issue 14 2011

JULY 18TH 2011

14

STUDENT PROTEST

TO THE STREETS!

How come you lazy kids don’t care about anything but yourselves? Your parents tore shit up!

NEWS

Gangbusters at Board Meetings: Whatever will Happen Next?

HAIKU NEWS

Haiku News you say? Profound insight on events Delivered quickly.

POLICE REPORT

Bear witness to our revamped Police Report, now featuring assault and car theft data

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THE CONTENTS 4 6-7 8

EDITORIAL LETTUCE

SHORT NEWS

10

HAIKU NEWS

11

SPORTS THOUGHTS

12

POLICE REPORT

13

LEFT VS. RIGHT

20

WSU PAGES PUZZLES

19-23

ENTERTAINMENT

25-28

FEATURES

29-37

COLUMNS AND REVIEWS

38 39

23

THE NEWS!

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14-18

25

GIG GUIDE BUSTED

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2011 Wallace Corporation University of Waikato Blues Awarding excellence in sport, creative and performing arts.

APPLY TODAY Proudly Sponsored by: Wallace Corporation Ltd, Waikato Students’ Union and Coca-Cola. Managed by: U Leisure.

Online applications now open go to www.waikato.ac.nz/events/blues/ 3

EDITORIAL

JULY 11TH 2011

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STUDENT CULTURE Credits: EDITOR: Art Robinson (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) DESIGN: David Nixon (design@nexusmag.co.nz) ADVERTISING: Tony Arkell (ads@nexusmag.co.nz)

WITH ART ROBINSON

News Team! Assemble! For all the chaos drinking brings to society, it is also a great way of bringing people together. I have lost count of the amount of people I have met in bars and if I tried to recall their names I would probably suffer an aneurism, crap my pants and die in the Union building. Of all the ways to die, that would have to be the worst: your brain explodes trying to remember the name of someone you met while drunk. I’m not saying I was drunk, however, as that would be irresponsible. I was a few drinks short of keg. Yeah, that sounds better. It also makes it sound like I’m a bit stupid. Drunk first years are a dime a dozen at about the 2am mark. Girls wanting to touch my beard are a close second. Assholes I went to school with thinking we were friends then and should be friends again now, right at this moment, are also pretty high up the list.

NEWS EDITOR: James Manning (news@nexusmag.co.nz) FILM EDITOR: Richard Swainson (films@nexusmag.co.nz) BOOKS EDITOR: Kevin Pryor (books@nexusmag.co.nz) GAMES EDITORS: Sash Nixon (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors Dirty Old Blair Munro, Shannon Rolfe, Loud American Mackenzie McCarty, Judy’s Sweet Legs, Dr Richard Swainson, Owen “Beef” Hinton”, Honest Matt, Kylie Zinsli, Jess Edmonds-Saunders, Danielle Wall, Mrs. Matthews, Jade Carey, Josh Cooper, Daniel Farrell, Sam & Zane, Esther Coker, Lauren KB, Mandy Suess-Ryan, Rawinia Judson, Caitlin Hayns, Aaron.Letcher, Kate Cogswell, Monique Hamilton, and Campbell “Ultimate Warrior” Weal.

I would have to say that the names I remember most from town are those of the “behind the scenes” guys and girls. I came into their store about as elegantly as a horse comes into a bucket, reasonably happy with life and eager to meet some delicious pizzas. I ended up meeting some pretty cool dudes. Amanda is from Canada and she sells pizza. Paddy is from St Peters, out near Cambridge, and he also sells pizza. Working in Spawn during late nights, these two surely see the best and worst of humanity. They don’t have to sell drinks to people who they can’t even hear over the music. This is a plus and a minus. They can play whatever sweet tracks they want from behind the counter. On the downside, they have to hear every slurred phrase that comes out of our mouths, every dirty word and gruesome 3.30AM PDA. And yet, when I dribbled my way into their lives, they greeted me with a smile, introduced themselves and even let me write NEXUS SUX DICK on their whiteboard.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Or at least, we think we are.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS,

The next guy I met was my taxi driver: Alfa. A pleasant Muslim chap, he told me a story about how he had given me a ride home at the start of the year. I didn’t even have to tell him where I lived. Perhaps this should have bothered me, as NO ONE has a memory that good, not when you’re doing twenty trips a night, five nights a week. I talked shit to him about how Alexandra Street would be closed during Soundscape and how Hood Street was really going to go mental for the Rugby World Cup.

THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. WE THINK THAT THESE LITTLE JOKES AREN’T READ BY ANYONE BUT US. AND THAT PERVY GUY IN MY BIO LAB.

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS?

Now, on that night, the Wednesday of Disorientation Week, I also met about twenty to thirty fellow drinkers. I don’t remember a single one of their names. It’s not because they were bad people or they were unattractive, or too attractive. They were just fellow travellers on a cold night in Hamilton’s bars.

OR call 07 838 4653

But without the guys and gals behind the bars, driving our cabs and putting pizza in our bellies, town would be Thunderdome. Complete anarchy! And not the good kind.

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT:

CORRECTION: Last week we ran a feature comparing various papers. In that feature several

Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One,

errors were discovered after they had gone to print. Video Production 1 should have been given a

University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton

8/10, not a 5/10. It also costs $690, rather than the $644 stated.

EMAIL ads@nexusmag.co.nz

PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588

The review of MCOM137 also contained several factual errors. The review stated that the

EMAIL: editor@nexusmag.co.nz

paper was all internally assessed, which it is not. The review also gave the paper a low grade,

POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

despite students who have actually done the paper giving the paper a high grade during Course Appraisals.

nexusmag.co.nz

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Lettuce Write to Win! SEND LETTERS TO: Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

WEEKLY PRIZE: This week there is a prize! Brett from UniMart is kindly offering a $20 voucher to the writter of our letter of the week. Come to the Nexus office in the Student Union Building to collect your prize!

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Word count is limited to 250 words and we will enforce this as we please. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be). Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

High Contrast is Excellent! HEY NEXUS AND UNI! The Village Green needs something to draw more people down there. If the WSU isn’t handing out free food while religious people try to sell you their wares, no one goes there. The only time I ever go to the Village Green is for the occasional beer, where after paying I feel like I’ve just been raped. What the Village Green needs is a kickass little pub, a bar with some laxed as couches and a butt load of High Contrast playing so you can grab a chang (or a fancy beer, if you’re that way inclined), and sip it in affordable comfort. It already sounds awesome enough. But imagine adding to the liquid drum and bass some bean bags and Hookah pipes. Fuck I’d be there every day, philosophising and having a good time with a delicious Speights. Stressed out students should have a place to kick back and the Village Green barely offers that at the moment. Oh there are about twenty chairs for me sit at, wait, they’re all taken. Bummer. If only there was a pub, with Hookah pipes. Then students could sit around and talk about important things like whether the world will end in 2012, and are Honey Badgers actually the most badass animals around.

see students having access to more information about papers before they enrol. However, I have several concerns about your review article, and particularly your review of one paper: MCOM137-11A. First, I assume this is one person’s review, since the article does not explain how the ratings were calculated. And certainly that one person is entitled to his or her opinion—but not to factual inaccuracies. The paper’s title in the article is stated incorrectly and the article also says that “It’s all internally assessed.” It is not, and a quick check of the University Calendar would have avoided both mistakes. Second, while the review is mostly negative, the students’ views were very positive. They rated their satisfaction with both the paper and the lecturer 1.3 (1 is Always Satisfied and 5 is Never Satisfied), making it well above average for university papers. So, good on you for taking some initiative to provide students with more information about papers. A bit more care is needed, however, to get the facts right. You might also want to ask the opinions of the students who actually participated in the paper. Ted Zorn

Please Don’t Take Us Seriously

Cam Come pick up your $20 UniMart voucher at the Nexus office in the WSU Building.

Jimmifer Messed Up. We Didn’t Catch It. Dear Nexus Regarding the article “Paper Review with Jimmifer Manniston” in Issue 13... I support Nexus or the WSA reviewing our papers. I realise some of my colleagues might not agree with this, but I would personally like to

Dear Nexus, You got me. Last week’s issue (#13) had me a little irked throughout my day until I finally got home, had a rest and realised I had been hoodwinked. Touche, Sam the Atheist and Kevin Pryor. I fear others may not have caught on to the jape. I know you guys won’t explain it because that destroys the illusion. Sam, you’re hilarious. I loved the part when you married the concept of Atheism with science, logic and reasoning like they were closely related to each other. I’m sure other readers saw through the guise and had a chuckle as well, this is because science has nothing to do

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A

$20 VOUCHER FROM UNIMART

CONVENIENCE STORE HERE ON CAMPUS

FOOD, DRINKS, SNACKS AND DAILY ESSENTIALS ALL IN ONE FRIENDLY LOCATION 6

with why we are here, what we are to do with our lives, it only explains the material. Nor does logic or reason point to the non-existence of a god, if anything it points to agnosticism.

Understanding” that I see as a compulsory assessment for my 499?

The fourth paragraph was particularly amusing, “the problem of induction to the scientific method have been rigorously debunked”, my sides are splitting. I never thought I would see the words “problem of induction” and “debunked” in one sentence, but there they are. This persona of yours is fantastic, let me play along *clears throat* “I don’t think that concept means what you think it means.”

For those non-management students out there, BMS students have to complete a ‘499’ research assignment (like a bachelor thesis) to finish their degrees. However, the uni seems to have snuck into the 499 paper an additional assignment that means we all have to do a test on everything that we have learned at uni since we began. This test is worth 7% of the total grade, with another 3% being dedicated to a subject specific test for whatever major the student is enrolled in.

My Pryor, what can I say, you’re imitation of the undying fan boy was superb. No mention of how many literary responses Mr Dawkins got for his book, no mention of all the rebuttals not only of

What is even worse is that it seems that this test isn’t there as an assessment piece: students are actually told not to study for it! Instead, it seems that the uni is using this test

the purpose of The God Delusion but also how he presented it, both in his attitude and lack of scientific merit.

for its research purposes, but still decide to make it worth 7% of the grade to make us put some effort into it… hence, if I’m having a bad day and don’t remember some small theory I learned six years ago (I’m a part-time student) in Stat160, I’m going to be penalized for it, even though my major is marketing.

