issue 1

Issue 01

VSM A Very Stupid Move

By Debrin Foxcroft

Win Minuit Tickets!

By dancing for Nexus!

Gig Guide!

Know where to be and how to be there this O-Week!

1 March 2010

WEDNESDAY 3RD MARCH MONDAY

with guest judges

Will Hall & Ben Barrington

TUESDAY

THURSDAY

MARCH FROM CAMPUS TO BAR 101 AND GET A FREE FUSE ICE AT THE DOOR

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/BAR101

EDITORIAL

I’m sorry. Unless you’re a cock.

Hello. My name is Art and I have the grand misfortune of being the Nexus editor for 2010.

I assure you, it is a misfortune, because I have to find a way to juggle a dozen staff and volunteers in such a way that you get a magazine on Monday morning which is good. It’s not easy, because there’s way too many of you and way too many different ideas of what is good on top of that. A lot of you will be fine with pretty much anything we print, because you’re still young and carefree. Some of you, a vocal minority, will read Nexus only to find things to complain about and be offended by. So I will start 2010 with a blanket apology which hopefully covers the entire year and all of the contributors who make this magazine great.

We’ve got Christians and Muslims and other religious types who will be offended when I (or one of the Nexus team members) say things which you see to be blasphemous. We aren’t singling any of you out for mockery. Religion has been teased, poked and prodded by student magazines since the 1960s, when it was suddenly cool to call Christians losers and drink away your student allowance. Now, in a post-9/11 world, we’re suddenly afraid to mock Islam, even though it holds some of the same prophets in high regard as do the Christians. So, I’m sorry we sometimes tease Christians and I’m sorry we don’t tease Muslims. It’s not fair on either of you.

We’ve got feminists who will be offended if they perceive we’ve been taking a penis-centric view of the world or reviewing too many male authors in the book review section or whatever it is that pisses off feminists these days. A lot of bands are made up purely of men and a lot of the world’s leaders (and the universities leaders) are also men and we can’t change that.

We aren’t going to ask women MPs questions if we can get better ones from male MPs and vice versa. So, I apologise on behalf of Nexus to all of the feminists who find us offensive. We’ll stop being publishing pictures of girls in short skirts in bars when girls in short skirts stop sending them in.

There will be exchange students who get bothered when we call their country stupid or say their language makes it sound like they’re being sick. You’ve come to one of the most peaceful, friendly places on Planet Earth and now you’re being accosted by student media who think your country should let the gays get married or stop executing the mentally retarded. Welcome to the real world. Students aren’t generally peaceful or friendly when it comes to fascists or money hungry dictators letting their countries rot from the inside, just so they can retire to Switzerland. So I am apologising to foreigners who come here and get a bit of a raw deal from university students who don’t like your country. We only have a problem with your country, not you. Unless you’re a cock.

Young students will complain that our magazine is too mature and mature students will complain that we use filthy language too much. I’m trying to limit the amount of filthy words the columnists use, but it’s very hard because they’re so fun to use in writing. If you think there’s too many swear words, then write in and call us up on it. We have several pages dedicated to your letters. The best one each week even gets a $20 book voucher for Bennett’s Bookstore (they also work at Whitcoulls I’m pretty sure) and surely THAT can’t offend you.

We are never going to please all of you all of the time. That’s not how it works. If we can have one part of the magazine that appeals to one ethnic/religious/social/political/gender group, then we have succeeded. If you want Nexus to do something and we aren’t doing it, it’s pretty much your responsibility to write to us and tell us what exactly it is we’re doing wrong. We are Nexus, we are your magazine and we are made (primarily) by students. If you want to sit on your hands complaining about how lame we are, we don’t give a shake of a shit on a stick. If you want to help us make your magazine better, you have our attention.

CONTENTS PAGE VSM – A Very Stupid Move

By Debrin Foxcroft

Recipes With Nexus’ only aunt, Emma!

Win Minuit Tickets!

By dancing for Nexus!

Auteur House Presents – Luis Rainier

News From The Pits of Hell!

With Grant Burns and His Army of Youths!

Reviews of many things!

Books, movies, games and comics all get a look!

Lettuce You write in and we pretend to care!

Gig Guide!

Know where to be and how to be there this O-Week!

Columns We write in and YOU pretend to care!

INTERVIEW: LO 5

Lo 5

Interviews by Erin

LO QUESTIONS 1. What should be a new Winter Olympic sport?

2. What will you partake in during O’Week?

3. If you could major in anything, what would it be?

4. Who would you go gay for?

5. If you could kill anyone in the world and totally get away with it, who would it be?

Sarah - Teaching 1. Gymnastic Snowboarding.

2. The Foam party.

3. Painting.

4. Katy Perry, she’s so hot.

5. Edward Cullen.

Daria and Nina - Teaching 1. Drinking.

2. A lot of Drinking.

3. Drinking!

4. Megan Fox. 5. Hone Harawera.

Daniel - Computer Science 1. Bob-sledding combined with the Biathalon.

2. Nothing.

3. Race-car driving.

4. Sean Connery. He’s the best Bond.

5. The Backstreet Boys.

Karen - Management 1. Jelly wrestling. Or Slushee wrestling.

2. I’ll be doing promos for Tax refunds.

3. Artistic and Gymnastic Pole-dancing.

4. Adriana Lima.

5. Osama Bin Laden

Jason - Computer Science 1. I’m not interested in the Olympics. I would probably take some sports out.

2. Probably nothing.

3. Star Trek 4. Mr Spock.

5. Robert Mugabe.

Now that you’re here...

There’s no stopping you.

Welcome to the University of Waikato.

World class education, relevant practical skills, leading post-graduate and research opportunities, and a lifestyle unique to New Zealand’s heartland.

Bold ideas. Smart people. Unlimited ambition.

NEXUS NEWS ISSUE 01

Youth Rates Debated in Parliament

By James Manning

The re-introduction of the youth minimum wage is under debate in Government thanks to Act MP Roger Douglas’ idea being pulled out of the Bill Ballot.

The Minimum Wage (Mitigation of Youth Unemployment) Amendment Bill was drawn from the members bill ballot yesterday (Tuesday 23rd February), attracting negative attention from Maritime Union National President Phil Adams.

“Ever since we have gone down the Roger Douglas path, things have got worse for workers”, asserts

Adams. “Unemployment soared under his policies in the 1980’s, it got worse when his ideas were carried on in the 1990s and now we have unemployment peaking under the National Government once again”.

sure they (workers) are getting their share of the wealth they produce.”

Advising Douglas to retire before causing more harm, Adams defended the plight of all low-income workers, declaring the solution to unemployment problems is to “...Lift the minimum wage, keep youth rates, get workers into unions, and make

while accommodation, food and education costs skyrocket.

Scorning the ACT MP himself, Adams believes that Douglas wants young people starting out in life to be trapped in low wages

Youth rates were abolished in 2007, after the Government decided the minimum wage should apply to all workers from 16 years old.

The New Library Study-free since 2010

By Grant Burns The new student centre next to the library is deep within construction and will remain that way for the next year and a half. Stage one has been completed, with stage two now under construction which is focussing on the front of library meaning the entrance has now moved closer the law school.

The student centre is the second phase to upgrading the Waikato University, the first being the new shops which opened last year.

However, since the student centre is still undergoing construction, the library is now one big clusterfuck.

All books, levels, and your favourite places in the library have now been

David Bennett MP M P f o r h aM i l t o n e a s t

Phone: 07 834 3407 Email: davidbennett@xtra.co.nz www.davidbennett.co.nz

www.national.org.nz

moved and will continue to move until construction is finished.

“There will be changes during the year, but what you see now will be situation for the first semester, then it will change again. Just for students to know that it’s not always going to be a super quiet place to go study, there will be a bit of noise and also there aren’t going to be as many study spaces as there used to be, but we have taken S.1.01 out of production to act is another study room,” said Tony Dicks, Project Manager of the Student Centre. “(The Student Centre) will be finished about August, September next year. There will be construction going on all year but

we will try and keep it quiet during exams.”

So there, you can’t say we didn’t warn you! Nexus suggests if you can’t stand the noise then get out of the library! Otherwise just go study on one of our lush, beautiful fields.

Powhiri

For all those who actually cared

By Grant Burns Kia ora. Nau mai, haere mai ki te Whare Wananga O Waikato. Ko Grant Burns tāku ingoa. Ko taku mahi, hei mahi kairipoata mō a Nexas, ā, hei ako au te mahi tangata. Mihi atu mo tō noho ki tēnei Whare Wananga.

See, already you’ve lost interest and began skimming over the next article and all I said was: Hello, welcome to Waikato University. My name is Grant Burns. I work as a reporter at Nexus and study Humanities in third year. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Sorry to people who actually just want to read about what happened at the Powhiri – that’s in the paragraph below. What I am attempting to demonstrate is the cultural ignorance I observed while at the Powhiri.

First year students dressed as though they were in line for Bar101, busily texting away without even a hint of how rude and insensitive they were being to the unique heritage of Waikato University. International students walked away during the haka and there were mass groans and sighs every time the students were told to stand up as a sign of respect.

Nevertheless, the sun shone brightly, too brightly for those of us running on no sleep and only 4 hours of food, for the new students Powhiri which was held at Gate 4 on Wednesday 24 February. The Powhiri itself was a huge success which ran smoothly from speaker to speaker. Labour Hauraki/Waikato electorate Nania Mahuta, Vice-Chancellor Roy Crawford, and other dignitaries all gave great speeches about their experiences with Waikato, the university, and inspiring words for all the new students present.

