Nexus 2016 Issue 13

N.13 / V.48

JULIE HARDAKER: OUT TO PASTURE PAGE 4

LEFT VS RIGHT PAGE 14

RE-O 2016 SCHEDULE PAGE 16

And our students are answering that call. Ten current and former Waikato students have made the New Zealand Olympic team and are gearing up for Rio. Eight rowers, one swimmer and a hockey player have qualified and there may be more added to the list soon.

Congratulations and good luck team! We’re backing you all the way.

Show your support and stay updated at betheinspiration.nz

Clarence Street 7am – 10pm, 7 days a week. Phone (07) 839-4056

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CONTENTS

CONTRIBUTORS

01.

EDITOR

EDITORIAL

Brittany Rose 02. LETTUCE

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

03.

UNI NEWS

DESIGN

04.

NEXUS NEWS

Olivia Paris

07. SPORTS

design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan

08. ENTERTAINMENT

lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry

10. REVIEWS

bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz

13. ARTS

MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

13. AUTEUR

james@nexusmag.co.nz

14.

LEFT VS RIGHT: WHY DOES YOUR POLITICAL IDEOLOGY

CONTRIBUTORS

BEST SERVE YOUNG NEW ZEALANDERS?

Grayson Maslin

16.

RE-O 2016 SCHEDULE

18.

GENERAL GRIEVOUS — IRRELEVANT CINEMATIC

Te Waiaranga Ratana

FOOTNOTE OR TOWERING POLITICAL PARALLEL?

Peter Dornauf

22.

YOUR SPACE

Jared Wooldridge Tom Collopy Freddy Walker

Dr. Richard Swainson Alexander Nebesky Vitamin D 26. COLUMNS

Mihir Roy Nima Riini

29.

PAK 'N SAVE HEAD CHEF ADVERTISING

30. SNAPPED

advertising@nexusmag.co.nz

31.

OFFICES

BLIND DATE

32. PUZZLES

Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine ISSUE 13 18 JULY 2016 POLITICS

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL SISTER SUFFRAGETTE BRITTANY ROSE

I remember watching Mary Poppins as a young girl and being drawn to Mrs Banks in the scene where she sings wearing her ‘Votes for Women’ sash. Mrs Banks’ character taught me that historically women were denied the right to vote, and as a kid I thought that was pretty unfair. I don’t know if it’s because of that, because Kate Sheppard’s on our $10 note, or because my estranged father (who I strive to be the antithesis of) spouted absurd conspiracy theories about Government intervention in his relationship with God, but I’ve always had this idea that if you have the right to vote you should use it. If you’re given the opportunity to be heard, you should use your voice.

Young people often get dismissed as politically apathetic, and, with an aging population, the vote of the older demographic does hold a lot of weight. It can feel like we don’t have a lot of influence. Just look at Brexit, where it was mostly older generations voting for a future in contrast with the younger generations’ desires. In light of this, I posed myself a question: do I really think that everyone should vote, no matter whether they have questionable opinions, or if they disagree with me?

A few months ago my brother said something that struck me as one part insightful, one part deliberately ignorant — “It’s worse for a misinformed voter to vote than it is to not vote.” Brexit voters googling “What is the EU?” proceeding their decision to vote to leave the EU illustrates this perfectly. But I’m still not convinced.

To put a positive spin on the “What is the EU” thing is to emphasise that everyone with an internet connection has the capacity to educate themselves. Obviously it is preferable if this happens prior to said voting, but hey, silver linings aren’t perfect.

There are SO many resources online. For a start, every political party has a Facebook page, and so do many MPs (I follow my favourites, plus Winston Peters because holy shit the comments section reads like satire, except it’s not); every party also has a website where they post press releases — you can read about their policies and take a peek at how they frame issues. Then there’s Hansard transcripts of parliamentary debates, or inthehouseNZ on YouTube for unedited videos of question time so you can see what happened without Patrick Gower’s commentary. This is all before mentioning news sources or the interviews that Nexus does with the politicians who reach out to us when visiting campus.

Maybe it would be preferable if not everyone voted, if Trump supporters and Brexit supporters didn’t vote. But that’s not democracy. The thing about democracy is it gives the general public, literally everybody who’s enrolled to vote (even the conspiracy theorists and anarchist pot dealers) the chance to tick a box and vote in line with what they think is important in society.

The last General Election was in September 2014, my second year at Uni, and I did what I could to educate myself. Mainly I did comprehensive quizzes that show you where your ideology, values and ideas about the world line up with the philosophy of parties. I educated myself about our major parties, figured out where they stood on the things I value and voted in line with what I believe is important to society.

Maybe you’d disagree with me.

Britt 1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

E C T U E T LT O T HE EDIT OR

FUCK OFF FOE #2 MAD TEACHER

One of my teaching papers has been moved to NET im honestly so pissed off!!! I have other words I want to say but I just wont!!! It should be taught in a classroom. It is a fricken compulsory paper!!!!

I frckn hate how they (uni) do this to us!!!!! And it's always just before the semester starts !!! I had an online paper last semester and hated it!!!! The same thing happened, the first week of semester we received an email saying and advising us that this paper would

Lettuce is the Letters to the Editor section of Nexus because If you say "letters" quick enough in a super Niu Zeelund accent it sounds like "lettuce".

be delivered online!!!! How can we make this not happen???? The lecturers are so USELESS THEY WOULD RATHER HIDE BEHIND A COMPUTER AND "teach" us that way!!!!! And they are teaching us to be teachers #hypocrites

Comment on our Facebook page, on our Instagram, or even Snap your lettuce to us. Just use #lettuce and we'll put you in print, and respond to your comments. Either that or email lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

This would be like us going into a new term in schools and telling the students their subject will be taught fully online!!! #sounprofessional #whydotheydothis

Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so

Welcome to the future: education via the internet – Editor

expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

RAIN DANCE MCCLOUD SISTERS

Can you fix the weather, the Uni needs to get good at cloud control.

FUCK OFF FOE

Did you know that Jupiter is not only a planet but the Roman

BAD TEACHER

God of Storms? – Editor

Faculty of Education are a joke, they’ve just changed a whole programme’s compulsory paper to an entirely online paper. Honestly this is really unacceptable. The least the could have done was given us ample warning not given us an email saying it's changed. Also, we are fourth year conjoint

MEXICAN I HAVE A TACO? HUNGRY HIPPO

students about to go into the workforce. You'd think they'd give us a little more respect/time.

We need Mexican food on campus, I'll even buy a taco from a kid You’re just conjoint students. There are the grad dip and masters programmes to prioritise, k – Editor

on a bicycle if there selling it for $3 or less. This needs to be a thing.

Where on a bicycle would a kid store tacos? Where would they keep their change? Why is this kid not in school? Don’t encourage truancy – Editor

SRS Q QUIG WITTED

Our VC is gaining a reputation for acting with speed, but Nexus has not

FUCK OFF FOE #3 SAD TEACHER

yet made any puns about "doing things Quigley." This should be remedied immediately. Kthx.

Faculty of Ed is a disaster. Fml as if we don't have enough shit to

I like to say I’m the worst editor ever because I find self-deprecation

worry about. Net papers are extreme asf. With shit tons of readings

amusing, but since you’ve pointed out this major hole in my capacity

and DEADLINES. I won't be able to cope if it's all intense.

for wordplay I think maybe I should just quit – Editor

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POLITICS

NET papers suck – Editor

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Jolene Skeen (pictured), Ben Edridge, Hemi Tauahika Witehira, Jamie Miller,

ONYA

GOING TO ASIA

Fiona Norton and Rhandal Meyerink have won Prime Minister’s Scholarships for Asia.

CANOE CHAMP Science student Elise Legarth has made the Canoe Racing New Zealand team to compete at the Junior World Kayaking

SCIENCE SCHOLARS

Championship in Belarus this month.

Science students Noel Bates and Krystal Geraghty (pictured) have each won a $5000 Energy Education scholarship.

BIG MONEY FOR BIG RESEARCH Master of Science student Rebecca Yeates won the NZ National Agricultural GUITAR HERO

Fieldays Sir Don Llewellyn Scholarship

Management student and Hillary Scholar Sam Franicevic won the

worth $22,000. She’s putting it towards

national Young Guitarist Award and got to travel to New York for

plant research.

the Tommy Emmanuel guitar camp.

Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

TOUR THE LIBRARY

WANTED: CLEVER PEOPLE

Get your sports fix every Wednesday and

If you want to know where the best places

If you’re keen on tech, business,

Thursday, 1pm-2pm, at UniRec’s free open-

to find resources are, join a library tour

government or anything in between, here’s

court sport sessions. There’s volleyball,

to learn the ins and outs of the Student

your chance to innovate and create with

table tennis and futsal on offer.

Centre. Tours run from 11am-2.15pm and

big data. Register for the annual GovHack

More info at facebook.com/UniRec

take 30 minutes.

event on 29-31 July, at the Innovation Station on campus. Open to students.

More info at govhack.org.nz

WANT TO STUDY IN GERMANY?