“He isn’t some lame ‘shock-jock’ trying to get people’s attention.” You’re a little too obvious in your irony here, but you save face with the next gem. “C’mon Christians, I dare ya.”, no one would be that blatant in their bias, you could have easily put “C’mon theists” or “C’mon <insert a list of mainstream religions here>”. No, that wouldn’t be good enough, you had to hold onto the fanaticism which you were portraying, well done, you’ve shown great commitment to your character. Keep it up, Nexus, you wouldn’t want anyone to actually take you seriously now would you? Mr You Knew This Was Coming

Are BMS Students Home Alone? Dear Nexus, I have a question that other management students might be able to answer: what is up with this “General Test of Business

Given that this also seems to be ‘research’ by the uni, I’d love to know whether they got ethics approval for it – we’re not really “willing participants” (ironically, a key criterion of the WMS research process) if we’re forced to do the test as part of our assignment. Anyone have any ideas or thoughts on this? Kevin McCallister

Student culture - you’re doing it wrong. Yo Nexus! I have heard a whole bunch of people saying that they won’t be joining WSU if it goes voluntary because “what the fuck does WSU do anyway? They never do any events or anything like that. Then once a week they have a barbecue on the Green. That’s not worth my money.” Given the fact that if you got those barbecues in other ways it would cost you about

$100 if you look at two each day during O-Week and Re-O week, plus one a week for 24 weeks of university... And $180 for the O-Week and Re-O Week gigs... So, to those people, I ask you one thing - Is your arse jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth? So what happens when WSU holds some amazing gigs on campus? Oh fuck, no one turns up. Aum on Monday night - 20-30 people. Ni-NJa on Tuesday - 50-75 people. On Wednesday, all 600 tickets were given away. Only 250-300 people turned up. It got to the point where they cancelled the last two days, they said because of the weather, but I would expect the idiots who didn’t bother turning up had a huge amount to do with it. If people were turning up, we would have had another five amazing bands on campus. People of Waikato! Get your shit together! If you want to have events, turn up to them! Why would anyone hold an event that people aren’t going to turn up to?! It’s like complaining about the Government then refusing to vote. It makes you a royal fuckhead. And that’s exactly what I’m starting to think you are, Waikato. A bunch of whinging, royal fuckheads. Are you really that scared of a bit of rain? You’re in the wrong city if you are! Harden the fuck up. I’ve got more culture coming out of my fucking arse than you fucking wanker university students! I could put some student culture smack in your face, and you’d fucking think it was Lady Gaga in a fucking wheelchair. So, can someone either explain how you are all such massive fucking wankers or maybe stop being massive fucking wankers. Up to you assholes. Let me know when you’re willing to not be asswipe cunts. Regards Someone who understands how to be a real fucking human being

THE NEWS! VICE-PRESIDENT MAORI POSITION NOW VACANT The Waikato Students’ Union has removed Vice President Maori Toko Baker with immediate effect pursuant to clause 19 of the WSU constitution as grounds for his dismissal. After a unanimous vote to dismiss Mr Baker, who attended the board meeting with several supporters, security were called following the supporters becoming disruptive.

Nexus understands that a fellow board member also laid a formal complaint against Mr Baker. This complaint has been resolved and it has been subsequently withdrawn.

TECHNOLOGICAL SUCCESS! You can now reset your own password.

Mr Baker and his supporters then moved to enter the WSU offices. “The WSU Board has unanimously made a decision to remove Mr. Baker from office. This decision was made in accordance with our Constitution and Rules and is the conclusion of a 6 ½ week process investigating the complaints received,” said Waikato Students’

On the University of Waikato Web Login page you’ll find “have you forgotten your password” link. The link will guide you through the password reset process. This involves a security code being sent to your cellphone number (as recorded in the University’s student management system).

Union President Deni Tokunai. Mr Tokunai was first alerted to complaints regarding Mr Baker’s conduct in April. On Thursday May 26th leaders of external Maori organisations on campus attended a WSU board meeting and presented signed letter of complaint and detailed Mr Baker’s inappropriate behavior. The behavior included alleged minor assault, inappropriate language, failure to attend meetings and making unauthorized statements. The complaints were lodged by members of Te Ranga Ngaku (the Maori Management Students group) and Te Whakahiapo (Maori Law Students) and Te Waiora o Waikato (Maori Student Association). The complaints allege a series of inappropriate behaviours on the part of Mr Baker. On one occasion, Mr Baker repeatedly referred to Maori students at a Hakinkina day event as “cunts”. Mr Baker was granted a period of leave to respond to the complaints. Mr Baker failed to provide a suitable explanation for his conduct. Nexus May 2011.pdf

17/5/11

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For this utility to work effectively, please keep your personal details up to date, particularly your cell phone number http://www. waikato.ac.nz/landing/student.shtml.

2011 TERTIARY CHALLENGE! Tertiary institutions north of Taupo will converge in Auckland on 19 August for the 2011 Tertiary Challenge. Waikato is currently the title holder, after winning last year’s event for the third year running. Six sports are being played this year including ultimate frisbee, touch, basketball, volleyball, rugby and netball. The one-day competition is all about fun and is designed to get tertiary students and faculty members mixing with each other in a social environment. The competitive element is still alive and well at Waikato however and participants are particularly keen to beat their northern rivals from Auckland University. “It’s no different to any sporting event where Waikato and Auckland face off against each other,” says UoW Sport Manager Crystal Kaua. “There is a long-standing rivalry and we’ll be doing our best to hammer the Aucklanders.” The event originated from what was known as The Battle of the Bombay’s, which began in 1992. Auckland and Waikato universities battled each other in an annual rowing competition and this developed later into a multiple sport event. Today, 12 Tertiary Institutes receive invitations to take part in the Northern Tertiary Challenge. If you are interested in joining the Tribe and helping Waikato keep the title for a fourth straight year, sign at the WSU reception with the $20 registration fee. We will be entering two teams per sport, one competitive and one social side. More information and registration forms are available on the website www.uowsport.org. nz/tc or under the Sport-University of Waikato Facebook page.

He wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t leave

Aroha lives in a flat and the Tenancy Agreement is in her name. She has a difficult flatmate and she has asked him to leave but he gets abusive and she is concerned for her safety. What can she do? Aroha needs to put in writing that she wants him to vacate the flat by a certain date. She does not need to give him 72 days notice because he did not sign the Tenancy Agreement and therefore is a flatmate with no legal rights. Aroha can book a free legal appointment with the CAB( at WSU), or if she feels it is more urgent go to the police The Hamilton Area Citizens Advice Bureau provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (MonFri 9am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am-4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Tues-Thurs 1-3pm). They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialised help. Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

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SHORT NEWS

Gay To Be Banned An academic with a Masters in education is hoping to ban the use of the word ‘gay’ in schools, as it is being in a derogatory way. Warren Bowers, himself gay, had this to say: “It does need to be explained that homophobic language is not OK ... it’s kind of a last bastion of accepted prejudice.”

FOR TALL PEOPLE Summer Camp Sale Ends Steam, the desktop games browser, has recently ended their Summer Camp Sales for 2011. Many Waikato students took advantage of the sales to empty their bank accounts at a time when the New Zealand dollar was exceptionally high, allowing New Zealanders to buy games at much lower than they would if they actually went into a shop.

Royal Wedding Becomes Royal Pain The creepy fairy-tale wedding of Prince Albert II of Monaco and a former South African Olympic swimmer is getting stranger by the day.

Students on the Nexus facebook described attempts to ban the word as “gay” and “pointless”. Emails received by Nexus have suggested other words for use in place of gay: “weak-sauce”, “man on man average” and “dudes who totally kiss”.

Another Fat American

Local game suppliers aren’t impressed.

The Prince, two decades older than his bride, slept in a separate hotel during their honeymoon in Princess Charlene’s homeland of South Africa.

Texan doctors were shocked when a human woman gave birth to a 7.2kg human child over the weekend.

One local game vender even claimed that “Valve are making people fat by letting them stay home to buy games, rather than driving to a store and then walking to talk to actual people. People who use Steam are total losers”

They then left early in the morning so the Prince could take part in a paternity test being demanded by at least one woman.

Colonel Nicholas Fury is believed to be en route with a full team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in preparation for the baby continuing its growth, turning green and trying to have a pash with Jennifer Connelly.

In other news, a local video game store was found to be staffed by people who are sore at being left behind by technology. Sucks to be you, Dad.

Prince Albert II has two children already, one with an American tourist and the other with a flight attendant from Togo.

American health experts are also en route to try and explain the growing number of Americans who are born overweight, hoping to find a way to blame al-Qaeda for the increase in American pant sizes.

Janet Johnson moved the 16-pound chunk of person through her god-given tubes in an East Texas hospital, shocking the doctors and nurses who rushed to see the monstrosity as it emerged.

Haiku News

By Musashi

Peter Dunne: Chronic clamp-down in weeks Government stop sales: Ah, an acute solution To Chronic problem.

Midwives attack magazine over cover North and South hang kid For controversial cover. But not from clothesline.

Baby talk after alleged Julian Assange rape Allege rape, birth child; Maybe his prophylactic Had a WikiLeak?

Retirement issues ‘must be addressed’ Too many old folk, And not enough taxpayers Leads to killing spree.

PMS ad campaign backfires Men: the real victims! “Buy milk to calm the bitch down!” Why are women mad?

NZ questions China’s Pacific aid strategy Chance for debt crisis? “What happened to you, China? You used to be cool…”

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SPORTS THOUGHTS

THE MAROONS STAY IN MANTROL, AGAIN

WITH C.BALL

If you haven’t jumped on the Queensland Maroons bandwagon yet like most of their New Zealand supporters have, feel free to do so. There is something that bemuses me every time I hear a New Zealander go “oh man, fuck I love the Maroons”, because when you really think about

Maroons have installed in State of Origin, without kicking rich white farmers off their land so natives can rape and pillage it, start fires, and ruin the economy some more. The Maroons have killed the competition faster than what the Outback did to the Bloody Beetroot’s song ‘Warp 1.9’. It was cool,

it, they don’t. New Zealanders have no affiliation to State of Origin considering it’s an Australian creation, the pinnacle of Rugby League fought between representatives from the two states New South Wales and Queensland. However, the Queensland Maroons have once again come away with a series victory, but no one is really all the surprised when a team with a bigger dick than Moby Dick fuck shit up.

until I heard it in there. Now it isn’t, and no one plays it anymore. Thanks a bunch. The Maroons have now won State of Origin a massive six times in a row, prompting boorish remarks like “Mal Meninga is a super coach.” What does he even have to do to 17 awesome players, most of which play for Australia too. Oh, so that’s how you catch a ball, thanks for the wisdom coach.

I’ve been watching State of Origin for many years now, but it took me until this year to finally feel like I could actually give a shit about who won. For those of you who are League noobs, Origin has always been hailed as the most even competition on the face of the Earth. And while that may sound a little dramatic, it was for the most part true. Upon its inception in 1982, the yearly three match series created one of the greatest sporting rivalries, as no team ever managed to win more than three series in a row. That was until 2009, when for the first time ever, the Queensland Maroons won a fourth series, entering the record books and starting what many of you know as ‘jumping on the bandwagon’. Suddenly everyone was a Maroons fan, and for good measure too, considering the Maroons boast a starting 13 that could slap Steven Segal in the face and get away with it, while winning a fuck load of games in the process with their sheer awesomeness. I became a New South Wales Blues supporter for a number of reasons this year, mainly because I’m sick of watching the Maroons win, but also because Jamie Soward is dope, and Paul Gallen is now the second hardest motherfucker on Sesame Street, naturally behind Jeremy Smith. No one likes a dictatorship, and that’s what the

The thing about the Blues is that the chance of them winning is pretty slim, and has been for a long time. The Maroons boast what could be one of the greatest halves combinations in the history of Rugby League, with halfback Johnathan Thurston and Wayne Bennet’s secret love child Darren Lockyer at five eighth having paired up together in both State of Origin and for Australia for years. And if the halves don’t choke you out with their nuts, chances are another player will step up and do the business, because Queensland has a range of Australian international players all over the field. You’ve got that slack jawed hick Billy Slater at fullback, followed casually by Justin Hodges, Greg Inglis the behemoth, Darius Boyd, and sometimes Anthony Minichello. But for those that say this Queensland side is the best ever. Calm down buddy. When your squad has Dane Nielsen and Jharal Yow Yeh you are taking the piss. Microsoft Word just shat itself trying to comprehend how fucked up that second name was, and decided it’d just give up and lazily put some red lines under the words in some sort of attempt to point out to me that it doesn’t agree with what I’ve typed. Yow Yeh is playing for Israel Folau, so don’t even waste my time. And as for Dane Nielsen, snore. Next year support the Blues and watch Gallen claw faces off. Oh hey Brenna, enjoy your plug. 11

HAMILTON EAST POLICE REPORT

23 JUNE - 7 JULY 2011

Hi everyone. This week we have decided to give the Police Report a bit of a revamp. We have asked Constable Nick to provide us with data on assaults and car break-ins around campus, as well as the usual burglary information. We hope you will find the extra data interesting and useful for increasing your personal security. Stay safe!

