of hers growing

representation of slavery or the American Civil War. Don't

up, so he became a favourite of mine, the first movie star

confuse the blundering Nazis of Casablanca for the real

I was able to identify and identify with. Captain Blood, the

thing. In 1942, actual Nazis were manning the gas chambers,

film that made Flynn a star, seemed like something close to

not "rounding up the usual suspects". Nostalgia is best in

perfection: a swashbuckling epic with plenty of swordplay.

small doses. —

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE REMEMBER THE RACISM JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Interestingly enough South Park started its latest season dealing with many similar themes. The people of the town are so fed up with the American election (as is the rest of the world, thank you America), and Jared Wooldridge is our most adamant defendant when it comes

some people turn to Member Berries; cute little food berries which

to children’s films. However, this week the history major puts on his

tell you all about the things you love from days gone past. ‘Member

critical hat and discusses the illusion of nostalgia and our tendency to

Chewbacca? ‘Member Ghostbusters? Many of us remember those things,

glamourise the past, particularly when it comes to films. But can we

or have our own equivalent of them. Goodbye Pork Pie? Billy T. James?

enjoy those long-winded trips down memory lane?

Come on, classic! Back then entertainment had class, much like society. It was traditional, a good wholesome family environment. What isn’t there

Recently I’ve been on placement in a school, and whilst flicking through a history source analysis booklet I came across this quote: “we are naturally prone to applaud the times behind us and to vilify the present”.

It’s not hard to understand this sentiment; we don’t live in the world of

16

to be nostalgic about? Ah, but you see, the Member Berries have other fond memories for you too. ‘Member when marriage was between a man and a woman? Ah yes, those good old days, they were sure — wait, what the hell was that last one?!

the past, we live in the world of the present, with only the future to look

It might go without saying, but when we think back nostalgically, we

ahead to. And with a world stuck in an incessant cycle of turmoil as we

have an unfortunate tendency to remember only the positive things.

have now, with seemingly little hope for this to change in the future, why

Even the stuff we lived through, every now and then some of us can

not take a trip back to the past? It was a time without a Syrian refugee

look back and only recall it in a glowing light. But, hang on a second,

crisis, without North Korea letting off nuclear weapons all over the place,

why is this unfortunate? What is wrong with thinking this way, of using

without a Trump or this current wave of nationalism. In other words, a

the past as an escape? Because for the simple reason many people don’t

simpler, better time, surely? Well, no. I’m a history major, you can’t sneak

simply want to escape into the past, they legitimately believe the past is

that bull past me. We love revisiting the fond memories, the movies, the

better, and wish to bring it back. They’re trapped in their happy, nostalgic

stories, the spirit of the past, but the past was a horrible, horrific place.

feelings, given the protection of being able to live in a world where many

Those memories we revisit, the nostalgia, those of a time before we were

of the problems of the past have been improved upon. Let me try burst

born, they’re just an illusion.

that bubble a bit for them.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

Disney, for instance. Happy, saccharine, endlessly cheery and uplifting.

it was predominantly better for a specific group of people. We put our

Happy endings all around, love is in the air and whatnot. Also, quite

beer goggles on to look at history, and think “oh, what a heart-warming

incredibly racist at times, but our nostalgia for these treasured parts of

tale of a cute elephant achieving despite the odds”, instead of thinking

our youth can blind us to this fact, and we’re left wrapped in the warm,

“wow, cultural norms were a lot different back then, I’m glad society isn’t

fuzzy vibes. For instance, who remembers Dumbo? The heart-wrenching

this bad anymore.” We gotta stop getting drunk on nostalgia.

tale of an elephant who doesn’t fit in, and ultimately overcomes his naysayers and gets his happy ending. Going back and watching it, you might want to look at the crows again. Why? I’ll give you a hint, in the script the lead crow's name was actually, seriously, Jim Crow. For those unfamiliar with history, Jim Crow laws enforced racial segregation in the United States after the slaves were freed. Sure, the crows are just racial stereotypes, but that’s not that bad, is it? Like the racial stereotypes of Native Americans in Peter Pan? Then there are all those Siamese cats, and Aladdin. However, the worst of the worst you probably haven’t ever seen, or even heard of, before: Song of the South. You know, the one with the ex-slave, singing about the good ol’ days down on the plantation, getting all nostalgic about slavery.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing all nostalgia. There are still those things we can look back fondly on and wish we had back, like reading the Harry Potter books for the first time again. But where there is the issue is that we have to remember that missing the good old days brings with it everything that made those days backwards and oppressive. Speaking of a time when same-sex marriage wasn’t legal, when marriage was “traditional”, you must also remember that homosexuality was illegal in large parts of the world, and even in supposedly civilised Western culture, was treated as a disease, with chemical castration as a cure. That’s more fitting for the Dark Ages, and yet here it is in living memory. We shouldn’t forget the past, but we can’t just idolise and applaud it either to escape our crummy world. Instead,

