Nexus 2015 Issue 02

N.02 / V.47

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

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Editor Jessica Wilson editor@nexusmag.co.nz Design Olivia Paris design@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editors Brittany Rose & Jules Craft

01 EDITORIAL Jess Falls Flat

03 NEWS

Professor Alexander Gillespie Speaks Isis

08 SPORTS Secret: Get High to Win

Managing Editor James Raffan Contributors Ty Hart Alyssa Witte Alexander Nebesky Chris Reive Chris Kader Sam Marelich Jared Wooldridge Richard Swainson Caitlin Orton Hp Kelsie Morland Melissa Stevens Peter Dornauf Professor J. Ritchie (Archive) Philip McSweeney Tyla Bidois Samantha Brill Emma Nygard Drunk Professor Aunty Slut Resident Gay Kate Leach Shannon Stewart Zac Lyon Alix Higby Cover Photography Ashleigh Matthews Photography Cameron Robinson

10 ENTERTAINMENT Horoscopes/ Trending on Twitter/ Please Don’t Quote Me / Beats by J

13 REVIEWS

The Theory of Everything / Sian Sushi / The Maze Runner / Trello

16 AUTEUR

Auteur House Presents... The Oscars!

17 ARTS

College Comes to Campus

18 50 YEARS OF NEXUS Brown Paper? (1970) / Growing Old Disgracefully

20 FEATURES

Lynch the Landlord: Why Your Rent is Sky-Fucking-High /The Bonds we Make / Basic Flatting Tips

26 YOUR SPACE Girls Only: Hillcrest

28 COLUMNS

ALC 101 / Aunty Slut / The Weekly Grind / Carnage / The Single Life

36 CARE

Clubs / Advocacy / Representation / Experience

Advertising aj@wsu.org.nz Offices Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton

38 COOKING Snickers Icecream

39 SNAPPED Send us your snaps

Online nexusmag.co.nz facebook.com/nexusNZ

40 PUZZLES

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

Jess Falls Flat How was O-Week? What’s that? Oh right, you can’t respond because this question doesn’t have an option to respond, nor is it directly directed at you. BAZINGA! This was undoubtedly our best O-Week to date, probably — I’m writing this before O-Week. You can check out some of the O-Week shenanigans in this issue. If you find yourself, come into the Nexus office to receive a free pat on the back.

Sometimes I feel like a big fish in a small pond, or perhaps something more like an eel. I’d definitely be something long because I’m tall. Also, I’d have a good girth for sure because I love my seafood. Either way, what I’m trying to say is: This

In the event of flatting, young adults must take on a mass of responsibilities — some of which they likely never knew existed. Did you ever realise that vacuums have bags that must be changed? No — we have that in common, let’s be friends.

Away from the watchful eyes of a legal guardian, flatters may notice the following: an unpleasant odour permeating from their underarms, butt, and feet areas as they begin to shower less; pustular acne from poor nutrition and packaged food consumption; hair growth as a result of not being able to afford a hairdresser… And even more disgusting symptoms!

Now, I may be setting you up to think flatting is hellish and not enjoyable, but don’t fret. Everything I have written here is bullshit because I live with my parents.

week’s issue delves into the deep and penetrating topic that

If you’re already feeling flattened from flatting, remember

is flatting.

that the Waikato Students’ Union supplies a range of support

Maybe I’m a flatfish.

for budgeting and general life sorting. Student Health also offers mental health services if you’re having a hard time

Becoming a flatter, or a fatter as some people (me) may

fitting into your new abode. Finally, you can seek support

jokingly call them, is an important stage of young adult

from the Nexus crew by emailing me at editor@nexusmag.

development.

co.nz, though this is highly not recommend.

1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

Jess? More Like Jesus Absolutely Definitely Not Jess

The Real Moses Had 10 Commandments, You Lazy Bastard Moses

Dear anonymous confessioner on the University of Waikato Confessions page. Jess is so much more than “pretty fine”. As someone who has known Jess her entire life (consisting of 7,214 days so far), I can tell you that she is a complex and extremely talented individual. Not only does Jess have a diploma in hairdressing, but she also has a PhD in Clinical Psychology from Yale. Jess is spiritual, she believes in such philosophies as buddhism, yoga, pilates, and of course, tantric sex and the Kama Sutra. As well as being

A word of advice: Good morning first years, second years and all the others who have made it this far. I think I should deliver some advice that it took me roughly three years to figure out. I present to you the four F’s as I learnt it:

extremely complex, Jess has completed numerous marathons to raise

Friends: The easiest ways to make friends are through the clubs. By clubs I don’t

funds for such charities as the Bill O’Reily Minority Fund, the Daniel Farrell

mean 101 or Outback I actually mean the huge list of WSU clubs on campus, join

Centre for Kids Who Can’t Write Good, and the John Key Equality Project.

any and all that interest you and then some, go to meetings and be involved and

Though I would have to be blind not to notice Jess’ profound beauty, I do

you’ll make solid friends that have similar interests.

not just hang out with her simply for her appearance, nor do I only hang out with her for her small, though perfectly shaped, breasts.

Food: If you are ever in a situation where you have nothing to eat, the WSU provides a food bank which can be accessed in your time or need. They also

I think the world needs to understand Jess for what she really is: A beautiful

occasionally have free food at level zero but they always have free tea and coffee,

woman who is ALSO probably the most intelligent person on the planet.

so you don’t always need to hit up momento and break the bank.

Failing: If and or when it happens, the best thing is to go and talk to your marker or

Fucking Nark

lecturer and ask them kindly where you can improve and fix for next time.

Fun: Have some. Don’t let life stress you too much, and when it does go out and go for a run or hit up your mates to go watch a movie, just enjoy your next 3-5 years.

Non-Smoker

representatives, were caught smoking on campus. When confronted their

A Love Letter

defense was “don’t worry about it, it’s us” and “do you know whose land

Sticky Fingered

Today 4/03/2015, Pape Barrett and Zanian Steele, two of our student union

this is?” Shame on them!

Some Aussy lads that go by the name Sticky Fingers; crossed the ditch for a

Frustrated With Ignorance

few shows in NZ. I was fortunate enough to secure tickets to the Dorkland show

Anonymous

to keep the crowd more than entertained with many patrons leaving thinking it

before it sold out. The venue soon turned to an electric amphitheatre with frothers feeding of every sound that was coming out of the speakers. Even with the best efforts of the support crew around things still go wrong, its when the mic and guitars stopped working that band-headman Dylan Frost took to the dance floor was a planned part of the show. T’was a night that wont be forgotten in a hurry. If you haven’t already jumped aboard, it is now time to get on the STICKY FINGERS

I guess I’m considered an alumna of UoW as an exchange student. But that

train and see what all the noise is about.

does not mean I am not keeping up with shenanigans of O’Week and what my friends are up to. I was sickened by a photo I saw from O’Week (Bar 101) that showed a disgusting display of ignorance and insensitivity with the use of ‘black face’. I really think there should be a first year orientation session regarding racial stereotypes, racial slurs, cultural sensitivities, triggering/ traumatic language, gendered language, abelist language, etc. Basically used as a disclaimer to say “HEY, DON’T BE A DICK HEAD, AND THINK OF HOW YOUR WORDS AND ACTIONS AFFECT OTHER PEOPLE!!!” You know, basic human respect and decency. Cultures are not costumes, and educate yourself about social histories and oppression of minority communities when you dress up for Halloween or O’Week. DONE’T BE A DICK HEAD.

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N.02 / V.47

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech. Email your lettuce to lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEWS FEATURE People, including us social-media-hungry Students, are still concerned about the broad use of Facebook and Twitter by ISIS to spread the word of their cause, and to potentially recruit radicalists in other parts of the world - or just edgy teenagers who have an anti-government streak.

“Social Media is something that can’t be controlled. But we are still a Society that upholds Freedom of Speech and Freedom of Ideology — We can’t lose those things in a tangle of fear or revenge.” An explanation more unique than any I’ve seen, at least. “There are people out there who run the risk of being attracted to organizations like ISIS, people who don’t like the Government – We should encourage them to debate their views to develop society.”

Ultimately there is only one question that everyone really wants the answer to; just how likely is it for an attack or shooting to happen here?

PROFESSOR ALEXANDER GILLESPIE SPEAKS ISIS Ty Hart

By now, you’ve all heard of ISIS. If you haven’t, you probably can’t read and

“It’s true that the threat level is quite high in places like America, and even Australia,” the Professor explains. “Even in New Zealand that risk is rising. But you have to look at it in context — It’s still a really tiny chance. You have a higher chance of being involved in a shark attack than finding yourself the hostage of some terrorist.”

I guess that answers that question.

SIDE NOTE

it is pointless for me to address you. What you wouldn’t have heard, though, was the reality behind ISIS — What it means for you and I as we go about our day with cheap sushi and expensive coffee.

HOW THEY COVERED IT

So what else was there to do but to find a local expert on ISIS, who also held an equal joy to sit down with a bright-eyed fourth-year and discuss this very subject?

That expert was none other than Waikato University’s own Professor Alexander Gillespie, LLB LLM (Hons), with a PhD from Noittingham and Post-Doctoral Studies at Columbia University, New York.

Shopping centres in the firing line Stuff.co.nz It’s always a good idea to make a pun about the threat of New Zealand shoppers getting their heads blown off by ISIS. Always.

A well as maintaining a presence as a regular Professor within Waikato’s Faculty of Law, Professor Gillespie has been a legal and policy advisor to both the Ministry of Foreign Affairs and Department of Conservation.

John Key: New Zealand can’t ‘do nothing’ in Isis fight New Zealand Herald

Professor Gillespie has also regularly appeared on 3 News and TVNZ

There’s an obvious issue with your title if it looks like it was written by Chris

Breakfast as an expert on this very issue.

Lilley’s character in his racist comedy series.

“What you have to understand about ISIS,” the Professor began as we sat

‘Get some guts and join the right side’ — John Key lashes out as he sends

down, “Is that they are a perfect enemy. Rape, beheadings, genocide —

NZ troops to Iraq for Isis fight New Zealand Herald

There isn’t an atrocity that they haven’t committed.” The Professor went on

We’re pretty sure he means right ideologically.

to explain how ISIS fighters sought only to destroy anything and everything that didn’t agree with their particular interpretation of Islam and the Quran.

Nothing could demonstrate this point more than when, late last week, ISIS fighters entered a museum in Mosul, Iraq, and proceeded to destroy priceless historical artefacts in an attempt to crush what they perceived as ‘non-Islamic’ ideas.

Op-Ed : NZ vs ISIS - “To be or not to be” Scoop.co.nz They know how Hamlet turned out right?

However, when I brought up President Obama’s statements about the actions of ISIS fighters not being based upon any religious foundation, compounding existing condemnation from many Islamic Religious Leaders,

Russell Brand on ISIS: ‘We have a huge cultural problem’ 3 News Online

the answer surprised me.

3 News asking the important questions: Like what does Russel Brand think?

“Statements like that are dangerous. Who are we to say whether their interpretation of Islam is wrong or not? They are entitled to their belief. It’s when they start killing people for that belief that it crosses that line and becomes a problem.”

3

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

SHORT NEWS

ISIS RETALIATION: SHOULD WE WORRY? Alyssa Witte

ISIS terrorist groups have a vision for the locations they have under their control. Larger scale operations than brutality of beheadings seen in local news reports are anticipated. New Zealand is stepping up.

Armed force seldom resolves political problems. But the majority of governments addressing the ISIS debacle see it as a prominent option. In particular, that the only way to defeat ISIS

MP’S MAKING BANK

is to end the civil war in Syria. Now Prime Minister John Key has given the ok to send more than 140 New Zealand troops to train Iraqi military this May.

Chris Kader

ISIS has control of territory throughout the Middle East. Many New Zealanders are concerned that we have no business Members of parliament collectively cringed upon learning that the Remuneration Authority,

participating in this region and that we may be inviting added

the independent body which determines their pay, wanted to hike their salaries by $8,200.

danger to ourselves by doing so.

Cabinet MPs with multiple portfolios were to get almost $15,000 more. John Key and Bill English also learned of a $23,400 and $16,900 increase in their respective salaries. It was all quite confusing as the Remuneration Authority claimed to be just following the rules laid out by the MPs themselves.

The New Zealand government is arguing that engaging is needed in order to support human rights. ISIS tactics involve violently aggressive acts of brutality, including raping women.

And yet, they are gaining support in these regions. ISIS is known

In the end, the Prime Minister, who has criticised the Authority for years when it comes time

to be feeding starving people in areas under their control —

to awkwardly boost his pay, stepped in. Of the increase, the Prime Minister stated “it was

manufacturing compliance.

neither necessary nor justified at a time when inflation is at 0.8 per cent.”

