Nexus '22 | Issue 10 | troof is out there

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Authorised by Jamie Strange MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

06

Nā Te Ētita

22

Columns

07

News

26

Reo Tauira

10

Scepticism, Mung Tea and the Earnest hope for answers.

27

Raf-letics

16

Whelmed

30

Entertainment

17

Soapbox

34

Snapped

18

Pass the Aux

35

Horoscopes

19

Full Exposure

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@alexprager Nexus Media Experience facebook.com/nexusnz

Puzzles

@nexusmag

@nexusmedia_nz

社论 / NĀ TE ĒTITA

ALIVE

NEXUS

TEAM Ētita Jak Rāta etita@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor Features Tehana De Klerk tehana@nexusmag.co.nz Deputy Editor News Jared Ipsen jared@nexusmag.co.nz

fucking

Designer Wenyue Ruan - 阮文悦 wenyue@nexusmag.co.nz Advertising & Communication James Raffan comms@wsu.org.nz

send

my hands

are

tired as help The birds are coming

TIMES UP

cunts

good luck

Contributors Caitlin Walters-Freke Chelsea James Chloe Smith Dave Snell Eilidh Huggan Hannah Huggan Hannah Petuha Hayley James Joseph Riwaka Katrina Jones Keira McGregor Lara Dashfield Logan Robinson Lily Bradley Nikki Van Dijk Sarah Morcom Simon Winship Stien Huizenga Tys Paterson Seamus Lohrey Sven Seddon Zian Volkov TROOF IS OUT THERE

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WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Last Wiki This Wiki Jared Ipsen It’s getting to the business end of the first trimester, and students everywhere are desperately looking for a distraction from the threat of looming exams, trying to decode instructions for assessments, and watching on in horror as the lecturers we pay $10,000 a year for struggle to turn on their microphone for Zoom tutorials. Hopefully your distraction can be found here, in the (likely damp) pages of Nexus, but if not, the NBA playoffs are on!

The NFT market looks to be collapsing as the Wall Street Journal reports sales have dropped 92% since last September.

Over the course of this year, popular crypto-currency Bitcoin’s value has dropped 43%, Etherium is down 42%, so-called ‘stable coins’ LUNA and TerraUSD have lost 99% of their value in mere days. If you’re unfamiliar with NFTs and the crypto world, maybe just Google it because I am literally incapable of understanding why someone would drop thousands of dollars on something that doesn’t exist in any meaningful way and looks like PS1 Hagrid. If you were one of the ones unlucky enough to drop $32,000 on a Snoop Dogg NFT last month, your digital .JPG will now fetch you just $210 on the crypto market. Stonks!

Crypto and NFTs are the kind of things that sound nice and good in theory, but in practice are another perfect example of our collapsing late stage capitalist hell. Oh wait but look, this NFT is a cute ape in a hat!

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Enemies of the people Woolworths New Zealand and Foodstuffs Ltd continue to pretend they aren’t raking in $1,000,000 of ‘excess profits’ every day.

New data from Stats NZ show the price of food in April was the highest it’s been in a decade, and is the single biggest contributor to Aotearoa’s cost of living crisis. Countdown recently announced a so-called ‘price freeze’ on 500 items over winter, but a deep dive from The Spinoff revealed that there were hardly any ‘essential’ items on the list (including literally no fresh fruit), and in many cases Countdown will actually be making more money on certain items that tend to trend cheaper in the winter. Foodstuffs have also announced a 10% decrease across the board on food items, which Stuff calculates will save the average whānau a whopping 57 cents a week. A Consumer NZ petition calling for the Government to step in has reached almost 70,000 signatures in just one week.

新闻 / WIHIRI NIUHI

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The NZ Police Association union says that claims of systemic racism within their ranks are ‘lazy and unhelpful.’

Newstalk ZB reported that following Māori Party MP Rawiri Waititi’s comments that increased Government funding for police would lead to ‘more dead Māori on the streets,’ the Police Association replied saying that ‘Te Pāti Māori could and should do better.’ New Zealand police have shot and killed 13 Māori people since 1990, the latest happening only last month when Police shot and killed an allegedly unarmed man outside New Plymouth. Māori are disproportionately represented in our prison system, which the Police Association claims is due to ‘education, health, the economy or society.’

The NZ Police had previously commissioned Waikato University’s Te Puna Haumaru (Institute for Security and Crime Science) to research systemic bias within the policing system, but were mysteriously dropped in March after sending their first literature review to Police. The Waikato University communications department did not respond to requests by Nexus for comment.

And lastly, International students will be returning to campuses nationwide for the first time in two years.

Aotearoa’s borders will be opening from 11:59pm on July 31st (the first time since the COVID-19 pandemic forced them to close in March 2020), and will see students from all over the world return to Waikato University’s campus, injecting some much needed (and missed) vibrancy and culture. Stuff reports that Waikato Uni will get around 150 of the Government’s allotted 5000 international students, a large drop from the 2500-ish that were enrolled here in 2020. International students contribute up to 25% of Waikato University’s overall revenue, so hopefully that’ll mean that over the next few years they’ll be able to finish whatever the fuck they’re building in the Gate 10 carpark.

The Nexus Team bullied alt-right bed wetters Counterspin Media off of Waikato University’s Hamilton campus last Monday.

Counterspin Media, who are known for promoting the idea that the Christchurch terrorist attack was staged, threatening to string MPs ‘up from the nearest bloody lamppost,’ admitting to being white supremacists on their own stream, and promoting widely discredited Nazi propaganda, pulled up to our campus on Monday as part of their ‘Let’s Not Forget (To Buy Adult Diapers)’ nationwide tour. Parking outside the Nexus offices, they were heckled by security, students, lecturers (after asking a lecturer walking past for an interview, she replied with ‘no I can’t, I have a *job* to go to’), and Nexus staff were heard yelling ‘boo, you suck’ until they ran away like the sad little pissbabies they are. They only lasted about 20 minutes on campus, which is generally how long it takes them to change the sheets after they’ve pissed the bed.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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WIHIRI NIUHI / 新闻

Small Town Short News Jared Ipsen

A manhunt in the Te Awamutu region is underway after Bob the Sheep went missing from his Kihikihi property.

The young lamb, who was described by the family to the Te Awamutu Courier as ‘very gentle and sweet,’ has been missing for weeks after he mysteriously broke out of his paddock. Bob’s family are understandably beside themselves after losing a member of their whānau - his mother was quoted as saying ‘he was fed milk bottles in my arms and rocked to sleep like a newborn baby.. [Bob] is very gentle and sweet.. ​​he is extremely handsome.’ If you happen to find yourself strolling through the South Waikato and happen across an unusually handsome sheep, the family say that Bob can be summoned by the rustling of a chip packet. I wonder if he’s single?

Waikato farmer Dick Post has sold one of his prized caramel jersey cows for over $50,000, breaking a 50 year record.

The Tauwhare farmer told Stuff that his secret is giving the cows TLC, and not the 90s R&B kind - just straight up tender love and care. ‘“She’s exceptional,’ Dick said about the record breaking heifer. ‘She’s a once in a life-time cow.’ Mr. Post has been raising these exceptional cows since 1978, and has one of the most productive herds in the country, producing over 400kgs of milk solids for our lactose overlords at Fonterra. The cow is now on her way to Otago, where hopefully her new owner will give her just as much tender love and care as Dick did.

Fonterra’s seaweed feed trials in Tasmania have shown promise in reducing the amount of farts that cows be doing.

Over the last two years, farmers have seen an up to 90% reduction of methane from cows after dosing them with asparagopsis taxiformis, a native red seaweed. Cow methane is generally considered a bad thing, as methane has been shown to increase the temperature of the planet 28 times more than carbon dioxide - but the chemical bromoform found in seaweed reduces the methanogens in cows through the B12 enzyme or some boring science shit like that.

Fonterra did not respond to questions from Nexus as to how exactly they measure the frequency of cow farts.

Finally,

Researchers found that restoration work at some of our smaller urban forests (those little native gullies around Hamilton that you smoke weed at) has attracted pīwakawaka, tauhou and riroriro back to Kirikiriroa, with larger birds like tui posting up at the larger, more established gullies.

new research from The University of Waikato has found that native birds are returning to the city after decades of urbanization.

Surprisingly, researchers also found that native birds in these urban forests were ‘capable of coping with a certain level of [possums, rats and cats],’ because all of the birds that predators like to eat are already gone. Having a cat is super cool though, right? So good for the environment and our native wildlife.

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KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

*Ētita’s Note: I want to preface this entire piece by saying that this is in no way any promotion of hate speech, but rather a fraction in time.

There’s moments throughout the kōrero that steered into the realm of hate and harmful topics, but it’s missed on purpose. There’s no pertinence to the outcome of what I was trying to achieve.