So movies weren’t as PC back then as they are today, this doesn’t prove

we should take heed from the warning now put in front of some Tom and

anything. Well, it shows the attitudes of the society as a whole at the

Jerry cartoons from the 1940’s: some of these cartoons are a product of

time, and to be fair, it was a society of prejudice back then. Prejudice

their times, they say. These depictions were wrong then and wrong now,

still exists, but at least we’re more aware of it now, and are trying to do

but, as Warner Bros goes on to say, they’re being presented as they were,

something about it. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t to say we’ve solved the

because to do otherwise would be the same as claiming these prejudices

problems of the past, we still have a long way to go with racism, but any

never existed. And that’s the part to remember; remember the past, but

argument about “the good ol’ days” must accept the fact that, you know,

take off the rose-tinted glasses when you do.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE NEXUS RETROSPECTIVE: DAWN TUFFERY, EDITOR OF 2005

BY MEGAN CULLEN

Nothing makes you feel more nostalgic than hitting a milestone. In my case,

Nexus also had a lot of cat pianos. For the longest time there was one in every

I’m about to turn 30, which is a very strange sentence to write. I’m surprisingly

magazine, a bunch of cats lined up and held in place according to the natural

ok about it, but then, I’ve still got a couple of months to go so the nervous

timbre of their voices, with their tails underneath a keyboard so that they cry

breakdown about not having done anything with my life has plenty of time to

when a key is pressed. I mean, I don’t know either, some kind of vintage meme?

kick in. But nothing makes you feel older than realising it’s been 12 years since you were a filthy first year. 'Tipsy' by J-Kwon was basically my theme song: “Teen Drinking is very bad…”

When I started studying it was 2005. Aunty Helen was at the wheel, Outrageous Fortune stormed onto the small screen and reignited my passion for leopard print, cigarettes and swearing, some guy stole a light plane and threatened to crash it into the Sky Tower, the weather was nice, then it was shitty, then it was nice again and I moved into College Hall to begin my BA. In case you’re wondering, yes, the food was crap back then too — the menu hasn’t changed

I survived first year 9am Monday lectures by eating a lot of M&Ms and doing the puzzle page. It used to be that the first person into the Nexus office with a completed puzzle page won a prize — I got some book vouchers once. So the puzzle page has been an institution for almost as long as Nexus has.

When I asked what Dawn’s favourite piece of the magazine was, I expected her to say — “the ones that came in on time!”, but instead she said, “there were so many good ones. I always enjoyed seeing what Matt Scheurich would bust out for a cover. Richard's film reviews and Dave's Boganology were always good too.”

— we had ‘ham steaks’ and ‘fish n chip Fridays’ and we also had all the best

Dawn’s favourite interview was with Rod Donald, Co-leader of the Green Party

takeaway places on speed dial. In fact, not much has changed at all. When I

at the time. “He was warm and friendly, and extremely intelligent — one of those

googled 2005 the bus drivers and uni lecturers were striking for the same reason

interviews where you think "yes!" at the ideas, and have trouble editing anything

they’re still striking, racism and sexism was rife and everyone was convinced that

out.” Rod passed away suddenly in November that year, and Nexus alumnus

the world was going to hell in a handbasket.

Nándor Tánczos was sworn into parliament in his place.

Alongside putting my neighbour into the recovery position three nights in a row

Some of Dawn’s favourite Nexus memories were made at the ASPA awards and

and getting some awesome cigarette burns on my arm dancing at the Hilly (yes

the conference. She didn’t elaborate here, but there are a lot of stories I could tell

— smoking in bars was still legal, and the Hilly was in its final glorious year as

about Nexus and the ASPAs, things like editors dancing on tables, cleaners finding

the student bar to end all student bars), one of my clearest memories was being

unmentionable things stashed in rival magazine’s fridges… but I better not.

completely aggrieved that I was turning 18 the day after Orientation. My own mother encouraged me to buy a fake ID and I’m not saying I did, and attended the foam party anyway, but I totally went to the foam party anyway. Like I was any less ready to be binge drinking at 17 years and 360 days than I was at 18.

Some rules are stupid.

There was also this one guy — back when the Meat Pie Mile was about chugging beer and swimming across the lake — who stripped naked, dived in head first, and came out with a rotten fish in his hand. He didn’t even win. And let’s just say that if you think the lake is manky now, you should have seen it then.

