issue 11

11 21 MAY 2007

Puppetry of the Penis Competition These are the winning entries for the Puppetry of the Penis competition. We ended up receiving a few more tickets to the Puppetry of the Penis show than expected so we’re chosen to give two tickets and the DVD to the winner and two tickets to the runner up.

And the winner is...

Eric Light

For this beautiful entry!

And the runner up winner of two tickets to Puppetry of the Penis is...

Olivia Miles How sweet, innocence...

Olivia and Eric, you need to come and pick you tickets up from the Nexus office ASAP – the show is this Wednesday 23rd May, 7pm at the Clarence Street theatre!

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

This week’s “C-grade celebrity endorsed appliances” rolled on and it was OK. If you want to see Photochops, past and previous, visit: http://www.nexusmag.co.nz/forum/viewtopic.php?p=5797

Theme: C-grade Celebrity

Endorsed Appliances

Next week’s theme will be “Kid friendly characters in 20 years time”. We want to see what all the old favourite kid characters and mascots are up to in 20 years time. Campus Pharmacy has offered a $20 gift voucher to the one deemed by Nexus judges to be the best of the bunch. Work your photo manipulation magic and win some free credit! Send ‘em in before 5PM Thurs, 10 May.

U-Haul Pheremone Stimulator by Josh Ron Jeremy Sausage Stuffer by dj_llirik Paris Hilton Camcorder by Beholder Seinfeld Dictaphone by Vitamin C Jesus Capture Net by Nick_Elliott

This Week’s Winner:

Vitamin A Come claim your voucher at the Nexus office and show us your sexy back. Rowr.

Kerry Dean. M.P.S.

PHONE: 838 4740 K.J. Dean Ltd. University of Waikato, Hamilton

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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The Magic 8 Ball Magic 8 Ball gives us the low-down on David Bain and finally answers the questions on everyone’s lips…

Did he do it?

Cannot predict now. You bet your arse he did / didn’t do it. It’s obvious to everyone that he did / didn’t do it. Why would you even ask that question? Are you stupid / not stupid or something?

Has Joe Karam gotten filthy rich by pretending to care about David Bain?

Better not tell you now. Otherwise you might come to realise that Joe Karam has gotten filthy rich by pretending to care about David Bain. Y’see, they didn’t pay All Blacks back in Karam’s day. They expected them to make their millions out of dairy farming. Well, Karam wasn’t having any of that. He needed to find himself a Bain.

A David Bain. So he did. Never mind that it cost him millions in legal fees to get Bain out of prison. He’s obviously on to a money-spinner.

Is David Bain likely to see any of the money Joe Karam has made from book sales?

It is certain. I’m pretty sure that Karam paid for him to stay in that flash resort the night he got out of prison. And then he took him on that fishing trip. He probably paid for the fish and stuff as well. So Bain is doing alright out of it

Will David Bain ever be accepted by society again?

It is decidedly so. He’s been accepted already! He came out of prison looking like a man who has spent most of his life working for the Business Roundtable, as opposed to a guy who’s supposedly just served 13 years for murder. Those shiny teeth, those chic glasses, those elegant ears… He doesn’t need to work to be accepted by society. Society needs to work to be accepted by him!

Hey, Eight Ball! How about that David Bain and his wicked stylish sweater? Do you love it?

My sources say no. That sweater is the reason he went to jail. The moment we saw him without the sweater, we decided he was innocent.

Is David Bain single or am I plum out of luck?

My sources say no. Why do you think he’s staying at Joe Karam’s house? You didn’t fall for that ‘just friends’ line, did you?

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Nexus Issue 11 21 May 2007

Features

Credits

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Step up, step up for 8 foot Sativa

Our resident boganologist interviews Gary Smith

20

The Nature of the Beats

Feeding the NZ music monster

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How NZ music sales figures stack up

It’s quite a literal title

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Live music not so healthy

The problem with venues in Hamilton

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Support NZ music... please give generously

Are NZ Musicians really charity cases?

8-13

Student choice to have compulsory WSU struck off Loads of ASPA news from other student magazines Execution

Boulanger Photochop Magic 8 Ball Editorial Lettuce WSU columns Notices Puzzles Weird Facts

VISIT US ONLINE @ nexusmag.co.nz AND myspace.com/nexusmagazine

THE VIEWS EXPESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, WSU OR APN. WANT TO ADVERTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL nexus@waikato.ac.nz OR PHONE 07 838 4653 OR VISIT www.nexusmag.co.nz/advertising-info

Regulars 03 04 05 07 14 22 25 28 29

CONTRIBUTORS: ALANA FERGUSSON, BURTON C BOGAN, BLAIR, BRIE JESSEN, CHUCK & BENJO, CYRILL, CAPTAIN AHAB, VITAMIN C, JOSEPH ROSS, ADAM SMITH, MOSKONOVICH, JED LAUNDRY, ISA, ROZ, MATT, JOSH, ART FOCKER, PETRA JANE, JOE CITIZEN, DR RICHARD SWAINSON, BOULANGER, WSU. NO THANKS TO MIKE MILLER.

NEXUS IS A MEMBER OF THE AOTEAROA STUDENT PRESS ASSOCIATION (ASPA). I AM HUNGRY FOR TOAST. SOMEONE ATE ALL MY MARGARINE. I REQUIRE MARGARINE WITH MARMITE!

News

EDITOR: ROZ CASE (nexus@waikato.ac.nz) DESIGN: MATT SCHEURICH (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) ADVERTISING: TONY ARKELL (Phone 021 176 6180) NEWS ED: JOSH DRUMMOND (news@nexus-npl.co.nz) BOOKS ED: BRIE JESSEN MUSIC ED: CAPTAIN AHAB (htownahab@gmail.com)

29 30 30 31 31 32 32 33 33

Chuck & Benjo $3 Chef Vitalisa Boganology Los Libros static void Main ( ) Sports Thoughts Walkthrough Agony Art

34 35 35 36 37 38 38 39

NZMM Artist Spotlight Citric DVDs Books Film Arts Diary Gig Guide Busted

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT GROUND FLOOR, STUDENT UNION BUILDING, GATE ONE, UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO, KNIGHTON ROAD, HAMILTON. PHONE: FAX: EMAIL: POSTAL:

07 838 4653 07 838 4588 nexus@waikato.ac.nz PRIVATE BAG 3059, HAMILTON

Editorial

BY ROSALIND CASE

Sometimes it gets a little tiresome defending Hamilton against its many critics. Pretty much everyone who doesn’t live in Hamilton refers to it as if it was an empty shithole of doom that has unfortunately blighted the otherwise deeply cosmopolitan and sophisticated North Island. Tell people you’re from Whangarei, Napier or even Murupara and they’ll nod and smile politely. Tell them you’re from Hamilton and they’ll give a mocking laugh and then tell you about that hilarious episode of Havoc where Mikey and Newsboy drove straight through Hamilton and didn’t stop.

Yup, that was brilliant TV alright. Especially considering it was being made by a bunch of drug-addled Aucklanders who could barely stand to pause the house music while they crammed in 30 seconds of dialogue.

Sometimes I wonder if that’s our problem.

We’re too close to Auckland, so the rest of the country just wants to make sure that we’re clear that none of Auckland’s big-cityness has rubbed off on us. Just in case we thought that being the closest city to Auckland made us cool somehow. We can rest assured, it didn’t. The rest of New Zealand will make sure we never forget that we’re just a bung ol’ swampy cowtown in the middle of the Waikato, which wouldn’t exist if weren’t for dairy farming. Dairy farming is not sexy. It’s smelly and boring. And so it follows that Hamilton is also smelly and boring. The only thing that ever happens in Hamilton is when the farmers come to town to cash the dairy cheque and buy some stuff at, well, Farmers of course. And then after that they go and watch some tractor racing at the Fieldays, have dinner at Iguana and then head back to Ngatea or Motumaoho for the other 51 weeks of the year.

Hamilton music doesn’t do much better, to be honest. In spite of the fact that musicians around the country will name Hamilton bands as some of the most ground-breaking and influential artists they’ve ever come across, the majority of people don’t ever get the chance to be exposed to some of the amazing stuff that comes out of this town. NZ On Air will point to 48May and The Datsuns as the obvious examples of how Hamilton music is valued by the government. But it’s a bit of a smokescreen. I don’t want to run the risk of offending 48May’s many fans (god knows I’ve done it before) but it’s undeniable that they are WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

one of the most digestible pop bands to show up in NZ in the last century. Thus, they’ve never presented any sort of risk to the government (who want to see a whole lot of radio and television airplay in return for their investment, and they certainly get that with 48May). As for The Datsuns, well, they were pretty much completely ignored by NZ On Air before they were famous, although not long before they headed of to London to become famous they managed to get hold of $5000 to make the Super Gyration video. But, as has been the case with so many other bands, NZ On Air waited until The Datsuns had a record deal (ie. money) behind them before they started paying any real attention to them. At that point, the question has to be asked - why do NZ On Air wait until they’re no longer needed before they decide to come to the party? There’s no pressing need for a piddly funding grant once you’re hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt to a major label.

In the meantime, Hamilton musicians persist in trying to be Hamilton musicians. The majority (if they’re sensible) understand that they’re never going to make any money out of their ventures. In fact, if they break even they can consider themselves very fortunate. They can also depend on the fact that the draconian outlook of our local liquor licensing authority, Hamilton City Council’s complete lack of understanding of arts and culture (despite their best attempts to convince us otherwise) and the proliferation of inner-city apartments will ensure that finding a venue in which to play live, original music will usually be a bloody great struggle. In spite of this, bands will still find places to play - most recently, desperation and initiative have led punk and hardcore bands to hold daytime shows at the rotunda by the river. Most Hamilton bands realise that NZ On Air are going to laugh in the face of any funding application they might make and so don’t even bother to try.

The Hamilton music scene continues to exist (and, on occasion, thrive) in spite of the New Zealand government, not because of it. And yet, this government has managed to create an image of itself as one that understands, values and contributes to all areas of the arts.

This is supposed to be such an important portfolio that the only person qualified enough to be the Culture and Heritage Minister was the Prime Minister herself! The ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Labour Party has done very well to create the illusion that it’s hip and switched on to what all these groovy bohemian arty types are all about. Local body governments attempt to paint the same picture of themselves. But it doesn’t matter which way they spin it, the fact still remains - being a fulltime musician usually means a lifetime of poverty, STDs from the odd groupie and, if you live in this town, nowhere to play in the first place.

Nexus Cover Art WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ/COVERART

Artist: Amy

Ho

386 ANGLESEA ST, HAMILTON · OPEN 7 DAYS · PH: 07 834 3952

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NEWS

News Student Choice To Have Compulsory WSU Struck Off – NOT!

By Joshua Drummond Questions raised by “freedom of association” lobby group Student Choice over the financial accountability of the Waikato Students Union have been answered, says the WSU Executive.

The WSU Executive says it’s since fixed any issue with the Registrar, and says that their financial records are “transparent” and available for any student to investigate at any time.

“The [lack of submitted reports] was an oversight due to staffing changes with BDO Spicers, who are our auditors,” said the WSU President, Student Choice spokesperson Peter McCaffrey. Isn’t he Sehai Orgad. just the cutest lil’ thing you ever did see?

“Basically, up to 2 years ago there was a staff member at BDO who was automatically sending our furnished accounts to the Registrar, and we weren’t aware that they had left some time ago. Now that we know, cheers to Student Choice, we’ve rectified the situation and there is no way we will be struck off.”

The press release also raised questions about WSU’s financial accountability.

Student Choice, put out a press release last week headlined “Student Choice To Have Compulsory WSU Struck Off.” The release stated: “Student Choice have brought the Waikato Student’s Union (WSU) to the attention of the Registrar of Incorporated Societies and have asked the Registrar to de-register the WSU due to their failure to comply with the Incorporated Societies Act,” on the basis that WSU had failed to submit any financial accounts to the Registrar since 2003.

Student Choice spokesman, Peter McCaffrey, said “Each year WSU takes over $730,000 from University of Waikato students. The WSU’s failure to comply with the Act has left Waikato students wondering what the WSU have done with the almost $2 million taken from between 2004 and 2006. In addition, no information about WSU’s financial records and budgets are available to students on the WSU website.”

The WSU was quick to discount this allegation, with Orgad at pains to point out that the records were, in fact, on the record.

“With regards to his claims that we are not accountable to our members, that’s a load of codswallop, as members are more than welcome – and this is a normal practise for us – to request the Budget, the accounts, the minutes of WSU Exec meetings, and analyse them for themselves. We also report on the budget and the Auditor’s Report at our AGM,” she said.

An independent legal opinion sought by Nexus has revealed that Student Choice could not have the WSU struck off the Register, as only the Registrar actually has the power to do so. “[Student Choice’s] headline should more accurately read ‘Student Choice asks to have compulsory WSU struck off.’ So far as I can see, there’s no actual power for the Registrar to strike the WSU off in any event - that can only happen if the Registrar is satisfied that the incorporated society is no longer carrying on its operations.”

“The 2003 accounts were lodged in Nov 2004. On that basis, the 2004 accounts should have been filed in or around October/November 2005, and 2005 in Oct/Nov 2006. That means there are only two sets of accounts overdue,” the opinion said, adding that the accounts for the years the WSU was voluntary were never lodged on time, being filed in 2001, the year the union returned to universal membership.

“Peter McCaffery and Student Choice obviously don’t know or care about the students of Waikato University,” said Orgad. “If they did care about students overall, they wouldn’t be trying to destroy one of the few support structures that students have these days through their various associations.”

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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NEWS

Crazy Cullen’s kooky budget madness

By Nicola Kean

There’s a long way to go until students are properly supported.”

Student leaders are joining the chorus of unhappy constituents over last week’s budget, saying it fails to do enough to help students.

However, the allocation of student allowance funding looks set to create real benefits for many students whose parents currently earn over the means-testing threshold. Currently, only students under 25, and without dependent children, whose combined parental income is under $39,269.52 per year are eligible for a full Student Allowance. This will increase by 10% to $44,334.

New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA) Co-President Joey Randall says the budget was “disappointing” for students, citing a lack of “meaningful increases in student support from Labour”.

It’s unclear how many students will suddenly become eligible for a full allowance due to this change in threshold, but any rise is considered by student associations to be welcome and overdue. And Hutchinson’s argument neglects the fact that student allowances will now rise with inflation - an economic trend which the government has, somewhat ironically, spent most of this budget trying to avoid.

Given the cumbersome nickname of the “Money Go-Round” budget by National Party leader John Key, Finance Minister Michael Cullen’s eighth budget sets aside $285.1 million extra operating money for tertiary education over the next four years.

Of that almost $300 million: • $129 million will be given to universities to “build their capability and strengthen their international competitiveness”; • $16.2 million for student allowance funding; • $14 million for the Performance Based Research Fund (PBRF) - a system that allocates Government funding based on academic performance.

