Nexus 2016 Issue 17

N.17 / V.48

GO FOR GOLD: NZ ATHLETES TO WATCH OUT FOR AT RIO 2016 PAGE 18

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THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

FEATURES 16 Anyone's Game, Except Hull City Tom Collopy

18

18 Go For Gold Freddy Walker

20 Zika De Janeiro Rory Davis

16

NEWS & OPINION

20

ARTS & CULTURE

FUN & GAMES

02

Lettuce

14

Covered

10

Entertainment

03

Uni News

15

Arts

12

Reviews

04

Nexus News

15

Auteur

30

Snapped

07

Sports

22

Your Space

31

Blind Date

08

CARE

29

Head Chef

32

Puzzles

COLUMNS

ON THE COVER

CAMPBELL ATTWOOD

26

Half-Baked with Vitamin D

Pained Clerks

26

Expectations vs Reality

Joining a Gym

27

Nerd York Times

Fans vs Critics: Civil War

27

Heil Hogan

Family Bonding

28

New Locals

Global Sporting

28

SAWIT

Following the Stars

EDITOR Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE Brittany Rose editor@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan

EDITORIAL SPORT — “WORSE THAN DEATH & TAXES” BRITTANY ROSE

lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz DESIGN Olivia Paris

Outside of Nexus my life is mostly devoid of sports — ­ at parties I loudly shout over televised men tackling each other, I turn the news off at 6.30pm when Mike McRoberts starts speaking, and I ‘hide all’ sports content on my Facebook newsfeed. Why? Because I do not care about sport at all.

design@nexusmag.co.nz MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan james@nexusmag.co.nz

New Zealanders largely love sport, especially rugby. I mean, Richie McCaw even won The New Zealander of the Year. As a culture, we place these men (and they are men) on pedestals, and

CONTRIBUTORS

I’m sure most of them earn their reverence. I think it’s bullshit that McCaw is the best human

Tom Collopy

in New Zealand, but I mostly have no opinion and do pretty well at ignoring sport. But every

Freddy Walker

now and then sport scandals are plastered over every NZ news source and I'm fucked.

I won't act as though I'm an expert, or assume I know any of the facts, but I will say that judging by the alleged (I hate that word) sexual assault of Scarlette the stripper there are very few reasons for me to like sports, rugby or the Chiefs.

The alleged (there’s that word again) behaviour of the men in question is not fucking on.

Annie West Georgia Pollock Onyx Lily Jared Wooldridge Holly Mcleod Joshua Morris

Touching a woman after she tells you not to ­— whether or not she’s a stripper — is not okay,

Peter Dornauf

just the same as sticking your hand up a girl’s skirt in town is not okay. Acting as though you

Dr. Richard Swainson

are entitled to another’s body unless they strongly object is super shitty. I am sick and tired

Rory Davis

of hearing about significant figures in sports acting in the same entitled manner as some of their supporters do in town after a win.

Pro tip for the sports hater: don't go out if there's been a rugby game played in Hamilton. A loss means an aggressive vibe and more fights; a win means hordes of bolshie drunk boys celebrating in red and yellow polyester. No one likes synthetic fibres.

Assault, aggression and bad fashion choices aside, sports is still annoying by pure virtue of

Vitamin D Soni Samra Neum Muliaumasealii Sarah Hyde COVER Ben Whitehouse

its prevalence. Because of the Olympics, more and more small talk is going to revolve around people doing things with their bodies and being given medals. In order to not come across

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as an insufferably rude bitch I will endeavour not to roll my eyes — which is probably wise

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

since I've started my placement as a student teacher at one of the most sport-obsessed high schools in town.

On my first day in the staff room I complimented a teacher on her bright yellow top, I commented that it was a nice and summery colour in this miserable weather (A+ style small talk, imo). You know what she said?

“It's my Hurricanes colours.”

Welcome to the Sport Issue.

ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton

ISSUE 17 SPORT 15 AUGUST 2016

1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

NO TO STARBUCKS YES TO MORE MONEY

SMOKING CRUSTY CARL

COFFEE FREAK We should have smoking zones because then there will not be so butts I like the new vision but there are some things but I do not agree with

lying on the ground or even being thrown into the lakes as it would be

the Starbucks as one it's expensive and in general I don't think students

helpful to have rubbish bins with ashtrays on top this will prevent the

would show must interest. I like the idea of the new complex of the WSU

litters because people can always say you can't smoke on campus but no

is a great idea as well I like the idea of the dentist, bakery,fish %and chip

one listens to it people are older enough to make there own decisions.

shop as well the laundromat and bar.

PS I don't care what the university says they only care that they look

In the idea of nexus there is room for improvement as some of the

good and get paid.

columns I like seeing the sexual side of the nexus but lately it hasn't been

If people wanna slowly kill themselves they should be allowed to,

great and I want to improve so It can expand it to the areas such as radio

having to walk all the way off campus is already too much for their

because it would be awesome.

crusty lungs. Maybe the Uni really could benefit from a carcinogenic

I also know that it must cost a lot to do this and I know most of the

hole where smokers can hide away? Lyam

money goes to the university which I barely see any of as it goes to services that I know nothing about or I guess on projects to scam us out of more money like there excuse for paid parking because it didn't decrease the amount of people using there cars and I also noticed more diesel buses coming into campus about at the very least twice a day but is becoming more frequent, in this I would like to see the stats of where our money goes put in nexus to make people aware as well as I would like to see at the very least a 20% increase of the amount of the levies that we pay to go to the WSU because you guys actually care about students.

PAINT IT YELLOW STUDIOUS STEWART Kia ora, I read WSU's vision booklet. Some great ideas. I love the idea of doing up the SUB building to add more student spaces, cheap food and painting it yellow would be extremely helpful. I like the idea of creating some cheap

Well, ‘That Time I…’ is our fortnightly sex column and it's written by

bus transportation to uni. No issues come to mind when reading the

anonymous students — if you want to make it better email editor@

booklet. It all sounds great.

nexusmag.co.nz to share a sexy story. Also yeah, Starbucks coffee is worse than Momento. Brittany

And if SUB is painted yellow we can all sing “We all live in a yellow SUBmarine all day." Bron

WORD-WHERE?

APPRECIATION

DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN

ART AFICIONADO

I think it's a crime that for the last four weeks in the nexus there is always a word or two that just isn't in the word find that you tell us is in the word find. I need this word find to get me through my 3-5pm class on a Monday (because I start at 9am and my phone is long dead by then)

I’ve been really enjoying the cover art so far this semester, it’s been looking fuckin siiiiiiick.

We’ve really been enjoying you xx Lyam

although I love that it makes me search for longer and waste more time I feel like I am being ripped of as my word finds are never complete. Are you doing this on purpose or does no one check this shit?

Pls halp me complete at least one word find.

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content

Our wonderful designer/Fairy Godmother has sorted this issue and

or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent

made all your dreams come true. Enjoy your procrastination. <3 Bron

to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

2

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SPORT

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Music grad Eliza Boom is one of five finalists in the IFAC Australian Singing

ONYA

MAKING A BOOM

Competition. There’s only one other New Zealander in the final.

SCORING GOALS Hillary Scholar Brayden Lissington is in the NZ Men’s Futsal Squad competing at the FISU World University Futsal Championship in Florida.

TUNING UP Conservatorium of Music student Matthias Balzat is competing in the Wallace International Cello Competition later this month.

JETTING TO JAPAN BA grad Aaron Stewart has just been accepted into the JET Programme to spend a year teaching English in Japan.

IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS BA and PGDip graduate Rohan Marx has just become a millionaire after selling his travel company, Online Republic.

Photo credit: Jason Dorday/FairFax Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

SUMMER RESEARCH SCHOLARSHIPS

ECO YOUR FLAT – WIN PRIZES

Join us on Thursday 8 September, from

Want a summer job that involves real-

Post a video of your flat's eco initiatives

9am on campus, for a day of celebrating

world research and academic experience?

to Facebook or Instagram, tag #ecomyflat

our unique identity and heritage. There’ll

Check out the $5000 Summer Research

and be in to win $1000 worth of prizes!

be presentations, panels, workshops,

Scholarship projects available at

Competition closes 31 August. Visit

exhibitions, displays and performances, so

waikato.ac.nz/scholarships.

facebook.com/EcoCampusWaikato for

nau mai, haere mai!

Applications close 31 August.

more info.

WE’RE HERE TO HELP

QUESTIONING YOUR FUTURE CAREER?

RECOGNISING TOP TEACHERS

If you want to know the best way to

Drop-in to the Career Development Office

Do you know a great lecturer or tutor who

find academic articles, how to use Excel,

for 15 minutes on Wednesday 17 or

deserves some recognition? Nominate

PowerPoint, APA referencing (and more),

Thursday 18 August, 10am-12pm on Level 1

them for a Teaching Excellence Award

the Library runs free tutorials to help. Visit

of the Student Centre (opposite Bennetts),

at waikato.ac.nz/pod/nomination.

waikato.ac.nz/library/study/classes for

Hamilton, for advice. Can’t make it? Visit

Nominations close 2 September.

more info.

waikato.ac.nz/go/careers to register for

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/kingitanga for more details.

an online workshop.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

SEE YOU AT KĪNGITANGA DAY

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS THE DEALS ON THE BUS GO DOWN AND DOWN JAMES RAFFAN

A University of Waikato and the Waikato Regional Council joint initiative means

For the Vice-Chancellor and his staff the announcement represents a paid

student busses will be thirty percent cheaper in 2017.

parking promise fulfilled.

