Nexus 2016 Issue 01

N.01 / V.48

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18 O-WEEK ANECDOTES

16 ORI2016 SURVIVAL GUIDE

04

NEXUS NEWS

04

ORI2016

06

$tudent Loans & $tudylink

07

CARE

08

ENTERTAINMENT

10

20 JULES CRAFT AKA MC CRAFTY

12

ARTS

12

AUTEUR

13

COVER ARTIST PROFILE

30

SNAPPED

31

BLIND DATE

32

PUZZLES

REVIEWS

24 COLUMNS 24

PREZ SEZ Welcome

24

MODERN DAY MIXTAPE V1

25

NERD YORK TIMES 2016: Year of the Nerd

25

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY First Day of Uni

26

NEW LOCALS What’s O-Week?

26

@NEXUSMAG @Nexusmag

27

PAK’NSAVE HEAD CHEF Hangover Breakfast

22

YOUR SPACE A Stay at May

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL WELCOME TO BIG KID SCHOOL

CONTRIBUTERS

BRITTANY ROSE Editor Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz Ah, Orientation — for some this means finding your feet in a new town, awkward small talk with the person next to you in the halls, and getting your head around the room-naming system at

Design Olivia Paris

the uni (it’s really not that complex, I promise). For others this week is about finding your dignity

design@nexusmag.co.nz

as you roll out of bed with a pounding headache and an unquenchable thirst after going way too hard on the funnels. Either way, welcome to Nexus 2016, my name’s Brittany Rose and I’ll be

Deputy Editor Lyam Buchanan

your editor this year.

lyam@nexusmag.co.nz

Last week Big in our Backyard began, and this week it continues alongside the regular townbased traditions. It’s a rite of passage to sweat the night away, and dance to repetitive music while wrapped in a sheet. It may be a rite of passage, but it’s a pretty average one in my experience.

Mainly because I missed out as an 18yo. I used to hang out with ~older boys~ at High School, and was young-ish in my school-leaving cohort; by the time I could legally enter 101 everyone was over going to town. Instead they opted to talk shit and play Dota — they may have been older, but they weren’t exactly Cool Kids. I sat in the lounge (also talking shit) and drank multiple bottles of Aquila. Tragic, but true.

Anyway, the point is this: I never properly did O-Week. At least, not until I accidentally ended up

Managing Editor James Raffan Contributors Rachael Elliott, Elaine Gyde, William Lewis, Sean Hurley, Dr. Richard Swainson, Jared Wooldridge, Georgia Pullock, Peter Dornauf, Emma Nygard, Indula Jayasundara, Bronwyn Laundry, Shalini Guleria Cover Illustration Caleb Mcnabb

in Outback with my friend kicking sawdust on my pink suede wedges for my first Beerfest at age 22. And then again last year, with my Secondary Teaching Conjoint classmates dressed sort of,

Photography Awhina Kerr, Sarah Hyde

kind of, a little bit like pirates (they had red scarves in their hair). So, essentially, what I’m saying is this: Orientation can be about firsts, regardless of whether you’re a first year student or not. Take

Advertising

us, for example. This first issue of Nexus 2016 brings with it my debut as a cover model, thanks to

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

our cover artist Caleb McNabb, our first Arts Profile (pg.13), the first published column for many of our new writers, and the first time (of many) that I shamelessly plug our social media — @

Offices

nexusmag, across all platforms.

Ground Floor, Student Union Building

We’ve got an awesome 24 issues lined up for you, and a bonus semi-issue online for the threeday week following Easter. Returning students, you’ll see the same favourites coming back again — a Sex Issue, a Music Issue during NZ Music Month and a Vices (read: drugs) Issue. New students, get ready for the best, most swear-filled magazine you’ve ever laid your clammy lil hands on, while everyone else rolls their eyes and bitches about our quality of content. Don’t think I don’t hear you.

Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton Online facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

After that stunning pitch, I’m sure you all wanna write, art or photograph for us.

Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz.

ISSUE 01 29 FEBRUARY 2016 ORI2016

1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

As the old adage goes: “If you have nothing nice to say, send it to Nexus Lettuce.” Sometimes we all just need to have an anonymous rant, and

NON VOGUE ANNA WINTOUR

because no one wants to listen to your negativity you should send your complaint to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz Alternatively you could be nice. Compliment our cover artist on their sick work, compliment our reviewers for a spot-on critique, or compliment our editor because she really is a celestial being sent to Earth to bring peace

Your OOTD post with Jules in it shows that whoever runs the Nexus instagram has no fashion sense. That guy is so annoying and has wears those stupid sunglasses while he’s MCing while it’s dark. They don’t even look good.

and joy (and write Lettuce intros).

Disclaimer: Nexus takes no responsibility for your fuck ups, so if you

FUCK MAX KEY

misspell or misuse words then that’s your problem.

SCHOOLYARD BULLY

I watched a video of Max Key reading out mean comments on Social

DUCK LAKE IS YUCK DUCK’S RIGHTS ACTIVIST

Media today. George FM said they were all ruthless, but after watching Max stumble through all of the comments I am truly saddened by the conclusion I have come to, which is that none of them were fucking ruthless enough.

They were mean but by no means ruthless. Mean makes someone feel a wee

The uni lake is disgusting. It’s usually pretty gross, but at the moment there is brown

bit concerned, when I see that someone is reading out ruthless comments

scum floating on its surface. I feel sorry for the ducks. They don’t deserve their

about themselves, I don’t want to see them laugh it off, I expect to see them

home being a cesspool. Uni talks like they’re really sustainable and into recycling

slowly shatter on the inside, crumpling as the pieces of their souls break

and the environment but they obviously don’t if you look at the state of the lake.

away and die. I want him to question his sense of identity, wonder if it was a mistake his ancestors didn’t die of the bubonic plague.. I want to see him

LICENSE TO WHINGE

physically stumble as his legs give way, and his eyes strain to create tears but really just leak out the last stain of his childhood innocence. None of this

GRUMPY MC ARPARK

Max key is Gay shit. Pussies.

Parking is shit enough, but why the fuck do i have to memorise my license plate number. It makes no sense why cant i just pay and display like normal parking?

SLEEPY BOI

PRAISE DIONYSUS

To the builders next door,

GRATEFUL SECOND YEAR

It’s all good and well blasting Mai FM day in and out but do the nail guns

SLEEP DEPRIVED WHINGE BAG

really need to be used full force at 8am?

I just want to thank the O-Week Gods for finally delivering a massive event. Ever since first year I have said the problem with O-week gigs is that their are too many people and you can’t feel free to cut some shapes without knocking into someone standing two metres from you. Glad you fixed that. It’s also cool that your providing

*POOP EMOJI* DISGUSTED

transport. That way I can go in to town at eight o clock without having to wait in a line with people my own age that I want to talk to. The gigs are great though when

Serious question — does anyone ever clean the toilets in the Student

Max Key was talking on stage it felt like he was just talking to me.

Centre? I’ve been here for summer school and noticed a gross brown blob on the floor in the ladies toilets on level 2 when I started. Nearly two months

RIA, PROFESSIONAL FUN CHICK

later and it’s STILL THERE. Hygiene is important. Sort it out or I’ll piss on the Green.

SECRET ADMIRER

That chick who’s always on the green telling all the people in yellow shirts what to do and stuff is really full on ay. Like, she seems like a super fun. I saw her and a couple of other yellow t shirt people just jamming on their own for hours to Tiki.

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public

LADY LECTURERS FED UP FEMINIST

scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or

Hey Waikato, I’m glad you’re celebrating your ‘progressive’ gender equality but only ¼ of your professors being female is still complete and utter bullshit, jus sayin.

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ORI2016

hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

John Delaney and Waiata Bell have both won the $1000 Environmental Law Prize

ONYA

LEGAL STARS WIN PRIZE

for receiving top marks in a Waikato environmental law paper.

STEPPING HIGHER IN NEPAL Hillary scholars (L-R) Ashton Ledger, Dolan Cox, Shelby Wilson and Tamsin Moala are volunteering and trekking in Nepal as part

SHIP FOR WORLD YOUTH

of the Step Higher Award programme.

Law and social science student Shaymaa Arif is one of 250 international delegates on the Ship for World Youth (SWY) Programme in Japan.

WORLD’S FASTEST KIWI IN INDIA? Law graduate Tim Chittock is attempting to set a world record for cycling the PATHWAYS TO EXCELLENCE

Indian Golden Quadrilateral (300km a

Welcome and congrats to all the new students from South

day for 20 days). Follow his journey on

Waikato who are part of our Te Ara ki Angitū: Pathways to

our Facebook page.

Excellence programme.

Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

PARKING ON CAMPUS

STUDENT INFORMATION CENTRE

We’re putting Waikato orientation on the

Friendly reminder that parking on campus

If you have any questions or need help,

map with live music featuring Kora and

Monday-Friday, 8.30am-4.30pm, costs $2

visit the Student Admin team on Level 2

State of Mind, comedy with Ben Hurley

a day, $6 a week or $60 a semester. The

of the Student Centre. They can help you

and Nick Rado, outdoor cinema, Chiefs

rest of the time it’s free, just be sure not

with enrolment, Student IDs, fee enquiries

rugby, free transport and more — all

to park in a reserved/numbered spot —

and parking. Call 0800 WAIKATO for

included in one ticket! Secure yours

these are reserved for paid permits. Visit

more info.

at ori2016.co.nz. The event is R16 and

waikato.ac.nz/go/parking for more info.

sponsored by Good George and ZM.

NEED A DOCTOR?

SORT YOUR GYM MEMBERSHIP

MAKE YOUR CV STAND OUT

Student Health offers all enrolled students

UniRec is offering a range of great value

Create a CV and cover letter that makes

confidential and professional medical

student memberships, including the brand

your application stand out. Come to a

services on campus. Most services are free

new A+B Semester membership, available

drop-in session with Career Development

once you register. Find out more at the

to purchase until 31 March. Visit them on

Services, Level 1, Student Centre, for free

Student Health building next to the Gate

campus or go to unirec.co.nz

advice and support. Visit waikato.ac.nz/

1 carpark.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

sasd/careers/ for session times.

NEED TO KNOW

GET YOUR TICKET TO ORI2016

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS FEATURE ORI2016

RACHAEL ELLIOTT & BRITTANY ROSE

As you’ll have gathered, there’s been extra orientation this year — ORI2016. Big

you’re actually interested in — novel concept, I know. It will mean less time

in our Backyard, the official on-campus O-Week event, kicked off last week, and

standing in line at the Student Centre, less chance you’ll miss your first lecture

so did the 100 level mini-lectures. Basically they were half an hour of sitting

(beersies notwithstanding) and hopefully less time spent during the semester

in a lecture room — that you probably turned up late to because you got lost

staring blankly at Nexus, rationing your M&M’s across the hour as you contemplate

on campus — with a bunch of other clueless first years and being introduced

the futility of your existence and mounting student debt. (If you do end up in line

to the pain in the ass that is Moodle (Why does it not have an app yet?). It

at the Student Centre, look up. The ceiling has a really stoned disco on the roof. It

kinda sounds like a waste of time, right? What’s the fucking point? We asked

may help pass the time).

an ‘anonymous’ Uni insider (it’s Former Editor Rachael Elliott who now works for the Uni), and lecturers Dr Maxine Campbell and Dr Mark Houlahan their thoughts on the matter.

There were also more general sessions like “Stop being a Munter with Money”, “How Do Computer Use Good?”, “Plagiarism for Dummies” and “The Library is Your Friend” NB: probs not what they are actually called. There’s something for

O-WEEK’S GONE ALL GIRL GUIDE: WHY IT’S IMPORTANT TO BE PREPARED If there is one universal student experience (except for the bank account enforced

everyone! (Seriously, if you made it to 2nd year without going to meet your subject librarian you’re a damn fool. Stop what you are doing and GO TO THE LIBRARY — they will make your life so much easier.)

peanut butter toast/noodle diet) it is the rage you feel as you leave a first lecture

The regular carnage along with the first week of official classes begins on the 29th

thinking — what did I just sit through? Also known as: NO FUCKING WAY am I

of February, so this year you get double the fun: O-weekx2.

taking this shithouse course.

Eventually O-week will take up residence in the week prior to classes — so enjoy

You know that one sentence blurb that tells you about a paper? The only piece

this while it lasts. From next year you’ll be able to get your shit sorted and your

of information that you have to help you decide which papers to choose? The

extreme partying out of the way without making a bad impression on your

University has finally realised that it’s not enough information to make a choice

lecturers. You may even make it to classes during the first week. But for now there

that impacts the rest of your life, and thus Week Zero was born.

is double the fun. We’re halfway through two weeks of concerts, two weeks of

First years: the idea is that you could hit as many mini-lectures for new papers as you like between the 22nd and 26th of February. That way gain a better

random games going down on the Green, two weeks of free food, other giveaways and Jules talking shit. There’s even a WSU beer this year!

understanding of what courses actually entail, you’re able to choose your papers

Get amongst, get turnt, and get your shit together — you’re a grown up now (or

earlier, and be ready to start classes on the 29th of February — studying things

something). After all, being prepared means you’ve got more time to party.

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News NEXUS MAGAZINE

DR MAXINE CAMPBELL SCHOOL OF SOCIAL SCIENCES How important do you think it is for new students to attend the ORI2016 academic mini lectures?

It’s really important to attend the first full lecture for the paper because a range of crucial information is covered in that lecture. The O-week mini lectures are

DAMIEN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT (GERMANY) SPORTS, ENGLISH, EDUCATION How are the the mini lectures for the 100 level papers?

It’s nice here, seen a lot. I walked from a hostel on Victoria St, so I’m getting to know Hamilton.

supplementary and therefore less essential. They will be useful for helping first

Are you attending ORI Big in our Backyard? Why/Why not?

year students (new to uni and some subjects at tertiary level) to decide if this

No, it’s the first day today, so we’re just getting to know the

really is a paper they want to take.

other international students.

Who is the most advantaged and/or disadvantaged group of people affected by this timetabling change?

New students who live in Hamilton, or are here earlier than the start of semester (e.g. in Halls of Residence) will likely benefit most. Students living out of town, or arriving from overseas may face extra costs if they want to attend these mini lectures. For example, an extra week’s accommodation costs or travel from out of town for as many as four first year mini lectures. I’m not sure if all the ures are on just one day or if students might have to come in on multiple days. Staff also have to travel to the Tauranga campus to give one a half hour lecture.

Any additional thoughts?

MATTHIEU INTERNATIONAL STUDENT (FRANCE) ELECTRONICS, COMPUTERS How are the the mini lectures for the 100 level papers?

We arrived last week, so we are getting to know the campus. I haven’t been to lectures, but we meet with international students.

Are you attending ORI Big in our Backyard? Why/Why not?

Not going yet, a bit unsure

It will be interesting to see if there is any improvement in the frequency and timing of students changing courses in the first few weeks of semester. As I understand it, this is the main driver for introducing the mini lectures.

MADDY 1ST YEAR ARTS How are the the mini lectures for the 100 level papers?

DR MARK HOULAHAN SCHOOL OF ARTS

I’ve been to three already, and it’s only the first day. I went to

How important do you think it is for new students to attend the ORI2016

pretty cool, really useful.

academic mini lectures?

It’s a great opportunity to go along and orientate yourself to the university experience — and for these purposes; be uncool! Behave like a mature student and raise your hand. It is still crucial to attend the first lecture, but this gives

my faculty one and a few of the other UNI101 ones. They were

Are you attending ORI Big in our Backyard? Why/Why not?

Yes, got my ticket, I know there’s an outdoor cinema in the second week. And comedy which looks cool.

you an extra opportunity to raise your hand. This whole thing is quite Back to the Future — before computer enrolments and online StudyLink applications where you can scan in your documents and apply for university online you had to physically be on campus in the time leading up to semester’s start. There would be tables all around campus and you’d go along with your sheet of paper and talk to people who’d sign you off and check your prerequisites. Now you can stay at the beach. It’s a rebirth of an old idea because everyone was on campus and there was advice, clubs, silly jelly wrestling and sausage sizzles, so it’s really a return to that pattern.

Who is the most advantaged and/or disadvantaged group of people affected by this timetabling change?

KATE 1ST YEAR ARTS How are the the mini lectures for the 100 level papers?

Yeah, Maddy and I went together. They’ve been pretty interesting. I’m hoping I won’t get overwhelmed in my first week.

Are you attending ORI Big in our Backyard? Why/Why not?

Yep, I don’t really know who I’m seeing. I don’t recognise anyone, but I guess we’ll see!

This has positive benefit for all students — except those who, for example, may have a flat that has a lease beginning March 1st being the Tuesday of week one.

It may disadvantage those who can’t be on campus. The mini lectures do not replace the first lecture where the course is properly introduced, but they offer an opportunity to raise your hand and ask those question like “What’s Moodle?”, “How can I find the required readings list?”, “Do I have to buy all of these books?

And where can I get them cheap?”.

Any additional thoughts?

When seeing this roll out in B Semester as well it will be good to see increased opportunities for new students to ask questions and become familiar with being on campus. There’s a huge amount of work for lecturers in inputting the course

SHEREE 1ST YEAR SCIENCE How are the the mini lectures for the 100 level papers?

I haven’t been to any yet, but I will go see them. There’s a repeat tomorrow (Tuesday 23rd February) Are you attending ORI Big in our Backyard? Why/Why not?

