Nexus 2017 Issue 20

FREE STUDENT MAGAZINE

N.20 / V.49

Look What You Made Me Review — Page 14 Worst Case Scenario: What Most Likely Won’t Happen — Page 17 Fashion Week Tossers — Page 32

1 EDITORIAL 4 NEWS Fucking Vote!

NEXUS ISSUE 20 4TH - 8TH SEPTEMBER 2017 CO-EDITORS Bronwyn Laundry Lyam Buchanan editor@nexusmag.co.nz

• Labour Party Announce Student Support Policies • NZ First Reluctantly Takes Backseat • Auckland Retains ‘Fucked’ Status • Annette King Voices Support for Trans* Community • TL;LR • News in Numbers • The Diminutive Post • Top Ten

17 FEATURE

Worst Case Scenario: What Most Likely Won’t Happen

20 CENTREFOLD Artwork by Ben Bartels neveryoumind.studio @neveryoumind.studio @bennyblunder

MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

DESIGN Vincent Owen design@nexusmag.co.nz

25 STUDENT EXPERIENCE

DEPUTY EDITOR Jennie-Louise Kendrick jen@nexusmag.co.nz

REVIEWS EDITOR Alexander Nebesky reviews@nexusmag.co.nz

CONTRIBUTORS

10 SPORTS 13 ENTERTAINMENT 30 COLUMNS • Soar Like an Eagle • The Big Dance

• Puppet Master Politics • Ode to the Road: The Beanabout • FOMO

• Pass the AUX • Opinionated • The Fashion Critic • Lonely Tarts Club • Yam & Troy the Science Boys • Auteur House

Kate Lunn Cameron McRobie Tom Collopy Laura Hetherington Ben Hansen Archie Porter Ben Bartels Jacqui Swney Jean Balchin Amanda van der Klompf Troy Anderson Richard Swainson

OFFICES Ground Floor SUB, Gate One University of Waikato Knighton Road Hillcrest Hamilton 3216 Private Bag 3059

DISTRIBUTION Matthew Rae

14 REVIEWS

• Single: ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ by Taylor Swift • Food: Fast Flavours • Album: ‘Art in the Age of Automation’ by Portico Quartet • Single: ‘Czech One’ by King Krule

16 RANDOM AUDIT LAWS103

37 SNAPPED 39 BLIND DATE 40 PUZZLES

Editorial — Pānui Ētita

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Fucking Vote!

If you have any type of social media, you will have seen in the past few weeks the political coverage, memes and campaigns urging you to enrol to vote. While we know you’re probably sick of hearing people telling you to ‘have a say’, we here at Nexus never stopped doing something just because it fucked someone off. Last elections around 800,000 people didn’t even enrol to vote and if you’re one of those people, the only one you’re causing detriment to is yourself.

“But I’m just one person, it doesn’t even matter if I’m an apathetic fuck.”

If everyone adopted that view, which reads a little too much like an emo MySpace post from 2004, that would be five million votes that ‘don’t even matter’. The electoral system isn’t perfect, sure, but MMP means that we have proportional representation - every vote counts in some way. According to the Electoral Commission, an estimated 12,700 18-24 year olds are eligible to vote in Hamilton East, and only 6,541 have enrolled. That’s just under 50% that aren’t enrolled. Half of the young people in Hamilton East won’t have a voice in choosing the Government that will dictate their future for the next three years. If you ask us, that’s pretty fucking sad.

“Politicians don’t even do anything so why bother?”

That’s just not even true. The Government has every say in the policies our country adopts, so it’s in your best

interests to figure out whose policies you like the most and vote accordingly.

“I can’t be fucked.”

Just know that forfeiting your right to participate in democratic process also means you forfeit the right to complain when shit happens that you don’t like. Nobody likes a Facebook hypocrite.

“Politics are for losers and old people.”

That’s the problem. Not enough of the population, particularly the youth population are making themselves heard, meaning that the old people who won’t even be around in 40 years are the ones that get to dictate what our future looks like.

“I’m an anti-establishment anarchist and I don’t believe in democracy.”

Fair enough.

If you sound like any of those statements, you might want to have a think about what voting actually means. It’s not even a difficult task, in fact, the Electoral Commission makes it ridiculously easy, and if we were suddenly taken over by a fascist dictatorship, you’d rue the day you decided exercising your democratic right was beneath you.

Democracy, how ‘bout it. ♦

— Lyam & Bron

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Uni News — Pitopito Korero

U N I

NEXUS MAGAZINE

N E W S

December Graduation Have you recently completed your studies?

Or do you anticipate completion before the 20 November? If so, you can now apply to graduate.

Go to the common tasks tab in iWaikato and select apply to graduate. The deadline for applications to graduate if you wish to attend the December ceremony is 11 October. Apply now so you don’t miss out.

Code of Student Conduct The University is committed to providing a safe environment. A draft Code of Student Conduct has been developed to give clear guidance on the standards of conduct expected by the University and to refer students, staff and other members of the University community to the procedures for making, investigating and resolving complaints of misconduct. Feedback on the proposed Code of Student Conduct is invited to the University’s Manager Policy and Governance at policy@ waikato.ac.nz by Friday 6 October 2017.

Heading to Town?

Waikato Uni staff and students pay just $1.70 (one-way)* thanks to our 30% subsidy. Find out more at waikato.ac.nz/go/unibus. *When you use a BUSIT card and uni ID for trips within Hamilton.

We’re Hiring!

Interested in being a Residential Assistant (RA) or Senior Residential Assistant (SRA) next year?

You’ll get to live and work at the Halls on campus, and help new residents adjust to university life and living away from home. Call 07 838 4084 or email accom@waikato.ac.nz for an application form. Applications close 11 September.

Annual Frank Sargeson Memorial Lecture Award-winning writer Adam Dudding will be presenting HEARTS AND LETTERS: How I decided to read 10,000 pages of literary chitchat from decades past, and am a better person for it at the 15th Annual Frank Sargeson Memorial Lecture, Tuesday 19 September. Lecture begins at 5.30pm with light refreshments to follow from 6.30pm. All welcome, S.1.04, S Block, Hamilton campus.

Interested in further study?

Come along to an information session and talk to our friendly university staff about any questions you may have. We’re here to provide advice on study options, help with paper selections, or talk you through the enrolment process. For more information and details about upcoming info sessions, visit waikato.ac.nz/go/info

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

Labour Party Announce Student Support Policies Lyam Buchanan Labour have recently announced their policies for making tertiary education and training affordable for all. Up until this point political parties have been cautious when questioned about their policies involving students, typically suggesting either the possibility of free education and a reform to financial student support or plainly admitting that they will do nothing to help students.

Labour’s tertiary policies include the following: →→ Increasing living costs support with both a $50 a week boost to student allowances and a $50 a week lift to the maximum that can be borrowed for living costs. →→ Restoring postgraduate students’ eligibility for student allowances. →→ Restoring the eligibility of students in long courses, such as medicine, to access student allowances or loans beyond seven years FTE study. →→ Accelerating the three years’ free policy, beginning with one year fees free full-time equivalent for everyone starting tertiary education or training for the first time from 1 January 2018, and extending this to three years’ free by 2024.

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NZUSA president Jonathan Gee says “Students are telling us that they barely have enough to live on. Even with a part-time job students are struggling, and are forced to focus on economic survival rather than academic success. An extra $50 in allowances will be of great assistance to these students.”