• $35 million to the Quality Reinvestment Programme, which aids institutes of technology and polytechnics to reach the educational standards outlined in the Statement of Tertiary Education Priorities (STEP); • $6 million for wananga to boost research capability.

Finance Minister Michael Cullen says the budget aims to provide “better value for money for taxpayers and students. This is vital if we are to maximise the potential of the tertiary sector to contribute to our economic and social well-being.”

However, National Tertiary Education spokesman Dr. Paul Hutchinson says while he believes students will be pleased at the small increase in money for allowances, overall “in our view the Government got its priorities wrong.” Instead of forking our for the interest free student loans programme, Hutchinson argues the money should go to increasing student allowances.

Randall agrees, saying that instead of increasing the numbers of students receiving the allowance as Labour promised, students actually receiving the allowance has dropped by 20 percent.

Massey Wellington Students’ Association President Sean Gillespie, who attended last week’s budget lock-up, says “while the budget certainly didn’t put a smile on my face, it didn’t take one off either.

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

NEWS

Vic’s Mental Exec: The SHOCKING and SORDID Details!!!!!

By Laura McQuillan

(Salient)

NEW INFORMATION has come to light about VUWSA’s recent ‘Opiegate’ scandal, where former Acting Women’s Rights Officer Clelia Opie MADE $4176.84 WORTH OF PHONE CALLS TO PSYCHIC HOTLINES before being discovered!!!!!

Salient can now reveal that ANOTHER $1600 WORTH OF CALLS HAVE BEEN DISCOVERED on VUWSA’s phone account, bringing the total of the calls to NEARLY $6000!!!

Phone records leaked to Salient reveal the extent of the psychic hotline calls during the month of March, where Opie made at least 80 calls to almost 20 different 0900 numbers between the 15th and 24th, from the phones in the Women’s Room, VUWSA Workroom and Education VicePresident Joel Cosgrove’s office!!!

On March 23 alone, OPIE MADE 42 PHONE CALLS FROM THE WOMEN’S ROOM LINE TO PSYCHIC AND TAROT HOTLINES!!! She called one number, ‘Personal Psychic Penline’ nine consecutively in the space of an hour and a half, with the calls totaling $420.75!!!

Salient contacted Infoline Australia, the Australian-based company behind the hotline.

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Company spokesperson Matthew Smith told Salient that Telecom and the University were to blame, rather than his company’s hotline, saying “it’d be very uneducated” for the University or VUWSA to not know about these calls!!!

“I think really it does unfortunately rest on the shoulders of the people who are doing the accounts and so forth. I mean you can’t stop people from doing things unless you have things in place to stop them!!!” “[Telecom] have a system in place that obviously if too many calls are made they’ll contact the person so you should start there to find out how they were able to clock up this amount of calls. At the end of the day the billing’s done by themselves. We obviously receive the calls but we don’t know about their notification, if someone was calling too much or whatever else!!!”

Telecom media representative Brett Jackson said he was unable to comment on Smith’s statement without more information, and was unable to give a comment on the University’s account due to customer privacy!!!

SALIENT WAS UNABLE TO CONTACT THE UNIVERSITY BEFORE TIME OF PRESS!!!

Although no formal agreement has been made between Opie and VUWSA

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

“EXEC MEETING COMING UP? CALL ME”

for the repayment of the money, Salient understands a verbal agreement was made between Opie and VUWSA President Geoff Hayward SHORTLY AFTER THE PHONE CALLS WERE DISCOVERED!!!

The VUWSA exec briefly succeeded in having a University ‘hold’ placed on Opie’s student account, meaning that she couldn’t add or change courses or graduate until the money was repaid to VUWSA. However, a few days later the hold was removed, with the Student Fees Coordinator explaining that, “We are not allowed to apply holds for issues relating to VUWSA. Apparently it must be for University issues only!!!”

Opie and Hayward are currently undergoing mediation over the issue, and BOTH HAVE DECLINED TO COMMENT to Salient on the matter!!!

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NEWS

Genetic damage suffered by vets prompts call for study of children

By Matt Russell

(Chaff)

The New Zealand Nuclear Test Veterans’ Association are lobbing the Government to fund studies into the health of veterans’ children.

This follows from a Massey study confirming that veterans have suffered genetic damage as a result of radiation from British nuclear weapon tests carried out on Christmas Island between 1956 and 1958.

During the tests, codenamed “Operation Grapple”, 551 New Zealand sailors on the frigates HMNZS Pukaki and HMNZS Rotoiti carried out weather reporting duties, rescues and duties specific to the detonations. They also

patrolled the test area for ships and submarines looking to spy on the tests. The trials resulted in Britain becoming a thermonuclear power.

The New Zealand Nuclear Test Veterans’ Association have long claimed being irradiated at the test sites. Dr Al Rowland of Massey’s Institute of Molecular BioSciences looked at the cells of 50 veterans for damage. Dr Rowland says the findings are unequivocal: in a matched control group of men of the same age, his team found an expected frequency of 10 chromosome translocations per 1000 cells, but in the veterans’ group, the average number of translocations was considerably higher at 29 chromosome translocations per 1000 cells.

Workers who were close to the Chernobyl nuclear accident or involved in the clean up

Subway takes ex-employee for a ride

By Georgina Fenwicke with reporting from Amy Joseph

The Autonomous Workers’ Union (AWU), Young Labour and the International Socialists Organisation (ISO) joined forces last week to protest against the unfair dismissal of a fast food worker.

Around 50 people rallied on the Union Lawn before marching to the George St outlet of Subway, where Jackie Lang was fired from her job last month for sharing a drink with a friend. Protests were to continue until May 21, when Jackie Lang was due in court on criminal charges relating to the

theft of two cups of diet coke valued at around $4. Fortunately, the police decided to drop the charges late last week.

The problem arose when Jackie Lang poured two cups of soda during her break without paying for them. She spent her break consoling an upset friend at an outside table, and left the cup with soda still in it when she went back to work. Despite the fact that the Subway handbook allows free soda and water while working, the George St management felt it necessary to fire her, saying that her actions were considered “serious misconduct” and a breach of their “trust and fidelity”. AWU organiser Bill Clark says that “management called her into a meeting without telling her it was disciplinary, gave her no chance

Otago to tackle big fat problem

By Sarah Berryman A permanent research post has been established at the University of Otago to assist in the fight against childhood obesity.

Dr Rachael Taylor has been appointed to the position of Karitane Senior Research Fellow in Childhood Obesity. The post will be based at the University’s Edgar National Centre for Diabetes Research (ENCDR) and is intended to strengthen the centre’s work.

The post is partly funded by a gift from the KPS Society Ltd – a charitable organisation WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

primarily concerned with the health and wellbeing of children. The Government will also provide funding as part of its’ Partnership for Excellence Scheme.

ENCDR director Professor Jim Mann said that childhood obesity is “one of the biggest health issues of our time”, with up to one third of children in New Zealand effected.

It can lead to health problems such as high cholesterol, high blood pressure and diabetes – problems that are becoming increasingly common amongst younger people.

Dr Taylor said that, aside from the fact that excessive weight is detrimental to a child’s future health, one of her biggest ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

after the accident had about 20 translocations.

The lawyer acting for the veterans is to travel to London, where a class action is being taken against the British Government on behalf of the British, Fijian and New Zealand Veterans.

Association chairman Roy Sefton says more than 400 of the 551 sailors who took part in Operation Grapple have died. He was 17 when he was sent to the operation, a series of detonations of untested and unproven thermonuclear designs totalling nine-megatons.

He says many of those exposed to the blasts have had shorter life spans and chronic bad health, and in many cases, so had their children.

“NZNTVA is now looking for financial support from Government, or elsewhere, to have a study done on a group of the veterans’ children to identify any genetic damage that may have resulted from their fathers’ exposure to service-related radiation.”

The NZNTVA was formed in 1995. to have representation and then blind-sided her with accusations of theft.” Almost two weeks after the she was fired, police held her in a cell for two hours before charging her with the theft of two cups of Coke.

Clark says that he has never seen such an extreme example of corporate bullying.

“They’ve turned Jackie’s life upside down for what seems like no reason at all.” He emphasises that Lang had no criminal record and a clean employment history.

AWU, the union representing Lang, blame the events on the new management and not on the Subway chain as a whole. While Young Labour called for a nationwide boycott of the restaurants, AWU recommend that the public boycott only the George St outlet and go to other Subway stores until “George St gets it shit together.” They are concerned that boycotts could unfairly affect workers at other outlets. concerns is the psychosocial issues that stem from teasing in the schoolyard, which can have major and lasting effects on a child.

Dr Taylor has an extensive background in the field of Human Nutrition, particularly in the area of body composition and obesity.

She spent twelve years as a lecturer at the University of Otago, and won the Kelloggs Nutrition Foundation Nutritionist Development Award in 2001. She recently led A Pilot Programme for Lifestyle and Exercise (APPLE), in which physical activity co-ordinators in seven Otago primary schools encouraged the community to get involved in various types of exercise from golf to line dancing, and taught children about basic nutrition.

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NEWS

This week’s meeting of the WSU Executive was sparsely populated with only seven members, prompting Nexus to worry that perhaps a deadly Bird Flu epidemic had taken the other Exec members.

Fortunately, a couple of members proved themselves merely late rather than dead, by drifting in some time in to the actual meeting. This wasn’t too big a problem, as the meeting was actually rather short anyway. Delamere’s youngsters were again present, but he must have invested in Rohypnol as they spent most of the time unconscious.

Nexus arrived as the Exec were discussing Nexus, or rather, the amount of money the WSU shells out to keep Nexus going each year. This discussion was all very capitalistic, and Nexus was relieved to see things settle back into the usual communistic/feminazi/ gay&lesbian cabal/Student Union groove after some time. The

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groove was helped along by Contact FM, who were having a party of some kind. Loud music and the occasional yowl of the hilarious announcers could be heard through the firmly-shut windows.

El Presidente Orgad passed whatever motion the Nexus discussion was part of with her traditional litany (“All in favour? Against?

Abstaining? Suss-tained! Grr-eat!”) and then opted to defer her Presidents report, on account of not having written it.

She did thank the members for showing up for the Noho Marae thing, and promised a thorough, “ very formal” report for next week, which Nexus will scrutinise with interest.

As it turned out, VP Neho didn’t have a formal report to give either. She did mention a feasibility study for a Men’s Rights Officer for the Exec. What a study that will be. What men’s rights are currently being trampled on that need defending by an Exec member – the right to enjoy beer and fart publicly, perhaps? – are a mystery to Nexus, but we’re sure there’s a good reason. They wouldn’t appoint one just for the sake of it, would they? Of course not. Student Unions are about efficient management of resources.

Sarcasm aside, there is an Special General Meeting coming soon.

Oooooh. Nexus will advertise. Orgad expects all the Exec to be there, and not doing whatever the Exec does when it is not at meetings.

Artists are being sought for doing Student Ball stuff. Apparently there are no artists at Waikato Uni – unsurprising, considering the generally shite quality of the graffiti here – and the Exec is searching more fertile ground, at Wintec. Good stuff, tech has some kick-ass murals.

Union Manager David West offered congratulations on the Noho Marae visit, and hoped for some more publicity. Then Orgad wanted to know “what the logic was behind having campus gigs on Fridays.” Apparently not that many people have been showing up, and Orgad blames it on a lack of pamphleteering. (Unlike Nexus, who blames it on a despicable lack of electro-acoustic Sublime cover bands) Orgad’s solution would be to organise pamphlet drops “in every lecture theatre, three times a day,” displaying a total lack of regard for the world’s forests. Also destroying the environment will be the Exec’s petroleum-guzzling, ozone-depleting, carbonconcentrating flights to the New Zealand Student Union Association conference. Quite a few members will be attending, prompting one member to remark “that’s a big gang.” Yes. Yes it is.

Around this time Nexus noticed Geoff Hawks, who had slunk in unnoticed, sporting a sheepskin jacket and wistful glances at the Contact FM party outside, which was now raging. A mysterious “Item 15” of the Agenda was deferred to the Committee of the Hole, whatever the hell that is. All Nexus knows is that Nexus isn’t allowed, which probably means it’s when the Exec have a ceremony where they dig a really big hole in the floor, for kicks. We don’t actually want to know.

For Item 16, Glen Delamere brought out a single sheet of paper and tabled it, commenting he’d refrained from printing a copy for each member “to save trees.” See, Sehai? That’s the spirit. The actual item had something to do with cakes and Christians, with Delamere claiming he was “trying to bribe God.” Good luck, man.

Preparations for Environment week are in full swing, with the barbeque readied and James “Elmo” Hartnett to wear a pumpkin suit. It’ll be worth going just for that.

Hawks made mention of putting on a spread for NZ Sign Language Week, at a cost of $180. Delamere, on a roll, suggested you could use sign language if your mouth was full, enabling continuous eating.

Orgad snapped “Shhhhhh!” sharply, and Delamere pouted a bit.

And on that bombshell, the Contact FM party started playing hideous hardcore music, the members readied their shovels for Committee of the Hole, and Nexus left.

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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NEWS

Free Bus Day

By Press Release Environment Waikato’s free bus day on Saturday was a roaring success, much like a tiger after killing an antelope, with Hamilton buses carrying 7131 people, or approximately 0.00011885% of the world’s population. So it really wasn’t that successful, in the scheme of things.

“That’s 72% more than we would normally carry on an average Saturday. On an average Saturday, we would carry 72% less, and on a non-average Saturday, we would have a non-average turnout. Other days are different beasts altogether. Let me show you the statistics,” said Programme Manager (Land Transport Operations and Latex Enjoyment) Russell Turnbull.

The busiest route was the Orbiter with more than 1,178 people using the bus to get around the city, and also into space. The passengers are expected to

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die of radiation poisoning as a result.

Next busiest was Frankton with 529 passengers, many of whom were using the bus to get to the Frankton Markets and steal things, because that’s what people from Frankton do.

Popular routes such as Silverdale (356) and Pukete (362) also did very well on the day. In a freak twist, many of these passengers were set upon by packs of fighting Pitbulls which were high on P. The survivors were clubbed to death with copies of Michael Cullen’s Budget by angry middle-class-whites who were pissed about not getting a tax cut.

And Raglan proved a popular destination with 108 trips taken on this route, mostly by hippies and people who can’t afford cars because of their addiction to methylated spirits.

At the Hamilton Transport Centre “free” entertainment was put on for those waiting for buses by unpopular singer Corilin Steel, and Ruben the road safety bear also made an appearance, terrifying children and devouring the contents of rubbish bins.

The free bus day was to celebrate the

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

buses carrying more than two million passenger trips in a financial year for the first time ever as people take advantage of expanded services, and also of skyrocketing petrol prices and increased congestion. Of course, only poor people use the buses. Rich people have cars and also helicopters.

Final passenger trip numbers are expected to be more than 2.5 million this financial year and could exceed 2.6 million, Mr Turnbull said. Because there are a lot of poor people in Hamilton who take the bus and get high on diesel fumes.