I’m thinking about it, maybe. I don’t know why we haven’t got our tickets yet!

outlines and readings list into the online platforms in this first instance, but this

Who are you looking forward to seeing?

will lighten over time as this pre-o-week orientation becomes more entrenched.

Tomorrow People, they’re the only ones I know.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE Auteur

NEWS $TUDENT LOANS & $TUDYLINK ELAINE GYDE

Summer saw student loans and the cost of tertiary education become a major

Revenue reports that the median student loan amount is $14,421 however the top

topic of debate, while students were busy enjoying summer, working shit jobs or

ten borrowers together owe more than $3 million with each of these borrowers

studying through T and/or S semester.

owing more than $300,000 each.

In December StudyLink insisted on turning applying for a student loan into a

Labour’s suggested policy has dominated the news cycle throughout the summer

process peppered with dating allusions, they sent students reminders featuring

but, in case you missed it, Andrew Little announced that the Labour Party

sexy milkshakes asking “are you still interested?” and they let us know when we

supports three years free post-secondary education over a person’s lifetime which

were “late for our date.”

can be used for any NZQA approved program. The plan would only be introduced

In January, two separate stories emerged that suggest that the current way in

in stages, with one year’s education available from 2019, two years from 2022

which your student loan is treated could shift dramatically.

and three years available from 2025. The costs have also been calculated at $265

Firstly, the Inland Revenue department’s arrest of Ngatokotoru Puna, nephew of the Prime Minister of the Cook Islands, sparked debate around overseas borrowers.

Puna was arrested on his return to New Zealand for significant failure to repay his

million in the first year and $1.2 billion once fully implemented in 2025. The cost of the first year would come from money that has already been earmarked and put aside by the National Government for tax cuts.

student loan, which, initially was an average amount of $40,000 from University

The material put out in support of this policy highlighted that fee rises are

of Auckland. Having lived in the Cook Island’s since 2004 the loan had ballooned

unsustainable and that while tertiary student numbers are down by 20% and

to $130,000 with interest, not written off

apprenticeship numbers are down by 22%, student debt has increased by over

Inland Revenue released student loan figures while the Labour Party announced

50% since the National Government came to power.

that something had to be done about the student loan borrowing system. In mid-

Tertiary Education Minister Steven Joyce (the man from the Waitangi day dildo

February New Zealand’s student loan debt hit $15 billion, only $6 billion having

escapade) has responded to this policy, claiming that the “Labour Party wants to

been repaid since the student loan scheme was introduced. At the end of the

take more than a billion dollars a year more off taxpayers to achieve absolutely

2015 financial year 728,348 people had a student loan with Inland Revenue. Inland

nothing.”

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Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

MEET THE DIRECTORS WILLIAM LEWIS VICE-PRESIDENT It’s bittersweet starting a new year at uni.

Sitting up the back of my first early lecture is usually when the realisation that yet another summer has gone by way too fast begins to grip me.

But at around the same time emerges the buzz that goes with the

INDULA’S U GOT YO COVERED

excitement of O-Week and anticipation of another year of student antics and miraculous passes.

I’m a fourth year Law and FASS kid but this is my first on the board of the Waikato Students’ Union (WSU) and as Vice-President.

Lately I have been trying my best to sneak undetected in and out of my office, because I almost have a sixth sense when it comes to the perils of people needing “some quick help with something”. It’s never quick and it’s always more than one thing. Our building is currently abuzz with people running about in bright yellow shirts yelling orders at each other in an attempt to bring on the best O-Week yet.

ORI2016 is seriously looking to smash all expectations out of the ball park.

The people in yellow shirts have brought the best ever entertainment line-

Every weekday until the end of B Semester, Unimart is going to spend $15 of my money on you guys.

up to campus, the usual free vans to town and a shitload of free stuff.

Us directors have already been hard at work around the board table too.

There are big plans to keep cool things happening around campus through

Maybe they take a dollar off a kit kat or maybe it’s a free pie for someone.

the year and we really want to hear from students about anything at all that will make student life that little bit better.

It’s only a small gesture but too many people talk about making food cheaper on campus.

All of this has got me thinking that this year, as I sit up the back of my first early lecture, the post summer forlornness might not be so bad because 2016 is shaping up to be one hell of a year at Waikato.

I just wanted to try and do something about it.

I can’t wait to see all of your friendly faces again and to meet the newbies.

Say ‘hi’ if you see me around and just promise to hold your vomit if you find yourself in my van on the way to town.

INDULA’S GOT YOU COVERED WILL RUN FOR 24 WEEKS IN 2016. THE DISCOUNTED VALUES WILL BE AT THE SOLE DISCRETION OF THE UNIMART STAFF AND NOT APPLIED AT A FIXED TIME EACH DAY.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

BEST OF THE WEB TATTOO INSTAGRAMS @JOANNALYNNEX (753 FOLLOWERS) This bad bitch lives in Swansea, Wales and posts her tattoo work — geometric, stencil look pieces and the occasional sick ass cover up. She mostly posts photos of her work, characterised by intricate detail and greyscale shading; though occasionally she posts selfies. Her makeup game is as strong as her artwork. @VICTORJWEBSTERTATTOO (65.6K FOLLOWERS) His Insta is all nude flesh covered in intricate black linework on a fucking large scale. Victor plays with symmetry in a really interesting way and uses the body’s shapes extremely well. His posts are closeups of clients set against plain block white backgrounds.

Aesthetically “satisfying” describes it well. @SKINKSTATTOOSNZ 852 FOLLOWERS) Skinks is a wicked tattoo shop in Hamilton. They post a huge range of tattoo art, profiling the work of their eight artists (each of their Instas are worth a scroll, too). This is perfect to look through if you’re searching for tattoo style inspiration, or shopping for a local

TRENDING ON TWITTER #NATIONALTOASTDAY Veronica @VeronicaRuckh · Sep 23 Oh, it’s #NationlToastDay. I was wondering when I’d get to celebrate charcoaled bread on a national level.

27

64

Daniels @danielsalex123 · Sep 23 #NationlToastDay bread makes toast 1

4

Denny’s @DennysDiner · Sep 23 who comes up with these “national” “days”? like #NationlToastDay? a whole day for toast?!

497

905

Hannah Hart @harto · Sep 23 Happy #NationlToastDay, everybuddy! Oh what a delicious reason to carbo-load.

258

1344

Alex Ramos @sorryimalex · Sep 23 Happy #NationlToastDay I hope everyone takes some time today to think about all of our toasters who died on this day 407

812

tattoo artist. @LACROIXTATTOO (13.6K FOLLOWERS) This profile is filled with fucking weird and cool imagery like a ciggie pack with one eye looking at you. Cartoon style art with pops of bright, bright colour characterise this Melbourne-based artist. There’s no cohesive theme to the layout of the profile as a whole, but it does have

WHAT’S HOT 1. The weather, amiright?

2. Jules as ORI2016’s MC 3. Free shit on campus

consistency in posts of cool fucking tats.

“MY NUMBER ONE ENEMY HAS BEEN MY EGO” NO FUCKING SHIT, KANYE WEST

WHAT’S NOT 1. Air conditioned lecture theatres, amiright?

2. Broken New Year’s resolutions 3. The price of avocados

“EVERYBODY IS BAREFOOT ALL SUMMER IN NEW ZEALAND” LORDE EXPLAINS NZ CULTURAL TRADITION “I HOPE THE SMOKE DETECTOR DON’T GO OFF” WAKA FLOCKA, CONSCIENTIOUS INDOOR SMOKER 8

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Back at uni, yik yak reinstalled

3

89.8 YOUR OFFICIAL

O-WEEK STATION

LOOK OUT FOR THE ZM BLACK THUNDER TEAM AROUND CAMPUS FOR PRIZES AND GIVEAWAYS. FIND OUT MORE AT ZMONLINE.COM

NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM CAROL RICHARD SWAINSON

A lesbian love story with a highly specific historical setting, Carol is based on a Patricia Highsmith novel and is directed by Todd Haynes, a man with an impeccable track record in period drama and melodrama. Cate Blanchett plays the title character, a woman estranged from her wealthy businessman husband, who forms an instant connection with Therese, a shop assistant, when buying Christmas presents. It is New York, 1951, a time when sapphic love dare not speak its name.

When Haynes last attempted a homosexual themed melodrama, back in 2002, he did so as a homage to the iconic director Douglas Sirk. Far from Heaven was a masterpiece of appropriated style, going purposefully over the top in its colour, its lighting, its music and performance style. Though set broadly in the same time period, Carol is its antithesis. The attention to detail is similar but the acting wonderfully subtle, the pace deliberately slow and the sympathy shown toward all characters more in keeping with contemporary attitudes. Carol is set in the 1950s, not made in the 1950s.