Talking about the new students, observing a herd of them you find that you really can learn a lot about an assembly of first-years, bored, culturally ignorant first years. Some stare solemnly into the sun, some pick grass, others use their time a lot more wisely by texting off their multiple phones about which guy/girl they want to slam tonight - all this while staff and speakers are trying to welcome them to university.

The more I begin to become enchanted by this species, the more I can observe their habits. The girl over there in the pink miniskirt and heels will last approximately 23 days of tertiary education while the guy with the polo shirt, socks and jandals, and a baseball cap that says “player” will last exactly 3 hours.

The guy sitting by himself in a Star Wars shirt will get high for the first time tomorrow night and the girl who has been listening the whole time might actually achieve something in her time at university, nevertheless, all of them will be plunged deep into the nymphomaniac society of Hamilton’s seedy underbelly – Hamilton – Chlamydia capital of the world!

Packs of horny schoolboys reign from the highest vantages admiring the unsuspecting prey of the innocent while the Powhiri carries on behind them. However, unbeknownst to the male tribes, the females are just as randy. Over a period of three months these two major species, the manwhores and the sluts, will both cancel each other out by inbreeding and weakening their DNA. This will end in weeding out the munters and leaving only those who came to university to actually learn.

NEXUS NEWS ISSUE 01

Float-Down Cancelled. Soundscape Continues!

Safety concerns raised and bass dropped.

By Reporter X Advice from Environment Waikato and local police has lead to the much vaunted FloatDown being pulled for 2010.

The journey of 5 kms was expected to draw up to 1000 students.

Organisers Sophie Destow-Wright and Luke Pharaoh were hoping students would get

be an officially run event. No one’s going to stop people from getting in the river on the day though”.

But the weekend is still packed with events for students celebrating the end of Orientation Week.

On Saturday evening the Outback Inn is inviting

involved in the river rafting event, sponsored by the Outback Inn. But just week and a half before the race, concerns were voiced by Police over the safety of participants in the river.

After consultation with Police and Environment Waikato, organisers decided to cancel the Float-Down.

The original plan included official Surf Life Saving NZ lifeguards on hand to help anyone struggling in the water. The organisation pulled out after police highlighted the safety issues.

Organiser Luke Pharaoh is disappointed.

“This was set to be a good time but unfortunately safety factors mean that it can’t

techno fans to Soundscape. Divided into three parts, the bar will play host to some of New Zealand’s top DJs, including Sam Hill, from Auckland. Hill has played alongside Basement Jaxx and Fatboy Slim.

Organised by Hamilton DJs James Lawless and Greg Stack, it is set to be one of the largest dance music events of the year, with the Outback expected to sell out. The Outback has a capacity of 1800 people.

Musical styles which will to be prevalent on the night include dubstep, drum and bass, club classics and electro.

Tickets to Soundscape are $10 and can be bought from Texas Radio or the OutBack Inn.

COPS – in Springfield! I mean campus Whether you know it or not when you are at university, you are in Hamilton East. Hamilton East is full of loveable creatures from all genera’s, however, for some unknown reason, Hamilton East is burglar central. This is where this man comes in (hopefully there’s a picture to go along with this) Constable Nick Sickelmore the University Community Constable.

Nick Sickelmore is a friendly, approachable Police officer is dedicating to helping students around the campus. With a welcoming smile and

great advice, Nick can help any student with any problems they may have. Look out for Nick’s bi-weekly Police Report which shows where burglaries are occurring and what you can do to prevent it.

The Hamilton East Community Policing Centre is located close to the University of Waikato at 245 Clyde Street and can be contacted on 07 856 0291 for calls other than emergences.

Otherwise dial 111.

NEWS MUSICAL SEASONS ISSUE 01

Keep on Rockin’ in the Free World or It’s a Life Wasted

By Grant Burns Eleven years is a long time. It’s one more than one of the greatest debut albums ever released. It’s a decade and a bit. Seventeen years since the rock revival sweep through Seattle, the other key grunge band finally returned to

Opening straight into Daughter, Pearl Jam ripped the top of every fan’s head in Mt Smart Stadium.

Downing wine as though it was attached by an IV drip, front man Eddie Vedder laughed, cried, and shared all his beautiful passion

jamming out the hits and the crowd just kept lapping it up.

Never have I witnessed such a chilled out musician like Eddie Vedder. Vedder broke down all the awkward barriers that are usually formed between musician

Auckland to give Ten good reasons why grunge isn’t dead – it’s just been sleeping.

with a crowd that was as respectful as it was pumping. Betterman, Black, Jeremy, Even Flow, PJ kept

and audience; Vedder was one of us! Add in a guest appearance

by Neil and Liam Finn covering

Chris Knox’s Kiwi classic Not Given Lightly, a Neil Young cover, and Ben Harper acting as slide guitarist on Red Mosquito and you have one ripper of a rock ‘n’ roll show.

Let there “forever” be rock

By Grant Burns Disclaimer: this review is only a very rough description of the moment in time when the greatest rock ‘n’ roll band in history embarked on Western Springs in a three hour ecstasy of light, sound, rock matter comparable only to the Big Bang. However, due to the process of natural aging and bad music, this event will never occur again in the history of all mankind

- in New Zealand. Any attempts to explain what happened on that fateful day will be either entirely fictitious or very badly reviewed.

By the first chorus of Rock ‘N’ Roll Train my ears were already streaming significant amounts of blood. I knew I wouldn’t be conscious for any longer than three hours, so I skulled the rest of bourbon, finished a doob, and

rocked like I’ve never rocked before!

Hell Ain’t a Bad Place to Be, Highway to Hell, Thunderstruck, Back in Black, Whole Lotta Rosie, War Machine, Let There Be Rock, Hells Bells, For Those About to Rock, Dirty Deeds, You Shook Me All Night Long, High Voltage, TNT – Jesus Christ take me into your arms the Devil’s done me bad – is

Happy Birthday Fucker

By Grant Burns Reunited by Peaches and Herb, Poker Face By Lady Gaga and Don’t Dream It’s Over x3 By Crowded House – now this does not sound like the set list to one of the most heaviest, diversely styled bands of all time. But it is. Because it’s Faith No More.

Dressed in full formal attire, red carpet suits and black glasses, Mike Patton and Faith No More just 10

kicked motherfuckin’ arse! There ain’t much more to say because if you haven’t heard of FNM before then you just won’t appreciate them. You won’t find them on The Edge or MTV, maybe The Rock if you’re lucky and they’re not talking because FNM are purely for music lovers and freaks.

Epic, Last Cup of Sorrow, Evidence, The Gentle Art of Making Enemies,

Falling to Pieces, From Out of No Where – to those that know what I’m talking about, I know your silently head banging to yourselves right now. Rock on!

After it all came to an end, the megaphones were laid to rest, the fans left, but one question still remained: Where is Tom Jones?

this Heaven or is this Hell? Who cares!

After the canons fired their twentyone gun salute, I had lost all sense of time and space. So being weak and weary, I laid my head in my favourite place. Happy alone.

FYI *I am also aware that these weren’t the only concerts held during the summer. Due to word limits we could not review all the concerts that we wanted to, but if you went to a killer gig in the holidays and want to review it, then send your work to news@nexusmag.co.nz and it will be published. Next week: Rhythm and Vines and Big Day Out.

NEWS FROM NOWHERE ISSUE 01

NATIONALISED NEWS BY GRANT BURNS INTERNATIONALISED NEWS BY GRANT BURNS

A Small Victory The Broadcasting Standards Authority seems to have finally shown a spine by choosing not to censure Breakfast co-host Paul Henry’s remark that homosexuality is unnatural. Henry made the comments during a discussion about a proposed law change to allow homosexual couples to adopt children. He said he was “iffy” about the law change and that homosexuality was “unnatural.”

However, SOLO Principal Lindsay Perigo, a former TVNZ presenter and homosexual advocate, believes BSA is taking a giant leap in the right direction even though he opposes Henry’s argument.

“Paul is quite wrong, of course...But if we ever get to the stage where Paul, or anyone else, is banned from saying homosexuality, or anything else, is unnatural, then we are just another Soviet Union, Nazi Germany or Iran in reverse.

The ghastly tyranny of Political Correctness reigns, just when we thought, with Helen Clark’s demise, that it didn’t.”

For Henry’s comments to go unpunished shows that the BSA are reconsidering their strangle hold on what can and cannot be utter on television. For once it seems the freedom of speech is being respected in all its forms. “The state broadcaster TVNZ, which itself ought to be abolished, is nonetheless to be congratulated on standing by Henry in the face of the firestorm of abuse that has engulfed him, especially after his entirely justified comments about the very ordinary Susan Boyle. Paul Holmes was very nearly crucified for his remarks about the ‘cheeky darkie.’ Let not Paul Henry be destroyed by a pink swastika where a black one failed,” says Perigo.

1984 still alive in 2010 The dreaded Section 92A bill has reared its ugly head again in Parliament as desperate “oldschoolers” try to create a law which is twenty years too late. Section 92A refers to internet piracy and illegally downloading and sharing copyrighted files. The Government is now proposing a three-strike campaign before they can suspend your internet account and then take “further” actions.

The Bill was reintroduced to Parliament on Tuesday 23 February by Commerce Minister Simon Power and he sure thought it was a good idea. “This amendment puts in place a fair and balanced process to deal with online copyright infringements occurring via file sharing,” said Max Power.

“The major feature is the three-notice process, which educates the public about illegal file sharing and provides effective methods for copyright owners to enforce their copyright.

“It ensures that file sharers are given adequate warnings that unauthorised sharing of copyright works is illegal.”

