issue 08 2011 by Nexus Magazine

MAY 2ND 2011

HAMILTON CITY MUSIC

MUSIC IN THE TRON It’s New Zealand Music Month again so get out there and see some of these great Hamilton musicians

THUNDERBALLS

This week the awesome power of the Magic 8-Ball lies in the hands of Thunder McCloud

POLITICAL RANT!

Left Vs. Right returns to make you rage with a political debate on vice tax

THAT GIG GUIDE

So you want to see some bands you say? Here is all the infomation you’ll need

It’s that month again!

Wednesday

*excluding tui blonde and during quiz only

TEAMS OF 4 - 8 Thursday

HAMILTON CITY MUSIC Credits: EDITOR: Art Robinson (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) DESIGN: David Nixon (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) ADVERTISING: Tony Arkell (admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz) NEWS EDITOR: James Manning (j.mann@windowslive.com) FILM EDITOR: Richard Swainson (films@nexusmag.co.nz) BOOKS EDITOR: Kevin Pryor (books@nexusmag.co.nz) GAMES EDITORS: Sash Nixon (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors Dirty Old Blair Munro, Shannon Rolfe, Loud American Mackenzie McCarty, Judy’s Sweet Legs, Dr Richard Swainson, Owen “Beef” Hinton”, Honest Matt, Kylie Zinsli, Jess Edmonds-Saunders, Danielle Wall, Mrs. Matthews, Jade Carey, Josh Cooper, Daniel Farrell, Sam & Zane, Esther Coker, Lauren KB, Mandy Suess-Ryan, Rawinia Judson, Caitlin Hayns, Aaron.Letcher, Kate Cogswell, Monique Hamilton, and Campbell “Ultimate Warrior” Weal.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Or at least, we think we are.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. WE THINK THAT THESE LITTLE JOKES AREN’T READ BY ANYONE BUT US. AND THAT PERVY GUY IN MY BIO LAB.

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT: Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton PHONE: 07 838 4653

CREDITS & CONTENTS

MAY 2ND 2011

EDITORIAL

PREZ SEZ

THE MAGIC 8-BALL

7-9

NEWS

SPORTS THOUGHTS

POLICE REPORT

12-13

LETTUCE

14-19

WSU PAGES

20-23

FEATURE - HAMILTON MUSIC

PUZZLES

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY

FOOD

A QUICK ONE-TWO

28-37

COLUMNS AND REVIEWS

GIG GUIDE

THE BUSTED PAGE

FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: editor@nexusmag.co.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

EDITORIAL WITH ART SHITTY REMIXES: NOT MY FUTURE Welcome to New Zealand music month and all of the excellent gigs it holds for you. Hamilton has always had a strong music scene. It has stayed strong through all of the various changes in popular music and I believe wholeheartedly that it will keep being strong. Events like the H-Town Circle Jerk, Soundscape and Hamtown Smackdown all pull big numbers. We have radio stations coming out of just about every frequency available. We may not get big, international bands touring here, but we have had some pretty huge Kiwi acts coming through. Ladi6 and Cornerstone Roots both played at Flow bar in the last few months. We have a bevy of excellent gig spaces: Flow Bar, Altitude and Gravity, the Outback. We’re pretty well stocked with Kiwi music, not just during New Zealand Music Month but all year round. It’s sad, however, when I hear people whinging about there being no good gigs in Hamilton. Believe it or not, if you listen carefully, there are scores of first and second years floating around university, whinning and mumbling that nothing good happens in the Hamilton music scene. Comedians on TV make highly original and witty remarks about how Hamilton is a hole. To a lot of people, Hamilton is just a good place to go to raise a family, grow old and die. It is certainly not the kind of place you go to find a vibrant and successful music scene. And yet, sitting on the edge of the city, we have our university, bursting at the seams with DJs, guitarists and drummers. Every week, Flow hosts a gig (Medicate or Fuck Yeah!: they happen on alternate weeks) and it only costs two dollars. That’s how much it costs to get into the two largest student bars in Hamilton, where all you’ll hear is sub-par remixes of whatever The Edge is playing this week. There’s more to being a DJ than turning up the volume real loud and hoping everyone is too drunk to notice. These people who are complaining about there being no music in Hamilton should have a casual glance at the last pages of this magazine. There are pictures from Snapstar, who almost exclusively take pictures at venues where there are large gigs. There’s a gig guide, compiled by Fevah FM and Contact FM, which is jam-packed with opportunities to go and see major acts (international as well as Kiwi) and maybe even listen to something slightly different. So, when these people with trashy bar stamps (which, by this stage in the year, are practically tattooed on their wrists) start whining and wringing their hands together, claiming that Hamilton has no good music and that there’s nothing going on here, it makes me violently ill.

So, Waikato University students; go and check out Flow, or any of the other small venues around the central city. Just because they don’t have a dangerously high maximum capacity doesn’t mean you won’t have fun. You’ll get entry for around the same price, you’ll get New Zealand music and you’ll be helping New Zealand musicians. It should not be just now, just the month of May that we are supporting our New Zealand artists. They don’t go and hide away, working minimum wage jobs, happily awaiting New Zealand Music Month to come so they can dust off their xylophones and trombones. These people are playing good, original music all the time. They’re playing gigs, sometimes to packed venues, sometimes to empty rooms, but they’re playing them regardless of turn out. These artists, almost all of whom have full time jobs doing “grown up” stuff, need your support, whether it’s a dancehall artist, a dubstep DJ, a rock and roll band, a rockabilly band or a drum and bass/hardcore crossover band. If we don’t support these guys, not just this month but every month to come, we’ll be stuck with the kind of shit that gets pumped out of the radio, bassed up, sped up and vomited all over us in dark, sticky floored “clubs”. Shitty remixes: not my future.

PREZ SEZ University life comes with many freedoms that hadn’t previously been available to many of us. The ability to pursue our own academic areas of interest and keep our own schedules are far removed from the high schools and nine to five jobs we have come from. The problem is that this can insulate our University life and make it possible to close ourselves off to Campus life at large and sometimes good fences don’t make good neighbours. As we move forward as a student body we should be consciously aware that it is our role to give you the opportunity to step outside of your comfort zones and expose yourself to new experiences. One of the ways we do this is to promote Clubs on Campus. The Waikato Students’ Union now has over sixty clubs registered with us that you can join. These clubs cover the spectrum from sports to politics to religion. The new Waikato Students’ Union website launching this week will make clubs a centrepiece so if you have ever wanted to try your hand at speed cubing, debating or kendo there has never been a better time. New Zealand Music Month also gives us the opportunity to open ourselves up to new music. This week in the Nexus they are highlighting local bands and acts that I would encourage you to get out and take a look at. Starting in June the WSU will be taking things a step further by introducing the WSU Has Talent event on the Village Green. Events like this will be a regular occurrence because they highlight the amazing talent and diversification that exists right here. As the website and its capacity grows we will be looking to engage the student body even further by telling your stories, sharing your experiences and exposing the campus to your arts and talents. We would love to see spaces used to publish poetry or creative writing and stream your music and videos. It may take a little while to implement but we firmly believe in the concept that the student experience can be more than attending lectures and getting reasonably priced coffee. We work hard to create events, clubs and showcases for you and we intend to keep doing it wherever the opportunities exist.

Deni Tokunai WSU President 027 5734241 president@wsu.org.nz

MAGIC 8-BALL This week, a wild Magic 8 Ball appears. Nexus uses Editorial Control. It has no effect. Does my tutor like me? Signs point to no As much energy as you put into trying to sound intelligent, acting aloof, and buying him/her coffees. He or she would actually prefer it if you just listen in class, correctly APA referenced, and stopped talking to them in Momento. Am I going to be able to get a job when I graduate? No You’re fucked. Will my letter to Lettuce be the end to the flame war? Very Doubtful Your letter is actually no more educated or exemplary of rhetoric than anyone elses’, in fact if anything – it would be cooler if you started a new flame war about something other than Skybeard, Studylink, or politics.

get a team together, get active, and get into...

Will people do something about this piracy legislation? Signs point to No People believe that joining a group on Facebook actually does something, our generation is far too apathetic to ever do anything about society again. You will go to prison for listening to music on Youtube.

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social sport INDOOR

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Should there be moar boobies in Nexus? Yes I have no idea where the fuck they have gone this year, but I for one am un-amused. Will Hamilton become more exciting? Reply hazy, ask again later. Either leave, or stop bitching – you’re thoughts are neither innovative nor shocking, and to be fair, no one gives a shit what you think (not even the cute boy in MSYS215). Is the girl from down the hall actually keen – or is she just using me for my 1337 skills. Signs point to No She is still holding onto the idea that she will meet a hunky boy, who is, rich, funny, and athletic who will be the prince to her princess. Unfortunately it will take her five years to realize that these guys are really only interested in popping first years’ stone fruit then gapping it. The girl down the hall will continue to emphasize the word ‘friend’ when talking about relationship, but only talk to you in that cute voice when her comp won’t boot. 0wnd.

NEWS BEST ROWERS EVA!

BY JIMMIFER MANNISTON

The Waikato University Rowing Club won the Hebberly Shield at the recent 2011 NZU Rowing Championships, the first time Waikato’s won in its 18 years of competition.

Auckland, AUT, Waikato, Victoria, Massey, Lincoln and Otago raced in the daylong event. All but AUT and Massey participated in the Super Eight Championship race.

Held on the 23rd of April at Lake Karapiro as part of the, the Men’s Championship Eight Crew bet multiple Otago, Victoria, Auckland and Lincoln Universities to take out the grand Hebberly Shield. They finished with a time of 9:50.30.

Glenn spoke of the atmosphere between the competing crews as very friendly, and that after all the hard training and long day of racing, the only thing left to do was celebrate.

Matthew Glenn, member of the Eight Crew, said the WURC was “stoked” that their hard work had paid off.

“It’s always a good positive attitude. At the Cambridge Tavern everyone was just getting drunk, it was awesome. The only downside was that due to Easter, it closed at midnight.”

“We trained as much as we could, and we went out there, gave it hell, won it by 17 seconds and destroyed Otago.”

The Waikato University Rowing Club Super Eight Crew was, from bow to stroke, Chris Morrison, Matthew Glenn, Andrew Myers,

Otago filled the second and third places, with Auckland, Lincoln and Victoria making the rest.

Logan Rodgers, Will Meats, Giacomo Thomas, Finian Scott and Shaun Kirkham, while Lindsay McCowan coxed and Mike Gilbert coached.

The race took place as the first of the day at 7.45am. For such an early start, Matt affirms us that it was no problem, and set a great standard for the remainder of the long day. “Everyone just wanted to win it so badly. We had to go through two sets of weed buoys, and then around a corner and then just a home straight for 2k’s. We had no problems, but Otago hit the weed buoys”, he says with a cheeky smirk.

The WURC placed 4th overall with 2 gold (Men’s Championship Eight, Men’s Championship Single), 2 silver (Men’s Championship Coxed Four, Men’s Novice Eight), and 3 bronze medals (Men’s Novice Coxed Four, Women’s Novice Eight Bronze, Woman’s Intermediate Quad).

The Hebberley has been raced for since 1928 and is New Zealand’s oldest university sporting trophy. It weighs 17.2kgs. Glenn, a Waikato University Science student who is now into his 10th year of rowing, describes the moment they crossed the finish line as “fucking awesome”. However, he does admit to having some worries about his Otago competitors. “Three years ago they (Otago) passed us with about a K to go, and that’s what I was so worried about. Until last year they had won it 9 years in a row, and they were always the favourites.”