WITH CONSTABLE NICK SICKELMORE

LEGEND: BURGLARY THEFT EX CAR ASSAULT

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A QUICK ONE-TWO

LEFT JAB WITH KATE Poverty is relative. Though we’re all privileged to be living in New Zealand, some of our citizens are starved of basic needs. We do not live in a poor country yet thousands struggle day to day because a few rich motherfuckers won’t give up their excesses. I’m a wee bit angry. Please excuse me if I go off track. Rich people complaining about taxes make me want to punch someone in the face. Personally I’d prefer to live in a world without money. Then again there would still be greed so I guess I’ll have to settle for writing filthy words about rich wankers. Some people believe that they are the most important in the world and that their little pleasures are worth more than someone else life. Greed is at the heart of so many of the world’s problems. Though capital gains taxes aren’t exactly popular they are used effectively in many other countries. New Zealanders seem to think they have the right not to pay tax on their property profits. Yet so many kiwi families can’t even buy their first home. Labour’s policy of a 15% tax on capital gain makes the exclusions which support everyday New Zealanders. The family home, inherited assets and holiday homes if passed down the generations are exempt, encouraging a less individualistic and money driven society. Christchurch is also free from this tax for five years in order to compensate for earthquake damage. As a means to generate more state revenue, a capital gains tax is better than National’s preferences of putting state assets at risk or taking more from the poor. The Labour Party seem to have discovered that not only do poor people exist, they have feelings too. John Key thinks the prospect is ‘hideously complicated’ but he’s probably referring to the process he will have to go through to keep his millions safe. Of course he’s not happy about a fairer tax system, he’s more of a “genocide of the poor” kind of guy. Yes it may be a disincentive to invest in residential property but many people did that before to avoid taxation. If you’ve got something to invest why not put it into something productive? Kiwis are renowned for innovation and ideas. If you want more money how about using your brain and actually working for it. Do something that gives back by building jobs and boosting the economy.

RIGHT CROSS WITH SQUIDDY. This will be an easy one for Miss Cogswell to write up. She will probably talk about a Capital Gains Tax closing the poverty gap or how Capital Gains taxes have been adopted by Canada, Great Britain, the USA and Australia. She will tell you all of these things because she is young, idealistic and doesn’t have a real job. The reality is that Capital Gains Taxes are great in theory: tax the rich as they can afford it because the can afford to buy property. It helps secure the welfare state and stops the massive foreign investment into our real-estate without similar investment in infrastructure or the labour force. I call bullshit! There are four things you need to know before you make the argument for Capital Gains Tax: 1. Major foreign investment still happened in those countries who introduced the taxes so the only ones who were really hit were the working class. 2. The country is on the road to economic recovery. To push through any tax now has the power to undo all the work we have done. 3. The period when we would have seen the biggest benefit from a Capital Gains Tax was 2000 to 2007 when the housing market was in a very insular bubble. I’m racking my brain trying to think of reasons Labour didn’t do it then.... (see 4.) 4. If the election were held today National would have 65 seats, a clear seven seat majority. It’s that last one that is the most important. The “left” had nine years to put a cap gains tax into place. They were pretty dominant in those years too, but they didn’t. The reason they didn’t is that no one is really sure what will happen in a Capital Gains Tax environment. It’s a nuclear option that may do more harm than good but when you’re in opposition and on the brink of political irrelevancy you need to swing for the fences. A Capital Gains Tax would be irresponsible when the country was in a great position, when the country is fighting its way out of a recession it is criminal. Let’s not forget it’s suggested by the same guys that drove us into the recession in the first place. The left’s “election tourette’s” isn’t going to help them on this anymore than it did when they screamed about state asset sales. But I guess that’s what you do when you are all out of options. In the absence of real leadership you hope people will be swayed by the guys yelling the loudest. Unfortunately for them New Zealand isn’t listening anymore.

Oh right. Selfish, rich fucks. 13

PREZ SEZ Waikato Students achieving on all levels Welcome back to B Semester. I hope that you all enjoyed Disorientation Week. It was great to see so many students out enjoying themselves and getting back into the swing of things as B Semester takes off. One of the things that has been heartening to see recently has been the large number of successes from University of Waikato students, many of whom have been supported in their journeys by the WSU. For instance, a huge (and slightly belated) congratulations needs to go out to the fifteen University of Waikato students who received a Tāwera Scholarship earlier this month: well done to all of you! For those who haven’t heard of this before, the Tāwera Scholarship – provided by Te Pūtea Whakatupu Trust in partnership with the Māori Education Trust – provides recipients with $10,000 to put towards their study costs this year. Waikato cleaned up this year, receiving fifteen out of

the thirty scholarships that were offered to commerce students throughout the country. Many of these students were also participants at the Te Ranga Ngaku Haeringa held over the break. You can read about Haeringa in more detail over the page, but in essence the event involved students visiting quite a few organisations in Auckland and learning about graduate pathways into those workplaces. The WSU is proud to support

I believe that nothing could be further than the truth. The current members of the WSU Board of Directors are hardworking people who put in a significant amount of time and effort to improve both the Waikato Students’ Union, and the general student experience here at the University of Waikato. Many of the Board members are incredibly busy people, who ran for the WSU because they wanted to serve students despite their own busy schedules. In fact, the two Directors who resigned from the WSU (Holly Neilson and Dan Morales) did so because they both moved away from Hamilton, and knew that they wouldn’t be able to put in the time and effort expected by the rest of the Board.

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Deni Tokunai WSU President

Many of our clubs have also had recent successes. WSU club ASKEW recently hosted UniQ 2011 (The Annual GLBT conference for New Zealand tertiary students) here at the University of Waikato, which by all accounts was a great success. We also heard from DebSoc – another WSU club – last week with stories of their successes this year: well done! Up in management, the Waikato SIFE Team are also due to give their annual presentation this coming weekend (at the

VP SPEAK Many of you will have seen last week’s letter in Nexus alleging that the current members of the WSU Executive do the bare minimum required and generally contribute very little to the organization.

WITH DENI

027 5734241 president@wsu.org.nz

time of writing): we wish you all the best and hope that this goes well. Don’t forget that WSU is here for you, so come in and see me if you think there’s a way that we can help you out. Send me an email to president@wsu.org.nz or even a text to 027 573 4241. All the best for B semester!

WITH CHARLIE

Throughout A Semester, for instance, Directors could be seen each week down on the Village Green during Cultural Hour, helping out with the events and activities, and talking to students about what they wanted from the WSU. Director attendance at Board meetings this year has been close to (or at) 100% for almost all of the Directors – see next week’s Nexus for an updated attendance table. Many of the Directors also sit on University committees, making sure that the WSU has a voice in the decision-making processes of the university. A lot of the work Directors do is ‘behind the scenes’ stuff, but still ‘stuff’ that benefits students.

Charlie Gillard Vice-President Waikato Students’ Union 027 4670276 vp@wsu.org.nz

That said, my big push this year as VicePresident has been to have more engagement with students regarding what the Board should be doing. To that end, if you think that the Board isn’t doing much, I’d love to know what you think they should be doing: send me an email at vp@wsu.org.nz and I’ll shout you a coffee and have a chat about what you want to get out of your students’ union.

All the best for the rest of B Semester, good luck for your studies, and all the best for your time at the University of Waikato! Charlie

CLUB CORNER: Ko te ropu nei a Te Ranga Ngaku he ropu tautoko i nga tauria maori i roto i te kura Raupapa o te Whare Wananga o Waikato. Ko te tino kaupapa o Te Ranga Ngaku hei whakakotahi nga tauira maori ki te kura Raupapa i raro i manaakitanga me te whakawhanaungatanga, hei whakapiki te ihi, wehi me te harikoa i roto i nga tauria maori me o ratou whainga ki te matauranga.

PICTURE LOG Te Ranga Ngaku

Ko tetahi kaupapa nui o roto o Te Ranga Ngaku hei whakarite tetahi haerenga mo nga mema o te ropu. Ko te kaupapa o te tenei haerenga hei whakanui ano i whanaungatanga kei Wanganui nga tauira maori, a, i runga i tenei haerenga ka uru nga tauira kei waenganui i nga umanga pakehe ki te kit ahuatanga me nga huarahi mo tetahi mahi a muri i o ratou akonga. For those who don’t know, Te Ranga Ngaku is the Maori Management Student Network. They are a non-profit organisation also known as the Māori Management Student Network within the University of Waikato in Hamilton/Tauranga, in Aotearoa (New Zealand). They exist to provide academic, cultural and social support towards Māori students who at least study one paper from Waikato Management School. For 13 years now Te Ranga Ngaku has been hosting an annual Haerenga to various cities throughout New Zealand and the world. Essentially Haerenga is a five day trip that includes approximately 30 Te Ranga Ngaku students, visiting six various organisations. The purpose of Haerenga is to establish/ strengthen the networks between the Te Ranga Ngaku members and potential employers.

show Code, and lastly hitting the town. In addition to having fun, this allowed for all of the participants to unwind after each day and to also discuss on what they had learned or found interesting from the various visits. This year’s Haeranga was a huge success, and Te Ranga Ngaku would like to thank Ebony De Thierry and Penengaru Delaney for the tight organisation, and Taupaki Marsden for the being the meanest driver! Te Ranga Ngaku also extends their thanks towards the Waikato Students’ Union, who gratefully provided sponsorship from the WSU Sponsorship Fund to help subsidise the cost of the trip. Thanks also need to go to the Pro Vice Chancellor (Māori) office for their continuing financial support of the event.

This year Te Ranga Ngaku took their Haerenga to the big bad city of Auckland. The organisations visited this year included Telecom, Ernst & Young, Rugby World Cup, Air New Zealand, Saatchi & Saatchi and Maori TV. Through these visits Te Ranga Ngaku was able to have an insight into the daily operation of some of the largest and most successful organisations within New Zealand, and the world. Te Ranga Ngaku was also given tips on how to go about applying for jobs including various processes that some of the larger firms use, such as psychometric testing, interviews, graduate assessment days and so forth. As Whakawhanaungatanga goes, Te Ranga Ngaku found time between organisation visits to do some shopping (as there were 25 females, and 4 males), jet boating, karaoke, quiz night, be in the audience of Maori TV 15

PICTURE LOG Disorientation Week 2011

EVENT PREVIEW WSU NOHO MARAE

Are you keen to learn a bit more about Māori culture? Want to experience a traditional Hākari (Māori feast)? Interested in staying the night in one of the most beautiful marae in the country? If so, then WSU Noho Marae 2011 is an event for you! As the name suggests (Noho Marae translates to ‘a stay on a marae’) WSU Noho Marae is a trip organized by the WSU for those who want to experience Māori culture and stay on a marae. The event basically involves going out to a local marae and staying there for the night. At the marae, there are numerous activities that you can be involved in (such as learning some of the Māori language, having a go at traditional Māori games, and learning about haka and poi), plus there is a traditional Māori dinner, including a hangi: yum! The event is open to all students. For instance, you might be an exchange student who wants to learn as much about New Zealand as possible whilst you’re here. Alternatively, you might be a domestic student who wants to learn a bit more about

Māori culture than just how to say ‘Kia Ora’ and whatever else you learned in standard three in Primary School. Or you might be an international student who would like to experience Māori culture firsthand. Thanks to funding from both the University of Waikato Cultural Committee and the University of Waikato International Services Office, we are proud to say that we are offering tickets to this year’s Noho Marae at a low cost of just $10 per person! And for those wondering, yes, that $10 covers everything: food, accommodation and the bus ride there and back. So, in essence, the WSU Noho Marae educates you about Māori culture, provides you with a delicious traditional Māori dinner, teaches you how to learn that haka / poi routine you’ve always wanted to know, and gets you doing something different – all for just $10. If this sounds like a sweet deal to you, then come in to the WSU reception and grab a ticket as soon as you can, or email Charlie at vp@wsu.org.nz if you have any questions.

