Nexus 2016 Issue 03

N.03 / V.48

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

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THIS PRICE IS ON THE DOWN LOW

CONTENTS

CONTRIBUTORS

01.

EDITOR

EDITORIAL

Brittany Rose 02. LETTUCE

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

03.

UNI NEWS

DESIGN

04.

NEXUS NEWS

Olivia Paris

07. SPORTS

design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITOR Lyam Buchanan

08. CARE

lyam@nexusmag.co.nz

09. ENTERTAINMENT

MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

12. REVIEWS

james@wsu.co.nz

14. ARTS

CONTRIBUTORS Jolene Skeen

14. AUTEUR

Sean Hurley Dr. Richard Swainson

15. COVERED

Jared Wooldridge Georgia Pullock

18.

GUIDE TO THE WORST FLATMATES

20.

WAIKATO? WHY NOT!

22.

INSIDE STORY: HALLS OF RESIDENCE

24.

YOUR SPACE

Joshua Morris Peter Dornauf Megan Cullen Onyx Lily Indula Jayasundara Ingoa Muna Shalini Guleria Bronwyn Laundry

26. COLUMNS

Vitamin D

29.

COVER

PAK 'N SAVE HEAD CHEF

Sean Petersen 30. SNAPPED PHOTOGRAPHY 31.

BLIND DATE

32. PUZZLES

Leighton Trent Clarke ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine

ISSUE 03 14 MARCH 2016 STUDENT LIFE

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL STUDENTS – LIVING THE DREAM BRITTANY ROSE

You know that ad? I think it's for carpet. You know the one. It's in fast motion, and there are all those shots of drinks getting spilt on the ground, snacks getting stomped into nylon weave by totally irresponsible youthz having a great time partying. It's targeting those boring adults who do things like re-carpet their rental property. The message is that no matter what you throw at whatever brand of carpet this is (who gives a shit, carpet's carpet), it is so durable that it can even withstand a student flat party.

I know that we go on a bit about partying and shit, especially in our ORI2016 issue, but I truly don't believe students can be essentialized as irresponsible, young, drunk fuckwits. We're so much more than just that! And some of us don't even drink. Stuff may be running endless stories about NZ's 'Binge Drinking Culture', but not every 20-something downs a couply Scrumpy on a three-times weekly basis. Me, for example, I'm more likely to drink 4 bottles of wine over the entirety of a week — see? Responsible.

Student Life may look like it's all about partying, but those who exclusively party eventually cease being students because they don't pass any fucking papers. Fun fact: StudyLink are super un-keen on you failing too many papers.

We can definitely redefine what the phrase "student life" actually means. In fact, due to factors beyond our immediate control, the reality of student life is being redefined for us by external forces such as the economy and policy. Think about the cost of housing, cost of electricity and internet (neither of which are a luxury by any standard), and minimum wage being bloody low for us hospo/retail workers.

To properly student is to commit time to attend lectures, workshops, labs and tutorials; it is to dedicate time to reading all required texts; to complete Moodle tasks (while remaining patient with the shit-useless platform and incessant email notifications); complete assignment drafts, revise them, proofread a final copy before leaving it to sit for a few days and revisiting it again, with fresh eyes — not to mention the labourious task of referencing. Meanwhile you still have to feed yourself, make human contact with your loved ones, maintain friendships and possibly even blow off some steam and/or relax every once in awhile. No wonder we turn to drink; student life is pretty fucking hectic.

This week we delve into your lives, students of Waikato. Who does University of Waikato actually consist of? What's it like in the Halls, and most importantly, how do you deal with terrible, hairy flatmates?

Britt

1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

LTOETTHTE EUDICTOER

YIK YAK SR YELLOW BINOCULARS

Every week i pick up a nexus with a glimmer of hope that it wont be trash. Every week i am let down Well, maybe you should write your own fucking magazine then, fussy – Editor

Lettuce is the Letters to the Editor section of Nexus because If you

DEAR FIRST YEARS

say "letters" quick enough in a super Niu Zeelund accent it sounds

OLDER PERSON

like "lettuce". Clever, no? Probably not.

Nexus is a student magazine: our writers are students, and our

I hate you all

readers are students. Because we know that students are an

And stop feeding the fuckn ducks!

opinionated bunch we want to give you a place to share said opinions (even if they're questionable).

Ducks are the worst, well, ducks and law students – Editor

Comment on our Facebook page, on our Instagram, or even Snap your lettuce to us. Just use #lettuce and we'll put you in print, and respond to your comments.

YIK YAK JR

Either that or email lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

BLUE OARS

Nexus is pretty trash

EVER HEARD OF TORRENTING?

You're pretty trash – Editor

ANON

We pay large amounts of money to attend this university, yet they ask for more money that we, publicly broke students, can't afford to give, on textbooks and course readers that will sit gathering dust until the following

SLUT SHAMMER ANON

year where we beg them off on Facebook for cash to afford some alcohol for O week. All my course related costs have gone on food and rent, I can't

I'm writing in with concerns about the advertisement on the back of

afford for the "super cheap" prices of textbooks x4 per paper. Fix this.

last weeks nexus issue. I liked the ads, I'm all for recycling, but I'm not

Please. I'm broke and living off toast and stealing alcohol from my flatmates

that cool with the connotations. Is it just me, or is this some kind of

who don't guard the fridge carefully enough.

subliminal slut messaging because both of the girls are naked? Both

We feel your pain man, maybe we should set up a textbook swap event – Editor

boy-bottles have clothes on, or at least their genitals are covered.

The girls have high heels and hair pieces, and totally bare bodies. Not cool Hamilton City Council, not cool.

It should be a bottles right to chose #Freetheglass – Editor

DAMN DANIEL! ANON

CANADIAN BABY PANDAS ANON

Dear Daniel Farrell, God forbid nexus run a completely valid story about education policies.

How dare they comment on issues relevant to students. Bastards. I only read the first paragraph of your letter to the editor last week, and got bored. You sound like you’re sitting at home, licking the dildo that touched Stephen Joyce, and crying about the good old days that were.

N.03 / V.48

this week. Tiny baby pandas. Twin baby pandas. Furry bundles of joy (he even named one of them Joy!). This man can do no wrong.

If you loved this you’re going to love our 40 pages of Pandas hugging world leaders edition in July – Editor

Eewww – Ed

2

BREAKING NEWS: Justin Trudeau hugged and named two pandas

STUDENT LIFE

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Engineering student Omer Hazer was one of 40 people selected to be a part

ONYA

VENTURE UP

of Venture Up, a start-up programme in Wellington to help young entrepreneurs.

Here he worked with five others to create influencerland.com ROWING TO RIO Five Waikato students have been named in the New Zealand Rowing Olympic Team: Zoe Stevenson (pictured), Caleb

TACKLING POVERTY IN NZ

Shepherd, Isaac Grainger, Kayla Pratt and Ruby Tew.

Last year, FASS student Karina Liddicoat was selected for the McGuinness Institute's National Workshop on Tackling Poverty. Now she’s doing the national road tour, exploring ways to reduce poverty in New Zealand.

BAY PHD WINS SCHOLARSHIP Tauranga PhD student Emma-Leigh HELPING THE NEXT GENERATION

Hodge has just won a $3000 Acorn

Hillary scholar and masters student Kristie Baillie, who attended

Foundation Ted Wadsworth scholarship

the 2014 Commonwealth Games in Scotland, is passing on her expertise as Morrinsville College’s athletics coach.

and a $80,000 Waikato Doctoral Scholarship to fund her research on cyberbullying.

Photo credit: Steve Edwards/Fairfax NZ Full stories available on the University website. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

A+B SEMESTER GYM MEMBERSHIPS

CHECK YOUR TIMETABLE

Student Health offers all enrolled students

UniRec's special A+B Semester Student

The allocated rooms for your classes can

confidential and professional medical

Membership is only available until

sometimes change, so make sure to check

services on campus. Most services are free

31 March. Visit unirec.co.nz to join online

your timetable online at

once you register. Find out more at the

or pop in and see the team at reception.

timetable.waikato.ac.nz for up-to-date

Student Health building next to the Gate

information.

1 carpark.

REVIEW OF GRADE

GET JOB-READY

INNOVATION STATION

If you’d like to apply for a Review of Grade

Internships, graduate programmes and

Do you have an idea for a business or

online, applications are due by Monday 21

employer visits are ramping up for 2016.

project you want to get off the ground?

March to the Student Centre. If you need

Make sure your job application stands out

The Innovation Station (former Station

help or advice call 0800 WAIKATO or

by going to a Career Development Services

Cafe on Hillcrest Road) has facilities,

drop into the information desk on Level 2

CV writing workshop on Tuesday 15 March,

mentors and networks available to help

of the Student Centre.

11am-12pm, Level 1, Student Centre. There

you make it happen. Email

are plenty more workshops on offer — visit

uwossup@gmail.com to find out more.

waikato.ac.nz/sasd/careers/workshops. shtml for more info and session times.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

NEED A DOCTOR?

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS RISE OF THE HOUSE PARTY BRITTANY ROSE

If you were one of the lucky residents of Hogan or May street this February then

The prevalence of house parties — especially those requiring police presence —

you were subject to some of the largest house parties Nexus has seen. The WSU

would suggest that students did not stay on campus, and that they did not stay

and the Waikato Times received letters complaining about student behaviour,

within the care of the University.

which in isolation is absolutely nothing new but the question Nexus wants to get to the bottom of is “was this because of the ORI2016 or in spite of it?”