There are many issues on both sides surrounding this proposed law change: intellectual property, copyright law, fair use, public domain, but it really just comes down to a generation issue. Like kids taking drugs in the sixties, their parents are scared and worried because their children are doing things they didn’t do and don’t understand. Same applies for the internet in modern times, our parents used to live in an age where new release movies would take months to reach our cinemas and even longer until they were rentable at the local video store. Now you can download a movie before it’s even released internationally. Maybe someone should tell Mr Powers to check out thepiratebay.org the next time his rental disc is scratched! Ahoy!

Douche or just dumb?

A British nineteen year old has officially changed his name to what is thought to be the longest name ever recorded. The originally named George Garratt from Glasonbury is now officially named Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. No shit.

The bubbly teenager said he used an online service to officially change his name for a $20 fee, however, his grandmother is so outraged she never wants to talk to him again.

“I wanted to be unique,” Captain Fantastic said of his name choice. “I decided upon a theme of superheroes.”

Truckloads of Dope

A truckload of police confiscated marijuana estimated at $1 million has disappeared somewhere between Memphis and Louisville, Kentucky, sources say. More than 1,700 pounds of pot went missing during a controlled drug delivery going from Memphis to Louisville, the Memphis Commercial-Appeal reported Sunday.

Sources said the officers saw several vehicles pull up to the tractor-trailer parked in Louisville, leave, come back then leave again. When they checked the contents of the truck it was empty, the sources said.

And who said police were incorruptible?

11

NEXUS NEWS ISSUE 01

Enjoy Nazis Ingenuity The Secret History of the World

By Grant Burns

“No harm’s done to history by making it something someone would want to read” - David McCullough.

Throughout history there have always been those who have acted in it while others observe it from a distance, those who record it and those who try to wipe it away, and those who will try to uncover it accompanied by those who would

kill to keep it secret. History hides her most devastating secrets deep within her broken soul, covered up by lying flesh and a deceitful tongue, but with the correct anatomy the truth can opened up for all to see. So join with me and together we can see, how it all came to be; and to begin, we will start in, 1941, when Nazis ruled the world!

ENTRIES CLOSE 4 MARCH

Indoor

the very country that supplied his hit. However, when you’re the most powerful man in Europe who is being sponsored by American bankers, you have very easy access to the top scientists in the world.

read “Coca-Cola – The Universal Symbol of the American Way of Life.” This contradiction created a clusterfuck for Coca-Cola, a problem which would remain on their front until 1943.

In the early forties the European War escalated into a Second World War when Japan and America, joined the party. It soon became apparent to Coca-Cola that the blackness of their sugary sweet drink had mixed and morphed with the blackness in Hitler’s soul to create a war and Coke hungry dictator who was fighting against

Fanta was in invented in 1943 after a trading ban was implemented on Nazi Germany by the Allies. Therefore, the German Coca-Cola company was unable to import the syrup over that is used to make Coke, instead deciding to create their own product with the leftovers of the leftovers they had lying around. Max Keith, a German-born owner of Coca-Cola in Germany, came up with the idea; the name “Fantasie” was pitched, later shortened to Fanta, and the rest is history…secret history. (Fuck Nazis. Fuck ‘em in the ass. Ed.)

Social Sport Take a Number, Wait in Line enter online or at the rec centre

www.asbsocialsport.co.nz

GET A BUNCH OF YOUR MATES TOGETHER TODAY!

• • • Be active, be social – games for all abilities Netball • Soccer • Volleyball 12

During 1939, Europe was once again in violent turmoil with the beginning of yet another European war – this one beginning with Hitler’s occupation of Poland and Czechoslovakia. However, also at this time, American soft-drink giant Coca-Cola Limited was still supplying Nazi Germany, its second biggest market, while also selling bottles in America which

Coca-Cola weren’t the only American company making money off other peoples suffering like the mainstream media of today, IBM also worked with the Nazis except they weren’t just selling soft drinks.

At the time of World War Two, IBM was the biggest owner and seller of punch cards and punch card sorting systems which could contain all of an individual’s personal details on one card. Along with scanning systems and railroad technology, IBM helped the Nazis carry out their plans of genocide more than any other company in the Western World.

IBM punch cards and punch card sorting systems were used in the

concentration camps throughout Germany and Nazi occupied Europe. IBM developed customdesigned cards used by the Nazis with as many as 1.5 billion punch cards being produced in Germany annually.

At the time, IBM was a worldwide monopoly owned by Thomas Watson in Germany. Watson has been described not as a fascist, but as a ruthless profiteer.

Without the help of IBM, the Nazis would not have been able to carry out their plans with such ruthless, soulless efficiency. (Fuck Nazis.

Fuck ‘em in the ass. Ed.)

YOUR: WSU

Prez Sez To the WSU Class of 2010, Welcome to your first year at the University of Waikato. The next few years of your life will be dedicated to the cause of learning, the sharing and mooting of ideas and thoughts, the meeting of new people and their cultures from all over the world, and taking part in what you will hopefully remember as being one of the best experiences of your life.

Despite the focus of achieving academic excellence and the countless late nights you

But WSU isn’t just about you having fun—we

will experience trying to keep a deadline, always remember that there is more to university than just study. And that is where your Waikato Students’ Union (WSU) is significant: we contribute to your university experience by creating a campus environment where the social interaction of students and the provision of entertainment for you is a goal. The best example of this if your WSU 2010 Orientation Week!

you can’t survive (it’s happened!).

WSU partly owns Student Job Search (SJS)—so get a job! We partly own the Uni Rec Centre—so hit the gym! We partly own University Sport NZ—so sign up for The Tribe, our world-famous Uni-Games team. If you want to start a student club, come to us (e.g. the Super-Duper Sightseeing Club)!

I give you all this challenge for 2010: if you think something should be done about anything that

don’t just provide free feeds, events or prizes.

We’re much more than that. We represent you and your concerns at local (the University), regional (the Waikato Region) and national (Parliament) levels. We’re the people to turn to if you run out of food for the week, if you can’t pay your power bill or your rent, if you can’t afford your dentist, if you’re having a problem with an anal lecturer or tutor, or even if you’re flat burns down during semester and you think

impacts you and your academic career at the University of Waikato, come and see us. If the university says no to you, come and see us!

After all, you own us, we belong to you, and we’re here to help you succeed at all levels of university life—even if that means buying you a cold beer. Or glass of wine.

Enjoy WSU’s 2010 O-Week. It’s all for YOU. Deni Tokunai President Waikato Students’ Union

VP’s Speak Ko Hikurangi Te Maunga (My Mountain is Hikurangi), Ko Waiapa Te Awa (My River Waiapa), Ko Ngati Porou, Te Whanau A Apanui, Whakatohea oku iwi (My tribes are Ngati Porou, Te Whanau A Apanui, Whakatohea), Ko Te Whanau A Ruataupare Te Hapu (Te Whanau A Ruataupare is my sub tribe), Ko Tuatini Te Marae (my Marae is Tuatini), Ko Glen Delamere Toku Ingoa (Glen Delamere is My Name) Kia Ora Everyone! I am Glen Delamere and I am your VP for 2010. A bit about me: I like long walks on the beach in the rain and cried when Jack Dawson slipped away to die in the cold Atlantic waters leaving Rose to survive…YEAH RIGHT! The first person to e-mail me the movie will get to have lunch with the VP; I know, it’s not the greatest prize but hey, it’s free food!

My role as Vice President is to assist the President and Directors by helping to organise some of the administration aspects of governance. I also assist with many of the

weekly activities that occur: arranging WSU board meetings, offering direction, answering queries, and clarifying why some things happen the way they do. I sit on some of the University committees (Student Campus Building Trust, Alumni and Library) in lieu of the President as he finds it a bit difficult to be in two places at once. That said, he could send his identical twin brother Robbie: hmmm, is it really Deni in the office today?

As well as doing the VP stuff, I am also in charge of the GLBT portfolio. In my spare time, I also look after the Tauranga Campus which fortunately has two Directors studying there this year (Lisa Anderson and Carl Halberg) so our profile has increased by 200% or something like that - I’m studying Management, not Maths…If you are looking for me I will be either in the VP office or the fella walking around campus in shorts with no shoes and a baby. Alternatively, flick me an email at vp@wsu.org.nz

OPEN: 8.30am-4.30pm PHONE: 07 856 9139 WEB: www.wsu.org.nz 13

YOUR: WSU

About the WSU Portfolios

14

Introducing the 2010 WSU Board of Directors GLEN DELAMERE

MIKE HALL

Portfolio: GBLT Students

Portfolio: Halls of Residence

Along with being your Vice President, Glen also has taken on the role of GBLT Officer for 2010. As a result, Glen’s job is to engage with, represent and support GBLT (Gay, Bi-Sexual, Lesbian and Transgender) students on campus. He also has the job of ensuring that the WSU recognises and deals with GBLT issues on campus, primarily by liaising with the GBLT club ASKEW. You can email Glen at GBLT@wsu.org.nz

As Halls of Residence Officer, Mike’s job is to make sure that students living in the halls are represented on the WSU and that halls of residencerelated issues are brought to the WSU’s attention. Mike also holds the Environmental Associate Portfolio, so will be working with Sam on a number of activities in 2010. You can email Mike at halls@wsu.org.nz

YOUR: WSU

DAN MORALES LUKE CLAASEN

Portfolio: Sport and Recreation

Portfolio: Mature Students

Dan’s job, as Sport and Rec Officer, is to encourage greater student participation in sports and recreational activities; primarily by making sure that sport and recreational activities are available to all students at all levels of participation. Consequently, Dan will be working heavily with our Clubs Co-ordinator and will be taking an active role in planning Waikato’s entry in UniGames 2010. You can email Dan at sport@wsu.org.nz

The WSU has portfolios as a means of ensuring that differing student views are accounted for in the decision-making process of the Board. Many of the portfolios are made up of minority groups whom YOU have told us need some means of representation or voice at a Board level.

