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issue 06 2011

Page 1

APRIL 4TH 2011

06

ADDICTION

INTERVIEW

Hamilton East Labour Party candidate Sehai Orgad smells nice so we talked to her nicely

ADDICTION

Believe it or not! You are all junkies and it’s totally legal! Nexus got high for you!

AUTEUR HOUSE

This week we bring you a special Auteur House remembering the life of Elizabeth Taylor

CARE BEARS

Our new relationship advice column for the thinking student

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Wednesday

*excluding tui blonde and during quiz only

TEAMS OF 4 - 8 Thursday

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EDITOR: Art Robinson (editor@nexusmag.co.nz) DESIGN: David Nixon (graphics@nexus-npl.co.nz) ADVERTISING: Tony Arkell (admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz)

CREDITS & CONTENTS

Credits:

4

EDITORIAL

5

PREZ SEZ

6

THE MAGIC 8-BALL

NEWS EDITOR: James Manning (j.mann@windowslive.com) FILM EDITOR: Richard Swainson (films@nexusmag.co.nz) BOOKS EDITOR: Kevin Pryor (books@nexusmag.co.nz) GAMES EDITORS: Sash Nixon (games@nexusmag.co.nz)

Contributors Dirty Old Blair Munro, Shannon Rolfe, Loud American Mackenzie McCarty, Judy’s Sweet Legs, Dr Richard Swainson, Owen “Beef” Hinton”, Honest Matt, Kylie Zinsli, Jess Edmonds-Saunders, Danielle Wall, Mrs. Matthews,

Jade Carey, Josh Cooper, Daniel Farrell, Sam & Zane, Esther Coker, Lauren KB, Mandy Suess-Ryan, Rawinia Judson, Caitlin Hayns, Aaron.Letcher, Kate Cogswell, Monique Hamilton, and Campbell “Ultimate Warrior” Weal.

Nexus is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA). Or at least, we think we are.

THE VIEWS EXPRESSED IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE NOT NECESSARILY THE VIEWS OF NEXUS PUBLICATIONS 2003 LTD, ANY OF OUR ADVERTISERS, THE WSU, APN, THE EDITOR, OR ANYONE. WE THINK THAT THESE LITTLE JOKES

AREN’T READ BY ANYONE BUT US. AND THAT PERVY GUY IN MY BIO LAB.

WANT TO ADVERSTISE WITH NEXUS? EMAIL admanager@nexus-npl.co.nz OR call 07 838 4653

NEXUS IS LOCATED AT: Ground Floor, Student Union Building, Gate One, University of Waikato, Knighton Road, Hamilton PHONE: 07 838 4653 FAX: 07 838 4588 EMAIL: editor@nexusmag.co.nz POSTAL: Private Bag 3059, Hamilton

7-9

NEWS

10

SPORTS THOUGHTS

11

POLICE REPORT

12-13

LETTUCE

14-19

WSU PAGES

20-21

INTERVIEW - SEHAI ORGAD

22-25

FEATURE - ADDICTION

26

PUZZLES

27

COMICS

28

FOOD

29-37

COLUMNS AND REVIEWS

38

GIG GUIDE

39

THE BUSTED PAGE

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EDITORIAL WITH KATE ESCAPISM Welcome to my new addiction. I’m going to love you intensely until I can’t get enough and at the end of it all you’ll see me dragged away, screaming in tongues and looking like an emaciated crack whore. Here’s hoping. Hi I’m Kate. Know me before you judge me. Some of us are more compulsive than others. I consider myself genetically predetermined to a life of slavery. Upon discovering something new which tickles my fancy I become obsessive. Irrationally, I form habits on impulse. I’ll throw caution to the wind and give anything a go. That’s the beauty of it all, being up in the air. Coming down is the hard part. I’m not talking about illegal drugs, it’s not just chemicals. You can try to make substances the scapegoat but really, we’re addicted to the thrill of it. Our desires drive us. It’s all about the rush, the enhancement to everyday life. We each have our own tendencies towards common addictions. Many of us rely on caffeine to replace the basics our brains need. Technology is taking over our lives as we religiously check Facebook or spend hours gaming; we can’t live without a mobile phone (except for Art but everyone knows he communicates with his minions by telepathy) or the latest version iProduct. We drink, we smoke, we fuck, we toke – synthetic cannabinoids from the corner store. All of my addictions are an escape, an escape from reality. I want you to be my alternate reality. Let the frontier of fantasy become blurred like a hazy weekend at the neighbours. But what happens when the escape takes over? Your mind is a powerful thing. It will trick you into anything but it also holds the secret to your escape. The things we enjoy draw us in because of the chemical responses they trigger in our brains. We do the things we like again and again. The new fad becomes habitual and a priority over previous routine. We forget we used to find joy in other things. The everyday loses lustre as the fascination intensifies. Suddenly life doesn’t feel right without it. Normality becomes a parallel universe. But never fear, the way out is in there, somewhere. Your brain can accomplish amazing things, it’s all about application. We assume important tasks aren’t interesting but they could be. If you put the effort in and engage your brain, you can find that glimmer of hope. Work from that. See how far you can go. Instead of running away, take it on. If you can’t salvage some sense of enjoyment, whatever you’re doing isn’t for you! The essence of life is making your reality worth living. You want something unique. Own your life. Be addicted to reality.

We all find different things appealing. Everybody’s brain works differently. Our beliefs are based on theories which make sense to us personally. I for one, vaguely accept some astrology depending on whether it seems to fit. Most of you will call bullshit, but I let the Birthday Book be my bible. Those like me born on the day of nimble time are warned to ‘avoid escapism in its manifold guises’. I keep this piece of advice in my pocket like a second conscience, to have and to hold, ‘til death do us part. However one should never follow blindly in another’s opinion. Just as when I’m married I’ll occasionally tell my husband to go fuck himself, I counterbalance said counsel with my own choice. It’s up to you after all. You are the most important factor in your life. Is it essentially escapism if you’re true to yourself? Find the rise in the fall and go for it. Live the dream. Do what you believe you’re here for and I’ll consider my presentiment: “May 30 people usually head for the top and will get there unless their own ability to produce chaos sabotages them.” Wish me luck.


PREZ SEZ

89 FM GOING, GOING GONE…. BUT NOT FOR LONG?

The ongoing debate over the use of the 89FM frequency seems to be nearing an end. The Waikato Student Unions license of the frequency is set to expire on the 2nd of April 2011 and at the time of print that means that if you tune in you should hear static.

Waikato General Careers Expo 2011

89.0 FM has been a mainstay on the Hamilton radio landscape for over two decades now. The most notable tenant has perhaps been Contact FM, which has been revived by the Independent Broadcast Community and is currently at home on 88.1. Other stations that have been located there include The Generator, Buzzard FM, and most recently Rush FM. Around ten years ago, under Voluntary Student Membership, the WSU entered into a lease agreement with independent operators who tried to make more commercial programming choices with limited success. The WSU has recently terminated the lease for breaches of the conditions in the contract. So where to from here? The likely course of action taken by the Ministry for Culture and Heritage (who assign frequencies) will be to maintain radio silence for a few months before seeking applications for the frequency based on a community centered criteria.

Come down to the University of Waikato General Careers Expo to discover what options are available to you on the completion of your studies. It’s a great chance for you to establish relationships and networks with companies in your chosen academic field, and seek some great career advice. DATE: Wednesday 13th April TIME: 10am - 2pm VENUE: Academy of Performing Arts

For more information phone 0800 WAIKATO or visit www.waikato.ac.nz

The WSU has decided to bid for the frequency. We believe in the content being generated by communities like Contact FM. We believe that it is important for students to have a voice, and the 89FM frequency is the perfect platform to express that voice. The truth is that mainstream radio isn’t reflective of student living and the diversity that we encounter on campus on a daily basis. We believe we can put a strong bid in for renewal and we are ready to put up a fight for it. We recognise the need to be involved in the active management of the frequency; particularly as we move into the new VSM era of students’ associations. We also believe that a number of you are ready and willing to help us, so keep watching this space. Deni Tokunai WSU President 027 5734241 president@wsu.org.nz

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MAGIC 8-BALL

On the darkest night of the year, when cities hide and pray for sunrise, when children are born with cloven feet and mothers toss them out into the night, the 8-Ball spins above the Earth. It watches and waits, choosing its victims with no rhyme or reason. A thousand years of darkness await you! Shake your balls and pray for answers to draw you up from the abyss you are being devoured by! Where’s your Messiah now? He’s crying, because now is the time of the 8-Ball! Bring fire or flood, the 8-ball demands only one thing from you: EVERYTHING! Now take thy trembling hands and make a sign of the Cross, lest tonight is the night ye be snatched up. Can you actually be addicted to video games? Reply Hazy Speaking as an ex-World of Warcraft player and all around gamer, I’m inclined to say yes. However, it depends on your definition of addiction. Though the development of physical addiction is debatable, it’s very easy to build an emotional dependency on video games. This is especially prevalent in games where other people rely on you ingame or you’re heavily competing with other players. Another reason is: real life sucks, and fantasy is awesome. I could go on about this, but I have some Minecraft to play.

Should they legalise marijuana? Reply Smokey Though I don’t use the stuff myself, I think marijuana should be as legal as alcohol is. Whether marijuana is less harmful for the user as opposed to alcohol are debatable. It should be legalised so it can be controlled and monitored. Why? Drug dealers in tinny houses don’t care if a kid is over 18 and all mind altering drugs are really harmful during teenage years. I’d like to see marijuana legalised just to stop 14 year olds rotting their brains out before they hit puberty. Making it illegal also increases the mental barrier associated with it, preventing people who could really benefit from it (such as chemotherapy patients and cancer sufferers) from using it simply because it is illegal. The stigma and evil associated with this handy drug is absolutely retarded and reflective of the mass hysteria we’re fed everyday... Oh yeah something funny… err apple bongs are wicked awesome – you can eat the apple afterwards and it’ll make you more stoned. Should smokers be paying higher taxes? Reply cancerous They already are, the tax on tobacco is already really high, and stupidly the tobacco tax money doesn’t go towards something useful like Quit Line or government subsidized quitting medication or at least into ACC/public health in order to cover the lung cancer cases. But smoking is a filthy habit so we should hate and treat smokers like crap for making a stupid decision early in their life. Don’t badger or judge smokers, its a hard thing to quit and I’m yet to meet a smoker that didn’t regret starting. The best thing you can do is not start smoking and make sure those around you don’t resort to smoking either. Don’t vilify smokers; some of my favourite people are smokers.

Waikato General Careers Expo 2011 Come down to the University of Waikato General Careers Expo to discover what options are available to you on the completion of your studies. It’s a great chance for you to establish relationships and networks with companies in your chosen academic field, and seek some great career advice. DATE: TIME: VENUE:

For more information phone 0800 WAIKATO or visit www.waikato.ac.nz 6

Wednesday 13 April 10am - 2pm Academy of Performing Arts


NEWS NEXUS EDITOR TO SHAVE FOR KIDS Thousands of New Zealanders will be joining forces and taking a razor to their heads this week for Shave for a Cure, a weeklong fundraiser run by The Leukaemia and Blood Foundation.

Unenthusiastic as they were, they still believed it to be a great way to raise awareness for sufferers of blood cancer. “Yeah, sounds pretty good”.

The yearly fund-raiser supports the 10,000 New Zealand children and adults living with a blood cancer like leukaemia, lymphoma, myeloma or other related conditions, and the many who suffer hair loss as a result of life saving treatments chemotherapy and radiotherapy.

Participants can choose to shave individually or in groups, entire schools are even getting behind the fundraiser, with this year’s top contributor’s so far named as Waimea College, Kingsway School and Bucklands Beach Intermediate.

Since its 1999 debut, Shave for a Cure has grown into a national movement, with New Zealanders registering themselves and dobbing their friends and loved ones in for the cause.

On the 13th of April, Waikato student Melanie Matthews will be shaving her hair off on the Village Green, with all proceeds going to the LBF.

We went out onto the Village Green to see if any students were sacrificing their hair for the sake of those worse off, only to our surprise that most didn’t even know about the cause itself, while many were hesitant at the question of shaving themselves.

Nexus Editor Art Robinson will be joining her in this.