NEWS BY-ELECTION? CO-OPT? EMPTY? Waikato Students’ Union executive member Holly Hudson has begun the process of resigning from her position Mrs Hudson, a member of the Waikato Students’ Union’s board, has failed to uphold her duties as a director, having been absent without explanation from two consecutive board meetings. Mrs Hudson, nee Neilsen, gained enough votes in the 2010 WSU elections to gain a seat on the WSU board for 2011. Mrs Hudson attended the first meeting in person and the second board meeting by phone. She failed to attend or pass forward apologies for the third and fourth meetings of the board. Section 18 of the WSU Constitution states that the “position held by any member of the Board shall be deemed to be vacated… If the member fails to attend two consecutive meetings of the Board without formal apology, unless the member obtains from the Board leave of absence in respect of any of such meetings or in respect of any period of time during which any or such meetings are held” Deni Tokunai, president of the Waikato Students’ Union, stated that he had already received a verbal resignation from Mrs Hudson when the consecutive absences took place. “All we’re

BY THE WAIKATO FIST waiting on now is the formality of a written resignation”, Mr Tokunai told Nexus. Attempts over the past fortnight to get a written resignation, made by Mr Tokunai among others, have not succeeded. “Daniel Morales is planning on travelling to Auckland, where Mrs Hudson lives, in the near future to attain the written resignation”, Mr Tokunai said. Nexus has also been informed by sources close to Mrs Hudson that she did not pass enough papers in 2010 to be accepted as a student for the 2011 academic year. Section 18 of the WSU Constitution also states that a position on the board will be deemed vacant “If the member ceases to be a member of the Association”. Only students currently enrolled at the University of Waikato can be members of the student union. Attempts to contact Mrs Hudson were not immediately returned, despite Mrs Hudson updating her facebook profile with close to one hundred photos. When a seat is vacated, the constitution gives the board three options: they can leave the seat vacant, hold a by-election, or coopt a student onto the board. The board will make their decision in the next fortnight.

NEWS BANANAS: SEXIER THAN PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED. Former Waikato University student Janine Betts beat eight other contestants to claim the top spot at the Miss Burlesque New Zealand competition, which was held at the Wellington International Hotel. Miss Betts, who performs under the stage name Miss Bettsy Rose Lee, dressed as a banana, and stripped off to Day-O (the Banana Boat Song). When she emerged from the bright yellow costume she was dressed as Carmen Miranda – a Brazilian born Hollywood movie star from the 40s – and finished off her act to Little Richie’s classic Tutti Fruitti. Burlesque is a literary, dramatic or musical work intended to cause laughter by caricaturing the manner or spirit of serious works, or by ludicrous treatment of their subjects. Practicing burlesque for “only about 10 months”, Betts said she knew many girls would take the neo-burlesque Pussycat Dolls side, while she wanted to go back to the roots of it by incorporating humour in her performance.

But I was not cheating! Mei has been accused of using other people’s work in an assignment and has been ordered to appear before the University Discipline Committee. What can she do?

BY JIM

“I knew most of the girls were going to choose the glamorous side so I wanted to use comedy.” She said she was inspired by the 1940s, 1950s, and 1960s and looked to starlets such as Marilyn Monroe for elements to incorporate in her acts. This obsession with classical cinema and entertainment can be credited to her early age love of theatre, a passion that followed her through to Waikato University, where she majored in Theatre Studies. A former Hillary Scholar, she spent 11 years doing ballet but had been told as a child that she was too heavy to become a ballerina. She also has experience in Irish, Tap, Jazz and Rock n Roll dancing. “A lot of the women I was up against were young, slender, beautiful girls and I was absolutely blown away to be named as the winner.” She said that performing against disturbingly slender girls was quite nerve-racking, but was confident in her routine. And while Miss Betts said she loved performing burlesque, she was adamant she would not compete in next year’s competition, which would be held in Hamilton. “I’m just happy winning it once. There are a couple of girls that I teach that I’d like to see enter next year’s competition.” She encourages anyone interested in burlesque to attend her Beginner and Intermediate Burlesque classes she gives at the Melville Hall. Details can be found at burlesquedivas.net.

Mei has been suspected of plagiarism (the wrongful use of another author’s language thoughts, ideas, or expressions and the representation of them as one’s own original work). She is able to take a support person to the Disciplinary hearing. If Mei is found guilty she could lose credit for the paper, or for more of her course. If the plagiarism is repeated she could be expelled from the university. Please read your information on plagiarism carefully!! The Hamilton Area Citizens Advice Bureau provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am-4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Tues-Thurs 1-3pm). They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialised help. Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

SPORTS THOUGHTS

WITH C-BALL

HENARE WITH AN OXYGEN BALL FROM DOWNTOWN The day the Breakers won the ANBL finals series within two successive games was awesome. Unfortunately, that didn’t actually happen because, like all New Zealand teams, the Breakers had to fuck up their second game after winning the first, leaving fans agonising upon a third game decider. What is worse is that I planned to be writing Sports Thoughts on the first New Zealand team to ever win a major Australian sports competition. Deadlines are a cruel son of a bitch though, so instead, I’ll write about the next best thing – Uncle Paulie Henare (to be honest it was actually the only other thing I could think of). Henare is currently playing in his last year of professional basketball, and like Cinderella (but better because it involves a man and it is real life), in his final year Henare and the Breakers stand within one game of their maiden ANBL title. It doesn’t take a basketball genius to work out that Henare isn’t what he once was, and when he was what he once was, he wasn’t all that good. But Henare is something special nonetheless. He was in the Tall Blacks team that romped to fourth place in the World Champs back in 2002, and he has been with the Breakers since they first came into the ANBL. That is to say he is a founding member of the team, one that has like all New Zealand teams trying to foot it in an Australian sports competition struggled to

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stamp a foot onto some Australian nutsack with authority. Henare has been with the Breakers right from the start, taking the crappy lower half of the table finishes in his stride. He has been there for the bullshit officiating New Zealand teams undeniably receive, and he’s even been there to witness the occasion we all know and love – free burgers, that boner inducing moment when the Breakers at home lay down 100 on the boards and bitches cop snacks on snacks, or in other words, free whoppers. Henare has seen it and he has been a part of it. Free burgers. Such glorious moments are few and far between, only being rivalled by that time I got a tactical nuke in Modern Warfare 2, and watching Deadmau5 play Strobe live while musically coming all over everyone’s’ faces. Only time that’s going to be acceptable. I wish I could say lovely things about Henare, like that he could dunk a fat bitch through a pin hole if he wanted to, but I’d be lying. His favourite shot was probably the oxygen ball. However Henare has been a long serving, tireless nugget for the Breakers and Tall Blacks. He’s missed plenty of shots, but he has kept trying the audacious and is never one to shy away from an entertaining three attempt. Much like Sam Harris in Backyard Cricket, it isn’t always about skill and performance, but their presence that counts. And in his last year of professional basketball, in some John Cusack sentimental bullshit film way, he might just be the Breakers’ inspiration to reach the heights no other New Zealand club team has, and win a maiden Australian title. I hope that when this is printed the Breakers have won the third game and taken out the title. There would be no better way for such an entertaining and likeable player that New Zealand has in Henare to finish off his career. If they don’t manage to win – well I’ll take solace in the fact that I watch the Warriors religiously and I’ve experienced my fair share of being let down. It would be pretty sweet though if the Breakers win, or have won by the time this is read. Even more so if Henare’s number 32 is retired. That would be a nice touch. Maybe Henare will drain a three from downtown in the final game with split seconds on the shot clock to take the score to 100 for free snacks on snacks for the crowd. It could happen.

HAMILTON EAST POLICE REPORT

1ST - 11TH APRIL 2011

WITH CONSTABLE NICK SICKELMORE

In the last fortnight there were 16 burglaries that occurred in the urban & rural areas of Hamilton East. As shown on the map there is a cluster of burglaries located around the area of Masters Avenue, Aurora Terrace and Carrington Avenue, Hillcrest close to the vicinity of the University.

As a minimum precaution Police recommend recording the serial numbers of valuable items and storing that data somewhere safeother than on your laptop.

QUESTION FROM THE POLICE:

Circumstances to the burglary: The victim returned home to find that someone had gained entry via the bathroom window, by using a chair wedged up against the outside wall.

How often do you just pop out to get something, thinking to yourself, “it will be O.K, I’m only gone for 5 minutes”?

They believe that the offender(s) are watching their house and know when they are coming & going, as a family member is at home during the day.

If you have any information that might help Police resolve burglaries, please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore on 8582792 or e-mail nsj639@police.govt.nz

There have also been other reports to Police, where offender(s) are also gaining entry into flats / homes via small windows. Please be aware that however small a window is, if there is an opportunity for the offender(s) to get in, they will. All kinds of individuals are walking around during the day, looking for every opportunity to invite themselves into your flat. Home security advice is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St.

Lettuce Write to Win! SEND LETTERS TO: Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

WEEKLY PRIZE: This week there is a prize! Brett from UniMart is kindly offering a $20 voucher to the writter of our letter of the week. Come to the Nexus office in the Student Union Building to collect your prize!

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Word count is limited to 250 words and we will enforce this as we please. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be). Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

NZUSA Membership Questioned To the WSU, Could you please give a detailed explanation of why the WSU is still a member of NZUSA? From what I can tell the majority of major members, excluding Waikato, Victoria, and Lincoln, have withdrawn from the union. Such large quantities of members do not withdraw support for no reason, so I have to ask the question: What does NZUSA do for Waikato students? I understand the usual spiel about student representation and fighting for our rights, but really, cut the bull shit. Currently we pour a significant portion of our annual budget into this organization, but do we get value for money? With the introduction of VSM the world of student politics has changed. There is no longer a guaranteed stream of income each year. You need to deliver value for money to your members, and cut the waste. Should membership of NZUSA be some of the waste we cut?

while we could effectively ‘free-ride’ and gain these benefits from not being a member of the organisation, being part of NZUSA allows WSU to have a voice in the direction of where the organisation is heading. In terms of membership, NZUSA’s constitution previously required a full year of notice (and therefore payment of levies) to withdraw, resulting in many members putting in their withdrawal notice in advance of VSM entering into force in 2012. WSU has not yet withdrawn as our finances would allow for at least one more year of remaining a member of NZUSA. Furthermore, a recent constitutional change means that NZUSA members now only need to give 10 days’ notice to withdraw from the organisation, which allows us to make the decision in early 2012, when we have more knowledge about how we are sitting in terms of funding.

The WSU Responds: Hi Aaron,

In the meantime, however, we need to consider whether NZUSA is indeed valuable. My challenge to all Waikato students is to consider Aaron’s question: should membership of NZUSA be something that we keep under VSM? Do you think paying around $5 per student to be a member of a national student body that lobbies the government for better student policies is worthwhile? Or is this simply a waste? Write into lettuce to share your views, or email me at vp@ wsu.org.nz.

In response to your question, I have written up a detailed article describing the major national

Charlie Gillard WSU Vice-President

Aaron Come pick up your $20 UniMart voucher at the Nexus office in the WSU Building.

organizations that WSU belongs to. Check out pages 16-17 to see this. Whether or not to belong to NZUSA is a contentious issue. On the one hand, the organisation is useful as a lobby group in that it has managed to get some good policy gains for students such as interest free student loans and greater access to student allowances. However, membership at $50 000 per year is quite a bit of money. Our current view is that

Car Parks Inspire Rage Dear people that piss me off After reading the Nexus for the last two weeks now I have constantly heard the complaints about the car parking and now I am going to put my ten cents worth in. The people who always have to complain about parking well I’ve got an idea for you!! Why don’t you bloody get a flat

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A

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that’s walking distance from uni like every other student located in Hamilton. Well simply the money that you pay for gas like coming all the way from Morrisville will cost about the same in rent. And by the way the person in last week’s Nexus they are not YOUR PARKS they are everyone’s the smart people who get there first not the LAZY SHITS as you state!!. AND WHY FK ARE YOU DRIVEN FROM MORRINSVILLE IF YOU ARE SO CONCERNED WITH THE OZONE LAYER DONT YOU THINK YOU WOULD SAVE IT MORE IF YOU FLATTED. P.S stop complaining to the nexus we don’t wont to hear about your shit that isn’t worth reading about go talk to the council or something and we don’t care simple. Sincerely, Annoyed student

A Warning From A Student To my fellow Nexus readers Do not smoke any of the “fake weed” mentioned in a recent Nexus feature article. It is NOT a good time! It is too new to be thoroughly tested and on the verge of being banned, just like BZP was before it. How much longer before we start to hear stories of severe episodes of paranoia and heart attacks, along with the usual, more long term effects of Alzheimer’s or dementia? I warn you: don’t even try this stuff. We simply don’t know enough about it!