Every day, Nexus receives press releases from various parties, which we then (sometimes) change a bit, add quotes and run as news. This is standard industry procedure, and everyone does it, but it gets a little boring sometimes. To make this one more interesting, we added some fun lies. If you can spot all, or even one of them, add a lie of your own and send your most amusing to nexus@waikato.ac.nz and go in to win some entirely useless books we found lying around the office.

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Lettuce

Lettuce policy

Nexus loves it when you give it some attention via the Lettuce page. We want to hear about your thoughts, views and opinions on anything so don’t be afraid to put down your words and send them to nexus@waikato.ac.nz. We’d appreciate the letters before Tuesday 5 PM but you’re more than welcome to send letters whenever you’d like. The best letter will win a $5 Voucher from Campus Kiosk, located at the Cowshed.

Nexus welcomes your letters and encourages debate through the lettuce page, just keep it under 250 words. Letters must be received by 5 PM Tuesday, no later. Letters may be edited for sense, length and/or legal reasons. Psuedonyms are welcome but you must also include your real name and contact details (don’t worry, they won’t be printed). We discourage the use of psuedonyms on serious letters.

Captain Platini to the rescue!

Letter of the Week

Dear Nexus

Dear Nexuslol Techno This letter is in regards to a letter from The Bushman in Issue 10 of Nexus.

“To the point at hand though, what would happen if weed was decriminalised? Would you want your daughter using it all the time? ...it would be her right to after all.”

First, let me run through a couple of definitions. Decriminalisation is “the process of making an action no longer a criminal act in the relevant jurisdiction” (Wikipedia, 2007). Legalisation is (and this is more of a specific definition) the “removal of legal restrictions on the cultivation, manufacture, distribution, possession and/or use of a psychoactive substance.” (University of Pennsylvania, 1998). That is to say, decriminalisation of marijuana merely prevents people being charged with criminal offences for possession/use of the drug.

So if marijuana were decriminalised, the government would most certainly place age restrictions on it, much like tobacco and alcohol. In which case, I wouldn’t worry about my would-be daughter smoking it at her leisure, ‘cause she’d be 18 and raised to be responsible and educated on drug use (just as I am).

Secondly: “...I don’t believe allowing mass consumption of weed would benefit society” I find the term “mass consumption” to be a worry... But that relates back to the confusion between legalisation and decriminalisation, so I’ll leave it there. But decriminalisation of marijuana has so much positive potential for society. Let’s start with money. I like money, do you like money? I like money. It’s estimated that over $52,000,000 each year is spent on enforcing the prohibition of marijuana. That’s a lotta cake. Not only that, but with decriminalisation the government would tax marijuana to the hilt! So we would be concurrently reducing the price of weed (probably), and increasing our country’s economy. Yay! Furthermore, “As the study conducted by Whariki Maori Health Research Unit and Sally Casswell of Auckland Public Health Research Unit shows, the primary reason for marijuana abusers to avoid seeking treatment is the fear of a criminal record. Decriminalising marijuana would increase the chances of abusers seeking help” (Me, Just now).

Oh OH! Annnd: Decriminalising marijuana would, in all likelihood, reduce the number of P users in the country. “How” I hear you ask? By getting people away from the dodgy weirdo-dealers, the same dealers that are likely to also sell P; and the odds that they’ll place age restrictions on the shit they pedal aren’t fantastic.

Holland’s done this, and has one of the lowest rates of hard drug addiction in Europe!

HOORAY to Mr Safety Bigglesworth. Can we make him WSU Stupidity officer? Wiping out stupidity where ever it raises its ugly head. My mother always said “stupid is as stupid does”… but I don’t get it! More people should get on their bikes and RIDE!!!! I like to ride MY bicycle, I like to ride my bike. I like to ride my bicycle, I like to ride it where I like… I think pope john Paul said that! It would leave more parks as well,making it easier for female students to parallel park, because it’s a well known fact women can’t drive as well as men… It’s SCIENCE!! I fell off my bike once and hit my head, but had my helmet on, it was a Thursday and my helmet was yellow. Ride your bikes you lazy Bottom Burps!! I have a poem, hope it helps, you might know it, if you don’t, you’re too young or too stupid or both!

Pollution… all around, Sometimes up…

Sometimes down.

But always AROUND. Are you coming to my town Pollution, Or am I coming to yours?..HA! We’re on different buses Pollution, But we’re both using PETROL!!!

BOMBS!!!

To conclude, decriminalisation would increase NZ’s economy (rather than decrease), allow stupid druggies to get help, reduce P users in NZ, and allow for better control of the distribution substance.

Facts about bullshit

AJ P.S. It shouldn’t be relevant, but I’d like to mention that I’ve never used marijuana, despite having had countless opportunities and offers.

Good work AJ. Come claim your $5 Voucher from the Nexus office.

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Thank you, Cpt. Aircool Platini

Imporntant Info for Chuck and Benjo Dear Nexus I was just belatedly reading through the 7 may nexus when I came across that column “The Internet is for Porn” and can’t help but wonder if Chuck and/or Ben are geeks enough to have seen the video of same name at www.ipv6porn.co.nz.

If so I would like to thank them for joining the true G.E.E.K in our new once again private areas.

Gunn Hackery

Dear Nexus What an absolute crock the fact file was last week. Was it intended as a joke?

A rat can no more fall from a 5 story building an not sustain injury than blair could...give it a try!

Rat poison, aka warfarin, works because it is

WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

LETTUCE an anticoagualent and causes rats to internally haemorrhage to death. It doesnt work becasue rats can’t vomit!

Alberta is a landlocked province in canada with over 3000km of borders shared with other provinces and states in the USA. The idea that it is “rat free” is about as believable as Te Rapa waterworld roping off half their swimming pool and declaring it “urine free”.

Maybe Blair could rename the fact file to the bullshit file - at least it would legitimise the laugh.

Stefan Fairweather

Edible undies and plates provide solutions to every day problems Dear Nexus I must say bike to breakfast - a great initiative for environment day! But what really appalled me was that brekkie was served on NONRECYCLABLE plastic and paper plates!!! Not to mention the polystyrene cups! The breakfast actually created more waste than having breakfast at home and washing your own dishes! What exactly are you trying to promote?

Could Gaura not have sponsored potato starch plates? Or could you not have served it in reusable bowls? Hamilton throws about 243 tonnes of rubbish into landfill each day...well done we have just needlessly contributed.

Enviro

This is kinda gross Dear Editor, Alan McQueen better watch the f*ck out around here from now on. Me and my posse are gonna smash his smart mouth if he keeps talking sh*t about the wymmins room.

My posse is all lesbian, all bodybuilders, and all man-smacking goodness and we don’t take no sh*t from no skinny cock little boys.

There is a reason for girly-boy Alan McQueen to get a men’s room, and that’s to hide from us before we fist his anus inside out.

Signed, The Waikato University Committee for Gender Equality

Here comes the Kahu…

Dear Nexus

WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

I am sure that the WSU Maori officers do not mean to report inflated numbers of students attending their hui, however 30 - 50 students were the reported numbers. Next time take a roll and you will not be questioned on your numbers.

I am here to say ‘what makes this new proposed group more representative than KA’. how does this group intend to grow its mana when the indebtedness of KA is widely known - ask B Block or IRD to confirm this.

The legal status of KA was stripped because it failed to post audited reports for the years 2003 - 2006. Why should Maori students have any confidence in this new group.

Accordingly it is rumoured that a large percentage of the new working group are not there because of the need to represent Maori students but to gain money from WSU for their individual groups. Is the accountability we want creeping through the guise of doing the right thing for Maori students or totally motivated by the need to get money for group haerenga. mmm interesting point ne!

Remember everyone that if you intend to get money from WSU the requirement of audited accounts is needed and indeed is the criteria for this - just ask Te Whakahiapo and Te Ranga Ngakau, for they should be doing this very soon.

I am happy to watch what is done in the name of Maori students on this campus and report what I see and hear. So let this be a warning to those who would perform in the name of Maori students on this campus - your performance is being evaluated Kahu Nikora

Men are so passe Dear Nexus That letter from Alan Simpson the other week was bizarre. He’s obviously a fruit. How does having a woman’s room take food out of the mouths of babes? If he were to be accurate he would say that NOT having a woman’s room would take nipples out of the mouths of babes.

I’m sick of hearing fathers rant on about how fabulous they are if they take even the slightest bit of interest in their kid. They get all selfrighteous all of a sudden and think that the world owes them a whole lot of respect. What they forget is that women have been solo-parenting for millennia and nobody ever gave a shit about them. Why should the odd male solo parent get our sympathy or respect? It’s just another example of men needing oodles of attention and mothering right in to their adulthood.

Celia Barnett

CITIZENS’ ADVICE BUREAU

Can she drive?

Jessie has just arrived from China and her flat is too far from University to bike. She can afford an old car, but wonders how to get a licence.

The University branch of Citizens Advice Bureau can give you information about this or other inquiries you might have. They have heaps of pamphlets and a huge data base to help answer anyone’s questions. Visit them at the Cowshed from 11am – 2pm daily during semesters or phone 838 4466 extn 6622 or 0800FORCAB. By the way Jessie can drive on an overseas driver licence or international driving permit for 12 months after arriving in NZ. (The licence must be translated into accurate English) Before 12 months is up, she must convert it to a NZ licence. She will need a theory test and maybe a practical driving test as well. There is lots of information about licences and other things to do with driving and vehicles from the Land Transport NZ fact sheets which are on the website www.landtransport.govt.nz.

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

15

INTERVIEW

8 foot Sa

Step Up, STEP UP FOR

P

ut on the spot and all at the last minute, as is his style, Burton C Bogan thinks up seven clichéd and barely relevant questions to ask 8 foot Sativa’s Gary Smith…

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Nexus: You’ve had a few major line up changes over the past few years - how do you think this has affected the band musically?

Gary Smith: Yep there have been quite a few changes to the line up but each time it just keeps getting better and better! For the Poison of Ages recording we had William Cleverdon on guitar as well who was awesome creatively and one of the most solid guitar players I have played with.

This gave us the dual guitar option for the new album which we had never had before and we could exploit other ways of thinking musically.

Also in the studio and live it took a lot of weight off my shoulders and it all became more fun.

For Poison of Ages we had a Swedish drummer called Stephan Westerberg from Carnal Forge which for us was a dream come true. To be in ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Sweden and have someone of that calibre play the drums for us was just amazing. Then of course there is Brutal Ben from Ulcerate on the vocals who brings to 8 Foot the voice we have always been looking for. The nice high pitch screams as well as the bottom end with a voice that just does not get tired. He takes it very seriously and is the first vocalist for 8 Foot to work on and look after his voice through proper technique. William had to leave because of a permanent injury which has stopped him playing and Brent decided to call it a day. But all this only ended up better for 8 Foot as we now have the services of the two boys from New Way Home, being Rom and Christian, and to be honest I am now having to practice more than ever to even keep up with these guys. Rom is by far the best Bass player I have ever had the fortune WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

INTERVIEW

“... It is actually cheaper even with the air flights included to record in Sweden than in Auckland” GARY SMITH acts and it is awesome to see. It would take a while to list them all but, yes, I think it is in good shape for the future. It’s strange but the younger bands like the teenagers just seem to keep getting better at a younger and younger age and it is really encouraging to see that. NZ has some special talent and we need to pay attention to the potential that is here which for Metal is primary cause it is hard enough as it is in this genre. I’m confident for NZ Metal.

Why did you decide to record your last two albums in Sweden?

At the time we wanted to get away from NZ and focus on only recording. At home and coming home every night it is too easy to get distracted with other things. When you are living in the studio you only can focus on the recording and you give it your full attention. The main reason was we wanted a more aggressive and international sound than what we could get from the best studios here. We all loved Swedish metal and basically went through some albums of bands we liked, found out where they recorded and looked into it via internet and then just made the call. Also it is actually cheaper even with the air flights included to record in Sweden than in Auckland. Pelle at Studio Underground has massive experience in recording Metal including a lot of the bigger names. He has done over 200 Metal albums.

Also just good to see another part of the world while doing what you love and getting to meet some of the band members of bands you love.

ativa to play with and Monk (Christian) well, whoa!

Like I said, a lot more practice for Gary. And of course Jamie from Ulcerate, who is possibly the best drummer in the country. Overall, the new 8 Foot is by far the best line up both creative wise and technique wise than any previous line up and we can’t wait to work on the next project.

What do you think about the state of Kiwi Metal at the moment, particularly given that it’s Kiwi Music Month?

NZ Metal has some great bands at the moment and the good thing about it is that it’s across a very broad range of “Metal”, covering most forms of the style. Kinda depends on what some people would call Metal, as some bigger name bands aren’t really Metal. But in the true sense of the word we have some very mean WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

You’ve played with a lot of cool international acts...what would be your favourite one and why?

8 Foot has played with a lot of international acts: Pantera, Disturbed, Korn, Motorhead, Soulfly, Children Of Bodom, and more as supports but also on the same stage with lots of big acts like Slipknot, Metallica, etc. at The Big Day Out, for three we have done so far.

My favourite would have to be Pantera for the obvious reason of meeting Dimebag and the boys. But the main reason is how well we got treated by them and they were the best dudes ever. Normally you are kinda ignored: no sound check, play, then thrown out the door but this was great. We got looked after so well. The same with Disturbed, they helped us out and great dudes too. But yeah Pantera for sure, plus the fact that that was our first main support and we couldn’t believe we were ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

standing there talking to these guys. Awesome.

What kind of influences do you guys have musically?

That’s a hard one cause every one in the band is into a broad range of music. But obviously we all have a common like for the style we are playing which is melodic thrash/death but the extremes are all in there as well. Obviously the dudes from Ulcerate like their Metal extreme and then the New Way Home guys have a totally different feel with what they play. Besides Metal the musical influence ranges from Classical, Jazz, Fusion and a lot more so it’s kinda hard to pin down. As long as it’s good and well done I think all forms of music have an influence on us all. But Metal is king! I guess for the 8 Foot sound we want groove as well as all the melodic and technical aspects in there.

What was it like to be signed to a label like Intergalactic Records? How did it help/hinder what you do?

Well we were signed to Intergalactic for the first three albums but now we are doing our own label and are signed to Universal for distribution.

Some of the advantages would be getting the good support spots, ‘cause Andrew did get us some really good gigs which is obviously conductive to getting a bigger name, and selling more copies of the albums. Also, for us at the time we didn’t have any clue how the whole industry worked and to be honest we wouldn’t have done as well left to our own devices. Also, good TV and radio promotion helped a lot and all the other media avenues added to the band being better exposed. The down side (as with most record labels) is the money part. Basically the band (after the shops, label, distribution etc. have all come out) is left with like 5 per cent and out of that you pay for all vids, studio time and nearly everything else. Having said that, Intergalactic did do a lot of paying itself and gave us some good breaks on bills. This is our first time without a label which means we will get more of a cut from cash than before. We’ll see how it all goes.....