FREE CAREER ADVICE - ONLINE

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

Find out about study and research

Now you can get free career advice from

If you’ve got ideas on how to improve

opportunities in Germany at the DAAD

wherever you are.

the student experience at Waikato — we

info session Friday 29 July, 1-2pm in

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/careers to register

want to hear them. Email your suggestions

M.1.42, Level 1 of the Student Centre.

for an online workshop and find out what

through to suggestions@waikato.ac.nz

More info at daad.de/de

topics are covered.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

FREE SPORT SESSIONS

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS OUT TO PASTURE: THE RETIRING MAYOR OF OUR "BIG COW TOWN" INTERVIEW BY BRITTANY ROSE

Did you know that the official title for a Mayor named Julie Hardaker is Her

What’s next for you since you won’t be running for Mayor in the upcoming

Worship the Mayor Julie Hardaker? Brittany didn’t until she went to interview

local election?

her. Hardaker reflects positively on her two terms as Mayor — she’s pleased

I’ve done my two terms and I did say that I saw myself with two terms being

with the Council’s progress and direction, and is proud to call Hamilton home.

good. I’m returning to my legal career and I’m looking forward to that.

Although, when your ninth floor office view overlooks Garden Place, and stretches over green fields to mountain ranges, how could you not be proud?

Are you satisfied with your time as Mayor?

You’re a UoW graduate, as a student were you engaged with politics?

I’ve always been interested from the perspective of having a say, it’s a democracy.

Having a say, how do you do that? Well you vote, you have a say, and you can do

I think people are responding well to what we’ve done — I think people are feeling

jobs like mine — those are ways. And I suppose it’s the same at the uni you can

good about the council, the council functions well — I don’t get any enquiries

be on the student council.

about finances anymore, I used to get lots of communications about the budget.

People understand that we’ve got that sorted out, we’ve got a budget, we’re

If you time-travelled back to your student days, would your UoW classmates

performing really well financially, and that’s good for the public.

have believed you were Mayor in the future?

I’ve really enjoyed my time as Mayor. It’s a great job, it’s got some challenges

*Laughs* Look… probably not. I think they’d definitely have expected that I’d

definitely, but it is a fantastic way to influence your community and your home

focus on my law career and of course I have been — partner in a law firm and

and also to meet an amazing number of people who make this city tick. I’m

being really dedicated to my practice and of course going back to law. I’ve always

the wiser for having gone through all this, I’ve learnt a lot of things — it’s been

seen myself as a lawyer, but what I’ve really enjoyed about this job is that it has

fabulous. I’m very proud of Hamilton.

given me an opportunity to take six years to have a chance to have a say and influence where I live.

What did you not expect going into the role of Mayor?

It was more what did I understand the role to be. The interesting thing about this

To run for Mayor, do you think you have to be from Hamilton?

job is that you can make it what you want it to be — there’s no set hours of work

I think yes, I think that really helps. Because when you live here and you’ve lived

and the public are your boss. Some mayors might do things differently to me. I

here for a while you have the understanding of how our community works. You

work very hard, long hours and do lots of community stuff but other people in

know the things that people really like about the city and you know the things

this role might choose to do it differently. You can make it your own.

that people want addressed, and I think you only know that if you’ve lived here for a while. I think that is a valuable asset, it’s your community. You don’t have

So there’s a vast amount of autonomy?

that loyalty and passion I don’t think unless you’re part of it, you’ve got a sense

Yeah, well, autonomy in the sense of choosing how you might do the role, but

of loyalty to your home.

autonomy… I wouldn’t describe it as autonomous because, of course, you’re

I’ve lived in Hamilton since 1990 and all my family had farms around here — I

working in a council, you are not the decision maker, the council is the decision

come from a farming background. My parents farm, my family all farmed around

maker and there’s a huge amount of legislation that you must operate within. So

Te Awamutu. I think pretty much everyone of my generation grew up on farm

autonomy wouldn’t be the right word.

*laughs* — not today. My generation, everyone had a connection with the land,

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News NEXUS MAGAZINE

but today that’s vastly different, particularly in the Waikato which is a big farming

it keeps us young and youthful, and that’s very important, although I acknowledge

and agricultural area. Contrasting that is the fact that Hamilton today is not that,

that a lot of older students go to uni and Wintec, we have a big tertiary sector

in it’s past Hamilton was a major farming town, but now it’s a major New Zealand

here in the city and we have a lot of students who come and we have a lot of

city and it can stand alone in its own identity in its own economy aside from

international students. As a student city that aspect of our economy and our

the rural economy, so that’s an important change that’s happened to Hamilton

community is very important so we do focus a lot on that. You know the things

over the last decade and definitely during my time as Mayor. Our economy is so

that are important are the transport connections because students have gotta

diverse now in our city.

get around easily, cycleways are really important for younger people, we want that to work. The bus routes, and how the buses work — although our council

Well, there seems to be an emphasis on developing the city, developing

doesn’t run the buses, the regional council does, we have a lot of input into that

the CBD — in what ways does that illustrates how there is that shift from

and we wanna make that work well. Students like recreational stuff — they like to

Hamilton being a rural centre?

know that there’s stuff on that they can do in their down time. Students have a

Big cities need to have a strong city centre, and our CBD is as a result of being a big

big impact on our drinking culture and some of those issues that arise out of that,

rural town where you just have one long main street where everything came off it,

so we work closely with the University, the police, our safety people our medical

but as we’ve grown and evolved that's changed. One of the things we did when

people about how we manage that and make that work better. The University is

we developed our transformation plan which took a couple of years to develop is

a big part of our city.

a lot of research — we looked all around the world at similar sorts of cities as ours,

Then there’s the spin offs — jobs, we want to keep a lot of our students, we want

looking at how they’d managed to reinvent themselves and what a central city

them to stay here and make Hamilton their home, we want them to be contributing

needed to look like. That plan is a very good plan and I’m confident that over the

to the growth of the city and live here, so we want to make sure there are jobs

next decade that will make a big difference to Hamilton. Central cities are different

that are attractive to them. We’ve got some of the best schools in the country

now, they’re not the way they used to be when we were just a big cow town.

— we want teachers to stay here and get a job here because we do have good schools here, we do have a youthful population; we have science and engineering

Is it valuable for a student to vote in the Hamilton local election where it

opportunities, a lot of science here; we do have a large IT sector, maths and

is likely they will be based for the three year duration of their degree, or

computing is big at the University. So I think there are a lot of opportunities for

should students based outside of Waikato vote in the local elections for

students here and our job as a council is to make sure we create the platform for

their home town? Does it matter?

those things to happen we enable.

That question does come up a lot. I guess it depends on the individual’s view of how much Hamilton is a part of their way of life and what they’re doing in the

Do you believe the council is as involved with students as it is in, say, Otago?

city. More and more students have jobs as they’re going through uni and more

Look, I think there’s always room to do more. We certainly have a lot of engagement

and more students are looking to their employment options in that community,

with the University and a lot of involvement with the University. The new Vice-

right, so I guess if you take those things into account then you do want to have

Chancellor is certainly very focused on bringing a closer relationship between the

an influence over how it’s going to be.

city and the University with the University having opened up an office here in the

As a student today, you’re interested in transport connections, you’re interested

CBD so we do have a lot to do with each other.

in housing, because these make your lives easier as a student. Rubbish collection,

At the student level I think there probably is room for us to do better. We’re very

because we have big issues about students and rubbish, cycleways, recreational

interested in what young people have to say and what their views are, we’re

activities. If students feel that those things are really important important to the

creating a city — much of which will not be realised until the like of you are my

way they function as a student I think they do need to think about those things

age. Because the decisions we make today sometimes have got a thirty or forty

because when you go back home — you may not go home, because of your job. You

year horizon. I think we could do better — we have a youth council as part of our

might keep your flat and do your job over the holidays, in my day we all just went

advisory groups and that’s one way for students to be involved, and there are

home. If those things really matter to you, and you’re wanting to have an influence

university students on there. But I guess that’s a take out of this interview, that

over those then the only way you can do that is if you vote in your local community.

maybe the student council can come to the new council when they’re elected after October and say “What is a role that we can play? How can we join up a few dots?

So there are a lot of things the council is doing to support students?

Should we have a quarterly meeting? Should we run an information day and have

I think there are, the student part of our city is very important, for lots of reasons,

a bit of a brain dump on those sorts of things.” I hope that happens.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS WHAT YOU MISSED WHILE YOU WERE PISSED GRAYSON MASLIN & JARED WOOLDRIDGE

No Nexus since mid-June? Bad news. A quick recap of the stuff that happened while you were listening to customers blather before heading home to drink more Scrumpy than your bladder could possibly handle? Not technically news, but it’s close enough for the first issue of semester.

GOTTA GET A LIFE

BREXIT

Since Pokemon Go was released a week ago it has dominated headlines and

June 23rd, after months of debate Brexit decides to exitain the European Union

the hype has well and truly been felt in Hamilton. Pokemon Go, an augmented

by a 52-48 vote. Powered by fear of immigrants straining the system, sending an

reality app encourages users to go out and hunt for Pokemon and attempt to

imaginary amount of money to the EU each week, many are now suffering buyer's

catch them.

remorse over their decision. David Cameron, the Prime Minister, resigned after

The app has lead to many injuries as some users have walked into inanimate

the vote, while the markets tumbled and the pound dropped to an historic low.

objects while trying to hunt for Pokemon. Some users have even gone as far as

The two leading proponents of leaving the EU then came out and said maybe

accidently walking into Hells Angels’ territory or renting kayaks to battle gyms in

they had exaggerated the money Britain would now enjoy, and it was unlikely

Wellington harbour. It’s a change of pace for Hamilton because the phrase “gotta

immigration would stop anytime soon, while hate crimes saw a meteoric rise. The

catch ‘em all” used to just refer to STI’s at a Bar 101 Foam Party.

most googled item in Britain after the vote queried what the EU actually was, while Scotland wants to break-up with England and stick with Europe. Who would have

SOMETHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN NORTHLAND

imagined an ill-advised decision by the British would adversely affect anyone?