Illustration by Jak Rāta

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特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

To call me a sceptical person is an understatement, I never really subscribe to anything controversial. The honest truth is that I believe ignorance is bliss; the unknown is a great place to exist and allowing myself to just remain impartial tends to work. Considering myself a conspiracy theorist wouldn’t be fair, as I don’t really allow myself to become subject to rambling and confusing plots that don’t make sense – but I’m certainly intrigued. Pitching the idea of a conspiracy issue to my contributors, I wasn’t sure what the response would be nor would I be able to garner enough excitement to warrant a complete 40 page publication. I was wrong. The myriad of conspiracies I was met with bombarded my simple brain and allowed me to understand the inherent human need for explanation.

Nothing just exists as a thing.

There’s no argument that of the 30 odd writers on the Nexus team, I’d be the most willing to do anything to get the story. Let me say that sending the message, “give me the name of the most devout conspiracy theorist you know,” generally sent my anxiety into a spin. The responses came in, but the names rang far too many bells.

“Have you met

?” (name redacted for safety)

You know how oftentimes you’ll linger with a message in your notifications panel? Well this was one of those moments, as something about the message felt strange, not sinister, but just weird. Why are they always called ? I’m a man of my word though.

“What’s his address?”

There’s been fuck all moments in my life where I’ve been bricking it much like this, faced with the possibility that I could be driving myself into an absolute ceasepit of danger, or coming eye to eye with some deranged psychopath – all things that crossed the forefront of my brain as I key in the seemingly random address into my phone. Though this needs a preface, as I don’t think I should throw you all into the deep end with me. Admittedly I have watched my share of anti-vax propaganda and read countless ‘articles’ outlining the lives and understandings of conspiracy folks. While not completely unprepared, the most common thread I found across all resources was the unpredictability of most of these from-the-Earth hippies, that their reactions to outside communications could vary greatly.

One thing I need you to understand before we delve further into the kōrero and the life of is that this isn’t a piece meant to belittle or lessen his experiences of understanding of the world, but rather be a capsule in time – an account of his ability to consume the world postdigital boom. I understand the irony as some of you read this piece via phones or ipads or whatever-the-fuck, but the idea is you’ll read this and appreciate the opnions that differ from yours. Perhaps. I’d better not read one fucking comment about how crazy he sounds, because that shit won’t fly.

Now that you’re up to speed with my minimal research into the movement of neo-conspiracy and their understanding of how the world spins around them, we can move on. I’ll continue to mention my scepticism and inability to understand farfetched theories, only because I move through reality in the most conditioned way I can – social conditioning is the best way of explaining my thought process thanks to the countless forums I’ve crawled through. The only thought in my head as I drove the some 35 minutes to ’s place was, “what the actual fuck are you doing cunt?”

Pulling into the drive, I was met with one of the most seemingly normal people, albeit a little strange with his horde of dogs surrounding him, but I was immediately mad at my preconceived idea of who he may be or what a conspiracy theorist would look like. But there he was, in his Warehouse-esque clothing and a weary expression

NEXUS

peering back at me. His voice broke the barks.

“Can I get you to park your car on the road mate? And leave any electronics there please, they upset the dogs.”

I’m nothing if not understanding, happily obliging to his requests and wanting to start this meeting off on the right foot. To make the next 2 hours of my day easier for you to digest, I’ll break our interaction up a bit and structure it through memories and sidebars – akin to fleabag for those who’ve seen it.

The time following my hike to his home, I was met with a bunch of dogs (Spot, Harry, Frank, Rolo, Bruce, Lady, Myrtle or Meredith? I’m missing a few, apologies to my shit memory) of varying sizes and volume. There’s a huge part of my brain that thanks my love for dogs, because the sheer amount of canines could’ve been overwhelming. But zig-zagging them, I was able to shake the hand of my host.

Scott Reid explains conspiracies as, “conspiracy theory, an attempt to explain harmful or tragic events as the result of the actions of a small powerful group. Such explanations reject the accepted narrative surrounding those events; indeed, the official version may be seen as further proof of the conspiracy”. From my understanding, conspiracies are hypotheses conspired by politically motivated groups to explain events or sequences that would otherwise be taken as fact rather than explained.

Conspiracy theories, while intriguing, can be detrimental to larger groups of people as they diminish experience for a less obvious answer, opting for an ideal that aligns with confusion and idea generation though less than ideal counterparts. Being aware of the danger that comes with conspiracies is the first step in being open about kōrero surrounding difficult ideas.

So I shook his hand, not tentatively but with conviction.

Being sat in his home, it’s easy to let the eyes wander as you dart around and look for something to anchor your thoughts in. That’s easier said than done when the pages of an I Spy book actualise in front of you, the busyness confusing the brain as you try to piece together the structure of a room – taking note of everything in the hopes of understanding the psyche. It’s fucked as though, how the reflection of ones mental state becomes so selfevident in the way they structure their living spaces.

How do you even start a conversation like this? There’s the obvious exchanging of pleasantries, the back and forth about weather and how each other is doing. But are we beating around a massive fucking bush as the animal skulls stare back with sullen eyes, focusing on my soul and taunting me with the mysteries of their stories.

“Wanna try telling me more about you?” Solid way to begin a kōrero about someone’s beliefs and view on the world, while also structuring it like a choice rather than a demand. A request of information.

“Where do I even start bro? I guess my name is there’s not much to me man, I’m pretty chill.”

,

There’s no place where I would consider what I saw to be chill, a collection of memories being held together by spider webs and what could only be described as entrails but I’m sure it’s an attempt at macrame. “I know why you’re here and I’m happy to just chat, just rattle on and you stop me if you need to?” Fucking aye lad, took the awkwardness out of it for me. “I’ve always questioned shit, I find it hard to just look at things without querying why and how it all works. It’s asinine to just ignore everything and not be curious. I guess I’m just curious.” Silence for a moment, “I’m not saying that everything is a lie but why would you place your trust in TROOF IS OUT THERE

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KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

a government that statistically doesn’t fucking care. It’s just being a follower of a regime, a way of being a brick in the wall,” Pink Floyd reference, solid my bro. Trailing off for a minute, I found myself thinking about The Wall. The references, the symbolism, the music matched with visuals.

“-simulations are a way of living, a movement and an understanding of the human conditions. You believe in fate, in a predestined higher power governing everything you do and everything you are? No way, this shit is all some petri dish of some kind. This is all an experiment, a book being written to dictate the path of the unfortunate who don’t understand how to break free from the chains of societal binds. The world is just -” There’s conviction in his speech, an undoubted response that he believes every word. You know how memes were created of the ‘alien’ guy with the crazy hair and vacant expression, well embodied that image as his ideas of simulations become more apparent but well intentioned. I understood, in that moment, that his life was different to this standard we create through the work of the government lizard people- not my words.

The simulation theory, while a little out of the ordinary, isn’t that far-fetched. Before you lose faith in me as a reader, I want you to please read along and not take what I’m saying as fact but rather a different idea. It’s all speccers (speculation) as I delve more into the world of far gone conspiracies. Swedish philosopher Nick Bostrom showed in 2003 that it’s more probable than one might think. In his seminal paper titled “Are You Living in a Computer Simulation?”, Bostrom argued that if humans are able to survive thousands of years to reach a “posthuman state” — one in which we have “acquired most of the technological capabilities’’ consistent with physical laws and material and energy constraints — it’s likely that they would have the capabilities to run ancestral simulations. So what are our odds of being in this simulation? Experts argue a 50/50 chance, as the likelihood isn’t that far from our current perceived reality.

“-why wouldn’t a book be a likely scenario or output of the human experience. We, as humans, consume media like it’s crack – wanting more constantly and feeling insatiable for the next hit of content. Why wouldn’t a book make sense for explaining the outcome of our reality? I believe there’s some omnipotent writer dictating my every move and what I’m saying or doing – like right now with our meeting being preplanned.

This is all meant to be and thinking that you could have free will in a society governed by a couple of high-profile cunts with a value condition doesn’t scream mentally stable. But those that sit on their thrones of gold, casting judgement on the ones running their machine are the normal people, forgetting that we are the reason they exist. Their machine is only a machine because of the parts in it.”

Inow value the stenographers of the world, rapidly writing the words of courtrooms and not missing a beat. I value their ability to take down all the verbal exchanges and not miss the tone or the direct speech patterns of the accused or the prosecuting. I value courtroom sketch artists and their ability to capture the likeness of the speaker and give an insight to those not present. If I could paint you an accurate picture of what I was looking at, I would give you a better insight into ’s world. Main character or what, I’m just sat trying to recount everything from my frantic scribblings on paper; nary a device present to record the encounter of the weirdest kind.

“I assume you’re thinking that I’m a flat-Earther based on some of what I’ve already said. Now I’m not saying there’s no validity in my research,” okay academia, I see you, “but the evidence supporting a globe comes from observations and captured content from the camera produced by man. There’s less about the Earth being flat, and more about the Earth being sort of like a boomerang, the shape being rounded and curved in places, allowing mountain ranges and sea levels to fluctuate. I don’t know about the globe concept, the idea of curved horizons being the main argument – or photos being tangible evidence. We’ve proven over time that doctored photography is evident in all facets and we have the ability to fake content to work in our favour, so what’s different?”