Lastly...who would win in a fight - Danzig or Glen Benton?

I would say Glen Benton. I guess for the both of them their biggest battle would be a fight with their own egos.

Poison of Ages, 8ft Sativa’s fourth album, due to be released 21st of May.

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FEATURE

The Nature of the Beats Feeding the NZ Music Monster

By Josh Drummond

A

s the industry celebrates the sixth New Zealand Music Month since it began in 2001, questions are being raised about the viability of the kiwi music industry to support artists and record labels.

New Zealand music has seen a remarkable resurgence from a seeming near-extinction in the late 90’s. The election of a Labour Government that proudly championed the local industry – mostly by hurling money at it – and associated awareness campaigns, especially New Zealand Music month, had a marked effect. The flagging industry was revitalised, local artists received airplay, often for the first time, and there was talk of “the next big kiwi band” that would crack the overseas markets and sell a million. An all-New Zealand music radio station was even launched, the aptly titled Kiwi FM. Kiwi hip-hop aficionados thrilled to the beats of Dawn Raid’s hip hop artists, and there were genuine local phenomenons. Like Scribe, whose single “Stand Up/Not Many” spent 12 weeks at Number One in the New Zealand Singles chart, and Fat Freddy’s Drop, whose album Based On A True Story went seven times platinum and reigned as one of NZ’s consistently best-selling albums for two years after it was released. Kiwi music was cool again, after a long drought.

But something is rotten in the state of Kiwi music. Dawn Raid recently fragmented, citing bad business decisions as a reason for failure, as well as a “shift in the local urban music economy, and illegal downloads.” The Kiwi FM frequency in Auckland was given by owners CanWest to easy-listening station The

18

Breeze, prompting a government bail-out in the form of new frequencies for the listenerhaemorrhaging station. And stories are rife of New Zealand artists who, despite perceived success, have to take second jobs to survive.

Icon Neil Finn, of such internationally successful bands as Split Enz and Crowded House, recently spoke out about the state of the industry.

“I think there is a tendency in New Zealand at the moment, because of NZ on Air dishing out large sums of money, for people to have unreal expectations for what New Zealand music can achieve overseas or is actually achieving,” he told Real Groove magazine. “I think it would be unrealistic for New Zealanders to expect that more than one or two things at a time would even get attention.

“But there’s a perception that is somewhat hype generated at the moment that all this music’s going out and making a big splash, and it’s really not.”

Finn also lashed out at Prime Minister – and Arts and Culture Minister - Helen Clark for taking “undue credit” for the success of the industry.

“It sort of sickens me to see Helen Clark getting up at the music awards and taking the bows,” he said. “Being lauded by the music industry because everyone’s getting a handout. It’s like New Zealand music is taking over the world and it’s all because of Helen.”

The fact is that Kiwi music is not taking over the world, despite continual hype to the contrary.

The only music from New Zealand that has even

come close to that has been chiefly by certain bands associated with brothers with the last name “Finn.” Occasionally Kiwi music will make a “breakthrough,” which is then picked up eagerly by the press and public and used as an example of how awesome the industry is, only for the band to burn out quicker than the average shooting star. There are plenty of examples.

New Zealand group Steriogram began as many New Zealand bands do, as a bunch of mates touring the country in a friend’s van sans support crew, playing at high schools and anywhere that would have them. Their video “White Trash” noticed by an agent, who signed them to mega-label Capital Records.

Another New Zealand success story seemed to be in the making. And, for a while, it was.

Steriogram’s hit single “Walkie Talkie Man,” backed by ferocious international touring by the band and aggressive promotion by label Capitol Records, was nearly ubiquitous in its spread. A clever video by award-winning French director Michel Gondry, lauded as NZ’s most expensive video ever, helped the song climb charts across the world. The single was co-opted for an iPod ad, movies, TV shows, and even several videogames.

But after “Walkie Talkie Man’s” stellar success, the rest of the album largely failed to fire, at least in album and singles sales figures. Despite doing reasonably well critically (the band were hailed as “New Zealand’s answer to Sum41,” by the American press) and picking up a rabid fan base through nearly non-stop touring, the band seemed to disappear with their withdrawal

“Something is rotten in the state of Kiwi music” ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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FEATURE

THE DATSUNS PERFORMING AT JBC’s (NOW CATALYST) SOME TIME AROUND 1999-2000

from the charts. They withdrew from Capitol Records and released their new album “This Is Not The Target Market,” on their own label Short Stack Records. Despite good sales, it’s gathered what amounts to a collective yawn from the mainstream music industry. Certainly, none of the album’s new songs have hit the mark like “Walkie Talkie Man.” But they’re harsher, more aggressive, and the band’s rock-and-roll through the record industry is the main reason why.

“It was good to have someone else paying

and Mirrors” was hailed as a return to form – and failed to make a dent anywhere outside of the Antipodes. History, it seems, always repeats.

The managers and record labels of “top New Zealand acts,” are quick to blame factors like illegal downloading on their artists being forced to take second jobs. Campbell Smith, the Recording Industry Association in New Zealand’s chief executive, told the New Zealand Herald that “the decline in CD sales” had forced New Zealand musicians to abandon music as a full-time career.

He manages such acts as Scribe, Blindspott, Breaks Co-Op, Brooke Fraser and Carly Binding – all artists who have ridden high in the New Zealand charts, some with number one albums and singles.

“My company manages 11 high-profile major New Zealand artists,” Smith said. “Of those 11, eight have had to take day jobs to sustain themselves; they can’t survive off music. In the mid-90’s through to the end of the 90’s, every artist that I managed survived off being a full-time musician.”

“That changed because it coincided with this period of increased theft and unauthorised

“The New Zealand music market may be just too small to support the current explosion of artists hoping to make a living out of the scene” for everything,” Steriogram guitarist and cofrontman Brad Carter said in an interview with theset.co.nz, “but it was also quite crushing to not have as much control of your career as we were used too. We had to like it or lump it with some things. I’m glad to not be with Capitol any more - it works well while things are hot, but when they cool down you just become a number in their books. All their initial talk of helping you have a career is bullshit.”

Then there’s the story of Waikato act The Datsuns, who were lucky enough to take their tight-jeans and stripped-down garage rock sound to the UK right when garage rock was the Next Big Thing. An NME cover and rave reviews followed. “Ridiculously great!” screamed The Independent. “The future of Rock & Roll,” said Dave Grohl, who should know better. NME were orgasmic in their praise. “We’re besotted...

The best live band on the planet,” they gasped.

Inevitably, a couple of hit songs and a hit album appeared. Then, the flame-out: their new John Paul Jones-produced album “Outta Sight, Outta Mind,” was given a lukewarm reception with the ever-fickle press and public mostly ignoring the artists formerly known as “the best live band in the world.” The Datsun’s latest album, “Smoke WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

copying and downloading of our music over the past seven or eight years.”

Smith’s claims ring slightly hollow, if only because Runga’s second album, which amassed 160, 000 copies, hit in 2002 – after MP3 proliferation and downloading was well underway, and time enough to encompass the rise and fall of the original pirate haven, Napster. Obviously, illegal downloads have played a part in the demise in record sales, but the New Zealand music has only gotten bigger since the advent of downloading, illegal or otherwise. Neither does the scapegoat of “illegal downloads” explain why support for Kiwi bands with “big” potential is pulled as soon as the cash cow stops giving milk.

The quick conclusion, jumped to by many, is that the nasty soulless record companies and local naiveté combine to form a beast of a situation, where struggling artists sell themselves only to be dumped on the roadside when they’ve been all used up. This isn’t quite the case, either, Kiwi music is, in many ways, booming as never before.

The phenomenal success of Fat Freddys is a prime example. But it wasn’t the mythic fast-track road to instant riches that is perpetuated by the record industry and mainstream music press.

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Fat Freddys quietly amassed a quietly fanatical fanbase through endless gigging and touring, with just one EP, “Live at the Matterhorn” released in the four years since their inception. Then, just as quietly, “Based on a True Story” was slipped out in 2005. The fan base snapped it up, the media caught on, and Fat Freddys were stars.

The difference? They’d done everything on their own label, The Drop, and controlled the rights and money flowing from their own music. If they burned out, they only had themselves to blame. Of course, they didn’t, and album sales continue strongly today, over two years later.

If there’s a lesson that can be learned from this, it’s that the New Zealand music market may be just too small to support the current explosion of artists hoping to make a living out of the scene the traditional way – touring, signing to a label, and hoping to make it big. But that’s no reason to write off the Kiwi music scene, which is bursting with a richness and variety never before seen – it just means that artists, and particularly record labels, should be more realistic about just how Kiwi musicians should go about reaching for the sky.

STERIOGRAM

Commentator Russell Brown summed it up neatly in a recent post on his blog, PublicAddress. net, in a response to Neil Finn’s comments.

“The industry has been in something of a lull in the past year -- certainly in comparison to a period of unprecedented sales success and public presence in the early part of the decade. Dawn Raid - which spent too much on a project that failed, and didn’t pay its taxes - collapsed recently.

But that doesn’t mean the collapse of the industry.

“There are several promising releases scheduled for this year, and a very lively undercurrent of independent acts, particularly in Auckland (the New Zealand Music Month Auckland showcase tonight features no fewer than 10 of them). There are a lot of people who actually really love music in the local industry.”

If some of New Zealand’s music creators end up doing what they love in their spare time, that’s not necessarily a great loss. But as the success stories show, there’s no reason why Kiwi musicians can’t support themselves, when managed properly. Some of New Zealand’s proudest, most iconic achievements were achieved by people who did things in their spare time.

There’s no reason why music should be any different. Hell, we’ve got a whole month for it.

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FEATURE

How NZ Music sales figures really stack up

BY ALANA FERGUSSON

N

ew Zealand has a number of successful artists, from old skool rockers like Split Enz, Dave Dobbyn, Crowded House and The Exponents to more modern sounds like that of Fat Freddys Drop, Shapeshifter, KatchaFire, Blindspott, and Op Shop – really the list does go on and on. We have all the genres that you could possibly think of and not to mention gaggles of great bands that are still waiting for their big break.

But, at the end of the day, can our musicians really make a viable living off CD and DVD sales alone. Can they live the life of an American superstar here in little ol’ New Zealand?

In the New Zealand Top 40, which was compiled at the end of April 2007, only five New Zealand artists had their presence noted in the top singles category – this is out of a possible 40. In the top albums there is only four, with Hayley Westenra at the top of the table in at Number One. Sounds Marketing Director Bill Bowden says, “There is definitely a market for New Zealand music but unfortunately for some artists they don’t really get to see a lot of the money made from the sales because of all of the work that happens in the background.” Artists who have been around for a couple of decades have the ability to live quite comfortably, but nowhere near to the extent that the Mariahs and the Beyonces of this world can.

Our well established musicians such as Bic Runga, Carly Binding and Brooke Fraser may have ample success here and in Australia but platinum sales here don’t exactly equate for much overseas. With an apparent lack of funding, it can make it difficult for artists to get their music out there but the government is trying to change that. This year taxpayer funded NZ on Air will spend $2.15 million helping musicians make videos and recordings. The Music Industry Commission will spend $500,000 helping artists market their products overseas. One of the people charged with cranking up the volume on Kiwi music is Cath Anderson, general manager of the Music Industry Commission. Anderson notes the basic arithmetic of market size -New Zealand has four million people, Australia 20 million, a major European

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country 60 million, America 300 million.

“A niche market in a country the size of Britain is bigger than the entire market in a country the size of New Zealand,” she says.

This inevitably could be our biggest downfall when trying to promote New Zealand Music and our artists. Or, are we just a very small fish trying to break into an extremely large pond?

With the integration of New Zealand Music month, it has given New Zealand musicians the opportunity to showcase their talents to the country and hopefully break into the overseas market. New Zealand pop-rock band Steriogram was fortunate enough to be snapped up by American record giant, Capital Records. Because of this, Steriogram became the poster boys for New Zealand music worldwide. But, did it give them the success and millions of dollars that all musicians really want out of their music? In a sense it has given them the success but lack of the latter is unfortunately the case for not only our artists but our record companies as well.

The New Zealand music chart is made up of all the sales from the albums as they are released. In New Zealand we have the top 40 chart which is updated every week and gets its rankings from music distributors around the country. “We have so many artists, yet because the main bulk of the popular music is from the States or Europe it does make it harder for artists to be immensely successful.

With the integration of New Zealand music month, it has given them the pedestal to stand on so they can get their music out there.”

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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COMIC

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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Ground floor, Student Union Building, University of Waikato, Gate One, Knighton Road, Hamilton Mon-Fri: 8:30AM – 4:30 PM www.wsu.org.nz

Overview Well, during the recess, WSU has been really busy with getting new systems up in place and more people on board to provide the benefits and services that you need.

For starters, you can now visit our new and improved website at www.wsu.org.nz. It is still under construction but has a lot of info on up and coming events and campaigns.

The WSU has also now appointed an Advocacy co-ordinator. If you have any issues, hassles or problems, or if you’re struggling financially, come and visit Shannon Kelly who will be more than happy to help you out.

The Rangatahi Business Competition kicked off two weeks ago when 150 students from all over the region descended upon the University of Waikato campus. These students are secondary school students who will be mentored by students from the university in order to build up their skills and confidence to enable them to present case studies and experience university study in general.

This is an exciting event - to find out more details visit http://www.management.ac.nz/rangatahi And last but not least, CONGRATULATIONS to every one who celebrated their graduation last week. It was so great to see you all celebrating your amazing achievements. I hope you all find success in every journey that you take, and that you keep on repping for Waikato, ‘cos you know that’s how we roll!

Student Events Coming Up 22

Phone: 07 856 9139 Fax: 07 856 3161

EVENT

Students’ General Meeting (SGM) It is finally here! The week of the much anticipated SGM. That’s right, your chance to stand for one of the four available portfolios has come. If you fit the criteria that has been outlined in the last two weeks NEXUS articles then you just might be the right guy or gal for the job. Just to remind you, those four positions are: • GLBT officer • International students’ officer • Tauranga students’ officer • Mature students’ officer Come along on Wednesday 23rd May at 1pm to L1 (if you are in Hamilton) or UWTB.G.26 (if you are in Tauranga).

Other things going on at WSU - We had the noho marae down at Tokoroa for our international students – who knew that the ‘happy birthday’ song doesn’t have the same tune for every country??? It was a great weekend and one that Sehai is going to tell you more about in her article.

Our staff are going hard representing the WSU in ‘step it up’, the corporate challenge. There is a lot of suspicious laughter and smiling going on… rumour has it that team “White Shoes United” (the first letters spell WSU) are enjoying themselves!

This is the last Friday in New Zealand music month, it would be awesome to see as many of you as possible down at the village green on Friday supporting our local talent. Yes we know that Friday is not your “be at uni” day of choice, but it’s a free concert and a chance to hang out with your mates.