If you are one of these people, here is a quick message. Fuck you. I go out every weekend and I have the best time. Or at least that’s what people tell me the next morning... The thing is, we are only young once. Once. Not twice, once. When I am old and gray I want to look back on this time and think, “You know what I fucked up a lot when I was young, but what a wild time.” What are the people who sit at home judging me going to look back on? Their level 70 Warlock on World of Warcraft. Next time you are thinking of judging me for having a good time, think about all the friends, stories and memories I will make while you sit at home writing fan-fiction. Alan Garner

Hate Everyone: It’s Easier Dear Nexus. I am writing in support of last week’s hate-filled rant against white people, men, Sehai Orgad, Israel and just about everything not ugly dyke.

Paddy Finch

I too support the freedom of Palestine. Like the angry lesbian, I also have a friend named Mohammed who lost family in the conflict over

Alcoholic UnAnonymous

there. His father was firing rockets at Israeli schools, so the Israelis shot him. I think that is disgusting.

Dear Nexus. I don’t know if it’s just me, but I seem to know a great many people who have a colossal stick up their ass when it comes to getting drunk. I think we all know at least one person that holds the view that alcohol is the Devil’s liquid and should not be touched.

I know another Palestinian - also called Mohammed - who had half his face blown off while on that boat that was bringing aid/ weapons for Hamas in Gaza. He is now very sad about it, which makes me sad.

Finally, on the subject of the hijab, I am upset to hear people making mean comments about it. I know a Muslim girl, also called Mohammed, who wears one, and is constantly harassed because of it. It is not on, people. :( We must all learn to live in harmony, sing songs, and generally be good little liberal douchebags. If we can do this, then maybe - just maybe - we can finally destroy that Jewish abomination, Israel. Lots of love, Trolls McGee

Poppies For Our War Dead To Nexus (and everyone else), Seeing as we just had ANZAC day, I just wanted to tell you about a not-for-profit memorial initiative by the Archivist of the Waiouru National Army Museum, Dolores Ho. She is in the process of placing a hand-made flax cross (which includes a poppy) on the grave of every New Zealand soldier buried overseas (there are about 30,000 of them). She has done so for several thousand fallen soldiers already (since beginning in 2008), and is currently visiting Britain, France and Belgium placing more crosses. Because she makes all the crosses herself, and each requires a red poppy, she desperately needs poppies to attach to the crosses. So if anyone has a poppy from ANZAC day it would be great if you could chuck it in the box in the library foyer, to be sent to the Dolores Cross Project and placed on the grave of one of NZs fallen heroes. Cheers, A Grateful New Zealander

WSU PRESENTS

DO YOU HAVE TALENTS THAT YOU WANT TO SHARE WITH THE WORLD?

THEN ENTER THE WSU TALENT QUEST! AN EVENT TO SHOWCASE THE HIDDEN (AND NOT SO HIDDEN) TALENTS OF WAIKATO UNIVERSITY STUDENTS

WEDNESDAY JUNE 1 1-2PM VILLAGE GREEN

CAN YOU SING? DANCE? PLAY MUSIC? TELL JOKES? BALANCE TEN SPOONS ON YOUR NOSE? WE ARE LOOKING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE KEEN TO GET UP ON STAGE AND SHOW OFF THEIR TALENTS TO ENTERTAIN THE STUDENT BODY FREE CAKE FOR ALL ENTRANTS AND EPIC PRIZES TO BE WON SO ENTER TODAY! EMAIL PRISCILLA@WSU.ORG.NZ TO BE IN TO WIN BOTH INDIVIDUALS AND GROUPS ARE WELCOME TO ENTER.

VP SPEAK

WITH CHARLIE

ENGAGING WITH YOUR WAIKATO STUDENTS’ UNION Communicating with members is one of the most important things that an incorporated society needs to do. Without ongoing contact with members, a member-driven organisation like the WSU faces the risk of losing its legitimacy and reason for existence. As a member-driven organisation, the WSU is understandably always trying to improve its transparency to and communication with its members. Most of the time we get things right. However, at times there are opportunities and ways in which the organisation can improve communication and engagement with students. Part of this, however, is that the WSU sometimes has difficulty in engaging with members due to a lack of awareness about the many ways in which students can be involved in WSU decision-making: something which I intend to overview a bit this week. For instance, while the WSU does have annual elections, how many of you actually voted in last year’s election? Similarly, how many people came to the WSU Annual General Meeting (AGM) last year, where the WSU budget was passed? After all, students’ associations such as the WSU are democratic organiastions: any student was welcome to come to the AGM when the budget was being discussed, make their point known, and vote accordingly. Similarly, under the WSU constitution, students are able to seek redress by way of an SGM if they feel that the Board is not performing. If you are interested in any WSU constitutional matter, then do come in to the WSU and see me: I’m happy to go through the Constitution with you and even provide you with a copy if you would like one. Furthermore, in terms of interaction, how many of you knew that you can attend any board meeting of the WSU and find out what the WSU Board has been up to? Similarly, did you know that if you have a question for the Board, you can write a letter to the Board for them to reply to in Board meeting? If you want to do this, please send me an email at vp@wsu.org.nz and I will even help you write it if you like. After all, the WSU Board is the main way in which students are connected with the WSU as an organisation: if you want

to find out what is going on, come and ask a WSU Board member such as myself! Perhaps the key way in which you can be involved in the WSU, however, is to participate in our consultation sessions. These usually occur in early-middle B Semester, in the lead up to the AGM and the WSU’s Budget planning. Our consultation sessions are perhaps the easiest way for you to come along and have a chat to us about what the WSU has been up to this year, and share your views on what you would like the organisation to look like over the coming 12 months. If you’re keen to be involved in these, then send me an email and I’ll add to the list of people who would like to be part of this important activity.

Charlie Gillard Vice-President Waikato Students’ Union 027 4670276 vp@wsu.org.nz

However, I realize that a lot of the above measures may not be so useful for those of you who aren’t on campus too often. A major criticism I have always had of the WSU, therefore, was that as an organization, our website hasn’t really been up to scratch: a view that I know many fellow students (and even our new Communications Manager) have echoed. However, all of this looks to be a thing of the past. Last year’s WSU Board made it clear that the WSU website really needed an overhaul, and as I write this, the WSU is in the final stages of creating its brand new website, complete with information about the Board, about the WSU services we have been highlighting in Nexus, where to find official WSU Documents (such as the

don’t come on campus all that often. My view is that an effective website that you guys want to visit will go a long way in improving the communication and transparency of the WSU to members. You can see a pretty screenshot of the upcoming website to the right: more details on this next week!

Constitution, Budget, Board Meeting Agendas and so forth), information about WSU staff and so on. When the website is launched, do go and have a look: its content stems not just from what we as an organisation wanted to showcase on our website, but also from what you as students have told us through consultation what you want to see on a WSU website. If you have some ideas on what you would like to see, then (again) please do come in for a chat with me as I would love to hear your views: send me an email at vp@wsu.org.nz to make a date!

(whether positive or negative) where you wanted information from the WSU and came and asked for it, I’d love to know what you thought about the process: was it easy to obtain? Difficult? A walk in the park? And more important, how could it be improved? Do come and see me if you have an opinion: I’d love to hear from you!

Of course, like always, I am especially interested in what you think. If you have views on how the WSU can increase both its communication with and transparency and accountability to students, then come and have a chat with me: I’d love to know what you think. Similarly, I think that there is huge potential for the WSU to learn from its past actions: if you have an experience

After all, it’s your organisation, so come and be involved and informed any way you can!

The website should make it a lot easier for the WSU and students to interact more effectively, and especially so for students who

WSU SERVICE SPOTLIGHT:

MEMBERSHIP OF NATIONAL ORGANISATIONS

In the first half of this semester, this page has been used to highlight the four major services that the WSU provides: representation, advocacy, support for clubs, and Nexus. We’ve also had a quick look at what you can get up to at the WSU reception. This week, we’re going to have a look at a key way in which your student union levy gets spent: on membership of national organizations. As you may remember from way back in week one, the WSU spends approximately $9 per student to be a member of several national organizations, including the New Zealand Union of Students’ Associations (NZUSA), University Sport New Zealand (USNZ), Te

the collective interest of all students to Government, the public and the rest of the tertiary sector. NZUSA has two elected Co-Presidents and a National Women’s Rights Officer, who are all directed by students’ association to try and make certain policies occur. These policies are set by students’ associations (including the WSU) at the NZUSA conferences held throughout the year. Essentially, policy motions are proposed during the plenary sessions of each conference, and each students’ association votes on whether or not they agree with NZUSA adopting that policy. Each policy motion requires a 2/3 majority to be adopted.

Mana Akonga (TMA) and Student Job Search (SJS). This week, we’re going to take a quick look at each of these organizations, what they cost to join, and how membership of them is useful for us all as University of Waikato students.

Based on its size, WSU is entitled to 9 of the total 86 votes during these plenary sessions.

NZUSA: www.students.org.nz The New Zealand Union of Students’ Association is a federation of 13 University and Polytechnic students’ associations from across New Zealand. The WSU is an active member of NZUSA and pays a levy to belong each year based on the number of equivalent full time students studying at Waikato. WSU pays around $5 per equivalent full-time student to belong to NZUSA, which equates to a total levy of around $55 000 for 2011. NZUSA was formed in 1929 and since then has strived to represent

NZUSA’s main role is that of a lobby organisation: they provide a national voice for tertiary students and lobby the government to get better policies for students. These include things like interest-free student loans, and an ongoing campaign for a universal student allowance. NZUSA also organise campaigns, provide education networking opportunities for students’ associations, talk to the media and undertake research in order to promote a better quality education for all services. NZUSA also employs a full-time research officer to conduct research on student issues. NZUSA recently visited the Waikato campus as part of its national campus tour, where the NZUSA Co-Presidents and Women’s Rights Officer (plus the Te Mana Akonga Tumuaki) visit each of the member associations’ campuses. However, a major question that WSU will have to consider this year is whether membership of NZUSA is worth the amount of money that we put into the organisation, and whether this is a ‘core service’ that the WSU should continue to provide under VSM.

Te Mana Akonga Te Mana Akonga (TMA) is the national Māori Student Body (Roopu) and advocates on behalf of Roopu from University campuses around the country. TMA is headed by a Tumuaki, or President. WSU pays around $3000 per year to belong to TMA. Te Mana Akonga is the National Māori Tertiary Student Body (Roopu). Arising out of the Māori protest movements of the 1970s and emerging from the national Māori student collective Ngâ Toki o Aotearoa, they became an Incorporated Society in 1995 and took the name Te Mana Akonga. For the next 9 years Te Mana Akonga represented the interests of Māori Student Roopu at Universities. In 2004, the korowai of Te Mana Akonga also came to embrace Māori students studying at Polytechnics and Colleges of Education and their interests. Te Mana Akonga has a staff member based in Wellington who assists the national student executive body (NZUSA) and provides a voice for Māori students. Essentially, Te Mana Akonga provides a point of contact for the discussion of all policy that will ultimately affect Māori students. They also run Te Huinga Tauira, which is a national conference for Māori students. To do all of this, TMA works in an equal, Treaty of Waitangi-based partnership with NZUSA.

Champs and the prestigious Uni Blues Awards.

Student Job Search: http://www.sjs.co.nz/ Established in 1982, Student Job Search (SJS) is a free employment service with 28 years experience at bringing employers and students together. Their vision is to improve the lives of all New Zealanders by supporting tertiary students to develop the skill and will to drive New Zealand’s economic, political and social prosperity). The majority of SJS’s funding comes from StudyLink (Ministry of Social Development), with support from Student Associations across the country. Currently, this means that WSU pays around $10 000 per year to be a member of SJS, and to allow Waikato students (as WSU members) free access to SJS’s services.