Thought provoking? Yes. A little bit cooked? Maybe.

Whenever you look into conspiracies, trust and believe that you’ll come across flat-Earthers and their ramblings among forums and websites dedicated to the idea of our globe being a faked version of what’s actually going on.

We’re not able to perceive the idea of a flat Earth thanks to the indoctrinated ideal of a rounded solar system being functionally explainable and aesthetically sensible rather than a flat floating being, suspended by nothing in a vast nothingness.

The deepdive goes further than the general understanding of a flat Earth, but the religious connotations or associations with a flat Earth. Findings of mine led to IslamiCity and their kōrero about Quran teachings not aligning with what could be considered a “general Earth image”, the citings within the Quran being deliberately misleading to that of modern teachings. “And the earth, We have made it a wide extent; how well have We then spread (it) out.” (51:48) “Until when he reached the place where the sun set, he found it going down into a black sea...” (18:86), Author Ron Webb cites the passages as an understanding to how the Quran views the build of the Earth. While I know my religious links aren’t with Muslim values, the intrigue lies more with connotations in historic scripture as to the understanding of the spacial build.

“- our entire modern history is what, a tiny percentage of the alleged age of the Earth? Humans inhabiting the planet has been a miniscule part of the development into

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特辑 / KUPU WHAKAATU

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“It’s fucking sad, people losing their lives for the gain and self-centred decisions made by one mad man with the desire for endless power in mind before the thoughts of life. His disregard for the human form is foul and I hope those blindly following understand the parallels.” I’m not dumb enough to not make the obvious links he’s making between historical context and those events happening around us right now, but once again I wonder of the loss of irony and whether his recall allows for the memory of statements from his precious protests.

what’s considered “modern society”. Which then leads to the conversation of life outside of Earth, what exists past this bound that we have in the atmosphere. This alleged space race and Tesla and all these big corporations being in competition to find a sustainable living environment that’s not on the planet we’re destroying. We’re raping this planet and taking all she can give us before throwing it to the side. The government is covering our eyes with news and media that isn’t showing the complete disaster that is our landscape. The Earth is dying, our world as we know it is coming to an end and we’re going to be dead within the next 5 years’’. Listen, I’m already mentallly unstable but saying shit like that is going to send me into a spiral papi, please slow down. “We’re going to end this planet faster than you think. Plastics in the ocean, killing turtles is nothing compared to the absolute bioshitstorm we’re about to inflict on ourselves. We’re taking everything for granted, and the government is using the current eco-climate to their advantage. COVID happened, and it wasn’t a hoax. That’s something I stand solid in.

There was a pandemic but it’s just the beginning of the end. Not in the weird religious way that we’re used to hearing. God passing judgment and smitting those unworthy of entering his elusive gates of Heaven, that’s fucked man.

But a pandemic or worldwide illness killing those incapable of handling a viral infection in their lungs? Makes way more sense to me, and I don’t think it’s too out the gate for people to hear. Fear-mongering officials took advantage of the unknown and stopped those from freethought. The protests, the 5g, it’s all a subset of the governments backlash they weren’t expecting. The attempts to silence free thought didn’t work, as us free from social conditioning fought for those who couldn’t. We were their megaphone, they tried to silence us.”

Please understand that I’m not subscribing to any of the following quotes or comments, nor am I saying there’s any validity in their “teachings” as I find the anti-semitism completely cooked and fucked. But the links between the tyrannical Putin and that of Hitler was the obvious comparison I mentioned. However, if you begin a simple search into the Ukraine war, you discover the recall of the Holocaust Conspiracy. I will not be putting any merit into the words spoken from the neo-nazi purists and their bullshit reasoning.

“In the United States, the essential differences between the European and the American understanding of the free speech doctrine lead to distrust of and even objections to every single court trial or a custodial sentence for a Holocaust denier in Europe.” The argument between what is free speech and what’s hate speech is a line walked by deniers of a regime, their argument being that they’re reporting on history from a different perspective, an opinion you may not have considered before. A crock of shit if you ask me, not that anyone is to be honest. But understanding the thought process behind random connections is a great way of connecting dots alongside the brains of theorists.

There’s something odd about his movements, apart from his inability to sit still for longer than a minute, but it’s so fluid? Not that I observe robotic grinding often but the freeness of his moving was noticeable. Anxiety ridden, fuelled by the uneasiness of my dumbass questions I’m sure.

“Mung tea?”

Broke the anxiety-inducing pacing, his body language relaxing as I actually take note of the boiling pot of viscous liquid, the aroma only just making its way to me.

Okay I’ll admit it, what the fuck is Mung Tea? I know what Mung beans are, but mung tea? Never heard of her aye. If my Māori whānau taught me anything, it was that saying yes to kai offered is the most polite thing to do, regardless of nefarious origins.

The fucking protest rears it’s ugly head again, and I promise I won’t waste your time getting you to read about it again. But I sat there listening to the man ramble on about something I once felt so intensely about. Something that, for me, was a waste of time being broadcast as more finite issues began unfolding overseas. But maybe that’s the antithesis of his point, that we’re focusing on enhancing the voices. “What about the Ukraine war that happened around the same time?” Finally breaking the strings of sentences he formed with such ease, getting a hearty laugh in response.

Even as I held the cup, the colour escaping me as I became painfully aware of my colour blindness, I was still content with giving it a go. You’re probably wondering why this is pertinent to the events, but this was the turning point for me. Sipping on it, the thickness hit me first and followed by the bitter bite and sweet undertones. I’ve had some shit in my mouth but this wasn’t close to anything I’ve consumed in my life. “Yeah it’s good bro, thanks” I added as I watched him await praise like one of the many dogs scattered at my feet.

There’s worry when someone laughs in response to war.

“Wars are fought as selfish attempts of ownership, land wars and people begging for the deed to a land that shouldn’t be theirs to begin with. Dictators, war criminals, and those in unimaginable power aren’t the problem but the ones making the decisions for them. I laugh because we’re caught up in the war between people where we should be worried more for the land housing the people.” Rising from his seat once again, he paced around for a moment, looking from the plants and breathing in the room.

“So 3 Waters,” he continued, a sigh filling the air “basically my bro, the government has always had a sense of entitlement in power. That’s not new information to either of us. The idea that they could relinquish control over something as simple and free flowing as waterways. Why would they allow anyone to just fucking have water? There’s a sense of control of the body, sure, but the mind too?

What’s the point in allowing them to put additives into some that should be consumed naturally from the Earth?” The irony as I drink something that’s for sure not meant to be inside the human body. I add “I don’t know how much media TROOF IS OUT THERE

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KUPU WHAKAATU / 特辑

you consume” shaking of the head, algood my bro, “They’ve actively been against the idea of it being a conspiracy for control, is that just bullshit?” What a dumb question, the answer is already obvious which is futhered from the gutteral laugh. “Okay fair enough”.

“Think about it realistically my bro, why would they only ever tell you the truth when you’re actively not arguing against the system and allowing them to just march on you like that. You need to form your own opinions and beliefs rather than being one of the many cogs that push their system in their favour. They don’t give a fuck about you.

Only their political ownership over the body and souls.”

The words he spoke contained so much conviction and value that you could easily be convinced that you were actually a random tui in a tree, “That’s why the treaty was a lie.”

Wait, what?

He looked me in the eye as he said this, or possibly eyeing up my very prominent pounamu laid upon my chest and my use of reo in everyday speech. I’ve never possessed the ability to hide my emotions or opinions when it comes to injustice and especially when it pertains to my tangata whenua. “What?” I asked once, knowing I would hate any outcome.

“Māori made it all up my bro, they wanted to remain a minority so badly because they were no longer the only people of the land and their world was shaken-” My brain was fuzzy past this point, perhaps an effect of the Mung tea (probably an effect of the Mung Tea) or just my brain not processing audio prompts. Bits and pieces come through, warm in my brain with the heat of anger pushing me to fight him back. I remember stopping him, my body reacting to the bullshit he was spewing about Māori making up the war and strife they felt. Minimising, a great argument into the detriment of conspiracies, the struggles of an entire people.

Cutting him off was a decision not taken lightly, making sure I’m solid in my own kaupapa and protecting my wairua from the harsh reality that bigots and racists still run rampant through the darkened hills of our countryside. But I needed to get myself out of this place and the absence of time plays with the brain, unable to understand how long you’ve been somewhere. When you become so reliant on western uses of time, you can’t just shake the inability to control lengths of time spent in places. Liminal spaces and strange occurrences are enough to send the strongest brain into spirals. So I noped the fuck out and spent the 35 minutes home just processing.