According to Newshub, this investment to student support will cost $270 million per year, with the first three years free education being an additional $370 million per year. In their fiscal plan Labour has already said they’re planning to put $6 billion into education over the forecast period, justifying this annual $610 million investment by not implementing National’s proposed taxed cuts.

News — Pitopito Korero

Voting for Student Issues Labour

National

ACT

Māori

Student Loan

Student Allowances

→ Provide everyone with three

→ Increase student allowances

years of free post-school

and living cost loans by $50 per

education

week

→ Consider writing off student

→ Reinstate the student

loans in exchange for work in

allowance for postgraduate

areas of skill shortage.

students

→ Continue interest-free student

→ Increase payments for

loans

students’ accommodation costs

→ Reinstate interest on Student

→ Increase borrowing limit for

loans

student loan living costs

→ Reduce student loan

→ Introduce a universal student

repayment rates and write off

allowance and increase the

living costs

accommodation benefit

→ Introduce a zero fee scholarship for ‘First in Whānau’ students TOP

→ Review the tertiary education

→ Pay $200 per week to

sector with a focus on

everyone aged 18 to 23

promoting lifelong learning Greens

NZ First

→ Reduce tertiary fees until

→ Reinstate the student

tertiary education is free

allowance for postgraduate

→ Adjust student loan

students

repayments progressively with

→ Introduce a universal student

income

allowance over time

→ Write off student loans in

→ Introduce a universal student

exchange for time spent working

allowance

in New Zealand → Fully fund courses that address current skill shortages Mana

→ Develop a plan to write off

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Vox Pops Since Hamilton has some of the cheapest flats in the country we asked a few Waikato students their thoughts on these proposed changes and who they’ll be voting for.

1. What are your thoughts on Labour’s plan to add $50 to your allowance/living costs each week?

2. What’s an education policy you’d like to see?

3. Who are you going to vote for?

Kelsey 1. Free money is good money, I’d appreciate free money.

2. Only one year free, if you’re committed to uni you should have to pay for something.

3. Still haven’t decided, probably Labour.

Ivy 1. It’s a good idea, you don’t always have the time for a job on the side.

2. At least some subsidy on uni fees, 40k is daunting when you don’t always have a job lined up.

3. Yeah probably Labour.

Josiah 1. I don’t know if I love it, it’s just seems like more debt for nothing.

2. Cheaper education, it’s so expensive.

3. National.

→ Provide living allowance

student debt → Abolish all tertiary fees and cancel interest on student loans → Provide students with jobs to help pay off debt → Incentivise graduates to work in areas of need

This election is set to have a bigger impact on our lives than any of those previous. Political parties are finally acknowledging the student voice and are starting to offer policies which could not only greatly improve our lives but completely change the premise of tertiary education for younger generations. If you’re unsure of who to vote for check out websites providing political compasses such as: →→ Policy.thespinoff.co.nz →→ Newzealand.isidewith.com →→ Votecompass.tvnz.co.nz Rather than do a massive circle jerk and pretend to be the orange man we will simply add that this election is super fucking important and to have your say you must be enrolled to vote by the 22nd of September. Hit up elections.org.nz to update your details and check eligibility. ♦

Loz 1. Allowance already covers all my costs, I don’t think it’s essential.

2. More funding for low decile schools.

3. Undecided, probably Labour.

David 1. It’s very detrimental to the economy. I understand it’s good for students but 6 billion isn’t really justified.

I know you’ve got to pay it back but still.

2. Don’t fund charter schools like we currently do. They’re a private school for a reason, don’t fund them.

3. National. ♦ 05

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

NZ First Reluctantly Takes Backseat Kate Lunn It’s unlikely that New Zealand First will make any further attempts to win the youth vote, after the party “accidentally” posted an image from a porn series to its Facebook page.

Last Thursday, New Zealand First posted a meme of a woman asking a cab driver “Are you pulling my leg?” underneath the header “When National claims the current student loan system is working.”

The photo used was taken from a British reality-style porn series called Fake Taxi, where an actress ends up paying for her ride using sex.

A spokesman for New Zealand First said that the page admin “found the meme on another page and posted it without knowing the source.”

The picture has now been taken down from New Zealand First’s Facebook page; however, Nexus understands the source material remains in Winston Peters’ personal files. ♦

Auckland Housing Remains Rather Frustrating Also Kate Lunn While the Government maintains there is no housing crisis, an Auckland real estate agency has advertised sleeping pods as “one-bedroom apartments” for $200 a week on TradeMe. Described as as a “unique living opportunity,” the small capsules appear to contain only a single mattress, a pillow, a fire hydrant, and a mirror.

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N.20 / V.49

Despite having internet access, the “one person per pod” rule specified would put a halt to any Nexus-and-Chill type activity. Tenants would have access to a shared living and kitchen space with three other pod renters.

The sleeping pods are stacked two-high, and thrifty Aucklanders can nab a discounted bottom pod for only $180 per week. ♦

News — Pitopito Korero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Annette King Voices Supports for Trans* Community Jennie-Louise Kendrick U N I Q WA I K AT O O N FA C E B O O K W W W. I M L O C A L . C O . N Z / WA I K AT O / WA Q U Y W W W. C U R I O U S . O R G . N Z W W W. R A I N B O W Y O U T H .O R G . N Z

Labour MP Annette King has revealed that she was once married to a trans* person. During a meeting between Labour leader Jacinda Ardern and the Qmunity Youth support group of Gisbourne, the former Health Minister said that she understands the struggles of trans* Kiwis, having been married to someone going through gender reassignment. “I also was married to a transgender person,” King said.

The comment arose when Ardern was asked what Labour’s stance on support for trans* people was regarding gender reassignment surgery, and other support like mental health services.

“So I understand very much the issues for transgender people, and the need to have access to surgery and to counselling and drugs and support. We are very supportive of that in our policy.”

King also asserted that there is a serious lack of specialised surgeons in New Zealand, and more training is desperately needed.

King, who is set to retire after the election, stated that one of the highlights of her Parliamentary career was the homosexual law reform in 1986.

“I was told that I was going to lose my rural seat in the 1987 election if I voted for reform - I increased my majority,” King said. “I learned that you can only ever vote with your conscience. And there are many more reforms that are needed in this area, particularly for transgender people, who continue to be discriminated against.”

In New Zealand, “trans*” tends to be a umbrella for other terms such as whakawähine, tangata ira tane, fa’afafine, fakaleiti, akava’ine, trans, gender queer and other gender diverse

and gender questioning people, according to advocacy group Agender NZ. In 2012, The New Zealand Association Health Survey revealed that depression rates in trans* teenagers was 40 per cent, with nearly half having self-harmed in the last year and 20 per cent having attempted suicide.

Psychotherapist Kyle MacDonald said that it is no great surprise that societal understanding of trans* youth, including bullying and abuse, has resulted in epidemic-level results.

“When we invalidate someone’s identity, especially something so core to their identity as their gender, we kill their spirit. It makes sense that someone then feels the next natural step is killing their body.

“So don’t for one moment think this is just about bathrooms. This is about allowing people to define their own identity, to live to their full potential and to be fully themselves, safely.”