Transport provided to town was scheduled immediately following the last set time at Big in our Backyard, which in some cases was as early as 8.30pm. This

WHAT THE UNIVERSITY SAYS....

was much earlier than the traditional midnight journey into town which some

The University extended orientation to a fortnight this year and ran the Big in

students we spoke to attributed to the idea of going to a house party on Snead

our Backyard event. There were music acts, a movie night and a comedy night

or Hogan to kill time.

from 5pm on weekdays between 22nd February and 5th March. However a University spokesperson stated there is "absolutely not" a causative link between the extended Orientation and the anecdotal increase in destructive, antisocial,

"The main goal for bringing Orientation forward was to help improve students' experiences of transitioning to University."

"The social activities organised on campus were designed to provide students with an on-campus social experience and all measures were taken to ensure student safety throughout the orientation period. Security, adherence to responsible service of alcohol regulations and providing transport to and from town ensured a safe environment for students."

"Student safety was always our highest priority; we take this responsibility seriously and students were appreciative of this."

"The early set times were designed to encourage students to stay on campus and within the care of the University."

4

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STUDENT LIFE

became a subject that was addressed by the WSU President Indula Jayasundara, in his Prez Says column last week.

"It is extremely disappointing to know that a few students managed to ruin the party for a good majority." Indula said.

However the University intends to continue with the two week format to "... ensure students are transitioning well into university life. The format for 2017 and beyond will be determined by reviewing the successes of this year with staff, students and the WSU." Although it was felt that "the high attendance at the various information sessions and to the 30-minute 'taster' mini lectures was a high point."

“Students got to meet their lecturers and lecturers got to meet their students. For first-year students just being on campus earlier meant there was an opportunity for them to learn to find their way around sooner."

PHOTOGRAPHY: LEIGHTON TRENT CLARKE (NOIZERADIO, LEIGHTON'S LIFE)

couch-burning behaviour of local students at house parties.

The resulting damage, complaints and police presence at these house parties

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

WHAT THE STUDENTS SAY....

After speaking with the University, Nexus decided to take its questions to you, the students to figure out if you had a contrasting view.

Meet our Nexus House Party Panel

Jaydos, 19 – Biotech

Kayla, 19 – Science

Hayley, 19 – Graphic Design

We believe one of the reasons ORI2016 has been extended to a fortnight is to get partying out of the way the week before classes, has this been successful or has it led to more house parties?

Jaydos: Fuck no, it’s led to more house parties. Instead of a 7 day bender it’s now a 14 day bootcamp for your liver.

Kayla: Definitely more house parties, it didn’t change O-week at all. There was definitely more hype in the first week of ORI2016 though.

Hayley: More house parties. Why would they even think it would get the partying out of the way?

Are house parties dangerous or harmless fun?

Jaydos: It depends who you’re talking to and what you define as danger. I find them a shit load of fun, the more danger the better. Nothing like a couple of Ciroc funnels and the occasional noise complaint. Gotta love a pre-town couch burning.

Kayla: It depends on the ones you go to. They’re harmless if it’s not your flat, if you’re the host you’re in for the long haul. I’d have to say they are generally harmless anyways.

Hayley: Nothing but harmless fun.

What's the most hectic party you've been to this year?

Jaydos: My little sisters’ kayaking party was pretty lit but making a first year emu a can in front of the cops and Police Ten 7 was also pretty lit. Shoutouts to riot squad on Hogan.

Kayla: Beach party on the corner of Hogan and Cameron.

Hayley: Meet the Freshers. Quick shoutouts to Kean xx Have you witnessed any house parties getting out of control to the point that the Police were involved?

Jaydos: No, the cops just turn up to party as well.

Kayla: Yes, even though I disagree that it was out of control the police still got involved.

Hayley: Yes I have, I even matched with one of the cops on Tinder.

What was this experience like?

Jaydos: Financially draining, ego boosting madness. With a hint of alcoholism and cheeky Monday morning Cruisers.

Kayla: It was filled with drunk arguments but I’m thankful I didn’t end up too hungover.

Hayley: Beautiful. Sorry Mum, I am now an alcoholic and a seasoned Tinder warrior.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

magazines are now theoretically beholden to the University for a Service Level Agreement or funding. Although up until now we didn’t have an actual example of the censorship in practice.

“It is vital that student magazines be editorially independent from the universities that they exist within. They should not be influenced by the wishes of the university. Student media is unable to do its job of being a watchdog over the university if it is being editorially influenced by the university." Said Jayne.

“The way in which he (Jordan) addressed the situation was unprofessional and inappropriate, some would say it is akin to institutional bullying, and he did not seem to understand the concept of editorial independence nor the nature and history of student media” We asked them if they would have changed anything in retrospect but we kind of knew the answer already.

“We still would have published it for the following reasons: it was a harmless piece of satire, the piece was successful in its intention to present the Chancellor in a way that would be appealing to students and a 'fun' attempt to answer the question 'Who even is the Chancellor and what does he even do?'.”

NEWS THE SALIENT POINTS BRITTANY ROSE

All of this puts us in a really uncomfortable position for two reasons. The first is we are realising that for the very first time in our 50 year existence we don’t genuinely hate Salient. The second and slightly more alarming reason is we have been making fun of our own Chancellor and every VC for decades now and we’re just a little scared.

So we had a quick chat with our pal Vice-Chancellor Neil J Quiglington to make

Salient Magazine of Victoria University recently got in trouble over a satirical

sure he wasn’t planning on taking away our money tree any time soon

interview with their Chancellor — the whole thing escalated from disapproval and hurt feelings, to censorship to a demand for an "unreserved" apology.

Big Q what is your reaction to all of this?

Besides finding the whole thing amusing, we publicly support their decision to

As a Vice-Chancellor, or a Chancellor, it is important to strike that delicate

stand by their satire. We spoke to Salient’s Editorial team which in turn scared

balance between caring what people think and having a thick enough skin to

the shit out of us so we decided to check in with Vice-Chancellor Neil Quigley.

ride through the occasional bit of constructive criticism or light-hearted satire.

Personally I was surprised that the article on Sir Neville created such big waves.

Co-Editors Emma and Jayne of Victoria University’s Salient Magazine were asked to apologise for offending their Chancellor, Sir Neville Jordan, in a piece of satire.

Is this incident endemic of the issues with SLA's where the funder effectively

They were then asked to amend that apology and add the word “unreservedly.”

gets to decide if they don't like the content?

At that point they decided to stop playing nice.

I hope not.

“It (Salient) serves to keep an eye on the actions of the key players within the university, as well to report on how government and local body policies are

Nexus has been saying for years that Salient is a disgusting travesty but we

affecting students and their futures” Emma told Nexus.

feel compelled to defend them on this. As an ex-Vic lad what do you make

Sir Jordan then labelled Salient “disgusting" and "a travesty,” which led Nexus

of the standard "satire" in Salient?

to consult our own legal counsel about copyright as we have been saying that

I read Salient for 19 years and, much as you might find it hard to believe, it has

about Salient for years.

become a much better publication in recent years. By this I mean that in and around its current mixture of advertisements, sex features and profanity, there

“We did not anticipate that the Chancellor would have such a strong reaction to

is actually some serious journalism and satire. Going back ten years there was

this piece, it was not even a consideration that we made, nor did we anticipate

less of the serious journalism and satire and a much greater focus on personal

that he would have such a lack of respect for our editorial independence. If

attacks on management and determined campaigns to trash the reputation of

he was offended by our piece of harmless satire, we hate to imagine what his

the institution more generally. By comparison, Nexus sets a high standard and

reaction to the article written by The Spinoff was.”

reflects the less ideologically politicised environment that I have come to see is a

The bigger problem Emma and Jayne face is that they were advised by the

really positive feature of Hamilton and the Waikato.

is also said to have applied pressure on the Editors not to make the circumstances

In the diary this year we referred to you as Quigsy, Quiggles, Q-Ball and

of the incident public.

our personal favourite "Adult Harry Potter" We also called your predecessor "Emperor Palpatine" and your boss "Uncle Jim" and the "potato King" we're

The problem is that there were no legal grounds to make a request. Under any reasonable test of defamation, Salient would pass with flying colours.

Unfortunately though the overriding factor is that it's a financial test, as ever since 2011’s Freedom of Association Act, formerly independent student 6

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STUDENT LIFE

still cool right?

My children especially liked “adult Harry Potter” so yes, we are still cool. I can’t speak for Uncle Jim.

PHOTO FIRST APPEARED VICTORIA UNIVERSITY

chancellor to remove all web and print copies. The student association (VUWSA)

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

HIGH FIVE FIVE ATHLETES WHO WERE SERIAL ADDICTS JAMES RAFFAN

Just to be clear, we're not celebrating these five bragging sports guys. They're pretty gross about it.

FIVE EDDIE IRVINE The mercurial Irish F1 Driver once said “I’m Playboy (Jensen) Button’s Playstation. He builds models I fuck them.”

FOUR DENNIS RODMAN

SPORTS OPINION NICK'S STROKE OF GENIUS

When you have as diverse a list of exes as Rodman the fact that you and Kim Jong Un are friends is absolutely the least interesting thing about you.

JAMES RAFFAN THREE GEORGE BEST The white Pele used to say he went missing before games Saying Nick Willis can go fuck himself seems a little redundant now. Willis thrust himself into the spotlight last week by becoming New Zealand’s first self diagnosed sporting porn addict. Honestly we find the whole thing a bit of a stretch. This was the same Nick Willis who at the climax of a career was an Olympic Silver Medalist who thanked God over and over again after he finished.