University Sport New Zealand: http://www.universitysport.org.nz/ University Sport New Zealand (USNZ) is the only National Sporting Organisation for tertiary sport in New Zealand. Working closely with its member Students’ Associations and other National Sporting Organisations, USNZ operates National and International inter-university sporting competitions, including the annual Uni Games, Uni Snow Games, Uni Rowing

USNZ is the sole sanctioning body for New Zealand teams attending FISU (International University Sports Federation) events including the World University Games, The World Winter University Games and the various sporting World University Championships. The WSU pays around $20 000 per year to be a member of University Sport New Zealand.

arrival of voluntary student membership. If VSM does reduce the amount of funds available that WSU has to spend on providing services to students, the organisation will have to carefully consider how it can best use the remaining funds available. In fact, several other students’ associations

Aotearoa Student Press Association The Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA) is a network of student newspapers from around New Zealand. ASPA serves to bring student papers together, to improve communication between them, and to aid the sharing of ideas, writing and illustrations. ASPA also has a newswire, which allows for student newspaper reporters to share relevant stories and information around the country. As a student paper / magazine, Nexus is a member of ASPA. ASPA’s principal aim is to entertain students and to inform them about issues that affect all students nationwide, promoting awareness of and involvement in these issues, and building solidarity among students. Student media has always provided an alternative view to that offered by the mainstream media, and ASPA aims to promote this challenging of accepted ideas at a national level. It also strengthens student papers in their fight for freedom of speech and freedom from political interference. ASPA intends to hold at least one conference this year and also organises the annual ASPA Awards, which happen around October. Membership under VSM A key question that WSU needs to consider this year is whether to stay a member of all of these organisations given the impending

have already given notice that they intend to withdraw from national organisations such as NZUSA and USNZ. WSU has not yet given this notice, and is currently assessing the landscape to see what opportunities and challenges await us as an organisation during 2012. This has already proven somewhat beneficial: for instance, NZUSA traditionally requires 12 months of notice (and therefore payment of levies) if a students’ association wishes to withdraw from the organisation. However, a recent constitutional change has meant that in early 2012 students’ associations are only required to give 10 days of notice if they wish to withdraw from NZUSA. WSU believes that given this, it is better to remain a member of NZUSA and continue to have a voice in shaping how NZUSA will exist in a voluntary environment, with the option to leave in February 2012 if there are no funds available to remain a member of the organisation. In the end though, we are a student-driven organisation, and therefore want to know what you think. Which services would you prefer be seen as essential of your Waikato Students’ Union, and which services are ‘nice to haves’? Given that our total levies to these organisations total around $80 000, do you think that you get value from belonging to these organisations, or this money be spent in other ways under a voluntary environment? If you have an opinion on this matter, feel free to come in and have a chat with WSU Vice-President, Charlie Gillard: send me an email at vp@wsu.org.nz to set up a time to chat: I’d love to hear what you think! 17

CLUB CORNER: PICTURE LOG

GOLDEN KEY

Golden Key is the world’s premier collegiate honor society, recognizing outstanding academic achievement and connecting highachieving individuals locally, regionally & globally with lifetime opportunity, reward & success. There are 360 chapters worldwide and 2 in New Zealand: one at Canterbury University, and one here at Waikato. We are an affiliated club with the WSU and are a member of the Asia-Pacific Golden Key Regional Organisation. Golden Key is also supported by our very own Vice Chancellor, Professor Roy Crawford. Every year the top 15% of university students are invited to join Golden Key. Invites have just been sent out, so check your mailboxes if you think you might have something coming to you. The induction ceremony for new members will happen on the 26th of May at the Performing Arts Theatre, so make sure you come along if you accept the invitation to join.

We also participate in a large range of community service activities, including Daffodil Day, Anzac Day, and environmental efforts such as tree planting. We are also keen to get involved with the Hamilton Refugee Orientation Centre. So if you’ve ever thought: “I’d like to do some community service stuff, but don’t know where to start”, we are the people to see! If this all sounds good to you, then join Golden Key when your membership invite arrives in the post. Similarly, if you’re a member of Golden Key already, and want to get more involved in what we do, then email Kevin at waikato.golden.key@gmail.com. We hope to hear from you soon!

DIRECTOR INTRO: PRISCILLA NGATAI

Email: priscilla@wsu.org.nz Portfolio: Arts and Culture Studying: Bachelor of Management Studies Hi everyone, I’m Priscilla: your WSU Director for Arts & Culture and Adult Learners for 2011. I am a mature student with a husband and family, and I love listening to music especially jazz, dancing with Danny (that’s my guy), going to the movies (girls’ night), and talking to my daughter on skype (in Brizy).

But what is Golden Key, and why should you join? First of all, being a member of Golden Key looks great on your CV. It also provides you with a chance to get involved with community and other academicachievers, as well as access to over $1 million of scholarship exclusively available to Golden Key members. Being a member also provides you with opportunities to access professional development opportunities such as CV workshops and guest lectures: last year, for instance, we heard from climate change seminar by Dr. Willem deLange.

What skills do I bring to the WSU board? Last year I organised a trip for 12 university

A’s plans are to hold an ‘Arts and Culture’ event. This will highlight our performing

students to Canada for research on Indigenous Peoples; I’m studying strategic management and political science; add that to the BOT, PTA committees; running my own business; I’ve gained a few skills along the way.

arts and cultural students during daytime performances and become a social get together over an artsy movie or live entertainment at night. In Semester B, the plan is to hold a WSU Ball for all students to attend and also show-case our talented students in this area. This will be a huge event so please feel free to contact me with your great ideas. I’ll be looking for bands, performers, buskers, decorators....throughout the year, so stay tuned.

In terms of goals for the WSU, I would like to raise the profile of Adult Learners which make up approx. 45% of the student population, and highlight our performing arts and cultural students. These initiatives will enrich the vibrant student culture here at uni. Regarding events, I’m looking at holding a social luncheon once a month for mature students to help build friendships and networks during their time at uni. Semester

If you are keen to meet up with me, you can find me at WSU on Tuesdays from 11am2pm, and Thursdays between 9am-12noon. Otherwise send just send me an email: priscilla@wsu.org.nz.

WSU EVENT PREVIEW WSU’S GOT TALENT!

Do you remember watching American TV and always seeing high school and university students running talent shows? Were you insanely jealous that you couldn’t bust your moves up on the stage and show off in front of your friends? Perhaps you will simply jealous that you couldn’t go along and participate in the fun of seeing your extremely talented friends perform to a wider audience? If so, WSU has the answer for you in the form of WSU’s Got Talent, which is to be held on the Village Green on Wednesday 1st June 2011.

students and clubs, as well as provide a venue for students with hidden (or perhaps not so hidden) talents. All types of performances are welcome, including musical, cultural, comedy or something else – as long as it is entertaining! So whether you are a whizz at the piano, hilarious when you tell jokes, or able to balance ten spoons on your nose, enter today and show off your talent to the wider Waikato student body.

WSU’s Got Talent is an opportunity

There are epic prizes up for grabs, and free food for contestants, including delicious cake from Tommo’s. At this stage we are looking for people who are keen to enter: if you have a

for students to engage in performing arts and cultural activities through an event that highlights the various talents among university students. It provides an opportunity to showcase our very talented

special talent that you would like to show off then email Priscilla at priscilla@wsu.org.nz today! It doesn’t matter whether you are an individual or a WSU club: be brave and buck the trend by showing your talent to the world!

ARE YOU UP FOR THE CHALLENGE?

WSU and CanDo Events are bringing WipeOut to the students of Waikato University!

WipeOut is an obstacle course event where teams of four compete against each other for some wicked prizes, including bar tabs! Come along for a wicked evening of WipeOut fundraising for Kiwi Can, a FYD programme. Where: Te Rapa Water World, Garnett Ave, Te Rapa, Hamilton When: Friday 13th May, 4.30pm – 6.30pm How to enter: search on Facebook for WipeOut Old School Edition for entry details – or email us at CanDo@hotmail.co.nz Cost: $40 per team of 4 $1.50 spectators

H-Town Music!

With Miss L Miss L is part of the Contact FM management and organisational team. Involved in promoting local music and the organisation of several events for both Contact FM and The Hamilton Live Music Trust. She is one the co- organisers of Hamilton most celebrated annual music event The Hamilton Circle Jerk (15 bands playing on night!). She also a member of The Hamilton Live Music Trust which organises the York St Band Experiments and gigs around Hamilton.

Many years ago a little known band named Trinket played the bars and venues of Hamilton. Soon, they found themselves realising this name probably wasn’t the best they could come up with and didn’t really suit their style of music. So they took a risk and changed their name, the name change also brought a change of fortunes. The new name the band chose was The Datsuns. After gaining a reputation for blistering live performances which still holds today and several appearances on the legendary John Peel Sessions (BBC U.K), some major players took note. The Datsuns became one of the first NZ bands in a very long time to sign to an overseas major label, the label V2 (founded by Richard Branson, aka Mr Virgin Records/Airlines). The Datsuns became famous on an international stage and followed it up by coming back to sell out NZ shows across the country. Many in New Zealand music industry were left scratching their heads wondering how the heck a band from little ol’ Hamilton (well Cambridge if you want to get technical) made it to the big time! The lesson for the New Zealand music industry: “If you think nothing is happening in Hamilton, it’s probably just because it’s happening without you!” There are many bands in Hamilton and New Zealand that deserve to stand on the big stages of grand festivals which many overseas bands are associated with, but Hamilton musicians can be a sneaky bunch. Many have had achievements such as supporting international acts and receiving glowing reviews both here and overseas and international airplay. The trouble is they are such a humble bunch you would never know any of the great things they have done. I am going to concentrate on the merits of bands in our own backyard. The first band I am going to introduce is “The Good Fun”. I remember seeing The Good Fun at the Band Experiments a few years ago, as the name suggested were exactly that “good fun”. A couple of years have passed and they have developed into amazingly cohesive unit who have a great ear for a melody. You may have been lucky enough to have seen The Good Fun at Soundscape, if you did i’m sure you would agree that they are a band on its way to something great! The Good Fun were the winners of the national high school Smokefree Rockquest, but do not let their age fool you. They have perfected the art of the perfect pop song hook. Their song ‘Naughty Little Sin” video has had over 120,000 views on Youtube to date, airplay on ZM and recently received NZ on Air recording grant. They released the Sharing EP just this month, full of quirky and interesting songs. The Good Fun is one band you should check out live before they move swiftly on to bigger things. 20

Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers, are no strangers to the Hamilton music scene. You wouldn’t get hear many objections to the claim that they were one of the hardest working bands in NZ music scene today. They also have the distinction of being one of the best rockabilly/psychobilly bands in New Zealand. Dick Dynamite has developed this reputation by regularly playing two or more gigs in a day. It’s obvious their hard work is paying off in droves and they are finally getting the attention they deserve. A Dick Dynamite gig is never the same as the last one, each one is different and you can be sure

gravity defying antics with instruments will happen at some point. If you saw them at Soundscape you would have seen the lead guitarist Sam Kimber-Bell lying down in the middle of Alexandra St playing on his back, while a harem of young ladies gathered to dance around him, in the meantime on stage brother Ricky KimberBell had jumped on top of his double bass all the while still playing. Drummer Chris Dalziel prefers to play standing upright at his drum kit. They deliver an electrifying set every time they play and are amazing musicians

live. They have even supported legendary rockabilly folk such as Slim Jim Phantom from Stray Cats (US). 2010 saw them win the York St Band Experiments, beating out some tough competition. With this win they got to record their new single “Deviant” at the legendary New Zealand York St Studios, along with a incredible new music video recently shot by Indiefilm which will be released soon. If you have never seen them live then I definitely suggest you should. They are one of the best live bands in New Zealand and hearing them recorded doesn’t do them justice.

