Nexus '22 | Issue 09 | Sick Burnout Bro

A DIFFERENT SORT OF

STUDENT BAR MEMBERSHIPS FROM JUST

$10.95

P/W

STUDENT AND COMMUNITY MEMBERSHIPS AVAILABLE WITH 12 MONTH, 6 MONTH AND FLEXI-TERM CONTRACTS.

David Bennett List MP based in Hamilton East 510 Grey Street, Hamilton East 3216 davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz davidbennett.national.org.nz 07 834 3407

Authorised by David Bennett MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington.

06 Nā Te Ētita

18

Pass the Aux

07

News

19

Full Exposure

10

Slumber Stripping

22

Columns

12

How to Survive 2022

30 Entertainment

14

The Loss of Spoons

34 Snapped

16

Whelmed

35

17

Soapbox

36

Horoscopes

@binx.film Nexus Media Experience facebook.com/nexusnz

Puzzles

@nexusmag

@nexusmedia_nz

社论 / NĀ TE ĒTITA

Cuzzie, chill out E pehea ana koe? How are you?

This isn’t some surface how are you, but a genuine question of how you're coping at the moment. And in all honesty, I really do want to know. As people, we sometimes find it hard to communicate exactly what it is we’re feeling and how those feelings relate to the world around us - but why is this? Without making this editorial turn into a kōrero all about mental health, I will talk about some sort of understanding of burnout.

Usually about this time in the trimester, you start feeling a little bit low, or like you're running out of gasoline, just struggling to move towards the next stop so you can fill yourself up. And that's totally normal, it's completely natural that you don't want to continue and that you feel like it's just a burden more than something that's going to further your future and benefit you. But trust me when I say this, the service station is around the corner.

In the past few weeks, I’ve found myself worrying about the idea of ‘stale content.’ And when I say stale content, I'm referring to the next magazine itself and whether or not the content is exactly what you as a reader are looking for. This has been this internal conflict regarding the columns and if they’re intriguing to you as a consumer of this media, if this is anything close to what you want to absorb as you move aimlessly through the world. But you wanna know something

NEXUS

TEAM

interesting? I'm not even close to coming up with an answer to that question. Previous editors often looked to make the magazine the best version of itself that it could be, but we rarely ever achieve that ultimate goal of success and gratification from a ‘perfect magazine.’

And this is a great analogy for you as a student and you as a person.

Am I implying that you will never be the best version of you? Not at all. There is an ideal version of what a successful person looks like in your mind, but this is something completely unattainable. There's no penultimate version of what success is with you, and there's no limit to how much you can achieve. At the risk of sounding like a Ted talk, success is subjective and it’s up to you to understand where that limit exists. Lol I definitely have the habit of beginning to sound like some random motivational speaker that you get told to go to by a level 200 philosophy lecturer, soz about that.

I'm not your psychologist, nor am I someone that you should be taking mental health advice from, but if I was to offer any sort of resounding support in your journey as tauira, don't take it too seriously. Ultimately the mahi that you do here is only a small reflection of who you’ll become later in life. You make your own future, don't let anyone else dictate your path.

Ētita Jak Rāta etita@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor Features Tehana De Klerk tehana@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor News Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz Designer Wenyue Ruan - 阮文悦 wenyue@nexusmag.co.nz Advertising & Communication James Raffan comms@wsu.org.nz Contributors Caitlin Walters-Freke Chelsea James Chloe Smith Dave Snell Eilidh Huggan Hannah Huggan Hannah Petuha Hayley James Joseph Riwaka Katrina Jones Keira McGregor Libbie Gillard Lily Bradley Nikki Van Dijk Sarah Morcom Simon Winship Stien Huizenga Tys Paterson Seamus Lohrey Sven Seddon Zian Volkov

​He kai kei aku ringa. Mauri Ora SICK BURNOUT BRO

5

NEXUS

WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Last Wiki This Wiki Jared Ipsen Hey, I’m sorry about that outburst I had last week. It’s okay if you don’t care about the news and only care about yourself. There’s plenty of things going on out there in the world - some good, some not so good - but that shouldn’t matter to you, right? It’s all about you, baby. You vs. the world. Fuck everyone else, right? Don’t forget to charge your crystals this week, too.

A rare leaked document from the US Supreme Court revealed their desire to overturn women’s rights to safe abortions in America.

Roe v. Wades’ ruling protected women's rights to choose under US law, but a draft document leaked

by Politico last week saw the courts claiming that the original decision wasn’t constitutional, and ‘must be overruled.’ Despite their desire to control what women do with their bodies, research shows that outlawing abortions doesn’t reduce the amount of abortions sought - in fact, it actually increases pregnancy-related deaths by up to 21%, as women seek out unsafe abortions elsewhere. Protests have been happening across the US over the last week, as women in the Land Of The FreeTM grapple with the new reality of having less rights than a gun. Abortion remains legal in Aotearoa, and women’s rights were protected further after a new law passed in March to prevent sick, sad freaks from protesting directly outside abortion clinics.

6

N.09 / V. 55

Scallops are off the menu in the Coromandel, as the tipa population falls to critical levels.

The total population of scallops in the Hauraki Gulf has dropped by 93% over the last decade, with a 2020 Auckland Council report lamenting ‘mass mortality’ events among the shellfish caused by ‘adverse environmental conditions’ and ‘toxic algae blooms’. Local iwi have placed a rāhui on collecting shellfish to allow for numbers to recover, and several fisheries across Te Ika-a-Māui have followed suit. While everyone agrees that the decline in tipa numbers is due to human activity, the fisheries industry believe climate change is to blame, while others suspect ‘dredging’ (fisheries ‘obliterating the sea floor’ by dragging a giant claw across it) might have something to do with it. ‘This is the beginning of the end for dredging in the gulf,’ Auckland Councillor Pippa Coom told NZ Herald. ‘[We] will continue to advocate for a completely dredge-free future.’

新闻 / WIHIRI NIUHI

NEXUS

Landlords still be landlording as TradeMe continues to pull illegal lodging listings from their website.

A property in Auckland suburb Ellerslie was advertised at $550 a week, but didn’t include any cooking facilities, which are required by law under the Residential Tenancies Act 1986.

When questioned by Stuff, the landlord claimed he wasn’t aware that property managers had to meet legal requirements for cooking facilities, and that tenants could just use an ‘air fryer’ or something - likely indicating he hadn’t read the Residential Tenancies Act 1986 at all.

The listing was only removed after a screenshot went viral on social media, aided by Green Party MP Chlöe Swarbrick tagging TradeMe’s official Twitter account.

Things continue to be grim for renters in this country, but hey, look on the bright side - if you’re getting sick of Uni, you could always become a landlord. You don’t have to have any qualifications, you aren’t required to pay any attention to the law, and you get to bottom feed off your tenant’s wages as you sit at home and do nothing.

Score!

A CEO of an Aotearoa chemical manufacturing company has been heavily criticised after making sexist and racist comments about a prominent New Zealand businesswoman.

In an interview with National Business Review, DGL Group founder Simon Henry inexplicably took aim at My Food Bag co-founder Nadia Lim, calling her ‘Eurasian fluff’ and making incredibly inappropriate comments about a photo of her as it appeared in their prospectus. Following Simon’s comments, Stuff reports that DGL Group’s value dropped $304 million in less than a week, and Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern even weighed in on the situation, telling New Zealand Herald ‘I imagine [his comments] would be insulting to all women.’ On recently launched online radio station The Platform, Sean Plunket made the charitable claim that Simon Henry was merely trying to make a comment about ‘star power or celebrity endorsement’ in business, but even he agreed that you’d have to be ‘seriously odd’ to see the image in question as sexual. I can only imagine that Simon Henry lashed out at Nadia out of jealousy, as no one would ever accuse him of using his physical appearance to sell anything (aside from birth control).

SICK BURNOUT BRO

7

NEXUS

WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Small Town Short News Jared Ipsen Sure, mainstream news has all the gore, glitz and glamour that the public lusts for so strongly - but where else are you going to find stories of everyday citizens standing up to the big man (New Zealand Food Safety) and standing up for what they believe in (selling unsafe food products)? And just where else are you going to read about men from Tokoroa falling out of trees? I guess you could just go and read every single small town newspaper like I do. But you won’t. You’ll keep crawling back to Nexus like you always do.

A peat fire in Whatawhata has been blanketing residents with smoke and fog for the last few weeks.

Peat fires happen when partially decayed plant material on or under the soil gets ignited, and can burn for years underground without being detected. Our very own Professor Dave Campbell from Waikato University told Stuff that the fire was part of a much larger issue in the Waikato, saying ‘all 80,000 hectares of drained peatland in the Waikato is on a slow burn.. Really, [peat fires are] happening all the time.’ While we don’t know yet how the fire started, Fire and Emergency had recently warned local residents against lighting fires on their properties due to incredibly dry conditions over the summer. Whoops, lol!