However, these portfolios are not set in stone: if you think you belong to a group that needs specific representation on the board then please bring it our attention!

In addition to being your incredibly suave-looking Vice President Maori, Luke is also in charge of the Mature Students Portfolio for 2010. Although he is not yet a mature student himself, Luke is confident that he will be able to ensure that the WSU considers the needs of Mature Students at the University of Waikato, whether this is through ensuring that Mature Students have their own space on campus, administering scholarships for Mature Students or simply by listening to what Mature Students have to say and helping them out. You can email Luke at mature@wsu.org.nz

Students are often represented on multiple portfolios: for example, a 37 year old, male, bi-sexual, international student who lives in the halls is directly represented by no fewer than five WSU Directors (Luke, Carl, Glen, Charlie and Mike)! However, if you want to bring something to the WSU’s attention, you can approach whomever you wish: each of the WSU Directors is here to represent you in 2010.

CARL HALBERG

KATE MAGAZINOVIC Portfolio: Women’s Issues As Women’s Issues Officer, Kate’s key jobs are to ensure that the WSU recognises and values female students on the University of Waikato campus, and to make sure that women are fairly represented on campus and in the wider community. Kate also holds the GBLT Associate Portfolio, and, as she is a woman of many talents, she also happens to be on the Chaplaincy Committee as well. Go Kate! You can email Kate at womens@ wsu.org.nz

Portfolio: Men’s Issues As Men’s Issues Officer, Carl’s job is to make sure that male students are represented and valued at the University of Waikato and in the wider community. Holding the Men’s Portfolio also means that Carl is in charge of MASH, or ‘Male Advocates for Sexual Health’. The Waikato Students’ Union is actually one of the few student organisations out there with a dedicated Men’s Officer, so make the most of Carl in 2010! You can email Carl at mens@wsu.org.nz

SAM LAKE Portfolio: Environment Sam, as Environmental Officer, has the job of promoting and raising awareness of environmental issues to University of Waikato students, whether this is by giving away free recycling bins, finding a space for a student garden or encouraging you all to take the bus. Sam is also the Associate Sport and Rec Officer for 2010. You can email Sam at environment@wsu.org.nz

CHARLIE GILLARD Portfolio: International Students Charlie, who is a past exchange student, is your International Officer for 2010. His job is to represent international students on the WSU and to ensure that their specific needs are catered for. This takes the form of liaising with the international centre, organising events for international students, and bringing international student-related issues to the WSU Board’s attention. You can email Charlie at international@wsu.org.nz

TOKO BAKER Portfolio: Disabilities Tena Koutou Katoa! Toko, your 2010 Disabilities Officer, is a disabled student himself and is a keen follower of the saying “don’t dis my abilities!” His key job as Disabilities Officer is to ensure that the WSU represents lobbies and advocates for the needs of disabled students on campus and in the community at large. You can email Toko at disabilities@wsu.org.nz

LISA ANDERSON Portfolio: Campaigns As your 2010 Campaigns Officer, Lisa is in charge of making sure that the WSU recognises and participates in campaigns that affect Waikato University students. She also has the job of making sure that tertiary issues affecting students are represented on campus and in the wider community. Lisa is also a Tauranga student, so is a point of call for students studying on the ‘other side’ of the Kaimai’s. You can email Lisa at campaigns@wsu.org.nz OPEN: 8.30am-4.30pm PHONE: 07 856 9139 WEB: www.wsu.org.nz 15

YOUR: WSU

What do we do for you?

WSU activities fall into four key areas:

Representation

As we’ve already mentioned, every student at Waikato is a member of the WSU. Because of this, the WSU is deemed to represent a ‘key stakeholder’ of the University (ie: YOU as a student) and has a huge amount of input into university policy-making. We sit on all the top boards and fight to make sure that students are not forgotten at the upper levels of the university.

Advocacy

One of our key services at the Waikato Students’ Union is that we provide a free Advocacy Service for students of Waikato University. Our advocates’ job is to represent (or advocate for) students with whatever issues they bring forward; whether this be university-related issues (for example: plagiarism), personal issues (for example: landlord issues) or hardship issues (for example: help paying the unexpected dentist’s bill).

Clubs

Some people think that clubs are for old ladies who like playing bingo or knitting sweaters for their ten cats. A WSU Club, however, is simply a group of people who have similar interests and meet regularly over those interests. We have over 40 different clubs, which includes cultural clubs (for example: the Hispanic Club), activities-based clubs (for example: the Poker Club), sporting clubs (for example: Waikato University Rowing Club) … the list goes on. So next time you feel like making new friends, come down to the WSU and join (or start) a club today!

Events

Throughout the year, the WSU run some awesome events for you to enjoy. We organise Orientation, B Semester Fiesta, two end-of-semester parties and we’re down on the village green every Wednesday keep campus culture buzzing. Just take a look at some of the photos to the right to see some of the events we’ve put on in the past, and remember: if you think of an awesome event that we could run, come and let us know!

16

WSU:Who are we?

For those of you who are new to Waikato, congratulations on making a great choice! And to those of you who are back for another year, welcome back! As a University of Waikato student, you are also automatically a member of the best student association in the country: the Waikato Students’ Union! Whether you are admiring the pristine uni lakes in Hamilton, are enjoying the new building over in Tauranga, or perhaps even studying as a distance learner in the Wairarapa, we at the WSU work to represent you, and to make sure that your time at the University of Waikato is a time that will always stick with you.

The way it works: You belong to WSU, and WSU belongs to YOU! Every student pays a small fee of $95 which enables us to do the work that you set us to do. YOU can play a role in that by coming to our board meetings, voting at our meetings (AGMs and SGMs), electing the people that you want to be involved (or running yourself), contributing to Nexus, joining a club, or just dropping into the office and helping out!

What we do: Aside from the awesomeness of O’Week, WSU brings you something fun to do every week of the study year… we feed you, we entertain you, we even go to parliament and fight for you! Most of our work is set by you guys at our annual general meeting which is held in September each year. So if there is something that the WSU isn’t doing which you think it should be, take a walk down to the Student Union Building and let us know!

Vagina Monologues Auditions

Audition Info

Do you love vaginas? Well here at the WSU, we sure do, and we’re providing you with the opportunity to tell the world... well, the rest of campus at least. Auditions for the 2010 WSU production of The Vagina Monologues are on their way

Auditions take place in the Guru Room, 1pm on Wednesday 10th March For more information email womens@wsu.org.nz

Lettuce O-Week Sucks

Write to Win! SEND LETTERS TO: Send your letters to editor@ nexusmag.co.nz

WEEKLY PRIZE: The letter which we choose to be the best each week wins a $20 Bennett’s voucher!

FORUM LETTERS: Letters may also be sent via the letters thread at forums. nexusmag.co.nz.

We always have space for more letters, whether it’s a complaint or a high five or

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication.

We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence.

We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be). Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

18 18

Dear Nexus, I see the parasite that has managed to leech onto pretty much everyone I know has managed to crawl under your skin too; living there, connected to your body and drinking your blood like some kind of living, breathing cancer… Oweek. Sure.

It’s like a brand new obsession that re-occurs year after year. Like Christmas or Valentine’s Day… but worse; instead of tinsel and fucked up Hallmark cards, there’s a million or so pamphlets for free booze, followed by gallons of vomit. The putrid cycle of devolution, this endless voyage into the chasm of man’s discontent.

O-week becomes a communist, alien dictator that manages to infect everyone aged 18 to 21 and turn them into lobotomized machines who want nothing better than to jive to bad 80’s music and slide around in foam. All of a sudden their inhibitions dissolve like a pig’s heart in battery acid and they morph into over enthusiastic shaken-toddlers.

I feel like I’m caught in this never-ending dubgig, and everyone’s just standing there, swaying to the same basic sound over and over again, like a very slow moving sea of debauchery. A sloth on a shooting spree; a turtle on meth… a snail preying on old ladies in the parking lot of a Woolworths…

What the hell is up with the music scene these days anyway? Besides dub that is- there’s that whole indie cluster-fuck-train to nowhere that

tends to continually collapse on itself… only to be born again with music and fashion stolen off older generations. Now all the kids look like drunk nurse-maids who got dressed in the dark. Saw a girl wearing short shorts and leggings once… ever heard of pants? Or is the act of wearing pants somehow beneath the alternative; the rambunctious few who have managed to claw their way out of the proverbial prison called mainstream. That select few million that are so apart from the rest of us who are still content to sit on the deck of our own sinking ship; pop, punk, grunge; emo… whatever. So beneath you and your clear designer Raybans as you yell at me from across Garden Place.

Anyway… what was I saying…

Oh yeah… Screw O-Week.

Some days I just wish I could physically divide by zero.

S2

YOUR: LETTUCE

Txts to the Editor!

Christians Sucks Dear Ed Once again term is starting and once again Christian groups are already marauding around campus in packs handing out mints and trying to convert people to their insanity.

They would be cute in a sad and pathetic way, except for their desire to push their insanity upon the naive first years. Just because Christians share a delusion is no reason they should try and impose it upon me. Just like drug addicts, they want to make everyone mental cripples like themselves. Organised religion is always about money, power and control. Just because some lunatic makes up a god, it does not make it real and it does not

give them the right to try and ruin my life. So piss off and take your delusions with you.

What the fuck are Christians doing on campus anyway? They don’t believe in truth, integrity or honesty at all. So if you are a Christian and try to give me a mint or a chocolate fish, don’t be surprised if I kick you in the groin in self defence.

