s-2017-03-30

a taste for

SUcceSS chris Jarosz overcame a rough upbringing to become Sacramento’s go-to restaurateur.

Now he faces his biggest challenge: feeding the capitol. • PAGe 14

By R.E. GRaswich

06

09

TrUmP’S SAcrAmeNTo fAN bASe

Sacramento’S newS & entertainment weekly

|

SlUmlordS vS. immiGrANTS

Volume 28, iSSue 50

|

18

The riSe of The ArTiSANS

thurSday, march 30, 2017

|

newSreView.com

2 | SN&R | 03.30.17

EditoR’S NotE

maRch 30, 2017 | Vol. 28, iSSuE 50

04 05 06 13 14 18 21 23 27 29 30 32 39 47 59

59 23 Our Mission: To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

Interim Editor Robert Speer Associate Editor Raheem F. Hosseini Arts & Culture Editor Rebecca Huval Assistant Editor Anthony Siino Editorial Services Coordinator Karlos Rene Ayala Staff Reporter Scott Thomas Anderson Contributing Editor Rachel Leibrock Contributors Daniel Barnes, Ngaio Bealum, Janelle Bitker, Alastair Bland, Rob Brezsny, Aaron Carnes, Jim Carnes, Willie Clark, John Flynn, Joey Garcia, Lovelle Harris, Jeff Hudson, Dave Kempa, Matt Kramer, Jim Lane, Kel Munger, Kate Paloy, Patti Roberts, Ann Martin Rolke, Shoka, Bev Sykes, Mozes Zarate

27 Design Manager Lindsay Trop Creative Director Serene Lusano Art Director Margaret Larkin Production Coordinator Skyler Smith Designer Kyle Shine Marketing/Publications Designer Sarah Hansel Contributing Photographers Lisa Baetz, Darin Bradford, Kevin Cortopassi, Evan Duran, Lucas Fitzgerald, Jon Hermison, Shoka, Lauran Fayne Worthy Sales Coordinator Joanna Graves Senior Advertising Consultants Rosemarie Messina, Olla Swanson, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Advertising Consultants Matt Kjar, Paul McGuinness, Wendy Russell, Manushi Weerasinghe Lead Director of First Impressions & Sales Assistant David Lindsay Director of First Impressions Hannah Williams Distribution Director Greg Erwin Distribution Services Assistant Larry Schubert Distribution Drivers Mansour Aghdam, Andy Barker, Kimberly Bordenkircher, Daniel Bowen, Heather Brinkley, Allen Brown, Mike Cleary, Jack Clifford, Lydia Comer, Rob Dunnica, Chris Fong, Ron Forsberg, Joanna Gonzalez-Brown, Lori Lovell, Greg Meyers,

32 Sam Niver, Gilbert Quilatan, Lloyd Rongley, Lolu Sholotan, Zang Yang N&R Publications Editor Michelle Carl N&R Publications Associate Editor Kate Gonzales N&R Publications Writer Anne Stokes Senior N&R Publications Consultant Dave Nettles Marketing & Publications Consultant Dan Howells, Steve Caruso President/CEO Jeff vonKaenel Director of Nuts & Bolts Deborah Redmond Nuts & Bolts Ninja Leslie Giovanini Executive Coordinator Carlyn Asuncion Director of People & Culture David Stogner Project Coordinator Natasha vonKaenel Director of Dollars & Sense Nicole Jackson Payroll/AP Wizard Miranda Dargitz Accounts Receivable Specialist Analie Foland Sweetdeals Specialist/HR Coordinator Courtney DeShields Developer John Bisignano, Jonathan Schultz System Support Specialist Kalin Jenkins

STREETALK LETTERS NEwS + beAtS ScoREKEEpER FEATuRE SToRy ARTS&cuLTuRE NighT&dAy diSh cooLhuNTiNg STAgE FiLm muSic ASK joEy ThE 420 15 miNuTES

coVER phoTo By dARiN BRAdFoRd dESigN By mARgARET LARKiN

1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815 Phone (916) 498-1234 Fax (916) 498-7910 Website www.newsreview.com Got a News Tip? sactonewstips@newsreview.com Calendar Events www.newsreview.com/calendar Want to Advertise? Fax (916) 498-7910 or snradinfo@newsreview.com Classifieds (916) 498-1234, ext. 5 or classifieds@newsreview.com Job Opportunities jobs@newsreview.com Want to Subscribe to SN&R? sactosubs@newsreview.com Editorial Policies: opinions expressed in SN&R are those of the authors and not of Chico Community publishing, Inc. Contact the editor for permissions to reprint articles, cartoons or other portions of the paper. SN&R is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts or review materials. email letters to snrletters@newsreview.com. All letters received become the property of the publisher. We reserve the right to print letters in condensed form and to edit them for libel.

Advertising Policies: All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. the advertiser and not the newspaper assumes the responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

The Four Horsemen Does it sometimes seem that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse—pestilence, war, famine and death—are loose on the land?

Millions are on the verge of starving to death in Yemen. Diseases such as Zika and Ebola are turning up everywhere. The threat of nuclear war is greater than at any time since the Cold War. Mass migration is taxing countries’ resources and shows no sign of abating. War in the Middle East has killed hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians.

And the oceans? Where to begin?

Acidification. Melting polar ice caps.

Dying coral reefs. Huge patches of plastic waste.

The one thing these afflictions, these apocalyptic visitations, have in common is that they are planetary in scope. They can be mitigated only if all the nations of the earth join together in collaboration. And that is why the Trump administration’s go-it-alone, “America First” ideology is so cruelly wrong. It ignores what is crystal clear to those who have eyes to see: The world has become profoundly interconnected, and what happens in one country affects all other countries.

I try to remind myself that everything changes, that Donald Trump won’t be president forever, that there is still much good in the world. And, of course, there are always stories to amuse and enlighten us.

This week’s cover feature, “A taste for success” on page 14, is a good one. It’s a tale about overcoming adversity and the power of hard work and creativity. And it’s written by the estimable R. E. Graswich. I think you will enjoy it.

—RobeRt SpeeR b o b s@ ne wsr e v ie w.c o ml

SN&R is printed at bay Area News Group on recycled newsprint.

Circulation of SN&R is verified by the Circulation Verification Council.

SN&R is a member of Sacramento Metro Chamber of Commerce, CNpA, AAN and AWN.

03.30.17 | SN&R | 3

“I gotta have a blunt wIth my coffee.”

AsKeD AT ARDen FAiR:

Your first thought upon waking today?

Renee MiMMs data entry

I want to go back to sleep.

I don’t want to go to work. I commute about an hour to and from work. It is the nature of the market right now. It is so terrible for people in my age group. There aren’t a lot of job opportunities. It is hard out here.

ilyA Mose ychuK

A ARon MAchADo production manager

Coffee! I french press my own most of the time.

There is a coffee shop I go to in the city. I function without a cup of coffee—angrily function. I gotta have a blunt with my coffee. Then I can face the whole day, the commute and all.

Students like Laguna Creek High School’s own Brandon Earl.

Founder and creative director of his unique men’s tailored clothing brand Brandon Earl New York.

Every student deserves the chance for a world class education that offers community engagement and creative problem-solving...just like Brandon Earl.

WeAreEGU.com

JeRMishA KinG

grandmother

I check my bank account, my calendar and see what is the business of the day.

I have a schedule-slashcalendar. It is on my phone. I am not usually a busy person. There is not too much going on after school and church. School keeps me pretty busy.

WE ARE Success We’re building a brighter future one student at a time.

GloRiA AMbRiz

student

R AMon ReeDeR

eligibility specialist

Say my morning prayer.

If I don’t say it, I feel like I forgot something. I want to instill that in my grandkids. I talk about it so they have it when they grow up. I hope it helps them when they get older.

It makes me feel safe. I can anticipate a good day when I pray.

I pray. It is a new one every day. I have a calendar so when I wake up, I look at it and it has a scripture there.

It motivates me. It gets me moving. Sometimes my head is very busy; I’m thinking about problems of the day. I was taught to pray when I was growing up.

building clerk

Rise and grind. I think about getting up and getting the day started. I don’t do coffee. I like a smoothie and then a shower, get dressed and out the door. I pretty much start all of my days the same.

As long as I can breathe, I’m good.

“Tower cafe is excited to partner with the sN&R to make it possible to further explore environmental issues that more than ever are affecting our lives.”

t s a f k a e r B FOR

R E N N I D

MON & TuEs NIghTs: Famous French Toast & Madame Christo!

(BAcON & Eggs)

To explore more about student opportunities, go to WeAreEGU.com

We are the future. We are Elk Grove Unified.

4 | SN&R | 03.30.17

TOwER cAFE

1518 Broadway • Sacramento • 916.441.0222 • towercafe.com

Breakfast • Lunch • Dinner • 7 Days a week serving international beer & wine, cocktails & dessert

Email lEttErs to sactolEttErs@nEwsrEviEw.com

Bodies in the way Re: “Ballet ‘treasures’” by LaRue Brewster-Carnes (SN&R Letters, March 23): You’re absolutely correct. If it doesn’t carry big dollar signs, the Sac Bee could care less. The Bee will sing praises over the Kings year-round and won’t let you forget what a great deal the Golden 1 Center is and how lucky we schmucks are to have it. But the performing arts? The Sac Bee will equate that with helping the homeless by doing absolutely nothing except bitch about having to step over them on their way to Starbucks.

Victor Morales s acr am e nt o

Watch your step Re: “Bread and ballet roses,”

by Mozes Zarate (SN&R News, March 23): Wow. I never thought of Sacramento of a union town. I wonder if this might backfire and cause the Sacramento Ballet to shut down? I hope

GO

not, but I have seen this kind of thing happen in other towns about the same size as Sacramento. Unions come in and make all sorts of demands that can’t be met. I hope everyone has thought this through.

John Elko Modesto

Take care of it, liberals Re: “Renters strike back,”

by Scott Thomas Anderson (SN&R News, March 23): My rent was $625, then $688. Now it’s $1050 for a tiny one-bedroom. I’ll go out of my way to assist in any way in my busy life to control this outrage in this city. Am I the only one that sees a serious problem here?

Of course, all landlords see a major cash fall heading their way. The Democratic Party wants to control every aspect of my life anyway. From which light bulbs I can buy to what cars I should buy to what plastic bags I can buy. How about you liberals control rent here as well? I’m 32.

Rory Humphries Sacramento

Pay for it with taxes Re: “The arena has eyes,” by Dave Kempa (SN&R Feature, March 16): Golden 1 Center is a beehive of activity that is producing big bucks now.

Critics say that this will not continue. Supporters say that it will get even better.

What are the performing arts producing now? The Romans had a take on this: If it is in the public interest to provide people with entertainment that has no wide public appeal, pay for it with general tax revenues.

Hugh Montgomery Sacramento

NEW!

ONLINE BUZZ

On The advenT Of lOcal effOrTs fOr renT cOnTrOl: Good luck. It’s about supply and demand. The lower the supply, the higher the price.

Josh stephens v ia Fa c e b o o k @SacNewsReview

I never realized how ridiculously high rent has gotten until a couple of weeks ago.

Diep nguyen v ia Fa c e b o o k

on the reVeal oF this year’s saMMies’ noMinees:

What happened to life in 24 frames?!! I don’t see them on the list! gina azzarello v ia Fa c e b o o k

Facebook.com/ SacNewsReview

@SacNewsReview

online Buzz contributions are not edited for grammar, spelling or clarity.

T OU R S T H ROU G H T I M E

Old Sacramento Underground Tour

&

Gold Fever!

Tour

For Availability, Tickets & Info 916.808.7059 or SacHistoryMuseum.org GoldFeverSacramento SacramentoUnderground

Tickets: Adults: *ROG )HYHU IJ 8QGHUJURXQG IJ Youth (6-17): *ROG )HYHU IJ 8QGHUJURXQG IJ Members: Member discounts as applicable Underground After Hours (21 & Over): IJ

Don’t forget our After Hours tour for adults!

Sponsored by

03.30.17 | SN&R | 5

Some 300 or so Trump supporters gathered at McKinley Park to voice their support for veterans’ causes. police officers and first responders.

Photo by Karlos rene ayala

Patriots’ picnic Make America Great Again march draws hundreds to Sacramento, offers surreal glimpse at Trump’s fan base

by Karlos rene ayala

Potholes and loose gravel constitute the narrow strip of road that leads to the VFW hall in Fair Oaks, where a scheduled press conference failed to bring out the press on Friday.

Perhaps it was the last-minute invitation, but SN&R was the only media outlet to attend the March 24 conference, held to promote a Make America Great Again march the following afternoon at McKinley Park in east Sacramento, where hundreds were expected to show their support for veterans, police, first responders and, most of all, the least-popular president in modern history.

6 | SN&R | 03.30.17

But if Saturday’s march was inspired

by Donald Trump, its organizers didn’t feel the need to follow the president’s example.

Avoiding the commander-in-chief’s penchant for “fake news” conspiracies, lead organizer Alicia Peterson and volunteer Ashleigh Ford didn’t lament the miniscule media turnout as proof of the industry’s liberal bias. Instead, the two women adapted the stagey proceedings into an informal chat, making the case for why they felt the need to organize one of 40 MAGA marches scheduled nationwide.

“This is the heart of our state,” Peterson reasoned. “If you’re going to use your

k a r lo sa @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

voice, there’s no better place to do that.”

The fact that Trump and his supporters feel the need to organize less than three months into his term is remarkable in itself.

In his first 100 days, Trump has inspired the largest protests on record, his Muslim-focused travel bans have been blocked in federal court—twice—and his signature campaign promise to repeal the Affordable Care Act fizzled last week after the Republican-led Congress snubbed his endorsed replacement.

In short, it’s been an inauspicious start, one that’s put Trump’s supporters in a counterintuitive bind: Their man won, but

owns a dismal 36 percent approval rating, according to Gallup, the lowest for any first-term president since at least 1953.

Sacramento’s MAGA event was organized, in part, to course-correct the narrative. More than 500 people were expected to march the route between McKinley Park and Sutter’s Fort, while social media channels buzzed with uncorroborated rumors of counterdemonstrations and neo-Nazi sightings. What followed was a peaceful, if slightly discordant, gathering of people who weren’t always on the same page when it comes to the 45th president of these United States.

Motivated by the frustrations she faced

as a mom unable to make the trek to a pro-Trump rally in Southern California, Peterson set to organizing the event two months ago with the help of Ford.

For Peterson, her concern for returning veterans is what motivated her organizing.

“That’s one thing that made me really vote for Trump: he promised that veterans would not be forgotten,” Peterson said.

Detailing the event, Peterson and Ford promised an assortment of speakers, from veterans to political hopefuls.

DUI plea DUrIng gym See neWS

08

OlD Sac, OlD Debate See eSSay

11

laS VegaS raIDerS?!

See ScOreKeeper

13

beatS

cOnDItIOnal hUmanIty That mix sometimes divided Trump’s supporters.

One scheduled speaker, Nicole Stallard, caused some of the more conservative MAGA groups to drop their support of the Sacramento event. Stallard is the head of the San Jose chapter of the Pink Pistols, a gun-rights and LGBTQ advocacy group; Stallard is also transgender.

Ford defended Stallard’s inclusion in the march. “We don’t welcome anyone that’s going to have an issue with anybody, you have to be open-minded,” Ford asserted.

“This is not about party, this is about coming together without prejudice.”

The Sacramento Rainbow Chamber of Commerce, meanwhile, is one of many LGBTQ rights groups that have criticized the Trump administration over its stances, including its rollback of federal guidelines that allowed transgender students to use the restrooms of their choice.

That schism between Trump’s actions and the more tolerant philosophies of some of his supporters isn’t new. Peterson, for instance, said she was bringing her 80-yearold grandmother, who marched for civil rights decades ago. “She personally walked with Martin Luther King in the ’60s because she believes that everybody has equal rights as an American,” Peterson said.

But would the pure intentions of the organizers be eclipsed by opposing sides antagonizing one another? the maga march was originally set to take

place at the Capitol building, but the permit was revoked amid concerns over what happened the last time Trump supporters and protesters clashed at that location.

On June 26, 2016, 10 people were injured, including seven who suffered stab wounds, when demonstrators confronted skinheads and neo-Nazis who were attending a rally for the Traditionalist Worker Party, a white nationalist group that supported Trump.

The vibe on March 25 was vastly calmer.

The noontime scene at McKinley Park, the staging area, resembled a Fourth of July picnic. People displayed and wore American flags, sung patriotic songs and chowed down on scores of hot dogs. There was also a man dressed in a knight’s full armor, and another with a shield, as if they had wandered into a LARPing adventure.

Two women wearing the knitted, pink “pussy hats” associated with the massive women’s marches stood about a hundred feet away, watching.

“We offered them hot dogs and to join us,” Ford said, pointing them out. While

the mystery-meat olive branches weren’t Police confirmed the arrests to SN&R. accepted, Ford seemed unfazed. “We Ford said that $600 was collected to believe it’s their right to stand there and replace the tires. it’s our right to be here, too,” Ford said, Later, Andrew Blanch, who is looking away. running for governor of California as Neighbors stepped out of their large an Independent, delivered a confused houses to take in the spectacle. speech. A visibly nervous Blanch greeted “Usually people are just here for the crowd first by saying, “Hello, San fun, not to make a statement,” said Dan Diego,” mistakenly referred to ICE as Gregory, an east Sac resident out walking “ISIS” and, before wrapping up, said his dog. “And this is quite a statement.”

“God bless Texas. I mean, California.”

After some songs, the crowd of approxiWhile Blanch would most certainly mately 300 marchers, mostly families benefit from a GPS, he may also want and older folks, convened by the to review his business cards, walkway on 33rd Street and which state that he is running applauded the roar of the for governor on the 2019 approaching motorcycles ticket, when, in fact, the “God bless of the 2 Million Bikers race is in 2018.

Texas. group readying to Kyle “Based escort the marchers on Stickman” Chapman, I mean, California.” their brisk walk. who was arrested after Andrew Blanch Only a handful of allegedly taking part in Trump supporter, gubernatorial people opposed them. a March 4 melee during candidate A young man on a a pro-Trump gathering skateboard yelled “Fuck in Berkeley, spoke of “not Trump”; another flipped taking shit from these people off the crowd as they marched anymore.” Announcing another back toward the park. There were no rally occurring April 15 in Berkeley, the heated confrontations like sister MAGA 41-year-old, who was arrested on charges marches in Center City, Penn., where the of felony assault with a deadly weapon, event was shut down by antifascist protes- assured the crowd that the purpose was to tors, or Huntington Beach, where Trump “peacefully assemble.” supporters beat a protester.

State Assemblyman Travis Allen Once back at the park, the speeches followed with a speech that consisted began—and they illustrated the somewhat mostly of the Huntington Beach divided state of Trump’s union.

Republican repeating his own name.

A few of the brief talks were But perhaps the most surreal moment concerned with Senate Bill 18’s potential was when an elderly man who didn’t impact on gun rights. SB 18 is a piece identify himself walked up to the of legislation from Democratic Sen. podium. Pointing to his wife seated a Richard Pan and is informally called the great distance from the crowd, the man “Children’s Bill of Rights.” The correlainformed them that “she thinks everyone tion is unclear other than guns are danger- hates her because she’s a Muslim.” ous and this piece of legislation is meant “I’ll tell you something, I don’t care to keep children out of harm. too much for Muslim stuff,” he revealed Jennifer Lynn gave the most sobering to the dwindling audience. “They’re speech of the afternoon. She spoke of the backbiting people. … I’ve had Muslims struggles facing female veterans in and out tell me, ‘You can’t trust a Muslim.’” of the military; from being more likely to “We all prefer our own tribe,” he become homeless than their male countercontinued. parts, to sexual assault being on the rise.

At this point, his middle-aged daughter, “And these women are forced to who had been holding onto him, told him, face their perpetrator on a daily basis,” “We have to stop,” and led him away.