One student said he’d have to think about it, “[I] could be tempted to, since it’s for a good cause”, while another refused anything from his body to be shaved, as he hasn’t “got much hair to spare”.

Buckets will be on hand to help collect the cash. For information about signing up to fundraise, go to www. shaveforacure.co.nz.

SIFE: CHEAP POWERADE AND HIGH IDEALS Students in Free Enterprise Waikato, a non-profit club that encourages students to make a difference in their wider communities, are competing in the Oxfam Trailwalker this Saturday. The Oxfam Trailwalker is labelled as the world’s greatest team challenge, where teams of four walk 100k in 36 hours around Lake Taupo, and must commit to raising at least $2000 for their efforts. The annual fundraising event is organized and promoted by Oxfam New Zealand, a Charity that supports poverty and injustice. SIFE Waikato member Greg Johnston said they were latecomers to the challenge, but decided the opportunity to raise money for poverty has been more than worth it. Since then, they’ve been asking everybody possible to fund them. “We’ve hit up family and friends, and tried to get local businesses on board”. Made up of 2nd and 3rd year business management students, SIFE Waikato will be going that one step further to raise money by arranging a barbeque on the Village Green on Tuesday April 5th. It will run from about 11am-2pm, and will be offering $2 sausages and $1 powerades, with the goal of reaching their fundraising target of $4000.

The money raised will go towards Oxfam Charity, and the Canterbury Earthquake cause. At the time of writing, SIFE Waikato already had $565 raised. If you would like make a donation, or find out more about Oxfam, head to http://www.oxfam.org.nz/oxfam_trailwalker/.

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Do I need to insure my car?

JUST ONE LAYER OF CLOTHING PROTECTS YOUR SKIN IF YOU COME OFF

Julia has just bought a car (after checking carefully its condition and whether money was owed on it) and wants to know whether she should insure it. She only paid $2,000 for the car. Yes, yes, yes! CAB sees far too many students who have had an accident and are not insured and are liable for both their damage and the other car’s damage (which could amount to thousands of dollars). If you can not afford full insurance, then take out 3rd party insurance so you are covered if you damage another car or property. The Hamilton Area Citizens Advice Bureau provides advice and information from four locations. They are at 55 Victoria St (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm), 70 Kent St Frankton (Mon-Fri 9am-4.30pm), Garden Place (Mon-Fri 11am-2pm) and the Cowshed at the University (Tues-Thurs 1-3pm). They also have legal, advocacy and consumer services available where you can get more specialised help. Phone the CAB on 0800 367 222 (0800 FOR CAB) or look at the CAB website www.cab.org.nz

scootersurvival.co.nz 347774-ACC5795-PressFile new.indd 1

15/03/11 4:29 PM

40

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OFF

jeans shoes

jeans

* You must show your current 2011 Student ID * The first 200 purchases on this offer score a $30 CBD Bar voucher * Only redeemable at Texas Radio - Shop 1, Worley Place * Offer valid until 30 April 2011 *Other conditions may apply

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NEWS GHOULISH GIRLS WANT YOUR COIN! This Wednesday Bar 101 will be holding a quiz night to raise funds for the local Hamilton Roller Derby team. The quiz will have bar tabs and spot prizes up for grabs, $4 handles all night, and one round solely dedicated to derby questions.

All money raised at the quiz night will go towards holding the first ever Roller Derby bout in Hamilton. The Roller Ghouls have competed in three previous bouts as a league against Auckland and Taranaki.

Roller Derby is an all female contact sport, based on formation roller skating around an oval track by two teams. Points are scored as the designated scoring player (the jammer) of each team laps members of the opposing team, including its blockers; hence offense and defense typically occur simultaneously.

New members, dubbed ‘fresh meat’, are welcome to join the fastgrowing adrenaline based sport, with trainings held at the Melville Skate Rink on Sunday 1pm – 3pm. The first session is free, and all required is derby quad skates, helmet, mouth guard, hard shell elbow and knee pads, and wrist guards.

The Hamilton League is called the ‘Hellmilton Roller Ghouls’, and is a nonprofit league run entirely by skaters, says member Kate Magazinovic.

Tickets for the quiz night can be bought from Team Seven Hair Salon on Anglesea St, or through the Hellmilton Roller Ghouls facebook page. Each ticket guarantees a free drink and entry into a raffle.

“We don’t get any funding as we aren’t recognised as a sport, so we have to do all the work to earn the money ourselves, hence quiz night.”

Teams should be arranged at 7pm at Bar 101, and the quiz itself starts at 8pm sharp.

SHORT NEWS FOR TALL PEOPLE REALLY, THEY STILL MAKE PEZ? No news story has gotten the newsroom more excited than the news that sweet dispensing company Pez have made Wills and Kate Pez dispensers. As a reporter who had both Ninja Turtle and Ducktales Pez dispensers, the news they still exist is more shocking than the Royal Couple featuring in them. When asked what the differences were between the real couple and the Pez version a spokeswoman commented “Wills has more hair in the Pez version....and the whole head bends back.” Of course if Kate’s whole head could bend back in real life he would have married her years ago.

SERIOUSLY UK? Last Week England’s Prime Minister unveiled his newest staff member: Larry the Mice Catching Cat. Apparently Larry was brought to Downing Street to combat a recent mouse epidemic. With growing unemployment, military action on three fronts and the most radical social spending cuts since Maggie Thatcher, we are pretty sure protesters were scanning the news to see an in depth profile on Larry the fucking Cat!

CHIVALRY ISN’T DEAD In a poll of nearly 2,000 adults 58% of woman believe both people should split the bill on a first date, a further 14% suggested it depends on who suggested the date. Only 29% of men believed in a shared bill and 90% of men believed that it was their responsibility to organise the date. Comparatively 25 % of woman surveyed believed that the man should pay... spoiler alert... they’re attractive.

JINGOISTIC BIRDS Angry Birds are taking on global terror. In a move reminiscent of the Justice League taking on the Nazi’s those crazy birds have moved on from pigs and are now attacking dictators. The latest incarnation found on youtube sees the birds attack Ben Ali, Mubarak and finally Kadhafi who is destroyed in the final scene by a red white and blue. Nexus news thought about buying the future app but thought we would wait for the prequel when the birds lovingly ignore the regime of the dictators after installing them as a pro bird democracy. It appears the angry birds world was built on massive reserves of oil. The only problem is no one seems to win.

COLOUR ME A HEROIN ADDICT. Three inmates and their loved ones were charged last week after attempting to smuggle Subozone into an American prison. Subozone, a drug primarily used in the treatment of heroin addiction, was dissolved into a paste then smothered over children’s colouring books with a note that said “to Dad”. Children’s cartoons would have you believe the smarter move would have been to putt the smothered pages underneath the birthday cake with the file inside.

IN RELATED NEWS A new survey shows that 83% of men don’t listen to the GPS and don’t like getting directions. We think it’s great they are running surveys on information we could have got from bad 80s stand up comedy. Other revelations from the survey might include: people hate airline food, get annoyed at their wife constantly nagging them and don’t like Reagan. 9


SPORTS THOUGHTS

WITH C-BALL

DAMN SOUTH AFRICA, YOU AINT GON’ BE IN RUSH HOUR 3 It’s tough being awesome; just ask the South African Cricket team. They go to the World Cup as favourites, and as per usual spend the build up being talked about by the media as definite title contenders. The choking word comes up, also as usual, but the South African players are ready to quell these fears, insisting they are composed and completely ready to handle any opposition they come across. They say this and we believe it to be true, because when you look at their team you can’t deny the evident class and power scattered throughout the line up. They currently have the two highest ranked batsmen in World Cricket, and on the bowling charts have players sitting at 4th and 6th respectively. Obviously they never played Super Mario Karts on Nintendo 64 though, because they always end up spinning out on that proverbial banana peel dropped by that bastard, Bowser. However, when the choking word comes up, another thing happens. The South Africans panic and start believing that talking about themselves, and highlighting how great they are, will solve the issue and calm the waters. You haven’t seen true arrogance until you hear a South African sportsman talk about himself or his team. Take the inexperienced 26 year old South African batsman Faf du Plessis, also known as Francios, who is one of the biggest raging douche bags around. He had an interview with cricket’s most respected online journalism source, Cricinfo, and spent the time saying humble shit about how he knows his game “better than most other 26 year olds”. How on earth can a chump that has played 10 International Cricket games with a high score of 60 make such a broad statement? How many other 26 year old cricket

players does he know? As for the ones he does, has he statistically graphed how they know their game, then compared it to his and discovered he does indeed know his game better? How do you even measure this ‘knowing of game’? He wasn’t finished though. He then had to talk about how he never felt like he didn’t belong in his national team, because being such an arrogant critter meant he was pretty much a shoe in for any and all South African sports outfits. The best part of it all was during the game between South Africa and New Zealand, after the South Africans has talked about how New Zealand would not be a problem, that they were completely prepared and had the perfect balance to win the World Cup. They crashed and burned harder than Amelia Earhart. Almost poetically, when South Africa was beginning to wobble in chase of New Zealand’s score, Faf du Plessis came walking out to bat, and I sat watching expecting to see some awesome player who’d carry his team to a crushing victory. He’d seemed so confident. Instead, he ran out his team’s best chance at winning in A.B. de Villiers, who is also currently the world’s best batsman, then copped abuse from every New Zealand player out there. Du Plessis was then faced with having to win the game himself, and used all of that vast 10 game experience to flail around pathetically, drawing out the harsh reality that once again South Africa had failed miserably when possessing all the right tools to do the job. If you watch Rush Hour 2 closely, right at the end a guy gets punted out of a window and falls several stories to his death. If you look really closely, you can see it’s the South African Cricket team. When you look at the South African team, and then at the New Zealand team, you wonder how they managed to lose. I can understand how crap they must feel now. I’m imagining having my 4 year old double amputee brother beating me in Backyard Cricket. I guess in some sentimental bullshit way, the team that believed they deserved to win before playing the game lost, and the team willing to work for the win won. Damn, I should take some philosophy papers, because if that isn’t inspiring I don’t know what is. Chicka-chicka semi-finals (where Sri Lanka is probably obliterated us).

10


HAMILTON EAST POLICE REPORT

15TH - 28TH MARCH 2011

WITH CONSTABLE NICK SICKELMORE

In the last fortnight there were 44 burglaries that occurred in the urban & rural areas of Hamilton East. As shown on the map, the majority of the burglaries have occurred in several cluster areas around the vicinity of the University. On talking to one victim that lives close to the university, he was asleep in his flat when the offender(s) entered via the unlocked ranch slider door.

QUESTION FROM THE POLICE: How often do you go to bed with your flat unlocked? If you have any information that might help Police resolve burglaries, please call the University Constable, Nick Sickelmore on 8582792 or e-mail nsj639@police.govt.nz

He wasn’t woken by the offenders, as they looked through the flat taking several electronic items, his wallet and food. The victim’s wallet was later recovered by University Security staff several days after the burglary on the University Campus. Please be careful at all times and make sure when you go to bed, that your flat is locked up tight. All kinds of individuals are walking around at night, looking for every opportunity to invite themselves into your flat. Home security advice is available from the East Hamilton Community Policing Centre on Clyde St. As a minimum precaution Police recommend recording the serial numbers of valuable items and storing that data somewhere safeother than on your laptop.

11


Lettuce Write to Win! SEND LETTERS TO: Send your letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

New Fans For Ancient Sport

Richardson: Not Alone Hey, I just wanted to write in and say that the guy in this weeks sex issue, (reffered to as Richardson?), shouldn’t feel so pressured by society to have sex and be crazy. I am a first year, female student and I really couldn’t care less for sex, I’ve been there had that and it isn’t what everyone makes it out to be, certainly not for girls most the time anyway. So yeah, he should be really proud of himself and know that there are others like him who just don’t want to be bothered with sex. Thanks

WEEKLY PRIZE: This week there is a prize! Brett from UniMart is kindly offering a $20 voucher to the writter of our letter of the week. Come to the Nexus office in the Student Union Building to collect your prize!

LETTERS POLICY: Nexus welcomes and encourages debate through the letters page, serious or not. Letters should be received by Wednesday 5pm on the week prior to publication. We’ll print basically any letter, but the editor reserves the right to abridge or refuse correspondence. Word count is limited to 250 words and we will enforce this as we please. We won’t correct your spelling and grammar either, so it’s up to you how much of an idiot you look like. Pseudonyms are okay (all correspondence must include your real name and contact details – they won’t be printed if you don’t want them to be). Send letters to nexus@waikato.ac.nz

Regards Abstinence Fan Come pick up your $20 UniMart voucher at the Nexus office in the WSU Building.

