Nexus '22 | Issue 06 | Fresh Produce

A+B TRIMESTER

STUDENT MEMBERSHIP

ONLY

$395 UP-FRONT

AVAILABLE UNTIL 31 MARCH 2022. TERMS & CONDITIONS APPLY. 12 MONTH, 6 MONTH AND FLEXI-TERM CONTRACTS ALSO AVAILABLE.

David Bennett List MP based in Hamilton East 510 Grey Street, Hamilton East 3216 davidbennettmp@parliament.govt.nz davidbennett.national.org.nz 07 834 3407

Authorised by David Bennett MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington.

FREE RANGE GRILLED CHICKEN CRISPY PANKO CRUMBED PICKLES CULLEY'S BUFFALO WING SAUCE STILTON SAUCE

NEXUS

Contents 05

Nā Te Ētita

06

News

10

Sports

12

The Fruit, the Patriarchy, and We

14

FOOD: A rambling incoherent...

16

Whelmed

17

Soapbox

18

Columns

25

Art Feature

26

Full Exposure

28

Dear Mature Student

30

Reviews

32

Entertainment

34

Snapped

35

Campus Fashion

36

Horoscopes

37

Puzzles

DISCLAIMER Nexus is a magazine made by students, for students.

As such it’s sometimes controversial views don’t actually represent those of the WSU, Nexus staff, the publishers, or the sponsors.

PRINTING Nexus only makes it to the stands thanks to the incredible team at Urban Print. We are proud that we are printed on 90gsm Sapphire Offset stock that is PEFC certified, biodegradable, recyclable and audited to ensure unsustainable sources are excluded.

LOCATION The Nexus offices are located down the hall at the WSU, usually with Alexa playing terribly dated music.

You can send correspondence to us at: Nexus C/O Waikato Students’ Union, University of Waikato, Ground Floor SUB Gate 1 Knighton Road Hillcrest 3216 @nexusmag

@te_purerehua 4

N.06 / V. 55

facebook.com/nexusnz Nexus Media Experience

社论 / NĀ TE ĒTITA

NEXUS

Boilup Politics This space, while to theme, is a space for me to talk about formative issues that affect you as students and to take on current issues that may be affecting the student population. With that being said, let’s discuss the politics of food, and how that affects different cultures. While I can only discuss this from my perspective, I still want to open that kōrero.

coming from. I’m not attempting to garner sympathy from you, dear reader, but help you understand the privilege of food.

Growing up for me meant simple meals, made for survival. It was never big kai or going out because we lived well below the poverty line. What does that mean you ask? Well, bread was and is a meal and it’s not something that you could be picky about. You realise quickly that you’re eating to survive when glasses of water replace nutrients needed to grow into a strong rangatahi, but is that the problem of your parents, or the society they’ve been thrust into?

I didn’t realise how divisive kai could be until I was in the dating world, navigating through privilege, understanding how that worked for me, and opening up with potential partners. For me, food isn’t something I care too much about - I’m not picky, and I certainly don’t care about ‘textures’ or ‘flavour profiles.’ This is why going out to eat ‘someplace nice’ doesn’t thrill me. An ex of mine had chastised me for choosing to eat Vegemite sandwiches as a birthday dinner option, without understanding the luxury that is spread on bread. For no apparent reason, their decision to tease and ridicule a decision for putting Vegemite on bread has stuck with me. Making someone feel less than for valuing simple pleasures just does nothing for the world; so why fucking do it?

I have a very hearty Māori father who did all he could with the sudden arrival of 2 growing boys, and he made meals seem more exciting than they actually were. Things like make your own kai night, consisting of eating tomato sauce and some onion and calling her gourmet. While I may not always see eye to eye with him, my dad always tried as hard as he could with what we had. Growing up Māori means, for me, big kai when we’re on the marae. It means eating as much as you can because you’re uncertain where your next meal will be

The way that I make my editorial space into such a sad diatribe about the harsh realities of growing up is far too much, but here’s what’s important for you to take-away (hah, food joke) from this: food can be the biggest nostalgic weapon in your life but it can also, like me, be the reason you are the way you are. Food is just food, but the memories attached to food can be some of the most formative. Remember that when you’re cooking a huge pot of spag bol and laughing with your flatties- those are memories you’ll cherish.

TEAM Ētita Jak Rāta etita@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor Features Tehana De Klerk tehana@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor News Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz Designer Wenyue Ruan - 阮文悦 wenyue@nexusmag.co.nz Stien Huizenga stien@nexusmag.co.nz Advertising & Communication James Raffan comms@wsu.org.nz Lara Dashfield lara@wsu.org.nz Contributors Anahera Harris Bronwyn Laundry Catlin Walters-Freke Eilidh Huggan Hannah Huggan Hannah Petuha Katrina Jones Keira McGregor Liam Hall Oliver Dunn Sarah Morcom Zian Volkov FRESH PRODUCE

5

NEXUS

WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Last Week This Week

by Jared Ipsen

Ahh, April- the days are getting darker, the air is growing colder, and the fog is starting to penetrate every part of our mind, body and soul until we, too, are a grey mass of dampness. Don’t you love Autumn? Anyway, here’s some news I guess: From next year, a new, more accurate Aotearoa history curriculum will be taught in schools. The new programme, titled Te Takanga o Te Wā (Aotearoa New Zealand’s histories), will be compulsory for students up to Year 10, and will more accurately cover the last 200 years of colonization in Aotearoa.

The Right Honorable Jacinda Ardern described the curriculum launch as one of her ‘proudest’ moments as Prime Minister, and Rawiri Wright, co-chair of the organisation overseeing Māori language immersion schools in Aotearoa, told Newshub “mō ngā tamariki kei ngā kura aunoa ko te tumanako ia he nui ngā akoranga, he nui ngā painga, ka rerekē anō te tirohanga ki te hītori tūturu o te whenua nei.”

Predictably, not all welcome the changes - in conversation with Newstalk ZB’s Andrew Dickens, ACT leader David Seymour described the new curriculum as “far too focused on a narrow, ideological view of history,” and that it would “divide people into victims and villains.” Some teachers have also expressed concern that some of their peers may not be equipped to actually teach the curriculum, or that their own ideologies would mean they wouldn’t take it seriously. In my opinion, it’s unfortunate that something as fundamental as the truth is being used like this in the political realm- just because you don’t

6

N.06 / V. 55

like the fact that the Crown violently seized this country a few short centuries ago and made a real and concerted effort to suppress and ultimately destroy Māori culture doesn’t make it untrue.

Sometimes I get disarmed by Seymour’s goonish, unthreatening charm, and then he says shit like that and I remember that he can be a fuckwit.

By the time you’re reading this, many of the Government’s vaccine mandates have been removed, including some of the more contentious requirements around compulsory vaccinations for those who want to eat in a restaurant or work in the public sector.

You will no longer have to scan in via QR codes or have your vaccine pass checked, and various limits on sizes of gatherings have either been lifted or increased. Even though the Labour Government claimed the mandates were always temporary, various anti-vax groups have either claimed victory, or pivoted into more unhinged conspiracies. Predictably, the buffoons at Voices For Freedom have started laying the foundations for entering politics (by asking for money lmao), and have also strangely started blasting out ‘poems’ to their email subscribers - I use the term ‘poem’ loosely, as just because you use a lot of line breaks doesn’t mean you are writing a poem.

A further protest against mandates was planned last weekend in Wellington, which was hindered by literally no one turning up.

Speaking of politics: this is kind of becoming a weekly feature at this point, but the National Party seriously, seriously needs to hire a decent PR agency. Thanks to an investigation by Christchurch City Councillor Sara Templeton, information gathered using the Harmful Digital Communications Act revealed that two members of Young

新闻 / WIHIRI NIUHI

Nats (the youth wing of Aotearoa’s right-leaning National Party) were behind a sustained harassment campaign of several female MPs. Using fake profiles, the Young Nat member sent abusive and hateful messages online, including calling an MP a ‘cunt,’ and compared another to a pig. As far as politics go, perhaps the Young Nats need a crash course refresher, as one of the first things you learn in POLSCI is to attack the policy, not the person. National leader and bald king Christopher Luxon told 1News that “National does not tolerate any bullying,” which will be an interesting standard to hold them to over the next year, considering their track record of bullying.

Speaking to Nexus, Councillor Sara Templeton offered some advice to any other wāhine that may be experiencing abuse online: “Firstly – take screenshots of everything, no matter how minor it seems at the time. Individual comments may seem minor and not meet a threshold, but showing a pattern of behaviour is important.

