Nexus 2016 Issue 12

N.12 / V.48

WE REVIEW THE WSU PAGE 8

WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO, ZOO, ZOO! PAGE 16

TOP OF THE SHOPS PAGE 18

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CONTENTS

CONTRIBUTORS

01.

EDITOR

EDITORIAL

Brittany Rose 02. LETTUCE

editor@nexusmag.co.nz

03.

UNI NEWS

DESIGN

04.

NEXUS NEWS

Olivia Paris

07. SPORTS

design@nexusmag.co.nz DEPUTY EDITORS Lyam Buchanan

08. CARE

lyam@nexusmag.co.nz Bronwyn Laundry

12. REVIEWS

bronwyn@nexusmag.co.nz

14. COVERED

MANAGING EDITOR James Raffan

15. ARTS

james@nexusmag.co.nz

15. AUTEUR

CONTRIBUTORS Abhay Singh

16.

WE'RE GOING TO THE ZOO, ZOO, ZOO!

18.

TOP OF THE SHOPS

20.

FIELDFREEBIEDAYS

22.

YOUR SPACE

Tom Collopy Freddy Walker Dave Taylor Georgia Pollock Jared Wooldridge Te Waiaranga Ratana Nick Osborne Peter Dornauf

26. COLUMNS

Dr. Richard Swainson Onyx Lily

29.

PAK 'N SAVE HEAD CHEF

Hugh Mann Matthew Rae

30. SNAPPED

Nina Fox Keihana Kingi-Takoko

31.

BLIND DATE

32. PUZZLES

Mel Martin COVER Nick Osborne DESIGN INTERNS Nikkole Lulu, Nick Osborne ADVERTISING advertising@nexusmag.co.nz OFFICES Ground Floor, Student Union Building Gate One, University of Waikato Knighton Road, Hamilton ONLINE facebook.com/nexusNZ @nexusmag Spotify: nexusmagazine ISSUE 12 6 JUNE 2016 HAMILTON

Editorial NEXUS MAGAZINE

EDITORIAL HAMILTONIAN HOE BRITTANY ROSE

The other weekend I hosted a friend’s birthday party at my house — a car load of Auckland boys came down, and fuck me they were insufferable.

You can essentially guarantee any idiot from north of the Bombays is going to pull up the tired old “Hamilhole”, say “The Tron” without a speck of irony, or claim Waikato Draught is made from river water. These weren’t clever the first time I heard them, and they’re still a total bore five hundred times later.

Aside from photobombing my Snap story selfies, patronising the taxi call centre staff with an over familiar “sweetheart”, and smashing jellyshots into my carpet before ‘explaining’ to me that Rug Doctors remove beer (beer isn’t filled with food colouring like the gelatinous dye goo in those wee plastic shots, though); they mostly did my head in by insisting on shit talking Hamilton.

The most tired and flat are the chlamydia jokes. Firstly, I’ll have you know that according to a Stuff article I read last year, Rotorua is actually the Clap Capital now.

Secondly, there is nothing wrong with getting a sexually transmitted infection.

Clap on your clam is just a thing that sometimes happens if you’re getting laid and screw up your contraception through human error.

If you think you might have an STI then follow this step by step guide to not spreading infections or the rumour that we all have ill privates: 1. Don’t be ashamed.

2. Go to the Student Health Centre, Family Planning, or the Sexual Health Clinic by the hospital.

3. Get tested.

4. If you test positive then take the medication, let your past sexual partners know, and protect yourself next time. Simple.

Perpetuating the ‘Hamiltonians are hoes with chlamydia’ stereotype is a) hella boring, and b) really slut-shamey. If people want to fuck, let them fuck, and don’t turn them into the butt of a joke just for catching something.

There seems to be a popular anti-Hamilton sentiment. It’s apparent in Dai Henwood’s jokes on 7 Days, and it even shone through in Dep-Ed Lyam’s Road Trip feature last week — and it’s something I’m getting quite bored of. So we decided to dedicate an issue of Nexus to our glorious city. You’ll have had a sneak peak at the behind-the-scenes of our wildest feature on Snapchat (@nexusmag) when Jared Wooldridge and I went to the zoo (p.16). Our newest editorial-team addition (and Fraser High graduate), Bronwyn Laundry, threw the pros and cons of each Hamilton mall into an algorithm machine and came up with a complex ranking system for your convenience (p.20), while Onyx Lily made the obligatory nod to Hamilton’s farming roots with her piece on the Fieldays (p.18).

Britt 1

NEXUS MAGAZINE Lettuce

E C T U E T LT O T HE EDIT OR

#BUDGET2016 RIGHT NEUTRAL

Having been on this planet for 21 years now I can honestly say that never I my entire life have I heard so much self-indulgent whingeing as what I read in last week’s Budget Summary (although the tribble that is usually heard at a Bernie Sanders rally may go close). Surely as the Uni’s magazine you have the role of at least attempting to be politically neutral and display both sides of the story? But know you have to have a two-page fucking spread with the only political opinions coming from left-wing drop kicks like Andrew Little. I mean

Lettuce is the Letters to the Editor section of Nexus because If you

what did you expect the budget to bring you? A fucking house and

say "letters" quick enough in a super Niu Zeelund accent it sounds

$1000 a week, what’s wrong with pensioners getting twice as much

like "lettuce".

as students a week they have actually paid taxes their entire life

Comment on our Facebook page, on our Instagram, or even Snap your lettuce to us. Just use #lettuce and we'll put you in print, and respond to your comments. Either that or email lettuce@nexusmag.co.nz Disclaimer Letters published contain the opinion of the writer and the writer

unlike most students who for some reason think it’s their god given right to receive a large amount of somebody else’s money each week whilst contributing nothing to society.

Rant over.

alone. Nexus publications take no responsibility for the content or opinions so

1. As a student magazine we have a role in representing

expressed. By submitting your letter you give consent to its publication in Nexus

students, student issues and speaking about how political and

and subsequent public scrutiny. Letters are the authors own work and Nexus will not edit to compensate for lack of intelligence or coherency. Nexus reserves the right to edit or refuse to publish any letter which breaches any law, is defamatory to any person, or contains threats of violence or hate speech.

economic realities (like the budget) impact on students.

2. If you can take Andrew Little’s snippet quotes like “hodge podge” seriously then you’re obviously a time travelling 21 year old because holy shit that is the language use of a 1950s housewife.

FACEBOOK FLATTERY 1 JAMIE MILLER

3. No, I don’t expect students should get $1,000 p/w which is why I never said that. I do think that students should have access to an allowance or living costs that actually covers their rent, food and bills. The Government should enable students to focus on their study full time, rather than jeopardise their

Hey Britt... You're pretty cute.

performance by having to dedicate time to shitty jobs.

False. I am very cute – Editor

4. Fuck your over-entitled attitude. We, as a society, should support our elderly because they are most vulnerable, not because they’ve had a longer stint in employment.

FACEBOOK FLATTERY 2

5. Once you pay your tax it becomes public money. It’s not “someone else’s money” and the term “taxpayer’s dollar” is

JAMIE MILLER

so cringey omg. – Editor I thoroughly enjoy reading the sassy reply comments in lettuce tbh.

Well, this is a bit meta – Editor

FACEBOOK FLATTERY 3 APRON ASH

BLIND DATE SUCCESS HORNY

I really loved the snapchats this week. Wow how amazing is Britt, not only an incredible editor to an incredible magazine but an all round incredible person, too! (britt feed me) (nexus feed me) I fucking love

Holy shit I have never read a blind date section so kinky I need to be set up with someone like that dang that was good, shot nexus.

Ash, you are my friend. You can’t win the NutriGrain Giveaway

You can call me “Eros, God of sexual desire, son of Aphrodite / Lay

Competition. It would be nepotism. Or something. Plus, you know

back, and feast as this audio guides you through new and exciting

I take sadistic pleasure in holding out on you xo – Editor

positions” Lady Gaga, ‘G.U.Y’, ARTPOP – Editor

2

nutrigrain and I fucking love coffee. Hulp.

N.12 / V.48

HAMILTON

News from the University NEXUS MAGAZINE

Kurt Randell took out the Chinese Bridge Speech Competition recently. He’ll travel

ONYA

SPEECH KING

to China in July to compete against universities from all over the world. He’s also been offered an all-expenses-paid trip to study at China’s Fudan University for a year.

BACK FROM INTERPOL Postgraduate Computer Scientists Jeff Garae (left) and Shaun Stricot-Tarboton (right) are back from their three-month stint working at INTERPOL Global Complex for Innovation in Singapore.

ALL ABOUT COMMUNITY PhD student Ingrid Jones won a Community Waikato Scholarship this month. The award recognised her community support for people with a learning disability.

RAISING THE BAR Vanessa Goodman (pictured) won the Minter Ellison Rudd Watts Witness Examination Competition recently.

MOOT PROS

Emma Speakman and Talia Powell won

Law student Jesse Tizard (middle) was the winner of the Senior

the Russell McVeagh Client Interviewing

Moot Competition, with fellow student Amelia Watson(left) coming

Competition. Now they’re all off to

second. They’re both competing at the nationals later this year.

compete in Australia.

Full stories available at waikato.ac.nz/news-events. Got a story to share? Email meganb@waikato.ac.nz.

STRESSED ABOUT EXAMS?

AWARD YOUR WORK

Now’s the time to get yourself sorted for

The Student Counselling Service is hosting

Applications are open for the 2016

next semester. Add or change your July

workshops on reducing exam stress

Undergraduate Awards. Submit your top

papers by logging in to iWaikato and

on Wednesday 8 June, 11.30am and

course work to be recognised as a top

completing a Change of Enrolment. For

Thursday 9 June, 1pm, in M.1.42, Hamilton.

undergraduate in your field. There are 25

advice call 0800 WAIKATO or go to an

No registration required.

categories. Applications close 14 June.

More info at undergraduateawards.com

info session.

Register at waikato.ac.nz/go/info.

HOW DO YOU GET TO CAMPUS?

FREE CAREER ADVICE - ONLINE

ANY SUGGESTIONS?

…and has this changed with the

Now you can get free career advice from

If you’ve got ideas on how to improve

introduction of parking charges this year?

wherever you are.

the student experience at Waikato — we

Help inform future planning by taking our

Visit waikato.ac.nz/go/careers to register

want to hear them. Email your suggestions

survey at bit.ly/UoWcommute — it only

for an online workshop and find out what

through to suggestions@waikato.ac.nz

takes a few minutes.

topics are covered.

Go to iWaikato or Student eNews for more information and other need-to-knows.

NEED TO KNOW

GET SET FOR B SEMESTER

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

"We've had sessional assistants come to TEU to ask for help, and we've done so, even if they're not members because for some of them scraping together the fee is not something they can do."

TEU states, "We intend to push for sessional assistants to be included in the collective agreement. At the moment they're on individual fixedterm contracts and they could be better protected if they were on a collective agreement."

Tutors Unite! acknowledge that “this will be a great first step toward addressing our key concern.”