Ok, that’s enough masturbation puns...for now. But there are a number of things that genuinely bother me about the story the least of which was his wife saying “they will beat the problem together.” In the space of a week, Nick went from one

“Sometimes Miss World, sometimes Miss Brazil.” He was famously asked, "How close to a game have you had sex?" He replied, "Does half-time count?"

TWO MIKE TYSON We know sex addict is not what you think of when you hear his name... or his voice.

of our most Christian “praise god” athletes to a self diagnosed porn addict. In

ONE WILT 'THE STILT' CHAMBERLAIN

his final article he suggested no one should ever look at porn because there are

His lawyer once famously said of his reported antics, “Some

people being sold into sex slavery, a point that may have been better received had

people collect stamps, Wilt collects women.” Boasting that he

he not been fully outfitted head to toe in Nike at the time.

had sex with 23 girls in 10 days legend has it that Wilt slept with

To me this isn’t a story about porn or masturbation it’s about relevant vs irrelevant and that is where Willis become a real wanker. One of the facts of life is that it is

20,000 in his lifetime. At 7.1ft, if his body was even roughly in proportion it goes a long way to explaining it.

much easier for sporting celebrities to get laid. Tiger Woods literally had hoes in different area codes. Wilt Chamberlain put up scoring records on and off court and bathed in the glory of an Olympic Silver Medal, Willis should have been more popular than chlamydia at a foam party. But alas over time the silver medal fades and poor Nick left the spotlight.

It’s cynical to suggest Willis claimed to be a porn addict to creep back into the spotlight but he must have started to feel like a sock, curtain or moist towelette used up and discarded. He went from someone with a very personal problem and a heartwarming if not slightly amusing story to someone who became preachy and condescending about the role of pornography in society. Had Willis left it at “I have a porn problem” I would have been fine but “We have a porn problem” is a value judgement from a guy who had been completely forgotten about until last week.

The final problem I have with all of this is that there are genuine sports stories that aren’t being written. The Breakers losing, the Warriors in crisis, and Maria Sharapova (the subject of a number of people’s “addictions”) being labeled a drug cheat. I can’t talk about any of these because the jokes about a guy who won Bronze and Silver but never quite hit his golden stride are too easy to make. I don’t know if I hate Nick Willis but I definitely hate myself.

7

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

MEET THE DIRECTORS JOLENE SKEEN The readings have begun! For those lucky buggers that escaped summer school, I bet the motivation levels are slowly coming back into play... and those of us that tackled T and S… we just need to keep trooping on!

PREZ SEZ NZUSA AT UOW

Introduction time. I am a fourth year Law student, and have dabbled a bit here and there in Japanese, Political Science and Chinese. I’m new to the Board, and am keen to continue on in the legacy of the WSU. I’m also a bit of a Batman enthusiast and love sports!

In the coming weeks the Waikato Students’ Union will announce our stance with the New Zealand Union of Student Associations (NZUSA). We felt that amidst ongoing disputes, and a change

A little bit of advice for the first years still trying to find your Uni niche, just

of administration on both ends that it merited a conversation

remember GET INVOLVED! The best memories you make this year will be the ones

between Linsey Higgins (newly elected President of NZUSA)

where you go out and INTERACT with other people (yes a foreign concept... I

and your WSU Board for twenty-sixteen.

know)! At the end of the year, these will be your 2016 highlights and not those Friday nights streaming Game of Thrones or Suits in your dorm!

Fingers crossed for an epic year ahead!

Last week we invited Linsey to our Board meeting and asked her to sell the NZUSA position and strategic vision to our Directors.

Linsey raised some interesting points encompassing a unified student voice and lobbying on issues that matter to students on a national scale. I acknowledge that NZUSA is still an unfinished article they have worked hard behind the scenes to correct a

CLUBS WAIKATO UNICOL AFC

number of the issues that lead to our withdrawal. Rather than discuss history I want to highlight for you a couple of ways I feel NZUSA could add value to our constitutional vision and objectives of the strategic plan.

If you are interested in playing football, Waikato Unicol AFC are seeking to return to Northern League in both the Men’s and Women’s

Collaborative opportunities on a national level.

leagues and are seeking players with a competitive and professional

Focus 3: Partnership (WSU Strategic Plan 2013 – 2016)

approach to playing and training.

My view is that the WSU needs to do more to actively be a good

We have Men’s teams entered in Federation Premiership, Federation

neighbour both nationally and in “Our Backyard.” As a collective

Championship, Waikato B Division, two teams in the Waikato C

voice both with the members of NZUSA and especially our friends

Division and a final team in the D Division. In the Women’s Leagues

at the Student Association of Wintec I believe we have a lot to

we will enter into the Women’s Federation and have a development

offer. Students have more issues that unite us than divide us.

team in the Waikato B Division.

Access to research on student related issues, concerns and Men’s Premier, Reserves and Development as well as the Women’s

feedback which helps us better the services offered to you.

Premier team train Tuesdays and Thursdays; Women’s Development,

Focus 2: Involvement (Strategic Plan 2013 – 2016) Being an “…

Men’s C and D Division teams train Wednesdays on the university

advocate for every student’s rights; to enhance every student’s

field under lights.

wellbeing...” (WSU constitution, Section 3)

Register here: www.unicol.org.nz/register/

In the last two years I have been amazed by the ability of our small team of committed staff. They have made massive

FEES FOR 2016 New Player $250.00 (paid by May 1st $200.00) Returning Player $200.00 (paid by May 1st $180.00) Sunday League $120.00

improvements to the way we deliver Clubs, Advocacy, Representation and Experiences like O-week. What we know is that 8 staff and 11 directors can only do so much. Having access to dedicated researchers being able to show national trends and highlight potential ways we can better serve students.

8

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STUDENT LIFE

Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE

BEST OF THE WEB DANCE CHOREOGRAPHERS WILLDABEAST ADAMS YOUTUBE.COM/WILLDABEAST When it comes to hip hop choreography, WilldaBeast Adams certainly lives up to his name! With over 279 million views, he has proven himself to be one of YouTube’s top dance choreographers. Will has also built an empire with his company, immaBEAST, which is internationally recognised as one of the biggest hip hop dance brands.

MISS JANELLE G YOUTUBE.COM/MISSJANELLEG Known for her unique use of facial expressions, Janelle

TRENDING ON TWITTER #BADSEXIN3WORDS haley birthday @feb20franta · Mar 8 #BadSexIn3Words garbage disposal dick 2

4

Joey @JoeyLovrek · Mar 8 #BadSexIn3Words Joey stop crying 12

64

Joe @jcorrado19 · Mar 8 #BadSexIn3Words Here's your teeth 8

24

Ginestra is a leading lady in the world of hip hop dance choreography. She specialises in concept music videos, which have a total of 15.26 million views. With appearances on Glee and America’s Got Talent, Janelle dominates the

Adam Cuffe @adamcuffe · Mar 8 #BadSexIn3Words shoulda swiped left 45

127

industry as one of YouTube’s most successful dancers.

MATT STEFFANINA YOUTUBE.COM/MATTSDANCE If you haven’t seen Matt Steffanina’s choreography to Rihanna’s song, ‘Work’ then you’re missing out! Matt is a frontrunner when it comes to hip hop choreography, featuring on The Ellen Show and So You Think You Can Dance. With a huge 488 million video views on YouTube,

Chris McPhail @ChrisRGMcPhail · Mar 8 Please insert coin. #BadSexIn3Words 28

65

Arrested Development @bluethquotes · Mar 7 I blue myself. #BadSexIn3Words @midnight 944

2.3k

he’s a choreographer that you simply cannot ignore.

TRICIA MIRANDA YOUTUBE.COM/USER/PATRICIAPINK4U Adding a flirtatious flavour to her dance choreography, Tricia Miranda is one of the most sought after personalities in the world of hip hop. Her triumphs include choreographing for Beyonce, Demi Lovato and Kendrick Lamar. Tricia’s talent is undeniable and the popularity of her YouTube videos shows this with over 137 million views.

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME BLONDE POP STARS

WHAT’S HOT 1. The lovely people at Bongo Cafe

“I’m not any color I’m just me.”

LADY GAGA A VIBRANT SHADE OF BULLSHIT

“Yeah I smoke pot... I ain’t no hippy” MILEY CYRUS SELF-CONFESSED STONER

“It’s doodle time!”

BRITNEY SPEARS KEEN ON THE D

2. Police Ten 7 3. Revealing Snapchats sent to nexusmag

WHAT’S NOT 1. Thermodynamics 2. Cheesy toes 3. NZ Herald's incessant coverage of The Bachelor.

9

Te Ara Tautoko: Māori Student Workshop Series Join us in K.G.07 on Wednesday 9th March at 4pm for part one of four Māori student workshops, to see how YOU can set yourself up for success in 2016.

What to bring: Course outline, assignment briefs, timetable, paper, pen and your taringa/ears Why should you come? Why shouldn’t you?

Who can attend? All Māori students - the more the merrier!

Be prepared to actually learn something but to also meet new peeps and get small gains at the KAI table.

Don’t just DO uni... do it WELL! Workshops held in KG.07 @4pm on March 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th For more information contact tepunatautoko@waikato.ac.nz

WHAT’S ON WEDNESDAYS YOUR FRIENDLY LOCAL TAVERN

SPIN THE WHEEL

Open from 10.00am, seven days Corner of Cook & Grey Streets,

Between 5.00pm and 6.00pm WIN great prizes

Hamilton East Courtesy Van Available

TUI QUIZ NIGHT

0800tavern (0800 828376)

TUI DRINK SPECIALS ON THE NIGHT

Starts at 7.30pm First Prize: $100 bar tab Second Prize: $40 bar tab

www.theeastside.co.nz

BUSIT for FREE to the

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Flagstaff Shopping Centre

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Hukanui School Westfield Chartwell

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Fairfield Intermediate in

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FREE buses will run between 4.15pm and 7pm from the Park and Ride sites and special event bus stops along the routes and return after the Nightglow has finished.