“Notable moments in production were graduating to InDesign for laying out — we had the horrible slow Pagemaker and sloooow computers. Another major was getting FTP up and running — before that we had years of running a Zip disk (this is a fancy floppy disk) down to the This Week offices and getting them to send it through for printing.” I’m pretty sure I had a 128MB USB stick in 2005 — it was flash af.

Just before Dawn became Editor, when Nexus started going out of business (for like, the 800th time) the relationship between Nexus and the WSU soured.

Having invested money in all of the computers that Nexus was using to create

Anyway, editing Nexus that year was Dawn Tuffery. You’ve probably seen her

the magazine, and worried it was going to lose out, the executive repossessed

running around Hamilton in her five finger shoes (I can’t decide if they’re cool or

all the computers and locked the doors. Dawn said the Nexus team, not wanting

a bit freaky. Probably both). She somehow manages to run insane distances like

to let down their seven readers, “went and did an all-nighter at Wintec to get it

100km and still smile for photos at the end.

out anyway.” Legendary.

I remember Dawn’s Nexus asked a lot of big moral questions — like the time she

Getting nostalgic about Nexus makes me wonder what’s coming next for the

took photos of herself dressed in different outfits, blanked out her face then asked

magazine. I’d like to see it return to its pre-VSM glory, but that takes cash, and

readers to make assumptions about the kind of person they were (I was jealous af

cash is something in short supply for most of us right now. Maybe our mate Neil

of her rainbow tights). For anyone thinking that wasn’t so deep, this was also the

can help out? He was cool with us calling him Quiggsy and ‘adult Harry Potter’ so

year that we had a ‘Beer and Porn Appreciation’ club where we spent our $250

maybe we’re in with a chance?

funding on a keg and Playboy, and Nexus is a reflection of its audience.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE MORNING TEA WITH NORMAN KINGSBURY

BY BRITTANY ROSE

Norman Kingsbury worked as Waikato’s first registrar alongside Don

between the Teaching College and University grounds,” said Kingsbury. There

Llewellyn, the founding Vice-Chancellor of University of Waikato from 1964.

was also talk of University students wearing gowns. Like. Graduation gown

His role was to oversee administrative and staffing decisions — at times this

gowns. As though they’re not pretentious enough at graduation.

led to starting the world’s first university programme teaching Māori and valuing Te Reo, other times it lead to acquiring land for the Management school. Some decisions were better than others, but either way they laid the foundation for how our University looks 52 years later.

Last Tuesday, Dave West, Boss Man at the WSU, took me to meet Norman Kingsbury for tea and biscuits. Kingsbury’s reputation preceded him — both Dave and Nexus’ Managing Editor, James Raffan, have been gushing over his contributions to tertiary education here at Waikato to the point that they’re semi-serious about acquiring a building to name after him, especially since he was heavily involved in setting up the Student Loan Scheme following the introduction of user-pays tuition fees.

Getting dressed that morning was stressful. I felt obliged to be ‘appropriately’ dressed in order to meet an Old Person™ — this was in direct conflict with my desire to dress ridiculously for the rest of 2016. I’ve just come out of seven weeks of working in a suffocatingly conservative school environment; because of this, I’m vibing the freedom of short skirts, sloppy tees and clashing prints. I settled for a boatneck floral dress with a denim button-through. Not that you care.

It’s safe to say my outfit choices are superfluous to this narrative, but I’ve gotta get some use out of my Diploma in Fashion Design, since it’s not getting me a job outside of retail. I came to uni with the end goal of being a qualified teacher and getting a job that pays more than minimum wage. I mention my teaching aspirations and practicum less out of self-absorption, and more out of its relevancy to the stories Kingsbury told about where our University started.

Picture this: you’re standing where the Student Union Building is, by a literal cowshed, Dairy 5, on a hill. In the distance is Hamilton Teachers’ Training College past swampy Waikato land. The Teaching College was established earlier than the University itself, and was a separate institute. Kingsbury spoke highly of the Principal and Deputy Principal in shifting attitudes towards academia and education. In 1991 (my birth year!) the name changed to the School of Education, after merging with the University of Waikato.

While the Teaching College and University were separate there was an elitist

Me screwing up my nose at the elitist absurdity of wearing gowns at uni segued into ex-cop Dave asserting that uniform has its place — specifically with Police.

“We’d have been toe-to-toe in 1981 in the Springbok Tour protests then, wouldn’t we Norman?” He asked. Kingsbury was a politically engaged person — he protested the racial-segregation of South Africa that their rugby team were symbolic of. And Kingsbury is well-known for having little tolerance for racist attitudes. In the early days of University of Waikato, the idea of Māori language having a place in an academic institute was unheard of. Kingsbury explained that Llewellyn had been away when he appointed a head of Māori, “Don asked me what had happened in his absence. I replied that I’d just started a new department.”