THE UNI SAYS...

After speaking with Tutors Unite! and the Tertiary Education Union, Nexus took the concerns of sessional assistants to the university.

Last year Nexus spoke with Tutors Unite! — a group of students who are interested in representing tutors/sessional

NEWS SAD TUTORS :(

assistants on campus. Are you aware of this group?

Yes and the University is always happy to meet with groups

BRITTANY ROSE

such as this to hear their concerns and ideas.

Between 2014 and 2016 strides were made to get rid of

Tutors Unite! are working alongside Tertiary Education Union (TEU) to improve the employment contracts of sessional assistants.

zero hour contracts in fast food industries, retail and other sectors. Why are we still using them for sessional assistants?

Sessional Assistants are not on zero-hour contracts. They

Not all of the people taking tutorials on campus are employed under the job title

are on fixed-term employment agreements which state the

‘Tutor’, many are also postgraduate students and are employed on fixed term

expected number of hours per fortnight; these can be changed

contracts as ‘sessional assistants’.

only by agreement. They are not required to be available for

Joseph Graddy, a spokesperson for Tutors Unite! says, “I think that we are effectively on zero-hour contracts. A typical sessional assistant/tutor contract is fixed-term and does have an expected number of hours written on it but tutors very rarely, if ever, actually work that number of hours."

work at other times.

How are the interests of sessional assistants addressed within the university as a whole? Is this on a faculty by faculty basis?

“There are four pay rates on the standardised scale and they are not applied in a

The procedures for dealing with employment relationship

standardised way as the definition of ‘experience’ varies greatly even within the

problems are clearly set out in sessional assistants’

same school.”

employment agreements.

“Additionally, the pay scales do not take into account extra responsibilities that may be asked of experienced tutors such as coordinating papers."

“Our key concern is that the pay and working conditions make it very unlikely that tutors return after teaching for one semester."

From our initial discussions with sessional assistants it seems that it’s a little wild west at the moment and the pay rates, hours and resources vary largely from school to school or sometimes paper to paper. Has the

“Many first-time tutors come into the role very optimistic and often quickly feel

University given any thought to standardising pay rates

overwhelmed with the workload. It would be great if there were procedures put

for experience, hours and contracts?

in place by the university to check in with tutors rather than simply waiting for

The University has already standardised hourly rates for

‘relationship problems’ to appear."

sessional assistants based on qualifications and experience

“Not speaking out about issues for fear of not being offered contracts in the future is a big problem for our tutors (and anyone in insecure work) and it would be very helpful for the university to address this problem.”

and these are available to all managers. Any sessional assistants who believe their pay rate is incorrect should contact the Human Resource Management Division by email: hrm@waikato.ac.nz. The number of hours allocated to

The TEU acknowledges the position the sessional assistants are in, "Sessional

individual papers/programmes/etc is determined at the local

assistants are a particularly vulnerable group of staff. They're in a position where

level taking into account for example size of class, nature of

they're juggling postgraduate study with tutoring."

the paper, staff resources etc.

4

N.12 / V.48

HAMILTON

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

NEWS LABOUR GOES GREEN BRITTANY ROSE

Labour and Greens have signed a Memorandum of Understanding stating that they agree to “work together on matters of mutual interest.” Mainly changing the Government in the 2017 General Election.

The memorandum is a pinky promise to “work co-operatively”, signed by Andrew Little, Annette King, Metiria Turei and James Shaw. Scattered with feel good keywords like “good faith,” “mutual trust,” and “integrity and openness” there’s some serious love vibes.

They wanna make sure they’re on the page, and “give each other prior notice and the details of major announcements and speeches.”

How considerate. They do still remain two distinct parties, and “support each other’s right to express alternate views.”

the benefits of reciprocity in a relationship with the capacity to

NEWS SMOKEFREE BY 2025

“agree to disagree.” Since green and red are complementary colours,

ABHAY SINGH

At the very least they’re demonstrating open communication and

we’re reasonably sure we won’t be covering a messy breakup or cheating scandal anytime soon.

Way back in Issue Five (4th April) we interviewed James Shaw

In 2014 the University of Waikato became a Smokefree campus. Now the entire

and asked about Greens <3 Labour, and Greens vs National. From

country wants to go smokefree by 2025. To achieve this goal Associate Health

a quick scan of every ~real~ news source we realised he’s basically

Minister Peseta Sam Lotu-liga released draft regulations and a consultation

repeating what he said to us then, so we copy-pasted it into this

document with the aim of standardising the look of cigarette packs.

story. It’s the last week of semester, okay. Go easy on us.

Lotu-liga justified this release by adding, “The design and appearance of cigarette

What do you think differentiates the Greens from Labour?

packets are powerful marketing tools for vendors.”

I think there are a lot of things that still distinguish us, but primarily

Brown-green packaging will be used with health warnings which cover 75 per cent

Green political philosophy is rooted in a view of economics which is

of the front of the packs. Tobacco imagery will be removed but brand names will be

within the context of the environment. The idea that obviously there

allowed subject to regulatory requirements. Plain packaging has reduced tobacco

are resources that are finite, and that therefore, how those resources

sales by 14 per cent in Australia and is expected to be introduced early next year in

is utilised is of critical importance both to future generations but also

New Zealand.

between members of the existing generation. So that then shapes a political and an economic worldview that I don’t think the Labour

Other measures the government will take to achieve the 2025 aim is to increase the

party fundamentally grasps. So the Labour Party exists within the

price of tobacco from $20 to $30 for a 20 pack and increase the tax on tobacco.

old industrial unlimited growth paradigm, but there are definitely

From January 1 next year the tax on tobacco will rise by 10 per cent for four years.

people within the Labour party who’ve grasped that — they tend to

The tax will net the government $425 million over that period.

be the younger generation.

John Key is positive that New Zealand will have a “firm footing” with regard to any legal challenges as counties such as the UK and Ireland have not faced any challenges

Do you believe that the Greens could be a valuable coalition

from the World Trade Organisation (WTO) for their plain packaging policies, and

party to both Labour and National or is the green vote simply a

Australia recently won a case.

vote for a labour green government?

What we have said for the last few elections is that our preference has always been to govern with Labour because we see a much greater alignment on policy than with National and that is increasingly true.

Further the Trans Pacific Partnership agreement signed by New Zealand allows tobacco control which will enable the government to advance anti-smoking policies without facing legal risk.

Labour are making moves that make it a lot easier to govern with

Winston Peters is convinced that “All they care about is money grabbing, and

them and National have been doing a lot that makes it even harder

smokers are an easy target.” If you are a student who smokes, then you’re probably

than it would have been say a term or two ago to govern with them.

going to be contributing cash towards the $1.62 billion of smoking tax dollars. On

If we’re looking at 2017 then, realistically, the chances that we would

top of massive student loan debts, rent, food bills, managing study and work, your

end up as a partner to National are tiny versus Labour which would

pastime where you could get away from all your troubles will become much more

be much greater.

costly. You might as well quit.

5

NEXUS MAGAZINE News

NEWS HEADS, SHOULDERS, BRAINS AND HANDS INTERVIEW BY BRITTANY ROSE

Mahonri Owen is in his sixth year here at University of Waikato and he’s

brain would create a sense of belonging between the prosthetic and amputee.

studying engineering. Both his undergraduate Bachelor’s and his Master’s

The potential for positive impact is huge. We aren’t just looking at amputees

degree are in mechanical engineering and now he’s doing what he can to

only, in the future this could impact a number of neuromuscular and nervous

create innovative solutions fusing minds and technology for the benefit of

system disorders.

humankind. We thought the sci-fi vibe of it all was pretty cool so we asked him a few questions about his project.

Who will benefit the most from this advancement in technology?

The immediate benefit from my research will be amputees. This type of

Why did you pick this field as an area to study/work in?

technology is far reaching and is highly debated around the world. I think that

It just seemed like an area I would like to work in. I have since grown to really love

this technology will eventually have an effect on most people, if not everyone!

engineering and the ability it has given me to help people.

How is the project going? Are you finding success?

Why Waikato?

The project has been really fun so far and keeps me interested. It is challenging

It’s where I grew up and where my family is. My wife and her family are from

but has been worth it. Success is coming, slowly but surely. I am confident that

around here too.

I will reach my goal.

You're doing some work on a brain-controlled electro-mechanical prosthetic

What is your end goal?

hand — in layman's terms, can you explain what the heck that is all about?

To help as many people as I can and to make a platform where others can build

I’ll give it a go…Your brain is always giving off signals. I am trying to capture those

on what I have done. If everyone adds their ideas and makes what I have done

signals and use them to move prosthetic hands.

better then I will feel that I have made a difference.

Why is this significant?

What will success look like?

The research has the potential to restore limb function for amputees in a way

I think seeing people use the hand and its system for control and become excited

that is intuitive to control. There have been a lot of prosthetics made that are not

about it. Having amputees use and love having a limb again. That would be a

successful because of the way they are controlled. Controlling prosthetics by the

great feeling.

6

N.12 / V.48

HAMILTON

News NEXUS MAGAZINE

SPORTS OPINION MAN, U STUFFED UP FREDDY WALKER

SPORTS OPINION STEINLAGER SERIES TOM COLLOPY

It was announced recently that Manchester United have successfully signed Jose Mourinho as their manager. As a Liverpool fan, I was delighted with this news. Mourinho is a

On the 29th of May the Chairman of New Zealand Rugby, Brent Impey, announced the All Blacks Squad for the upcoming three-test Steinlager Series against Wales in three successive weekends. There was always going to be great anticipation

narcissist, a man who is simply out for his own benefit and has no thought towards helping others. He left Chelsea a shell of a club it once was, and he will do the same with United.

leading into the first All Blacks Squad announcement of 2016 following the

United fans should be extremely worried. By their own high

departure of several experienced players with over 770 test caps between them,

standards, they didn’t have a great season. Winning the FA

after their 2015 World Cup triumph.

Cup managed to hide the blunder of not finishing in a Europe

Steve Hansen, Grant Fox and Ian Foster have selected a 32 man squad consisting of 18 forwards and 14 backs. Tawera Kerr-Barlow and Sam Whitelock are still carrying injuries leading into the first test so Hurricanes halfback TJ Perenara

qualification spot but overall Louis van Gaal, now ex-manager, did have to go. But unbelievably, bringing in Mourinho was where United have stuffed up most of all this season.

and Highlanders lock Tom Franklin have been named as injury replacements.

Looking back at Chelsea, it would be wrong to say Mourinho did

Also named in the squad are six new caps who may make their debuts during

nothing right. He brought to light Eden Hazard who is now a

the course of this series. These players being Ofa Tu’ungafasi, Elliot Dixon, Ardie

world renowned player. In saying that, Hazard was terrible this

Savea, Liam Squire, Seta Tamanivalu and Damian McKenzie. It’s also great to see

season, but there is no doubt the quality that Mourinho found in

the likes of Israel Dagg, Aaron Cruden and Patrick Tuipulotu back in the All Blacks

him. He also won trophies, notably the Premier League in 2015.

squad after missing out on the World Cup Squad last year due to injury and Lima Sopoaga who was unlucky to miss out.