Family Law? Dear Nexus I am writing to have a rant to the fellow students of Family law. He who has found it difficult to speak in class from fear of rejection, abuse, evil looks and interruption please raise thy hand! Family Law is an emotionally difficult subject, one of which we all have divided opinions about but the past two lectures have been painful. Hey i’m all for debating, opinions and political input but it gets to a point where it has to be said - Seperate your EMOTIONS !!

To the WSU, Why do you insist on playing loud music every wednesday on the Village Green? Its really starting to fuck me off. There is no doubt in my mind that it also fucks off the majority of university business owners as it drives away there customers. You may not have noticed, but nobody really listens to it? In fact, they actively avoid it. Its got so bad that people actually go watch assorted losers play ‘Orc Ball’. Your music is worse than the smell of the lake. Regards, A new found Orc Ball spectator. BTW Act on Campus are trolls.

Waikato Psycho This isn’t something I would normally do as I believe that 90% of the people that write into Nexus are insufferable dicks. But being an insufferable dick, I just can’t hold my rant in any longer. With all the recent, devastating natural disasters being all anyone talks about anymore I have come to realize that 90% of my friends are fucking idiots. It would seem that a dam of human stupidity has broken and flooded Facebook with countless “Thinking of Japan/Christchurch.” statuses as well as a perplexing number of groups such as, “Let’s get 5,00,000 people to like this to show support for Japan.”

Put your Soon-to-be Lawyer head on and stop emotionally involving yourself!! I do not come to class to listen to other people rant about their own life and hardships. And blondie with the glasses sort yourself out your like a pitbull without a leash.

I have one question for you. WHY?!

Regards Please print anonymously Lawrant :)

If you want to do something get off your fat ass donate money, food, or clothes, something that will actually help.

What in the actual fuck do you think you are doing for these people that have sadly, no food, no clothes, and in some sadder cases no family?

THE NEXUS LETTER OF THE WEEK WINS A

$20 VOUCHER FROM UNIMART

CONVENIENCE STORE HERE ON CAMPUS

FOOD, DRINKS, SNACKS AND DAILY ESSENTIALS ALL IN ONE FRIENDLY LOCATION


Don’t worry, I know you’re a povo bitch but I am pretty sure that a family with nothing needs the $10 you spent on McDonalds on the way home from town more than you. Give whatever you can it all helps, unlike your dumb status clogging up my God damned News Feed! P.S. That MrMintyFish is a GB, and I’m not saying that because we are BFFLzzzzz. Patrick Bateman

Parkopalypse Now Dear Nexus I just want to put it out there..im pissed off at the lack of parking the uni provides! Everyday in order to get a park I have to get to uni before 9am! Regardless of whether or not I have class at that time. We are uni students, who the hell wants to get out of bed early? Also the parks out the front of the uni are for 2 hours. I doubt hardly anyone has only 1 hour a day of class? That’s all those parks give time for. Who wants to park their car on one of the side roads and walk the rest of the way? Does that not defeat the purpose. And to all those people out there who think I should maybe stop being a lazy shit..screw you. If I come to uni with a hangover-hangover it means I rocked on the weekend and the last thing I want to do is walk further than I have to. Yeah I guess on the odd occasion you can find one if your creepy enough to lurk behind the people who are leaving early, but that’s pretty rear. And Waikato has some pretty top park

Modern Student Reigns Supreme Dear Nexus This week, I write to you to have a bitch. What’s new. Something that has really been getting on my nerves as of late are the talkers. In every lecture, tutorial or workshop I go to, there will be a small group of students that do nothing but mutter to each other. Now, I have no problem with students asking questions or bringing up important points on the subject matter, however I do object to students that are apparently incapable of answering any questions the lecturer or tutor throws at them, and do nothing but chat to each other throughout the whole lesson. I work hard at my classes, I go to each and every one of them and I try my best to focus 100% of my attention on the person I am paying to teach me, because even though it may not seem like it now with our student loans lurking in the darkness, we are PAYING to be there. What is the point in going to a class when you don’t even listen? When you don’t even TRY? All you do is sit there and piss the rest of the class off. Seriously. I know for a fact that I am not the only one to be infuriated by this, and I ask you politely to sit there and STFU. From your favorite Modern Student P.S. I have noticed that there is a particular demographic that tends to do the talking, however I will save that for a future letter, I will leave the race wars to the basketball players for now.

stalking competition. Sort It out Waikato, maybe build a parking complex or something. That would make me happy. Cheers Pissed-off parker.

No to Racism Hey, you guys, calm down, seems you two are turning to be racists now. After reading your pieces, as an International student, I think it is pretty reasonable to speak for most of Asians and IS.

Firstly, I partly agree with you, Ron and Charlie. I don’t like they talk with each other loudly during lecture, it may disturb other students and disrespect the lecturers. But I just want to clarify that it is not all the IS the same!!! I admit it is true that some Asian students are very shy to talk to others (Kiwi), I think that is probably because they are not proficient at English. They maybe feel less confident to chat with you (native speakers). Secondly, people from different communities have different thoughts, and the ways toward others. It does take time for them to adjust. Please be generous toward students from different culture backgrounds. Another important thing I have to mention is that in classes, in my experience, most kiwi students (NOT ALL THE KIWIS)tended to avoid the Asian students and actively avoid us in group-work. I’d to say that most international students found it is difficult to interact with young New Zealanders who they feel are not accepting of them or are not interested in interacting with them, though the international students are willing to interact with them and tried to do so. I wondering why? Because our poor English speaking? Or we do not study hard enough? Or…………racist? You tell me!! J

The Beauty and the Wonder of Steven Salmon Dear Nexus That is not my name, you now have one strike. If you weren’t so awesome you would have two. Keep being awesome and get people’s names right or you will face my wrath and incur more strikes. You have been warned Steven Salmon

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VP SPEAK Nau mai, piki mai Piki mai, koutou ngā whiti tua Piki mai koutou whiti mai Piki mai ngā poutokomanawa o ngā Whare Maire Tāhuhu kau ana ko ngā maunga nei Whakapōkarekare kau ana o ngā awa nei Ko te moana I hoehoe ai e rātou Ka mōkaia te tangata Ka pania Tīhei mauri ora. “The land and waters have nearly all been taken now in a raupatu that seems to have no end… they seem determined not to hear what our people say.” Te Ataria 1889 Hone Harawira discussed the Marine and Coastal Area (Takutai Moana) Bill and his opposition to it on Friday the 18th March at the University of Waikato. He had two separate seminars, in which a total of 50 people attended. The thrust of his talk was that although the bill repeals the highly

WITH TOKO

controversial Foreshore and Seabed Act 2004 and supposedly removes the Crown title or ownership, it is still based on the same injustices. He identified what he believed to be 3 main injustices: - The first is that there is still confiscation of iwi and hapū rights to the foreshore and seabed, except that in the new Act this confiscation is disguised through a Crown construct of ‘common space in the marine and coastal area.’ What this effectively means is that the Crown will no longer have ownership, as they have claimed that they do since colonization. This land will be considered to be owned by no- one. However the Crown will still make rules about it, meaning that they will continue to exercise their title. Note that the bill allows for Māori to claim customary interest, but to do so if virtually impossible. Iwi and hapū would have to prove continuous and exclusive use and occupation of the area since 1840.

which Māori have interests in, it does not affect non- Māori interests. - Furthermore it requires that Māori with interests in the foreshore and seabed must provide public access, but does not impose the same requirement to people with nonMāori interests. Nāreira Māori mā, if you agree with Hone Harawira’s views stand up tall and strong like an oak tree, and oppose this bill so that they don’t just take your tino rangatiratanga. So get up, stand up… stand up for your rights! Toko Baker VP Māori Waikato Students’ Union 027 2065126 vpmaori@wsu.org.nz

- The second injustice is that it is still highly discriminatory as it only confiscates areas

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WSU SERVICE SPOTLIGHT:

CLUBS

One of the key activities of the Waikato Students’ Union is to support clubs. We believe that clubs and associations are a major part of the social aspect of university: they provide a great opportunity to meet new friends who share the same interests as you. At Waikato, there are heaps of WSUaffiliated clubs that exist to provide for these similar interests. For example, perhaps you are Tongan, and looking to meet some other Tongan students? You might want to join the Uni-Tech Tonga Association! Or perhaps you are Catholic and looking to meet other Catholic students? In this case, you could join WaiCath. Alternatively, you might be interested in public relations and communication? Perhaps you should look at joining the Management Communication Students Association! All of the clubs above are groups of students who have formally affiliated with the WSU. Introducing Clubs So what is a club? Well, in effect, a club is a group of at least ten people who are associated with each other through some form of common interest, whether cultural, religious, sporting, hobby, professional, or something else. As far as the WSU is concerned, we don’t really mind what your club is about – you just have to show that you have some common interest in mind, and that your club’s own goals are consistent with the broader aim of the WSU to facilitate campus culture.

We have a huge number of clubs in existence at Waikato: if you just walk around campus you can see posters all over the walls advertising the various clubs that WSU supports. Whether it’s the History Club, Amnesty International or the Waikato Law Students’ Association, many of the groups on campus are affiliated WSU Clubs. Supporting Clubs In other words, clubs can help you to meet with more people: friends that you can socialize with and get to know your university life. WSU sees this as an important aspect of campus culture and, as a result, provides WSU-affiliated clubs with help and support. One way that we support all of these clubs is through the employment of a Clubs’ Coordinator: the very lovely Dianne Sweeney. You can email her at clubs@wsu.org.nz for all your clubs-related enquiries. Dianne has the job of overseeing and developing clubs on campus. She ensures you receive an administration grant once affiliated and can help clubs or groups that want to plan events. She also helps organise WSU events which encourage clubs on campus, such as Clubs Day during O-week. Dianne is also the person you need to see if you have an idea for you own club: flick her an email and she can provide help and support to set up and affiliate a new club on campus. Joining an Existing Club Hopefully by now you are thinking that clubs are pretty awesome. It seems many students agree: there are over 50 WSU-affiliated clubs here at Waikato University, which (when combined) represent around 4000 WSU members. From the Waikato Cube Club, who are a Rubiks cube club, to the Independent Broadcasting Community, who operate Contact FM, we have something for everyone. But how do you join one (or perhaps even six?) of these clubs? If you’re reading this at home, then the best place to start is the WSU website: www.wsu.org.nz. From there, hover

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PICTURE LOG CLUBS ON CAMPUS


your mouse over the “clubs” section of the menu and then click on the “club contacts” link. If this seems a bit complicated, then you can just type http://www.wsu.org.nz/ pages/club-contacts.html into your web browser, which will take you to the same place. Doing either of these will bring up the full list of WSU Clubs, complete with names, descriptions, and contact details. From there, all you have to do is email the contact person for the club of your choice. If computers aren’t your thing, then that’s fine too: come and see us! Simply ask Anny at reception for a full list of clubs and if you want more in-depth info just ask for Dianne who can go through the clubs list with you and provide you with the contact details for the club or association that you are keen to join. Starting your own Club What if you find yourself thinking, ‘well, I really like the idea of clubs, but I’m really interested in cats – there doesn’t seem to be a club for me’. If this is the case for you, don’t worry – the excitement of starting your own club awaits! If you’re keen to start your own club, come in and see Dianne, the WSU Clubs’ Co-ordinator, who can provide you with all the details. Clubs who affiliate to the WSU get cool things like a $20 photocopying credit, an $80 grant, a free barbecue hire, and greater access to WSU and University support. Affiliated clubs are able to apply for other grants for identified projects which in the past this have been used to sponsor conference attendance, uniforms, and events such as Pride Week. Affiliated clubs are also encouraged to use the Clubs’ room in the WSU Building (where you’ll find Dianne ready to help out) with photocopy and computer facilities available (and being affiliated allows you to sometimes book rooms in the University) – a great service that is useful for clubs meetings and events. Affiliated clubs are also able to advertise themselves in the WSU “Club Corner” in Nexus. If you’re keen to do this, then we’d love to hear from you – email Charlie at vp@wsu.org.nz for more details on what you need to do.