Long wait for surgery →→ New Zealand publicly funds three male-tofemale operations (previously done in NZ) and one female-to-male (performed overseas) every two years →→ As of this week, 12 people were waiting for the female-to-male operation, 61 were waiting for male-to-female surgery →→ All of those 61 people have been waiting at least a year. Since February 2016, three people have had follow-up operations in New Zealand, but no-one has had a new gender reassignment procedure. − Stuff ♦ 07

News — Pitopito Korero

TL;LR

Too Long; Lyam Read “You’re more likely to be hugged when you’re hairless and about to die.”

— Got cancer? Get ready for hugs. Author and comedian David Downs shares his experience with cancer in this series ‘A mild touch of the cancer’.

“Houston mayor trials life size Snakes and Ladders.”

— Kiwi in Texas caught in ‘scary’ hurricane Harvey flood. Kiwi ex-pat voices concerns over the alligators and snakes which are now hanging out in the streets.

“Parenting mistake leads to creation of good boys.”

— ‘Store is very disorganised’: Parent accidentally feeds kids Scooby Snacks dog biscuits. A mum has inadvertently fed her children pet food after she filled their school lunch box with dog treats.

“Elderly deathcamp established after old folk struggle to use technology.”

— Amazon buys supermarket cuts prices 43 per cent immediately. Organic avocados went to US$1.99 each from US$2.79 on the first day Amazon took over at Whole Foods.

“Critics act surprised after Katy’s comedy set accurately reflects her recent musical endeavors.”

— Katy Perry tries her hand at comedy during VMAs. Her series of jokes and skits could be surmised with one word: trainwreck.

“Hamilton couple complain after mystery weekend takes them to Hamilton of the South.”

— Couple left disappointed after Air NZ ‘Mystery Break’ took them to Invercargill. They ended up a serviced apartment they found so substandard they fled to Queenstown.

News in Numbers $800,000

137k

$50

$25

16 weeks

40,000

collected in life insurance by Rotorua woman who faked her own death.

boost to student allowances promised by Jacinda Ardern.

recorded for Despacito at No.1 on the charts, now tied with Mariah Carey’s record.

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N.20 / V.49

bar tab used by McGregor after his boxing debut against Mayweather.

charge proposed by Labour for international visitors to use tourism facilities.

keys left without purpose after the demolition of red-zoned Christchurch homes.

The Diminutive Post

NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

TOP 10 Subtle Narcissist Convinced They’re Musically Superior after Purchasing Another Semi-Obscure Vinyl “I hate when people ask who my favorite band is. You won’t have heard of them, don’t embarrass yourself.” Self proclaimed introvert opens up after being caught intentionally scuffing their boots. “Yeah Laneway looks alright I just wish they’d go a little more raw than Mac DeMarco.”

Last week a Hamilton couple complained when a mystery weekend took them to Invercargill, the Huntly of the South. We decided to do Air New Zealand a favour and list ten destinations that would be a significant upgrade on the deep south.

10. An Act Party social mixer: It’s basically just David Seymour in a room talking about how great it is to be white.

9. Aleppo, our sources rave about its explosive nightlife.

8. Dante’s fifth circle of hell: We hear everything prior to five is like being in Invercargill anyway.

Nexus Writers Once Again Resort to ‘Lowest Common Denominator’ While Attempting Comedy “Should we talk about binge drinking culture? Maybe a joke about sexual diseases again? Wait no self deprecating humor is on trend let’s do that.”

Academic embarrassments continue to dream of a career in journalism while getting further out of touch with the students. “Actually no lets just do a introspective piece followed with another page of politics.”

7. New Plymouth, to this day we have no idea who saw the original Plymouth and thought we could use a second one.

6. North Korea and/or Guam.

5. Pompeii during the prosperous years around 79AD. 4. The cabin on a Malaysian Airlines flight to literally anywhere.

3. Houston throughout the duration of Hurricane Harvey.

2. The boot of a car in Palmerston North.

1. Mike Hosking’s house. ♦

NZ Defence Force Called after Dangerous Levels of Testosterone Recorded in UniRec Weights Room “Mirrors are there for a reason, why would I want to look at anything else when I can watch myself.” The Government has advised the gym to implement armed guards after certain gym goers have become reportedly ‘too huge’. “I think I’m nearly festival ready, I’m pretty much Zyzz.”

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Sports — Hākinakina

Soar Like an Eagle Cameron McRobie The only way to be recognised as a figurehead of a given sport is to be the best at it – right?

In the cases of some famously unsuccessful Olympians, this was not at all the case. Through sheer luck and the planets aligning or some other bullshit, athletes like; Michael Edwards (AKA Eddie ‘the Eagle’) and Eric ‘the Eel’ Moussambani stole the limelight and became the poster-boys for their sport even though they were just plain terrible when compared with their opposition.

Eric ‘the Eel’ Moussambani, was a swimmer from Equatorial Guinea in the 2000 Summer Olympics. Nicknamed ‘Eric the Eel’ by the media, he won fleeting international fame in the 100m freestyle for a victory so unlikely it left spectators checking they’d not been sipping absinthe.

Moussambani, who had never seen an Olympicsized swimming pool before had instead practised in a lake, and later a 12-metre swimming pool in a hotel that he only had access to between 5 and 6am for the eight months of training he had prior to the Olympics. Eric the Eel swam his heat of the 100m freestyle in a snail’s pace time of 1:52.72. Even though this was the slowest time in Olympic history, slippery Eric technically won his heat after both his competitors disqualified themselves by diving early.

The story of Michael ‘Eddie the Eagle’ Edwards is a truly wholesome one about a tenacious lad who refused to give up on his Olympic dream.

If you haven’t seen the feature length film (I recommend you do), Eddie the Eagle decided to switch to ski jumping after having not made the grade as a downhill skier, as there was no other British ski jumping competition. Essentially, after many hardships with funding and logistics – 10

N.20 / V.49

Eddie the Eagle finally made it to the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics on a marginal qualifying jump.

Even though his jump distances at the Olympics placed him dead last by 15m at least, the energy and excitement he brought with him to the games made him an endearing figure around the globe. Despite his lack of games success, he still managed to gain the British national record at 73.5m and a shout-out from the president of the Olympic committee at the closing ceremony – “You have broken world records and you have established personal bests. Some of you have even soared like an eagle.” Eddie the Eagle became arguably the most famous individual athlete at the Calgary games despite being more or less dog-shit at ski jumping.

“The important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win, but to take part; the important thing in Life is not triumph, but the struggle; the essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well” – Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the Olympic committee seemed to have gotten his message across to the likes of Eddie and Eric. Basically, who gives a fuck if you’re not the best at whatever you do – just give it the old ‘college try’, do the mahi and maybe you’ll get the treats. Alternatively, you might get a sarcastic nickname likening you to an animal. ♦

O T H E R F A M O U S LY

U N S U C C E S S F U L O LY M P I A N S : → S T E V E N B R A D B U R Y, A U S T R A L I A N S P E E D S K AT E R .

P A I N F U L LY A V E R A G E , H OW E V E R M A N AG E D TO WIN A GOLD MEDAL IN HIS EVENT AFTER ALL HIS C O M P E T I TO R S C R A S H E D. → P H I L I P B O I T, K E N Y A N CROSS COUNTRY SKIER. F I L L I N G K E N Y A’ S S I N G L E W I N T E R O LY M P I C S P O T, BOIT CAME DEAD LAST IN THE 1998 10KM EVENT – H E WA S H U G G E D A F T E R F I N I S H I N G BY R AC E W I N N E R BJORN DÆHLIE. → TREVOR MISIPEKA, AMERICAN SAMOAN S H OT P U T T E R . E N T E R E D I N THE 100M EVENT AFTER NEW IAAF RULES MEANT HE COULDN’T COMPETE I N S H O T P U T, R E C O R D E D S LO W E S T I N T E R N AT I O N A L S P R I N T T I M E I N H I S T O R Y. NICKNAMED “TREVOR THE T O R T O I S E ”. → JAMAICAN BOBSLEIGH TEAM, COME ON – YOU’VE ALL SEEN COOL RUNNINGS.