But where Mourinho was really, really horrid was in his treatment of youth players. He is infamous for stunting the growth of

The first test of the series will be held at Eden Park this Saturday (at the time of

potential stars. For United, there is plenty of these who thrived

writing). In an interview with Jeff Wilson, Ian Jones and Justin Marshall after the

under van Gaal. The recent English debutant Marcus Rashford,

squad naming, Steve Hansen said that he would be selecting an experienced team

Dutch starlet Memphis Depay and Frenchman Anthony Martial

for the first test. I think this is due to the fact that he would like the new caps and

are the big names and they all may crumble under Mourinho.

less experienced players to have an extra week or two in the All Black environment

Not to mention a plethora of other young players with potential

before giving them an opportunity to pull on the Black Jersey.

that United have in their youth academy. Each of these players

Wales will be travelling to New Zealand looking to beat the All Blacks for the first time in 62 years. They also will be looking to beat the All Blacks for the first time in

should be a little tentative with Mourinho around — first team action could be very hard to get.

NZ since they’ve lost by an average of 34 points in the seven games played here.

More than just football-related however, Mourinho’s attitude is

They suffered a setback in their build up to the series with a 27-13 loss to England

terrible. He is theatrical, and he is known to believe in the referees

at Twickenham but they had a decent Six Nations campaign and I doubt Steve

being against him personally. Watch as United supporters

Hansen will be taking them lightly.

become more unbearable than ever — they already think they

Given Steve Hansen’s comments and injury doubts, my line up for the first test would be: 1. Wyatt Crocket, 2. Dane Coles, 3. Owen Franks, 4. Luke Romano,

are the best team in the world. Now they will have every excuse under the sun when they lose.

5. Brodie Retallick, 6. Jerome Kaino, 7. Sam Cane, 8. Kieran Read (c), 9. Aaron

Jose Mourinho could easily bring United success in the short

Smith, 10. Aaron Cruden, 11. Julian Savea, 12. Ryan Crotty, 13. Malakai Fekitoa,

term. A trophy here, a trophy there could see the fans appeased

14. Waisake Naholo, 15. Ben Smith, 16. Codie Taylor, 17. Charlie Faumuina, 18.

at the signing of “the Special One”. But watch out United fans,

Joe Moody, 19. Patrick Tuipulotu, 20. Ardie Savea, 21. TJ Perenara, 22. Beauden

your team will begin parking buses left right and centre and your

Barrett, 23. Israel Dagg.

club will go the same way as Chelsea.

7

SEMESTER A REPORT CARD CLUBS 76

76 Clubs* attended WSU Clubs Day

50 Clubs have affiliated in 2016

1

ADVOCACY 155 4

155 Advocacy cases including 35 Instances of emergency financial assistance 4 Faculties hosting in-school clinics

1 From Tauranga

17 Foodbank parcels distributed

138 Bookings for rooms, equipment or vehicles

23 Students saw Community Law

WHAT HAVE WE DONE? • The WSU is committed to the goal of a sustainable University and we

WHAT WE HAVE NOTICED Most academic complaints are able to be resolved within 7 days.

have been working with our network of clubs to promote and develop

What we have noticed is that tenancy issues remain prominent while

that understanding, and ways we can embrace sustainability for our clubs.

incidents of alleged plagiarism are steadily rising. On top of that there are

• We have a full and complete website section complete with a clubs manual.

growing trends of student homelessness and hunger becoming prevalent

• We crushed a number of events including ORI 2016, Volley Days,

again which is a concern in winter. The WSU has made several minor

International Day and provided free food with the Gardeners Club and

changes to combat growing demand in the service one of which is to create

other soup and BBQ options.

positions for four volunteer advisors who can help students out and offer

• We have hosted two Clubs Mixers with guest speakers and re-worked all our forms and processes to make things easier for you.

advice where an advocate may not be needed. We also have Joe in Tauranga doing a few hours a week to help ensure the people who need help the most get help. We have also persevered with our roster of clinics which

WHAT WE WANT TO DO?

now includes Community Law, Employment, Budgeting, and Post-Graduate

It’s time for bold thinking around our clubs and societies network. How

Wednesday, pickup Thursday.)

studies as well as our in school clinics and $11 fruit and veggie packs (pay

come some faculties have a large faculty endorsed club and others have none? Why do we not have enough spaces and resources for our musicians and performance spaces for our roopu and dance groups? Why can we

WHAT WE WANT TO DO?

not guarantee our religious clubs a safe and quiet space to pray? More

The WSU wants to really think about the next semester and the long term plan

importantly why are we the only University without a large and full featured

for students. In Advocacy that is going to be about reverse engineering. We

clubs and societies building?

want to start with the big unimpeachable goals, like not wanting our students

Other than that some new trestle tables would be nice.

going hungry, and work backwards from there. By the time we get to the annual plan and AGM we want to be in a place where we can say we have an idea and we have the support and feedback from students. We also need to

* Includes 16 sports clubs managed by UOW Sports

apply this model across the board and tackle issues like homelessness, study preparation, course loads, tenancy, feedback, ratemyflat.co.nz....

It’s going to be a busy few months.

CARE NEXUS MAGAZINE

We did it! We finished a full semester and while we can’t speak for the rest of you some of us are off to get drunk on a beach. Before we go though, we thought we would hand in our end of semester report card so you can see the awesome work we have done. For more check out www.wsu.org.nz

REPRESENTATION Our push for ‘Anonymity of exam scripts’ through the Academic Board.

3

EXPERIENCE $

$493.45 Spent on hot drinks in Level Zero

3 new sub committees (Academic, Strategy & Consultation, Director Development)

18,000 Copies of Nexus produced

We have re-joined NZUSA

1,286 Games of Fifa 16 played at Level Zero

The Big Inter-Union Hui

1

1 Kickass Burgerfuel heli-drop

WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

WHAT HAVE WE DONE?

While some staff members wanted to call it the Big Random Sleepover, the

This has been one of the most active and exciting periods in Students’ Union

Inter-Union Hui was a massive and meaningful success and kicked off what

history. The WSU is committed to enhancing the student experience and in

may be one of the more productive period for student representation in

order to achieve that we have lined up our most effective group of experience

recent history. It also gave the WSU a new perspective on the challenges

partners including BurgerFuel, Dominos, Bar101, The Outback, Leap, Coke,

we face and the universal nature of the issues students are confronted with.

Hamilton City Council and Pakn’Save. We did it all for you (and occasionally

In Semester A the WSU was able to: rejoin NZUSA, host a conference that

free burgers) so we could ensure Uni life is never boring again. So whether it

lead the debate about student welfare, create closer ties with students from

has been BurgerFuel dropping stuff out of a helicopter, Jase & PJ dropping

the Wintec, develop sub-committees, focus on a new strategic direction and

chicken salt or Stan Walker dropping the mic after an amazing set on the

develop productive relationships with the University and other stakeholders.

Village Green the WSU and Nexus have been there to make things cool.

Our directors have worked tirelessly on projects like Thursdays in Black and the Mauis Fin Run; while Hana and Will have developed projects such as our new 3 year strategic plan and the development of a new club noticeboard

WHAT WE WANT TO DO?

and management system that may be available next year. Indula has been

Most of the Semester A report has eluded to a plan or a vision. The one

amazing with Indula’s Got You Covered, a donation of 10 guitars for music

for experience is simple... We need to make some big changes, change the

lessons and the soon to be unveiled Inter-Faculty Sports competition.

approach and deliver the services you know and love in exciting new ways

All of this has been underpinned by the fantastic partnership between the board and our professional staff who have indulged every idea and helped at every turn.

in strange new places. It’s going to be an adventure and we are looking forward to starting the consultation period with you so please got to the WSU Facebook and keep checking in. We want to hear from you.

WHAT WE WANT TO DO? • Create and trial things we think will benefit students like cheap frozen meals and vegetarian food.

• Release our vision for the WSU and get your feedback, talk to interested parties, do surveys and develop a plan.

• Question whether we are representative enough of all students.

• Produce a Re-Orientation.

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JASE & PJ

WEEKDAYS 3 -7PM ZMONLINE.COM

NEXUS MAGAZINE

THEATRE DUST PILGRIM GEORGIA POLLOCK

Where: Gallagher Performing arts centre When: June 23rd- 24th From Red Leap Theatre Company comes the incredible tale of a young woman’s fight for freedom. Auckland based theatre company, Red Leap, have never toured to Hamilton before, but this seems like the perfect show to start on. It is an intense piece of physical theatre, featuring just three actors.

The company premiered the piece in Auckland in 2015. They spent two weeks devising, and a further six weeks rehearsing to create this spectacular piece of art.

Before this tour, they had an extra three weeks of rehearsal. It would be a veritable tragedy to miss all the hard work that they’ve put into this piece of theatre.

Whether you’re a theatre major, an English major, a music major, or you’re just interested in the wonderful work that’s coming out of the world of art, this show is bound to please. Artistic director, Julie Nolan, says “It’s not only interesting from

FOOD BURGERFUEL

an arts point of view, it’s also engaging from a literature point of view, from a design point of view and if you’re into music, the original score by award winning designer Thomas Press is amazing!” She describes the show as “Theatrical, unique,

DAVE TAYLOR

and unmissable.”

Exams for us Waikato students will be coming to a close during the Hamilton season

Burgerfuel used to exist somewhere outside of the ‘fast food’

of Dust Pilgrim, so I would highly encourage you all to get along to this world-class

spectrum. Like Hell in the late 90s/early 2000s, it was considered

piece of theatre before heading home for the holidays. You can buy tickets and

the slightly fancier, ‘destination’ alternative to the chain-eating

watch a trailer on the Waikato University website, at just $19 for a student.

of Pizza Hut and McDonalds. Good to know that their franchising and ongoing expansion has done no damage to the unique kiwi street-and-student charm.

A bubbly young woman serves us on a steady Tuesday night. and within ten minutes we’re handed our to-go bag.

FILM DRIVE

The chocolate shake was malty and rich to the last, and thick

TE WAIARANGA RATANA

She’s friendly and easy to hear over the hiss of the grill plates,

enough to give my cheekbones a workout. With their crisp coating the fat Smash Browns — potato hash bites — were a heavier alternative to fries, but well worth it for the Marmite

Directed By: Nicolas Winding Refn

aioli which looked like mayo whipped with shit but had just

Starring: Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan, Oscar Isaac

enough B12 and brewer’s yeast Marmite saltiness to counter the aioli’s oiliness.

