Nexus 2017 Issue 02

NEXUS BLIND DATE — Page 40

INTERVIEW WITH VICE-CHANCELLOR NEIL QUIGLEY — Page 25

PAPERING OVER THE CRACKS: TRANSGENDER BATHROOM RIGHTS — Page 11

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01. Editorial 04. Uni News 05. News 08. Sports 10. FOMO 11. Papering over the Cracks...

Trangender Bathroom Rights 16. Reviews 17. Humble Abodes 21. Centrefold

23. Entertainment 25. Full Exposure 30. Auteur House 32. Columns 38. Snapped 40. Blind Date 41. Puzzles CO-EDITORS

CONTRIBUTORS

Bronwyn Laundry

Sarah Hyde

Lyam Buchanan

Onyx Lily

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

Alexander Nebesky

DESIGN

Cameron McRobie

Emily Reid Vincent Owen

Tom Collopy

design@nexusmag.co.nz

Yantie Shamsul Richard Swainson

DEPUTY EDITOR

Jean Balchin

Jennie-Louise Kendrick

Uncle Yam

jen@nexusmag.co.nz

Alessandra Tane Hana-Te Kowhai Treadaway Ohia

MANAGING EDITOR

Jamie Miller

James Raffan

Lola Dupree

james@nexusmag.co.nz

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Editorial — Pānui Ētita

Let’s talk about giving a fuck. apathy: noun 1. lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern.

It seems that the cool thing amongst young people is apathy. Apathy towards politics, apathy towards university, apathy towards life.

Maybe it’s the fact we were dweebs in high school, but it always seemed to us that the kids who had carefully crafted an image of not caring, were the ones people cared about.

Along with the majority of our peers, we’ve reached the point in our lives where it’s recognised that we’re in our prime. Yet, we’re all too insecure and self-obsessed to have our own views and stand for something bigger than whatever bandwagon activism is making the rounds on social media.

It’s common to hear the phrase “PC gone mad” but there’s a huge difference between having formed opinions and being an asshole.

Having an unpopular opinion doesn’t mean it’s wrong, but your expression of that opinion can certainly ostracize you from your fellow human beings.

It’s a bandwagon in itself to tell people to “not get so offended about everything” and the cycle of apathy is the most dangerous of all.

This goes beyond just social and political issues, we see this in friend01

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Pānui Ētita — Editorial

NEXUS MAGAZINE

ships. Your twenties are hard, and supporting and empathising with your friends is something that we should all be doing more of.

We’re not saying you should give a fuck about what people think of you, but maybe for once you should give a fuck about thinking about others.

It’s an election year, and instead of letting Baby Boomers dictate what our future is going to look like because “politics suck and voting’s for old people”, read some stuff, decide who you hate the least and have a say. It’s only yourself you’re fucking over in the long run.

As cliche as it is, why should you listen to us? We’re no better than each other. But at least we get paid minimum wage to talk shit.

— Lyam, Bron and Jen* * our new deputy, she’s cool.

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ST U D E N TS

U N I T E D

united@wsu.org.nz Join Today

Pitopito Korero — Uni News

NEXUS MAGAZINE

UNI NEWS Take the bus!

Make yourself stand out with ‘MyCareer’

Waikato uni students and staff now pay just $1.70 per bus trip in Hamilton

MyCareer is our new online careers system that will be your go-to place to

and also get 30% off regional fares. Just show your student ID and BUSIT

sharpen up your CV, register for workshops and enhance your employability. For

card to the bus driver to claim your discount. Check out waikato.ac.nz/go/

more information or to log onto MyCareer visit waikato.ac.nz/students/careers.

unibus for more information.

BUSIT cards and top ups available

Last chance to change your papers This is the last week to change your papers for A Semester classes. If you

BUSIT cards and top ups are now available for purchase from the ticket

need a hand with your paper choices or have any questions, drop in to see

machine on level 2 of the Student Centre. Please note that the machine

our friendly team at the Student Centre and they can help get everything

is EFTPOS only. Until March 10, you can also buy a BUSIT card from the

sorted.

Student Centre for only $10 and receive a $10 free credit instead of the usual $15 price.

Don’t take the risk, pay for parking Don’t risk getting clamped or charged for unpaid parking on the Hamilton

Sort your gym membership UniRec is offering a range of great value student memberships in 2017, including the popular A+B Semester membership, which is only on offer until 31 March. Visit UniRec on campus or go to unirec.co.nz

campus. Parking costs $2 a day, or as little as $1.20 a day if paying for a week. For an even cheaper option, the $60 A Semester student concessions are available to purchase from the parking machines.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

News — Pitopito Korero

Muddy Waters: lowering standards for swimmable rivers Bronwyn Laundry DISCLAIMER: NEXUS ALWAYS ATTEMPTS TO REMAIN AS IMPARTIAL AS POSSIBLE WHEN WRITING NEWS, THIS HOWEVER, IS DIFFICULT WHEN ONE OF OUR CO-EDITORS GOES TO THE VILLAGE GREEN TO GET QUOTES FROM POLITICIANS AND WINDS UP MESSAGING THE NEXUS NEWS TEAM WITH “BREAKING NEWS. JAMES SHAW IS A TOTAL DILF”. AS A RESULT, WE HOPE THIS WON’T AFFECT THE CREDIBILITY OF OUR STORY. Critics, including Forest and Bird, have condemned proposed new river standards, claiming they increase people’s chances of getting sick by five times.

National MPs Dr Nick Smith and Nathan Guy recently released a strategy to make 90% of New Zealand’s rivers “swimmable” by 2040. This goal was released in line with new standards for water quality which opposition state do very little to address the standard of water cleanliness except in the worst rivers.

We spoke to three politicians on campus for Clubs Day and asked them what their thoughts were on the issue of swimmable rivers and the new water quality standards.

Local National MP for Hamilton East and proud wearer of bucket hats, David Bennett, defended the new standards. “We’re looking at increasing river quality and everyone wants that because people want to be able to access and use our rivers because they’re a treasure to our whole country.”

“So, the new standards that have come out have put a test in there to get them to be that swimmable level or percentage for rivers .”

“There are some which have got a lot of work to be done on them. And then there’s others such as the Waikato that are in that process, you know, through what you said about the regional plan going ahead and their process around increasing water quality here and then there’s some around the coun-

Labour candidate for Hamilton East Jamie Strange, shared echoed those sentiments, stating that “Certainly water quality is a huge issue, and Labour is absolutely committed to doing something about it.”

try that probably just need a few marginal increases to get them up to that

“The whole idea that setting a standard, you know, for rivers to be wadeable

level so it’s really different depending on each river and their current statuses.”

and maybe one or two to be swimmable, it’s such a low bar. And so we need

Unsurprisingly this was not a view shared by Green Party co-leader James Shaw.

“So the new set of standards that Nick Smith released last week basically lowered the standard for what is swimmable, so a level of pollution that we currently say is only safe for wading or boating is now classified as swimmable, right?” said Shaw.

“We believe that is unacceptable because that is the equivalent of one in 20 people getting sick, and as I keep saying if you went to a restaurant and one in 20 people were throwing up on the table you probably wouldn’t eat there, right?”

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to raise the bar higher absolutely, and a Labour/Green government would absolutely be 100% committed to that.”

We here at Nexus personally can’t wait for the day that the University Lake is deemed swimmable and we can frolic with the ducks.

Pitopito Korero — News

NEXUS MAGAZINE

A new vibe The Waikato Students’ Union is moving into the 21st Century, actually it is

When asked if he felt the automation was just the first step to our robot

more like the 20th century as the use of computers and tablets is about to

overlords running the WSU and Nexus he was even more certain in his reply.

become a core part of how they do business thanks to a new piece of software called Campus Vibe.

“The last two weeks have shown us two things. Firstly, that the directors and staff of the WSU are awesome at engaging with students. Secondly, there

Campus Vibe will eventually serve almost as a campus management and so-

will always be a place for professional human oversight at the WSU. Devolv-

cial media tool with news feeds, clubs and society forums, flatmates wanted,

ing too much responsibility to the ‘bots could result in silly faux pas such as

ride shares, textbook exchanges, and even feeds for every individual class

letting white supremacist groups operate on campus - and then before you

rep sorted by paper code.

know it you’re Auckland University.”