Three days have passed at the time of writing this. Three days of sleepless nights, followed by sudden rushes of

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anxiety as I struggle to pull focus enough to understand what the fuck happened. Even as I retell the story to those who’ll sit long enough to endure the details, I feel confused. The mung tea is an integral part of this story, so I want you to understand that it’s still something sitting in my psyche and needing to be expanded on, maybe even unpack it? Fuck.

My nights have been filled with scrolling through forums again, with the hours of asking questions and highlighting paragraphs upon paragraphs of theories in an attempt to understand more of what’s going on in the universe around me. The anxiety hasn’t subsided, and while I think caffeine isn’t the best way of combating it, I possess knowledge that I feel should be protected. Knowledge that has me questioning my very foundation in life. Complacency, while the easier way of getting through, isn’t always key to succeed in life and making sure you’re aware of theories and those possessing the knowledge and key to a future that isn’t expected from mainstream data sources.

Here I am, writing this and helping you gain some sort of perspective on thoughts and opinions that differ from your own. I may have been drugged, which is fine, but take this as a cautionary tale. While I think that talking with those who differ from you is important, it’s also scary to think about putting yourself in potentially dangerous situations, which is something that I don’t follow myself apparently. The ultimate test of mental strength is putting yourself in these situations and seeing if it shakes you.

Let me say this, my core is hurricane Katrina, and I can’t help but feel the anxiety and stress tenfold as my values come into question.

One last thing I need to mention, I’m missing information thanks to the damn mung tea. My brain is struggling to recall everything as I try writing this. But maybe the real conspiracy is whether he was attempting to ‘Men in Black’ me, wiping my memory of the kōrero and meeting.

Either way, I want to get my ramblings out before they’re all gone and deleted for good. There’s paraphrasing for sure but the grist is real and raw. The conversation is one of those things I hope I remember for life but I don’t know if this is something my subconscious will allow me to retain.

To call me a sceptical person is an understatement, I never really subscribe to anything controversial.

The honest truth is that I don’t know what to think anymore.

LISTEN NOW ON

NEXUS

MARAMARA MARAMARA KŌRERO KŌRERO / 专栏 / 专栏

Whelmed The Black Dog

by Rachael Elliott

Dave Snell

The smarter you are the more likely you are are being thrown under the fucking bus. In to struggle with your mental health. I dunno every country from which data is available, Perhaps we’re anxious and depressed whether that makes moreThis or less likelybecause in every racial, ethnic, and because we’ve sincethat). we I am much more a caty’all person. is lucky, we have twenty (bigage upsgroup, to the from Buddhists for coming up been with asexualised way to do just to hit the skids to be honest.

You did make every historical period: we have lower arrest were children?

Nothing like never being of them. However, our four puppies (I say puppies but the youngest But the first rule when you get knocked down is get back up. All you it into uni, butold) then yougrown actually chose to rates men for allhave crime if you can person to keep you is seven years have on me.

Because of this,than I think black to docategories is get up, andsure momentum willtrust carrya you. come when have highergotten education is athe except prostitution dogs inhere particular a bit of bad rep.

What does this (which shouldn’t be on your toes. biggest scam the other boomers a crime, work have to money-making do with mental health, than once againsex proving managed since the housing crisis so…

Jury’s is work).

Several that I have the attention span of a meth-fuelled road runner? I’m " So get up. Find some way to get e efrom r - r egetting v i e wup ed out. talking of course about the Black Dog that stopsp us theislast up and keep going. Cos your brain in the morning. Waking up and not wanting tostudies get outover of bed a few decades have Recent stats from the NZ Health survey common thing. The alarm is annoying, its cold outside, and we’ve is wrong. You’re not a piece of shit. reported that agreed womento aged 15-24 were shownof that wom*n all collectively sell a significant proportion our lives to experiencing anxiety and depression at outperform men What do brains know? What have corporate scumbags for cheap. No wonder we don’t want to get out in many ofyour the cat key double the this rateisofmore menthan the that. sameThis age,is and of bed. But when even patting brains done for us lately anyway? " makeYou for Māori areyou 1.5intimes more likely you to toareas who is youth punching the face wanting get upthat is hard. good leadership: have a diagnosis thanis holding want to move, butof theanxiety weightdisorder of the world you down. selfSo non-Māori.

Our trans, non-binary, gender awareness, humility, instead, you lay there, while your brain calls you the most kindness, horrible self-control, Breaking tasks down into smaller pieces helps me. All I have to do social skills, and moral sensitivity.

While ballPerhaps it’s because we stillelse. get paid queer, and takatāpui whānau are even more names it can come up. You piece of shit. You’re worthless. is pat this annoying of ungrateful fluff – nothing Okay less I’ve in that. unprovoked the same Nothing marginalised, so they’re even deeper in the men outperform usdone All I need tothan do ismen putfor mydoing dressing gownwork. on. Okay I’ve aggression, psychopathy,done narcissism, to make youawant hole.

What’s even the point of getting up, the world sucks anyway. that. Allgreed, I have tolike do feeling is….andunappreciated that’s how I get through day and the kinds of Machiavellian tendencies to stay in bed all day. when stuff gets difficult. Survival. And again – I don’t want to sound So don’t try that’s and tell that there isn’t a notthat create things like like white collar crime, I know what like.me Lots of us do. You’re alone. a fucken ray of overactive sunshine, but you’re worth getting societally constructed, gender specific, mishandling of a globalback pandemic the FindMaybe we’ve taughtCos 10 up. So and get up. some it’s waybecause to get up and been keep going. need for the #metoo movement.

And yet different ways not to be raped but boys still kyriarchal component to our mental health I’m not here to tell you to practice mindfulness and everything will your brain is wrong. You’re not a piece of shit. What do brains know? still in place charge. And stillbrains ask us beenanyway? told not to rape us? That deep crisis. effect of togender-roles be ok. The I’m not here tell you thatand the the world they’re is an amazing Whatyou have done haven’t for us lately whymindset. we needI’m feminism. down, some men think they’re entitled to negative experiences of these and you can get out there if youthroughout just change your not your life, often starting before you you evento get high on life. Life is Take care. our smiles, our time, and our bodies, even an annoying ray of sunshine who tells realise what is happening, is a very large Anyway, I digress.

Why are wom*n more when we say no. hard. We didn’t choose life and we can’t really choose anything else and specific risk factor for mental illness. likely to struggle with their mental health Maybe we’re all fucked up because we’re Not to mention the fact that we’re usually than men? MaYBE iT’s ThEiR HoRMoNEs? left literally holding the baby (or the sibling, Are wom*n more likely to be anxious and more likely to experience mental and or parent or grandparent). depressed because we do all the emotional physical violence and abuse than men, and labour or because men aren’t allowed to trauma is directly linked to the development Despite being the gold fucking standard of have feelings? Either way you can thank the of anxiety, depression, and a host of other mental illnesses. humanity, wom*n (yes, all wom*n, inclusive) patriarchy, and the solution is feminism.

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专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Soapbox Fuck your Yellow Line

by Lara Dashfield

Katrina Jones

I hear that recently aunty Cindy has been having a bitch and a moan about electric cars and how New Zealand should get behind the whole electric vehicles as a way to save the environment (don’t quote me on that, the only news I know about this topic is from people's Instagram stories) Similar to old mate Cindux, I’m a strong, successful women who has a taste for men who like to go M.I.A with a bag of white powder (allegedly), and I’m about to have a bitch and a moan about cars.

you live closer to the uni and down a street off Knighton, then you know the real struggle.

" You probably have a higher chance of winning the lottery than finding a park right outside your flat. "

But where else are you supposed to park?! You can’t be expected to park five kilometres away, and then the uni shoves those little clip art flyers on your windscreen if you park unpaid in their car park for too long and they’ve yet to invent car parking garages in the sky – and if they did exist, I’m sure they would cost more than my whole flats rent. Now maybe all us students could just leave our cars at home like other students in much cooler cities with a lower chlamydia per capita rate, but unfortunately our public transport system is just as shit as the river water.

Whose smart idea was it to build a million little town houses so close together and only give them one or two car parks per six-bedroom house?! These townhouses are advertised to naïve university students at a rental price that would cost you a kidney (srsly, why is our 6bd rent $790!!!???). With property managers swindling these naïve students into signing a lease for a townhouse that either has more stairs than the great wall of china, no washing line with a side of a front loader and a broken dryer, or no fucking parking. Now if you live down some boring street on the Silverdale side, a house without parking probably isn’t a huge deal because all your neighbours are old geezers who are probably retired and can’t drive anyways. But if

You probably have a higher chance of winning the lottery than finding a park right outside your flat. If you're blessed enough to live on Helena or Bleakley, or anywhere else that is practically made up of double yellow lines – I hope you enjoy the $60 parking tickets that they seem to be handing out weekly.