There are, therefore, two questions to consider. One is simply

His response is to pass, under urgency, backdated legislation which will cancel this wage

weather New Zealand has a responsibility to help another region

increase and tie future MP pay increases solely to increases in the average public sector

protect itself from attack. It is clear that the Middle East needs

pay of the previous year. Many commentators pointed out that this could lead to perverse

help to combat ISIS. But the other question is whether the threat

incentives to ramp up public sector pay in order to justify increases for the politicians. The

increases if we become involved, (or don’t become involved).

government says it will be taking more advice on the matter.

Should we worry?

PAID PARENTAL LEAVE AMENDMENT A DEAD FISH Alexander Nebesky

Sue Moroney’s Parental Leave and Employment Protection (Six

a Monty Python sketch set in the Middle Ages — ‘Hear ye, hear ye’

Months’ Paid Leave) Amendment Bill, which was slated to extend

I would say, “Paid parental leave will still be extended to 18 weeks

paid parental leave, was defeated in the last week of February. The

by the end of this year.”

bill, which aimed to increase leave from 14 to 26 weeks, lost to a tied 60 to 60 with both National and ACT in opposition.

Were this a Monty Python sketch then at about this point I would explode or be slapped with a fish — or some other ridiculous or

We should really have seen that one coming, considering National

hilarious outcome. But it’s not. And it never will be. What it is, in

had Moroney alter the bill to only cover parents under special

fact, is a little bit of an unfortunate situation in which new parents

circumstances — or they would otherwise veto it for financial

will not be afforded the help they need with parental leave, and at

reasons. Anyway, the gist is that they defeated it anyway, in every

the same time, it’s also a great help to have an extra four weeks

capacity.

attached to parental leave.

“But it’s not all bad news!” You will hear me crying in the town

Is 18 too little? Maybe. Maybe not. Is 26 too many? Definitely,

square as I ring one of those bells and wear a funny hat much like

because the National government said so.

4

N.02 / V.47

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEWS FROM THE UNIVERSITY

FREE STUDENT INTERNET FAIR USE PROVISION EU GUEST TALK THIS WEEK

Last year the University introduced a free internet service for students to use on campus, via the computer labs or WiFi. Students are asked to read the student internet ‘fair

The Ukraine crisis, ISIS, and the EU-NZ relationship will be discussed in a free talk this

use’ guidelines and are reminded that illegal downloading of

Wednesday by Michalis Rokas, the Chargé d’Affaires, EU Delegation to New Zealand. Mr

copyrighted material is not permitted. The University monitors

Rokas is visiting the University on Wednesday 11 March and will give a talk on international

student usage that exceeds what is considered reasonable. Halls

relations during cultural hour, 1-2pm, in L.G.03. No need to rsvp, just turn up.

of Residence students have additional network provision for in-Hall use, which is covered by the same policy. www.waikato. ac.nz/ict-self-help/policy/student-internet-fair-use-provision

APPLICATIONS OPEN FOR FIELDAYS SCHOLARSHIP Applications are now open for the 2015 New Zealand National Agricultural Fieldays Sir Don Llewellyn Scholarship. The scholarship is funded by the National Agricultural Fieldays Society and is worth up to $22,000 for one year of graduate study at the University of Waikato. It’s aimed at graduate students undertaking research in the agricultural sector. Previous winners’ projects addressed issues facing the agricultural industry, such as the cost of environmental compliance in the dairy industry, and the properties of flipped soil in drought-prone areas. The scholarship is open to domestic students enrolling at the University of Waikato to undertake research at master or doctoral level. Applications close on Friday 20 March. www.waikato.ac.nz/research/scholarships

STUDENT VISA RENEWAL International students — please check your passport to see when your Student Visa expires. You must not let your visa expire.

If you do, you will not be able to continue with your studies. If your programme has changed since last year then you will need to apply for a new visa. If your Student Visa expires in March or April 2015, you can renew it on campus anytime from 10am-

CHANGING PAPERS DEADLINE FRIDAY 13 MARCH

4pm in the Student Centre (Rooms M2.02 and M2.03 opposite main entrance, Level 2) until Friday 20 March. No appointment is necessary. Email epermits@waikato.ac.nz for more information.

The deadline to submit a Semester A or Y 2015 Change of Enrolment and get a refund of fees is 5pm Friday 13 March 2015. You can do this on iWaikato, under Common Tasks tab, select Re-Enrol/Change of Enrolment, then Apply to Change Enrolment. If you need help or advice call 0800 WAIKATO or drop in to the information desk on level 2 of the Student Centre.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NOT NEWS

SOCIAL MEDIA OUTRAGE AT BLACK FACE Tuesday night during O-Week had two themes, both of which were inherently

The systematic and institutionalised oppression of indigenous peoples is not

going to be problematic: Jungle Party and Cowboys & Indians. Clueless white

an issue of the past, and even if it were, mockingly dressing as an historically

people attended dressed as ethnicities they knew little about.

oppressed minority is still abhorrently ignorant and offensive. These racist

At the Jungle Party, several girls painted there skin brown in an attempt to dress as Australian Aborigines. The very indigenous people that were massacred, kidnapped, and attempted to be bred out in Australia. The same people who, today, have twice the suicide rate of non-indiginous Australians and are three

costumes at O-Week add to the mockery and stereotyping of minority ethnicities.

Once we lower these ethnicities to an idea -a mere costume- we are effectively dehumanising, deconstructing the unique culture of, and encouraging the further oppression of individuals within such ethnicities.

times more likely to experience psychological distress. Fun fact: there are no

Though it is still not evident how Waikato students feel about black face, social

fucking jungles in Australia. Guy Williams took to Instagram with a picture of these

media has had its share of outrage against the resulting images.

girls with the comment “pray 4 them.”

Kieran Clarkin shared “I like a trashy meat market as much as the next guy, but maybe pause before ‘blacking up’ for fun and games. Ignoring racial essentialism

“LET’S SEE WHAT THE WHITE FOLKS DECIDE ON WHAT’S RACIST AND WHAT ISN’T.”

and racist stereotypes for a good time is shameful and Hamiltonians are better than this.”

Tim Less added “This is fucking horrible.”

Ani Yass stated “Let’s see what the white folks decide on what’s racist and what

At the Cowboys & Indians party, there were dozens of young men and women

isn’t.”

dressed as ‘Indians’, or more accurately, Native Americans. Known as the “500

Rose Bear Don’t Walk commented ““I think that hosting a themed party where

Year War” or the “World’s Longest Holocaust In The History Of Mankind And Loss

teens get together to dress up as races of culture and continue to uphold the

Of Human Lives”, the mass genocide of Native Americans, which still continues

negative stereotype affiliated with them sounds like a good idea” — said no one

today, took the lives of between 95,000,000 to 114,000,000 Native Americans. In

ever. Really thought that places in New Zealand where indigenous people play

some Native American communities, the suicide rate is greater than 10 times the

such a large role would do better in recognizing that stuff like this is not OK.”

national average.

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News NEXUS MAGAZINE

@GOFUCKYOURSELF A Texas based priest is offering absolution and confession via snapchat. @ PriestDavid is getting people to snap him their confessions and he will offer them forgiveness. Now, at first second and fifteenth glance, that may seem like a morally bankrupt idea, but look at it that 16th time and you will see it’s true genius. The Catholic Church may have finally found a medium that truly embodies their values.

Snapchat, much like how they dealt with historic sexual abuse claims through the 80s and 90s, allows you to consider something for 10 seconds then forget it ever existed.

SELFIES IN VOGUE AS PM CALLS ON O-WEEK CROWD First and most importantly selfies are pictures of yourself not pictures of

PEN COLLECTOR MAKES NEWS

yourself and someone. They are photos. Secondly the ONLY cool part of the

A Southland man has made the news for having collected over 25,000 ball point

Prime Minister visiting was when the Nexus photographers saw him visibly

pens, which makes you wonder a couple of things:

shake himself down after having photos taken with students. We assume to get rid of the middle-class cooties.

How the fuck is this news Southland? You backwards hillbilly part of the country.

How long will it be till we see the same man on the news being taken away in

WTF: WAIKATO TIMES FOCUS

handcuffs with the phrase “He collected a pen from each of his victims handbags” written below.

Every few weeks we like to look at the Waikato times. If for no other

How many David Bennett pens can we send him before he tells us to fuck off? We

reason than it makes us feel better about our own headlines

are assuming the answer is two because that’s as many as we wanted.

Art just for intellectuals not really art at all, is it?

NEWS IN NUMBERS

Yeah it is. Art for Hamsters is still art too. The key is that you referred to it as ‘art’ in the title.

83 age of Leonard Nimoy (Mr. Spock) when he died

Waikato River plan causing waves

5 South Island reports of key snatching in the past month

Waves, river... I hate everything about the Waikato Times.

Council overspend labelled ‘unacceptable’ No shit, it was $652,000. That isn’t just unacceptable. If I over-spend $20 on groceries my girlfriend beats me with a vacuum cleaner pipe.

9.16 cm average size of a flaccid penis according to a new study 134 windows smashed at a Taupo primary school by at least three students 2 million compensation for Teina Pora after 21 years in jail as innocent man

Residents say police deter crime This is not actually news Burning desire alleged in woman’s arson trial Aren’t Arson puns funny? No, no they are fucking not.

7

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

SPORTS OPINION

HIGH FIVE

ABSOLUTE BLOWOUTS Rugby At the 2003 Rugby World Cup Australia romped Namibia by a score of 142 – 0, running in 22 tries to nil (obviously) with Chris Latham running in 5 tries.

Cricket In 2008 the Black Caps beat Ireland by

SECRET: GET HIGH TO WIN

290 runs. Openers James Marshal and Brendan McCullum scored 161 and 166 respectively as the Black Caps score 402 in their 50 overs. Ireland

Chris Reive

were then bowled out for 112 NBA In 1991, the Cleveland Cavaliers crushed the

Last week I talked about how ridonkulous the Black Caps bowling attack has been

Miami Heat 148 – 80 (sad face emoticon). In the

during the world cup, specifically Tim Southee. Keeping it Cricket World Cup related;

Heat’s defence, it was only their third year in the

I’ve stumbled upon an issue with the kiwi boys that could be our downfall. We don’t

league and they were still finding their feet as a

like to chase low scores.

franchise.

We first saw it against Scotland — we bowled the Scots out for 142; and struggled mighty in the chase, hunting it down with only three wickets to spare. Then we saw it

Rugby League Another blowout from 2003

again against Australia. Bowling first, the Black Caps restricted the Australian team

— the Parramatta Eels destroyed the Cronulla-

to a measly 151 all out. 151!

Sutherland Sharks 74 – 4. Here some highlights: The sharks had TWO players sent off and the Eels

With 50 overs and a ground with small boundaries — it should have been simple.

scored 14 tries, 5 of which came from Jamie Lyon.

But simple is not the Black Caps way of doing things and they tried their very best to UFC Something a little more recent, on 01/03/15

at least make it interesting.

(NZT) Ronda Rousey handed number one

The boys knocked off the total – with 1 wicket to spare. For me, it came down to the

contender Cat Zingano her first loss. By handed

last ball of Mitchell Starc’s last over. A ball that should have been bowled at the stumps

to, I mean Rousey annihilated Zingano — making

was slung out wide and left by the number 11 batsman. With the following ball Kane

her submit in 14 seconds. No, that isn’t a typo.

‘doesn’t-feel-pressure’ Williamson smashed a six and won the game.

The game should not have been so close. Our middle order need to learn that they cannot go out to the crease expecting that the game is already in the bag. I feel like on some subconscious level, they all had this mindset and it showed as our middle order crumbled.

SAFE BET Safe Bet: Warriors to bet Camberra, $1.65

If we’re going to win, we need to focus on all elements of every game, and stay focused

Bit of a Risk: Manchester United to beat Arsenal, $2.35

until the final ball/run. We have proven talent, now we need to prove our mentality.

Long Shot: Boston Celtics to win the NBA, $110

MEET

SHANNON O’DONNELL: WATERSKIING GODDESS Name: Shannon O’Donnell Sport: Barefoot Waterskiing What’s your training like? When I am training competitively it is mainly on the water based training. In the weekends that would consist of 2-3 sets each day of 30 minute to an hour of actual skiing. During the weekdays I would try and get out another 2-3 times in the morning.

Who inspired you to take up Barefoot Waterskiing? My family. I have grown up on the water since I was a baby doing all types of watersports (double skiing, single skiing, knee boarding etc). I watched my dad compete and one day decided I wanted to have a go and be like him. What drives you to continue to push yourself in the sport? It has been to continue to improve my personal skiing, and aiming to bet personal bests. Also the goal of being part of New Zealand teams to compete at World Barefoot Champs has always been a huge driving factor in my training. What’s the earliest memory you have of competing? This would be when I first decided I wanted to have a go. It was at a competition and the division was called ‘rookies’ (all skiers learning to barefoot, start in here while they are on the bar beside the boat before they can ski on the long line behind the boat) and me and my best friend were both having our first go. I remember getting up straight away and was so excited and tried to wave to my mum on the shore line and completely ate it! But it was such a cool experience and I just wanted to have another go straight away. What has been the highlight of your career to date? Representing New Zealand at World Championships all over the world has been amazing. In particular the 2010 Germany worlds where I made the Jump final in my individual event (top 5 in the world) and also being part of the Junior team that won a bronze medal overall for the first time.