Here’s a list of all the clubs which existed at the end of 2010. More are likely to spring forth with the coming months.

Final Thoughts Let’s face it: everyone wants friends, and that’s why WSU actively supports clubs. We have clubs for everything, including academic groups, groups that want to help you go on overseas exchanges, sporting groups, religious groups… the list goes on. Joining or starting a WSU Club is a great way to meet other like-minded people while you study at Waikato, so come and see our Clubs’ Coordinator today!

AIESEC - Waikato Inc Amnesty International At Waikato Uni Arise Church in Hamilton ASKEW Earth and Ocean Science Society East Timor Students Club Eastside Church Young Adults Golden Key International Honour Society Waikato Greens On Campus H. S. Club Hamilton International Christian Fellowship Hamilton Saudi Club Hamilton Star University Cricket Club Independent Broadcasting Community Latter-day Saints Students Association Management Communications Students Assn Mandarin Cross Culture Club Pacific Law Students Assn Pinoy Club Psychology Student Support Group Red Tie (Hong ling jin) Solomon Islands Community of Waikato Students of Arts and Social Sciences (SASS) Te Ranga Ngaku The Fair Trade Club The History Club The Waikato Composes Camerata Unite on Campus (Waikato) Unity Dance Collective University of Waikato Alpine Club University of Waikato Christian Club University of Waikato Handball Club UoW Chemistry Club V- Likeminds Clubs Varsity-Hamilton East Cricket Club WAICATH Waikato Cube Club Waikato Indian Students Club Waikato Management School Student Association Waikato Omani Club Waikato Student Life Waikato Uni Muslim Club Waikato UNICOL AFC (Inc) Waikato University Amalgamated Gamers Club Waikato University Arab Futsal Club Waikato University Biology Society Waikato University Cook Island Association Waikato University Debating Society Waikato University Hockey Club Waikato University Law Student Association Waikato University Malaysian Association Waikato University Netball Club Waikato University Pacific Island Student Assn Waikato University Psychology Students’ Assn Waikato University Rugby Football Club Inc. Waikato University Ski and Snowboard Club Young Engineers Society Young Labour Young Nationals

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SAVING OF THE WEEK: CONTENTS INSURANCE

Welcome to the third edition of our new Student Saving of the Week page. If you missed last’s week edition, this is the page where we outline an expense item that could save you money. It might be something expensive, like contents insurance (such as this week), or it might be something a bit more down-to-earth like where you can get the cheapest fish ‘n’ chips! In any case, flick to this page each week to see where you could be saving money. This week we had a look at contents insurance. For those who don’t know, contents insurance is a type of insurance that covers your household contents. According to AA, this includes stuff like the furniture, the photos, the electronics, appliances and personal possessions that you depend on, treasure and use every day. Contents insurance covers you for loss to these items, such as loss arising from fire or theft. In our case, we provided the following profile to the insurance companies: • 19 year old male going flatting for the first time • Renting in Hamilton East in a house with 5 people • No burglar alarm (this can lower premiums if you have one) • No previous contents insurance • $20 000 of contents to insure. • No super expensive items (eg: a $4000 computer)

We asked all the major insurance companies for a quote. Some of them only provide insurance at present day value: in other words, they only pay your stuff to the value that it is worth today. So, while you might have bought your camera for $2000, you’re only going to get its second hand value if

We’ve shown all of this information in the table below. We’ve got the premiums, which is the amount that you pay to the insurance company per year. We’ve also shown the excess, which is the amount deducted if you make a claim (so if you claimed for $1000 of stuff from AA, you would only

you claim on it. Other insurance companies provide replacement value: they replace the items with ones of similar specifications. So, if you bought a brand new laptop one month ago, you’re likely to get this replaced with the same thing. Finally, some insurance companies provide a combination policy, where things like appliances and furniture are replaced, but things like clothes are only insured for present day value.

actually get $800. We’ve also shown if the insurance companies cover theft by unforced entry (for example: if you left the door open and someone robbed you), and if there is a maximum number of flatmates you can have in the house. No insurance company will cover you if your flatmates rob you (and in some cases if their guests rob you), so make sure you don’t live with muppets!

All of the insurance companies we asked also provide $1,000,000 of personal liability insurance in their contents policy. This basically covers you for damage that you do to someone else’s property: for example, if you burn down the house, the personal liability insurance will cover you if the landlord asks you to pay for the house to be replaced. Check with your insurance company what specifically it covers, as they are all a bit different.

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Again, as we said last week: the information in the table is just a guide, so don’t trust your life on it! Things might have changed since we rang the insurance companies, or we might have even made a mistake when we copied it down. Similarly, just because one company was the cheapest in our test, doesn’t mean it will come out cheap for you: do your own research and find out which insurer is best for your own circumstances!


CLUB CORNER: PICTURE LOG GREENS ON CAMPUS

GREENS ON CAMPUS Do you have concerns for the environment and social justice issues? Then maybe Greens on Campus is the club for you! The Greens on Campus are the youth wing of the Green Party of Aotearoa in Parliament, but you don’t need to be a member of the Green Party to join! Our members come from all across the university, and from all walks of life. You may have noticed us on clubs day, or tried our fantastic brownies. If you didn’t, here is a little bit of info about us. We are a club that concerns ourselves with the environment and social justice. We are a bunch of proactive, compassionate students who are motivated to be the change, rather than sitting around waiting for change to happen. We have attended protests, tree planting days, camps, tramps, and a variety of amazing activities. Naturally we’re pretty keen on protecting our beautiful planet, and our environmental and conservation activism has focused on saving our national parks from mining, stopping whaling in our southern oceans and of course, the big C, climate change This year is going to be a big one for us, what with the general election coming up in November. So we will be preparing for that. We will be helping out with the Green Party

campaign, which we have already started by hosting a successful quiz night fundraiser. We will also be involved in the campaign to retain MMP: an issue that we believe is very important in keeping parliament fair and representative. Besides the election we are also working on the fantastic UniCycle project that promotes recycling and sustainability to students. Also coming up is fair trade fortnight, which many members of the club are getting involved with. We will be hosting a camp in Raglan, as well as hikes, volunteer work, stalls on the village green, and film nights. So why not get involved!? We will be having our fortnightly meeting in J.B.07 during cultural hour this Wednesday, so come along and get involved with the Greens on Campus! Find us on facebook by searching ‘greens on campus waikato’, or email us at goc.waikato@gmail.com to be added to the email list and keep informed on all the neato stuff we are up to.

SCOOTER SAFETY CAMPAIGN SAYS BARE SKIN AND TAR SEAL NOT A GOOD MIX This Friday scooters clad in brightly coloured fabrics will be cruising around the Waikato

and jandals. “You only need to run your hand over the road to get a feel for what

University, encouraging young scooter riders to cover up to reduce the seriousness of injuries in a crash. The scooters are part of ACC’s ‘Add another layer’ campaign, which targets riders aged 15 to 24 and follows rising ACC scooter-related claims and costs.

can happen when bare skin meets tar seal. Without any protection, you have a much greater chance of more serious injury.”

“Since 2005, we’ve received an estimated 500 new scooter-related claims in the Waikato region,” says Keith McLea, ACC’s General Manager of Insurance and Prevention Services. “The estimated cost of support for all injured scooter riders in the region during this period was approximately $400,000.” Dr McLea says that during the warmer months, it’s not uncommon to see young scooter riders dressed in tee-shirts, shorts

To help scooter riders avoid injuries, ACC recommends the following safety tips: • Cover up all bare skin • Wear a full-face helmet • Choose bright coloured gear over black or grey, to help drivers see you • Ride with lights on at all times • Stay alert for drivers who may suddenly switch lanes without seeing you. More safety tips are available at www.scootersurvival.co.nz

OPEN: 8.30am-4.30pm PHONE: 07 856 9139 WEB: www.wsu.org.nz

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Sehai Orgad, a former president of the Waikato Student’ Union, is running for the Hamilton East seat under the Labour flag. A graduate of Fairfield College and the MIGHTY UNIVERSITY OF WAIKATO, Sehai has always been passionate about us, the young, under represented voice of New Zealand. We were lucky enough to speak with her for an entire hour, and got to the root of what Sehai Orgad is all about. NEXUS: Tell us about yourself. What has your life held up to the start of this year? SEHAI: I’m 30 years old, and what 30 years has taught me is to never assume anything in this world and I guess that’s what I’ve based my last few years on. What have I done? My background is in policy and communication; social welfare policy to be exact. I did my masters on how social welfare policies are designed and then communicated to people from low social economic backgrounds. I was working in advocacy before that and got to know a lot of people from Fairfield in Hamilton. Fairfield is actually is one of the most deprived communities in New Zealand. In 2005 I was the Women’s Rights Officer for the WSU, because I knew I wanted to be WSU President. I was elected president in 2006. I knew politics was absolutely what I wanted to do and I identified the student union as a way of getting my teeth sunk into something political. So, I went into politics and as the woman’s rights officer achieved some great things, including getting the women’s room sorted out. NEXUS: Did it exist before? The women’s room? SEHAI: It did but it was underutilised. People didn’t really know about it and the people that did know about it didn’t really like to use it because it was quite stink. So we gave it a paint job and made it a bit more fun for people and babies to come in and hang out. NEXUS: Is that something you feel is still a required space on campus? We’ve heard of people saying ‘Oh the gays don’t need a space, we accept them all’ and ‘we don’t need a adult learners space because there’s Momento’ and ‘we don’t need women’s space because there’s more women on campus then there are men’. SEHAI: From that position in 2005 and right through to the end of my term I thought 20

it was actually quite an important space to have. The majority of them had babies, and wanted to do things like breast feeding and just having space to chill out with their kids, where they knew they weren’t going to bother any other people. There are also women from different cultures who just needed to be in a women only space and that’s just for their own comfort. I was absolutely an advocate for providing that kind of space. I was quiet passionate about providing people with a safe space, essentially for them to come in and hang out. Women need to get stronger in a lot of different ways and I was all about trying to get help to this one little area, there was a area available, we had the resources to put it together, to make it brighter and make it better for people to hang out in, so we did. NEXUS: What were your steps between being here as president and going “I’m putting my hand. This is where I want to go; this is where I make my difference”? SEHAI: Being Hamilton East representative is something I’ve always identified as something I’ve wanted to do, and I’ve always found that my ideologies and philosophy is more in tune with Labour’s ideologies and definitely not with National’s. I always knew that Hamilton East, where I grew up, and I know our people and I have been motivated to put my hand up and represent them, so it’s not as if I suddenly decided ‘Oh yup there’s a position free, I’m gonna go for it’. NEXUS: Do you think students are not being involved enough in the political process? SEHAI: I can’t count how many times people have said to me: “don’t count on the student vote, it’s not reliable”. People are frequently saying these things.

These arguments are used as excuses to not spend a lot of time on campus with the students and listening to student concerns. students are the first ones to suffer from a lot of the policies that are being dished out. Look at unemployment today. Youth unemployment is high and that affects all of us. It affects our children, where 1 in 5 are in poverty, that effects us too because we’re going into a future where dealing with high levels of poverty for a very small country. Our economy is not recovering. What’s going to be there for us when we leave University? We’re trying to up skill, we’re trying to put back into our communities when we leave University and we don’t have the support there for us. For someone to come in and say “discount the student vote because they’re too apathetic”, is not good enough for me and I think that if people are saying that to me over and over again, it makes me think, “is this a real perspective that people have?” NEXUS: Why should students vote for you? What can you provide for students? SEHAI: I would say it’s about being able to relate to a candidate. We are in times where we’ve been devastated by a natural disaster and students are at the front line of bearing the mismanagement of the government. They are crying out for leadership that is decisive and that will actually do something. NEXUS: As a former member of the executive and then a president, what’s your take on the Voluntary Student Membership bill? SEHAI: It is heartbreaking because we spent a lot of time, resources, money and energy on building the Student Union up. In terms of stability, the WSU has had its ups and downs and now we’re seeing a stage where we’re


moving from one strength to the other with a new constitution, a new set of operational lines and directors who are coming on board who are being trained accordingly and are taking the responsibilities differently in a new attitude to that representation. Something such as VSM takes the WSU off course, because instead of looking at the operations for its members, now the organisation is going to focus on making sure that it can survive through voluntary.