Secondly – know that you’re not alone, that it’s okay to admit that it hurts and to call it out. One of the hardest things for me about this process was to admit the harm, first to Netsafe, then the Court (and even harder on national TV), but it is the harm caused that will trigger any actions. It’s not easy and many will not have the capacity to act while abuse is happening – so enlist help, from friends etc.

Acting together is powerful.”

After 33 years, the controversial Waihopai ‘spy base satellites’ near Blenheim are finally being dismantled. Although few ‘official’ details about these satellites exist, it is generally understood that

NEXUS

they intercept various public and private communications that are then fed to other international intelligence agencies as part of the ‘Five Eyes’ network agreement. Protests against these spy domes have been ongoing since their inception, with a high profile case seeing the Government suing three protestors for over $1,000,000 for intentionally deflating one of the domes with a sickle. The Government Communications Security Bureau has repeatedly denied protesters claims that the information gathered was being used to enable 'torture, war, and the use of weapons of mass destruction.’ The truth, as always, is probably somewhere in the middle.

Lastly, a bombshell piece from Aotearoa journalist David Farrier has raised some serious allegations about ARISE Church. In the article, former members of ARISE claim they were, among other things, pressured to contribute financially to the church well beyond their means, and literally pay for the privelage of being an intern (read: providing ‘excessive’ unpaid labour), which I’m pretty sure is illegal and borders on child labour. I can’t really do the article justice in one paragraph, but I would encourage you to read it. I did think about adding my opinion on ARISE to this piece, but my mama always told me if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. ARISE Church made around $13 million dollars last year. I am reminded of something a very nice middle-eastern Jewish man said 2000 years ago: “it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God.”

FRESH PRODUCE

7

NEXUS

WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Small Town Short News

by Jared Ipsen

Yesterday I was at the bus stop when I looked over and saw someone reading Small Town Short News. I wonder what they were thinking did they love it? Did they hate it? Were they dreaming of stretching their cramped legs in endless seas of perennial ryegrass? Were they shocked to their core about that cow statue being vandalised? Did they just think it was kind of stupid? In any case, here’s more short news from our small towns. I hope you like it, bus stop stranger.

Residents had to evacuate their homes after a neighbour in Marokopa started a bonfire using their own shit. After receiving a letter from the Waitomo District Council to move their longdrop, a local resident thought they’d fix the problem by dumping its contents on to a rubbish fire. “[The neighbours] were all running and gagging,” a local resident told King Country News. “They had to sit out the back by the river until it had died down a bit. It was really funny.” Residents reportedly had to steer clear of the area for days until the smell lifted. At the time of writing, the longdrop is still there.

The kiwi population has grown considerably in the Coromandel.

There are 225 more kiwi than last recorded in 2009, pushing the number of kiwi around Mount Moehau to 489. The Department of Conservation say this increase is due to a collaborative predator control program, which focused on removing possums and stoats from the area. As well as kiwi, the Moehau ranges are also said to be the habitat of Patupaiarehe and the elusive Moehau Man, who my dad was so concerned about he made sure to warn us every time we drove through the area.

8

N.06 / V. 55

A new trial to see whether seaweed can help clean our waterways has begun. In the polluted Waihou River, Waikato uni students alongside Māori owned seaweed company AgriSea are growing sea lettuce in the hopes that it will soak up some of the more damaging pollutants in the water (like phosphorus and nitrogen). Many of our waterways in Aotearoa are polluted as a direct result of intensive farming and urban runoff, so hopefully seaweed will save us all, or at the very least, look cool floating around in the water.

Ten kōkako birds are being moved to Mount Pirongia in an attempt to bring them back to the maunga. Our beautiful blue wattled friends were all but eliminated from the area in the 90s by pest animals, but the Pirongia Te Aroaro o Kahu Restoration Society believes their pest control efforts over the last few decades will be enough to keep them safe. The top of Mount Pirongia is also believed to be home to the Patupaiarehe, who locals report they can hear laughing and singing on quiet nights.

Speaking of birds, DOC were surprised to discover a few of our local kākā have been going on massive roadtrips. For the last few years, the Department of Conservation and Manaaki Whenua have been tracking a few dozen kākā birds via GPS, and have made a few discoveries that have never been seen before. Kākā are known to generally not move around heaps, but last year, one of the birds went on a 1000km doitz around the Waikato that even saw it chilling out on a few islands in the Hauraki Gulf. The kākā was unavailable for comment, but DOC say it’s busy “zooming around having a look at the place.”

NEXUS

HĀKINAKINA / 运动

WHICH NBA PLAYOFF TEAM ARE YOU?

by Oliver Dunn LeBron's all-time best team mate?

Dwayne Wade

Best Jack Harlow song?

Tyler Herro

Miami Heat

Best group project partner?

Jimmy Butler

Anthony Davis

Do you follow LaMelo on Instagram?

Kevin Love What's Poppin Morrinsville or Te Awamutu?

San Antonio Spurs

Charlotte Hornets Morrinsville

Cleveland Cavaliers

Best uniform in the league?

Te Awamutu

Jazz music or Jazz men?

Grizzlies City Edition

Music Minnesota Timberwolves

New Orleans Pelicans

A guide to decide which NBA franchise to shamelessly support. Prepare your VPN for the tidal wave of illegal streams, lay down some outrageous predictions in the group chat and start sharing highlights to your story – the playoffs are here.

Men

Memphis Grizzlies

Utah Jazz

(with the fantastic addition of the play-in mini tournament, there are 20 eligible teams in total) Miami Heat Tyler Herro might have the worst facial hair in the league, but if anyone bullies him about it, Jimmy Butler will fight them.

San Antonio Spurs Pop is probably the greatest coach ever and Dejounte Murray is a fantasy basketball stud, but they’re just happy to be here.

Cleveland Cavaliers Somewhat ahead of schedule, the Cav’s big man rotation zags most trends, headlined by rookie sensation Evan Mobley.

Minnesota Timberwolves The one-two punch of KAT and Ant is a nightmare for any defence, but they’d be so much cooler if they didn’t scream for 20 minutes after every dunk.

10 N.06 / V. 55

Charlotte Hornets In the mix for one of the most exciting teams on League Pass, LaMelo and company populate most of Instagram, backed by the best commentator in sports.

New Orleans Pelicans 2021/22 has been more of a filler season for the Pelicans (think Bount arc in Bleach), but shout out to CJ.

Memphis can’t knock on the door of the Finals this year.

Chicago Bulls Thanks to a recent skid, there’s some question marks surrounding the new look Bulls. Maybe a fullstrength squad and some DeRozan miracles could change that.

Utah Jazz If you enjoy robust defensive anchors and passive aggressive post-game jabs you’ve found your home.

Atlanta Hawks Hawks have been all over the place this season but they’re still a team to avoid if scruffy panel beater Trae Young gets hot.

Memphis Grizzlies Perhaps the best uniform and most exciting player in the league and Steven Adams’ current digs. Despite being ahead of schedule, there’s no reason why

Dallas Mavericks Luka Doncic is maybe the best player in the league when he’s not busy burning off holiday calories or dislocating his limbs in order to sell a flop.

运动 / HĀKINAKINA

NEXUS

Was KD wrong for his move to Golden State?

Do you own an NBA jersey?

Are you vaccinated?

Golden State Warriors

Do you have Tik Tok?

Slam dunks or deep threes?

Best NBA2K of alltime?

Brooklyn Nets

Do you keep up with the Kardashians?

2K17

Boston Celtics

2K13 Dunks

Threes Big hands or big men?

Local or imported flops?

Phoenix Suns

Men

Imported Who's your MVP?

Jokic

Hands

Denver Nuggets

Local Dallas Mavericks

Bulls Icon Edition

Embiid Is Kawhi top 5?

Atlanta Hawks

Chicago Bulls

Giannis

Milwaukee Bucks

Toronto Raptors

Philadelphia 76ers

Los Angeles Clippers

Toronto Raptors Long and athletic across the board the Raptors are a major pain on defence and could poke a few holes in opponent line-ups thanks to Canada’s vaccine mandates.

Los Angeles Clippers If ‘Playoff P’ and Kawai are available, the Clippers could transform an otherwise placid first round into an absolute bloodbath.