On the 14th of June Northland Police made the largest seizure of methamphetamine in New Zealand history and aren’t ruling out the possibility

BODY PARTS AND SUPER-BACTERIA

an international drug ring is at work. Three men, aged 19, 26 and 31 were arrested

It’s 2016, so now it’s time again for everyone’s favourite international sports event

and charged with possession of methamphetamine for supply and importing

they either go mad about, or ignore entirely. I prefer the latter, but that does

methamphetamine.

not make the news coming out of Rio ahead of the games any less interesting;

Police seized 448kg’s of P, worth nearly $500 million, from the back of a campervan.

The discovery was made after members of the public got scared that a good time might be happening on the beach and reported suspicious vehicles in the area and witnessed people trying to launch boats off the Far North’s west coast.

Mr. Le Prou confirmed the drugs were found in the campervan and appeared to have been imported into New Zealand, but could not confirm where the meth had come from.

the jaguar mascot being shot, athletes being mugged in broad daylight, and, of course, the ever-present fears of the Zika virus. None of which are good signs, but the continuing reports keep on getting worse.

Body parts have recently been discovered washing up on Copacabana beach, right in the place where the Olympic beach volleyball arena will be. Two parts were found, a dismembered foot and another still as-yet unidentified piece.

Further bad news from the beaches comes in the form of drug-resistant super bacteria that has been found around waterways in Rio, including some that will

When Police stopped one of the suspicious vehicles Mr Le Prou said it “lead

host events. The Olympics starts in less than a month, and it is doubtful they

to some pretty cool stuff”, such as actual police work and not just hunting for

can find another host-city in time, so if you’re travelling to Rio remember your

restricted drivers.

Lemsip. And your body parts.

EIGHT YEAR OLD BOY GETS A FACE FULL OF BOX

BLACK LIVES MATTER

On Monday 11th of July an 8-year-old boy got his head stuck in donation box at

Following the police shootings of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile on the 5th

Foxton New World.

and 6th of July, and the sniper killings of five police officers in Dallas, the United

The boy apparently “just put his head in for a look” in the Salvation Army food donation box at Foxton New World, proving to his caregivers that he will never be a genius.

States has been trapped in a debate around the Black Lives Matter movement.

The movement, which pushes for criminal justice reform and protests the disproportionate death of black Americans due to police action, has since been called a dangerous and racist organisation for seemingly suggesting that only

By chance an off-duty fireman from Foxton Beach fire station was at New World and helped the boy out of the box. When fire services arrived at around 7.30pm the 8-year-old did not appear to be distressed.

Black Lives Matter.

While all the deaths involved are tragic, the idea that BLM is saying that not all lives matter is a childish one that avoids the issues. Some, many on the right,

Clement has been with the fire brigade for more than 30 years and this is not the

are calling out BLM for protesting police and not combating gang violence,

first case he’s seen of a child stuck in an unusual places. Foodstuffs is working

even though a) they have been working very hard to combat violence in the

with the box’s owners to ensure the box is now idiot proof.

community, and b) ordinary citizens do not take the oath to serve and protect

The boy’s grandmother was “just happy he was out” but hopes that if he were to do it again he would do not for curiosity but for the Vine.

that the police do. Minorities are disproportionately affected by police killings and the justice system, and discussion and reform of a broken system should not be avoided merely because black people don’t want to be killed by those who swore to protect them.

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SPORTS OPINION MCGREGOR VS ALDO 2 TOM COLLOPY

UFC 200 was just a short week ago and although it lost its main event earlier in the week due to a failed drugs test from Jon Jones, Dana White and the UFC did a fantastic job in making sure the event would still be a great success. An outcome of a fight on the card which got me excited for the future was Jose Aldo’s unanimous decision victory over Frankie Edgar.

The two had previously met at UFC 156 where Jose defended his title with a unanimous decision victory. This time the fight was for the interim featherweight title which meant the winner would earn a fight against Conor McGregor for the UFC featherweight title. Jose was coming off a 13 second loss to Conor at UFC 194 where he lost the title he’d successfully defended nine times previously, in a fight where he let his emotions get the better of him. Frankie on the other hand was on a five fight win streak and was coming in full of confidence.

Looking at the statistics the fight looked quite even with significant strikes and total strikes landed being very similar. However this was not the case, Jose managed the distance well and his timing was impeccable. He landed more damaging strikes at a higher percentage and managed to slip a lot of Frankie’s combinations which began to frustrate him toward the end of the fight.

SPORTS OPINION EURO 2016 – NOT JUST DIVING AND HOLLYWOODS FREDDY WALKER

Euro 2016 was the year of the underdog. Just like Greece in 2004, the lesser-fancied team has more often than not come out on top. Although no underdog team managed to go the distance and win, Euro 2016 will be most remembered for a few teams punching well above their weight and not the theatricals usually associated with football.

In terms of the best underdog story, look no further than Iceland.

A team in their first tournament, with a population of 330 odd thousand, taking on the likes of Portugal and England and coming up trumps. France proved a hurdle too far for the plucky Icelandic footballers, but they certainly warmed the hearts throughout. A personal favourite was the war cry produced after beating the Poms 2-1.

Another team which did the business was Wales. Yet another team in their debut tournament, the Welsh dreamed their way to a semi-final, which they lost heartbreakingly to Portugal.

While they did have a better team on paper than the Iceland side making their story a little less underdog-like, it is extremely

A strike in particular which Jose was able to slip many times during the fight was

difficult for a team in their first major tournament to do what

Frankie’s right cross. This isn’t to say Frankie didn’t land anything, he did manage to

they did. They were awesome to watch.

catch Jose several times during the fight, though the strikes were not as effective.

Apart from those two major standouts, there were a few other

So what does this mean? Well it means that McGregor vs Aldo 2 is definitely

teams who certainly represented their nations well. Hungary

going to happen. Conor fights Nate Diaz on August 20th at UFC 202 where he will

managed to top their pool which was a fantastic achievement

fight at 170 pounds. After that a date will be set for Conor to face Jose as his first

before lucking out in the round of 16. The Republic of Ireland

title defence at 145 pounds. Seeing the way Aldo fought at UFC 200 makes the

made the last 16 in dramatic fashion and wore their hearts on

matchup look mouth-watering and I cannot wait for it to be given a date. Conor

their sleeve. Even their smaller neighbours Northern Ireland

will be dropping 25 pounds for the fight and there is a possibility that he’d be

made an appearance in the last 16.

coming into the fight on a two fight losing streak.

It was teams like these that made Euro 2016 entertaining. Forget

I also briefly want to touch on the Women’s Bantamweight Division. With Amanda

the diving, forget the screaming for fouls like a man has just had

Nunes’ victory over Miesha Tate at UFC 200 the division has its third new champion

his leg broken, watching a team whose manager is a part-time

in as many fights which has blown the division wide open. With Ronda Rousey’s

dentist beat a team whose manager earns 4.6 million pounds a

return imminent and Holly Holm looking to get back her loss against Miesha, is

year is always entertaining. In a country with the population of

there a possibility we could see a card with Miesha vs Holly and Ronda vs Amanda.

New Zealand, we all can appreciate an underdog story and Euro

What a card that would be!

2016 was full of them.

7

NEXUS MAGAZINE Entertainment

BEST OF THE WEB ANIMALS WITH GREAT INSTAGRAMS SMOOTHIE THE CAT @SMOOTHIETHECAT Smoothie is probably the most photogenic cat you have ever seen in your entire life. She has nearly half a million Instagram followers to prove she is better looking than you can ever hope to be. I’ve probably never been so envious of a cat as I am of Smoothie and those beautiful green eyes.

TRENDING ON TWITTER #IFSELFIESNEVEREXISTED Oscar Zoltano @OscarZoltano · Jul 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted the Kardashians would have to learn to read or something.

268

Ashlesh Bhati @ashlesh_bhati · July 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted Then people would be enjoying the moments in real life not capturing it on their smartphones 8

GEORDI LA CORGI @LACORGI A corgi cooler than the Queen’s. Geordi is probably the only living thing that can pull off a fedora and look fedorable. He wears t-shirts and models for cute as shit calendar worthy photoshoots. A dog so full of happiness you can’t help but smile as you scroll through.

COBY THE CAT @COBYTHECAT Coby is the real life Duchess from Aristocats. Coby just looks like the type of cat that only eats Fancy Feast and judges you for wearing track pants two nights in a row.

Coby’s human has great photography skills that only enhance Coby’s snuggle factor.

BIDDY @BIDDYTHEHEDGEHOG A travelling hedgehog with a passion for adventure. I can honestly say I’ve never wanted to live vicariously through a hedgehog until now. Biddy has great merchandise, fanart and a calendar that you can impulse buy one night when you are really drunk and then forget

474

Shellie @dirtroaddiva1 · July 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted the selfie stick would just be a stick. Who wants a stick? A dog? Don't be a dog, take a selfie.

29

61

NotJoeNamath @LandOfTheLoft · July 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted a photo of yourself would still be called a self-portrait, and language wouldn't have to cry itself to sleep.

49

154

Portmanteau Jones @SadlyCatless · July 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted this tag would have never existed but it does so now I'm having an existential crisis.