“I can’t count how many times people have said to me: “don’t count on the student vote, it’s not reliable”. People are frequently saying these things”

NEXUS: There are a lot of people showing up on your candidacies Facebook page and making allegations about your support for this or that aspect of Israel, yet you are running for a seat in the Parliament of New Zealand, representing Hamilton East. Let’s see if we can get through the rumour and

We still have youth on the unemployment

speculation. How old were you when you left Israel. SEHAI: I was 7. NEXUS: And did all your high schooling here? SEHAI: Yes, I did all my high schooling here at Fairfield College. NEXUS: Have you ever served in the army of Israel? SEHAI: No, I have never served in the army Israel

generation New Zealander and I absolutely stand by that, because of my Mums side. Her mother was born Ohakune; my Mother was born in Hamilton and her mother was born in the Wiararapa.

NEXUS: So where do you think all this gossip and accusation is coming from? SEHAI: I think it comes from a long history of buying into what’s being sprayed into our media and not really looking at things critically. The “Israel question” is one that is going to come up again and again and that’s

So where does this come from? I think where ever you bring up Israel in the public forum or where ever you mention the country you’re going to get some sort of controversy. Israel’s had thousands of years of history and I think, being the place that it is, it is such a boiling

because I was born there and went back in

point of not only politics, but also religion.

2009 to research what happened to my family essentially. NEXUS: And from there you went up to Europe? SEHAI: I went to Eastern Europe. My father was born in what was known as Yugoslavia. The short version is that during the Second World War he was adopted by the partisan army. His parents were sent to camps, not the concentration camps thankfully but to labour camps, and he was taken by a man who was part of the resistance. After that he was one of the many refugees to Israel. That’s a really quick snapshot of my history. I have made claims about being a 4th

NEXUS: In terms of the current economic and social climate: Is it a case of us, as a nation, going into debt to make it better in the end, or should we work harder for what we’ve got? SEHAI: It is going to be expensive, but we’re funding money into things that don’t work, when we could be funding money into things that are absolutely proven to work. An example of this is Whanau Ora. It is absolutely a model that could work, absolutely successful, my research showed it, other research shows it, the poverty action group shows it. But the fact of the matter is that funding is going to get cut to that. The funds which were initially allocated were just a drop in the bucket.

I don’t shy away from it. It’s part of who I am, but if you are going to ask me about my view of the politics of Israel, then I think you should also ask me about the politics of Afghanistan and the US as well, but I prefer to talk about New Zealand politics because I am a New Zealander and I’m running for the Labour party of New Zealand. These issues have got nothing to do with my representation of Hamilton East. I’d rather be talking about the issues of the fact that our youth crimes are on the rise. We’ve got statistics shooting through the roof. I don’t want to be talking about Israel issues because it doesn’t affect us here in Hamilton East.

line because the current government’s youth unemployment schemes are incredibly limited. They aren’t working, obviously, because our youth unemployment rates are still high. These are prime example of how our funds are not being filtered into the right areas and now when it comes to the government saying “we’re out of money” and they’re using Christchurch as an alibi to cut Working for Families. This whole trend of slashing and cutting hasn’t proved to work in the past. NEXUS: What do you see for New Zealand’s future? Do you think things will get better before they get worse? SEHAI: Today, and under this government, I think it’s going to get worse before it gets better. That was indicated by the last Australian jobs summit that was here a few months ago. Six thousand young New Zealanders signed up to go to Australia to work. What does that say about keeping our young, skilled people here? If you go back to National’s campaign in 2008, they had a big billboard saying ‘Make them stay at home, don’t let them fly away’ or something ridiculous like that, which was indicating that National was going to keep our people here. They haven’t done that. Nobody’s talking about it, and that frustrates me because we’re not having these discussions. So do I think it’s going to get worse? Under this government, yes, because we’re not seeing anything innovative, we’re not seeing anything creative. In fact what we are seeing is the recycling of old, failed National Party strategy behind a new face; John Key. 21


Feature

DRUGS. Here is another tired feature from another tired writer.

We all do drugs. Perhaps a better name for this feature is “addictions”, but drugs caught your attention. Don’t say it didn’t, because it did. You want to read an interview with someone tripping balls on acid, or photos of people with syringes hanging out of their arms. We have no interest in writing a feature about something you can see in movies, on television and in books. We are not going to presume that any of you are about to try intravenous heroin for the first time and it is our mission to convince you of the dangers. Want to try heroin? Sure, we can’t stop you, but we think you should probably watch Requiem for a Dream first. Want to take some LSD? Cool story bro, but we aren’t interested in you

Now these might seem like pretty basic answers, but they touch on the root cause of what is and what is not acceptable in drug culture: the law.

Alcohol causes more deaths than weed, but the law tells us that it’s alright. Caffeine can leave you awake and alert for short periods of time and is regularly harvested by child and slave labour, but the law says it’s OK. Cigarettes are a major cause of severe health problems and are slowly being banned in pubs, schools and workplaces and even some cafes and yet the government, after placing some delightfully horrific images on the packs, allows the sale of cigarettes in the same supermarkets where children go to purchase candy.

As a student magazine, we are a prime target for complaints and legal action. We aren’t going to talk about anything illegal here, simply because Old Bastards read this magazine; a magazine which is clearly (we hope) for an audience of 18-24 year olds who have the same sense of humour (again; we hope) and sensibilities as our writing staff.

Earlier this year, Nexus received a letter of complaint from a local MP, in which they expressed their disgust at an advert for a prominent local bar, which featured a naked Anna Nicole Smith, pregnant and smoking. The same letter also addressed the dead baby “jokes” from two years ago which lost Nexus the sponsorship of Burger Fuel and became a front page spread in the Waikato Times. As we don’t want to be receiving complaint letters about this article two years from now, we aren’t going to look at illegal drugs and their effects on you. If you want to know about that stuff, go online and read it for your damn self.

In this particular look at ‘drugs’, we are going to look at legal highs. Sure, you may think we’re copping out, but we really can’t be bothered with the kind of bad press which still haunts the Nexus offices. I asked a random student why P was bad. They replied “Because it’s illegal and keeps you up for days”.

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Arguably, caffeine is the most popular drug in the world.

Everyone drinks it. Some of us claim addiction to caffeine. I am yet to come across an after school special which tried to warn high school kids of the danger of coffee and Coca-Cola. I have never been robbed by people who needed to sell a VCR in order to get their next Starbucks fix. Caffeine is a socially, legally, acceptable drug.

They sell it in cafes, bars, restaurants, service stations and at sports games. Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world, after oil. Globally, 1.6 billion cups of the black stuff are drunk every day. We couldn’t find any figures on energy drinks such as Red Bull or V, but that figure is most likely far larger. Yet, coffee (or more specifically, caffeine) is not good for you. It can cause excessive nervousness, diarrhoea and irregular heartbeats.


Feature Tea drinkers might be reading this and thinking “Well, I’m off the hook”, but tea has caffeine in it too. Do you even know what goes into the creation of what it is that you put in your mouth? Also: tea is stupid and should only be drunk at lawn bowls clubs or when offered up by an elderly lady. Coffee, as well as tea, was grown and harvested by slave labour and pretty much anyone who was keen to get paid little or nothing for extremely long hours. Slavery in the New World flourished when coffee plantations began to expand to feed the addiction of Europe and her colonies.

Even after European powers abolished slavery, children we (and still are) used as labourers, often being paid in food and accommodation.

Anyone who says that the coffee they drink is less morally objectionable than weed had better be damn sure that their coffee wasn’t plucked from its bush by the bleeding hands of a heavily pregnant teenager in the Third World. You can bet the skunk in your flatmates sock draw didn’t come into his possession via slave labour and is far more likely to have come from a friend of a friend’s uncle who grew it on his farm near Te Teko.

own health, but to the health of your children, the medical sector and your own finances? Smoking can cause lung cancer, throat cancer and just about any other kind of cancer under the sun and taxes on cigarettes have been increased, with an end result of “Smokefree Aotearoa” being somewhere further down the track.

Many smokers start their habit while drinking. Often those who begin as “I only smoke while I drink” become a pack a day type before they get to thirty. I should know. I am one, and so are a lot of my friends. Alcohol is a difficult discussion to have with anyone. No matter how many adverts we see on the television or at the start of our Youtube clips about drunks starting fights at parties, getting raped or driving a car loads of their mates into a ditch, we still drink and the government still allows it. Alcohol undoubtedly fuels more crime than marijuana, yet the statistics are skewed by the reality that marijuana is illegal, so any transactions involving weed are automatically “crime statistics”. There is no doubt that alcohol causes more deaths than illegal substances; that’s all we’re going to say on booze. Booze and it’s place in New Zealand culture, particularly among people our age, is another feature by itself. A lot of smokers enjoy a cigarette with their coffee. Well, a lot of smokers enjoy a coffee with their cigarette may be a more truthful representation of that statement. It’s hard to find a cafe where the attached sidewalk isn’t filled with people smoking their little hearts out. Each year, about 5 trillion cigarettes are smoked. Why does the government allow cigarettes to be sold, when they are quite happy informing us of the immense cost, not only to your

Video games, compared to the other legal addictions, are relatively new.

In Korea, video game addiction is profitable, to the point where it may not be called an addiction by many. And yet everyone has heard the tales of people who spend every waking minute 23


Feature A woman in Florida murdered her baby, when said baby refused to stop crying and interrupting its mother’s Farmville empire. Two years ago, a 3-month old Korean girl died due to malnutrition. Her parents had been too busy raising a digital child online to feed their own daughter. A sixteen year old boy from Philadelphia smashed his mother’s face in with a claw hammer, because she took away his PlayStation 3. The Chinese government operates several clinics to treat those suffering from overuse of online games, chatting and web surfing. The Netherlands also has a clinic specifically for online game addiction. Video game addiction is clearly no laughing matter.

completely submerged in World of Warcraft or something else from the Blizzard stable. In the world of digital addictions, Blizzard is the drug king pin. Only EA Games Call of Duty series has come anywhere near the kind of market saturation and player control exhibited by Blizzard. Everytime a new Warcraft title comes out, it shifts millions of units across the world, eating up hours upon hours of time. The clever way in which levelling and ranking systems are managed results in a false sense of satisfaction, a departure from reality and a cash eating habit, all things which feature in more popular drugs.

Perhaps the strangest thing about drugs in this day and age is what you can buy (and quite legally so) from your dairy. We’re not talking about an overpriced bottle of wine and some cheap cigarettes here. We’re talking about products which seek to emulate the euphoric highs of illegal drugs.

Of particular note is a product called Kronic, one of a growing wave os “fake weed” products on the market. You see, it is the chemical aspect of Marijuana that makes it illegal, not the method in which it is smoked. A quick look around a sex shop or counter-culture store will show you that this much is true. Bongs and pipes wouldn’t be legal if we were making this shit up.

And yet video games are not illegal.

Sure, in Australia there are a lot of censored and banned games, and other nations have their own lists of black listed games. A lot of World War 2 games don’t even feature swastikas, instead displaying Teutonic crosses. These are hardly comparable to the other addictive substances. No one is going to get beheaded in Indonesia for importing a kilo of Xbox games.

Video games eat time, distract people from reality and can result in overweight, foul smelling basement dwellers. Of course, this is the cliche propagated by Hollywood and television. A lot of video gamers look, act and smell like the rest of us. They do well at university, or they don’t. They have girlfriends or they don’t. They drink or they don’t. Everyone, in this generation and every future one, has played some kind of video game. Whether or not you become addicted to it is as simple as whether or not you become an alcoholic, or a sex addict, or a caffeine junkie. Video games also kill.

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Kronic may not be the real deal for so-called discerning stoners out there, but it will kick your ass, regardless of how high you claim your tolerance to be. While I’m on the topic; No one cares how high you got on the weekend of how creative you think you are while high. You’re buying a drug, not a grand piano. We don’t want you turning up to


Feature class stinking of weed and thinking that you’re the next Ginsberg or Kerouac. Get a life, you stupid, self aggrandising wannabe hippy. Also: wash your clothes, you smell like f*cking bong water.