EVENT RECAP DISORIENTATION WEEK

By the time you read this, it will all be over. The ASB Breakfast and Bar101 BBQs will all have been eaten, the bands will all have played during the evening, the Comedy Night will have led to a great deal of laughter, and

well. The wind and the rain may have kept a few people away from AUM ad NI-N-JAH who played on Monday and Tuesday night respectively, but from all accounts the WSU Comedy Night was a huge success with about

Soundscape will have been a blast. Hopefully the wind and rain will also have gone away too, meaning that the sun will be shining again!

200 students coming along to listen to the very funny Jan Maree, Vaughn King, and Ewen Gilmour.

Overall, at the time of writing (Wednesday evening), Disorientation seems to have gone

The WSU was also happy to provide a ride to town (and back) from the University bus stop each night to thankless students: for the most part, it was a pleasure to take you in to the CBD and bring you back home again. For those who missed out on Disorientation, check out the photos to the left: we hope you had a blast. If you have any feedback (whether comments on how much you loved Disorientation or ideas on how to improve for next time) then our events team would love to hear them; flick Dave an email at events@ wsu.org.nz and let him know what you think.

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2011

Poi Haka Tikanga Kēmu (Games) Waiata (Songs) Te Reo Māori Hākari (Māori Feast) When: 12-13th August Where: Papa o Te Aroha Marae in Tokoroa (Free Bus from WSU) Cost: $10 (Register at the WSU Reception before July 29) Email vp@wsu.org.nz for more info! WSU thanks the University of Waikato International Services Office and the University of Waikato Cultural Committee for their support towards the event

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Special General Meeting (SGM) Thursday 21st July 2011 L.G.05 1 – 2 PM

•Are you a Māori student @ the University of Waikato? •Want to get involved in Māori run events like Te Huinga Tauira? •Come and get involved at the Waiora elections, if you have questions or want to run for a position email your interest to te.waiora.o.waikato@gmail.com, nominations can be made on the day as well.

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For a thousand millennia, the lords of darkness have plotted the fall of man. For a thousand more they shall struggle to pierce the veil, reaching forth with clawed hands and crooked fingers to snatch at mortal souls. Only one being holds back the tide of foul, evil rot as it assails our dimension. For he is known to all, but his name changes as often as the answers he gives! Some cry forth to their precious messiah and their foolish prophets, but know this: the only one listening, the only hope you have, rests within the inky expanse and all seeing eye we call THE MAGIC 8-BALL!

WITH MADAME KERBALICIOUS

Taurus: April 21 – May 21

Since Neptune is manhandling Saturn this week, it’s time to murder everyone you know. Even the people you love. Especially the people you love.

Gemini: May 22 – June 21 As winter grinds on, with the cold seeping into your bones like soup into bread, the mould slowly growing over your clothes like a bubbling plague, the abandoned cats from Semester A yowling into the fog, your raging manifesto on a super-efficient society free of deviants and wastrels that grows longer and more gratuitously brutal by the day--you find yourself wondering: should I have gone to Soundscape?

Cancer: June 22 – July 23 Ask thy questions and save thy own soul! Are students these days too slack to protest? NO Silence fool, for thou art in the presence of a god! Also: students are too slack to do anything these days. I invented the internet and I invented laziness, so if you wish to hold a protest, you had better have some turtle doves prepped to sacrifice to me! If you’re short on turtle doves, I suggest ducks. There’s far too many of them as it is. Should Fijian military personnel be allowed into New Zealand for the Rugby World Cup? ALL SIGNS POINT TO YES! You can’t defeat your enemies in combat if they aren’t allowed to journey to the field of battle! If we can lure them here with promises of easy victories over teams which don’t really know what rugby is and high hotel prices, then our trap will be set. Japan is the bait. I SHALL BE THE HOOKED FINGERS OF VENGEANCE! Everywhere they go, they shall feel my single dark eye following them. I will lurk in their shadows. I don’t care what form of government their shitty island has. WE WILL DEFEAT THEM ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE! Could you have made it rain less during Disorientation Week? NO! I can only make things worse! Have you ever read the shit advice I give people? Do you like Dubstep? CANNOT PREDICT NOW! Because I am dancing too hard! I hear you ask: “How can a Magic 8-Ball dance?” and I reply “Magic motherfucker”. Dubstep is popular now and will be popular with fifty year olds in thirty year’s time. I have foreseen it and I know how music fads work. There’s a fuck tonne of forty year old punks out there.

It’s the Moon’s alignment with Saturn that makes this week all about taking life by the face and vomiting down its throat.

Leo: July 24 – Aug 23 Since Mars is rising this week, it’s time to reflect on the I’m-notfucking-cleaning-the-kitchen situation that has put your flat into a stalemate. Be the bigger human. Buy paper plates. Cover the benches with newspaper. Start burying your waste in the garden.

Virgo: Aug24 – Sep 23 Your butt will come into play in a big way this week. If you play your cards right.

Libra: Sep 24 – Oct 23 This week i.waikato finds itself having a nervous breakdown as you (and everyone else) scramble to change into that magical paper with no exam and no fucking gold-plated textbook. Pro Tip: Screen and Media Studies.

Scorpio: Oct 24 – Nov 22 As Mercury glides into your domestic pop-opera zone, you’ll notice that Hayley Westenra has suddenly acquired a really, really, really decent set of milky pillows.

Sagittarius: Nov 23 – Dec 21 This week you’ll wake one fine morning to an enormous clanking sound, followed by the rattling of chains and the slamming of an old iron door. You’ve been at Uni for a year and a half! Congrats.

Capricorn: Dec 22 – Jan 20 This week you’ll wake one fine morning to hear “whose faeces is this?” echoing down the hall.

Aquarius: Jan 21 – Feb 19 Today you’ll read someone else’s horoscope.

Pisces: Feb 20 – Mar 20 This week you’ll discover that pissing into the sink is even more enjoyable than pissing in the garden.

Aries: Mar 21 – Apr 20 Something is troubling you. The years are whipping past you, as if you’re speeding towards death while the world around you remains the same, leaving you old, grey and spent in a town unchanged and unimproved by your birth. You re-trace your parent’s steps out of the hospital, dying in a ward down the hall from where you were born. It’s like you were never here.

SEND IN YOUR PUNY QUESTIONS TO EDITOR@NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ AND HE SHALL COMMENCE THE RITUAL TO SPEAK WITH THE MAGIC 8-BALL!!! 19

DANIEL FARRELL COMMEMORATIVE

Puzzle Page

Brought to you by Mighty Strong Friends of Nexus; Event Cinemas and Frozen Coke Smugglers

Welcome back to the strange existence that is tertiary education. Not quite the same as high school, but let’s be honest, not the real world either. It’s about time we hit the books and get this new semester off to a good start, right? Well, no. Wrong. First, we have a little thing of Re-O Week. You first must acquire alcohol. So, that’s the theme this week. Bar’s in our beloved Tron. And yes, Pie Lab is there. Because let’s be honest, we miss Pie Lab like crazy...

THE BIG BAD wordFIND

the wORDS HIKOI HOLD UP SIGNS HUNGER STRIKE MAKE A PETITION RIOT STOP WORK MEETING

WHAT TO DO The Furious Puzzle Page

(seriously, it’s pretty darn cross) Brought to you by the strong mind of Event Cinemas, in both Chartwell and Centreplace flavours! Mmmmm, delicious frozen coke! Be warned, this is the most difficult puzzle page ever!

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SUDOKU TIME

AT THE MOVIES WITH DR. RICHARD SWAINSON

AFTERNOONS WITH MARGUERITTE DIRECTED BY JEAN BECKER

POTICHE

DIRECTED BY FRANÇOIS OZON

There is no way around the fact that Gerard Depardieu is a big boy these days. He’s never been an oil painting, with bulbous broken nose and heavy-set features but now that he’s in his 60s his weight has ballooned to gargantuan proportions. No wonder he’s repeatedly cast as Obélix.

The French actress Catherine Deneuve became a star in 1964 in the charming, all sung musical “The Umbrellas of Cherbourg”. “Potiche” is something of an extended homage to Deneuve and “Cherbourg”, casting the iconic actress as the pampered wife of an arrogant businessman who takes up the challenge of running the family factory when her husband falls ill. Given the fact that it’s an

The actor’s girth aside, Depardieu enjoys one of his best recent parts in “My Afternoons with Margueritte”. He plays Germain Chazes, a borderline illiterate, an intellectually challenged late middle aged odd job man whose troubles in life all stem from a woeful relationship with his mother. Growing up feeling unwanted and unloved by an emotionally distant and sometime promiscuous solo parent, Germain struggled at school and continues to be the butt of his friends’ jokes.

umbrella factory and that almost every screen moment is accompanied by lush music you expect Deneuve to burst into song. When at the very end she does just that it’s the icing on a very nostalgic cake.

Such plot as the film has involves Germain’s friendship with the titular Margueritte, a 95 year old spinster whom he meets in the park. A former teacher, she teaches him the joys of literature, transforming his outlook on life. If this sounds simplistic and schematic it’s because it is. Director/ co-writer Jean Becker might be adapting a well respected book but in structure and theme “Margueritte” bears a close resemblance to his “Conversations with My Gardener”. Both films are about a mutually beneficial friendship between polar opposites. Both work episodically, with each encounter between the pair peeling away another level of difference until the common humanity of the characters is laid bare. As Margueritte 96 year old Gisèle Casadesus is restrained and subtle, undercutting the inherent sentiment of the situation. The core scenes between her and Depardieu cannot fail to move. Outside of these scenes there are many flaws. The subplots and supporting characters are at best sketchy and underdeveloped. Germain seems to live in the kind of idealised small town world that 1930s director Frank Capra specialised in, an almost magical realm where everybody knows everybody else’s business. If his relationship with his mother strains credibility - in his seventh decade he’s still living in a caravan on her property - Germain’s romantic life is absolutely ridiculous. How would any ignorant, impoverished behemoth ever score a woman three decades his junior? For all that “Afternoons with Margueritte” leaves you wanting more. It comes to an abrupt end at the 82 minute mark. Extra time could potentially have fleshed out the thin subplots or provided a more polished resolution. .

Set during 1977, “Potiche” casts a bemused eye over the sexual politics of an era where feminist activism was making itself felt in the workplace. It’s a lot more fun and only slightly more farcical than the British equivalent from earlier this year, “Made in Dagenham”. While that film was based loosely on true events and focused exclusively on working class women, “Potiche” opts for mild satire, poking fun at both capitalist and socialist extremes and unashamedly concentrating on the personal liberation of a rich individual. Deneuve’s Suzanne Pujol has a yearning for the old fashioned management style of her father, an approach based on respect for one’s workers and a humanistic recognition of responsibility to employees. Essentially she takes a paternalistic model and changes the gender of the person at the top. She becomes the mother of the factory and subsequently, when running for parliament, the mother of the region. Suzanne’s song climaxes an extraordinary sequence in which maternalism is fancifully seen as a political movement. Deneuve is superb in a role most probably written for her seasoned talents. The supporting cast is also strong. Gerard Depardieu, his belly now grossly distended, is no longer the leading man who romanced the actress 31 years ago in Truffaut’s “The Last Metro”. Playing second fiddle however doesn’t mean playing second rate: Depardieu brings a gruff poignancy to the part of an old communist agitator turned politician, a one time lover of Suzanne and closet romantic. Almost as good is Fabrice Luchini as Suzanne’s insufferable spouse and Judith Godreche, all Farah Fawcett hair and bitchiness, as her traitorous daughter. Perhaps “Potiche” could have been funnier or more pointed in its satire. The charms of its veteran cast and Ozon’s assured visual sense carry it a long way though and it never completely succumbs to predictability.