The debate about Te Awamutu’s controversial proposed rubbish incineration plant burns on as residents try to prevent 23 tonnes of daily ash being added to the atmosphere.

While construction company Global Contracting Solutions say the opposition group’s claims are ‘scandalous,’ environmental groups worry the so-called ‘waste to energy’ plant will be a ‘toxic nightmare.’ Talking to the Te Awamutu Courier, a spokesperson for the capitalist corporation GCS pushed back against claims from Zero Waste Network Aotearoa that the plant would heavily damage the surrounding environment - but when asked by Nexus to cite their sources, they chose not to reply to our emails. Councils often pay third party companies to deal with their region’s trash, and the waste industry is an incredibly profitable hustle, with international projections valuing the industry at almost $4 trillion NZD.

Also,

duck shooting season is underway.

8

N.09 / V. 55

A Manakau couple in their 70s have been busted selling raw milk in a nationwide sting by the Ministry for Primary Industries.

A 2019 operation which saw an undercover agent purchase the illegal milk led to a $30,000 fine for the elderly pair, who were allegedly using a loophole in the laws to slang their nasty cow juice. For those unfamiliar with gross shit, ‘raw’ milk is cow titty juice that hasn’t been pasteurised (meaning, heated to a certain temperature to kill bacteria and disease), and drinkers claim it’s better for you even though the only research around raw milk concludes that you definitely shouldn’t drink it. During MPI’s raid on the raw milk trap house, criminal Phillippa Martin told NZ Herald that ‘they went through our trash [and] confiscated our computers and hard drive.’ Her husband was quoted saying ‘I am not ashamed of anything I've done.. My conscience is clear.’

Much like our friends the koi fish and the possum, mallard ducks were introduced in to Aotearoa in the 1870s, and thanks to their rapid breeding schedule are now the most common waterfowl in the country. Duck shooting has become somewhat of a colonial pastime in New Zealand, with hunting licensing body Fish & Game estimating around half a million of them get absolutely blasted to death each year. Some people claim to eat the deceased ducks, and others still claim that they’re culling the birds to keep the numbers down, but I think some dudes just loooooooove the feeling of just fucken slaughtering small defenseless animals. In saying that, I’m not a big fan of ducks anyway so go wild, you bloodthirsty psychos.

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

NEXUS

SICK BURNOUT BRO

9

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

Illustration by @jakmihakarata

10 N.09 / V. 55

特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

NEXUS

Seamus Lohrey

Ok, ok. I’m sure you’ve heard it harped on about countless times before: 8 hours, 8 hours, 8 hours, blah, blah, blah. Clearly the lab coats that deemed this rule to be true never heard of a quick mocha after an all nighter. Not so smart anymore, are ya? Well maybe they are.

It’s a bit of a sticky situation if we’re being perfectly honest with ourselves; we think about sleep all day yet when our sheets call our name at night, we stop ourselves from hitting the hay. But why? Well, while there’s no one answer we can put our finger on. Rather, there’s a few large- albeit annoying- things that come to mind.

Phones.

Dun, dun, dun! A word, when uttered, makes the elderly shudder like an irritated maraca. However, it’s beginning to have the same effect on your sleep schedule. It’s a simple equation: bluelight equals bad. As more and more cool, trendy young adults adorn their blue light glasses, it’s more evident that this idea is finally making its way into the spotlight. For those that have missed out on this fantastic new found fear, bluelight is omitted from phone screens and at night this is a big no no. It keeps you alert, practically pushing your worn out brain as far away from slumber as possible. By now, many people are aware of blue light and its effects, but I would like to propose another sleep-stopping side to your phone: scrolling. How often has five more minutes on Tik Tok turned into an hour? A marketing agency in the UK found that our thumbs do two marathons worth of scrolling a year!

I’ll be the first to raise my hand and admit that this is a prominent flaw of mine and I find it so hard to resist the goods Uncle Tics has to offer. But, it’s 1am, maybe it’s time to press the button on the right side of your iPhone. Your fingers can do some scrolling tomorrow.

The one thing the studious and the not so have in common is studying late the night before an assessment. The key to preparing yourself for a good night’s sleep is some hard mahi during the day; the classic quote “diamonds are made under pressure” does not apply after 12:30am. Full stop. It’s a trap we set for ourselves, to continuously leave work for our sleepy self at night. You work at night, you’re then tired during the day, you nap, and then you work at night again because you have no time during the day. This is what a conspiracy theorist would call an inside job. Sabotage. It’s important to learn that a good night’s

sleep doesn’t just start when you get in your PJs and put your toothbrush down; it starts from waking up in the morning and making sure you’re being proactive and productive.

But, sometimes, when the phone is down and the work is done, sleep still doesn’t come. Sometimes, there aren’t enough bloody sheep in Waikato to be able to count you off to sleep. You know the types of nights I’m talking about, the ones where you do your best impression of an earthworm, wiggling and wobbling around but still finding no comfort at all. We might be afraid of the day ahead, it may be too hot, or it might just be something you can’t explain. It’s important in moments like these to not force yourself into sleep because you’ll just push it further away.

Rather, what I recommend is getting out of sleep mode and doing a relaxing activity: read, meditate, or even simply get up and get a glass of water. Do whatever works for you to trigger a mental reset. The key is kindness; don’t beat yourself up for not being able to doze off, we’ve all been there.

But why should we focus on a good night of sleep? Although I still have my disputes with the scientific proven aids of a good night’s sleep (mainly it being able to help you grow when I’m still a firm 5′9”), it’s hard to negate the fact that it should be seen as essential for navigating your tough day ahead.

Sleep can boost productivity and awareness, helping you to put more effort into your work as well as the things and people you love. Sleep helps your noggin’. And remember, while you’re under the sheets your mind is processing all the information it’s got during the day. The bottom line is, sleep can be just as helpful as study. Not as lazy as you thought, aye? Even better, the more time you get with your eyes closed, the bigger your smile is the next day. The best thing about all these facts is you don’t need some fancy sciencey person to perform some even fancier sciencey tests. You see it in yourself. How often have you woken up acting like a cookie deprived cookie monster because you haven’t treated yourself to the siesta you deserved. Far too often.

Let’s be honest, you knew about this issue before even reading.

It’s no secret that things like phones and procrastination stop you from getting a good night’s rest and acting at your full potential the next day. I hope, however, that I was able to open those sleepy little eyes of yours and bring it to your attention.

Basically what I’m trying to say is, tuck yourself in at a good time tonight. You’ve earned it.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

11

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

How to Survive 2022 Lily Bradley

Tip 1 First things first – block them. You know exactly who I’m talking about.

- An ex fwb who’s started reacting to your stories again.

- The toxic friend that left you feeling terrible about yourself that’s asking to catch up for a coffee.

- That celebrity that is bragging about starving herself to fit into a dress for the met gala.

(Not naming any names) (Kim Kardashian) - The extended family member who’s still posting articles calling Jacinda the next Hitler on Facebook.

Remove them from your social media! Honestly, as most of you know, this can be a lot more difficult than it sounds. Going and having a cheeky stalk of someone can be really tempting, but I can say from experience that it does you no favours. In fact, it makes you feel a whole lot worse! Getting rid of these people from your life literally feels so good when you get to the point of giving no fucks.

12 N.09 / V. 55

Tip 2 Make an angry playlist on Spotify.

Mine is just titled FUCK YOU but you can be slightly more creative than that if you’d like. Condense all the songs you want to listen to when you’re hating the world into one playlist. Blast this in the car on the way home after a soul draining day of being a member of society. I guarantee, getting your anger and frustration out by screaming lyrics and scaring surrounding traffic will always be therapeutic.

If you need some song suggestions, my playlist includes titles such as: - Gives you hell by the all-American rejects - Ain’t shit by Doja cat - I don’t fuck with you by Big Sean.

The rest of the songs are slightly embarrassing, and I want you all to think I’m cool, so I won’t go into any more detail.

特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

Praying you catch covid because it means you aren’t obligated to leave your room for a week? Feeling more unmotivated than the average student? Sleeping for 9 hours a night and still feeling like you’ve been hit by a bus when you wake up? You may be suffering

Tip 3

NEXUS

from burnout. Hello all and welcome, I am a Uni dropout and I’m going to be a massive hypocrite and pretend I have my shit together enough to give you some advice. Here are a few top tips on how to survive the rest of the absolutely fucked year that is 2022.

Tip 4

If you’re struggling with your mental health, go to a doctor and talk about it.

Another hot tip on how to make it through the year – alcohol.

Starting sertraline in December of last year changed my life.