Milwaukee Bucks Looking to repeat, the Bucks are heading into the playoffs with real momentum after a few big wins against fellow Eastern conference contenders. If Giannis continues to shoot above 70% from the line, it's hard to picture anyone more qualified for the championship this year.

Philadelphia 76ers Sure, the James Harden experience in Philly hasn’t been the smoothest so far, but it’s also a whole lot better than an empty roster spot. Embiid is a devastating two-way big who threatens to be the undisputed best player in whatever series he’s in.

Denver Nuggets Propped up on the shoulders of Nikola Jokic, the Nuggets continue to stay above water despite missing two of their top three players. Jokic’s dazzling display of passing and absurd stat lines aren’t likely to stop anytime soon.

Phoenix Suns Yes, Chris Paul is a nut punching grub but he’s also one of the greatest point guards to ever live. Maybe it’s time the ‘Point God’ got a chip.

Boston Celtics Following a miraculous mid-season 180, the Celtics are maybe the hottest team in the league right now thanks in large part to another leap from superstar Jason Tatum.

Golden State Warriors If the Warriors can field a full-strength squad they’re poised for a deep playoff run, reminiscent of old.

Brooklyn Nets Given ample time to burn sage pre-game and mandate wiggle room, the Nets look to overwhelm any first-round match-up with potent offenc e, but where’s the defence?

FRESH PRODUCE

11

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

12 N.06 / V. 55

特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

NEXUS

The Fruit, the Patriarchy, and We

by Hannah Petuha

Can we please stop sexualising fruits?

Popping the cherry. The aubergine emoji. The banana emoji. Peach = bunda. Sliced lemon or orange = vulva. Nice melons. Peaches and Cream. Are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs?

Fruits have become associated with women, and not in a good way. We know that in almost every setting women are sexualised.

That’s how the patriarchy and the male gaze goes. We see it in films, like Black Widow's tight outfits in Marvel, or Pamela Anderson sexualised by work, press and people. It seems the patriarchy seeps its way into every facet including fruit.

Women and fruit have been buddies throughout history. The Creation Story sees Eve eating the forbidden fruit (contrary to popular belief, theologians argue the forbidden fruit wasn’t an apple). Female artists in the 16th painted table fruit. Fruit painting trended in female art because it didn’t require a live model, something that was confined by men.

We see that Frida Kahlo painted fruit to make political statements, sexuality being a present theme as well. Though note that sexuality is not the same as sexualising. Fruit has become unnecessarily sexualised, and that’s where the problem lies.

How is it, then, that fruit has become sexualised? It’s the result of patriarchy and capitalism. For one, we live in a male dominated

society. In the same society we, the masses, are targeted to consume products - film, art, music, advertisements, news, food and more.

We call this consumption of products mass culture - mass produced items for the mass, fabricated by corporations to make profit. And we don’t control the products we consume, we consume what is deemed popular by corporations. So, for example, applying the saying ‘sex sells’ to capitalist products opens our eyes to how and why fruits are sexualised.

It’s become popular, trendy and above all, normalised to sexualise fruits in reference to women, a phenomena unchallenged by the patriarchy.

I want to add more on the normalisation of sexualising fruits. Our society more than ever before is pumped with sex. Globalisation and interconnectedness permeates into our daily lives. We see sexualisations in social media, pornography, movies, Netflix, literature. This normalisation scribbles the line of appropriate sexualisations. Nowadays, young children are aware that the way they eat bananas alludes to innuendos. They are also aware that a peach often references the female butt.

Knowing that young children, at a time period of cherished innocence, are aware of very adult objectifications tells us that something is wrong. This ‘something’ being the many ways sexualisaiton, in this case through fruit, has gone too far.

I experience the sexualisations of fruit daily. I

can’t eat a banana in public without feeling like I’m being sexualised. Maybe when I’m alone, but even then I feel like the walls around me are spies for the patriarchy. I’ve learnt to pull apart a banana in small bits, and eat it in those bits so I’m not referencing oral sex. Being too uncomfortable to eat some simple food because it becomes sexual is anothet telling sign of something gone wrong. I beg you, let a banana be a banana.

While most of this discussion takes a negative approach to the sexualisation of fruit, fruit can be a celebration of femininity. If I ask you to imagine a sensual fruit image you’ve seen, you might picture a finger fingering a lemon or orange or milk oozing out of a strawberry.

To some, those fruitful images showcase the reclamation of women’s sexuality in art, celebrating the female gaze. And it can mean that, but we should be attentive. The patriarchy and capitalism are the two forces which control our society. The celebration of women’s sexuality through fruit can easily become ensnared in sexualisation.

Here we can see fruit is a political agent. It has the power to activate gendered divisions, reinforcing the sexualisation of women. It is the result of patriarchy and capitalism which is why, dear comrades, we must move towards socialism. A spectre is haunting our society, a spectre of hope. Where women can eat fruit in peace and we no longer live under capitalism.

Join the collective, follow.

FRESH PRODUCE

13

NEXUS

KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

FOOD: A rambling incoherent love letter

by Tehana De Klerk

Food, glorious food. I think we can collectively agree that everyone loves food. It’s something that we can cherish, and also something that we can take for granted. Honestly, food is pretty dope; it’s also a basic human necessity. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights clearly states that “Everyone has the right to a standard of living adequate for the health and well-being of himself and of his family, including food…”.

something that brings people together. And so, when we see it on the big screen while watching some hyper-unrealistic yet totally cliché dystopian love story, we can’t help but want to be in that world just to have a taste.

So, food is obviously very important (yeah, no shit Sherlock). But, if I was to go on and on about the bare minimum that mankind deserves, nobody would read this. So, with the obvious fixation that this week’s issue has on the topic, I’m going to use this space to talk about the connections and relationships between people and food. In other words, you’re gonna read the word “food” a hell of a lot today.

Circling back to how food brings us together, I want to share with you beautiful readers the different cuisines I’ve tried and the people I’ve had the utmost pleasure meeting and sharing this food with.

If you remember anything I’ve written before, you’ll realise that I’m quick to put in either random pop culture references, or basically use an entire two pages nerding out about films and series. That’s exactly what I’m going to do here (don’t stress, I won’t do that for the entire piece).

Food in entertainment. That’s it, that’s the point. From ratatouille, to post-battle shawarmas, to Mendl’s pastries, to Turkish delight in a frozen winterland, food in cinema is absolutely to die for. And I know for a fact that I’m not the only one who wanted a Hogwarts letter just so I could enjoy the feasts. Food is its own dialogue; it’s something that is perfected and changed over time and is shared with the people around us. It’s a montage of emotion that lathers our palettes with love, and sometimes it kinda just feels like a big hug. Food is a language that is universally shared; it’s made up of different cuisines, cultures, traditions and recipes, and is

14 N.06 / V. 55

…we don’t talk about Timothee Chalamet and peaches, though.

That’s a story for another time.

I can’t remember when exactly, but some years ago, I went on holiday to Italy. Holy. Shit. Italian food is an absolute Godsend. I’m a sucker for carbs and red meat, so Italy was literally paradise. My parents had already been there, so they took my brother and I to this cute family restaurant in Florence. I cannot describe to you the absolute euphoria I felt when eating a certain pasta dish; I genuinely think that the whole trip was a dream. The experience as a whole at this restaurant was beautiful. The owners were so kind, and we were able to share the dinner with close family friends that had joined us on the trip. Food can be the centrepiece of conversation, relationships, and love. Another absolute plus is that if you’re awkward like me, you can avoid saying something really stupid if you just keep eating.

Another trip that stays printed in my mind is the time I went to Amsterdam. I don’t want to sound like I’m bragging about the places I’ve been, but this story is just too funny. Keep in mind, I was thirteen at the time. So, during this trip I wasn’t with my family; I was playing in an international youth touch tournament,

特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

and I was only familiar with a total of three people. One day, our coaches had taken us to a bakery to try these really good cookies. Cookies and Amsterdam? I swear, it’s not what you’re thinking. However, my dumbass decided to text my parents on a broken phone saying “I just tried the world’s best cookie”. See the problem? I was able to backtrack and explain myself, but my little encounter with imaginary weed is definitely still the butt of many jokes. My point here is that food not only brings people together through love and conversation, but also through fun and laughter.

I think that because food is just a basic human need, we look past the bigger role it plays in our lives. Food creates a connection between people, an unbreakable bond that is shared through love and positivity.