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AUTEUR HOUSE

HAMILWOOD

WITH RICHARD SWAINSON

WITH SCOTT GRANVILLE

Last week we examined how great film careers came to an end. This week it is the turn of auspicious beginnings. How did some of the medium’s best directors kick things off? Some started as they meant to go on, others began in the breach, compromised by inexperience or studio politics.

The Good: Un Chien Andalou (Luis Bunuel, 1929). Does screen surrealism begin and end with Bunuel? He and Dali revolutionised cinema with this ant encrusted,

Reflections from Bodega There is something quite disconcerting about the scene unfolding in front of us. One of Alfred Hitchcock’s leading ladies, Tippi Hedren of The Birds (1963) fame, puts on a hand puppet of a crow before having her photo taken with an excited fan. Total cost to the fan: US$40. Total cost to Ms. Hedren: well you can’t help but wonder what runs through the now 81-year-old’s mind every time she has to share screen space with the black avian that must certainly haunt her dreams.

eye-ball slicing succession of visual non-sequiturs. Citizen Kane (Orson Welles, 1941). The debut par excellence. At 25 Welles set the standard that no one could equal (including, sadly, himself). A biography, a newspaper story, an examination of power and the difference between material success and happiness, Kane is that rare thing: a film whose thematic ambition is equaled by its technical virtuosity. Pather Panchali (Satyagit Ray, 1955). The film that put Indian cinema on

On the weekend of 28-29 May, 2011, co-director Ben Woollen and I find ourselves in Bodega Bay, California, principal shooting location for The Birds those many years ago. Hence the Hedren autograph signing which we have decided to investigate, apparently still quite the money-spinner judging by the line of people willing to fork over US$25-$45 for the privilege of a photo or signature.

the map, the first installment of an unparalleled trilogy of family tragedy and renewal. Ray’s debt to one-time mentor Jean Renoir can be felt in the saga’s profound humanism.

The Bad: Fear and Desire (Stanley Kubrick, 1953). Long suppressed by an embarrassed Kubrick, out-of-focus, amateurly written, acted and produced. The

We are in town for the Bodega Bay International Film Festival, having spent the best part of six months completing our latest short film, Lily White, applying for festivals and deciding on acceptance to Bodega Bay to take a chance and meet what we hope is a number of likeminded film-makers from around the globe.

unlikeliest of starting points for genius. Piranha II: The Flying Killers (James Cameron, 1983). I saw this on first release. Not very scary and nowhere near as camp as it should be, few would have predicted that Cameron would go on to make the two biggest box office hits of recent times. Alien 3 (David Fincher, 1992). Visually strong, dramatically a mess, New Zealand’s own Vincent Ward was also badly burnt by this messy production.

Independent film-making can be quite a lonely venture in Hamilton, particularly when it sometimes feels like most of the investment in both time and money are being funneled down the throats of Auckland and Wellington based production companies. So when an opportunity such as the Bodega Bay Festival is offered, it seems foolhardy not to grab it with both hands.

Fincher thereafter redeemed himself with Seven and hasn’t looked back since.

The Interesting: Straight Shooting (John Ford, 1917). Available to watch on Youtube, Ford’s first feature demonstrates that his eye for composition and sense of storytelling were there from the start. It’s also clear what John Wayne stole from star Harry Carey.

At the festival itself, over seventy films from more than twenty countries are screened across two days. We watch some incredible short films; meet and greet talented, yet for the most part, modest, creative people, and most importantly make contacts with producers who have access to real money and big ideas.

Bad Taste (Peter Jackson, 1987). As crude and stomach churning as the title suggests, Jackson’s blackly comedic splatterfest redefined New Zealand cinema. However low the budget, love of the medium screams out from every frame. In the Company of Men (Neil La Bute, 1997). Perhaps the most ideologically upsetting film of the 90s, a nasty reflection on patriarchal corporate culture in which two bad men manipulate an innocent deaf woman. La Bute has completely lost his way since.

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While the festival itself is encouraging and rewarding, on driving out of town on a foggy Sunday afternoon, it’s hard not to shake the image of a recognisable film-star wearing a puppet on her hand. It reinforces the reality of how quickly time passes, and if you are not willing to live in the moment and take every opportunity that presents itself, you can never be sure of what the future holds.

LOOKING AT NOISES WITH JEREMY MAYALL & AYMAN ANEECE English Blues musicians including Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce, Peter Green, John McVie, and Mick Fleetwood among others. This album (released in 1972) is from a period between the Bluesbreakers line-ups, just after Mayall had moved to the US and is a live album made up of recordings from college concerts in Boston and New York in 1971. The album title is a bit misleading – it is not fusion of the likes of Weather Report or The Headhunters - the tracks are mostly blues in rhythm and chord progressions, but feature jazzy overtones expertly scattered about – largely through the inclusion of trumpet (Blue Mitchell) and sax (Clifford Solomon).

JAZZ BLUES FUSION JOHN MAYALL

As this is my first review, it might seem rather nepotistic

for me to review an album by an artist with the same last name. I have only met him once (after a concert at the House of Blues in Anaheim), and the main reason for picking this album to review first is because this is the first album I purchased with my own hard earned money. John Mayall, OBE is a blues musician/songwriter who has a career spanning over fifty years. He was the founder of John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers – a band that has featured a veritable who’s who of

There is something about this record that just “works”. It is an album that I never tire of playing – I have been listening to it for about 15 years, I know all the solos, but I get such joy out of hearing this music. As is the way with most Mayall albums each track has its own “personality”, ranging from standard English-meetsChicago Blues (Country Road) to Rhythm&Blues (Mess Around) to more jazzy tracks (Change Your Ways). The stand-out cut for me would have to be “Exercise in C Major for Harmonica, Bass and Shufflers” – a track showcasing Mayall’s skill on the harmonica, then exploding out to feature bass, drums and guitar. This is one of my favourite albums, and is a great introduction to one of the godfathers of English Blues. -JM

Beastwars is an apocalyptic adventure of doom and despair. Yet it manages to fill the listener with a thirst for triumph that ultimately leaves them broken. It doesn’t feel like a depressing wait for death, but a desperate and primal fight for survival. The epic and almost war like drums combine with fuzzy, depressing, disjointed and violent blues guitar and bass lines –creating a symphony of suffering and oppression. This is further added to by Hyde’s unique and monstrous vocal style, which alternates between a mournful and mystical murmur and a visceral; blood thirsty, battle cry that doesn’t compare to any other vocal style I’ve ever heard. This all combines to form an apocalypse story of horror and survival – zombies optional.

BEASTWARS BEASTWARS

A good album should be satisfying to listen to start to finish, it should take the listener on a journey or at least tell a story. It also shouldn’t be the same song over and over again; it shouldn’t be all depressing, all angry nor all happy the whole way through. A good album needs juxtaposition and points of contrast to give the album depth. I am rather displeased to say that this is the case with Beastwars, because frankly it makes reviewing an album of such calibre damn near impossible. I struggle to find fault. It takes the listener on a voyage; it reaches to the very recesses of the soul and fills them with a foreboding sense of dread and doom - something I find as a Doom Metal fan incredibly satisfying.

The world this album will take you to is a dark and lonely one, where the elements themselves are against you. Songs like ‘Call of the dead’ will have you surrender to the fate that awaits you. ‘Damn the sky’ will have you yelling alongside Hyde as he bellows. You will want to fight, you will get angry and you will try to overcome what is before you but ultimately will you survive? The only real fault I can find with this album is the track ‘Lake of fire’ personally I find it repetitive and compared to the rest of the album rather boring – luckily this isn’t a problem because every other track is a masterpiece. This is a tiny personal grievance not worthy of considering. Beastwars is a work of genius and I strongly recommend it to any stoner doom, metal or heavy rock fans -hell open minded blues fans might get a kick out of it. You can listen to their whole album for free at: http://beastwars.bandcamp.com/. -AA 23

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THIS IS yOUR OPPORTUNITy

Fairfax New Zealand Journalism Internships FAIRFAX MEDIA, publisher of the country’s leading newspapers, magazines and websites, is again seeking bright, aspiring journalists to become the outstanding journalists of tomorrow as part of our intern scheme. We want the best people to be part of our multi-media organisation. The scheme is now in its fifth year and already those chosen are making their mark not just in newsrooms but in national media awards. The successful applicants are chosen by editors and editorial leaders throughout Fairfax after they prioritise the Fairfax Media organisations they would like to work for. After undergoing exceptional training at one of our five preferred journalism schools – the University of Canterbury, Massey University, Wellington, the Waikato Institute of Technology (Wintec), Aoraki Polytechnic, Dunedin, and the Auckland University of Technology (AUT) – interns join their chosen newspaper or website.

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We will reimburse the fees of those who pass and provide challenging work afterwards in our newsrooms. As well, we provide ongoing training and opportunities to advance. We are seeking highly motivated people from all walks of life to join us. A relevant tertiary qualification is preferred but we will consider candidates who have minimum qualifications of NCEA Level 3 or the relevant life skills.

For further information and to apply online at: http://www.fairfaxmedia.co.nz/careers/journalism-internships.dot before noon on Monday, August 1, 2011

STUDENT PROTEST:

TIANANMEN

SQUARE

With Jimmy

25

E H T

L E B E R R U TO

A RACE BASED HISTORY The Springboks were the toughest opposition for the All Blacks, but politics had long interfered with the selection policy. Māori players had been omitted for tours to South Africa since the 1940s: the New Zealand Rugby Football Union (NZRFU) chose to leave players like the great George Nēpia out of the All Blacks side. Through selection by skin colour they became all whites, limiting themselves to the South African game. New Zealander’s wanted to see the best team on the field and keep racism out of sport. This fuelled the 1960 “No Maoris, No Tour” petition which was ignored in spite of 150,000 signatures. Some took it to HART and in 1969 formed a protest group. Halt All Racist Tours was founded by University of Auckland students with the mission of ending sporting contacts with South Africa. Race relations weren’t perfect in New Zealand but at least we were trying. 1970 saw New Zealand’s first multi-racial squad to tour the Republic of South Africa. Unfortunately Māori players had to leave their mana behind, travelling as ‘honorary whites’. These players were still subjected to white South African hatred despite their performance on the field.

Hamilton wasn’t always a sleepy hollow of apathy. In 1981 people actually cared about something. For a lot of Hamiltonians, rugby was what it was all about, but apartheid in a foreign country got. The South African regime put pressure on our politicians to stand against the white supremacists but Prime Minister Muldoon declared “no politics in sport”. Rugby was our national game; politics were anybody’s game.

went unpunished though they warranted penalty tries. The referee allegedly told All Blacks it was all very well for them to be upset but he had to live in the country. Apartheid was a part of life in South Africa. The issue wasn’t simply political; it was a blatant violation of basic human rights. Worldwide pressure on the regime and those who condoned it was building and New Zealand faced much criticism for its involvement. Despite signing the 1977 Gleneagles agreement, an international campaign to discourage sporting competition with South Africa, Muldoon refused to ban the tour. Instead he argued for anti-authoritarianism and the freedoms of athletes. In trying not to, the Prime Minister made the issue political and politics will always divide people.