Regards A loving theist

Nothing Sucks Dear Editor, The anticipation is killing. As a newly minted first-year, I wasn’t sure what to expect coming on to campus. There’s all the stairs, old buildings and then right in the middle: a construction site.

The university is adding on to its library.

This is exciting. But I had to wonder, when all the hammering and digging be finished?

And more importantly, why are we adding to the library when books are dying. What will we do with the structure when students have to buy a kindle to read their books electronically? Will it become a museum? A dance hall? A bomb fire?

Another overpriced cafeteria? The options are endless. But would we be spending millions on a glass-latticed building if it’s future belonged

Don’t forget: You can send Busted pictures in by pxt! Send us your best snaps of you or your mates in Busted-type situations to 021 235 8436.

Agony Art Sucks to the low-fat, no whip, double shot caramel macchiato set?

Just a thought.

But I am excited. Whatever might be said about University students – I am looking forward to experiencing everything this place has to offer.

From O’Week to student loans to graduation, this should be fun.

Regards Enthusiastic.

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Dear Nexus You had better not leave Agony Art out this year or I’ll smash you in the face. For serious. He’s so disgusting that I need him in my life.

It’s like being addicted to smoking: it’s gross, but you’ve just got to do it you know?

Pervert Fan.

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RANDOM:MAGIC

Magic 8 Ball Will it ever be cool to be Ginger?

My Reply is No. History is fraught with Rangas being thrust away from society, famously culminating with Ginger Spice being kicked out of the Spice Girls, and that sort of long-standing tradition can’t be thwarted without some amount of social unrest.

So Ginger kids: as if the permanent red skin gained from a summer watching the popular kids have fun at the beach wasn’t pain enough,

I’ve seen that chick who works at Bar 101 looking at me, is she totally keen?

Reply Hazy, Try Again.

I can’t see past the throng of other guys standing round the bar who think they have a chance. Come back later with some real evidence.

you now have to live with the knowledge that you’ll never be the one.

On the one hand, rocking a gold medallion over your liberated chest is the perfect way to make you look classy while standing around the barbeque with your Waikato in-hand, this we all know. But if I see one more douchebag showing off his guns in a tight v-neck Ed Hardy shirt, sporting a beaded shark’s tooth necklace he says he got in Hawaii but actually got from the Frankton markets, I may shoot myself. Bret Michaels, you disgust me.

Is Edward Cullen the epitome of Sex-On-Legs?

Ask Again Later.

I haven’t seen New Moon yet. I hear that the hairy one takes his shirt off in the movie, so perhaps next to him, Captain Eyebrows will simply look like scum. Amazingly tousled hair on scum.

Is jewellery acceptable on a man?

Cannot Predict Now.

What’s the deal with facial hair? Do girls like it?

Better Not Tell You Now. Knowing the answer to this question would upset the natural balance of relationships as we know them. Firstly, girls would no longer be able to use the ‘I’m not really a fan of facial hair’ excuse to get rid of dates with shockingly boring guys. Secondly, ugly dudes wouldn’t be able to use fancy beard-and-mo combos to hide their grotesque selves, as they have been doing for centuries. The consequences of telling you this answer would devastate Axl Rose’s chances in life.

21

RANDOM:NEXUS

WANT TO BE

THIS COOL? WRITE TO EMAIL: NEXUS@ WAIKATO.AC.NZ

ON HOW TO BE COOL ZARDOZ COOL.

Nexus is constantly on the look out for fresh meat.

Lurking in your lecture theatres, in the dark corners of your favourite pub, at your flat, in J basement and anywhere else students are sure to roam.

We are keen to hear what you have to say. Even if you haven’t written before, your stories and your opinions are of value to us.

We’re in need of newsos, musos, artoes, wordsmiths, organ donors, photographers, poets, assistants, media analysts, snitches, reviewers, designers and basically any student with a pulse and all it will cost you is some time.

Contributing for Nexus can help you build up a portfolio of work and is great real world experience for that big job interview at the end of your degree.

If there’s something that you think should be in Nexus but isn’t, come do it for us!

For more information check out nexusmag.co.nz or email our editor at nexus@waikato.ac.nz.

22

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FEATURE INFORMANT

This bill not about choice.

VSM A Very Stupid Move id you see the students march on parliament? Did you see the thousands demand the right to lose their advocacy services, their orientation, and their collective voice? Did you see thousands of feet move as one?

No? Well, that’s because there were no protests, no petition, no wide spread requests.

But that hasn’t stopped ACT MP Roger Douglas claiming he speaks for the students in introducing the Education (Freedom of Association) Amendment Bill, which is currently before the Education and Sciences Committee.

The bill will make all student unions voluntary organizations.

On first glance, that seems like a good idea. We all like choices.

But the reality behind the bill is fewer services costing each student more. And worst of all, no student voice when the University makes decisions.

President of Waikato Student Union, Deni Tokunai, says any student that walks through the union’s doors can access the services offered by the organization. That may change if the union is forced to go voluntary.

“If this bill is passed, we wont be sustainable,” he says. “We rely on student membership to function. We will have to look at what we can keep and what we have to do away with.”

Tokunai says the union simply won’t be as effective as it is now.

“WSU offers a lot of things,” he says. “The most significant is student representation, a student voice. We sit on about 22 boards and that’s more than the university’s vice chancellor.”

The second strength of the union is advocacy, he says.

“This is one of the more valuable services we offer. We help with food grants, hardship grants and support. The other major aspect is the campus experience. For example we organise events, the calendars and orientation. These are important things for students starting out in tertiary education. If there’s no WSU that means there’s no orientation.”

The Waikato Student Union fee is $95.

“Students get a shitload of services for what they pay,” he says.

A voluntary union would mean campaigning for members, a reduction in services and those that do join would end up paying for advocacy and representation enjoyed by everyone.

25

FEATURE INFORMANT

In the end, this debate is about services for students. These services will still have to be delivered to students. Someone is going to have to provide them, and the students are going to have to pay more.

1989

Labour Government passes the Education Act into law. This includes clause 16A which makes student unions compulsory.

26

“We give students a national voice. We fought for interest free

read Nexus, have a free diary and wall planner are all due to support

Some services will have to be provided, regardless.

student loans – for example.

We also got Labour to agree to universal student allowance before the last election. Sure, unions can go voluntary, like Auckland University’s union. But we have to remember Auckland is very limited in what they can offer. And they have to campaign for students to sign up. They might get 5000 – 6000 members and that small group ends up paying for the other 24,000 students.”

Former president of WSU and current co-president of the New Zealand Association of Student Unions, Pene Delaney says our local union has a lot to be proud of.

“Students’ associations like WSU offer valuable services and representation to students across tertiary institutions and represent an integral part of the tertiary education experience,” he says.

“The fact that people are able to

given by the WSU.” Voluntary student membership poses a serious threat to these services.

“The changes proposed in the Douglas Bill would have a devastating effect on the welfare of students in New Zealand as well as weaken the student voice,” says Delaney.

He points to the Australian experience as an example of voluntary membership doing more harm then good.

“In Australia there is considerable evidence of how voluntary student membership has led to significantly negative effects on student representation, campus social life, the provision of advocacy services, and on student engagement. In fact Waikato went through a period of voluntary membership also which saw a major decline in services offered by the association.”

“Tertiary institutions may be forced to divert funding from core teaching and research to continue services and welfare previously provided by the students’ association.”

Douglas first introduced the voluntary student membership bill to parliament last year. Just four pages, the bill will amend the Education Act (1989) if passed.

MPs debated the bill in September and predictably voted along party lines. National, Act and United Future voted for the bill to go to the next step, the select committee.

The Labour, Greens, Maori Party and Progressive MPs voted to stop the bill in its tracks. Just six votes in it, the right won.

Newly minted Green MP Gareth Hughes says the bill will have a negative impact on student services.

“There will be a drop in services and in student representation

National pushes through an amendment allowing VSM under the condition that: a) 10 percent of students signed a petition to force a referendum, and b) a majority of students in the referendum voted for VSM.

Students at Victoria University, University of Waikato, University of Auckland and Unitec held referendums on Voluntary Student Unionism. All but Victoria went voluntary.

Amendment to the Education Act (1989).

The fee from any student that “opts out” of the compulsory student unions must be paid to a charity rather then back to the student.

FEATURE INFORMANT

The Australian experiment

at universities – we just have to look at the Australian model,” he says. “In the end, this debate is about services for students.

These services will still have to be delivered to students. Some one is going to have to provide them, and the students are going to have to pay more.”

Student associations provide these services in a democratic and transparent way, says Hughes.

“There have been some silly faux pax’s but that’s the case with most business or organizations. These unions are audited, democratic and student-run. And it’s not broken, so why change it?”

Hughes says of the three tertiary institutions that went voluntary at the end of the nineties, two have gone back to universal membership.

“This is an attack on student services based on an ideological position. And it’s not wanted.

That’s the message we are getting from students.”

A referendum is held on the University of Waikato campus.

Students vote to return to compulsory unions.

In 2005, the Australian Government introduced voluntary student union membership across the country.

Since then two major studies have been conducted independent of

resources away from teaching and research. Other institutions who let their students’ associations wither or die have had to contend with the hidden costs of services provided by associations, dealing with a

the student unions, including one by the Australian Department of Education. The studies confirm the negative impact of voluntary unions on students.

In Australia, VSM stripped $218m NZD from student services and amenities, causing a widespread decline and in some cases closure of health, counseling, employment, childcare, welfare and academic advocacy services. Nearly all of the unions that maintained or only partially reduced services did so by accepting substantial funding from their institutions meaning all students continued to fund the associations’ activities. Students are now paying through their fees and through user pays service.