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67

Flint Snow @freedom2offend · Jul 12 #IfSelfiesNeverExisted How would people know what I look like?

8

23

you bought until it arrives.

PLEASE DON’T QUOTE ME

“If people are gross enough to send dick pics, at least have the courage to use a face-swapping app” RYAN REYNOLDS PROVES TIME AND TIME AGAIN HE IS #HUSBANDGOALS

“About to go truffle hunting and if this guy knows anything about my level of pettiness he better start burying ones he bought right now” N.13 / V.48

1. Free shit 2. Dollar Store whisk head massagers 3. Catching rare Pokemon

WHAT’S NOT 1. Getting hit by cars because you’re trying to catch rare Pokemon 2. 9am lectures 3. Re-O Week hangovers

CHRISSY TEIGEN LIVES AN AVERAGE LIFE 8

WHAT’S HOT

POLITICS

89.8 FLETCH, VAUGHAN & MEGAN WEEKDAYS 6 -10AM

ZMONLINE.COM

NEXUS MAGAZINE

TV SHOW WESTSIDE BRITTANY ROSE

Outrageous Fortune’s prequel, Westside, is in its second season and does no justice to the success of OF despite riffing on the Rita as villain sentiment from the series. The premise is that we’ve travelled back in time to before Ted went loopy and moved into the backyard caravan, and before Wolf had met Cheryl. The comedy falls flat — whether it’s the timing or the trite attempts at dramatic irony teamed with nostalgia, I’m not sure, but I am certain that it’s decidedly unfunny.

MUSIC EVERY ORCHID OFFERING

BY ANDREW KEOGHAN LYAM BUCHANAN

Love stories are generally great plot devices, but Ted’s relationship with the infamous Rita is boring and unconvincing. Not one of the relationships has anything special to it, and the Ngaire-fucks-a-cop storyline which parallels Cheryl and Judd’s forbidden love is bland and predictable.

In this second season the show is trying to be clever. They’re trying very hard, but the emphasis should be on the ‘trying’ because they’re definitely not succeeding.

New Zealand doesn’t have the best track record with singer-

Each episode centres around an event loaded with ~social commentary~, but

songwriters. We've got artists such as Jamie McDell for the

it’s transparent, and clumsy. The episode where there’s a rapist in the park is

audibly challenged and Tiki Taane to fill in sets at any winery

intolerable and dealt with in heavy handed cliche; and the Springbok tour/anti-

tour he can sneak into. Luckily we also have Andrew Keoghan. In

apartheid protest episode had me rolling my eyeballs so far back in their sockets

2011 he was making his mark with his album Arctic Tales Divide

that my irises disappeared forever.

which put him as a finalist for the Taite Prize and winner of the New Zealand Herald’s local album of the year. After a long five years he’s back to quench the thirst of the critics with his new album Every Orchid Offering.

Now that it’s set in the 80’s, the only positive about the show is the costuming (I love 80’s fashion), but even where Westside succeeds it pales in comparison to OF where it really worked to build character, most especially to highlight the differences between Van and Jethro (both played by Antony Starr), and the

‘Stuck in Melodies’ is one of Keoghan’s new tracks which

development of Loretta. In Westside costume reads as a contrived — it’s actively

has already made it’s way to YouTube. This takes the idea of

styled and looks like it’s been pulled from a magazine spread rather than a

conversation within a song, which Gotye made his name with in

human’s wardrobe.

2011, and feeds off the detachment you create when portraying communication in music. Andrew takes this idea and creates

I am still gonna hate-watch it because I have a total crush on Antonia Prebble.

something so soft and reserved, it’s not only the vocals which show this but every element of the instruments carry the same reserved sound.

The music video is the perfect accompaniment, it shows a pastel paradise with heavily disconnected interactions. The way Andrew and his feature artist Claire are shown as vacant shells sits perfectly with the theme of this piece

FILM BLUE VALENTINE TE WAIARANGA RATANA

‘Queues At Dani Keys’ is another track which has been released prior to the full album. This takes a completely different direction

A look at modern romance, not sugar coated and definitely heart wrenching. Blue

to ‘Stuck in Melodies’ but continues to show how he doesn’t

Valentine wants you to look at the way we see relationships, and it succeeds. Ryan

simply sit within the singer-songwriter genre. I was never a heavy

Gosling and Michelle Williams play Dean and Cindy, two vulnerable people who find

Bowie listener but to me this piece seems like he’s reimagined

themselves in love with each other. This isn’t the only story being told though, in true

Bowie's sound from 1977 and made it his own. I absolutely love

non-linear fashion we cut back and forth from this story and the story of the Dean

the videography, he has the same abstract vibe as the previously

and Cindy falling out of love in the future. This structure works on so many levels,

mentioned track but the retro pop design and the overall style

and lets questions be answered as we go, giving insight to post rom com ideas.

is incredibly fitting.

The script is solid, and the characters of Dean and Cindy are memorable, with

This album was meticulously crafted during two months of

their interactions being genuine and natural. With that said, it can be a little too

isolation in Piha. It has been described as “a series of personal

real (which is not a bad thing), but it can make for an uncomfortable watch. If

vignettes about transience, sexuality, conceived gender roles,

not for the directing and strong performances from the the two leads (especially

commitment, lust and modern reincarnation”. If this is the sound

Williams), this movie easily could’ve just been another lame romantic drama. But

you’ve been looking for then keep an ear out for the official

these elements, combined with the structure of the story telling and the different

release of ‘Every Orchid Offering’ on the 29th of July.

and interesting soundtrack make Blue Valentine one to remember.

10

N.13 / V.48

POLITICS

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

PLAYLIST SONGS THAT GET DRUNK WHITE GIRLS EXCITED BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Don’t roll your eyes and be mislead by the incredibly specific title, this playlist has something for everyone — and I unironically love it. I actually found this playlist while wasted one night with my friends, desperately searching Spotify for a playlist that had more than three good songs on it so we could play beer pong and dance without having to stop and pick songs every few minutes.

In a stroke of creative genius I searched “drunk throwbacks”. I have never looked back. It plays at every girls night, road trip, pre-game, and pre-pre-game makeup and hair session that I attend with my friends. Every time we press play it results in lots of screaming and “Oh shit this song is my jaaaaaam!” (I’m a Woo! Girl, sue me.)

It gets updated constantly so you’re never sick of the Top 40 hits that circulate through and the attention to detail is great– sometimes we’ll hit shuffle and it’ll play a song we never knew we needed back in our lives. (Cascada’s ‘Everytime We Touch’, anyone?)

Sure, it’s not a musical revelation, and I’ve lost every ounce of credibility I once had

FOOD THE EATERY TOM COLLOPY

by vouching for this playlist, but I can truly say it is the ultimate guilty pleasure playlist. Everyone I have introduced to this playlist has loved it. From classic pop anthems and one hit wonders like ‘Call Me Maybe’ and ‘Hips Don’t Lie’ to major throwbacks and tunes that get you in the mood to dance on some tables in the club, such as ‘Smack Dat’ and the remix to Ignition (hot and fresh out the kitchen).

The Eatery is an Italian restaurant situated in the heart of Rototuna. The occasion was a special one, mine and my

This playlist isn’t just a staple for the inebriated, self-confessed basic bitch, it is a must for anyone who is a fan of a good #throwback. Okay, I’ll stop now.

girlfriend two year anniversary and things did not get off to a good start. I think we would have had a better chance finding this place with Jack Sparrow’s compass than with Google carpark three times we found our destination.

PLAYLIST WHITE NOISE

We were greeted warmly by the front of house staff who

LYAM BUCHANAN

Maps but nevertheless after circling the business complex’s

showed us to our table immediately. The restaurant itself was very modern and inviting with a simple colour theme, and stacks of cut wood tower around you awaiting the open fire.

My heart is whole once more, I’ve found my calling, and it's on Spotify.

The menu was classic Italian with a choice of pizzas, pastas

Until this day I never knew the simplistic, yet mind numbingly painful, beauty of

and a main for each meat. To my disappointment we were

listening to over 20 hours of TV static. Why would I ever taint my eardrums with

told that the pizza oven was not operational that night but

the sinful frequencies produced by humans?

that wasn’t going to stop me ordering pizza, my girlfriend ordered a chicken, pesto and parmesan pasta and we ordered a side order of chips which is a staple in our relationship.

It’s as if I’ve discovered a new religion, an elite cult of people who have transcended beyond the glory of being a sociopath or vegan and become something much more. If you're looking to be enlightened, the best way is to jump straight in the

The food was delivered in a timely manner and everything

deep end with the timeless ‘5 Hz Theta Wave And Pink Noise For Deep Sleep’

was delicious. I was that annoying customer who asks for a

by Rest Easy Binaural Beats, personally I would never listen to the combination

doggy bag because my eyes were too big for my stomach,

of Theta Waves and Pink Noise but it’s definitely a good place to start your

but my request was met with a pleasant smile.

pilgrimage of aural cleansing.

All in all we had a really good night at The Eatery. For students

After two weeks of strenuous listening you’re nearly ready to join the elite. By this

it’s not the most affordable dinner option but if you’re out

point you won’t have heard any sound other than the pure frequencies of white

Rototuna way and you’ve got a special occasion coming up

noise long enough to forget how to orally communicate. It’s ok, all you need is the

or are feeling like Italian after a good week on the punt then

voice in your head. ‘Pure Pink Noise — For One Hour With One Minute Fade Out’

I’d definitely recommend The Eatery.

by White Noise Research is the last step in your processes of transcendence. Binge listen this religious experience for a minimum for 72 hours without sleeping, I’ll see you on the other side.