Sports — Hākinakina

NEXUS MAGAZINE

The Big Dance Tom Collopy After months of hype and weeks of anticipation Floyd “Money” Mayweather and “The Notorious” Conor McGregor stood toe to toe inside a ring with millions around the world tuning in to watch. I’ll admit I was a sceptic when this fight was first proposed. I never thought in a million years that it would happen and by chance that it did, as much of a Conor fan as I am, I didn’t think he would stand a chance of winning.

I was wrong on the part of the fight actually happening, as on June 15th the announcement was made that the two would fight on August 26th at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. As the fight grew closer, the more I watched and the more I talked to people about the fight, the more I began to believe Conor might actually be able to test Floyd and possibly grab the win. I felt he would pile on the pressure early and have the punching power to drop Floyd if he connected which seemed to be a shared view among a lot of punters. I worked the afternoon of the fight and we must have taken at least 10 bets on Conor for every bet we took on Floyd showing the enormous amount of support “The Notorious” one had behind him.

Conor looked solid early, he was moving forward and peppering Floyd with a number of combinations, landing his right jab on the button a multiple times. The tide started to turn in round 5 when Floyd began to become the aggressor and walk down Conor. At times it looked like Conor didn’t know what to throw as he was coming forward with his head down and Floyd was making the most of getting on the inside.

In doing so, Floyd was also sapping the energy from Conor by continually making him move,

which began to tell as the fight went on. The fight was stopped in the 10th round after Floyd landed a barrage of big punches on a fatigued McGregor with referee Robert Byrd adjudging that he’d seen enough. Conor again was very humble in defeat, giving Floyd all the credit he was due and recognising where he made mistakes. He seemed just happy to have gone through the process and proud of what he had achieved in doing so which at the end of the day is all you can ask for.

After it is all said and done, I think both fighters represented themselves in fantastic fashion with the fight delivering big time. Floyd once again proved that he is absolute class inside the ropes. He will most likely retire for good this time with a record of 50-0 as a professional, which is an outstanding achievement. Conor on the other hand will continue on gaining even more fans through this process. What is so attractive about Conor as an athlete is his fearlessness to challenge himself and take risks, which has made him such a global phenomenon. I have no doubt he will continue to push the boundaries throughout his career and continue to entertain fight fans all around the world. ♦

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Entertainment — Whakangahau

NEXUS MAGAZINE

ENTERTAINMENT Crush of the Week – Trisha Paytas Trisha Paytas is the kind of Youtuber that no one would admit to liking. She’s basically a mix between a glamour model, a gossip and an internet troll… but she’s addictive. Her videos frequently feature in our Moodboard section, so it was only right that we admit our crush on her.

Alongside her Youtube channel, she has released several albums (one is called Chicken Fingers and Lipo) and been on Celebrity Big Brother UK, Dr Phil and My Strange Addiction. Trisha has also starred in an Eminem music video and is probably the only fangirl of Rick Moranis.

Clickbait Moodboard: Back to Uni Blues

Hottest to Nottest →→ Nicki Minaj; an icon for all →→ Finally dealing with your “too hard basket” →→ The dedicated animator who endured hours of that Taylor Swift single to make a great lyric video →→ The announcement of another season of Love Island →→ Finally jumping on the Stranger Things bandwagon →→ Realising it’s too late to jump on the Game of Thrones bandwagon →→ Car sickness →→ The pressure to celebrate the trivial age of 21

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Reviews — Arotakenga

Single

Food

Arotakenga Waiata ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ - Taylor Swift Review: Alexander Nebesky

Arotakenga Kame Fast Flavours Review: Laura Hetherington

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

When one takes a mighty musical swing at the haters, dishes out a diss track, or takes aim at the naysayers, it behooves oneself to at least offer up something worth listening to- after all, if one wants their defiant proclamation of confidence and ferocity to ring true, one needs it to be heard.

Taylor Swift, in many ways, is immune from this necessity by virtue of the fact that she is Taylor Swift. Her track, good or bad, will have three weeks of consistent radio play and become inescapable.

Whether or not that was a consideration before this single dropped is not something I would care to speculate, but I do suspect that somewhere along the way, someone cut off their nose to spite their face and sacrificed quality songwriting for rushreleasing a petty vanity track. Taylor Swift is a brand to be respected, but in the same way one respects the ubiquity and pervasiveness of McDonald’s or Coca-Cola. Clever marketing is something plenty of people respect, and Taylor Swift is a commodity to be marketed. But do we want to listen to music or a marketing jingle? Watch a music video, or glue our eyes to an advertisement.

Because ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ is such a lacklustre diss track that it is easily overshadowed by its own context. It doesn’t offer enough for a full consideration of its merits because it is a collection of all the synonyms for ‘vengeance’ in a rhyming dictionary, laid atop bland production and weighted down by an abysmally uninspiring chorus. Swift might be making a statement, changing her style- but the starting gun fizzled. The strongest statement one can make ahead of a new album is a good single. We can’t listen to ‘the drama’ on Spotify and exploiting that drama to make up for poor songwriting, a great musician does not make. ♦

Fast Flavours in Cambridge is a relatively new takeaway shop, with a menu offering not one, not two, but eight vegan options! It may take some effort to physically get to Cambridge, but I highly suggest you do. The majority of the main meal options, such as the toasted Turkish burger, rice fettucine and lentil curry can be veganised- an exciting prospect for myself and other vegans I’m sure! Being a huge fan of Mexican cuisine, I went for the vegan nachos, topped with a mammoth serving of beans, kumara, coleslaw and guacamole, of course. These were a definite 10/10 for taste, serving size and appearance.

The chips themselves were not too salty, and all the flavours came together and complemented each other perfectly. Even the sweet chili sauce, which I’m not usually a fan of, was a pleasant addition to this marvellous ensemble. As for the portion size, it was huge, and I would happily pay $16 now and then to treat myself.

Among the three of us, we also ordered a jumbo vegan burrito and the Thai coconut curry.

We enjoyed the mix of rice and quinoa with the curry, but found the coconut flavour intense and sickly-sweet. The burrito delivered on taste, but I don’t suggest sharing it between three people, unless you don’t mind getting food all over your hands. Like its name suggests, Fast Flavours does deliver on strong flavours, and delivers them fast.

However, this is also their downfall in some areas, with the sauces occasionally overpowering the meal. Like most fast food joints, it isn’t a place I would stay and eat in. However, the bright orange walls are a nice touch and while I waited the mere five minutes for my order, the outdated magazines offered some light entertainment. ♦

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Reviews — Arotakenga

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Album

Single

Arotakenga Pakaemi ‘Art in the Age of Automation’ by Portico Quartet Review: Ben Hansen

Arotakenga Waiata ‘Czech One’ by King Krule Review: Archie Porter

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

Portico Quartet makes the kind of jazz that you wouldn’t know was jazz unless somebody told you it was jazz. But for an album properly classified as a fusion of jazz, electronic, and ambient elements, the emotional resonations of Art in the Age of Automation feel closer to moody late-night trip-hop.