Lynn said as she highlighted the need It was 3:57 p.m. The event was slated for an outlet for them to report without to end at 4 p.m. retaliation.

“Not sure who that guy was, he wasn’t As the speeches continued, a moment on the speakers list,” Peterson said shortly of concern eventually did present itself. after the event wrapped up. “We were not A man introducing himself as Dan feeling it either.” approached the podium to announce In all, two truckloads of tangible that two people had their tires slashed. items—such as clothes, blankets and “They’ve been arrested already,” he toiletries—were collected for veterans claimed of the culprits. “So let’s give a and donated to Sacramento’s Stand Down big thank you to the Sacramento PD.” organization. Ω

Civic-minded stubbornness sometimes pays off.

After months of being the only politician in Sacramento to suggest homeless people deserve the right to exist outside without arrest, Councilman Allen Warren finally got his colleagues to consider a temporary safe ground in his North Sacramento district.

But that consideration came with a huge catch from mayor Darrell Steinberg, who said he would give Warren’s idea a fair shake only if homeless advocates agreed to stop lobbying him to repeal an unlawful camping ordinance that makes sleeping outside illegal.

Steinberg made his irritable counteroffer after midnight had eclipsed an already-lengthy and tension-filled council meeting. And it appeared that Steinberg, a longtime state lawmaker getting a refresher course in direct democracy, had had enough.

“Here’s my deal, I will not support this in any way unless there’s an understanding with the advocates that we’re going to … fully evaluate it and that we do not take endless hours here in the council chamber on this camping ordinance,” he said, exasperated. “You want to try this? That would be my compact with you.”

As for the tent encampment, it would exist for just four months, Warren said.

Thirteen people from the dwindling, late-night audience testified in favor of the idea, with a few people calling Warren a hero for bucking the political norm.

But Steinberg, who opposed the camping ban as a council member in the 1990s but has resisted calls to repeal it now, seemed annoyed that his plan to raise as much as $40 million for a voucherbased housing reallocation wasn’t garnering the same enthusiasm from those in the audience.

Then he assigned Warren the impossible task of silencing a diverse group of individuals from housing, health, faith and other areas who think the camping ban is wrong. Because, Steinberg said, “I’m not doing it. I’m not doing this every week. I’m not doing it.”

(Raheem F. Hosseini)

FaIleD hall paSS Sacramento’s interim police chief, Brian Louie, has not been shy about admitting he wants the permanent job of top cop around the capital. At the March 21 City Council meeting, however, Louie suddenly found himself facing a wall of skepticism about his handling of police videos from the very officials who will be making the hire.

In the wake of two highly controversial officer-involvedshootings in the city of Sacramento, council members passed new use-of-force policies that mandate all police-owned videos of OIS incidents be released within 30 days of the shots being fired.

The policy allows the police chief to ask for an exemption in special cases. On February 10, Sacramento officers were drawn into a gun battle near the intersection of Del Paso Boulevard and Marysville Road with Armani Lee, an alleged gang member they were attempting to take into custody for a shooting the previous week.

Lee survived multiple gunshot wounds.

Sacramento Police Department failed to release a host of videos in their possession on March 10, instead having Louie appear a week and a half later in front of the council to ask for a 60-day exemption to the city’s new policy.

Louie also came armed with a letter backing up his request from Sacramento County District Attorney Anne Marie Schubert, the language of which did the chief no favors with council members.

The council voted unanimously to deny Louie’s exemption request. Six days later, the department began releasing videos of its shootout with Lee, none of which document shots being fired.

(Scott Thomas Anderson)

03.30.17 | SN&R | 7

illustration by serene lusano

Pleading guilty before teenagers Organizers of high school DUI court say the goal is to educate, not humiliate

by Matt KraMer

Gregory Smith sat inside West Campus High School’s gymnasium on March 24 to learn his punishment for driving while intoxicated.

Surrounding the 24-year-old defendant was not a jury of his peers, but a group of about 900 teenagers on folding chairs and gym risers. As the students looked on, Sacramento Superior Court Judge Laurie Earl read the double-charge against Smith: driving under the influence of alcohol, and driving with a blood alcohol concentration of 0.08 percent or higher—in Smith’s case, 0.15 percent.

This scene was part of the DUI Court in Schools Program, an initiative started six years ago and funded by a grant from the California Office of Traffic Safety through the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. The idea behind the program, which hosts between 12 and 14 such events around the Sacramento region each year, is to educate students about the consequences—legal and civil—of driving under the influence.

Following the legally binding sentencing hearing, the event opens up to questions and interactive presentations involving those on both sides of the bench, 8 | SN&R | 03.30.17

which, in this case, is a folding table draped in a black cloth with the superior court’s emblem.

The idea is to show teenagers a real-life example of what can happen to them if they get behind the wheel while intoxicated, explained Angela Kellogg, who serves on the Law Enforcement Chaplaincy-Sacramento’s Traffic Safety Team, which coordinated Friday’s event.

But the program also boasts the perhaps accidental distinction of turning a DUI defendant’s most embarrassing moment into a set piece viewed by teenagers— conjuring a medieval pillory in the era of Mean Girls.

But public shaming is not the point, Kellogg said.

“This is [on] a completely volunteer basis for the defendant to show up,” Kellogg said. “They come on their own terms. It is presented to them [as an option].”

In this case, Smith agreed to be sentenced in front of high schoolers in return for a little leniency. After Smith entered his guilty plea inside the high school gym, Judge Earl shaved off $50 in fines and dismissed the first charge “in the

interest of justice.” Smith’s final sentence?

Five days of community service through the Sheriff’s Work Project and three years on probation; his license suspended for six months; and $1,765.98 in fines.

SN&R asked Stephen Cody, visiting assistant professor of law at McGeorge School of Law, to weigh in on the program. Cody said that, at its essence, holding a hearing at a high school doesn’t add any greater chance of public embarrassment than is already present in a standard court setting.

The problem, Cody explained, is if the defendant was threatened with stiffer penalties if he didn’t take part in the program. The professor acknowledged that the distinction between coercion and a legal incentive isn’t always clear.

“I would certainly have some concern if the ultimate goal was public shaming,” Cody said. “That said, most criminal proceedings are public. In theory, sentences are almost always open to the public if they want to attend.”

For his part, Smith was extremely apologetic to the gym-slash-court. He admitted to being under the influence and

belligerent when he was arrested—adding that he had consumed between eight and 12 drinks at various Folsom bars the night of November 5, 2016, when a Highway Patrol officer pulled him over in Rancho Cordova on his way home.

Smith also fielded questions from students, telling them that virtually every aspect of his life had been affected negatively by his DUI arrest.

Along with Judge Earl, Smith and Kellogg, those participating in a question-and-answer session included Deputy District Attorney Kelly Clark and Jill Mason of Mothers Against Drunk Driving—herself a victim of a DUI offender.

Mason, who sits in a wheelchair, explained that a drunk driver paralyzed her from the waist down and killed her boyfriend. A triathlete and runner before the accident, Mason emphasized to the students that Smith’s first-time DUI could have turned out differently.

Kellogg said the stark reality of Mason’s story and the consequences of Smith’s case are what make the program stand out from other driving-safety programs like Every 15 Minutes, which elaborately fictionalizes car wreck and its consequences.

“That’s what this is all about,” Kellogg told SN&R. “Showing them the reality of our choices. We’re all free to make choices in life; we’re just not free to choose the consequences—and the ramifications are more than they know.”

Kellogg believed the program might be effective in preventing other crimes, such as drug and shoplifting offenses, but its goal remains curtailing intoxicated driving by young people. In that sense, it’s difficult to argue that it’s priorities are misplaced.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, DUI crashes are the leading cause of death for teens. Nationwide, 2,270 teens aged 16 through 19 were killed in DUI-related incidents in 2014 alone, according to the latest information available on the CDC’s website.

In closing the post-sentencing Q&A session, Judge Earl once again addressed the assembled students.

“We’re not here to embarrass Greg,” Earl told them. “We’re here because we need people to participate [and learn from] this program.” Ω

join the

team!

Unseen intimidation More California landlords are threatening undocumented immigrants with eviction

by Scott thomaS anderSon

s c o t t a @ne w s re v i e w . c o m

about immigrants’ rights, and am the daughter of Daniel Saver entered the state Capitol last week an immigrant, but I also find myself on the other on a mission to speak for a woman who could side, in that I am a landlord,” Garcia told Chiu. “I not speak for herself. think the penalties are excessive.”

An attorney from Palo Alto, Saver had been But without a painful price tag, landlords in the middle of a drama worthy of Dickens’ who engage in immigrant bullying can still make pen, one that involved a landlord threatening an a profit. That point was driven home by Jith undocumented mother with the promise of calling Meganathan of the Western Center on Law and immigration authorities if she invoked her rights Poverty. as a tenant a day before Christmas Eve. Saver “In areas where rents are rapidly rising, there intervened on behalf of Community Legal Services, are financial incentives to threaten tenants and which counts itself among the small number of intimidate them to vacate the premises, so that you legal-aid groups pushing back against a new trend don’t have to go through the process of a statutory in immigrant exploitation: property owners leverageviction and can rent the unit out at a high price, ing fear for profit. much faster,” Meganathan testified. “We need to It’s a tactic Saver and his colleagues are seeing make a light go on in that landlord’s head—change more and more, one they think highlights an that financial calculation” by making it illegal and intersection between California’s skyrocketing rents costly for landlords to report tenants. and an anti-Hispanic tide from the White Meganathan added that, by House. his count, there are fewer than Saver’s client couldn’t take the 200 legal service groups in chance of being separated from “In areas where California helping lowher young children. He says income renters and fewer rents are rapidly she yielded to the landlord’s than 20 private attorneys intimidation, forgoing legal rising, there are financial involved in fair-housing protections that documented incentives to threaten litigation. The small group Californians wouldn’t feel of attorneys handling tenants.” the need to surrender. those problems are reportOn March 21, the Jith Meganathan ing a large volume of Assembly Judiciary policy advocate, Western Center incidents, especially cases Committee considered a bill on Law and Poverty of undocumented renters that would prohibit landlords being harassed and wrongfully from threatening to report their evicted. tenants to U.S. Immigration and After hearing from witnesses, Customs Enforcement, or ICE, in retaliaJudiciary Committee Chair Mark Stone said it’s tion for making complaints. The bill would also bar landlords from sharing a tenant’s immigration status not a mystery why the problem is escalating. “I think this is a bill that levels the playing field, with law enforcement for the purpose of harassgiven the stark realities of what’s going on in the ment, eviction or coercion.

[Trump] administration and the pressure being Saver was one of the first experts to testify put on these families who are even afraid enough before the committee. As for his client, she’s still to not leave their homes,” Stone said. living in the shadows.

Garcia left the chambers in time to be absent Assembly Bill 291 was authored by Rep. for the vote. Every other committee member David Chiu of San Francisco, who’s advancing the protections despite resistance from four apart- voted to advance AB 291, with the lone exception of Roseville Republican Kevin Kiley, who ment associations in the Bay Area and Southern voted against it. The bill still has to pass the California. Those groups were represented by Assembly’s Committee on Privacy and Consumer Ron Kingston, who told committee members Protection before it can go to a full vote. the bill’s penalties against landlords—including In his closing remarks, Chiu emphasized fines equal to one year of rent—were “excessive, that he’s determined to get it passed: “We are in based on actions.” an era where an immigrant tenant’s life can be Assemblywoman Cristina Garcia, who sits on destroyed with a single phone call.” Ω the judiciary committee, agreed. “I’m passionate

• advertising manager • editor • marketing & PUblications consUltant For more inFormation and to aPPly, go to www.newsreview.com/jobs.

SN&R is an Equal Opportunity Employer that actively seeks diversity in the workplace.

EXOTIC

PLANTS

Get into plants with our large plants sale!

20% off

plants 4 ft & above In-store only. No double discounts.

Some exclusions apply.

Expires 4/30/17.

916.922.4769

1833 Howe Ave Sacramento, CA

exoƟcplantsltd.com 03.30.17

|

SN&R

|

9

M A ” I E “ L B A T I M O D N I

OPENING NIGHT SATURDAY APR.1 KICKOFF 7:30PM

V

BONNEY FIELD $20 STARTING TICKET PRICE

LIVE MUSIC BEFORE THE MATCH

OVER 20 BEER LABELS ON TAP

m

FREE SABA BIKE VALET

916.307.6100 SacRepublicFC.com 10 | SN&R | 03.30.17

Old Sac, new tricks Perennial debate about historic district misses the point

by William Burg

Sacramento’s debate about Old Sacramento is stuck in a time warp.

The same issues are always raised.

Sacramentans stay away unless coerced by out-of-town visitors. There are too many T-shirt and candy shops and not enough parking. Meanwhile, tourists love Old Sacramento. The California State Railroad Museum is an internationally recognized tourist destination.

The Sacramento History Museum’s Underground Sidewalks Tour is an enormous success. Tourists even like the T-shirt and candy shops—but they seldom cross Interstate 5 and visit the rest of Sacramento.

So, why does Old Sacramento fail to engage locals or introduce tourists to the rest of the city? Perhaps Sacramento’s best-known historic district can learn from the success of the city’s other historic districts.

In the 1950s and 1960s, “historic preservation” was intended mostly for house museums and tourist attractions.

Old Sacramento became a National Historic Landmark, but that provided almost no protection or regulation.

Lacking a local preservation ordinance, Sacramento created its own rules to regulate architecture, signage and programming, administered by the city’s historian as a living museum. These rules focused on restoration to a particular period, centering on a Gold Rush theme for tourist appeal.

In the 1970s, a generation of young people moved to Sacramento’s central city and fell in love with its Victorian architecture. They lobbied City Hall to establish a new type of historic district, focused on rehabilitation, using historic buildings as homes and businesses, not museums. Today, Sacramento has 33 local historic districts and hundreds of landmarks. Exterior appearance is regulated by the city’s preservation director and commission, but uses are not. Historic facades contain innovative functions, from infill housing to co-working spaces, breweries and biotech laboratories. Today’s historic districts

include R Street, the city’s arts corridor; Fremont Park, a major dining and festival destination; Cathedral Square, downtown’s urban living room; and Southside Park, rich in cultural and architectural diversity. Oak Park’s historic district along Broadway is a hub of revitalization and reinvestment. Almost all are residential neighborhoods.

Historic districts also stimulate new growth; two-thirds of all new housing built in Sacramento since 2010 is located in and around these districts.

In contrast, Old Sacramento is still administered by the city historian as a museum-and-tourist area, with regulations often stricter than those used in city historic districts. But there is ample room for housing in the upper stories of those historic buildings, and an enormous unmet demand for downtown living.

The district has fewer than a hundred residences, mostly in three buildings: the Clarendon, iLofts, and the Orleans.

Doubling or tripling that population can transform the neighborhood while leaving its historic fabric intact.

Instead of quick fixes like rebranding and public art, a repopulated Old Sacramento can pierce the highway’s barrier the same way that Midtown residents do, by inviting friends to visit and enjoy their neighborhood. Residents can also strengthen connections to downtown, and across the river to West Sacramento, as they are both within walking distance.

By emulating our other historic districts and increasing its population, Sacramento’s 21st century embarcadero can more closely resemble the lost West End, diverse and densely populated, with energetic nightlife and tourist appeal.

Parking will still be terrible, and there will probably be plenty of candy and T-shirts, but that’s a small price to pay to teach Old Sacramento new tricks. Ω William Burg is a historian, past president of Preservation Sacramento, and a resident of the Winn Park historic district.

An extended version of this article is available at www.newsreview.com/sacramento

1 year anniversary April 1St • 3pm-11pm

cousins maine lobster @ 3pm live music with brandon and the bee’s knees @ 5pm giveaways + raffle for the first 100 people

good people, good timeS, great beer

4621 24th Street Sacramento, CA • 916.228.4610 www.fountainheadbrewingco.com 03.30.17 | SN&R | 11

Voted

e c a l P t s e #1 B to Sip Wine 13 Wineries. 1 location.

Clarksburg Wine Company Heringer Estates Todd Taylor Carvalho Family Winery Elevation Ten

Merlo Family Vineyards Rendez-vous Winery Due Vigne di Famiglia Draconis Three Wine Company

Perry Creek Batia Vineyards Bump City Wines

Monday to Sunday 11 am to 5 pm.

35265 Willow Ave, Clarksburg, CA 95612 (916) 744-1615 | OldSugarMill.com

Comedy Series

ON SALE NOW!

NICK OFFERMAN + SPECIAL GUESTS

SUNDAY APRIL 23RD

MEMORIAL AUDITORIUM

Get your tickets at www.CapCityComedySeries.com 12 | SN&R | 03.30.17

Powered by

People power Activists target immigration policies by jeff vonkaenel

One day after President Donald Trump and House Speaker Paul Ryan withdrew their Obamacare replacement bill because they knew it would go down in defeat, 40 Sacramentans came together for an American Civil Liberties Union People Power meeting. It was held at the Barrio Cafe in South Land Park, and they were there to discuss how to resist Trump’s policies in general and his immigration policies specifically.

After receiving a massive “Trump bump” of tens of millions of dollars in donations and thousands more volunteers, the ACLU on March 11 launched a national grassroots People Power campaign with 2,200 local gatherings across the country. Twelve of those gatherings were held in the Sacramento region, in people’s homes and local cafes, where longtime agitators as well as newly engaged activists watched a national ACLU forum livestreamed from Miami.

During the streaming, the ACLU presented a Freedom Cities Action Guide to the People Power teams.

Focused on immigration, this guide provides practical tools for activists to use in their communities.

The group at Barrio Cafe discussed how they could implement the ACLU resistance campaign in Sacramento.

The discussion touched on how to connect with the other 11 Sacramento People Power groups and how to approach local law enforcement.

The recent Saturday follow-up meeting involved preparations for an upcoming town hall meeting with Trump supporter Sacramento County Sheriff Scott Jones and the head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, to be held Tuesday evening, after SN&R press time.

It was uplifting to be with a group of people who, with very little ego and a whole lot of dedication, were trying to figure out how they could be effective activists. ACLU board member

je ffv @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

Jose Quezada explained the importance of California Senate Bill 54, which would prohibit state and local law enforcement agencies from using their resources to investigate, detain or arrest people for immigration enforcement purposes. The group asked for talking points so they could improve their lobbying techniques.

Some of the questions were basic.

When was Jones up for election? What does it cost the county to work with immigration officials? How best to educate people about what constitutes a proper warrant? I left the meeting encouraged that these activists were going to make a difference.

Just as, only the day before, nationwide activists had made an impact by preventing the Republicans from giving a huge tax break to millionaires and removing health care from 24 million Americans. While the extreme-rightwing Republican House Freedom Caucus, which held out for a plan that would provide even less coverage, gets much of the credit for defeating Ryan’s plan, the truth is that it wouldn’t have passed in the Senate.

What really killed the Republican health care plan was that only 17 percent of Americans supported the plan, according to a Quinnipiac University poll. Politicians who want to remain in office rarely vote in favor of proposals supported by only 17 percent of the population. Activists and journalists made sure that the public knew what was at risk, and both activism and education were keys to stopping the legislation.

Sitting in Barrio Cafe that Saturday, I felt I was watching American history being made. And, as a side benefit, the mushroom asparagus empanadas were delicious. Ω Jeff vonKaenel is the president, CEO and majority owner of the News & Review.

Mattress Liquidation!

’S mento SacraerS and winn S—with loSer ry pointS ra arbit

50-80% oFF retaiL store Prices! hn by jo

f

queen Mattress sets start at $150

lynn

All sizes AvAilAble

no credit check Financing! onLy $40 down!

caLL or text chuck at 916.230.0113

Trumpcare humiliaTed

Lo ve yo ur old gla sse s bu t

On March On March 24, Speaker of the House Paul Ryan pulled his pet legislation, the American Health Care Act, due to disastrous estimates that 24 the American million million people would lose their health coverage, rampant unpopularity and insufficient party support. California Rep. Ami Bera estimated and insufficient this saved this saved the coverage of 100,000 people in Sacramento County alone.