Frankton Primary School

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Grosvenor Park, Rototuna – roadside parking, Thomas Rd from

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Nightglow Park and ride site Transport Centre

Travel with us www.busit.co.nz

0800 4 BUSLINE 0800 4 287 5463

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University of Waikato

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Park and ride locations and map key Bus stops to event

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Five routes will run between key Hamilton locations and the University of Waikato for the Balloons over Waikato Nightglow.

This year we’re delighted to bring you buses from The Base and Hamilton East as well as all the usual locations. More buses will be running on the routes, so plan ahead and let us do the driving.

Waikato Stadium

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www.facebook.com/busitwaikato

If rain postpones the Nightglow until Sunday 20 March there will be park and ride services available on that day instead.

NEXUS MAGAZINE

BOOK MISS PEREGRINE’S HOME FOR PECULIAR CHILDREN

BY RANSOM RIGGS GEOGRGIA PULLOCK

I first stumbled across Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children in the suggested section on bookdepository.com. I was struck immediately by its creepy cover art — an old black and white photograph of a young girl floating in the air. Upon reading the description, I decided that it was definitely the book for me, and had the good fortune of being gifted it by my mother for Christmas.

This being Ransom Riggs’s first novel, he certainly took a chance and came up with something we haven’t really seen before. As a result, his fantastic novel was on the New York Times Bestseller list for a total of 63 weeks.

It doesn’t deliver the terror of Stephen King, but it provides a gripping narrative and an incredibly interesting read. The novel follows a young man named Jacob, who is lead on a thrilling journey across the world to uncover the mysteries of his grandfather’s life.

The most spectacular part of the book? The beautiful glossy photographs

MUSIC THE AGE OF INTELLECT

BY PROTOMARTYR SEAN HURLEY

scattered throughout. Riggs spent years collecting strange, unexplainable, old photos, and then he wrote his book based on them. Spectacular and beautiful, but definitely the creepiest part of the book.

Though this book may be considered young-adult fiction, I would recommend it to anyone in a heartbeat. Love, time-travel, adventure. It has it all. And if that weren’t enough, there are two more books AND a movie (directed by Tim Burton!) due to

Protomartyr are a five piece post punk group from Chicago,

be released this year.

signed to the label Hardly Art records. The baritone vocals of Joe Casey have been compared to the likes of Ian Curtis (Joy Division) and Nick Cave. Their newest release, The Age Of Intellect, features a unique blend of almost psychedelic spoken word vocals, warm guitar tones in combination with tight, rattling bass lines that make for a unique blend of poetic noisepunk inspired pop music.

MUSIC LOVE MESS SEAN HURLEY

The song ‘The Hermit’ was a standout from one of my favourite albums of 2015. The high energy start to the song goes balls

There’s punk and then there’s fucking Punk. I’m no expert on genre but I’m going

deep, the guitar tones sound like a machine gun, the background

to say this some pretty Nek Lev shit. This is the Love Mess EP, it’s four tracks long,

sampling sounds give a modern twist to the postpunk sound

and costs $2 on Bandcamp.

that has been around since before the 1970s.

Love Mess are a four-piece, high energy punk band based in Auckland, with some

In my opinion ‘guitar bands’ are a dying breed among the iPad

ties to the Hamilton scene. It’s possible you will be seeing a lot more of them

generation where every derp who doesn’t listen exclusively

around the mighty Waikato in the near future.

to The Edge has access to a myriad of talented underground artists across every genre. Electronic artists seem to be constantly re-inventing themselves and producing some of the most innovative music of all time. Bands like Protomartyr are proof that the expression, innovation and passion that can be

This isn’t the sort of thing I normally listen to, however I can definitely see the appeal in this kind of music, and I have immense respect for the talent required to play like this. This EP is very unique, the bass is spine rattling and the guitaring is intense, but there is also a certain amount of dynamics and restraint shown throughout the EP.

poured into a couple of planks of wood with wire attached to

My personal favourite track was Daylight’s A'wastin’', the angry bass tones combined

them can still compete with the most talented Macbook Pro

with crazy drumming and piercing vocals make for a great listen, it sounds best

musicians of today.

turned up to 11 on a good set of speakers at 3am. Basically, the louder the better.

If you are a walking Hamilton stereotype who listens exclusively

Love Mess will be playing in Hamilton at Smakdown on the weekend of March 18 at

to Tool you will probably still like this band. You can stream this

the Meteor. I thoroughly recommend checking this band out, I will be live tweeting

album for free on Spotify.

the event assuming I don’t get killed in the pit. @nexusmag on Twitter

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Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

MUSIC HYMNS BY BLOC PARTY SEAN HURLEY

The latest release from the band most well known for their critically acclaimed 2005 release, Silent Alarm, returns from their indefinite hiatus with a brand new lineup, building on their unique sound. This album is the band's first full length release in four years; 2012's Four marked the end of an era for the band after the departure of drummer Matt Tong and bassist Gordon Moakes at the end of 2015. This album will get a lot of hate for not being a Silent Alarm 2.0, — one of the reasons I like this band so much is because they are constantly re-inventing themselves despite requests not to by many critics and I respect them for that.

This album combines the electronic dance sounds from A Weekend In The City with the slow burners from their last EP The Nextwave Sessions. Their lead guitarist Russell Lissack has said that no synthesisers were used during production and that he relied heavily on his pedalboard, and the song ‘Living Lux’, with it's overpowering reverbs and delay effects are evidence of this. By far the most harsh and non pop-y song on the album and my personal favourite track from the record. If you liked this song you would like Deerhunter's Cryptograms album, if you like this song you probably found the rest of the album pretty boring.

FILM SPOTLIGHT

I wouldn't call Hymns a bad album, but it seems a little uninspired compared with

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

is an okay release but I feel like that is mostly due to the nostalgia of one of my

Bloc Party's other releases, as a fan of A Weekend In The City, and even Four, this teenage favourites releasing a new album.

Spotlight just won the Academy Award for best picture, so I thought I might check it out and see what all the fuss was about. I can tell you, the fuss is well earned. It’s a pretty damn way, much of which is down to the skill of the fantastic cast.

BOOK COLLECTIVE BRIGHTNESS

Which is especially good, considering the story the film tells.

JOSHUA MORRIS

good film, and it delivers its story in a very real and honest

It’s not a cheery film. Spotlight deals with a group of investigative reporters who are digging into reports of child molestation by priests and bishops in the Catholic church in Boston, and it’s presented in a very authentic way. There’s none of this grandstanding and speechmaking about hope and justice here, it’s all about a team doing a job, which happens to hit them all personally, given how important

What Editor Kevin Simmonds has done with Collective Brightness is gathered together pieces from queer writers all over the world. The idea is to reconcile religious/spiritual life with the modern experience of LGBTIQ individuals. From Vishnu to the Madonna the anthology draws on religious imagery and characters to emphasise the layered and diverse nature of identity.

and predominant the church in Boston is. Spotlight feels

In one piece The Homosexual Book of Genesis, Joseph O. Legaspi retells the

almost like a political thriller, as the team begin unravelling

story of Genesis reframing the narrative from Adam and Eve to Adam and Adam.

the horrific nature of the priests' crimes, and the coverup

Legaspi avoids Biblical parodying and instead transforms the story in a way that

everyone seems involved in.

is constructive rather than damning. Each piece thankfully is not beholden to that

There are two gripes I have. With all this investigating, there are a lot of names we hear, but it can be a task to remember who they’re talking about. Also, I would liked to have seen some more of the fallout and aftermath of the investigation, particularly in regards to the victims and the church. But on

age old trap of rhyme and is written with a preference for the crystalline image and musical phrasing. Regie Cabico’s Soul Bargaining is a stellar example of this musicality, “By soul, I mean God make me a wind instrument so I can toss myself into the East River. The street lamps are howling for the first/ slivers of light. By light, I mean falling off a bridge wrapped in the arms of a God who knows your name.”

the whole, Spotlight presents one of the more awful aspects

My personal favourite piece would have to be God and the G-Spot which

of the Catholic church, in a raw and honest look at how a

through sinuous and richly laden phrases details the narrator’s first orgasm, “and

city and a church can turn a blind eye to such terrible crimes

like pulling fat shiny trout out of the river she pulled the river out of me,” this

against children. Be warned, it is depressing.

comparison between sexual release and spiritual awakening displays a sex positive view of religion which is both a welcome rebuke to shaming religious traditions and a comforting promise of what the future can hold.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Arts

ARTS NOTHING COMES FROM NOTHING PETER DORNAUF

The University of Waikato was founded by visionary

This is a case of saving money to keep one poor: poor

individuals back in the heady days of the early 1960’s. Part

spiritually, culturally and intellectually.

of that farsightedness was to establish an institution of learning that recognized the value and importance of the arts. At its inception money was made available for the establishment of commissioned sculptural pieces to be

I took myself along to see the latest offing with its rather apt title, “Nothing Comes from Nothing”. Three were New

up to support the fostering of the arts which saw the

Zealanders, one local, the others from Christchurch and

founding of a University art collection. Funds were made

Tauranga. The other three were all born overseas: Australia,

available each year for significant purchases so that today

South Africa and England. A cosmopolitan lot.

textile, digital and mixed media.

themselves, was about the notion of process. The artists were at pains to reveal the development of their practice, their means and techniques, via the display of preparatory

to the university's mana as well as providing an environment

sketches and even video recordings of the actual creation of

that contributes to a fuller and richer learning experience.

the work, using time-lapse photography.