The hang drum—an instrument as serious as a steel drum and as subtle as a kazoo—makes a surprisingly tasteful return to the Quartet. It is joined by the straight saxophone, double bass, drum kit, strings, and all kinds of electronics: an unlikely friendship that sounds much better than it should. There is life on every track, and the atmospheres are transient; the dark throbbing grooves of ‘A Luminous Beam’ precede the pensive ostinato of ‘Beyond Dialogue’ fluidly.

There is never an invitation to boredom. Once the traditional instruments have made themselves clear they move aside for the electronics with patient synergy. Electronic or otherwise, the sounds on this record are never monotonous or unimaginative; the jazzy fury of syncopated rhythms or the distant wailings of the straight sax create constant interest.

The only weakness is a constant propensity to noise. It is as if they are afraid to sit still for a few minutes and let the ambience play out.

But despite this, here is a worthwhile listen.

Portico Quartet demonstrate their maturity: they no longer depend on the inclusion of quirky elements (like the hang drum) to make themselves special. On Art in the Age of Automation Portico Quartet have proven their genuine musical craftsmanship. ♦

‘Czech One’ sees London based singer/songwriter Archy Marshall return to his alias, King Krule. On 2013’s excellent 6 Feet Beneath the Moon, Marshall explored themes of isolation and heartbreak through bleak landscapes of atmospheric sound, blending elements of jazz, hip-hop, and even punk into a surprisingly cohesive and striking album. In the years following, Marshall stepped away from King Krule and released music under his own name, and yet another pseudonym, ‘The Return of Pimp Shrimp’. With ‘Czech One’, it is evident these musical endeavors and experimental side projects have seeped into his King Krule persona - which isn’t necessarily a good thing. The track itself is an extremely surreal and dreamy wash of sound, with swirling piano keys at a delayed tempo, and occasional flashes of saxophone atop a smooth drum beat. The track lulls you into a trance, as though it is an eerie hip-hop influenced lullaby.

However, this slower, quieter and less baritone track proves somewhat disappointing rather than a triumphant return to form. Sonically, while it is not unpleasant to listen to, the song feels rather flat and uninteresting when compared to his previous work - of which he became known for his deep, snarling vocals and swelling guitars drenched in reverb. The instrumentation on the single doesn’t really seem to go anywhere, which is surprising considering this is the first single on a supposed new album. Krule’s lyrics are as bleak and visceral as ever, “One time I was impaled forlorn and thrown into a pile,” and in some regard help to bolster the tracks likability. Is the track bad? No, far from it. However, as a single it seems an oddly bland choice. It may work in context with the upcoming album, but as a singular release ‘Czech One’ is slightly disappointing. ♦ 15

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Random Audit — Kauwhau

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Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

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Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

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Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

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WSU ELECTION 2017 Do you see your future in a glorious bright yellow t-shirt? Are you all about sustainable governance, pragmatic decision making and quality yarns over thousands of freshly cooked sausages? Are you ready to sit on buses to town holding people’s hair while they casually decide to call it a night and their friends chant “College on the piss!”

The WSU are actively seeking eight directors, a Vice-President, a Vice-President Maori and a President as we endeavour to run an election where at least 1500 students vote for your future (unlike the actual election). Come and take up the challenge. #MakeTheGreenGreatAgain Nominations close at 4.00pm on Friday 8th September 2017.

The election will be held on 25th, 26th and 27th September 2017.

For more information or to get nomination forms come and see the WSU in the SUB or email manager@wsu.org.nz ♦

Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puppet Master Politics Geoff Simmons Holding at 1%, today Lyam will ponder the value of the protest vote with a group that isn’t getting near parliament, the ironically named Opportunities Party.

Why should students vote?

“At the moment I can kind of understand why they don’t vote, most political parties aren’t offering much for young people but the reason they’re not offering much for young people is that young people don’t vote. They’re all squabbling over who will capture the baby boomers which is absolutely disastrous for you guys as it means the country gets run for the older generation”.

It’s just a question of who will bite first, I get the feeling students need to show a little interest before anything actually happens.

What are TOP’s main policies?

The opportunities party doesn’t care for being in Government, all they want is to sustainably influence the policies being implemented at the time. As a result of this they’ve got plenty to say: “Close tax loopholes on housing, tax it like any other asset. Bringing down house prices will apparently encourage investment in businesses.

These investments will then somehow allow for income tax cuts which will result in 80% of people being better off.”- Alrighty this does sound fabulous but I’m not too sure how it all adds up.

Everyone gets taxed less except for those who own houses, resulting in the average person having more money to keep the economy pumping but what if these people don’t spend up?

“Help renters. Give them better rights and make sure all houses are warm and dry. Ensuring tenants they can’t get kicked out at the landlord’s whim”.- Yap yap, bloody beautiful.

“Polluters pay for the damage they do, commercial water users pay for the water they’re

using. The money from this will go into fixing our freshwater and our climate problems.”- Rivers and lakes are fairly topical but at the same time wouldn’t our agricultural sector get absolutely fucked with having to pay for their water usage?

Fixing the environment is lovely but there’s a little more to it than water use.

“Legalise cannabis, tax it, regulate it. Aiming to reduce harm and put the money into mental health as well as drug and alcohol rehab”- Yap. yap. Labour is the only other party who’ve even mentioned mental health so keeping this kinda chat going will hopefully influence other parties.

“Unconditional basic income for 18-23 year olds, for the first five years of adulthood, we want people to get $200 a week, no questions asked, universal, everyone gets it, whether you’re working, studying, starting a business or you’re volunteeringa”- Proper unsure how I feel about this. I feel like it could result in half the 18 year olds just living off it and ending up worse off by 23 while the other more driven end up well ahead of the game.

“Trying to reduce the amount of testing in the secondary school system because a lot of time and admin goes into testing people and there is no evidence that it actually helps,”- If this translated to a bit more ‘learning for the sake of learning’ at a tertiary level that would be splendid.

Today Lyam Learnt: That often it’s the people who have fuck all chance of being elected that make the most sense.

The Last Word Geoff seemed to know what he’s on about and he knows how to talk which is always nice.

I kinda rate it, they’re just all about shaking it up and stirring some shit. ♦ 25

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Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

Ode to the Road The Beanabout Who would’ve known a concrete bean would play as such a pivotal point in your tertiary journey.

For years it has been a staple during inebriated rendezvous, it’s luscious greenery providing temporary bedding for the pre-town napper, its dense shrubbery the final resting place of half finished bevys. The Beanabout symbolises fluidity.

Highlighting the gracious curves of our fair city, a symbolic reminder of the gorgeous structures possible as a result of civil engineering.

Our suburban correspondents were recently left distressed after hearing tales of the blatant disrespect directed at our gracious bean. It has now been confirmed that anonymous members of the student body have referred to it as ‘The Kidney-bout’, ‘That fucked roundabout’ and ‘The intersection of Knighton Road, Clyde St and Cameron Road’. We would like to advise the students that incorrect referral of the Beanabout will soon be recognised as a hate crime, this public service announcement serving as the final warning before legal action will be taken. ♦ 26

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Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

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Student Experience — Wheako Tauira

Have an event you want featured? Flick an email to editor@nexusmag.co.nz with details of the event and we’ll get in touch.