Food is great, and so are people. Of course, there are negative connotations. Eating disorders are rampant, and they create conflict between a person’s mind and body. It’s never too late to educate yourself on this, and I think that it’s crucial to understand how you can help people that face this. Perhaps you can’t do much as an individual, and considering I’ve never personally struggled with an eating disorder my words might mean jackshit, but perhaps knowing that you have the support from other people might help those that are in certain situations.

Another thing I wanted to bring to light is that there are people cheated out of the basic human right of access to food. There are many ways you can do your part to help these people. I’m

NEXUS

not going to preach to you that you have to, considering I could be doing more humanitarian work myself, but I’m a broke uni student who still can’t take care of themself (lame excuse, I know). And I know many of you are in the same situation, so I really don’t know what I’m really saying anymore. In all honesty, I’m just trying to say that you shouldn’t take for granted what others don’t have.

Food makes life full of love and, well, life. It’s an important mechanism that pretty much makes the world go around. So don’t be an asshole; be kind, like the cup noodles you make to help you when you’re feeling dusty. Does that make sense? Probably not, but my point still stands. Food is a complex language that is understood across the globe; it’s rich in its purpose to bring joy, light and life into people.

This piece is basically my very own love letter to food. A weird thing to say, but come on, it’s food! And I know for a fact that if I could, I would write about it in every issue of Nexus. With my dad flying here next weekend, I’m definitely going to be eating the best meals. Medium-rare steak with mushroom sauce and chips, barbecued lamb chops, boerewors rolls- ooh! I’m going to be eating so good, and I hope that you’re all jealous.

To send you off, here’s a random quote in Latin to make me sound cool: “Esse oportet ut vivas; non vivere ut edas”. I can’t remember what it means, so search it up.

FRESH PRODUCE

15

NEXUS

MARAMARA MARAMARA KŌRERO KŌRERO / 专栏 / 专栏

Whelmed Whelmed

by Rachael Elliott

by Dave Snell

The smarter you are the more likely you are to struggle with your mental health. I dunno whether that makes y’all heard more or less likely The Witching Hour. I’ve it described to hit the skids to be honest.

You did make as 12am or 3am. Either way, it’s described it into uni, but then you actually to as the time when supernaturalchose events come here when higher education is the are apparently more likely to occur. Some biggest money-making scambut thethose boomers Christians (not the cool kind who managed since the housing crisis so… think AC/DC is to do with the AntichristJury’s and out. not a sewing machine) think it’s because it’s the inverted time of Jesus’ death. More Recent stats from Health survey likely though, it wasthe dueNZ to curfews in the reported that women aged 15-24 were 16th century, and Catholics being afraid of experiencing anxiety and depression at Stevie Nicks between 3am and 4am. double the rate of men the same age, and Māori 1.5Rock times more likely to But to youth quote are Chris (and I recognise have diagnosis of anxiety disorder now isanot a good time to do that) havethan you non-Māori.

Our trans, non-binary, ever drawn money out of an ATM at gender four in queer, and takatāpui whānau are even more the morning for something positive? marginalised, so they’re even deeper in the hole.

The point is, if you’re experiencing stress,

depression, anxiety or some sort of challenge So don’tlife, try you and might tell me that there isn’t in your find yourself awakea societally constructed, gender specific, at 3am, watching trashy TV, pondering kyriarchal to our mental somethingcomponent deep and meaningful.

Forhealth those crisis.

The effect of gender-roles and the the of us with those types of challenges, negative experiences of these throughout Witching Hour is when we can be at our your life, often starting before you even most vulnerable. realise what is happening, is a very large and riskpeople factorI’ve for talked mentaltoillness.

For aspecific lot of the about Not to mention the fact that this, 3am is when those faceswe’re come usually out of left baby theallsibling, the literally darknessholding at you.the They tell(or you those or parent or grandparent).

Despite being the gold fucking standard of humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n,

16 N.06 / V. 55

inclusive) are being thrown under the fucking bus. In every country from which data available, every racial,true ethnic, and thingsis about youinthat aren’t or hurt age group, from every historical period: you the most. The face could be someone we have lower arrestwho ratesbetrayed than men you’ve hurt, someone you,for or all crime categories except prostitution even a loved one who isn’t around anymore. (which shouldn’t be a crime, sex work is work). peer-reviewed over My faceSeveral that comes out of thestudies darkness is the last years few ago. decades have shown that my own, wom*n outperform men in many of the key areas that for good When I was at make my sickest, afterleadership: a month self-awareness, kindness, self-control, in ICU, I could finally walk unaided again. humility, skills, andismoral sensitivity.

I weighedsocial 41kg, which obviously very While men for outperform in unprovoked dangerous someoneusover 6ft tall. I aggression, narcissism, greed, stopped on psychopathy, my way to the bathroom and and the kinds of mirror.

Machiavellian saw myself in the I lookedtendencies like one of that things likecamp whitethat collar thosecreate men from POW you crime, see in mishandling of a global pandemic the WWII documentaries. Gaunt face, and massive need for the #metoo movement.

And yet beard and afro (ok that bit was awesome), they’re still in charge.

And you still ask us and you could see every single one of my why we need feminism. ribs. That’s the face that comes out of the

darkness at me at 3am to tell me I’m a Anyway, I digress. are things wom*ndifficult more Cripple, that all I doWhy is make likely to struggle with their mental health for people, or that whatever I do isn’t good than men? MaYBE iT’s ThEiR HoRMoNEs? enough.

Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and depressed we dodoom all theand emotional I share thisbecause not to spread gloom. labour or because men aren’t allowed to In knowing that face, expecting that face, have feelings?what EitherI’m way you to cansay thank the and knowing going to that patriarchy, and give the solution is feminism. face, I can also him a reality check.

Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed because we’ve been sexualised since we were children? Nothing like never being sure if you can trust a person to keep you

on your toes.

Perhaps it’s because wenone still get paidis less I’m not just my illness, of this my than men for doing the same work.

Nothing fault, people love me, and I should be proud like feeling unappreciated make you want of what I’ve done. If you to have a face that to stay in bed all day. comes for you in the Witching Hour, be ready with a plan and maybe even a script.

Maybe it’syou because been taught 10 That way, can usewe’ve the Witching Hour for different ways not be rapedto but boys still what it’s meant forto – listening Fleetwood haven’t been told not to rape us? That deep Mac, praising Bacchus or Dionysus, and down, some men think they’re entitled to dancing with the Devil in the pale moonlight. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even when we say no.

Maybe we’re all fucked up because we’re "The point is, if you’re more likely to experience mental and physical violence and abuse than men, and experiencing stress, trauma is directly linked to the development depression, anxiety or of anxiety, depression, and a host of other some sort of challenge mental illnesses.

in your life, you might

Maybe, until we sort that out, wom*n are find going to yourself struggle more awake with their mental health than men.

at 3am, watching If trashy you want toTV, help?pondering Call out your friend’s shitty misogynistic jokes. Even just saying something deep and that you don’t get it, or you don’t find it meaningful. " funnythat one small awkward moment is worth something huge. Because suddenly, the 1 in 4 women in the room that have been sexually assaulted? Feel just a tiny bit safer.

And that’s a tiny step in the right direction.

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Soapbox Soapbox

by Lara Dashfield

by James Raffan

AS MARIE ANTOINETTE SO NEARLY SAID, “LET THEM EAT HORSE” For what it is worth, I have never (knowingly) eaten a horse, and it isn’t exactly on the bucket list. I have eaten crocodile, emu, and ostrich, though. Usually, the exotic meat was on some form of pizza and created a mix of curiosity and unhinged dread. The curiosity is an easy explanation: I am a middle-class Scottish-Dutch-Pakeha and any food that isn’t lamb or beef always seemed exotic. The sense of dread was a little more ingrained into my psyche. It was this cultural fear of the unknown. Was crocodile pizza going to make me so violently ill, or was it going to be the beginning of a culinary journey? The reality was, without fail, it was never as much of an event as I had built it up to be. Each of those “exotic foods” was just chewy, and a little tough.

The lesson here is, or at least it should be, is “don’t fear the unknown” with a side of “dood choice is a personal thing, and shut the fuck up.”

And yet, in 2022, we are finding ways to demonise people for eating something

that we don’t want to. It doesn’t matter if it’s vgans complaining about carnivores, carnivores complaining about plant-based meats, or someone complaining that DAME VALERIE ADAMS eats horses. The real question is, is she eating your pet horse?

Because if she isn’t, then just shut the fuck up.