Moira Neho VICE PRESIDENT – vp@wsu.org.nz

Kimbra Johnson

Study Week

FRIDAY 25TH MAY 1-2pm – Village Green The WSU presents a live performance from singersongwriter Kimbra. Go to www.myspace.com/kimbramusic for a sneak preview

JUNE 4–8 No, not a holiday - if you need any help with your studies, please come and see us and we will put you in touch with the right people

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Events Calendar

Environmental Day The Bike to Uni Breakfast went down well and many students were pleased to score some bacon & eggs in return for their early morning cycling efforts.

Many environmental organisations came along to share information and we’d like to thank them all for coming, and a special thanks to Dr. William DeLange for his interesting and thought provoking speech on climate change. The Vegetable Object Making Competition was a highlight, with creations such as ‘The Dong Man’ and William Gauntlett’s ‘Broccoli Head’ (which shared a striking resemblance to his flatemate Andrew Corkill). We cannot forget to thank Elmo for his efforts as a pumkin and willingness to look like a vegetable on his birthday!

Thanks to those who came down to a look and all others who helped us on this day!

Many of you expressed an interest in getting a community garden set up on campus. If we can get enough numbers, it can surely become a reality.

Katy Dimmendaal & Claire Taylor ENVIRONMENTAL OFFICERS – environment@wsu.org.nz

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

SGM: May 23rd 1-2pm in L1. Any questions, email vp@wsu.org.nz

NZ Music Month: Every Friday afternoon in May on the Village Green from around 1pm.

Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz

Student ball: Saturday, July 7th. Starts 8pm. Tickets at the WSU Office. Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz

Re-Orientation 07: July 9 till 15. Stretch now, details coming soon…. Any questions, email orientation@wsu.org.nz

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CLUBS

WSU SERVICES

Christian Clubs

WSU Advocacy Service

“Slice of heaven” is playing as I enter the Student Life meeting and my first concern is that this is a subliminal message that “80’s” music is good?

My fears are quickly laid to rest as the “Crossroads” meeting comes to order with a presentation on time management. God knows about this as he only had 6 days to create the earth, talk about a tight time frame.

Student Life is a multi-denominational Christian club (no protestant vs. catholic here) that also is active during the week not just during cultural hour on Wednesday.

The main thing that Student Life would like students to know is that culture differences between the various Christian groups are similar to Union and League, same type of ball and field just a few different rules that each observe. Student Life focuses on a relationship aspect with God on a day to day basis.

Let talk about a subject which affects us all, eating. Now from time to time due to unforeseen circumstances some of us are unable to do this due to conflicting pressures on our budgets, this could include unexpected circumstances like funerals of loved ones, not being paid on time, bills that just have to be paid like power etc the list goes on. However don’t fret or frown or become a victim of the starvation monster the WSU is here as a safety net to make sure you can function as an active student within our community by the provision of food grants.

Glen Delamare SPORT AND RECREATION OFFICER

Edupene & Eduwhets EDUCATION OFFICERS – education@wsu.org.nz

Our services include the ability to give food grant to those who meet the hardship criteria. The following table sets out the provision of food vouchers according to relationship status and number of dependents Status Single Couple

0 Children 1 child $30 $40 $60 $70

2 Children $50 $80

3 Children $60 $90

4+ Children $70 $100

So whanau please remember that this service is available to you in times of need.

Another service facilitated for you, paid by you the people so don’t be shy to use what you have paid for…..

Student Ball 2007 The roaring 20s was one of the most colourful decades, where the rich and the poor mingled, and jazz was born. Optimism and prosperity were the order of the day, and bathtub gin and moonshine were the order of the night.

Women were risqué, wearing skirts that showed off the knee, smoking French cigarettes, and applying makeup in public. The men were a dashing sight, in pinstripe suits and bowler hats, and a cigar was never far from sight.

While we are too young to remember this remarkable era, don’t despair. The WSU student ball is your opportunity to celebrate all the excitement and dubiousness of the 1920s. The above are just a few ideas to put you on track for your costume, but don’t take our word for it…even though your lecturers wont accept references from them, Google and Wikipedia are your friends.

Held on the 7th July at the Performing Arts Academy, tickets can be purchased from WSU for only $75. This includes 5 drinks (alcoholic or not), nibbles, and unforgettable entertainment.

Be in quick, tickets are fast running out!!

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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Notices Accomodation Are you sick of living in scum?

Wanna live sumwhere new?...

THEN THIS COULD BE YOUR NEW FLAT!!!...brand new house with open plan living..primo 3rd bedroom gets the afternoon sun....$155 covers power sky. wireless broadband,phone,ren t,food if you choose..good for students as its 15 mins walk to gate one... 16 Salisbury Place...

Sherwood park !!pets Neg!!

078391417 / 0276883882 NIK Flatmate wanted to share with four 3rd year girls. Rent $76 p.w. plus $39 expenses (Including food, wireless internet, phone, Sky) $115 total. 5min walk to uni, Cameron Rd. Room available in a couple of weeks. Looking for an easygoing flatmate with a good sense of humor. Txt Emma on 027 329 7817.

Flatmate wanted. Less than 5 min walk from uni. House fully furnished except bedroom. $105/wk incl rent, pwr, broadband & phn. Arvo sunny room.

Available at the end of June. 4 easy-going guys in flat already. txt Alyssa, 027-632-6410 Flatmate wanted to live with 2 uni students. 3 brm flat. $87 per week rent plus other expenses $25. Includes basic food items, broadband and phone. 15 mins walk from uni down Old Farm Rd. Large room available now.

Looking for an easygoing flatmate.

Contact Hono on 021 054 0296 or Varun on 021 319 100. female flatmate wanted to live with one friendly 4th yr female;

commencing B semester/end June; off Hillcrest rd; VERY close to uni; off-street parking warm, bright & clean flat; sunny bedroom; room 2.3m x 3.5m; rent $80 p/w; [phone (optional) $15 p/m; broadband (optional) $15 p/m; power approx $25 p/m;] ph 856-9585.

Flat for Rent! Available now. 4 bedroom, 3 inside and 1 outside - sleepout with onsuite. Good size bedrooms. 2 bathrooms, spacious lounge with french doors that open out onto patio. Nice private back yard, perfect for parties! Plenty of parking space, including a carport. $300 per week = $75 per room.

Phone or txt 0273403939 or phone 856 1629. Or you can email: cmhh1@waikato.ac.nz to view.

female student all 20-21yrs, easy to get along with. $135 rent including power, phone, food, broadband. Need own bedroom stuff, all rest fully furnished. Off st parking. Double rm available, two wardrobes, sunny, upstairs. 2 bathrooms.

20min walk to uni, 15min walk to town. Room available 23rd June. Call/TXT 0273207241.

Flatmate wanted to live with with two 3rd year girls. The rent $130, and includes the room, phone, internet, power, sky and food. Very close to uni, May Street. Phone or text 0274272813 for more details.

For Sale Single bed with matress and lots of storage.

Blake - 0274670591 Textbook For Sale - Introduction to Social Psychology (4th edition)

- set text for first year paper Social Psychology(semester B). In very good condition. Txt 0276323427

Public Notices and Meetings Anybody interested in starting Waikato Uni Cycling club, predominantly for Mtb, but Roadies as well, to organise social rides, and general coffee drinking outings please email me to gauge interest. We may be able to get some WSU funding to get, transport to events, shirts printed etc. mtbking@hotmail.co.uk Green Party Climate Defence Tour - Hamilton public Meeting with special guest Jeanette Fitzsimons. Knox St Church, 50 Albert St Thursday 24 May at 7.30pm. Plus the Hamilton workshop - Hamilton Environment Centre, 25 Ward St, Friday 25 May from 12-1pm.

Flatmate wanted: Cameron Road, to share with two girls, biggest room. $94 per week + expenses. Room avail asap. Amy 0276989218. Flat available in Hamilton East. Clean and wellmaintained, 4 bedrooms (3 double, 1 single), close to town, uni and shops, lots of parking space, shed to chuck your stuff in, security lights. $290 for the lot. Available immediately! If interested txt Tash 027 469 4725 or call 858 4996 Flatmate wanted: 3 bedroom house in hospital area, 1 available room to share with 2 others, big backyard, house is alarmed, 5-10 min walk to hospital and lake. off street parking. $100 p/w incl power. someone needed asap. call or text anna on 0274300934 Flatmate wanted. To share 4 bdrm, 2 story tidy townhouse with 3 others. 1 couple and a

NOTICES ARE FREE FOR STUDENTS TO ADVERTISE WITH. SEND YOUR NOTICE TO NEXUS@WAIKATO.AC.NZ AND PLEASE KEEP IT SHORT AND SWEET. SENDING IT BEFORE TUESDAY 5 PM GUARANTEES THE NOTICE WILL HIT THE NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE. WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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FEATURE PHOTO BY GUZUMO

Live music not so healthy

BY CAPTAIN AHAB

D

espite all the self-congratulatory back-patting that New Zealand music month brings, the simple fact is that within Hamilton, bands are faced with apathetic (at best) and often outright hostile attitudes from the Hamilton City Council and Liquor Licensing authorities.

The first victim was Diggers Back Bar, which had traditionally advertised itself as “the home of live music”. The establishment of a nearby private hospital put an end to all but very occasional gigs at Diggers. The noise factor is an odd one, given that there are at least 4 different sources of loud music very near to Diggers. While the Loaded Hog can play crappy techno until all hours of the night, Diggers Back Bar was told to keep it to a whisper.

By far the favourite venue among local and touring bands was Sohl. The friendly staff, neo-Bohemian decor, no venue hire charge and a bar tab for the bands meant that Sohl quickly became the centre of the Hamilton music scene.

The presence of large numbers of people in town who didn’t look like they would belong at the Outback was met with suspicion and hostility by Police, who would regularly prosecute Sohl for punters trying to smoke and drink at the same time (who were trying to maintain a balancing act between not violating the Smoke Free Environments Act, and not violating the

26

insane council liquor by-law). Sohl was targeted with bizarre undercover stings and inconsistent enforcement of laws (Sohl was forced to close during its Dinner-and-Show Good Friday A Low Hum Tour, while other licensed premises were allowed to stay open), and noise complaints at times in the evening when most Bahama Hut revelers are causing more noise with their widebore exhausts. Yet, despite all of this attention from authorities, nobody who ever went to Sohl would be able to recount a single story in which a fight broke out, or in which there was any trouble of any kind. Compare this to any other bar in Hamilton, proportional to the amount of attention they receive. The eventual sale of Sohl had such a profoundly crippling effect on the live music scene that it has still not recovered.

The most recent closure is The Castle, which was quickly becoming established as Hamilton’s new favourite venue (insofar as it was the only one left). Responsibility for this closure lies firmly with the owners, who failed to renew their liquor license, and served ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

liquor to an under-aged person. This closure, however, meant that the last free venue for regular live music in Hamilton was gone.

Bands were reduced to paying extortionate venue hirage fees (which they will never, ever recover from door sales), or trying to setup their gear in a friendly suburban living room.

House parties are often restricted by anonymous neighbours whose single pleasure in life appears to be having noise control on speed-dial. The very same neighbour will happily mow his or her lawns at 7am on a Sunday, but obviously that’s not the same as some wafting music on a Saturday afternoon! Unfortunately, this is the stance taken by councils across New Zealand.

Noise Control has little or no discretion when it comes to live music, despite any exonorating factors such as road noise, the incidence of early-morning leaf-blowing, or how much of a dick the complainant is. For this reason, playing at house parties is simply not an option for all but the quietest of Hamilton bands.

The only option at the moment (aside from trying out whacky new venues that nobody has been to before) is Ward Lane. The venue kindly transferred all the bookings from the Castle which would have otherwise been cancelled, but the future is still somewhat uncertain. Perhaps this New Zealand Music Month, people can stop talking about supporting New Zealand Music, and really do something about it instead.

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FEATURE

Support New Zealand Music…

Please give generously Are New Zealand musicians really charity cases?

BY PETRA JANE

D

o you love New Zealand music? The New Zealand Music Industry Commission says you do. The government-funded organization is charged with “growing NZ music business” here and abroad, which includes the promotion of New Zealand Music Month every May. And according to their figures, sales and airplay of kiwi music have increased dramatically in the seven years since NZ Music Month’s inception.

In May 2001, local artists made up six percent of music sales and 11% of commercial radio airplay. In 2005, those figures were 29 and 23% respectively. Three New Zealand albums are represented in this month’s charts.

This February, Brooke Fraser’s Albertine was the lone kiwi voice in the top 20.

Which is where it gets worrying. The NZMIC’s own statistics show we bought 55,000 kiwi albums in May 2005, up slightly from 50,000 the previous year, but more than double what we bought in April 2005. Each May, the NZMIC subsidises a massive advertising and promotion campaign, stocking Hallensteins outlets with merchandise, pushing radio stations to play more local content, covering every billboard and magazine back cover with its logo. Once the hype fades and the bullseyes get postered over, we resume our indifference towards kiwi music. If we really love local music, then why do we only buy it when they remind us it’s that time of the year? Is New Zealand Music Month really a celebration of local music, or an awareness campaign for a charity case?

The New Zealand Music Industry Commission paints a rosy picture of a thriving New Zealand Music Industry. May’s our chance for artists and fans to pat each other on the back for a job well done. And yet, last year’s New Zealand Music Month opened with radio station Kiwi FM being saved from financial disaster by the Labour government. Recording Industry Association CEO Campbell Smith recently told a parliamentary WWW.NEXUSMAG.CO.NZ

select committee that eight of the high-profile artists he represents, including Carly Binding and Blindspott, had second jobs because music piracy threatened their income (these artists are amongst those lauded in NZMIC publicity as kiwi music success stories). Dawn Raid announced its bankruptcy in April, as debts passed the million dollar mark. Dunedin cafe-venue Arc and Auckland’s Hysteria closed their doors this month. Even those NZ Music Month t-shirts being flogged by Hallensteins are made in China, which begs the question: if a small market like New Zealand can’t support local manufacturing, what chance to our ‘creative industries’ stand?

Some have started to criticize NZMM’s motives, and its relevance to the musicians and fans who already support kiwi music at its grass roots “NZ Music Month is designed to increase airplay on radio and to sell more NZ music through retail. However, there is no extra effort made to get artists who actually need assistance in these matters,” says music promoter and enthusiast Blink. The driving force of A Low Hum suggests that NZMM has little meaning to those making music for the love of it, outside the chimera of the local Music Industry. Several major labels might make some extra bucks selling some extra records, but is it building a base for the rest of the country’s original music to grow on?”

Admittedly, it’s not this dedicated core that NZ Music Month aims to please. It targets the indifferent majority of New Zealand music ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

fans who listen to commercial radio and buy top-40 albums. And the country gets behind the calls to “Support New Zealand Music” with patriotic fervour. New Zealand music sales do increase every May, especially for the few local acts (Evermore, Hayley Westenra) already charting in the Top 50. And if commercial viability for a few mainstream bands is the measure of success, then it sounds like kiwi music is doing very well for itself.