With a few buses running here and there and a train running to Auckland twice a day (only at like the crack of dawn and 5pm tho) it makes it almost impossible to get around, unless you know how to teleport or rely on the Waiwai express. I am a firm believer in the conspiracy that the Hamilton city council has painted all these useless yellow lines on streets outside student houses in an effort to make money and to keep parking wardens employed.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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PUORO / 音乐

5G is melting my brain Jak Rāta

Yonkers - Tyler the Creator If you haven’t caught the weird vibes I’m throwing down with this playlist, Tyler the Creator is sure to have you in the loop with me asap. He said it was a song the Devil plays before bed, and motherfucker wasn’t lying. I love weird shit as much as the next one, and Yonkers just hits you hard. Stylistically different but aesthetically the same.

Leshgo.

Pov :you're lonely :( weird / sad playlist

Tiptoe - Tiny Tim If any song was going to make you want to gouge your eyes with a fork, it’s this bad boy. Recognizable from tiktok for most, Insidious put this banger into my head and into my nightmares for years to follow. His voice in all it’s high pitch just fucking hurts.

I love it.

Hehe, these youtube playlists in all their slowed-down reverb goodness, are just the soundtrack to most sad teens' lives.

The rain is back with winter, and so are your depressing vibes, so combat that by listening to a 50 minute slowed down playlist and feel those feelings. Fuck I’m about to crawl into bed and play these through my corded apple headphones, like a true emo.

Literally anything by Rob Zombie Dream song - Sharkboy and Lavagirl Taylor Lautner has a grip on all of our throats and we need to respect his wishes when he tells us it’s time to sleep. He says close your eyes, close your fucking eyes. The entire movie is a fucking vibe but it’s weird and it could very well be a coverup for some great conspiracy. Open your eyes, but only when Taylor says you can.

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I rest my case.

Psycho Heads

Killer

-

Talking

I’m a Talking Heads fan, and I consume their music like crazy but nothing competes with the vibes that Psycho Killer produces.

Just vibes on vibes and you can’t help but froth the overtones. Whatever they may be. Just listen to this and start your deepdive, trust me. VIbes.

访谈 / MĀRAKERAKE

NEXUS

The Sherpa & The Beekeeper Tehana De Klerk

This week I had the pleasure of meeting writer and director Matt Kambic to discuss his latest artistic venture, a play about the conquering of Mount Everest in May, 1953.

In true Nexus fashion, I tried to come up with fun questions but honestly found myself stuttering the whole time, so I'm glad you get to read this instead of listening to the voice recording hidden away on my phone.

Nexus: Let’s start out with some more fun questions: what fictional character do you think you are most similar to?

Matt: Oh man… I thought of Lord of the Rings right away, but I don’t want to put myself up in the king zone. Maybe I could be a ranger, how’s that? Not Aragorn, but one of his helper rangers.

Nexus: Are you the type of writer who plans out all of their work or do you mostly write when you are hit with inspiration?

Matt: I do plan the work once I’m inspired about what it will be about. I wrote a screenplay many decades ago called “Everest Rising” about Mount Everestthis was a science fiction, kinda Michal Crichton story, and I actually story-boarded it because I’m an artist also, so I was able to see the scenes. I was creating a movie then, but I ended up turning it into a novel back in 2017.

Nexus: What inspired you to follow a path in the arts?

Matt: Generally speaking, probably the

enjoyment of both what I could do from a very young age, and watching movies and reading stuff that was so good. I wanted to join the scrum, so to speak. I was a great fan of early science-fiction movies and novels, mesmerised by the worlds they could create, and knew that I would have fun doing that myself.

Nexus: Why did you want to bring this historical moment onto the stage?

Matt: Well, I’ve always had an interest in mountaineering and Mount Everest, and one part of me said “wouldn't it be cool to have like a museum experience where you got to go into a cold dome and there would be the realistic top of Mount Everest , HD screens 360 with all the Himalayas around there, and the wind and the cold temperatures, and you could actually see what it was like a little bit for Hilary and Tenzing?”.And then I thought, “well I could do that, and recreate the summit day” which the play does, but then my mind began to turn over when I read more about the characters- they were such good-hearted, down to Earth people thrust into sudden fame, and when they came down their whole worlds were changed. So, it just made sense to me suddenly that I had a story sitting in my lap, and a cool play for people to experience. I don’t know when it clicked that I should do it, but like all things like this you don’t have a date and a time, so I just decided to see what happens.

Nexus: What are you most excited for the audience to see in your play?

Matt: It’s two things; one is just the physical presence of Mount Everest and the two characters who we really tried to bring the 1950s mountaineering gear, we have the wind blowing and the mist flying and the flags fluttering, so I think for a lot of people it’ll be enjoyable to watch that recreation.

The second one will be the kind of epiphany that people have about what they went through , and if they go back home and read about it, there’s many quotes from Hillary and Tenzing that are right in the play, the thread of their lives is followed- even though they’ve been creatively played with by me, but I hope I never lost the authentic characters at the heart of the play.

Nexus: This week’s issue is about conspiracies, so the question is: how long and how much research did it take to produce a story that is authentic to the historical narrative that this play is about?

Matt: Well first of all, I had to depend on the reporting of the people who wrote about the incidents, including Hillary and Tenzing. Even that said there were some discrepancies; one of the big things was “who actually set their foot on the top first?”. In the play it explores a little bit of that controversy; it never got to the level of a deep conspiracy, but there were definitely cultural forces at work to say “Hillary got there first” or “Tenzing got there first”. But, because it happened in 1953, there was no flush of people to say “they never got there!”... I didn’t have to worry too much about major aspects being false.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

How to not believe everything you read online Did you know that Neil Qiugley is actually a lizard man in disguise, planning to turn us all into lizard people? Or that Jacinda Ardern was born in Australia and is a spy for Scott Morrison? And Mark Zuckerberg is definitely a robot.

We can find anything we want online. From things we want to know, and things we really want to believe, we’ll find it. I have had many a conversation with a right wing douchebag who’s sole reference is a Jordan Peterson podcast. It is infuriating. Reading, hearing, or watching something online and immediately assuming it to be fact is a dick move man.

Use that studious student brain of yours and critically analyse your sources dude. It’s easier said than done, I get it, so here’s some top tips to keep you from embarrassing yourself in your next POLSC lecture when you claim the government killed JFK.

1. NEVER believe anything with only 1 source If there is a subject or controversy that interests you, dig a little deeper. A good rule of thumb is to read at least two arguments and 2 counter arguments, but to be honest that shouldn’t be enough. Check out a library book, scour google scholar, click the source links on articles, watch a TED talk, ask an expert (a real one please). If that sounds like too much work, then maybe activism and expertise isn’t for you and you should just keep your mouth zipped.

2. Take time to form your opinion and be prepared for your opinion to change, and you, to gain more understanding. Remain sceptical.

There is no award for the “person who came to the conclusion the fastest,” so take your time. Don’t form opinions based on emotion, let it simmer before you go running your mouth.

Question your own beliefs too man, very rarely are we fully 22 N.10 / V. 55

right. Also, If social media is popping off but you haven’t taken the time to form an opinion, don’t engage with that shit. Don’t comment and most definitely do not share it. That is how misinformation gets around.

3. Understand the difference between facts and opinions.

For the love of all things good, please take this one seriously.

It’s totally cool to have opinions (within reasons *cough* David Seymour), but opinions are not fact. “Increasing taxes is bad for the economy,” is an opinion, as is “spending millions on the Pā is a good investment”. There is some evidence to back up both of those claims as well as evidence to the contrary, but either way those two statements are opinion and not fact. Make sure you understand the difference, and consider each statement before you make assumptions and go spreading it all over the place.

4. Always ask questions!

It’s funny how quickly someone's argument can fall apart when you start questioning them. They may even get all agitated and annoyed, this is good. Questions are the key to having a substantive debate. If the person tries to bail out of your question, or is quick to say “you should just listen to the Joe Rogan podcast”, you should be highly sceptical of everything they say.

In reality, these tips can’t cure the virus that is misinformation, but it's a good start. Friends and family might shake their heads, or say you’re “no fun”. Let them, you can sit back and watch as they run they’re mouths right into a pile of steaming hot “I told you so”. Scepticism is healthy; there is nothing wrong with admitting you don’t know something; and If there is one thing I know for sure, they definitely faked the moon landing.

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

I know it must be hard to believe that basic bitches, like me, drink anything other than cruisers, but I’ve recently found myself to be repeatedly reaching for one of my flatmate’s cold beers in the fridge (sorry Ben) and I always seem to end up at the pub in my spare time.

Recently I fell ill and the only thing that could cure me was a nice cold Export Gold.

I might be late to the drinking beer party as everyone and their dad has been smashing back beers since way back when, but I’m certainly making up for lost time. I promise you that once you have your first sip of this liquid gold your whole life will change, not only will you develop a God complex but you’ll also stop having the taste buds of a five year old who only eats chicken nuggets.