DIAZ GRIMM & T1R- Warehouse Party Friday September 15th, 7pm onwards, location TBA Tickets $15+BF It’s still a little too cold to get loose in the forest so the crew at Too Cut are pumping out the next best thing, a secret warehouse rave. Cambridge legend Diaz Grimm has been making moves in the global hip hop scene and is now popping back to headline this massive night. Early bird tickets have already sold out so make sure to jump on Facebook and secure your spot now.

Hear Jacinda Ardern in Hamilton Wednesday September 6th 10-11am at The Meteor Labour leader Jacinda Ardern is making her way to Hamilton this week, stopping off at The Meteor to speak to the public about important issues affecting Hamilton. Rumour has it she’ll also be popping into campus between 12-1pm the same day. See next page for more info.

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Hamilton Roadshow- The Opportunities Party Tuesday September 5th 6.30-8pm, Claudelands Arena Gareth Morgan is also popping into Hamilton this week to have a chat about how The Opportunities Party’s policies are going to help make Aotearoa New Zealand fair. The Talk will go for about half an hour followed by half an hour of Q & A, time to voice opinions, concerns and everything in between with Gareth.

Skinny Hobos in Hobotron Fri September 8th, Nivara Lounge Doors open: 8:00pm Gig starts: 9pm The Hobos have kept busy this winter, supporting acts all over the show and producing a blistering set at the Auckland City Rockfest. They’re now slipping on in to our scrumptious city, ready to produce another ripper of an evening and solidify themselves as one of New Zealand’s hottest rock acts. Tickets are strictly $10 from the door.

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Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Pass the AUX Playlist_14

↑ FLUME

Jacqui Swney Once again, I’m having trouble picking only three songs for this week. This is mostly because I haven’t really been listening to music, rather I’ve been playing it in the background to numb my overactive brain and make sure people don’t talk to me while I sit in the library pretending to do my assignments. So instead I’m going to present you with three playlists full of stuff that I’ve been playing to keep the humans off my back. Enjoy.

Chilled Classics by Spotify The only way I can describe this one is is with silent tears and holding a lighter up as I pretend to be at Woodstock and get nostalgic for a time that I never got to experience. Basically this compilation is every oldies song that you would sit around a campfire singing, the slow and relaxed classics that were pumped out in the generations before our time. It gives us Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin without the mosh, as well as Bob Dylan, Eric Clapton, and Tracy Chapman. A healthy mix of the singersongwriters that we worship alongside the classic rock legends make a playlist of pure perfection. I can find no flaws. There’s something for everyone on this one.

Flume - Essentials Playlist by Flume So this one is basically a big playlist of people that sound like Flume, or people Flume has collaborated with. Stand outs include ‘Aurora’ by Cashmere Cat, ‘Sweet’ by Little Dragon, and ‘Night Swimmers’- Mura Masa edit

by Foals. While the tone of this playlist is a little monotonous, with no real variation in music 30

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style or genre, it’s a got a decent spread of artists and tunes. However, if you were planning to hijack the AUX at your next party, this one’s a solid go-to and you wouldn’t get too many dirty looks for playing shit tunes.

Homemade Dynamite by Lorde Yes, we all know that Lorde has a song called ‘Homemade Dynamite’, which I am a fan of. But this is a playlist, and it’s so diverse in its sound that I can’t pinpoint any one word to describe it. I don’t know about you, but I frequently wonder what musicians like Lorde listen to that makes them seem so alternative and complex.

I feel like looking into someone’s Spotify gives you a little peek into their soul and I quite like what I’m seeing. She gives us a plethora of pop, rap, indie and oldies tunes, and even a little shameless self-promo, but somehow they all work together to create something to keep you on your toes. The Mamas and Papas come together with Simon and Garfunkel and George Harrison to give us a decent taste of oldies.

While Bon Iver, Lykke Li, and Toro y Moi give us a chance to chill out and just listen. There’s a 10/10 mix of musicians on this playlist. ♦

↑ CHILLED CLASSICS

↑ FLUME - ESSENTIALS

↑ HOMEMADE DYNAMITE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Opinionated Losing my Religion Jean Balchin “That’s me in the corner / That’s me in the spotlight / Losing my religion…”

The immortal words of R.E.M were the soundtrack of my teenage years. Instead of a regular teenage rebellion involving sex, drugs and rock’n’roll, I defied my parents by reading feminist literature, blaring AC/DC from my room, and refusing to go to church. It was a tense time in my household, and I was threatened with eviction numerous times. But hey, what teenager doesn’t go through an angry, resentful stage?

Now that I’ve left home, things are a little different. If anything, I’ve become more outspoken about my views and lack of interest in church and Christianity. While the spats are less vociferous and heated, I’m still aware that my writing and activism upsets my parents (and at times my siblings — hi Andrew!). But I firmly believe that it’s important that I speak up for myself. There’s a certain freedom that accompanies setting a pen to paper and letting all my anger and frustration flow out.

When I first began writing about growing up in a fundamentalist household, I let my fury and indignation leak out of every word I wrote. I viciously attacked people. I was arrogant, angry and sick of being ignored. I berated my parents for enrolling me in a subpar homeschooling curriculum, for not seriously addressing my depression, and for letting me attend church camps where I grew to hate my body. I understand now that they did all of this out of love (albeit misguided). Since then, I’ve tried to make my words less cutting and visceral. But I

still have the obligation to challenge certain ideals I was taught, especially as these beliefs have the potential to harm others beside myself.

Over the last five years, I’ve begun to realise how truly senseless the world can be.

My childhood was relatively safe and loving, but shit still hit the fan further down the path.

I’ve seen friends and loved ones struggle with mental health issues, too scared to ask for help.

I’ve walked past countless homeless people on the sidewalks of Berlin, Paris and Edinburgh.

Instinctively I think of praying for them — instead of offering them material help. It’s a reflex, a comforting mental mantra that eases my own discomfort. It’s not enough. I believe that in the face of social injustice, poverty and suffering, we should kick up a fuss and make some noise. We need to prove through our words and actions that change can happen. Prayers and silent complicity are not the way forward.

It’s an awful thing to know that my writing upsets the people I love most in the world. But I also know that my ideas, opinions and beliefs help people, or at the very least, entertain them.

The pen may be mightier than the sword, but it’s certainly a double-edged weapon. Wield your words with care. ♦

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Columns — Maramara Kōrero

The Fashion Critic Fashion Week Tossers Amanda van der Klompf Last week was New Zealand Fashion Week; I’ll make haste and declare that it was a bit shit.

In comparison to the magnificence of Paris, watching shows in Auckland feels a bit like strolling down a Kmart clothing aisle and trying to distinguish what each rack of clothes is a cheap version of. Nevertheless, every fashion week across the globe offers something universally spectacular, and it doesn’t occur inside the showroom.

The best place to be during fashion week is outside the shows, before and after the event.

Here, you’ll observe one of the most fascinating human rituals of our time. It’s quite like being David Attenborough, peering through the zoom lens of your Olympus and seeing primal beasts exhibit strange mating behaviour. It’s an intricate dance between street style photographers and… well, whoever can act bizarre enough to get their attention.

Women show up in garments that evoke the rear end of a baboon, men display samples of baroque wallpaper in suit form. Often, these street style aficionados seems to have played one of those “Make a Creature!” games where you mix and match top, middle and bottom panels in order to chuckle for a few empty seconds. When the singular goal is to wear something that nobody has ever worn before, one strays further and further into the abyss of “what the fuck are they wearing?”