Who are these Twitter trolls and Instagram thots that think they have any right to impose their moral code on someone else’s culture? Tongan people have been eating horse meat as a delicacy for lifetimes now.

I have literally helped to construct a meal in the bladder of an animal, because that is Scottish. We deep fry eggs in pork and nobody says anything about how disturbing that is. And that’s before I even get started on IRN-Bru, a drink that is that national (non-alcoholic) pride of Scotland, and it basically tastes like I imagine Fanta would if it was taking antidepressants. But nobody says shit because of the prevailing tide that when island nations do these things it’s uncivilised, but with Europe it is a cultural narrative.

In New Zealand, we kill cows daily, and that

would horrify people in other countries who hold the animal as sacred. But when was the last time someone criticised you for eating a mince pie?

I guess if I had to summarise this rant, it would be as follows: 1. Dame Val is a goddess and she can do whatever she wants.

2. Cooking in the bladder of anything is gross, but Haggis is delicious and that is a hill I will die on.

3. I don’t ever want to try horse so if someone offers me something equine or metal shed I will politely decline.

However, my underlying point is this.

If someone is eating something, and you don’t like it, the only place you have the right to an opinion is if it is in the bedroom. Valarie Adams doesn’t have to justify her culture to you, and you don’t have to understand it.

Better still, you don’t even have to comment on it. There are some thoughts and feelings I have that are JUST in my head.

FRESH PRODUCE

17

NEXUS

PUORO / 音乐

Let’s cook, fuckers

by Jak Rāta

I’m faced with the hard question every night: what songs should I play while cooking? Okay, I’m exaggerating when it comes to it being a hard question, I get it, but the vibes in the kitchen can make or break how successful my kai experience is going to be. Gotta be honest with yourself, cooking can be kinda cunted but hopefully this playlist gets you hyped as.

déjà vu - Olivia Rodrigo Coming off the success of the Grammys last week, Olivia Rodrigo is all you need to get through monotonous nights of cooking and making shit that’s meant to make you survive. I shouldn’t be so moody, but honestly this song has me in my feelings as I start throwing shit in a hot sizzling pan. I can’t help but tear up, but I feel like a bad bitch every time.

Waikato - TE KAAHU If you’re wanting to achieve the result of Poi E or Kotahitanga without actually listening to Maisey Rika or Bic Runga, then this modern Māori classic is enough to just make you sway in your feels. I can’t help but listen to this waiata and be reminded of cooking with my māmā and whaea’s alike, listening to stories and feeling the aroha in the kihini. Ahh, that’s some good shit.

Angels - Chance the Rapper Le Festin - Camille

Someone to You - Banners

Haha, okay Ratatouille goes so hard and you can’t tell me otherwise. The idea of listening to this and dancing around the kitchen as if I’m some French bitch breaking baguettes and dipping them in butter, but my shit noodles with an egg is going to have to suffice.

If you’ve ever wanted to feel like you’re in a coming-of-age film, then this is the jam for you, because if you’re not moving by the end of this banger then there’s probably a problem with you rather than anyone else.

I can’t stress enough the level of hype in this song – just fucking listen to it.

18 N.06 / V. 55

This song has the right levels of fast paced and soulful sounds that make me want to rock myself around the damn room.

Chance the Rapper has a vice grip on my throat, and I honestly can’t come right until you’re all listening to his fine ass and bouncing around while cooking some shitty spam.

LISTEN NOW ON

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

Sez Say

by Sarah Morcom

Here’s a fun fact about me: I’m a young person who watches Coronation street. That’s right people; we exist. I have been a YPWWCS (Young Person who Watches Coronation Street) for as long as I can remember. And despite the judgement I receive from my peers and YPWWSS (Young People who Watch Shortland Street), I am proud of my three nights a week routine. But this pride hasn’t come easy.

Growing up, I was bullied for many things. Unfortunately, a lot of the time, this was deserved; I was a very annoying kid. However, the fact that I was made to feel ashamed for watching Corrie absolutely grinds my gears. It was none of those kids' business what I watched!

Why should it matter that while they watched Spongebob, I was watching murdering housewives have affairs with knicker factory arsonists? The children at my primary school were closed-minded and unfair.

Seriously though, I genuinely believe that watching Corrie shaped my personality for the better. Coronation Street taught me what not to do. It taught me not to drive a car into the ocean on the day of my sister’s wedding. It taught me not to marry someone if they had serial killer tendencies. It taught me not to agree to being a surrogate mother if I was going to end up becoming attached to the child and then never hand it over to the expecting couple. All very valuable life lessons.

22 N.06 / V. 55

Coronation Street is also very good at keeping up with current issues. Just recently they’ve had plotlines about drinks being spiked, people getting sucked into MLMs, and a family that experienced casual racism. They also had a transgender character, Hayley, who first arrived on the show back in 1998, which was pretty progressive of them at the time. It has even been said that Hayley’s character was owed at least partial credit for the passing of the Gender Recognition Act in the UK–the bill that allowed transgender people to change their legal gender.

I can’t pretend that I only watch this show for its progressive nature, though; I also adore the drama. I’ve even gotten my boyfriend into watching it, and often it's him now who reminds me every Tuesday, ‘Coronation Street’s on tonight!’. I genuinely believe that if people just gave it a go, there would be so many more YPWWCS. Even though I still get shit for watching it sometimes, I would never hide away my love for Corrie. It’s a part of me, and I’m not ashamed of that anymore. It’s dark and dramatic, but also fun and moving.

I’m a YPWWCS with pride. And if you, too, are a YPWWCS, or if you have any other interest that people like to shame, I have just one piece of advice for you: kill the part of you that cringes; not the part of you that cringes.

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Bron’ll Do it

by Bronwyn Laundry

Bridgerton. It’s like porn for hot nerds Stuck in isolation and having already binged season 2 and re-watched season 1, I found myself on Bridgertok. In every comment section of every impeccably crafted #Kanthony edit, there were a slew of “I can’t believe how much they butchered the book storyline” comments. I had already been warned by a friend that the books were horse shite, but I found myself curious, and with 7 days of time left on my hands, I resolved to read the second Bridgerton book.

These are my honest thoughts, put to bed.

Firstly, everyone in the book series is whiter than Daphne’s heaving bosom. If you are expecting Shonda Rhimes’ exciting and diverse revisionist history version of Regency London, you will be let down.

Secondly, the storyline of the second book is a direct motherfucking rip off of the first instalment. Kate and Anthony get caught outdoors in a compromising position and have to quickly wed to avoid scandal.

Badabing badaboom, a whole bunch of consummation occurs. Duke and Daphne, anyone?

Thirdly, why the fuck is romance fiction so obsessed with hard nipples? I’m honestly over it and all the Oedipal connotations it bears.

Fourthly, there is no fucking world where Julia Quinn’s half-cooked writing is better than an orchestral version of Material Girl.

Fifthly, none of the characters have personalities. They say and do things, but they don’t seem in any way like living, breathing characters. Just like random words strung together in order to titillate Mormon housewives.

To conclude, if you find yourself enthralled in a comment section filled with pent up virgins complaining about the sexual powerhouse that was Season 2 and it’s unfaithfulness to one of the worst book series I have ever read - do not listen to them. As someone who can read and has also had sex before, so might be considered a bit of an expert on such matters, the TV series is entirely superior. Don’t waste your time.

"As someone who can read and has also had sex before, so might be considered a bit of an expert on such matters, the TV series is entirely superior. Don’t waste your time. "

FRESH PRODUCE

23

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

Spinning Yarns

by Katrina Jones

With Semester A being in full swing and my binge drinking habit being bigger than the Eiffel Tower, I set out on a noble quest to find the best hangover cure. A hangover often seems like an incurable disease, and scientists have been focusing so hard trying to find a cure for more important diseases such as cancer & Covid, that they’ve forgotten about the self-inflicted plague that lies within.

With terrible symptoms such as vomiting, headaches, nausea, dizziness, unattractiveness, crankiness, tiredness and wallowing in your own self-pity, a hangover typically targets young adults (although it’s not age discriminatory) on Sunday Mornings. It’s easy enough to sit in your own self-pity (trust me we’ve all been there), but you’ll learn it’s not that fucking deep.

Since they’ve yet to realise a hangover vaccine or a wonder pill (yes I know MD exists, but one that isn’t illegal) people for centuries have been trying ‘home remedies’ to cure this horrible self-inflicted pain.