Drive is not the typical action getaway heist film that the trailer and marketing seem to promote it as. Rather, this gem is a character piece focusing on the personal

Blue Velvet is the latest burger and well worth the ticket: free-

journey and moral ambiguity of Ryan Gosling’s character, the Driver. The Driver is

range venison, blue cheese, blackcurrant & red onion preserve.

a driver, a no named lead who leads a double life: stunt work for Hollywood by day

Venison’s a curious meat; gamey, rich, and offset by the preserve

and getaway work for criminals by night. We see these elements in the neo-noir

that had the sweetness of jam and the bright, urgent tang of

thriller; but what is more important is the relationship the driver forms with his

relish. The Puhoi blue mellows the final creamy bites with its

neighbour, Irene (Mulligan) and her son.

blue bouquet. Were it not for the dribble of some sort of juice from the burger — maybe the water used to clean the very crisp lettuce — and the messy finish I’d have given it a top score.

From a technical point of filmmaking, Drive succeeds on so many levels, with crisp cinematography, an amazing score and soundtrack and wonderful imagery with dialogue and a story that is only bolstered by its strong cast, lead by Gosling’s

My companion has the Bacon Backfire, low-carb (replace the

silent strong type lead. I can’t recommend Drive enough, it's a film that will leave

bun with lettuce) which she says is well-balanced, crisp and

you hanging on wanting more and that is my only legitimate problem with it. The

tender. It’s an upmarket BLT with chicken (free range), and she

film leaves so much open and many questions unanswered. But that fact does not

finishes it without looking like an aioli bomb’s gone off between

distract from the pure cinematic gold that Drive is, definitely check this one out if

her teeth.

you haven’t already.

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N.12 / V.48

HAMILTON

Reviews NEXUS MAGAZINE

TV SHOW ARCHER JARED WOOLDRIDGE

Looking for a new comedy to watch? Try Archer. An adult animated spy comedy, it’s currently halfway through its seventh season on air, and still going strong.

Revolving around the lives of the members of spy agency ISIS (they had the name before it was unpopular), follow on as the characters (mostly) save the day, have a large amount of sex and liquor, fight cyborgs, and become drug smugglers. All in a day’s work.

Pretty much every character is a standout as well (except Cyril, what a dork), in particular the gross Pam, the very unstable Cheryl/Carol, and the alcoholic, misogynistic, sarcastic and narcissistic Sterling Archer, who’s basically the James Bond of the show. Joining them are possible Hitler clones and one character who gets paralysed all the time, so it’s safe to say that this show isn’t for the easily offended. It goes to some dark, dark places, and I’m not just talking about outer space.

While the show pulls a lot of humour away from the mere absurdity of what they

FILM THE NICE GUYS JARED WOOLDRIDGE

do, the real stars are the running gags, the recurring jokes that pop up all over the place. Whether you’re in the “danger zone”, or it’s poorly phrased sentences, the plight of poor Brett, or just how gross Pam is, there is no escaping them. As with all comedies, there are some jokes that don’t land, and some episodes that aren’t quite as funny, but even after seven seasons, it’s still consistently good.

Now, I feel I must include a disclaimer here: unless you actually want to go see this movie, and are a fan of buddy cop action movies like Lethal Weapon or Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, you probably won’t like The Nice Guys. I loved it, but the four particularly apt, seeing as it’s written and directed by Shane

PLAYLIST CLASSICAL INTIMATE DINNER

Black, the writer for Lethal Weapon, who specialises in neo-

LYAM BUCHANAN

others I went with did not. The Lethal Weapon comparison is

noir buddy cop action comedies.

Given this is the 70’s in Hollywood, the film is steeped in all the glitz and glamour of the period, and the porn. There is a lot of porn. 1977 was the Golden Age of Pornography after all, and that’s where the story finds traction, with the investigation of the death of a porn star, Misty Mountains, by alcoholic private invesigator Holland March (Ryan Gosling) and private enforcer Jackson Healy (Russell Crowe). And because March is a terrible father, his young daughter Holly (Angourie Rice) also helps out, and becomes one of the movies secret weapons.

The Nice Guys looks fantastic, the 70’s is recreated lavishly and perfectly, in all its seedy and gross glory. Being a Shane Black film though, what would usually be a straightforward crime film becomes something else with a twist on the usual characters, reminiscent of how he did it in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. It’s funny and humorous in places, with Gosling, Crowe

Every family has special traditions. Some people play board games on a Wednesday night or have the whole family around for a BBQ on a Sunday afternoon; some even have special spooning sessions with Dad while Mum’s out doing the groceries. I don’t want to know what your family does with the curtains pulled; all I need to know is that I’ve made a difference. I need to know that from this day forth, each and every family dinner you have is as intimate as possible.

Luckily Spotify has everything you need to turn your cheeks rosy and fill your heart with joy, the Classical Intimate Dinner playlist is the next step you need in pursuing the Gloriavale lifestyle you’ve always dreamed of.

Some may say this playlist was designed for socially challenged, middle aged men who are so desperate for love they’re trying the sophisticated approach. However soothing compositions such as ‘Nocturne No.2 in E flat, Op.6 No.2’, by Frèdèric Chopin and Maurizio Pollini, shouldn’t be wasted on feeble attempts at finding love. Moments like these should be spent with your family. Grab an old photo album and gather around the fireplace, let this piece set the mood.

and especially Angourie Rice playing off each other, but it’s

The immobilising beauty of “String Quartet No. 2 in F Major, Op. 41, No. 2: II.

not a straight comedy. Really, I can only recommend this if

Andante quasi Variazioni”, composed by Robert Schumann and the Fine Arts

you’re already a fan. And if you are, don’t drag along four

Quartet, can only be appreciated in full at a romantic candlelit dinner with those

others with you.

you hold dearest. These pieces should focus your energy on the lust you have for the love of your siblings and the craving you have for your Father's Fragrance.

Holla at ya boy Spotify and let the intimacy flow free.

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COVERED NICK OSBORNE Age: 22 Occupation: Student / Freelance Graphic Designer Hamilton local?

Auckland.

What was your creative process for our Hamilton cover?

I started out by creating birdâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s eye view illustrations of areas around Hamilton. Once I was happy with that I used a little Illustrator magic to warp the perspective of these areas, then I started to raise all the shapes out of the ground and added details to give more personality. Illustration usually isn't my strong point but I enjoyed the trial and error of the process.

What mediums do you tend to work in and why?

I've always really enjoyed photography and using Photoshop to create digital collages. It's something I've always just enjoyed doing ever since I first got my hands on a camera. There are so many ways to break and remake an image.

Describe your style in three words.

OCD, Simple, Abstract Where can people find you online? www.behance.net/nick-o17c8f9 Would you rather drink only Waikato Draught, or bathe exclusively in the Waikato River for a month?

I'm told there's actually some pretty nice spots along the Waikato to swim, so I'm gonna go with that. Â&#x2014;

Arts NEXUS MAGAZINE

ARTS DELETED SCENES FOR LOVERS PETER DORNAUF

The best writers in the business know how to use language,

black disaster of it bursting out of the flat land”. This is

aware that words are loaded guns. They know how to

equally deft, satiric and poignant, in the context of the story,

manipulate the linguistic dialects, squeeze the semantic

all in the same breath.

juices, freshen it up and make it come out fizzing with surprises.

into poetry. Of the dead daughter, we get the following

author, Don De Lillo, who at the peak of his powers amply

from the mother: “She is dug down, my girl, packed into

demonstrates his wordsmith skills in novels like White Noise

angles, lonely and awkward, her limbs shovelled into the

and The Underworld. Reading him, one almost forgets the

snow.” There is pared back quality and a detached clinical

story, caught up as one is in the dance of the language.

observation that becomes a mask for repressed emotion

is emerging New Zealand writer, our own Tracey Slaughter.

She reveals this in her newly released collection of short stories, called, Deleted Scenes for Lovers. The title itself is

RICHARD SWAINSON

concentration of apt description turns the prose at times

One of the best in the business at his best is American

Another who demonstrates her acute facility with the pen

AUTEUR IAN WATKIN: CHARACTER ACTOR

The intensity Slaughter achieves in her writing and the

that one finds in some of her other stories. Every word is weighed and the balance comes out right. The reading of these works can’t be rushed. They are the sort that reward a second and third look.

ripe with suggestion and sardonic nuance. One only needs

Her achievements with language are realised in her ability

to read one of her stories, like a work entitled ‘Leaving the

to use words in unfamiliar juxtapositions that elevate the

Body’, to realise this is a strikingly new voice on the scene.

ordinary while still being a description of the mundane.

The story itself is slight, albeit dense with taut feelings and

Closely observed with a sharp eye for detail, the stories

emotion. A mother waits to collect and confront a dead

often present in an abbreviated telling, where judicious

daughter who has died on some snow-capped mountain

withholding of information is employed... potent phrases

expedition. But the language and the telling is top-shelf. It’s

also add to the mix as in, “murder set to music”, a description

almost put together like a cubist painting. Describing the

of a children’s TV cartoon, in another work.

mountain, she writes — “it’s tough, tourist pose, the sharp

A writer to watch.

When the modern New Zealand film industry got under

Of course the man's sexuality has little to do with his

way in the late 1970s a slew of character actors quickly

professional career. He debuted in Sleeping Dogs, the

established themselves. Grant Tilly, Bruce Allpress, Ken

feature film that could be thought the foundation stone

Blackburn, John Bach and Don Selwyn cropped up in just

of the modern industry. Playing Dudley, the fish’n’chip

about everything.

proprietor who moonlights as a freedom fighter, Watkin

For me there was one character actor who had an edge over the others. He was a big boy with a naughty glint in his eye, a man of both screen presence and comic timing. His name was Ian Watkin and he died in Australia on May the 18th.

Watkin's name lent itself to an unfortunate confusion. There was another gentleman of almost exactly the same moniker active in New Zealand broadcasting at the same time. Ian Watkins was a lot older than Ian Watkin and he was of an entirely different stripe. Watkins was devoutly religious and best known for fronting a weekly television series of hymns and homilies on a Sunday morning. Watkin was a homosexual, without a religious bone in his body. He was keen on muscular or at least youthful lovers and didn't mind paying for it if necessary. Given his beefy physique, I suspect it was necessary more often that not. Ian Watkin kept a lot of rent boys in rent money.

makes an instant impression. Dudley's a sympathetic presence and the audience really feels it when he’s dispatched by the fascist authorities.

Watkin had small but always interesting parts in Middle Age Spread, Bad Blood, Goodbye Pork Pie, Utu and Death Warmed Up. It wasn't until 1992 though that he found a role equal to his talent: Uncle Les in Peter Jackson's masterpiece Brain Dead, the last and best of Jackson's early splatter movies. Appealing to the actor's sleazier side, Les gets to utter the immortal line "I bet she'd go off like a rocket" when pawing the film's heroine — receiving a well placed knee to the groin for his troubles — and later proves himself a dab hand with a pair of pliers, some pruning shears and two meat cleavers, reducing sundry zombies to a pile of quivering, disembodied limbs. It’s New Zealand acting at its finest.

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE WE’RE GOING TO THE ZOO, ZOO, ZOO! JARED WOOLDRIDGE

CHIMPANZEES, 4/5 But the chimps! While the male chimps had their packages on full display, the real treat came inside, in their sleeping quarters. There were a couple of chimpanzees cruising around, including one mommy chimpanzee with a baby wrapped around her! I thought the red pandas were cute, nothing beats baby animals. Four out of five for our distant relatives.