Waikato Students’ Union Vice-President William Lewis endorsed the initiative

“It’s been made possible because the University can direct some of the money

saying that the student fares are something the WSU had pushed for in the last

coming in from paid parking into these subsidies. When we announced the need

five years.

for paid parking, we promised we would investigate funding other transport

“We’re stoked that after spending over a year working on this with the University,

options for students,” said Quigley.

students can now get way cheaper bus fares. We pushed the University hard

“We are very pleased with this agreement which will give University of Waikato

after they implemented paid parking to make sure the money collected at least

students a 30% discount on Busit cards which are already cheaper than the

went towards other, more sustainable, transport options.”

adult fares.”

“We thank the University and Waikato Regional Council (WRC) for being so

“Transport can be a barrier for some students being able to fully participate

responsive in collaborating with us,” William said.

in University life. We’re pleased these bus subsidies will mean sustainable and

University of Waikato Vice-Chancellor Neil Quigley and outgoing Waikato

affordable transport options for students.”

Regional Council Chair Paula Southgate and also praised the efforts of student

“A travel survey last year showed that barriers to bus travel included length of

leaders on the issue.

time for trips, convenience and cost, and the University hopes that by addressing

“We are always pleased to have the support of students, but in this instance

the cost aspect of bus travel, more students will choose this option.”

it was the University funding that has resulted in this outcome. In particular,

Southgate suggested that one of the reasons the agreement was able to be

last year’s WSU president, Shannon Stewart, and this year’s president, Indula

delivered upon was the work of both the University of Waikato and the WRC and

Jayasundara, have supported the idea of subsidised bus fares and advocated

their renewed commitment to the relationship.

strongly for students and I thank them for that,” said the Vice-Chancellor.

“The new relationship opened up doors to review some issues that had remained

“I think it is great that strong advocacy continued over a number of years. The

unresolved. Passenger Transport was one of those. The Vice-Chancellor, Neil

WSU made submissions to WRC, which were excellent and appreciated. Sadly,

Quigley was committed early on to the investigation of the student subsidies

funding restraints for new subsidies were severely constrained, though a number

(That WSU had been advocating for a long time) and improving the access and

of us pushed for a win-win solution,” added Southgate.

function of bus terminals in the Campus. “

4

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SPORT

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

“The latter issue is being explored at this time and will be help turn the University into one of the best bus hubs in the city. Our staff and University staff have an excellent working relationship, better than it has been in the past.”

SIDEBAR THE UNIVERISTY SAYS

Although the move has been popular amongst students we have spoken to, it has lead to others calling for similar initiatives.

“This is definitely going to support students at Waikato University. However, we would expect to see this subsidy extended to support for all students in the Waikato region including those at Wintec and Te Wānanaga o Aotearoa.” said NZUSA President Lindsey Higgins.

With the Vice-Chancellor citing paid parking income as the reason we can fund the bus subsidy we got curious about how much money the new parking programme was bringing in and what the future looked like so we sat down with a University spokesperson.

Student Association at Wintec (SAWIT) President Logan Robinson says “Parking is one of the biggest issues Wintec students encounter on both the City and

Eight months since the introduction of paid parking how is

Rotokauri campus. SAWIT would love to see this rolled out to include Wintec

it going?

students because we think it would be hugely beneficial to resolving the issues

Very well indeed. Students have adapted well to the options

around parking as well as the financial strain many students find themselves under.”

on offer and feedback tells us that many staff and students

William Lewis suggested that now discounts for University students have been achieved, the WSU will continue to monitor the development of parking and transport, but also wants to move forward in achieving a long list of the WSU Vision for Campus.

have changed the way they come to campus because of the implementation of paid parking, and this was one of our goals.

Approximately how much revenue has been collected via paid parking so far and what is the rough breakdown?

“We are getting feedback on our document every day and it is overwhelmingly

Some early figures, calculated in May/June, show that the

positive in consultation groups because it is grounded in what students want to

University had collected $217,000 between February and May

see.” said Lewis, “This is exactly why the WSU exists – to find practical ways to

this year from paid parking.

make the student experience better.”

“It is a very exciting time to be on campus because this is just the first of many

Has the University been made aware of any issues or made

good outcomes from the WSU and our relationship with the University. Keep

improvements to parking?

an eye out for even bigger initiatives from us, such as a building completely

We know that the surfaces of the parking areas in Gate 1 need

dedicated to clubs and even a proper campus bar. “

attention, and this is on our list to look at when it will be possible

“We are still looking into getting our own WSU bus too – for things like rugby games and O-Weeks. We are also interested in finding better transport options for Tauranga students who move locally as well as between campuses. ”

to do that. We are also investigating the possibility of some shelters over some of the more heavily used parking machines around campus for wet-weather protection.

“We love doing Orientation because their is a safety component to it and if we

We are aware that there were plans a while back to look at

had a bus and driver we could do more.”

larger multi-level parking structures?

The review of night time services is something Southgate also endorses.

Had we not introduced paid parking, we would have faced continued pressure on parking spaces at the Hamilton campus

“I support a review of night time services (including the Nightrider) and would

and would have been forced to consider creating even more

be happy to include this in future improvement conversations. I do think we want

parking which was not financially sustainable. Part of the

to find a solution to getting young people safely to and from town for both work

rationale for introducing paid parking was to manage the

and social reasons,” she said.

demand for parking spaces on campus, ensuring the University did not need to provide additional parking in the future, while also promoting more sustainable transport options.

TOO LAZY TO READ?

Nexus is keen to hear from students about your experiences

When: 2017

street? Is it safe? And what do you think about a car parking

Where: All Waikato routes Cost: $1.70 with a Busit Card

with paid parking. Are you parking on campus or out on the building? Get in touch with us at editor@nexusmag.co.nz

More: Visit busit.co.nz for more information

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

The CBD is like a ghost town at the moment with the central business district missing the business part, as a member of the council what can you do to re-vitalise the city?

It's a catch 22 situation — people don’t come into the CBD because there is no need or want to come, and business don’t want to move into Hamilton because there is no customer base. Encouraging businesses to invest in Hamilton to create jobs to stimulate people coming into the CBD is important part of sorting out the issues.

Access to the CBD is an issue that includes parking both for a customer level as well as CBD workers. Creating a reason for people to come to the CBD has to be the focus for CBD rejuvenation. I am a fan of creating an arts hub as part of the Founders rebuild, linking it in with the Museum and Arts Post, replacing the Celebrating Age Centre and the now closed Municipal Pools. This once again needs to be supported with relevant infrastructure, like a parking building and bus stops.

Is it simply a case of removing some of the need to pay for parking or is that an over simplification?

Parking is an important part of fixing the CBD, not only free parking but also reducing the high level of enforcement that is only discouraging people coming

NEWS JASON HOWARTH INTERVIEW

in. It is proven the longer people stay in the CBD the more they spend which is

GRAYSON MASLIN

Recently NZUSA put together a Student City Charter. We have come up with

what businesses want and what will encourage business to come back to the CBD.

some of our own can you run us through your positions on some of the issues raised point by point: You’ve lived in Hamilton for a long time now, what makes it the right time for you for you to run for Council?

I actually ran in 2013 as a very naïve 25 year old, which was a very enlightening experience. It was an introduction to the real world of politics and campaigning.

I’m now three years older (allegedly wiser) and understand Hamilton a bit better, as a candidate under 30 I am in touch with the issues that students and young Hamiltonians face.

You campaigned pretty hard for student discounted bus fares as a student are you happy to see it go through?

Needed to be done, University students contribute millions of dollars to the Hamilton economy every year in course and living costs. While buses sit outside the Hamilton City Council's control, continued advocacy is a must to ensuring that people don’t face barriers when it comes to transport. Removing time limits and/or parking enforcement on the roads around the university is something that I am also keen to push.

You have previously been the chairman of a regional political youth wing and currently hold the office of regional policy chair for the National Party, do you think this experience would help you give you the edge over the other candidates and help create a stronger Hamilton?

Definitely, not because of party political lines and easier access to MPs but learning transferable skills in governance, leadership, management and communication. Being part of the National policy team has allowed me to work on policy that is important, being able to discuss ideas up to a ministerial level, and looking at practical policy that deliver outcomes not just theory. Certainly having Tim Macindoe or David Bennett around to be able to bounce ideas off and provide a wider perspective on issues has been invaluable.

You have listed on your website that you have a focus on community parks, the arts and free CBD parking, why did you choose to focus on these sectors?

They are all areas that have flow on effects that will benefit Hamilton. Better community parks that have BBQ spaces and sports equipment will encourage communities to actually get outdoors and meet each other, which will create stronger, safer communities.

The provision of light rail services to allow students from Huntly, Te Awamutu, Tokoroa and other places access to study options?