Voluntary student unionism also placed pressure on tertiary institutions. Some stepped in to take over the responsibilities of their students’ associations or provided them with substantial financial support, drawing

substantial increase in low level inquiries previously handled by student advocacy services.

To try and stem the predicted flow of service cuts on regional campuses, the Australian Government established a $120m NZD VSM “transition fund”. The money is nearly spent but service levels are substantially down. VSM was introduced with promises of saving students money and giving them meaningful control over their associations. The result has been the opposite: fewer services, higher costs across the board and $120m NZD lost.

SOURCES: www.dest.gov.au/sectors/higher_ education/publications_resources/ profiles/The_Impact_Voluntary_ Student_Unionism_Services_ Amenities.htm#abstract

and http://saveourservices.org.nz/ history.html

2007

Unitec votes to return to compulsory unionism.

Roger Douglas’ private members bill on VSM is pulled out of the hat.

Parliament begins to debate the issue again

March 31. Submissions close on the VSM issue. It will then be up to the select committee to decide if the bill gets a second reading and is voted on.

27

FEATURE INFORMANT

The fact that people are able to read Nexus, have a free diary and wall planner are all due to support given by the WSU. The Green Party is working hard on making sure there are quality submissions to battle this bill, says Hughes.

On the other side of the fence David Bennett, National MP for Hamilton East, says his party supported the bill’s progress through to the select committee because it wanted to hear the public’s opinion on the matter.

“It’s an ACT bill,” he says. “We are waiting to see the submissions. I have had some students approach me, from both sides but VSM is not on our agenda. It’s a case of wait and see what happens at the select committee.”

The man behind the hotly debated bill says he wants students to be free to choose for themselves as individuals whether they wish to join a students’ association.

“Many students have been arguing for choice and freedom of association for a long time,” says Douglas. “The case for freedom of association is not dependent on any particular event or time, but is a principle that is a key component of human liberty.”

Douglas says his bill is about the good of the individual and not the collective.

“Of course, some students may be frustrated that other students

28

choose not to join a students’ association, but they do not have the right to force them to join,” he says. “The most vocal opponents that I have encountered have all been student politicians – people elected to positions of authority in the student union. It is unsurprising that such people are worried about actually having to convince students to join the association. If they were doing a great job and students valued the work that they did, then they would have nothing to worry about.”

The WSU president says in the end the debate is not about the choice to be part of a union or not. It’s about the reality of what will happen without the services offered.

“The name of the bill is misleading, the act doesn’t provide for choice,” says Tokunai. “Right now unions aren’t compulsory – you can opt out. And 10 per cent of students can vote to change the system to voluntary, like they did at Waikato in 1999. But if the bill is passed it will become law. No student will have a choice. Post VSM the 10 per cent referendum wont be an option. It’s a sneaky name – this bill not about choice.”

Roger the dodger The song “Money, money, money” was written for this man.

For those old enough to remember the term Rogernomics, the name Roger Douglas brings a sense of foreboding.

As Minister of Finance for Labour from 1984¬ until the end of 1988, Douglas cut agricultural subsidies and trade barriers, privatized public assets and moved to control inflation by controlling the cash supply.

But who is the man behind the slash and burn policies?

Sir Roger Owen Douglas was born on December 5, 1937 into a political legacy. Both his brother and father were heavily involved in Labour politics. He attended the University of Auckland – for free like all of his contemporaries - where he completed a degree in accounting.

Douglas entered parliament in 1969 as a Labour MP for Manukau and then became MP for Manurewa in 1978, When David Lange was elected Leader of the Labour Party in 1983, Douglas became the Party’s spokesman on finance.

But by 1988, some Labour faithful felt Rogernomics was moving too

far from the traditional values of the party. Forced to resign towards the end of that year, Douglas returned briefly in 1989 before Labour lost the 1990 election to National. Proving his Labour detractors right, National’s Ruth Richardson continued on with Douglas’s policies.

Out of favour with Labour, Douglas founded the Association of Consumers and Taxpayers in 1993 with Derek Quigley. With MMP looming, the association established the ACT Party, with Douglas serving as the party’s first leader but he soon gave the position up for his buddy Richard Prebble.

Douglas returned to the fold in 2008. He failed to win the Hunua seat but came into Parliament on ACT’s party vote.

Since then he has been sitting in the backbenches – and introducing policy that will impact students, though it has been over half a century since he was one.

He has also proposed reintroducing the youth wage. If passed young people will again become second-class citizens when working.

FEATURE INFORMANT

How to make a submission: It’s easy to make your voice heard on voluntary student membership. Here are three ways you can speak up:

1.

2.

3.

Or, you can come to the WSU offices

You can make a submission on-

You can fill out a post card at the

and make a full written submission.

line at http://saveourservices.org.

Waikato Student Union reception

There will be advisors on hand to help

nz/online-submission.html

– tick a few boxes to make your

you navigate the process and make

voice heard

sure student’s don’t get sidelined in the voluntary student membership debate.

Where can I get help?

Brian has been feeling very depressed. His doctor has prescribed anti-depressants. He wants to know if there are any support groups that could help him.

Here are some of the groups which could help.

Centre 401 Phone 838 0199 Graceway Phone 856 4266 Also there is a Depression Helpline which is available 24 hours 0800 111 757 Lifeline Waikato is also available 24 hours 0800 543 354

29

COLUMNS

Fashion Police

Idiot Review

This summer has brought life back to our skin with some major tan lines, (a pale reminder of what waits for us in winter) people in bikinis who really shouldn’t wear them in public EVER, those who should stay shirtless all year round and the revelation of some fucking bad tattoos.

The number of crap tattoos I saw at the beach this summer amazed me. Where the fuck are these retards getting there tattoos? So I asked Dylan who has a large Maori design on his arm where the lines never meet ( guess the tattooist never did connect the dots at school)and the lines looked like the tattooist had his last shot of meths a few days before the tattoo so was a little shaken up. The guy that did this work of art has a tattoo studio at home which means the guy has a set up in his kitchen with no sterilizer and no fucking clue what he’s up to.

“Make it idiot-proof and they’ll just build a bigger idiot.”

With the Kartal Cartel

So for you to get the best tattoo ever here are some tips from my bud Chaz Orr who owns the Love Thy Neighbour tattoo studio in Tauranga, also works at Hammerhead and does all my tattoos.

1. Home studio (aka in a kitchen) will equal disaster.

2. Ask how long the tattooist has been tattooing for. A good tattooist should have 3 years apprentice experience and 5years tattooing experience 3. Make sure the place is clean. All needles should come out of single packets.

4. A tattooist should be an artist: if you give him an idea and he can’t draw it up for you, then he sucks as a tattooist.

5. Get an idea of what style you like e.g old school, oriental, tribal and find a tattooist that specializes in that type of work.

6. Don’t just copy someone’s work be original and make it your own.

Some things in life can be easily solved like bad breath, a simple brush of the teeth and a tick tack, DONE! But misquoted lyrics from a band you hardly know tattooed on your hip is another story. Just because your mate’s uncle can give you a sweet deal on a tattoo doesn’t mean he’s going to be good. If you’re going to regret your first tattoo in 5 years make it a sweet tattoo.

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By Tsar Nich

Let’s face it. It’s a sad fact of life and one we’re all gonna have to admit to at one point or another… we’re idiots. Each and every one of us.

You’re an idiot. I’m an idiot. That fella sitting near you is an idiot and he’s probably thinking to himself ‘who the hell is that idiot looking at me like my fly is down’.

Is their fly down? Go ahead. Look. Take your time, I’ll wait.

And then again, you may be wondering “Hey! Who does this idiot think he is telling me I’m an idiot?” Indeed, I just insulted you, your fellow man and did it in the safe confines of his room with no pants on and a separate browser window open full of your mum’s porn.

In a nutshell, I’m just a better positioned idiot that’s been given the freedom to call you and your fellow men, women and miscellaneous out on their idiocy on a weekly review format and get paid nadda for it.

This of course brings me to my first subject for review... Me. Right now I’m writing this at three in the morning with a deadline looming and I’m wondering to myself “how idiotic was it of me to have agreed to do such a thing for a whole year?” Running with scissors retarded is the immediate answer that springs to mind, but one that only time itself with come to prove right or wrong. Can I keep this up for a whole year? Will my editor be a bigger idiot for allowing me such a self-forum to rattle on the masses? And in the end, who will be the true recipient of the prestigious idiot of the year award? The pitchfork wielding mob that’ll one day cry for my blood because they took these reviews too seriously, just because I like insulting mothers (after paying in cash for the service of course)? Or me for not wearing a pitchforkproof vest that day? Only time will tell.

COLUMNS

Romantic Alleyways

Minuit Hate Avatar!

The opposite sex is pretty difficult. They want flowers/sports things, chocolates/steak, compliments/fellatio, and this is once you actually manage to snag them. The sheer amount of work required explains why many upstanding Hamilton citizens choose to keep their intimate affairs restricted to romantic encounters at local drinking establishments.

Nexus was lucky enough to grab a few minutes with Paul from Minuit. Here’s what we found out.

Special K

One problem with meeting the love of your night (or hour) in town is the location of your inevitable coitus. The Hamilton city council has already thought of this and provided the citizens with many romantic alley ways in which two drunken people become one (drunken puking shooting squirting person).

Interviewed by Art

What are some of your thoughts on digital sales of music as opposed to being on a label with physical sales?