While Elemeno P’s Dave Gibson professes to be embarrassed by singers with Nuw Zulin’ accents on C4’s Music Month ads, independent acts Conan & The Moccasins and Die! Die! Die! have taken their kiwi twangs off-shore to London and New York in order to succeed as New Zealand musicians. Even NZMM pin-ups Shihad and Fur Patrol moved to Australia, where population density and infrastructure exist to make a viable music industry. New Zealand has neither the population nor infrastructure. We have an industry holding onto an illusion of the ‘music biz’, that lets labels rack up million-dollar debts from unrealistic business practices and blame consumers for five-piece metal bands holding day jobs between tours. It’s a local industry that relies on a massive Government-sponsored advertising campaign to double its sales for one month of the year, and somehow considers this a ‘success’; an industry that exists completely outside the grass roots network of independent New Zealand music, rather than as a progression from it.

“Without working on the foundations, all we do is end up with a few artists making heaps of money and everybody else left in the cold,” Blink warns. “What about bands who can’t afford to record, tour, release their records, make videos?”

The present New Zealand music industry struggles to sustain itself, and New Zealand Music Month becomes a celebrityendorsed charity appeal. Support New Zealand Music -- please give generously.

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Puzzles are puzzling! Puzzles help ninja to technique go good. Very important to ninja.

Sudoku

this

and

that

X C X U S S S T N A R G U K T O B K V O S E P A H F X H I D H M G Y U R I A N O Z N T U S D J S W N D A T S U N S N N T V Q D M D T S S H D P E U W A D D R E G G I F N X D N A A N R O O S U N R G V I I N B R J J E F R Y I I O N N O N S D A T G D Q S O A D U P N I C L G L O H O C L A E N P T F K A G B P O S T E R S I U I Q I N E S D U B X L W D E D F E H E R

draw

NZONAIR POSTERS SEX SOUNDGUYS STANJAGGER WARDLANE

will

FINN FUNDING GRANTS GROUPIES HARDCORE INDIE

Only skilful ninja can complete this!

Are you ninja?

I

ALCOHOL CONTACTFM DATSUNS DRUGS DUB DUNEDIN

You draw line through all boxes and not go in box with ur drawn line in it

you you complete!

28

if

Ninja name: Ninja email: Tick you like Ninja Dookie: Yes Of course I like cats!

Yeh! Ninja Box is easy Yes Send your comments to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

picture

Be first with crossword finish to Nexus office and win dvd rental from Auteur House (555 Victoria St)! GOOD DVDS! Write your name below. Read page 31

START/FINISH Na! No

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

BOUNCE REFLECT TELEPORT

CANNOT GO BACK THRU block UNLESS REFLECT!

FOLLOW ARROW!

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COLUMNS

By Blair

What’s Wrong With You? Stomach Pain • Gas • A Peptic Ulcer

NZ Music Bonanza Part One: Put your hands up for Tastei!

This time around, we have decided to join in the NZ music fun.

So this week, we present part one of our NZ music two-parter;

• A parasite digging into the wall of your stomach

Wrinkles • Dry skin • Sun damage • The first signs of progeria, the premature aging disease that makes cells mysteriously stop reproducing, causing gray hair, baldness and sagging and wrinkled skin within just a few months.

Body Odour • Time for a new deodorant • Sign of hormonal changes • The onset of trimethylaminuria (the fish odour syndrome), a persistent and highly offensive body odour that smells of rotting fish, believed to be caused by depression, relationship or career problems, substance abuse, and/or paranoia (all common at university)

Excessive Blinking • Dryness of the eyes • A nervous twitch • An early sign of blepharospasm, a rare muscle disorder that causes the eyelids to lock shut permanently

Pimples • Acne • Sebaceous cysts • Boils caused by mphutsi fly maggots that have burrowed under your skin

Hair Falling Out • Male pattern baldness • A fungal infection • A surprisingly common stress-related disorder called alopecia univeralis, which causes all the hair on your body, including eyelashes and eyebrows, to fall out

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“Chuck and Benjo’s NZ Music Bonanza! Part One” Firstly, we want to say that NZ music is patchy; much like its American and European cousins, some of it is good, great, spectacular. Some of it is okay. And the rest, well, let’s not get into it. In fact, the very existence of a “NZ Music Month” is no longer valid as the “NZ Music-Sound” has become so subjected to outside influences that the “NZ Music-Sound” no longer exists. For example, the New Zealand hip-hop artist Tyree is obviously entranced with the “American Gangsta” sound that his video for his 2006 single “Ladies and Gentlemen” reflects this. With its shiny cars and scantily-clad women, the video seems to be very gangsta-lite in its execution.

But what do we care? We’re Chuck and Benjo.

So, we want to introduce to you an up-and-coming pop artist whose talent only rivals her beauty: Tastei.

She is about to hit the scene with her debut single “Knites In Shining Bling”, which is a great song about those things in life that really matter; money, clothes and sex. She is constantly flanked by her two Brownajuku Girls and is proud to be an island beauty with white skin and blue-green eyes. In an interview with “Juicay” magazine, she was quoted as saying that she was “proud to be a Nesian girl that isn’t ashamed of being ashamed of being a Nesian girl” (She says that a lot). Tastei also dabbles in rapping in this single, with lyrics such as; “Glassons and Supre I go there everyday I’m stealin’ all their clothes I’m punchin’ all them hoes” Her video also features a rapper on the rise, Fresh-E who was rumoured to have had a tryst with Tastei but they broke up amicably and he began dating the lead singer of 48 May for a week. He is now single, so ladies (and maybe guys), shout him a “holla”, yo.

Tastei is fresh and new and is exactly what the NZ music scene needs; a sexy lady wearing practically nothing and wanting to be another race.

Tastei: She’s hot, she’s Nesian, she’s Tastei.

Next Week: More NZ Music fun!!!

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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COLUMNS

BY CHEF CYRIL

Stuffed Potato This is a relatively simple thing to make and doesn’t really make a meal in itself, but it sure beats raw potato.

As the name would suggest, a stuffed potato is just like a normal potato only it has been stuffed, similar to a dead dog.

But unlike stuffing a dead dog we don’t NEED to kill anything before beginning this. What you will need is: A big potato 60c Unflavoured yoghurt 50c Salt and pepper you should have it There is a bunch of other stuff that can be stuffed into a stuffed potato, but we’ll get to that later.

If you haven’t been able to follow my recipes

so far, either because of my shocking writing or because of your own inability, it’s time to start afresh. I only say this because if you stuff this up, you really should not enter a kitchen.

Oh by the way, did you notice my pun.

So first you’ve gotta clean the potatoes - water is best for this, but in a pinch I have used my own spit. Then set your oven to “hot”, on gas ovens it might be labelled “a little bit hotter”, converting this to Celsius would be about 180 C or 200 C… or 2.00 C if you forget to carry the four. Put the potatoes in the oven. Leave them in there for about 50 minutes, or until cooked. It is also a proven scientific fact that they will cook faster if you watch them.

Or is it? The above is kind of boring, so we will pimp it, a.k.a. ”Pimp my Spud”. All the pimping happens at the stuffing and mixing stage, at night, when no one is looking.

You can add bacon to the mixture. You don’t need to cook it first, but for crunch you will. Personally I add a plethora of herbs to this. I grow them in my backyard, in a Styrofoam insulation board that I “found” by a construction site. Chopped parsley and chives (Chinese or normal) are a good combination. Garlic helps too.

Once cooked you wanna cut a hole in the potato, and scoop out the insides.

Throw them in a bowl… violently. Season them with salt and pepper and throw in

Technically, that’s a stuffed potato. But seeing which of your orifices can hold a potato would also be called stuffed potato.

I would NOT recommend it though.

Vitalisa By isa

Letting go Many people like to tell stories about their strange, irritating or ridiculous experiences but sometimes past events can become burdens; an unnecessary waste of your time, effort and energy.

Even if your friends backed you up the first time you told them the story of your unloving parent, horrible ex or insensitive lecturer, by the twentieth rendition, with bonus embellishments, it becomes draining and annoying. Expressing your frustration over the rude and arrogant driver who pulled out in front of you can be a good way of venting and releasing tension but if you are constantly mulling over the same repetitive scenes and not getting anywhere you are pouring all that energy and attention into your life which reinforces negative patterns, which make you prone to noticing the worst, most horrible, miserable perspective.

If you want to know where you are wasting your energy, make a list

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the yoghurt or sour cream. Mix it all up and stuff back into the potato. Kinda like reverse diarrhoea. Then bake in the oven again, just to warm it up. That’s it.

of all the past situations or people you talk about or think about in a negative way, which bring up an emotional response. As you become aware of these experiences, broaden your perspective. How would you feel about them if you were watching them in a movie where someone else was playing the main character? Taking a step back can help you to step out of the drama and free yourself from its flaming tendrils?

If there is a particular person you feel anger or hate towards, close your eyes and imagine that person shrinking and getting younger and younger until they are a two or three year old. Look into the face of that little child and it will be easy to let go of any grudges you hold against that person. Focussing negative attention on the past is wasteful, like tipping potentially good food in the bin; it creates a deficit whereas focussing on positive experiences reinforces positive feelings, like a money tree that just keeps giving. A similarly colourful analogy follows, courtesy of Louise Hay: Dwelling on unhappy past experiences is like choosing to eat your dinner out of the rubbish bin every night instead of eating fresh and pleasant food. Letting go of the rubbish of the past will free you and allow you to put all your energy into being a healthier, happier person and into experiences you want to have and people you enjoy being around.

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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COLUMNS

University students and psychoactive substances have long been associated. Burying your head in a book may not have the same attraction as filling it full of D-Lysergic Acid Diethylamide or Psilocybin, but it can pay to do some reading on the subject given that these substances can just as easily open the doors to hell as to heaven.

By Burton C Bogan

The New Level

Since it is the season when various Hamiltonians begin to lurk furtively around local gardens searching for hallucinogenic fungi, you may want to borrow a guide to NZ mushrooms if you do not want your trip to be one to the hospital to have your stomach pumped, or worse. And you should also track down some ‘trip reports’ to find out what you may be getting in for. Erowid.org is a particularly useful resource in this regard.

Conducting a search on our catalogue for keywords, such as ‘psychedelics’ or ‘hallucinogens’, will turn up some useful material such as the Psychedelics Encyclopedia and Flesh of the Gods.

Reading about the traditional use of these substances should make it clear that they were governed by ritual to provide an appropriate structure and context with which to integrate the experience, treating it as a sacred rather than a hedonistic venture. Even people like Timothy Leary expressed the importance of ‘set & setting’.

Leary thought giving acid to the masses would cause everyone to become enlightened beings. However, this was far from the case, with many people not having a suitable constitution and ending up in psychic distress (some permanently). In contrast, Aldous Huxley thought that these substances should be reserved for an elite of artists and thinkers who were capable of integrating the experience and putting it to good use. You may want to borrow Huxley’s classic book The Doors of Perception, which contains his thoughts relating to his use of mescaline. In his utopian novel Island, he also outlines the possible use of such substances as a source of enlightenment and self-knowledge to help raise society to a higher level.

Of course, Huxley is not the only author to write about the use of psychoactive substances. On our shelves you can find classic works such as De Quincey’s Confessions of an English Opium Eater and Baudelaire’s Les Paradis Artificiels, or, my favourite, the late great Hunter S. Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream. William Burroughs is another author who had a life long interest with various substances, notably heroin. While all his works can be seen as being infused with a hallucinatory aura, his works Junkie and The Yage Letters deal directly with some of his experiences. Ironically, they are also his most ‘sober’ works in terms of style. You can also find other material such as Tom Wolfe’s Electric Kool Acid Test; a key text on the LSD fuelled madness of the sixties, Boon’s The Road of Excess: A History of Writers on Drugs, or even relevant films such as Easy Rider.

…of confidence and POWER! On the 11th of May I went to what I think was the first gig at the new Metal venue The New Level. Sadly, with 6ft Under shut, there’s no real metal venues for us to go these days. Axces is cool but there’s nowhere truly metal. However that’s changed now. Found on Newton Road (Kahikatea Extn, Wickham then at the end of Newton), a warehouse type set up is where Metal bands now have a place to play and Metallers now have a place to listen. A very cool stage area, plenty of space to mosh and a VIP area overlooking the stage make it the perfect set up for bands. Sadly the council is being shockingly bureaucratic (SHOCK HORROR) and is generally slowing up the whole process and making it tricky. This has meant that money to set up the bar facility is a little hard to come by, and so the guys are throwing some fundraising gigs to get the cash together to speed up the whole process. So if you want a new metal venue that’s going to last: GO TO THE GIGS PLEASE. They need all the support that they deserve. Pay no attention to the fact that the police force kindly set up a booze bus right on the turn off to Wickham. I kind of knew the way but ended up driving right past it due to this fact, had to turn around and drive back through it a second time. I think it’s a sad fact that instead of helping these guys promote local music, creativity and initiative, local government seems to be making it hard for them. Don’t get me wrong, I can understand it’s a tough job for a cop and I appreciate some of the other work they do – but this I don’t understand. I also don’t understand why my girlfriend was pulled over the other day while driving for “having a suspicious look on your face”. But I digress.

On the 11th May. Salient, Adrenochrome, 8 Ball Rattle and my personal favourite of the night, Carnage, all played in front of a cool crowd. All these bands rock, and people should get out there and support them. If we want stuff like this to happen, and for there to be a place for our motley bunch of Metallers (and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible) then guys like these, and places like this, need our support.

For more gig updates check out: www.myspace.com/the_new_level Stay Bogan \m/

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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COLUMNS

By Jed Laundry I used to hate txting. Its not that I hated the concept of relatively cheap and unobtrusive messaging, its the fact that no one would ever communicate a lick of Queen’s English. Now sure, compressing a few words here and there to get under the 160 character limit is all well and good, but then there are people who refuse to use T9 (although its statistically faster, and I’m a SCMS student, so don’t argue) and instead create their own words using all kinds of funky spelling and interesting shortcuts. It’s truly amazing watching how quickly these people move their thumbs and then witnessing how unintelligible the output can be.

And then, like a wild virus affecting the brains of our most vulnerable youngsters and adults

alike, someone had the smart idea to adapt their normal English ‘skillz’ around the idea of using the same spelling they use for txting.

Chtspk, the bastard of linguistics was born.

I already speak 3 human-interacting languages and I’ve currently moved on to Latin. It’s not all that hard when you think about it - you start by learning vocabulary, then move on to syntax, then grammar, then flair. With chtspk, you get none of these.

Vocabulary changes from person to person, syntax is haphazard at best, grammar doesn’t exist and there aren’t any niceties to provide flair. It’s a language derived from being too lazy to form clear and concise messages.

Now yes, I know I will get mail back after this article (that is, if I was stupid enough to publish my email address as well), but you have to stop and think. It’s somewhat

understandable using this “subset” of English on small devices, but when people start using it in everyday writing and typing, it becomes obvious just how stupid it really is.