25 JULY 1981 Muldoon asked for a ruckus and a ruckus he got. While rugby fans poured into the stands HART and a huge number of activists hit the streets of Hamilton. Protest planners bought 200 tickets to ensure that some made it into the grounds while 5000 more

THE SPORT OF POLITICS Tours were on and off depending on the Prime Minister of the day. Norman Kirk was forced to break an election promise to let the 1973 tour go ahead in the face of what he feared would be “the greatest eruption of violence this country has ever known”. This goes to show our comparative innocence with such horrors as apartheid, or at least an ignorance of the Māori wars. Robert Muldoon chose to cash in on the conflict, campaigning to let the Springboks tour even if it would lead to civil strife. He knew it was an issue that would change votes. No politics in sport but in politics, anything for popularity. The National Party appealed to rural and provincial conservatives, many of whom liked a good, honest game of rugby. Even on the pitch white South Africans were a dishonest bunch. For the 1976 All Black tour neutral referees were offered but foolishly declined by the NZRFU. Dirty and illegal tactics from the Springbok front line 26

got riled up in Garden Place, ready to march on Rugby Park. The police were also ready for anything; Operation Rugby was at hand. Protecting the Springboks was vital with two riot squads charged with the task. Equipped with helmets, riot shields and long batons affectionately known as ‘Minto Bars’ after HART leader John Minto, they were a force to be reckoned with. Police could be seen as more than a little heavy handed in their response to a peaceful, though inconvenient protest. The protestors stopped outside the wire netting perimeter fence in a moment of suspense. Suddenly the fence was down and people stormed up hill and onto the pitch. Around 350 entered Rugby Park through the goalposts and ran about thinking, “what do we do next?” Apparently no one had thought that far ahead. The sell out crowd were ready for rugby and it was almost time for kick off. Police concern moved from controlling the protesters

to protecting them from rabid rugby heads. Binoculars, bottles,

searching, waiting outside the police station for those arrested and

whatever people could grab were being hurled from the stands to

processed to be released.

chants of “We want rugby!”

For those who were passionate about race relations or rugby, the day is difficult to forget and the incitement was not restricted to those at

Word of a stolen, small plane targeting the grounds was the icing on

Rugby Park. The whole world was watching. It was the first time a

the cake for match officials, calling the game off because cleaning

major game against the Springboks was televised back in South Africa.

up the field would’ve been way too much of a mission. This left

The impact of their Rebel Tour was in their eyes and ears, pleading for

thousands of angry spectators ready for a fight and so some went

an end to apartheid.

David Garden My partner and I lived on Mill Street and we were just walking to the

Spectators immediately began to incite others to fight the protesters

dairy to get some milk when the whole horde of protesters came down.

but fortunately very few did. Most were there because of their love of

So we just joined in. We marched straight through the torn down fence

the sport and could not understand why anyone would want to stop a

and onto the park. Once you were amongst the crowd you couldn’t

game. The Red Squad started moving around the field while the other

choose where you were going, you were swept along with the wave. I

police attempted to keep the spectators in check. It quickly became

suddenly realised how the police were removing people. My friend

obvious that the game would not proceed as rumours spread that

Tim Gumber had his teeth bashed in with a Minto stick. I was a bit

razor blades and tacks were dropped onto the field.

worried because my partner was pregnant, so we moved to the middle of the back were we could just walk out with the mob. We just went on

I noted that many of the protesters wore crash helmets.

home, got the milk on our way but the coffee was cold by then. The police started to march the protesters of the ground and one There was a lot of fear and exhilaration but it felt good to actually

could feel the anger among the spectators reaching boiling point.

be making a statement. We were standing for something. Not much

The announcement was eventually made that the game would be

really affected New Zealanders in the 70’s and 80’s. It was just

abandoned. This set the more irrational spectators to wade into the

horrible things like disco and Grease. Life was pretty normal until the

protesters. Afterwards as I walked back to the car I noticed many

Springboks came along. I was against the tour. It started great debate

angry and uncontrolled clashes between protesters and spectators. I

in my parents’ house, as it did across the country. Muldoon made a

saw vehicles overturned, a woman in tears, people being chased and

strange decision to let it go ahead.

fights all over the place.

It was funny how it affected people so deeply. I played rugby with

I felt very, very angry. I did not and do not support apartheid but I

some members of the police force years later and when they found out

love my sport and see it more likely to build bridges than change the

I was on the pitch that day, their attitudes changed. The wounds are

political activities in another country.

still deep in the souls of rugby fans. A friend put it in words I’ll never forget: to him, I was lower than the Aussie arsehole who bowled the

NZ is small. The protesters wouldn’t have got away with what they

underarm. That’s how divisive the issue was.

did in other countries. Rugby isn’t the major sport in South Africa.

John Kennedy

There is a place for protesting but what the pitch invaders did was quite frankly untenable. I still get angry when I see the professional protesters like Minto on TV. The police coped as well as they could

As I walked to the ground there were protesters holding placards and

under the circumstances, although some of them may have favoured

signs. These were genuine protesters attempting to put their point of

the spectators when they waded into the protesters. Their task, once

view across, however there was a feeling of pending trouble brewing.

people began to leave the ground, was absolutely impossible.

Shortly before kick off the ground announcer called for the main

Too many people use sport for their own selfish ends because many

stand to be evacuated but gave no reason. Calls to evacuate the stand

of us enjoy our sport. At the time I lived next door to an MP who was

continued every few minutes but weren’t heeded. It transpired that

very anti tour. I like to think we respected each others’ views but many

a plane was threatening to crash into the stand. The start of the

of the protesters (and probably spectators) were intolerant.

game was delayed and then one hell of a commotion erupted from the Whitiora end of the ground and spectators were pushed aside as protesters breached the security, smashed the fence and stormed onto the field.

STUDENT PROTEST:

1968 With Jimmy

28

OWEN’S VIEW

ENVIRO CLUB!

WITH OWEN HINTON

WITH THE GREENS

Is it the ski season yet? I can’t say I keep up on when exactly the whole thing begins. I did go to the Mardi Gras event in Ohakune, but my general gauge of whether or not it’s the ski season is when I see

UniCycle no more... A warm welcome back to the start of an exciting semester. We’re beginning with an announcement of a name change (mainly due to

pictures of people wearing sweet goggles on my Facebook. The goggles are my favourite part of the outfit and I’d be lying if I said that simply wearing the outfit wasn’t part of the appeal.

the confusion of our previous name - UniCycle, which many believed to be directly related to riding unicycles). So we welcome you to the Environmental Awareness Club here at Waikato University! If this sounds like something you’d like to be a part of and would like to brush up on your environmental knowledge as well as be a part of our events throughout the year to be in to win amazing prizes, you can join up at our Enviro Club stall on Wednesday at Clubs Day on the Village Green. While you’re there you can take in some interesting facts and test your knowledge to win even more amazing prizes including thermos mugs that you can use to get discounts at the campus cafes. We’ll also be asking for feedback on what sort of environmentallythemed events you’d like us to run during B Semester such as another Campus Scavenger Hunt, a Trolley Race with obstacles, a swap event, or anything else that tickles your fancy.

It’s not because I want to look cool, well, it kind of is, by which I mean I like wearing the outfit for myself, not showing off to others, but in the same sense, I hope that they pick on up on how I’m just doing it because I enjoy it, and thus think that I am cool. But in a totally not trying to be cool way ‘cause that’s for jerks! The last time I went snowboarding I was 14, and because we weren’t that well off, and my dad didn’t give a shit, I wore this big green with a purple inner jacket (devastating) and my dad had this old slightly mouldy bright pink backpack as a day bag. My dad’s day bags were the best, often producing all sorts of food and useful items beyond my young imagination on what constituted sound planning for a day. My snowboarding skills weren’t too bad. I never crashed into anyone and I could go down the hill OK. I couldn’t do that awesome looking swish stop so I generally just fell over at the end. Wearing ugly clothes when you are 14 is bad, but I would gladly have carried the pink backpack too if it meant I didn’t have to use that bungee cord thing which pulls you up the hill. After three attempts I made a decent way up, and sat off to the side for a bit. I had taken my snowboard off and unattached the leash; not really thinking clearly (I blame the jacket). Before I could react, my board slid down the hill and hit this guy and he went flying. I felt bad but it was pretty hilarious. I didn’t really have the courage to just nonchalantly get back into line for the bungee lift, and just walked up the hill to the big café place and sat around for a while thinking how everyone’s clothes were cooler than mine.

How to save pennies on campus: Bringing your own cup when purchasing a coffee from Momento at the Village Green is an excellent way to show your support for the environment. No matter the size you’ll only pay for a regular so take advantage while saving the planet from an over population of paper cups. Sources tell us that you will also be able to get a free size upgrade for your coffee if you bring your own mug to the cafe located in that big round place on the Village Green (officially known as the Oranga in case you were wondering). Paper, cardboard, plastics, glass and aluminium cans all be recycled on campus. You will find the facilities located at convenient locations around campus; Bryant Hall, the Village Green and Management School among others. Be sure to put your empty bottles in the right recycling bin! When a ton of plastic bottles are recycled approximately 3.8 barrels of petroleum is saved which to me sounds like it could help with keeping petrol prices down! That sounds like pretty good motivation to me as us students need to count every single penny right? Looking forward to seeing you on Wednesday for clubs day! Join us on Facebook, just search for “Waikato Enviro Club”

29

THE CHAIR LEG OF TRUTH

BOGANOLOGY 101

WITH CHAIR LEG

WITH BURTON C. BOGAN

Traditionally, it’s considered trite to begin a conversation by talking about the weather. It’s one of those nasty clichés.

Bogans are among you. In a Biology class, a Chemistry class, or even look to the front of your tutorial and he’s teaching you second year psychology right now. As it began with Johnny Cash, we are

Ordinarily, I will exhaust all other possibilities before making a comment on the weather, because a winning smile like mine should have more behind it than empty words regarding atmospheric conditions, pressure differentials, and thermal diffusion.

the men (and women) in black. They are wearing the black jeans, the Metal shirts, and the mullet (a versatile haircut available in both men’s and women’s). I know what you’re thinking, but I can’t see a Metal shirt. That’s because it may be underneath the collared shirt – the undercover Bogan is aware of others’ false notions of “professionalism” and is a highly adaptable creature. No mullet? Many Bogans wear their mullets on the inside. It’s uncomfortable and we cough up hairballs, but it’s worth it.

However, in light of recent patterns, fuck that. The weather is actually shit. The water falls in sheets, as howling winds tear through what little scraps of cloth we huddle beneath. Numb fingers fumble desperately at cigarette lighters, as we sit outside in abominable temperatures, unable to smoke indoors, because science tells us that Smoking Will Kill Us. Trees struggle in vain against the force of a storm, until the cracking and ripping of their branches simply mingles with the cacophony of the world outside your walls; creating a symphony of nature’s terror. Buildings hum and whistle, as feet splash through shallow puddles on the footpath. We wrap up warm and cling to bottles filled with booze, hungry for nothing but warmth, hoping to stave off the bitter chill that cuts through the world at large. Night falls, the sun dies, and underneath

I’ve referred to this in past columns and I’ll say it again here cos it fits in nicely – we are Roach Class. A term I’ve referenced (stolen?) from Dimebag, the term Roach Class knows no financial parameters or boundaries. Unlike the term working class, you don’t need to be in a particular income bracket or occupation. Unlike the term white trash, you don’t need to be a particular ethnicity. Roach class crosses all castes and all creeds. Roach class is difficult to define, and so instead I provide examples. Roach class is cooking spaghetti bolognaise and using two minute noodles cos you prefer the taste. Bogans are Roach class, taking the three B’s of New Zealand culture – BBQs, Beers, and Buddies – to a whole new level as we make these elements the sole focus of our lives.

the black skies, it all goes cold. So grab your electric blankets, children, because while the weather is shit, life is not. B Semester has just started, Disorientation Week was good value, and I just won a free Snickers Bar! What more does a man need? Exams are still a couple of months away. It’s your life, and you can do with it what you do best. Whether that’s drinking, learning, impregnating under-age girls, smoking weed, snorting coke, kicking a ball, screaming at strangers, cooking, cooking meth, smoking meth, burning Christmas presents, writing screenplays, breaking hearts, bacon strips, bacon strips, bacon strips, finding novel locations to store inappropriate materials, playing music too loudly, watching television, torturing small animals, or wasting time on Facebook, the world is your oyster, and it is time to do something awful to that oyster. As for me, what I do best is observe and report, for I am the Chair Leg of Truth, and I am wise and terrible.