It’s a great idea, however funding it will be more difficult. In the interim, improved and more practical bus services for the outer towns should be considered.

A rental warrant of fitness including heating?

Rental standards need to improve, with newer student housing being built around the uni, students will be able to have greater access to warmer, healthier homes.

As a side note the requirement for rentals to have smoke alarms was a policy that I pushed last year to the Minister Nick Smith. He agreed and that requirement came into force 1st July this year. I also encourage any students that are having issues with landlords being slum lords to get in touch with the WSU advocacy team.

A higher minimum wage? (Technically not a local council issue but indulge us) Wages should definitely rise with inflation, yet from a former manager's point of view, do I employ six people on $16.5/hr or five people on $20/hr? I do believe paying people a decent wage and giving them decent work conditions — if you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.

Free CBD parking, is key part to CBD re-growth. The concept that perception is reality is in play, the mindset of most Hamiltonians is that the CBD is expensive

Recycling of Pizza Boxes?

and there isn’t enough car parks, regardless if that is true or not. The reality is

It’s 2016 people, it is embarrassing that the council don’t have this issue sorted.

that other locations are a 15 minute drive away with plenty of free parking. Even the use of council services like the library or the museum comes at cost when it

Permanent bottle bins in student areas?

comes to parking, which disincentives people visiting them.'

See above.

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SPORT

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION BEAUDEN’S OUR BEST

SPORTS OPINION THE HAYNE PLANE LANDS IN THE GC TOM COLLOPY

FREDDY WALKER At the end of the 2014 NRL season Jarryd Hayne announced that he was stepping away from rugby league to pursue a lifelong Hooray! The Hurricanes won the Super Rugby final! I was there at the stadium and the win was a feeling of relief for me. After last year I couldn’t bear another finals loss.

dream to play in the NFL for the San Francisco 49ers. Nearly two years later Hayne is back after signing a two year multi-million dollar contract with the Gold Coast Titans leaving Parramatta fans devastated. Hayne was thrust straight into the 17 man side

MVP of the game was the incomparable Beauden Barrett, who has surely

to take on the Warriors and make his debut for the club in front

cemented his name in the number 10 jersey for the All Blacks. The first-five slot for

of a 25,000 strong crowd.

the All Blacks has been hotly debated since the exit of Dan Carter. I’m sorry Chiefs or Highlanders fans, but Cruden and Sopoaga aren’t half the player that Beauden is. That’s why the Hurricanes pivot has to start for the AB’s.

Hayne came off the bench in the 28th minute to a welcoming reception and it didn’t take long for him to make an impact. A try saving tackle on a storming Bodene Thompson and a bomb

Beauden’s ability to break open a game off the bench is the main reason he hasn’t

reception which lead to a repeat set and a Konrad Hurrell try

started in the Black jersey consistently. Steve Hansen obviously sees his ability to

set the tone for what’s to come from the Hayne Plane. After

win games from the 60th minute onwards, and that cannot be understated. He is

half time Hayne shifted into a play making role in the halves. A

the best in the world at that. But over the past month, including the Welsh third

thunderous hit on Shaun Johnson and a try assist capped off a

test, Barrett has proven he is ready to control a game from the get-go.

successful return to the NRL. He did however throw an intercept

Barrett takes the ball to the line more effectively, passes with more accuracy and tactically kicks better than any other first five in the country. Add to that his ability

which lead to a Warriors try which was the beginning of the end for the Titans as they went down 24-14.

to read a game and consistently dictate it and we don’t just have someone who

Hayne looks set to play in the halves until round 25 when Tyrone

can replace Carter, we have someone with the potential to match him if not even

Roberts is set to return. He has played in the halves before

better the All Black legend.

and has shown he possesses all of the qualities which make a

Imagine it. Aaron Smith, the best halfback in the world, delivering to Beauden, the best first-five in the world. It would be dynamite. We won’t be beaten when that combination gels and there is no doubt that it will. Beauden is our best ball runner, can pass brilliantly and his in-game kicking is irresistible too.

good five eighth. He is a strong runner of the ball which can not only create opportunities for himself but draw the attention of several defenders and free up players on his outside. He also has a wicked cut out ball in his arsenal as well as a well-rounded kicking game which makes him a fifth tackle option. On defence

The only real question that anybody can ask about the legitimacy of Barrett is

he is solid as a rock and the experience he brings to a relatively

in his goal-kicking, which hasn’t been consistent at all this season. But since he

young Gold Coast side is massively beneficial.

has come back from the aforementioned Welsh series he has kicked better than Sopoaga, and since Cruden doesn’t kick at all for the Chiefs, Barrett’s statistics in the past month have been the best of any kicker.

This is a great acquisition for the Gold Coast and it definitely boosts their chances of playing playoff footie this year. Jarryd is only going to get better as his confidence grows and he spends

Come on Shag, time to give Beauden the position he deserves. Let him dominate

more time with the team. Although the Titans have a tough

the game from the first minute and watch our AB’s become even better than they

run home I believe they will clinch eighth position and the final

are now.

playoff spot of the 2016 season.

7

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

Pool Weekly

Tournament Thursdays 1 - 3pm SUB Basement Next to Namaste

DIRECTOR BIO ANNIE WEST For those of you who picked up this copy of Nexus on your way into the library to ‘study’, congratulations; this is stage three of Waikato student procrastination. The first stages are, of course, opening your laptop to spend 90 minutes on

gold coin entry Sign up at the SUB Office

Facebook, followed by giving up on your assignment after writing 150 words and stuffing your face with $5 pizza. As a fifth year student, believe me when I say I know how you feel.

I guess an introduction is in order: my name is Annie, and yes, I’m okay (for the millionth time). I am currently trying to finish a Masters in Biology, please don’t ask how my thesis is going, I might have a meltdown. I have jumped head first into a WSU directors position for the remainder of 2016, taking charge

CLUBS CLUB GRANTS

of the Tauranga portfolio. My passions are science, public perception of science, and representation. My goals for TGA are to give you folks a voice — I am your ally, so let me know

Round Three Club Grants close Friday, 19 August

your thoughts and concerns! I want to set up proper transport

This will be the last round of grants for the year, so make sure you apply.

student experience. So hit me up if you see me on campus,

Application forms can be downloaded from wsu.org.nz

or head to WSU Tauranga Students Forum on Facebook.

EXPERIENCE IIMC VOLUNTEERING OPPORTUNITIES 16th August, 12-2pm, Level Zero The Institution for Indian Mother and Child welcomes professionals, students, teachers and others to volunteer between 1‑3 months. Working in a developing country is not easy but the experience will help you grow personally and professionally. Gain valuable career experience, learn new and diversified skills, and make a hands on contribution to the fight against poverty. It will be an experience you will never forget, with insight into health and development in India and the chance to learn about Indian culture.

To hear more or to get involved, come along and listen to Dr Sujit speak.

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options to the Tron, and make sure you feel part of the

T N E S E R P SPORTS

S

E T A M I T L U CU INTER-FA

LTY

E E B S I FR

OMMEE O H H E E K K A A T T LALLALN&D 001166 A M E M H E T H E T L ILRLURLUE YSSHHIIEELLDDFFOORR22 L L W I W M A M E A T ONOENTEE INNTTEERR--FFAACCUULLTTY TTHHEEI

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“It is so messy.”

• The ultimate sense of

– Margot Robbie discusses a Saturday night out in Hamilton.

accomplishment when you do an assignment on time • Fast food workers giving you free shit after they fuck your order up

“My boobs just have their own life.”

• The neverending existential crisis

Hazard.

• Constant dry retching whenever you

and despair when an assignment is late

– Jessica Simpson pitches a new reality show, The Boobs of

hear anything about the Olympics • People who steal your recycling bins

“Today at work should be interesting...”

• Accidentally buying and consuming

to be passive aggressive.

• Everything about the Chief's recent

food which is worryingly far past it’s use by date

– Hilary Duff quits Hollywood and gets a desk job that allows her

antics

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TOM DALEY @ TOMDALEY1994

KELSEY ROBINSON @ KROBIN32

JAKE DALTON @JAKE_DALTON

A babe of a Serbian, serving more

If you don’t know Tom Daley and his

Let’s be real here, who doesn’t love a

The USA men’s gymnastics team

than your average tennis player.

seductive post-dive showers by now,

beach volleyball player with girl-next-

has been the object of the internet’s

(Geddit? Serving.) She didn’t do so

you surely have been living under a

door looks in short shorts? Robinson

affections all week. One look at Jake

well in the first round of the tennis

rock. Daley took the world by storm

looks like the kind of girl who’d be

Dalton and you know why. He’s a fan

competition, but her Insta game is still

in London with his cheeky smile and

game for adventures and great to

of getting his shirt off and no one is

strong as hell so you know she has a

streakless tan and has been ruling the

take home to the parents.

complaining. The thirst is real.

fallback career.

hearts of many ever since.

10

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

THEATRE SISTER ANZAC GEORGIA POLLOCK

Where: The Meteor, 1 Victoria street When: August 18th-20th Tickets: $25, available from iTicket Amanda Rees, director of Sister Anzac, describes the show as a story of “The strength of our Kiwi women in a time of huge difficulty, the reality of what our country went through in WWI, and the resilience of the human spirit.” She says that when she was given the script in 2014, she read it and “went wow.”