It’s hard to describe the taste of this nectar of Gods, but I can pinpoint it down to a few things it's similar to. It tastes like when you’re making out with a guy who’s just been drinking all the leftover drinks that someone left at their flat, but the majority of those drinks were kingfishers, the green scrumpy and Smirnoff ices. So just bitter + gross + sweet, unfortunately the tickle from a moustache does not come included :( If you're unfamiliar with that taste then I could next compare it to when you’re a kid and your dad actually loves you so he gives you a hug after a long day off work and the pub, so he just smells like sweat, musk and Waikato draught. It tastes like how that smells. If you weren’t convinced, then it also tastes very malty and kind of sweet. They call it export gold because it's sunshine in a bottle, nothing can make you happier.

Now even with all these pros there are a few cons, they are not very funnel-able, too many too quick it makes you feel bloated and it takes ages for the foam to go away. Also if you try to skull straight from the bottle and fail all the foam just comes straight back at you. So the worst thing about them is the foam. They're only 4.8%, meaning each bottle is only 1 standard, so they're not the strongest but they get you a different type of wasted.

They also give you a different kind of hangover. For the small price of $20 you can get yourself a 12 pack from any place that sells alcohol and for the even smaller price of free you can probably find them in your uncles, dads, bosses or flatmates fridge.

Overall Export Golds are golden and I now drink them regularly to fuel my God complex 9.7/10 recommend.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

Weird Octopussy Eating Kia ora and welcome to dream diagnosis, where I judge and analyse your self-consciousness based on a cooked dream you’ve sent in. PSA, I have no credentials whatsoever, but I do own a dream dictionary book – so let’s get into it.

I lived in a big old fashion mansion. I lived there with my best friend who was an octopus who wore a top hat and a monocle. We did everything together. One day I walked into the lounge, and he was dead on the floor. Grief overwhelmed me. I ate his dead body while I sobbed. The end.

Firstly, What the fuck. I’ve really been thrown into the deep end with this one. I’m listening to Octopus’s Garden by the Beatles to get me into the right mindset while I make my judgments.

According to my trusty guide, your home inside your dream refers to your soul and who you are in the world. Dreaming that you live in an old-fashioned mansion could perhaps mean you have a large personality, or a large ego. I see no problem with this. If you want to live your best life in a Victorian style mansion with a loud personality, you go right ahead.

An octopus in your dream symbolises positivity in your life (ooh yay) and it could be a success you’ve had or overcoming challenges you’ve been facing. An octopus wearing a hat is a double whammy because seeing hats in your dreams symbolise wisdom and intellect.

Your genius little roommate with the top hat and monocle was a physical manifestation of the good things in your life.

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Then you ate it.

Now I’m not saying that crying over your octopus carcass while you devour it is a symbol for you destroying your happiness. It could seem that way, but I like to think of myself as an optimist so I’m going to look at it from a different perspective. Just give me an hour to think.

Consuming your happiness and achievements for your own selfpreservation (I’m assuming you were hungry) is your self conscious telling you to put yourself first. Who gives a fuck about the octopus?

Maybe the octopus wasn’t a very good friend! Maybe he deserved to be eaten.

Eating your octopus friend should be a sign that sometimes you need to do what’s best for you even if it is extremely strange and makes you cry. It’s the final challenge to overcome. I believe that after your happiness and achievements have been horrifically eaten, they are inside you and a part of who you are. Sometimes you’ve got to do the hard thing to be happy in the long run.

Moral of the story, don’t let that slimy little shit get in the way of you living your best life. You don’t want octopus’s juices all over your expensive mansion anyway.

To conclude my analysis, I rate this dream 4/5 on the fucked-up scale. Pretty weird, but there can always be weirder. The octopus could’ve had a moustache. If you think you can top this dream and get a 5 on the scale, let us know. Email Lily@nexusmag.co.nz to submit your cooked dreams.

专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS NEXUS

The cryptocurrency and equity markets are running hot due to a massive cash injection from governments in order to keep economies afloat due to the global pandemic. Blockchain jpegs of rocks and apes are selling for around the same price as a two bedroom house in Nawton. Yet.. no retail trader who has thrown themselves at the allure of easy money stops to think what happens when it’s not so easy? Who’s going to be left holding a digital bag when the music stops?

Fast forward to January 2022. The major crypto coins are looking shaky, equity markets are looking more and more bloated and noise is coming from governments about turning off the money printer to reduce inflation. Fear starts to take over the greed that was in abundance only weeks earlier.

May 2022 - LUNA, a major cryptocurrency that grew incredibly in its short lifespan, going from $0.80 US in Feb 2019 to $119 US in April 2022. Then.. a move that is unprecedented even in the crypto universe.

It starts to drop, and in the space of four days, goes from $82.94 US to under a cent.

Why?

The creators got greedy. They created a stablecoin UST (a cryptocurrency that is supposed to “peg” to the US dollar 1:1) that was linked to LUNA - For every one of their UST that was put into circulation, $1 worth of LUNA was taken out. This was automated in order to maintain parity. This was also backed by a reserve of Bitcoin that was supposed to provide a secondary backing to UST in the event people wanted to cash it out for real money. But as the price of Bitcoin and LUNA dropped.. there was more supply of magic internet dollars than the real dollar value of the asset backing it.

This started a death spiral, where UST lost its 1:1 parity with the US dollar, leading people to start a “bank run”, exchanging it for real dollars. This meant that the automated mechanism turned on itself, burning LUNA coins at haste in order to maintain parity which crashed the price of that along with it. The creators of LUNA drained the BTC reserves, leaving people left “holding the bag” as it was free falling all the way down to nothing.

In the Wild West of finance that is Cryptocurrency, there are no rules. It’s unlikely to stay that way given the growth of the sector and an event like this, but for now, it’s buyer beware. However, this is part

of a bigger conversation about investing and where to put your money. With the ease of platforms like Stake, Hatch, Sharesies etc, access to financial markets are no longer for balding uncles who live on lifestyle blocks in Drury. Inspired by a majestic move from Reddit’s Wall Street Bets that saw the Gamestock price surge through a frenzy of small players piling together to wreak havoc on hedge-funds, younger people are looking to invest in assets they can afford – which certainly isn’t housing anymore. Although it’s clear that digital assets are here to stay in one form or another, what isn’t clear is how they will look in years to come. Coming into existence after the 2008 recession, cryptocurrency as a sector within the wider world of finance has only existed in a post-recession world where most financial markets had a general upward trajectory.

Only time will tell what the future of this market will look like – just don’t trust your flatmates cousins mate when he tells you to buy Dogecoin because it’s going to the moon, because in reality these coins can make you a lot of money, but they’re also only worth what the next person is willing to pay for them. It’s a zero sum game and someone has to lose when the music stops – Just ask those who brought LUNA at the top.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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MARAMARA KŌRERO / 专栏

A cautionary tale but not really.

Kyla Campbell-Kamariera I love everything about freedom of speech, except for social media comment sections. It’s where you discover some of the most disappointing traits of humanity. Social media trolls who hide behind their keyboards expelling racism like they’re not in breach of people’s right to freedom from discrimination. Since we’re talking legislation, let’s zero in on the New Zealand Bill of Rights Act 1990 which states that “Everyone has the right to freedom of expression, including the right to seek, receive, and impart information and opinions of any kind in any form”. In this digital age where everyone now thinks they are a politician, scientist, researcher, mea atu, we’re seeing a dangerous mix of rotten beliefs and confirmation bias come to the fore.

Not seeking out objective facts, interpreting information to support your existing belief, only remembering details that uphold your belief, and ignoring information that challenges your belief are all examples of confirmation bias. How do we navigate between confirmation bias versus standing up for what we believe in?

I think the debate is long and arduous but one thing I will stamp out right now is that there will never be a debate about racism and discrimination being acceptable.

The amount of hatred riddled throughout social media comment sections has had some platforms limit or even completely turn off the ability to make comments. That’s one approach relevant to the metaverse but how does that work in the real world? As a child my mum taught me that if I don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. While in principle that might be a mantra I could agree with and people really do live by, how do we go about responding to people who so recklessly think it’s okay to spout supremacy of racism and bigotry? Do we even consider niceties?

While thinking of the burden and exhaustion that comes with addressing racism and discrimination in our communities, there is something satisfying about the ability to actually do so. And while calling it out and exposing the dangers is partly unsafe, people subjected to racism and bigotry reserve what is necessary to live lives promised by the NZ Bill of Rights.

As we navigate these issues I often think of my tūpuna and the racism and discrimination they were subjected to. As native speakers of te reo Māori, they were forced to learn a new language, adhere to new rules and participate in new systems. Their names went from Te Wano, Mererina, Unaiki and Waimirirangi to Steve, Mary, Eunice and Gemma. Their lives were overturned from the very ground beneath them. Do comment sections really matter considering all that they went through? What did the NZ Bill of Rights do for them?

The trials and tribulations of our tūpuna should not go down in history in vain. They will serve as a pertinent reminder to know our rights and obligations, and to take caution when we open our mouths and tap away at our keyboards.