And yet the problem is growing. Last year the NCEA allowed students to use chtspk in school exams! Exams, supposed to test our intelligence, blatantly mock us by allowing us to use a language derived from cheap and lazy people! What is the world coming to, before you know it people lacking proper English skills will be running high levels of government.

Its a virus that needs some serious vaccination, and soon before brains get permanently corrupted. Ah well, back to studying Latin. Audio, Video, Disco baby.

scored a try (on debut), converted by Darren Lockyer for the Maroons to steal the match 24-23. Or more recently, Shaun Timmins’ field goal from 35 metres in extra time in Game 1, 2004 to give NSW a 9-8 victory.

By Joseph Ross Top of the sporting pops this week is the annual rugby league grudge match we know as State of Origin. Every year, the Queenslanders take on the New South Welshmen in a three-match series that is as intense as Southern Hemisphere sport gets.

State of Origin started in 1980. Back then, many people were skeptical about the whole Origin concept, with many predicting that it would ‘crash-and-burn’. How wrong they were! Queensland dominated the early years of Origin, with New South Wales not winning a series until 1985. The early Queensland sides had, amongst others, Wally ‘The King’ Lewis, who played 31 Origins for a 19-12 win-loss record and is the bloke considered to be ‘Mr Origin’.

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Since then, both Queensland and New South Wales have won 38 matches each and drawn two. NSW have won 12 series to Queensland’s 11, again with two drawn. (In 1980 and 1981, there were only one-off games, so are not counted as series). If you add up the number of points both teams have scored in all 78 games, you will find that after 27 years of Origin, Queensland are ahead by just 13 (1224-1211). Those statistics emphasise how close State of Origin is and no team has completely dominated its history. Of course, there can no longer be drawn matches and therefore series with unlimited extra time.

Furthermore, there are many moments in Origin folklore that people remember as if they happened yesterday. Who will forget Game 1, 1998, when New South Wales were leading by 23-18 with just seconds on the clock when Queensland’s Tonie Carroll

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

The teams for Wednesday night’s match at Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane have not yet been named as I write this, but a worrying sign for Queensland is the ankle injury Lockyer picked up during the Broncos’ loss to the Cronulla Sharks in the NRL. If any ligament damage occurred, Lockyer will miss at the very least the first game and Queensland would be without their leader (who lifted silverware with the Broncos, Queensland and the Australian test team last year). Halfback Johnathon Thurston and five-eighth Lockyer were the catalysts for Queensland’s victory 2-1 come from behind victory in 2006. For New South Wales, Anthony ‘the Count’ Minichiello looks set to make his return after missing the 2006 series with a serious back injury. If Danny Buderus is given the captaincy of the Blues again in 2007, it will be his fourth consecutive year as skipper.

Game two of this year’s series will be played at Telstra Stadium, Sydney on June 13 and game three will be back at Suncorp on July 4.

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COLUMNS

with vitaminC

Dear Agony What’s the rule about age gaps between lovers? Is there even a rule?

Paul H.

The basic tactic here is to set up your party at one end and then plough your way to the other, slaughtering everything in your path. I’d suggest starting at the end farthest from the Police Station, so that the difficulty slowly increases as you make your way along. Your early opponents will mostly be old drunken men at first, and as you approach some of the restaurants you might come up against the odd waiter or family out to have dinner. These can be dispatched rather easily; basic attacks are fine for the men and women, perhaps you want a Leisure Studies or perhaps an English Major with high agility to focus on taking down the children. Little rewards are to be had here though, mostly you’ll just be picking up money and the occasional gold watch. Move ahead at your own pace.

Up next is the area near the casino, which is mostly populated by very poor or very rich people, as well as a somewhat higher class of restaurant-goer at Le Dome. The important part here is the boy racers. At frequent intervals you can encounter a lowered Skyline, a Supra with NOS stickers on it or – if you are really lucky – a legendary AE86. Anyway, your goal here is to target the wannabe racers before they can escape in a flurry of shitty exhaust and Snoop Dogg beats. Have a Coms student use steal on the car repeatedly while the rest of the party distracts the occupants. By distract I of course mean use various skills like ‘Slam head in door’ and ‘Burn face on exhaust pipe’. Your Coms Thief should be able to obtain a Stereo, Good Stereo, or Phat Stereo from each target, so keep the Phat Stereo for use with your party and sell the rest at the Frankton Bazaar.

Nearer the end of the street you’ll be heading past more of the bars. At this point you want to have your Engineers and Lawyers use ‘Johnny Walker Black’ so that their attacks can keep up with the drunkards at this end of the street.

Don’t bother stealing from them though, your ultimate target here is right at the end – the bouncers at The Bank.

If you are somehow able to hold them off, have your party members attempt to steal from them, and the luckiest among you may find yourself the proud owners of those fancy red shirts they wear, otherwise you’ll probably find yourselves being equipped with ‘Full-body Cast +15’.

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Dear Paul H, As far as I can tell from my youth in Edgecumbe through to my youth in Hamilton, the only rule which remains universal is this: don’t have sex with anyone under 16. Don’t get yourself into a situation where it might be suspected that you are having sex with anyone under 16. Treat people in the sub-16 age group as lepers, unless they’re family members, and stay the hell away from them. If you see someone walking towards you who looks under 16, cross the road and avoid eye contact. This is especially true in Hamilton, where young girls seem to think they’re ready for womanhood as soon as they see their first Christina Aguilera music video. Other than this, age gaps don’t matter to anyone but the people they matter to. At high school, there were always fifth formers dating guys in their mid-twenties. Why? Because those guys had cars with electric windows, wore jeans that were slightly tight and didn’t spend their mornings harvesting the pussy wounds which sprung up over night. This didn’t bother anyone at high school except for the fifth form guys, who were left to run the gauntlet of risky sexual encounters with naive fifth formers. So, my reply is, in short, this: if he/she doesn’t care about the age gap, then neither should you.

Agony Art Dear Agony Art My boyfriend has a beard and I hate it! How can I make him get rid of it?

Rash-Faced Rebecca Dear Rebecca You have to realise some very important things about beards in this day and age. A beard is to a man what head hair is to a woman.

Imagine how you’d feel if your boyfriend suddenly told you he hated your hair and he wanted you to shave your head! And what’s wrong with beards anyway? A lot of powerful and important men have had beards: Moses, Jesus, Noah, Santa Claus, Charles Manson, God, the list is endless. There are times in history when being a man and not having a beard was like being man and not having a penis! I strongly doubt that the slaves would have been freed if Abraham Lincoln didn’t have his well kept and visually stunning beard. Trying to make a man get rid of his beard is like trying to make Harry Potter and Ron Weasly stop being homoerotic. Don’t even try asking him to get rid of it, because you’ll probably be shown the door.

And is a beard really all that bad? It’s like kissing a teddy bear.

Agony Art Email your Agony Art questions to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

Gotcha!

Following up from last week, I’m going to cover some of the rarer item drops, in particular those used for party forming.

One of the better hunting areas, with high level enemies and corresponding high quality drops, is the Vic Street Gauntlet. This is a popular spot for adventurers due to its proximity to the Taverns, as well as the calibre of opponents.

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Kimbra Johnson Kimbra Johnson will be performing outside the banks in the WSU Village Green this Friday from 1-2pm as part of the WSU’s celebration of NZ Music Month. Nexus had a quick chat to Kimbra about what it was like to be a Christian girl on the telly. And also a musician.

never be that way. Faith is a complicated and universal thing and I tend to write more about my struggles with it and ongoing search for truth rather than ‘I Love Jesus’ songs. I want to write honest music that can speak to anyone. So, I’m simply a musician inspired, influenced and challenged by the teachings of Christ. Match that up with a high school crush and it makes for an interesting song.

Nexus: Your single ‘Simply on my Lips’ is getting plenty of airplay on C4 – have you found that radio airplay has followed from this or are the commercial radio stations still a bit slow to pick up the ball?

Kimbra: Because the video came out a little later than the single I was unsure as to whether it would pick up on Radio as well as it has on TV, but its recently been playing really well on The Edge and ZM as a result of the video’s success :)

Who have you been touring and playing with lately?

I toured with Luke Thompson this year playing shows in Auckland, Tauranga, Hamilton and Wellington which was good fun. I also played on the Juice TV Music Month showcase recently alongside The Electric Confectionaires, Miriam Clancy, SJD and heaps more! My 30min set from the showcase is screening on Juice TV on Tuesday May 22nd :)

A lot of your lyrical content seems to be straddling the fence between sounding like a love song and sounding like an ‘I Love Jesus’ song. Would you describe your music as ‘Christian music’ or are you simply a musician who is a Christian?

I write about things that inspire me and God is one amongst my many inspirations. ‘Christian music’ has never been a category I’ve aspired to be put in, I want my music to reach everyone and the label can sometimes sound exlcusive and music should

When it comes to performing live, do you get to play with many other females or are you a lone lady ranger in a sea of smelly boys?

Generally, a sea of testosterone. In fact, in 2004, when I was placed 2nd in the Rockquest Nationals, I was the not just the only soloist, but also the only girl! The boys weren’t smelly though, they were all very talented and generally good looking so no complaints. But I am doing a Wellington schools tour later in July with more recent Rockquest veteran, Moana Ete which shall be much fun.

Time for another Circle Jerk Somebody pass the tissues

One night, one stage, a dozen local performers. It’s Hamilton’s biggest and best celebration of local music, the Hamilton Circle Jerk.

The premise is simple: Hamilton bands play short sets of homegrown songs, their own and each others’. The result is unpredictable, enlightening and often hilarious. Singer-songwriter Mark Tupuhi (St Lucy, Jhana, Schrödinger’s Cat) developed the first event in May 2005, as an antidote and two-fingered gesture to New Zealand Music Month publicity that ignored the existence of Hamiltonian music.

He gathered a group of friends from this city’s tight community of independent music, set them the challenge to learn and perform covers of their favourite Hamiltonian songs, put them together on the last Saturday in May, and the Hamilton Circle Jerk was born.

This year’s Hamilton Circle Jerk has expanded to embrace all flavours of Hamilton music from hardcore to hip-hop, avantgarde to alt-country. Rising stars Kimbra and The Deadly Deaths will play alongside the infamous Mobile Stud Unit and favourite prodigal sons Yokel Ono. What songs they choose to play remains a mystery. There’s only one way to find out: get to Ward Lane on Saturday the 26th of May.

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Win tickets to Dubdoubt!

Dubdoubt come to NZ to celebrate their homecoming/first time tour and the release of their debut album sunshine and scenery.

Dubdoubt have supported the Black Seeds, Cornerstone Roots and dDub and shared the stage with Shapeshifter, Adi Dick, Lupe Fiasco, Fishbone, The Sunshiners + more.

Dubdoubt will be joined on tour by Auckland based reggae band The Midnights who represent live reggae at its raw and exciting best and have had recent awesome performances at the Cuba St Carnival, Orientation events and three years solid at the legendary Soundsplash Raglan Reggae Festival.

With their unique sound and trans-Tasman powers combined, these will be shows you won’t want to miss.

Nexus is giving away two double passes to the Dubdoubt gig at Diggers Back Bar this Friday 25th May at Ward Lane.

Simply email nexus@waikato.ac.nz to enter the draw!

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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Citric Show Pony

Second Hand Planet

Reviewed by Captain Ahab

Reviewed by Captain Ahab

If you caught Lindon Puffin on campus last week, you’ll already know he’s a fantastic performer. What you might not know is how fantastic his album is. Show Pony is 13 tracks of extremely accomplished songwriting with stunning production to match.

Beyond the Breakers is an instantly recognisable tune from the first play, and you will find yourself quietly humming songs from Show Pony days later. Layers of guitars, banjos, organs and synths give this album a striking sonic clarity. The production has a warmth and intimacy to it which places this album firmly in the “indie” bracket. It has a live quality which makes it sound like a good show recorded with great gear, but without the rough edges which this might entail. Show Pony is an extremely accomplished record.

I’m giving this album an unprecedented 5 out of 5 stars. This is unprecedented because I don’t give star ratings. Oh well. It is by far my favourite New Zealand album of the year. You probably won’t see it being peddled at any New Zealand Music Month events, but it will be available in good music stores in the next few weeks.

What if U2 came from the South Island? The result would be Opshop’s latest album. I mean this in the least flattering way possible, although if you think that sounding like U2 or Coldplay is a good thing, you’ll probably love this album, and it will be the best thing to happen to you this year. When atmospheric echoing guitars and space-filling synths meet drawn-out syllables, how could great music not occur? There are some solid songs (the chart-attacking Maybe for example), but the album as a whole is a little overwrought. Second Hand Planet lacks some of the rough-and-ready accessibility of 2004’s You Are Here, resulting in an album which seems aloof and ponderous. That said, I would probably play this album up loud while driving or biking. I think you would need to be in motion in order to overcome the textural monotony which seems to be a defining feature of the Opshop sound. I think my main problem with this album is the formulaic nature of the songs and arrangements. The songs which really stand out are those which deviate from the U2/Coldplay idiom. Frankly, we’ve all heard those bands and, love them or hate them, hearing Opshop treading the same old ground makes it difficult to really engage with this album.

LINDON PUFFIN

Opshop

Edmond

Killadelphia

DIRECTED BY STUART GORDON

LAMB OF GOD

Reviewed by ARTHUR ROBINSON

Reviewed by ARTHUR ROBINSON

David Mamet is one of the most unknown names in Hollywood, but if you make any claim to being a movie buff then you’ve probably seen at least one of his films. I won’t attempt to list his ever growing catalogue of cinematic engagements, but it covers genres including heist films, comedies, political satires and now psychological thrillers. Edmond began life as a stage play and, like many of Mamet’s other plays, has worked it’s way to the silver screen in a most effective and stunning way.

Mamet’s leading man, the brilliant William H. Macy, is the title character in this film and does an amazing job at playing a man who decides one day, with a little help from a decrepit fortune teller, that his life would be better if it were worse. This isn’t as simple as it sounds. I mean, this guy Edmond really has to work at making his life bad.

This film is bleak in a way I haven’t seen since American Psycho, with the fine line between sanity and reality being blurred and disappearing from sight all together at times.

Just when you think you’ve got this film pegged as a black comedy, a horror or whatever, it goes somewhere else, warming your heart and chilling your bones all at once.

Every time I see a DVD of a band, I get bored pretty quickly. Who wants to watch a band sit around talking about how they came up with a riff for the third track on their second album? Or which one of them can drink the most beer/smoke the most pot/peg the most groupies in one sitting? So, with this in mind, I sat down to see what Lamb of God, a band I quite enjoy, had for me on their DVD Killadelphia.

Straight away I knew this disc was a whole new kettle of fish. The sound and visual quality of the live performances were impeccable. I’ve seen my fair share of band DVDs where the band is constantly obscured behind a wall of cheap pyrotechnics and smoke, but this is not true of Lamb of God. It was like being at one of their live shows, that’s how clear the image was. It probably helped that about a month ago I was, but that shouldn’t stop anyone else’s enjoyment of this.