The 2010 release of “Circle of the Sun” marked the arrival of Arc of Ascent with the Hamilton band receiving enormous and accolades. The New Zealand Herald listed the album one their top 30 releases of 2010 alongside bands such as Arcade Fire, The Naked and Famous and Kanye West. NZ Musician called it the album of the decade and “genius”. High praise indeed! Arc of Ascent are a heavy mix of stoner doom and old school metal. Think Josh Homme/ Kyuss/Queens of the Stone Age meets Black Sabbath. Mix them all together in a musical blender and you have the amazing Arc of Ascent. Seeing them live is an experience, best done by tilting your head back and taking in the music. Recently they supported Seattle sub pop legends The Melvins (the band Nirvana hailed as one their major influences). Having secured global distribution from Europe to USA Arc of Ascent now has an international platform to have their music heard on a global scale. We are lucky that Arc of Ascent still play shows in Hamilton. When they do, I suggest you make the effort and go check them out, seeing this amazing band live would be well worth your time. 21

Another local band on my list of go sees is AUM. AUM is a two man team, full of heavy drum ‘n’ bass, which can pretty much remix anything and make the track hauntingly dark and intense. If you have never checked their amazing remix of “Sing It To Me” by Knights of the Dub Table, the song takes incredible twists and turns thanks to their genius remixing. Rumour has it they are also remixing one of local band Sora Shima’s new tracks. A couple of months ago they released 3 Phase (He-3) in my opinion this track was one of their epic highlights, a song with a spectacular outro, that just leaves you wanting more. AUM continues to perfect their craft musically. It will be fantastic to see what they come up with next!

The next band The Shrugs are not a new band in Hamilton, in fact for almost a decade they producing songs with crafty lyrics blended with catchy chorus hooks. Singer-songwriter Geoff Doube lyric writing can make you laugh on even your saddest days. Lyrics like “All he wants to do is salsa like a younger Patrick Swayze” (A Younger Version of Your Self)

can’t help but make you break into a smile. The Shrugs Dead by Morning, (The Shrugs more lyrically vitriolic tracks, but with the sweetest of melodies) featured on an episode of Outrageous Fortune. Rumour has it the music editor heard the track and wanted it in the show. The Shrugs are a slice of Kiwiana, this may have to do with the lack of pretence

with the band or singer Geoff Doube’s strong kiwi accent either way they conjure up warm feelings, like a snug of pair of well fitting stubbies. So next time they play bring your jandals and maybe some beers for the band… it will be as relaxed as nice BBQ on a lovely New Zealand summers day.

Sora Shima are well established in the Hamilton music scene. Supporting hailed international music acts such as Broken Social Scene and Mono. Sora Shima have received accolades from BBC 6 U.K Tom Robinson sessions, Woxy.com (US) and Triple J (AUS). NZ music mags have also given them high praise with Real Groove giving the last EP 4 out 5 stars.

Sora Shima strives to create beautiful chaotic soundscapes all without the need of a vocalist. Nods to post rock bands such as Mogwai and Godspeed You Black Emperor! are evident in their music, but more recently several of the newer songs have shown elements of NZ’s HDU and Shapeshifter. Over the last couple

of years the band has had various line-up changes. However their most recent changes have seen Sora Shima moving into a new direction with their sound and becoming a tight live band. Set to record their first full album in the near future, this is definitely one band worth seeing live.

Milk Train are another band who pull out all the stops live. They are pure rock n roll through and through. If the Rolling Stones met Led Zeppelin in a bar and got it on one night, their illegitimate love child would be Milk Train. Good front men are hard to come by, great front men are worth their weight in gold and lead singer Toma Cullen is up there with the best. As a live band, they force to be reckoned. If you never heard their song “Downtown” it has a killer rock riff and guitar solo mixed into one amazing song. Comparisons to The Datsuns have been a constant for Milk Train and it isn’t hard to see why. Unfortunately the band are on hiatus at the moment, as a couple of the band members have recently moved overseas. By the time you read this, they will have played their last Hamilton

For my final introduction to Hamilton bands I present The Hollow Grinders. The Hollow Grinders are no strangers to the Hamilton music scene. They are well known for their instrumental surf guitar sound. They embody everything great about the 50’s rock n roll surf music, but with their own twist on it. It’s hard for anyone not to get into The Hollow Grinders as soon as you hear their music and see their energy live, your toes start tapping, body starts swaying and by the end of song you are in a full blown frenzied dance attack with arms flailing everywhere, they are just that kind of band.

show and Hamilton will be sadder place for losing such an awesome live act!

Like Dick Dynamite and the Doppelgangers and Milk Train, The Hollow Grinders have crafted a reputation as one of Hamilton’s the best live bands. It fact one word to describe them is incredible. Blazing guitars, thumping bass lines and a drummer who is so fast and unique, you really just have to see it live to fully comprehend it. The Hollow Grinders are probably one the best live bands in the country and I challenge anyone not to have a great ball of rock n roll fun when the Hollow Grinders are around. So there you have it. These are just some of the bands who are doing great things around Hamilton and I would encourage all of you to go and see them live just so you have a great gig story for when they go platinum. While many bars churn out the same top 40 hits on a continuous basis, it is nice to know that live original music still has a place in here in Hamilton and that these bands mentioned are making it a more interesting and a better place to live! Five bucks to get into a bar or five bucks for great bands…

Hmmm I know which is the better bargain. But if you have never seen any of these bands or do not know much about Hamilton music, then head over to Hamiltonmusicnz channel on Youtube and find out some the great musical treats this city has to offer! Honourable mentions just because I ran out of space: Doteyes (awesome one man electro act) Disco Volante (new band, great instrumentals), Der Kranks (Gypsy Band, fantastically great live), Tui Soundsystem (feat. several members from Knights of the

Dub table, great live band with elements of dub and d’n”b) Four Tonne Fiasco (a slick blend of reggae and pop elements), Penelope The (gritty rock, with an awesome female guitarist/vocalist), Villains (12 mcs and one top class turntablist, DJ Impact. Feat. Hamilton Hip-Hop crews: 4 Corners, Frankton Zoo and Funkton Village) and The Trons, a meccano robotic band with great pop tunes. Yes real robots making music! Check out the gig guide on page 38 for a whole lot of goings on in May New Zealand Music Month 23

DANIEL FARRELL COMMEMORATIVE

Puzzle Page

Brought to you by Mighty Strong Friends of Nexus; Event Cinemas and Frozen Coke Smugglers

Welcome back, yo. I guess you didn’t follow my “roadtrip” from before the break. Well, you probably won’t be reading this if you did… The jail part would be biting about now. So, time for another few weeks of puzzles, and then we have the (dare I say it) exams. Also, I’m not going to bother with a full title for the puzzles. Nexus obviously decided to remove them, and I looked like a dick explaining something that wasn’t there (thanks for that). Anyway, moving on. This week, you should probably be back to study… But you won’t be. Let’s deal with that.

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WHAT TO DO The Furious Puzzle Page

(seriously, it’s pretty darn cross) Brought to you by the strong mind of Event Cinemas, in both Chartwell and Centreplace flavours! Mmmmm, delicious frozen coke! Be warned, this is the most difficult puzzle page ever!

SUDOKU TIME

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NEXUS. FOOD. LOVE. WITH DEE Welcome back everyone! Are you glad to be back? I imagine that when I pick up this week’s Nexus, I won’t be the most excited person on campus. Having only five weeks in the second half of the semester means less time for end-ofsemester assignments, less time till exams... still it means less time till the next lot of holidays. Time to focus on what is ahead, but let’s take a moment to look back on what has happened recently.

a major tragedy or disaster, I really hope that the wedding is the only major event of the mid-semester break.

At the time of writing this, there is only one big event that has drawn worldwide media attention, and that is the wedding of Prince William to Catherine Middleton.

At this stage, there are so many details that we don’t know about the wedding. But we do know about the wedding cake, or should I say, wedding cakes. Yes, there will be two wedding cakes for the happy couple to cut and share. The first cake is a more traditional fruit cake, but not done in the way we do fruit cake here. It will be quite a light fruit cake, decorated with white and cream-coloured icings, and will be multi-layered... I mean, there is no way it couldn’t be. I would hate to see the size

I apologise if something else major has happened, but knowing that the only thing likely to overshadow this event would be

of the cake tin that would be needed to cook a single layer cake big enough to feed everyone at that wedding.

The second cake is a favourite of the Queen, and was requested by Prince William. It’s a no-bake chocolate biscuit cake. It is made from a royal family recipe, which is said to be fairly secret. In saying that, a chocolate biscuit cake recipe was printed in a cook-book written by one of the chefs who used to work for the late Diana, princess of Wales. No-one is willing to comment as to whether they are similar, but a spokesman for the company making the cake has said that if the ratios were close to 50 biscuits for every pound of chocolate, then they are very similar. This is the recipe that has come out of the cookbook. I found it online, where it had been published by the Chicago Tribune.

CHOCOLATE BISCUIT CAKE: Notes: Preparation: 25 minutes Chill time: 3 hours Servings: 8 If you don’t have a 6-inch cake ring or springform pan, substitute with an 8-inch version; however, you should double the recipe to get enough height from the cake. Ingredients: 230 grams of tea biscuits or cookies 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, softened 1/2 cup granulated sugar 360 grams of dark chocolate 1 egg, beaten 30 grams of white chocolate 1. Lightly grease a small (6-inch) cake ring or springform pan with butter. Place on a parchment-lined tray. Break each of the biscuits into almond-size pieces; set aside. Cream the butter and sugar in a bowl until a light lemon color.

2. Melt only 120 grams of the dark chocolate in a double boiler. Off the heat, add the butter and sugar mixture, stirring constantly. Add the egg; continue stirring. Fold in the biscuit pieces until they are all coated with the chocolate mixture. 3. Spoon the mixture into the prepared cake ring. Try to fill all the gaps on the bottom of the ring, because this will be the top when it is unmolded. Refrigerate for at least 3 hours. 4. Remove the cake from the refrigerator; let it stand while you melt the remaining 240 grams of dark chocolate in a double boiler. Slide the ring off the cake; turn the cake upside-down onto a cooling rack. Pour the melted chocolate over the cake, smoothing the top and sides using a butter knife or offset spatula. Allow the icing to set at room temperature. Carefully run a knife around the bottom of the cake where it has stuck to the cooling rack, transfer the cake to a cake dish. Melt the white chocolate; drizzle on top of the cake in a decorative pattern.

A QUICK ONE-TWO

This week, we asked our Lefty and our Righty about taxes on alcohol and cigarettes. Read their views below!

LEFT JAB WITH MISS COGSWELL

RIGHT CROSS WITH MR LETCHER

Are we really talking about excise tax again? The increase on tobacco was put through under urgency last year. People are dealing with the prices, the number of quitters may have increased but this comes with the awareness of the health issues and the way

Taxation on alcohol and tobacco is an issue that I’m of two minds on. The idea of a government being able to control the consumption of alcohol and tobacco by increasing the tax as a deterrent isn’t one that particularly appeals to me, because I’m not

it is seen by society. This is a cultural issue. Since the introduction of laws prohibiting smoking in bars and pubs, many people have adopted the same practices in their homes. Attitudes can be changed over time. We don’t enjoy being judged, and we shouldn’t be when we’re paying for it ourselves.

a big fan of paternalism or an interfering state. On the other hand, I’m very much a fan of ‘user-pays’ systems. By increasing the tax on alcohol and tobacco the government is simply making the users of these products to pay for the additional health care they will need as a result.

Further increases in tobacco excise should be carefully thought out in relation to the effects of the previous tax hike. The government was already getting about $1 billion a year in tobacco excise. There is a lot of money to be made by those at the top, if they raise the prices of cigarettes and alcohol. John and his rich mates may claim that heavy drinking impacts of public health sector but Alcohol Healthwatch have no compelling economic evidence that the current tax does not cover the costs of alcohol consumption. The submission also says that excise tax increases target young people and heavy drinkers. Not just heavy drinkers. Besides, alcoholics aren’t going to give up drinking because it’s too expensive. Nor are binge drinkers. It’ll just become a messier, more infrequent booze session. You can’t fix a people problem with a money solution.

In other words, I don’t care if somebody wants to sit at home all day slowly poisoning their lungs and raping their liver, unless they want somebody else to pick up the medical bill.