To read the full interview and find out if Shannon retired after it check out nexusmag.co.nz 8

N.02 / V.47

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

MP BACKBENCH PAYMENT Do backbench MP’s deserve a 10k pay increase or are they just shit cunts?

LEFT

RIGHT

After writing about the troop deployment last week, leading from the

Who is Fletcher Tabutea and why does he deserve $156,000 plus perks

rear might become a theme in this segment. The PM has once again

a year?

stepped into the fray with urgent backdated legislation to overhaul the Remuneration Authority — after years of criticising it and doing nothing at all.

Well after a bit of background research, he seems to be a New Zealand First MP who has made 6 press statements that were since published in the Rotorua Daily Post this year - most of them boiling down to a fairly

With the new flag idea wearing gossamer-thin, it was a good opportunity

well worded critique of whatever the government is currently doing.

to keep the national conversation focussed on relatively trivial issues.

Chances are you have never heard of him unless you’ve lived in Rotorua

The PM’s intervention sat well with plenty of people, but some expressed

or are far too involved in NZ Politics.

concern about what will replace the Remuneration Authority’s decades

MP salaries have come under the radar again as the Independent

— old system, on the Right commentators pointed out that now that pay

Remuneration Authority tried to give our politicians a nice big pay rise.

will be tied to average public sector increases MPs might, gasp, increase

Then, as is customary, our politicians pretended they didn’t want it, but

public sector pay. On the other hand, public sector representatives

weren’t sure if they would give it back.

pointed out that well, yes, the MPs would have to do that if they want their salaries to keep pace with inflation, because in many cases public sector salaries haven’t.

I want to make an important distinction. This isn’t about John Key, Andrew Little or the salary of any minister in Cabinet. These politicians are generally watched very closely, have enormous responsibility and

The mini-controversy did raise some interesting issues. No one should

work disgusting hours. On the free market the skills that they possess

be surprised that this government is willing to cut spending on

can often bring in millions of dollars a year - they take a pay cut in

something for political advantage, even their own backbencher room

exchange for their political power.

meat. As recent news has shown they’ve also mulled delaying spending on the Canterbury rebuild in order to reach surplus by the arbitrary dates they’ve promised. Any move, from commonsensical to cruel, is on the table when it comes to massaging image. What’s important to remember is that when it comes to who’s getting paid what, this is a sideshow. Yeah MPs are comfortable, but they’re comfortable in the most unequal country in the OECD, and things aren’t that way because of overcompensated politicians. The careworker being paid $3 an hour

Is this the case for back bencher MP’s? Is frequent man about campus David Bennett worth what we pay him? He’s no Frank Underwood - six years in Parliment and he’s currently chair of the Finance & Expenditure Select Committee and a member on the Foreign Affairs, Defence and Trade Select Committee. No, the real Frank Underwood is the new Jr Government Whip: Hamilton’s very own Tim Macindoe who’s also only been an MP for six years.

should rile the public more than the pol getting a 3% pay increase.

The challenge is that we pay our politicians enough to avoid it becoming

Demanding more and better is a lot more satisfying than imagining a

a total rich mans game, and letting corruption seep in as politicians try

politician mildly disappointed.

and improve their pay packets (something that happens with alarming frequency in England, where politicians earn a lot less). We also want to avoide paying a weekly wage that creates a ruling class, with politicians becoming the “haves” while Joe Public become the “have nots”.

John Key has shown strong leadership in challenging the Independent Remuneration Authority and potentially changing the law in response to a public outcry. It’s an issue that’s been raised by a number of leaders fairly often over the last twenty years and it would be nice to see some real action for a change. Working out what we should pay our politicians is a difficult issue. Pegging raises for our leaders in line with teachers, nurses and other hard working New Zealanders is a good start.

9

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

Aries (March 21 — April 19) Don’t put your faith in the stars aligning to serendipitously

TRENDING ON TWITTER

deliver you to a certain someone. Instead plan for direct contact by tracking their daily activities and mapping their travel routes to class. Fate is for the lazy, go get ‘em tiger.

Taurus (April 20 — May 20) Dear Freshers (and seasoned but still immature 2nd & 3rd years), the divine spirits of space/time need you to work on your game. They haven’t specified which game, so plan to be perfect at all times about all things. Totally

#FOODIEBANDNAMES LaurieMcFarlane @Scholatemousse · Mar 3 Celine Dijon #FoodieBandNames

possible.

Gemini (May 21 — June 20) Survival sometimes means doing the absolutely necessary even when it goes against every fibre of your moral being. Like that time you forgot to bring a pen to class so you panicked and grabbed one from the Young Nats stand.

Cancer (June 21 — July 22) Due to the current financial climate your weekly horoscope was going to be replaced with an ad... but no one wanted this space despite our generous discounts. Which is kind of how you will feel after a week of being discarded

Whole Foods Market @WholeFoods · Mar 3 The Rolling Scones #FoodieBandNames 315

516

Damo @Kiely76 · Mar 3 Tina Turnip #FoodieBandNames 2

1

by one night stands accrued at Bar101.

Leo (July 23 — August 22) Take a deep breath and relax, #ORI2015 is done. You are no longer required to down a goon before the WSU vans depart for town. Just a

Rachel Tepper @racheltepper · Mar 3 John Lemon #FoodieBandNames 3

note, you were never required to do that in the first place, and the vomit was grossly unnecessary also.

Virgo (August 23 — September 22) “Sexy nickname” is an oxymoron. The “sexier”

Sports And Rock @SportsandRock · Mar 3 BLTLC #FoodieBandNames 3

you make it, the less it actually becomes. If you’re uncomfortable with your given name, go with John Smith, Ron Swanson, or other monikers of the lumberjack variety.

If you are female, avoid men with obviously fake names.

Libra (September 23 — October 22) Hey there young thing. If 2015 hasn’t delivered the goods yet don’t sweat. Re-evaluate your life in July, for now you have 4 months to piss away your time and money guilt-free. You are Chief Wiggum and life is a donut, let’s get obese.

Scorpio (October 23 — November 21) I wouldn’t bother reading till the end of this horoscope; it will only disappoint you further. No, really. Stop now. Just Google your star sign instead. You’re in a fragile state and we don’t want to aggravate your emotional condition. You suck.

Sagittatrius (November 22 — December 21) What a wonderful time to be alive! Relish in the weather (as forecasted at time of print) and grab a cider or two while it’s still seasonally appropriate. What 1pm class? Do they even have those? No, dear Nexus friend, not in our personal worldview and we heard worldview’s ought to be respected.

Capricorn (December 22 — January 19) Thesaurus.com with Nexus: we aren’t typically for overwrought semantics, but we’ll endeavour besides by expending preposterous words that no one would ever really have the apposite occasion to use, ever. This is the Wakachang after all, where everyone is a ‘bro.’ You will have a blessed week.

Aquarius (January 20 — February 18) We had one central takeaway from #ORI2015; wearable inflatable domes can make physical aggression seem warm and friendly.

Direct translation to your life; ease your unsavoury living situation by delivering backhanded compliments repeatedly until they are worn to a whimpering pile of subhuman existence. Hey man, flatting is hard.

Pisces (February 19 — March 20) Oh dear, you missed a few classes last week. Don’t stress little duck; you will still learn to swim. All that matters is the grade you get in the end, although it must at least be an A– so you can spew narcissism like “Yeah I got an A on that paper, but yeah I guess your B is still good”

10

N.02 / V.47

AUCKLAND MAYOR LEN BROWN LOOKS LIKE AN ANTARCTIC FUR SEAL

Entertainment NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME

BEATS BY J

“MY GOAL, IF I WAS GOING TO DO ART, FINE ART, WOULD HAVE BEEN TO BECOME PICASSO OR GREATER.” – Kanye West at his Oxford lecture last week

Martin Garrix Forbidden Voices Major Lazer Lean On (feat. MØ & DJ Snake) Ty Dolla $ign Drop That Kitty (feat. Charli XCX and Tinashe) Steve Aoki Get Me Outta Here (feat. Flux Pavilion) [Funkin Matt Remix] Skrillex & Diplo Take Ü There (feat. Kiesza) [Missy Elliott Remix] DJ Fresh Gravity [Radio Edit] Kygo Firestone Deorro Five More Hours

“ONE OF THEM’S GOT A MOUSTACHE, AND THAT’S UNACCEPTABLE.”

Galantis Runaway (U & I)

– Noel Gallagher on band Alt-J

WHAT’S HOT WHAT’S NOT

“I’M ‘SPIRITUAL, NOT MATERIALISTIC. THAT’S ONLY 10% OF MY LIFE.”

Kate Leach

– Kylie Jenner

Skrillex Where Are Ü Now (feat. Justin Bieber) Follow nexusmagazine on Spotify

What’s Hot 1. Kane Williamson. For services to the New Zealand Heart Foundation.

2. Trent Boult. For playing the innings of a lifetime.

3. Guptill, B. McCullum, Taylor, Elliot, Anderson, Ronchi, Vettori, Milne, Southee, N. McCullum, McClenaghan, Latham and Mills.

What’s Not

I’M FAR FROM FINISHED WITH FAMILY, FUN ENTERTAINMENT – Alleged serial rapist Bill Cosby

1. Waking up in the morning and feeling more tired than you did before you went sleep.

2. Those fucking Mister Maker ads. “Oooh I’m having an idea!” Me too bro, it’s called shut the fuck up!

3. John Key’s decision to deploy troops for the purpose of training Iraqi soldiers to fight Isis. “Democracy, it seems, is a military export not for domestic consumption.” – Russell Norman.

BEST OF THE WEB

ILLUSTRATORS ON INSTAGRAM

@eyebodega how do I explain this

@mattforsythe I feel like the child

@hattiestewart adorable pop art

@valfre cute as fuck, seriously just

Instagram? The bio says “post-

from Where the Wild Things owns

illustrations that’ll make you wonder

look at it.

apocalyptic modernism”, so let’s just

this instagram. It really is magical.

why you ever hated Warhol, then

go with that.

realise it’s because he’s a douche.

11

This team of Bachelor of Engineering (Honours) students converted a Waikato University utility van from a 1.3 litre petrol engine to an electric motor.

The van was showcased at the EVolocity eRally in Christchurch and will be used around the Waikato campus as a low-cost, highly sustainable transport alternative.

It’s another example of Waikato students and staff excelling in their fields.

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

FILM REVIEW

THE THEORY OF EVERYTHING

THE SECOND BEST EXOTIC MARIGOLD HOTEL

Jared Wooldridge

Richard Swainson

Another day, another movie about an English genius struggling

This broadly played and overly busy sequel to 2011’s The Best

with debilitating circumstances. But unlike The Imitation Game,

Exotic Marigold Hotel doesn’t always know where its trump

which focussed on a singular event in the life of Alan Turing,

cards are. When Maggie Smith, Judi Dench or Bill Nighy are on

James Marsh’s biopic of Stephen Hawking, The Theory of

screen it’s certain that laughs or tears are not too away but the

Everything, spans 30 years of the physicist’s life. From the onset

contrived situations involving other members of the ensemble

of motor neuron disease, to the release of A Brief History of

wear thin.

Time, it has everything you want in a biopic: romance, tragedy, heartbreak, and physics.

One of the strengths of the first film was that it was as much drama as comedy. Dench’s Eveyln Greenslade- an elderly British

Do not worry, though, The Theory of Everything will not explode

widow, relocated to India for her retirement - had real depth and

your brain with complex maths, but instead includes just enough

philosophical insight into her situation. Eveyln’s voice-over drove

so the audience can understand what Hawking is talking about.

the narrative and gave it some bite. The sequel shifts much of

The main focus of the movie is on his relationship with his wife

the focus to Smith’s Muriel Donnelly and at the outset at least

Jane, as they both struggle to live with his MND.

plays things for laughs, choosing to forget that the character was

Eddie Redmayne (who just won an Oscar for his portrayal of Hawking) completely transforms himself into the award winning physicist, and his descent into paralysis is both mesmerising and heart-wrenching to watch. However, Felicity Jones as his wife, Jane, puts in a performance easily equal to his, as she struggles with both her love for Hawking and the stresses that caring for him bring.

The performances of the two leading actors manages to bring The Theory of Everything out of standard biopic territory, following a predictable path through Stephen Hawking’s life, and make you care and feel for the plight of the struggling family.

That, and Hawking’s Dalek impersonation make it a good watch.

originally a working class racist. Multiple plot lines concerning the potential expansion of the hotel, the forthcoming marriage of proprietor Sonny and the variously complicated romantic intrigues of the others threaten to overwhelm proceedings. The addition of Richard Gere to an already top heavy cast is mere distraction.