Rich, textured, powerful and benefiting from a perfectly executed ending, Carol happily avoids the most obvious traps. It showcases the evils of period homophobia but it is not a message picture about them. Haynes is more interested in human

FILM DEADPOOL

emotions and the mechanics of secret relationships. He charts the ebb and flow of Carol’s and Terese’s courtship with sensitivity to each. It’s a great love story, a rare and glorious thing.

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

What were you doing on Valentine’s Day? In my case, I was in the cinema, watching a classic love story. You know how it goes, couple falls in love, obstacles stand in their way, they try to fix it, and ultimately the final frame fades to black as they share true love’s kiss. Deadpool is, by the characters’ own admission, a romance first and foremost. It just so happens to be an adaptation of a fourth-wall breaking smart-ass character whose antics inspire laughter in the

BOOK THINGS NO ONE WILL TELL FAT GIRLS

BY JES BAKER RACHAEL ELLIOTT

audience as he decapitates people, before pledging to touch himself. He’s bad, and he just wants you to love him.

If, like me, you’re sick to fucking death of hearing about your friend’s weight loss goals,

There really have not been nearly enough R-rated superhero

their latest juice cleanse, how guilty they feel for eating dessert, or just how much they

movies yet, but Deadpool is certainly going to open up the

hate their body — then this book is for you.

door for more. The film serves as an origin story for our definitely-not-a-hero Deadpool, aka Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds, a perfect fit for the character), as it tells the tale of his falling in love with soulmate, Vanessa, who he meets at his regular hangout/place of business. It happens to be a bar

Don’t let the title fool you, this book is not just for fat girls. “If you’re a person with a body, this book is for you.” Because body positivity is for everyone, and all bodies are awesome. And because “You’re allowed to fall in love with yourself.” Jes Baker promises.

for mercenaries. But they do fall in love, he does get cancer,

With chapters titled things like, “Cheesecake will not send you to hell”, Jes sets about

and he does becomes a superpowered person. Not a hero.

destroying fatphobic bullshit and the negative self-talk that we’re all encouraged to

This is not a Marvel film, do not let Stan Lee distract you.

engage in. Her lack of fucks to give for society’s crap is extraordinary: this ‘handbook

No, what this is is hilariously fresh. Reynolds happily turns and discusses the film with the audience, freely admitting that this is a film. Deadpool has no time for the superhero

for unapologetic living’ had me fist pumping just 4 pages in. This is feel good reading, guaranteed to pick you up if you’re having a shitty day. It’s also easily digestible, so if you’re super busy you can read it in snatches no problem.

speeches and feel-good save-the-day heroic antics of

If I had the money I would buy a copy for each of my friends. It’s a MUST read for all

his fellow screen heroes. He just wants to kill, maim, eat

ages, sizes and genders. A blend of personal experience, in-depth scientific research

chimichangas, and have his girlfriend sit on his face. So if you

and guest essays, badass body positivity advocate Jes is at her finest here. So if you

haven’t already, grab your partner and treat yourselves to a

really want to do something good for your health this year — buy this book. This year,

romantic evening at the cinema.

lose hate — not weight.

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ORI2016

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLAYLIST SOUNDTRACK FOR STUDY

BY FILTR CANADA LYAM BUCHANAN

Finding something that doesn’t send you into an hour long rave during a last minute study session can be a major struggle. Luckily the team at Filtr Canada, the industry leaders in pre made playlists, have your back. This collection of atmospheric movie scores allows you to get lost in your work. You’ll find yourself believing that finishing your lab report will be equivalent to escaping the Shawshank Prison; or the portfolio you’ve been slaving away at is about to make you have an existential crisis worthy of Interstellar.

One of the staple composers to feature is Hans Zimmer. Having Hans compose the soundtrack for a movie is Hollywood’s equivalent to having Drake feature in a track.

From pieces such as ‘Solomon’ from 12 Years a Slave and ‘Time’ from Inception there is no doubt that, just like Drake, every score by Hans is an emotional rollercoaster. As you travel through this playlist you’ll hear pieces from shows such as Narcos and movies from the era of Forrest Gump and Braveheart, so there is no doubt that you’ll end up reminiscing or at least trying your hardest to recognise where you’ve heard that melody before. Who said a swig of procrastination wasn’t a good study technique?

Admittedly some of these tracks will send you to sleep, but feel free to blame the reason you’re begging your lecturer to give you an extension on me.

MUSIC THE LIFE OF PABLO

BY KANYE WEST

You can check out this playlist on Spotify and Filtr.

SEAN HURLEY

Name one genius that isn’t crazy. He may be a lunatic, allegedly in 53 million dollars debt and battling serious mental health problems according to some collaborators,

THEATRE SHOES GEORGIA POLLOCK

however The Life Of Pablo is an 18 track mega Kanyefest featuring the works of the best producer and rapper in the game right now. Kanye West. The voice of a generation.

I’ll be honest, I am a huge Kanye stan. MBDTF is one of my favourite albums, 808s is a classic, Yeezus is definitely in my top 10. All memes aside, this new record deserves every bit of hype it is receiving. If you haven’t heard it yet you are missing out. I’m going to pause for a moment with an extract from track 9 ‘I love Kanye’: I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye I gotta say at that time I’d like to meet Kanye I realise that rhyming Kanye and Kanye isn’t difficult, however the self awareness and legitimacy shown throughout the entirety of this record should be enough to silence even the most vocal Kanye ‘critics’. Highlights for me were ‘Pt. 2’, ‘Famous’ and ‘Waves’. If you want to support the industry buy a subscription to Tidal and give it a listen. You won’t regret it.

Where: Meteor Theatre, 1 Victoria Street When: March 3rd, 4th & 5th, at 7.30pm Tickets: $5 (door sales only) Shoes is a show made by young people, for young people. It’s a first for Gnarly Teapot Productions, a budding new Hamilton theatre company, and it promises to be a good one. The play focuses on a group of young people in a nightclub, shining a spotlight on what it’s like to be young, dumb, and drunk.

I met with the producer, Andrew Lyall, who told me that “the vast majority of students can sit down and watch the play and think, ‘I get that’, in both the happy moments and the sad moments.” The writer/director, Sebastian Byrne, added that the play is also “reminiscent.” So, those who are past being “young, dumb, and drunk,” can go along and think, “Hey, I remember that.”

Shoes is approximately one hour long, and is a one act play (meaning that there is no intermission). Because of its short structure, its relatability, and its pricing (perfect for a student budget), this is a fantastic start for first time theatregoers — I’m excited.

Plus, Shoes is part of the Hamilton Fringe Festival, so if you’re left craving more theatre, there’s another one act play directly afterwards!

So, if you have a spare hour, $5 in your pocket, and a yearning to see some live theatre, head on down to the Meteor Theatre and experience all this play has to offer, you won’t regret it.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

ARTS GO TO THE WALL PETER DORNAUF

A major city can often be judged by the number of high-

Another work (by David Ed Cooper) was found in an open

end art galleries the place can sustain. Hamilton has two if

cutlery drawer — two rows of knives neatly set out like some

you count the Museum. But only one if we’re talking about

museum display of dead butterflies held under glass.

professional commercial galleries. Not a high number.

Pathetic actually. Aesthete is the only place in town catering for the high-end in a commercial sense.

What this philistinism sometimes results in in a city where the visual arts are treated like the poor cousin is that individuals with passion and commitment rise up periodically out of the ground and perform a sort of DIY seat of the pants performance, vis-a-vis, high-end gallery exhibitions.

One of those entrepreneurial figures was Karl Bayly, a young artist and self-styled gallery director who for the past year or so managed, on the smell of an oily rag, to kick some aesthetic life into the town. Sadly, Pilot Gallery is no more.

(A minute’s silence). But Karl, in a last hurrah, put together a final show in a private dwelling in Hamilton East recently.

AUTEUR AUTEUR HOUSE RICHARD SWAINSON

suggested esoteric hieroglyphics.

Claudia Dunes simulated an abstract ‘forest’ by positioning a series of smartphones on the wall, each screen playing the same green imagery. Entitled “The Forest Smells like my Shampoo”, it cleverly reversed the usual trope in unsettling ways.

Mark Schroder’s “Nub-the Stars”, was an elaborate installation inside one room, a wooden construction of panelled partitions reminiscent of voting booths. And Amy Unkovich’s “Mixed Blush”, a sculpture, consisting of 7 slats of wood with attached geometric forms painted in shades of pink, played on the girly colour set against the ‘masculine’ triangulations.

We will all miss this challenging stuff, apart from the

scattered both inside and outside the house. One was even

uncultured among us.

located inside a wardrobe; a work called, “Medium White”,

However someone else has stepped into the breech, to do

that displayed a row of identical white T shirts that cheekily

what institutions themselves should be doing. But more of

proclaimed the artist’s (Bayly’s) ethnicity.

that next week.