Congresswoman Congresswoman Doris Matsui called the retreat “a victory for American families, families, whose health care was on the line if this Trumpcare bill had passed.” passed.” Never one to miss an opportunity for pettiness, America’s socalled called dealmaker in chief is already planning to undercut and sabotage the Affordable Care Act rather than work with Congress to improve the the Affordable flawed flawed law. Donald Trump is sicker than we thought.

+ 100,000

illuStration by Serene luSano

Hats off

GiG GaG

sacramento Kings center Willie Cauley-stein recently designed two hats for the team store: a “crispy” white one and retro,

Continuing his comeback from his latest DUI run-in,

NEED A NEW PRESCRIPTION? “That Guy” can fill your new still love! prescription in the frames you

Look good. See well.

Pay wholesale.

Call or visit us today!

2203 del paso blvd • 916.226.0257 • thatguyeyewear.com

PINTS

& PEDALS

sacramento-famous broadcaster Mark s. allen added yet another job to his gig-economy resume. On Monday, Allen was named the new morning show host at his old radio station, NOW 100.5 KZZO-FM, where he’ll hold down the 5:30-10 a.m. slot. Allen also appears on ABC10’s Morning Blend, which picked him up after he was let go from CBS Local’s Good Day Sacramento, and hosts Extra Butter, a weekly show about movies for people who don’t care about movies. In a statement, CBS Radio’s vice president of programming, Chad Rufer, called his new employee “one of the hardest working people in show business.” Is that necessarily a good thing?

red leather one. As far as flat-brimmed fitteds go, they’re fine. But what makes them more appealing is that up to $5,000 of their sales will go to the Art Beast studio to help young adults pursue their creative passions—an even better decision than Willie dying his dread-tips blonde and purple, of which Scorekeeper also approves. All athletic millionaires should have ridiculous hair.

+ 15,000

- 100.5

saCKinG oaKland

GReeK to us

On March 27, NFL owners approved the oakland Raiders’ move to las Vegas in 2019. Led by Fresno State alum and rookie sensation Derek Carr, the iconic (yet frequently dysfunctional) team just had its first solid season since getting mollywhopped in the 2002 Super Bowl.

Raider Nation deserved better after its unwavering, delirious devotion to this team. But the biggest losers are the Nevada taxpayers who will be forced to fork over $750 million on a stadium to house brain-rattling, costumed warplay to amuse drunk, gambling tourists.

March 25 marked the grand opening of the

- 750

new family Center attached to the Greek orthodox Church of the annunciation— hosts of the popular food and culture extravaganza, the Sacramento Greek Festival. Costing $13 million and boasting 43,000 square feet, the building will house a multitude of community events and bring the festival back to East Sacramento after 30 years at the Convention Center. Opa!

+ 13

SacTown SocialBikes

For availability & to book a seat go to: www.sactownsocialbikes.com

916.968.BIKE (2453)

Your Downtown Service Shop SMOG CHECK

3175

$

(reg $49.75) most cars.

Call for details. Same day.

Fast In/Out

OIL

CHANGE

2699

$

Call for details.

916 554-6471 2000 16th St Sacramento M-F 7:30-5:30 Sat 8-4 sacsmog.com

$60 EMISSIONS DIAGNOSTIC w/repairs at time of service. (reg $120) most cars.

For renewal reg. only.

Call for details.

Use your smart phone QR reader for more specials

03.30.17 | SN&R | 13

r o f e t s a t a

a s w ic h b y R . E . G r d fo rd ar in B ra P h ot os b y D

SUcce SS T he

cockroaches that inhabit the state

Capitol weren’t stopped by metal detectors or cops guarding the

Chris Jarosz overCame a rough upbringing to beCome saCramento’s go-to restaurateur. now he faCes his biggest Challenge: feeding the Capitol.

Chris Jarosz invites you to have dinner under the dome.

14 | SN&R | 03.30.17

doors. They weren’t impressed by the building’s golden-poppy marble floor mosaics or the stained-glass goddess Minerva, watchful beneath her azure helmet. No, the cockroaches went for the starchy crumbs, the sweets, cold cuts and layers of grease around the dishwashing equipment. They feasted.

They gorged themselves to death.

Invited to feed the powerful Beyond his nonfood background, Jarosz brought little else to the table as a budding restaurateur. All he knew about food was that he liked to eat it.

His upbringing was dismal. Born in Massachusetts, he moved with his family to western Pennsylvania after his father killed himself when Jarosz was 3 years old. His mother remarried, but domestic life was chaotic for Chris and his two brothers, Jarosz says.

For escape, young Chris turned to soccer. He loved the game and believed he could play at the top college level. The tease of a soccer scholarship ended when Jarosz was injured in a car crash. An itinerant life of failed prospects beckoned.

Jarosz arrived in Sacramento around 2000 and continued on a trajectory that was mostly downward. He spent money he didn’t have and was chased by creditors. He was sued multiple times in debt disputes. He drank too much and was arrested twice for drunken driving.

He’s spent most of his life, he says, trying to figure out who he is and running from what he doesn’t want to be.

“My upbringing was racist, sexist, misogynist,” he says. “People around me taught hate. As a kid, I became kind of a drifter. I moved around a lot. I’ve had no business plan, no structure. I’ve created a lot of financial problems for myself because I had no experience.”

Jarosz was able to pivot his deficient upbringing into full-fledged success. His presence in the state Capitol demonstrates Jarosz’s resilience, his endlessly magnetic pull and boundless capacity for risk.

The lease he won to run the Capitol’s food services amplifies the definition of “sweetheart deal” and effectively requires him to pay zero rent for the next 20 years.

His landlords, the Assembly and Senate rules committees, have minimal expectations and decline to comment on their agreement with Jarosz.

Under the lease, Jarosz “shall prepare and serve wholesome, palatable, and nutritious meals of quality and variety.”

The state covers all utilities. Rent is 0.5 percent of gross sales over $500,000 per month—an epic number no restaurant in Sacramento can count on reaching, industry professionals say. Which means Jarosz pays nothing.

Sotiris Ko lokotronis Sacramento developer, Ja rosz’s form

er Saddle Roc

But Jarosz has big plans. He wants to make money at the Capitol. He wants to build his reputation. He wants to transform the basement cafe and sixthfloor coffee lounge into iconic sites worthy of their surroundings—hot spots for tourists, lobbyists, legislators, staff, the governor.

“At the Capitol, you get to be in front of people who make the rules,” Jarosz says.

Ultimately, he sees the Capitol as one tributary in a delta of unique restaurants and bars that flow across Northern California. He wants to reconfigure how people eat, luring them away from chains and franchises and into places with bespoke local narratives of his own invention.

But there are big hurdles to overcome—starting with those demons from his past. His history is filled with promises and failures, bright ideas, solid opportunities, poor decisions and circumstances spinning out of control.

The Capitol project will showcase his skills and erase the demons forever, Jarosz believes.

“We’re going to be different,” he says.

“The Capitol is the coolest building in the state. But this is a far more complicated project than what’s been in there before.

We face challenges to keep the quality up and to pay our labor costs. There are a lot of variables. It’s going to be hard.”

k landlord

Failing toward success Opportunity brought Chris Jarosz to Sacramento after failure drove him from everywhere else. He knocked around the country, up to the Northeast, down to Texas, Florida, out to Los Angeles. Then a friend needed help running a bar in Sacramento. Jarosz came north, went to work and quickly put down roots. He met a woman, had a daughter and got married.

The marriage soon ended, but Jarosz found a home. There was something about Sacramento, he says, a nonjudgmental quality that distinguished the community from the weary, class-burdened cultures of the Rust Belt where Jarosz was raised.

“If there’s a place I want to call home, it’s Sacramento,” he says.

Jarosz knew many homes. Between Pennsylvania and California, he took and left various jobs and tried several careers. He promoted music acts and took community college classes in art photography. He joined the Marine Corps, trained as a military cop, but quit when his commitment expired. “Taking orders wasn’t for me,” he says.

Back in civilian life, he tried sales. He hustled mortgages. A gifted salesman with a soft persistence and sly confidence that never becomes obnoxious, he finally began to make some money. Then the housing

“A TASTE FOR SUCCESS” continued on page 16

One day in December 2014, a Sacramento County health inspector poked around in the basement cafeteria and found what environmental-health professionals call an “active infestation” of omnivorous insects in “various stages of life.”

Red tags were posted. Exterminators were called. The infestation was severe.

Two inspections were necessary before the cafeteria was approved to resume business. The cockroaches retreated to fight another day.

The Capitol’s basement cafe finally reopened in January after the state Legislature, which controls the building, found a new operator: a self-propelled tastemaker named Chris Jarosz.

Taking command of the Capitol’s dining facilities, Jarosz wants to satisfy sophisticated appetites in a monumental building that prohibits signage and requires customers to pass through metal detectors, a place formerly infested with cockroaches and surrounded by countless dining options, from food trucks to white tablecloths.

If Jarosz can succeed at the Capitol, he can fortify his image as the hottest restaurant operator in Sacramento.

For Jarosz, signing a lease to run the Capitol’s basement cafe, catering operation and sixth-floor coffee lounge was a risky chance to position himself as a godsend, a genius or maybe a fool.

With a stable of restaurants and bars stretching from West Sacramento to downtown and Midtown, out to the suburbs and into the Bay Area, Jarosz and his kitchens seem to be everywhere. He can fire a cheeseburger, but he’s no chef.

Rather, he’s a concept machine. Investors, developers and landlords call him with opportunities to fill vacant new spaces or revive deadened culinary tropes.

How Jarosz came to imagine himself as the latest guru of Sacramento restaurants is a story of self-creation.

Eight years ago, he knew practically nothing about the food service industry.

His kitchen experience was minimal.

He had no money or business plan. But he was eager to learn, desperate and willing to gamble everything on a shopworn food truck he found on Craigslist.

Telling his story, he repeats one sentence again and again like a mantra: “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“He has tal ent for identify ing and hiring c hefs who can exe cute his vision.”

03.30.17 | SN&R | 15

“A TASTE FOR SUCCESS” continued from page 15 mortgage bubble burst and the economy collapsed. Such was the story of his life.

“I was doing pretty good for once,” he says. “I didn’t love the mortgage business, but I was good at it.”

By 2008, with the Great Recession bearing down hard, he had to become good at something else. Food would become the next frontier for Jarosz.

Today, the former drifter, who turns 49 in April, writes concept menus, hires chefs and creates restaurant themes across Sacramento. Beyond the Capitol building, his budding empire includes a Broderick Roadhouse in West Sacramento, Midtown and Walnut Creek. Broderick will soon extend to Howe Avenue, Folsom, Roseville and beyond. Jarosz says he hopes to build 50 Brodericks under licensing deals and corporate ownerships, but for now the number is just a goal and the franchise concept is in pre-alpha phase.

Jarosz plays a starring role at Milagro Centre, the new dining and entertainment complex in Carmichael that celebrates local chefs. Jarosz will run the Patriot at Milagro and partner with Mesa Mercado.

A food shop called Hunt and Gather is also set for Milagro. He plans to sell coffee and bicycles in Township 9 off of Richards Boulevard. There are ideas for a movie festival on Del Paso Boulevard.

Amid the flurry of openings, Jarosz knows how to reverse direction quickly.

He sold Localis, an S Street restaurant, last year. He closed Saddle Rock on L Street in February after just seven months. The glass windows are papered over, awaiting the next restaurant concept.

“He has lots of energy,” says Sotiris Kolokotronis, a Sacramento developer and Jarosz’s landlord at Saddle Rock. “He has talent for identifying and hiring chefs who can execute his vision.”

It’s a manic juggler’s pace that sometimes makes even Jarosz wonder how he does it. One key ingredient is the relationships he builds with investors and developers, people like Kolokotronis who control site locations, square footage and rental terms. Jarosz is a hot name right now, and local investors and developers seek him out.

“I like his attitude, the way he comes up with ideas, works hard and gets after it,” says Allan Davis, a Sacramento developer and owner of Milagro.

Many Jarosz projects suffer delays, but that’s common in the restaurant business.

Inevitably, he pushes ahead, working with investors, landlords and vendors, stamping his brand on kitchens and bars and banquettes.

The urgency may be driven by fear and familiarity with the reverse side of success.

Jarosz has been broke. He has lived on maxed-out credit cards. He has been pursued by creditors and sued at least eight 16 | SN&R | 03.30.17

s ’ t a h t y t i s r e v d a o n “ T h e r e ’s ” . e m p o t going to s Chris Jarosz restaurateur

Everything to lose

times since 2004 for small-dollar contract breaches and failures to pay, including four vehicle agreements. There was a tax lien in 2007. In 2005, he was arrested for drunken driving and failed to appear at his hearing. The oversight bought him a sentence of 16 days in jail. A second drunken driving arrest came in 2014. He showed up for court, pleaded no contest and asked the judge to delay the mandated incarceration because his restaurant business was hanging by a thread and needed him present and accountable.

When pressed for details about the lawsuits and drunken driving arrests, Jarosz turns silent. He hangs his head in acknowledgment of the two DUI convictions, which both occurred in Sacramento. Of his credit problems, he says, “I didn’t understand the business. I’ve worked hard to pay everyone back, and some people have been more patient than others. I’ve learned you have to work seven days a week, 16 hours a day.

I had no role model, no mentor, no one to educate me.”

He doesn’t announce his history to investment partners, but they seem to understand Jarosz has seen his share of trouble.

“I don’t know much about his background,” says Davis, the Milagro owner.

“But I know he works hard.”

Gambling on a food truck Hard at work with new investors, partnerships and equity positions in his multiple restaurants, Jarosz maintains the somewhat bewildered look of a person whose comfort zone is still under construction. As he slips into middle age, he wraps himself in the costume of nihilistic youth: black T-shirts, tattooed arms and pale, nightclubgray skin. His favorite motif is skulls.

Compared with other restaurant executives his age, who fixate on scalability, food

costs and labor, he looks like a guy who might run a food truck.

And that’s what he is at heart. A food truck called Wicked ’Wich became Jarosz’s ride to success. When he launched the business, it was not an auspicious time to take on such a risk. It was 2008, and the recession was crushing him. His mortgage sales work had been hammered. His credit was shot. Loan payments were due. Adding to the pressure, Jarosz had a wife and children to help support. After his first marriage ended, he soon remarried and became the father of two more daughters. All three children live with the couple today.

Food trucks were becoming popular in Sacramento, evolving from their roachcoach origins into moveable street feasts with hipster vibes. Jarosz found a rusty 1975 food truck on Craigslist, but it was parked in San Luis Obispo. There were food trucks for sale in Sacramento, but Jarosz, a believer in serendipity, was determined to own the San Luis vehicle. There was no reason, he says. He simply had to have it. He borrowed nearly $20,000, enlisted a friend to help convoy the investment home and headed south.

“I didn’t know what I was doing,” he says. “I could have found a food truck in Sacramento. The seller thought we were crazy to drive it home.”

The truck came with a trailer. Near Kettleman City, the hitch broke and the trailer flipped. Jarosz and his friend pushed the trailer to the side of the road and continued their journey.

In Sacramento, he stripped the mobile kitchen and cleaned as best he could. The truck had issues. It featured a stick shift. (“Not good for hot grease in the back,” Jarosz says.) Without professional kitchen training, he imagined a basic menu and began to cook practice dishes. His learning strategy was trial-and-error. He focused on stuff he liked from his childhood, food he knew well, western Pennsylvania simplicities: french fries, sandwiches, soft-shell crabs and a sea bass dish.

“I just kept my head down and cooked,” he says. “I didn’t know what I was doing.”

Despite Jarosz’s self-professed ignorance and inexperience, the timing was good. Customers hungry for quick, cheap meals flocked to food trucks, and the Wicked ‘Wich became a crowdpleasing attraction on Sacramento streets. But the truck did not bring complete salvation. In 2011, the refrigeration failed. The truck flunked its health inspection. Jarosz’s cash flow dried up. He had no money for fresh supplies or repairs. He was headed back where he started.

But luck was with him. Ever the salesman, Jarosz became known as a local spokesman for food truck operators. He was someone who could describe food truck ambitions in a way that reduced the fear among restaurant owners—a group that saw food trucks as mobile bandits hogging public parking spaces, stealing customers and paying no taxes.

Jarosz helped make peace between trucks and restaurants. The Sacramento chapter of the California Restaurant Association, representing brick-andmortar operators, later would elect him as its three-term president, after he opened the West Sacramento Broderick.

While trying to organize a food truck event in 2011, Jarosz discovered an abandoned building on Sixth Street in West Sacramento. At first, he thought the place might serve as a commissary for food trucks. Looking deeper, he figured the rambling structure was suitably seedy to succeed as a location for rock bands, allowing him to keep the place busy day and night.

He knew the name Broderick described an old neighborhood in West Sacramento and was more recently the identifier of a West Sac street gang.

He did some research and learned the original David Broderick was a corrupt California politician in the Gold Rush era, a U.S. senator and instigator of an 1859 duel against a former friend in San Francisco.

At the duel near Lake Merced, Broderick’s one-shot pistol fired

He may look like your server, but actually he owns the place.

prematurely into the dirt. Defenseless, he faced his adversary and was shot in the right lung. He died three days later.

Bloody history gave Jarosz an inspiration.

Broderick Roadhouse was born.

“It’s my story, too. There’s no adversity that’s going to stop me,” Jarosz says.

“Before long, the place was filled. We started serving food, and people started coming for that. The food was so popular we stopped booking bands.”

The Broderick Roadhouse experience created the road map for the culinary path Jarosz would follow. He would source local ingredients and have his cooks make many products from scratch. He would introduce hot spices and sandwich items with an East Coast flavor, recalled

from his travels and days in western Pennsylvania.

Some of this could be chalked up as marketing gimmicks. But in Sacramento, where many chefs have worked and trained at the same restaurants, Jarosz was able to present himself as something original.

“Sacramento needs more outside influences,” he says.

Now Jarosz faces his biggest challenge.

With his expanding Broderick network, Milagro, Midtown locations and Capitol obligations, he’s spread thin. Soon, his “custom blend” hamburgers and homemade barbecue sauces will cease to be novel.

“He does have a lot going on,” Milagro owner Davis says. “Time will tell how he manages everything.”

Even Jarosz wonders whether he has taken on too much too fast. Restaurants are notoriously tough to run and transitory. With low margins, high labor costs, complex permits and inspections, relentless competition and mercurial audiences, they demand tight management.

“Some days, I think I can do everything,” Jarosz says. “Other days, I realize I take on too much.”

The juggling of new restaurants requires Jarosz to perform an elaborate dance with investors, landlords and inspectors as he hopes to avoid the financial problems that dogged him in the past.

“It’s been all about, ‘How do I keep the doors open?’” he says. “It’s been an interesting shell game, but people are

supportive. 2017 is the year I’m going to make it.”

From his first days with the food truck, Jarosz plowed ahead with the belief that he had nothing to lose. Soon, from the state Capitol to Carmichael and chasing the ghost of David Broderick, he will have everything to lose. Accountability and expectations increase each time Jarosz opens a new restaurant.

His bank statements have improved, but Jarosz says there are still days when “I don’t have a lot left to pay the bills.”

He knows the pressures of his trade and the chaos that can be created by one cockroach. He survives those days with a glance at his right wrist. A tattoo in Latin translates the phrase, “Without fear.” Ω

03.30.17 | SN&R | 17

by Jo hn Fl yn n

ise a r to te a r o b a ll o c s r u Crafty entreprene ene c s l a in s ti r a e th f o le fi the pro During her first, freezing winter in Michigan, Mindy Jovanovic needed a hobby. So she started pouring soy wax creations, partly to pass the time and partly because she’d “spent too much money on candles.”