Digital is truly awesome. A band can put out an album ‘worldwide’ without a label! It lets you put music out without money getting in the way (big studios, promo, distribution, manufacture..) BUT it also means there is a shipload of music to wade through. Some you like, some you don’t. Its gonna get awfully full out there soon... and eventually flood and we’ll have to build arks that float animals above the amount of music that is out there and it’ll be built by the Chinese but mostly Americans will get on board... oh no hang on, that’s ‘2012’

Let’s begin our guide: Casabella Lane features a very romantic water fountain for those of us who enjoy a good water boarding. Further, the shape of the lions in the fountain make for a perfect prop over which to sprawl your semiconscious lover. The easiest way to find Casabella Lane is to follow the group of guys who are yelling “let’s go to Firecats and see some strippers!”, and take a left at London St. You will see it eventually.

The Ponchos Mexican restaurant features a very fine alley way. Many of you might just be coming to terms with the fleshy bits in your pants, but some are fine experts and need a little voyeurism, exhibitionism and sexual acts named after ethnic groups. Ponchos, located much too close to Bar101, is so public and seedy looking, that when you use it you are guaranteed that at least 7 men will join you, 2 will watch and everyone will try to do things they tried on the internet.

The Hood St car park is a hangout for longboarders and meth addicts.

One group is well hung while the other is very twitchy. The constant danger of having either one join will be as romantic as champagne oral, 12 dozen roses and elbow macaroni engagement rings. Also, the concrete is smooth and you don’t get alley-burn.

Are you ever surprised at the diversity of your fans? Screamo kids, dubstep and rap kids are all singing your praises online. How do you please so many youths?

YUP! Though not being in a scene, as such, is a positive. I’ve had full-on metal guys (and grrrls) come up at a gig to say “I hate electronic music, but that was farkin’ awesome!!!” Maybe it’s the lyrics: ‘I’ve got a bodyshaped box with your name on it.’ That gives me the freaks every time.

What’s the worst movie you have ever seen?

Its awesome if you know nothing about a movie and get blown away by it...and worst if its hyped up so much that it can only disappoint (even if it is good)....for instance 3D Avatar let me down a lot....that could have been a Disney movie....sheesh Minuit are playing this Friday night at Flow Bar, 266 Victoria Street.

Nexus has two double passes up for grabs. To win, perform a technodance in the Nexus office before Wednesday!

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COLUMNS

Welcome Message

By David Bennett

We would like to welcome to Hamilton all students that are about to embark on tertiary studies at the University of Waikato.

If you have relocated to study here from another city in New Zealand, or travelled here from another country, we hope that your time in our vibrant and student friendly city of Hamilton proves academically rewarding and

The University of Waikato is one of New Zealand’s leading universities and is committed to delivering a world-class education and research portfolio, whilst providing a full and dynamic university experience. Thank you for choosing to study at the University of Waikato, you have chosen well.

As the local MP for Hamilton East, of which the

help you. We deal with a variety of constituent concerns. We can be contacted on 834 3407 or by email at davidbennettmp@parliament. govt.nz.

Happy studying and enjoy your time here.

as a stepping stone towards your career path of choice.

University falls within, we would also like to let you know that our electorate office is here to

David Bennett MP for Hamilton East

Student Foods With Auntie Emma

Crispy chicken drumsticks These crispy chicken drumsticks taste so good, don’t cost a bomb, and won’t leave you with a gastric hangover like KFC will.

INGREDIENTS 6-8 chicken drumsticks (remove skin for a healthier version) 1/4 cup sesame seeds 1/2 cup flour 2 tsp chicken stock powder salt & pepper 1 egg, beaten 1 Tbsp water 25g melted butter or 3 Tbsp cooking oil

Combine sesame seeds, flour, 1 tsp of the chicken stock, and salt and pepper in a bowl or clean icecream container. Beat the egg with 1 tsp of the chicken stock mixture and 1 Tbsp water and pour into a cup. Coat chicken pieces in the flour mixture, dip each piece in the egg mixture and roll again in the flour mixture. Arrange chicken pieces in a baking dish and spoon over melted butter/cooking oil. Bake at 180°C for 1 hour, basting two or three times. (To baste, use a basting brush or spoon to brush/ladle the melted butter and chicken juices back over the chicken.)

Homestyle fries Transform plain frozen fries into KFC taste-alikes with this easy seasoning recipe. You can also use it on wedges or cubed potatoes if you don’t have fries on hand.

INGREDIENTS 2 Tbsp flour 1 Tbsp sugar 2 tsp chicken stock 2 tsp mixed herbs (or any dried green herb) salt & pepper 1 packet plain frozen fries 3 Tbsp cooking oil

32

Pour all the seasoning ingredients into a clean plastic bag (check it doesn’t have any holes). Add the frozen fries and shake in the bag to coat. Arrange in a single layer on a baking tray, drizzle with cooking oil and bake according to packet instructions.

COLUMNS:AUTEUR

Auteur House Presents With Richard Swainson

Luise Rainer just turned 100. Though her name is hardly a household word these days - and hasn’t been, in fact, for over 70 years - in the late 1930s Rainer became the ďŹ rst performer to win back-to-back Oscars. What happened next wasn’t pretty: marital problems, poor roles and a falling out with her studio, MGM, all conspired to effectively end her career. The Best Actress of 1936 and 1937 was all washed

Gloria Stewart, who played the old lady part in “Titanic� as well as the lead role in the 1934 version of “The Invisible Man�, and Olivia de Havilland, who debuted in 1935 but who didn’t achieve real stardom until emerging from the shadow of Errol Flynn, establishing her acting credentials in “Gone with the Wind�.

The fact that Rainer is cogent enough to this month publicly introduce “The Good Earth�, the

telephone, all the time crying on the inside. It is a beautifully observed moment in an otherwise rather overblown, stock biopic.

up by 1943.

Survival, of course, ranks as the sweetest revenge. Rainer might not have enjoyed the satisfaction of 60 years or signiďŹ cant part thereof at the top like her contemporaries Garbo, Crawford, Davis, Stanwyck and Hepburn, but she is the one left standing two decades into the twenty ďŹ rst century. The only comparable other ďŹ gures left from that era are

second of her award winning ďŹ lms, is a sign that not only does she continue to breath but that she knows her own name as well.

Auteur House is proud to stock both “The Good Earth� and “The Great Ziegfeld�. Rainer’s Oscar in the latter has always been ascribed to a solitary scene. Playing one of Broadway producer Florenz Ziegfeld’s wives, she’s required to feign joy whilst talking to him on the

“The Good Earth� is another matter entirely.

Both the ďŹ lm and Rainer herself are truly memorable. Few epics from the golden age of Hollywood are as visually impressive, Karl Freud’s awe inspiring cinematography capturing the humble beginnings of a Chinese peasant family, its wretched decline during a period of famine and revolution and its eventual rise to wealth and empty opulence.

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You want to be open to every possibility, realise your strengths, grow and explore everything.

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33

REVIEW:COMIC

MK1 Smash!

With Chris “it’s in a plastic bag for a reason” Lander I have a dream that my time in the sun is coming. I can picture it now - feet firmly up in hammock, icy cold beverage at the ready and my chosen comics (or graphic novels if it pleases you) at hand. This retailer’s Christmas break is traditionally mid to late Feb - strategically placed between sets of public holidays and before thoughts turn to end of financial year stock takes. Examining that dream a little closer - I can even picture which books I’ll be using to shade from the sun.

Don’t wait for the movie, go straight to source – not a sparkly vampire in sight, I promise.

The Scott Pilgrim Omnibus will be one great big satisfying read (or 5 manga sized digest reads if you can’t wait for the omnibus publication!).

Scott Pilgrim is 23 years old, in a band, lazy, likes video games and loves the new girl in town, Ramona Flowers. To win her heart, he has to defeat her seven evil ex-boyfriends. Like all good comics, SP has been optioned for a movie. Initial buzz is pretty good with Edgar Wright (of Spaced, Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz fame) as the director. Trust me - read the comic first. It’s good. Really good. A thousand Mk1 customers can’t be wrong! Plus when the movies a huge hit you can say you read it before SP was popular. And who doesn’t want to be that guy? I want to be that guy.

bought the local comic shop). The novel explores the comic book industry, with a fictionalized and veiled history of mainstream American comics - one told through the eyes of a town of comic loving New Zealanders.

Hicksville really is one of my all time favorite graphic novels - and its return to print is most welcomed!

hip hop and zumba

Hicksville is back in print! Kiwi cartoonist Dylan Horrock’s graphic novel is a tale of what we leave behind and what we climb all over, to get where we want to be.This tale will speak to the expat and Overseas Experienced, as well as those left behind - you know the ones who didn’t go to London but stayed in their home town and married their high school sweet heart (and

I’m staying with the local theme for my third pick. Expat Hamiltonian Greg Broadmore’s Dr.Grordbort Presents: Victory, the Boys Own Annual your grandfather didn’t tell you about. More than an art book, Grordbort has great fun storytelling and a dashing sense of steam-punk Victorian style.

This is the meat and potatoes background behind Weta Workshop’s extravagant Ray Gun Replicas. Mr Broadmore (involved in the art direction of the Riff Raff-Richard O’Brien statue) used to deliver his Dinosaur and Tank comics personally to Mk1 Hamilton. Now he has Americans to do that for him. Dr.Grordbort Presents: Victory will help you choose the right blunderbuss for your next endangered species hunting expedition.

All these books can be found in some good bookstores or at Mark One Comics.

Scott Pilgrim, Vol. 1: Scott Pilgrim’s Precious Little Life

By Bryan Lee O’Malley Published by Oni Press Mk1 Price $19.90 each

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Hicksville Dylan Horrocks Published by Drawn and Quarterly Mk1 Price $39.90

Dr. Grordbort Presents: Victory

By Greg Broadmore Published by Dark Horse Mk1 Price $39.90

REVIEW:GAMES

PWN3D Mass Effect 2

By Scammpy Developed by RPG kingpins BioWare and published by EA Games. You play as Commander Shepard, humanity’s last hope against total annihilation.