And it wasn’t only in an academic arena that Kingsbury approached things from a little out of left-field. In establishing on-campus Halls of Residence, Kingsbury flouted the tradition of big double doors locked at curfew. The public were aghast! Social etiquette stated that the large front doors should be locked so as to protect the reputation of the honourable middle-upper class academics who would sneak out the strategically unlatched window that wasn’t spoken about.

A sentiment repeated throughout the tea and Toffee Pop (Dave recalled a time before Toffee Pops were a thing — talk about nostalgic) session was that the University of Waikato, since the beginning was designed to be a space where there was a feeling of community, where the grounds could accommodate students, and be inclusive of the community in which it was built. Essentially, the idea of fences at Waikato was never one that would never take off.

As a Conjoint Education student I’ve spent the last four years completing my Bachelor of Teaching in conjunction with my Bachelor of Arts — in any given semester I’m enrolled in a mix of FoE and FASS papers. I might start my day with three hours on the fifth floor of TT block, and then have to pace it across campus to the third floor of I block. My legs got bloody shapely from the amount of stairs I’d encounter on a daily basis. If slightly different decisions were made in the past surrounding the relationship between Hamilton Teachers’ Training College and University of Waikato then the last four years of my uni experience may have been very different. And I definitely wouldn’t have been able to afford tuition fees if it weren’t for the student loan scheme. Thank you, Norman Kingsbury.

division of the students, “People would ask where we would put the fence up 21

YOUR SPACE EGOS ON GREEN Some would say a canvas self portrait is worryingly narcissistic, others realise how fucking sweet it is and are already in the process of ordering a personal collection. These modern walls are the home of each cliche imaginable, you’ve got your theatre kids and gym junkies all mixed in with humble academics and those who follow ‘meme’ trends a little too closely. Their collection of jigsaw puzzles and board games did lead me astray though, I started to expect some highly alternative Amish folk to scuttle out of cupboards at any moment. I was greatly disappointed to find out the inhabitants of this flat just enjoy bonding without the presence of social media.

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

23

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

EXPECTATIONS VS REALITY GROWING UP

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D OL' GRANNY LUMBERJACK

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

VITAMIN D

EXPECTATIONS

When I think of my childhood, beyond the screaming on the lower

You were basically born a total badass. You came out with a luscious head of

frequencies, the Joghurtohren, Maman and her sweet nothings, I think of my

hair screaming “I’m here to fuck shit up,” and from that day forward you make

buxom neighbour, Maria, and her delicious green apples. She would put on her

good on your promise. You are the most popular, adorable lil shithead on the

leather-alls and start into the forest behind the house. Every night she would

playground and are always the first to get picked in all class sports games. You

return covered in wood chips and whistling with sweat to a fresh cake that

manage to navigate your way through your early teens gracefully without an

channelled the best eight inches of her sweet, chunky interior with her fudgey,

awkward ugly duckling phase and you never need braces or several different

brittle topping. Ergo, the Lumberjack Cake, a sweet apple cake with a topping

acne treatments. You skip the weird fashion trends that include, but are not

that looks like a lumberjack’s dandruff covered in toffee.

limited to: blue eyeshadow, frosted tips, full sweatsuits and jelly shoes. When you reach high school, seniors immediately take you under their wing in a completely non-patronising way and you become the only Year 9 in recent recorded history to be allowed to sit with the Year 13s. You basically run the common room and are a legacy for all the parties you threw and pranks you pulled. You graduate top of your class with a ten year plan you know you’ll nail, just like you nail everything else, including that time you nailed the Ball King/Queen at the ball.

Start with two large Granny Smith apples, preferably without bongholes cut in.

Peel and finely chop them, then set aside for half an hour in a bowl with a cup of chopped dates, a teaspoon of baking soda and a cup of boiling water. Long ago Maman would make this for you as a mid-afternoon sup’. “Maman,” You would say, “Maman, this is delicious!” And she would say “How dare you speak to me, porcelain child! Your bones were so brittle, bluepainted and shiny.” Alas, so long. Yet, there is a moment where you rise from the drippingtray and sing lost love songs for Maman’s milky sup, tripping down the palate to tonguetap sweet and basic. So long.