An ending involving the now de rigueur Bollywood-style production number is fun if a little too predictable but the third act is really saved by a belated variation in tone. As Muriel’s health deteriorates she too acquires a sense of perspective and awareness of her own mortality. With an old pro like Smith reading the lines there is again not a dry eye in the house.

13

NEXUS MAGAZINE Reviews

BOOK REVIEW

MUSIC REVIEW

THE MAZE RUNNER

BY JAMES DASHNER

THE WORLD WITHIN

BY MODERATOR

Kelsie Morland

Hp

Now these books aren’t exactly new, but they’ve been thrust into

Moderator is a 22 year old Greek producer who just released

overdrive with the release of the new movie. So, I think it’s only

his new album, The World Within through Cult Classic Records.

fair that the books get the same recognition as the films.

Moderator has an almost horizontally relaxed take on woozy hip

Dystopian novels seem to be at their peak at the moment, with the likes of Hunger Games, The Divergent series and countless others acquiring commercial success.

The fact that our generation is so obsessed with this idea of dystopia is incredibly alarming… But that is for another review altogether.

This album simmers with strung out rap, sweet melodies, and soulful grooves; perfect for lazy weekends or late night sprawls in comfy places.

Opening track, Blind You to My Spell, is a sleepy grind with Jeanette Robertson’s velvet vocals bringing forth images of Harlem soul. MC Witness sounds barely awake as he creaks out

Now this wouldn’t be a dystopian novel without an intriguing

his verse adding yet another swirl in a room full of late night

and dangerous setting. Situated in the middle of a gigantic maze

smoke. It’s a beautiful track and Moderator’s biggest downfall on

(hence the name Maze Runner- ironic huh?), the Glade is where

this album is putting this song first and making it so hard to top.

we are introduced to the characters.

There are slinky grooves and mellow chants throughout this

At first, I thought this was going to be a bunch of people

album and while some of the tingling treble sound almost

having to survive in an enclosed space, much like the Hunger

Arabian Nights at times, it’s a sound clearly for soul lovers of the

Games. However, with the introduction of robotic beasts and a

50’s and 60’s. Mixing those grooves with modern beats, graceful

mysterious girl, this book kept me reading into the wee hours

production and a few guest MCs really bring together a cohesive

of the morning. With a gripping ending it definitely leaves the

sound. It’s not dated, but nods towards nostalgia. It’s the guest

reader with a lot of questions, such as “Would I survive this?” “Is

vocalist, Nieve, which brings the vibe forward with a slick

this really plausible?” and “Is it already happening?”

modern rap near the end of the record tying things up. Highly

Even so, there was something missing… I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but I just didn’t feel satisfied with the book as a whole. Perhaps it was my expectations of dystopian novels that marred my judgement, but the book just didn’t reach me. It is definitely still worth the read however.

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hop break beats and funky electronica and shows it off well here.

N.02 / V.47

recommended and you can download this one for free/koha through Cult Classic Records’ bandcamp page at the moment.

Well worth your time, ears, and (potentially) your money.

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

FOOD REVIEW

APP REVIEW

SIAN SUSHI

TRELLO

Caitlin Orton

Melissa Stevens

So you’ve paid this week’s rent and have ten dollars left to spend

Apps like this are often downloaded and excitedly filled with

up large. Feeling adventurous? Then go try Sian Sushi at Garden

tasks in a feeble attempt to convince yourself that you’re

Place!

becoming the organised person you’ve always dreamed of. Then

For around ten dollars you can hand pick a plate of freshly made sushi from the extensive variety on display. It’s the kind of artfully created sushi that, no matter how crummy the photo is, your Instagram followers will go right up. I’ve always been told

the app is closed and never opened it again. Trello is different: It stands above all other list making apps with its beautiful user interface and a subtle use of gamification to keep you coming back for more.

not to judge a book by its cover, so it was a relief when the taste

Trello keeps track of what tasks you need to do and tasks you

matched the mouth watering presentation.

have already done, leaving you with a wonderful feeling of

I’m calling it: this is the best sushi in Hamilton. Their sake salmon nigiri was so thick and fresh, it makes you wonder why so many

fulfillment and completion. You can create a project, put a checklist in it, and set a due date.

people refuse to try anything other than teriyaki chicken. They

Trello isn’t just an app, it’s also a website. I found this extremely

offered brown rice alternatives (for all of those who watched

helpful for when I did group projects. We made a checklist for

that episode on The Food Truck) and the staff were eager to

each person so everyone could see who was doing work and

explain all the different sushi fillings to those who ventured in.

who wasn’t. When I completed my part of the project I could

If you don’t mind the flow of angry pot smoking youth that dwell

upload it to the website for all those lazy freeloaders too see.

in the area, then go grab a plate of the best, and I do mean, the

This app is the best “to-do-list” app I have ever used- and being

best sushi in Hamilton. Why would you spend ten dollars on a

a forgetful university student, I have used them all. It is perfect

Hunger Buster Deal from McDonalds when you could have this

for keeping track of homework, tests coming up, and could even

fantastic healthy alternative -that’s only a ten minute drive from

be used at a flat to divide up work to make sure everyone is

the University. The amount of vitamins and nutrients that Sian

pulling their weight.

Sushi offers makes it the perfect place to go while trying to cram for that midterm that managed to sneak up on you.

I highly recommend this app to all forgetful students and any flats with lazy flatmates.

Note of the Meal: Make sure you understand what Tobiko is before you try it.

15

NEXUS MAGAZINE Auteur

Auteur House Presents... The Oscars!

importance of the former was clearly understood by both the industry

Richard Swainson

Made 17 years later but sharing a genius composer, Bernard Herrmann,

itself and any who took the medium seriously. Kane’s nine nominations even reflected the fact. However, it won but one Oscar, for original screenplay, the ultimate token award given out by a community that has never put much importance on writing. Because Kane mocked one of the most powerful media moguls in the country it was deemed unworthy.

Vertigo fared even worse at Oscar time. If a theme of sexual obsession was too strong for a conservative Academy it still beggars belief that Herrmann, director Alfred Hitchcock and leading players James Stewart The Oscars. The Academy Awards. Whichever label is attached to the American film industry’s annual festival of self-congratulation and massmarketing, I confess to being a life-long junkie. Auteur House stocks all but five of the now 87 Best Picture winners and a high percentage of Oscar recipients and nominees in other categories. In recent weeks our

Jodie Foster once said of Martin Scorsese before he was given his own overdue Oscar, Vertigo was “excluded from mediocrity”, its significance completely missed in a year where the lightweight musical Gigi was hailed as Best Picture.

display stands have been weighed heavy with these titles and/or those

Birdman’s win a fortnight back at the 2015 ceremony was a surprise to

films which SHOULD have won in their stead. To love the Oscars is almost

me. An excellent film, it would be difficult to argue the injustice of the

never to endorse Academy decisions. Most of the affection is, ironically,

decision.Nevertheless, if I had a vote it would have been cast for The

born of frustration. When it comes to misunderstanding their own art

Grand Budapest Hotel and most assumed that the actual winner would

form it is a constant wonder how idiotic, sentimental or prone to politics

be Boyhood, a masterpiece 12 years in the making. I suppose a movie

American filmmakers can be.

about ego and insecurity and the need for peer recognition was always

There are two text book examples. By common critical consensus the greatest films ever made are Citizen Kane and Vertigo. In 1941 the

16

and Kim Novak could possibly have failed to win even nominations. As

N.02 / V.47

going to resonate more than a simple story about growing up. Academy members are not interested in growing up.

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

College Comes to Campus Peter Dornauf

trenchant critiques of civilization between 1915 and 1924. It spilled over into writing in the work of James Joyce about the same time. Artists Robert Rauschenberg and Richard Hamilton, precursor to Pop Art, gave cut and paste a nudge while George Martin was mixing it up with the Beatles. Today in rap and hip-hop, it’s de rigueur. Even in religion ideas get collaged — a bit gets flinched from one place and added to something else from another. Sometimes you can spot the joins. The classic case is the cut from science, (as in evolution) and pasting it over bits of the book of Genesis. The effect can be slightly surreal.

It’s not often New Zealanders are at the forefront of the world stage.

We’re a tiny Island down the bottom of the world and we have to shout a little louder because of that.

In Jude Broughan’s work you can definitely see the joins. Indeed that’s what makes it so energetic. There’s a deliberate roughness to the pieces, yet at the same time they possess a measured elegance. Love the push

Sometimes we are seen and heard. Peter Jackson of course, Eleanor, you

and pull of contradictions. A good deal of frisson is extracted from

did me wrong, Catton, and even more recently, screenwriter, Anthony

the work because of that incongruity. Check out Stock, for instance, a

McCarten, for The Theory of Everything. None of these sorts of people

work made of various materials — vinyl, polyester, film transparencies,

came from Hamilton, the Nazareth of New Zealand.

stretchers, gesso and thread. That’s a lot going on here but she brings

Until now, that is. Jude Broughan, a budding Hamilton artist, many years ago went to New York on holiday and never came back. She established her studio in Brooklyn and from there set out to make her way in the Big Apple, exhibiting in galleries not only in New York but also Vienna.

it together with an audacious flair and ragged aplomb. The crudely configured elements that play off the strict geometric forms also adds to the appeal. The fact that you can see the stretcher poking out from under the bottom is part of the fun.

She is certainly making her way and making a bit of a splash with her

But it’s the hole in the middle that does it for me. Remember that adman

contemporary collaged works, a collection of which are currently showing

joke about selling biscuits with a hole in the middle — the non-fattening

on campus at the Calder and Lawson gallery, inside the Academy.

part? It’s something like that here. The hole helps break the surface illusion

Collage itself was used by Picasso and Braque at the beginning of the Twentieth Century, but every so often it gets a makeover and reinvents itself. The Dada iconoclasts were good at it during the war, making

the work is trying to build up. Different textures, the delicious wonkiness and the slightly ill-fitting abutments provide an offbeat unbalance to something attempting balance. Great stuff.

17

NEXUS MAGAZINE 50 Years of Nexus

FROM THE VAULT

Brown Power?

Prof. J. Ritchie.

There is a speed up in the development of Negro identity,

with others of his kind. In this it is a return to an affirmation

a filling out, a richness that is quite phenomenal when one

of the inviolability of the individual and his freedom to be in

compares the present situation with a decade ago. Then the

his own terms and in his own time-not for future generations

Negro was offered, by American society, a highly restricted

but now! Every army, every dictator, every political system in

set of rules, you can read about them in Cash’s ‘Mind of the

history has ignored this; domination is impossible unless one

Self’, or in a host of social science reports which through to

permits oneself to be dominated.

the fifties gave pretty much the same picture of black identity wherever you went. The Civil Rights Movement was the first effective appeal to political power in order to achieve some change in Negro status and Negro identity. But even here the image offered to blacks was essentially that of white liberal America. The Civil Rights Movement was virtually saying be like us and you will be ‘good’. That was not too much different from what the prejudiced South had been saying all the way through–be like we tell you to be and everything will be alright. With the failure of the Civil Rights Movement to move Negro liberty ahead there is a natural reaction (still in political terms) to this, and this is where Black Power emerged in the Black Moslem Movement. This Movement offered Negroes not white Americans status but something entirely different. It rejected American status, American citizenship, American concepts of the good life and set up as a goal, a mythic model the Negro as the inheritor of a black tradition-Negritude. This fiction was itself an impossible vessel for Negro identity. It was too thin and too spurious but it did set many young Negroes–not all of them intellectualsoff on a quest for identity and it is this which has led to Soul Power, Black Power, The Black Panthers, Harlem Youth Incorporated and the other phenomena of Negro realisation.

In New Zealand the situation is less florid, but in essence the logic of Black Power applies. New Zealanders in general offer to Maoris, and to Islanders, basically two alternatives: be like everyone else or act in terms of social stereotypes of how Maoris and Islanders should behave. Any Maori who chooses neither of those two alternatives is likely to find that both Maori and Pakeha society as at present constituted will exclude him from an accepted status. The fact of the language of such stereotypes here is relatively benign takes the heat out of race relations but does not decrease their limiting effect on Maori individuals. We have a directly comparable situation to the North of American prior to the great post-war wave of black migration from the South. The Black Moslems, the Black Power, the Black Panthers and a host of other movements were a result of the changed system of social forces that migration brought. In a directly comparable way the movement of Maoris to towns and the migration of Islanders from the Pacific should have disturbed the climate of race relations in New Zealand and brought these matters to question. That is happening but only very slowly. Most New Zealanders still hope that people with brown skins will quickly become ordinary neighbours, citizens, workmates and so on, in ways that will not disturb

Now the concept of power has changed its meaning. It is in

the placid, if dull, surface of their day to day life. But that

our tradition to think of power in political terms, to associate

mode of social existence is so dreary, uneventful, unexciting,

it with people who have power or who have access to power

lacking in personal and social fulfillment and dominated

or who can release power. “The power of the West” is an

by market and marketing values that there will be a large

expression of cultural paranoia. Black Power is not because

number of Maoris and Islanders who will not accept the deal.

it redefines power in new terms. It seeks not merely the social and cultural trappings of political power and economic power, important though these be, but to release the power

I think we are going to see quite a lot of Brown Power here, and ultimately the effects can only be good.

within the individual. The power of expressiveness, of creativity, of his collective strength through soul relations

18

N.02 / V.47

Nexus — August 5th, Vol 3, No. 9. 1970

50 Years of Nexus NEXUS MAGAZINE

Growing Old Disgracefully

important. So, we have three goals and we aren’t going to stop working on them

James Raffan, Nexus Managing Editor

former Nexus Editors Graeme Cairns and Nandor Tánczos. Neither of whom have

until we achieve them or hit new years day. So here are our big goals for Nexus 50: We want WSU President Shannon Stewart to throw us a big 50th Birthday in....fuck it... let’s say August. No expense spared, ice swans, drugs, and MC’d by notable been asked to do it.