I’ve taken it upon myself to share with you my top 5 best hangover cures.

1. Blue Powerade + most convenient hot food item you can find + Sunday morning debrief with your mates. You’ll feel rehydrated easing your headache, hopefully some warm food will help the nausea, and a laugh or cry with your mates about the night before should either ease your self pity or make it ten times worse.

24 N.06 / V. 55

2. Sunday Mish with the bros to the nearest & cleanest body of water you can find to take a dip in. Going for a swim while living in Hamilton is always a treat, because who the fuck is going to swim in the river?! Whether it’s a mish to Raglan for some fish & chips, or a swim and a tan or if you're some sort of #fitspo who wants to swim laps around Karapiro and drink some pre-workout to burn off the night before.

3. Hit Grey Street for a feed. You’re really spoilt for choice with food options. I love a bit of Curry on Grey or Shakeout. The Maccas is pretty good too, and they always seem to know when im feeling a bit dusty as they fuck up my order in the best way possible (thanks for the free hashbrown!!). You might run into the Sunday market too.

4. Sunday Sesh! Rinse & Repeat! You can’t be hungover if you stay drunk!

5. Curl up and go back to sleep. It’s okay, 1 in 4 students also feel like death on a Sunday!

Hangovers bro, the fucking worst. All I can say is hold onto your stomach and hope for the best because that’s really all you can do.

Good luck, plebs.

艺术欣赏 / MAHI TOI

NEXUS

MĀRAKERAKE / 访谈

Interviewed by Jak Rāta

26 N.06 / V. 55

访谈 / MĀRAKERAKE

N: Basically start by introducing yourselves, who’s in the band and what do they do? Any nicknames?

S: Skram formed in 2021 with founding members Henry, Felix and Lee. Born out of a love of life, friendship and fun, Skram quickly started writing and releasing energetic, epic jams and touring around Aotearoa. The friendship the team shares creates an insane bond that comes out onstage and in their music.

Henry Ashby - Lead Singer/Guitarist Felix Nesbitt - Drummer/Backing Vox Lee “The Fire” Pryor - Bass/Keys Tane Butler - Bass/Guitar Leroy Paton-Goldsbury - Sound Engineer Billy Miskimmin - Various Instruments N: Where does the name Skram come from?

S: Skram? Well. You can Skram a Skram, or you could find a Skram Skramming. If you Skram, you skram, ya know? Lee and I (Henry) came across a boat when we were walking in a field of Sunflowers one day. It was bright pink and there was a gentle glow humming off the hull. We stepped onto the bow and saw a small Octopus looking up at us with a playful twinkle resting in the darkest part of his right eye. Lee picked up the Octopus and stared deep into its eyes, then he turned to me and said “Skram.” At that moment, I just knew. I could feel the name whispering on the wind of electric gigs and explosive fun times filled with romance, friendship and truth.

That’s the story I currently remember as being where the name came from.

N: If you could build your festival lineup of 10 artists, who are they?

S: Tash Sultana, Coldplay, Harry Styles, L.A.B, London Grammer, Jacob Collier, King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard, Walk The Moon, Pale Lady, Can I put Skram in here too? SKRAM. 10,000 years of Skram.

N: Where do you see your music going in the next five years?

S: This is such a tricky question to answer!!! It could go anywhere, our influences are kind of all over the place, we just love music and people! I think it’ll most likely end up heading in a more passionate direction, which is an insane thought considering how passionate our music currently is! I hope we can find a strong connection with our Skramily and share our music with as many people as possible singing along. One thing I can say for certain is there will be heaps!

Album one is almost finished and releasing soon, but we’ve already been working super hard on Album two!

NEXUS

N: How did you find your sound? What is your sound?

S: We found our song mostly through jamming together and writing together! The more we spent time together, the more excited we became about developing our sound. It’s hard to explain but it’s kinda epic and poppy, super high energy, but definitely rocky too.

We’ve been described as Indie Surf Pop Rock before. There is definitely some Aotearoa beach energy embedded in our sound.

Lot’s of delayed, glittery guitar parts, memorable melodies, ocean vibes and hectic rhythms too. Our intention is to make people happy and energised, feeling really positive - I think this is reflected in our music.

N: With such a colourful aesthetic presence through your branding, do you think it’s a good reflection on your music?

S: Beyond the pinkest shadow of a doubt, for sure. I (Henry) wear as much pink on stage as possible as well! Our music is full of happiness, love and fun! We chose Pink and Blue as our primary colours to showcase our electricity and energy. The brightness of our palette is reflected in the bubbly dynamics of our music.

N: Where is your dream venue to headline?

S: So many hectic crazy fun time options! Can we say deep beneath the Ocean? Or like on a planet sized whale? We’re super keen to play in a stadium though, and also any Festival that will have us...

Splore! Anywhere and everywhere planet wide - we wanna make people happy with our music everywhere!

N: What should we expect from Skram in the near future?

S: On April 15th we release the Living Our Lives Remix by Tiki Taane Following this we have an album - Walk Into The Sun which releases in May. We are hitting the road for an Album release tour of Aotearoa as well, dates incoming!

N: Last question, what’s everyone’s favourite snack?

Henry - Pinky Bar? Is Aglio Olio Pasta a snack? COFFEE THOUGH Felix - Hundreds and Thousands - Felix always orders two drinks too Iced Coffee and a Banana Smoothie, Henry has started copying him because of all the yum yum.

Leroy - Fantastic Original Rice Crackers and Lisa’s Pumpkin and Kumara Hummus Lee - Salt and Vinegar Kettles Tane - Bananas

FRESH PRODUCE

27

NEXUS

MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

Dear Mature Student

DEAR MATURE STUDENT, DO YOU HAVE ANY GAMES ON YOUR PHONE? To be honest, I’m not much of a gamer. When I was a kid, games came on floppy discs, there was only one direction you could go (left to right), and you couldn’t save the game. Somewhere in my teenage years it all shifted to ‘open world’ style and there’s just too much going on for me, it’s exhausting. There are too many decisions to make in real life without having to do it in a game. I don’t want to decide between working for The Dark Brotherhood or working out what the Wabbajack does, I just want to go left to right and maybe jump on someone’s head. In saying that, I do have Pokémon Crystal on my phone, which I like to play when I’m feeling nostalgic.

I remember playing it as a kid on these giant, brick-like Gameboys that needed AA batteries (!!). This time around on Crystal, I went for Chikorita as my starter which I’m kinda regretting now, but I’ve got a Scizor, Graveler, and Pidgeotto which are serving me pretty well so far.

DEAR MATURE STUDENT, MENTAL HEALTH CHECK UP - YOU ALGOOD? IF YES, WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE? I mean yeah, I’m actually pretty stable at the moment (aside from when I have to have any sort of contact with Studylink). Uni itself has been fine, but trying to figure out a way to make ends meet while studying has definitely taken a toll on me these last few years. The

28 N.06 / V. 55

weekly payment you get from Studylink is honestly laughable, and every time I get a part-time job, I get punished for trying to pay my bills by getting my allowance cut, making me twice as stressed but just as poor in the process. I’m honestly still at Uni out of spite - I want to prove to Studylink that I can finish my degree, despite all of their efforts to make it as difficult as possible. It’s also hard being a 30 year old doing group projects with literal children who don’t understand you have a job and a family and can’t do Zoom meetings every week outside of normal Uni hours.

DEAR MATURE STUDENT, THESE PETROL PRICES MUST BE EXUBERANT TO YOU, WHAT WAS THE PRICE WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER? You have no idea bruh. When I first started driving I’m pretty sure petrol was around $1.50 or so, and I’m pretty sure I remember it being under a dollar from when I was a kid. Ten bucks used to get me a third of a tank, easy. Now when I put a tenner in my car it stays on ‘e.’

"I don’t want to decide between working for The Dark Brotherhood or working out what the Wabbajack does"

Dr Gaurav Sharma MP for Hamilton West

43 Pembroke St, Hamilton Lake (07) 8 37 38 29 gaurav.sharma@parliament.govt.nz /gmsharmanz @gmsharmanz /gmsharmanz

Authorised by Dr Gaurav Sharma MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

Wishing you a great academic year ahead

HALF PRICE ALL THE TIME

17 13 2

University of Waikato staff and students receive 50% off all city and regional bus fares with Bee Card.

Load your concession today!

Find out more at busit.co.nz/bee

NEXUS

AROTAKENGA / 点评

Leave the Dead

Saga

Band | Burton C Bogan

Comic | Caitlin Walters-Freke

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

Who are they?