It’s patronising and creating more of a class divide, oh no sorry you’re too poor to relax and have a drink. Those on a student income or minimum wage are unfairly impacted. For rich people it’s not really an issue. Life goes on; you buy it anyway and drink if you’re a drinker, smoke if you’re a smoker. Massive consumption of cheap alcohol has become habit as bars are too expensive for many. John and his rich mates however, can afford to go to the pub. You see they own the pub. The hospitality industry makes a lot of money. Those funding the production and distribution of alcohol don’t want people to stop drinking – it’s funding their drinking! What we need is an attitude change and that’s a slow process. Youth need to stop seeing heavy drinking and chain smoking as cool. The sad thing is we were influenced by our parents! We need to phase out the problem in a non-judgmental way. Advertising has a huge part to play and I don’t mean those ads that always seem to come off as funny. John needs to stop hanging out with those mates of his.

Unfortunately the way the New Zealand health care system works is, for absence of a better word, socialist. Everyone pays their taxes and this money provides health care for everyone. About half of all the income tax every person will ever pay will go towards health care. This is great in the sense that everyone has access to relatively cheap health care when they need it, however, it doesn’t really place much of an incentive for people to take care of their lungs and liver now does it? People who drink excessively or smoke are putting a drain on the system. By placing higher taxes on alcohol and tobacco the government can attempt to recoup some of their losses. The increased taxes pay for the increased health costs the country faces because of these people. It’s the most efficient way to cover the loss because the tax is only charged to the people who use the product. I’ve heard a lot of people have a cry claiming that taxation on alcohol and tobacco is targeting poor people. I would like to correct them. It’s not targeting poor people, its targeting drinkers and smokers. If those drinkers and smokers happen to be poor and can’t afford their habit, perhaps they should quit. Their lungs and liver will love them for it, and so will hard working, tax paying New Zealanders.

OWEN’S VIEW

WITH OWEN HINTON

MAKING LIVING CHEAPER

WITH HONEST MATT

After Inle Lake, my friend and I got on a bus headed for Mandalay, the city which boasted the royal palace of Burma. The bus was crowded with people, this time however there were even supplies stashed under every seat and a big pile at the back. For about 18 hours or so

Honest Matt here. How the bloody hell are ya? That’s good. Right here is this week’s tip for making life a little bit cheaper/making some money.

I had my normally quite short legs (I’m more of a short to average in Asia) hunched up on what I imagined was a sack of potatoes, but in hindsight probably wasn’t considering the diet is pretty much rice. It was really lumpy anyway.

The human body is a money making machine that is highly underutilized. Have you ever thought about donating sperm for money? White gold, testicle tea, whatever you want to call it it’s a precious resource that far too many young men are guilty of wasting (don’t you dare deny it).

After contorting myself into the most satisfactory position, I managed to get maybe an hour or so sleep. When I woke up I discovered that the bus had taken on even more people, and someone was sitting on my potato sack, whilst another person was leaning against my seat, and also leaning on me, just a little. This is pretty standard fare for them over there. I was a bit gutted about the potato sack though. It had become my sack, and was a pretty good footrest, all things considered. It is funny how, in these sorts of situations, we can find ourselves a bit miffed by someone sitting on a lumpy, uncomfortable sack that we previously had our feet on. It wasn’t even that comfortable, but it had been mine.

“ It is funny how, in these sorts of situations, we can find ourselves a bit miffed by someone sitting on a lumpy, uncomfortable sack that we previously had our feet on. It wasn’t even that comfortable, but it had been mine.” Along the way we stopped at several little roadside restaurants in order to have a stretch and sample some of the strange foodstuffs. One bus trip in Thailand even stopped us at a huge bakery thing where they did all sorts of things with nuts. On the road to Mandalay we stopped at one a few hours after travelling up some incredibly windy roads which dropped away to an increasingly large gorge. Several times we would round a corner to be met with an overloaded logging truck or maybe a huge section of road had fallen away. Sometimes both! Good times. At the restaurant I watched the bus staff for about 10 minutes as they hosed the brakes down, in preparation for the next leg of the journey. I looked out over the beautiful landscape in the valley below and decided that at least we would fall to our deaths somewhere pretty. 28

Anyway I suggest donating a bit of your MANonaise to the salad of society. First of all you must go through a bit of screening process: psychoanalysis/ making sure your baby batter is A Grade, etc. This screening process takes from 8 weeks to 6 months depending on the sperm bank to which you are applying, so get cracking now. I must be upfront and warn you that the world of love yoghurt donation is a competitive business. The banks only accept 5 percent of its applicants. If you get the green light however you will be paid from $40 to $100 for each semen sample. A donor can sire a maximum of 10 children and potentially make up to $6,000 in a year. That’s a good chunk of dosh for busting out a few knuckle children! The donation process is simple. You walk into a private room, which is usually stocked with pornography and masturbate into a sterile container. The semen sample is collected from the container and is mixed with a cryo-preservative solution, sealed in vials and frozen with liquid nitrogen. The frozen semen is stored at -321 degrees Fahrenheit. When needed, the semen sample is thawed and used in artificial insemination. So next time you’re jerkin the gerkin in your cold, drafty, leaking flat and thinking to yourself ‘wow this self exploration would be much better in a warmer house’ remember this advice and go apply to donate some man chowder. With $6,000 you could be pulling it with a brand new daikan heat pump warming your room. Oh what a feeling that would be. Take a moment and think of all the money you’ve wasted since the age of 13. Sickening isn’t it? Don’t let this continue. Donate some man mustard today and get paid. Get your H Card for only $25 today from hcard.co.nz Check out our deals at hcard.co.nz/deals

WORDS OF WISDOM

WITH MR MINTY FISH

POSTCARDS FROM A FORMER STUDENT

WITH MACKENZIE MCCARTY

Have you ever wondered who people think you are? “They probably just think I’m like this amazing person full of love and peace.” Oh wow. You’re so high right now. If I have one piece of advice, it would be to constantly say impressive

A Visit to the Vietnamese Tailors

things just within earshot of impressive people. Not so much, “I am so rich and good looking.” Try something more subtle. Guys, try something along the lines of “Yeah bro I felt bad. She just said it hurt because it was too big so we just snuggled.” Boom. Bang. Science. You are about to get laid. And chicks? “Yeah I was going to go shopping for my modelling shoot but then couldn’t be bothered so I just made a sandwich and played Black Ops.” The real question is, what do you say in public? What kind of embarrassing shit do you put down that cruel and judgmental people like me pick up? Observe. These are just two legit examples of things I have heard whilst creeping on campus. Quote: “I had to go get my second box of condoms on Sunday. Wtf I only bought them on Saturday!” Assumption: Slut or recently de-virginised couple that just discovered sex after watching Discovery Channel. Quote: “It’d be so funny if he kinda’ hits me. Then I’d drop my books and he’d pick them up. That’s so him. He’s so sweet!” Assumption: Were you brought up in some world where all you watched was Once Were Warriors and Disney? Picking up your books isn’t good enough. He’s gotta punch them out of your hands first.

in antique stucco buildings is our call to action.

Who do you think I am? I wouldn’t be asking had I not had the pleasure of sitting in a lecture and watching a guy read my column. Ok I may have actually been creeping as he read it but the point is I was sitting there thinking I’m a boss when “Whoa. This Mr Mintyfish guy knows what’s up.” Don’t get me wrong, if I had a dick, it would be huge but I don’t. Not even a small one. Which begs the question, what/who do I come across as? 1) A ghetto fabulous black bitch with hoop earrings. 2) A theatre hipster with a fucking beret in the middle of summer. 3) Other. Please, enlighten me. If we have established one thing from this column, it’s that I’m a creeper. My mum would be so proud. Be warned my little minions, if you don’t know who I am, I could be the kid creeping behind you as you read this. Look! There I am. Just kidding. No I’m not..

and hundreds of other motorcycles, until we reach a one-room shop bulging with piles of every fabric under the sun. I select my cotton, my denim, my red and black and white and patterned, we thank the plump lady cooking rice cakes in the back room.

Our bus has just pulled in to Hoi An, a central Vietnamese town famed for its tailors, and the steady whir of sewing machines chugging away

Anything, and I mean anything, can be made specific to your size: suits, dresses, jeans, jackets, shoes, and for a girl who buys most of her clothes at op shops and has never had so much as a sock made specifically for her, this is a place where dreams come true. “How much for a dress?” I ask the tiny smiling Vietnamese lady. “US$40.” “Oy choy oy! “(Oh my God!) I exclaim in mock terrror. She grins. “I make a good price for you.” Hmmm. “What if I buy five dresses?” There is a slightly disconcerting twinkle in her eye, she’s done this a thousand times. “For five dresses, you pay US$30 each.” I say $20. She counters $25. We shake hands, and she gets down to business. From the internet I select five designs, she and another lady measure me, and then I am handed a bike helmet. “We go you choose fabric!” she announces. It’s 9:30pm, and the idea of riding on the back of a motorcycle in Vietnam, where road rules are as much a joke as the state of the roads themselves, is totally awesome. She chucks me on the back and commences to weave in and out between buses and chicken carts, ladies in conical rice paddy hats carrying baskets of taro,

The following afternoon I return, but only after having picked up the knee-high black leather boots I’d had made for me at another shop up the road, and the dresses are completed. We do a fitting, there are bits here and there that need adjusting: straps too low, boob coverage not ample enough, etc, and whilst they are making the alterations the shopkeeper entertains me by showing me photos of her Vietnamesestyle engagement party, explaining with some frustration that sometimes you have to pay for bridesmaids here because it is “bad luck” to be a bridesmaid too many times, and often you friends will simply refuse. My dresses are perfect, so perfect in fact that I buy the two ladies a slice of cake each and throw my arms around them in gratitude. They aren’t surprised- they’ve done this a thousand times.

CAFES: LIKE A BOSS

RANGATAHI IN THE WORKPLACE

WITH MRS MATTHEWS YOUNG WORKERS’ RESOURCE CENTRE

Café Eighty eight, 88 Maunganui Rd, Mount Manunganui.

Annual Leave Holidays are what some workers work for, and in New Zealand under the Holidays Act (2003 ) each employee is legally entitled to a minimum of four weeks annual leave per year. This means after 12

We were at the Mount on this lovely sunny day to witness a wedding, which was to be thoroughly entertaining, because it was so badly organised. Staying in a fantastic little house near town we decided to venture into the mount proper in search of coffee and breakfast. A quick walk past the waterfront cafes informed us that it was far too damn busy and loud to bother trying to order there, so we wandered into the main street of town in search of something better.

months of continuous employment with the same employer, you are entitled to 4 weeks annual leave (paid holiday) that the employer must allow you to take within 12 months of it becoming due.

Eighty eight was one of the first cafes we stumbled across, but it looked so damn cool we pretty much settled on it immediately. They got busy just after we walked in so I quickly jumped in line and ordered a Bacon and Egg Corn Stack from the cabinet for me and ‘Char’s favourite’ for the husband, which was eggs and bacon on crispy ciabatta. The poached eggs for the husband came out almost immediately, which we found impressive. But we then waited at least another ten minutes for my corn fritter stack to come out, in which time the table next to us (that had ordered after me) was served all three of its meals in one go. By this time the husband had long since finished, which was rather disappointing. The food was actually fantastic, the corn fritters were delicious, although they looked great smothered in cheese I’m not really sure it added anything to them. I did however order sour cream with my fritters, that I then had to chase up (and stand awkwardly next to the kitchen for far too long) to get. My ice coffee was great, and the husband said the short black was good, although at $6.50 and $4.00 respectively it was a little steep for what it was. Eighty eight is a gorgeous little cafe; a little skinny down the middle but that can’t be helped. The counter was laden with an impressive range of baked goods that I really wanted to try out but I had no space left. The staff are friendly and bouncy, and mostly attentive, I just don’t know how well they cope with getting busy. I really wanted to love this place, I really felt it was a shame I was disappointed on this occasion.