11

ZONE SPORTS BAR, LEVEL 2, SKYCITY HAMILTON, 346 VICTORIA STREET. www.facebook.com/ZoneSKYCITYHAMILTON Zone Sports Bar is a supervised area. Offers are subject to availability and not available in conjunction with any other offer. R18 for the service of alcohol. Host Responsibility limits apply. Promotion runs every Tuesday until further notice. *Entry details and full terms and conditions are available on-site. R18 to enter.

AUNTY SLUT IS BACK. AND SHE’S JUDGING OUR EROTICA CREATIVE WRITING COMPETITION. erotica@nexusmag.co.nz for more info

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

ARTS ‘BIRD BRAIN’, CALDER AND LAWSON GALLERY

As soon as I clapped eyes on the works of Shaun Tan, I

as an outsider whose sense of belonging in an ‘alien’

immediately thought of New Zealander, Graham Percy,

culture was problematic.

PETER DORNAUF

Shaun Tan, (Australian with Chinese/British heritage) is

That the plants originate from various locations in Australia

exhibiting his work in a group show that is currently running

— the East Coast, Sydney and the Central Desert — suggests

on campus at the Calder and Lawson Gallery. The exhibition,

she is after something universal in her symbolic notations

called, Bird Brain, is not about the notion of idiocy but rather

in an attempt to bridge the gap that the dislocation of

to do with the idea of feeling dislocated The by-line to the

different places can throw up.

title is in fact “dislocation is a place”.

Stuart Bridson’s sculptural concoctions are an amalgam of

Curator of the show, Sybille Schlumbom would know about

incongruent elements and mundane recycled materials. His

children’s illustrator extraordinaire. Tan has that same old world feel to his work that Percy exemplified, something that looks like it has come out of the 1940’s with its patina of browns and other muted sepia-like tones.

such displacement, being herself a German émigré who has lived and worked in New Zealand for a number of years.

The spectre of alienation hovers over the prints on paper by

AUTEUR 100 YEARS OF OLIVIA DE HAVILLAND RICHARD SWAINSON

Carole Driver’s work starts with plant forms which she has reduced to near abstract pictorial ciphers, painted in simple black linear configurations on small square canvases which have then been composed to resemble the periodic table.

attempt to fuse such contradictory things into an aesthetic whole produces an unrealised tension that serves as a metaphor for artificial cohesion.

Tan in a gentle, sometimes comic and surreal way. Things

Swedish born Sylvia Sinel, who settled in Hamilton a few

are literally dislocated. A road suddenly stops and drops

years ago, works in ceramics. Like Bridson, she plays with

down like a sheer cliff-face, on the edge of which children

the concept of juxtaposition where seemingly unrelated

sit as if on the side of some ocean going steamer. It looks

forms are deliberately thrust together to create strange,

both natural and unnatural, contradictions cancelling each

surreal images, mantle-piece objet d’art that disrupt and

other out. Such themes spring from Tan’s own experience

dislocate but also cohere.

On July 1st Olivia de Havilland turned 100. She joined

The practice of repeatedly co-starring performers is one was

a rarefied group, Oscar winning centenarian stars of

then commonplace in Hollywood. All but the elite stars were

Hollywood's Golden Age. The others are Louise Rainer, like

contracted employees of studios. If a particular male/female

de Havilland a double Best Actress winner, who lived to be

pairing met with box office approval it was repeated over and

104; George Burns (100) and Bob Hope (100). Hope never

over again. Famously, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers made

won a competitive Oscar but was given five honorary awards.

nine films together for RKO in the 1930s and were re-teamed

Also of note in the longevity stakes are Oscar winning

once more a decade later. William Powell and Myrna Loy

composer Irving Berlin (101) and Gloria Stewart (100), who

co-starred in Manhattan Melodrama (1934) and were paired

lived to be the age of the character she was nominated for

together a final time in The Senator was Indiscreet (1947).

playing in Titanic. The record holder for nominees though

In between they made a further 12 pictures, including the

is the incredible George Abbott, a legend of Broadway,

masterpieces The Thin Man (1934) and Libelled Lady (1936).

who dabbled in the movies. Abbott was nominated for cowriting the screenplay of the great All Quiet on the Western Front (1930). He died 65 years later, at the age of 107.

Powell & Loy and Astaire & Rogers are amongst the screen couples best remembered today but they were by no means the most prolific. For that statistic you need to go back

The first phase of Olivia de Havilland's career was dominated

to the silent era. Between 1915 and 1923 Charles Chaplin

by films in which she co-starred with Errol Flynn. The best

had no leading lady other than Edna Purviance. In total

known of these are the swashbuckling classics Captain Blood

they made 36 shorts together. Chaplin also had a cameo

(1935) and The Adventures of Robin Hood (1938) and the

in A Women of Paris (1923), the feature film he wrote and

western They Died With Their Boots On (1941). Altogether

directed for Purviance and she had bit parts in at least two

Flynn and de Havilland made eight films together.

of his later sound films.

13

LEFT VS RIGHT: WHY DOES YOUR POLITICAL IDEOLOGY BEST SERVE YOUNG NEW ZEALANDERS? When we say “left vs right” we’re deliberately framing political perspectives as existing on a continuum with Labour to the left, and National to the right. Both major parties hover pretty near the centre and are flanked by the Greens (further left) and Act (further right). This juxtaposition of left and right is primarily characterised by the values that inform the answer to three key questions: “What is society?”, “How should society be?”, and “What role does Government have in society?”

Ideological perspectives differ between individuals — and politicians — in any given society. Attitudes and values manifest in policy and tend to revolve around a core difference — acceptance (left) or dismissal (right) of State involvement in the lives of individuals.

Opposite our left and right writers explore ideas of collectivism vs individualism, ‘nanny state’ vs personal responsibility, equality of outcome vs equality of opportunity, and state owned assets vs free market capitalism when trying to convince you that their political ideology is the best fit for young New Zealanders.

If you disagree, let us know! lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

LEFT AUNTY HELEN

RIGHT MAGGIE THATCHER

Ideology characteristic of the left canvases a broad range of perspectives

Political parties driven by centre-right wing ideologies best serve students.

and values diversity. The left takes pride in ensuring change benefits as many

The application of traditional liberalism, egalitarianism, conservatism and neo-

people within our society, rather than a select few. Socialism, democratic

liberalism reflects our values and solves practical problems. The National Party

socialism, green and progressive perspectives are just a few of the ideological

is a perfect example.

standpoints that have helped build historic movements that we benefit from today. The civil rights movement, the antinuclear movement, and the welfare state to name a few. But do these left ideologies benefit students now?

Every mainstream political ideology has been tried somewhere around the world and succeeded in some respects while failed in many others. Ideas are evolving and adapting more rapidly than ever to keep pace with unprecedented

The US has seen a surge of millennial voter registration this election period,

rates of change and to deal with the fact that ideological concepts may pan out

with nearly three times the number of millennials registered to vote since 2008.

differently in reality than they do in politicians' heads.

Current statistics show the majority of this group also preferring a Democrat in the White House. Along with this surge in millennial voter registration, there has been one left political ideology that has grown in popularity and discussion during this period. Democratic socialism. Social democracy is a political, social and economic ideology that supports economic and social interventions to promote social justice within the framework of a capitalist economy, and a policy regime involving collective bargaining arrangements, a commitment to representative democracy, measures for income redistribution, regulation

National has been so successful because it has taken core principles from centre-right ideologies and implemented them in a modern and practical way.

The principles that flow from right wing ideologies reflect the values of everyday students. Drawing on ideological values such as individualism, equality of opportunity and family values, National has developed principles of ‘individual freedom and choice’, ‘competitive enterprise that rewards achievement’, ‘equal citizenship and opportunity’ and ‘strong families and caring communities’.

of the economy in the general interest and welfare state provisions. Social

Individualism is an idea from the right and the principle of individual freedom

democracy thus aims to create the conditions for capitalism to lead to greater

and choice means a National government will let you get on with your own life.

democratic, egalitarian and solidaristic outcomes. Doesn’t that just give you

Why shouldn’t you marry someone the same sex as you, make lots of money or

the warm fuzzies?

have a soft drink? People our age don’t accept stupid rules and want to be left

So how does this ideology fit into New Zealand’s political landscape, and should Generation Y be registered and ready to go next election? A simple Google search will give you the founding documents of the two largest left wing parties in our little country. The Labour Party’s Constitution, and The Green Party’s Green Charter. Both founding documents have very similar core goals and beliefs with each other, and with democratic socialism. Earlier this year

to make our own decisions about how we live our lives. The right side of politics believes in building a nation through competitive but fair enterprise. Every student wants a great job after university. We deserve it after the blood, sweat and tears we have put into getting a degree. Competitive enterprise and rewards for achievement mean that we have a cutting edge and growing economy that will reward us for putting so much effort into our university education.

in May, the Labour and Greens formalised a Memorandum of Understanding,

New Zealand is a tiny country at the bottom of the world and to clinch

the first step towards a change in government. This is important as it shows

opportunity we must be a confident, outward looking nation that competes

both political parties are willing to take a chance and make sacrifices for a

on the world stage. National has backed innovative businesses to succeed

vision beyond their own party. With both parties sharing a similar ideology

internationally in agriculture, horticulture, science, engineering, technology,

that focuses on democracy, egalitarianism and solidarity, this is good news for

ICT and tourism. National’s principled stance believes in our ability to be

potential millennial voters come next year's election.