REALITY You were a cute kid because most kids are cute, but you will never be able to

125g butter and 1 cup sugar in a bowl. Beat it (It doesn't matter who's wrong

live down the time you accidentally peed your pants while playing in the sand

or right; They’re out to get you. They’re hiding in the shadows. Stay from

pit and thank God you grew into your Dumbo ears. Coming up to intermediate

the shadows. Run.) And beat in an egg like you’re making a masturbation

school you have mild psychological trauma from the time you tripped while

reference to try and impress the kids who casually smoke weed at a 21st

getting a certificate in assembly. In your early teens you wake up every

birthdays and post-show parties, edgycool. Add in a teaspoon on that good

morning and blast various emo bands, thinking about how much My Chemical

vanilla, because no one’s impressed by vanilla flavoured essence. How dare

Romance just get you and your angsty struggles. You are forced to sit away

you belittle yourself and insult the great art of baking with shitty ingredients.

from your friends in every single class because apparently you talk too much.

Sift in 1&1/2 cups flour and mix in with Maman’s sup until you’ve a chunky

Your parents house is riddled with embarrassing pictures of your early 2000s

semen metaphor. Sling that bastard into a greased lined 8-inch tin and into

flame shirt/DC skate shoes phase that you wish had all been burned. Your first

the oven for about 45 mins to an hour.

significant other breaks up with you two days before the school ball because you don’t “spend enough time with them” so you eventually go on to date their best friend, who then breaks up with you for the same reason. Toward the end of Year 13 you have a mild existential crisis because holy fuck what are you going to do with your life after school ends? This existential crisis lasts until you hit your twenties and realise adults are really just pretending to know what they’re doing.

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Meanwhile, make your topping. Get sticky in a small pot with 50g butter, 1/2C brown sugar, a small splosh of milk and 1/2C of shredded coconut. Spread it on the cake at around the 45 min mark and toast for 15-20 mins. Serve when it’s fudgey warm, so you can taste the apple-vapour when it slides down Maria’s gullet. Find a courgette. Find feijoa peels. A bathtub. Think of Maman.

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

HEIL HOGAN ABSOLUTE RINSERS

NERD YORK TIMES NERD SINCE ‘94

LYAM BUCHANAN

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

I have minimal recollection of anything from February ‘til May, the end of

Every now and then I talk with my parents, and they can wax nostalgic at

summer is nothing more than one huge blur of throwing back half a box at

times. They remember black and white television, the Goodnight Kiwi,

each meal instead of consuming anything nutritious and trying to not vomit

when there were only however many channels before Sky, and there was

in lectures. Keeping in theme of all this nostalgic shit here’s a bunch of waster

always something to watch. Or when they didn’t even watch TV at all, this

highlights from the past year.

new medium that their own parents used for the news, and maybe Country Calendar. Instead, they’d read books, unlike today’s youths. And it gets me

HOGAN MARCH

thinking, in 2016 (and only 22, but I’m a big boy) where does our nostalgia lie

Hamilton cops need to remember that a house party in O-Week does not

now, us spring chicken youths?

require an army of to forcefully remove us from the property. This isn’t fucking Syria, you don’t need a riot squad. It started off as a small gathering of students socialising on the Greensboro end of Hogan and ended up with 30 cops forming a barrier and politely marching us towards the safety of Cameron. Up until a group of fresh second years got a little too cheeky, far too cocky and blew a little too much cigarette smoke in the gentle faces of the law and ended up getting frantically chased through flats, over fences and down side streets before the unlucky got pinned on the tarmac and the rest continued to be cunts on their way to the safety of Beaumont. Quick shoutouts to all those Marlboro wielding menaces, you did us proud.

The first thing that strikes me is the fact that yes, our generation loved, and still loves, books. Of course, but really there is one memory that stands out, one many of us would share. How great was it, in the days of yore, when you bought and read that first Harry Potter book? Oh, that feeling was the best, and then the anticipation of waiting for The Chamber of Secrets to drop! But the one that really stands out is the Order of the Phoenix, where before one Christmas I snuck into my parents’ bedroom and saw that I was getting it for Christmas. I stay there and read almost half the book before I heard my parents get home.

Okay, yes, I know not everyone is a Potterhead. But there is one other sweet,

CUNT THAT GOT CURBSTOMPED

sweet memory I’m sure we’re all nostalgic for. Those white little boxes with

Goddamn there was a lot of blood, pretty classic shenanigans though. [Editor’s

the poppy lids, before a time when discs just slid right in. That’s right, the

Note: I shouldn’t have to say this, but please don’t stomp on anyone in anyway.]