As far as the non-music element goes, it really depends on whether or not you’re into the band. I found it pretty interesting that a bunch of metal heads from Virginia were actually so laid back, seeing they spend a lot of their public life screaming at people like me. I ended up skipping a lot of the behind the scenes stuff, just because this band looks so awesome on stage. This DVD is probably only going to be interesting to someone with an already established interest in the band, or someone who loves to see metal bands perform, even if they’re just performing on your TV. Nexus has a copy of the Lamb of God, Killadelphia Australian Tour Edition CD/DVD to give away! To win, email nexus@waikato. ac.nz and tell us the name of one of Lamb of God’s members.

Hamilton's newest and biggest

CD DVD & Vinyl store 07 839 4435 PHONE

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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REVIEWS

Books His Dark Materials

House of Stone

Reviewed by Hazazel

Reviewed by Brie Jessen

This trilogy is, like so many fantasy novels, considered to be child or teen fiction, but it has been hugely popular with readers of all ages. I read them out of order, and even so, I was utterly hooked, and have already started making my way through some of his other works.

House of Stone spans 32 years in the lives of two very different people, one black, one white. Nigel Hough is a rich white Rhodesian, Aqui is a poor black Zimbabwean; they come from very different backgrounds and cultures, but they share a country.

The unfolding story traces the intertwined lives of these two, against a backdrop of destruction.

PHILIP PULLMAN

CHRISTINA LAMB

The first book, Northern Lights, (called The Golden Compass in the US) introduces us to Lyra, a tomboyish girl growing up in an alternate universe in Oxford. In Lyra’s world, peoples’ souls live outside their bodies in the form of speaking animal companions called dæmons. Her childish conflicts and interests are soon left behind when she is drawn into an adventure with much greater ramifications. The story involves a struggle between the all-powerful church and the mysterious Lord Asriel, but as Lyra is drawn in, so are many other characters and groups such as the nomadic Gyptians and the armoured bears.

In the second book, The Subtle Knife, we meet Will, who inhabits the Oxford of our own world. Will is an introspective boy who worries about his odd mother and his long-missing father. After accidentally killing a man, Will goes on the run and stumbles upon a window into another world. There he meets Lyra, and they find that their quests (hers to discover more about the apparently sentient Dust that clusters around human beings, his to find his father) take them on a journey together.

The third book, The Amber Spyglass, brings the many conflicts of the first two books to a huge climax, with implications for all three worlds that Lyra and Will have travelled. Will and Lyra travel different paths for some of the book, but their bond grows stronger than ever as they struggle towards a destiny they don’t understand.

The characters of all three books are well formed and believable, and the plot (for each book and the trilogy as a whole) hangs together well. The scope of the plot widens with each book, and yet the focus is always on how it affects the characters. His Dark Materials really does have it all – action, intrigue, humour and deep emotion.

The trilogy has been adapted into theatre, and a movie of the first book is already in post-production and due to be released (as ‘The Golden Compass’) in December. The trailer looks great – it will feature stars like Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig. There will also, of course, be a game based on the movie.

Most of Pullman’s works, like this trilogy and the Sally Lockhart novels, are fantasy fiction, but he has also written picture books, contemporary novels, and adapted classic novels into plays. He plans to write another book set after His Dark Materials, and in 2003 published Lyra’s Oxford, as a ‘stepping stone’ between the trilogy and the future book.

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

The author, Christina Lamb, is a foreign affairs correspondent for the British Sunday Times. She has been reporting on the situation in Zimbabwe since 1994 and, despite the ban of British journalists, has made several (illegal) trips back to the country, risking her life in the process. Lamb has won numerous awards for her reporting including Foreign Reporter of the Year in the British Press Awards. Not only that, but she is also the author of three bestselling books, The Africa House, Waiting for Allah and The Sewing Circles of Herat.

Based on first-hand interviews, House of Stone reaches to the heart of the horrifying conflict and depravation of Mugabe’s Zimbabwe. It eloquently paints a terrible picture of the sufferings of a nation under the reign of Mugabe. The book shows the depth to which a man, and with him, a nation, can sink.

However, despite the suffering and hurt inflicted on the country, House of Stone manages to convey a sense of hope, that there is still hope for what can only be described as one of Africa’s most beautiful countries.

I thoroughly enjoyed this book, though perhaps, enjoyed is not the right word. It is certainly a book worth reading and it is a testament to the strength of the people of Zimbabwe and to the courage of the author Christina Lamb. It is a story she risked her life to tell; and it’s a story which needs to be told.

House of Stone is a well written book. Although the subject matter is at times hard to deal with, Lamb does so concisely and clearly, assigning little emotion of her own, rather letting her reporting and the events speak for themselves. It is an incredibly moving book, and definitely worth the read.

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REVIEWS THE

AUTEUR HOUSE INTRODUCTION TO

Film 28 weeks later SKY CITY CINEMAS REVIEW BY JOE CITIZEN This was the most terrifying movie I have ever seen.

I came out of the theatre and gulped big lungfuls of cold air in the car park, noticing every little detail of normality in an attempt to erase from my mind what I had just witnessed. It’s not just the graphic violence that makes it so shocking; it’s also horrifically believable.

No doubt there will be more hardened souls than I out there, but for nearly two hours my heart thumped in my chest so hard I worried about having a heart attack.

A plague has broken out in Britain that causes people to become raging monsters intent only on feeding on human flesh. So far, so schlock, but the first scene made me flinch so instinctively that my hands flew up and I nearly fell off the seat. The action pounded at my senses with all the force of a waking nightmare and it was a relief to recognise the sound of music cut in, because it gave me some sense of cinematic distance.

Even so, the soundtrack is devastating. It is the camera work however that really makes this film, quick brutal editing combined with high shutter speeds and scenes of urban violence executed by ordinary people turned into psychopaths. Call them zombies if you like, but now I know how audiences felt after Alien first screened.

28 weeks later and the last infected person has died off from starvation, leaving behind only empty buildings and millions of rotting bodies. American led NATO forces attempt to repopulate the country with returning holidaymakers, the youngest being a 12-year-old boy and his older sister. Their Dad, who abandoned their Mum to a horrible fate in a moment of fear, meets them at the train station. In the classic horror tradition this is not the end, this is just the beginning.

When the plague breaks out again, the children try to escape as the Americans shoot everybody in an attempt to contain the virus. Watching snipers kill civilians on the streets of London seems peculiarly apt post 9/11, and the audience gets to appreciate the full irony as the army control culture turns inwards upon those it had sought to protect. It seems there are no heroes left anymore.

A tense, psychologically traumatising film, I recommend it to anyone who enjoys horror.

Everyone else, you have been warned.

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Werner Herzog

BY DR RICHARD SWAINSON The other night I spotted Shane Reid, Hamilton’s dwarf arsonist, in the corner of an eatery local to Auteur House. What a shame, I thought, that Werner Herzog is not around to document the antics of own porno-stealing, Indian-voice-inflected, vertically-challenged pyromaniac.

Herzog’s first and perhaps greatest masterpiece is Even Dwarfs Started Small (1970). It is cast with persons Reid’s height or smaller, telling the tale of lunatic midgets who take over their asylum. The consequences are not pretty. A marriage cannot be consummated when a tiny man fails to scale the giddy heights of the conjugal bed. A truck falls down a bottomless pit, never to be seen again. And the whole thing climaxes with the maniacal revving of a motorbike and the insane cackle of a diminutive, wouldbe easy rider whose feet are too short to reach the pedals.

In fiction and documentary alike Herzog is drawn to obssessive characters. His five films with Klaus Kinski typify this most clearly. Aguire: Wrath of God (1972) sees Spanish conquistadors succumbing to nature in the Peruvian Andes, their dreams of El Dorado rendered meaningless, especially in its justly celebrated raft-adrift ending where Kinski literalises a line from “Citizen Kane” and “lords it over the monkeys”.

Rats are the plague animal of choice in Herzog’s atmospheric remake of FW Murnau’s Nosferatu (1979). At one point the vermin overtake the streets of Brenan as the seemingly indifferent bourgeois dine amongst them. Kinski makes an apt Count Dracula, more nuanced and melancholy than Max Schreck if not quite as ugly.

Woyzeck (1978) was made in between the two films, on an altogether smaller scale. An adaptation of a nineteenth century play it sees Klaus as a harassed infantryman who goes mad and kills his wife. But not before he throws a cat out of the window.

Some animals are always hurt in the production of Herzog films.

Human casualties were a consequence of his most infamous production. Fitzcarraldo (1982) is perhaps the only movie whose making-of documentary, Burden of Dreams, is actually better than the film itself. Herzog’s real-life obsession with dragging a steamer across a mountain pass between two Amazonian waterways mirrored that of Kinski’s character in the fiction. Two men died because of it.

Death was always in the air when it came to relations between the director and his bad-boy interpreter. Their’s was a love-hate relationship of the most extreme kind. Werner was sorely tempted to sick the natives onto Klaus during their typically troublesome last collaboration, Cobre Verde (1987). Yet his account of their years together, My Best Fiend (1999), made after Kinski’s death, is perhaps his most moving work.

In more recent times Herzog has lightened up. Incident at Loch Ness (2004) is a mockumentary which sees him deconstruct his own mythology. And Grizzly Man (2005) is a very black comedy, the story of a delusional egotist who richly deserved to be eaten by bears.

All but the dwarf film are available at Auteur House.

We are working on getting that one, too.

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Arts Diary Gig Guide Pottery: On the wheel workshop

Monday

This is a one day workshop making pottery on the wheel which can be used for the future Raku firing extravaganza in Spring. This is a great workshop for those wanting to give it a go without committing to a course. Beginners learn basic skills. Spaces are limited. Saturday 9th Jun from 9am to 4pm. Cost $40. The workshop will be held at the Old School Arts Centre, Stewart St, Raglan. For more info call 07 825 0023

Comedy Convoy hits Hamilton tonight, featuring the stars of the 2007 NZ International Comedy Festival. That’s at Clarence Street theatre for one night only, tickets from www.ticketdirect.co.nz or public libraries.

Hamilton Film Society Film Screening The Hamilton Film Society meets to watch ‘La Prophetie Des Grenouilles/Raining Cats and Frogs’ (France, Director - Jacques Remy Girerd, 2003). The first totally French produced animated feature in over twenty years, a comic, contemporary, global warming aware variation on the story of Noah’s Ark. Tuesday 22 May at 8pm, Victoria Cinema, Victoria St, Hamilton. Full year membership cost $100, one off screenings cost $12. For further details call 07 839 5932

Tuesday Hamilton Film Society meets every Tuesday at Victoria Cinema.

Tonight’s screening is subversive French animation Raining Cats and Frogs. Memberships are available on the night, and entitle you to free entry to a full year of screenings from the joining date, as well as special deals at Victoria Cinema and Auteur House.

Wednesday If you’re looking for something to do during Cultural Hour, baritone David Griffiths presents ‘Masterpieces of English Song’ at the Academy of Performing Arts. All Lunchtime Recital Series events are a gold coin donation.

Thunder: the cool silent auction Come do coffee & check out the eclectic range of original artworks by local artists. Choose your favourite artwork and bid (just like Trade Me without the www). This is a fundraiser for the Brooke Baker for the TOWER New Zealand Youth Choir International tour June 07. Running until 1st June, entry is free. La Commune Café, 244 Victoria St, opposite Rydges Le Grande.

The first NZ Street/ Latin Dance Festival A dance/music event: workshops, competitions, shows, & parties.

Salsa, Samba, Tango, Hip Hop, Modern Jive, and much more.

Friday 1 June – Monday 4 June at the Academy of Performing Arts. Contact Carl Gordon on 07 855 2324 for further details.

One Act Playfest Applications for the One Act Playfest are currently open. The festival is being hosted by Hamilton Playbox Repertory Society in June this year. Entries close on May 31st. Rules and entry details can be found at www.riverlea.org.nz. If you have any questions, please contact Joy Shewan on joyshewan@hotmail.com or 07 824 3743.

Swan Lake: St Petersburg Ballet Theatre Swan Lake by Tchaikovsky is presented by the St Petersburg Ballet Theatre in four scenes over three acts. Based on a libretto by Vladimir Begichev & Vasily Geltser, Swan Lake is fashioned from an ancient German legend, which tells the story of Odette, a princess turned into a swan by an evil sorcerer’s curse. 24-26 July, 7.30pm at the Founders Theatre. For more info go to www.nzballet.org.nz

Photosyntheses: A Natural Progression Hamilton based photographer Bridget Nicholls has an eye for the natural whether it is her unique close ups of local fauna, or a treasured family portrait. In her work Bridget likes to capture the essence of New Zealand’s natural environment. Exhibition runs until Thursday 31st May at the Lilypad Café, 1242 Kaipaki Rd, Cambridge. Entry is free.

If you know of any art events or you are an artist looking for some media exposure for your event, email nexus@waikato.ac.nz.

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Hamilton Public Libraries are getting behind New Zealand Music Month with ‘Soundz Like Hamilton’, featuring free performances in libraries all week. The whole program is online at www.hamiltonlibraries.co.nz. The Reelmen break out the bluegrass at the Central Library in Garden Place, from 7pm.

The original cast of Puppetry Of The Penis show you things you just shouldn’t want to see, tonight at the Clarence Street theatre. Tickets from TicketDirect.

Friday Plenty to see tonight. Catch Te Awamutu’s Equanox at the Central Library from 7:30pm.

Celebrate the return of music venue The Castle, with Radiator, Holy Rollers, Kimbra and Arms Reach ($5 on the door from 8pm).

‘Flaxroots’ reggaeists The Midnights make their first appearance in Hamilton since last year’s Contact FM bash, returning to Digger’s bar tonight with aussie dubsters Dubdoubt.

Chuganaut play a free show at Axces tonight as part of their North Island-only ‘Around The Country’ Tour.

Saturday The Hamilton Circle Jerk at Ward Lane. Celebrate Hamilton music with a dozen local bands playing their own and each others’ songs. It’s a great night out, and only $10. Featuring MC Stormtroopa, Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers, Gawj, Kimbra, The Gills, Rumpus Room, The Deadly Deaths, Ministry of Hypocrisy, Dynamo Go, Yokel Ono, The Shrugs, Mobile Stud Unit and compere Dr Ezy.

Sunday Adelaide’s Stolen Youth play an afternoon show with Brick vs Face, Problems and One Bad Weekend at No Way Out Records. It’s $10 and all-ages.

Got gigs? Email them to petrajane@gmail.com or drop in to Nexus.

ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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Got any funny Busted! pictures of you and your friends out in town or getting totally busted you want to share with us? Send ‘em to nexus@waikato.ac.nz before Thursday 5 PM for the next issue of Nexus.

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ISSUE 11 21 MAY 2007

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