successful free traders in emerging global markets. We are all better off if we

This is especially true for students when you look at what the last two terms from a right wing government have done to tertiary education. Are they a big

have good jobs in a competitive economy that fairly rewards those who build the enterprise we all survive on.

deal though? By themselves they’re manageable to some degree, but once

Equality of opportunity is a value from the right and National’s principle of

you add in every other issue facing young New Zealanders in the foreseeable

equal citizenship and opportunity means we respect everyone in this country.

future, It feels like a lot more to handle. The cost of living is skyrocketing while

Under National, the government won’t throw you out if you live in Auckland

student support stagnates, class sizes swell and tutorials are cut (it’s on the

and have a Chinese sounding surname. Every person is given the same chance

table here at UoW). And once you add all that into the mix, it feels like someone

to succeed. Under National, every school kid gets a world-class education,

took a steamer in your morning Mi Goreng.

every millennial a better chance to buy their first home and every senior access

Here are the ‘solutions’ National has offered: • New fees for student loans; • Cuts to support for living costs for part-time and older students; • Failure to invest in affordable transport options for students; • Increased compulsory student loan repayments from 10% to 12%; • Changes to the rules so that post-grad students can’t get allowances; • Ending scholarships that contribute to fees in return for staying in NZ; • Capping student housing support at $40, while the average Auckland rent is over $200 per week.

to world-class healthcare. Students want to live in a country that looks after them as well as their friends, family and neighbours.

The left would rather stand up for equality of outcome — where the people who take no responsibility for their own life and their own decisions piggy back off those of us who do. We all know that one person who has stuffed around after school doing nothing. As long as they have a decent standard of living, why should our taxes drag us down to subsidise an equally good lifestyle for them?

Conservatives have always believed in family values. In a modern and diverse country this doesn’t mean enforcing nuclear families, but it does mean making sure every child grows up in a safe and loving home. A National Government

If you’ve just skimmed through that, please just take this one part with you

has brought about the biggest reform in the history of Child Youth and Family

before you turn the page: policy. Look at at what’s on offer before voting both

because the right believe we owe it to those kids. Right wing principles reflect

locally and nationally.

our values and are making our country a better place.

15

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

RE-O 2 016 SCHEDULE MONDAY 10.00am – 2.00pm

ZM Campus Crew

10.00am – 2.00pm

Domino's Hot Box

11.00am

Fresh Hot Soup

12.00pm BBQ Lunch Tour Management Courtyard

YOUR GUIDE TO ALL THE FREE HOOK UPS AND FUN AT RE-O 2 016 Make sure you have cash in your hand on Monday for the

TUESDAY

Domino's Hot Box like any hot box it involves cheap pizza

10.00am – 2.00pm

ZM Campus Crew

10.00am – 2.00pm

BurgerFuel Free Fries

11.00am

Fresh Hot Soup

12.00pm BBQ Lunch Tour Engineering Courtyard

and you not having to do anything. If you are way too poor you can always get the BurgerFuel Free Fries on Tuesday just by showing your BurgerFuel app. Wednesday is Clubs Day which means it is also free pens from politicans day.

Cookie Time S'mores are back and are worth the extra lifts at the gym. Nexus has 70 tickets to giveaway for The Nexus

WEDNESDAY 10.00am – 2.00pm

Level Zero open from 10.00am – 3.00pm

Metro Mystery Movie on Thursday Night. On Friday we have ZM Campus Crew

10.00am – 2.00pm WSU Clubs Day S Block 11.00am

Fresh Hot Soup

12.00pm

Cookie Time S'mores

1.00pm – 2.00pm

ZM's Big Prize Surpise with Guy and Georgia

bacon and egg sandwiches and live music for Drop the Mic II as a teaser for Party at our Place where you can come and have a house party in the Nexus offices! With a free pig on the spit, Domino’s Hot Box, 8 DJ’s and a cash bar, It is totally worth the $10.

If you are really just in it for the free food then make sure you know where the BBQ Lunch Tour is at all times. Pak'nSave will be spinning the wheel all week and if it is about winning stuff

THURSDAY

then look out for the ZM Campus Crew who are on campus

10.00am – 2.00pm

ZM Campus Crew

11.00am

Fresh Hot Soup

12.00pm BBQ Lunch Tour FASS Grassy Knoll 7.00pm Nexus Metro Mystery Movie Metro by Hoyts, Centreplace

FRIDAY

every day and are bringing the free coffee cart, the Big Prize Surprise and Guy and Georgia with them. The WSU Bus for A Buck is running all RE-O and will give you a free ride home.

We genuinely don’t want you all having to come to campus, so find a bus stop near you and we will be by on a loop.

Remember you can get your $5 bus pass to get rides into town every night by coming to the SUB. The last, and potentially best way to get free stuff is to like

10.00am – 2.00pm

ZM Campus Crew

11.00am

Fresh Hot Soup

12.00pm

Drop the Mic II

12.00pm

Bacon & Egg Burgers

9.00pm

Party at Our Place

the RE-O2016 and Party at our Place events on Facebook.

We are giving away massive daily prize packs just for tagging yourself into photos.

All events will be run from Level Zero unless otherwise stated.

17

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE GENERAL GRIEVOUS – IRRELEVANT CINEMATIC FOOTNOTE OR TOWERING POLITICAL PARALLEL? ALEXANDER NEBESKY

Sometimes political realities can be stranger than fiction (I mean, Trump’s

The forces of the Republic live in fear of him while the senate espouses the

aesthetic, for one). Sometimes popular culture can offer insight into the political

need to increase militarisation to counter his campaigns. This is where Grievous

climate of a society. Sometimes Star Wars fans share their extensive opinions

becomes a mirror, held uncompromisingly to the face of Western Democracy.

with you. Right now Alexander Nebesky has a partially self-deprecating,

He is the defining feature of many US politicians, the influence on our own

entirely pretentious analysis of western politics as critiqued through the

Prime Minister’s decision to deploy troops to the Middle East. With such an

characterisation — or lack thereof — of General Grievous.

enemy, one who runs, world figures must resort to chasing. During the Obama Administration, Osama was finally killed — everyone gets got eventually, and the

With the current fervor surrounding US elections, the nearly-damning Chilcot

truth is no different for Grievous at the hands of Jedi Master Obi Wan Kenobi.

Report, Brexit, housing bubbles, and the slew of shootings and terrorist attacks

But as we can draw the parallels between Grievous and real-world terror, we can

that blight the world in the modern day, it becomes more and more apparent

also see him as a metaphorical example of the revolving-door of accountability

when we see life imitate art, and art imitate life. An unlikely place to find such

in western politics. Our own Prime Minister, John Key often avails himself of his

a connection lies in the entirely irrelevant and sub-par Star Wars: Episode III –

ability to deflect accountability with handy phrases to the effect of ‘I don’t recall’,

Something Something Something, and even more unlikely are the parallels that

or, ‘Look, at the end of the day, New Zealanders aren't really concerned with…’,

can be drawn between General Grievous, the ill-fated minor villain of the film, and

and we all remember the plastering of newspaper headlines revealing that Prime

the leading political figures of our contemporary world. As unlikely as these are,

Minister Key couldn’t recall texts from Cameron Slater, or didn’t remember

we shall persevere, for perhaps, there are salient points that can be employed to

hinting at a deal with Tuhoe to give them ownership of Urewera National Park.

aid us in our understanding of how politics and art inform one another and hold

There is a similarity here between Grievous’ very real flight from confrontation

significance when held up to the light of hindsight.

and the verbal flight, initiated with dismissal by those who most truly should be

As a slight clarification, I’m only using the 2005 Revenge of the Sith to inform this

facing the consequences on their daring raid on Coruscant.

article. One can argue the canonical merits of various other expanded universe

On the world stage, under the floodlights of geopolitics, the deliciously

sources, but honestly, anyone who has time to watch 100 episodes of The Clone

irrelevant Grievous can be seen in his role as a separatist general as the military

Wars is a ten-year-old boy and as such, will not be interested in this highly-

equivalent of Boris Johnson or Nigel Farage in their concerted effort to ensure

qualified meta-analysis.

Britain’s break from Europe. The very basis of Grievous’ reasoning behind being

General Grievous as a character is fairly forgettable. He has a non existent backstory, no personality, and nobody is ever quite sure why he’s the bad guy — he just is. But as a lightening rod for political archetypes he is surprisingly telling.

a supporter of the separatist movement is never fleshed out nor even hinted at, unlike the various supporting arguments for Brexit delivered time and time again in the weeks and months leading up to last month’s referendum, though as a figurehead for separation both Brexiteers and Grievous attracted masses of

Of course, the most obvious case of Grievous being based on a real-life figure

support from those with whom they sympathised. Of course, these assertions

is in his role as the masked terror running rampant across the galaxy. In many

here are purely conjecture because I know neither why Brexiteers thought Brexit

ways he is Osama, he is ISIS. Their paths diverge when it comes to the fact that

would be a good idea, nor anything about General Grievous as a figurehead

Grievous’ war is conventional, unlike true terrorism, but in a post 9/11 America,

for galactic separatism because George Lucas conveniently forgot to give his

hungry for escapism, and, still chasing Osama, it was immensely gratifying to see

character any character.

an approximation of that masked terror struck down by the forces of justice. This thesis is further validated by Grievous’ only defining characteristic — his ability to run away. Just like the Taliban, Al Qaeda, and ISIS, General Grievous strikes out against the Republic forces and then, just as abruptly as he arrives, he flees. As a motif, this habit enrages viewers — why doesn’t he stay and fight? Why, if he is so feared, does he not strike his decisive blow?