Kronic is a product which shouldn’t be legal, simply because it is too much fun. It is cheaper per weight than actual marijuana and come premulled. You don’t have to spend a half hour pulling out stalks and dead bugs. You also don’t have to travel to Nawton or text fifty different people to get some. It’s available at most dairies around Hamilton and there are a wide variety of flavours. It is not even trying to pass itself off as “flaked incense”. There is a type called Skunk Blend and another one called Pineapple Express for crying out loud.

Much like the halcyon days of BZP pills, this new wave of over the counter good times is sure to come to a highly publicized end. Articles like this one, read by little old ladies who regularly write complaints to the BSA regarding Lynx adverts, help get these products banned.

Our Nexus test monkeys came together to test Kronic in the traditional Kiwi fashion of The Bucket. We aren’t going to explain what this is, because it’s more fun confusing elderly ladies with ambiguous sounding names. Also, most of you who have moved to a flat, or at least know a stoner, should know what one is. Perhaps this particular drug is more suited for the slow pace of pipe smoking, but a bucket was on hand, so a bucket is what was used.

Each of the test monkeys had at least one bucket, with others having anywhere up to five. As all had some experience with illegal drugs, it was assumed that a product sold over the counter by a pleasant Korean gentleman would have little or no effect on them.

Ten minutes after his third bucket, one of the test monkeys had begun sweating and felt a weird twisting feeling in his mind. He described it as ‘cerebral’. Those who only had one bucket were not affected very much at all.

The end result of this reasonably pointless test was that it is a fun time, but we’re not a science magazine and we don’t really care. We just wanted an excuse to try some of this legal stuff before it gets inevitably banned. Everyone who had more than two buckets were completely brain friend for an extremely long time.

New Zealand Drug Foundation executive director Ross Bell said chemists could easily adjust the chemical compounds contained in any product to get around the classification.

"The trouble with our drug laws is that they're 35 years old and the onus is on the Government to prove a new product is harmful, rather than a manufacturer to prove it is safe," he said.

This feature isn’t what a lot of you expected. You wanted the ins and outs of weed and LSD and more than ever you wanted the effects long term E use would have on you. Get online and read about that. All I can say is: it’s illegal. In saying that, however, far more powerful and dangerous things are completely legal. Go smoke some Illusion or Kronic. Go take some herbal pills. Go drink alcohol. Go play video games. That stuff will mess you up big time. You’ll be killing each other, fighting in the streets and driving cars into rivers before you know it. We tried to come up with a hypothesis and some answers, but really we just ended up with some big questions: How is alcohol legal and marijuana is not? How do people get addicted to video games, to the point where death occurs? And, more than anything, how can people sit around drinking coffee, talking about how P-addicts are dreadful people? Just have a think about what’s happening in your habits and ask yourself: Am I an addict to something which shouldn’t be legal?

The thing with drugs and other like products in New Zealand is that they are automatically legal.

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DANIEL FARRELL COMMEMORATIVE

Puzzle Page

Brought to you by Mighty Strong Friends of Nexus; Event Cinemas and Frozen Coke Smugglers

Welcome to week 6. That week where the lecturers think you’re getting down to business, but you aren’t really – you’re planning your two week break. Unless, of course, the jerks have given you a test during this week. Then they can go jump off a bridge. Once again, two Sudoku this week. Seems to be a pretty popular one. And yes, the easy Sudoku is the easiest setting there is. There’s gotta be something on this damned page that I can get right. Anyway, this week’s theme – Things to Daydream About Doing In Your Two Week Teaching Recess. See you in two weeks time, Nexusians.

THE BIG BAD wordFIND the wORDS DO STUPID UNI ASSIGNMENTs JOIN A RELIGION SLEEP JOIN THE REC CENTRE LISTEN TO CONTACT FM PLAY MINECRAFT PLAY WORLD OF WARCRAFT READ OLD COPIES OF NEXUS

WHAT TO DO The Furious Puzzle Page

(seriously, it’s pretty darn cross) Brought to you by the strong mind of Event Cinemas, in both Chartwell and Centreplace flavours! Mmmmm, delicious frozen coke! Be warned, this is the most difficult puzzle page ever!

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SUDOKU TIME


COMICS GALORE RL - BY TOM BEISLY AND DANIEL KEEGAN

Fancy yourself as an artist? Got some sweet comics you want to share? Let us know! Contact us at nexus@waikato.ac.nz


NEXUS. FOOD. LOVE. WITH DEE Chocolate. Yup. Chocolate. I don’t think this week’s column needs much more of an introduction than that. On a week when the Nexus is talking about addictions, Chocolate is one of the only ones I fancy. If you have made it this far without going off to try some sort of legal high, then you are doing well. And if you are still looking for an addiction to try, I suggest chocolate. Anyone who has ever been a chocoholic will be able to tell you of the many good properties of the food. It is claimed that chocolate will help increase your lifespan, improve your iron and magnesium levels, and could help your sex life. A 2007 study in England found that for some people, eating chocolate is more exciting than kissing... if you want to argue that one, then you may find some information in last week’s Nexus magazine.

I have so many good memories that include chocolate, and many good recipes that include chocolate cakes, chocolate mousse, chocolate brownie, chocolate self-saucing pudding, chocolate icing, chocolate pie... the list goes on as long as my love of the stuff. As a special treat for the Nexus readers, I am going to share one of my all time favourite recipes. Listen up yo! This brownie recipe is epic! I was actually debating not sharing and keeping it all to myself. And when I say all to myself, I mean all to myself, and my boyfriend who gave the recipe to me, and the friend who gave it to him... and anyone who reads my boyfriend’s website. This brownie takes 10-15 minutes from start to finish, is easy, makes very few dishes, and is just as good reheated the

LUISA’S CHOCOLATE BROWNIE: Ingredients: 100 grams of butter 1 cup of sugar 1 teaspoon of vanilla essence 2 eggs ¾ cup of flour ¼ cup of cocoa 1 teaspoon of baking powder

1. Melt the butter in a deep, microwave safe dish (with a lid), for about 1 and a half minutes. 2. Add the sugar, vanilla essence and eggs. Mix this all together till it’s all combined. 3. Sift in the flour, cocoa and baking powder. 4. Gently mix it all together, till it is only just combined. Too much mixing now isn’t a good thing. 5. Put the lid on the bowl and microwave for 5 minutes, until the top is soft and bubbly. 6. Eat and enjoy.

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next morning. It is great with ice-cream, or cream, or custard, or by itself. It is just great. This chocolate vibe is making me very generous, Nexus readers. A single batch will feed three or four average people, or 2 chocoholics.


POSTCARDS FROM A FORMER STUDENT

WITH MACKENZIE MCCARTY

Inner Tubing in Vang Vieng Eleven of us pile into feeble tucktucks that sway and sputter at breakneck speed down the bumpy road in Northern Laos. Our inner tubes are strapped to the roof and our level of excitement is at “it’s-eleven-am-and-I’ve-already-had-a-few-drinks” fever pitch. We disembark, are tossed an inner tube each from the roof of our ride, and trundle our way down to the water, where two Lao guys wait under an umbrella to hand us free shots of local whisky and lemonade. Across a small bridge, about fifty people under the age of 27 are relaxing on a half-hazard deck while the more daring (or drunk) participants jump from a rope swing, set 20 meters over the river. Cheap speakers blast semi-current dance music, and the alcohol is cheap.

THE CARE BEARS

WITH SHARE BEAR AND LOVE-A-LOT BEAR.

Welcome to your brand new, fabulous, fantastical advice column with Share Bear and Love-a-lot Bear. We’re here to answer all your questions, whether it’s about a tragic love, a torn friendship or a difficult life situation. We are fully qualified to give you advice on any problem you might have. Whatever the question, you can be sure we will answer it with the best advice you will ever receive. Luckily the students at Waikato lead exciting and dramatic lives. So we have a real question for you in the very first column. I have a situation, I have a new flat this year and the other night I hooked up with one of my new flatmates! I know this is against all the rules, but rules are made to be broken... Aren’t they? Do you have any advice for me? From I Screwed the Crew

After about half an hour, we get tired of the first bar. It’s into the inner tubes and down we float. I’ve brought a rope to keep us all together, but after a few minutes several people let go, and then the English girl behind me gets caught in the rope and the circulation in her fingers starts to wane, and she starts screaming, and then an Australian throws her a machete to cut the rope, which subsequently means that I am no longer attached to anybody and am floating down stream by myself. No worries; another rope is hurled at me and I am dragged ashore by a smiling man who takes my tube and points me in the

Share Bear says: Rules are there for a reason. Rules are not made to be broken. Everyone knows “you don’t screw the crew”. Screw, in this sense, also means kissing and touching in ways that are inappropriate. Things are just going to be awkward. There’s no doubt about it. What I recommend you do is both pretend like nothing happened and continue you on with your usual flatting situation. If you want to try taking things further, you will have to come to the realisation that one of you will most likely need to move out and find a new flat at some

direction of more free shots. After another hour or so, we float down to the next place, this one equipped with an enormous water slide and a spray-paint body art station. The fourth bar sports a mud volleyball pit, where twenty people pile in for a massive fight involving several hundred kilos of delicious, goopy, slimy sludge.

point, because like I said ‘shit’s going to get awkward’.

All of this would be the definition of perfection if it weren’t for one thing: the local people HATE it. And you can kind of understand: loud music, drunk Westerners wandering around with barely any clothes on (and most of these bars are family-owned, so there are always kids about), garbage everywhere. The last straw for me is watching one of the girls in our group get served a beer by a Lao woman who must be eight months pregnant, with her deaf young son in tow. To be honest, this was one of the most insanely fun days of my life…but I wouldn’t do it again. My conscience is just a little louder than the music.

Love-a-lot Bear says: There are a few factors you have to consider if you want to continue this. Are you serious about having a relationship or do you want something a lot more casual? Both of you need to be on the same page about where you want to go. You should also realise that all the steps you go through in a new relationship are fast forwarded when you’re already living together and the honeymoon phase will probably wear off a lot quicker. Take into consideration the fact you can’t really get away from the person if you need to. Have you considered what may happen if things end badly? One of you may have to move out and find somewhere else to live. On the other hand it is definitely not all negative! If this is someone that you really like, have a lot in common with and share common goals with my romantic side tends to say go for it. I think life is too short to miss out on things out of fear or repercussions. 29


CAFES: LIKE A BOSS

WITH MRS MATTHEWS

WTF - WAIKATO TIMES FOCUS

WITH MAXIMILLIAN

Keystone 150 Victoria St, Hamilton.

Alarm at high-school security cameras: Many are appalled about certain national and international developments around surveillance and what some deem the excessive monitoring of public spaces. This article documents the

We came here because I had promised a friend a lunch for his birthday. He had eventually cleared it with his girlfriend and wasn’t sleeping during the day (he works night shifts) and so three months later we finally made it out. In true cheap-bitch style I once again had a voucher from a certain daily internet specials site, having paid $19 for a $40 voucher and Keystone had $12 lunches.

latest steps.

I selected the Pork Ribs with a sticky BBQ chilli sauce and my friend chose a Smoked Lamb salad which came with minted potatoes and cumin mustard dressing. My ribs came on a delicious buttery potato mash and are quite possibly some of the best ribs in this city. The meat was positively falling off the bones, the sticky BBQ sauce is frigging amazing, and there is enough of it to dip your mash in. Yum. My friend said his salad was good, but was a little sad/bemused that the lamb came cold, while the minted potatoes came hot. We moved on to dessert and at my behest we chose a dark chocolate and strawberry mousse to share. Now I say behest because I’m not a big mousse fan, but I’ll admit it was pretty damn good. My friend apparently isa big mousse fan and began blathering on about how fantastic it was and how he needed to bring his girlfriend sometime to sample its amazing fantasticness. The staff here is friendly and fairly good at being attentive without being overbearing. The décor is simple but classy, and I do love their little indoor garden/grass/stone set ups. The downside is that most of the inside is set out as a bar, which could be an uncomfortable place to sit for the duration of a meal, while the nice seats are located outside, so it can be tricky to find somewhere nice to sit without being near smokers and/or traffic noise. Either way, I’m still dreaming about those damn ribs.