PS1 (or your other first generation consoles, but I can’t talk for you). Is there anything better than looking back on that, and seeing those fuzzy, pixelated

CAMERON CASTLE

characters jump around what would now be some horrendously rendered

If you got munted in O or Re O-Week chances are it was within the glorious

environment? And it was so basic, that’s what made it fun! Just follow the

fence-line of the Cameron Castle. You never came here for a quiet few or just

path, jump on something, charge someone else, maybe even spin something.

to be a little social before having an early night, this was the property where

Blocky graphics and straight paths, I’m going to say what we’re all thinking:

you got absolutely ruined and either woke up in the boot of your own car or in

way better than anything today.

bed with someone feeling equally regretful. It’s truly hard to narrow the events down so here’s the quick rundown: • Uncle Reggie's Homebrew, if you were one of the many pressured into funnelling this I send you my sincerest apologies.

• Water Slide, this is fairly self explanatory. How many house parties have a tarpaulin purely for fucking up your life?

• Noize, infinitely better having proper DJs than some shitty Spotify playlist.

Then there’s classic Pixar, classic Disney from the 90s, Bebo, Age of Empires, Powerpuff Girls, Scooby Doo; for those with these things, growing up was pretty cool in those instances. It’s weird to think that one generation will look back and fondly yearn for their first experiences with Iron Man and the Avengers, or reminisce about Game of Thrones. The times, they may be a-changing, but one thing will never change; things were better when we were growing up. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a PS1 to dig out of storage.

27

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

THE I.T. GUY TECHNOLOGY PREFECT, CLASS OF 2012

MODERN DAY MIXTAPE MAKINGS OF AN INDIE SHITBAG LYAM BUCHANAN

MATTHEW RAE

All the tunes we hear while growing up have a huge impact on our musical Someone asked me today what it was like growing up without Facebook. I

taste, obviously we develop our own style and grow to learn what we enjoy,

was kind of puzzled by the question, but it got me thinking. Facebook was

but I’ll stand by our parents having a somewhat inadvertent yet lasting impact

invented in 2004, I was 10 years old at this stage so I didn't really grow up

on what we think is hella sweet. Hearing a nostalgic jam is a great feeling, you

without it, but I also didn't grow up with it. I mean we didn't have a TV until I

become momentarily lost in a daydreaming trance like you’re caught in an

was 10, now a days kids have phones by that age. I didn’t have my first phone

emotional instrumental scene of a movie, however there are definitely tracks

‘til I was 14, it was a Nokia brick. That’s the one with 12 buttons for texting.

which can leave you no better off than someone with severe post traumatic

I think the thing that excited me the most about tech was all the things

stress disorder.

computers could do including games and movies. If it couldn't, you could always use it to do it yourself. I made my first game when I was 15 and I did

Here’s everything that aurally fucked me up:

it all on Windows 3.1. For those that don't know, It was pre-start bar. It was a

FIRE ON BABYLON BY SINEAD O’CONNOR

cheap ripoff of Reversi but I could play against my friends.

I’m forever thankful that with age I’ve managed to repress the fear and hatred I

In high school I learned how to make my own websites, use Photoshop and bypass the IT guys’ attempts at stopping us playing games during class. I was the kid who installed Halo on every computer so we could all play LAN with each other. Being dyslexic, I was the kid who got to sit in the back and have my laptop out because I needed it (but mostly because I wanted a free computer). 50% of the time I was working on my new game or playing others.

The position of Technology Prefect was created because I was that good at

had for everything that even slightly resembled Miss O’Connor. This particular track from her 1994 release, Universal Mother, floods memories of persistent fevers, recurrent nightmares and just being generally terrified of life as a four year old. Going back and listening to it makes everything seem reasonable though, the droning instrumentation and the ethereal yet aggressive voice coupled with lyrics based on house fires, disfigured children and general chaos definitely worked wonders on by incredibly impressionable mind.

what I did — and they were sick of paying me for helping out. I truly am a

YEHA-NOHA BY SACRED SPIRIT

nerd's nerd.

Oh boy, this right here is something special. This piece of art is enough to send

My first memory of computer genius is when my mum coded a commodore 64 to run Atari games. It didn't just have Pong but Space Invaders too. I always wondered, if a computer can do this, what else can it do? I still to this day believe that's what got me into computers. Someone has to push the boundaries otherwise there is no progress. My experience with computing

you on a life changing journey without the addition of nostalgic goodness.

With the title ‘Wishes of Happiness and Prosperity’ you know you’re in for a great time, if the Native American chants aren’t enough to send you into a truly enlightened state, the cello will ensure that you transcend to a land comparable to that of a vision quest.

started out early but in no way has it ever slowed down. Especially since I’m

DISCOGRAPHY BY TAYLOR SWIFT

studying a Bachelor of Science majoring in Computers now.

Fuck Taylor. Everytime she released a fucking album I’d be promptly dumped.