Trying to get through a degree is hard enough completely sane, studying while struggling with your mental wellbeing is NOT the tahi. I would also highly recommend counselling, although I know that the mental health system in New Zealand is appalling and not everyone is lucky enough to have the opportunity.

As an ex-nursing student, I definitely should not be endorsing this, but drinking alcohol on antidepressants is a broke student hack. The first time I had a drink after starting sertraline I had to lie down after one cider (nothing to do with the fact I was already a light weight). A night with a few mates and a bottle of vodka is literally a lifesaver when it feels like the world is ending. I’m not encouraging alcoholism to solve all your problems, but what I’m saying is, sometimes it's ok to get wasted and steal a road cone for your flat if that’s something that brings you joy.

Waiting 5 months for a counsellor referral isn’t exactly beneficial for the young adults of Aotearoa. May is mental health awareness month, now is the perfect time to reach out to someone you trust. The more people that are open about their struggles, the less isolated and alone people feel.

Post those really cringe positive affirmations on your Instagram story if it makes you feel hope for half a second!

So those were my 4 top tips on how to keep on keeping on. I’m sure you’re over getting advice from a uni dropout on how to get through the year when clearly, I was not successful. Valid. You may be thinking, this was shit, why did I waste my time reading this? That’s valid too. I’ll leave you with a few parting thoughts while I go watch heartstopper for the fourth time to restore my faith in humanity.

No assignment is more important than your health.

There is someone out there that’s grateful that you exist.

Drink water, take your meds, have something to eat.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

13

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

Burnout. A space that university students can easily find themselves in, most often around when assignments are due, when exams are coming up, or when an event is about to take place. It’s a dreaded space, filled with anxiety and a lack of energy and motivation. It is pure chaos while also being a space where nobody cares what happens nor what comes next. And generally, lecturers are pretty understanding of burnout. They experience burnout in their positions too. But what happens when you’re in a continual state of burnout that you rarely escape from? Disabled people understand this, and we have terminology for this - spoons. Whether it be a lack of spoons, or if we have enough spoons.

Now, for our able bodied allies out there, spoons refers to The Spoon Theory - a theory created by a member of the disabled community to help explain not only the differences in a disabled person’s energy levels, but how long it takes to recover and why. To put it simply, it may take you one spoon to shower or three to go to the gym, and when you eat or sleep you get the spoons back. For many disabled people, it could take two spoons to shower or four to go to the gym, and eating or sleeping doesn’t always bring the spoons back, at least not quickly. It is why disabled people sometimes use the term “spoonie” to refer to themselves or others. It also makes for easy and quick communication for disabled people to our allies and to those who surround us. But what this means, is that we are in a regular state of burnout. We are burnt out because on top of uni assignments and coursework, we have appointments. We have medications that often have nasty side effects. We have to travel for appointments. We deal with flare ups, insomnia. And often lecturers don’t understand this, and make assumptions as to why disabled people need extensions and extra support. Which only adds to the burnout. We are made to find spoons we don’t have, and use spoons we can’t get, in order to satisfy lecturers who don’t understand us.

Don’t get me wrong, not all lecturers are like this. I, and many others I know, have had lovely experiences. Lecturers who gave us a couple of extra days, lecturers who listened to our needs and tried to help,

14 N.09 / V. 55

and who spoke to Accessibility Services about adequate support.

But we have many who don’t and won’t understand the lack of spoons, who don’t give us the time, and who try to tell us it’s not as bad as we are saying it is. And this is when burnout becomes chronic. When disabled people are forced to work in burnout, it can have catastrophic consequences. These include hospital visits, extended episodes of insomnia, heightened anxiety and stress, the inability to socialise or work in employment, brain fog, frequent medical episodes, and much more. To not disappoint staff who don’t try to understand us or adapt, and in an effort to achieve the often insanely high standards, we hold ourselves to these consequences.

‘Cause it’s completely reasonable to expect ourselves to have the same high quality work as able bodied students, while trying to work to survive and manage our chronic conditions,

right? Toooootally…

You may ask - how can I help? Can I help with the amount of spoons someone has? Well unfortunately, you can’t give us spoons; we have to let them come back in time. What you can do is educate yourself.

Learn about spoon theory, and how we use it to communicate.

Learn about our burnout, and learn about what happens if we try to do something without the spoons. Learn about our disabilities and what they affect. If you have a disabled friend in your friend group, ask for their input on hangouts - do you have the spoons for this? Is this accessible to you in your current state? Do you need an alternative? A little goes a long way. And staff? Learn about our conditions and needs and speak to Accessibility Services. Find out how to best support disabled students, and what we need to complete work to a high standard.

To my spoonie uni students? We see you. We know you’re trying and fighting. And there are people on campus to support you. Come find us - speak to Accessibility Services. The disabled community will welcome you with open arms.

LISTEN NOW ON

NEXUS

MARAMARA MARAMARA KŌRERO KŌRERO / 专栏 / 专栏

Whelmed Imposter Syndrome

by Rachael Elliott

Dave Snell

The smarter you are the more likely you are to struggle with your mental health. I dunno whether thatissue makes more orparticularly less likely A significant in y’all University, to hit the skids to be honest.

You did make for those coming close to graduation, is it into uni, but then you actually choseyou to Imposter Syndrome. This is where come here education is the feel like youwhen don’thigher belong, don’t deserve biggest money-making scam the boomers the success or good feedback, and you’re managed since housingto crisis so… Jury’s just waiting forthe someone ‘realise’ that out. you’re faking it and point and laugh all the way back to Tai Tokerau, you miserable Recent stats from the NZ help Health little malingerer.

It doesn’t thatsurvey often reported that women aged 15-24 were when you first start out at university people experiencing anxiety and depression at will try to allay your fears and say “just double the rate of men the same age, and fake it till you make it”. But then you start Māori are do 1.5I know times that moreI’ve likely to thinkingyouth – when made have a diagnosis of anxiety disorder than it? I was excited that I was going to finish non-Māori.

Our non-binary, gender my doctorate andtrans, my Imposter Syndrome queer, and takatāpui whānau are even would go. I’d be Dr Dave. A doctor more can’t marginalised, so they’re even deeper the feel like an imposter.

Everyone I knowinwith hole. letters after their name seems so confident and assured. My lecturers all talk for years So don’t andtheories tell me and thatarticles. there isn’t a about thetry latest societally constructed, gender specific, kyriarchal component to our mental health I’m sorry to say, my experience of Imposter crisis.

The effect of gender-roles and theI Syndrome never left. When I realised this, negative experiences of these throughout panicked. Would I always feel like a poser? your starting even Am I life, Kim often Kardashian in abefore Slayer you shirt?

Or realise what is happening, is a very large worse, am I a court jester in a tweed jacket? and factora for mental Quickspecific you’re risk wearing Freud shirt,illness. name Not to mention the fact that we’re three stages of development! Oral, usually Anal… left literally holding baby (or the Dammit, I can onlythe remember thesibling, funny or parent or grandparent).

Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, 16 N.09 / V. 55

inclusive) are being thrown under the fucking bus. In every country from which data available, in every and ones!is Snap!

You’re still racial, fakingethnic, it; you’re age group, from every historical period: not a true psychology graduate. Down the we have men snake backlower to thearrest start rates of thethan game, like for an all crime categories except prostitution academic Snakes and Ladders. In all honesty (which shouldn’t be a crime, sex go work is I don’t think this feeling will ever away work).

Several peer-reviewed studies over for me, it's quite a big part of who I am. It’s the last few decades shown that important to see what thehave hell this Imposter wom*n outperform men in many of the Syndrome ‘thing’ is doing to me, and try and key areas that make for good leadership: make it work for me. Maybe these will work self-awareness, kindness, self-control, for you too. humility, social skills, and moral sensitivity.

While usheavy in unprovoked - Thesemen days outperform there are very screening aggression, psychopathy, narcissism, greed, processes to get into anything. We’ve all and thethrough kinds ofmega Machiavellian tendencies jumped hoops just to get a part that things collarthrough crime, time create job in retail to like helpwhite us survive mishandling of a global pandemic and the uni, and had to compete against hundreds need for the #metoo movement.

And yet of other applicants. Academic institutions they’re still in charge.

And you still ask us are getting even harder to get into and a lot why we need feminism. of people are competing for scholarships.

If you got one (job or scholarship or even Anyway, digress.

Why are wom*n more whateverI is the equivalent of University likely to struggle with their mental health Entrance these days), then chances are – than men? MaYBE HoRMoNEs? You Fucken DeserveiT’s It. ThEiR With all the new and Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and inventive ways HR tries to screw people, depressed because we do all the emotional congratulations! You foiled their nefarious labour or because aren’t to plans! You made it men through theallowed tuna net. have Either way youYou can thank the Keep feelings? telling yourself this. are here patriarchy, the you solution feminism. because ofand course are. is You are fucking fabulous.

Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed because we’ve been sexualised since we were children? Nothing like never being sure if you can trust a person to keep you

on your toes.

Perhaps we stillwho get paid - Hang it’s out because with people tell less you than men for doing the same work.

Nothing that you’re fucken fabulous, but also tell like make youyou’re want you feeling when unappreciated you’ve slippedto up and to stay in bed ‘just’ all day.awesome. You want temporarily

people who can give you feedback so Maybe it’s just because we’ve been 10 they’re not sycophants.

But attaught the same different notwant to be your rapedsoul but boys still time, youways don’t crushed haven’t rape That any timebeen you told havenot to to look upus? how to deep spell down, some men think they’re entitled to sycophant. Honest, but respectful. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even when we say no.

- If you’re struggling on an assignment and

your brain meats are trying to convince you Maybe we’re try all doing fuckedsomething up because you’re dumb, thatwe’re isn’t more likely taxing, to experience mentalto and so physically but still related the physical violence than men,essay and assignment.

Whenand I’mabuse writing a long trauma directly linked to the Idevelopment or whenisI was doing my thesis, used to start of anxiety, depression, and host of other off by going back to the startaand editing my mental illnesses. work that I’ve already written. This helps me build up the confidence to tackle writing Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are some new content. going to struggle more with their mental health men. Metal while you work. It’ll - Listenthan to Power drown out the negative voices and make If you help? Valkyrie, Call out or your friend’s you feelwant like atoknight, wizard. shitty misogynistic jokes. Even just saying that youjust don’t get it, orMonique you don’t findnot it Overall, remember: does funnythat one small awkward moment is think you’re dumb. worth something huge. Because suddenly, the in 4 women in the room that have Take1Care. been sexually assaulted? Feel just a tiny bit safer.

And that’s a tiny step in the right direction.

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Learn to load a fucking Soapbox dishwasher, bro

by Lara Dashfield

Renee Boyer

Maybe right now the closest you get to a dishwasher is a pair of rubber gloves and some sunlight dish soap (sounds like a rad Friday night to me!). But one day you’ll finish uni, get a job and if you’re lucky enough to have an old, rich relative (good luck with that), you might even buy a house and live with another grown up. And if you don’t want to piss that other grown up straight away, you need to learn one simple skill. How to load a dishwasher so it actually washes the fucking dishes.

Doesn’t sound so hard, right? Try telling my ex-husband that. Notice I said ex?

Apparently, loading a dishwasher is one of those life skills we need to be teaching in high school, because so many people are just so ridiculously bad at it.

If you just throw the dishes in any old way, don’t be surprised and confused when the dishes come out still coffee scummed, food crusted and marmitey. I’m guessing it’s at least partly because people don’t know how dishwashers work. Hint: it’s not like waving a wand and yelling ‘scourgify’ - dishwasher stacking is a science, people. The basic

explanation goes a little something like this: the whirly helicopter blades underneath each shelf spin and spray water up into the shelf above. That means that if you stack stuff in a way that the water can’t get to it, it’s not going to get clean. If you don’t believe me, there are a bunch of YouTube videos where people have put GoPros inside their dishwashers, so you can watch them in action. Go on. You know you want to.

And actually, if you make sure the water from underneath can get to all the stuff, there’s not that much more to it. Glasses, cups and big utensils on the top shelf, plates, bowls, and cutlery on the bottom. Stack like with like. One plate per indent, the spaces are important (see above). Don’t put sharp knives in blade up unless you’ve caught feels for a staff member at the local A&E. Oh, and like your lightweight mate at Bar 101 on $4 shots night, don’t overload it.

through a load of dishwasher cleaner. Or if you’re feeling all smug and organic you can achieve a similar result with a cup of vinegar and a sprinkle of baking soda.

Look, it’s just not that fucking hard, all right?

You’ve a university student; put some of those brain cells to use and make your mum proud.

" If you just throw the dishes in any old way, don’t be surprised and confused when the dishes come out still coffee scummed, food crusted and marmitey. "

Your grandma will tell you you have to wash the dishes before you put them in, but unless you’ve nuked lasagne cheese onto your plate, you just need a quick rinse and you’re all good. When the thing starts to smell like your 15 year old brother’s bedroom, chuck

SICK BURNOUT BRO

17

NEXUS

PUORO / 音乐

Get pumped bro Tys Paterson

Now, this is for the enthusiastic gym lovers who need a little bit of musical ecstasy to liven up their day, whether that's before or after a workout to get your blood pumping. I've been an advocate of trying to listen to music for the last 3 months almost everyday at Unirec and have found that these satisfy my adrenaline.

Don't Make - 8Ball & MJG This is a banger, but don't act like a psychopath when you hear these bars.

Bringing back the 2000's crunk Lil Jon vibes, this song makes you want to shake your body. My suggestion? Find a boxing bag and let loose to this song. Or honestly, just do some lifting as it's still powerful either way. Warning: parental advisory, explicit content.

Checking U - Dillon Nathaniel If you thought I would just bring out a 125 EDM playlist that generic gyms play all the time, think again. But, I'm not a hater, so last but not least, we should praise the EDM category. This ties in with electro/dubstep and techno which is just beautiful; it's so different to most of the techno I hear, even if it's simplistic to an extent. If you just wanna rave in your head, this is gonna work, providing energy until the very end of the song which will leave you in a rush. You can use this with all workouts, but mostly lifting would be good for this.

18 N.09 / V. 55

The Wave - Amorphous Feat. Brandy & James Fauntleroy I found this song by just letting my Soundcloud play random songs, and this brings back the Timbaland/Aaliyah vibes of the early 2000's, which I love. I would say that you could fit this song into any area of working out – matching the lyric, "ride the wave". The song is so simple yet diverse, leading beatboxing with drums and whistles without fucking up Brandy's beautiful vocals. Also if you haven't seen the show Moesha, Brandy at her finest, what are you doing with your life?

Watch n' Learn - Rihanna For the ladies, can't leave them out. This song is hella underrated and honestly just a banger that I couldn’t NOT add it. The genre fits dancehall & reggae matched with r&b, somehow working its way into a trance tune. I would say that you could just run to this for cardio, but honestly who said you couldn't twerk or dance to this?

Hardcoreness - Brodinski The title says it all; a heavy metal and trap sounding beat, combined to make you want to just stomp or yell and let all your energy go. This would be more appropriate for cardio and specifically sprinting on cardios. But please make sure you drink water.

访谈 / MĀRAKERAKE

NEXUS

Coast Arcade Jak Rāta

Nexus: Where does your name come from, Coast Arcade? Is there some deeper meaning behind what it means?

Coast Arcade comes from us wanting to have a name that was easy to spell and remember. The first time we practised together, we all put a list of words together that we liked the sound of and trialled a heap of the combinations to see what we vibed with. When we got to Coast Arcade, we were like… yes… that's the one.

Nexus: How would you describe your sound? What sort of genres do you float between?

Our sound is mostly Indie Pop Rock with some twists of punk and surf in there. Basically, anything fun, energetic and vibey is our goto! Our music is heavily guitar-based, and so if you mix that with some strong kiwi vocals, you get a pretty fun and unique sound.

Nexus: What brings you all together? Is there some sort of link or you just though ‘fuck it, leshgo’?

Haha, at first, it was a fuck it, let's go moment just to jam through the last year of high school, but things progressed pretty quickly, and now we are playing awesome gigs, gearing up to release, and the best part is that we are all best friends. We have a strong collective drive to push Coast Arcade as far as it will go. Nate (who joined us about a month ago) and Chris are brothers, and Thom is basically Bella's 2nd sibling (and besties with her younger brother) so we all just fit together like a weird blended family. It's fun, and we wouldn't change it for the world.

Nexus: If you could pick a dream festy lineup, who’ve we got?

Hold on; this might get a little interesting. It’s hard not to include every bloody band ever, but: Spacey Jane, Kings of Leon, Pearl Jam, The Beths, Daffodils, Arctic Monkeys, Sam Fender, Coast Arcade (of course), Harry Styles, Beach Bunny, Adele, Wallows, Loyle Carner, Bloc Party, Broken Bells, Lucy Dacus, Ruby Fields, Wetleg and the list goes on and on Nexus: Everyone’s favourite foods, go!

That's like all we do at practice… eat lol. Pasta, Maccas, Pizza, sushi, doughnuts, Carrot cake and boba tea.

Nexus: Any local artists that you’re frothing right now?

Ahhhh, so many! It’s hard to pick. Apart from the ones we mentioned on our festy lineup… Park Rd, Flaxxies, Mako Rd, Lips, and Dick Move to name a very small portion of the many talented artists in Aotearoa right now!

Nexus: What can we expect to see in the future for Coast Arcade?