What does quirk me is that the libertine opposition to these somewhat dire developments is feebly heard, and in no measure felt. Have you actually considered some form or act of civil disobedience or political action against the systematic destruction of your rights to privacy and personal freedom? Don’t give me any of that ‘but there’s nothing we can do’ bollocks. Allowing an establishment to implement such changes to our public spheres and educational facilities is not necessarily just a bad thing. As we well know, the deterrent effect toward criminal behavior can be effective, and the possibility of recording a crime is useful to say the least. That is not where my beef is. My beef lies in an article in the Waikato Times, with its minimalist reference made to the oppositional response from the New Zealand Council for Civil Liberties: “I think it’s extraordinarily intrusive, but it seems to be that people think they have a right to do it now,” spokesperson Batch Hales said. Mr Hales believes CCTV has become increasingly popular under the guise of public security but said it was yet another step toward a “total surveillance society”. This kind of feeble and vague oppositional statement reminds incredibly of the ‘token black guy’ in Hollywood cinema. It is just there to silence ethical critique. It’s a bullshit line, which, in the face of the bulk of the article and the stigma that critical stances toward governmental changes carry at the moment, is sucked into irrelevance on the spot, perhaps just triggering a little cynical smile to cross the readers face as they move down through this bog of a text. This article is a bloody farce, to say the least, and those of you who like the idea of unconventional behaviors at times; be warned. Security is a blessing, as much as it is delusion.

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MAKING LIVING CHEAPER

RANGATAHI IN THE WORKPLACE

WITH HONEST MATT YOUNG WORKERS’ RESOURCE CENTRE

Here are Honest Matt’s tips for Making Living Cheaper this week. Tip #1 Make Soap Balls from the last little bits of soap. Instead of chucking away that little smidgen of soap you have left save it so you can make a giant ball of soap! Now you might be thinking ‘It’ll take ages to make a soap ball!” Yes it could, but I have a suggestion so you can make your soap ball a lot quicker. Do a bit of door knocking and ask neighbors “finished with your soap?” It’s a good way to make yourself known to your community while at the same time creating your soap ball! Genius! If you can get a wee bit of soap from everyone in a 3km radius of your house you’ll be able to create a giant soap ball that will keep you clean (and save on that pesky soap bill) for the whole year. I suggest getting around the streets with a shopping trolley to cart your soap in. This next tip is not really a Making Living Cheaper tip but more a money making tip. Tip #2 Start an underground cock-fighting ring. Immoral? Maybe. Legal? That’s a grey area. Actually it’s about as illegal as you can get , but only since 1999, which is pretty odd. Instead of making two roosters fight you should just find two ‘cocks’ from the street dumb enough to give it a go. If they can fight in town, they may as well fight in your backyard. You have the chance to make some good money out of being Hamilton’s Don King for a night! Imagine that? You host the ‘cock’ fights monthly in your backyard and charge punters $5 to come in and watch. Too easy. Tip #3 Don’t shower for days. Everybody’s showering nowadays! Boring! Ever wonder why you never get any chicks? It’s because you don’t stand out, you’re not different or unique. Nobody likes the clean cut, good smelling chap. Chicks love a bad boy and there’s nothing more bad than smelling bad. Why not give it a go? You will be saving on your water bill and making a ‘strong’ statement. ‘I smell like shit! What of it?’ You will be one Badass mofo.

Visit hcard.co.nz/deals to see how you can start Making Living Cheaper.

Employment agreements are a necessity: Part One TRUE STORY: Christie worked as a cafe` assistant. When she started she was given an employment agreement to sign, her boss seemed sweet so Christie didn’t bother reading the agreement properly and signed it. Everything was all good for about a year and then the recession hit, one day at work Christies’ employer requested that Christie come back to her employers’ house. The employer was planning to do some book work, and get Christie to do the employers’ housework. Christie refused stating “that it was not her job to clean the employers house”, the employer pulled out her agreement. The agreement did not state a place of work and stated ‘the employee will do all duties the employer deems fit’. Christie ended up having to clean her employer’s house because her employment agreement lacked specific details about her employment and Christie had not bothered to fully understand what she had agreed to a year ago. Working without an employment agreement or working with a vague agreement can result in a number of problems and the YWRC meets a number of youth like Christie that have to manage these situations. An employment agreement is a written document that is agreed upon by both the employer and employee, and sets out the terms and conditions of employment. Once the employment agreement is signed by both parties it is binding and is the first point of call for either party if a problem arises. An employment agreement is a vital component of being a good employee, how can you fulfil your employer’s expectations if you do not know or understand what they are? Therefore the YWRC suggests requesting a job description to accompany the employment agreement. Every employee is entitled to an employment agreement, if you are currently working you are able to request an employment agreement, from your employer, and your employer is obligated to present you with an employment agreement within a reasonable amount of time. ‘Reasonable’ is not clearly defined in the E.R.A, and requires employer’s other business duties to be considered. YWRC is hosting a focus group evening on the 7th of April, if you are 15-25 we would appreciate it if you could please donate some time to give us feedback on our new logo concepts. 7/04/2011 4-6.30pm 34 Harwood St Hamilton.

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PICK-UPS AND PUT-DOWNS

HUMPELSTILTSKIN AND GOLDIECOCKS Shamrocks are green St Paddy’s day luck Please don’t be mean Let’s go for a fuck! Unfortunately with deadlines being what they are and St paddy’s being a Thursday you are reading this a couple of weeks and a bit after what is potentially the 3rd biggest piss up of the year…Unless you are “that girl” you know the one, she is dancing alone and gravity seems to be picking on her from all directions, her biggest piss up is every Friday, And yesterday was Thursday, and tomorrow is Saturday and Sunday comes afterwards, when she regrets several things and swears to never drink again. Anyway if extremely well thought out witty pick-up lines (aka nothing a sober person would ever say) don’t work on a top three drunken rampage night like St Paddy’s then maybe it’s not your line that failed, and if that persists see your doctor. This week we are all about the theme. 1) “If you don’t sleep with me, the leprechauns have already won.” Said in sad voice seems to work, people were pretty curious as to how they would know, the concern for people being stalked by Leprechauns was really touching, and they say students are to self-absorbed to care about global issues these days.…sympathy is actually not a word it’s an abbreviation that stands for Sucker! You My Pretty, Actually Think He’s Yuck! Best come back of the night goes to “yeah that’s because they are on my team *walks off*” …ouch! 2) “Why don’t you come catch a leprechaun with me? Maybe together we’ll get Lucky!” Best reply goes to “I’m not lucky though, I lost all my friends already tonight “… JACKPOT …No Kiddiewinks that’s not nice leave the poor girl alone to become “that girl” I mentioned before, town cannot survive without her, do not mess with fate. Wait. Find her later if you think she is the one. Use protection, her 1 o clock sure didn’t. Feel free to share your own stories or suggestions pickupsandputdowns@gmail.com

POST-RAD

WITH BLAIR MUNRO

I’ve started looking forward to Mondays again. Like the antithesis of Garfield, except I am still surrounded by stupid, stupid people. I now look forward to Mondays for many reasons. Nexus deadlines for columns have now been pushed up to a Monday afternoon, which gets rid of any mid-week stresses regarding this garbage. Also, it frees up the rest of my week to observe the multitudes of stupid, stupid people on campus. Naturally, this provides screeds of material with which to write a column the following week. Hurrah, lucky you. If you do something really stupid, you might just have it immortalised, preserved forever in the metaphorical embalming fluid that is my sarcastic opinion column. For example, you might find that you’ve starred in a musical like, for example, Cats. This is plenty stupid enough to warrant a mention. You might decide to look at me funny, or append your compliment to my writing with the words “You also look like a hobo.” These are all wonderful, intelligent things to do in the briefest of moments between now and my inevitable firearms purchase. I don’t imagine many people pause to consider just how unstable the writer’s mind is, especially on a Monday. Most weekends are spent on horrific bourbon-fueled benders, writing terrible poetry that would make a Vogon cry, and penning short stories about dystopian futures we would love to effect with our own hands. So taking time out of your schedule to criticise, or to do something painfully stupid, might just be enough to tip our internal scales from Richard Branson to Charles Manson. If I cared enough to force a little accurate information into this column, I would probably find or forge statistics to convince you all that most murders occur on a Monday. Honestly, if I were as unhinged as I want you all to think I am, I would restrict my attempts at chlorinating the gene pool to a Monday. Partly because that gives people long enough to get over the shock before the weekend. Also, the funeral could then be scheduled for a Friday, which gives the bereaving a three-day weekend, courtesy of my trigger finger. But most importantly, it gives me a whole week to think of inappropriate jokes to make about it in next week’s Nexus column, which I would probably be writing from prison, come to think of it.

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AUTEUR HOUSE - ELIZABETH TAYLOR: AN OBITUARY

WITH RICHARD SWAINSON

The world’s media is awash with tributes and retrospectives to

After a noteworthy apprenticeship as a child performer, most notably

Elizabeth Taylor who died March 23. “Nexus” is apt a forum to continue the trend as any.

as the tom boy who rides her horse to Grand National victory in “National Velvet”, Taylor the adult actress emerged late in 1951 at age 19. As the object of Montgomery Clift’s obsessive attention in “A Place in the Sun” she looks ravishing. While the courtroom hysterics that climax the film date, the scenes between she and Clift still hold up, carrying real emotional weight.

First a few qualifications of the Taylor legend. She was not the last Golden Age star living and certainly far from the final link to studio-era Hollywood. Hyperbolic headlines suggesting as much did a disservice to many surviving veterans, each legends in their own right. Taylor was not a great actress. Her range was limited and her technique mannered. Her mature performance style, the default setting after her success in “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”, was demonstrative and rather blowzy. From the late 60s on, she was a one note performer. Taylor’s beauty is also a matter of taste. She had an astonishing face, particularly in her youth, and her breasts were also much admired. Richard Burton once called them “apocalyptic”. The figure tended toward the voluptuous and is best showcased in the still shocking Tennessee Williams melodrama “Suddenly, Last Summer”, where Taylor spills out of a white, one-piece swimsuit, sending simple minded natives into a cannibalistic frenzy. What Taylor did have, like all great stars, was a distinctive personality, one that transcended any particular role that she was associated with, acting in general and even, ultimately, the film medium itself. After 1968 she was no longer a box office force and the good roles evaporated. She became famous for being Liz Taylor, the oft-married, jewelry obsessed celebrity. If you were born in the 1980s or later you probably only know her as the frumpy old friend of Wacko Jacko who had a perfume named after her and seemed to harp on about AIDS charities all the time. Beneath the gossip and the scandal, the melodramas and the always life-threatening illnesses there was a core of actual achievement. Between 1943 and 1968 Taylor the movie star did make some quality films.