The new VC, Neil Quigley; or Quigsy, Quiggles, or Q-Dogg to his friends (shout it out to him when you see him, he loves it), should take the entire 50-year archive

LSD was legal, Vietnam had moved from a police action to a 10-year long war

of Nexus from our storage cupboard and digitise the whole thing. We assume

and Nexus Editor Jess Wilson was still 31 years from being born. A group of

he is probably already thinking this. Quiggles is smart enough to know that a

discontented students, ones who had seen the illusion of the kiwi quarter acre

connection to the past is the way to build a bright future. Besides, at 12k it would

evaporate and replaced with open protest in the streets, decided they needed to

be the best birthday present ever. Thanks in advance Quigsy.

make their voices heard. And within a matter of months the fledgling “Waikato Student” was born. Back then it was mainly written in phonetics- the University was still a functional dairy farm after all. Three short years later, the magazine had outgrown its “Waikato Student” moniker and taken on a new name... Nexus, from the Latin term meaning connection.

This year marks our 50th anniversary. To commemorate this event, we are going to work on a stack of cool things. Jess and Brittany are locked in the archive sorting through 50 years of magazines for columns from the vault. Crafty is redecorating the office, and we are getting a bunch of old writers and Editors from the last 50 years to write and publish reflections and tips from their time at Nexus. We

We would like Salient Magazine at Victoria University in Wellington to immediately cease publication for the good of all students everywhere. We don’t actually care if this one happens, but lists work better in threes and what they are doing down there is tantamount to literature genocide.

So starting next week, we will hopefully have some old friends join us and maybe a progress update on our goals. On a personal note, we want to thank everyone from the last 50 years for setting a tone and creating a legacy as both critic and conscience of this University. We will continue to work each day not to completely fuck it up.

also wanted to use this trip down memory lane to try to accomplish something

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19

NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

Lynch the Landlord: Why Your Rent is Sky-Fucking-High Philip McSweeney

Last year Nexus got drunk at the Aoteroa Press Award and

The Incongruent Triangle of the flat-hunter would have three

we were so on form that we stole Victoria University writer

ideals: Good Price, Good Location and Good Flat. Time was

Philip McSweeney. We have been keeping him in a locked

you could get two of these things at the expense of the

basement since October but we let him out this week to

other, i.e. you could live in a dream flat at an affordable rate

explore renting costs. Just be aware If you find Phil in your

if you were prepared to live in the ass-end of Nawton. Since

flat he is our property now and we want him returned after a

the economy took a shit and died, and with rent prices being

shower and a change of clothes.

hiked up by gleeful landlords on an annual, you’d be lucky to

There is a weird little trope that goes a little something like this: when you’re looking for a romantic partner, there are three categories you’re looking for — intelligence, good looks, and sanity. Conventional wisdom, usually espoused my misogynists, insists that no-one meets all three criteria

20

find a flat that ticks two of those boxes, let alone three. Shit, you’d be lucky to find one. This, by the way, is hard enough to do for yopros or people on steady incomes. If you’re a student living off the measly sum the government gives you every week? No chance.

– you can have two, but necessarily at the expense of the

On the bright side, it’s better renting in the Mighty Waikato

other. So a person who is gorgeous and smart must be

than it is in, say, the metropolises of Auckland or Wellington,

insane. Someone who is clever and mentally stabmust have

especially the former. Auckland now has the dubious quality

a face that would come second in a beauty contest against

of being the 16th most expensive city to live in in the world,

a brick wall, and so on. This theorem, as it applies to people,

overtaking even Melbourne and Perth, and Wellington isn’t

is demonstrably untrue — but what if we apply it to flatting?

far behind at 39th. But it’s still pretty shit. The average rent

N.02 / V.47

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

for a three-bedroom in Hamilton is 353 buxxx, which even

extremely outdated. Though the tribunal can technically

divided by 3 leaves you with about 50 bucks to spend once

force a landlord to reduce rent if it ‘exceeds the market rent

your rent is taken out of your studylink. Craving solitude

by a substantial amount’, guess who is control of market

and in the mood for a one bedroom? 184 dollars please.

rent? Landlords and, in the time of a recession, the laws

It’s a bit cheaper for most student places, of course. A one

of supply and demand, as well as that good ol’ invisible

person, centrally located ‘student flat’ could be as cheap as

hand. To makes matters worse, rents can only be decreased

140 dollars — still more expensive than the national average

if someone lodges a complaint. There is no watchdog

of 131, but comparatively pretty dece. The amount you pay

organization to ping landlords, and many tenants have no

decreases at a rate constant with the amount of extra rooms

idea about their rights to complain against exorbitant prices.

in your flat. But see the formula above; the less you pay, the more derelict and untenable the flat, or the further away from uni. There’s no winning.

There is a potential glimmer of jif amongst the mould. There is proposed legislation, backed by VUWSA and University of Otago Wellington, that if implemented would demand

I don’t fancy my prose enthralling enough to think you’re

a mandatory Renting Warrant of Fitness for all flats about

still reading this far in, but if you are there’s a chance you’re

to let. This ‘WOF’ would test homes to see if they meet the

reading it in your incommodious wee hovel in the hinterlands

standard for liveability — check up on insulation, heating et

where running water and working plumbing are considered

al.

new-fangled and ritzy. If you’re reading it before bed, you might even be listening to your flatmates fuck on the other side of your wall, so permeable is the ‘insulation’ in many residences. As you bitterly hope your flatmate is a two-pump chump so you can get some goddamn sleep in peace, you might find cause to wonder: how the hell did it come to this?

It was recently been trialled in five new Zealand cities and the results were Not Good — around 94 percent of the homes would not pass a flatting WOF and only 36 percent of those that failed needed small repairs likely to cost under 150 dollars (remember what I said about most landlords being about as pleasant as anal creampies?). While half

The answer is greed, landlords, lack of regulation, and, err,

the landlords surveyed seemed to back the scheme being

the government. Before you accuse me of paranoia and

ratified into policy, the landlords association of New Zealand,

ask me and my tin-foil hat to go on our way, let me explain.

which I imagine is like the meeting of the witches from Roald

Landlords (plural form: ‘an unscrupulousness of’) are,

Dahl’s book, has warned that implementing a mandatory

without doubt, some of the most wretched human beings

property WOF would result in higher rent to offset the 300

to ever walk the earth. This is not much of an exaggeration.

price – and while proponents of the scheme insist that they

The tenancy tribunal is a sector of government that was

couldn’t do it legally because it would be something they

actually — I shit you not — implemented to curtail their

had to do by law, there are no legal checks on landlords to

devilishness. According to one DHB liaison, who wishes to

prevent them from upping the rent.

remain anonymous and whom I am happy to oblige, the tenancy tribunal was initiated because landlords refused to acknowledge bond payments at the end of tenancies; failed to keep accurate receipts and overcharged rent; charged tenants for things that were not their responsibility; kicked tenants out with only one or two days notice, the whole kit and caboodle. Before the Tenancy Tribunal was set up, tenants only option was costly legal recourse, and while things have improved, many tenants are unaware they have access to the Tenancy Tribunal’s help, meaning some landlords continue their nefarious behaviour unchecked — some even mislead tenants about their legal obligations.

The reason they get away with this is because of little government regulation. Laws pertaining to rented properties have not been updated since the Residential Tenancies Act of 1986, which surely did not anticipate the proliferation of renters that have emerged as owning a home became less and less feasible, and has several measures that are

Ultimately, this means that while you might end up getting more for the amount of money you pay, the chances of renting prices declining soon are slim to none. While there are other initiatives in place to support tenants getting their monies worth — landlords are required to pay 75 percent of getting a heat pump or ventilation system installed, for instance — no one is willing to target the amount of monies people have to pay. This affects our most vulnerable communities the hardest, and so as students it definitely, irremediably affects you. Something’s gotta give.

Until that changes, I recommend hitting up the Tenancy Tribunal for advice on how to get the most bang for your buck and how not to get screwed over. Arm yourself with as much noodles as you can afford and wait for the revolution to come. If nothing else, its good fodder for the memoirs — and hopefully we’ll be the generation that combats landlords’ shiftiness once and for all.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

The Bonds We Make Tyla Bidois

A little bit like Drake’s new album, if you’re reading this, it’s

house or apartment. Enjoy the home you’ve moved into and

probably too late. You’ve more than likely already settled

the people who’re stuck with you for the year, because you

into your cosy nook in the student halls, or you’ve moved into

can think you know a person, but a shared lease is a public

your first, second or third flat, ideally somewhere close to the

declaration that you intend to really get to know them, this

university campus — but let’s be honest, sometimes that’s

includes their levels of good and ugly that you previously

pretty bloody expensive and the competition for the closer

never knew existed. If it’s the first time you’ve flatted, it’s

properties can be fierce, so maybe a place closer to town, or

perfectly natural to feel a little drunk on independence (as

getting a little further out, think Claudelands, Chartwell, or

well as the celebratory booze) — we’ve all been there, and

Te Rapa. The geographical location may be different, require

we won’t judge you even if your parents helped you pay that

a little more attention to car-pooling and/or bus-routes, but

bond. Christen your place. Figure out a way to make it yours.

for those of us who’ve ventured out of Studentville and don’t

But as with everything, all highs are generally followed with

have a Hamilton-based family to give us a headquarters by

lows. In the world of university real estate, those lows can

proxy, we’ve made our own for the next twelve months by

come in the form of broken friendships and a cut in your

signing our names on a rental lease.

bank account, so make sure you pay attention and keep it

There’s two ways to look at this situation, and both are equally valid.

One, it’s a brilliant thing. Look at you, little grown-up, figuring your life out and getting a big grown-up to trust you with a

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N.02 / V.47

cute.

Which leads into the second way of looking at it — as an opportunity to lose a shit-load of money. Probably not the most uplifting way to put it, but as any Hamilton native or

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

student who has gone through more than two real estate

of your open dialogue to see you through if you choose to go

agencies could tell you, there’s a reason why there are so

into the office with a complaint.

many subdivisions around campus being renovated into apartment buildings: We students make people a hell of a lot of money. The university assures landlords and real estate managers around it a steady income. While many agents can be all smiles when showing you the property and getting your signature on the contract, there are a lot of horror stories out there, particularly in regards to getting that lump sum you gave that landlord at the beginning of your tenancy back.

Get Decent Flatmates It goes without saying, but execute some wisdom with the people you choose to flat with. If anyone moves into your flat later on, make sure they get put on the lease and pay their share of the bond, either direct to their flatmates who originally paid it or to the company itself (with the proper reimbursements prepared for the original signers).

Unfortunately, sometimes people need to be tied down by law to keep to their promises, but at least this way, you

Studylink doesn’t make any of us millionaires and generally

know no one can just up and move out without arranging a

likes to see us push our budgeting skills to the absolute limit,

replacement. You’re still playing a game of Russian Roulette,

so keeping yourself and your household secure should be a

but at least if you go down, they go down with you.

real priority — because it’s an important one.

Automatic Payments

Drawing from a pool of fourth year students’ bad experiences

Make automatic payments your best friend. When it comes

with the management side of flatting, here’s a few pieces of

to the rent, at least. Opt for a flat account if you need one,

advice to (hopefully) see you through the year and ensure

but not a flat card if you can help it. Flat cards can lead to

you won’t be taken for a ride by any manager near or far.

trouble down the line with communal funds being used

Don’t Give into Uncleanliness So you’ve moved into a property that hasn’t been professionally cleaned and appears to still be occupied by

for individual items, and even in a non-malicious scenario, snowball into bills being held off so flatmates can pay the flat account back.

the previous tenants’ dirt. This is a common situation of many

Slow Down

a student who has leaped at a property out of necessity (lack

Take screenshots of your property’s online advertising,

of time, lack of options) and found themselves beginning the

particularly if they claim to have no letting fee, but even

year as an unpaid cleaner. Make sure the property manager

if they don’t — and especially make a point to do this if

is made aware of any mess and arranges a professional clean

you’re working with a relatively younger and smaller rental

— it should be a small red flag if they don’t — and if you elect

company, like Quality Rental Management or Homelett. Be

to clean the house yourself, take pictures of everything first.

on the ball about this if you’re getting your flat a little late in

Email them to yourself so you don’t lose them. All tenants

the game, because unfortunately some managers see your

are given forms to return to their real estate agencies

panic as opportunity. It’s obscene the amount of accounts

stipulating all marks and “unnatural” features of the property

of students going into sign for a property, only to find the

within the first two weeks. Make sure you return it, even if

marketed weekly rent ten, twenty dollars more than the rent

it’s inconvenient, and note down every-single-fucking-thing.

stipulated on the contract. And because it’s so last minute

Speaking from personal experience, you very well may find

and they think they have no other option, they’ll sign the

your bond being used as a renovation fund if you don’t, with

damn thing anyway.

your landlord being struck by a strange case of amnesia that removes the final inspection of their previous tenants just in time to affect your bond returns. Do it even if you like your landlord. Do it even if you like your property manager. Just because they’re nice doesn’t mean they don’t want your money.