Your task is to find out why entire human colonies are disappearing throughout the galaxy, and how to prevent it from happening again.

Like its predecessor, ME2 is heavily story based and much of the storyline is determined by the decisions you make during the interactive narrative. You have a lot of influence on future events with what you choose (or not) to do and say. In fact, you can drastically change the galaxy before you even start playing ME2 through your actions in ME1, by importing your saved game.

complement each other’s and your own. I like that headshots really count and there is an interesting mix of combining hardware (conventional weapons) with psychic-like abilities (biotics and tech).

All dialogue in the game has been voice acted, and the quality is top notch. Martin Sheen, Carrie-Anne Moss and Seth Green are a few of the cast.

Conclusion: An impressive game and I believe it’s the first in which I have been able to probe Uranus (I’m 12).

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During conversations and cut scenes you are sometimes able to assert influence through three branch options: paragon, renegade and neutral. Paragon actions are generally passive and renegade are more aggressive. Unbalance your decisions in favour of renegade actions and your character becomes a bit of a douche. Favour paragon actions and they will become a blouse. You can remain neutral but it’s usually not as much fun.

It is easy to misunderstand what dialogue is going to be exchanged from the small sentences presented as menu choices; there were a couple of occasions when I selected something for my character to say only to have him say something completely different to what I had expected. For example: during a conversation with one of my crewmembers, they asked if I was interested in them. The option I selected was what I presumed to be the “let her down easy” option, but it turned out to be a “hey, I’d like to get to know you BEFORE I shag you rotten” line. The character then had a negative disposition towards my dude.

Although ME2 is primarily an RPG, the combat scenarios are decent. The action is paced well enough to keep all but perhaps the most hardcore first/third person shooter fans happy. Combat is squad based and you can balance your three-person team with members whose abilities 35

REVIEW:BOOKS

Kevin Pryor Goes Down on Books Dangerous Liaisons by Choderlos de Laclos You’re probably already familiar with the title of this French Masterpiece as the source novel for the popular Hollywood film of the same name.

As is usually the case though, the book is much better than the film, with the characters more fully sketched, having greater psychological depth, and the story is not handicapped by preposterous casting choices like Keanu Reeves playing an 18th Century French Chevalier.

If you are like me and have a stereotype of pre-20th Century literature as being weepy melodramas with spurned heroines crying into their scented handkerchiefs, you can rest assured this novel is not like that at all, and was burned by authorities of the time after publication.

The controversy stems from the two protagonists, a couple of 18th Century French

aristocrats, who are completely amoral, and are more cunning and manipulative than even the most ambitious politician. The difference between these characters and a politician however, is their motivation is not power, but simply their own pleasure and amusement.

A typical scheme the couple engage in is when the Marquise de Merteuil gets her cohort the Vicomte de Valmont to seduce the virgin fiancée of a man who has crossed her in society. He then spends several weeks initiating this seventeen year old convent girl in the fine arts of sodomy, fellatio and all the intricate tricks of a Paris bordello, before she is handed over to her new husband.

The seventeen year old also happens to harbour a secret, pure love for a young man her age, who the Vicomte befriends and helpfully provides advice to via letter. He usually writes

the letters to his young friend after fucking the girl who he is providing advice on how to court said young girl.

Essentially the duo, the Vicomte and the Marquise, are a couple of libertines, who pass their time by seducing and being seduced.

In the ingeniousness and diabolism behind their schemes lies the charm of the book. The narrative is entirely conveyed via letters, long beautifully written letters between the two, as well as the victims of their manipulations.

Overall this is a great book to get a hold of in your free time this year, so you can start schooling yourself up on how to generally start fucking with other people’s emotions, lives and loves. You may turn into a complete arsehole, but hey, at least like the characters in this book, you won’t be bored.

Kingdom beyond the Waves

By Stephen Hunt Kingdom Beyond the Waves is part of a current wave of steam-punk fantasy flooding the bookstores.

While I tend to avoid writing trends as a reader, particularly when it comes to historical romantic fiction and anything to do with vampires and tweens, I have found myself inexplicably drawn to the steam punk mythology of alternative industrial revolutions and fantastic creatures.

Phillip Pullman, China Mieville and Phillip Reeve have all created huge steampunk worlds, where magic and machinery co-exist and high adventure is the flavor of the day. Most of these writers are English and as such the Industrial Revolution in England two centuries ago has informed a lot of 36

Review by Simone Breastelli contemporary steampunk. Stephen Hunt has joined the fray with his “Jackellian series”, which are set in a world where revolutions and airships go hand in hand with a race of clockwork men and a pantheon of ancient and very real gods. The first book, Court of The Air, is only loosely connected to the second, so you can start reading the series pretty much any way you want.

A lot of people will see these books in the fantasy section of bookstores and think “Oh great, another story about dragons and elves and orcs” but I assure you, that couldn’t be further from the truth. As with most other steam punk authors, Stephen hunt doesn’t fall back on the tired

fantasy clichés of unicorns and goblins, but creates his own world and his own species, seemingly from thin air.

The main story of Kingdom Beyond the Waves is that of an archaeological mission up a forgotten river, not unlike Heart of Darkness, only instead of looking for a man, they’re looking for a ruined city they’re not even sure exists. In fact, if you took Heart of Darkness, crossed it with the Mummy and Lord of the Rings and then left it in a bath full of Charles Dickens, you would probably end up with this book.

The archaeologists travel upriver in an aged submarine into a landscape which I shan’t explain, only to say it is like nothing I have

ever read before. I can’t even begin to think of the places in his mind that the author has to go to create his writing. Kingdom Beyond the Waves had me slack jawed at times with the scope of the events and the pure imagination which brings this book to clanking, steam powered life.

36

REVIEW:FILM

Movie Reviews With Richard Swainson

Bright Star

Up In The Air

Thankfully an appreciation of “Bright Star” is in no way dependent on your knowledge of John Keats or the early 19th century school of scribes he is conventionally grouped with.

Campion isn’t that interested in producing the cinematic equivalent of Romantic Poetry 101. She is after the human drama of the man’s life. Specifically, Keats’ love affair with Fanny Brawne, his flatmate, secret betrothed, and, of course, muse. It is romanticism with a small ‘R’.

Campion being Campion the perspective on offer is more Brawne’s than Keats’. Casting young Aussie beauty Abbie Cornish is a stroke of genius. Flirtation, coquettishness, passion, anguish, and despair are all on display, often in the same scene. That Cornish was overlooked at Oscar nomination time is nothing short of a disgrace.

Then there is the problem of his friend and benefactor Charles Armitage Brown, a man himself smitten with Fanny and jealous of her influence over Keats. The three way tussle between the characters makes initially for much witty banter which soon progresses

This deft combination of character study, social satire and romance is very much a film of the moment.

Set against the backdrop of the American recession, its protagonist is a senior player in a firm that has never been so busy. George Clooney plays Ryan Bingham, a man who criss-crosses the continent charged with a task no one else wants: the job of telling other people that they’re fired. As one proud of the fact that he has reduced all material and personal ties to an absolute minimum Bingham tailors his lifestyle to his vocation, spending all but a handful of days in perpetual travel.

The film’s greatest strength is that it manages to side step the obvious. Hollywood scenarios about self-loathing loaners usually fall into the trap of redeeming their anti-heroes through love. Nothing so simple minded is going on here: while Bingham falls a hard for a similarly jet-setting woman there is no easy way of turning his life around. He might reconnect with his long estranged sisters but the extent to which he can reconstruct himself as a ‘family man’ is widely

Directed by Jane Campion into high drama as Brown seeks to keep the would be lovers apart, ostensibly to preserve his companion’s health.

For all that Campion’s reputation is associated with a certain kind of stylised screen eroticism “Bright Star” is peculiarly chaste. Keats and Brawne did not consummate their affair so there are no bodice ripping sex scenes. Instead you get something a lot more emotionally affecting: moments of intense, soulful closeness.

Aesthetically “Bright Star” is astonishing, an apt visual backdrop for the story of one who introduced the world to the idea that “beauty is truth, truth beauty”.

Rather than speculate too much on the circumstances of the poet’s inspiration Campion wisely places Keats amidst the glories of nature, in the arms of one he loves, and lets the audience fill in the gaps.

While some might complain that we learn too little about the man’s early life - there is no reference to his medical apprenticeship, for example - it is an approach that pays dramatic dividends. “Bright Star” is easily Campion’s best film since “The Piano”.

Directed by Jason Reitman

seen as limited. If you set out to play the role of bastard you’ll fall victim to your own success: superficial engagement with life can at best only lead to superficial happiness.

Writer-director Jason Reitman’s decision to use people who have recently suffered their own reallife job loss amongst the array of Bingham’s clients gives the satire a solid grounding, offsetting the type of easy cynicism that limited his debut feature “Thank You for Smoking”. There’s a Greekchorus like element to these folks’ monologues that packs a greater emotional whallop than you first expect, especially toward the end when some of the more poignant stories are revisited and expanded upon.

In a year when the box office went the way of science fiction and allegory, “Up in the Air” captures the zeitgeist like no other high profile release. It’s smart, funny and even a little bit political, giving fresh hope that Hollywood can engage with the issues of the day on an adult level without giving way to cliché.

37

LOCAL:GIGS

Gig Guide Send your gig listings to gigs@nexusmag.co.nz. We will print them for you! Seriously, send them. There’s got to be SOMETHING happening in this city.

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