Weather is never a concern to these individuals. Come rain or shine, the Saint Laurent bikini top will be worn with this Lanvin lace blouse. The impracticalities of navigating 32

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cobbled streets and treacherous gutters and grills has no impact on the decision to wear six inch Gucci stilettos.

For some, fame can be achieved simply by dressing up like a bit of a git. Take Anna Dello Russo, for example; fashion’s largest slice of streaky bacon/occasional stand-in for Big Bird.

The editor-at-large for Vogue Japan has 13,838 posts and 1,400,000 followers on Instagram, mainly due to her fashion week escapades. We’ll set aside the fact that she promotes and exhibits some of the most wasteful, environmentally unconscious behaviour in regards to the consumption of fashion; and that she thought it was okay to sport a Native American headdress while on holiday in Ibiza. We’ll ignore that she is the manifestation of all things bad about fashion - the classism, the consumerism, the egotism…

We’ll do all of this to say that on the bright side, looking as consistently idiotic as she does requires buckets of courage.

For most of these street style hopefuls, the excitement starts and ends with one or two pictures being scattered across blogs. As many times as they’ll exit and re-enter the flurry of photographers, in order to seem “too busy for a photo” and desperately candid, the majority will only get a quick snap and call it a day.

So, next time you spot an outfit on the runway that leaves you boggled as to “who on earth would wear that?” - know that there’s always someone clawing for attention, who will indeed stoop to that level in order to grab it. ♦

↑ STREET STYLE GITS

↑ A N N A D E L LO R U S S O

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Lonely Tarts Club To Shave or Not to Shave?

Jennie-Louise Kendrick Pubes. Glorious pubes. There are so many ways to maintain them and ever more opinions on what to do with them. Whether it is curly or straight, pubic hair is a subject that divides people. Young men* are taught to be proud of their short and curlies, it’s a sign of them growing into virile humans through puberty. Whereas women* are taught to be ashamed of their fanny fuzz; encouraged to groom it as early as possible. One must never allude to the fact that their genitals naturally resemble a Maine Coon rather than a Sphynx.

Ancient Egyptians were the first (we think) to do anything to their body hair, and boy, did they do something. It’s believed that they removed all of their hair, including eyebrows and head hair using seashells as tweezers, beeswax and pumice. During the Roman Empire, wealthy women used razors made from flints, tweezers, creams, and stones to remove excess hair. In fact, pubic hair was considered uncivilised, so many famous statues and paintings of Grecian women are depicted hairless. Queen Elizabeth I was the trendsetter of the Middle Ages, choosing to remove eyebrows and forehead hair to make her dome look enormous. Trendy ladies followed suit; using cat piss and walnut oil to get Lizzie’s look, no facial hair and untouched body hair.

From then to the 1970s, women continued to use painful and often niggly methods for removing hair like depilatory creams and epilator devices.

You can’t open a nudie mag from the hippie era and not be confronted by a full bush, women were liberated and decidedly hairy. It’s still a joke now that feminists are hairy; however, that is

not the case for all. Body hair is a feminist issue.

Our bodies are meant to have hair everywhere, and many people are genetically predisposed to having thicker, darker hair. Many women* of colour and women* with hormonal disorders, such as PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), struggle with excessive hair growth in areas like the upper lip, chin and sideburns that can be particularly embarrassing and makes one feel lesser. Less beautiful, less “feminine”, less valued. If your chosen sexual partner is a man (let’s be honest, we’re talking straight cisnormative men here), then like me, you’ve been personally asked about your pubes. Whether you shave or wax; whether you would bend over in the shower and risk life and limb to shave your vagina to look hairless and prepubescent. It’s really rather misogynistic and weird; if I have to accept that oral sex may lead to an unnecessary flossing, then why the fuck are you so scared about a considerate and hygienic ladybush? So here’s a general rule to live by; if your partner would maintain their body bush as per your preferences, then it’s totally ok to do it for your partner’s sake. If you can’t be straight up with your sexual partner about your hair preferences then you shouldn’t be having sex. Never be made to feel bad about your body because body hair is natural, beautiful and needed. ♦

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Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Yam and Troy the Science Boys “It Wasn’t Just One Cyclone! It Was About Three of Them” Troy the Science Boy You often get hit with some bullshit arguments from the anti-science people. One that fucks me up a lot is the “How can NASA accurately predict shit that’s going on in space hundreds of years away but we can’t predict the weather with any accuracy beyond a few days?” This one is infuriating because these people clearly have no grasp of basic cause and effect type shit and variables, you know those things that vary. Things that are going on in our universe are relatively easy to predict because space is fucking massive and fucking empty, meaning there are bugger all variables that need to be considered. Weather and meteorology, on the other hand, have shit loads. In order to get an accurate prediction of say, next year’s weather, you need to know the exact position and conditions of every single atmospheric particle on the planet. Yeah, doesn’t sound so obvious now does it?

The very basis of weather on Earth is fundamentally influenced by the sun, specifically the way it heats the earth’s atmosphere. Due to Earth’s shape (spherical in case anyone thought otherwise) as well as differences in air density etc. cause the atmosphere to be heated unevenly.

This, in turn, causes air currents between the areas of temperature gradient. Hotter areas increase in pressure and cause wind to occur in the direction of colder, lower pressure areas.

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heat redistribution is the result of convective heating of the Earth’s surface. The air closer to the ground is hotter than that higher up and this is what causes clouds, rain, thunderstorms, ya know, all that jazz. The other type, horizontal is the result of larger amounts of heat in tropical areas near the equator and smaller amounts at the poles. Wind movement occurs from tropical areas to higher latitude areas.

In areas with large amounts of water, the amount of clouds and precipitation will be proportionately larger than areas with little or no water (i.e.: deserts). Clouds, rain, and storms are the natural result of vertical heat redistribution, the air flow carrying water vapour to high altitudes where it re-condenses and just generally fucks your day up. It fucks your day up real good when it gets out of hand, like for instance when the ocean gets a bit hot, the air gets a bit turbulent and you get yourself a cyclone. Days ruined everywhere. Warmer waters and rotational wind currents can provide enough energy to kick up a mad fuss and create tropical cyclones.

Now I want you to imagine that scene from 21 Jump Street where Jonah Hill is trying to pray to Korean Jesus, doesn’t know how to end it and just says “the end” while Channing Tatum laughs on. That’s what’s happening now. The end. Love you bye. ♦

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Auteur House Robert Mitchum Richard Swainson

↑ E L E VAT O R T O T H E G A L LOW S ( 1 9 5 8 )

↑ T H E LOV E R S ( 1 9 5 8 )

Jeanne Moreau, one of the key figures in French post-war cinema, died on the 31st of July this year.

Arguably, Moreau was not a great beauty, nor did she have a particularly broad expressive range.

However, few performers have ever exerted such raw sensuality on screen. Moreau’s portrayals of the liberated modern woman made those of her famous sex symbol contemporaries, Marilyn Monroe and Brigitte Bardot, seem cartoon-like in comparison.

Though she came to be thought of as an icon of the French New Wave, Moreau’s stardom predated it by some years and her strongest work was with directors not formally associated with the movement. After a small but memorable role as the erotic dancer in Jacques Becker’s 1954 film noir Touchez pas au grisbi, she became a leading lady under the direction of Louis Malle. Malle’s Elevator to the Gallows (1958), another thriller, had a groundbreaking jazz score by Miles Davis and gave Moreau a classic femme fatale part.