But there have been recent changes. There have been recent

Next week, I’ll take a detailed look at their practice and the

cutbacks. The grey utility men have been at work. The Arts

final outcomes of the work in their use of paint, polyurethane

and Cultural Committees have both been dissolved. Funds

etc. In the meantime take time to have a look at the show

for acquiring works of art for the collection have been axed

at the Arts Academy on campus. While you’re doing so,

and the programme for the Calder and Lawson Gallery in

think about what is happening today to your university at a

campus has been seriously scaled back.

cultural and spiritual level.

During a recent encounter with a Catholic priest the

3. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)

conversation turned to the new film Spotlight, a drama

Karl Malden's fighting preacher provides a moral centre in

about

that

this classic about corrupt unions. Though the film is better

uncovered cases of sexual abuse by Catholic clergy. The

known as a political allegory, it's religious elements are

articles published by the Boston Globe led to numerous,

equally heartfelt. The scene where Malden's Father Barry

similar investigations around the world.

is pelted with rotten fruit after giving a defiant statement

The conversation got me thinking about other depictions of

comparing contemporary murder and organised crime to

Catholic priests in the cinema. In all of the following films

Christ's crucifixion, is not easily forgotten.

the

2001/2002

investigative

journalism

positive figures:

4. RYAN'S DAUGHTER (1970) In a lushly romantic film which validates infidelity it is ironic

1. GOING MY WAY (1944)

that the most interesting and powerful character is Trevor

Bing Crosby became the second actor to win an Oscar playing

Howard's rough, no-nonsense priest. Howard's Father

a priest — Spencer Tracy was the first, 6 years earlier in Boys

Collins is the only one who understands exactly how much

Town (1938) — and he remains cinema's iconic cleric. Kindly

the heroine is a victim of her girlhood fantasies. Howard was

and paternalistic, Father O'Malley is a man of the world,

never better.

having both played sport and romanced women in his youth.

Not the least of his achievements are vocal ones: he leads the church choir by example, with a lilting crooner's voice.

5. CALVARY (2014) Managing to be both black comedy and religious parable this story of a priest who is called to account for the

2. DIARY OF A CATHOLIC PRIEST (1951)

Church's history of sexual misconduct and cover-up is

One the bleakest and most consistently depressing films

little short of a miracle. As Father James, a man whose

ever made, a tale of a friendless, drunken priest who

calling has come late, Brendan Gleeson makes for a world

struggles with his parishioners and his church colleagues

weary if witty and ultimately willing martyr. The climax

and who fails in most attempts to do good, it's nonetheless

packs a punch.

a harrowing statement of faith from the enfant terrible of the French art house, Robert Bresson.

N.03 / V.48

The focus of the show itself, apart from the works

Such a venture is what helps make people cultured. It adds

stocked by Auteur House, priests are memorable and mostly

14

Sad. More than sad.

A little later committees were formed and policies written

works of art comprised of paintings, carvings, sculpture,

RICHARD SWAINSON

four shows a year, unheralded without any official openings.

purchased and installed as part of the campus environment.

the University can boast a collection that includes over 500

AUTEUR POSITIVE PRIESTS

Specifically, the Calder and Lawson will be reduced to only

STUDENT LIFE

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

COVERED SEAN PETERSEN

Age: 22 Occupation: Photographer / Videographer What kind of camera/s and accessories do you shoot with: • Cannon 700D • Joby Gorilla Pod • 10-24mm Lens • BOYA shotgun microphone When you are shooting, how much of it is instinctive vs planned?

80% Instinctive 20% planned Describe your style in 3 words Simple, sophisticated, strange Mac or PC? What's Mac? Where can people find you online? www.youtube.com/realitytoseanpetersen How often do you take nudes?

When the Mrs takes one and sends it to me first.

Which is never.

So never....

15

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE GUIDE TO THE WORST FLATMATES MEGAN CULLEN

Communal living, an ignored housework roster and split expenses are a significant aspect of student life. There are few students who won't, at some point, flat during their time studying. Even fewer who escape the experience unscathed. Luckily, Nexus is here to support you through the hairy situations you might find yourself in as a student in a flat.

SITUATION PUBE-A-GEDDON You come home from class one night to discover your extremely hairy flatmate has had a go at ‘manscaping’, then headed out for the night. Black, curly hair covers the sink, the floor, and the mirror. It’s up the walls and there are even some on the ceiling. Chances that you could wade through the carnage to brush your teeth without it looking like you own a pubic-hair cat are zero.

Potential Solutions • Pour lighter fluid throughout the bathroom. Cover as much of the offending hair as possible. Light a match and toss it in. Just make sure you’ve got renter’s insurance. (Editor's Note: We do not condone arson) • He’ll wake you up at 4am stumbling around. Wait until he falls asleep, then shave off one of his eyebrows. Not only do you get to fill his bed with awkward scratchy hairs, you also get the added bonus of him looking like a complete douche canoe until it grows back in.

• Borrow one of uni’s leaf blowers to blow it all along the hallway into his room.

• Start shaving your legs and pits with a bowl of water in the living room. Bonus points if you sit down next to him and ‘accidentally’ slosh the filmy water on his knee.

SITUATION CASA-NOPE The theatrics coming through the wall are so loud you can hear them through your headphones. You didn’t think it could get any louder, but last week your flatty found a woman who makes him sound like a mouse — and she’s over every night. Their joint ‘covert’ nudie runs to the shower are getting more frequent, but somehow they never seem to improve the way they smell.

Potential Solutions • Find the cheesiest romantic song you can, and whenever they start up,

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STUDENT LIFE

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

play it full volume on repeat. The most annoying and repetitive song would

get these from the Warehouse or Repco for pretty cheap). If he so much as

also work as an alternative.

brushes his little finger over your plate, leap out, sound the air raid horn and

• Invite a bunch of mates round. When your flatmate starts up, do your best impression of him, and compete with your friends to see who can be loudest.

• Call his mum then pretend she rang you looking for him. Make sure she’s on speaker as you walk down to knock on his door

scream like Xena, Warrior Princess.

• Hide all of the clean dishes in places he would never think to look, like the bathroom cupboard, in between clean sheets or in the freezer. You’ll never run out of plates, and if he complains, you can steeple your fingers together and say, “My how the tables have turned”.

• When feral cats are fucking outside my window and keeping me awake, I douse them with pots of cold water. As an experiment, see if this works for rooting flatmates. Snapchat results to @nexusmag SITUATION NIGEL NO PLATES

SITUATION WHITE-GIRL WASTEY Your flatty keeps inviting her vapid friends over. Their perfume is so strong it gives you a headache, and it lingers for hours after they’ve gone. They laugh so loud and so shrilly it makes the neighbour’s dog bark. They come round, get

When you moved into your flat you each bought five or six plates with you

drunk, binge watch episodes of Glee while singing along, cry because they miss

meaning there should be about 25 of the fuckers in the cupboard. So why are

their mum/cat/ex-boyfriend/credit card then vomit behind the sofa. They are

you eating off an ice cream container lid for the third meal in a row? Because your

100% more annoying than your kid sister.

flatty is pulling a Little Mermaid and stashing them all in the ‘treasure cave’ that is the space under his bed.

Potential Solutions • Buy a couple of whole flounder from Pak’n’Save. While your flatty is out, remove one of his drawers and tape the fish in behind them. Within two days he’ll be trying to figure out where the smell is coming from. Hopefully in his panic, he’ll get all of the dishes out from under his bed and wash them. If it all backfires, chuck another fish just under his undies. Give it a day then start screaming that he’s stashing fish in his room. When he denies it, go through his drawers in a rage so he finds them, then leave him to clean it up.

• Start putting any dish you use under his bed when you’re finished with it.

Bonus points if you can do this straight faced after he’s gone to bed. When he questions you on this, tell him you thought that was where he wanted the dishes to go, since he keeps putting them there. Then stand there and stare him down until he goes and washes them all.

Potential Solutions • Call a flat meeting, but let your other flatties know on the DL that they don’t need to go. Quietly explain to your flatmate that you’re not racist, but white people make you really uncomfortable, that you find them really intimidating, and you’d prefer it if she saw “people like that” outside of your home. Bonus points if you’re white yourself.

• Get a gas mask to wear when they come over. Death stare at them through the goggles as you walk to and from the kitchen.

• On a night you know they’re coming round, eat a curry, skull a soda, then go and set yourself up in the living room with Fall Out 4. Once they arrive, burp and fart as loudly as you can. You could mix it up by picking your nose and eating it. The ‘lounge takeover’ tactic works especially well if you don’t shower or change your clothes for a couple of days beforehand.