What is Auteur House and what has it done to justify column

Auteur House is a DVD rental store wedded to this

space in this venerable magazine? You may well ask. The word

anachronistic theory. The fact that we operate as a DVD rental

“auteur’ is French and means “author”. In a certain context

store — for 7 days a week, no less, and 12 hours a day — mark

it can be used to describe the director of what was once

us too as an anachronism. In the age of streaming and digital

quaintly known as a “motion picture”. A theory — initiated by

download what need is there of old fashioned disk hireage,

the French — holds that a film is a work of art which enjoys but

still less a collection that specialises in classic and festival

one significant creative personality. As a painter is sole author

films? Can’t all that material be found on the internet?

the director — or auteur — is singularly responsible for the

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lawn by raising the sod in a patterned configuration that

Essential minimalist and conceptual, the works were

of his or her painting, as the novelist writes novels alone, so

12

Outside, Lyn Wilson had created a piece of “land art” on the

Well, in a nutshell, it can’t. Netflix has a very limited back catalogue, the quality of YouTube varies and it isn’t possible

authorship of a film.

to find and/or steal every classic movie you want to get your

Auteur theory is in many ways a nonsense, an affront to

entitled hands on.

the basic realities of the art form. By virtue of its scale and

There’s also the argument that if you invest time, thought and

complexity film is a collaborative business. How can a director,

a modest amount of money in the selection of a film you will

however skilled, be given credit for everything from setting

value the experience of watching it all the more. This idea was

the lights to pushing the dolly to the nuances of actorly

explained to me recently by a nine minute acquaintance, by

expression? The theory holds that he or she does through the

a man who started his professional life working behind an

expression of a dominant personality, that the auteur’s artistry

Auteur House-like counter and who now has a section at the

is such that it pervades every aspect of production (and pre-

place devoted entirely to his work. We’d all do well to heed the

and post-production as well).

words of Quentin Tarantino, the definitive 21st century auteur.

ORI2016

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

COVER ARTIST PROFILE CALEB YASSS MCNABB Age: 12/21 Occupation: Barista/Artist/Shop Dude What was your creative process for our ORI2016 cover art?

I don’t think in the start when making art, I just make stuff until it looks cool. My main focus was that cutie on the front and I wanted to show her true colours because I know how this bitch parties. So I made a base collage by hand from old mags, then threw it in photoshop and fucked with it until it looked like a Miley Cyrus album cover. I hyped up the colours added some booze and joints and it became a masterpiece for all of Waikato to relate to. Then we found out that it is socially irresponsible to print children and alcohol together, so went with more subtle “candy”.

What medium/s do you tend to work in & why?

I’m a very confused human so I have a billion projects going at once and none are in the same medium. At the moment I’m really into collage and have been figuring out a style with that but I also paint, sculpt, film, and photograph. I have issues, okay? One day I’ll have a whole collection of million dollar artworks you won’t be able to afford.

I just got a new studio space to start producing new work which is one of my dreams, we (my friend and I) named it Attic 9.

Describe your style in 3 words Eye-rape/SLAY/Clinically-insane Where can people find you online?

Facebook: Caleb McNabb Instagram: gypsyeyeofbud Snapchat: brownbagboy RedTube: Caleb McNabb http://bit.ly/1QqaaBa In cms, how big is your dick?

Well boys you will just have to cum and find out (btw I’m single).

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE ORI2016 SURVIVAL GUIDE EMMA NYGARD

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the amount of effort one attributes

GO HOME.

to their studies during o-week becomes directly correlative of one’s overall

If I was a really boring, cruel writer this could be the end of my guide to ORI2016.

grade. Mathematically speaking, for all you Jane Austen loathing, number loving

Go home — easy! However I’ve promised another 500 words so when I say go

students, my completely made up, random number generated statistic shows

home, I don’t necessarily mean at 8 o’clock to be fresh for your morning class,

86.7% of all students who attend all first week lectures pass with an A+ average.

I mean go home, after town or after the traditional wild flat party on Knighton

Because someone who can make it to 9 a.m. lectures in the first place is clearly

road at whatever time you run out of alcohol — just make sure you go home at

some superior breed of human. Or a premature proper adult who carries a flask

the end of the night. It’s a lot harder to make it to class if you wake up disoriented

of tea to class, uses punctuation to create barely decipherable emoticons despite

in some foreign room somewhere in Hamilton East. And even harder if you wake

owning an iPhone, and has an embarrassingly middle aged name like Carol. On

up in Rototuna. If you think the walk of shame from College Hall back to Bryant is

the other hand, anyone not willing to have fun (by fun, I, of course, mean drinking

embarrassing try walking down Clyde st at 8am when all the normal, functioning

excessively) during the only week it is socially acceptable to get wasted on a

adults are heading to work.

Monday, won’t be having fun during the rest of year either. I encourage you to

To pull or not to pull, that is the question. Truth be told O-week remains the only

do both.

week of the year that proves harder to not-pull than to actually pull so it’s more

So it goes without saying I’ve scraped by, scarcely passing for the past 3 years now — and in the Arts, dare I say that is near impossible. But as a person who refuses to take accountability for any negative aspect of my life, I like to blame my atrocious attendance records and less than ideal GPA on my flaky annual introduction to University. Perhaps if I’d had some guide to help me discover have gone on to join the Golden Key instead of failing philosophy because my

someone else’s dingy flat, and in that moment of 3am desperation I want you to remain strong. Remember your room, with that lavender diffuser set your mum bought you for Christmas, your freshly made bed, your wall charger, your text books! Familiarity, how soothing. Then perhaps suggest you change the destination to your place, where you can set an alarm nice and early so you both make your classes. Nothing gets people going quite like responsibility!

sneaking suspicion I was a deep thinker was completely wrong. Luckily enough

EAT!

for everybody that is not me I have managed to fuck up every O-week, and Re

Everyone knows the cure to a hangover is making yourself feel sick from eating

O-week for myself so I can let you know what not to do! Here are the five most

too much so your body forgets that you’re actually sick from alcohol poisoning.

significant O-week lessons I’ve learnt in the form of a listicle. Take this sage advice

Grey Street Maccas is a great idea if anybody in your flat is below the limit to drive

from an experienced 20-something y/o to ensure you won’t still be taking level

(not likely). Otherwise, my own personal recommendation is the Cameron Road

100 papers in your third year!

bakery. Best chips in town!

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ORI2016

PHOTOGRAPHY: AWHINA KERR

a sense of balance between hopeless optimism and downright stupidity I’d

than likely at some stage of the week you will be propositioned to head back to

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

DON’T DRAW OUT ALL OF YOUR COURSE RELATED COSTS. It goes without fail that every year I’ll remain textbook-less until mid-semester because I decided to spend the money designated to buying textbooks on alcohol, drugs and some half-hearted costume attempt. It pains me to realize I could have bought two return tickets to the states instead of spending my money to ensure I’m in a perpetual state of hungover for an entire week. I also could have completed my readings on time had I prioritised education over getting as wasted as possible. So instead of drawing everything out at once, ration it accordingly. For most students $1000 is more than enough to buy uni essentials and have money left over — unless of course you’re one of those weirdos that saves their course related costs for B-semester too, but who the fuck does that?

MAKE FRIENDS! Chances are the Monday of O-week will be your only fully functioning day so make the most of it. Go to class and make friends. Make an effort to sit next to organised looking people who have already purchased the textbook and are actually writing notes. I’m not condoning using people for their diligence, but relationships are about mutual benefits if they’re willing to bring the work ethic you can spend the week working out what you bring to the table.

DON’T DRINK ON THE ROAD/FOOTPATH/ ANYWHERE THAT ISN’T PRIVATE PROPERTY. You will get caught and you will have to ask your parents to remortgage their house in order to pay the hefty $250 fine. Also, the cops will probably tip out the rest of your drinks. Just don’t do it unless you want to go home sober and too broke to participate in any other o-week activities.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE O-WEEK ANECDOTES NEXUS CONTRIBUTORS

Sitting in a 9am chemistry lecture is pretty daunting on its own. Though when you’re sitting there trying to work out where the fuck you were last night, what gave your fingers a distinctive fragrance and why you were peeing blood at some ridiculous hour in the morning it becomes a whole different story. The sudden lack of course related costs becomes the least of your worries and frantically checking Snapchat stories is all that’s on your mind. Lets just say there are a few things I don’t miss about first year, chemistry being one of them.

LYAM BUCHANAN

I don’t drink so I always remember nights out in town in specific detail.

A couple of years ago, my bestie and I decided to go out with a group of friends for the pirate themed night during O-week. As things always go, we got separated from the rest of the group but we didn’t really care because the two of us never fail to have fun in town. We decided to go to The Hood because that’s where our type of music’s at so we headed over there and waited in line to get in. As we were waiting, this guy behind me started trying his best to talk me up. I was completely not interested as he wasn’t my type but I’m someone who doesn’t like to hurt people’s feelings so I was thinking of a way to make him stop, politely. Meanwhile, my friend was dancing crazily and singing at the top of her lungs. I think she was so drunk she thought we were already in the club. I was just about to let the guy down, in the best way I could, when a hand came out of nowhere and smacked him in the face. The guy, looking as upset as ever, turned around and walked away. My friend, in all her craziness, had accidentally knocked him while doing a dance move. To this day, she still can’t recall this happening but I will never forget the day my friend accidentally saved me during O-week.