We hope to have our long-awaited debut single out in June, and from there, we want to pump out some tunes, play some sick gigs and see where we end up! Also might find some merch in amongst there ;)

Nexus: What would be your dream as a band? Where do you see yourselves heading?

We have plenty of goals to keep us going, but the overall dream target for Coast Arcade would have to be being a successful touring band. We’d love to do a stint in Aussie and the UK and continue to live and breathe music. We want to create tunes that people love for any moment in their life, whether it be a road trip, holiday, breakup…. just all of the moments that come with being alive!

SICK BURNOUT BRO

19

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

I was walking home last night when a stranger approached. They were tall and skinny (lot’s of skin). I had never encountered such a person in my life. I shouted, “What business do you have here, wretched one?” To which they hunched down and whispered, “Communism doesn’t work.” The way I recoiled and went wee-wee-wee all the way home. I lay on my bed, their words burning my ears. After some time I realised, I was mad. That statement couldn’t be further from the truth. Too many times do people on Facebook say, “CoMunIsM iS BAd” or “This socialist-communist-tyrannical government is evil,” There’s so many wrong interpretations of communism and people don’t know what it means.

So it was there, in the deepest depths, where this fate came upon me, and I accepted it: educating you on the triumphs, the epic highs and lows of communism. This begins with defining communism in a non-gatekeeping way, making this knowledge available to all.

Because there’s nothing worse than reading Instagram comments like, “Communism is destroying our democracy”, when communism is, in fact, not the culprit for democratic decay.

" So what is communism? " It can be tricky to define because it has many definitions. I define it as a social system which can govern our way of living. I say ‘can’ because we don’t live in a communist society. Communism pushes for a classless system. That would mean the end of billionaires and the poorest no longer paying the most tax. Communism aims to abolish private property such as landlords and individualised landowners. So we aren’t a communist country because we have both of these: a class society (lower, middle, high class) and private property (farmland or housing being treated as investments, to name a few).

There is more to defining communism. Communism hopes to end all labour. In a modern context, that means the end of the 9-5 and a goodbye to the concept of money. Now, I know what you’re thinking - no money??? The idea of a moneyless society isn’t that farfetched. Sure, it’s difficult to imagine nowadays because this world is interconnected and dependent on transactions. But history has seen cultural groups flourish without a dependence on money. The relevance of communism and a moneyless society is increasingly important. We have some of the highest living costs New Zealand has ever seen. Saving money is a struggle. Surviving is expensive.

But that’s because this modern way of living is antonymous to communism. We’re deserving of a better lifestyle, of which can be achieved through communism.

There is more I wish to say, but I’ll stop this brief definition of communism here. I should note that this article isn’t just glorifying communism. Countries throughout history have used communism (improperly) to fuel wars and gain power, losing lives and cultures.

I’ll discuss those topics eventually, as they do not entirely fit the definition of communism. But for now, meditate on the sweet ideals of an alternative future.

22 N.09 / V. 55

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

Philosopher Bertrand Russell once said,

“ There is much pleasure to be gained from useless knowledge. ” So I’m here to bestow upon you five science facts you probably didn’t need to know. You probably won’t have found these in your SciPad or Campbell’s Biology (for you, poor first-year biologists), and there will not be a quiz on this at the end of the semester. So sit back, relax and learn about the bizarre world we live in.

The colour magenta doesn’t exist. You may think, well why is there a printer ink for magenta or why was one of the dogs from Blue’s Clues is called Magenta? It is what is known as an extra-spectral colour, meaning it doesn’t fit the typical red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet spectrum, where each colour corresponds to a wavelength of light. Magenta doesn’t have its own wavelength.

Your brain instead averages red and blue light. This should produce green light but the brain doesn’t like that so it creates the colour magenta.

Australia, home to earth’s most weird and wacky creatures. The wombat is a fluffy marsupial that lives in burrows and, wait for it, poops cubes. That’s right. Their poop is square. Why you may ask?

Scientists only just figured that out in 2021. Wombats have a finetuned digestive tract that subtly moulds the broken down plant bits into a cube. Once excreted, the wombat puts these around its home to mark its territory and attract a mate.

NEXUS

Have you ever stepped outside after the rain and inhaled that wonderful damp smell of wet dirt? This is known as petrichor and results from bacteria in the soil, which produce a compound called geosmin. This compound has a very earthy odour and is also found in beetroot. Most animals find it toxic and avoid it, but a microscopic organism known as a springtail is attracted to it. The springtails eat the bacteria and help spread its spores throughout the soil, in a similar way that bees transport pollen between plants as they look for nectar.

Water usually has three very separate physical states. We have ice, the solid state; water, the liquid state; and water vapour, the gaseous state. Everyone knows that ice forms below 0 degrees and water boils at 100 degrees. However, if you have a temperature of 0.01 degrees and reduce the pressure to 0.6% of atmospheric pressure, you will get the triple point of water. At this point, water exists as solid, liquid and gas simultaneously. Melting (solid to liquid), freezing (liquid to solid), boiling (liquid to gas), condensing (gas to liquid), sublimating (solid to gas) and depositing (gas to solid), all happen at the same time.

Bananas are slightly radioactive. They contain potassium, 99.99% of which is stable. The other 0.01% is potassium-40, which is unstable and every 1.25 billion years, half of it will decay into calcium. So technically, bananas are radioactive. However, don’t panic. It takes 10 million bananas to cause significant radiation poisoning. With the world record being 8 bananas eaten in a minute. At that rate, it would take two and a half years of non-stop eating bananas to do any damage. I don’t know about you, but I have better things to do with my time.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

23

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

Sex isn’t an antidepressant* *Unless it is

Welcome to your weekly, government mandated session with Dr. Sex. Hope you’re doing okay and recovering from a, I’m sure, very hectic o-week. But the afterparty blues are starting to set in, morale is low, and you’re leaning on the only crux you know. Mindless hookups with Tinder matches from last December, anything to fill that hole. The idea is appealing, I get it, and knowing you won’t have to deal with seeing their face (or the back of their head) again is screaming your name. And I’m not one to let you know that you can’t be out here dicking down anyone who responds with a winking emoji to that 11pm ‘u up’ Snap. Though understanding that the hole that’s formed within you can’t always be filled with the nearest dick or titty that had a nice smile and Farmers perfume on, you need to fix the problem internally before external sources invade.

Storytime. I’ve been you in the past, aimlessing looking through dating apps in the hopes of matching with an eligible bachelorette / bachelor for the night. The copious amounts of starting banter, followed with the inevitable exchange of socials as you prepare to send those glorious solicited pictures of your private bits. It’s a tale as old as time, true love – for the night. Once you finally do meet, the buildups become real as you realise that you have to undertake the things you said you would. “Gonna fuck you till you’re wet like the Pacific” doesn’t always end that way, but oftentimes it’s whiskey dick and the 3 minute jackhammer until you go soft and profusely apologise. Or just the 20 minute, “fuck I usually don’t have any issues cumming” or “promise it’s nothing to do with you, you’re hot as.”

But wait, is it whiskey dick or undiagnosed mental illness? I’ve personally not been the recipient of libido problems from alcohol sources, but antidepressants stifling my ability to finish? You betcha.

24 N.09 / V. 55

Either way, realising that there’s a deeper problem should be your first move. It’s also not a definitive answer, mental health, to the inability to climax while fucking. It’s more just a possibility that you should consider.

There’s also some major benefits to having sex, it’s just fucking fun.

A study conducted in 2013 found that 15% of 173 respondents associated the word “happiness” with the word “sex." In other words, when asked to describe happiness, 173 of the respondents would likely use the word “sex” as part of their description. It’s an obvious answer as to why we associate happiness with sex, as we release endorhpins in a euphoric haze as we cum. But what about post-nut clarity? Or post-nut depression? Why do we feel that way?

Don’t ask me, because fuck knows. And like I’ve mentioned plenty of times, not a fucking doctor. There’s some science to it, some articles that I could trawl through and give you an answer as to why those emotions happen. In fact, I did and your brief explanation is Postcoital Dysphoria. A common illness shared mostly among women but affects men also. Some symptoms of PCD include: tearfulness, sadness, anxiety and depression, irritability and feeling unsatisfied . The more you know I guess?

What I’m trying to get at is this, sex doesn’t solve the problem everytime. It’d be a blatant lie if I’d said that I haven’t used sex to cure my undeniable urge for mental stability, but I’ve come to realise that engaging in meaningful sex is the way to go, and it’ll help you understand your body way more. Moral of the story is that you should be out here fucking someone if that’s your vibe. But what you shouldn’t be fucking, is your mental health. Be balanced and wear a condom bro. It’s just that easy

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

Coming from a poor background, in my family and neighbourhood, I’ve allowed for some of the darkest and saddest music to comfort me. Some people just like to feel sad – and that was me as a teenager. I’m not sure what attracted me to sombre music, I guess I just felt like pop didn’t portray the realistic side of my surroundings and upbringing.