“This actually started with last year’s President, Indula. It took us about

Campus Vibe was heavily hinted at last year when the WSU unveiled its

eight months of due diligence to put it all together into a package that will

strategic and annual plans and when it’s released will tick a number of boxes

be effective and affordable.” said President William Lewis.

on the Board’s work plan.

“Initially we were excited about the application for our clubs; it would allow clubs to create their own events, put together posters, fill out all their affiliation and grant forms and even manage bookings for gear and rooms online, but then we found out it could do more.”

Starting “this semester” students should be able to login using their existing student logins and have access to a thriving community where they can subscribe to feeds and topics they are interested in, ask WSU board members direct questions” William was however clear on what he describes as easily the best feature Campus Vibe has to offer “It frees up a lot of our really talented people from doing paperwork and allows them to get out and actually engage with students, and clubs”

Lawrenson shows One Way Door Policy the door Lyam Buchanan Nightlife in the Hamilton CBD has been at the forefront of the media recently after a violent series of brawls broke out two weeks ago. To top it off, local councillors are backing a resurging proposal by the DHB and the Police to introduce a one way door policy after 2am.

Nexus decided to have a brief chat to John Lawrenson about his view that this potential scheme wouldn’t prevent another violent event and would only make the lives of bar staff, police and intoxicated punters more difficult.

“This will be another nail in the coffin of the dying central city and sadly it will do nothing to reduce alcohol related harm in Hamilton. It will only increase it.” he said.

no one is going to be checking for IDs at house parties.”

“Unfortunately the HCC are being sold a lemon by a couple of career alcohol opponents within the Police and the DHB who are trying to get a Hamilton one way door on their list of achievements for their CVs.” “Neither of these individuals has any concern for the financial viability of the central city, the effect on the safety and employment of its hundreds of hospitality staff or the right of the 99% of people who go to town and cause no problems to just enjoy themselves on a Saturday night.”

“I would suggest that neither those two individuals, or any councillors for that matter, have even been in town between 2am and 3am in the last 12

“In the short term we will see an increase in assaults on door staff, members

months and consequently have almost no idea what is actually going on at

of the public and police as frustrated customers, many of whom will be vis-

that time.”

itors to the city, are denied entry to venues that their friends, colleagues or partners are still inside.”

For our part we don’t believe that creating a one way door policy will solve the problem of binge drinking, with students preloading on cheap supermar-

“In the long term we will see an increase in uncontrolled parties in the sub-

ket alcohol before hovering around town and causing issues for hospitality

urbs, underage drinking, violence, noise complaints, damage to property and

staff and the emergency services.

stretched police resources as house parties replace nightclubs as the Saturday night go to for the 18-25 market. The 15-17 market likely to join them as 06

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Not News — Aka Kūmara

TL;LR Too Long : Lyam Read. Is our way of making sure you get the information you need without needing to read ‘Oldies getting stoked about big ol’ trees.’

‘Space dudes test sweet new experimental hallucinogen.’

— Pat and Denise Donnelly of Tamahere win Stuff Garden of The Week with

— SpaceX said it will fly two people to the moon next year, a feat not at-

their beautiful rural garden featuring crisply cut hedges, topiary and sweep-

tempted since NASA's Apollo heyday close to half a century ago.

ing lawns.

‘Local mum gets the chance to fuck something up that isn’t her children’s future.’

— Brave mum rushes to help when weapon-wielding men bash her neighbour.

‘Aussies continue to get proper fucking loose.’

— Bahamas’ swimming pigs found dead ‘after tourists give them rum.’

‘Not the best.’

— Weather in Kaikoura on the 9th of March with a high of 17°C and an over-

‘Irrelevant plebeian gets riled.’

night low of 10°C, with showers and light winds easing throughout the day.

— The Hollywood A-listers seated in the front row of the Academy Awards were just as stunned as viewers at home when it was revealed that the Best Picture award had accidentally been given to the makers of La La Land.

‘Baked goods cause classic rumbles for the boys.’

— Police were called to break up a fight on a train as rowdy passengers repeatedly placed bagels on other travellers' heads.

WTF: WAIKATO TIMES FOCUS Evaluating the headlines on waikatotimes.co.nz Ant infestation stops Taupo's town clock

A Love Letter To Palmerston North (1)

We had a crab infestation at the Bar101 Foam Party but that didn’t make the

We’re guessing it’s written in crayon.

news because we have more things going on than a clock and a lake.

Civilised fun at Hamilton Gardens for Katherine Mansfield Garden Party: Examples of civilised Mansfield fun include: Bisexuality, Croissants, over use of exposition, an iron lung.

A Love Letter To Palmerston North (2) Considering the inbreeding it was probably written by Palmerston North.

A Love Letter To Palmerston North (3) Dear Palmerston North, A doctor has advised me to speak to everyone I have had sexual contact with…

Time to Haggle For Houses Does that include my 92 Corolla that me and my 3 “flatmates” live in?

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Hākinakina — Sports

NEXUS MAGAZINE

two rounds until Kieran is eligible in Round 3 so it will be exciting to see how he goes in the number 6 jersey as well.

The return of Roger Tuivasa-Sheck is another massive boost for the Warriors.

He has been handed the captaincy by Stephen Kearney which I think is fantastic as he was part of the Roosters leadership group and learnt from one of the best fullback/captains to ever play the game in Anthony Minichiello.

This shows me that Kearney is building for the future and now was the right time to make Roger captain while he still has a wealth of experience around him to help him transition into the role. His return also provides the Warriors with a genuine threat from the back, we all know what he is capable of with open space in front of him so I think more often than not he will be putting the Warriors on the front foot of sets when returning the football.

Speaking of building for the future, I think that we will see an increased role for some of the younger players at the club. Players like Sam Lisone and Albert Vete should see increased minutes at the start of the season and Bunty Afoa will look to cement his place in the Warriors 17 possibly even earning a starting role during the season. I think this is the right move as many experienced players especially in the forwards are off contract at the

SPORTS NRL: Footy league or booty league?

Tom Collopy

end of this season.

There seems to be a massive buzz around the club at the moment and players seem to be enjoying the new environment under Stephen Kearney. I think the Warriors will finish anywhere between 5th and 8th following a much improved season. What I’m hoping to see from the team this season is an increased defensive cohesiveness, an elimination of silly errors from their game through improved focus and a multi-dimensional offense by using both halves on a more regular basis, having Isaac Luke run the ball from dummy half more, having Roger injecting himself into the line and increasing the number of offloads by the forwards.

In New Zealand, the majority follow only one team when it comes to the NRL and that is the Warriors. Over the past few years there has been so much promise and anticipation leading into seasons followed by disappointments and what ifs. This year though the Warriors have a real chance to deliver on these expectations and prove their critics wrong.

The Warriors schedule does so many favours for the side and I think it will play a major factor in them being a Top 8 side this season. In the first 12 rounds the Warriors play seven games at home, four away in Australia and one in Dunedin which is attributed as a Bulldogs home game but will feel like the opposite. This will hopefully help the Warriors start the year well, something they have failed to do in the past four seasons. Another bonus in their schedule is that they play the Bulldogs, Panthers and Broncos through the Origin rounds, these are top sides who will be heavily depleted due to the number of Origin representatives their squads have. Last of all, they play the Cowboys, Roosters, Sharks, Rabbitohs and Broncos, who are all top sides, just the once throughout the season whilst getting to play teams like the Dragons and Knights twice.

The signing of a world class number 6 in Kieran Foran is massive for the Warriors. Defensively he’s as tough as old boots and offensively he provides another playmaking and kicking option. It also relieves a lot of pressure off of Shaun Johnson as much of the playmaking and kicking responsibilities fell on his shoulders over the past few seasons. Having two genuine playmakers provides so many more options for the Warriors and I think it is only going to benefit them this season. Ata Hingano will hold down the fort for the first

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Sports — Hākinakina

BYC Cameron McRobie Cricket in New Zealand sucks. Thanks to the inconsistent Black Caps, who seem to choke every time we give them the slightest amount of respect, cricket has all but been the butt of every sports joke since forever. Also fuck eight hours/five days of average looking blokes in white pants and zinc doing jack shit.

There is, however an altered version of this God-awful game that should appease the lads, ladies and anyone else who likes to prolong summer by dedicating every Saturday afternoon to getting absolutely sloshed. Cricket’s careless, boozed-up, drop-out younger brother formerly known as Backyard Cricket (or BYC) has the right balance of competition and social vibes for any die-hard weekend warrior. It appeals to everyone’s inner desire to take the absolute piss out of cricket by smashing back brews in between slinging fast bowls and knocking sixes. BYC is low commitment – it can be played with three to 20+ people, so your flaky mates can show up half an hour late without disrupting play.