In conclusion, despite the tenuous nature of these links, despite the ridiculous conclusions we have drawn about art and politics, and despite the irrelevance of the fictional figure chosen as a figurehead of political movements and violent organisations, we can all agree — a four-armed robot lizard with lightsabers is a pretty sick character for a multi-faceted art/life analysis.

19

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

YOUR SPACE MEMEFLAT What is the memeflat? Is it a building (a seventies state house, once for a family)? Is it a product of the internet spat up into a physical form? Is it the people that inhabit it (four messy BA students)? Is it a projection of the Platonic ideal of memeflat represented imperfectly on this plane of existence? The intersection of memes and flats or just a whole load of bullshit. —

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POLITICS

Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

23

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UNIREC

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

HALF-BAKED WITH VITAMIN D GF CHOCOLATE LIME CAKE

EXPECTATIONS VS. REALITY MOVING TO HAMILTON

VITAMIN D

BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Some of you had allergic responses to my culinary biography in last semester’s

EXPECTATIONS

Nexus, and now I’m not allowed to discuss the produce department or

Much like sulfur in Rotovegas, you can smell the bogan in the air the minute

Europe in my column. Thank you very much. Now, instead of regaling you

you drive past the Welcome to Hamilton sign, and the Subies and Holden

with adventures from the Nuremberg I have to channel Nigella, the saucy

Commodores dragging past you on the expressway only confirm this

TV gastronome whose effect on my teenage nights would have given Freud

sentiment. Everyone at the local Pak n’ Save is rocking the jandals, stubbies

a stroke. Here’s Nige’s flourless chocolate and lime cake which has been

and green Waikato hoodie combo as they shuffle to the alcohol section to

described by one partner as “the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.” Yes,

pick up a box of, you guessed it, Waikato Draught (also widely known as

it’s a cake better than dick.

river water) so they can get absolutely wasted before going to the Chiefs

Preheat your oven to 180°C and line and lubricate nine throbbing inches of cake pan.

game. You catch a flu after accidentally coming into contact with Hamilton Lake water and a nasty case of chlamydia from sitting on a chair in a food court. Every morning starts with an omnipresent layer of fog before you head

Set up a double boiler: a heatproof bowl riding a pan of simmering water.

to work in gumboots and a swannie whistling to Dave Dobbyn. During the

Introduce 150 g of dark chocolate with the 150 g butter and let them get sloppy.

weekend you drive through town and all you can see for miles are disaffected

In another bowl whip six eggs and 1 ¼ C caster sugar until they have swollen to three times the size.

youths lamenting about how boring their city is and how little there is to do.

At the end of the day you turn on the TV to see various broadcasts from Auckland about how you live in the Nation’s armpit. You mutter “bloody Jafas”

Here you’ll want the ‘flour’. Nigella, the minx, uses almond meal, but if you

to yourself.

want the cake to taste like Nutella then grind 100 g of hazelnuts and a turgid tablespoon of sugar in a food processor until you have a fine crumb and use

REALITY

that instead. If you want the really Nutellary taste then also slop a heavy

You find a surprising amount of activities and culture upon your arrival in

tablespoon of Nutella into the chocolate mix. Fold your meal into the egg

Hamilton and quickly discover that the stories about mullet sporting locals and

mixture with 4 t of cocoa powder, then fold that in the chocolatey-buttery mix.

their sheep shagging ways are not all that accurate. You are quickly corrected

Finally, mix in the zest and juice of an urgent, engorged lime.

about how the Clap Capital is no longer the Tron and that you should stop

Spank it all into your cake pan and slide it deep into the oven. Check on it after 30 mins, then put it in for another 10-15 or so depending on how hot and steamy your oven gets. Once it has come from the oven, drape a tea towel over the tin and let it cool on a baking tray.

trying to make “The Tron” happen, it’s not going to happen. The same applies for “The City of the Future”. You are overwhelmed by the cafes, restaurants and bars because from what you’d heard you assumed the only place to eat would be the various fast food chains on Greenwood St. When you find a flat to spend your uni life partying and pulling assignment all-nighters in you are

Unmould when cold, then dust with icing sugar. If you like your cake creamed,

pleasantly surprised by the cheap rent and the actual working heaters. The

try this margarita mix: Beat 250 ml of fat cream with 60 ml lime juice, a

mild(ish) weather means you never have to rack up a massive power bill. You

tablespoon each of Cointreau and tequila and ¾ C icing sugar until it’s spent.

learn with time that Hamilton is actually massively underrated and not half

Slop some of that on the side and you’re ready to go.

bad after all. But you don’t tell anyone else. It might become popular.

Then do butt stuff.

Word of advice: Yeah this is a big sappy love letter to Hamilton. Hamilton is cool. Start appreciating it.

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POLITICS

Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

NERD YORK TIMES PC POLICE

HEIL HOGAN MILDLY IMPAIRED

JARED WOOLDRIDGE

LYAM BUCHANAN

First they came for the new Star Wars, then they came for the Ghostbusters,

Alcohol was genuinely invented as an excuse. It gives you the freedom to

and soon it will be Ocean’s 11. Apparently the PC police are taking everything

make decisions with the choice of feeling bad about it, you could have full

we love away, and giving it all over to the female leads. Watch out, next

recollection of the previous night yet you can decide what you want to own

they’ll turn Iron Man into a woman! Well now, they just did, actually. Not in

up to. Obviously it all comes down to your own morals but everyone twists the

the movies, no, I doubt they’ll ever be that brave, but in the comic books.

story of their nights in some form. However if the idea of having morals is a

Everyone’s favourite alcoholic billionaire is hanging up his red and gold suit,

foreign concept here’s how to squeeze out of most situations.

and Riri Williams be wearing her own. “Gasp, harumph, my stars!” erupt the darker corners of the internet (maybe not in those exact terms) but that’s

STRIPPERS

expected, and this is nothing new, or anything to get upset about.

If you’re too sober to dance, or too shitfaced to get in, this is where you’ll end

For those that don’t read comics this isn’t the first time Marvel has changed out the old hero for the new like this. Why just the other year they had Thor losing his hammer, only to be picked up again by Jane Foster. Over recent years Marvel has, bless them, tried to diversify their comics. Where before, a few years ago, there were zero women headlining their own book, now they have between ten and twenty. Now that seems a scary number to some, those who don’t like change. As well as those who have other, less savoury motives, but screw them. You can’t convince me that giving, say, my six year old niece a chance to look up in the skies for Riri Williams instead of Tony Stark is a terrible thing. However, there is one downside I do see to all of this.

up. Route 66 is the overly affectionate Aunt we all reluctantly visit, you say you’ll only go for 15 minutes but everyone knows you’ll be gone for hours. As long as you’ve sunk enough for your eyes to glaze over nobody will judge you if you say you just went in to sit down and sober up.

SLEEP-OVERS Woken up with someone you wish you hadn’t? Don’t add them on Facebook.

Simple. Not only will this protect you from incessant likes on your Facebook friendship but you’ll also avoid having to explain to Mum how you finally met your cousin. If your special sleep-over friend turns out to be associated with one of your mates, you’re fucked. It doesn’t matter if they’re an ex, classmate or if

Comic books change, it’s the nature of the medium. Batman dies, Superman

they were just unsuccessfully grafting for them, it’ll spread like wildfire and you’ll

dies, Captain America dies, and others assume their identity and take over

have awkward tension for weeks if not months. With the state of some of the

their books while they’re dead. Of course, these changes all rectify themselves

locals, people will be more inclined to believe you genuinely didn’t remember

in the end, and therein lies a potential problem; as great as it is to give kids,

anything from the previous night, purely for your own psychological well being.

girls especially, these new heroes to look up to, they always find a way back to the status quo. Dick Grayson becomes Batman just until Bruce Wayne comes

CLASSY VOMS

back to life, and doubtless, these new heroes will have to turn around and give

Was four Cruisers one too many? Did you accidentally consider going vegan?

Thor and Stark back their books. It might be cynical, but as long as these new

Either way you’re well overdue a trip to the nearest bush, and a kick to the

heroes are filling their shoes, they’ll always stand to lose them. So while any

throat, to rid your system of everything impure. Though if you’re too proud of

diversity is great, and yes, change is a good thing to keep it fresh and exciting,

your image to even consider such a vulgar act you’ve either got to blame your

perhaps a few more original heroes, with their own mantles to hold, would be

flatmate for their shit cooking or use the following equation:

an even better way to go. More Ms. Marvels, and screw the haters.

(Number of drinks actually consumed) + (How much you say you can bench) + (Circumference of your ego) + (How many people you think are in love with you) / (Severity of Daddy issues) = (How many drinks you’re going to say you’ve had)2 By following this simple equation your masculinity will always be protected from the real world and everyone will continue to think you’re the coolest guy ever.