At a very young age I felt like I was in perpetual existential crises, beginning mostly at the start of High School. Music has always been a means of coping, with certain songs allowing me to escape and disappear. That’s honestly what I’m here to talk about today, songs that allowed a sense of false reality. That being said, there’s a wide range of artists that moulded my sense of inner-being and also shaped me into who I am today, but these are a select few.

Going to op shops, looking for vinyl and experiencing music just by ear was fine in achieving that sense of nostalgia but coming to University, learning music theory has evolved and helped me detach from these feelings I had of the music and just enjoy the music. I still think about those emotions sometimes, with some songs bringing the memories of childhood sadness back (promise I’m chill now).

So I’ll share with you the few that really helped me through my “existential crisis”.

NEXUS

Drake - Take Care Okay, Drake kind of seems overrated, but I would sleep to this album every night (honestly just the chill songs) as they provided me comfort enough to deal with whatever was going on. Aubrey Graham really knew what he wanted to do in this album, and I promise it’s not as depressing as you think. Although he did get hella memed for being too soft… Nevertheless, this is a masterpiece of hip-hop/rnb, so if you’re going through something right now, I’d suggest you take a minute and just listen to this album.

King Krule - 6 Feet Beneath The Moon.

I’ve been listening to this album for fucking ever man, and there’s something about this guy that just really gets inside your head. But in a good way? Through dissonance and reverbed guitars, to loud af drums and just sudden madness, Archie Marshall and his band find your nerves and hit them hard. I would suggest listening to the album at night, or going for a walk around the block to really get where this guy’s coming from. No doubt one of my favourite artists.

Any Lo-Fi soundcloud user

Frank Ocean - Channel Orange This album, along with Earl Sweatshirt’s Doris and Tyler The Creator’s Wolf (they all collabed in 2012) really shaped me at the time. Reiterating that I was a misguided, rebellious teen just trying to bring the hardships of life together through music, this album helped me through my darkest times. Channel Orange is a masterpiece as it challenges contemporary society in what it can and can’t be, while also maintaining its maturity. Nothing could beat music in 2012-14 as they really helped adapt the music that you hear now. Have a listen to these 3 albums; you will see how they all relate to one another and appreciate how some guys are just trying to bring together their audience.

When I started making music, it was mostly Lo-Fi, but now that it’s recently blown up, I’ve moved to mostly r&b – but don’t forget your roots. Lo-Fi has always placed me into this sort of 90’s nostalgic trip, somewhere I felt I belonged. There’s that joke of “I was born in the wrong generation”, and Lo-Fi gives the impression. There’s so many different genres of music to help you understand yourself. Whether it takes you to a very dark hole, or to the gates of heaven, there’s something for everyone. Some Lo-Fi artists are perfect for relaxing or just studying. If you’re searching for that vibe, look up bsd.u, hm surf (produced for doja cat & ugly god) and grimm doza (produced for xxxtentacion & wifisfuneral). You’ll soon find your sound, like I hope I’ve found mine.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

25

NEXUS

Maybe just don’t be racist?

Hoata Rāta Recently there's been something playing on my mind as a trawl through the many media outlets that decide to broadcast news that they find important to tangata whenua. News that feels empty in nature, quotes that leave much to the imagination as their readers lay dormant behind keyboardsm attacking those featured in the articles. I am of course discussing the nature of Māori Tauranga councilman, Te Pohue Rose and his recent encounter with blatant racism at the hands of pākehā.

Let's start a discourse about the portrayal and understanding of mataora, tā moko and its significance for the Māori people. I understand it's polarising, I understand that it's not something that you're used to looking at. I can even understand that it's a little bit jarring for you to comprehend that anyone would have a culture that differs from your own, but that does not give you the right to point, nor stare, nor even make comments about markings on one's skin. Especially those who are tangata whenua, indigenous to the land that your ancestors decided to rape, pillage and steal from.

E aha ana koe?

Local Māori man, Te Pohue Rose, was on the receiving end of such discrimation, words harsh enough to cut but he fought back through his ability to kōrero and perhaps help them understand his decision to get his mataora at a young age. The strength that it takes to be able to make a decision like that is one that shouldn't be taken lightly. And here's where the concern and anger lies within these hallowed words. Those pākehā decided that they thought they had the rights and ability to tell a Tāne Māori that his birthright was disgusting, and would impede on his future. But this is not new, this isn't something that rarely happens- but rather an occurrence that's been going on for far too long and being ignored wildly as a form of harmless discrimination. I mean, call it what it is: racism.

One of the most prevalent issues we have in ‘New Zealand,’ is lighthearted racism and allowing it to just continue existing in a society that should have and should be more developed than we are. We find it really easy to look at our mates across the pond, Australia, and joke about their racism and not understanding the needs and cultural differences of the indigenous people. But when will the common New Zealander recognise that those problems are still very much relevant in our everyday societal expectations of who Māori people are? We can be and we are just as racist as those we point our fingers at and mock in a childlike tone, not understanding the absolute irony in the words that we speak.

I'm gonna leave you with some food for thought. Have you ever looked at someone sporting a mataora or a moko kauae, and thought yourself, “faaaar they look fucking weird?” I'm not saying that you're part of the problem, but you certainly aren't part of the solution.

26 N.09 / V. 55

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Disclaimer: The name was chosen by the Ētita, much to the dismay of the writer.

The unbearable weight of being a sports fan!

The unbearable weight of being a sports fan!

The notion of burning out is one an athlete knows all too well. Whether it’s the G-Force tax on a Formula One driver's body, or the 180 games in a season a Major League Baseball centrefielder can play in a single season, the fatigue is real. That is why physiology and sports psychology are key to ensuring a modern athlete maintains physical and mental performance.

The same can’t be said for the sports fan.

It is physically and emotionally exhausting being a sports fan. The investment of your time is one thing, but the real killer is the hope! Hope is a powerful drug. I have taken almost every other drug in my life and none of them has made me think the Vodafone Warriors could actually win a championship.

But every now and then in the dark recesses of my mind, a nagging voice whispers softly, “this might be our year.” The Sharks, with two fewer men on the field convincingly beat them, and two weeks from now when they get a narrow one point win over a misfiring team I will hear that echo again: “this might be our year.”

It is faith in evidence as yet unseen and it plagues us all. The Celtics sweep the Nets and in my head, that same siren song calls, “maybe this will be our year”. It won’t. We don’t have a deep roster and Steph Curry still exists. But I don’t care, because I have hope, and hope is a mother fucking drug!

Hope defies all reason too. Manchester United signed Varane, Sancho, and Ronaldo and in my head, I thought “our midfield is terrible, Harry Maguire can’t catch a cold, and we have no obvious style. But something still called me like a siren song saying, “how can we lose?” Then we lost. We lost so

fucking bad they will write obituaries for this season. We became unrecognisable.

And at the deepest moment of my despair and rage for the subpar performance of a team, I am way too emotionally invested in them announcing a new coach for next season. And I thought, “maybe that will fix everything.”

Being a sports fan drains every emotion, every spark, and every ounce of energy from you. It doesn’t matter if your team are the most storied in history, a scrappy underdog, or the bookies' favourites. Hope keeps you hooked.

Once hope is seemingly extinguished, we temporarily transfer it to something else.

For the last few months, I have wasted hours hoping Liverpool lose because the only hope I have left is that they don’t win a treble (or a quadruple). In the end, we feel the void in our souls and, like any good junkie, we look for our next fix. We wait for news of off-season moves, trades, and contract renewals. Will the Phoenix keep Piscopo? Can the Black Caps batting lineup put a successful run together? Why don’t I spend time with my family anymore?

Sports fans are addicts!

Every single season we burn ourselves down till we have nothing left to offer to our friends, our jobs, or our group assignments, because of something we had zero control over that we didn’t participate in but that we have convinced ourselves defines our very identity. And just when we are completely reduced to a lifeless and depressing shell of our former selves we hear that careless whisper once again: “you won’t believe who the Warriors are looking to sign…” and we are alive!

SICK BURNOUT BRO

27

NEXUS

MAHI TOI / 艺术欣赏

Crystallized fragments of a feeling.

Fossilized shards of past, present and future.

The ever evolving begins to stagnate,

and you turn to stone in my mind.

Disappointment Lily Bradley

28 N.09 / V. 55

Dr Gaurav Sharma MP for Hamilton West

43 Pembroke St, Hamilton Lake (07) 8 37 38 29 gaurav.sharma@parliament.govt.nz /gmsharmanz @gmsharmanz /gmsharmanz

Authorised by Dr Gaurav Sharma MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

Wishing you a great academic year ahead

EVERYBODY

OFF IT’S 75%

BUSIT.CO.NZ | 0800 205 305

You read that right! If you’ve got your University of Waikato concession loaded onto your Bee Card, your bus and train fares are not just 50% off, they’re 75% off throughout April, May and June!