Of course there are some great property agencies and managers out there who aren’t blood-suckers, and maybe for a lot of student renters, the introduction to fixed-term leases hasn’t been a slow unveiling of

how two-faced,

manipulative and money-hungry some people can be to university students who’re living on their asses as is. And

Ask Around

that’s awesome. But the best offense is a good defense.

The older and more reputable the real estate management

Make sure your foundation’s solid so you can pay attention

agency, the safer it’ll probably be to sign with them. Make

to the important things, like developing some spectacular

sure you read online reviews. Keep a log of the messages you

moments with your flatmates, opening yourself up to new

send your property manager, so if anything goes wrong or if

adventures, and creating that perfect balance between

there’s a lag in communication on their end, you have proof

binge-drinking and academic achievement.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

Basic Flatting Tips For The Average Shitty Student Samantha Brill

As students, no one expects us to get much right, in fact this

If you are a female, and a male flatmate says to you

is generally considered our stuff-up period, which is really

something like, “wow, could you have taken any longer

great since that’s all I seem to be doing. However, after a

in there?” just politely inform him that perhaps if you had

few years of flatting it’s become a necessity to at least

yet another area on your body that needed shaving, then

pretend I’ve got my shit together. When living with people

yes you could have taken longer. It doesn’t even need to be

more or less your own age you can expect a few hiccups

true! If he looks really uncomfortable at this then you have

here and there. I’m talking about dirty dishes, prolonged

succeeded and may now march off very sassily.

showers, disputes about the right to party on a Thursday night, that kind of thing. If you want to know how to get away with doing all these things, here are a few tips on how to trick people into thinking you’re a responsible tenant and genuinely decent human being.

How to Get Away with Having Long Showers You know what, if someone has a problem with you adding an extra few minutes onto your special you-time; you don’t need them in your life. However, you might be stuck living with them for the rest of the year, so here’s how you can get away with enjoying a nice long shower.

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However, if he doesn’t seem fazed and is still trying to be bossy, go ahead and list all the places that needed shaving and even venture into the graphic state of things prior to your justifiably lengthy shower. He probably won’t ask you about it again. You go girl.

If you are a male and someone in the flat comments on your shower time, just say something along the lines of, “well you know what, I figured since I haven’t showered in three days I was allowed three times as much of a shower.” Not only will you be left alone, but you might even be flat out avoided, which, if you’re anything like me, is a double win.

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

How to Argue About Parties on a Thursday Night

the stain until it’s fully absorbed. This should do the trick and

Okay so it’s pretty common for students to party on a

if not it will still make for a pretty decent party story.

Thursday night, regardless of any early classes you may have the next day. But sometimes when you’re living with people who seriously consider this to be a weeknight and need a solid sleep, you tend to butt heads. So here’s how to get away with having a party on a Thursday night.

How to Hide Your Pet from Your Landlord If you’re attempting to do this, you are one of the best people out there. There are so many ways of getting around the whole “no pets” rule. Firstly, if the landlord makes a surprise visit, it’s your “mum’s” cat okay. She’s gone out of town and

Invite them. Start talking about the party a few days before,

you’re being a fantastic kid and looking after her pet. If your

if you’ve already planned it, and convince them to join in.

landlord doesn’t believe you, just ask mum to ring him and

That way if they hang out for a bit, they’ll feel too guilty to

confirm your story.

complain when they do head off to bed. Also giving them notice is a huge thing, it makes you look more put-together and gives them a chance to sleep somewhere else. If you do all these things, and your flatmate has not said to you that they are unhappy with the plan, then you are completely in the right and can go ahead and enjoy yourself.

If you have a bit of notice, grab your furry companion along with their toys and litter box and ask a mate to look after them for a while, or put them in the car for a bit (with someone to keep them calm of course). If your landlord doesn’t give you a specific time for inspection, either ask someone to hang out with your pooch for the day or take

How to Clean Bodily Fluids Off Upholstery

him/her into work with you. It’ll be like a little adventure for

Blood. There are many fascinating stories behind the stains

them. This is just one of the reasons why you should always

we find on couches, especially in the homes of students.

maintain a healthy relationship with your neighbours.

There’s no doubt we know how to get the stains on there, but let’s be honest — none of us know how to get rid of them.

Putting a cushion over it doesn’t really work. So let’s start with blood. Whether you have a cut or you finally killed your douchebag flatmate — it’s okay, here’s what you need to do.

Mix a solution of two cups of cold water and one tablespoon of dishwashing liquid, using a clean white cloth to sponge the mixture onto the stain. Blot the solution until the liquid is absorbed. Repeat the blotting until you can see the stain is removed from the couch. Once this is done, take some cold water and a new clean white cloth and sponge the area

Generally, landlords don’t care about pets as long as you aren’t stupid about it. There’s not really much they can be bothered doing once you’ve moved in, as long as you take care of the place.

How to Get Away with Not Doing the Dishes Dishes? What dishes? At times we can all be a little slack when it comes to maintaining a clean environment, and doing dishes seems like the least of our worries. A good way to get around washing your bowls and plates is to just slide them under your bed.

to get rid of any cleaning mixture that might be left, then

I used to live with a guy who was notorious for this and it

simply blot dry.

really worked for him, until we all caught on and had to come

Vomit. We’ve all got that one friend with the glitter eye shadow and a tendency to spew at inconvenient times. If this

to his room if we wanted to make dinner. One time someone went in for a bowl and found a sex toy. It was traumatic.

happens on your couch, the sooner you start cleaning the

So if you’re okay with this, go for it. If not, and you want to

spot the better, as it’s hard to remove dried vomit. You need

go for the sneakier option, wait till someone’s used a pan

to get heaps of paper towels and scrape up all the excess

or whatever you need. When they go to their room to eat,

vomit. Make sure you get a spoon or something to remove

quickly cook your dinner in that pan and they’ll probably end

the little leftovers, it’s really important for it all to be gone.

up coming back to wash it. Win!

Now sprinkle a generous amount of baking soda or

Congratulations, you are now a responsible adult. The only

cornstarch over the stain. Wait about 15 minutes before you

trick you can’t learn is how to pay the rent late without

vacuum over the area, repeating the sprinkle and vacuum

getting kicked out. There’s no getting around that, unless

routine until all residue is gone.

you’re prepared to shake some ass. But that’s totally a no-

Next you need to blot some dry-cleaning solvent (which as a

go...because you’re a real hard-working classy-ish individual.

student, you probably don’t have but hey) into what’s left of

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Girls Only: Hillcrest

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

Caitlyn, Ali, and Melissa call themselves ‘The Babe Trifecta’, or so I’d like to think.

We arrive at the house just after midday to find Melissa and Caitlyn’s grinning faces. Ali is away, but the pair have enough energy today to take her place.

The girls are incredibly close, you almost feel like you’re intruding -but their kindness makes you feel like you’re almost a part of their crew.

“Living with such cool girls is cool,” stated Melissa, “A lot of night’s its like we are just friends having a sleepover. We watch movies and talk about our lives.”

I could already tell from the way they were snickering and giggling that this was certainly the case.

The white house (not to be confused with ‘The White House’) is humble and fairly conservative. This house was not built to show off or impress guests, but to house a group of people linked in their mutual admiration and love for one another.

Melissa says the best thing about flatting is “the freedom to do whatever I want,” continuing “I can come and go as I please.”

If you won’t kill me for being so cliche: this is not a house, but a home.

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N.02 / V.47

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

Photography: Cameron Robinson

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

THE SINGLE LIFE

Tinder Etiquette for Dummies

Firstly, the all important bio — this section is available to write a

Emma Nygard

not justify the fact you now look like a complete tosser. Especially

few short sentences about yourself, but is more often used as a self promotional tool for instagrams and snapchats.

Let me just tell you this — the few follows or adds you receive does when you have a username like AnalFreak69. In saying that, a hundred-page memoir reflecting on your life is also not cool. Short n sweet is key. Just leave the important details, name, age, and

I may not be good at sport and I may not be particularly intelligent or gifted in the art of anything useful — but something I can pride

Don’t try to fool people into thinking you’re good looking. Don’t

you decide for yourself whether this is an accomplishment or

post photos standing next to all your hot mates, because you will

something to be severely embarrassed about, but for the sake of

get caught out when the full stalk commences and the person

my self-esteem we’re going to look at this as a positive. Emma

discovers you are the only one who features in all five group

is my name, and Tinder is my game. So, let me help you to help

photos. Similarly you are not Francisco Lachowski, this is Hamilton,

yourself to PIMP out that profile, so you too can boast a small

not Hollywood, nobody looks like that- remember Catfish is only

army of Tinder matches.

entertaining when you’re watching it! Just be yourself and if that’s not enough there’s always the Nexus BLIND date!

in a flat with 3 other self-confessed lonely ladies has only solidified

Lastly, just don’t be a cunt! Don’t like people for entertainment

this belief for me. Tinder isn’t just for desperate weirdos, of course

(some people actually take it very seriously) also don’t offer free

they do feature, myself being one of them, but my flatmates are

psych evaluations for people who don’t reply immediately to your

all kind of normal. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

message. No, I’m not just on Tinder for an ego boost Tyler, you

Once you have made the life changing decision to create a Tinder account, you will have an array of other factors to think about.

N.02 / V.47

not ‘pretentious life quotes’, you’re not John Green- shut up.

myself in is having 300+ (relatively) good Tinder matches. I’ll let

Let me just start by saying you’re not too good for Tinder. Living

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please, for the love of God remember ‘bio’ stands for ‘biography’

know who you are.

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

CARNAGE

India: Observations from an Unenlightened Student Jules Craft

Drugs and Alcohol They’re here, they’re everywhere. Anywhere in the world if you want drugs or alcohol bad enough, you can find them in some shape or form. The weird thing is both are accessible as fuck in India, but they don’t really have as much social power. Most locals are more interested in gathering for worship, sitting down with a mate for a chai, or simply being with their friends and family. I could barely believe it when we were taken for a night out on the town and we started drinking at the bar around 11am, like shit I need to be at least 7 or 8 cindy’s deep if I’m about to socialize with strangers, 11 or 12 deep if it’s karaoke- what the hell is this! That’s not to say they don’t dance with the devil. It seems to simply be more of a balance thing. Once again, it is a smaller, not so integral, part of life as a whole and used for celebration and in times when you have no work or responsibilities. Not sure about jumping on

India. First off the place is a mindfuck. Alice had a pretty chill time in wonderland, compared to the absolute chaos that you find in India. I’d probably trust that trippy cat with big eyes more than I would some of the stall owners that exist in the seedy alleyways around Delhi. In saying that, showing up to the country with 30 days and no plans is the best thing I have ever done in my meager 20 years of life. Spending time over there made me feel wiser and more stupid- all at the same time. Despite the obvious differences of food and clothing, it was a massive culture shock. I did my best to keep an open mind and take the culture differences for what they were. Without further a due, here are a few naïve, most likely uninformed, observations.

this kaupapa at the moment but a nice thing to see none the less.

Religion/Spirituality This is a curve ball for me you see, I’m not really sure how I feel about the whole situation. It’s my personal belief that spirituality is a real but intangible thing that must be considered in your life. I think you find your own spirituality, religion/religious texts shouldn’t be followed word for word. I think where “Atheists” go wrong is disowning all religious beliefs and teachings. These are ways of life that have been around for thousands of years, helping guide man and woman to lead a happy healthier life (not always of course). I mean I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty stoked our culture is influenced by commandments that tell us not to

Sexuality

kill, steal, be disrespectful to parents, lie, or betray someone you

I didn’t feel like I had to fuck everything that moves over there.

love (no I’m not saying atheists believe otherwise). I definitely

It might sound weird for a dude to say this, but talking about

haven’t even scratched the surface and am no way near qualified

fucking and being expected to try and fuck 24/7 is kind of tiring.

enough to comment on any specific religion but I will say that

Sex isn’t considered to be the be all and end all. The contrast is

India’s open approach to spirituality and religion creates a much

most recognizable in the people my own age. You seem to able

healthier learning environment. Hindu culture promotes individual

to talk to them for hours without needing to mention how badly

spirituality and the idea that your religion (or not religion) is your

you want to put a girl in the dog. Of course they think about it,

choice. It is not taboo to talk about religion in India the way it is

everyone does, rooting is amazing, shit boys and girls this is the

in New Zealand and as a result you are able to have comfortable

culture that created Karma Sutra. They are well aware of sex and

discussions about religion, which are more of an exchange of

the gratification granted from it, the difference seems to be that

ideas rather than a battlefield for belief dominance. It was really

they see it as an integral but smaller part of life. From my basic

nice to learn about ancient texts and history without feeling like

understanding, in general, the belief is you work your way towards

people were trying to sell me something, mind you everyone was

sex, first you build your mind, then gather wealth, and when you

trying to sell me something hahahaha.

can support a household you get married and get your ruts on!