It’s truly impressive how she’s able to convince high school girls that their boyfriends are scum who haven’t been treating them right because they’ve been sleeping with their besties. With the obvious exception of the timeless anthem ‘You Belong With Me’, every Taylor Swift song momentarily makes me either enter complete damage control or start uncontrollably retching. I’ll find myself frantically running to my car to buy copious quantities of black forest chocolate while typing out some painfully cliche text along the lines of ‘I don’t know what I did but I’m sorry, have you finished listening to that album yet?’.

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Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

COOKING WITH UNCLE YAM BREAKFAST BLUES INGREDIENTS Half a box of Mother Earth Baked Oaty Slices A constant state of sleep deprivation Lukewarm Lift Plus Abandonment Issues

DIRECTIONS 1. Awaken 2. Cradle your box of Baked Oaty Slices 3. Accept existence 4. Dig out a Lift Plus from the depths of your wardrobe to fuel your dependence on caffeine 5. Stare at the ceiling as your lifeless body begins daily processes 6. Repress the memory of your father as the scent of oats fills the room 7. Attempt a smile, lips quivering, as the processed apricot chocolate enters your digestive tract 8. Question why you’re not good enough 9. Reward yourself with another oaty slice for getting to sleep without violently sobbing 10. Spiral into despair as you try to repress how everyone you’ve ever loved never cared for you and eventually left you 11. Wash it all down with a voluminous swig of Lift Plus 12. Think back to a time where you knew how it felt to be held 13. Have another Baked Oaty Slice 14. Conform to societal norms

29

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

She’s a horseriding second year law/management student on the hunt for love, (or just something to ride) and specifically asked for a match whose drinking ability was on par with hers. He is a second year comp sci student, but “no where close to being the stereotypical computer geek”since he powerlifts, goes hiking and loves cooking and baking.

HE SAID

SHE SAID

I would like to thank Nexus and House but most of all the gorgeous

On a Wednesday night in spring, I walked into House with dick on

girl that accompanied me on the blind date for one of the best nights

my mind. Downing enough vodka for a Saturday night to calm the

out that I have had in a long time. Seriously, damn girl.

nerves, I was ready. I was taken to a table where I was matched with

The night started off with me doing the usual student type thing,

a powerlifting semi-bogan trying to pass-off a man-bun and plaid.

smashing back the last ¼ of a bottle of scrumpy that I had laying

In true Morrinsville style he ordered a pizza and I ordered a steak

around from the previous weekend. I got dropped off at House by

(meat on the mind remember). He told me all about how he built his

two of my mates who cheekily brought me some vodka to shot on

own computer and how he got lucky on YikYak.

the drive over. My nerves were completely out of hand as I arrived a mere three minutes early, but I got seated and shortly after my date arrived.

First impressions were gold. We started off by ordering drinks and within a few minutes of chatting, my nerves had finally settled a little. The conversation flowed amazingly. She was a great laugh and was hot as hell to boot. We drank good drinks, ate good food and had great conversations.

At the end of the night she suggested shots, so we had a shot of

Convo topics also included drugs and alcohol where I became aware that I consume more than your average but then I remembered that I live on Hogan Street so it’s the norm.

Credit to the guy, he didn’t let his dreams be memes – he had a legit tattoo of chicken nuggets in Japanese on his arm. And from then on I knew I would never be the central feature of his life.

At my suggestion we finished the night on tequila shots to use up the remainder of the tab.

tequila which matched her perfectly. I gave her my number and she

Not to disappoint my fellow Nexus readers, I left the bar alone that

gave me some cheeky party invites, but unfortunately we headed

night, but I still got laid ;)

our own ways at the end of the night. I’m keen for round two if she is, you have my number.

31

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

WORDFIND

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19)

B

Y

J

M

S

P

U

S

S

E

R

D

Z

H

Y

S

E

I

R

O

M

E

M

V

G

E

K

P

T

M

W N

S

O

K

T

O

O

T

H

F

A

I

R

Y

K

R

E

F

L

E

C

T

I

O

N

N

R

B

N

I

A

N

I

T

L

Y

E

N

S

I

D

G

O

S

now goes to your mum. Burn.