• Fake blood can be made using maple syrup or chocolate sauce and red food colouring. Spread it all over yourself, then hold a healthy amount in your mouth. Once they’re settled in the living room, stumble out and ‘vomit’ the

• Buy a bright red set of crockery. Clearly label each piece with your name and

blood all over the nearest narcissist. Apologise profusely and try to ‘clean’ the

“DO NOT USE”. You could even send a flat memo that your special plates are

blood off her with your extremely bloody hands. This one will probably cause

off limits. Hide in a cupboard close to the kitchen with an air horn (you can

a lot of screaming, so worth warning your other flatties about.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

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STUDENT LIFE

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE WAIKATO? WHY NOT! ONYX LILY

Student life might look like it's all about partying 18yos, but it turns out our

WE <3 WAIKATO

campus is filled with a diverse bunch of students. In a last minute research

The VC doesn’t like us to talk too much about the ‘park-like grounds’ because

frenzy, Onyx Lily consulted some students and some statistics to shed light

he thinks we should be proud of Waikato for other reasons, like our world-class

on the demography of the Waikato student body. Here's what she found.

teaching and research. This may be true, but it’s certainly much nicer to stroll around our green (and I don’t just mean the lake) campus than the smoggy

(Huge thanks to Amy, Julian, Karina, Laura, Stacey, Kimberley, Heni, Daynah,

streets of Jafa-land, and while paid parking is still something returner students

Patricia, Ge Bai and Anonymous x 3 for taking part in the emergency research!)

mutter about over a few beersies, it’s still way cheaper than it would be if we

Here in the Tron we cop a bit of flak for being a hicksville cow town famous for little more than a higher-than-usual rate of STIs, and a higher-than-usual number of National supporters (correlation or causation, who’s to say?). But the University of Waikato punches well above its weight in terms of research impact, and is ranked in the top 5% of universities in the world. Even on the new grading scale, that makes us an A+.

were an inner-city campus. In the last domestic student “barometer” survey, there was 93% overall satisfaction with the University of Waikato. Even Channing Tatum would be proud of such a satisfaction rating.

WHAT DO THE STUDENTS THINK? My highly scientific and not-at-all-last-minute survey of helpful class rep type people elicited 13 responses (thanks guys!), mainly from domestic

Research is of ever-increasing importance to unis, particularly research dollar,

undergraduate students from a mix of ethnicities. Almost half of the

but while academics may be the key ingredients of a university, students are the

respondents (6) are the first in their family to come to university, supporting

seasoning, the thing that gives a university its flavour.

my conjecture above – yay!

We can probably guess that Auckland students taste of flat whites and cubic

Most of the respondents chose to come to Waikato for either the availability and

zirconia, Otago students taste of beer and burnt couch, and Lincoln students taste

quality of the specific programme they wanted to study, or the location, because

of dirt and disappointment. But (at the risk of taking this analogy way further than

it was close to home (but not home), and a nice campus environment. All are

I meant to), what is the flavour of the collective student body at Waikato?

enjoying the social aspect of Uni, the friendliness of the staff, and getting to know a diverse range of people (aww, I’m getting all of the warm fuzzies!). While

LIES AND STATISTICS

there was some concern expressed over the difference between Tauranga and

The 2014 University of Waikato Annual Report (2015 isn’t available yet) tells

Hamilton campus experiences, in general the respondents were overwhelmingly

us that we had 12,323 individual student bodies in formal qualifications, which

positive about their experience at Waikato so far.

included 7,796 young’uns under 25. The Uni (and Gummint) like to count students by EFTS rather than individual bodies though, because even though they love your individual bodies, in a totally non-sleazy way, EFTS (equivalent full-time students) are how they count the monies, and they love the monies

Amy summed it up well in her response: “The University of Waikato offered the course I was interested in, it wasn't completely too far from home, the campus is beautiful and it isn't too cold here.”

more. By ethnicity, there were 4,443 Pākehā, 1.861 Māori, 1,012 Chinese, 517 “other

While my research for this article may be a little questionable, (given that Brittany

Asian”, 479 Pacific and 351 Indian EFTS at the Uni in 2014. And 2,237 EFTS hailed

gave me the assignment yesterday), it seems clear that we are cruising along

from the mysterious “other” ethnicity. Note, however, that ethnicity is by self-

happily in our melting pot campus (although a quick glance at YikYak shows we

identification and students can nominate more than one ethnicity, so tallying it

still have our share of rednecks). We have a beautiful campus, a friendly bunch of

up can be messier than a first year at Bar 101 in O-Week.

academics and some very enthusiastic students.

What’s clear is that we are a pretty diverse bunch, and it’s true that Waikato

Although it has its downsides, including an over-reliance on carbohydrates for

has the largest proportion of Māori students of any university in New Zealand.

nutrition and caffeine for energy, life as a student can be pretty sweet. And right

I’m also pretty sure it’s true that we have one of the largest, if not the largest,

now it seems like Waikato is the sweetest place to be one. What with rising rents

proportion of “first in family” (to go to Uni) students, and more adult learners

in Auckland, overcrowded student halls at Vic, collapsing balconies at Otago

than most of the other universities too. There were also 335 international staff

(and seriously, our thoughts are with those students involved), earthquakes at

members here at Waikato in 2014. This gives us a pretty amazing mix of people

Canterbury and, well, Massey being in Palmerston North, I can’t think of a better

and, I’d say, a pretty unique flavour.

place to be than right here in the Tron.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE INSIDE STORY: HALLS OF RESIDENCE LYAM BUCHANAN

What do you get when you mix communal living, a healthy dose of carefree autonomy and too much shitty beer? According to Lyam you get the comingof-age experience known as living at the Halls of Residence.

The Halls of Residence is the best start you can have to University. You get to live with a few hundred teenagers who are just as fresh and careless as each other while you all rack up massive student loans and develop awful habits.

There is no other point in your life where you’ll find yourself with a diet so unhealthy and a bank account so empty. Yet you’re still constantly ready to go out and cause havoc while you revel in the glory which comes with living with like minded people.

TASTE THE HALLS When you’re living in the halls you plan your day around meals. Sleep until lunch, study until dinner and dodge sexual diseases until you wake up again is generally how it goes.

Breakfast is the hardest step of the day. During my stay in Student Village during 2015 I made it to this meal a staggering 7 times which put me in the upper quartile of attendees. I’d even go as far to say that making it to breakfast at least 5 times is a valid point to put on your CV, it shows you have control of your life whereas getting a degree just shows you hate yourself and really enjoy stress.

Making it to breakfast is definitely a feat but in reality you are paying for it and it is food. Plus, you’ll also find that studying in the mornings is far more peaceful and productive than rushing through everything at 2am. So do yourself a favour

The second step to success is to eat lunch and dinner. Just accept that these are a hit and miss. Regardless of what's on your plate you’ll find yourself staring at your food having a minor existential crisis about your degree, while questioning the origin of the mystery meat on your plate. Sometimes it’s filling and has actual 22

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STUDENT LIFE

PHOTOGRAPHY: DALLAS HOUGHTON

and get up when your alarm goes off.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

flavours — but then other days you’re questioning if you just sank your teeth into

investment while in the halls is a printer cable. If any of your papers require you to

the possum you accidentally ran over 3 months ago. As your parents would say

print off physical copies of assignments you can usually plug your laptop straight

‘spitters are quitters’; once you scan your meal card you’re committed, you’re

into the back of the printers in the computer rooms and completely bypass the

going to finish that meal if it's the last thing you do.

payment system. I’m neither confirming nor denying that I used this to print off multiple practice exams. Using this to get physical copies for practicing is

SMELL THE HALLS

definitely a good idea. This isn’t about saving money or generally just being

If you’ve lived in, or even visited the halls, you’ll fondly remember the sweaty,

an asshole, it’s just far easier and faster than going through the entire printing

musty goodness which permeates the air if there is more than one person in a

system and to be honest your rent is steep enough as it is.

room for any longer than 5 minutes. Everyone can smell it, everyone can feel it, yet you never acknowledge it. If you’re currently in the halls, brace yourself for

CRY AT THE HALLS

Winter. Maybe it only applies to Student Village, but once the heaters are turned

Easily the most depressing thing about the halls is being stuck there during

on that musty goodness is tenfold.

the first few holidays. Everyone clears out and runs back home to clear out the pantry and give their pets a little too much affection. If you’re one of

Luckily there are cleaners. Try to imagine how much more unbearable it would

the unlucky souls who either lives unfeasibly far away or are held captive in

be without people employed to vacuum the mouldy toast crumbs out of the

Hamilton by part time jobs you better buckle up. The halls transform from a

carpet. They are sensitive and sheltered souls who are the backbone of this

busy hive of sweaty students to a ghost town within a night. No longer can

establishment. If you’re lucky your cleaners are pretty much a second mum:

you walk next door and spoon your neighbour before lunch. It’s just you and

they vacuum your room, take your rubbish away, and make you feel guilty if you

a bunch of sad RA’s looking for an excuse to escape. At least one positive of

are being too unhygienic. Just remember that when they see your door closed

everyone being at home though is the showers aren’t constantly full of couples

they think you’re having a quiet study session, or maybe even doing some extra

practicing procreation, you’re finally free to sing Beyonce and Adele to your

readings; the last thing they expect is to walk in on you with one leg on the

heart's content.

desk as you’re pumping halfway through a life changing wank. Vacuuming day is definitely not the day to experiment.

I wouldn’t go through it all again but I’m definitely glad I’ve done it once, the Halls are the first proper taste of freedom for most people and it really sets you

STRESS AT THE HALLS

up for the rest of your degree. Some refer to the halls as ‘paying for a social life’

Exam period is always an interesting time. Everyone is either trying to squeeze

but there's nothing wrong with that. Being able to walk through campus with

a semester's worth of class into a week or have already given up and are busy

your mates and know more than just a couple of people from your classes is

drowning their woes while trying to think of an excuse to tell their parents. It

well worth it. You gain an appreciation for home cooking that you had previously

usually consists of frantically messaging people to see if they’re just as fucked

taken for granted and you end up with thousands of yarns to embarrass and

as you or if they’re able to help you. No matter how organised you are, a solid

entertain with. Just make sure you always lock your door.