ROSEMARY QUAY

It was my first year in Tauranga at tech before I came to uni. My friend came over to visit me, and he bought those (formerly) legal eccy imitation pills with him. I sloshed them down with way too much tequila slushy I got so fucked up I cheated on my long term boyfriend, and sent myself into a downward spiral. The next day between the worst hangover I’ve ever experienced and crushing guilt I set myself on a path to fail pattern making class — way too much measurement and geometry for this silly bitch.

DEFINITELY NOT BRITTANY

3rd year O-week, 5 of us girls decided to buy beer wench outfits on the only one still standing by 8pm, and ended up over-enthusiastically dancing to The Outback’s live band, with not a friend in sight. Made a friend soon enough however, and before long I’d conned him into buying Sal’s pizza for me, and paying for the taxi home. 10/10 night — only regret was that come the morning I was too hungover to take some leftover pizza with me on my walk of shame.

SARAH NONYMOUS 18

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ORI2016

PHOTOGRAPHY: AWHINA KERR

Trademe, at a thrifty $25 a piece. Great idea, except come Beerfest, I was

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

I have a pretty epic story but it involves one of my flatties funnelling a large quantity of straight tequila and then genuinely disappearing for about 2 hours so here’s a lamer, tamer story... I’ll never forget my first O-week experience, more specifically, I’ll never forget my poor decision to wear jandals to Beach Party because “Ohemgee you can wear JANDALS? to TOWN?” I was walking, or probably stumbling, if we’re being realistic, through the Outback alleyway when a rogue clump of foam blocked my path. I went flying, landing straight on my ass, and had a bruise roughly the size and shape of Italy on the back of my leg for about 2 weeks. 10/10 would not recommend wearing jandals to town.

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

My O-week story is that I avoid O-week. Even in the halls I didn’t attend any of the parties or nights at the clubs or the what have you. I remember I got a pamphlet once to attend a thing at Bar 101. The person smiled a lot which I guess is par for the course when you’re advertising events. My brother called me a judgmental douche bag because I don’t drink. Instead of all the fun stuff that all the kiddiewinkles get up to I stayed in my room and played a card game I made up based on the awfully protracted fantasy series The Wheel of Time with my best friend who I no longer talk to anymore. So I guess the moral of the story is life is better if you’re getting smashed. Or at least more bearable.

JOSHUA MORRIS

Accidentally dropped a bottle from the top of The Bank, which hit a taxi.

Tried to hide from security, got tackled. Tried to run from the cops, tackled again. Spent 5 hours in the cells, and got out with a court summons in hand, and minus a shoe. Drunkenly stumbled the walk home to Snead Place, at some point falling and slicing hands open; bled all over my shirt and, when finally home, all over the bed.

And then pissed myself.

JOHN HANCOCK

‘Twas a fine evening indeed. Probably a Tuesday I am going to say, and there I was, decked out in only the finest pirate garb I could scrounge from my closet and my roommates, with the baggiest and most fally-down pants you could ever imagine. Many a time that evening I flashed my thighs for all to see. Usually I’m getting others out of their pants (hey-oh), but there were moves on display none of you have ever been privileged enough to see, including one I call the Injured Elbow (I fell down on the road). And it was all thanks to that second bottle of tequila I stupidly ran home to get. My apologies to those who were witness to the old adage “what goes down, must up-chuck”.

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

It was a Tuesday night, and I had an 8am lecture the next day. I figured that one bottle of merlot wouldn’t hurt, and I went to a uni mate’s flat.

Obviously my friend in full on pantaloons with accompanying pirate vest and sword went too hard on the rum. After catching a WSU van into town we got some Subway, which he promptly began vomiting into a roadside rubbish bin while speaking in third person about how drunk he was.

Needless to say he was not in said 8am lecture the next morning.

BRITTANY ROSE

19

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

INTERVIEW JULES CRAFT AKA MC CRAFTY INTERVIEW BY BRITTANY ROSE

Jules, who are you, and what do you do?

I chill. But I’m employed to froth in a professional manner. I’m also painting my mum’s house next week.

You’re one half of that shit post Facebook page Two Kids at Uni, is that how you got the ORI2016 Big in our Backyard MC job?

Oh, not really, kinda. Two Kids led me into certain groups, but I’ve MC’ed for Noize Radio, Lawrenson Group and the Hullabaloo Festival last year.

My biggest and best experience was MC’ing for DJ Witters on R&V’s Cellar Stage at quarter to one in the morning. Witters is from Gizzy but studied in Dunnaz and I’m from Gizzy and study in Hamilton. It was lit, and gave me a lot of confidence coming into MC’ing for Big in our Backyard.

What act are you most pumped about?

Roto! But on a side note, Diaz is an inspiration and State of Mind will be a froth pit.

Who is your style icon?

Shit. Do Iook like I have any style? Whatever’s not dirty in my clothes bin. I like to keep a lot of colour on me at all times.

Where did you get your Yik Yak socks?

I meet this breather at Rhythm and he was the Yik Yak rep. Because I worked at Rythm and he was real friendly I took advantage of him. He let me go to his sock box in his stall and I just grabbed like 8 pairs. I wish he had Yik Yak undies too, I need some of those.

Any advice for first years?

Froth... *whispers* froth. Nah, if you have an idea and you’re scared to do it, it probably means it’s a good idea.

Even if it’s funnelling vodka?

Nah, probably not vodka. Lighter drinks are okay... like the WSU Backyard Pilsner from Good George!

What’s your best O-week story?

I can barely remember any O-week.... OH! The launching of Noize Radio at Back Bar in my second year. It was my first time in front of a big crowd on a microphone. I missed every single drop, talked over lyrics, and the DJ turned my microphone off after ten minutes.

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ORI2016

PHOTOGRAPHY: AWHINA KERR

20

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

YOUR SPACE A STAY AT MAY This dark brick house hosts a grand entranceway characterised by the colour of blood and prostitution — crimson. Fortunately for our hostess, this vibe stops here. Upon entering the living area we walk beneath a wooden staircase perfect for grand entrances in beautiful gowns, or midnight injuries. It’s an oddly designed house — obviously subject to many a reno — with interior glass flanking an old-school fireplace. There are lantern lampshades, delightful two-way cupboards (painted an off-trend murky salmon) and a mustard coloured rug.

All in all this is the kind of house that leaves you asking “Where’s the bathroom?” more than once a visit because you just can’t quite figure out the floorplan.

Keen to have your space featured in Nexus mag?

Email lyam@nexusmag.co.nz

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ORI2016

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

PHOTOGRAPHY: SARAH HYDE

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

PREZ SEZ

PREZ SEZ WELCOME

MODERN DAY MIXTAPE V1

INDULA JAYASUNDARA

LYAM BUCHANAN

Welcome (back) to a new year of university and I hope everyone is in

The most important requirement before writing a music column is to

awe, witnessing how big our backyard is for ORI2016. My name is Indula

constantly keep up with, and sport, the most hated hairstyles. Who wouldn’t

Jayasundara, and I am your Student President.

want to jam a playlist created by me, a guy who was probably having his hair

I had a reporter from the Waikato Times contact me; I was asked why I think

plaited at the time? Not you, that’s who.

orientation week is important for students. I think that it’s a new chapter in

Welcome to your first dosage of Modern Day Mixtape. Not only do you get a

the lives of most students where they transition from high school to a more

weekly playlist crafted by one of the local inebriated students, you also get

independent academic and social experience. For returning students it’s a

a backstage pass into which jams are the strongest of the mix; not to forget

reminder that we, the WSU, care about them. In essence, ORI is how we induct

more than enough cringey relatable humor.

and welcome all our domestic and international students as a part of the whānau. The orientation experience is also a brief reflection of how your time at Waikato University is going to be for the next three to four years.

It’s the first few weeks of uni so everyone is feeling pretty fresh. You’ve got your summer savings or course related costs in your back pocket and you’re ready to blow it all on your a week long boot camp for your liver; while in turn

There is no doubt in saying that this year’s orientation is (and has been) epic!

not making the same mistakes as last year cause you’ve really got to sort

It’s a one of a kind event that takes place on our very own turf; from a lineup of

your grades out this time. So in keeping with this fresh vibe the first edition of

high profile music acts to a helicopter dropping off ‘BurgerFuel’ t-shirts (mind

Modern Day Mixtape is a collection of crisp, yet mellow, electronic indie jams.

= blown) sets a strong benchmark for future orientations. I have never been this proud to be a member of the Waikato Students’ Union and a student of the University of Waikato.