I’ve just always seen sex as a rite of passage, the sooner I could

Random Shiet. Hope you enjoyed. xo

root the cooler I’d be, and if I could root heaps then I’d be a legend.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

ALC 101

Lesson Two: The Flatwarming

3. Drinking vessels: Cups are recommended and wine glasses

Drunk Professor

House Rules

preferred (brightly coloured plastic Warewhare ones suffice).

You are students, not billionaires, so if guests outnumber vessels, mugs and/or jars will suffice.

Your house; your rules. All flatmates are responsible for the state of the place. Remember: Any damage comes out of your bond, and more importantly any mess is your hangover problem. If there’s an It is typical of human cultures to participate in social gatherings surrounding food. New Zealand specific customs are known as: the ‘pot-luck dinner’, or the ‘quiet barbie’. New Zealand students

sprinkle some baking soda on the red, it’ll lift it right out).

1. Permission to sleep: The flat council calls the shots, don’t make

disregard for norms, such as, bringing a plate to a gathering or

this a free-for-all on a Facebook event. Provide some Sally Army

making a salad to accompany the meat provided by the host.

blankets for the couch (great start-of-year investment, come

Students distinguish themselves from other demographics

winter you’ll be grateful. Trust me).

through specific social gatherings, namely: the ‘flatwarming’.

2. Noise control: If noise control turns up, turn the music down.

food is optional, and all events run on a BYO basis.

Although a straightforward concept, I have seen many an issue arise over this basic principle.

3. Circle of Death Rules: Spending twenty minutes trying to find a

Entertainment Provisions

pen and negotiate Four Kings rules is boring. Create house rules,

This flatwarming represents a union of multiple students into one

write ‘em up in vivid and stick ‘em on the wall.

communal residence. To initiate feelings of camaraderie amongst residents and residents’ friends alike, it is suggested that the hosts should provide the following:

Most importantly: Have fun, talk to new people and don’t make a total dick of yourself by being the dumbass vomiting at 6pm because you can’t handle a funnel. The flatwarming is a rite of

1. Cards: Four Kings — or Circle of Death — requires a full pack of

passage for students, and one which will be forgotten for many

cards, an agreed upon rule sheet (refer to ‘House Rules’ to explore

years to come.

further), and a group of 3 or more participants. Perfect for learning more about your flatmates is the “Never Have I Ever...” card.

2. Speakers & aux cord: Music is compulsory for filling awkward silences. Warning: music choices may split party-goers into pro/ anti *insert music genre* groups.

N.02 / V.47

spilling merlot on your carpet then tell them to take a hike (and

sidestep these socially sanctioned customs and display flagrant

The following is a guide to flatwarming social etiquette where

30

arrogant dicklord shuffling on your coffee table or a sass-queen

Next week Drunk Professor gets fiscal with a guide to drinking on a student budget.

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

A FASHIONABLE LIFESTYLE

Fashion Combos for the Eternally Clueless

I’ve Heard of Cobain: Black/Grey Maxi Dress + Loose Plaid Shirt

Jess Wilson

The French are undoubtedly the best dressers, and this is the

Either wear the plaid shirt as one usually does, or tie it around your hips to encourage boys with man buns to eye you up. After lunch I like to tie the shirt around my waist to hide my food baby.

Think about it.

French Me: Loose Breton Shirt + Slim Black Pants or Jeans classic outfit for the fashionable French woman. Complete the look with a garlic-fried snail hanging from your lips.

I’m Taken: White or Black Scoop T Shirt + Classic Boyfriend

Does the phrase “I have nothing to wear” ring any bells? It’s

Jeans

an issue as old as time: The morning struggle of staring at an

Nothing is chicer than a woman wearing a hot dude’s jeans. If you

overflowing closet, unable to make a rational decision on what to

don’t condone heteronormative stereotypes, then opt for a v-neck

wear. Usually, you end up wearing something you’re unsure of, or

t-shirt. The ‘v’ in the v-neck shirt stands for virginity and vaginal,

worse, track pants. So here for you, my darling, is the definitive list

so it supports the belief in women love as well as making you look

of clothes that look good on every body type. Don’t believe me?

more pure.

Well, fuck you.

Insert Provocative Title: Leotard + Skater Skirt

Chiller Than You: Loose Scoop Tee + Mid-Waist Denim Shorts

Insert sentence about how leotards don’t need to be tucked in,

If you’re feeling a little sensual, wear a transparent tee and

so they’re easy to wear. Insert sentence how skater skirts make

complete the look with a black lace bra. Optional extras include a

you look curvier. Insert sentence about how you will look good

delicate gold necklace and messy bed hair.

wearing this outfit. Insert sentence telling the reader they’re good

Babes Love Me: White Men’s Shirt + Opaque Black Tights

looking.

Do the buttons up to the top to pull this look into sexy secretary,

Nothing

rather than whorish intern. A short necklace looks great when

Confidence is sexy. Wearing absolutely nothing exudes confidence.

tucked under the collar, try a hardware-esque metal collar or

Not recommended for public wear unless prior approved by yours

necklace.

truly.

31

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

AUNTY SLUT

THE WEEKLY GRIND

WTF, If You’re Not DTF Then FU

The Foot Guy: Backseat of His Rental Pt.II

Aunty Slut

Resident Gay

Dear Aunty Slut, I met this girl during O-week and she was really dirty and DTF. But now she keeps texting me, and seems to think we’re going out. I mean, she’s

He looked a bit better than his Grindr profile suggested, but to be

fun and stuff, but there’s no way I’d want something serious from a girl

honest, it didn’t really matter how he looked at all. I was more concerned

like that. What do I do?

with how empty my funeral would be if I were to be raped and killed

Stage 10 Clinger Alert

in his basement.

We fumbled around with the schematics of getting my feet up to his

Dear Stage 10 Clinger Alert A girl ‘like that’? Don’t you mean a girl like you? See there’s this misnomer where boys think that they’re awesome for sleeping around, but that girls who do are ‘slutty’ or ‘not worth it’.

Aunty Slut calls bullshit. Tell me, what exactly is the difference between you and this girl? Is she not ‘girlfriend’ material because, like you, she’s

back seat. Here I made it clear that “from the ankles down, I’m yours!” to affirm that I wanted none of his honey.

Lifting my feet toward the driver’s seat, I reassured myself it would be ok and that I had stood in grosser things. He started by gently taking off my shoes, and I mean Michael-Jackson-with-your-nephew gently.

letting her hair down in her first year of uni and experimenting? Is she

Alas, things got not-so sexy as he went in for the sniff. I held back

not ‘girlfriend’ material because she’s a sexual being and doesn’t think

my laughter for the next couple of minutes; the smelling ritual’s end

there is anything wrong with that? Or is she not ‘girlfriend’ material

couldn’t come soon enough. Eventually he slipped off my socks and

because she’s out there sleeping with dudes who are way beneath her?

pulled his nose away. What followed was the best goddamn foot rub

Perhaps you’re not boyfriend material? So she’s trying to keep you on because you’re cheaper than buying batteries.

I’d ever been blessed with. Even more, I was doused with an array of compliments detailing how beautiful my feet are. I don’t think I’d ever been so appreciated in my adult life. I questioned the world as to why

Surely it is time for everyone to realise that just because someone likes

people don’t compliment me more often, but my thoughts were kindly

the sex, or has lots of the sex, doesn’t mean they are any less worthy

interrupted by a collection of soft kisses which began to land on my feet

of respect than anyone else. I know plenty of people, male and female,

– so soft and passionate and loving that my soul wept a thousand times.

who like sex, and have lots of it, who are great mums, dads, teachers, police officers, business people… you name it. Having lots of sex, regardless of your gender, is an ok thing. It’s a great thing! Stop trying to be the ‘big man’.

Things became French as his tongue came out to play between my toes. He sucked and he licked, as his lips gradually fell all the way down the arches of my soles. It tickled, but was also strangely pleasurable and made me kinda horny. I did my best efforts to hide my hard-on because

My point is: grow up Stage 10 Clinger Alert, and stop being a

damn son, it felt good; he knew what he was doing. 30 minutes later

disrespectful little child. Communicate with your partners like a grown

and he was satisfied.

up, or stop doing grown up things. If you’re keen on keeping things casual with this girl — tell her that. Don’t be all over her one minute and treating her like dirt the next just because you can’t use your words.

And ladies, the sooner you stop sleeping with fucktards like this, the faster we’ll change some shit around here. Go out and get laid by a real man — one who looks you in the eye when he compliments you. One who is actually interested in making sure you’re having a good time too.

One who knows that sex isn’t all about his cock, and his ego (and we all know which is bigger).

Much love, Aunty Slut

Send your sexy sex questions to auntyslut@nexusmag.co.nz

32

face without dislocating my spine. By popular vote, I ended up in the

N.02 / V.47

Without a gun to my head I offered to give him a foot-job, but the bastard grinned and declined. He was “good for now”, and thought that it might be a little awkward to perform in the car, as if this encounter was anything but awkward.

As a token of my gratitude, I gifted him my socks. He then gave me a fifty, we hugged it out, and I left the carpark a wealthier man.

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

HAMILTON GEMS

Hamilton Hipsters, Pay Attention

4. Hospice Shop This one’s not technically on Grey St, but it is just

Brittany Rose

3. Salvation Army Like the Hospice Shop, this store also ‘stocks’

behind Westpac in Clyde St Shopping Centre. You have to weave through old-smelling furniture to find something you like, but that’s what makes hitting the thrift shop jackpot so rewarding.

bric-a-brac, but the Grey st location is nicer. This op shop hosts a decent few racks of clothing, and if you sidestep the faded satin petticoats (or not - I don’t know your life) you can find some cool A review of 5 shops that are the same but different.

Whether its a student discount at the movies or a “5th coffee free”, everyone likes to get things cheap. Sadly though, when it comes to clothing, cheap is often secret code for shit.To be more specific: mass-manufactured shit that contributes large amounts of waste and destruction to our environment during manufacture,

stuff and support a charity at the same time.

2. The Red Cross Shop With a greater focus on clothing this op shop has mannequins in the window rather than a display of vases and suitcases (talking about you, Sally). It’s nearer the Macca’s end of Grey st and has a shelf that is always laden with random magazines that cost sixty cents.

distribution and disposal. But why do you care? You just want a

1. Recycle Boutique It seems a bit backwards to prioritise a chain

sweet new tee to wear with your denim shorts, you can’t afford to

of thrift stores over charity run op shops, but have you seen RB’s

be an ethical consumer! Well, yes you can with this week’s Hamilton

Instagram? Recycle Boutique have had amazing branches in

Gems.

Auckland and Wellington for aaaages, and in 2012 they graced

Hamilton East’s Grey St will offer you a shortcut to eco-responsible fabulosity on a budget: 5. Assisi Family Store A pokey little store painted green and purple, Assisi is always filled with grandma sweaters and dated two-pieces.

Upon consultation with Aunty Google, I discovered that Assisi refers

HamEast with their presence. You can go in and have a browse, pick up some damn cool, relatively cheap branded clothing OR you can take in your unwanted clothing and get them to sell it on your behalf. How great is that?

Tag us @nexusmag and show us your favourite #HamiltonGem.

to St Francis of Assisi, who’d of thunk it?

TRAVEL

Riding High in San Francycle

Alcatraz Island is another must do. After taking some very dodgy

Kate Leach

hip. All I will say though is, if you can avoid going at a peak time then

directions from our hostel, my friend Alice and I had to run and evade a tram fare to make it to the boat on time.

We were welcomed to the island by Ranger Wendy who was pretty do it because then you won’t have to fight for a vantage point when listening to the audio tour. I’ve also been told the night sessions are pretty epic if you can get on one of those instead.

Of all the American cities I’ve been to (that’s a grand total of 3 in

For shopping, I’d recommend hitting up Union Square, Powell St,

case you were wondering), San Francisco is definitely my favourite.

and Market St. There is a gigantic Macy’s on the edge of Union

Cooler than LA and less skody than NYC. San Francisco has plenty

Square that is wayyyyyyy better than the one in New York. It’s what

of cool stuff to keep you occupied!