The rules of BYC are simple. You have a bat, a ball, the loosest mates you can find and as many drinks as you can responsibly sink in an afternoon (disclaimer: best played in an actual backyard not your driveway or shitty patio because you chose to live in a unit and not a real flat). The aim is to stay in batting as long as possible while your mates bowl to you and field to retrieve

In other words hit ‘em for six every time if you don’t believe in the leave,

the ball. To get out, you can be caught (embarrassing) or alternatively, every

anything but batting sucks. Etiquette in BYC varies with house rules. Playing

time your bat even touches the ball you must put your bat down horizontal

drinking cricket whilst dabbling in a sweet afternoon of BYC goes down a

to where the ball landed. The fielder who has the ball must then roll the ball

treat, every time you crack a new vessel (hopefully with the intention of

to try and hit the bat, if they achieve this then they are now the batter –

uncovering a Willie) you must say “Not out!” immediately after. If one of your

otherwise you remain.

associate alcoholics has the speedy reactions to call “Howzat!?” before you manage this however, your whole vessel must be sunk.

Sledging is straight cussing out your mates to put them off their game, it’s used everywhere in professional and amateur cricket. Call them out on what they did last weekend, their insecurities, their grades – anything that’ll rile them up (also especially easy when you’re on the sauce) and they’ll undoubtedly toss their toys and get out on the next ball. Nobody knows where BYC originated, but getting smashed and playing cricket would bring a tear to Jesse Ryder’s eye. Plus legend has it if you smash a six after finishing the last Waikato in your box, you are granted an instant Hillary Sports Scholarship.

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FO MO Kirikiriroa, oreore ana — FOMO

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Aon Maadi Cup Lake Karapiro gets another healthy dose of trust fund kids as the Maadi Cup hits Cambridge. Starting on the 27th of March, Karapiro becomes the hub of rowing as athletes come to flaunt their perfect bodies and argue about how many hectares they own. If you’re looking for a sugar daddy this is the place the be.

Yukon Era Feel like being a complete indie piece of shit? Come down to Diggers Bar on the 16th of March for Yukon Era’s first tour after ripping it up at Laneway. Attending this gig is compulsory if you constantly bitch about being ‘too alternative for Hamilton’ or how ‘you’d be better suited to Wellington’. This is one of your only opportunities to see better live music than the guy at Shenanigans without being forced to enter Nivara Lounge.

Huntly Half Marathon Stop being useless. You’ve always talked about how this will be the year you finally get fit so just fucking do it.

The 19th of March is the only time going to Huntly won’t make you feel as if you should qualify for subsidised counseling. Leave any meaningful possessions at home and make sure to lock your car.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Feature — Kupu Whakaatu

Papering over the cracks: transgender bathroom rights Onyx Lily

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the last few years, you’ll know that transgender-related issues have been in the news a lot. In many cases that’s a good thing, the media has celebrated the victories for trans* rights. Most recently, however, New Zealand’s Bob McCroskie of [read: Heterosexual, Christian, Nuclear] Family First infamy and the SCROTUS (So-Called Ruler of the United States) Donald Trump have both been part of a chorus asking that fascinating question (if you’re a three-year-old) “but what about going to the toilet?”

not be any of your business whether they have. Oh, wait, no, that’s definitely not your business.

The term cisgender refers to someone whose assigned sex at birth and gender identity are the same. And both trans* and cisgender people can identify as straight, gay, bisexual, asexual or any other label that works for them.

DISCRIMINATION AND RIGHTS While gay and bisexual communities still face persecution and discrimination from Christian Fundamentalists and way-right-wing Conservatives, they are coming closer to having their human rights recognised, at least in the Western world. For people who identify as trans*, however, there is still a long way to go.

It could be argued that New Zealand is a little ahead of the pack. After all, New Zealand Politician Georgina Beyer was the world’s first openly trans* person to be elected to Parliament, in 1999. Seven years later, the Human Rights Commission of New Zealand carried out an inquiry into discrimination experienced by trans* people, and the Crown Law Office stated that trans* people are protected from gender-based discrimination under the Human Rights Act. In another world first, Statistics New Zealand added a third of-

TRANS*101

ficial gender identity category in 2015, allowing New Zealanders to identify

For those who need a Spark Notes intro: biological sex and gender identity

as “gender diverse” rather than having to pick “male” or “female” on official

are different things, and each is better thought of as a spectrum than a

documentation (although it’s not currently mandatory for government organ-

tick box.

isations to include this option). And in lighter news, aspiring trans* model

Transgender (often referred to as trans* to be more broadly inclusive) refers to someone who identifies as a different gender from the one they were

Amy Brosnahan won the right to enter the 2014 “Battle of the Babes” beauty contest after initially being told she wasn’t eligible.

assigned at birth. This could be someone who was assigned male at birth but who identifies as female, or vice versa, or someone who doesn’t solely

SO WHAT’S GOING ON NOW?

identify as either male or female but may prefer the term genderfluid, agen-

Fear monger and human representation of verbal diarrhoea Bob McCroskie

der or genderqueer. They may or may not have had surgery. It may or may

and his gang of merry god-botherers recently decided to launch a New Zea-

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Kupu Whakaatu — Feature

NEXUS MAGAZINE

land version of an American website called “Ask me first”. They are using

male is being prevented from using male bathrooms – how can it be consid-

this perform to spew an unbalanced and ill-informed collection of videos of

ered anything else?

people who are against allowing “men” (by which they mean trans* women) to enter women’s bathrooms etc, supposedly to keep women “safe”. Unfortunately, one of the videos was picked up by the New Zealand Herald, and published as if it were fact. The subject of the video, going by “Laura” claims that her all-girls’ school allowed a “guy” to enrol and then allowed that “guy” to use the girl’s toilet. Throughout the video, a faceless “guy” dressed in adolescent male sports clothing, is seen entering the girl’s bathroom after Laura, and pushing on the locked door of the cubicle she has just entered.

Laura’s mother repeats that girls and men are built differently and girls need protection. And Laura offers that strawman argument brought out repeatedly by anti-trans* activists “what if some guy pretends to be trans* to get access to the women’s bathroom?”

Putting aside the fact that Laura and her mother both misgendered the student in question throughout the video, and ignoring the blatant emotional manipulation used in the video imagery - let’s interrogate that last argument a little more deeply.

SO WHAT CAN I DO? Most people who have a problem with trans* people don’t actually know any.

They are usually people who find it hard to cope with anything they perceive as unusual or different from themselves. Being at university and learning to think critically is a great start – challenging your own preconceptions and biases and start to think outside of the bubble you were probably raised in.

Find the opportunity to get to know people who are different from yourself, whether in terms of gender identity, ethnicity, religion, or whatever, and make yourself try to think about the world from their point of view. Empathy will take you a long way in life.

More specifically, if you hear people making jokes or generalisations about trans* people, challenge them. Educate yourself about trans* issues so you can become an effective ally. When you realise that trans* people are drastically overrepresented in statistics for suicide, self-harm and depression, not because of who they are but because of how society treats them, those “jokes” don’t seem so funny.

WHAT IF A MAN PRETENDS TO BE TRANS* TO GET ACCESS TO A WOMEN’S BATHROOM SO HE CAN ATTACK WOMEN? Firstly, let’s get some quantitative data for all you maths and stats gurus.

As Lexie Matheson, Academic Equity Leader at AUT reports, there has never been a single case ever, anywhere in the world of an assault by a trans* person in a bathroom that matches their gender.

That’s zero. Nought. Nada.

If a trans* person is in the same bathroom as you; a) you probably won’t even know and b) they are there for the same reason you are – to use the bathroom and

The University of Waikato has a Rainbow Staff-Student Alliance; people who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, their friends, and supporters.

They work together to make this campus a safe and inclusive place to work and study. The Rainbow Alliance has recently been campaigning to have more gender-neutral or gender-inclusive bathroom and changing room options on campus – adding your voice can help to make this happen. You can subscribe to the mailing list to get updates on meetings and events here: https://list.waikato.ac.nz/mailman/listinfo/lgbtiq_staffstudents. Or join UniQ (Waikato's student group for those who don’t identify as straight and/or cisgender) on Facebook: facebook.com/UniQWaikato.

maybe having a quick glimpse in the mirror to make sure their lunch of chips

And if you, like Laura, thinks that it’s unfair that “no-one asked me”, I’ve got

with butter chicken sauce from Namaste isn’t all over their face.

only one thing to say to you: someone else’s human rights aren’t yours to

You wanna take a guess as to who is more at risk of assault in a bathroom?

decide, sunshine, so build yourself a bridge and get over it.