The Lovers (1958) was the real breakthrough.

Playing a married woman so overwhelmed by her sexual awakening that she deserts both husband and children, Moreau was a sensation.

An affront to bourgeoise morality, The Lovers ran into significant censorship problems in the USA. The early 1960s were Moreau’s prime years.

She was the disillusioned wife of Marcello Mastroianni in La Notte (1961), the second film in Michelangelo Antonioni’s famous alienation trilogy, the actress obsessed over by Stanley Baker in Joseph Losey’s fascinating and intense drama Eve (1962), the compulsive gambler in Jacques Demy’s Bay of Angels (1964) and the resilient domestic servant in Luis Bunuel’s

subtlety surreal Diary of a Chambermaid (1964).

Two films by Francois Truffaut also confirmed her New Wave credentials: as Catherine, the woman at the centre of cinema’s most famous ménage à trois in Jules et Jim (1961) and the title role in the Hitchcockian black comedy The Bride Wore Black (1968), anticipating Uma Thurman’s Beatrix Kiddo by some 35 years.

Moreau was also a favourite of the greatest director of them all, Orson Welles. A small part in The Trial (1962) led to her casting as Shakespeare’s Doll Tearsheet opposite Welles’ Falstaff in his Chimes at Midnight (1965), a role she played with much sensitivity. Moreau was the lead in another uncompleted project, The Deep and was again Welles’ love interest in the atypically slow but nevertheless beautifully shot The Immortal Story (1968), the director’s film first in colour. ♦

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Snapped — Atapaki

SNAPPED.

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB. If you wish to remove a snap from the mag before publication on Thursday, let us know what the snap is and why it needs to be removed.

NER

WIN

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Blind Date — He aru makau

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Blind—

Brought to you by House on Hood Street.

Each week Nexus attempts to make a romantic connection.

If you're keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz He’s a dreamy surfer with a heart of gold and a passion for zesty watermelons. She’s a local icon with a stellar immune system and ties to Hamilton’s royal family. Will this lovely young man have what it takes to charm the Victoria St princess?

He said: Confidence was found at the end of a bottle of beer prior to the evening, with my mate playing taxi, he drove me to the House a good few minutes late, which I assume she was not too stoked about. We were sat down when introductions started. Being well frosty, I surely forgot her name instantly, but goodness, she did too, so then the re-introductions started. Turns out she already finished her degree but was doing an extra paper over the semester, and there I was, 19, young, and dumb, playing the ol’ ‘agreeing to whatever she was saying, but probably understanding bugger all’ game. From the get go she was ordering jugs and shots, which were tasty as shit, however I was admittedly struggling to keep up whilst also holding my shit together. Conversation flowed for the whole time, can’t remember fuck all of what was said but I do remember executing a perfectly timed bathroom break before hitting the cocktail bar. The old dome was spinning on the walk over where we had another cocktail, where more vague yarns were had, before her taking me around the corner for a cheeky pash. Little did she know it was my first time, and if there’s one thing all those pornos taught me, it’s how NOT to kiss a girl, and that my doodle is well small. We then parted ways, my path being straight to BK, $3 nuggies x 2. We at some point did exchange FB and SC info, can’t quite remember, but all in all, she seems like a cool chick that was a bit of fun.

She said: Arrived at house at exactly 7.30 sharp hoping my handsome prince would at least have some time management skills in check… unfortunately I was wrong… I was that awkward chick standing at the bar for 10 minutes thinking she was stood up. What a great start to the evening… We sat at our table and started chatting. A few sentences in and realised with the stumble of his words he was either super shy or pre-gamed a bit too hard.

This suspicion was confirmed when he spilt his cider all over his pants. Great, my date was late and super clumsy. (cheers Nexus). A couple of jugs and a few shots each later, this is where the convo really started to pick up. A cheeky game of never have I ever got the banter rolling, and ended with me discovering he’d slept with almost three times the amount of people than I have. Now this got my hopes up that perhaps the evening could end with me learning some more tricks to add to my repertoire. What can I say, he was cute, tall and promised to teach me how to surf. Was this love at first sight? We ended up being the last people left, managing two and a half hours of solid convo. At this point, we were both quite tipsy so decided surely it was time to hit up Easy Tiger for a long island or two. I’d discovered he was an engineer, creating a startup company. So maybe Nexus didn’t do so bad after all? Can we add rich to the traits described earlier? I’d decided enough was enough and went in for a sneaky hook up.

However this was cut short when mid-pash he decided to bite my lip. Like are you still in high school? That was it, date was definitely cut… done. But let’s be honest, if I was ever to run into him mid Outback dancefloor, surely he’d have learnt his lesson and we could see what happens then right?

Date.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puzzles — Panga

HOROSCOPES Aries: March 21 — April 19 You’re full of ambition but being materialistic can quickly become a burden. Be realistic, how often do you actually use that Nutribullet?

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Gemini: May 21 — June 20 Much like a moist sponge, you’re a sappy mess with minimal purpose. Give your dome a substantial squeeze and sit in the sink.

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Leo: July 22 — August 22 Innovation is the flavour of Spring. Wearing a backwards hat is pointless, unless you’re hiding your tragic hairline.

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Virgo: August 23 — September 22 Take a stroll through the astral garden of a Capricorn. Rediscover yourself, redefine your brand. Stop yelling at cars when you drive.

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Cancer: June 21 — July 22 The zodiac only delivers what is deserved.

Respectable yardy times only come to those who practice daily.

THEME: Artists & bands who turned down the opportunity to score Steven Spielberg’s Schindler’s List.

Libra: September 23 — October 22 You can’t edit the past, but you can alter the future.

Spice it up, break an arm and practice tatoos on your sweet cast.

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The Wanted

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Scorpio: October 23 — November 21 The change in seasons will bring revision to your sexual perversions. Asphyxiation is only scary if you want it to be.

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Macintosh Plus

Sagittarius: November 22 — December 21 Revisit a favourite childhood film. Take note of newly discovered dark undertones. You’re growing up, there’s no going back.

Capricorn: December 22 — January 19 The orbital nature of space bound spheres provides much needed insight. Flirtatious charm doesn’t roll away, you just never had it.

Aquarius: January 20 — February 18 Hydration comes easily to items in the peripheral zone. Ventures with bottled water have been known to go awry, protect your laptop.

Pisces: February 19 — March 20 As the semester lingers on, you crave a rush of excitement. Falling down the library stairs is more rewarding than you’d think.

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WORDFIND

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SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

List three reasons why this is not a camel.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puzzles — Panga

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Down 1. Nocturnal canine (6) 2. Enthroned (7) 3. Appointed committee (5) 4. Lessee (6) 5. Large ape (7) 6. Fruit of the oak (5) 7. Wilderness (6) 13. Writing implements (7) 15. Leviathan (7) 16. Takes over without authority (6) 17. Elongated fruit (6) 18. Treasure (6) 20. Terminus (5) 22. Dull pains (5)

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Find as words longer than three letters by connecting the letters vertically, horizontally or diagonally.

Letters can be used only once per word.

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Dolmio P/Sauce

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2 3 99 2 2 FOR $5

Sanitarium Up ‘n Go 1 Litre

49

Continental Cup a Soups 2’s/4’s

FOR $3

Prices valid until Sunday 10th September 2017. Trade not supplied.

Valid at PAK’nSAVE Clarence Street only.

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