It is the story of the Kiwi women who served as nurses in WWI. The play follows three nurses and a matron, as well as a chief medical officer and a young soldier.

They are on the hospital ship, the Maheno, on their way to Anzac Cove.

Originally the cast started rehearsing at nighttime in a Navy Museum, developing a close bond and great cast dynamic. They have now been rehearsing for two and a half months to bring us this incredible play, integral to our country’s history. Rees has developed such a connection with this play and its origins, that audience members are encouraged to tell their own family stories of WWI, to be recorded and put onto their website. She says, “This play not only pays a little, somewhat belated, homage to the women who served in WWI, but it helps connect us with what people today

POETRY HERA LINDSAY BIRD

BY HERA LINDSAY BIRD

are going through, and how the human spirit can shine through regardless.”

Get along and learn a little about our country’s history, but book your tickets soon, as they are selling out fast.

JOSHUA MORRIS

Hera Lindsay Bird is a New Zealand poet, Hera Lindsay Bird is also the name of her first poetry collection (There is probably a lot of clever things going on there to do with authorship and what not but I would just like to say her name is fucking cool and I would do the exact same thing if I was her).

Now a lot of poetry collections begin with some meditation on

BOOK CHILDREN OF THE FAITH TRILOGY

BY FLEUR BEALE ONYX LILY

writing or the collection itself, Bird is no different in this case, except her meditation on the book starts with the line “To be fourteen, and wet yourself extravagantly / At a supermarket

Notable NZ writer Fleur Beale won accolades for her book I am not Esther when

checkout” and if you don’t think that is some cool as, punk ass

it was first released in 1998. It follows Kirby, a typical teenager whose life is flung

shit then I don’t know what to tell you.

into turmoil when her mother tells her she is “going away” and sends her daughter

She has a poem in here called ‘Keats Is Dead So Fuck Me From Behind’ which is about exactly that. She has a diatribe to infamous dad jokes which ends with the lines: “The mother joke is here, and there is no punchline/ this is a poem, not a joke, and

to live with her estranged family, the Pilgrims, part of a semi-closed strict religious community called the Children of the Faith. Kirby becomes Esther and struggles to maintain her identity amidst the requirements to live a godly and seemly life within this closeted community.

the only way out is death” There are rants about Monica from

Beale has in recent years followed up with two sequels — I am Rebecca and Being

friends, bisexuality (fuck anyone who thinks being bisexual is in

Magdalene, told from the perspective of two of the other Pilgrim sisters over a

some way greedy), and something about Ancient Egypt. There

number of years.

are twenty-one poems in this collection and each one is a middle finger raised to and for the ideas of love, sex and death.

No doubt building on New Zealand’s recent fascination with Gloriavale, Beale explores the life of a closed religious community with a non-judgemental eye, but

Needless to say you should buy this as soon as your next

does a better job of highlighting the dark underside of these “godly” communities

StudyLink payment comes in and support New Zealand

than the most recent documentaries have done. Although aimed at young adult

poetry because there’s obviously no point in supporting rugby

readers, these books are very well written and gripping for readers of any age.

anymore.

Don’t start them when you have an assignment looming…

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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK STIFF: THE CURIOUS LIVES OF HUMAN CADAVERS BY MARY ROACH HOLLY MCCLEOD

Death is inevitable, yet for something that we all will eventually experience it is something we know very little about, or what happens after. This book doesn’t deal with the soul ascending into an assignment free, chocolate filled heaven, but rather looks at what happens to our fleshy shells once we cease to exist in them.

The cadavers that are the subjects of Stiff couldn’t have had a livelier or more sympathetic chronicler than Mary Roach, who has managed to write a book that balances sensitivity and respect with a wonderfully sharp wit. This book explores post-death bodily functions, so if postmortem farts are your thing, this book is going to be great for you.

For those of you who enjoy the more macabre stories of decomposition and forensic crime research, this book is also great. There are so many ways in which we can help science after we die (personally I am hoping to be a crash test dummy) and this book is a sciencey, yet light hearted and captivating way to explore such a gruesome topic.

FILM SUICIDE SQUAD JARED WOOLRIDGE

DC are not playing it safe. They could do what Marvel does,

THEATRE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

copy the formula, follow the script, but no, instead they whip

GEORGIA POLLOCK

out Suicide Squad. It’s a different beast to other superhero movies; here, the focus is instead on a group of villains, forced to do good under threat of death by the government, instead

Where: Riverlea Theatre, 83 Riverlea Road

of your usual good guys. Not only that, but the style, the

When: August 6th-20th

soundtrack, the characters; everything about it is out of the

Tickets: Available at iTicket

norm, and for that, I love it.

Riverlea theatre’s Beauty and the Beast has opened to rave reviews, loved by

The story isn’t much. Bad villain is bad, wants to destroy

parents and children alike. The cast, crew, and production team have been working

humanity. Basic stuff, but really what’s needed when you’re

tirelessly to recreate this Disney classic, and boy have they done a good job. The

introducing a whole bunch of brand new people to an

perfect casting of macho Gaston, sweet Belle, and the scary yet soft natured

audience. The story jumps straight in off the bat, letting you

Beast, come together with the incredible hair, makeup and costumes to give us a

know the members of the Squad briefly before sending them

nostalgic trip back to our childhood.

into danger, fleshing them out in flashback form later. There are even some very enjoyable cameos from Batman and Joker, establishing a possible future for them.

For those of you who do not know the story, it is about a young prince who has been transformed into a “hideous monster.” All the people living in his castle have been also transformed… into objects, and the only way that they can all become

So, while the plot may be basic, everything else is not. This is

human again is if the Beast falls in love, and is loved in return. This is when Belle, “a

a very character-driven film, and while not all the characters

beauty, but a funny girl”, stumbles across his castle in search for her father. Drama,

get as much a chance to shine as others, the stand-outs are

romance, comedy and a few great ballads ensue.

easily Harley Quinn, Deadshot and Amanda Waller. They get to shine in a movie where everyone, even the good guys, seem to come in on the wrong side of the moral spectrum.

While I’m sure it won’t be to everyone’s tastes (and the need for more Joker drives one insane), Suicide Squad gets its characters, and strikes out on its own unapologetic path.

This musical is brought to life by the iconic music of the original Disney movie, played by an incredibly talented live orchestra. The music is not only played during the fantastic chorus numbers and well-known solos, but throughout the entire play, setting the tone and transporting us back to childhood.

Go with a group of friends to relive some childhood memories, or take a younger relative (they’ll love you for it), but get in quick because many of the shows are already sold out!

13

COVERED CAMPBELL ATTWOOD Age: 21 Occupation: Illustrator, Graphic Designer What Mediums to do you tend to work in?

I love to work digitally using my tablet, using photoshop and illustrator but also love to get traditional and use pencil, pen and paint when I get some down time and get creative.

Describe your style in 3 words I wouldn't say I have only one style but a wide range of styles that I rotate around depending on the mood and the project.

Where can people find your work online?

Visit campbellattwood.com to view my work. Also follow my Instagram account which is cattwooddraws.

What would it take for you to drink glass of one of the University ponds?

A one-way ticket to Greece.

As a footballer, how many times do you cry daily?

Surprisingly not that much since I stopped shaving my legs. Â&#x2014;

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

ARTS HUMOROUS GALLERY PETER DORNAUF

The visual arts are not big on the funny stuff. No stand-up

bucks the trend in art circles. It was part of a show on at the

comedians here. When was the last time you saw a visual

Wallace in Morrinsville, entitled, All In. The piece in question,

joke in the gallery? No, it’s all serious straight-faced material

an acrylic on canvas, was a portrait of Captain Cook, a

down at the Art Museum, whether exploring aesthetics for

realist portrayal of the man, stern faced, slightly enlarged

its own sake or ponderously pouring over some pertinent

nose, dressed in his regal naval uniform, proudly look away

theme. I have to say that I do like a good ponderous pouring

to his right. However all of this gravitas and presence was

myself, but then I’m not averse to something a little on the

completely undercut by the fact that all his golden buttons

lighter side, either. And sometimes you can make your point

were undone and his coat and shirt pulled aside to reveal

more germane and palatable when there’s an injection of

a bare chest on which was tattooed the figures of perky

wit and absurdity in the mix.

bosomed scantily clad Pacific maidens.

Actually now that I mention it, there was a complete art

The incongruity was one thing and then the ironies were

movement back in the day that did a mean black humour

another. I fell off my chair laughing. And then, of course, one

gig during the First World War; people like Frenchman,

stops laughing to take in the seriousness of it all. Job done.

Marcel Duchamp who took a urinal and signed it, not with his own name but the name of the German manufacturer, R. Mutt, and put it up for exhibition. Very funny. But also serious, since his point was, among others in the context of the theatre of mass slaughter, that the perpetrators were a bunch of piss heads.