That’s right, a trans* person who is forced to use a bathroom that doesn’t match their gender identity.

Secondly, and pay close attention, because this is complex stuff. If a cisgender man wants to assault a woman in the women’s bathrooms, he doesn’t

SOME USEFUL RESOURCES: The GenderBread Person: http://itspronouncedmetrosexual.com/2015/03/the-genderbread-person-v3/

actually need to pretend to be trans* to get in there. He can just walk on

Rainbow Youth:

in. There are no locks, no DNA tests for entry - he doesn’t have to answer

https://www.ry.org.nz/

a Cosmo quiz about GHDs or foundation (which, btw, as a cisgender female I would totally fail). He’s not going to be magnetically repelled by the sight of a stick figure in a dress (or cape, depending on your interpretation) – he can just walk in.

HRC Inquiry: https://www.hrc.co.nz/your-rights/social-equality/our-work/inquiry-discrimination-experienced-transgender-people/

WHAT’S OLD DRUMPF UP TO THEN? The Orange Nitwit is clearly the kind of “leader” that Bob McCroskie aspires to see in New Zealand, as he (SCROTUS) has decided to roll back the protections Obama put in place for trans* high school students in the US. Rights such as being able to use the bathrooms that match their gender identity.

Although Trump claims to support LGBT rights, he has consistently demonstrated his ability to contradict himself so it’s not really surprising (although still infuriating). Even if a trans* student has had a new birth certificate issued to match their gender identity, they can still be barred from using the bathroom that matches. Trump’s administration claims that trans* students aren’t covered under protections from discrimination based on sex. But if a

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Poroporoaki — Tribute

NEXUS MAGAZINE

In Memory of a Martyr, Amzar Yantie Shamsul “Before death takes away what you are given, give away what is there to give.” — Rumi Last weekend a student from the University of Waikato, Abdul Azim Amzar Bin Azmi sadly passed away. Amzar was an international student from Malaysia who started studying at Waikato in 2016. He was studying for a Bachelor of Engineering with Honours in Mechanical Engineering.

I personally knew Amzar and in all honesty, Amzar was a walking example of a respectable man who was also intelligent, funny, kind, caring and a devout Muslim. Countless people have vouched for how helpful he was as he would never hesitate to lend a hand and how he was just a really great guy in general.

It was very shocking to hear of his passing. He had only returned to New Zealand from Malaysia for less than a week. One minute I was watching his Instagram story, doing what he loved most; cycling, exploring, videoing and taking pictures and then the next minute, I heard the news.

Nonetheless, in Islam, the way he died made him a shahid, also known as a martyr. And to have died as a martyr is very honourable. This showed how much of a special, righteous and good man he was and that he must have done many good deeds. Amzar had a very sincere heart and an amazing smile in which his kindness would always shine.

It is a very upsetting time, especially for the small group of Malay students here at the University of Waikato, as we are like a close-knit family; always together and always there for one another. To have lost one of our members feels like we have lost a part of ourselves.

We will dearly miss you Amzar, however, God loves you more and that is why he asked for you back. Although you have passed so young, you will always be remembered for the good character you possessed and the good things you have done and achieved.

May God forgive you and grant you the highest level of heaven and give patience as well as peace to your family and friends. Al-Fatihah. Ameen. And for all you readers, please give send them your thoughts or prayers as well.

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Arotakenga — Reviews

NEXUS MAGAZINE

The Great Wall, starring Mark Wahlberg or something, centres around a white guy in China fighting giant CGI monsters- hordes of ‘em.

The plot is predictable, nobody in the cinema gave a shit about the characters, and the monster design was derivative. That being said, the movie does look pretty sweet and the action sequences are frequent and engaging enough to at least hold the story together.

The costuming, bright blue and red body armour, is jarring at first, but eventually the senselessness of the whole affair dulls your brain and you stop being concerned about the colour palette.

The major problem I had with the film was that I could have done a better job of defending the Great Wall

Film Arotakenga Kiriata

from monsters, because every time you as an audience member think the heroes might have gotten their act together (they are fighting animals without opposable thumbs or tools after all), the dipshits do some incomprehensibly stupid gimmicky bullshit that looks neat but makes no fucking sense. I understand the willing suspension of disbelief, but some methods of defending against a siege employed by these jerks

The Great Wall Alexander Nebesky

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

are utterly baffling.

But there was one beautiful sequence with some lanterns and drums, so that was neat.

Don’t see this movie, though it’s not the worst thing you could watch in an evening, there are better films about white guys in Asia - The Last Samurai (2003), and Shogun (1980).

After a rowdy O-Week of club bangers, dabbing, and cataclysmic drops, it was a refreshing change of pace to experience some good old-fashioned organic music made by people who play instruments.

Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band delivered just that on Saturday night, and although it was a rocky start, ultimately the audience was treated to a grand evening of hard-working, blue-collar rock and roll masterpieces.

Opening with Darlington County, the shittiest track on Born in the USA (1984), I couldn't help but groan and apologise to my compatriots for joking that the song would be in the set. It never needs to be on the setlist.

It wasn’t the last dud on the setlist, but thankfully we got all the duds in one neat little package at the beginning of the show. Bruce took a little longer than usual to find his pace, so a few classic tracks

Gig Arotakenga Konohete Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band Alexander Nebesky

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

were squandered, a fact that ultimately detracted from the rare treat of seeing Johnny 99 performed in concert, especially given the fact that it was the only offering off Nebraska (1982) to be performed that night.

All that being said, once Bruce found his footing, everything fell into place, and the remaining numbers were exactly the mix and range one wants to see. Alongside the familiar Born to Run, off of the 1975 album of the same name, Dancing in the Dark, off of Born in the USA, and Hungry Heart, from The River (1980), were a few rare gems- Rosalita from The Wild, the Innocent & the E Street Shuffle (1973) and Candy’s Room from Darkness on the Edge of Town (1978).

Where Bruce and the gang really shone however, was during their more restrained numbers, where each of the musicians and Bruce’s voice had space to breathe. Its thrilling to see a balls-to-the-wall performance of Prove it All Night (Darkness on the Edge of Town), but it's even more awe-inspiring to see and hear each perfect note in Christchurch: The Musical- that is, My City in Ruins from The Rising (2002) or American Skin (41 Shots). Sometimes less is more.

Standout Numbers: American Skin (41 Shots), Youngstown, Backstreets, Candy’s Room, Thunder Road, Rosalita (Come Out Tonight), Wrecking Ball All things considered, Bruce is a living Legend, but I’ve seen him perform better.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Humble Abodes — Whakaruruhau

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ABODES

Situated in the upper class townhouses of Greensboro, is a house for the young professional. Five residents, five captains of industry, five leaders waiting to take control on a global scale. These genetically gifted scholars of our generation came together to create the most wholesome of environments. As you can see from the jigsaw these students don’t dabble in unintellectual forms of entertainment, the hair gel resting on the vanity is a clear sign that they don’t have a relaxed approach to their appearance either.

Whakaruruhau — Humble Abodes

NEXUS MAGAZINE

HUMBLE

A stunning portrait of Samantha Hayes sits illuminated, the focal point of the room, a reminder that your dreams can always become a reality. One of the flatmates can even be seen rejuvenating their creative juices, motionless in the form of a cocoon.

A rare opportunity the Nexus team was privileged to witness. Upon leaving this household you feel inspired, the charismatic charm of these soon to be Waikato alumni is infectious. The stunning dynamic of this flat could never be emulated.

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Wheako Tauira — Student Experience

NEXUS MAGAZINE

The Best of ORI2017 Photography by Jamie Miller

20

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Entertainment — Whakangahau

Please Don’t Quote Me "He's completely nutting off in the wrong direction.”

— Hamilton Paws 4 Thought rep on a topic completely unrelated to ejaculation.

"I've never been excited by anything more in my life — and ready."

— Amanda Seyfried is way too keen for the 66th All Breeds Cat Show at Hamilton Gardens.

“I wish I had something bigger and more meaningful to say.”

— Casey Affleck describes the feeling when you’re 200 words into a 2000 word essay.