23

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

YOUR SPACE STUDENT LIFE AT LEVEL ZERO It's a nice day when we head into Level Zero, there's music playing and a few small groups of students sitting around talking shit and reading Nexus (they're not, but we thought we'd give ourselves a shout out anyway).

Level Zero has that distinctive games-room vibe you dreamt of as a kid — a pool table, an Xbox and a stack of games. It's basically your lounge away from home. Except you can't take your pants off when you play Call of Duty. Or give head on the couches.

With free tea and coffee, a jug and a microwave, Level Zero is also basically your dream student kitchen. Thankfully the bench isn't stacked with greasy frying pans or your flatmate's rotting leftovers. This really is Your Space.

Open 10.30-2.30, Mon-Fri, located at level 0 of the Student Centre

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STUDENT LIFE

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

25

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

hari kOrero NEW LOCALS SWEET LIFE

HARI KŌRERO SOBER O-WEEK

SHALINI GULERIA

INGOA MUNA

Moving to a new country is challenging, and I am sure you will agree that

I lied — I was sober for MOST of O week but I’ve got you reading now so all

it’s like starting from scratch with no guidance whatsoever. Everything is so

goods. Two weeks of O-week, what a rager. Looking back on the two weeks of

different here; the weather, people, language, cultures basically everything

O, I’m actually embarrassed to say that I didn’t even go to any of the concerts,

— but I would say it’s different in a good way. My mother did warn me that

mainly because I was catching up on sleep before driving you guys around.

studying overseas wasn’t a joke and like every other kid I brushed it off and

Honestly it takes me a week to recover from one late night so I was absolutely

took this step alone. I was very dependent on my parents. I lived with them,

gone from multiple nights. Yeah, I know I’m a nana. Coming to the end of

didn’t pay rent just went to University and studied. Funny thing is back home

my degree and I can’t even drink anymore, I mean I can’t even make it 'til

there was no such thing as student loan so my parents also paid for my

midnight. So instead of telling you how tragically haurangi I was for the only

education, pretty sweet life right!

two nights I drank, I’m gonna save what little dignity I have left and just tell

But moving to NZ was a shock! Student life here is very different and no one is

y’all how tragic you guys were.

dependent on their parents; so for me it was a good learning curve. I hear a lot

I actually loved sober driving, it was so crack up. People kept calling me Sole.

people say that students have it easy but coming here I realised the struggles

Probs cause I’m brown. Sadly not an Islander, just a North Islander. People

that student life came with. It’s a packaged deal with both highs and lows.

kept falling off the chairs and face planting on the van door. I had one guy

For me it was fairly new to find accommodation, pay bills, cook my own food,

that would whip his dick out when we would drive by cops and go through

wash my clothes; Mum wasn’t there to keep me on track.

cop stops. I had another guy that pissed in the van's spew bucket and tipped

It can get tough sometimes; money runs out and all you can live on is two minute noodles. Or you get sick and there is no one to look after you but you just have to get over it. On the bright side though you learn to be more independent, solve your own problems, make many friends and especially learn how to party!

married. You might laugh, but it's true. Back home student life was pretty sweet. All you do is study, hang out with friends and let your parents look after you and pay your university fees. I know it makes me sound like a spoilt brat but that was the norm back home, that's what the culture is like - so, not my fault, really.

It’s true though, I did dislike the first few weeks in NZ, main reason being I missed the luxury of being at home but I don’t regret coming here at all.

Although student life can consist of sleepless nights, a diet of two minute noodles, assignments, a few grumpy lecturers, exams it has its own perks which make life easier in future.

N.03 / V.48

celebrating their ‘gobaversary’, celebrating the time they met, their first blowy at the back of a bus. Classy. I saw heaps of crying girls and one boy, a tonne of crack up arguments and people who forgot they had limbs making it all that much easier to stay up with you all. Ok, so I pretty much write these down just to make me feel better about myself. I feel better.

I am certain if I was back home I wouldn’t have learnt all these things 'til I was

26

it right on our path and van. At least the matua tipped it out. One couple was

STUDENT LIFE

Thoroughly impressed with the efforts our students put in this year. On form.

Time to go back to class whānau and try and sit at the front so we don’t look like the naughty kids at the back of the school bus. Unless you’re hung then stay riiiiiiight at the back or you’ll end up like my flatmate who spewed in PWC. You do you, Boo Boo. Mauri ora.

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

Nerd

NERD YORK TIMES GIVE ME AN R

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY ASSIGNMENTS

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

I’m sure by now some of you will have seen Deadpool, obviously because you

EXPECTATION

all read my fantastic review. What can I say, I am a powerful person. But it

Your flat is immaculate. What are cockroaches? You’ve never seen one. What

was a really good movie, and I want more. Not more Deadpool necessarily

are warning notices? You’ve never had one; you have a fantastic relationship

(although that’s a given, they announced the sequel before this was already

with your landlord, and he always responds promptly when you ask for him

out), but more of the “different kind of superhero” films. R-rated could very

to fix things. And you’ve certainly never yelled at your flatmate for using your

well be the future, and the thing that saves the superhero genre itself, and I

razor to trim his pubes. Never. Your flat is a haven for student folk of the classy

would enjoy more swearing and a few more decapitations to another eight

variety, your Saturday night pre-games are always civilised, and never end in

Marvel movies. It won't happen though. Marvel have already announced

someone getting too wasted and playing frisbee with your dinner plates. All

they will not make their films more adult and go R-rated. They’ve made too

of your curtains are intact and all of your lightbulbs work. You have a chore

much of an effort to create a family-friendly environment, they’ve missed out

roster that works 100% of the time because everyone in the flat positively

entirely. But here is why they are missing out.

contributes to student life, and you definitely don’t have a collection of empty

Now I’m not saying that all superhero movies need Batman pulling a guys arm off, or Magneto having sex, but just the ability to add adult content can make things better. They’ve already announced that there will be an R-rated home media version of Batman V Superman, and you have to admit that would be pretty great to see. Batman and Superman fighting it out, as viciously as they can? Maybe even some proper Joker action, in either this or Suicide Squad.

Joker is a real nasty bloke, and lets just say you’ve never seen him be properly bad in a movie. Wait until he cuts his face off! That was a thing, and it was disgustingly awesome. The comics are filled with far more adult content which would be awesome on-screen, but have never been able to be fully realised.

Now is the time!

vodka bottles that looks like it belongs in a modern art museum. The best part? This living situation, as majestic as it is, still costs you less than $120 a week, expenses included. (Yes, even your unlimited fibre broadband.)

REALITY When you come home after a long day trying to stay awake at uni, you have to fight your way past the bags of your rubbish that didn’t get taken out this week, yet again. There are several holes in the wall that you have managed to sneak past flat inspection due to the movie posters covering them, Shawshank Redemption style. You are basically besties with noise control because your neighbours probably have them on speed-dial. You ran out of clean plates and forks last week because one of your flatties seems to be hoarding them in his

You don’t even have to fill the movies with this sort of violence though, and

room; you actually can’t be sure he exists anymore because you haven’t seen

Marvel has already shown this, weirdly enough. While their movie heroes are

him since O-week. You think at some stage the carpets used to be white, but

having a nice family-friendly battle with villain #36, in their Netflix shows they

now they have so many beer stains you may as well pass them off as brown

have managed to have actually GOOD villains, who aren’t all “Mwahaha the

and call it a day. A large amount of your furniture was picked up from the side

world is mine”. Take Kilgrave in Jessica Jones, a bad guy with the ability to

of the road and around the back of the flat is quite an extensive collection of

command people to do whatever he wants. You could show that in a PG-

street signs from drunken walks home from town.

setting, but that would be wasting the concept, and the R-rated series actually allows you to explore it properly, along with Jessica Jones’s own PTSD resulting

Word of advice: stealing street signs is illegal and I have definitely never done

from it. None of this Iron Man getting breathless for one movie, but actual

that before. So is stealing milk from flatmates. Maybe try and do your dishes

consequences for actual villainous actions. We need more like this. And so I

every now and again? Idk though, I’m not your mum. You do you.

demand the studios, please give us more like Deadpool! Let's start a petition.

27

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

HEIL HOGAN POLICE 24/7

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D BAY LEAF CRÈME BRÛLÉE

LYAM BUCHANAN

VITAMIN D

If your eyes dilate when you’re looking at someone you’re attracted to then

Crème brûlée literally means burnt cream, and it’s not much more than that, so

the majority of Hamilton is either attracted to everyone and everything, or

you’ve got to get quality ingredients for this one. That hot date whom I’m sure

constantly off their chops on drugs. Probably a fairly even mix of the two.

you’re still trying to impress in the kitchen will know by the hot yellow of the

Welcome to Heil Hogan. Think of this as the septic system of the local

crème and the smooth slide of custard over the palate that you’ve used free

university suburbs — the gossip column of student life. Are you a fucking

range eggs and steered away from the cheapest cream. Get it right and you’ll

tragic drunk? Ever been the cunt to fall onto the beer pong table? Known for

be sliding over their palate by the end of the night.

cheeky finger blast behind the dunnys? If any of these even remotely apply to you then this column is the transcript of your average night out.