Leave the Dead are a four-piece Metal Band from the Waikato.

They are Morgz Timu (vocals/bass), Rob Black (guitar), James Miles (guitar), and Colin Rennie (drums). I always struggle with sub-genres, but the closest I can come is probably groove/thrash metal - think Pantera.

Everyone has heard about the mostly superhero antics of Marvel and DC. However, there are a variety of other companies which produce awesome comics outside of the superhero genre (which I personally prefer), including Image comics. One of Image’s most popular series would be Saga, written by Brian K. Vaughan and illustrated by Fiona Staples.

Do you like them, and why should I like them?

Yes, I do like them. I’m a big fan of twin guitars in metal, so the addition of James Miles on guitar with Rob, and Morgz taking up bass is awesome (is there anything Morgz can’t play? he’s a drummer too). Really solid metal that you can easily get into and nod or bang your head to. They are also pillars of the metal community, having been around a while in other bands and LTD, and are always willing to help out other people and bands. A good bunch of guys who deserve a listen because their music kicks ass and they’re actually nice people.

The award-winning story of Saga follows Alana and Marco, two star crossed lovers from warring alien races as they flee the abundance of people trying to separate them and take their hybrid newborn daughter Hazel.

How can I listen to them right now?

Bandcamp: leavethedead.bandcamp.com Facebook: facebook.com/leavethedead

If you do decide to read it anyway, you will be amazed by the beautiful artwork which helps you visualize the expansive universe that’s been created. It also has a wonderful, diverse group of characters who are all cleverly written and very engaging. Every volume left me on the edge of my seat, clamouring for more. It’s also an easy read for people who haven’t spent their entire life reading comics, yet want to start.

Any albums I could buy?

Well, this is good timing, because they released their debut album on the 1st January of this year – called The Cicada King. The title track is a particular favourite, as is Wardogs, and Arrival. It’s all good, but those are the bangers for me personally.

30 N.06 / V. 55

Saga tends to push the envelope with creative violence, and gets very raunchy at times. This shouldn’t be a surprise though, since the first issue’s cover is Alana breast-feeding and the first thing you read about is Hazel’s birth. I didn’t mind it, but reader discretion is advised.

The series is ongoing after a three-year long hiatus, and new issues are being released monthly which you can pick up at Mark One Comics or catch up by borrowing them from your local library.

点评 / AROTAKENGA

Rothaniel

NEXUS

No Hard Feelings by Genevieve Novak

Stand-Up | James Raffan

Book | Jak Rāta

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

-5 -4 -3 -2 -1 0 1 2 3 4 5

As an art form, Stand Up Comedy has always been fiercely inconsistent. It isn’t so much that it is subjective, as it is that there is a lower quality threshold. Recently though, there has been an effort to really make art in comedy. Bo Burnham did it effectively last year with Inside, whereas Aziz Ansari got Spike Jonez to film something boring and overproduced. Jerrod Carmichael’s latest offering, I am Rothaniel, feels effortlessly authentic. Carmichael already tested the limits of the medium with 2017’s Eight and the follow-up Home Videos, but Rothaniel changes the conversation.

In the first few moments, it seems less like stand up comedy as we know it and more of an interactive therapy session with audience questions. Borrowing from his fallen idol Bill Cosby’s laconic sitdown style, Carmichael weaves a narrative about secrets and cheating. He talks about his father and both his grandfathers' infidelities and how he hates his birth name, Rothaniel - a combination of both grandfathers. Then the special moves to something, well, special. Carmichael uses his platform to come out as gay on stage. He readily admits that he has struggled with this and how it defines him culturally. He talks about how his peers are adjusting to his truth and how some feel tricked into having a gay friend. The last 20 minutes, though, is about how his brother and his mother have reacted, and spoiler alert - not well.

While not my usual genre of novel, No Hard Feelings definitely hits a lot of points that I’m sure could be relatable for someone but perhaps I’m not the intended audience. Melbourne author, Genevieve Novak, does have a way of capturing some kind self-belief and reassurance in one self, aww cute. The general vibe of the book isn’t exactly fresh nor is it even a little bit new but it’s an easy read and I powered through no problem.

Rothaniel doesn’t attempt to solve anything - it doesn’t even give hope for resolution. Primarily though, it doesn’t feel like he made it for you or me. Still a fucking entertaining 55-minutes from one of comedy’s real artists.

Our protagonist is twenty-seven-year-old Penny. She’s got a lot of things going on, spends much of her time in denial about the real things while sweating all the small stuff. She is obsessed with mending a broken relationship, unhappy in her job, feeling uncertain within her friendships, and is reluctant about therapy because each time she goes, well, reality check: the truth hurts and is hard and who has time for that sort of introspection.

I think that one of the better parts of this novel is definitely the humour that Novak is able to achieve, being unapologetically honest in her portrayal and subsequent relation to the character of Penny.

There’s this lightheartedness as she explores the emotions behind turning 30 and coming to grips with that mental process. The point of difference with this as a coming-of-age is solely in the age of the main protagonist, being late 20’s rather than a teen. If you’re a wāhine struggling with the emotions behind getting older and becoming more in tune with your own body, then I’d recommend you definitely give this one a geez as it’s definitely for you.

As a quick side note, the cover is dope and while I recommend not looking only at visuals, it’s still a great way of choosing something that best aligns with your vibe. Trust the aesthetic my dudes.

FRESH PRODUCE

31

NEXUS

WHAKANGAHAU / 娱乐

Top 10 celebrities that fucked their career in 10 seconds 10.

Dixie Chicks Saying fuck you to the President in 2003 was a hot take apparently, what a simpler time.

9.

Ja Rule If you thought his acting in Fast and the Furious was bad, wait till you see him acting like he cares about the thousands of people left without food and water at Fyre.

8.

Jussie Smollett When you aren’t even famous enough to be hate-crimed, it requires paying someone big bucks just to have them fuck you up. Head to Leamington and you’ll get it for free.

7.

Charlie Sheen The only lines this man gets now is waiting for his WINZ benefit on a Wednesday morning. Drug jokes aside, this man's career is just a trainwreck.

6.

Lindsay Lohan Literally everything after Mean Girls.

5.

JK Rowley Transphobic bitch. Go write some more crap novels under male aliases and rid the world of your exclusionary bullshit.

4.

Katie Holmes Joined the long list of women who had a break from a career, and wearing heels after marrying Tom Cruise.

3.

Ellen I always thought there was something off about Ellen. People would get very, very upset when I would tell them this. Who’s laughing now? Cos if you’re watching Ellen, it probably isn’t you.

2.

Oscar Pistorius Proved that members of the accessibility community can do anything other athletes can, particularly if that athlete is OJ Simpson.

1.

Armie Hammer… It’s the food issue cunts.

32 N.06 / V. 55

Don’t Quote Me “Hate to be lame but I might love you” - FINNEAS is saying the one thing that scared off my date last Tuesday.

“beware of wolves in cheeep clothing” - The newest twist to a modern classic, M.I.A speaks the truth on fast fashion meets fairy tales.

“I will miss her very badly. RIP beauty,” - Martha Stuart and her ode to her dead pussy.

“just found out when gay homosexuals mans say cunt they mean a good thing and not a bad thing wow that’s so a cool thing” - Lil Nas X telling us that he’s feeling like cunt.

Crush of the Week

Ashley Bloomfield

With the latest announcement in his resignation, Ashley B is on the markets ladies and gent. We want to comment on his general cheery disposition and let you know that he’s always up to date, and isn’t afraid of making hard decisions. When, and if, you have the chance to fall for this gentle soul, know that he’s going to be there for you and make sure you’re supported and loved, so make sure you let him know how much you appreciate him. Don’t make our mistake and let him go.

娱乐 / WHAKANGAHAU

The Diminuitive Post

NEXUS

Clickbait Moodboard

Demands come in line with the sudden resignation This week, Ashley Bloomfield resigned as Director General of Health, and the general public demanded a replacement. In his place the names of Briscoes Lady, Election guy or the Pak'nSave stickman were all thrown in the mix. Big shoes to fill.

Treading on Twitter Time is no longer real As the clocks change with such little notice (only happens twice a year ya know), kiwi’s rage against the machine as they request a permanent change to our clocks as they can’t handle an hour difference. While understood, their pleas fall upon deaf ears as the government deals with some real problems like COVID or anything else.