"I was having a really good boob day.”

— Kendall Jenner doesn’t realise every day is a good boob day when you have boobs.

What’s Hot

What’s Not

• Mid-calf socks

• Ankle socks (apparently)

• A week of post-ORI sobriety

• Failing your WOF

• Sue of Sue’s Cafe fame

• Accidentally buying something expired

Crush of the Week — Justin Trudeau

NTERTAINMEN

NEXUS MAGAZINE

We have some reservations objectifying this absolute DILF of a world leader because he is a respectful, self-iden-

tifying feminist, so that is all we will say on the matter of his looks. That, and his luscious locks are worthy of a Pantene commercial.

Canadian PM Trudeau has been using his status and powers for good ever since he was a dashing young politcian’s

son and humanitarian fighting in charity boxing matches and studying environmental geography. He has chaired the board of philanthropic causes and the chaired the board of many hearts. Including ours.

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Colouring In Before you read our five page interview with Neil Quigley, we thought you should take the time to colour in this pretty picture.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Full Exposure — Mārakerake

Amidst the chaos of Freshers’ Week, our co-editors, Bron and Lyam, had the chance to sit down with our Vice-Chancellor, Waikato famous Harry Potter lookalike, Neil Quigley, and ask him questions on everything from his favourite biscuit to why the fuck are we now paying for Student Health Services.

ALRIGHT TO START IT OFF, HOW WAS YOUR SUMMER? OPEN ANY MEDICAL SCHOOLS? Actually, I did a bit of forensic work on how medical establishments work. I had to have a bit of planned surgery so I spent my Christmas convalescing after that, spent three days in hospital just really checking out how things work on the inside of the medical establishment so I thought that was quite useful.

SO WHAT DOES THE SUMMER LOOK LIKE WITH YOUR FAMILY? IS IT ALL ACCOUNTING TEXTBOOKS AND DOG FIGHTS? I actually never read an accounting textbook in my life you’ll be pleased to hear. It’s interesting that people who haven’t studied finance or economics think that they’re all the same, but of course there is quite a lot of difference there. Summer for us is just like everybody else, family time. I’ve got three children, they are all grown up now more or less. So two in New Zealand at the moment, they came to spend Christmas with us, a daughter who is doing a PHD and she was back in the second week of January having been to a conference in Australia first. Family time, wandering around, we’re not big on beaches, I don’t like sand in my sandwiches and we actually really like Hamilton, as we did Wellington, over Christmas and New Year when it’s really quiet. It’s just nice to wander around; everything is so peaceful, so we just do that, wander around, do family things, we have a large labrador dog so we walk lots of places with him.

SO YOU’VE HAD A COUPLE OF WARM UP YEARS AT YE OLD VC GIG, DO YOU RECKON THIS WILL BE THE ONE? I don't think you ever feel completely on top of a job like this, it’s just endlessly challenging and if it ever stopped being that it would be time to retire. Universities are incredible places for different things happening, with so many different faculties, there should be ideas and new things coming along all the time and anything that is at a reasonable level, I would love to be involved with and help push it along. I think with a job like mine, you just never stop feeling like there are things you could be doing to make the place better; if only you had the time to do it.

IN THOSE FIRST FEW YEARS WE NAILED DOWN THE SMOKING BAN, BOUGHT AND DISESTABLISHED ULEISURE AND JUST RECENTLY WE ADDED PAID PARKING. THIS YEAR IT LOOKS LIKE CO-PAY ON THE MED SERVICE. FROM AN INSIDE PERSPECTIVE, IT SEEMS LIKE STUDENTS ARE BEING ASKED TO PAY MORE AND GET LESS, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THAT? For all of those things, we think that students are getting more, so remem-

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Mārakerake — Full Exposure

NEXUS MAGAZINE

ber with paid parking we’ve made a really big investment in bus services,

firm that really understands Tikanga Māori and Mātauranga Māori and at the

so every student who has access to the public bus network around Hamil-

same time architects who are experienced in these sorts of facilities that

ton now gets a big discount on the standard fares which the University is

will work for students, the office space and the catering space and so on.

funding, and we’re running the regional bus network now from five different

So we ran a competition, three firms presented and in the end we’ve chosen

locations, you know about the Te Ara Ki Angitu Program so buses coming

two of them and they’ve agreed to work together on the project, so during

from Te Kuiti, Te Kauwhata, from Coromandel across the Hauraki Plains, from

the course of this year we’ll be going into a sort of design phase with them,

Matamata, from Tokoroa as well, and all those bus services are heavily subsi-

there will be consultation about that once we’ve got a design or some de-

dised. The people who are riding those buses in the past would have had to

signs which we think are feasible. It’ll probably be in the middle of the year

drive a long distance and then park, obviously, so parking charges is about

and then we’d be pushing forward with detailed architectural drawing and

the fact that I don’t want the students who walk, bike and bus to campus to

look to start construction sometime next year, but maybe not until late next

be paying for parking for students who drive. Similarly, medical, we will intro-

year. You mention in some of your questions Victoria, have you been to Vic-

duce or have a small part charge for seeing the doctors and the nurses, but

toria recently? So they have this thing there called the Hub which basically

again remember the Student Health Service until this year was completely

used to be this terrible, especially given the weather in Wellington, terrible

funded from the student levy and from government income and what that

bleak courtyard which sat between the science building and the library and

means is only about 40% of our students actually register to use the health

nobody ever spent any time there except right in the middle of summer be-

service here so about 60% of our students are paying twice for a health ser-

cause it was so awful. So they had this massive construction project to, in

vice because they’re still paying the family GP or whatever it is, but through

effect, close it all in with lots and lots of glass and make it all-weather, and

the student levy that they all have to pay they’re paying for the health ser-

make it a really comfortable place for students, as well as food outlets and

vice here as well so it’s important for the University to have a health service

the bookshop is there. It was a revelation in terms of campus life at Victoria

because things happen on campus and people in an emergency need to see

just having that one place that felt like the heart of the campus where even

a doctor. It’s just about striking that right balance so with a $10 co-payment

in the winter people could go and they were warm and comfortable. So what

to see a doctor or a $5 to see a nurse we think that is a reasonable balance,

we’re thinking about with the Marae and student hub project here is to do

and nobody that hasn’t got $10 will be turned away, they’ll always be seen

something like that, to create a focal point for the campus where, rather

and the co-payment will be worried about later. Hopefully, we’ve struck a

than coming to lectures then going home to their flat or their student resi-

reasonable balance there for all of these things. The University only has so

dence, people will actually want to stay here on the campus and talk to their

much income and it’s about balancing up the investments and where we

friends and work and so on. It will be a really informal place in comparison

have charges. I’m committed to keeping our student levy as low as possible

to the Student Center and the library. So I think it really has the potential to

and our fees are quite low compared to most other universities as well, so

transform campus life here and make the campus feel much more vibrant.

occasionally when we need more services and things we have to introduce a part charge out of the health service. With the part charge we’re also trialling a Saturday morning clinic for students and the WSU ran some focus groups last year which told us that students would quite like to have the option of getting appointments on Saturday rather than having to squeeze it in during the week. That was extra funding we needed to employ GPs to work on weekends. That’s where the money is going.

WITH THE INCREASING TRANSITION TO ONLINE PAPERS COMES LESS HUMAN CONTACT AND A LESS COLLABORATIVE LEARNING EXPERIENCE, WHY ARE SO MANY PAPERS TRANSITIONING ONLINE? Uh, I didn’t actually go look at any evidence relating to that so to be honest one answer is that I’m not sure, because those are decisions that are made at faculty and even school level rather than by me, but I think there are two reasons. One is that we would like students to have the flexibility to take

SO HOW IS MARAE PLEX COMING ALONG?

papers online and at a distance but as I understand it most of the papers

We are moving along now, we’ve just talked to two architectural firms who

that we offer online we also offer face to face, so one of our challenges at

will be jointly working on it for us and the reason why we’re using two firms

the moment is that we’ve got quite a lot of papers where we’re not and I’ve

is that it’s quite a complex project involving the Marae where we need a

recently seen a list of some of the things that we’re offering online and most

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Full Exposure — Mārakerake

of them are offered face to face as well so I don’t see us going to online

SWEET AS. SO GOING BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT THE

delivery as an alternative to face to face but just as a way to give students

HUB IN VICTORIA. THE FACULTIES, STUDENTS, EVERYONE’S KINDA SAYING

more flexibility.