After wandering through a bunch of ducks (twos and threes, unless you like that sort of thing) and a tortoise (one star, nothing like they were in Finding Nemo) [Editor’s Note: Yeah, because it was actually a turtle, not a tortoise] we got back onto the big stuff.

As you’ll have seen on our Snapchat story (@nexusmag), Jared and Brittany went to Hamilton Zoo. Jared, having never been to a zoo before was an

AFRICAN HUNTING DOGS, 4/5

excitable child. Brittany, having been to the zoo a lot for some reason found

The African hunting dogs were quite fetching, with their interestingly patterned

herself spouting facts she didn’t even know she knew about monkeys vs apes

coats. They gave off a yip-yip laugh that was similar to what you expect from a

and kereru/wood pigeon. ‘Review’ + ‘zoo’ = make your own rhyming couplet.

hyena, while they give off quite an odd sight. For dogs, hunting on the plains, it was odd to see how skinny their legs were. But overall, the African hunting dog

Truth be told, I have been in Hamilton for nearly four years now, and in all that

gets a solid four out of five.

time, I had not once visited the zoo. But it was great! Did you know they have animals there? All sorts of animals! Some big, some small, it is all very rather

TIGERS, 4.5/5

exciting. However, as much as each animal was special in its own way (as I am

But the tiger! The Sumatran tiger! It was late in the day when we saw them (one

sure all of their parents have already told them), some were just superior and

of them was inside napping, it appeared), it was still just spectacular to see a real

better than the others. So, join me, as I review each of the animals I encountered

life tiger like that! Watching it pace back and forth, and seeing the paw marks it

during my visit to Hamilton Zoo.

left on the viewing screen, just goes to show what an awe inspiring creature it surely is. Four and a half out of five.

TUATARA, 4/5 First up we have the Tuatara House. At first it appeared as if they hated me,

GIRAFFES, 4/5

because neither of the two tuatara wanted to see me. As it turns out, I was just

As the zoo was closing soon, we ran to the giraffe enclosure. And run we did,

blind, and they were hiding all along. It was like a fun game of spot the reptile,

up a hill even, it was hard work, but we finally saw them. Unfortunately just as

which the entertainment value of that bumped my rating up a bit. I give these

they went inside to eat. We managed to spot one (geddit? Spot one) outside,

New Zealand natives a four out of five.

munching on a tree, and even that was enough to satisfy. Giraffes are just awesome, and being able to see one at all, just the tops. Four out of five.

RHINOCEROSES, 4/5 Next up were the big horny leather cows, or as the layman might know them, the

CHEETAHS, 0/5

Southern White Rhinoceros. The rhinos were definitely a draw, all big animals are

But, but, but, but, but, but, the low-point of the day, the cheetah’s. Now I’m

exciting. It was interesting, because the zoo kept piles of rocks in their enclosures

not a cheetah expert or anything, but I don’t think they’re invisible. It would

for them, the purpose of which was lost to me. My theory was they like to boomp

be horrifically terrific if they were, and would pose a greater threat to national

them around with their horns, but if anyone knows, please, write in. Another four

security than killer dolphins, but they aren’t, so zero out of five for you, cheetahs.

out of five for the Southern White Rhinos. Rhinos are cool.

MONKEYS (AND MEERKATS), 5/5 PARAKEETS, BITTERN, KEA & TUI 3/5

By now it was practically closing time, so we made a quick tour round a few of

A quick trip into the bird cagey thing next. Here we saw some birds, but I’ve

the remaining mammals. While we didn’t get to see everything during our super

seen birds before. Plus, they didn’t come to say hello, which was kind of rude,

cool zoo trip, the last few animals we saw were definite highlights. I’m talking the

definitely put me off a bit. However, there were still some pretty cool birds to

ring-tailed lemurs, the ruffed lemurs, the meerkats, the capuchin monkeys, the

see. There were a butt ton of parakeets, trying to hog all the attention, but we

spider monkeys, all playing in their enclosures. The ruffed lemurs were a treat

spotted a bird called a bittern. An endangered bird, it, much like all the other

to watch, climbing, jumping, playing everywhere, even swinging on the ropes, it

birds, managed to blend in pretty damn well, but we spotted it by the lake. If

was fantastic. The capuchin got into a bit of a fight when we got there though, it

I read the informational plank correctly, this is its natural habitat, in wetlands.

appeared as if one lil’ monkey didn’t want to share his little house with another

Apart from that, a few sleepy morepork and some very active kea, I give the

lil’ monkey, and so a pushing and shoving war ensued. Another capuchin thought

birds overall a three out of five. Two for the parakeets, I feel like we didn’t get off

that this would be a good time to join in the animal kingdom equivalent of Game

on the right foot.

of Thrones, but in the end, only one capuchin reigned supreme. Classic mammals, these guys all get five out of five, great way to end the day.

RED PANDAS, 5/5 The Red Pandas! We even got to see these lil’ guys operate their food mechanism thingy (excuse the science words) and munch down on some pears and bamboo

ARTWORK: NIKKOLE LULU

leaves. I do not know how these guys manage to sleep on the top branches of trees without falling off, but kudos to them, I was very impressed. We even came

Apart from getting bit by a mosquito, my first trip to Hamilton Zoo was a delight (no thanks to the cheetahs). We waved goodbye to the peacocks on our way out, and left to drive home in 5 o’clock traffic. While I may not be nature-y and science-y, animals are definitely awesome, and Hamilton Zoo was a great afternoon out.

back to see their adorable lil’ faces a second time. Five out of five. [Editor’s Note:

Head to facebook.com/NexusNZ and watch the full Snap story video, and add

Jared fell in love. It was adorable]

@nexusmag on Snapchat so you don’t miss out next time we do something cool.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

FEATURE TOP OF THE SHOPS BRONWYN LAUNDRY

Wanna know what cinema is the most private, biggest or comfiest? Wanna go shopping for cheap shoes because your jandals are worn through and sloshing through puddles is no fun? Never fear, Bronwyn, your friendly neighbourhood mallrat, set out on a mission to weigh up the pros and cons of Hamilton’s malls so that you don’t have to think.

WESTFIELD CHARTWELL (WESTFIELD GROUP) Ah, Chartwell, the forgotten older sibling of the shopping malls. At first glance you’ll be rolling your eyes at me going “Why is Chartwell even included in this?” but don’t disqualify Charty so soon!

Pros • The Memories. If you’re a native Hamiltonian and a #90sKid you’ll no doubt remember a Hamilton before The Base/Te Awa existed, where it was an ultimate symbol of cool if your mum let you go to late night at ‘Chartwell Square’. Not much shopping occurred; it was more about the prestige of being allowed to stay up until 9pm, wheeling each other around in shopping trolleys and taking super rebellious photos for your Bebo…

• The Parking. Kellis got it wrong, it’s not milkshakes that bring all the boys to the yard, it’s free parking. Chartwell has a reasonable amount of it, nice and close to the shopping mall itself. However, the turning direction is a spiral twist of misdirection — especially when the local elderly turn against the signage.

• The Shopping. Charty has a pretty good mix of shops, they aren’t as big as The Base/Te Awa, but there’s a great variety and lots of shops you won’t find at The Base. Unless you want tech — mind you Dick Smith is dead anyway.

• The Food Court. It’s massive and has a Donburi place. There’s also a supermarket in the mall and it’s spread out so you have the option of hiding away from the crowds at the Coffee Club downstairs or one of the many cafes.

• The Movies. Good old Event, it used to be the biggest, bestest place in H-Town for movies. Then Hoyts Te Awa came in and knocked them off their throne. But, they still have bigger seats at Event, and you’re more likely to be able to get a ticket to a brand new movie at Chartwell if it’s all sold out at Hoyts. What student has the money for that Lux thing at Hoyts anyway? I’ll stick to sneaking in mini bottles of Lindauer rather than paying through the roof for them, thank you very much.

Cons • The Location. If you don’t live in Chartwell or its neighbouring suburbs, it can feel kind of counter-intuitive to drive all the way to a mall that isn’t even branded as the best. Mind you, travelling Wairere Dr from Uni puts it closer than The Base.

• The Shopping. Despite having a good variety, Charty has a bunch of random shops you don’t need, and misses a lot of the ones you do need to have a fully satisfactory shopping experience. What the fuck is Emma Rose anyway?

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HAMILTON

Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

• The Layout. This is a given with most malls but I always feel like I’ve walked

CBD: CENTREPLACE & TOWN (KIWI PROPERTY TRUST)

500 miles just to get from Farmers to Whitcoulls. And there are strictly too

Ahh the Hamilton CBD, a beacon of culture and heritage resplendent with a

many escalators.

statue of Riff Raff and a… giant lego block outside the museum? Let’s explore

Ranking

how Centreplace stacks up against it’s younger, shinier siblings.

Last. Sorry Charty, you just don’t cut the mustard for me. You do get mega points

Pros

for having the last surviving Urban Angel in Hamilton, but as my friend pointed

• The Memories. Who doesn’t cherish the memories of walking out of

out on the weekend “I forgot people actually choose to go to Chartwell, because

Centreplace on a Sunday to go to the shop formerly known as Trendez and

I never choose to go to Chartwell.”

get a new $20 piercing to hide from your mum? Walking through the clouds of smoke generated by the infamous “GP Emo Kidz”. Also, Garden Place’s

THE BASE/TE AWA (TAINUI GROUP HOLDINGS)

brick wall was fucking iconic.

The Base/Te Awa is Hamilton’s crowning glory of shopping malls, it prides

• The Shopping. What you can’t find in Centreplace you can sure as shit find

itself on being the biggest in the North Island, but is bigger always better?

somewhere else in town. Also, it’s the only place in H-Town with decent

Let’s find out…

makeup counters. MAC MAC MAC MAC MAC.

Pros

• The K-Mart. Again, not technically in Centreplace, but it is a two minute walk

• The Shopping. The shops are massive, and they have all the standard places

and it does offer free parking. Not as big or wonderful as Te Rapa’s, but still

you’d need for a retail therapy binge. Also plays host to a formerly Dress-

worth a mention. Plus, the Night Markets are nice if you’re cheap and want

Smart, now Base Outlet store which I guess some people are into.

some petrol fumes with your dumplings/churros dinner combo.

• The K-Mart. If you’d told my 10 year old self that one day K-Mart would be

• The Culture. Town is actually pretty cool if you stop drinking the Haterade

cool and I wouldn’t be embarrassed to be rocking a head to toe K-Mizzle

for a minute and appreciate, and it’s really nice to be able to get out of the

outfit, I’d have thought you were crazy. But it’s 2016 and here I am judging

mall and easily walk to a restaurant/café/park that isn’t overcrowded.

a mall by its close proximity to none other than the mighty K-Mart. I know it’s not technically in The Base or Te Awa, but you have to admit how handy it is to be so close.