“I didn’t have any friends, and it was really cold, and I couldn’t go outside to find anything to do,” she said. “And when I moved back [to Sacramento], I was like, ‘I’ve been doing it for long enough that I can start selling these.’”

Under the brand Peace, Love, and Soy Wax (a cleaner, longer-lasting alternative to paraffin), she wove herself into Sacramento’s tight artisan community, selling her candles at craft fairs and the Midtown Farmers Market alongside local muralist Jake Castro, who said he sells wallets and jewelry as a “side hustle.”

But Jovanovic strove for a bigger scene. So in 2015 she co-founded the River City Marketplace, a roving pop-up series that will start April 1 at Fremont Park, then migrate to Southside Park (April 30), McKinley Park (June 24) and Tahoe Park (September 23) before returning to Fremont on October 14.

Inspired by visits to the French Market in New Orleans and Brooklyn Flea in New York, she figured Sacramento’s own, signature artisan market could help its art scene congeal.

“When you have all these creatives coming out and representing the city, it really creates its own culture,” she said.

Her craft fair isn’t the first of its kind in Sacramento, but it’s the largest, with more than 100 vetted vendors planning to show up at each event this year.

These markets act as a meeting ground for makers to swap business tips and sell their handmade goods, though the indifference of passersby can take some getting used to.

“When you start making stuff and put it out, you’re very possessive of it,” said Omonivie Okhade, owner of the jewelry company tula in bloom. “Like, I love my things. And I love you. And if you hate my things, then I hate myself. It’s very personal. But the more [markets] you get into, the more you can step back and look at it objectively.”

In between fairs, artisans have informal potlucks to socialize, collaborate and exchange their wares with each other.

Jovanovic said that she’s traded so many candles for earrings that she doesn’t “need to buy another pair for the rest of [her] life.”

As a like-minded community that meets every so often, there’s a “summer camp friends” bond among them, as artist and furniture designer Trent Dean puts it.

Collaboration trumps competition because the local marketplace still has enough space for everyone, and most share the common goal of bolstering Sacramento’s relatively lethargic art scene—a rising-tidelifts-all-boats sort of thing.

Dean started making furniture when he needed a coat rack but didn’t want to buy one. After garnering compliments and making a few more for friends, he decided to pursue furniture-making full-time. So he joined the Hacker Lab (1715 I Street), a DIY co-working space with tools for artists, techies and makers.

Now, he teaches the same welding class

in which he first learned his skills.

“I couldn’t do what I do without the Hacker Lab, unless I decided to go $400,000 into debt,” he said. “All the skills that I learned here I pass along to new members.”

Dean hasn’t yet sold at the River City Marketplace, but he visits to network and check out the arrangements of other vendors. He appreciates these events because they give artisans control over the presentation of their wares with minimal overhead and direct connections to the customers. It puts personality back into goods that can seem sourceless in the big-box era.

Okhade feels similarly about her pieces. She got into crafting after an unsatisfying stint in health care management, when she chafed at her restricted ability to express herself in the workplace. Now she loves when her creations resonate with her buyers’ personalities.

“Sometimes, it takes my breath away,” she said. “If it’s perfect for them, it’s like, ‘Oh my god. This is meant for you. This is who you are. I’m so happy to coordinate this reunion.’”

Still, selling handmade goods in Sacramento can be challenging. Trisha Rhomberg knows. After moving here in 2001, she’s started multiple fashion lines (some pieces ended up on the teen soapdrama The OC) and launched the currently shuttered cafe-and-shop Bows and Arrows as well as the vintage boutique Old Gold in the WAL Public Market.

As a developing destination, Sacramento lacks the density of New York or San Francisco. That, combined

Enjoy live music, food and wares from local designers, crafters and businesses at the River City Marketplace in Fremont Park (1515 Q Street) from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. on Saturday, April 1.

18 | SN&R | 03.30.17

with the city’s diversity, renders making a profitable product that appeals to all niches borderline impossible, Rhomberg said. She tries to stand out by designing pieces that are made by local artisans— including ceramicists, apothecaries and seamstresses—then making these goods exclusive to her store.

She also runs Makers Mart, a part of the R Street Block Party on June 24 this year, for which she carefully selects about 40 to 50 vendors. Despite Sacramento’s comparatively small size in the crafting world, many participants, including Dean, have told her it’s the best sale day they’ve had because of her meticulous curation.

“When you put something that’s rad next to something that’s just okay, then it makes the thing that’s rad look bad, and it’s not going to sell,” Rhomberg said.

“We have a lot of really talented makers here; the hardest part is matching the maker with their market.”

But she hopes the success of events like Art Street and the Art Hotel will translate. Both events showcased the works of the muralist Castro, who sells at local and Bay Area craft fairs to supplement his fine-arts commission money. He hopes the sunny markets on R Street and in Sacramento’s parks will help the city’s arts-and-crafts scene to grow beyond the walls of abandoned warehouses and hotels.

“We’re all entrepreneurs and struggling as it is,” Castro said. “But once we get this nice following, it really helps us to stay at it. If you want the art to stay, you have to support it.” Ω

THE DUDE ABIDES THE BIG SCREEN See NIGHT&DAY

21

SUNDAY DINNER DEAL See OFF MENU

23

24

CHEESY ENVELOPES See DISH

“We have a lot of really talented makers here; the hardest part is matching the maker with their market.”

Trisha Rhomberg eur artisan and entrepren

BLOODY BALLADS See MUSIC

32

Homecoming humor

From left, Jake Castro, Omonivie Okhade and Mindy Jovanovic love chilling in front of color gradients at the Warehouse Artist Lofts.

photo by lisa baetz

There are 35 seats in the Ooley Theatre, and on Saturday at least 15 of them held a Rosenblum, a fact that made the Sacramento stop on Max Rosenblum’s California-wide “Condescending Hebrew Tour” feel less like a stand-up show and more like a mini family reunion. Rosenblum is a D.C.-based stand-up comic but a UC Davis alumnus, so the homecoming feel of his Sacramento show was not a surprise.

Though it was clear I wasn’t part of the Rosenblum tribe, they were an undeniably welcoming bunch. Before the show started, a woman in the row ahead of me poured four bags of assorted Easter chocolates onto a platter and passed them on. Everyone else seemed to regard this as normal as they selected a handful of their favorite items, so I shrugged and did the same, pleased with the hospitality.

When the lights dimmed it was announced that Stephen Nicks would be opening the show.

He was introduced as the co-creator of the recurring D.C. comedy show VENT! and, perhaps more important, the headlining comic’s good friend. His jokes were a little hit-and-miss, but if this was, in fact, a family reunion, Nicks would be the sort of guy you chatted with while standing in line at the buffet table. You’d come away from your interaction thinking, “Huh, he’s funny.”

Finally, Rosenblum came on, and we were all excited to see him. He felt like the golden boy we’d all been talking about who’d arrived fashionably late to the reunion. Rosenblum opened his set with the disclaimer that his humor might be unexpectedly off-color for those who knew him growing up. “I know a lot of you are thinking, ‘Oh, I know Max. He’s a sweet boy. This should be a sweet show,’” he began before reminding us that the title of his show was basically a Jewish slur. Perhaps such a disclaimer was necessary for those who knew Rosenblum at age 10. As an outsider, it felt a little excessive for an act that reached its bluest when Rosenblum told us about that one time he didn’t go down on his girlfriend.

Though he covered topics ranging from weird ex-girlfriends to uptight dog owners, misguided catcalls and returning a lost cellphone to a sex worker, two themes quickly pulled ahead as the standouts in the show: the jokes about his Jewish heritage and the times his family chimed in. Rosenblum was clearly on a roll as he likened Christmas to the Super Bowl—a day when you get your entire family together to drink and “see who says the N-word first”—and then explained that Jews liked the holiday because “while you’re inside opening presents, we’re out opening offshore bank accounts.” But that moment was arguably eclipsed when he announced that he’d always wanted to meet Aaron Rodgers and an audience member affirmed, “Yeah, you did!” To which Rosenblum could only respond, “Thanks, Dad.” The show was solid, but I left wishing I’d been invited to the Rosenblum’s afterparty.

Rosenblum opened his set with the disclaimer that his humor might be unexpectedly off-color for those who knew him growing up.

—Hillary Knouse

03.30.17 | SN&R | 19

STARRING

Deborah Cox is not scheduled to perform at the Thursday matinee and Saturday matinee performances.

APRIL 18-23 · ON SALE NOW! Sponsored by:

WELLS FARGO

20 | SN&R | 03.30.17

COMMUNITY CENTER THEATER · (916) 557-1999 Groups of 12+ (916) 557-1198 · BroadwaySacramento.com

For the week oF MArCh 30

W

ith the Oscars handed out and awards season films leaving the theaters, it might seem like a dull time for movies in Sacramento. Wrong. This week, there is a slew of film festivals and special screenings that should convince you to abandon Netflix—at least for one night.

The fifth annual Sacramento Food Film Festival starts Saturday, April 1, with four screenings spread out over a week. What makes these events special is the pairing of chefs with food-themed films—plus the fact that it’s a central fundraiser for the Food Literacy Center. There’s one free screening, though: Sustainable, a documentary highlighting the economic and environmental issues facing the country’s food system. The event starts at 5 p.m. on Tuesday, April 4, at the Central Library Galleria (828 I Street), and it includes appetizers, dessert and a panel discussion. Find the full festival schedule at www.foodliteracycenter.org.

On Thursday, March 30, the International Fly Fishing Film Festival makes a stop at the Tower Theatre (2508 Land Park Drive).

At 7 p.m., a series of short films begins, following fly-fishing adventures in picturesque locations such as Iceland, New Zealand and Bolivia. Get $20 tickets at www.flyfilmfest.com.

Of course, sometimes you just want to watch an old favorite on a big screen.

At 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 31, catch the Big Lebowski at the Crest Theatre (1013 K Street)—and summon your inner Dude for a costume contest. Nab $10 tickets at www.crestsacramento.com.

If you’re craving something slightly more highbrow but still loads of fun, the Crocker Art Museum’s (216 O Street) Art on Film series returns at 6 p.m. Thursday, April 6. Local film expert Jacob Greenberg will present the 1985 dystopian cult classic Brazil, followed by a discussion sparked by questions from the audience. Find tickets—$10 for members and $15 for nonmembers—at www.crockerart.org.

—JAnELLE BiTkER IllustratIon by sarah hansel

Proxima

ALS symposium

THURSDAY, MARCH 30

SATURDAY, APRiL 1

Cirque Du Soleil fans will embrace this Japanese performance act that includes tricks of light and dancers who use the medium to great effect.

Already a household name after a YouTube video caught CULtUre the attention of millions without much ado, enra’s Proxima is a must-see for those who revel in manipulative movement and shapeshifting. $12-$49; 7:30 p.m. at Harris Center, 10 College Parkway in Folsom; http://enra.jp.

Remember a couple of years ago when everyone was dumping buckets of ice cold water over their heads?

The whole point of those videos was to raise money for ALS research. The disorder affects the nerves and muscles of the people who get it, and it’s horrifying. The upcoming symposium is an opportunity for folks to listen to presentations and ask CoMMUNItY all their ALS-related questions to experts. Free; 1 p.m. at Sacramento Convention Center, 1400 J Street; http://websac.alsa.org.

—EDDiE JoRgEnSEn

—AARon CARnES

Protest sign-making workshop SATURDAY, APRiL 1 Some protest signs are so clever, cool or poignant that photos of them rightfully go viral. Learn how to craft an epic one and get outACtIVISM fitted for local protests on April 15 and 22. Preregistration is required, and you’ll receive all the paint, pens and other materials you need to make sure your resistance is heard. $20; 1 p.m. at Oak Park Healing Arts Center, 3101 33rd Street; www .facebook.com/OakParkHealingArts.

—JAnELLE BiTkER

AMSoIL Arenacross

Credit Union Sactown run

SATURDAY, APRiL 1 The popular adrenaline-filled motorcycle event is heading back to Sacramento for its 2017 season.

Riders navigate around mud pits, jump over ramps and keep their bikes upright through a 15-lap “dirt battleground.” The two-day stop in Sacramento is one of the playoff events, where only those who qualified for the top 10 in CULtUre Arenacross Class standings will compete. $10-$50; 7 p.m at Golden 1 Center, 500 David J Stern Walk; www.arenacross.com.

—LoRY giL

SUnDAY, APRiL 2 The weather is warm and the birds are singing. Time to work off that winter weight, and what better way to do that than the seventh annual SacTown 10-mile, 5K and Miracle Mile races? This flat and fast course rUN starts and finishes downtown at the Capitol, weaving through the grid and passing over the city’s iconic Tower Bridge. $10-$75; 8 a.m. at Eighth Street and Capitol Mall; https://runsra.org/sactown-run.

—DAvE kEMPA

03.30.17 | SN&R | 21

S u n day S u p p e r Sunday 4pm - 8pm

Fa M I Ly S T y L e d I n n e r $18 for adults, $12 for Kids Happy Hour Beer & Wine specials going all night!

www.WoodlakeTavern.com 1431 Del Paso BlvD • sac, ca • 916.514.0405

Come for the Pizza

STAY FOR THE BEER

OVER 36

Cra Beer

Not Fast Food...

TAPS

wood fired pizza

fresh food

ON

BREWS

chicken & waffles tenders // wings

FROM SCRATCH

Family Friendly • Billiards • Darts • Games Sun-Thurs 11a-11p • Fri-Sat 11a-1a 916-399-4217 • 8760 La Riviera Dr. A • www.CapsPizza.com

www.kikischicken.com

5110 auburn blvd & 2377 northgate blvd

skill &

dedication you can taste

• Hand Tossed Artisan Pizzas • Self Pour Craft Beer & Wine • Big Screen/Sports 6601 Folsom Blvd.

916.330.3973 • www.ZPIZZA.com 22 | SN&R | 03.30.17

delicious, down to earth american dining

happy hour! mon - fri

2-6/9-cloSe • cocktailS • draft beer • appS 3698 n. freeway Blvd. • Sacramento, ca • 916-419-8100 9105 w stockton Blvd. • elk Grove, ca • 916-684-8978

916.476.5384 866 57th street sac, ca 95819

IllustratIons by saraH Hansel

Wheat for softies Honey wHeat breaD, tHe breaD store When I can find it, I love a crusty sourdough loaf. It’s not always the best for sandwiches, though. Gouging the roof of your mouth on a hard crust makes lunch not so fun. So, sometimes a softer loaf works better, and I particularly like The Bread Store’s honey wheat bread ($5.95). They bake it every day and slice it to order. You can request it on many of their sandwiches, but I usually take it home and layer it with ripe avocado and salt, or sharp cheddar and chutney. 1716 J Street, http://thebreadstoresacramento.com.

—ann Martin rolke

Tricky tequila Carter beats tHe Devil, la venaDita

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

Fork this

by John Flynn Spring to the market: When “America’s Farm-to-Fork Capital” replaced “City of Trees” on Sacramento’s most visible water tower on March 9, critics derided the move as an unrepresentative gimmick—perhaps because the city’s arboreal scene is much more visible.

But with the direction decided, the Midtown Farmers Market strives to be an exemplary jewel in the reinvention.

“Our goal isn’t to have 14 beet vendors,” said Emily Baime Michaels, executive director of the Midtown Association. “Our goal is to have an affordable and beautiful beet vendor that has three kinds of beets.”

Since starting in a parking lot in 2013, the market has stretched its legs across two-and-a-half blocks (J-L streets on 20th Street), boasting 90 vendors now that spring has sprung.

Contrary to the utilitarian under-thefreeway market on Sundays, this Saturday market strives for a more boutique (if a bit bourgie) experience.

Under the sycamore canopy, it offers artisanal crafts and upscale prepared foods like sauerkraut and smoked fish, as well as fresh fruits and vegetables from top-notch farmers.

On April 1, Rick Mahan, chef and owner of The Waterboy (2000 Capitol Avenue), will give a cooking demonstration. And on April 15, there will be a fruitcentric Easter egg hunt for children that Michaels calls “really cute.” She hopes the market encourages more people to spend their Saturday afternoons browsing around Midtown.

“Stroll through the market, get your doughnut, get your produce, buy some crafts and then sit down at LowBrau for a mimosa and a big ol’

scramble,” she said. “What’s more ideal than that?”

In the future, the market might be eyeing an expansion all the way down L Street, as well as into some parking lots and alleys, perhaps someday featuring up to 150 vendors.

“It was more efficient for us to expand the market than to tell all [the applying vendors], ‘No,’” Michaels said about the move from the lot to the street. “And we’re getting in that position again.”

Sunday special: Hawks Public

House (1525 Alhambra Boulevard) recently hired Dane Blom, formerly of Grange, and by way of introduction they’ll be hosting a casual Sunday Dinner for Two series from now on. For a relatively affordable $45, Chef Blom whips up a Caesar salad, garlic bread and one of two pasta choices to share. For some chemically induced fun, add a bottle of wine for $25. On March 26, he started with baked rigatoni or truffled pecorino with garlic and fennel sausage, then finished with sweet cream gelato. Ω

La Venadita’s Carter Beats the Devil cocktail ($10) is named after Glen David Gold’s mystery novel about a 1920s magician, but the only illusion that this drink performs is how it tricks one into a sense of complacency. It’s made with tequila reposado, mezcal, lime and agave.

The chicanery, however, is revealed via its healthy dash of scorching chile tincture. On first sip, the cocktail goes down icy and refreshing. Give it a moment, though, and wait for the burn to land at the back of your throat with a fierce gusto—and then never let up.

Magical. 3501 Third Avenue; www.lavenaditasac.com.

—raCHel leibroCk

Dandy snack DanDelion greens Thanks to the record rains, there’s a bumper crop of rains, there’s a bumper crop of dandelion greens in our markets and lawns. If you’re markets and lawns. If you’re bent on digging them up, save the up, save the leaves to eat. The slightly bitslightly bitter greens add nuance to to salads and sandwiches.

Like all greens, they’re full full of vitamins, but especially especially good for liver health and and digestion. Smaller leaves leaves taste sweeter, while larger ones are better briefly sautéed or stir-fried. Feel like a brown thumb when it comes to gardening? Blow the seeds of a cottony dandelion head over your garden and prepare for success.

—ann Martin rolke

03.30.17 | SN&R | 23

seven deadly scoops SCOOPS • SUNDAES • FLOATS

RATED HANDC LL IN SMA ES BATCH

LOCAL LY SOURC E INGRED D IENTS

Pockets of cheese

322 3RD ST., W. SAC • WWW.DEVILMAYCAREICECREAM.COM • 916-572-0456

by Rebecca Huval

el Izote

Those on the menu at El Izote offer several hearty meatless and carnivorous selections.

Inside the squash and cheese pupusa, the diced vegetables melded together with the queso blanco 5650 Power Inn Road, Suite 800; in watery bursts. The stringy cheese came out (916) 381-3774 piping hot and flavorful, surrounded by a sweet tortilla with grilled, golden speckles that concenwww.facebook.com/elizote trated the taste of the crumbly maize.

Meal for one: $5- $13 To break up the thickness of tortilla-on-cheese, Good for: Family-friendly comfort food spread on the fresh-tasting and lightly sour curtido, Notable dishes: Squash, loroco and revuelta pupusas a kimchi-like blend of lettuce and carrots that have been fermented in vinegar. Each pupusa order will come with the side—a mound of veggies to soften the guilt of this comfort food.