WE’RE TRYING TO BE THE VICTORIA OF THE NORTH.

WELL DO YOU THINK THAT THE FUTURE OF UNIVERSITY EDUCATION COULD BE SIMILAR TO THE SELF-SERVICE CHECKOUT? DO YOU THINK THAT EVENTUALLY IT WILL GO TO MORE ONLINE? I’m not sure that it will, the challenge for the staff here is to think about the way students learn now and the way to use all the technology that students have available to them that they just didn’t have when I was an undergraduate but human beings like contact with other human beings and especially when you’re 18. That’s really an important part of the student experience so there’s been talk for quite a long time about how the new digital technology could drive learning experiences into purely online things and of course people do acquire a lot of information online these days, but if you look around New Zealand now, despite all of that happening, there is no evidence that especially school leaver students are any less interested in a face to face and social environment to learn than when I was an undergraduate, so I don’t really see that changing. Some of the things we do will change but people need to get together. I actually liked your question, I always use the supermarket where there’s a person, but then I’m old so I just like to talk to people rather than talk to a machine, personally.

WE READ SOME ARTICLES FROM OTAGO ABOUT THE PROPOSED WAIKATO MEDICAL SCHOOL AND HOW IT MAY INCONVENIENCE THE EXISTING MED SCHOOLS, WHY DO YOU THINK NEW ZEALAND NEEDS A THIRD MED SCHOOL? I was going to make a suggestion about that. How about we pick up the medical school conversation in a separate conversation and article, because there’s just enough of it. So I’d be more than happy to talk to you about it. It’s just that if you start me on the medical school, because I’ve been rehearsing it so much in so many contexts, you know. That would be my suggestion, if you are willing, is another separate talk on the medical school stuff, and I could give you a sort of executive summary that we wrote as background for you to have a look at and can have some questions on that. Hopefully, it

Well you know, um, I didn’t know much about the University of Waikato when I came here, but I really like it here, and part of what’s to like about it is that it’s so different from Victoria in lots of really positive ways. So, you wouldn’t want this place to become like Victoria, and in the tertiary system, I think people have been thinking more about strategy and Victoria’s strategy is really different from the strategy that we are thinking about here. So, Victoria is very focused on the public sector in Wellington and government and so on. So I understand that world having being in Wellington a long time. But I’m quite pleased to be here and away from it as well. So I wouldn’t want to see us go down that path. The thing that Victoria has going for it, in that I have talked about to people here, is that the culture there, particularly among the academic staff, is very strong and very focused on aspiration. So they have a lot of really high performing academics and there is a real sense of buzz and enthusiasm about the place in a purely academic sense. So I think there are some parts in this university where we sort of lack that, and we need a bit of rejuvenation. So, people may say, when I challenge them about the things that we’re doing now well ‘you just want it to be like Victoria’ but actually really what I’m saying is I just want a stronger sense of aspiration to be better and that everybody shares that, and in many parts of the University people do share it but not all parts yet so we’ll get there.

BUT YOU’RE NOT GONNA MAKE NEXUS SOUND MORE LIKE SALIENT? I hope not. Salient is the most scurrilous rag that ever disgraced the Earth, so I wouldn't want you to go there no. I have, as you imagine many years of experience with Salient, so I probably know more about it than you do and no no. I’ve been very impressed by Nexus, I think it strikes a really good balance with some serious journalism and the stuff that is sort of really out there is never too far out there, and it’s constructive about university things, so I don’t expect you to always agree to the things I say but it’s constructive which I think is really good.

won’t be a waste of your time in a sense that we are still in the hunt politi-

ONE OF THE BIG THINGS THAT’S BEEN ON OUR MINDS RECENTLY IS

cally so we haven’t got a ‘no’ yet, which means we still have a chance to get

WE’VE GOT SHADOWS IN AUCKLAND AND HUNTER LOUNGE IN VICTORIA,

a ‘yes’ on it, and I’m hopeful that something will happen in the next two or

STARTERS IN OTAGO. DO YOU RECKON WE’LL EVENTUALLY HAVE ONE IN

three months. So it would be a good time to do something, but when I saw

HAMILTON?

that question I thought ‘hmm, gosh there’s a lot for me to say there, let’s

I think we will. I talked with Indula about that last year, it was something

pick that up separately.’

Shannon raised with me the year before as well I suppose. So I think we will

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Mārakerake — Full Exposure

NEXUS MAGAZINE

and I think that the new Marae and student hub complex is the answer to that as well, because it will free up some of the retail space, for example at Oranga potentially, which I mean, for a start, Oranga would make a really good student bar. But there are other possibilities as well. So we just started working in conjunction with the Marae, our project, a sort of campus plan, that would do us for the next 20 years, and I’d certainly expect to see a space for a student bar as part of that.

IN LINE WITH COOL CAMPUSES WITH STUDENT BARS, YOU HAVE BEEN ACADEMICALLY AND PROFESSIONALLY ASSOCIATED WITH A NUMBER OF THEM. YOU GOT AN HONORARY PHD IN VIETNAM, IN CANTERBURY YOU GOT YOUR DEGREE...

They didn’t have a student bar there I can assure you. ...HOGWARTS. IF WE’RE STEALING, CAN IT BE FROM ONE OF THEM? The bar in Victoria, the Hunter Lounge is in the old student union building which got renovated and had various things changed around. But yeah those are, you want a facility that works during the day and that staff use as well as students and can be a bar in the evening as well. So yeah, I think there’s lots and lots of good models around and lots of people around the private sector who know how to run good bars and so we can easily find some people to help us think about that option.

YOU’VE PROBABLY HEARD ABOUT OUR NEW PLATFORMS WITH NEXUS, THE TV AND RADIO? Yeah, I think that’s really good. I’d be happy to do some things with that.

WHAT ABOUT NEW SEGMENTS ON THE RADIO? Yeah, either it could be on university stuff or I can educate you a bit on some of the things I know about music. So yeah, that’d be fine.

OKAY, SO WE HAVE TAKEN A FEW SHOTS AT YOUR EXPENSE...

Well you know I’ll go back to some of my experience with Salient you guys have been so polite it’s amazing.

SO HERE’S YOUR CHANCE, TELL US WHAT YOUR VISION IS FOR CAMPUS STAFF, STUDENT AND CULTURAL WELLBEING FOR 2017, AND HOW YOU THINK WE CAN MEASURE SUCCESS. As I said before, what we want to get on campus is a greater sense of aspiration and a stronger sense that students are coming here because they think this place is really going somewhere. At the moment, I think we have a lot of students who come here by default, but we want to build up the reputation

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NEXUS MAGAZINE

Full Exposure — Mārakerake

of the University so that people from all over the country are coming here be-

rettes a day his whole life so I figured he smoked enough for both of us. Yeah,

cause they think it’s a great place. I think we have that proposition, you know,

as an undergraduate student I never smoked.

in the making already and it’s the combination of the way this place feels and the sense of community that you have in a university this size which Auckland can’t replicate, and at the same time, just making sure we have some academic programs which we can say you know, these are the best in the country, these are the reasons for people to come here, no matter what

WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE BISCUIT? AND PLEASE DON’T SAY SQUIGGLES. I don’t much like chocolate biscuits but there’s some that we buy for the VC’s office occasionally. I can’t remember what they’re called. Something with coconut in it anyway.

else they might be thinking about. So, yeah, I’d like, in the future, just to see,

SPIRIT OR BEER OF CHOICE?

this is a place with more buzz. More people around, more people feeling really

It’d be red wine usually. Syrah or Shiraz.

positive about it in every sense and more academic buzz as well.

ALRIGHT, WELL THANK YOU FOR COMING DOWN AND TALKING TO US.

WELL, WE CAN’T LET YOU OFF TOO EASILY, WE’VE JUST GOT A COUPLE

My pleasure, and we’ll make another time to talk about the medical school.

OF QUICK-FIRES. SO WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?

But I think you’ll find there’s enough material to go with that in a separate

Every Christmas, my sons and I watch the Blues Brothers. We know it off

column.

by heart but we still watch it. So, that was the last one I watched actually, I haven’t been to the movies since then.

WHAT’S YOUR IDEAL SUNDAY? I get up late, walk into town and have brunch at Scott’s Epicurean.

THE BEATLES OR THE SMITHS? Who are The Smiths? *SHOCKED LOOKS FROM BOTH EDITORS* Haha I knew you’d like that hahaha. So yeah, I gotta say Beatles.