V1 is ensured to keep you feeling ready for pretty much everything the first few weeks can throw at you, it’s not going to rub that X off your arm or go to your 9am’s, but it’ll definitely help you give off the look that you know what

My team and I will be on campus running around throughout this week and many more to come, feel free to stop us for a chat and we just might shout you coffee. Last time I checked Hana and William, your Vice-Presidents for 2016, were super keen to buy two lucky students coffee. In the hope that the firstyears settle in well and the returning students feel comfortable with their new flatmates, this is your WSU President/friend/brother-from-another-mother signing out! Watch this space to hear more from me and/or follow me on Facebook to get a first-look at the awesome student initiatives I have planned for you this year. www.facebook.com/indula.community

you’re doing. At the end of the day that’s all you really need.

Out of these glorious 13 songs one of the strongest pieces has to be ‘Forces’

by Japanese Wallpaper. This mellow, multilayered masterpiece is one of the cruisiest songs I’ve ever come across. The way the bassline is developed by the second verse is beautifully simple and the constant addition of small motifs and melodies continues to keep this piece interesting and actively listened to. This 17 year old Australian Prodigy definitely knows how to create an atmosphere within a track.

Another strong piece would be ‘Souvenirs’ by Etherwood. Similar to ‘Forces’ it starts of simple and builds into a much larger sound; though instead of boasting a layered atmosphere this piece just has a killer drum track.

V1 is perfect for those awkward car rides when you don’t know what the other passengers are into, at the end of the day you can always just blame me if it’s not for them. If this sounds like a bit of you then head to Spotify and follow nexusmagazine and let these jams freshen up your eardrums.

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ORI2016

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

Nerd

NERD YORK TIMES 2016: YEAR OF THE NERD

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY FIRST DAY OF UNI

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

2015 was pretty not-too-bad. An okay Avengers sequel, some dinosaurs, and

Expectations

Matt Damon got stuck in space again. Star Wars might have come out as well,

You rise out of bed like the God/Goddess you are 3 hours early. You are zen.

but I have not actually regained consciousness since it saw it, and am now

Somehow, you magically have no hangover from the previous night’s Smirnoff

presumably in a joy-induced coma. I do not want to over-exaggerate, but

induced session at The Outback. You remember clearly every single thing

I think Force Awakens has ruined everything else for me. I may never love

that happened the night before and none of it is embarrassing, in fact, it’s

again. But anywho, I am here with news: 2016 is going to be even bigger,

all wonderful. You took your first back draught like a champ and didn’t once

even better (hopefully), and even more nerd-tastic than 2015 ever was. And

fall off the tables when you were grinding to Justin Bieber’s latest banga. The

because someone gave me the place in a magazine, you are get to witness my

bouncers all loved you, and not once did you make a fool of yourself. The

obsessive, overly sarcastic and weirdly intense thoughts on all of it!

outfit you prepared the night before makes you look a million bucks; if you

Yes, everybody, I hereby do declare 2016 the Year of the Nerd. As a nerd, this may be the most excited I have ever been for a year. A sad remark to some, but screw you, it is the 50th anniversary of Star Trek. Just look at all the deliciously nerdy things on offer! We have a new Joker, Batman is going to fight Superman, Iron Man is going to fight Captain America, the Harry Potter sequel/spin-off Fantastic Beasts is coming out, Neil DeGrasse Tyson is

don’t meet the love of your life today, you’ll definitely get hit on in the line at Momento, or at the very least a shout out on Yik Yak for looking so hot.

You grab your brand new Typo stationary (which you also packed the night before) and head out, ready to have your mind stimulated by the scholarly professors wearing tweed jackets who will guide you on your educational voyage through university.

still alive, Ratchet and Clank, Uncharted 4, so many things to list, and I have

Reality

not even begun on comics and television, nor any number of other mediums.

You. Are. Disorientated. Your mouth feels like the Sahara and you are

To quote someone, probably, I am a dead right now at all of this potential

surrounded by Wongs chicken bones. Somewhere in a far off land an alarm

goodness.

is sounding. Oh shit. That’s your alarm. It’s been going for approximately two

Now I am going to rage and obsess a little, but at least try to be funny about it.

Perhaps also with an occasional interjection from one Amabelle, an expert in her own right in the nerdacious arts. I might get angry about teeny, tiny little things that may have upset me (actually, that is exactly what I have planned for next week. Stay tuned!), but hey, that is what print media is for! Nothing too bad, though. After all, we nerdy types have a glowing reputation for never being nasty. No, you will not ever find a racist or sexist remark from one fan to another, or a threat to commit the most heinous of sexual acts against someone who had the gall to say they prefer Jack Nicholson to Heath Ledger.

Or kill your character and insult your mother. She is a saint, thank you.

Sure we can be fickle at times, with console wars, Marvel v DC, Moffat v RTD, Star Trek v Star Wars, book v film, but come on! Just look at how many

hours, which means you are approximately one hour late for your first lecture.

You throw on the first thing you see on your floor that isn’t your costume from Jungle Party. On your stumble to PWC you have hazy flashbacks of falling over in Bar 101 because you were muzzing way too hard. You look down at your arm, there is a massive black ‘X’ over the club stamps you didn’t have time to wash off. This conjures memories of passing out in the toilets and getting kicked out before it was even 2am. Your lecturer - who is wearing cargo pants with Jesus sandals – coincidentally pauses his lecture the minute you walk in, and a quick scan of the room determines the only available seat is a) in the middle of a row, and b) next to the hottest person in your class who will now definitely remember you for how tragic you look right now.

If this is what the rest of uni is like, you can’t wait. And that’s not even sarcasm.

exclamation marks I am using! There is a lot to get excited about this year, which gives me a lot to write about! Except anime, I am not a fan, but never fear, world: The Nerd York Times is here to bridge to the gap between you and the nerdy and mend fences between fandoms. Except twelvies, who suck.

2016, Year of the Nerd everybody!

25

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

NEW LOCALS WHAT’S O-WEEK?

@NEXUSMAG @NEXUSMAG

SHALINI GULERIA (WISA)

NEXUSMAG

Before O-Week

You’ll all be getting sick of the face of MC Crafty, the writer of our long-lost

Textbooks, check. Folders, check. Pencil case all ready, check.

Carnage column and the face of Waikato’s ORI2016: Big in our Backyard. Jules

I think I am ready to start off my first year of uni and my excitement can’t be tamed! I moved to this country one month ago and I have already fallen in love with it, especially the people, they are amazing. To be honest, in my life I have never felt this welcomed. Not even back home. The university is gorgeous, the lecture halls are spacious, lecturers are nice — well the ones that I have

is running the Uni’s Snapchat (waikatouni). Brittany and Lyam are running our Snapchat (nexusmag) during ORI2016, and throughout the year, so you’ll probably start getting sick of the faces of our editorial staff too. You’re in for snippets of daytime fun on the Green, tours to SUB (where Nexus lives), and the odd video from the best acts during ticketed evening events.

spoken to. Basically, the overall atmosphere is very positive from a learning

People on the internet, ironically, give ~millennials~ a whole lot of shit for living

point of view.

on the internet through social media. These boring Baby Boomers reckon

But one thing that is new to me is this ‘O-week’. Yesterday, I was walking around the campus and I saw posters advertising O-week. I seriously had no idea what it was and I am sure the person that I asked probably thought I was an idiot; but I found out it stands for ‘Orientation Week’. Okay, so in my head orientation week is where new students get introduced to the university and their courses, which made perfect sense until I saw the posters. There were advertisements for parties, different fun activities around the campus and heaps of clubbing deals.

Generation Y are narcissistic, self-centred fuckwits who only care about hashtags and selfies. Apparently maintaining long distance friendships via 10 second snaps and sporadic messages is a terrible thing, and apparently cyberbullying is an unstoppable, universal experience for all adolescents. Here at Nexus, we don’t give a fuck about accusations of shameless self promo.

We embrace it - so, here’s a rundown on all the places you should be liking, following and appreciating us.

SNAPPED! is back again this year. If you’re new, here’s how it goes: 1) you send

Back home, going to university is all about studying, getting good grades and securing a prestigious job. Since when did uni become fun? This surely doesn’t

us snaps, 2) we screenshot them, 3) we put them on our SNAPPED! spread, 4) one lucky ducky wins a BurgerFuel voucher.

make any sense. I remember my brother telling me that in his university he

Our Instagram (@nexusmag) is gonna be a super cliche Insta this year - you

only got one day of orientation and they basically went from lecture hall to

can expect #ootd posts (check out the bad ass looks from week one of ORI),

lecture hall, no parties and no activities, nothing! But I guess, back home,

cover art teasers, and photos of food from our food reviewers.

studying is more of a competition than a learning opportunity so everyone gets straight to the point. It was different here and I wanted to give this new adventure a go.