You can also sample a lesser known plant What could be more comforting than melted called loroco, small edible flowers common cheese on carbs? When it’s made by family. At El throughout Central America. Folded into the Izote, most of the staff is related. pupusa, the green flecks resembled a mix between On a recent visit, chef Silvia Pineda, squash and cactus, with a hint of tea leaf flavor. originally from El Salvador by way of the Bay The earthy plant broke up the soothing blandness Area, slapped a ball of masa de maiz between of the creamy cheese. her hands beside the grill. She accommodated For carnivores, the revuelta combined pork, beans last-second changes to orders with good humor. and cheese into a gooey emulsion of delicious grease Next to her, a smiling face appeared in the form and umami flavor. The pupusa billowed to accomof the chef’s great-nephew, Douglas Pleitez, who modate all the ingredients, and the beans and served water from a plastic jug when the pork mixed to enhance the flavors of out-of-order soda dispenser didn’t each—bean-y meat and meaty beans. even drip that most basic of beverThe chicken and cheese fused tender ages. Young relatives of the staff threads of meat into the melted wandered around, dragging toys.

The diced vegetables disc of queso.

To work with family is “good Off the pupusa menu, the and bad at the same time, but melded together with carne asada regular burrito mostly good,” Pleitez said. the queso blanco in ($5.99) came with the holy trinity “It’s your family; you want to watery bursts. of rice, beans and cheese. The impress them all the time.” beef itself was beautiful to look at, The restaurant clearly puts which might sound strange, but it’s heart into its cooking as it adds true—the meat appeared and tasted to the handful of pupusa joints in expertly grilled. The rice was savory Sacramento. Somewhat nearby, Las with broth and trapped a web of melted Palmas Carniceria Pupuseria y Taqueria cheese throughout, and the tortilla itself was toasted in Florin features thicker tortillas than El Izote. just to the point of slight crispiness, a welcome In contrast, the restaurant in Avondale serves up deviation from the norm. compacted tortillas, which show off the richer, On the underwhelming side, the garlick-y juicier ingredients that they envelop. shrimp taco combo ($11.99) was served with Though many of the meals are thoughtfully lukewarm shrimp that was tomato-y and mildly prepared, the pupusas ($2.99 for one, $8.25 for spicy. They came with thicker tortillas that seemed three) are the main draw. They resemble arepas, like an averaging between pupusas and the thinner but are made of thick, nixtamalized corn—a standard, making the overall formation taste drier process that amps up the flavor and nutritiousthan most tacos. ness by soaking and cooking the maize in an That said, El Izote excels at its specialty. alkaline solution, then hulling it. Originally Weave around the cute kids and steer toward the a vegetarian half-circle in pre-Columbian El pockets of cheesy comfort. Ω Salvador, pupusas became meatier over time.

HHH

THE

Thai Food & gluten free options

ON T

1110 T Street

www.TheCoconutThai.com 916.822.4665

Happy Hour 4:30-6pm: $3 Appetizers, House Wine Draft Beers

VOTED #1 BEST THAI FOOD 10 BEERS ON TAP @ COCONUT ON T!

Ye l p . c o m / b i z / t h e - c o c o n u t - o n - t - s a c r a m e n t o 24 | SN&R | 03.30.17

r e b e c c a h @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m

KEEPING BEER BASIC

The bloody best This weekend, sip your bloody mary with a side of celebrity. In the first of what aims to be an annual tradition, the Best Bloody in the Burbs will put roughly a dozen local bartenders head-to-head to see who can whip up the most savory vodka concoction. Starting at 3 p.m. on April 2 at the Purple Place Bar (363 Green Valley Road in El Dorado Hills), spectators can pay $10 for the full flight of spicy-and-tomato-y samples.

The drinks will be assessed by “celebrity judges,” including local bondsman Josh Verozza of viral fame, who plastered the interwebz with saucy photos showing himself wrapped in an American flag and doused with a bucket of water. (These images are an artform of their own called “dudeoir”—dude + boudoir, get it?) First place wins a weekend for two to San Francisco’s Clift hotel with tickets to a Giants game. It’s almost enough incentive to take the plunge on mixology classes for next year. Learn more at https://thepurp.com/archives/portfolio-item/bloody-mary-contest.

AWARD WINNER

GREG’S EXCELLENT RED ALE!

TRADITIONAL INGREDIENTS FOR LIVE MUSIC & EVENTS /ELDORADOBREWINGCO

6051 ENTERPRISE DR. #102, DIAMOND SPRINGS, CA • WWW.ELDOBREW.COM • 530-558-4188

Creativity passion IS O U R

—Rebecca Huval

For every $1 spent you get 1 point. Earn points towards free coffee/tea, crepes & more!

by SHoka As a juice company in the 21st century, Pure Life Juice Co. offers coldpressed juice cleanses, of course, but it also has all the food and beverage trends of the past few years—coldbrewed coffee, acai bowls, almond “mylk” and coconut everything. Not that that’s a bad thing, because Pure Life uses organic produce and everything is vegan. Even the granola in the hearty acai and pittaya bowls.

The Technicolor magenta liquified pittaya—also known as dragon fruit—is artfully topped with banana

slices and sprinkled with coconut shavings, making it gently sweet and tart. And banana fans are in luck, because banaynays are in all the bowls and smoothies, including the intriguing Popeye Pistachio, which includes housemade vanilla almond mylk, pistachio butter, spinach, hemp protein powder and dates. So put on your yoga pants and try it or the cacao-and-coconut-butter hot chocolate at its two Folsom locations: 604 Sutter Street and 350 Palladio Parkway.

ON BREWS

Pure Life, on trend, all vegan

Birthday • Wedding • Custom Cakes • Tarts • Buns • Crepes & More 6825 Stockton Blvd #265-270 • Sac, CA • Phone: (916) 662-7733

2 SliceS of Pizza + Small Salad & drink 11:30am–1:00pm

1439 del PaSo blvd • Sacramento, ca 916.514.0181 • www .uPtownPizzakitchen. com 03.30.17 | SN&R | 25

City finalizes permit fees for commercial growers Economic activity could revitalize commercial zones

by Ken Magri

W

ith a few final motions passed at its March 7 meeting, the Sacramento City Council has cleared the way for the city to begin accepting applications for commercial cannabis cultivation permits April 3.

During the meeting, the council established first-year cultivation permit fees starting at $9,700 for under 5,000 square feet of cultivation and going up to $28,820 for up to 22,000 square feet of cultivation. The council also passed a motion requiring plants be grown at least 600 feet away from a school, inside fully enclosed structures not visible to the public.

Cultivation permits alone could bring in $2.2 million annually, city officials have previously said.

Growers will also be subject to the city’s 4 percent business tax and sales tax.

“This is great news for Sacramento,” says Anthony Biagi of 420abundance.com, a cannabis services company. “I have multiple clients who are growing and submitting jurisdictional applications.”

The council’s actions parallel newly enacted state regulations that will require dispensaries to buy from local growers.

“In order to get [state] licensing next year, our farmers will need a local permit,” said Kimberly Cargile, director of A Therapeutic Alternative, who explained that Sacramento dispensaries cannot work with unlicensed growers beginning next year.

“This is great news for Sacramento.”

Anthony Biagi, 420abundance.com

Permit fees for growers along with fees for other marijuana-related enterprises (such as dispensaries, delivery services and manufacturers) will help pay for the estimated $6.3 million start-up cost associated with implementing and enforcing the city’s marijuana policy.

Beyond raising funds for the city, marijuana businesses are expected to contribute to the economic vitality of the business districts they are a part of.

Along the outskirts of Sacramento’s city limits are commercial and industrial-zones, peppered with tan and gray warehouses from various decades, designed for the exact kinds of businesses cannabis growers would bring. Using discreet signage, medical cannabis dispensaries and grow shops are already seamlessly blending in. Support businesses like sandwich shops then begin to appear, serving the new tenants and their customers.

Sacramento city will begin accepting commercial cannabis cultivation permit applications starting in April. Stock photo

COLLECTIVES CARING FOR THE COMMUNITY.

While opponents have argued in the past that cannabis growers would blight neighborhoods with “dedicated corridors” of concentrated marijuana commerce, commercial cannabis growers say they would help revitalize these zones that need it most.

For more info:

Two hundred potential growers are registered in hopes of obtaining a commercial cultivation permit, with several hundred more interested.

www.Collective-Giving.com

“We really need the City Council and county Board of Supervisors to make a pathway that will provide growers with a local permit,” said Cargile, who is optimistic that the county will soon follow.

Sponsored by:

PA I D A DV E RT I SE M E N T 100% ORGANIC

CC101

TETRA HEALTH CENTERS

26 | SN&R | 03.30.17

420MD

THC

FIND OF THE WEEK

Do you like to laugh?

Personal politics

Improv marathon

ana CastIllo readIng & book sIgnIng For some, what is personal is also political. Renowned author Ana Castillo is a visionary, a risk taker, a feminist and an advocate for amplifying the voices within Chicana (Xicanx) and Latina (Latinx) ReaDing communities. Her work was once included on a banned book list in the Tucson school district, which she took as an unabashed badge of honor.

Castillo will be signing books and sharing her stories about where the personal and the political intersect at Sol Collective. $5; 6 p.m. on Saturday, April 1, at Sol Collective, 2574 21st Street; www.anacastillo.com.

—amy bee

Song of his self alan CummIng sIngs sappy songs Alan Cumming is known and loved for his audacious characters. But when he took part in the American Songbook Series in 2009, he discovered he enjoyed performing as himself. Thus, Alan Cumming Sings Sappy Songs was born. Filled with bawdy TheaTRe jokes, intimate personal stories and clever pop mashups, this mischievous cabaret will fill hearts with humor and tenderness alike. $17.50-$75; 8 p.m. on Friday, March 31, at Mondavi Center, 1 Shields Avenue in Davis; www.alancumming.com.

—amy bee

As amazing as the 48-Hour Comedy marathon was, it could also be an endurance test for audiences. The literal wall-to-wall-48-hours-ofcomedy-fest started in 2013. For the performers, it provided an opportunity to try out some of their weirder ideas like Strip-prov: strip poker meets improv.

ComeDy The Comedy Spot has since retired its 48-Hour Comedy Marathon in favor of the Improv Marathon, a three-day, improvexclusive festival. We’re talking 12 hours of improv. That’s a lot of comedy!

In its debut last year, the event highlighted the Comedy Spot’s best improv troupes, such as Anti-Cooperation League, YOU! The Musical and Lady Business.

This year, the Improv Marathon returns with a few changes. The Comedy Spot will be making room for the weirder side of comedy while still keeping it improv-focused and making sure it’s within hours that decent people are still awake.

Expect a showcase of the club’s most popular series in those prime slots. But the closer you get to midnight, the stranger things are likely to get. Strip-prov will return. Also, be sure to check out High-prov if you’ve ever wondered whether stoned comedians are better or worse at improv than their sober counterparts. A variety of passes, from one-day to three-day, get you into the event, which goes from March 31 to April 2. For more info, go to www.saccomedyspot.com/ marathon.

—aaron Carnes

03.30.17 | SN&R | 27

AUGGIE SMITH COMEDIAN

SATURDAY, APRIL 1

TWO SHOWS — 8PM & 10PM

$10 TICKETS

AT DOOR OR ONLINE

HARDROCKCASINOLAKETAHOE.COM MUST BE 21+

50 HIGHWAY 50 STATELINE, NV 89449

28 | SN&R | 03.30.17 JOB #: HRT-10039 AD TITLE: AUGGIE SMITH

844.588.7625 #ROCKTAHOE

Now playiNg

ReviewS

5

Going West

Fragile tragedies PhOTO cOURTESy OF SAcRAMENTO ThEATRE cOMPANy

by Patti RobeRts

and flouncing perfectly capture her character’s emotional roller-coaster from delicate Southern belle to distraught and desperate mother. And Katherine Stroller gives a heart-rending Laura, conveying the struggling sister’s awkwardness with sweet and painful stammering and facial expressions, while cradling her small glass figurines that become symbols of her fragile existence. And Eric Craig as the gentleman caller allows the audience to believe, for a brief moment at least, that salvation has come to this strange, struggling family.

STC also presents some creative production choices that work really well some of the time while being a distraction other times—such as synchronized set changes and providing some props while miming others. Ω

Those who grew up (or raised kids) locally have likely visited the California Railroad History Museum in Old Sacramento.

This production is basically a 90-minute live-action version of this elementary school ritual, staged with professional actors in a snappy neovaudeville style.

There are catchy tunes by composer Noah Agruss, incorporating accelerating engine rhythms, hammerslamming work songs and fanfare-like, brassy orchestrations. Sa, Su 1pm and 4pm. Through 4/2. $18$23. B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www .bstreettheatre.org. J.H.

5

God of Carnage

In this Yasmina Reza play, two couples meet for a civilized discussion about their young sons. The boys have had a playground scuffle that cost one a couple of teeth.

1 FOUL

Cesar and Ruben

Glassaholics anoonymous, population: 2

The Glass Menagerie

3

6:30 p.m. Thursday, 8 p.m. Friday, 2 p.m. and 8 p.m. Saturday, 2 p.m.

Sunday, 6:30 p.m. Wednesday; $15-$38. Sacramento Theatre company, 1419 h Street; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. Through April 30.

The beauty of Tennessee Williams’ loosely autobiographical 1944 classic The Glass Menagerie lies both in the playwright’s powerful, poetic prose and in Williams’ understated portrayal of his relationship with his histrionic mother and mentally and emotionally delicate sister. The character Tom is Williams’ stand-in, narrating the play as well as portraying the frustrated-but-patient loving son and brother—and it’s Williams’ use of subtlety and delicacy in his narration and dialogue that makes this quiet tragedy so exquisitely powerful.

Sacramento Theatre Company’s current production of The Glass Menagerie makes a curious diversion in the typical portrayal of a more reticent Tom, with actor David Crane presenting an angry, explosively charged character who rants and rages throughout. Unfortunately, while Crane gives it his all, this portrayal undermines what makes The Glass Menagerie such a heart-tugging journey into Williams’ familial memory play. However, there are wonderful moments in this production. Most notable is actress Janis Stevens, who was born to play the part of the highly theatrical and emotional Amanda Wingfield—her dramatic flourishes

This Friday would have been the 90th birthday of Cesar Chavez, a man some call an American Gandhi, a pacifist who fought with only his heart and his mind. Along with Dolores Huerta, he co-founded the National Farm Workers Association (later the United Farm Workers of America) in 1962 and improved the lives of millions of laborers through marches and boycotts.

In two performances this weekend, Sacramento’s Teatro Nagual, a Latino theater arts company, will celebrate the life of Chavez in Cesar and Ruben, a musical written by Hollywood actor and activist Ed Begley Jr. and directed by Richard Falcon. It stars Juan Ramos as Chavez and Elio Gutierrez as Ruben Salazar, a Los Angeles Times reporter who was the first Mexican-American to cover the Chicano community in the mainstream media. The show’s songs are from a variety of sources, including Sting (translated into Spanish), Enrique Iglesias, Ruben Blades and Santana. Teatro Nagual is dedicated to producing programs that educate the community at large about the effectiveness of nonviolent change, community activism and unity through artistic endeavors. Cesar and Ruben is its latest endeavor. Friday’s Chavez birthday celebration will be attended by UFW President Arturo Rodriguez; Paul Chavez, Cesar’s son and president of the Cesar Chavez Foundation; along with other members of the Chavez family.

—Jim caRnes

The parents meet to work out their differences and, pleased with how reasonably they are all behaving, one asks “How many parents, when standing up for their children, become infantile themselves?”

Audience members soon find out the answer to that question. The script is funny and the performances spellbinding. F, Sa 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 4/1. $15-$20.

Wilkerson Theatre, 1723 25th Street; (916) 491-0940; www .resurrectiontheatre .com. B.S.

4

Guards at the Taj

Two guards find their worlds shaken at the opening of the Taj Mahal in 1648 and the unthinkable tasks they are asked to perform, which will change them forever. Th 7pm, F 8pm;

Sa 2pm and 8pm; Su 2pm, W 7pm. Through 4/16. $28-$38.

5

Concussed: Four Days in the Dark

Jack Gallagher is, first and foremost, a storyteller who can tell a sad story or a funny one and keep audiences enthralled.

It’s no surprise then that his new one-man show is funny and touching—and always entertaining. The premise derives from a concussion the comedian suffered after riding his bike when he collided with a car and hit his head. Out of this experience came a stream of reflections on life, love, growing older and parenting. Th, F 8pm;

Sa 5pm and 9pm; Su 2pm; Tu 2pm; W 6:30pm. Through 4/16.

B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www .bstreettheatre.org. B.S.

Short reviews by Jeff hudson and Bev Sykes.

Capital Stage, 2215 J Street; (916) 995-5464; http://cap stage.org. B.S.

2

3

4

FAIR

GOOD

WELL-DONE

5 SUBLIME– DON’T MISS

Wrong children’s book, Waldo!

PhOTO cOURTESy OF SAcRAMENTO STATE/cRAIG KOSchO

Peachy scene As young readers, many of us learned to love macabre tales by exploring the works of Roald Dahl. In his fantasy worlds, children were often whisked away from dark realities by magic—like a flying piece of fruit. Watch as Sacramento State University Theatre transforms into the enchanted setting of James and the Giant Peach. Master puppeteer Richard Bay directs Richard R. George’s adaptation of the children’s book. 8 p.m. April 5-8 and April 14-15; 6:30 p.m. April 12-13; and 2 p.m. April 9 and 16; $5-$8.

Sacramento State University Theatre in Shasta Hall, 6000 J Street; (916) 278-4323; www.csus.edu/al/festival.

—Rebecca Huval cesar and Ruben; 7 p.m. Friday, 8 p.m. Saturday; $12-$15. Teatro Nagual at Grant Union high School Auditorium, 1400 Grand Avenue; (916) 549-3341; www.teatronagual.com.

03.30.17 | SN&R | 29

Highbrow lowbrow

life The challenges of spotting space bacteria without a microscope.

3

Daniel Espinosa’s slick, dunderheaded, space-bacteriago-berserk outer-space actioner Life arrives in theaters just in time to continue one of the new cinematic rites of spring. It has become an annual spring ritual for Hollywood studios to release a dopey sci-fi movie disguised with a pseudorespectable, art-installationworthy title, one meant to distract from the deeply stupid, pathologically unscientific, occasionally entertaining schlock simmering underneath.

Oblivion, Transcendence, Jupiter Ascending, the Divergent turd-ilogy, and John Carter even lost his of Mars in a vain attempt at respectability. And now Life, a film that, as previously noted, could be more accurately and less pretentiously titled Space Bacteria Go Berserk.

But that title wouldn’t be worthy of the long narrative overture, the name-brand international cast or of Jon Ekstrand’s score, which is bwaaamp-ingly insistent of the film’s significance.

Of course, an eye-rolling title and an afterthought release date aren’t the only things familiar about Life—the entire film feels cobbled together from the loose ends of better films.

Life is a sci-fi slasher movie in the vein of Alien and its infinite knockoffs, but with touches of Kubrick-ian pondering, Soderbergh-ian sleek solemnity and the aforementioned Nolan-esque bwaaamp-portance (as well as unfortunate strain of Shyamalan twistmongering).

Set entirely aboard an international space station orbiting around the earth, Life opens with an extended pre-title sequence in which the astronaut crew discovers a new life form floating through the void. (Spoiler alert: homicidal space bacteria.) They bring the life

by Daniel Barnes

form, nicknamed Calvin, on board for study, but the seemingly harmless substance quickly reveals a fierce survival instinct, as well as a lethal intelligence. The surprisingly persistent and diabolical Calvin grows at a rapid pace, eventually escaping the laboratory and threatening the entire crew, and possibly the entire world.

Although ostensibly an ensemble piece, the above-the-line cast includes Rebecca Ferguson, exuding all of the steely competence but little of the movie star spark that she displayed in Mission: Impossible—Rogue Nation; Jake Gyllenhaal, clenched and withdrawn as though all too aware he’s too good for this shit; and Ryan Reynolds, still snark-quipping lowest common denominator pop culture references à la Deadpool. The six-member crew is filled out with Ariyon Bakare, Olga Dihovichnaya and Hiroyuki Sanada, but they essentially serve as space bacteria bait.