0800 205 305 tehuiatrain.co.nz busit.co.nz

Add your University of Waikato concession NOW at busit.co.nz/fares

NEXUS

AROTAKENGA / 点评

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness Movie | Tehana De Klerk

47%

Before I start inevitably shit-talking this film, I should make it clear that I’m a huge Marvel fan and surprisingly enough, I do know what I’m talking about. So, I’ve decided that I should warn you about the chaos that is Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Also, spoiler warning because I’m not holding back.

understand that Wanda used chaos magic among other things, and that the Darkhold made her more powerful, but seriously? What should’ve at least been a grand fight only lasted like five minutes.

And don’t even get me started on Wanda beating Charles Xavier with telepathy.

This film is, without a doubt, absolutely mid. What was supposed to be an impressive story and stand as one of the greatest instalments of the MCU that would further enhance the franchise ended up being a total shit-show. In simple words, you follow a scared teen and a love-deprived sorcerer across the multiverse while a psychotic mom-jeans-wearing MILF is trying to steal said-teen’s powers so she can take her kids (who she created with chaos magic) from another universe. Honestly, this movie was a mess from start to finish.

The next thing that bugged me was how fucking sick the trailers looked. I think we were all hoping that Marvel’s What If Strange Supreme was going to show up like a total badass saying “things just got out of hand” followed by him absolutely destroying our Strange. Unfortunately, we were rather forced to endure a battle of the bands. Additionally, I think we were expecting more inspiration from Marvel’s House of M like what was shown in WandaVision.

Considering the multiverse was the main trope of this movie, it would've been cool to see Wanda emancipate entire universes in search of one where she could be happy with her kids whilst skillfully avoiding Doctor Strange’s persistence to stop her. I think that that would have truly created madness. We would have been introduced to many characters, old and new, and seen how their universes were affected by the chaos of Scarlet Witch. To be honest, I was hoping to see Deadpool, Quicksilver, Magneto, and Chris Evans as Human Torch (it would've been a funny cameo), but that was more of a selfish dream of mine than anything to do with the actual plot.

However, I can definitely see why this movie is appreciated by many people. The CGI was good for the most part, we got to see Scarlet Witch as a villain, and holy shit, the Illuminati. Reed. Fucking.

Richards. Bless Marvel for casting John Krasinski, Fantastic Four is gonna be one hell of a movie. But, I’m getting off track here, so instead I’m going to share the things that Marvel did wrong.

Firstly, we have the Scarlet Witch. There will be no Elizabeth Olsen slander here because I love her and think she’s an amazing actress, but the script did her so wrong in this film. There is no way that one character should be that fucking OP. You’re telling me that she is going to go against the Illuminati (a secret organisation comprised of the world’s MOST POWERFUL superheroes) and kill them all while barely breaking a sweat? I will admit I didn’t mind seeing Captain Carter bite the dust. However, one can only have so much power. I

30 N.09 / V. 55

Finally, is anyone else also really confused about how the multiverse works? From Loki, to No Way Home, and now to this, I’m extremely confused. It’s reminding me of how Marvel fucked up their own rules of time travel in Avengers: Endgame and I can’t comprehend anything anymore.

点评 / AROTAKENGA

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins Book | Hannah Petuha

NEXUS

94%

Calling back all YA lovers! A new dystopian movie is on the horizon.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes debuted in 2020. Collins' novel is an addition to the Hunger Games Trilogy, featuring the life of Coriolanuis Snow and his character arc on how he became the dictator of Panem. I feel as though there wasn’t enough hype for this book when it came out, so let’s recap.

I loved Collins’ world building. While this novel does not include Katniss, it honours her and the backstories of District 12. It subtly mentions her family lineage and the origins of the songs she sings. Panem, on the other hand, has just recovered from the Dark Days, and while they are the oppressors, it highlights the trauma of war.

The conflict between Panem and the Districts is as fresh as a wound.

You end up rooting for two characters in this novel: Coriolanuis Snow, and the tribute he must mentor, Lucy Gray Bard from District 12. The stakes are high and both of their lives are on the line. And when they start falling in love, the unthinkable happens.

I have always been a Hunger Games lover, so I was excited when Lionsgate announced that The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes will be adapted into a film next year. The cast has not yet been released, which adds to the tension and return of an iconic YA film. My advice? Re-read the Hunger Games trilogy again and then The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes! Reclaim the YA genre once again, and if you haven’t, join the fandom.

This Love Song | Nikki Van Dijk

90%

Calling all Swifties, she’s done it again! Just when we were wondering when she would release more re-recorded music, she released the re-recording of her iconic song, This Love!

We all know the original This Love was beautiful. As in, sunset-on-the-beach-ina-flows-dress kind of beautiful. But the re-recording? It feels ethereal. It keeps all of the soft and flowing elements of the original that we all remember and adore, with her voice being a lot more steady and smooth than the original. The words are much clearer which makes it easier to sing along to. She kept the beautiful guitar at the beginning and added some backing to them that kind of sound like singing bowls, which just adds to the ethereal feeling of the song. There is still echoing of the lyrics but it is much more legible this time round.

To put the song to the ultimate test, I played it for two people I know who are NOT fans of T-Swizzle (I know, but for now we will forgive them for this crime), and they really enjoyed this song too! They enjoyed the chill vibes of the song, and they enjoyed the unique sound of the song.

In short? Go stream it everywhere. Go watch it on YouTube. Go get your friends together and listen to it. Whether you’re a Swiftie or not, this is the song to vibe and dance to.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

31

NEXUS

WHAKANGAHAU / 娱乐

Don't quote me “I love you more than I can possibly describe,” - Bindi Irwin wrote to honour her mother Terri Irwin for Mother's Day.

“The point I was making was that if we look back to 1840, the Māori life expectancy was around 30 years. Today it is about 73.4. There or thereabouts,”

Crush of the week

- Shane Reti forgetting a cute word, like genocide?

Ncuti Gatwa

“I started getting really, really, really, sick… I was hospitalised for anaphylaxis a few times and I had some other stuff going on.”

A black Dr. Who? These old white men that inevitably are sitting at their keyboards jerking off to the anger of a black man taking the hallowed position of white guy in a box, shaking and vomiting at the idea. But you can’t touch that Rwandan skin bro. Ncuti is the GOAT and all of you are about to understand why as he destroys the role, handed down from the great Jodie Whittaker.

- Halsey revealing recent diagnosis and ailments post-partum, get well soon bestie.

“You know, I get it. You didn't like me growing up, but a lot of people like me now,”

32 N.09 / V. 55

Sex Education was just the start, all you nerds better give him the same energy otherwise it’s on site. I swear to god.

Twitter Treading

Clickbait Moodboard

- Tiffany Haddish on her bad bitch tings as per the norm.

娱乐 / WHAKANGAHAU

Diminuitive Post 1

2

3

Top 10

Shocking discovery as David Seymour’s skin suit rips The general public are left reeling as the ACT party releases their budget, revealing their nefarious plans to remove rights from anyone that isn’t white and has daddy’s money. ACT’s grand high bitch, David Seymour, has a momentary lapse of judgement as his plans shed a light on his lizard internal being.

NEXUS

Things you can do to combat burnout (kinda)

10.

Watch Heartstopper - Promise we’ll rattling on and on about it but you just need to feel those emotions fr.

9.

Have a feed - Make some good kai and feed the body while managing the soul.

8.

Talk to someone - As obvious as it is, just chatting about what’s going on can’t be that bad.

7.

Make a plan - Writing out what needs to be done can make the world of difference.

6.

Go on holiday - This is a half-joke based on a quick google. A fucking holiday, in this economy, criminal.

5.

Fat nap - Have a sleep and just fucking chill in bed; it’s hella nice.

4.

Marie Kondo that bitch - Start chucking out all the shit that doesn’t bring you joy.

3.

Hobbies - Even if it’s just something like leaf collecting, occupy the brain with other shit.

2.

Meditate - If you can be fucked, download one of those meditation apps and go to town.

1.

Have a wank - Come on now, I hope you didn’t come to list for definitive answers.

Exclamation of love is making radio waves (but on telly) For any of those who already feel alone and wanting to grind their teeth on the concrete, the Tāmaki Makaurau tradie professing his love for his partner has left singles everywhere feeling lost and depressed. Good for him I guess.

The sky is falling, but maybe it’s just global warming Thick ass, give 'em whiplash are lyrics that speak volumes of truth as fluctuating weather conditions leave students baffled as to whether a light coat is enough to fight the conditions or if a giant macpac puffer is necessary in the harsh weather environments.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

33

SNAPPED NEXUS

ATAPAKI / 学生体验

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap 'nexusmag' the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Collect from the SUB.