• The Parking. Yet again, free parking comes out on top again. Who would have thought that making it free to park would actually attract people to your mall? Much cool very wow. Good luck finding a park on the weekend though — you’ll be weaving up and down those aisles avoiding screaming children and pedestrians who believe they’re vehicles.

Cons • The Shopping. Sorely lacking some pretty essential places, for example Kiwibank. I don’t understand why they got rid of the Kiwibank? As a CBD, you can’t really get away with this. [Editor’s Note: They’re building one on Victoria St] • The Location. Well, I mean, it is the CBD. • The Movies. Metro to say the least, is not the best. I’m sorry but those theatres are tiny and if you’re paying for a movie ticket in the 21st century

Cons

then the screen better be bigger than your average household flatscreen.

• The Food Court. It’s pretty average. For the size of the mall it’s pretty small

But sometimes you can get the whole theatre to yourself — perfect for

and the best food places are on The Base side, not in the Te Awa mall. I’m not walking all the way across to The Base in the rain for some St Pierre’s Sushi of the Day. No Sirree.

blowies on a first date, or not.

• The Food Court. It’s pretty tiny, Oporto is the slowest fast food in the world, the kebabs are meagre and sauceless (and Kebabs Salateen of Ward St

• The Shopping. They actually don’t have that great a variety. Sometimes I’ll

closed due to something related to tax or fraud or something), but is kind of

find myself driving all the way back into town for a shop that isn’t in the

rescued by the Mexicali. A Nexus writer works in the food court though, and

Biggest, Bestest Shopping Mall in Hamilton! The scandal.

we hear that if you find her, spin in three circles and quote her column pull

• The People. No, this isn’t a dig at the staff, I used to rep that Base lanyard

quotes from 2015 she’ll grant you a wish.

myself. It’s the sheer amount of people that are there at all times. The

• The Parking. This is to be expected of a CBD anywhere but even so, Centreplace

unrelenting crowds that making just popping into Lush for a bath bomb

has the weirdest rules ever for parking. I’ve bought so much shit from Equip/

almost unbearable.

Diva/Lovisa just to get free parking and I don’t even wear jewellery.

• The Layout. Raise your hand if you’ve ever been so lazy that you moved your car from under Te Awa over to The Base, just to avoid the long walk.

• The Location. We get it, you’re big, you need lots of space, but who actually lives in Te Rapa?

Ranking Winner, winner chicken dinner! Town will always win for me, I may get hate, their parking may royally suck, their movies may be rubbish, but town has soul and personality, something malls are usually lacking in.

Ranking Runner-Up. Let’s be real here, The Base/Te Awa probably deserves the top spot,

So there it is, a totally unbiased, not at all fuelled by my own agenda, guide to the

but I just can’t bring myself to give it to them. Call me a raving hippie, but big

malls of the mighty Hamilton. Have fun being a slave to consumerism just like me,

corporation, you will never take me alive!

and happy shopping. Btw, I will accept bribes next time.

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Feature

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Feature NEXUS MAGAZINE

FEATURE FIELDFREEBIEDAYS ONYX LILY

of the event after that, where you get to check out food, home and lifestyle stuff and all that As Seen On TV junk that can cut through a lead pipe but still slice a tomato without bruising it. It’s really hard to imagine the sheer size of Fieldays until you’ve experienced it, so treat your first visit as an exploration. Just make sure you know how to get back to your car at the end.

There are events held throughout Fieldays as well, including dog shows, tractor pull, the Ag Art Wear show, and, of course, the Rural Bachelor of the Year 2016 competition. Art and Jordan would have no chance against these rugged

Fieldays (obnoxiously spelt with a single ‘d’) changes Hamilton. High Schools

specimens of rural NZ manhood.

seem to just give everyone a day off, no questions asked. Blokes in ugly red plaid pop up all over the show, every second shopper in town seems to be

SUSS OUT THE BEST FREEBIES

wearing gumboots without an ounce of irony, and your younger brother

The key to a successful Fieldays is finding the best freebies. There will always be

brings home from Mystery Creek a piece of orange pipe which he calls ‘The

one freebie that’s more desirable than all the others — you’ll know because you’ll

Encouragement Stick’. He then hits you with the orange pipe and demands

see all the high schoolers wandering around with it. You may not know why you

you do shit like bring him a glass of water. Or not. Onyx Lily praises Fieldays

want that yellow plastic spade, Fonterra-branded hi-vis vest, photo of yourself

for the freebies, and offers sage advice on attendance below.

in a giant fridge, or calf ear tag with your name printed on it, you just know you have to have it. Sometimes it’s hard to figure out where the best freebies are

It’s June (seriously, where is the year going?) and anyone with even a smidgen

coming from. It’s generally acceptable to corner a twelvie and ask them where

of Waikato in them (blood, not Draught) knows what that means: it’s Fieldays

they got the loot. Again, it’s best to do this early as otherwise they’ll be gibbering

time! The experienced among you will no doubt be dusting off your Redbands,

from all the sugar from mini hot donuts and free lollies.

chucking on a Swannie and preparing yourselves for a day or two of farming fun.

But if you’re new to the Waikato or simply haven’t made it to Fieldays yet (for shame!), you might not know that Fieldays is not just for farmers. Seriously, I’m vegetarian, and I’ve been to Fieldays every year for the last 5 years. So for all you newbies, townies and doubters, here’re a few tips to help you get the most out of your Fieldays experience.

GET THERE EARLY Fieldays 2016 runs from Wednesday 15th – Saturday 18th June. Friday and Saturday are the busiest days, and Saturday is commonly known as “townie day”.

But even if you pull a sickie and go during the week, be prepared for more traffic on Mystery Creek Rd than you’d find on SH1 heading out of Auckland at 5pm on a Friday. The gates open at 8am, and I always get there by 7.30 to beat the hordes.

That way you can park within walking distance of the gate, and standing on top of the ridge looking out over the whole of Fieldays is pretty spectacular, even if you are freezing your nuts off. It is much huger than you think it is, and you can easily spend a whole day there, so getting in early also gives you the best value out of your $20 ticket.

EAT YOUR OWN WEIGHT IN FREE SAMPLES My personal first port of call is the Kiwi’s Best Kitchen and the Lifestyle Marquee.

Two words. Free. Samples. While there is plenty of tasty food on sale at various places around the Fieldays arena, a canny and budget conscious attendee can pretty much get their fill with judicious attention to the free samples on offer.

Breads and chutneys, salami, liquorice, hot food, cold food, coffee, and of course alcohol in every shape and form (including the Limoncello guys. I love them) are all on offer in tiny free portions. Similarly, if you’re getting a bit tired or sore of foot, hustle over to the massage machine guys, and get a free test of that. I usually feel a tiny bit of guilt sampling all the things I know I never intended to buy, but hey, the samples are there to be eaten, and a smile and a thank you are all that’s really required.

DRESS FOR THE WEATHER Being held in June, there’s a pretty high chance that it will be cold or raining or both on the day you go to Fieldays. I’ve been lucky enough to avoid the most torrential days, but the ground can get pretty mucky regardless. If you arrive early it will be freezing, but it warms up as the day goes on, and inside the

If you don’t manage to haul your lazy ass out of bed that early, pack snacks

pavilions it’s crowded and sweaty, so the key is in wearing light layers. You’ll

for the car — you may be in it a while. Fieldays runs a shuttle from the furthest

want a comfy backpack to stash your discarded layers, as dropping them back

carparks to the gate. There are also free buses from Hamilton and surrounding

to the car is unlikely to be an option. Boots are good, gummies if you have them

areas if you can show your Fieldays ticket.

and they’re comfy, but anything water resistant will do. I always stash a change of gear in the car just in case it’s completely horrendous — nothing worse than

FIND YOUR ZONE

sitting in traffic, soggy and miserable, fogging up the windscreen with the

Fieldays is huge, so print yourself out a map, and plan your attack carefully. If

steaming damp of your clothes.

you’re not sure where to start, Mystery Creek Pavillion is in the middle and a good option. There are stalls from all kinds of businesses and industries, including our

Agricultural Fieldays is a uniquely Waikato experience and one you shouldn’t

own fair institution, and it’s a good place to get started with finding freebies (see

leave the region without experiencing at least once. Go prepared, give yourself a

below) and entering competitions. If, like me, industrial machinery isn’t really

budget to stick to, and have a few words with the weather gods, and I guarantee

your thing, you’ll probably be most at home heading towards the “lifestyle” end

you’ll have a bloody good time.

21

NEXUS MAGAZINE Your Space

YOUR SPACE BEAUMONT BROTHEL PT 2 Some may say our photographer enjoyed the amount of character found in every crevice of this establishment; others are more inclined to say she was unable to resist the overwhelming charm of its inhabitants.

This flat is the physical result of bad financial decisions and the lack of an overlooking motherly figure. It brings a tear to my eye to think the dashing young men of this home are yet to find the nurturing touch they need; is Tinder all thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s missing? Or is a dreamy photographer exactly what they need? Â&#x2014;

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Your Space NEXUS MAGAZINE

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NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

MODERN DAY MIXTAPE V6

THAT TIME I...

HAD A GROSS MORNING

LYAM BUCHANAN

HUGH MANN

I don’t set trends, I’m far from it. The majority of my playlists have me labeled

MAN, STRAIGHT, 22

as a ‘music weenie’, but that’s exactly what you need when it comes to

Hello, I am Anonymous, and I have had sex, at least two and a half times. One

introducing people to tracks they’ve never heard of. You’ve always got time

time I even got sex, despite the best efforts of my flatmates, who tried their

to kill, you shouldn’t but you always do. V7 is what I’ve wasted this semester

hardest to convince the person with whom I later sex-ed that getting anally

away creating.

fisted was really my thing. Not just anally fisted though, but double fisted in

It started off with an interest in bands which managed to use vintage yet standard instruments to make good music, never anything more extravagant

the ol’ anal. What can I say? It must have been pity, but that is not the tale here today.

than a synth. Fairly established artists such as Violent Soho and Diiv quickly

So I had a 21st once upon a time (didn’t get laid, my family was there, totes

led me to the hive of glorious alternative tunes; now I’m merely a worker

awks) but I had a repeat party when I came back to town. Invited someone

delivering this sweet nectar as a two hour long playlist.

who had previously expressed interest in perhaps sexy-timing, even though they were in a relationship. An open one, mind you, this was my first

HOCKEY DAD With a name like that you don’t even need to listen to their tracks to know life’s about to get a whole lot better. Hockey Dad are the surf rock gods you didn’t know you needed. ‘Seaweed’ and ‘I Need A Woman’ are perfect examples of

experience of this concept, but it was an attractive prospect, who doesn’t love getting some lovin’ on their birthday? Screw grandma’s sweater, I want this keeping me warm.

their careless goodness which hasn’t been tainted by overproduction. The

Well that was my hope, anyway, until this person kept cropping up in bedroom

unique tone they’ve achieved couldn’t be emulated no matter how drug

after bedroom with someone else. It’s pretty telling when they ask for the

infused someone became.

owner of said bedroom to go away and close the door, it’s kind of a sign. But

THE WORLD IS A BEAUTIFUL PLACE & I AM NO LONGER AFRAID TO DIE This band is something else. Their lineup constantly grows and fades, with 10 current members it’s no surprise that they define their sound under genres

it wasn’t to be a bedroom for them, no, it was the floor in the office, where one of my flatmates lived at their computer. Meanwhile, my stomach contents were escaping my body. But it was a fun night.

such as maximalism and memo. ‘January 10th, 2014’ has the best combination

Waking up nice and dead the next morning, I turned to see that this person

of progression and diminishment I’ve ever heard; I’ll gladly admit that I’m

had followed me to bed! Well hooray, maybe some action after all! And action

uncultured and young, but this song alone does everything generic indie rock

I got. Some, at least. I tried the whole shebang, but unfortunately trying the

bands can barely dream of.

full missionary was a little upsetting in my tummy, and I threw up. Don’t worry, I had a bowl. But undeterred, my partner carried on, instead giving me a

TINY LITTLE HOUSES If you were ever in some form of garage band, and weren’t completely in love with live, this is the sound you wish you could have created. Noise-Folk doesn’t sound overly appealing until you indulge in the melancholic glory of Tiny Little

lovely hand/blow job, which turned out to be very gratifying. But they were a trooper, carrying on whilst I continued retching and throwing up the water I was drinking.