Facebook is that realm of the internet we are all annoyed by, yet dependant on. And let’s face it, if you don’t have FB, you’re probably weird. Here we promo the cool events Waikato Students’ Union (WSU) puts on for y’all, post

After O-Week

funny shit, put up exclusive online content, provide opportunities to win free

Wow!! What a week and what activities, I think universities back home should

stuff, and do whatever it is our social meedz grrl feels like fucking doing.

learn something about starting the year with a bang! I thought I would be an outcast as I don’t drink and this was my first time clubbing but no, I made so many friends, took part in a range of activities, joined various clubs. This was such a good experience! Prior to this week, my mindset was that uni was

We also have a Twitter (@nexusmag) which is fairly inactive - mainly because Twitter is average. We do live tweet stuff we attend though - it’s definitely worth a lil scroll through if you’re super bored.

all about studying but I was wrong it’s so much more than that, it’s about

Because procrastinating on important readings by flicking through the pages

building friendships, letting yourself go and exploring your talents.

of our beautiful hard copies isn’t enough of a distraction, check out our social media for even more mindless entertainment. You’re welcome xo

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ORI2016

PAK’NSAVE HEAD CHEF Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE HANGOVER BREAKFAST Ingredients 5 hash browns 2 sausages 6 rashers of bacon Mushrooms (cut into thick slices) 3 eggs (boiled, poached, scrambled — your choice) Toast 1 can of baked beans 1 tomato cut in half Method 1. There ain’t a lot of skill required for this — bang on your oven at 180C. 2. Throw hashbrowns into the oven, along with your snags or you can fry them on a hot frying pan.

3. After about 15 mins, your snags are looking good and your hashies are goldening, add in your bacon to the oven or fry pan.

4. In hot pan melt butter and add about 6 slices of mushroom. Don’t overcrowd the pan, otherwise your mushrooms will not brown. Colour equals flavour.

5. Throw some toast in the toast maker, and prepare your eggs. Throw beans into a pot on the stove.

6. Cook eggs and warm the beans.

7. With your mushrooms getting cooked in batches, salt and pepper the cut face of the tomato and add face down in pan.

The trickiest part is to make all the components finish cooking at the same time. Plate with toast first, add beans, followed by eggs, bacon, mushrooms.

Add hashbrowns, tomatoes and snags on the side. Or if you are in a real hurry, throw everything into a blender for a delicious nutritious shake.

27

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The best snap each week (printed with the BurgerFuel logo), wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

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ORI2016

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brought to you by The Bank Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection.

If you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Do you like free drinks? Do you require food to survive?

Are you promiscuous in the way that Nelly Potato sung about back in 2006? Or looking for love like Ed Sherran is in every fucking song ever? Answer “yes” to one or more of these questions and you meet Nexus’ stringent Blind Date applicant criteria*. Congratulations.

Email editor@nexusmag.co.nz, let us know: - any gender preferences for your date, - study shit (your major, what year you’re in etc), - your adolescent celeb crush, - your go-to party trick or an interesting fact about your life (eg. I once open mouth kissed a horse).

We’ll do the rest! *Single status is not necessary, however Nexus and the WSU take no responsibility for the dissolution of any relationship an applicant may or may not be committed to as a result of splitting a Blind Date tab with a stranger.

Even if you’re “on a break”, Ross Geller.

31

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU

7

8

1

3

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6

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EASY

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MEDIUM

1

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9 7

5

HARD

CODE CRACKER

SLITHERLINK

Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 – 26. Crack the code to solve it.

Join the dots to create a single continuous

23

18

1

18 8

9

12

5 5

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R

5

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18 26

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WORD TWIST

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How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

ORI2016

18

6

7

R

15

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26

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13 18

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TRIVIAL

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In York it’s legal to kill a Scotsman (except on

11

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26

19 5

R

loop. The numbers indicate how many lines

19

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10 19

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must surround each number and the loop must never cross itself.

2

2 3

2 3

3 1 3

3

2

3

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0

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2 2

2

Sunday) if you use what type of weapon?

What did J Edgar Hoover ban people from walking on?

How did the Greek dramatist Aeschalys die?

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD Solve the clues and fill in the words.

1

2

3

4

Across 2. Pissed (6)

5

6. Removed swiftly (7)

6

7. Carpe Diem (4)

7

9. The GC with the car keys (5,6) 11. Question master card (5) 12. Fermented potato (5)

8

13. Communal abode (4)

9

16. Nervous (12)

10

19. Weary, dizzy, dehydrated (8) 20. Fucking large glass (5) 22. Stumble (7)

11

Down

12 13

14

1. Yeasty beverage(4) 3. Narcisstic pre-town ritual (7)

15

16

17

4. Hamilton is no longer the ___ capital (9) 5. Snapchat ORI2016 selfies to ___ (5,3) 8. Initial gathering of bearings (11)

18

10. Beerfest floor (7) 14. O-week abbreviation (3) 19

20

21

15. Feelings of ____ after a big night out (5) 17. Chunder (5) 18. Speak unlcearly (4) 21. Pick up an ORI2016 merchandise ___ from the

22

Village Green (3)

HOROSCOPES Capricorn (December 22 — January 19)

Cancer (June 21 — July 22)

Confusion reigns supreme. It’s already week 2 of ORI. Even your

Important. This week you will be challenged, told what to do, and

horoscope doesn’t know whether it should tell you to be safe

told what the rules are. The important rules are simple: don’t be a

this week or get tested for that thing from last week.

dick to people, and always puff twice and pass to the right.

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18)

Leo (July 23 — August 22)

Trust. Just because your new flatmate is a little socially awkward

Experiment. It’s only through experimentation we discover the

doesn’t mean they are using your toothbrush in the morning.

best version of ourselves. So this is the week to try new things,

They are probably just using it to “do stuff” in their room.

like the ORI2016 Backyard Pilsner… designed by the WSU.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20)

Virgo (August 23 — September 22)

Honesty. The next three years will define who you become in the

Stereotype. High School is over and so are the old cliches. Just

world. But so will the next week. One day you’re just a first year,

because you join the debating society doesn’t mean you will stay

the next you’re the guy that had sex in the foam at Bar 101.

a virgin your entire law degree… that’s just a coincidence.

Aries (March 21 — April 19)

Libra (September 23 — October 22)

Misdirection. Your new flatmate thinks you’re using their new

Inquisitive. It’s natural to question whether you made the right choice

toothbrush to clean your teeth. So hopefully they will never

coming here. Especially if you are a philosophy student. Not because

look in your wardrobe.

of the nature of your degree but because you’re probably stoned.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20)

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21)

Calm. Be cool, nobody you respect ever got anywhere

Positivity. Don’t be held back by your own weaknesses. Turn them

being abusive, loud and obnoxious. Those people all end up

into strengths. Remember 5/4ths of students can’t do fractions

becoming lecturers.

and they still get 6/3rds of all the jobs.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20)

Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21)

Faith. Some people believe in God. Some people believe the guy

Panic. There are only 171,360 minutes (roughly) till exams start!

they had sex with in a foam party will be their future husband and some believe in the validity of these horoscopes. You pick the idiot.

33

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YOUR RECYCLING - RESCUE, DON’T BIFF A few of the crew to be rescued plastics with the PLASTIC Only 1 and 2 symbols go in the recycling crate

and steel cans TINS & CANS Aluminium go in the recycling crate

S QU A S H ‘N F O L D IN L ID

WA S H ‘N S QU A S H

2

Blu Topp

GLASS

1

1

PETE

PETE

1

2

PETE

HDPE

HDPE

Buzz

No plastic bags

No aerosols

PAPER & CARD

Green, clear or brown bottles and jars go in the recycling crate

Place all paper and card beside the recycling crate.

Max box size 750mm x 750mm

RESCUE ME!

T IE ‘N P L AE B E S ID

CE

Brewskee

No beer boxes

MEET THE MA XS

No broken glass No window glass or crockery

Iggy

No pizza boxes

YOUR RUBBISH - MAX BAGS & MAX WEIGHT DON’T BIFF • unwrapped sharp objects • hot liquid or ashes • syringes and needles • chemicals, paints and solvents Got more than two bags?

• garden waste You can take them to our • items which should go in city’s Refuse Transfer Station at the recycling bin 60 Lincoln St, Hamilton Ph : 0800 101 010 MAX BAGS: Each household can put out two black bags of rubbish per week MAX WEIGHT: Make sure your bags aren’t heavier than 20kg each

Max Bags

Max Weight

Crystelle

WHAT TIME TO PUT THE RUBBISH AND RECYCLING OUT

We need to have your rubbish and recycling crate, paper and card out on the kerb before 8am on your rubbish day.

It’s best not to put rubbish bags out the night before because animals can get into them. hamilton.govt.nz/rubbish

/hamiltoncitycouncil

@CouncilHamilton