I imagine heaven looks like. Fisherman’s Wharf also has a great

#1 on my list of things to do would definitely be biking across the Golden Gate Bridge. There are numerous cycle hire companies down at Fisherman’s Wharf but I’d recommend Blazing Saddles — they offer a half price hire deal if you stay in a hostel, which is wicked if you’re low on funds.

The ride is about 13km, taking you from Fisherman’s Wharf, across the bridge, to Sausalito. It takes about an hour and a half, but longer if you’re going at a leisurely pace and taking photos along the way.

You can either bike or take the ferry back from Sausalito. Aside from being fun to say, Sausalito is also a sweet little seaside town to visit and definitely worth sticking around for a nosey.

college sports shop if you want to deck yourself out in college apparel. I picked up Berkeley and Stanford stuff so I could at least pretend I was smart enough to get in there. Chinatown is also good for cheap postcard deals and some wicked sweet and sour pork.

Nom. Finally, San Francisco is also home to the world’s crookedest street, the Painted Ladies at Alamo Square (not actually ladies painted), and is the setting for many movie classics like The Princess Diaries and Mrs Doubtfire. But this is by no means an exhaustive list! The best way to find out what San Francisco has to offer is use those things attached to your hips and explore for yourself. Getting lost is half the fun!

33

NEXUS MAGAZINE CARE

CLUBS

ADVOCACY

Greens on Campus

Pigs, Always Pigs

What are your goals for this year?

In Film Noir and heist pictures they are called fixers. In action films

To get more students involved with Greens on Campus and the

they are called cleaners. In Greek tragedies they weren’t called

events and campaigns we run.

anything because had they been around things might not have

What kind of people are you looking for?

We’re looking for people who are interested in organising events and issues of social and environmental justice.

ended up so tragic. They are the people that come in and solve the problems of the protagonist. Blessed with an unparalleled knowledge of events and activities, a situational awareness second to none, a vision to achieve the best possible outcomes, and

What events do you organise?

occasionally knowing the best way to dissolve a body (it’s pigs, it’s

Last year we did things like a walk up to the windmills in Raglan. We

always pigs.) Here at the WSU we have got our own fixers, we just

want to keep Greens on Campus active and doing things and being

call them advocates.

fun, and we have drinks on campus once a month as well.

The word advocate might be a little dated too because it doesn’t

What kind of campaigns do you run?

actually sum up what they do. They are problem solvers but they

Last year we had the Keep our Assets campaign, and for the next

are also sounding boards. Advocates are sources for advice but

three years we have this two tier priority of inequality and climate

they can also be shoulders to cry on. At times they are your fiercest

change. Maybe we can start a campaign to institute paper recycling

supporters when you’re dealing with your landlord or the University

on campus, you can recycle glass and plastic here but not paper.

and at other times they are going to be the friend you need in your

Where can people find you?

You can find us by liking our Facebook page, Greens on Campus

life that tells you straight that you need to sort your shit out, but they probably won’t use that phrase.

Waikato. We’ll also have our first meeting on Wednesday 11 March

They also have some pretty big shoes to fill. In the last five years

during cultural hour.

the advocacy service has grown from strength to strength and now includes a food bank, a legal advice service run by Community Law

THE GREAT GREEN QUIZ NIGHT 12 March 7.30pm

Waikato and two advocates who can help you with grade reviews, budgeting, training and workshops, tenancy advice, talking to the University and pretty much anything else you require.

Priscilla Davies-Ngatai is a former VP-Maori with a massive amount of experience having served on council’s and academic boards as well as tutoring, and the ultimate advocacy training ground, motherhood. While Sarah is the newest advocate to join the team and brings with her an extensive legal background and an inability to stand up unaided on a slip and slide. Starting next week they will even write this column but in the meantime if you need advice email

After popular demand it’s back, and with Green MP Gareth Hughes as MC! There are hundreds of dollars worth of great prizes from Muscle and Ink tattoo studio, Keen, The Cook Café & Bar, Easy Tiger, Village organics and more. $2 for students/unwaged and $10 for waged workers.

Join a team on the night or come with a team of up to six.

We have limited spots so to guarantee your team’s table email Ingrid at ingrid.r.jones@gmail.com The Don Llewellyn Sports Pavilion (The Don), University of Waikato, Gate 3B, Silverdale Road Hosted by Greens on Campus in collaboration with the Kirikiriroa-Hamilton Greens Grateful thanks to our sponsors: Muscle and Ink | Keen | The Cook Café & Bar | Easy Tiger Village organics | and more to come...

36

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advocacy@wsu.org.nz or make an appointment either at the office in the SUB Building or via www.wsu.org.nz Just don’t ask them how to dispose of a body. It’s still pigs.

CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE

REPRESENTATION

EXPERIENCE

President’s Column: The Hangover Edition

Shit We Heard in the Van

Shannon Stewart

“The cops said I shouldn’t go to town” “Did you go to town?”

It’s Monday the 9th of March. The sun is in the sky and a gentle breeze is blowing. You look at your watch and realize that you

“I thought I did but apparently I just came home and somebody put me to bed”

have somehow managed to drag yourself out of bed to get to that 9am lecture by 10am, so you pull on your stained Waikato shirt and prepare to face the day. You slowly pry open your front door to be

“Bro I’m gunna get laid tonight and I don’t care who with.”

faced with a horrific site. No, this isn’t a scene from The Walking

He showed a girl his ID card and said “My names Peter Jackson.

Dead, it isn’t a replica of David Bain’s living room and it isn’t your

Want to come back to my place in Studville and make a movie?”

parents having sex. It’s worse. You are suddenly confronted with the week AFTER O-Week — commonly referred to as Oh-What-theFuck-Have-I-Done Week.

You make your way through campus, stumbling past swarms of

“Everyone on my floor is either black, has a mono brow or is down syndrome.”

“My names Fergus, but they call me Fergasism.”

sorry souls dragging their feet, shot-gunning 500ml cans of Lift

“I spent the whole of first year drunk and hungover. And I failed a

Plus, and trying to avoid eye contact with the mature student they

paper.”

hooked up with in the Outback who doesn’t quite look how they remembered now that it’s daylight. It’s a miracle you’re still standing.

Let’s be honest, you probably wouldn’t be if it weren’t for that those free breakfasts from Arise Church, the rides home from the WSU, or the bargirl at 101 who realized you REALLY didn’t need that next Back Draft. You cursed her at the time, but you’re thanking her now.

You’d love to grab a half-frozen pie from the Knighton Rd shops but

“I told you to never bite the sausage.”

“You can’t trust him bro, he’s from Rotorua.”

“Omg The Hoods closed. Aww. The Hoods close aww. I wanna go home now.”

“I just ate a raw sausage casing. Oh no, that was just my gum.”

your card declines due to all of your ‘course related costs’ the week earlier. You finally find your way to what you THINK is ECON100.

Wrong. Welcome to COMP102. You get that stare from the students that you only get when you interrupt a lecture — a look mixed with feelings of “what the hell are you doing” while simultaneously channelling Gandalf’s “run, you fool!”

But hey, O-Week is over and people will eventually forget that you were the girl/guy who spewed on the bus/in the lounge/on yourself or that you got x’ed from The Outback. Sadly they will also forget the legends who used their togas as a blanket, inflated an empty goonsack for a pillow or somehow managed to achieve the elusive 7-day-bender. Now it’s time to get some shit done and by that I mean do your readings, start that Case Analysis and give this student thing a go. We all know we are paying enough for it.

37

NEXUS MAGAZINE Cooking for Students

Snickers Icecream Zac Lyon

Method Get your beat on with that cream and vanilla. Whip it until it is nice and smooth, like a cloud in a bowl.

Separate the eggs yolks and whites. Keep the yolks, while whisking the egg whites until you have stiff peaks. Add the sugar and then re whisk until glossy and peaks form.

With O-week behind us, we also say goodbye to summer. I know,

Beat the egg yolks slightly (there is a lot of beating in this recipe,

let it all out, hug the person next to you (might want to ask first).

don’t get RSI in your wrist).

Indeed it is a sad time of the year, as the mornings reclaim the darkness, the fog will start to roll in. Actual fog, not the fogginess from the night before. We say good bye to shorts and singlets and

blended.

hello to jeans and cardigans. Goodbye to the gunshows and shorts

Fold in the egg mixture into the cream, add the chopped up snickers

that are too small and hello to panache and tight pants. So to say

and mix.

farewell to summer, here is a taste of what summer means to me…

Ice cream. Snickers ice cream to be precise. My wonderful girlfriend but me onto this recipe, and it bloody easy to make, even under the haze of the night before.

Ingredients

Spoon into an old ice cream container, freeze for 4 hours, then remix to redistribute the chocolate.

Freeze overnight and consume for breakfast, while wiping the tears away that summer is gone.

300 ml of cream

If you can’t follow these instructions, then I’d question why you

1 Tbs of Vanilla Essence

are at uni. But never-the-less, if for some reason you end up with

3 eggs

whipped cream all over your body (save that for a different yarn)

½ cup of sugar

and got stuck, head over to Cooking4Students on Youtube.

4 Snickers bars (chopped up)

38

Add egg yolks into egg whites and fold into one another until

N.02 / V.47

Peace.

Snapped NEXUS MAGAZINE

SNAPPED

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! he best snap each week (printed with the Burgerfuel logo on it), wins a voucher from our mates. Claim it from the Nexus office at SUB.

39

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU

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SLITHERLINK

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Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 – 26. Crack the code to solve it.

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MEDIUM

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CODEWORDS

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EASY

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Join the dots to create a single continuous loop. The 22 6

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numbers indicate how many lines must surround each number and the loop must never cross itself.

C D

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T U V W X Y Z

WORD TWIST

D W Z

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M

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How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

2

3

H I

13

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F

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Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

CROSSWORD

KAKURO

Solve the clues and fill in the words.

Fill all of the blank squares in the grid using only the

1

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numbers 1 – 9 so the numbers entered add up to the corresponding clue. You cannot use the same number

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more than once in a run (eg. 7, 1, 1).

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SIMPLE PUZZLES FOR SIMPLE PEOPLE Hey dumbass... it was a cat last week and some of you were too stupid to get it. So we drew a cow, copy the cow.

Copy the picture using the grid as a quide. You might find it Across

64. Gibson garnish (5)

(5)

1. Cutting remark (4)

65. Inside info (4)

27. Atlanta-based airline (5)

5. Russian country house (5)

66. Percussion instrument (4)

29. O. Henry’s “The Gift of

10. “Once ___ a time...” (4)

67. Aspect (5)

the ___” (4)

14. Length x width, for a

68. “___ bitten, twice shy” (4)

30. Ancient (4)

rectangle (4)

69. Washington, Grant, et.

31. Money of he Mideast (5)

15. At full speed (5)

al. (4)

33. Alternative to a

16. Church part (4)

70. Surrounds a picture (5)

convertible (5)

17. Close, as an envelope (4)

71. Dick Van ___ (4)

34. A deadly sin (5)

easier to copy one square at a time. Count carefully!

35. Let happen (5)

18. Liveliness (5) 19. Blah (4)

Down

37. Locale (4)

20. Freedom from control (12)

1. Pesto base (5)

38. Abound (4)

23. Cake part (5)

2. “Gladiator” setting (5)

40. Wages (8)

24. Legendary (7)

3. Primed (5)

44. Hammer part (4)

28. Bedouin (5)

4. Whalebone (6)

45. Losing proposition? (4)

32. San Diego baseballer (5)

5. Mr. Letterman (4)

49. Camera stand (6)

33. Mudbath locale (3)

6. “You got that right!” (4)

51. Speak derisively (5)

36. Authoritative (11)

7. Joker, e.g. (4)

52. Navigational aid (5)

39. Agatha contemporary (4)

8. Busy places (5)

54. Black (5)

41. Magical wish granter (5)

9. About (5)

55. Time piece (5)

42. Lion’s share (4)

10. Secret target? (8)

56. Home on the range (5)

43. Run down (11)

11. Duffer’s goal (3)

58. Isinglass (4)

46. Mad Hatter’s drink (3)

12. Eggs (3)

59. Limerick, e.g. (4)

47. Be wild about (5)

13. Colo. neighbor (3)

60. ___ meridiem (4)

48. Send, as payment (5)

21. Senior party (4)

61. ___ roll (3)

50. Fresh quality (7)

22. Manage somehow (4)

62. ___ v. Wade (3)

53. Construct (5)

25. Dostoyevsky novel, with

63. Setting for TV’s

57. Mismatched (12)

“The” (5)

“Newhart”Bill” (3)

61. “___ Brockovich” (4)

26. Demagnetize, as a tape

41

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· Aluminium frame

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$525

$139

$5.05 per week over 2 years

$1.34 per week over 2 years

Samsung 5.5Kg Top Load Washer · Compact fit for small spaces

Volta Bagged Vacuum

· Air turbo drying system for quick drying

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· Compact and powerful WA55H4000

· Variable speed

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U3407