N

B

O

N

E

E

K

V

P

G

U

I

Q

C

P

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

G

S

B

U

E

T

S

O

R

S

H

C

A

N

I

If you’re friends with a few Tauruses and just don’t feel

S

R

E

L

F

U

X

I

F

U

O

S

C

M

C

B

O

L

O

E

B

V

O

C

D

E

R

A

Q

E

U

T

J

O

R

I

B

W A

D

H

G

T

S

G

R

A

C

H

A

E

L

E

L

L

I

O

T

E

I

Y

C

U

C

E

S

H

U

S

N

N

B

J

N

R

D

Y

N

S

M

R

C

S

A

B

D

M

P

I

L

Pluto is in retrograde this week, meaning an increased sex

I

Z

K

P

E

L

I

T

N

Y

S

U

Q

L

S

drive and desire for intimate connection. Also, your lucky

A

U

K

T

R

D

I

Y

T

A

I

D

L

D

P

L

S

T

Z

N

O

S

T

A

L

G

I

A

N

Y

U

O

Z

G

N

G

L

B

Z

P

H

O

L

A

R

P

I

N

N

O

C

E

N

C

E

T

W

H

L

O

The stars shine brightly upon you, increasing the chance that you will be a huge nerd and complain about factual inaccuracies in the otherwise perfect horoscopes.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18) NASA has released a report stating that Jupiter is no longer the biggest planet in our solar system — that title

like they’re as good as you, you’re probably right. Befriend more Pisces, they’re on your level.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19) So, spurred on by the demise of our planet, we’re planning to send people to live on Mars. Concerning that we’d rather spend money to destroy another planet than saving ours.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)

numbers are: 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69, 69 GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20) “It's not about making money, it's about taking money.

Destroying the status quo because the status is not quo.

The world is a mess and I just need to rule it.”

Potterhead

Retrospect

Landlines

Santa

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)

Spyro

Hindsight

Dialup

Innocence

Second to last week of classes! This is a sign to bite the

Play

Nostalgia

MSN

Teletubies

bullet, and finally ask out that hot classmate you’ve been

Bebo

Kingsbury

Knucklebones

Barney

wanking over all year.

Disney

RachaelElliot

SchoolUniform

Imagination

Dumbo

Higby

BareFeet

DressUps

NASA has released a report stating that the atom is no

Reflection

HogansHeroes

SuzyCato

CulDeSac

longer the smallest thing in our solar system — that title

Memories

SpiceGirls

ToothFairy

Virginity

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

now goes to your dick. Burn.

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) Corona Fun Fact: A fan of the curved bottle necks? Mexicans don’t give a fuck about quality control and the bottlenecks have bulges in them because they expand after cooling.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) Corona Fun Fact 2: If you’re still concerned about the amount of liquid in your Corona, maybe it’s time to fill up the coolant tank, and perform an oil change.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) So you took a photo of the lake by Momento and hashtagged it “#summer #lovinglife”? Hate to break it to you, but nothing says your life sucks more than #lovinglife SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) If you’re reading this as you sit pretending to study on Level 3 of the Library, we promise you’re not alone.

Actually no-one is alone. Ever. Aliens.

32

N.23 / V.48

NOSTALGIA

SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 2

9

3

8

4

7 7

5

2 5

8

8 9

7 7

3

6

6

8

4

5

4

6

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2

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1

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8

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2 7

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1

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4 8 9

2

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1 6

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8

2

2

MEDIUM

TRIVIAL

4

2

9

1 6

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1

8

5

EASY

7

5

9

8

2

7

7

1

2

9

9

2

4

7

6

8

7

9

1

HARD

CODE CRACKER

a) A Dolorimeter is used to measure what? b) Quito is the capital of which country?

9 5

7

2 19

5

24 21

7

5

26

23

25

23

14

3

23

23

20

18

9

24

9

10

22 11

8

3

c) What is the Roman numeral for 500?

22

d) Sinology is the study of what? e) Gala, Honeycrisp and Fuji are varieties of which fruit?

1

5

7 7

12

WORD TWIST

9

4

5

26

19

9

26

25

6

26

25

4

15

17

3

23

15 10

25

4

3 24

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5

13

7

7

22

1

2

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7

14

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N

9

23 11

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3

19

9 9

3

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13 14

12

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13

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9

10

21

22

23

23

22

2 3

20

A

9

9

3

3

11

12

13

24

25

26

Code Cracker

Trivial

2. W 3. R

10. P

4. M 5. I

ANSWERS

1. F

a word.

25

a) Pain threshold/pain intensity

R

used more than once in

15. B

O

9

5

diagonally and cannot be

9. E

E

11

7. N 8. Y

E

19

22

4

6. X

T

7

7

23

8

b) Ecuador

O

23

20.L

Z

15

14

26

23

horizontally, vertically or

14. Z

V

The letters must touch

23

18. Q 19. S

U

9

17. T

T

17

make from these letters?

12

24

11. H 12. V 13. K

S

7

9

5

16. J

R

24

23

c) D

Q

16

How many words can you

7

21. G 22.D 23.A 24.U 25.O 26.C

P

7

3

d) China

M

9

9

7

e) Apples

E

16

21

1

33

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