27

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

NEW LOCALS POLITICAL VOYEURS

SAWIT MATARIKI

MIHIR ROY

NIMA RIINI

The beautiful thing about foreign politics is that it's happening elsewhere,

Tena Koutou

so it becomes a sort of spectacle, a form of entertainment. Watching New

Ko Putauaki te maunga

Zealand Parliament TV is akin to watching paint dry, but watching something

Ko Mataatua te waka

like the US Presidential Primaries or the UK Brexit vote brings a level of

Ko Ngati Awa te iwi

enjoyment that fictional political dramas like House of Cards could never hope

Ko Nima taku ingoa

to match. And yet people in other countries feel the same way when they see the NZ Prime Minister do something ridiculous such as pull a waitress's ponytail. Repeatedly.

Kia ora my name is Nima, I am one of the Māori/Pacifica representatives for SAWIT (Student Association of the Wintec). I have been given the opportunity to give my interpretation or understanding of what Matariki means to me.

As a domestic viewer I don't derive enjoyment from these moments, as I'm sure an American watching the US election coverage feels embarrassed,

WHAT IS MATARIKI?

more than anything, by the actions of their politicians. When it comes to

Matariki is the Māori name for the cluster of stars, also in Japan the Pleiades

politics, the ridiculousness of real life can never be beaten by a work of fiction

or Matariki star cluster is known as Subaru. It rises in mid-winter, late May or

because it would seem too unrealistic to the viewer, yet we readily accept

early June.

the ludicrous things that happen in everyday life. Politics is often a touchy subject, one that people love to discuss yet are often not willing to change their views on, which can often lead to an echo-chamber where everyone agrees on the issues, everyone shares the same opinion. But where people have an opinion, someone inevitably has a criticism, sometimes valid but often unwarranted.

Ka puta Matariki ka rere Whānui.

Ko te tohu tēnā o te tau e!

Matariki re-appears, Whānui starts its flight.

Being the sign of the [new] year!

Traditionally, Matariki was a time to remember those who had passed on in

My personal favourite is the comment sections of politically motivated YouTube videos where the likes of xXxWeedWizzard420xXx face off against

the last year. But it was also a happy event — crops had been harvested and seafood and birds had been collected.

the likes of Trump4Wall2016. A verbal, gladiatorial arena where the best and

Matariki atua ka eke mai i te rangi e roa,

brightest challenge each other to a battle of wit, where the loser is finished

E whāngainga iho ki te mata o te tau e roa e.

off with a swift “fite me irl m8, ill rek u”, and the winner is awarded the proud

Divine Matariki come forth from the far-off heaven,

honour of a thumbs up. If only all political discourse could be this focused and

Bestow the first fruits of the year upon us.

driven, progress would be more than just a two syllable word. Too often we can get caught up in the idea that we like a certain politician or party without truly knowing what they stand for, so let me leave you with this: If you live in a democracy, use your vote, but don't throw it away blindly. Do your homework, research the issues lest we Regr-exit.

Matariki literally means the ‘eyes of god’ (mata ariki) or ‘little eyes’ (mata riki).

One story says, when Ranginui, the sky father, and Papatūānuku, the earth mother was separated by their tamariki (children), Tāwhirimātea the god of the winds, became angry, tearing out his eyes and hurling them into the heavens.

Another story is that Matariki is the mother surrounded by her six daughters, Tupu-ā-nuku, Tupu-ā-rangi, Waitī, Waitā, Waipuna-ā-rangi and Ururangi.

Matariki and her daughters appear to assist the sun, Te Rā, whose winter journey from the north has left him weakened.

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POLITICS

Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK ’N SAVE HEAD CHEF CHICKEN AND LEEK PIE INGREDIENTS 2 large chicken boobs (cubed) 1 Tbs butter 1 large leek (or two medium leeks) sliced 1 cm rings 3 celery stalks finely sliced 3 carrots finely diced Handful of fresh thyme 1-2 cloves garlic diced 2 Tbs Cornflour 285 ml milk 1 wineglass of either white wine or water 1 chicken stock cube Puff pastry Salt and Pepper to season

DIRECTIONS 1. In a hot pan on high heat, throw in the cubed chicken boob and cook until lightly browned and not pink.

2. Remove chicken from pan. Add butter, let melt and add in chopped veges, along with garlic and thyme. Cook until veges soften slightly.

3. Mix cornflour with a bit of the milk to get the flour lumps out and add with rest of milk into veges in the pan. Crumble over stock cube and add winesies or water. Let the whole mixture thicken and season.

4. Add in chicken and coat with creamy vege mixture.

5. Prepare a large pie dish with a greasing of butter, lay out bottom pastry. Empty chicken filling into the pie dish and cap the pie with more pastry and roll in pie edges.

6. Brush the pastry with milk, cook for 30-40 mins at 180°C or until golden.

7. Allow it to cool slightly, it will be pretty warm — burn your mouth and throat as you swallow warm!

29

Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

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POLITICS

He’s into electronic music, developing web apps, and constant research on how to create a General AI which probably explains why he was so keen on Pokemon Go (Editor’s Note: I am SO sorry that this is the millionth reference to this fucking game - No Pokemon Go next week, I swear). She packs drugs for a living, got locked in a safe once, has a passion for 90s movies and a tendency to rap Kanye West when she drinks. What characters.

Blind Date has moved, so how did the lovely couple find the new House on Hood?

HE SAID

SHE SAID

Wednesday quickly approached and I strolled into House head high,

I didn’t go on the blind date to find my one true love in a sea of Suh Dudes

Pokedex in hand, confident I could pull off a good time. I was casually

at uni, I went on the blind date with the sole mission to get hammered for

catching a pidgey at the bar, when a very fine looking lady appeared next

free and see what happens. What I didn’t expect was to end up trapped

to me. My blind date, the Misty I’d been waiting for. We snagged some

at the lake Pokemon hunting in the rain. But we’ll get to that later. I got

drinks, took a seat and started the small talk.

home from work pretty late but I had my priorities in check so straight

To my surprise it was smiles and laughter all round. Eventually I worked

away I downed a couple of vodkas while I got ready.

up the courage to pop the ever so topical question.. “Sooo… How many

We arrived at pretty much the exact same time which meant I didn’t

Pokemon have you caught?”, to my surprise she threw up in a fit of

have enough time to get another drink in. (I promise I’m not an alcoholic)

laughter, collected herself, and replied.. “Oh quite a few, “you?”. She

Conversation was easy, he was a really cool guy, but he was doing Dry

smirked. I grinned. “63”, and I wasn’t joking. Winning. Jeez, what a

July, so my plans to get wasted were kind of derailed. Immediately he

way to make a guy fall in love. After what felt like minutes, half eaten

asked me if I was a Pokemon trainer. I’d played it once. All I could think

vegetarian pizza, half eaten vegetarian salad later (we said we were

was “Is this what my life is coming to? Going on blind dates and talking

full, but really we were edging to go pokemon hunting). We left; with a

about Pokemon?”

pokemon mission as our key peripheral.

We ended up driving to the lake to go Pokemon hunting which is modern

Long story short, many magikarps caught later, We found ourselves

romance at its finest, but apparently the minute we got out of the car the

locked in Hamilton Lake, no escape for our car; dammit, I can’t drop her

gates got locked because when we went to leave we were trapped. We

home. Luckily her flatmate was able to give us a lift, as the freezing rain

rang security but it was going to cost $35 CASH IN HAND for them to let

was holding back all romance. She dropped me off home, we exchanged

us out and the nearest ATM was in town, so we walked to a bus stop and

numbers, and went our separate ways. My only regret was not stealing

I called my flattie to pick us up. Single handedly the most interesting date

that first kiss right then and there. But hey, can’t catch ‘em all, right?

I have ever been on. Gotta catch em all, right?

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU 9 3

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TRIVIAL

A normal human body cell has how many chromosomes?

Who voices Puss in Boots in the Shrek films?

Nauru became independent from which

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How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

POLITICS

10

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country in 1968?

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

WORDFIND P

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Dolla Bills Yo

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Raffan

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Referendum Decorum

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Harawira

HOROSCOPES CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19)

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)

If you were waiting for a sign to make that first move on your

This week, the stars suggest you brace yourself for your mate’s

crush, this it it. Go forth and conquer.

vacation stories. Keep telling yourself that May St was just as fun as Fiji.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

Sirius the dog star signs bright for you this week. Adopt a dog, and

The moon hisses angrily this week, possibly because a conspiracy theorist

bring it into the WSU so I can pat it please.

who believes the world is controlled by lunar reptiles is visiting NZ.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22)

Change your sheets before you start bringing babes home, especially

If you’re sitting in L.G.01 reading this, look down and to your left. See the

if you got stoned and ate pizza in bed every day of the break.

blonde, wearing black? I’ll eat my telescope if they’re not your soulmate.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22)

Welcome back! Glad to see that you haven’t forgotten how to

You are likely to feel cold and tired this week. Not because Mercury

read over the two week break. Or have you?

is in your zone, but because it’s Hamilton, and you’re back at uni.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21)

Mitch Hedburg said “Rice is great when you’re hungry and

Scorpios are the tallest, hottest, smartest star sign. The Editor is a

want 2,000 of something”.

Scorpio and she’s retracting a Pokemon joke from this horoscope.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21)

New semester, new you! The stars indicate that you’re going to

Saturn shines bright this week, but not bright enough to make up for the

definitely start actually using that gym membership of yours, right?

blown lightbulbs in your house. You’re an adult now, buy a new lightbulb.

33

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YOU HAVE THE POWER. USE IT.

S witch on your super powers.

Make sure you’re enrolled to vote in your 2016 local elections.

Check your details now at elections.org.nz.