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专栏 / MARAMARA KŌRERO

NEXUS

Disclaimer: The name was chosen by the Ētita, much to the dismay of the writer.

Disclaimer 2: The spelling last week wasn’t correct, the Ētita apologizes.

HIGH FIVE As fans, we are on a unique rollercoaster. Such is our investment that we are susceptible to believe in a grander conspiracy because if we didn’t we might have to accept the soul crushing reality that the other team played better. Here are five popular sporting conspiracies.

Baby when the lights go out (The Baltimore Ravens).

With the Baltimore Ravens looking every bit world class at Super Bowl 47 and leading 21-3. The lights in the stadium went out and delayed the game for 34 minutes. What followed was an almost complete underdog story with the 49ers scoring 18 unanswered points before eventually losing 34-31. The game would've been remembered as “The Blackout Bowl” had Beyonce not been the halftime act and reunited Destiny’s Child for a single night.

Exile to Baseball (and every other NBA decision).

The rumour is that Michael Jordan was caught betting on basketball but rather than ban the GOAT of GOAT’s they let him serve his suspension in Baseball for two years. Honestly, though, every NBA decision and draft is rigged.

Phar Lap was executed in a mob hit. Apparently, the death of New Zealand / Australian superstar horse Phar Lap was a mob hit organised by gangs who were losing too much money.

Either that or “Big PVA Glue” finally saw an opportunity to create its greatest ever adhesive.

The Dutch orgy. Apparently the Fifa 1974 World Cup Final was ruined because the Dutch team and especially their talismanic maestro Johan Cruyff had staged a topless orgy in the hotel swimming pool the night before, or at least that is what the papers reported three hours before kick off. After losing the final the Dutch team clarified that the orgy in question had taken place earlier in the week and had no impact on their shit football. So European.

LOW FIVE Professional athletes are better known for their belief in superstitions than conspiracies, but let’s be honest how often were the guys from your first fifteen mensa candidates. If any group has proven themselves able to be Jedi-mind-tricked into some shit it is the professional athlete so here are five athletes that believe in conspiracy theories.

Reggie Bush. The former Heisman Trophy winner stated that he has heard vaccines cause autism and believes it.

Which made Kim Kardashian the smart one in that relationship.

Ronda Roussey. Is sure that 9/11 was an inside job.

Kyrie Irving & Kyrie Irving (again). Believes the government is tracking you through your COVID injection.

He doesn’t however believe it is happening all around the world.

Because he believes the world is flat.

Stephen Curry. May have a shot that is out of this world but for a long time, he didn’t think mankind had been, claiming the moon landing was fake. He has since retracted the statement after NASA reached out to educate him. Or is that what they want you to believe?

OJ Simpson. OJ Simpson believes someone else killed his wife. To date this is a view only shared by a jury of 12 of his peers and literally no one else.

A girl named Sue. Because it was impossible for the ‘95 All Blacks to lose the World Cup something must have happened right? Well according to the media that ‘something’ was a hotel worker named Suzie who had given our brave boys food poisoning.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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NEXUS

MAHI TOI / 艺术欣赏

"Nothing Nowhere No when, no whence, there was nothing nowhere.

Snap!

Droplets of wonder, glaciers of time, everything everywhere...

A universe... 'one song' How amazing it is that we have trees and birds and dogs that we have the mountains and seas and stars, that we have each other.

Sewn seamless with perfect imperfections, bodaciously bound by the same brilliant condition.

Burdened with the gift of experiencing eternity, a buffet of thoughts, the full spectrum of feels.

How beautiful is it that we feel hatred, and love and joy and awe and pain and sadness and lust.

How beautiful is it that we feel anything at all?

Crusades of roaring little fires, ravenous for things to burn, full of courage - a rage of the heart floating in the cosmos...

Isn't it beautiful? Savour it.

Mother nature is at the helm. A limitless imagination.

Wanting to play outside just a little longer we're slowly ferried back to the shores of nothing nowhere."

Cameron Mailer

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Dr Gaurav Sharma MP for Hamilton West

43 Pembroke St, Hamilton Lake (07) 8 37 38 29 gaurav.sharma@parliament.govt.nz /gmsharmanz @gmsharmanz /gmsharmanz

Authorised by Dr Gaurav Sharma MP, Parliament Buildings, Wellington

Wishing you a great academic year ahead

EVERYBODY

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NEXUS

AROTAKENGA / 点评

Under the Banner of Heaven TV Show | Jak Rāta dmittedly I have only viewed Andrew Garfield as Spider-Man (not that I ever watched it) and the idea of Spider-Man being a serious actor has never resonated with me. Excuse me while I eat my own fucking words. While he may not have the most impressive performance on the show, it astounds me that he’s floated under my radar for so long.

Under the Banner of Heaven is a biopic, kinda, that follows the account of a ‘84 cult murder of a young woman with her infant daughter. Let that sink in, infant daughter. Andrew Garfield comes in hot as the LDS lead detective in the case, Jeb Pyre, who’s called on the crime scene to begin the investigation process. But here’s the kicker, the victim is the wife of a prominent LDS member. How hectic right? So of course the devout Pyre finds himself in a faith crisis with the revelation. The story just unfolds from there, fundies being involved and far gone religious messiahs. This show is ongoing, but the vibe is there and I can see it getting critical acclaim.

What I like about the show is it’s unapologetic in its delivery, not failing to hit you with emotions upon emotions, evoking some kind of visceral response. What it does well is setting up a personal link to the characters thanks to their effective backstories. Brenda Lafferty, the victim, is just so damn likeable. There’s no point where I’m watching her and agree with the decision to off her. Obviously the show, while attempting to be as close to non-fiction as possible, takes creative liberties in its production but Brenda (played by Daisy Edgar-Jones) just screams pure golden retriever energy. She takes

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98% on the Lafferty family in all their intense glory. There’s a turning point in their initial meeting when you can feel the shift in energy as the family starts flailing in their ability to hide their disdain towards Brenda. The creepy side-gazes and whispered comments help you build some respect for Brenda and her ability to remain impartial and quiet in the face of fundamental values.

That’s where the show hooks you in, the fundamentalist Mormons and their intense desire to feel closer to god, attempting to have a connection that pushes them above common man. What the fuck? Dan Lafferty, one of the million brothers, starts a revolt as he takes on the teachings directly from their creator – attempting to ask his wife to go along with polygomy. You can feel the minds of the brothers start to unravel as they listen to the teachings of Dan, trying to find their balance in faith with the ever pressuring hand of their brother on their throats. Even when you’re reintroduced to Sam Lafferty as he becomes a pilgrim, living in the forest with his family and attempting to right the wrongs of the so-called sinners of the world. The grime of it all.

So it’s a good watch, that's established, but it’s one of those shows that kind of just sits with you. I’ve never been an overtly religious man despite my claims, and this show elaborates the reasons that support my opinions on organised religious groups. There’s some obvious cult undertones throughout, not dissimilar so some religious groups we have within Aotearoa. If you’re going to watch this show, go in with an open mind and understand that there’s almost always another side to the story. Stay safe out there my Christian Ex-pats.

点评 / AROTAKENGA

Oar by Alexander ‘Skip’ Spence Album | Chelsea James

NEXUS

72%

Alright, let’s keep it real. I’ve never heard of Skip and definitely wasn’t expecting the indie guitar feels from his music. What was I expecting? Ya know I’m as clueless as you are. He has a rasp soft voice when he sings, and I think it gives off late night coffee bar concerts. The ones where there’s a stage in the back covered in red carpet and the whole place only uses dim lighting. I think the vibes are there.

The whole Oar album is known and described as “one of the most harrowing documents of pain and confusion ever made.” I mean I get it; I do. The songs were written while he had spent five months in Bellevue Hospital’s psychiatric ward for trying to attack his bandmates in their hotel. I wouldn’t have liked to be on the side of paranoid Spence holding a fire axe, I don’t know about you though. When you understand that this is where his songs had come from; a place of internal pain, I think it gives his music a deep, heavy dimension.

Damn, bit of a deep meaning to the album then huh?

“I will stay by your side for today if you’ll stay underneath me tonight.” Skip what is happening here? His song Dixie Peach Promenade (Yin and Yang) is, if I’m being honest, confusing. I’m confused. But I think that’s the beauty of the song, it doesn’t have to be understood to be enjoyed!

Ya know I can proudly say that this album is one for the books. It’s got the dim coffee concert, late night winter drives, guitar bangin’ vibes. If you’re into that, then this is the album for you! Just don’t go fire axing your mates though, ok?

Auralgraphic Entertainment by Dreamies Review Album | Caitlin Walters-Freke

50%

I want to preface this review by saying that I prefer visual media like movies over music. However, when Jak gave us some stuff to review for the week, the name of this album caught my attention, so I was willing to break away from my normal. It turns out that this album is nothing like I’ve listened to before… and I can’t tell if I like it.