For all of its chin-stroking pretension, Life is almost endearingly dim-witted, frequently pausing for monosyllabic ruminations on life itself, even as it turns CGI space bacteria into a traditional horror movie antagonist. Considering the Z-movie premise, the film looks shockingly good (Nocturnal Animals cinematographer Seamus McGarvey deserves considerable credit), and ultimately I was more entertained by the low-rent crud that Life is than by the pedantic Interstellar hogwash that it wishes it was. Ω

Life is almost endearingly dim-witted.

30 | SN&R | 03.30.17

1 2 3 4 5 Poor

Fair

Good

Very Good

excellent

fiLm CLiPS

2

Beauty and the Beast

Remakes present a challenge for critics, especially remakes of widely seen films, since the obvious urge is to make insipid apples-to-apples comparisons between the two, rather than judge each movie on its own merits. Bill Condon’s ghastly live-action remake Beauty and the Beast, on the other hand, practically pleads for comparisons to the 1991 Disney animated feature. Rather than reimagining or recontextualizing a Disney chestnut, this new Beauty and the Beast is essentially a scene-for-scene, note-for-note recreation of the cartoon, Howard Ashman and Alan Menken songs and everything. It’s a highgloss recycle job, designed to do nothing more than massage your nostalgia sensors for two interminable hours. The problem for Condon and company is that every single scene in their remake pales in comparison to the animated feature—in every place that Gary Trousdale and Kirk Wise’s enchanting animated feature is nimble and magical, this remake is bloated and clumsy. D.B.

1

The Belko Experiment

The employees of an American corporation in Colombia find themselves locked in their high-rise building, where an unseen voice orders them to start killing each other; if they don’t, the voice will start killing them itself by means of explosive tracking devices in their brains. Jeez, who comes up with this crap?

Well, in this case, it was James Gunn (writer) and Greg McLean (director), and whatever else you may say, they certainly jump into their assignment with alarming enthusiasm. This soulless bloodbath isn’t badly made for what it is—but as always with trash like this (Saw, The Purge), what it is is the problem. The cast is mainly hungry unknowns (John Gallagher Jr., Adria Arjona, etc.), with a couple of “names” thrown in (Tony Goldwyn, John C. McGinley) who apparently needed a quick paycheck. J.L.

3

BY DANIEL BARNES & JIM LANE

The Boss Baby

A family’s new baby (voiced by Alec Baldwin) is a Type A executive who shows his true nature only to his 7-year-old brother (Miles Christopher Bakshi); not only that, but he’s on a secret mission from Baby Corp. to foil a plot by archrival Puppy Co. Directed by Tom McGrath and adapted by Michael McCullers from Marla Frazee’s book, the movie is clever and diverting—but also a missed opportunity. It cries out to be a musical; it bristles with obvious cues for plot and character songs and production numbers, but even when the story expressly demands a song, McGrath & Co. have to go all the way back to the Beatles to come up with one. Walt Disney or Howard Ashman would have known what to do with this material, but that kind of talent is in short supply among today’s animators. Still, there’s fun to be had. J.L.

1

CHIPS

A rookie California Highway Patrol officer (writer-director Dax Shepard) is teamed with a supposed veteran (Michael Peña)—but his new partner is really an undercover FBI agent seeking to ferret out corruption in the CHP. The hit 1970s-’80s TV series hasn’t aged well; its popularity feels like a long-ago thing. Shepard seems set on giving it the Brady Bunch or 21 Jump Street spoof treatment, but he doesn’t have the wit to pull it off. It’s just another buddy-cop comedy, the crudest and sloppiest yet; think Ride Along, only less subtle and realistic. And much less funny. Shepard’s script is missing several key scenes that he refers to but never got around to writing, and he doesn’t know how to put a movie—or even individual scenes—together.

He seldom knows where to put the camera or what to focus on. J.L.

Why is every roboot gritty? Can’t we have a nice, soft one now and then?

3

Power Rangers

In this reboot of yet another toy franchise, five high-school students (Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, Becky G.) are recruited by the disembodied Zordon (Bryan Cranston) to carry on the eonsold struggle against the evil Rita Repulsa (Elizabeth Banks). Misfit teenagers become superheroes and save the universe; The Breakfast Club meets The Avengers. This movie certainly knows its target audience, and, actually, it’s not bad; the cast is attractive, director Dean Israelite keeps things popping, and Cranston and Banks (both barely recognizable behind their CGI disguises) add a dash of grown-up gravitas. It’s cheesy but endearing; there are worse things for teenagers to spend their allowance on. J.L.

4

Get Out

It was only a matter of time before the Black Lives Matter movement got its own horror movie. Several documentaries last year tied Black Lives Matter into a larger examination of the American civil rights movement, but no genre provides anxietyexorcising catharsis quite like horror. By their very outlaw nature, horror films can go places other films would never dare—that’s why it’s a shame that most of them never go anywhere at all. Writer-director Jordan Peele’s Get Out, though, is a smart and stylish sociological horror movie with a healthy helping of What We Do in the Shadows-level belly laughs. Daniel Kaluuya stars as Chris, a young black man going to meet his white girlfriend’s family for the first time and realizing right away that something is dangerously amiss. Making his directorial debut, Peele manages to continually pique our interest, even when we know where the story is heading. D.B.

4

Kong: Skull Island

In 1973, as the Vietnam War winds down, a party of soldiers and scientists goes off to explore an uncharted Pacific island—but the military leader (Samuel L. Jackson) doesn’t know that the civilian leader (John Goodman) is hunting for monsters, including the legendary ape Kong. Put King Kong out of your mind; this is neither sequel nor remake, but a whole new approach to the premise, with passing nods to Heart of Darkness, Jurassic Park, Moby Dick, and a host of other classic and pop culture touchstones. And somehow it all works; there’s the right blend of excitement and humor in the script (by Dan Gilroy, Max Borenstein, Derek Connolly and John Gatins) and Jordan VogtRoberts’ lickety-split direction keeps us on the edge of our seats. Tom Hiddleston and Brie Larson make appealing romantic leads. J.L.

1

Logan

Former X-Man Logan, the Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), and the near-senile professor Xavier (Patrick Stewart)—living in squalor in Mexico, hiding from dark forces (led

by Richard E. Grant) seeking to bend the race of mutants to their evil will—are forced to help a fugitive mutant child (Dafne Keen) flee to safety. The gloomiest and grisliest of the

X-Men franchise is expertly crafted in detail but overlong, dreary and dispiriting as a whole.

Rated a hard R for its Grand Guignol violence, in which every decent person meets a bloody and horrible end, the movie has an ugly edge: Keen looks about ten years old, and putting her through these paces amounts to a distasteful kind of kiddie porn. Written and directed by James Mangold as if he’s bored to death with the series—a feeling it’s easy to share. J.L.

4

Table 19

3

Wilson

A former maid of honor (Anna Kendrick), who withdrew from the wedding party when the bride’s brother (Wyatt Russell) dumped her, winds up sitting at the table reserved for the losers who didn’t have the sense to RSVP their regrets. Writer-director Jeffrey Blitz, working from a story by Mark and Jay Duplass, turns all the overworked wedding-comedy clichés inside out; just when we think we know where a gag will lead, the movie surprises us with a subversive twist we should have seen coming but didn’t. Blitz instills a lurching sweetness to the action that might look amateurish in a different movie, but it works here; like the hapless denizens of that table (Lisa Kudrow, Craig Robinson, June Squibb, Stephen Merchant, Tony Revolori), we squirm through some awkward moments but in the end we’re glad we came. J.L

A cranky middle-aged curmudgeon (Woody Harrelson) reconnects with his ex-wife (Laura Dern) and learns that he has a biological daughter who was given up for adoption (Isabella Amara); his efforts to cobble together some sort of family with them lead, like just about everything he’s ever done, to disaster. Adapting his own graphic novel, writer Daniel Clowes leaves in the comic-book clumps of the original—setup-punchline, setup-punchline—and director Craig Johnson fails to smooth them out or to instill the liberating unpredictability that Terry Zwigoff gave another Clowes adaptation, Ghost World, in 2001. But there’s still some cranky fun along the way, what with Harrelson’s slovenly charm and Dern’s attitude of bedraggled exasperation (both of them show a refreshing lack of moviestar vanity). J.L.

03.30.17 | SN&R | 31

50% 0FF

Bloody good time

Buy Buy 1 1 adult adult BuFFet BuFFet and and 2 2 drinks drinks get get 2nd 2nd adult adult BuFFet BuFFet 50% 50% oFF oFF

original coupon only • no copies

1 coupon per table. not for parties of 10 or more. cannot be combined with any other offer. expires 04/13/17.

SACRAMENTO

1402 Broadway 916.930.0888

CITRUS HEIGHTS

5623 Sunrise Blvd.

916.961.6888

Sun-Thurs 11am -10pm • Fri & Sat 11am -10:30pm

PARTY ROOMS AVAILABLE • NOW SERVING BEER & WINE

China Buffet

chinabuffetrestaurant.com

My Thai Kitchen OFF with coupon.

Exp. 04/31/17.

ONLINE ORDER & DELIVERY

1465 Eureka Rd. | Roseville | 916-781-7811 | eatatmythaikitchen.com

NG 25 I T A R B E L CE

YEARS

SAMMIES.COM

32 | SN&R | 03.30.17

by Willie Clark

drinking and what not, but music that is about happy, positive things is quite boring to a lot of people.”

So far, the band has released studio albums that feature juicy titles: Arkansas Killing Time (2005), STAB! (2006), Child of Calamity (2008), Tales from the Emancipated Head (2011) and The Feast of Three Arms (2016).

A majority of its most recent album was written several years ago. But back then the band decided to make an album that reflected its raucous and highHandy for brief or eternal rest. speed live shows, which led to STAB! The group then continually thought about putting out The Feast of Three Arms, only to delay it.

For the Pine Box Boys, musical murder is always “We didn’t think we were ready,” Carvidi says. on the menu.

On the other hand, The Feast of Three Arms, The band’s first show of deadly ballads was at a Cardivi says, showcases what the Pine Box Boys are Fourth of July party put on by a church, of all places. capable of in a studio setting. The stars finally aligned The group formed in San Francisco as the members for it to see the light of day last fall—the stars being were leaving previous groups in 2003 and were looktheir sense of confidence. ing to do something that was a little, well, different.

“Maybe 10 years ago, we were a lot more “It seemed to have a life of its own from the concerned about how it was received and how people very beginning,” says “Possum” Carvidi, who were thinking and all this sort of stuff, “Carvidi handles banjo, accordion, piano and saxophone says. “And at this point, I think we’re a for the group. little bit more comfortable that we’re Graphic lyrics may seem odd in a just going to put out what we put church. Perhaps even more so when out, and if people like it, they like “The energy and one peers beneath Pine Box Boys’ it, and if they don’t, they don’t.” sonic lid: Carvidi describes the the feedback was, The Pine Box Boys’ outfit as “very loud, fast and angry Sacramento touring history like, right there in your bluegrass music.” also has a more homey tale: face.”

Bluegrass isn’t the only genre The band’s first shows in the that fills up the band’s musical area were in backyards, and still “Possum” Carvidi coffin, however. “None of us come some of Carvidi’s best memories multi-instrumentalist from a country background or a of playing live. bluegrass background,” Carvidi says.

“The energy and the feedback “So, right away there [were] influences was, like, right there in your face,” from rock ’n’ roll and jazz and punk rock and Carvidi says. heavy metal.”

And even for Carvidi, a self-described hermit, that The result is a fast-and-furious ambush by the connection with the audience is important. music, paired with lyrics that focus on the darker side “Being able to be in front of people and socialize of life—these are murder ballads, after all. The lyrics with them and to do something that … makes me have a “sense of absurdity,” Cardivi says, and as really happy, makes them really happy, is quite a such, should not be taken entirely seriously. gift, for sure.” Ω “That’s probably one of our strongest suits, is having this constant contrast between, like, some pretty solemn, serious lyrics and what sounds like Check out the Pine Box Boys at the sixth annual northern California really absurd music,” Carvidi says. “It’s a strange Moustache and Beard Competition. Music starts at 10:30 p.m. Friday, april 7, at the California automobile Museum (2200 Front street). tickets thing because people love to get together and dance are $15. Find more at www.facebook.com/events/1723446224602474. and party and generally be happy with each other, Photo BY BrYan Davis

20%

The Pine Box Boys turn deadly stories into raucous fun

BEST CAR WASH SPECIALS

SouNd advice

Dusty punk Gypsycore: The first old-man joke

came from James Finch Jr., the other half of folk duo Truck Fight, something about the age limit being 40-and-over at Old Ironsides Saturday night. It was one of countless lighthearted degradations aimed at his stage partner, Noah Nelson.

Nelson, a Sacramento music man of many hats and even more bands, opted to celebrate the big 4-0 at Old I. His birthday bash was a music marathon billing some of his favorite acts, ending with the annual return of one of his most notorious, the gypsy-rockers Las Pesadillas.

But first up was Truck Fight, the duo of dusty folk rock featuring Nelson and Finch. The pair sauntered through a breezily paced set of acoustic tunes with the occasional synth keys and lyrical punk crass. One standout was an ode to inebriation and the local home front, “From Orangevale to Orangevale, to Orangevale and Back.”

Following them was Radio Orangevale, a supergroup of sorts with members of Las Pesadillas and Hypnotic IV. The band’s set effortlessly melted mathcore, surf and rock riffs tinged with Thin Lizzy, Black Sabbath and Judas Priest.

Surf rock quartet Hypnotic IV played a host of vintage originals and timeless covers like “Riders in the Sky” and “Pipeline.” Not every homage stuck to the decade of the Beach Boys, or the beach. One of their last tunes opened with Slayer’s “Raining Blood,” taking Dick Dale straight to hell in the 1980s.

The night ended with a nostalgic odyssey led by Las Pesadillas. The band meshes a range of genres, including hang-’em-high outlaw country, classical symphony, gypsy punk, swing and light power metal.

Center stage to the fury of sounds was violinist Damian Sol’s devilish fiddle shredding, narrated by Nelson’s Les Claypool-esque singing. After reuniting in 2015 following a long hiatus, this was Las Pesadillas’ first show in about a year. The band played one not-yet-titled track, and a new EP is planned.

The crowd loved what they heard and in response took to drunken dancing, cries and air conducting with their beer-free hands. But, it wasn’t only the audience that enjoyed the

reunion. Between songs, Sol endearingly told Nelson: “Thanks for getting older.”

EXPRESS EXTERIOR WASH ONLY • Priority Lane $ 99 9 * • Avoid Lines • No Delays

NORMALLY $13.99

—Mozes zarate Whiskey-tinged twang: It’s easy to see why JonEmery is nominated for the Sammies this year. His rollicking honky-tonk show on Friday, March 24, served whiskey-and-beer-soaked dancing and hoedown jams in perfect measure to a full house at Pistol Pete’s Brew & Cue in Auburn.

Devoted fans assembled at the rowdy bar to celebrate the lovelorn twang of electric guitar—this was country at its finest.

The well-attended show opened with Tatiana McPhee’s rallying cover of the Rolling Stone’s “Dead Flowers” to enthusiasm from the crowd, which began to gather around the stage. Before moving forward with heartfelt original songs, McPhee slung her guitar back and addressed the crowd: “I hope you like country honkytonk type music, because that’s what I play, so that’s what you’re gonna get!”

The crowd’s roaring approval was all she needed to play her own brand of country. Harkening to early Dolly Parton and Merle Haggard, her large acoustic guitar and powerful vocals blended seamlessly with the electric slide guitar and drums of her backing musicians.

This was just the opening act.

JonEmery, whose new record Driftin’ To the Shoulder is due out in June, took the crowd late into the night with original songs off the new album and fan favorites. He showcased influences from the honky-tonk, Americana and punk scenes—channeling the likes of Johnny Cash, Steve Earle and Jesse Dayton.

JonEmery got the crowd dancing and cheering from the billiard tables and the long wooden bar to the stage. His straightforward lyrical musings celebrate the simpler life, nostalgia and the melancholy of heartache. He even crafts cathartic, poetic reflections about trains.

Before the show’s end, JonEmery summed up his philosophy for a life well lived: “If you ain’t havin’ a good time, you ain’t livin’ life, man!”

—Matt KraMer

WITH COUPON

*Expires 04/27/17 • Coupon Code 405

PREMIER WASH 20.99 Full Service Wash including 8.00 5.00 1.00 6.00

interior vacuum & wipe down Triple Foam Wax Underbody Rust Inhibitor Air Freshener ONLY Sealant

$40.99 VALUE

*Expires 04/27/17 • Coupon Code 158

2299*

$

WITH COUPON

1901 L Street • 916.446.0129

(on the corner of 19th and L) •

www.harvscarwash.com

O S I M A R O ?

F P G O N H I S K K O R O O L W N O I T A FERMENT ?

N W O T E H T N O T H ?

S G I S A L AN C A G O Y T O H G N I M A E CHECK OUT T AS EVENT PROMOTERS: POST EVENTS FREE OF CHARGE!

SN&R’S BRAND NEW ONLINE CALENDAR A COMPREHENSIVE LIST OF WHAT’S HAPPENING EVERY DAY IN SACRAMENTO.

NEWSREVIEW.COM/SACRAMENTO/CALENDAR 03.30.17 | SN&R | 33

30 T HU

31 FRI

31 FRI

01 SAT

Mr. P Chill

Let It Be

TOMMY

The English Beat

Blue lamp, 9 p.m., $5

haRRiS CenteR, 7:30 p.m., $39-$75

Sacramento hip-hop artists like Mr. P Chill (pictured), Mr. Hooper, Ms. Vybe and more will perform in support of Peso 131 from the old-school hip-hop group Fearless Four.

From Harlem, Fearless Four released its popular single, “Rockin’ It” in the ’80s HIP-HOP and were one of the first hip-hop groups to sign to a major label. Peso released his latest work with the 131 Mixtape last year, so expect a live show filled with hits from the past studded with new material. Supporting artist Mr. P Chill will also perform songs off his new album The Beautiful Revolution, which he shared with new audiences at South

by Southwest last week. 1400 Alhambra Boulevard, http://mrpchillmusic.com.

—Steph RodRiguez

guild theateR, 8 p.m., $10-$12

Even though Sir Paul still tours on occasion, only the tribute act Let It Be captures the spirit and fervor of the Beatles’ younger years. Expect some wellcoordinated costume changes and a stroll through multiple eras from the greatest band on Earth. The two-hour show features a bevy of Beatles TRIBUTE ACT hits sprinkled with greats like George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord,” “Hey Jude,” “Live and Let Die,” “Come Together” and many more. Fans who’ve been yearning for a reunion that would never happen will get their money’s worth.

10 College Parkway in Folsom, www.letitbelive.com.

aCe of SpadeS, 7 p.m., $22

Sacramento isn’t exactly known for producing pop stars, but Tommy Patterson— going simply by TOMMY—could change that.

The singer’s style is worthy of a ’90s boy band with some Maroon 5, Sam Smith and alternative electropop thrown in. His first single, “Naive,” is crisp and slick with just a little heavy bass—the songwriter partnered with some Grammy-nominated producers who have worked with the likes of Justin Bieber. At the Guild, he’ll celebrate POP the release of his debut EP by playing every song live for the first time and sharing the emotional stories behind them. 2828 35th Street, http://officialtommy.com.

—Janelle BitkeR

Reunion tours are messy in your sixties.

Birmingham, U.K., delivered the Beat in 1978.

They were a ska outfit bringing racial harmony to the United Kingdom through rock and reggae blends. Originally the coinage of the English Beat demonstratSkA/NEw wAvE ed a difference between the United States version of the Beat also formed in the late 1970s. Now, the English Beat denotes competing versions manned by founding members. The California-based version led by Dave Wakeling is the English Beat. Go figure. Unchanged is the toasting, the victory laps of “Mirror in the Bathroom” and your propensity to skank. 1417 R Street. http://englishbeat.net.