Once you’ve mastered the brûlée sans additives you can add a variation of your own that won’t overpower the high calorie deliciousness of sweet cream

Recently I strolled through the streets and admired the natural beauty of Hamilton

and egg. This version takes a twist of lemon to bring out the bay leaf’s umami-

East, I felt at ease. The roads glistened with broken glass and the streets filled

and-citrus tickle. Classy.

with the calming chime of bottles overflowing into the gutter. Serenity. Shiny new mailboxes seethed with jealousy as they gazed upon their predecessor sitting majestically within the neighbour's garden. The charred corpse of a once loved couch that now resides on the footpath is a monument to the complete write off that the past few weeks (also known as O-week) have been.

As I strolled, I reflected and found that O-week and everything prior was mostly a distant blurred memory. The things I could recall were the highlights — not only did we give the merry crew at Police Ten 7 something to talk about

Throw 500ml of organic cream, a teaspoon of good vanilla and three or four bay leaves into a saucepan. Take a few long peels of orange or lemon and cut off the white pith. Give the peel a couple of twists above the pan to release the oil, then chuck the peels into the pot. Bring it up to a quiet simmer. Take the mixture off the heat.

While that’s steeping, preheat your oven to 150°C, boil a full jug of water and oil four to six ramekins.

in the uni area (other than liquor shop robberies and bogans), but we even

Get a clean bowl and put in four egg yolks, a whole egg and half a cup of sugar

had the privilege of being front row to a private performance of the Police

(brown, white, coconut, whatever). Beat it with your electrics until it’s pale and

marching band/riot squad. I’m placing bets that one of the officers drove

smooth like an anaemic twelve-year-old.

past and saw his daughter at a small gathering of academics on the corner of Hogan and Cameron and wasn’t too stoked.

Remove the bay leaves and peel from the cream mixture. Start beating the egg mixture and slowly drizzle in the warm cream without making the kitchen

Nevermind the froth of the first few weeks of University; the most entertaining

bench look like the star of a particularly messy bukkake. Divide the mixture

and heartwarming thing to come out of it all is watching people doing the

among the ramekins and put them in a roasting pan, then fill the pan with hot

glorious walk of shame the morning after the toga party. Every other morning

water up to half the height of the ramekins and bung it all in the oven for about

you can somewhat get away with it if you tidy your hair up, or at least chuck

an hour. Look for a firm wobble, like town cleavage.

some water over your face. Unless you’re a nun there is absolutely no fucking way to make a bed sheet inconspicuous, especially if you accidentally used it for cleaning purposes. When you’re in that situation all you can do is own it.

Wear that cum stained rag with pride.

Take the ramekins out of the water and let them cool before chucking them into the fridge. Once they’re cold you’ll need to brûlée the top, so turn your oven’s grill up to max and sprinkle about a tablespoon of sugar on each of the now-cold crèmes. Put them on a tray and slide them as close as you can

If you haven’t already make sure you add nexusmag on Snapchat where we

to the heat, keeping an eye on the tops the whole time. Look for brown and

Story the nights spent drowning in cheap beer. We want to see you getting

bubbling tops. Take them out and let the sugar cool before cracking the top

amongst. If you’re having a quiet study session or a cheeky sip of naughty

with a spoon and diving in.

nectar it doesn’t matter, send us your rowdiest and most embarrassing snaps.

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STUDENT LIFE

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK’NSAVE HEAD CHEF HANGOVER BREAKFAST INGREDIENTS 2 Tortillas 1 c Mexican tomatoes 130g chicken – diced ½ t soy sauce ½ onion – diced ½ t worcestor sauce ½ carrot – grated ½ t chilli sauce ½ courgette – grated 30 g grated cheese ½ t garlic Serves 2 METHOD 1. Preheat oven to 180°C and grease an oven dish.

2. Brown chicken, onion, carrot and courgette and garlic in a non-stick pan.

3. Mix in ½ c of tomatoes and sauces. Bring to the boil and then simmer for 15 minutes.

4. Divide the mixture in half and place on the tortillas.

Roll up firmly.

5. Place in dish. Pour over ½ c of tomatoes.

6. Top with cheese and breadcrumbs.

7. Bake for 15 mins until golden brown.

8. Serve with smashed avocado and/or sour cream.

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WIN

NER

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STUDENT LIFE

Blind Date NEXUS MAGAZINE

Brought to you by The Bank Each week Nexus attempts to make a love/sexual connection.

If you’re keen for a date on us, email editor@nexusmag.co.nz

He's a third year management major who learns about, like, money. She's a second year nursing student who learns about cleaning up bodily fluid. He crushed on Angelina Jolie as a teen, she probably rubbed one out over Harry Potter. He reckons he's a "pro French kisser", which is very impressive. Read on to find out if he flexed his award winning tongue muscles.

XX SHE SAID

XY HE SAID

I was pretty excited to be picked to go on the Nexus

I went in there after a rum and coke (to kill the nerves)

Blind Date but mainly for the free drinks. I got ready in

hoping for three things.

a fashion that most women my age would: did my hair, make-up and played drinking games with my flatmate.

I turned up on time for my date and ordered a drink but didn’t have to wait long for my date to come. My date was very good looking and punctual, with pretty good banter. We both ordered beers throughout the night, I wanted to be manly but ordered a cocktail towards the end. The meals were amazing, including dessert which was orgasmic. There was no way my date would stop me from getting dessert.

To my amazement we had matched on Tinder last year, we both laughed about. But I only fully remembered once he talked about his grandad, who comes into my work every day to buy bread.

Thanks Nexus for the overall experience of getting free dinner and drinks and to meet my tinder match from last year. PS Didn’t get laid due to being a little sick, although given the success of the night, 10/10 would

1. I wouldn't know the chick.

2. She'd have a different name to the most recent chick I dated.

3. I was hoping for a looker.

Number 2 was definitely satisfied. It was awkward at first because I remembered talking to her on Tinder months ago but she didn't remember me straight away.

After that, conversation flowed quite well and it was never uncomfortable.

There were good yarns about travel and driving but not the banter required for the night to end in fun.

Certainly there was no chance of a relationship starting either. It was interesting to actually meet someone off Tinder though.

Cheers to The Bank and Nexus for making it a good night with great food and drink. Would definitely recommend it to anyone!

do him.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU 3

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Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 26. Crack the code to solve it.

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How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

STUDENT LIFE

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TRIVIAL In California it is illegal to do what in a hotel Room?

In Papua New Guinea what is the leading cause of death?

What are people who love eating ice called?

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD Solve the clues and fill in the words.

1

2

3

ACROSS

4

1. Scholar (8) 3. The place that pays students (9) 5

6

7

5. Whare Wananga (10)

7

7. Cathartic response to stress (6) 8. Drs in lecture theatres (8) 8

9. Department, school (7)

9

12. Compulsory readings from Waikato Print (6, 6) 14. Make meaning of; understand (9)

10

17. University bookstore (8) 11

12

18. Nervousness about deadlines (6) 20. Delay, postpone (13)

13 14

21. Graded evaluation (10) 15

22. Attend to uni to obtain (6) 23. Expensive paper (8)

16

24. Small class with discussions (8) 17

DOWN 18

2. Social groups on campus (5) 19

3. Delicious with sushi __ sauce (3) 4. Sometimes needed to finish an assignment all-___ (7)

20

6. Library's location (7, 6) 10. "C's get degrees, but A's get ___" (12) 11. Flexibility provided for deadline (9) 13. Liquid life-force (8) 21

22

15. Student dietary staple (8) 16. Essay, report (10) 19. ___ Village, Halls of Residence (7)

23

24

HOROSCOPES CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19)

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)

You’re young and invincible, so take a risk. But nothing condom

The desire to know more about the people you share your life with is

related. You don’t ever want to know where they inject the penicillin.

natural but running a blue light over your flat will make you vomit.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

It’s only when we find ourselves at our lowest we begin to imagine

Joining clubs and societies expands your ideas and challenges your

a way to climb up. So if you feel low, think about getting high.

worldview. Of course that’s also the same pitch that cult leaders use.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22)

Venus is aligned with Mars so,write us some Lettuce via email,

If you’re going to be drunk and use all of someone's Maggi Noodles and

Snapchat, or Facebook.

most of their $14 peanutbutter put it back in the goddamn fridge Pene!

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22)

Luck strikes this week! You will be able to buy a coffee and lunch on

Getting in touch with an old friend only reminds you why you didn’t

campus for under ten dollars. Just kidding we are stars not Wizards.

stay in touch with them in the first place.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21)

Feeling insignificant? From a single seed grows a mighty apple tree. That

Embracing your inner darkness opens you up to raw, powerful emotions that

tree grows hundreds of apples so any student can always make a bong.

not properly managed make you self loathing and the worst star wars villain.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

SAGITTATRIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21)

Don’t accept candy from strangers. This country is in the middle

Tolerance allows you to see the world from a unique perspective but it’s

of a type two diabetes epidemic.

never ok for white kids to rap “Straight outta compton” in full. Just stop.

33

Hillcrest - Shop 9, Hillcrest Shopping Centre, Cambridge Road, Hamilton 3216 Davies Corner â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Unit 2, 303 Clarkin Road, Fairfield, Hamilton 3214

dominos.co.nz 0800 30 40 50 MOBILE & ONLINE

ORDERING SITE

People are head over heels for our Discount Night WEDNESDAY NIGHT 5pm - 10pm

$10 hollaah

Wow! Carrie’s look’n

STACKED

Iggy

Carrie

THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT !

• Maximum of two rubbish bags and no more than 20kg each • Tie together all paper and card and place beside the recycling crate. Max box size 750mm x 750mm • Recycling bin to contain only plastics with the 1 and 2 symbols. Aluminium and steel cans. Green, clear or brown glass bottles and jars

hamilton.govt.nz/rubbish

/hamiltoncitycouncil

@CouncilHamilton