ARE YOU READING ANYTHING AT THE MOMENT? STILL HISTORY? Yeah, well I’m actually just about to start a new book, which I bought over Christmas but I didn’t quite get to which is on the political economy of China in the past 20 years and how their political system allowed so many people to get rich.

LIVING OR DEAD, WHO WOULD YOU WANT TO HAVE CONVERSATION WITH THE MOST? I didn’t actually think about an answer to that one. Don’t know really. I’ll say Pierre Trudeau, he was a Canadian Prime Minister, and an extraordinary guy who basically created the modern conception of Canada so and he was still a big deal when I was a PhD student in Canada so I learnt quite a bit about him.

WHEN YOU WERE STUDYING WERE YOU EITHER A) A COOL SOCIAL SMOKER, B) A DANGEROUS YET COOL HEAVY SMOKER OR C) JUST A FINANCE STUDENT? Actually none of those. I’ve never smoked and my father smoked 40 ciga-

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AUTEUR HOUSE Aho Whakaari — Auteur House

NEXUS MAGAZINE

The Birth of a Medium Richard Swainson

Film is a young art form. In the 1970s I had a next door neighbour who was

born around the same time. My great grandfather, whom I met a couple of times, would have been 18 years old when the first films were projected to a paying audience. Four years later, in 1899, his eldest daughter was born.

My great aunt Elsie became a dedicated movie buff. She was 17 when she

saw The Birth of a Nation, the first great silent feature, with live orchestral

accompaniment, in a Gisborne theatre. 67 years later we had a conversation about the actress who had the leading role in the film, a woman who was

then still alive and still working. Auntie Elsie didn't like Lillian Gish and she demonstrated the point by doing an impersonation of one of Gish's trademark mannerisms, the wan smile. It was a priceless moment: a piece of physical criticism from a first generation film fan.

The very term "film" is now in a sense dated. Since the digital revolution

very few features are shot on physical film and next to none projected in that manner. The pure theatrical experience is also but one of a multitude of ways that cinema can be enjoyed. I count myself lucky that when I first experienced The Birth of a Nation, 71 years after Elsie did, it was courtesy of a

real film projector, one especially designed to accommodate the lower frame rate. When I last watched it - a century to the day since it premiered - it was on a quality home theatre system.

My business exists to supply films like The Birth of a Nation. Auteur House

is a DVD rental shop, one of only five remaining in Hamilton. As you might imagine, it is a specialist operation. In the era of the illegal download and the digital stream, why continue to cling to an ancient format?

Diversity is one answer. However cheap and easy Netflix might be, however much it seems like every film ever made is available on Youtube, however you

pride yourself on sourcing downloads of movies even before they have made it into theatres, Auteur House has a greater range of product. Moreover, we offer quality advice and friendly service.

That said, this fortnightly column seeks to be something other than an advertorial. Film is a young art form but there are still many stories to tell.

30

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Maramara KĹ?rero — Columns

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Tinder Tales Sociology 104 Anonymous SEND YOUR TINDER HORROR STORIES TO TINDER@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ FERTILE MYRTLE 20 / F / BISEXUAL It started off badly. Our first meeting was on a park bench, where he talked

"cum dumpster of a pussy". At one time, I touched a weird skin tag on his

about conspiracy theories and why he didn't use fluoride toothpaste for an

lower back, only to recoil in fear and spend the remainder of the thoroughly

hour. He then promptly gapped it after some sad excuse of needing to go

uneventful bang thinking about this sweaty little conjoined twin. The whole

home to eat meatloaf. Now, this would have been totally normal - a flatmate

experience was weird, mediocre, and definitely NOT worth the drive over

is expecting him home for dinner. Except... he was 34 and lived alone.

there. I had more fun petting his cat while I snuck out of his house when he

Clearly undeterred by his erratic behaviour and abrupt exit, I told him in the subsequent text conversation following our "date" that I was disappointed

was in the shower.

All I can say is thank fuck for condoms.

he hadn't invited me back to his. He had spent the last hour outlining why he wanted a casual sex arrangement, and I had driven away without any physical contact. The following night, he invited me to his place.

The place looked as if it belonged to a 43-year-old accidental cat breeder named Sheryl, who loved dragon ornaments, hoarding, and chain smoking rollies on the lumpy corduroy couch she acquired on a curb in West Auckland.

Not the good-looking 6'3" project manager I had matched on Tinder.

Frankly, I was despy for a root and he was very good looking. Should've been grateful too, the hairy old fuck.

Some of us have daddy issues. Mine involve an attraction to older men. My Tinderfella's involved dirty talk about how fertile my womb was, and how he was "going to fill me up with babies" when he "spurted" his "seed" into my

32

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

Opinionated A Tale of Two Islands Jean Balchin In the wake of Brexit and mass hysteria about country borders, one might

Jackson filmed much of LOTR down here. And if it’s adventure you’re seeking,

argue that emphasising the differences between the North Island and the

look no further than Queenstown, “the adventure capital of the world”. Per-

South Island is a recipe for disaster. But I relish debate. Having lived in both

haps skydiving is your thing? If not, bungy jumping, paragliding, white water

islands – from the black sand beaches of Auckland to the dusty emptiness

rafting or even cruising might entice you.

of Milton, I can reassure you that the South Island is better. From your first step onto Te Waipounamu, you’ll immediately feel as if you’re in a different country. For a start, there are far fewer people – and far more sheep. The pace of life is slower and chilled out, and the locals are a bit friendlier – even if their southern burr is hard to understand.

Every so often, I’m forced to admit that I’m a student at Otago University.

“Oh, you’re from Dunedin?” they ask with fascinated delight, “how are the toga parties going down there? Do you actually get any study done?” Swallowing my irritation, I usually reply along the lines of “Of course, when I’m not toasting marshmallows on couch fires.” But you know what? I’m not ashamed

We also have fewer cities, but the ones we do have are fantastic. Granted,

to live in the bowels of New Zealand. The South Island is fucking great. And

Wellington, the coolest little capital in the world, is pretty cool. From the ka-

we have cheese rolls too.

leidoscope colour of Cuba Street to the soaring hills, it’s a city of opposites.

Auckland is a great stinking behemoth. But Christchurch is a city reinventing itself, with all manner of exciting pop-up stores and projects unfolding. As for my home city – Dunedin – it’s fucking great. Home to the strikingly beautiful Otago Peninsula (we have albatrosses), quirky architecture and the odd penguin, our city is beautiful and underrated.

The North Island’s scenery is pretty top-notch, I have to admit. Rotorua's bubbling mud spas are amazing, as are the volcanoes of Tongariro National Park and the sweeping cliffs of Cathedral Cove. But your ‘mountains’ have got nothing on our Southern Alps. We’ve also got the best ski fields and two giant rivers of ice, Franz Josef and Fox Glacier. The rugged valleys of Fiordland inspire awe in even the most sceptical viewer – it’s no wonder Peter

33

N.01 / V.49

CATCH A FREE BUS TO THE

CHIEFS HOME GAMES

The free bus runs for an hour before the game, leaving from Hood St (outside Knox St carpark) and departing approximately every 10 minutes, travelling via Victoria, Ulster and Abbotsford streets to the ground. Passengers will be picked up from any official bus stop along the way. Buses will depart directly after the final whistle on Tristram Street near the Mill St intersection.

0800 4 BUSLINE (0800 4 287 5463) facebook.com/busitwaikato

Maramara Kōrero — Columns

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Darts & Crafts Black Belt in Binge Drinking Emily Reid In part one of our crafty series we’ll show you how to transform the humble can tab into the pinnacle of recycled trash fashion.

Whether you down Double Browns or sip Somersbys, this tutorial will have you wearing your drinking prowess with pride.

MATERIALS: • Enough can tabs to join and fit around your neck • Staples and a stapler • A hot glue gun & pliers • A ribbon HOW TO CRAFT: 1. To begin, use the stapler to staple several loose staples. You will need enough to create two links between each can tab.

2. Using the pliers, bend the staples through each of the holes in the can tabs so that they form a chain. Press the loops of the staple as tight as possible around the can tab. Two cab tabs should be joined together using two staples.

3. Using the glue gun, place dollops of glue where the can tabs meet the staples to strengthen your choker and to avoid the dreaded chafed neck.

4. Loop the ribbon through the two ends of the can tab chain and tie in a knot at the back of your neck.

5. Pair your accessory with something black and alternative then go forth with the assurance you look delightfully trashy.