The album is made up of two songs, Program Ten and Program Eleven which are both about 26 minutes long each (too long for my short attention span) and is essentially a massive mash-up of different sounds including music, radio broadcast snippets and random everyday things like popping popcorn.

It is very psychedelic, but a little overwhelming to listen to (for me). It’s inspired by The Beatles. Dreamies’ creator Bill Holt, said that, amongst other things, he “was amazed by the no holds barred Revolution Number 9” to which the name Program Ten is an homage. What I did think was cool was how specific the sounds he put in the songs were carefully chosen to reflect the times, for example, having snippets of JFK’s inaugural address from January 1961 acting as the “centrepiece of Program Ten”. It carries a strong political story about America and how it evolved musically and politically between 1960 and 1974 (when the album was released).

Overall, it’s not my thing. If you’re keen to try it though, you can find it everywhere music is available, I guess.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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NEXUS

WHAKANGAHAU / 娱乐

Don't quote me “u ever felt the wind in ur toes?”

- Doja Cat

“Who said I can't wear my Converse with my dress?”

Crush of the week

- Spitting straight fire, Demi Lovato on the red carpet sneaker trend

Yasmin Finney “If you love something let it go, if it comes back…”

As the second Netflix star cast in the long running BBC hit, Doctor Who, Finney is our crush of the week for just being a goddess and letting the world know why she’s the next it girl on the scene. Riding the high of Heartstopper and all its greatness, Yasmine has us all in love as her light cadence will be a welcomed addition to the brightness of Ncuti.

- Jojo Siwa, identifying as Australian with how often she comes back to her ex

“billie eilish is so pretty”

In the wise, wisdom filled words of the great Philosopher Wendy Williamas, “- and she is the moment, come on now” Yes she is indeed Miss Thing.

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Twitter Treading

Clickbait Moodboard

- Billie Eilish tweeting about herself, me too bestie.

娱乐 / WHAKANGAHAU

Diminuitive Post 1

2

3

Uni Lakes hold secrets Long have the tales of monsters, ghouls and demons run rampant within the hallowed halls of Te Whare Wananga o Waikato, but none as great as the pongy lake covering the secret of the monster in its depths. Sightings recently claim it has the head of a fresher but the body of a… chlamydia ribosome?

Top 10 Conspiracy Theories to Rabbit-hole

10.

Mud Flood - Honestly this is hucked as, but please do yourself a favour and just search it.

9.

Chemtrails - I don’t even want to be searching this for myself, though any minor information is enough to get the gist.

8.

Subliminal Advertising - Not that far off reality, but when you google (BUY IPHONES) it, the plot just gets fucked.

7.

The Satanic Panic - Panic is right, be safe and use salt.

6.

Roswell Cover-Up - Anything with aliens should get you hyped, but good luck with this one.

5.

9/11 - Come on now, you expected this one… right?

4.

Tupac Alive? - Yeah the bahamas be looking cute as right about now

3.

5G - Lol

2.

The Reptilian Elite - Leshgo David Seymour at his absolute finest.

1.

Birds aren’t real - Okay okay, but some of those winged-cunts just won’t keep their beady little eyes (cameras) to themselves.

Fuck out of my head.

Bang bus tries new branding As reported in our actual news, Counterspin arrived on campus but was met with not only yelled criticism from the Nexus office literally above them, but from mouth breathers on the streets. Reports state that the creeps led from Greensboro were lured in on the premise that the bus was there for other activities.

Ētita breaks down With the intensity of the Conspiracy issue eating away at our very own Ētita, Jak, passerby have reported hearing wailing from bathrooms and strange lights emanating from the Nexus office.

Whether he’s attempting his own personal rapture or the days of his tyrannical rule are coming to an end. Either way, send him your support as he struggles to regain personal control.

NEXUS

TROOF IS OUT THERE

33

SNAPPED NEXUS

ATAPAKI / 学生体验

Keen for some free BurgerFuel? Simply snap 'nexusmag' the shitfest of your student lifestyle for the chance to win. Collect from the SUB.

WINNER

34 N.10 / V. 55

D

PANGA / 益智游戏

星座运势 / WĀHEKE

NEXUS

AQUARIUS JAN 20 - FEB 18

PISCES FEB 19 - MAR 20

ARIES MAR 21 - APR 19

Is the whole world against you, or are you against the world? It’s okay to feel down, but maybe don’t rage out so much at the people who care about you. Who’s your role model anyways, fucking Eren Yeager?

Bro, you’re actually cracked. One look at you and people are gonna start believing that the aliens escaped from Area 51.

Hopefully green is your colour.

Correcting people is not a job even if you think it is, and because of that, you’re quite annoying. Like damn, we know that Darth Vader says “No, I am your father”, so shut up about the Mandela Effect.

TAURUS APR 20 - MAY 20

GEMINI MAY 21 - JUN 20

CANCER JUN 21 - JUL 22

You should avoid tunnels. And Paris. We all know what happened the last time… and considering you have enemies, always suspect that someone has put a hit on you.

Never start your conversations by telling people you have a phobia of birds because you think they’re spying on you with their camera-eyes. Seriously, are you like, okay?

Nobody wants to join your conspiracy theorist group if you’re going to keep calling yourself the chosen one. Maybe you should learn the difference between the meaning of “classes” and a “cult”.

LEO JUL 23 - AUG 22

VIRGO AUG 23 - SEP 22

LIBRA SEP 23 - OCT 22

Please, SHUT UP! We get it, you’re a history nerd, but for the sake of everyone’s sanity please stop lecturing people about how JFK’s assassination was an inside job.

You need to stop watching The Matrix while you’re high because life is, in fact, NOT a simulation… or is it? Follow the white rabbit.

You should really go touch some grass.

Staying cooped up in your room making evidence boards about the Illuminati is not healthy, but surely give us a look?

SCORPIO OCT 23 - NOV 21

SAGITTARIUS NOV 22 - DEC 21

CAPRICORN DEC 22 - JAN 19

If anyone is going to survive the zombie apocalypse, it’s definitely not you. Finishing Black Ops Zombies is not an indication of your survival instinct, but rather that you need to get a life.

You really are quite similar to the moon landing; a lot of people call you fake. So, use your time for some much needed selfreflection, because you’re kind of a bitch.

Your partner thinks you are their world (awww cute!)... but they also believe that Earth is flat. Don’t worry though, everyone loves pancakes.

TROOF IS OUT THERE

35

NEXUS

PANGA / 益智游戏

Sudoku

Wordfind

3 3 3 6 6 6

8 9 8 8 9 9 4 4 4 2 2 2 1 1 1 7 6 2 7 7 6 6 2 2 8 8 8 2 2 2 9 8 9 8 9 8 1sudoku.com

1sudoku.com EASY

5 6 5 5 6 6 8 9 8 8 9 9 7 7 7

3 3 3 6 6 6 2 2 2 4 3 5 4 4 3 3 5 5 1 1 1 6 6 6 1 7 1 1 7 7 2 9 8 8 2 2 9 9 8

8 8 8 6 6 6 1 3 1 1 3 3

n° 126728 - Level Easy n° 126728 - Level Easy n° 126728 - Level Easy

1sudoku.com

4 4 4 5 3 5 5 3 3 6 6 6

3 1 3 3 1 1

7 7 7 1 1 1 4 6 4 4 6 6

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com MEDIUM

1 1 1

6 6 6 7 7 7 2 9 2 2 9 9

3 3 3

1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com 1sudoku.com

8 1 8 8 1 1 5 5 5 2 2 2 9 5 9 9 5 5

4 4 4 1 6 1 1 6 6

1 6 1 1 6 6

3 5 3 3 5 5 2 2 2

6 6 6 3 9 3 3 9 9 2 2 2

1 6 1 1 6 6 4 4 4

5 5 5 3 3 3

8 8 8

n° 216351 - Level Medium n° 216351 - Level Medium n° 216351 - Level Medium

6 1 6 6 1 1 7 7 7

1 1

6 3 6 3 6 3 7 2 7 7 2 2 4 4 4 3 3 3

2 2 2 9 9 9

1 1

2 2 2

HARD

8 2 8 8 2 2 6 6 6 9 9 9 5 5 5

n° 327394 - Level Hard n° 327394 - Level Hard n° 327394 - Level Hard

1 1

Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the co Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the co n° 126728 n° 1484 n° 216351 n° 212219 Play these sudoku puzzles on your mobile and find their solutions by flashing the co n° 126728 n° 126728

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lizards

september

n° 212219 n° 212219

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36 N.10 / V. 55

pizzagate

nesara

vaccines

nasa

microchips

adrenochrome

moon

pandemic

hollywood

kennedy

assassination qanon

chemtrails

flat earth

rothschild

50 by 20 orthogonal maze

益智游戏 / PANGA

NEXUS

Simple Puzzles 4 Simple People

+

+

Maze

Boggle

V

E

A

H

T

W

R

I

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A

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B

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Qu

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D Copyright © 2022 Alance AB, https://www.mazegenerator.net/

TROOF IS OUT THERE

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