This is for both part-time and full-time permanent employment. So if you are a student and work 6 hours a week with the same employer for one year on the anniversary of your employment you would have accrued 24 hours (4x6) of annual leave. Or if you work full time (40 hours p/week) for the same employer for one year you would then be entitled 160 hours (40x4) of annual leave. You can take your annual leave all at once or in bits and pieces, this needs to be negotiated with your employer. In some cases you can negotiate with your employer to take your annual leave in advance; it is your employer’s choice whether or not they allow this. When you leave a job, you are entitled to be paid any holiday pay that is owed to you as part of your final pay; whether or not you resign, were fired or came to the end of your contract. The YWRC encounters many young workers’ that are often denied their final pay. If your employer refuses to pay your holiday pay you can follow it up with the YWRC and we will help you, or go straight to the Department of Labour (0800 20 90 20). From the 1st of April employees will have the option of selling, up to one week of their annual leave back to their employer. The Act states that the employee must approach the employer, and it is up to the employer to decide whether or not they would like to purchase the week. If the employer agrees, the employee will end up with 3 weeks paid holiday and an extra weeks pay. This is a neat option for low income families who may need a bit of extra cash, nonetheless this could result in more people taking shorter holidays, which could impact health and safety and employment. For example a full time worker may require four weeks holiday in order to be safe at work, and if 48 full time workers sell one weeks holiday back to the employer, that is one less full time job.

OUT AND ABOUT

WITH A-MAN-DUH

POST-RAD

WITH BLAIR MUNRO

It’s the time of the year where ASKEW gets down to business and we Gays dominate the world! Well...not really dominate the world, but Hamilton for 4 days. 2011 is going to be blimmin’ HUGE, and I emphasise the HUGE because this year the Annual UniQ conference

I’ve been informed by a man, who takes the greatest pains to offer his criticisms, that I have been shirking my responsibilities as a contributor to Nexus. Apparently, despite the fact that I am a volunteer, it is my job, if not a civic duty, to speak as the voice of

will be held in the Heart of Waikato, right here in the TRON.

graduate students across campus. I am expected, it seems, to shed light on the trials, tribulations, and trouble with Tribbles that graduate students face.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the UniQ conference or the term UniQ, I will break it down for you right now *starts dancing*. UniQ is the name that other Universities use for their queer or LGBT groups. For example: UniQ Auckland, UniQ Otago etc. We, ASKEW are lucky enough to have our own group name, so is AUT with their group named ‘OUT@AUT’ Now, bring together all the UniQ groups from around the Country, Otago, Canterbury, Auckland, Waikato, Lincoln, Massey and Victoria; we now have the Annual UniQ conference. Last year, workshops such as Sexual Health and BDSM were held and for many people that attended the BDSM workshop, it was rather intense, rather interesting or maybe a bit of both. This year we want to bring something different to the conference, we don’t know what that is yet, but we are going to make sure that this year’s conference is going to be the shizz-nit! So busy, busy, busy we are indeed! Getting everything organised, making sure that the committee meet their deadlines, making sure that we maintain contact with the WSU, UniQ Aotearoa and that on top of conference; our Uni work is going sweet. I’m sure the other group members can relate in terms of sussing out my time well, but organising my time-management as well as ASKEW being supportive, and passing the buck has definitely been an important part of the ‘organising conference process’. Kudos! So with the conference coming up very soon (July 7th – 10th), we are adamant that it is going to be an eventful time for everyone. Meeting new people, our future lovers perhaps? Listening to people’s life stories; krumping at the ball as one of the 7 deadly sins and taking in our own perspectives of what we’ve gathered from hosting such a HUGE event. Again it is going to be HUGE!

Loathe as I may be to admit it, he’s right. The problem is that it’s fundamentally the same as studying for your Bachelor. There’s still a perpetual time shortage. There’s still the balance between needing to study and wanting to enjoy your free hours. There are still the exams, and the lectures, and the tricky questions. You’re still playing the same game, but the stakes have changed. Admittedly, those inclined to do so would take solace in the fact that even if they fail miserably, they’re still qualified, and the years preceding haven’t been entirely wasted. For the most part, however, education is still education. You do your time, you do the work, and hopefully, you walk away as a better person. The work is hard, there is no denying that. There is a depth of understanding you are expected to achieve during the course of your study. If there is one stand-out distinction between the days before your graduation, and the years after, it is that. Of course, by this point, you should have a much higher expectation of yourself than the expectation that your lecturers or parents have of you. Essentially, the first three or four years of your degree are one big test. A single hurdle you must work to overcome before you can begin to race. A hill that you must climb to be able to see the mountain. Now, if you’ve read this far and are still thinking about continuing study, you’re already on your way. Intelligence and diligence will get you the marks, but it’s the attitude that will take you the distance. Like any great challenge, the key lies in your approach. None of this really matters, however, if you’re a student of the arts. The only thing a Master’s Degree in Arts will give you is an extra piece of paper to use as a bookmark, when you choose to take a break from deconstructing emotional themes from Harry Potter. 31

FASHIONISTAS!

WITH LADY HAYNS

THE CARE BEARS

WITH SHARE BEAR AND LOVE-A-LOT BEAR.

Boys: It has come to my attention that you also require my help in the fashion stakes. I know what you’re going to say as soon as you start reading this; “Oh but I don’t even care what I look like, fashion is for girls, gays and those freaky ‘metro men”. Yes fashion is for them, yes

Dear Share Bear and Love-a-lot bear, I am a nice person. So why is it that I find it hard to maintain friendships. I’m not friends with anyone I went to high school with anymore. I’m not even friends with people from over a year ago.

metro men are a little strange sometimes, but YES fashion is for you too. What you wear is part of the impression you leave on people. Especially girls, I figure this (sex) is a foolproof way of getting you all to look flash.

I feel as though people always use me when they are down and then kick me to the curb when their life improves. How do I go about finding friends who care? Or learn when to move on from a friendship where I am the one who does all of the work?

Layering is good, just do it properly please. DO NOT wear shirts underneath tee-shirts. This looks terrible. Shirts look nice under vests and v-neck woollen jerseys. Tee-shirts look good under a shirt, just not the other way around. If you doubt this, don’t hesitate to contact me and be proved wrong.

Sincerely, Person who has ‘friends’ but hardly any Friends.

Sporty outfits are fine if you’re a sports and leisure student, and your day involves actually doing sport and exercise. If it doesn’t: singlet’s, rugby shorts, soccer shorts and track pants just make you look like you were lazy and pulled on whatever was on the floor. By the way, girls don’t really like this. If you are skinny enough to not fit into men’s jeans of any kind please do not trot down to Jay Jays and purchase the smallest pair of girl’s jeans you can fit into. It makes you look silly and girls become self conscious around you, purely because of the fact you are emphasising

Love-a-lot Bear says: I wouldn’t worry too much about people from high school; I know heaps of people that aren’t still friends with their high school mates. Friendships change and develop a lot when we’re young, mainly because we change and develop a lot at this stage in life! As for people using you... Why don’t you set yourself some ‘friend rules’ as for what’s OK for people to ask of you and what’s not. You can only get respect from other people when you’re respecting yourself. If there are some friendships you wish to salvage, try talking to these people, tell them what’s been bothering you and see if you can work it out together?

how much skinnier you are than them. I am also 99% sure that if you stopped wanting your jeans tight around the crotch region you would fit the smallest size in men’s jeans. P.S girls don’t really like tight pants on boys.

Otherwise keep making new friends (grab a coffee or lunch with someone from uni after class) and you will get there, I promise. Sometimes it just takes a little while to find the people that we ‘click’ with.

Cardigans and other hipster items of clothing. Fellas, if you’re going to wear a cardigan, make sure it isn’t oversized or made for girls. This makes you look like a hipster. Some facts about hipsters: 1. Not many people like hipsters. 2. Many people like to make fun of hipsters. 3. Dressing like a hipster makes you look like you tried way too hard when you got dressed.

Share Bear says: I think what Love a lot bear has suggested are perfect ways to combat how you are feeling. Set goals and rules when it comes to your friendships. One rule might be something along the lines of; if a friend keeps rescheduling any plans you have made, maybe it’s time to have a talk to them about why this keeps happening, or to start looking at spending time with other friends.

A couple more pointers: Wash your clothes in a machine; spraying them with lynx is not washing them. Replace items with holes in them.

New friendships can be easily forged if you know where to look. Social sports, university groups, through other friends and acquaintances are all ways to meet new people. Make sure you keep yourself open and don’t be afraid to make new friends. I know it can be scary at times, but sometimes you can come across that person that changes your life.

Follow these rules and the girls will be climbing all over you!

AUTEUR HOUSE SIDNEY LUMET WITH RICHARD SWAINSON Sidney Lumet is a name that should be long remembered. A film maker for half a century, Lumet directed everyone from Henry Fonda to Philip Seymour Hoffman. Many of the screen’s most luminous stars did their best work under his instruction. Katharine Hepburn never gave a finer dramatic performance than “Long Day’s Journey into Night”. Rod Steiger’s intensity was given fullest expression in “The Pawnbroker”. Sean Connery was liberated from the yoke of Bond in Lumet’s “The Hill” and further expanded his range in “The Offence”. Lumet excelled when in charge of ensemble casts. Debuting with “12 Angry Men” in 1957, he demonstrated skill not only with leading man Fonda but a solid phalanx of supporting players. From the first Lumet was sensitive to all acting styles, working with both established Hollywood veterans and emerging method performers like Brando and Steiger and, during his 1970s peak years, Al Pacino. Lumet brought out Pacino’s quieter, more interesting side, extracting his most subtle performance as an incorruptible cop in “Serpico” and his most layered one as the homosexual bank robber in “Dog Day Afternoon”. Amongst many good films and quite a few undeniable classics Lumet’s masterpiece is “Network”. It’s true that Paddy Chayefsky’s screenplay is a work of satirical genius yet Lumet interprets it to perfection, balancing the dark humour and potentially over-the-top dialogue with moments of human observation and warmth. Most remember Peter Finch’s “I’m mad as hell” monologues but just as strong is the scene where William Holden leaves wife Beatrice Straight, or the caustic farewell delivered to his “television incarnate” mistress, Faye Dunaway. No other screen satire is so grounded in believable, sympathetic characters. Of course Lumet was much more than a superior director of actors. Often contributing to screenplays, he was a complete film maker. That his New York dramas are not as celebrated as Scorsese’s reflects the fact that he was a less personal one and less stylistically experimental and perhaps also his willingness to take on projects not entirely suited to his talents. “The Wiz”, for example, an all black re-imagining of “The Wizard of Oz” with an overage Diana Ross as Dorothy and Michael Jackson as the scarecrow, is at best a camp embarrassment. It’s pleasing though that Lumet went out on a high note. Awarded an honorary Oscar in 2005, his final two features, made when he was well over 80, were both critical successes.