Sound complaints ring true With all the recent construction on campus, the repetitive banging is causing the casual listener to become completely insane, not unlike Jack Nicholson in The Shining as they demand some silence to their 10K a year study choices. Ultimately the response we’re sure would be given is “harden up” FRESH PRODUCE

33

SNAPPED NEXUS

ATAPAKI / 学生体验

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap 'nexusmag' the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Collect from the SUB.

WINNER

34 N.06 / V. 55

D

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Trend of the Week

Campus Fashion

by Zian Volkov

Listen up ladies and gentlemen, here we have a Stirling Sports boy in his natural habitat. This species has evolved to always have pockets on them, but unlike the kangaroo, the only thing filling their pouch is – you guessed it – not pens for uni, not something useful like a band aid, but the ripped Velcro Volcom wallet they received for Christmas when they were

13 and haven’t changed since.

Carrying on with this particular species, as you can see, this particular male bought a new pair of sneakers in an attempt to woo women in his surrounding area.

Unbeknownst to him is that he’s one scuff mark away from ruining his whole day.

All in all, I give this look 4/10. The colours match, but I’ve seen it before. I’m bored. Moving on now.

FRESH PRODUCE

35

NEXUS

PANGA / 益智游戏 WĀHEKE / 星座运势

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19

This week is maybe the time to throw away that one orange that’s growing fur. I know you have attachment anxiety but baby – it’s time.

Going out to eat every night is okay for mental health, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. We’re all for treating yourself and making that a next week problem.

Praying for you this week as you undergo so many mad adjustments in your personal and study life. It’s so tough coming to the conclusion that you’re just better than everyone else.

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22

Next time that one creep keeps making glances at you in the lecture, just grab that kinda yucky banana and deepthroat it while maintaining intense eye contact.

You’ve been tossing up if you should visit home for the easter break, and here’s your answer. Free food and access to clean sheets, shit minus well.

There’s nothing like a warm, home cooked meal to warm the soul. That’s why stealing a few ladles of your flatmates hot soup should really be part of the rental agreement. Like do they not even care about you?

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22

You really, really need to be adding more fibre to your diet. Sitting in the toilet for 40 minutes isn’t normal, and it makes your flatmates secretly hate you. Eat some lettuce, for Christ’s sake.

Stop telling people that you don’t think Friends is funny. Can you just let people enjoy things, please? We all know it’s hot trash, just let us play on our phones while it’s on in the background in peace.

Everything is going to go in your favour this week. You are the most important person in the world. Everyone that disagrees with you is wrong.

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

There’s something calling to you, the universe is trying to make a connection as you find yourself being alerted of something important. Oh it’s just your 7:30am alarm you created in hopes of having a healthier lifestyle.

If you achieve nothing this week, at least stream Cousins on Netflix and support wāhine māori filmmaking. What are you, like a hater or whatever?

Honestly hosting kick ons might seem like a good idea, might even seem like it’ll make you hella popular and loved my your mates, but the fucking clean up ain’t worth that shit. Be better and go to someone else's.

36 N.06 / V. 55

益智游戏 / PANGA

Simple Puzzles 4 Simple People

Maze

Spot the difference

NEXUS

15 by 20 orthogonal maze

Copyright © 2022 Alance AB, https://www.mazegenerator.net/

Sudoku 6 8 2 6 8 2 7 3 6 7 8 2 3 2 5 9 7 2 7 5 3 9 7 1 5 9 4 2 1 4 7 4 6 1 4 4 6 9 6 4 6 9 6 1 5 3 8 6 9 1 5 3 6 8 6 5 1 5 3 8 5 6 8 7 9 5 8 7 9 EASY 8 7 9

Name: Created with TheTeachersCorner.net Word Search Maker

C

Q

U

H

U

S

K

Y

L

O

K

E

X

M

E

N

Y

F

M

M

D

I

Z

V

E

L

V

E

T

Y

F

C

I

M

A

M

U

E

X

A

L

I

N

V

D

Z

U

Z

A

G

T

I

U

X

L

X

B

Q

I

D

O

Wordfind E E A S U

L

T

N

E

G

L

U

D

N

I

V

L

G

X

S

K

E

G

G

U

K

H

C

H

F

H

S

U

Z

D

R

Y

J

F

P

O

U

F

E

R

O

J

J

S

U

B

S

I

S

T

E

N

C

E

I

X

R

H

H

U

O

I

S

U

H

I

F

P

T

D

S

Y

O

I

C

A

E

N

C

T

Y

J

T

E

R

K

Z

T

C

R

U

X

J

B

Y

O

K

U

C

R

U

U

C

I

J

R

I

L

G

I

C

J

E

C

Y

H

X

O

K

U

T

O

T

R

R

J

O

P

U

R

C

S

P

A

C

Z

C

E

L

K

O

W

M

D

U

T

R

F

Z

G

U

U

I

R

E

R

M

N

B

P

S

H

Z

G

N

D

U

H

E

C

L

P

W

A

S

Y

I

N

U

E

X

R

O

T

Q

A

I

N

Y

J

E

P

O

M

I

B

P

S

E

R

U

U

R

E

J

N

L

T

B

T

N

L

Q

E

A

H

E

D

P

C

C

F

G

X

E

Q

T

B

É

W

T

E

V

L

L

F

I

A

Z

O

J

N

B

T

T

I

N

F

U

S

E

D

D

I

G

Q

X

D

G

L

T

Z

N

U

E

X

S

F

Q

R

C

V

Q

S

N

D

M Bland I G

A

F

F

N

R

H Infused X K

J

S

M

R

X Crisp K E

Mouthfeel L Y T Decadent J U I U D E Supple BLAND Velvety SUPPLE ORGANIC Caramelised CRUDITéS Organic A

Y

R

SWEET PERCOLATE SUBSISTENCE

T

N

UMAMI CRUNCHY ANGLAISE

E

CRISP NUTRITIOUS SUCCULENT

n° 128301 - Level Easy n° 128301 - Level Easy

1sudok 1sudok

1sudoku.com

n° 128301 - Level Easy

1sudok

9 9 9 3 3 3

7 7 7 1 1 1 6 6 4 6 4 9 4 9 9

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com MEDIUM 1sudoku.com

6 6 1 6 1 1 5 5 5

4 4 4

9 9 9

3 3 2 3 2 7 2 7 4 4 7 4

D

1 1 4 1 4 4 5 5 5 8 8 8

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

7 7 4 7 4 8 4 8 9 8 9 6 9 6 2 6 2 2

Indulgent Percolate A C E D I I S Q D Crudités Crunchy I T M L J V O T E E W S H V Texture Nutritious MOUTHFEEL DECADENT Spicy Subsistence VELVETY CARAMELISED Sweet Anglaise INFUSED INDULGENT TEXTURE Umami SPICY Succulent

Y

6 6 6 9 9 1 9 1 1

3 3 3 4 4 7 4 7 2 7 2 2 9 9 1 9 1 6 1 6 6

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

5 5 6 5 6 6 1 1 1 8 8 8 4 4 2 4 2 2

2 2 3 2 3 5 3 5 5 1 1 1 7 7 7

5 5 2 2 5 9 2 8 9 8 9 8

7 7 7 1 1 1

2 2 2 1 1 1

6 6 9 6 9 8 9 8 2 8 2 6 2 6 8 6 8 8

5 5 5

n° 214598 - Level Medium n° 214598 - Level Medium

1sudok 1sudok

n° 214598 - Level Medium

1sudok

2 2 3 3 2 5 3 5 2 5 2 2 5 4 5 4 3 9 5 4 3 9 6 3 3 6 9 3 7 9 3 8 7 6 9 8 7 9 8

1sudoku.com HARD

8 8 8 2 2 6 2 6 6 4 4 4

n° 312105 - Level Hard n° 312105 - Level Hard

1sudok 1sudok

n° 312105 - Level Hard

1sudok

Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the codes Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the codes n° 128301 n° 128301

n° 14420

214598 FRESHn° PRODUCE

n° 128301

n° 14420

n° 214598

37n° 218585

n° 14420 n° 214598 n° 218585 Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the codes n° 218585

Straight-up premium burgers in your neighbourhood ~ simple & fast.

Come say hello: 372 Grey Street, Hamilton East

MAY 8, 2022 T ’ N A C O H W E RUN FOR TSHAMOE TSIME ALL OVER THE WORLD TOGETHER AT THE JOIN US NOW