Houses. ‘You Tore My Heart Out’ is more than you’re self deprecating heart

You know, it is actually slightly difficult to remain turned on whilst you’re

could ever hope for. Not even the lovechild of The Arctic Monkeys and Michael

heaving your guts out, but we eventually reached completion, they left, and I

Cera could recreate a sound quite as unique as this..

fell asleep in a sea of disgustingness. Still, a pleasant experience, until I raised myself from the dead, and discovered that my partner’s endeavours the night before had left blood from one of their cavities, on the floor of the office. Not the nicest of endings, but hey, this is the only story where the subject won’t read and know. I never informed them of the last part.

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Columns NEXUS MAGAZINE

THE I.T. GUY CREATIVE TECHNOLOGIES

JUST THE TIP BEING A KIWI ABROAD

MATTHEW RAE

NINA FOX

Now is an interesting time to be alive. Not only do we have the technology

When you’re travelling, being a Kiwi is like having a small handicap in golf. Not

to destroy everything, we also have the technology to create. The way that

that I know fucking anything about golf. But it really is quite the advantage,

modern science is progressing, we can create almost anything but were all too

even if your personality is shite (unlikely ‘cause you’re reading this). People

busy updating our status about how the Starbucks man misspelt our name.

just seem to froth Kiwis and instantaneously get good vibes from us bogan lot.

We're too busy hating things that we don’t have time to appreciate the things we do like. With that in mind, I’d just like to reiterate my love of coffee. Also here are a few up and coming technologies that I like.

While travelling, people would spot our unique passport and instantly want to start up a yarn. They’d ‘gasm over the fact that we really stuck it to ‘The Man’ with the black passport, over the more classic navy or red. I even felt like the

GRAMMARLY

people at border control in airports would secretly get a kick out of meeting a

Let me first start off by saying I have sex daily, oops I mean dyslexia. Speling

real life Kiwi in the flesh, and would all be ever so curious as to why on Earth I

and gramer where nevre my strong sute. Leving only these few mysteaks

had decided to fly all this way.

behind portrays my point. Grammarly is an add-on, not only for Google Chrome, but Microsoft Office as well. Whether you’re writing an essay or Facebook status, Grammarly will point out any spelling mistake and grammar error that might slip by. This is great for me as I’m never sure which witch is which. I know this information will help lots of people, not just dyslexics so check it out.

When you first tell a foreigner (technically you’re the foreigner) that you’re from New Zealand, the first thing they say is, “Oh wow, I’ve heard it’s so beautiful,” and, “Omg I so want to go there!” But the more you get chatting, the more our infamous cultural traits emerge and expose us for who we really are. “You Kiwis like to drink, huh?” To which my reply is always: “Hell-fuckingyayuh!” For most people around the world, meeting a Kiwi is a pretty rare and

DATO-DUO

exciting thing. It’s not often they meet a guy called Davo, whose beverage of

I love music and what better way to make noise than with someone else.

choice is Diesel.

Anyone has the skills to use this so don’t worry if you can’t compose a symphony with your triangle. Now combining multiple music creative modules into one unit isn’t exactly a new idea, the Dato-duo works better when two pairs of hands take control. But what is it? It’s a synth on one side and a looper with a pentatonic keyboard to tap out those melodies. This basically means pressing buttons on one side makes the noises, the other side changes the sound. Simple enough that even a child can make music.

Another reason why people overseas are constantly on New Zealanders’ dicks (literally or figuratively, you choose) is because of our glorious accent. One time my exchange pals suggested we play a game of Never Have I Ever and being the hype queen that I am I said: “Yeah, I’m keen to play Never Have I Ever!” The whole room went silent and a German guy got me to repeat what I had just said, much to the hilarity of the entire room. For the rest of my trip this Swiss dude greeted me by saying “NEVAH HAVE I EVAH,” in possibly the

WINDSWEPT

worst imitation of a Kiwi accent ever. We also have some pretty quirky phrases

Brought to you be the people at Love and Robots, Windswept is a jewellery

that you often don’t think are weird until you go overseas and no one has a

with a little bit of virtual modelling and 3D printing. It’s as simple as entering

fucking clue what you’re on about. They especially think the “aye” at the end

a location and date to make a one of a kind piece of jewellery using the winds

of every sentence is legitimate banter.

that day. Nothing says romance like “Shit, that day was windy.”

So when you go overseas, please for the love of Christ don’t be a dickhead and tarnish the reputation us Kiwis have for being absolute good cunts.

27

NEXUS MAGAZINE Columns

hari kOrero HARI KORERO NAU MAI E WAHA I TAKU TUA!

YWRC APPLYING FOR A JOB: 101

KEIHANA KINGI-TAKOKO

MEL MARTIN

Kei ngaa taringa rahirahi o Rongomaitahanui, o Rongomaitaharangi, o Tuu-

So, for the first time ever I am privy to the inner workings of hiring a new staff

Pae-Whakarongo- Waananga, ko te piikari o te taringa ki te kauwhau e haere

member; the application process, the collating of CV’s and cover letters, and

ake nei he mea mau te iro i te rangi o puurangiaho! Kia kau taaua!

unfortunately the fairly lax manner in which some people apply for jobs.

Noho ana au i te poho o tooku wharekura!

I feel like it should be common-sense that you need to format a cover letter the

Whakarongo ana ki ngaa hau kii mai tara-aa-whare

way they teach you to at high school, or in CUP courses. But it’s not. Writing

Taku kiri e katohia tonutia ana e te mahana, e te moowai rokiroki

me three pages about how badly you need a job and why, with not even the

He whare taarai whakaaro, he whare oroi anamata

date appearing anywhere is not going to get you an interview for the position. I

He whare e maharatia ana e te puukanohi o te whatumanawa

suppose at least you wrote something though, to accompany your CV. Believe

Uea taku whare kia tuu tangatanga e!

it or not, there are people in the world who don’t know that it is standard

E hika maa, haunga te nui o te aroha ki too kura, kua eke te waa e whiua ai

practise to write a separate cover letter for each job that you apply for.

too mero ki raahaki, ki waho i ngaa tuuwatawata o toona tomokanga, ue ara

I received a relatively impressive CV followed by a cover letter expressing the

raa ko te tuu tahanga teenei e haere ake nei! Ko koe me too kotahi, kei tawhiti

applicant’s unmatched desire to be the new Sous Chef for some restaurant in

kee koe i ngaa hiahia a te runga rawa, haahaa ana ngaa whakaaro, haahaa

town. And while I, more than most, appreciate the job struggle and incredible

ana te tahua, kaare he aroha o teetehi ki a koe, he tangi kau te mapu, e whiti

annoyance of changing every single cover letter you write, but you need to. It

raa e haku e!

demonstrates your attention to detail, your desire to actually get the job you’ve

Kaati koa te kuumea o too hoe, ko te taaheke hukahuka teeraa e

applied for, and if nothing else your ability to operate the Microsoft Office Suite.

whakahootaetae nei i a koorua ko niwhaniwha. E tia, e ranga, ka huukere te

So here’s a few step-by-step instructions to get you through your next job

wai! Kua eke too waka ki te tuuwatawata o te whare tapere nui o Te Whare

application process.

Waananga o Waikato. Kei konei te mahi a te tangata, ko te rere kee o te hanga

1. Email the business/organisation and express your interest in the position,

o oona tara-aa-whare i hee ai te mahunga, ko te muia o te kura nei e te tangata manomano i wheke ai te aakonga, ko te taka o te kapa ki te koorero "nau mai ki te ao nui, te ao roa, te ao whakamataku" i hii ake ai ngaa pewa. Ko te tuuwhitia o te hopo te tiimatanga ki too ao hoou.

while at the same time asking for a complete job description.

2. Compose a cover letter tailored to the job description you receive (your name address and phone number, with the date at the top is 100% necessary).

Ko te aha ki a taatou te panonitanga o te ao kura ki te ao whare waananga? He

3. If emailing in your application, naming the files ‘YWRC Application’

kai kei teenaa peka taumatua, kei teenaa peka taumatua o te whare waananga

doesn’t help me when sorting through CV’s and cover letters. The best

nei naa te ringaringa whero i taka. He whare wero i oo huatau, he whare oroi

format is probably just ‘Your Name – CV’ (some organisations require a job

anoo i a koorua ko anamata. Kia toongakingaki e tai maa, napihia ko ngaa

reference number, this is appropriate to put in the file name, also).

aaheinga i too aroaro, tiiponatia ko ngaa raakau kei oo ringaringa hei tikitiki moou, moo too iwi. He kura kaainga teenei noou, kuhuna, taaraitia ngaa heke, koorerotia oona tukutuku, maataitia oona pou, uea te whare nei kia tuu

4. Send your application well before the cut-off date/time. Some places are super strict about this sort of thing.

tangatanga. Kia maharatia ko ngaa mahi ka tutuki i aa koe i roto i teenei whare

5. Then, cross your fingers!

ki te puukanohi raa anoo o te whatumanawa.

The more prep you put into applying, the better your chances are of getting

Tookihi ngaa hoe ki te anamata!

an interview for the job!

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Cooking for Students NEXUS MAGAZINE

PAK â&#x20AC;&#x2122;N SAVE HEAD CHEF MACARONI CHEESE INGREDIENTS 500g macaroni pasta (macaroni elbows, or any other tubular pasta) 1 large onion (diced) sprig of thyme 300g shoulder bacon, diced (optional) 1 Tbs butter 2 Tbs cornflour 600 ml milk 2 large handfuls of cheese (less or more) 2 tsp wholegrain mustard (optional) Breadcrumbs (coarse work better)

DIRECTIONS 1. Boil some water in a large pot, then throw in your pasta. Cook as per instructions on the packet.