AUTEUR INTEGRAL SUPPORTS RICHARD SWAINSON

Next door in the main gallery was another show called, Guidebook, Second Edition. This exhibition included another painting, enamel on canvas by Richard Lewer, on the serious subject of a funeral. There was the priest, the mourners, the coffin. The style of this work was faux naïve with a touch of the surreal. Here the artist had cleverly fused

But I did come across recently a deliciously funny piece

in his treatment of the subject, something both comic and

of art that did make me laugh out loud, which of course

dreadful. Magic.

One of the points of difference between today's American

psychology of crime that he becomes a criminal himself in

cinema and the Golden Age of Hollywood are the supporting

order to better study the subject. Legend has it that during

actors. During the years of the studio system it wasn't

its production the stars, including villain Humphrey Bogart,

just the stars that were on contract. Because of the sheer

referred to the film as "The Amazing Doctor Clitoris".

volume of films being made — and because each studio had its own house style and genres it was particularly associated with — even supporting players became typecast and/or familiar faces.

Whilst Bogart gives a gangster performance typical of that stage of his career and Edward G. Robinson is hilarious in the title role, the appearance of a supporting actor gave me just as much pleasure. Donald Crisp plays the police

If you watch enough films from the 1930s, 1940s or 1950s

detective who eventually brings Clitterhouse down (not to

you start recognising these personalities, some of whom

be confused with 'going down on the clitoris').

threatened to become stars in their own right and often did so on television toward the end of the studio era. Ward Bond, a crony of John Wayne's and frequent supporting cast member in Duke films, is a good example. A veteran of literally hundreds of movies, at age 54 he became a small screen leading man in the western series Wagon Train.

Unfortunately, it killed him. Bond died of a heart attack three years later, his show high in the ratings at the time.

Crisp had an immense career, stretching from 1908 to 1963. In the silent era he flirted with direction, co-directing the Buster Keaton masterpiece The Navigator (1924) and then having sole charge of the Douglas Fairbanks epic Don Q, Son of Zorro (1925). As an actor his billing went up and down. In 1919 Crisp was brilliant as the abusive father in DW Griffith's Broken Blossoms and in 1941 he won the Best Supporting Actor Oscar for his nuanced work as a more benign patriarch in

The other week I watched a film somewhat notorious for

How Green is My Valley. In The Amazing Doctor Clitterhouse,

its title. The Amazing Doctor Clitterhouse (1938) is a minor

in a comparatively minor part, he's just brilliant.

classic, a black comedy about a doctor so intrigued by the

15

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE ANYONE’S GAME, EXCEPT HULL CITY TOM COLLOPY

one of which was absolutely World Class. The combination of him and Vardy upfront is going to cause havoc for defences as they are both strong, pacy strikers who can be a handful to try and contain.

Their midfield is much the same apart from the loss of Kante and the addition of Mendy, this means that the combination of Vardy and Mahrez will continue to thrive and young Demarai Gray will continue to grow and become a better player as the season goes on. Their defence is also much the same and if they can be as much of a dominant force as they were last season then Leicester will continue

Last season was one of the most competitive yet, it was so unpredictable and

to be competitive in this league.

I don’t think there will be any change to that this season. There are so many questions to be asked leading into the season. Can Leicester City continue to be competitive? Will Manchester United be a superstar team? Who will be in danger of relegation come the end of the season?

MANCHESTER UNITED After the addition of Jose Mourinho as manager at the end of last season, Manchester United have splashed the cash to acquire a number of formidable, world renowned players. United struggled to score goals last season, although

LEICESTER CITY

some of this can be attributed to Louis Van Gaal’s system. The fact was they

So, can Leicester City be competitive this year and is there a chance they repeat

weren’t putting the ball in the back of the net. So it is to no surprise that they

their incredible 2015/16 campaign? They will definitely be highly competitive again

have acquired attacking players during the summer transfer window and the

but I don’t think they will go on to win another Premier League title this season.

talent they have managed to acquire is phenomenal.

Chelsea. They replaced him with another Frenchman, Nampalys Mendy, who is an exciting young talent in the centre defensive midfield position. He has massive shoes to fill after Kante’s impressive season in which he was an absolute rock in midfield. Leicester have also signed Ahmed Musa, a young Nigerian International

Zlatan Ibrahimović is one of the biggest names in football, and a prolific goal scorer. His size and strength is going to benefit United as he can hold the ball up for his midfielders and has the ability to be an aerial threat inside the box. He is also a world class finisher and I wouldn’t be surprised if he scored 25 goals this season.

striker who had previously been playing his football in the Russian League. He

Jose Mourinho and Juan Mata haven’t seen eye to eye dating back to his Chelsea

has already proven his talent after scoring twice against Barcelona in preseason,

days so it wasn’t a surprise to see United sign an attacking right midfielder

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ARTWORK: MITCHELL COOK

Leicester City’s only major loss was N’Golo Kante who completed a transfer to

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

"Pogba is only going to add to an already impressive looking squad, his athleticism and youthfulness is going to be a breath of fresh air into United’s midfield."

who will start ahead of Mata. Henrikh Mkhitaryan joined the side from German

RELEGATION

powerhouse Borussia Dortmund and will pose an attacking threat on the right

When I look at the relegation picture for the upcoming season two teams

hand side for United. With the world record return of Paul Pogba complete United

standout who I believe will be relegated. These are newly promoted Burnley and

are looking like the team to beat. The Frenchman played for United’s youth side

Hull City. Both teams lack Premier League experience and have failed to make

making three appearances for the 1st team before leaving for Juventus in 2012 for

any key signings over the transfer window. These two teams can compete at a

a compensation fee of £800,000. United are now paying the price for that mistake

high level in this competition.

quite literally to the sum of £89,000,000 plus agent fees. Pogba is only going to add to an already impressive looking squad, his athleticism and youthfulness is going to be a breath of fresh air into United’s midfield. This team can be a superstar team as long as Jose doesn’t lose the plot. They now have attacking options to complement their defence. They will be most dangerous on the counter

The final spot is tough to choose but I think it will be Swansea. Unless they pick up a striker before the transfer window is finished I can see Swansea struggling this season. They have a fairly good midfield but no one up front to take advantage of it and score goals on a regular basis.

attack and from set piece and the signing of Eric Bailly has only strengthened

Middlesbrough will be competitive this season. They have made some fantastic

United’s back line. Let’s also not forget that they have David de Gea in net, a world

signings in Alvaro Negredo, Viktor Fischer and Victor Valdes — all have played

class keeper who keeps clean sheets for fun. They are serious title contenders this

national team football. This is really going to bolster their squad and it’s great to

year, I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually went on to win the title.

see a newly promoted team attract and sign players of their credentials and look to be competitive. Middlesbrough have been a Premier League side before and

ARSENAL

know what it takes to be competitive in this league, I can see them finishing as

Arsenal are going to struggle to score goals, Olivier Giroud simply can’t play

high as 12th this season.

upfront by himself. Danny Welbeck is injured until February and Yaya Sanogo has just come back from loan where he was unsuccessful in his time away. He has

PREDICTION

not yet scored a Premier League goal or shown any sign that he can be a first

I believe the top six will finish Manchester United, Manchester City, Liverpool,

team striker option. They have signed a young Japanese striker Takuma Asano

Chelsea, Tottenham and West Ham. I really say this with no confidence. There are

but not much is known about him so it is hard to say how he will perform. This is a

so many strong sides this season that anything could happen. In my eyes there

huge risk and may mean that Alexis will have to spend some time upfront for the

are seven or eight legitimate contenders, but my money would be on Manchester

first half of the season until the January transfer window where they must sign a

United at $4 with the TAB.

striker to be in contention this season.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE GO FOR GOLD FREDDY WALKER

Freddy Walker is excited about the Olympic Games — which is to be expected given that he’s one of our sports writers. The last few Games time delays have really fucked with his sports spectating. He’s staging a comeback though, he’s planned ahead for Rio and created a must watch list. What a champ.

During the London Olympic Games I was in high school and the time difference meant I mostly watched highlights alone. Beijing was similar. But Rio is one that I want to sink my teeth into and really get behind our athletes. The only issue is — who do I watch? I know that the Sevens will be a must-watch, but I really want to get behind our athletes who aren’t as well publicised, the ones who could potentially surprise us with a medal.

PETER BURLING AND BLAIR TUKE 49er Sailing Burling and Tuke are a team unparalleled in the world of sailing. I watched and was inspired by their 2012 London performance — a silver medal. Since then, they have amassed a record of not losing a 49er regatta anywhere in the world. Additionally, the pair were named 2015 Rolex World Sailors of the Year, the most prestigious prize for world sailors. A medal is the least of their ambitions — they’ll be gunning for gold, and my prediction is that you’d be pretty brave to bet against them.

LYDIA KO Golf Okay, okay, okay, I know Lydia Ko is almost a household name in New Zealand now. The world number one women’s golfer is incredible, and is a shoo-in for a medal at Rio. I’m writing this more as a shameless please-watch-her-win type of plug. The world number one will be number one at Rio, mark my words. I know that for many of you golf is not an enjoyable watch, and I too have felt that way before. But this is different. Lydia will bring us home a gold and I will watch every second of it, and so should you.