TALES FROM TINSLETOWN

WITH JADE CAREY

When she was just 17 she became an idol for many teenage girls, but now at 25 she has become the face of a new Chinese sex toy! Mischa Barton used to be the girl that so many teenage girls dreamed of being, but today, eight years since she started as Marissa Cooper on the TV show The O.C, Barton has abused drugs and alcohol to the

point of being arrested. She has also gone from a skinny, super model figure to a more rounded size, when she gained weight after her hospitalization at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center; she was admitted under the California’s involuntary psychiatric-hold law. This law allows authorities to hold a person for up to 72 hours if they present a danger to themselves and others. Her friends and family were afraid she was suicidal. Barton has also been arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence, driving without a valid license and possession of marijuana. As if this wasn’t enough for the troubled supermodel, film and TV star, she has just recently been spotted on a new Chinese sex toy. Barton was spotted on the packaging of a vibrating, ring-shaped sex toy that can only be purchased in rural China. Barton is pictured wearing a very low-cut blouse and a “come-hither” expression. TMZ.com talked to the man who brought the toy (he stated that he brought them for research purposes only...yeah right!) and according to him the disposable toys were stocked next to boxes of condoms and were being offered as part of an array of “Western” amenities in the hotel he was staying at. TMZ.com tried to research whether Barton had secretly released a line of sex toys to China (probably not a good idea for the woman who has already had so much bad publicity, but I guess bad publicity is better than no publicity for some) but Barton’s rep denied it all saying, “Um. No. She’s not endorsing any such toy.” If there’s no sex toy then how is Mischa earning her keep as she doesn’t seem to be doing any acting lately. Although it seems like a big coincidence, it is more than likely that the image on the packaging is a look-a-like of Barton and not her at all or has been used without her knowledge. Nothing has been proven either way, so once again I leave it up to you and what you want to believe. 33

PWNED

WE’RE ON A ROAD TO NOWHERE WITH DAGGARD TEST DRIVE UNLIMITED 2 DEVELOPED BY EDEN GAMES AVAILABLE FOR PC, XBOX 360 & PS3 RATED PG

Test Drive Unlimited (2006) was a bold and welcome experiment for its time. It was the first attempt at a Driving MMO game. The idea being the player collects and races exotic cars around a real island in Hawaii, geographically mapped in almost every detail. Despite the ambition, the experiment largely failed. There were just too many bugs that prevented players from being able to enjoy it as an online experience. This year the concept has been given another crack. For the most part the bugs have been minimized, although the PC version seems to have suffered. But there are all new problems that have cropped up this time. There is an attempt made to create a story this time around but that attempt is weak at best. To progress through the game, the player has to earn ‘XP’ to level up through 60 levels. These points can be earned via 4 categories: Competition (racing, completing challenges), Social (making friends in the game, race against other people, joining clubs), Discovery (discover all roads, take photographs of specific locations, find all car wrecks) and Collection (buy cars, houses, furniture, clothing/basic needs). Unfortunately all of this amounts to a game that knows what it wants to be, but just can’t execute the features well enough to be it. An enormous open world RPG needs variable content to keep the player interested; it needs deep customization to add depth and a mission structure that’s flexible with missions that are fun to do. On the surface TDU2 is a massive game – geographically at least – but there

just isn’t enough here to keep the player entertained. The world itself is a step up from the original, but at the end of the day it’s just too empty and soulless. Earning XP and money becomes more of a chore than fun. The story is thinner than paper thin. The voice work is hellishly cheesy. The human character models are about as detailed as Barbie dolls, lifeless and devoid of an actual character. There are only 2 radio stations and the ads are poor man’s GTA satire, only they have no place in this game. You can, however, play the game alone or online which I always appreciated about the first one. There are lots of ideas here, but these ideas we’ve seen in other games and done a lot better.

THE REALM OF INFINITE CHAOS AND JOSS WITH DAGGARD

PRESENTED BY MARK 1 COMICS AND GAMES 551 VICTORIA ST.

JOSS WHEDON: A FANBOY’S FANBOY

There’s a moment in Bryan Singer’s film X-Men , where Wolverine has just battled ‘himself’ in the form of Mystique. He steps out in front of the other X-Men and Cyclops is about to blast him when Wolvie says: “Wait wait wait…It’s me.” “Prove it!” Scott demands. “…You’re a dick.” is Logan’s reply. A pause from Scott who then casually says: “Ok”. It was the only line that remained from Joss Whedon’s draft and is still probably the best one. But we’ll come back to the X-Men. Joss Whedon began his career in Hollywood as a script doctor. He’d make a living going in and polishing other people’s screenplays, rewriting to improve what was already on the page. His use of dialogue in particular has made him something of a cult legend. Many know him as the creator of the hugely popular Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series, which found massive cult status. Less successful was the ill-fated Firefly which was cancelled after only 11 episodes; an act still regarded by fans as one of the great crimes of genre TV. As years went by he began to take his creations to comics, both Buffy and the crew of Serenity enjoying success as heroes of ink instead of TV. In 2006, his Astonishing X-Men received an Eisner Award for Best Continuing Series. The run was a break out success and finally X-Men fans got to see what he could do with the characters years on from the film. His specialty is giving his characters a sharp, cynical wit. Working with an ensemble cast is nothing new for him, but reading his unique (and often hilarious) ‘dysfunctional’ take on the X-Men, is a real treat.

Whedon’s current superhero project (many would say THE superhero project) is writing and directing the film adaptation of The Avengers (2012). He will undoubtedly harness that astonishing mutant power of balancing the personalities of a bunch of oddballs. “Marvel set this up… This is part of a master plan that is kind of unprecedented. I’m a little stunned… I’m still waiting for the real director to show up! The thing that made me excited to do it was just how counter-intuitive it was, it’s makes no sense, these people should not even be in the same room let alone the same team. And that, to me is the very definition of family!”

MOVIE REVIEWS

SARAH’S KEY - DIRECTED BY GILLES PAQUET-BRENNER There are are risks involved in making a Holocaust drama. Historical inaccuracy is obviously a no-no. Tonal inappropriateness is another. Then there’s the problem that even “Schindler’s List” could not quite solve: striking a balance between recognising that the vast majority of victims died and dramatising exceptions to that rule. “Sarah’s Key” is a new French film that examines the complicity of the Vichy government in Nazi crimes. It does so from a consciously modern point of view, inter-cutting between a present day tale of a journalist at a cross roads in her own life and a back story involving a young girl who managed to survive the 1942 Vel’ d’Hiv Roundup of Parisian Jews in which over 13,000 were deported to death camps. Impressively, melodrama and sermonising are kept to a minimum. Director Gilles Paquet-Brenner might not demonstrate quite the same attention to detail as Roman Polanski does in “The Pianist” but he takes broadly the same approach, presenting inhumane acts without directly tugging at the audience’s heartstrings. One overhead tracking shot of the squalid conditions in which detainees were forced to live in prior to their deportation sums the technique up: to depict an atrocity and its context is enough; editorialising isn’t required. The strength of “Sarah’s Key” is the way it examines the ongoing fallout of the Holocaust, not only in terms of the guilt and depression felt by those who escaped the gas chamber but in the way history impacts on succeeding generations. Kristen Scott Thomas continues her career renaissance, well cast as the journalist in the modern story even if she at times seems to struggle with an American accent. The French supporting players are mostly solid, with 96 year old Gisèle Casadesus a stand out as the elderly grandmother. Aiden Quinn also shows up, more competent actor than token Hollywood star. There’s a well observed line of dialogue toward the end. A young journalist compares apathetic popular reactions to the 1942 roundup with those of contemporary Americans watching Iraqi civilians being bombed on television. It’s a measure of PaquetBrenner’s restraint that “Sarah’s Key” neither absolves the French population of responsibility for war crimes nor necessarily suggests that later citizens would reacted any better in the face of fascist authority. What his film does movingly show, however, is that deeds both good and bad always have consequences. - Reviewed by Richard Swainson 36

SUCKER PUNCH - DIRECTED BY ZACK SNYDER The most disappointing film I have seen in a long time would have to be Zack Snyder’s Suckerpunch. Now, I have to admit that I walked out of this film, but I feel that I was justified in doing so. So much hype, so many action packed trailers and all I end up with is an exceptionally disconnected, nonsensical story about everything the world thinks is cool at this single point in time. I have only walked out of a handful of films: King Arthur, Daredevil and Garfield. It takes a lot for me to walk out of a movie and Suckerpunch had it all. What begins as a pretty standard, grimy, stylised look back on the 1950s (now drenching our screens since the success of Sin City and its imitators) soon becomes a technicolour-vomit spectacular. This film was not written by a single person, or even a pair of friends. There’s no Good Will Hunting here and Zack Snyder is no Gus van Sant. It is as if this revolting, travesty of a film was cobbled together by focus groups made up of idiotic teenagers, none of whom had seen a good film. They have grown up in a world where loud noises and stupid, sexual outfits have been thrown in their face and now they don’t even know what they want. This film features burlesque, giant robots, Zombie Germans, dragons, Hello Kitty, Japanese schoolgirl uniforms and steam power. What do these tropes have in common? Nothing: they are simply ideas grabbed out of global pop culture headlines and watered down with slow motion and jumpy camera work. This is not a film: this is one long, retarded advert for bullshit and we’re all running around with our hands down our pants, far too excited at the idea of some former Disney-sluts prancing around with swords and clockwork machine guns to realise that Western civilisation is collapsing and we’re too busy watching bullshit like this. When I saw the myriad pieces of this shit-fest start to fall into place, I turned to my date and asked: “Would you like to get the fuck outta here?” she replied “Would I?” That brief moment, that sacred second of similarity, was far more of a payoff than anything this visual diarrhoea could have supplied me with. Go and see this film as a first date. It’ll give you something in common: the burning desire to murder Zack Snyder, before he makes another focus group film.

- Reviewed by The Waikato Fist

KEVIN PRYOR GOES DOWN ON BOOKS AGAINST NATURE - J.K HUYSMANS I’m going to start this review with a rant. I hate hippies. Not the people themselves, but the ideas behind them. Their naive romanticising of nature appalls me, as does their terrible dress sense, battles with personal hygiene, and inability to use contraception. So a book with the title ‘Against Nature’ is always going to be an anti-hippie bible. Not that Hippies existed when it was written. At the turn of the twentieth century most people were forced to live off the land - it wasn’t a drop-out option. Life on the land was hard work. It is against this background that Huysmans wrote his masterpiece. His protagonist, Des Esseintes, decides he is going to remove himself from the natural world. Dismayed by what he perceives as the failures of nature, Des Esseintes buys a remote country house so he can live in absolute solitude. Cloaking his rooms in thick curtains to block out the sun, he lives only by candlelight. He employs one servant who slips food under the door, and has to wear padding on his feet so as not to emit

a sound. Using an inheritance, he buys an enormous library of books, art works and curiosities to fill in his time. As a prototype of a radical Nietzschian Aristocrat, Des Esseintes’ pastimes are highly individualised. He reads obscure religious texts written in an obsolete form of Latin. He also collects exotic perfumes and attempts to compose the equivalent of a musical symphony for the nose. That is, each fragrance corresponds to a musical note. He also owns a jewel encrusted tortoise that crawls around on rare Persian carpets. As you’ve probably gathered by now, this is a peculiar novel. And that’s what I like about it. It’s a one of a kind read. Translated from French, the prose is littered with arcane adjectives and elaborate syntax. If ‘Life in the Woods’ by Henry Thoreau was an inspirational text for simple, natural living - ‘Against Nature’ is its exact opposite.

JUDY READS...

TRAINSPOTTING – IRVINE WELSH OK, so the first and most obvious thing when picking up this book is that the first page doesn’t appear to be written in English. It is written in English, but very heavily accented Scottish English. You have to read it like it’s written. And reading it out loud kind of helps too. My trick to reading it

The stories do focus on drugs (obviously), alcohol and petty crimes – pretty much anything that the group with no possibilities, or hopes can do to take their minds off their completely unfulfilling lives. They see the straight world as being

was to youtube a clip of the movie, and then I had his voice and accent in my head and it made things about a million times easier.

mind-numbing and spirit crushing, and they despise it. I’d kind of like to say that there was an uplifting message or a horrible warning or some kind of moral. But there just isn’t. It really isn’t much more than a snapshot of those who had no hope in Edinburgh in the 80s. Reading about what Edinburgh was like at that time, and how there were no jobs and not much hope it’s pretty easy to see how people got sucked in to this kind of situation where drugs really were the highlight of their day and there was nothing else to do.

Trainspotting is made up of short chapters, each narrated in the first person by junkies, friends of the junkies, or others suffering from addiction. All the narrators come from Leith in Edinburgh. Each chapter is independent from the others, but also interconnected. The story is not linear, and often the narrator will be someone we’ve never heard of before but will be introduced to in the future. But somehow it all fits together and makes sense. The stories were originally published as short stories in a variety of publications, and it’s clear when reading that this was the case. But in all the compilation makes an awesome first novel.

Even if you’ve seen the movie (which is awesome) you should give the book a shot. They aren’t the same, they never are, but it’s just such an interesting snapshot of a place, time and a group of people. I enjoyed it despite the fact that it was totally depressing, it was just a side of life I’d never thought much about. 37

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HAMILTON 400 WEEKEND

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