2. Dice up the onion. Heat a large pan, chuck in a splash of oil, onion, thyme, salt and pepper.

3. Remove from pan once onion is translucent and cook the bacon, again remove from heat once cooked.

4. Melt butter in saucepan and add corn flour to make a paste. Then whisk in your milk. Once the sauce thickens (about 10 mins on medium heat) add in cheese, onions, bacon and mustard. Give it a thorough mix.

5. Once pasta is cooked drain and throw into a large cooking pot of cooking dish. Pour thick cheese/ bacon sauce over the pasta and mix until coated evenly.

6. Sprinkle some breadcrumbs over the top and finish with a small sprinkle of cheese.

7. Bake for 15-20 mins or until golden brown. Allow to cool and serve with a salad if you wish.

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Snap nexusmag your shenanigans! The best snap each week wins a voucher from our mates at BurgerFuel. Claim it from the Nexus office in SUB.

WINNER

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She’s a “blonde bimbo” looking for someone who loves food (you mean every starving student?) and has a “big dick”. As we don’t have any dickinspectors on staff, we picked a guy (also blond) based on the fact that he likes “Fashion drinking sport girls town” and she loves to drink anything that is high percent. They also both seemed keen to have some fun and take advantage of a tab at The Bank.

If you are sk8r boi who’s said “see ya later” to your girl then email editor@nexusmag.co.nz and hit us up for a Blind Date. There are some killer straight girls waiting for a hot match. References to 00’s pop culture will DEFINITELY increase your chances of being selected by the Editor. She’s feeling nostalgic.

HE SAID

SHE SAID

The night began with getting tidy and being driven over to The Bank. I

As soon as I saw him I knew he was the one, who got with my friend in a

got in on time and as she walked in she began to laugh. I later found out it

van during O Week and this had now become a sort of ongoing joke.

was because I was the guy who hooked up with her friend during O Week.

So from the get-go as much as I wanted to do it for the lols, I knew I wasn't

Normal chit chat began and we kinda hit it off with no awkward silences,

taking him back to my flat or even worse, going back to his hall. Much to

we ordered a few drinks to kick off the night. We ordered our mains and

my disappointment because I had previously had high hopes of getting laid.

had a delicious meal (cheers to The Bank). After the meal had finished and we had some surprise shots which kept things interesting. She was very kind, cute and pretty with a good sense of humour; how uni students should be. An academic which will come in handy when she does my assignments and seems to be pretty laid back.

He seemed like a nice guy, but a bit overly confident for my liking. He scrubbed up nicely for the occasion but was very obviously a first year and our conversations centered around him and “the lads”. He kept texting at the table which was a bit of a dick move and his mates always seemed to be passing by. But conversation did flow well and after the meal we

We later enjoyed a nice walk, at this point I realised I had completely

finished up the tab with some shots before he walked me home. It was an

forgotten her name. To make matters worse, I was busting for a piss which

okay evening but he was very much not my type, in the end I swerved the

ended up with the departure from each other for the night.

kiss for a hug (I really wasn’t keen on him) and not long after I got home

Though there was no happy ending I messaged her and received a cheeky response "maybe next time ;)" We'll have to see what happens.

Thanks to Nexus for the meal and the ezy slays to come in the future.

was I hit with the friend request and some pretty shit chat from this cocky first year trying to come back to my flat.

However, I still highly recommend going on a blind date was a bit of fun for a Tuesday night.

NEXUS MAGAZINE Puzzles

SUDOKU 3 5

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Each letter in the puzzle is represented by a number 1 â&#x20AC;&#x201C; 26. Crack the code to solve it.

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CODE CRACKER 22

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3

9

MEDIUM

22

7

6

6

7

2

EASY

3

4

2

6

4

3 9

3

9 9

2

9

20

22

13

11

10

18

15

6

16

1

19

6

7

14

Join the dots to create a single continuous loop. The numbers indicate how many lines

22

1

14

6

2

15

20

3

16

22

4

17

14

5

18

6

19

19

7

20

22

8

21

20

9

22

24

10

23

22

11

24

2

12

25

9

13

26

must surround each number and the loop 22

17

6

5

22

24

2

4

12

13

21

6

4

22 2

6

1

2

20

13

24

16

22

25

22

24

1

2 22

18

X

6 22

1

14

23

15

2

13

13

4

16

7

25

2

6

5

4

14

14

6

13

10

8

20

4

14

3

22

1

9

6

20

22

18

1

13

X

20

26

14

16

6

21 21

4 13

16

8

22 4

1

13

24

4

13

20

22

12

2

1

16

22

9

2

9

1

10

22

must never cross itself.

2

2

2

1

2

3

3

1

X

2

2

1

3

2

3

2

1

1

2 3

2

2

0

3

2

3

1

TRIVIAL High Court Judge, Peter Mahon, conducted a Royal Commission of enquiry into which air crash that happened in 1979 in Antarctica?

16

5

1

14

4

4 9

6

12

22 9

1

20

9 20

22

13

16

22

22 4

2

6 24

19

In the Iliad, which character quarrels with Agamemnon over a slave girl and withdraws from the fighting to sulk in his tent?

WORD TWIST G

R

E

O

A

L

D

A

C

T

E

A

I

B

R

E

32

N.12 / V.48

How many words can you make from these letters? The letters must touch horizontally, vertically or diagonally and cannot be used more than once in a word.

HAMILTON

Puzzles NEXUS MAGAZINE

WORDFIND I

J

Z

M

K

K

G

M

G

S

N

T

O

N

G

U

E

E

D

T

Phallic

Readbands

Fieldays

Green Tea

S

G

Y

V

L

G

N

N

O

I

D

L

Y

T

I

V

A

C

E

L

Seaweed

B

X

H

S

U

O

I

R

O

L

G

N

N

A

P

B

N

S

S

Y

Council

Flattery

Gonorrhea

Sadistic Aphrodite

H

T

D

Q

S

L

K

G

P

I

I

O

A

W

D

O

E

G

I

F

Chlamydia Yeast

Yarn

Z

R

I

E

S

Y

A

J

V

H

R

C

N

B

C

N

N

C

R

F

Zoo

Route

Giraffes

Baking

Syphilis

Soda Glorious

G

A

D

O

R

A

B

L

E

P

A

J

N

O

D

I

A

A

E

T

U

G

G

O

C

P

R

V

T

Y

F

L

F

U

R

A

G

P

P

H

Nutrigain Tutors

Lettuce

M

E

I

Z

A

A

I

Z

I

S

F

F

L

U

O

R

E

P

O

U

Dogs

Britt

Tongue

Savage

Gummys

Tuatara

Creamy

Kudos

Nurturing

Red

Archer

Panda Inaudible

M

D

Z

N

P

R

T

K

D

L

E

H

T

I

A

C

H

R

F

S

Y

Y

E

R

U

A

T

A

O

E

S

R

O

N

C

B

R

E

L

H

S

M

S

E

C

K

C

I

R

C

U

M

C

I

S

I

O

N

A

R

R

A

O

T

H

E

O

D

H

N

E

E

R

G

F

N

I

T

T

I

Intimacy Fragrance

Horrifically

O

E

D

T

I

E

L

Y

P

R

A

C

T

I

C

A

L

I

T

Y

Gosling

Capuchin

Tragedy

Adorable

Apprenticeships

Desire

Pleasant

Bittern

Fungus

Hush

Bar

Parakeet Practicality

T

R

U

I

N

T

I

M

A

C

Y

I

C

T

G

U

R

C

E

D

U

C

K

B

S

T

U

A

T

A

R

A

N

I

Y

D

O

E

R

F

T

E

C

U

T

T

E

L

H

E

L

P

R

E

S

I

U

S

Y

U

S

M

E

G

M

A

I

H

H

L

Y

T

A

V

O

B

T

H

S

N

Cavity Coffee

Smegma

A

A

D

V

O

C

A

C

Y

D

U

S

Y

A

D

L

E

I

F

G

Send

Circumcision

Help

Advocacy

Panopto

Nose

Z

I

L

N

C

D

R

H

S

N

T

N

A

S

A

E

L

P

M

U

C

V

S

A

V

A

G

E

U

M

R

D

E

E

W

A

E

S

P

S

HOROSCOPES CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 — JANUARY 19)

CANCER (JUNE 21 — JULY 22)

Don’t listen to Sia, and don’t swing from a chandelier: fucking

Jupiter looks favourably on you this month, helping QLD to

terrible idea, and against all health and safety protocol.

win State of Origin.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 — FEBRUARY 18)

LEO (JULY 23 — AUGUST 22)

There's no such thing as “too old for Scrumpy Hands”, unless you’re

Struggling to stay warm this winter? Adopt a cat or three,

talking about the Scrumpy, and it’s been open since first year.

and make them cuddle you.

PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 — MARCH 20)

VIRGO (AUGUST 23 — SEPTEMBER 22)

Position of the week is doggy style: Notice your hook up’s dog

Good on you for signing up for Junk Free June! Just don’t think of all

watching you from the corner, and pray it doesn’t come lick your balls.

the chocolate, ice cream, lollies, pizza, and BK you’re missing out on.

ARIES (MARCH 21 — APRIL 19)

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 — OCTOBER 22)

The stars shine favourably on you this month, NSW will win

Keep your eyes open for a hottie in a Waikato shirt this month,

State of Origin.

you might just fall in love.

TAURUS (APRIL 20 — MAY 20)

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 — NOVEMBER 21)

“To all my little Hulkamaniacs, say your prayers, take your

If you won all that Nexus Nutri-Grain, share it with a hungry

vitamins and you will never go wrong”.

horoscoper, and the planets will shine on you.

GEMINI (MAY 21 — JUNE 20)

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 — DECEMBER 21)

Hang in there until the holidays; dream of your parents’

Even if you didn’t win the Nutri-Grain, please hook a brother up.

cupboards filled with something that’s not Mi-goreng.

33

Hillcrest - Shop 9, Hillcrest Shopping Centre, Cambridge Road, Hamilton 3216 Davies Corner – Unit 2, 303 Clarkin Road, Fairfield, Hamilton 3214

dominos.co.nz 0800 30 40 50 MOBILE & ONLINE

ORDERING SITE

For a Lot of Flipping Fun 42 Sunshine Ave, Te Rapa PH: 07 850 4222

hamilton.govt.nz/recycling

Food waste in pizza boxes can cause potential contamination for our paper and card recycling. Please fold your empty pizza boxes and pop them in your black bag.

Pizza boxes

• Recycling bin to contain only plastics with the 1 and 2 symbols (eg, soft drink bottles, milk bottles, etc), aluminium and steel cans, green, clear or brown glass bottles and jars

• Tie together all paper and card (max size 750mm x 750mm) and place beside the recycling bin

• Maximum of two rubbish bags and no more than 20kg each

THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT ON RUBBISH DAY