POLLY POWRIE AND JO ALEH 470 Sailing Team Jolly have all the makings of being a top medal prospect in these games. They have already won Olympic gold — at London in 2012, which I unfortunately didn’t have the pleasure of watching because school was “more important”. They are a dynamic team and have won five World Championships in the 470 class. Their most recent result is a silver in Argentina earlier this year. They are ready to take on Rio as a new venue and I am ready to follow them all the way (hopefully) to a gold.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

JULIE BROUGHAM Equestrian (Individual freestyle) Julie is the first on this list that I would consider to be a longer shot. But her record is pretty darn good and I think she has a chance at a medal. Julie holds many national titles and even an Australasian title to her name, and while Rio is a far stretch from this, she will be going in with no fear. Equestrian isn’t always my go-to when watching the Olympics but I will be sure to tune in this year and Julie will be one of my first watches.

LINDA VILLUMSEN Cycling Linda will go to Rio with only one thing on her mind — redemption. In London she fell two seconds behind a bronze medal in the individual time trial, and she will certainly be looking to rectify that this year. Linda is a Danish-born athlete who has victories all over the world to her name. Her most notable win was in Richmond, USA last year and she has all the makings of a medal in Rio. Definitely one to watch and cycling is something which is an awesome watch regardless so you have no excuses to miss this one.

JACKO GILL Shot Put Jacko, the child prodigy. Jacko, the 15-year-old who won the under 20 world title.

But where has Jacko been since then? Injuries have certainly hampered what was a budding career for Jacko but don’t count him out. Now 21, he heads to Rio with plenty of experience under his belt and a few decent performances to his name. While a medal could be a long shot, I wouldn’t put it past him. I’m backing him to live up to that potential he’s always had. I know you’ll all watch Valerie Adams, so watch Jacko Gill as well.

DANNY LEE Golf Danny Lee shot onto the professional golf scene in 2009 after a successful amateur career which culminated in his winning the US amateur at the age of just 18 — the youngest to ever do it. Since then Danny has had a mixed run of results but seems to have found a consistency to his game over the past few years which has seen him finish in the top ten in plenty of tournaments. Seeing as a lot of golfers have pulled out of the Olympics Danny will be looking to strike gold, excuse the pun.

NICK WILLIS 1500m It wouldn’t be a complete medal prospects list without Nick Willis on it. Many of you will know who he is and for that reason many of you will know that his career is winding down. But don’t count him out for that reason. Nick’s experience could be a key factor in what will definitely be his last games. Add to that his hunger to represent New Zealand with pride one last time and he could be an outsider to contend. A hopeful one from me but I’ll be watching him anyway.

19

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE ZIKA DE JANEIRO RORY DAVIS

mosquito — truly devastating stuff. That being said, considering the virus’s brutal nature you can see why some athletes are refusing to compete at this year’s Olympic Games. If a person is found to have come into contact with the virus in some way then that person would risk any potential offspring having multiple birth defects, so yeah, definitely one virus to avoid. I reckon that all the athletes should just invest in one of those electric fly zappers. The ever faithful fly zapper might not be the tool for the job this time round.

Gisele Bundchen may have looked like a silver statue, stomping through the

Looking past the Zika virus there are several other concerns that people seem to

Opening Ceremony as though she’s a Victoria Secrets model (spoiler alert,

be having with allowing Rio de Janeiro to host this year’s Olympic Games. For the

expensive lingerie is why she’s famous), but Rio itself is looking pretty crap.

athletes that would feel more comfortable in the water than on land (swimmers,

Rory Davis explains.

rowers etc.) Rio holds yet another safety concern. The rivers and lakes in Rio de Janeiro are beyond polluted, and this is coming from someone that is used

Unknown to many, 2016 has already given us much more than Pokémon Go and

to swimming in the majestic Waikato River. Seriously though, from the pictures

the continued shame of being a poor student in Hamilton. That’s right. Most

we have seen of the rivers and lakes that will be used to hold some of this year’s

recently 2016 has introduced us to yet another Olympic Games and of course,

Olympic events I can’t say that I blame the athletes for being slightly concerned.

like always, there has been much controversy surrounding the location of the

According to The Guardian the World Health Organisation has recently said “It is

games. For 2016 (as I’m sure you are all aware) the Olympic Games are being

suggested that all athletes should cover cuts and grazes with waterproof plasters

hosted in Rio de Janeiro. While spending a few weeks in Brazil watching fit

prior to exposure, try to avoid swallowing the water, wash/shower as soon as

athletes compete on the world stage may sound like a dream come true to a

possible after exposure and, as far as possible, minimise their time in the water

common couch potato, the athletes competing in this year’s games are not all

and avoid going in the water after heavy rainfall if possible.” This news must be

that convinced.

far from comforting to those that will be competing in Rio for the next few weeks.

Perhaps the biggest concern that the Majority of the athletes are having is coming

Aside from some killer mosquitos and water fronts that look like they belong in

into contact with the infamous Zika virus. The Zika virus is a mosquito born virus

a drain, Rio de Janeiro has certainly done a good job at ensuring that they are

and is typically spread through the insects themselves, however, the virus can

ready to host this year’s Olympic games. The opening ceremony took place on

also be sexually transmitted. Imagine that, you’re in a stadium surrounded by the

the 5th of this month and despite all the concerns for this year’s Olympics at least

fittest people ever to grace God’s green earth but you can’t get any because of a

the ceremony was ceremonial.

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SPORTS

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE SPORTS THAT AREN’T RUGBY INTERVIEWS BY BRITTANY ROSE

Sometimes sport isn’t rugby. Weird, huh? In preparation for the Sport Issue Brittany checked out the Uni website and found a whole raft of athleticy stuff. As someone who doesn’t really get the definition of ‘sport’ she set out to ask three random clubs if they could narrow her definition a little. They couldn’t, but their answers were interesting.

Questions:

every member carries their own satisfaction home. As a club we can measure

Describe your sport in 3 words.

our success in terms of keeping our members busy and satisfied with the trip

What skills should a player have to participate in your sport?

programme. We run a trip every weekend and at times during the week. We

What does winning entail in your sport?

run an extensive programme into the beautiful parts of the (wild) country,

How successful is your team? What’s your biggest achievement?

both in the top half of the North Island and the spectacular South Island

Where can people find more information/contact you?

in summer. Our achievements are celebrated with photos on our Facebook page.

5. Facebook: facebook.com/WaikatoTrampingClub/

WAKA AMA CLUB

Tramping chairperson: Stephen Prendergast 021 466247

Steve

Tramping Club Captain: Selwyn June 027 4978151

1. Fun, fitness, no age barrier.

Kaimai Ridgeway coordinator: John McArthur 021 2889641

2. Skills comes with the person who is willing to learn and listen, otherwise anybody can do it.

3. Winning is not everything, but pays off when you’re willing to do the hard

KENDO Leon

yards.

4. Our achievement is that as a team we work together, and completing a 42km race in Takapuna which we finished 3rd.

5. wakaama.co.nz/stories, or email ngataiwhakarongo@gmail.com

1. Fun, Inspiring, Challenging.

2. I think kendo players need to be willing to take the challenges. No matter what stage you are at, you will always have something to improve. You need to be able to take the challenges and improve yourself constantly. So kendo players are very humble, they are willing to take advice and change

WAIKATO TRAMPING CLUB John

themselves into better kendo players and be a better person.

3. There are a lot of things you need to have to win. For example, your daily hard training, your experience and even your luck. To be able to win in a kendo

1. “Challenge yourself, naturally.”

competition, you need to have full of confidence and techniques. A standard

2. The ‘skill set’ of our participants ranges from the very modest; ‘being able

kendo competition usually takes 3-5 min. You need to be able to conquer the

to walk with a small pack’ to the more demanding; being able to navigate

threat and fear created by you opponent in a few minutes and have the spirit

through unknown terrain. The attributes required in trampers are often more character based; stamina, perseverance, problem solving, enjoyment of the physical challenges of getting somewhere new.

to strike them to get points.

4. We are proud that we have Waikato Players in every division’s final.We got the Men’s Kyu grade 2nd place, Women’s Kyu grade 2nd place, Men’s Dan

3. The personal satisfaction of getting to a beautiful, or remote, or challenging

grade 1st place, Youth division 1st place, Women’s Dan grade 1st place, and

place self-propelled, self-contained, self-reliant. This satisfaction in personal

Team competition 2nd place. Besides, we also showed great bonds between

achievement builds self-confidence and self-esteem, no matter how modest

each member. Different from other clubs, we are more like a family and we

the trip and the goal may be. The ‘winning’ is primarily an internal thing,

support and take care of each other. You can see our senior members are

rarely celebrated but often shared.

4. In light of the view of “winning”, so success is more esoterically defined in

passing on their competition experience and strategies to the juniors.

5. Training: Wednesday 6.30-8.30pm and Saturday 1.30-6.00pm at SOE gym.

respect of the smiles and chatter in the bus on the way home. We carry no

Anyone can come and have a look if they are interested.

medals or awards or certificates of accomplishment but after every trip,

Leon: 21 024 042 14, or atleonlu8789@gmail.com 21

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

YOUR SPACE HUMBLE LIL HOGAN You’d expect any flat on Hogan to be more accommodating to mould and airborne disease rather than students. These gorgeous girls are breaking this stereotype. Even though it may lack the strong character we see in other flats, they make up for it with their impeccable cleanliness. Who needs personal hygiene when you can just roll around on the carpet and come out 100% cleaner?