—eddie JoRgenSen

—Blake gilleSpie

voted best dance club in sacramento! Kcra stage coach ticket giveaways

at stoney’s every friday night valued at $300 each with b92.5 the bull. horns up!

weDnesDays

college night $2/$3/$4 drinK specials 9-11

come check out our

NEW LOOK NOW 21+ Fri. April 7 • 8pm

thUrsDays

industry night specials $1,000 progressive KaraoKe contest

FriDay

b 92.5 country fridays .50 cent beer & $2 jacK special 8-9

satUrDay

country dance saturdays/KaraoKe up front

sUnDay FUnDay

18 & over country dance night plus .50 cent beer & $2 jacK from 7-9pm free late night biscuits n gravy friday feb 24th b 92.5 honKy tonK boomboX

1320 Del paso blvD in olD north sac

Stoneyinn.com 34 | SN&R | 03.30.17

916.402.2407

SKINLAB

KYNG - WHITE KNUCKLE RIOT Every Sunday 8pm begining 4/30 Danny K’s Pro Rock Jam 9426 Greenback ln.

Orangevale, CA 95662

916.988.9247

BoardwalkRocks.com

LIkE WATcHING A oNE-mAN-roBoT BAND From THE NoT-Too-DISTANT-FUTUrE.

02 S UN

04 T UE

05 W ED

06 T HU

Terror Pigeon!

Bob Log III

Aziza

Larry and his Flask

Third Space arT collecTive, 7 p.m., $5-$7

old ironSideS, 8 p.m., $10-$12

Are Nashville’s Terror Pigeon! really the world’s sweatiest band, as they claim?

Without issuing a proper study, we can safely say that they’re in—at least—the top 10. The duo stick their noses up at the notion of “performing on a stage” and turn their entire set into a punk-rock-fueled electronic dance party. They sing a variety of originals and covers. (Taylor Swift and Drake mashup, anyone?) They might even bring wacky props. Or if you want, the ELEcTro-PUNk band encourages you to bring your own props to the show. 946 Olive Drive, www.terrorpigeon.us.

mondavi cenTer, 8 p.m., $12.50-$45

Bob Log III is not a robot, though you might be skeptical. Seeing him perform is a little like watching a one-manGArAGE-rock robot band from the not-too-distant-future. His look could best be described as “outer-space Evel Knievel.”

The music—he plays guitar and drums at once—is like a blender full of garage-rock and blues, performed as though he thinks he’s playing techno at a ’90s rave. Of course, this is all the more entertaining as you watch him perform in his sinister Darth Vader-esque helmet and ’70s jumpsuit. 1901 10th Street, www.boblog111.com.

—aaron carneS

—aaron carneS

Goldfield TradinG poST, 7 p.m., $13-$15

Members of the adventurous jazz quartet Aziza bring their collective talents to Davis next week. Aziza is led by legendary bassist Dave Holland, a former Miles Davis band member who for decades explored more new directions than most Uber JAzz drivers log in a week. Abundantly talented saxophonist Chris Potter and killer drummer Eric Garland have explored jazz boundaries with Holland previously and multiple configurations of their own. The group is rounded out with guitarist Lionel Loueke who adds touches of African and Caribbean influences to the genre-bending jazz mix. 1 Shields Avenue in Davis, http://daveholland.com.

A live performance by Larry and his Flask is like watching a carnival wagon collide with a bluegrass buggy, leaving the vaudevillian musicians to clamor about from the mess of scattered banjos and trombones, picking up whatever instrument they are closest to and improvising an impromptu gypsy-shindig in the middle of the road while countrified onlookers AmErIcANA stomp their feet, slap their knees, hoot and holler—all of them ignoring the full-blown tornado zigzagging through the cornfields in the distance. 1630 J Street, www.larryandhisflask.com.

—amy Bee

—mark hanzlik

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com

LIVE MUSIC MAR 31 APR 01 APR 07 APR 08 APR 14 APR 15 APR 21 APR 22 APR 28 APR 29 MAY 06 MAY 13 MAY 19 MAY 26

MUD FOLK MATTHEW FRANTZ CHRISTIAN DEWILD THE CLAY DOGS JACOB WESTFALL ORION BAND BROKEN & MENDED STEPHEN YERKEY GYASI ROSS THE BONGO FURYS ZACH WATERS BAND FACEDOWN ZUHG FLYIN COWBOY

33 BEERS ON DRAFT

MONDAY PINT NIGHT 5-8 PM, TRIVIA @ 6:30 PM TACO TUESDAY $1.25 TACOS NOON - CLOSE WEDNESDAY OPEN MIC – SIGN-UPS @ 7:30 PM 101 MAIN STREET, ROSEVILLE 916-774-0505 · LUNCH/DINNER 7 DAYS A WEEK FRI & SAT 9:30PM - CLOSE 21+

/BAR101ROSEVILLE

COMING SOON

4/5 $30 ADV 7PM

YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND

3/30 7PM $15ADV

ROGER CREAGER

THE LIL’ SMOKIES

3/31-4/1 9PM $18ADV

TAINTED LOVE

4/6 $25 ADV 5:30PM

ANDY MC KEE JOE KYE

4/7 $8 ADV 8PM

4/2 $10 ADV 6PM

BEATLES ‘67

THE SEXTONES

CD RELEASE JELLY BREAD, HANS AND THE HOT MESS

SGT. PEPPER AND OTHER MAGICAL MYSTREIES

4/4 $10 ADV 7PM

THAT 1 GUY

4/8 $15 ADV 5:30PM

CHOIR! CHOIR! CHOIR!

04/09 Scott Pemberton Band 04/11 Mitski 04/12 Marco Benevento 04/13 B. Dolan 04/14 Rutabaga Boogie Band 04/14 Wonderbread 5 04/15 Bilal 04/16 Dave B 04/17 Ab-Soul 04/19 Roger Clyne & The Peacemakers 04/21 Petty Theft 04/23 Mike Love 04/24 Robert Ellis 04/25 Reverend Horton Heat (solo) 04/26 Big Freedia 04/28 Mickey and The Motorcars 04/29 Okilly Dokilly 04/30 Betty Who 05/02 Anthony David 05/04 Lil Peep

03.30.17 | SN&R | 35

thURSday 3/30 Badlands

#TURNTUP Thursdays College Night, 8 pm, no cover

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

CheCk ouT sn&r’s Brand new online Calendar newsreview.Com/ saCramenTo/Calendar

List your event!

Post a free listing on our website, and our editors will consider your event for the print edition of the nightbeat calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. online, you may include a full description of your event, a photo and a web link.

Simply go to www.newsreview.com/ sacramento/calendar and click on +Add Event.

Bar 101

101 Main St., RoSeville, (916) 774-0505

Blue lamp

1400 alhaMbRa, (916) 455-3400

GREAT PESO, MR. P CHILL, MR HOOPER; 9pm, $5

The Boardwalk

314 Main St., GRaSS valley, (530) 274-8384

Cooper’s ale works

235 coMMeRcial St., nevada city, (530) 265-0116

SatURday 4/01

SUnday 4/02

Monday-WedneSday 4/03-4/05

Friday’s on the floor, 10 pm no cover

Spectacular Saturday’s, call for time and cover

Industry Sundays, 8pm, no cover

Half off, 8pm, M, no cover; Karaoke, 8 pm, Tu, no cover; Trapicana, 9 pm, W, no cover

MUD FOLK FEATURING SANDRA DOLORES, 9:30pm, no cover

MATTHEW FRANTZ, 9:30pm, no cover

PATO BANTON, 8pm, $15

T-NUTTY, 9pm, call for cover

80 WEST, LIL DARRIONl 9pm, $10-$15

The spotlight, 9pm M, call for cover; MICHALE GRAVES, 8pm W, $7-$10

THE VERGE, DESTROY BOYS, 8pm, $10

9426 GReenbacK ln., oRanGevale, (916) 988-9247

CenTer for The arTs

FRiday 3/31

CON BRIO, BLUE LOTUS, 8pm, $20-$22 Karaoke, call for time and cover

CLIMBING POE TREE, 7:30pm, $24-$25 UNCHAINED, HUBCAP STEALERS, call for time and cover

CounTry CluB saloon disTriCT 30

Freedom Fridays w/ DJ DM, call for time and cover

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

faCes

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

Country dancin,’ 7pm, no cover

Every damn Monday, 7pm M, no cover; Purgatory, 7pm W, no cover

SPACEWALKER, KATMONKEYS, 9pm, $5

Open mic, 7:30 pm M, no cover; DJ AAKNUFF, 8 pm W, no cover

ACCORDING TO BAZOOKA, 7 pm, no cover

Goldfield TradinG posT

MICKEY AVALON, 8 pm, $20

halfTime Bar & Grill

Karaoke, 7pm, no cover

8-TRACK MASSACRE, 9pm, $5

POP FICTION, 9pm, $10

harlow’s

ROGER CREAGER, 8 pm, $15-$18

TAINTED LOVE, 10 pm, $18-$20

TAINTED LOVE, 10 pm, $18-$20

hiGhwaTer

On the Low, 9pm, no cover

5681 lonetRee blvd., RocKlin, (916) 626-6366 2708 J St., (916) 441-4693 1910 Q St., (916) 706-2465

kupros

luna’s Cafe & JuiCe Bar midTown Barfly

1119 21St St., (916) 549-2779

NICKEL SLOTS, JAYSON ANGOVE, 7 pm, $10

Poetry unplugged, 8pm, $2

Salsa and Bachata Friday, 8:30 pm, $8

College Essay CONTEST SPONSORS

THAT 1 GUY, 8 pm Tu, $10 - $12; YONDER MOUNTAIN STRING BAND, 8 pm W, $30-$35 Heavy, 9pm M, no cover; Tussle, 9pm Tu, no cover; Good stuff, 9pm W, no cover

Kupros Quiz, 7:30

Open Mic, 8pmTu; ROSS HAMMOND, 7:30pm, W Nebraska Mondays, 7pm M, call for cover; Open Mic Comedy, 8pm, Tu, no cover

IOLA ROSE, 7pm, $10

ENTER SN&R’S

36 | SN&R | 03.30.17

BEATLES 67, 6:30pm, $10-$12

Salty Saturday, 9pm, no cover SHINER, 9:30pm, no cover

1217 21St St., (916) 440-0401 1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931

THE BRANGS AND LUCKY LASKOWSKI & THE LIARS CHOIR, 9 pm, $5

Obsessed Saturdays w/ DJ KAOS, call for time and cover

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825 1603 J St., (916) 476-5076

Karaoke, Tu, call for time and cover

ARIEL JEAN BAND, 9pm, call for cover

2007 tayloR Rd., looMiS, (916) 652-4007

fox & Goose puBliC house

BOB LOG III, MORRISSEY’S COCK, 9pm, $10

Midtown Moxies: Go Viral, 8pm, $18-$20

Factor IX, 9pm, call for cover

Salsa and Bachata Wednesday, 7:30 pm, W, $5

THE PRIZES:

THE DETAILS:

First place will receive a $2,000 award, plus $1,000 for second place and $500 for third place.

Essays must be no longer than 650 words. Email essays as a Word document or PDF attachment to collegeessay@ newsreview.com, with the subject line “College Essay Contest.” Deadline is Friday, April 21, at 5 p.m.

THE RULES: High-school seniors graduating in 2017 are eligible.

Only one entry allowed per student, and you must live in the Sacramento region to apply.

No SN&R employees or their relatives may enter.

tHurSDAY 3/30

FriDAY 3/31

1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

TERRY SHARP, SYDNEY SHARP & SAM SHARP, 8:30pm, $5

HUNGRY SKINNY, JOAN AND THE RIVERS, 8:30pm, $5

oLd IroNsIdes

The Fortunate Few, 8pm, $3

JEM & SCOUT WEST, 9pm, $5

Lipstick, 9pm, $5

oN the Y

Open mic, 8pm, no cover

ASTRAL CULT, FELL, 8pm, $8

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Naked LouNge dowNtowN 1901 10tH St., (916) 442-3504 670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

PaLms PLaYhouse

SAturDAY 4/01

SunDAY 4/02

BRYAN MCPHERSON, BRAIN HANOVER, 8:30pm, W, $5 BOB LOG III, 8pm Tu, $10; Open mic, 8pm W, no cover

13 MAin St., WinterS, (530) 795-1825

JAMES HARMAN’S BAMBOO PORCH REVUE, 8pm, $20

PLacervILLe PubLIc house

J. WOODY & DANA, 7pm, call for cover

UNCOMMON GROUND, 7pm, call for cover

TRITONES, 1:30pm, call for cover

Powerhouse Pub

ALEX VINCENT, 10pm, $10

INSPECTOR 71, 10pm$10

RYDER GREEN, 3pm, $10

414 MAin St., PlAcerville, (530) 303-3792 614 Sutter St., FolSoM, (916) 355-8586

the Press cLub

MDL, 5pm, call for cover; Sunday night dance party w/ DJ LARRY, 9 pm, no cover

THE REMONES, THE MOANS, 8pm, $6

2030 P St., (916) 444-7914

shadY LadY saLooN

MonDAY-WeDneSDAY 4/03-4/05

Four Eyes with Surrogate Brains 6pm Friday, $8.

Cafe Colonial Punk PERIOD BOMB, VASAS, 9pm, M, no cover

CITY OF TREES BAND, 9pm, no cover

1409 r St., (916) 231-9121

soL coLLectIve

Activist school: know your immigration rights, 6pm W, no cover

ANA CASTILLO, 6pm, $5

2574 21St St.,

starLIte LouNge

PENNY, MIZERE, RAW B; 8pm M, $5; SECOND STILL, 8pm W, $7-$10

CHERNOBOG, BIPOLAR, 8 pm, $10

1517 21St St., (916) 704-0711

stoNeY’s rockIN rodeo

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Country DJ dancing, 9pm W, no cover

torch cLub

X-TRIO, 5pm, no cover; ISLAND OF BLACK & WHITE, 9pm, $6

PAILER &FRATIS, 5:30pm, no cover; MR DECEMBER, 9pm, $6

THE STUFF, 5:30pm, no cover; JOHN CLIFTON, 9pm, $8

Blues jam, 4pm, no cover; Front the band, 9pm, no cover

MICHAEL RAY, 8pm Tu, no cover; MICHAEL DEAN DAMRON, 9pm W, $5

ace of sPades

LEFTOVER CRACK, STARVING WOLVED, 6:30 pm, $15; LOCASH, 7 pm, $84

PINK FLOYD LASER SPECTACULAR, 7:30pm, $22

1320 Del PASo BlvD., (916) 927-6023 904 15tH St., (916) 443-2797

All ages, all the time 1417 r St., (916) 448-3300

cafe coLoNIaL the coLoNY

CURING ADAM, LOS SHADOWS, 8pm, $7

3512 Stockton BlvD., (916) 718-7055

shINe

Print ads start at $6/wk. www.newsreview.com or (916) 498-1234 ext. 5

Online ads are

STILL FREE!*

*Nominal fee for adult entertainment. All advertising is subject to the newspaper’s Standards of Acceptance. Further, the News & Review specifically reserves the right to edit, decline or properly classify any ad. Errors will be rectified by re-publication upon notification. The N&R is not responsible for error after the first publication.

The N&R assumes no financial liability for errors or omission of copy. In any event, liability shall not exceed the cost of the space occupied by such an error or omission.

The advertiser and not the newspaper assumes full responsibility for the truthful content of their advertising message.

LOCAL DRIVERS WANTED! Be your own boss. Flexible hours. Unlimited earning potential. Must be 21 with valid U.S. driver’s license, insurance & reliable vehicle.

866-329-2672 (AAN CAN)

PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000 a Week Mailing Brochures From Home! No Experience Required.

Helping Home Workers Since 2001! Genuine Opportunity. Start Immediately! www.IncomeStation.net (AAN CAN) VSP Opening for Sr. Software Engineer in Rancho Cordova, CA. Responsible for design, programming, and implementation of large systems. For req. and to apply: http:// career4.successfactors.com/ career?company=VSP. Job #1167.118. EOE.

RED, 6:30 pm, $18

MODERATTO, 7 pm, Tu, $27

DS-13, CLASSHOLE, CLITERATI, 7pm, $12-$15

ROHT, ACRYLICS, 8pm, W, $5-$7

with ROHT 8pm Wednesday, $5-$7.

Cafe Colonial Noise punk

WHATEVR, TIGHTROPE, 7pm, $12 FREE CANDY, PIERCE & THE GALS, 8pm, $7

1400 e St., (916) 551-1400

AIRLINE CAREERS begin here - Get started by training as FAA certified Aviation Technician. Financial aid for qualified students.

Job placement assistance.

Call Aviation Institute of Mainetenance. (800) 725-1563 (AAN CAN)

THE ENGLISH BEAT, 7pm, $22

THE BAND ICE CREAM, GHOUL SCHOOL, SURROGATE BRAINS, FOUR EYES, O’ 8pm, call for cover MULLIGANS, 6pm, $8

3520 Stockton BlvD., (916) 736-3520

Phone hours: M-F 9am-5pm.

All ads post online same day.

Deadlines for print: Line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Adult line ad deadline: Monday 4pm Display ad deadline: Friday 2pm

Acrylics

THE MECHULA, WORKING MAN BLUES BAND; 8pm, $6

Lung Cancer? 60+ yrs old?

May Be Entitled To A Significant Cash Award. Call 888-338-8056 To Learn More.

No Risk. No Money Out Of Pocket (AAN CAN)

ALL AREAS Free Roommate Service @ RentMates.com.

Find the perfect roommate to complement your personality and lifestyle at RentMates.com!

(AAN CAN)

MAKE THE CALL TO START GETTING CLEAN TODAY Free 24/7 Helpline for alcohol & drug addiction treatment. Get help! It is time to take your life back! Call Now: 855-732-4139 (AAN CAN) PENIS ENLARGEMENT PUMP. Get Stronger & Harder Erections Immediately. Gain 1-3 Inches Permanently & Safely.

Guaranteed Results. FDA Licensed. Free Phone Consultation: 1-800-354-3944 www.DrJoelKaplan.com (AAN CAN) Struggling with DRUGS or ALCOHOL? Addicted to PILLS? Talk to someone who cares. Call The Addiction Hope & Help Line for a free assessment.

800-978-6674 (AAN CAN)

Oriental Magic Hands

Jason Shimomura CMT 601-1292 (9am-9pm daily)

PREGNANT? THINKING OF ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families Nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions.

866-413-6293. Void in Illinois/ New Mexico/Indiana (AAN CAN)

Speak Out (Open Mic), 8pm, W. no cover

Livelinks - Chat Lines Flirt, chat and date! Talk to sexy real singles in your area.

Call now! (877) 609-2935 (AAN CAN) ¿Hablas Español?

HOT Latino Chat.

Call FREE! 800-928-7714 Looking For Love?

Looking for love or just a friendly chat? Connect with Latino singles in your area.

18 Plus - Call 1-800-413-8915 Try it free.

Tired of the Same Old Dating Sites?

Meet real people in your area & make a new connection on your terms! 18 plus only. Call 1-800-931-8450.

adult Let Me Pamper You Experience an upscale, exotic massage by a petite blonde with a sinful appeal. Enjoy my unrushed touch in my clean, quiet home.

(916) 812-5330 48 Pills + 4 Free!

Viagra 100mg/Cialis 20mg Free pills! No hassle, discreet shipping. Save now.

Call today 1-877-621-7013 (AAN CAN)

03.30.17 | SN&R | 37

pure gold

Always FREE to listen and reply to ads!

WWW.GOLDCLUBCENTERFOLDS.COM

totally nude showgirls

$5 off admission

w/ad $5 off after 7pm 1 drink minimum exp 4/30/17. not valid on ufc fight nights

store open 10am club open 5pm cormier vs johnson 2

WHO ARE YOU AFTER DARK?