PHOTOGRAPHY BY ALESSANDRA TANE INSTAGRAM: @ALESSANDRAROSETTA

36

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Columns — Maramara Kōrero

COOKED COOKING Impressing a Sleepover Guest Uncle Yam INGREDIENTS: • Two free range eggs

6. Smile coyly when they comment on how good you look in the morning and tell them you'll make breakfast.

• Splash of milk stolen from a flat mate

7. Whisk the eggs, milk and cinnamon in a wide, shallow dish.

• 1 tsp Cinnamon, you bougie fuck

8. Heat up some butter/margarine/something oily in a pan.

• Hopeless romanticism

9. Dunk the bread in the egg mixture, making sure it's

• An intense need for validation • Whatever stale ass bread you can scrounge

well coated.

10. Cook coated bread in pan a few minutes on each side, until more golden than your stellar hosting skills.

• Honey/golden/maple syrup 11. Let your artistic skills run wild when serving. Arrange • Fruit that isn't borderline rotten

your fruit artfully, chuck on some fuckin flowers if you feel the need. I've seen fancy cafes do that. It's

1. Wake up several hours before your guest.

2. Sneak out of the bed.

12. Accept that all love will eventually die.

3. Shower, brush your teeth, fix your hair and put on a

13. Douse in syrup.

light coating of makeup if you wear it.

4. Sneak back into bed.

5. Yawn, stretch and subtly wake up your guest.

37

a thing.

N.01 / V.49

14. Voila.

Atapaki — Snapped

Snapped

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week (with the yellow border) wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

38

“THAT'S JUST WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS - A COCK IN A FROCK ON A ROCK” — THE ADVENTURES OF PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT METRO MOVIE QUIZ: WHAT WAS THE MOST RECENT FILM TO WIN AN OSCAR FOR COSTUME DESIGN THAT WASN'T A PERIOD PIECE? IN THE MOVIE TO WONG FOO, WITH LOVE, JULIE NEWMAR, WHO PLAYED JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT? WHO WAS THE FIRST TRANSGENDER PERSON TO BE NOMINATED FOR A PRIMETIME EMMY?

LAST WEEK’S ANSWERS: QUIET EARTH, MONSTERS UNIVERSITY AND GOOD WILL HUNTING

NO TEXTING, NO TWEETING, NO DISTURBANCES. 56 WARD STREET.

He aru makau — Blind Date

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Blind–

Brought to you by House on Hood Street.

Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection.

If you're keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz She has a morbid obsession with serial killers and recently transferred to Waikato from Victoria (ew). His only kitchen utensil is a funnel and he secretly has a heart of gold. Will she get a slay or will he just straight up murder her?

HE SAID:

SHE SAID:

6.30pm and I decide that I might have to scrape

It may have been a blind date, but it wasn’t our

myself together for a date. Battling all day from a

first date. During my final year of high school, my

night that left me passed out naked in the kitch-

date and I hit it off on Tinder. We met in a Robert

en, I’m able to dress for the occasion and semi

Harris in his thriving rural metropolis of a home-

hide a hangover. Upon arrival, House sent us to

town, and I made the massive faux pas of bringing

different tables but soon realised we were both

TWO friends on our “date”. He never texted me

actually in the building, we then order a tequila

back. As soon as my date sat down at our table, I

shot to celebrate finding each other.

ripped into him for ruining my delicate year 13 ego.

After introductions I discover that I'm actually on my second date with this lass. An old Tinder romance from a few years back, a date that she

He, in turn, ripped me for being a pretentious Wellington hipster and then proceeded to literally rip the iron-on patches off my denim jacket. Cunt move.

brought two friends which scared me off and re-

He was an absolute DADDDYYYY – especially

sulted in never talking to her again.

when he took his jacket off and I nearly creamed

What made it worse is I didn't even remember her. At this point I feel as if I’ve been a little set up; I let the crazy sex stories she told that I can't

myself by the sight of his tanned shoulders and thick arms. He did have small hands, but if it works for Trump…

seem to top, and kinky tales that each of us had

The yarns were flowing, and we divulged in some

done continue. Shots bringing out sex secrets,

thoroughly scandalous sex stories over the mul-

this Tinder date knows my sex life better than

tiple tequila shots (thnx for the bar tab, Nexus).

anyone, as do I hers. Shots of tequila and rounds

The climax of the date was me confessing that

of drinks leaves an over-ordered bar tab to split.

I’d be doing him later. We quickly scooted, sucked

My hangover has decreased and I'm already feel-

down a menthol, and headed to his. Shout-out to

ing tipsy. I pack our leftovers for cheech and we

his chill flatties, who most definitely heard my

scuttle home.

screaming orgasm through the buzz of the cricket playing in the next room. The pussy licking was lit, the whiskey dick was a minor distraction, and the experience overall is boosting my reputation as a “loose bitch”.

Date

40

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Puzzles — Panga

Horoscopes Aries MARCH 21 — APRIL 19

Libra SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22

Venus is shining bright for you this week, and if you keep your eyes

Treat yourself this week, and go see Matt Damon’s new movie for a

open then you might just find a Venus of your own, to make your

night out. He’s saving the world this time, which is long overdue given

nights a little brighter too.

the amount of times other people have had to save him.

Taurus APRIL 20 — MAY 20

Scorpio OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21

Props to you for making the decision to come and study here at Wai-

Flatting gets expensive, so you’ve got to think outside the box in order

kato. If you’re truly committed though, it’s time you rhino a can of

to keep those bills down. Try jumping in the shower with your flat-

Waikato, and baptise yourself in the holy juice.

mates: you can save on water and shampoo!

Gemini MAY 21 — JUNE 20

Sagittarius OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21

Mercury is in zone this month which bodes well for the cricket… main-

Uni getting you down already? Quit, and just move back in with your

ly because the season is nearly over, and you’ll be free from having to

mum, especially if you were dumb enough to think you’d get good

pretend that you care about it.

advice from a horoscope.

Cancer JUNE 21 — JULY 22

Capricorn DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19

Hey you, in L.G.01, sitting at the back. I don’t remember your name but

Your sign is courageous and brave, and as long as you follow your

we hooked up in 101 last weekend and I think you should probably get

heart and trust in your decisions, you’re going to have a great week.

yourself tested. Actually, so should your mate.

Oh, wait, no that’s Pisces. Hahaha, you’re fucked.

Leo JULY 21 — AUGUST 22

Aquarius JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18

Had trouble finding pot since you’ve moved to Hamilton? Just take a

I hope you made the most of the free O-Week sausages, pancakes,

look outside and gaze up at Orion’s belt helping to form New Zealand’s

and candy offered all across campus, because you’re about to start

favourite astrological formation.

your descent into the scurvy-causing student diet.

Virgo AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22

Pisces FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20

You have to put in a little bit of extra work and kindness this week, but

Your astrological symbol is a fish. Take this as a sign to either buy that

Karma will make sure it’s worth it in the end. Just pop down to Hush

bottle of gin and drink like a fish, or sell your unfertilised eggs as a

Hush and pay her a visit on Saturday night.

culinary delicacy.

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41

N.01 / V.49

THEME: Trust fund kid - “Can you take a pic of me in my Gosha Rubchinskiy x FILA collab merch while I

NEXUS MAGAZINE

Panga — Puzzles

Sudoku 9

4

9

8

6

3

7

4

5

6

2

2

6

4 3

8

7

4

5

6

2

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2 3

6 1

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6

8

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MEDIUM

Trivia

2

4

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3

DIFFICULT

Futoshiki

1. Which RuPaul’s drag race contestant is famous for her backrolls?

2. What is the highest individual score in test cricket?

Fill in the squares so that each digit

3 <

from 1 to 4 occurs exactly once in each row and column.

3. Who won the Academy award for Best Supporting Actress in 2005?

<

5. Who is the author of the novella "The Metamorphosis", first published in 1915?

adjacent squares.

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There is only one solution, and you

<

Word Twist D

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START

How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horiontally, vertically, or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

END

4. 1815

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can find it without guessing.

Maze

5. Franz Kafka

B

Greater-than and less-than signs indicate the relationship of the two

<

4. Napoleon suffered defeat at Waterloo in what year?

2. 400 not out

3

7

1

TRIVIA ANSWERS

4

4

2

3. Rachel Weisz

8

2

4

1. Alyssa Edwards

1

42

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