WINNER

34 N.09 / V. 55

D

PANGA / 益智游戏

星座运势 / WĀHEKE

NEXUS

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19

If you had a dollar for everytime you annoy someone, you would most definitely be a multi-millionaire by now. Does it seriously bring you joy to not know when or how to shut the fuck up?

You’re definitely the only one who’s actually going to have a good week. You might be a super emotional person and that sometimes freaks other people out, but you do you boo.

You’re beginning to look like a Tim Burton character with those bags under your eyes.

Get some rest… and some sun too because you’re looking unusually pale.

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22

Congratulations: you’re officially the main side-character. You don't get the spotlight, but you’re still the most memorable person that is always right in the least annoying way. Or maybe you’re just obsessed with being like Stiles Stilinski.

Please, for the sanity of all of your friends and yourself, stop playing Jack Harlow’s new album on repeat. You’re destroying the scarce amount of brain cells you have left.

You might need to stay in this weekend; the magic 8 ball said “definitely” when asked if you would embarrass yourself in town.

If you can’t survive a weekend away from getting on the piss… maybe get some help?

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22

Not gonna lie, you’re in for a shit week.

Expect your electricity to suddenly turn off, your water pressure to be shit, and to run out of toilet paper. Life is tough, and it specifically hates you. Lol, soz.

Do you remember that scene in Mean Girls when Cady Heron throws up on Aaron Samuels’ shoes at a party? Yeah… maybe stay away from the red solo cups and watch the movie instead of re-enacting it.

You’re never going to be the edgy, grunge, street style-wearing, 90’s aesthetic kid that you want to be. Clothes are damn expensive, so stop spending money that you don’t have.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

Do not walk outside if there’s a thunderstorm this week. Yes, you will get struck by lightning, and no, unfortunately you won’t get any super cool powers. And even if you did, you would probably be a sidekick.

Have you ever met someone who just had a slap-me face? Like, the look of them just made you so angry? No? Well, it’s your lucky day. The next time you’re in front of a mirror, say hi.

You’re going to have a mean as week. It might not be all sunshine and rainbows, but you’re going to be rewarded with something nice because you’ve been pretty cool lately… sike.

SICK BURNOUT BRO

35

NEXUS

PANGA / 益智游戏

Wordfind

Name: Created with TheTeachersCorner.net Word Search Maker

I X F I N B C B

R K H X Y T A G C E Q H

M Z W H X R O L J X M M L Q

A Q X W P U Z W T O F I X I I P

N D F V W O I T Z N X L V Y M Y M T

W E O K Q B E D Y Q K G H T V L I C A

BURNOUT TORN BOURN TURN ROUT BOT OUR BRUNT TON 1 4

K D E T M F U M B R Z M N Y V M X Z Y Z

P Y L X G H A I U B I A R I N F Z L N A A

Sudoku 9

7

9 5 3

E J U O W Y C B R E C N K X S B I O R R N N

R C N V C Q K N R A M U V B O V L O P C G R

B I R J X Q O B B T N U K T H C B E E K L A

T F M M T R U B B U R N T A H C Q Q B E K U O

L O R O O T M G T U B K Y X F G L A G T O N L

Easy

36

5 1 8 N.09 / V. 55 6 5

N P E R B F F Q B U H V S B H K N G T Z H J R

E O C L A Q I O M R M B U X H B E N T F D W R T J R B Z L U N C L T G O X 4 T I U7 K R W Q U 6 T

O S N T X B J Y S B X Q M V P O R X P Q U 5 F

n° 124621 - Level Easy

4 9 5 3

P I E S U K R H O A T J E B Z C Q I N A H 9 P

3

Y C E N G Z W T R C M Z O C L V S G Y W X

3

BRO ON

Z B O U R N U Q U O N Q B K D W R N F Q

Medium

1sudoku.com

J B R B F N M Z O Q X X L T J S K G

P D E U G V A U L A V N C D F R

D M I R Q R 1T 9P Q U O E 3Y B

4 2

U Z B O U T O R Y N F V

5

C J B G4 B7 F C O

6 1 5

9

8

3 9

1sudoku.com

5 1 4 1 8 4 3 6 5 5 8 1 1 2 7 4 6 8 6 4 3 6 9 3 2 9 1 9 7 5 8 Printing sudoku grids 6 2 3 7 4 4 7 5 https://1sudoku.com/print-sudoku

n° 124621 - Level Easy

1 4 8 1 2 8 4 9 6 5 3 7 3 1 2 5 1 4 6 8 7 8 7 2 1 4 2 4 1 8 6 5 3 6 9 3 9 7 5 8 1 2 3 7 4 4

1sudoku.com

A R U E O R K C B O D T F U O S E P W

6

3 1 5 8 2 9 3 5 9 OUTRUN 7 BURNT 4 9 TOUR 2 3 7 RUNT4 TUB 8 9 2 TURBO

BURTON BORN RUBOUT OUTBURN BOUT BUNT 1sudoku.com ROT ORB RUT 5 6

1 3 4 6 3 5 8 1 5 8 2 9 3 5 9 7 4 9 2 3 7 4 9 8 9 2 6

1sudoku.com

N Z R L M T T O U L N O T I N T R B O K T W N E B X Y O B G X T K E W 1 A U R 9B H C J C Q J P

A Z O N K O N P D C P Y Q R O U T H N N F N B

O I M A Y H R U L Z E X W R D J S T C T O G

Burnout Burton Outrun Torn Born Burnt Bourn Rubout Tour 9 6 Turn 5 3 1 Outburn 3 4 Runt 3 5 8 Rout 8 2 9 Bout 9 7 Tub Bot 7 4 9 Bunt Printing sudok 6 Turbo 2 https://1sudoku.com/pr n° 124621 - Level Easy Our Rot 8 1 2 3 7 Bro 9 4 9 5 Brunt 3 7 9 Orb 7 3 On 5 8 7 2 1 4 2 3 1 6 5 Ton 5 8 8 Rut 1

1sudoku.com

1sudoku.com

n° 223335 - Level Medium

5 7 6 7 5 8 6 4 5 5 19 3 9 9 9 7 7 4 3 7 73 2 5 4 3 1 6 85 7 5 9 4 2 9 3 3 7 18 6 2 6 7 1 4 9 3 4 5 6 4 1 1 5 2 6 7 5 9 4 3

n° 223335 - Level Medium

n° 129288 - Level Easy 1sudoku.com

Hard

1sudoku.com

6

9

n° 129288 - Level Ea

3 1

7

5 2 8 5 7 6

8

3

n° 213875 - Level Mediu n° 328241 - Level Hard

5 8 7 and find their solutions 8 by flashing 5 7 6 Play these 3 sudoku puzzles on your mobile 1 3 5 6 7 6 4 5 1 7 9 7 7 4 7 3 2 4 9 5 n° 124621

n° 129288

n° 223335

n° 213

益智游戏 / PANGA

70 by 20 sigma maze

NEXUS

Simple Puzzles 4 Simple People

+

+

Maze

Boggle

A

W

N

Y

R

P

B

O

P

E

O

L

Y

R

P

U Copyright © 2022 Alance AB, https://www.mazegenerator.net/ SICK BURNOUT BRO

37

Straight-up premium burgers in your neighbourhood ~ simple & fast.

Come say hello: 372 Grey Street, Hamilton East

What do you think of our

2022-23 Annual Plan?

Hamilton City Council’s 2022-23, Annual Plan looks at how we can deliver and fund what we said we’d do in Year 2 of the 2021-31 Long-Term Plan. We also check in to see if there’re any changes we need to make, to address what’s happening in our community and the impact any external factors are having on our organisation.

This year we have the major challenge that we didn’t foresee of increasing costs driven mainly by the high rate of inflation New Zealand is experiencing. We plan to cover this by borrowing more rather than increasing rates above what we set out in our Long-Term Plan, or by cutting services.

We’ve also identified a few additional projects to tackle emerging needs and issues.

You can share your voice at haveyoursay.hamilton.govt.nz

STARTUP SPEAKER SERIES

BE INSPIRED TO LAUNCH YOUR OWN BUSINESS IDEA HEAR FROM AMBITIOUS ENTREPRENEURS WHO HAVE DEFIED THE EXPECTATIONS OF THEIR AGE TO BUILD WORLD (AND SPACE) CHANGING BUSINESSES. YOU'LL GAIN INSPIRATION AND SUPPORT TO LAUNCH YOUR OWN IMPACTFUL VENTURE. MAY 16 AUCKLAND UNIVERSITY 17 WAIKATO UNIVERSITY 18 CANTERBURY UNIVERSITY 20 DUNEDIN STARTUPSPEAKERSERIES.COM

23 AUT 24 VICTORIA UNIVERSITY 25 MASSEY UNIVERSITY