It wasn’t until 1958 that Taylor enjoyed another signature part; that of Maggie the Cat in Richard Brooks’ adaptation of Tennessee Williams’ play, “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”. Cavorting around in a slip for most of the film, unsuccessfully attempting to cajole her (implied) homosexual husband into showing her some physical attention, Taylor is the epitome of Southern sexiness. The next year came another Williams’ inspired film, the truly outrageous “Suddenly, Last Summer”. The rest of the cast might include an uncomfortable looking Monty Clift and a way over the top Katharine Hepburn but Taylor in the flashback sequence is what you most remember. Used by her gay cousin as “bait” to entice young men, Taylor spills out of her see-through swimsuit in a manner unheard of by a mainstream star. Taylor won a sympathy Oscar in 1960, after surviving a tracheotomy and losing third husband Mike Todd in a plane crash. More notoriety was to come when she became the first actress ever paid $1 million for a film, taking the title part in “Cleopatra”. From a forty year perspective it is hard for us conceive just how big a deal the affair enjoyed between Taylor and Richard Burton, the actor playing Marc Anthony, was. Already considered a scarlet woman for stealing Debbie Reynolds’ husband Eddie Fisher in the wake of Todd’s death, Taylor’s abandonment of him in favour of the equally married Burton sent world media into an unprecedented frenzy. The subsequent Taylor/Burton marriage resulted in a score of inferior movies but also a great one: “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?” It’s the ultimate Elizabeth Taylor role and film, the one part in which her mature hysteria and blowzy looks fits the material, perfectly blending with Burton’s nuanced rage. Taylor’s Oscar was this time deserved. 33


PWNED

Minecraft: A game of such genius and win that it has spread throughout the world of PC games faster than carpel tunnel syndrome. Though still only in beta and constantly being updated, it is one of the fastest spreading, most innovative games out and is definitely worth looking into. It’s a true sandbox game. You are in a world that is yours and yours alone and you can do what ever the hell you want. Until the monsters appear to eat your brain or explode - sending chunks of your body into all directions for all the other monsters to enjoy. You wake up one day in a world you’ve never seen before. Soon realising that you’re completely alone and that you’ll probably never see your loved ones again. In your fury you punch a tree. The tree yields before your rage and breaks into a pile of logs. You pick up the logs and move on to punch some other things. You punch some dirt, perhaps some more trees, a pig and maybe the side of a cliff –ouch! I suppose this is why you can’t play as a female character. Frankly, only a male would try and solve all his problems by punching them. Besides, I don’t think nagging at a tree would yield anything aside from perhaps some irritated squirrels. Sadly, punching things won’t solve all your problems. You’ll soon need some tools in order to continue breaking things. You can combine the items you gather to craft anything from tools and weapons to armour and cake. Though the concept of item crafting is as old as the birth of the inventory screen –Minecraft’s differs in that it actually works and that the item combinations actually make sense. The lack of a beginners tutorial, however, means you’ll quickly be alt-tabbing to the FAQ. There is no storyline, no other characters, no ‘fetch quests’. Nothing except you, and a world to shape to your design! You are only limited by your imagination and the monsters that seek to reunite you with your maker. You can build anything you want provided you gather the 34

materials. It reminds me of Lego, except you have to mine each brick, which is actually a good analogy, if all of your Lego is mixed up, in one huge bucket, eight times the size of the earth. Instead of pursuing the latest most realistic graphics that will look clunky and primitive in a few years, in Minecraft it’s a world of pixels and cubes and you’ll live, think, build and DIE in it. Although it looks chunky and rough, there is a certain aesthetic and charm to this bricky world. I can’t count the times I’d be atop a cliff, looking out to the vast world around me and be taken aback the scenery; the cliffs, the mesas, the waterfalls and the valleys. My only major problem is the save function. Minecraft autosaves when you die. Just so you can’t reload the game and continue as if it never happened. I should also mention that upon death, you lose all your items. The number of times I’d painstakingly gathered all the resources in a cave to then fall into some lava and lose everything usually resulted in me not playing for a week out of sheer frustration and rage. In a world of repetitive and derivative game play, Minecraft stands above the current generation of mediocrity. Not hindered by a weak storyline, class customisation, latest graphics, moral choice systems or any of the other crap used to compensate for samey repetitive game play. It shines as a beacon of hope in a world painted in the monotone of cat vomit browns and tarnished metal greys. Minecraft is so good that I fear that it will be the next in line for the game cloning machine, like Halo and World of Warcraft who were both shoved into the cloning machine – resulting in disgusting subpar mutations, all trying to make as much money as daddy. Hopefully Minecraft’s clones will just to throw up then go off to die quietly in a corner. It is such a depressing prospect that it makes me want to go hug one of the exploding monsters.


THE REALM OF INFINITE CHAOS AND COMICS WITH DAGGARD

PRESENTED BY MARK 1 COMICS AND GAMES 551 VICTORIA ST.

THE UMBRELLA ACADEMY: APOCALYPSE SUITE - GERARD WAY & GABRIEL BÁ It is the clash of personalities that makes a superhero team so fun to watch, as anyone who has read any X-Men comics knows. It is the mix of personalities and how they compliment or repel each other that we instantly recognise; it’s the cornerstone of any human drama. But when you add a family into the mix, the fireworks become much more explosive. Seven uniquely gifted babies are adopted by a world-renowned scientist and entrepreneur for one purpose: to save the world. The adventure with our youngsters begins with them forming the Umbrella Academy: a team of super-powered super-kids. Years later, they’ve disbanded and gone their separate ways, but reunite after the Professor’s death. That’s where the real sparks begin to fly. One of Way’s strengths is a real understanding of characterisation through dialogue. Uninhibited by the shackles of an already established set of heroes, he is also unafraid to experiment with his creations, much like a wild-eyed mad scientist in his lab, mixing more and more dangerous combinations of chemicals just to see how big he can make the explosions. And the explosions can get pretty big. There are shades of Victorian cyber-punk, goth and noir here and while the super-team scenario is now a very familiar staple to even non-readers, the characters have been given the kind of grittiness and humility that makes them more real than many heroes. Gabriel Bá’s artwork is deliberately cartoonish in appearance, but this often serves to soften some of the more blood-spattered pages with a playful wryness, without taking the piss. There’s certainly nothing childish about the content. The kind of wild sketchiness of it suits the unpredictable material well and there’s a simple yet distinctly noirish style about it reminiscent of a Bruce Timm animated series or a page out of Hellboy.

The final result is something that at first felt almost too familiar, like yet another cover of the same old song. But the arrangement of the known soon shifts into unknown territory and becomes something much more interesting. It’s clear that the characters are Way’s own and he plays them all fearlessly like a guy who’s jamming away without a care in the world. But he does care; you can tell by the detail of his world and the way each character has a clear and unique voice. Something which its author may already know a thing or two about.

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MOVIE REVIEWS

BLUE VALENTINE - DIRECTED BY DEREK CIANFRANCE Watching “Blue Valentine” the day after seeing an excellent piece of live local theatre I was struck by how rare actual drama is in contemporary cinema, particularly in American film. Hollywood churns out melodrama by the truck load but tends to shy away from presenting rounded, flawed characters challenged by the minutiae of everyday life.

“Blue Valentine” is a drama for and about grownups. It’s the absolute opposite of escapist fantasies like “The Notebook”; movies which trade in the mythology of true love. In fact, it deconstructs some of that type of thinking, juxtaposing the sweet and the sour of a relationship, mixing up its story’s chronology so that the early joys of meeting and courtship are shown in stark contrast to a marriage’s disintegration. The plot is relatively straightforward. Its execution and emotional content are not. The lead performances are about as good as American acting gets these days. Michelle Williams plays an aspiring New York medical student, alienated from all in her psychologically abusive family save her world weary grandmother and none too happy with a boyfriend who treats her like a sexual object. Ryan Gosling is a salt of earth type, an unambitious manual worker prone to romantic day dreaming. When his very real charm gets past her defences the two begin the type of tentative fling that usually lasts a few weeks at best. The circumstances that rush them to the registry office can only paper over the cracks for so long. There are few false moments and many harrowing ones. The audience is given space to make its own mind up about the couple’s motivations and actions. Personally I found Gosling’s character to be overly smothering, juvenile and a borderline alcoholic. The young lady next to me thought Williams an insensitive, cold bitch. It goes without saying that “Blue Valentine” isn’t a first date movie. Quite apart from all the arguing and the distress the sex scenes only rarely reflect mutual satisfaction. Darling Michelle is penetrated from behind with such force that Heath Ledger will be spinning in the grave in a posthumous, prescription drug fuelled jealous rage. An abortion sequence could also double as a SPUC advertisement. On the other hand the film isn’t blind to the seductive nature of romance. There’s a scene of ukulele serenading that’s both gentle and touching. Sadly, the point of “Blue Valentine” is that in life such moments are fleeting. - Reviewed by Richard Swainson 36

CATFISH - DIRECTED BY HENRY JOOST AND ARIEL SCHULMAN Catfish was not at all what I expected; you watch the trailer on youtube and it seems like it’s going to be the next Paranormal Activity. The movie is set in 2007 with filmmakers Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost. They see a true life drama unfolding with Ariel’s brother Yaniv. Ariel starts talking with a young girl, Abby, via Facebook. She is a young artist. He then starts talking to her older sister, Megan, who he falls for and then starts texting, calling. Nev starts sending Abby pictures to paint, as Nev is a photographer and the quality of Abby’s work is outstanding for an eight year old. Nev slowly starts to add Abby’s entire family on Facebook, even talking to them on the phone. As he meets Abby’s family, he meets Megan and falls for her, as she does for him. While this is going on Nev talks to Abby on the phone and her mom and is exchanging numerous paintings and pictures with Abby. I can’t really reveal much more of story or I’ll ruin the film for you. This whole film is based around the idea of meeting people online and how it can or can’t be dangerous. Facebook is used a lot in this film, whether it is showing the new characters or showing what Nev is saying to Abby. It is an interesting way of introducing characters, because most of us can relate to Facebook and the “Add Friend” function. This movie makes you think about the power of Facebook and what it has enabled us to do; you can keep in touch with friends in other countries or even make completely new ones. There have not been many good documentaries of late and personally I wouldn’t rush to see this film again. I’d rather see something like The Cove, Food Inc or Winnebago Man (All great documentaries by the way if you want to see a good one). This film is quoted as “The best Hitchcock film Hitchcock never directed” which are big shoes to fill, so go check this film out and see if you agree with this quote. Catfish will be in New Zealand theatres from the 12th May 2011. - Reviewed by Josh Cooper


KEVIN PRYOR GOES DOWN ON BOOKS CONSUMED - BENJAMIN BARBER The full title of this book is ‘Consumed: How Markets Corrupt Children, Infantilize Adults and Swallow Citizens Whole’, which does a pretty good job of summing it up. That’s the thing about non-fiction it’s all quite literal - the title spells out what the book’s about. Fiction on the other hand, you usually have to actually read the book (if it’s a good one) to see what the author’s getting at. So over 339 pages Barber sets out to prove the thesis of the title. This he does, and the book is extremely well written by an academic at the top of his game. Barber argues that Western Free Markets met the ‘needs’ of their citizens some time ago, and thus to maximise profits, have got into the business of manufacturing ‘wants’. So what? You might say. But clearly this is a bad thing, due to the fact that there are millions of people starving in the world, who might benefit from capitalism’s productive power. Instead capitalism has turned away from

production and into marketing instead. For example the total US advertising budget grew from $24 billion in 1980 to $275 billion in 2005. The point of this Barber says, is to turn citizens into total consumers. People whose number one activity is shopping - all the time. To do this Marketers use a twofold strategy. Firstly they aggressively advertise towards children - to get them ‘consuming’ as early as possible. Secondly they try and ‘infantilise’ adults, by marketing an ‘I want’ culture as normal and desirable. Anything that gets in the way of ‘I want’ e.g Government regulation, relationships, not having enough money, is a bad thing. The ultimate aim of this marketing is to commodify all human activity. Music = ipod. Knowledge = internet. Entertainment = Hollywood. Eventually the value of anything outside the marketplace is completely lost. If you’re a FASS student or even slightly interested in the world around you, Barber’s book is a must read.

JUDY READS...

LIFE – KEITH RICHARDS & JAMES FOX Life is the Autobiography of Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones. I’ve found it really interesting so far, even though I have to admit that I haven’t quite finished it yet. Stupid things like work and classes have gotten in the way. But anyway, it starts with his childhood and goes through the tough times of

lifted from the plot of a comedy. Like when they encountered problems with customs in Hawaii due to the drugs they were carrying. Someone had the number of Mr Dole (from the Dole pineapple company) and Mr Dole arrange for all their customs problems to go

trying to be a successful band and all the regular biography stuff. The thing that has seriously amazed me most is the drug use. I knew from gossip columns and crap that he was generally high on something, but I had no idea that he was THIS out of it on SO many things.

away. It’s just not stuff that would happen to a regular person.

Reading Life you’re pretty sure that he has about a million addictions. He just keeps saying over and over again that he wasn’t that bad, he could have quit anytime he wanted. He didn’t need the Heroin or the cocaine; he just used them like gears to control what he was doing through the day. And that might be so. But it sounds completely insane. Unsurprisingly he and his band mates have had scrapes with the law due to drugs and drug use. Some of the stories are hilarious. And some of the ways they got out of trouble sound like they’ve been

Even without the drugs Keith has led an interesting life. He’s been to so many places and done so many things. And met bunches of interesting people. He still seems really excited about the people he has met, especially those who were his musical idols when he was young. It ‘s refreshing to know that he’s not just some jaded old man who feels like he’s met everyone he’s to meet and done the things that he’s wanted to do. I want to find out what happens to him from here, where I’m up to in the story now is the mid 70s. Things are Intense with The Rolling Stones, he’s despairing about the quality of drugs, and I want to read about what happens next. 37


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MARCH 26TH - GRAVITY BAR

ALL PHOTOS BY SHANNON ROLFE - SHANNONROLFE.COM

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