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Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

23

89.8 FLETCH, VAUGHAN & MEGAN WEEKDAYS 6 -10AM

ZMONLINE.COM

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D PAINED CLERKS

EXPECTATIONS VS REALITY JOINING A GYM

VITAMIN D

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

What’s more important than starting the day with a healthy breakfast?

EXPECTATIONS

I genuinely don’t know. When I left mother, the first thing I wanted was a

You wake up every morning at 6am with a spring in your step and brand

balanced breakfast at Café L’Hooq. A young woman greeted me as I walked

new Nike frees on your feet, rearing to go. You mix your protein shake and

through the back door. She spoke a Burgundian French, her vowels soft as her

pre-workout that you don’t regret spending heinous amounts of money on

hips or the abscess on her back. She wore black, a cup of standard flour — or

and head to the gym, clad in your head-to-toe Adidas activewear, ready to

was it her own breast milk, dehydrated for her foetus jars on the shelves? —

be active as fuuuuuck. Your workout playlist is on point and gets you just the

wiped across her forehead. I met her glass eye.

right amount of amped. You know exactly what to do with all the machines

When I made it to my seat I met her other eye, lazy as it was it took time to get to me. I was the only one there. She filled my coffee cup, asked in broken Deutsche if I knew the way to the train station. I told her I didn’t, but in what language I couldn’t say. Nor could she. She returned to her stand, salt tears weeping a track through her dusty face, and began polishing the bench with all the fury of a wet kitten in a sunshower.

and not once do you look like a fool. Your workout is perfectly planned so you always know exactly what you’re doing and when you post progress pics and videos of yourself lifting on Insta you get tonnes of likes and no one finds them super annoying. You never miss a workout and even on your rest days you run the Hakarimatas because sleep is for the weak and you have goals to meet and obnoxious motivational quotes to post #bootygains #fitspo

Having watched a lot of YouTube I knew a thing or two about what women want. I tapped into my knowledge of beauty routines and strode up to her,

REALITY

cracked an egg on the bench and painted her face with the beaten chicken

You planned to gym everyday before class but that idea quickly turned into

period. The yellow reflected the sun’s morning wood as it ached from the

every second day and then into once a week and then dissolved entirely.

horizon against the pyjamas of the sky.

So you basically only go now when you watch some inspirational YouTube

I picked her up and hooked her false legs into a hole in the ceiling. Somehow I knew this was her fetish. Before long her breasts had expressed approximately ¾ cup of milk which tumbled, creamy, through her flaming hair. I added enough water to make her pasty, but it was all too much. She pulled me into the industrial fridge and pinned me against the wall, motionless, for at least an hour but possibly overnight.

videos and go on short lived health kicks. Your great idea to sell your soul and go on a contract membership to save money has become a seemingly never-ending spiral of shame and every day you lament the lost gym money you could have been spending at Thirsty Liquor and Mei Wah. You wind up on someone's Snapchat for using a machine completely wrong and looking like a total idiot. And that’s just when you actually find the motivation to go to the gym and do something other than spend 10 minutes on the rowing

When we emerged, she insisted on heating a cast iron griddle and lubricating

machine and awkwardly try and run on the treadmill for longer than two

herself with butter. She slid into the pan, turning herself once her bottom

minutes without dying of lung failure (while the guy next to you who is at

was cooked.

least 70 spends half an hour running on the steepest incline). You feel too

I watched in awe, but before long she was fading under a melt of golden syrup, so I asked her what was more important than starting the day with a healthy

embarrassed to use the squat racks in front of everyone so you have missed every leg day you’ve ever planned.

breakfast. She whispered something to me that will remain with me to my final hours. It was the Edmond’s cookbook pancake recipe.

Word of advice: I did that gym thing once. Don’t even bother, walking up the stairs to the library is exercise enough, right?

If only I could remember it.

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Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

NERD YORK TIMES FANS VS CRITICS: CIVIL WAR

HEIL HOGAN FAMILY BONDING

JARED WOOLRIDGE

LYAM BUCHANAN

Fans or critics, who are right? Do regular old audiences even get a vote? This

There’s really no other way I’d rather start my day than the warm thick release

is the question being asked now, after the release of Suicide Squad, and after

of stagnant mucus, isn’t flu season the best? Skipping lectures becomes guilt

Batman V Superman. Both of these movies were not met with the greatest

free and you become legally obliged to whinge incessantly for a minimum of

response by critics, while the fan base seemed to enjoy them a lot more, and

three weeks. However sadly we’re too old to rely on our parents to tend to

got a bit peeved at the drubbing they were receiving. Warner Bros. itself came

our every beck and call. Instead of becoming self sufficient individuals it’s far

out and insisted that these movies were not for the critics at all, but were

easier to slide into the neverending love and care of your mate’s family.

made for the enjoyment of the fans. So are or aren’t these movies terrible?

First off, I am a fan. I attended both midnight premieres, and fanned all over the place. For me, they aren’t perfect (what is?), but neither film deserves the vitriol it’s receiving from the critics (especially if some critics are going to get basic facts wrong). And while I’m sure not every fan of the subject material loved them either, listing them as some of the worst films ever made just seems like a cheap shot from some critics who don’t seem to want to get what DC has to offer. They don’t have to like it, they’re paid to have their own opinion, but can they not just differentiate what DC does from Marvel?

Again, not all critics hated these movies, but their criticisms do seem to be lacking an actual critique at times, and instead rely on comparisons to Marvel instead, besides the fact that the two studios are doing entirely different things with entirely different characters. But oh well, DC doesn’t have enough laughs, they said. This movie, starring Batman, the broodiest character ever put to page, is just too dark. Iron Man can have feelings and still be funny.

That’s because Iron Man is Iron Man, and Batman is Batman. They’re kind of not the same person.

There are criticisms to be made, don’t get me wrong, but I still love Marvel and DC (it’s possible to love both), and as a fan of the source material, I love the movies. In the end, critics or no, the box office is what decides it anyway. Still, it would help if some critics could open their eyes. These are not the worst movies of all time. Nor are they Marvel movies. They are DC movies, made with DC characters, with general appeal, but also a targeted appeal to those who are already fans. Much like how Bond movies are made, just don’t confuse them for Bourne movies.

For all of you socially challenged individuals, here’s a quick guide to etiquette in regards to being unofficially adopted by multiple families: NANA Never talk shit. Nanas are sentient beings composed of everything that is pure and right in the world. Did you just say something which doesn’t sit perfectly with their opinion? You best sit the fuck down and apologise for your meaningless existence. As soon as you’ve been enlightened by the passive aggressive wisdom which has been graciously bestowed upon you better get started on the nicest most loving cup of tea you’ve ever made.

SIBLINGS This is easily the simplest, don’t sleep with them. Younger brothers should be treated like an upper class slave where you repay them for their services by providing them with alcohol and other substances they’re too young to acquire themselves. Sisters are more or less the same, only difference being that they treat you like an upper class slave yet you’re still obliged to provide them with illicit goods.

MUM There’s an unspoken law that once you’re within a Mum's territory she immediately becomes the best cook you’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter if you prefer different consistencies or if you’re accustomed to something else, you suck it up and appreciate every little sliver of anything you’re provided with.

Never forget that Mums do also enjoy the occasionally cheeky flirt, it revitalises their views on life and makes them love you more than their own children. It’s scientifically proven that every compliment removes up to three wrinkles.

DAD These are simple creatures. A firm handshake and the ability to show interest in the endless stories of their youth is 90% of the job done, if you can remember to never mention anything to his wife you might as well be the child he never had.

27

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

NEW LOCALS GLOBAL SPORTING

SAWIT FOLLOWING THE STARS

SONI SAMRA

NEUM MULIAUMASEALII

Sport is an international term, which is popular worldwide, whether it be

Apprehensiveness and fear of the unknown, ‘may’ have been the feelings of

rugby, cricket, baseball, softball or Kabbadi. There are many other sports

the Pacific Island voyages as they braved the deep blue sea, but they were

known worldwide which are popular amongst everyone. Every country is

definitely my emotions as I began my journey almost 4 years ago to obtain

good at their national sport and this gets expressed through the various

my a Certificate in Social Services and my Bachelor of Applied Social Science

international events that happen every year worldwide. Through these certain

— Social Work, especially being a Pasifika student.

events countries are able to show off their skills and get a chance to be able to represent them and get recognition for it. Some of the events that happen frequently are the Para Olympics, Olympics and the FIFA World Cup. Alongside these events there are the cricket ones which are; the Cricket World Cup, T20 series, one-day series, Women’s World Cup, cricket league and many other events.

My name is Neum Muliaumasealii and I am a New Zealand born Samoan studying at Wintec. I currently sit as the Vice-President of the Student Association of Wintec (SAWIT) and co-represent the Maori and Pasifika students alongside Nima Riini.