30

So what are we doing at University? Bogans believe in an education, purely because of the surprised look on someone’s face when they sprout their vocabulary at you as they try and impress you with their vague knowledge of Marx, only for you to understand every word and then tell them that you’ve visited the pub where he used to get on the piss. Bogans like exceeding expectations. That guy with the Double Brown, up to his elbows in nostril as he picks it may be the next Aristotle, Freud, or Einstein. It’s just that they don’t choose to swan around smoking a pipe and only using words with three or more syllables. Down to earth is what I’m trying to say. So know us before you judge us. Carpe Double Brown and Stay Bogan \m/

THE ATHEIST EXPERIENCE

WORDS OF WISDOM

WITH SAM THE ATHEIST

WITH MR MINTY FISH

A question that is often posed to non-believers like me goes like this “Sam, where does your morality come from? Without a divine being, does not life itself lack meaning? Without divine morality, what stops

There are hard times in life and then there are hard times in life. Imagine the latter was said in one of ‘those’ voices. Imagine Samuel L.Jackson said the last bit. There we go. Epic.

you from being an immoral fiend, a murderer or a rapist?” While this is really two questions I will answer both. First, the meaning of life is defined by the individual living that life. If your life is to be a pastor and teach the word of god to your congregation, then the meaning you have assigned to your life is the meaning you find in teaching the word of god. If my life lacks the belief in god, well, that does not make my life inherently less meaningless, it just means that I can assign a different meaning to it. Perhaps I ought to find a partner and find meaning in love? Perhaps I should immerse myself in my studies and find meaning in work? How about a mix of both? Just as a believer can choose what he or she finds meaning in, I can also choose the path of my life. It just so happens that I don’t believe in god. The second question (and the first) is so frequently asked that I could probably do two columns on it, but here I am. I have multiple counterpoints to this, so I’ll attempt to distill it into a few main points. First, morality is not defined by any gods – look at the Greek gods, who were basically omnipotent versions of jealous, angry, horny humans, and were mostly unconcerned with the morality of humans. But it would take a long line of argument to convince most historians that ancient Greece was an immoral society. Far from it, the likes of Epicurus, Socrates and other influential philosophers lend credence to say that Greece was indeed moral. But they still had gods? Surely this puts emphasis on the fact that they still had gods in their lives (albeit, for some modern religious people, the wrong ones). Humans evolved to use empathy in our everyday interactions – we project our emotions as a tool to encourage group work. This makes sense, as a single human could not take down a lion, but a group could easily. If I was killing and raping everyone I met for my individual advantage, ignoring empathetic impulse, eventually a group of individuals who felt for my victims would feel the empathetic response of revenge. And rightly so.

In no particular order we have the 3 vomit stains on the singlet ‘dress’ of life. Flat inspections. Ads. Rain before town. Granted we have had one flat inspection all year and it will most likely be our last but bitches be crazy. I have this flatmate that’s tall. Because she’s tall and that starts with ‘T’ we shall call her Toni. Conveniently that’s actually her real name. Oooo spooky.... Anyway she quite enjoys a clean bathroom but more specifically a clean toilet... and coke floats. Bitch goes ape shit for coke floats. So we have this flat inspection. Small guy mutting around the house taking pictures of the holes, bumps, bruises, the ripped bit in the ceiling where the stripper poles were; you know; that old chestnut, and when he finishes one of his only written complaints is that the toilet is dirty. Really? Really though? Our driveway is scarred from the couch we burnt, we like our neighbours so much we cut down the fence and there’s a smashed TV sitting under the table and their qualm was with the toilet. I’m not sure whether to be relieved or deeply concerned for this guy’s priorities. Wisdom? For your next flat inspection don’t worry too much about the hole in the wall or that homeless guy in the dishwasher licking spoons; just clean your toilet. Clean it good. In terms of advertisements, Subway takes the cake for shittest ad of my life ever in the world. My only wisdom is to turn off the TV every time it comes on and teach them a lesson by asking for a Pegasus every single fucking time you stumble past on Thursday night. Seriously. How shit can your marketing manager be. It is embarrassing Subway. It’s like you went to class with your jeans inside out. I’m running out of time so let’s make this quick. If it’s raining and you already said you would go to town, don’t be a dick. Go to town. Clubs are inside. Seriously, who raised you? Ultimately I hope you had the most eppy Re-O week. If you haven’t already, go get the morning after pill because...well... his DNA just is not what the world needs more of right now. 31

FASHIONISTA!

DIARY OF A RAVER

WITH LADY HAYNS

WITH GIG GIRL

Investment pieces This week I want to talk about investment pieces. Those staple items that you can purchase once or twice a year and base the rest of your wardrobe on. This season – meaning the current winter and spring when and if it ever arrives – my absolute fave items are The Oversized Sweatshirt, Military Lace-up Boots, Plain-but-Girly-Dresses, and a Tailored Black Blazer. Where to buy from? With investment pieces I always think it’s a good idea to spend a bit more and get something really well made in a classic neutral colour that will go with everything. If you’re on a budget try Glassons; they’ve really redone their look and are looking really high end. Otherwise there are always those online sites I shared with you.

As you all know a regular weekend for me involves me heading out most Thursdays and Saturdays here in Hamilton. With the semester break however this was not the case and I spent much of my time in what we call the Big Smoke: Auckland. Auckland is a place that many Hamiltonians flock too when they get over the Hamilton night life and are searching for a bit of a change. I will admit it was daunting for me. I felt that being from Hamilton I would be judged, people would know I wasn’t a Jaffa and that I would look out of place as much as I felt out of place. What I experienced however were two weekends that completely blew my mind. My two weekends involved me attending three events: Deep Hard & Funky at Ellerslie Racecourse; The Highlife and A-List Winter Social at The Wharf; and The Aston Shuffle at Be Club.

Oversized sweatshirts are god’s gift. I’m not kidding! Remember the time I told you no leggings as pants? Well that still stands but this is one of the only times leggings will work in an outfit and look amazing. It doesn’t have to be a sweat either; you can go for a knit and get the same wear out of it. Wear your sweatshirt with leggings, jeans, shorts, skirts, and dresses – underneath of course – the list could go on but I think you get my drift.

Deep Hard & Funky was a multi-level, multi genre beast, with international artists such as Emalkay, Tittsworth and Ruby Rose headlining the event. The gig ran until 6 in the morning and I was not surprised by the amount of people from Hamilton in attendance. With a lot of club bangers and popular dance music, it was a night that was enjoyed by many a different people.

Military Lace-up Boots; the comfort level is so high you will never

The Highlife and A-List Winter Social was an out of world experience

want to wear anything else. Plus they go with everything this season. Much cooler than that black nearly-to-the-knee boots your mum always wears.

in itself, I felt like I was in some kind of show on MTV; it was definitely an event where you went to be seen. The who’s who of Auckland was in attendance, with NZ Celebrities, Models, Fashion designers and entertainment by Karn Hall and the Sweetmix kids. Everyone looked impeccable, dressed in gowns and tuxes; it was a night of glitz, glamour, champagne and cocktails.

I am living in plain -but-girly dresses right now. The words that spring to mind when I look in the mirror whist wearing such dresses are elegant and classy. You want to be these things too. They’re too easy to accessorise, think belts, long necklaces, delicate earrings, stockings, blazers, and knits/sweats. You’ll get a ton of wear out of them too, just be sure to choose neutral colours and use your accessories to push colour into your outfit. Move over little black dress, tailored black blazers are your new best friend. I cannot stress this enough; you can wear these with anything. Dress up jeans and a tee? Check. Job interview? Check. Cold night out in town? Check. Your new plain-but-girly dress? Check. And you know where you can find some absolute bargains? Op shops. Go forth now, and buy. 32

The Aston Shuffle at Be Club, was perhaps the opposite in experience, underground and dark, bass pumping and raging sweaty bodies everywhere. Be, reminded me a lot of Flow Bar here in Hamilton and I could definitely see myself spending a lot of time at this place. Overall I must say that I would recommend you venture to Auckland and check out some of the remarkable events that they have up there. Don’t forget to stay the night, then spend your Sunday afternoon in one of the very many amazing cafes, sipping a Caramel Latte discussing the epic night you had with your friends.

CAFES: LIKE A BOSS WITH MRS MATTHEWS Cafe Agora, 13b Kent St, Frankton, Hamilton. We went to Agora because a couple of people had recommended it and because my friend had said it was one of her favourite cafe in Hamilton. I’ve heard some cool things about the place; they support different charities every month and they run church services out of the back of the cafe because that’s what they think church should be like, hanging out with a coffee etc. I think that’s kinda cool, if I were the church going type this is probably where I would hang out. Given the friendly things I have heard I was surprised to enter this cafe and find that very few staff smiled at us or greeted us. Regardless we perused the menu and cabinet food options and I selected a chicken tramizzino and my friend ordered some curly fries. The tramizzino was quite well priced at $9.80 considering it came with a generous salad and chutney on the side, although with cranberry jelly and turmeric chutney on the sandwich, and tangy tomato chutney on the side it was an odd combination of chutneys that I’m not entirely sure worked together. Unfortunately the curly fries came out within minutes, long before my tram, and were cold –I’m guessing they were left over or a mix up from a previous order because it had not been nearly long enough for them to have been freshly cooked. When my coffee came out they earned themselves a coffee cup just for showmanship. My mocha came in three separate parts; milk and chocolate syrup in the glass, coffee in a jug on the side and a Whittaker’s santé bar for dipping or stirring in. I thought the syrup seemed a little sweet and wasn’t sure if it needed it, but once it was all mixed together it was yum so I was pretty happy with the end result. One big upside to anyone that has kids is that Agora have a kids room, it has a TV, couch and toys, and a kid safe gate. My darling friend does have a little one, so it was cool to be able to plonk him in there while we placed our orders and sorted out a table. I wasn’t overly impressed but I will give them another go.

THE SODA INC.

COMMERCE COLUMN WITH NAT GOOD More jobs for Grads? Business opportunities for graduates in the Waikato are increasing and may be more available than you think. As a student I am aware of the glaring fact that a recession means fewer jobs for us when we leave university. This is particularly the case for students in the creative industries such as marketing, design, communications, media arts, film…the list goes on. However, it was found by a 2009 study that over $300million a year is spent on marketing alone by Waikato companies. SODA Inc. is a new business incubator that takes companies with potential for exponential growth through a highly creative incubation model, typically 36 months, which is designed to accelerate business growth. The aim is to nurture these companies and provide them with all the right tools and resources so they can become large successful organizations, in turn creating more jobs and wealth for the region. SODA’s other primary focus is cluster development. Many governments and industry organizations across the globe have turned to this concept in recent years as a means to stimulate urban and regional economic growth. Some clusters in this country have gained the wrong perception as they are great at talking about the industry problems but are not so good at actioning to solve these problems. Contrary to this common perception a new cluster called The Digital Industry Forum was developed by SODA Inc. in 2009 and has been actively engaging companies in the industry to find out what their problems are and how these can be addressed to grow the industry as a whole. Through the Digital Industry Forums collective approach they believe they can achieve substantially more than any single company can. The cluster group proactively works together with a shared vision. They want to attract major global players who recognise and are inspired by companies’ stories of innovation and success in the Waikato. If you enjoyed reading this there is a lot more where it came from. SODA’s commerce columns will showcase regional projects and how they benefit the community, especially the tertiary/graduate community. For more info check out sodainc.com and digitalindustryforum.com.

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NEXUS. FOOD. LOVE.

WITH DEE

It seems to me that nearly every time I go out to a cafe or the likes, I always manage to spot the word “Wedges” before I see any other menu item. Not that it’s a bad thing. It’s just pretty standard eating-out food. Wedges are sometimes the safest item on the menu, mostly because as far as culinary imagination goes, there is zilch around wedges. It used to bug me that every single cafe did wedges pretty much the same. You get your potato wedges, with cheese and sour cream. Then for an extra cost you can add things like bacon, salsa and guacamole. Yeah, and that’s about where it ends. Feel free to email and tell me otherwise: food@nexusmag.co.nz I had arranged to hang out with a friend of mine, and when she sent me a text suggesting we either cooked potato soup or make wedges, I automatically fired up the oven and got to work chopping. Wedges are pretty much what I would call a perfect rainy day lunch. Sure, you

WEDGES Ingredients: 3 big potatoes 2 tablespoons of oregano 1 tablespoon of Italian herbs 1 tablespoon of cayenne pepper Salt and Pepper Olive oil 1 cup of tasty cheese (grated) 150 grams of bacon (chopped) 1. Chop the potatoes into decent sized wedges (otherwise they will fall apart in the oven). Wash them, pat them dry, and spread them in an oven dish. Try to have them in one layer. 2. Sprinkle the herbs, peppers and salt, and drizzle over some olive oil... don’t drench them, you only want enough to have a little on each wedge. 3. Put them in an oven that has been pre-heated to 180°C, and let them cook for about half an hour or so before you turn them. If when you try and turn them they are sticking to the tray then put them back in for five minutes and then try again. 4. After about another ten to fifteen minutes, and turn them again. Sprinkle on the bacon and cheese and put them back in the oven under the grill for five minutes, or until the bacon is cooked. 5. Serve them hot with sour cream. Enjoy!

have to have about an hour spare, but they are still fairly easy, and very tasty. I’m pretty sure I will end up making wedges two or three times this week. Because of how I feel about wedges when I eat out, I try to be a little bit more creative when I cook them at home. I like to add a lot of herbs and spices, and try different things with them. There was a few trials over summer where I would coat my wedges in flour before cooking them, but I had fairly mixed success with that. And with having a few friends who have issues with gluten, I tend to not coat them. And even though I said cafe wedges are all the same, I’m not really complaining. Anything that has bacon and cheese is going to be amazing (my apologies to those who are vegan, but bacon and cheese are still going on my wedges).

THE REALM OF INFINITE CHAOS AND COMICS WITH THE HAMMER SCARLET

PRESENTED BY MARK 1 COMICS AND GAMES 551 VICTORIA ST.

ICON CREATED BY BRIAN MICHAEL BENDIS & ALEX MALEEV I have never owned a hard cover comic. There’s something about it, the way it weighs, the way the pages follow each other smoothly under your hands. No need for a plastic cover. It is a gorgeous way to have a graphic novel and I imagine that my children will probably inherit it. They don’t even cost that much more than a soft cover, if any more at all. Anyways: enough talking about the shape that Scarlet comes in and on to the beautiful contents Scarlet may have a cover which resembles a Deadpool or Judge Dredd comic, but the contents are less action, more political. In terms of other comics to use as a measure, I felt that the style and direction this went in was somewhere between DMZ and critically acclaimed TV series The Wire. A young woman, who is completely enamoured with The Perfect Man, sees him gunned down in the first few pages by corrupt cops, taking a bullet to the face while it happens. What follows could have easily gone down the track followed by The Punisher. Who wouldn’t want to read a tale of someone, around our age, discovering that the Thin Blue Line is as corrupt as it gets and begins a Robin Hood style resistance? But the weapons in this story are as likely to be the Vlog and the Dictaphone as they are the sniper rifle and the grenade. Scarlet stalks her victims, sometimes for weeks, before grilling them for as much information as they have regarding the extent of corruption.

the ever increasing chaos in the streets of Portland. A debonair young FBI agent swoops in to rescue her, appointing her as his sidekick and off they go to find both Scarlet and the rotten core of the city.

With money taken from corrupt police men ($704,000 from the first) she distributes small bags of supplies to the homeless of Portland, Oregon, further entrenching this story in its Robin Hood root.

This book, the first in a series, is more than a story. It’s a political manifesto, a visual siren to readers of graphic novels, old, young, newcomers or old hands. With revolutions across North Africa now spreading into the eastern Mediterranean and beyond, perhaps this book will inspire someone, somewhere in the West, to challenge the status quo.

Meanwhile, a police detective starts to get the feeling that she is being set up to take the fall for the police department’s inability to control

Let’s just pray it doesn’t become as violent and confused as Bendis and Maleev’s Scarlet.

NEXUS FIGURE PAINTING COMPETITION WE’RE HAVING A MODEL PAINTING COMPETITION! THE RULES ARE AS FOLLOWS: 1) Any SINGLE miniature (no larger than 4inches) 2) Drop off to Mark 1 Comics & Games 3) Entries open the 1st August and close on the 9th Septmeber. 4) Winners announced in Nexus on the 19th September 5) Prizes include heaps of phat loot from MarkOne Comics and Games and Nexus

GET INTO IT AND HAVE FUN! SPONSORED BY MARK 1 COMICS & GAMES 551 VICTORIA ST.

PWNED

WITH SAM PRESCOTT

WARCRAFT III: REIGN OF CHAOS The third entry from Blizzard into the world of Azeroth (pun avoided), and a new direction for the series, Warcraft III is an RTS with typical Blizzard polish and shine. Taking a page from RPGs of the past, Warcraft III takes the formula learned from past gems such as Starcraft and Warcraft II, and adds its own twist, bringing powerful hero units, two unique races and several other very interesting game mechanics. The resulting game is one of timing, pace and precision, worthy and balanced enough to have a dedicated pro scene (in the expansion pack, The Frozen Throne) followed in Korea and the US. The balance is a result of pure Blizzard polish alongside a minimalist design philosophy that brings out the individual strengths of each unit belonging to each race, something that shines in Blizzard’s RTS titles. The four races: the resourceful Humans, the savage Orcs, the terrible Undead and the noble Night Elves. Each of these play as uniquely as one would expect, with different heroes, units, upgrades, and even base building. For example, the Night Elves must use up their worker units to build buildings and can uproot and move their main buildings. Undead must build upon terrain that has been altered by the Blight, upon which no buildings from other races may be built. Their units also gain an advantage while upon it. Each race, on top of its unique unit make and base building, have unique heroes, which must level up starting from level one like any typical RPG. Upon gaining a level, the player chooses progressively more powerful abilities. The addition of beneficial items to this deliciously complex, yet deceptively simple mix leads to an extremely varied metagame in where a given multiplayer match is often won or lost completely on the heroes and items chosen.

optimum play for each race whilst simultaneously being encouraged to figure out new strategies and tactics specific to each race.

The narrative is a continuation of the Warcraft mythos, and part of the lead-in lore wise into the (extremely) popular MMORPG, World of Warcraft. Each race has its own campaign unique to itself, and whilst the missions are constructed and paced fairly similarly per race, the

All in all, the fabled “Warcraft before WoW” consists of three very solid titles both in single and multiplayer and are a great buy for any gaming enthusiast looking for a title rich in narrative and thought provoking in gameplay. The single player campaign provides approximately 8 hours of play per race (all of which you will want to play multiple times) and the multiplayer has taken days of time out of

gameplay changes accordingly depending of course on what race and mission you are playing. You as the player are gently guided toward

my life. A great game in its own right and made even more so by the expansion, The Frozen Throne.

KEVIN PRYOR GOES DOWN ON BOOKS THE SHINING - STEPHEN KING I’m going through a bit of a Stephen King phase at the moment. Yeah I know, you’ve all read his books or seen the movie adaptations, so like, so what. But I watched the movie ‘The Shining’ the other day and it prompted me to go to the source. Why did Jack Torrence mentally disintegrate so spectacularly in the Overlook Hotel? I loved the look Stanley Kubrick gave the material, but I wanted to know more. In the film (as is the nature of the medium) things happened quickly. Jack Nicholson was a great raving nutcase to be sure, but I wanted to study the slow burn process which turned a father into a familicidal maniac.

writing back on track. The pacing of the book is superb. We see little glimpses of mania early in the piece, which step by step, starts taking over Torrence’s mind.

King’s book weighs in at a hefty 528 pages and gave me the extra character development I was after. The Torrence character’s slide into madness is gradual. We learn of his abusive relationship with his father, alcoholism and failed career as a teacher. He has a promising start as a writer, but after his first publication, he cannot get subsequent works in print. This is the reason he takes the job as the Overlook’s winter caretaker, to get his

revealed as a haunted house. This has the effect of degrading an intense psychological study into a mere spook story. Kubrick in his film, rightly corrects the ‘ghosts’ to products of Torrence’s delusions.

I would go as far to declare ‘The Shining’ a great work of literature except for a disappointing narrative cop-out. The ghosts that are in Torrence’s head - an entirely plausible concept - are made real by King. Other people start seeing ghosts. Hedges start moving around, and the Overlook is

Little Danny Torrence has ‘the Shining’: a form of ESP. To have haunted hedges as well? It’s a little too much.

JUDY READS...

THE SOOKIE STACKHOUSE NOVELS - CHARLAINE HARRIS Yes, I am reviewing the whole series to date. Because I read them all in less than 2 weeks and they have just made one continuous story in my head and I couldn’t tell you what thing came from which book if you paid me. I am also ashamed of reading these books as they’re pretty terrible. The writing is bad, and I’d normally avoid these kinds

is nearly killed a bunch of times, she has relationships with lots of not humans. Too many boys like her and her life is SO hard.

of stories like the plague. I’m not into the vampires and werewolves thing. I managed to avoid Twilight when everyone seemed to be going nuts for it. But I couldn’t avoid this. Sookie and her stories totally snuck up on me. It’s the series of books that the Trueblood TV series is based on, which I once tried to watch but it didn’t grip me. But damn, these books did.

next in the story. Hell, I still want to know what happens next! Will she end up with a vampire? Which vampire? Oooh or a werewolf? Which werewolf? How will she nearly die next?!? Which mythical beings will come out of the closet next? It’s all faced paced and exciting, she barely seems to get a day off between horribly dramatic events. Or if there aren’t dramatic events there are sex scenes to get you through to the next dramatic event.

So the basic premise is that Sookie works in a bar, she can read peoples thoughts, she’s pretty hot and in her early twenties. Vampires have just come “out of the closet” and are joining society, some people are not happy about this, and some people are real happy because then they can steal the blood of vampires which is like a crazy drug. Then other mythical creatures start coming out of the closet too, like werewolves and fairies. Sookie

Even though it sounds like (and is) a total cheese-fest it’s also incredibly addictive. I needed to know what was happening

I don’t want to recommend this series, but because I devoured it I kind of have to. The story is well developed and exciting, just cheesy and terrible at the same time. I think I secretly loved it.

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NITRO

PRESENTS

THE BUSTED PAGE FLOW

AGENDA

ALL PHOTOS BY SHANNON ROLFE - SHANNONROLFE.COM

There’s even more To see each week on...

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