Before studying at Wintec I had no desire to acquire a degree of any sort,

For each sport there are specific events that happen every few years or every year. For example; there is the Rugby World Cup that happens every four years, therefore, just like this there are specific events for every sport that happen frequently. For example, there is the Kabbadi World Cup that happens for Kabbadi. Not only does it happen on an international basis but also between certain countries as well. Not only are there events internationally for

especially as I only attended high school to eat my lunch, play sport and chase my future wife. As a Samoan I felt this was the expectation of me and my fellow Pasifika people, and as my chances to make it in the All Blacks were non-existent I knew something had to change. When this journey started I felt quite intimidated as there was only one other Pasifika student in a class of 70, so we naturally joined forces to take on the world.

every sport, there are also events that happen nationally for talent that is still

One thing that has been quite hard to adapt to is asking for help. If you know

yet to be recognised on an international level.

many Pasifika males, we don’t tend to ask for help. For example, if the ship

Playing sport is an amazing experience however, sitting with your friends and family and enjoying watching is just as good. From experience, I know it is an amazing time just sitting with a group of friends or family around the TV and enjoying a game of rugby or a game of cricket. Not only do you get to watch the game in a relaxed manner but you’re also able to spend time with

is sinking and you ask if we need help, we’ll smile and say “No thank you, I actually felt like going for a swim”. I think it can be pride, ego and a bit of shyness. With this in mind there have been a few times where I have been swimming in deep water because I failed to ask for help and lucky enough certain help would not let me go under.

your friends and family. As everyone is always busy working or studying it is

Sometimes within the culture of Pasifika families, there is an added weight of

hard. Sports are a good way to stay fit and develop on your personal skills and

passing assignments and getting your degree that comes from your extended

teamwork as it is always required of you to work in a team when you play on

family, those who have passed and even those living in a village in Samoa

an international basis. Overall, international sport is an ever-growing platform

that you haven’t even met. With all this said, it is important to hold strong

where people are able to come from any background and show off their skills

to your support networks, be it family, church, friends or whatever, but most

and talent and get recognised for their country.

importantly have a plan.

Our ancestors followed the stars as their map and I encourage everyone to hold your head up like them; through your journey, and keep pushing through, because we are the creators of our future.

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Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK ’N SAVE HEAD CHEF CHOCOLATE SELF-SAUCING PUDDING INGREDIENTS 1 cup of white sugar

Topping

2 Tbs cocoa

1 cup of brown sugar

100g butter, melted

½ white sugar

1 ⅓ cups of flour

4 Tbs cocoa powder

4 tsp baking powder

2 cups of boiling water

¼ tsp salt ⅔ cups of milk 1 tsp vanilla

DIRECTIONS 1. Throw white sugar, cocoa and melted butter together to form a nice thick paste.

2. Add flour, baking powder and salt. Mix it together lovingly.

3. Add milk, while mixing, then finally add some vanilla essence, you should have a nice thick mixture.

4. Grease a baking dish (preferably with high sides), drop in the mixture and smooth the top with the back of a spoon.

5. For the sauce, mix together brown sugar, white sugar and cocoa into a fine crumbly powder.

6. Sprinkle over batter in baking dish evenly.

7. Pour hot water onto back of spoon over mixture.

8. Put the dish into preheated oven (180°C) and bake for 40 mins.

9. During baking the whole thing flips over to leave a nice cake top with a hot chocolate sauce beneath.

10. Let cool and serve with vanilla icecream or whipped cream.

29

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

He is ‘hilarious sometimes’ (aren’t all accountants meant to be boring?) He enjoys the gym, reading, sports, games, coffee and ‘anything fun really’. She described herself recently single and a solid 7/10 with the right lighting and makeup. She’s also a self confessed cat-lover. Are the gym-bunny and the cat-lady a match made in heaven? Survey says...

HE SAID

SHE SAID

So I rocked up to the bar one minute early to find her already waiting.

I arrived about 10 minutes early and I was nervous as hell, for all

We grabbed a couple of crisp Coronas and started chatting. The

I knew he could be a serial killer… As I waited for his arrival I

conversation flowed well and we talked about all sorts of things,

ordered a Corona and started over thinking every possible thing

and before I knew it the waitress was ready to take our order. I

that could go wrong, but when he arrived I quickly knew he was

ordered a pulled pork pizza which was the tits, and she ordered a

harmless and that maybe this wasn’t such a bad decision after

vegetarian salad. The food came out quickly, or it felt like that after

all. We quickly began chatting, getting to know each other over

a couple of beers down, and it was great. I would definitely buy

a few drinks, my only concern being he looked a lot older than I

pizza from them again, the pork was amazeballs covered in cheese

am, which turned out to be correct as we had about a seven year

and saucy goodness. So after the food we continued chatting and

difference in age. I was being a little flirtatious not thinking it

spent the rest of our tab on beer. After that we went to the classic

would get me far, but to my surprise after our meal we headed to

Shenanagins and got some more beers which were going down

a pub and continued drinking there and from there he invited me

an absolute treat. After more beers and a dash of the old charm,

back to his, the story after that is strictly R18 but I had a lot of fun

we decided to head back to my place where we definitely did not

and a lot of pleasure so thanks Nexus for getting my sex life back

plough multiple times. So now here I am hungover asf trying to

into action!

write this out with a banging head and a someone still asleep in my bed. Overall it was a great night, thanks Nexus and House for the hook-ups!

31

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

HOROSCOPES

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we’re all adults here, URANUS ;)

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AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

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No-one sent help last semester! I’m still trapped in the

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this week, don’t worry you’ll be rewarded for it later on.

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CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19) As the weather reaches peak low temperatures this month, Uranus is in your orbit and — I’m sorry, I know

horoscope factory, and quickly running out of time…

SOS. PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

Orgies tend to work like that.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)

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calling to you this week, so dive in and join them for a

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swim, you beautiful mermaid.

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If you’re still playing that bloody game that the Editor won’t let me mention, we no longer recommend that you reconsider your life choices; it’s too late, you’re a lost cause.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20) The moon is bright, and the koi carp in the uni lake are

for a minute, as you order another $5 pizza and click yes to “are you still watching this?”

F

U

Sprigs

Volleyball

Richie

Header

Bald

Brittany

Pain

Slamdunk

Nike

Jockstrap

Fifa

Rowers

release of the latest, and last Harry Potter book. Potter

Maccas

Suffering

Soccermum

League

stars who share your sign? Dudley Dursley, and Dobby.

Summer

Money

Referee

Tracksuit

Olympics

Rio

Doping

Snorkel

Awards

Beersies

Adidas

Stains

Steroids

Counterfeit

Cauliflower

Gambling

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22) The stars shine brightly for you this month, with the

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22) If your greatest brainwave idea to date is to copy ‘Stolen’ jewellery, and re-brand it ‘Raxxed’, uni might not be the place for you. You’ll do well in the hood, though.

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22) Crashed out on your STMG test? Don’t worry, things will pick up over the semester for you. Don’t even know what STMG stands for yet? Yeah, you’re fucked.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22) Libras are kind and gentle, loving and harmonious. Did that boost your ego? Typical Libra, ‘cause you’re also known to be selfish and superficial.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21) Your star charts say to look out for a surprise from the universe. We think that’s a hint that Universal Pictures are going to remake something crazy, like The Grinch.

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21) If you’re feeling strapped for cash this week, the stars suggest you take financial advice from the Uni; start charging people money they don’t have, for things that come free.

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SIMPLE PUZZLES 4 SIMPLE PEOPLE

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

SUDOKU 6

3 9

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MEDIUM

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HARD

CODE CRACKER

a) The Palk Strait separates which two Asian countries? b) Which five letter Greek root means 'green' or 'pale green'?

23 25

3

22 15

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26 16

15

4 20

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7

c) Where, in song, do "they say the neon lights are bright"?

15

d) Messala is the bad guy in which epic Oscar winning film? e) Who does Alfred Pennyworth work for?

13

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WORD TWIST

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15

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19

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horizontally, vertically or 6

diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

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ANSWERS

Code Cracker

N

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22

1.L 2.C 3.U 4.F 5.V 6.T

T

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Trivial

L

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7.R 8.I 9.Y 10.P 11.M 12.O

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The letters must touch

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a) India and Sri Lanka

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13.S 14.B 15.N 16.E 17.X

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b) Chlor

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make from these letters?

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18.Q 19.W 20.D 21.Z 22.A

O

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7

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c) On Broadway

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1

23.J 24.H 25.K 26.G

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d) Ben Hur

R

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e) Batman (Bruce Wayne)

P

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How many words can you

16

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33

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C. WAshing maChine*

The average shower sucks about 14 litres of hot water every minute.

A 20 minute shower uses 280 L of hot water. This is the same as one and a half baths! If five flatmates cut their shower time in half you could save about $122 each month in power. The silver bullet for the hot water vampire is short showers, great for water saving, great for flat shower queues and great for saving money.

You can put the washing machine monster on a diet and save a load of water and some money off your power bill too!

• Cut its comfort, choose the cool cycle and save about $100 a year • Wait for a full load before feeding the monster • Eco cycle is like paleo for this beast, keep it trim *based on 5 loads/week

ANSWERS:

a. Shower

B. TOILET

C. wAshing mAchinE

B. TOILET

a. Shower

wAshing C. mA chinE