Try FREE: 916-480-6200 More Local Numbers: 1-800-700-6666

Playmates or soul mates, you’ll find them on MegaMates

redhotdateline.com 18+

#1 PER N&R GREAT FOOD

LUNCH SPECIALS

SAMANTHA RONE OVER 170 XXX MOVIES

WED APR 5 – SAT APR 8

ufc 210 classic dvds:

sat apr 8 · 135” screen

debbie does dallas deep throat taboo: i, ii behind the green door nasty toys for you or her

dancer auditions

5 pack dvds

$9.69

daily 3000 SUNRISE BLVD. #2 w/coupon Reg. $12.69 AD EXps 4-30-17. 1 pEr customEr

Sacramento:

(916) 273-8207 www.megamates.com 18+

RANCHO CORDOVA, CA

916.631.3520

2016 AMERICA’S PORN SWEETHEART & BLONDE BABE OF THE YEAR STAGE TIMES:

Wednesdays & Thursdays 10pm & 12:30am Fridays Noon, 9:30pm, 11:30pm & 1:30am Saturdays 9:30pm, 11:30pm & 1:30am

STORE SIGNING FRI & SAT 6-8PM AMATEUR CONTEST/AUDITIONS EVERY MONDAY

10:30 PM - $450.00 CASH PRIZE

FRIENDLY ATTRACTIVE DANCERS CONTRACTED DAILY. CALL 858-0444 FOR SIGN UP INFO

FREE ADMIT w/Ad $5.00 VALUE

Valid Anytime With Drink Purchase

25,000 ADULT DVDS $0.49 - & UP

WE BUY USED ADULT DVDS BACHELOR / DIVORCE PARTIES 916.858.0444 FULL SERVICE RESTAURANT

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

SPORTS ACTION ON OUR GIANT SCREEN TV

11363 Folsom Blvd, Rancho Cordova (Between Sunrise & Hazel)

858-0444

M-Th 11:30-3 • Fri 11:30-4 • Sat 12-4 • Sun 3-3 Gold Club Centerfolds is a non-alcohol nightclub featuring all-nude entertainment. Adults over 18 only.

38 | SN&R | 03.30.17

by JOEY GARCIA

REAL PEOPLE, REAL DESIRE, please co REAL FUN.

Midlife reset My life is a complete failure. I’m a woman in my 50s who has never had a long-term, loving, intimate relationship. I’ve only had short-term romance, though I have a son I love very much. My work is boring. I don’t know what my life passion is. I have a few friends I see occasionally. I’m facing a lonely old age full of regret and lost opportunities. I don’t know how to avoid this outcome. I feel like it is due to an inability to connect with people. Is there hope for me?

Yes, hope exists for you, and for millions of others who also struggle at times with feelings of emptiness and despair. Change is possible. You can reinvent yourself. That is, get to know a different version of you and introduce her to the world.

Let’s count your successes. You have managed to stay upright on the planet for more than a half-century.

You’ve given the world a young man who knows he is loved by you and can trust in that love.

You are employed.

Your life includes time with friends and a few romantic flings. If these experiences fail to fill your emptiness, practice savoring joy.

When we focus on our troubles, they appear insurmountable. When we focus on our blessings, contentment grows. So don’t let your mind complain. Instead of wishing you had more time with friends, for example, obsess about sweet moments together. Allow your focus to enlarge those morsels until each overtakes the emptiness you feel.

Midlife prompts us to reflect and reset.

It’s not a crisis, unless you want it to be.

Enjoy a midlife catharsis. Purge attitudes and beliefs that block insight, compassion or joy. Stop yourself from projecting negativity into your future. Want to have good things to look forward to? Pay attention to the present moment. Ask yourself, “What can I do right now to feel good?”

Smile. Dance. Read inspiring quotes.

Shift into happy gear.

You must also forgive yourself for lost opportunities. Heal regrets by trusting that the woman you used to be did

ADVER

@AskJoeyGarcia

FREE TRIAL

the best she could. When the woman you are now absolves the younger you, the connection to your authentic self deepens. The more connected you feel to yourself, the simpler it is to connect to others.

THE HOTTEST GAY CHATLINE

1-916-480-6210 More Local Numbers: 800-777-8000

It’s not a crisis, unless you want it to be.

MedItatIon of the Week “It took me quite a long time to develop a voice, and now that I have it, I’m not going to be silent,” said Madeleine Albright.

Who hears you?

More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000 Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+

FREE TRIAL

Discreet Chat Guy to Guy

916.480.6215

ADVERTISE HERE

I’m 16 years old and I have nothing in common with my parents. We have never had a conversation about anything important. I don’t tell them anything about my life, and they don’t tell me anything about theirs. I just wanted to tell someone.

Thank you for trusting me with your feelings and situation. It’s OK if you feel disconnected from your parents. But it helps to have a few adults in your life with whom you can talk openly. If you don’t currently have a neighbor, relative, teacher or coach to talk with consistently, try to develop that kind of friendship. I know that we adults can be annoying at times, but we do care about you.

Plus, we can offer perspectives that are often helpful in a teen’s decision-making process about well, whatever. And, of course, you can write to me whenever you like. Ω

www.guyspyvoice.com

Ahora en Español/18+

Try FREE: 916-480-6227

If you are interested in advertising with us, please contact CLASSIFIEDS at 916-498-1234 ext. 1338.

GRAND OPENING SPECIAL $40 1 HOUR • FREE STEAM & SHOWER

THE BEST MASSAGE YOU CAN GET

NEW STAFF!

5 OFF

$

* VIETNAMESE BODY MASSAGE * DEEP TISSUE * SWEDISH

• 7 Days a Week 10am–10pm • Sauna & Shower Available • Free Chinese therapies • Reflexology • Deep Tissue • Swedish

* HOT STONES

Lady Saigon Spa 6840 65TH ST #A135, SAC CA 95828 • 916-573-3919 MON-SUN 9A-8P, CLOSES TUES & HOLIDAYS

*this is a model

GOOD DAY SPA

916.395.7712 7271 55th St. #D

Sacramento 95823

All Credit Cards Accepted

Vibrational ❤

TANTRIC MASSAGE ❤

ANTELOPE Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review. Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Boulevard, Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 1360; or email askjoey@newsreview.com.

9AM-9PM DAILY $80+ Ann, CMT

❤

916.722.7777

29-JET SPA | BODY SHAMPOO | BY APPT

03.30.17 | SN&R | 39

SN&R’s

What’s inside: The 420 47 Product Review 51 Capital Cannabis Map 55 For More deals, updates & Listings Visit

and the at newsreview.com

WIDE SELECTION OF

AWARD WINNING

FLOWERS & EXTRACTS FOR EXPRESS ORDERS CALL 916.476.4344

916.476.4344

@916NHC FACEBOOK.COM/916NORTHSTAR

40 | SN&R | 03.30.17

JOIN OUR VIP

PROGRAM BY TEXTING VIP TO 916.945.9484

MONDAY & FRIDAY: DONATE TOWARDS ONE GRAM OF CONCENTRATE AND GET THE SECOND ONE HALF OFF

1236 C STREET

SACRAMENTO, CALIFORNIA, OPEN 9:00AM - 9:00PM 7 DAYS A WEEK

Save the Date

4 .20 . 17 celebration!

G i v ea w a y s • sn ac ks • d is c o un t s

free

$ 45 st

free

st.

’13

vali d t hr o u G h 0 4 /0 5 /17

id card for first 20 people! on 4.20.17 ’13

’13

$ 35 pati e nt re n e wal s o n l y va l i d a t 18 0 0 2 1 st . st

v a lid th ro uGh 04/05/17

r st.

’13

’13

’13 ’14

’13

2 1 st s t .

new pati e nts on ly v alid a t 1800 21

recommendation to first 4 people! on 4.20.17

G e t a pproved or no ch ar G e! • 24/7 v e ri f i c at i o n s ! • hi p aa co m p li an t • 1 00% d octor /pati ent conf i d enti ali ty NOTICE TO CONSUMERS: The Compassionate Use Act of 1996 ensures that seriously ill Californians have the right to obtain and use cannabis for medical purposes where medical use is deemed appropriate and has been recommended by a physician who has determined that the person’s health would benefit from the use of medical cannabis. Recommendations must come from an attending physician as defined in Section 11362.7 of the Health and Safety Code. Cannabis is a Schedule I drug according to the federal Controlled Substances Act. Activity related to cannabis use is subject to federal prosecution, regardless of the protections provided by state law.

1800 2 1 s t s t • (9 16) 90 5 -4171 • medeval420@G mai l. com • 4 20me de va l.com o pen mo n d a y t h ro uG h s a tu r d a y 1 1 a m to 6 p m • ope n s unday 11am t o 5pm 03.30.17 | SN&R | 41

SN&R’s

Monday: 11am - 7pm Tuesday: 11am - 7pm Wednesday: 11am - 7pm Thursday: 11am - 7pm Friday: 7am - 7pm Saturday: CLOSED Sunday: CLOSED

Ask us abou out our hom t visit concier e ge service!

• Pain (Chronic and Acute) • Headaches/Migraines • Low Appetite • Poor Sleep • Nausea/Vomiting • Neuropathy • Depression 42 | SN&R | 03.30.17

• Anxiety • ADHD • Muscle Spasms • Poor Digestion • Glaucoma • Seizures ...and much more...

03.30.17 | SN&R | 43

SN&R’s

s program d r a w e r t n Patie buy 3 1/8ThS get one

free* *Exp. 04/05/17. caNNOT bE cOmbINEd W/ aNy OThER OffER.

scan the QR code to score a freebie from Two Rivers Expires 04/05/17

44 | SN&R | 03.30.17

20%

10%

aNy EdIbLE*

aNy cONcENTRaTE*

off

off

open new years day 10am - 4pm OpEN 7 dayS a WEEk 9am – 9pm

TWO RIVERS WELLNESS • 315 NORTh 10Th STREET, SacRamENTO /TWORIVERSSac 916.804.8975 • TWORIVERSSac.cOm

/two_rivers

membershiP requireD

alienweed er 7 yeA ov periencrS e ex

TOP DOC

215 renewals

e e $45 fr offer exp. 4.20.17

• fASteSt doc in town • no lineS • beSt price • moSt optionS

membership benefits free 215 renewAl free 1/8th top Shelf free memberShip cArd free dAbS free 420 diScount

includeS AutomAtic renewAl progrAm & 215 cArd thAt never expireS

916.572.5215 • 1506 Sproule Ave, SAcrAmento, cA 95811 • open mon-SAt 10Am-6pm

03.30.17 | SN&R | 45

SN&R’s

GOT A MARIJUANA

CONVICTION? Call California Record Repair for a

FREE

CONSULTATION with one of our experienced attorneys.

REDUCE OR DISMISS PRIOR MARIJUANA CONVICTIONS California Record Repair is a legal clinic offering low cost legal assistance for prop 64.

916-573-1001 • CALIFORNIARECORDREPAIR.COM

y l n o l a c i Med h t 8 / 1 n a y bu * ! e e r f 1 t e g while supplies last.

$35 cap

$10 cap 3 grams on All grams flower and hash

for $50 wax special

916.254.3287

on Concentrate Grams

dabface and hifi Fri 3/31 4-7pm

135 Main Avenue • Sacramento CA, 95838 • Open Mon-Sat 10AM–7PM • Now Open Sun 12-5 46 | SN&R | 03.30.17

Burning desire

Bring in any competitor’s coupon* and we’ll beat it by $5 *That is CA Medical Board Standards Compliant.

Must present competitor’s ad. Some restrictions apply.

I keep seeing stories about cannabis-based lubes. Do they work?

—Keen Key Yes. A good lube is a good lube. I have heard decent reports about most of the cannabis-based lubricants in the market today.

However, these lubes aren’t gonna get you “high” in the traditional sense. THC absorbed through the skin doesn’t have the same psychoactive effects as THC absorbed through the lungs.

Let’s talk about weed and sex for a minute. In my opinion, weed and sex go together like weed and sex. Weed isn’t an “aphrodisiac” in the traditional sense. You’re not gonna smoke a joint and turn into an insatiable sex machine. I mean, I guess it could happen; I gave a friend of mine a joint one time and he called me the next day asking for more information on that particular strain because his wife got all turned on and sexed the shit out of him.

But that isn’t how it usually goes down.

Rather than being the impetus for sex, marijuana is more like the ketchup or the Sriracha of sex: It makes everything just a little bit better. Think about some of weed’s general effects: It helps you relax, gives you a mild euphoria and heightens the senses of touch and taste and smell. These are all things that make sex feel better.

Add in pot’s ability to help people zone in on a particular item or sensation to the exclusion of other things, and weed has everything you need to create spectacular sexy time.

Cannabis helps the body produce anandamides. Anandamides (also known as “The Bliss Drug”) are very similar to THC. Anandamide and THC both attach to the bliss receptors in the brain, and more bliss equals better sex. By the way, you can also find anandamides in chocolate, especially dark chocolate.

Weed can be great not just for your sex life, but for your overall relationship as well.

Studies have shown that couples who regularly smoke pot together have fewer incidents of domestic violence. Also, college kids tend to use condoms more often and engage in safer sex practices when they are stoned vs. when they are drunk, which is awesome. Safe sex is great sex.

Some studies have shown that men can experience delayed orgasm (which would probably help some of you dudes), but that could also be attributed to the “time dilation” effect that happens sometimes when people are stoned.

Plenty of people find cannabis to be an enjoyable complement to a fulfilling and robust sex life. When used responsibly and sexily, cannabis can be just as much fun under the sheets as it is in the streets.

Let’s talk about weed and sex.

You are my Weed Guru and my Laughter Therapist and I give thanks for you to infinity. Would you consider being my 420 Travel Agent as well? I am planning a trip to Las Vegas and need a guide.

—Elvis’ Smoking Hot Daughter Yes. My rates are very reasonable. Reach me through the Galactic Consciousness Bureau. Ω Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

Email him questions at ask420@newsreview.com.

VOTED BEST 420 PHYSICIAN IN SAC! ’15

420 MD MEDICAL MARIJUANA EVALUATIONS

SPRING COMPASSION SPECIAL

39 49

$

$

RENEWALS

MUST BRING AD.

Limit one per patient. Some restrictions apply.

NEW PATIENTS MUST BRING AD.

Limit one per patient. Some restrictions apply.

916.480.9000 2 CONVENIENT LOCATIONS TO SERVE YOU

2100 Watt Ave, Unit 190 | Sacramento, CA 95825 | Mon–Sat 10am–6pm 2633 Telegraph Ave. 109 | Oakland, CA 94612 | 510-832-5000 Mon–Sat 10am–6pm | Sun: 12am-6pm RECOMMENDATIONS ARE VALID FOR 1 YEAR FOR QUALIFYING PATIENTS WALK-INS WELCOME ALL DAY EVERYDAY 420 MD OPERATING IN COMPLIANCE WITH THE MEDICAL BOARD OF CALIFORNIA

YOUR INFORMATION IS 100% PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL VISIT OUR WEBSITE TO BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT ONLINE 24/7 AT

www.420MD.org 03.30.17 | SN&R | 47

SN&R’s

GET EVALUATED TODAY

FREE

AND RECEIVE PLATINUM PERKS LIKE A PERSONALIZED PORTFOLIO, ID CARD, LAMINATE PROTECTION AND 24/7 VERIFICATION

HOP ON OVER TO

FILL YOUR BASKETS FOR AS LOW AS $25 PER 1/8TH OZ.

HAPPY HOUR MON-FRI 1-5PM & 9PM-CLOSE FREE 1/8 OZ DOUBLES TO FREE 1/4 OZ OF HOUSE CHOICE FLOWERS WITH EVERY DONATION ($55 MIN. REQUIRED) FREE 1/8 OF HOUSE CHOICE FLOWERS WITH EVERY ORDER ($55 MIN. REQUIRED) VETS: FREE PRE-ROLL PER DONATION

TRIPLE PLATINUM $30 per 1/8th

SWEET TOOTH $25 per 1/8th

SESHAT BRAND LEMON COOKIE CRUMBLE $35/g or donate for 5 (mix or match) for $120

DELIVERY FEE MAY APPLY FOR SELECT AREAS

WECLONE@GMAIL.COM• www.WECLONE420.com 916.670.8626 HOURS: MON-FRI: 11AM-MIDNIGHT • CLOSED SAT-SUN

h t e Y b L e p S m i S ed conSULtat t

m 0 42

Grow S LEttEr bLE AvAiLA ifiED L A U Q tO tS patien

$45 new

patients

ionS

WE’LL AtCh ANY LM O C CLiNiC AL SPECiAAD L! W/ COPY O thiS ad f

Get approved or no charGe! one step evaluation process • walk-ins welcome

downtown Sacramento 2015

Q Street, 95811 • (916) 706-1150

OPEN Monday through Saturday 11am to 6pm • CLOSED SUNDAY • valid through 4/5/17

48 | SN&R | 03.30.17

$35

renewal with copy of ad

03.30.17 | SN&R | 49

SN&R’s sell us your Get Your Recommendation!

North Of Hwy 50 @ Bradshaw & Folsom Blvd surplus pounds!

ReNewalS

40 $50

$

call for appointment

Photo ID

available for

$15

w/ couPoN exP. 04/05/17 SNR

New PatieNt w/ couPoN exP. 04/05/17 SNR

50

Routier

Bradshaw

Blvd om Fols

- Mon-Sat 10am-6pm Sun 11am-5pm NOTICE TO CONSUMERS: The Compassionate Use Act of 1996 ensures that seriously ill Californians have the right to obtain and use cannabis for medical purposes where medical use is deemed appropriate and has been recommended by a physician who has determined that the person’s health would benefit from the use of medical cannabis. Recommendations must come from an attending physician as defined in Section 11362.7 of the Health and Safety Code. Cannabis is a Schedule I drug ’14 according to the federal Controlled Substances Act. Activity related to cannabis use is subject to federal prosecution, regardless of the protections provided by state law.

’13

caNN-Medical

50 | SN&R | 03.30.17

9719A Folsom Blvd. Sacramento, CA 916-822-5690 • www.cannmedical.org

new easier guidelines! commission sales– people wanted growers buying all bud and select shake

sign up now!

vanderbilt collective 916.267.8919 • m-f noon to 5pm

To get the latest info, coupons & deals text weed to 42828

capital cannabis newsletter

FREE DELIVERY W/ MIN. DONATION

THE BEST FIRST TIME PATIENT DEALS IN TOWN!

EXTREME TOP SHELF: Cherry AK47 & Blue Cookies Mountain Kush Frost Cookies

TOP SHELF: Gorilla Glue, Banana Jack, Platinum OG, Blueberry

MIDGRADE: Sherbert & Girl Scout Cookies

TOP QUALITY MEDICINE • COMPASSION PRICES • FREE DELIVERY W/ MIN DONATION ASK US ABOUT: NEW SHATTER • KIVA CANDY BARS • KIVA TERRA BITES • VAPE PENS & REFILL CARTRIDGES • KIEF

Photo by Anne StokeS

Xternal Topical Cream and THCA Balm

MONDAY SPECI A L: 10 % OF F A L L E DI B L E S

by DAniel bArneS

TUESDAY SPECI A L:

Skin Deep

1 F R EE GR A M OF BU BBL E H A SH W HEN PA T I E N T H A S A S U B T O T A L OF $ 10 0

Xternal Topical Cream/THCA Balm

Discretion ..............★ ★ ★ ✩ ✩ Potency .................★ ★ ★ ✩ ✩

he therapeutic benefits of medical cannabis go beyond the stress-, anxiety- and insomnia-relieving effects of the drug, far exceeding the pleasure of merely “getting high” (not that there’s anything wrong with that). For example, cannabinoids have been shown to be very effective at treating various skin disorders, including acne, eczema and psoriasis.

One of the leaders in the cannabis skin care movement, the extensive Making You Better Brands line of Xternal skin care products shows the variety of ways that the anti-inflammatory and anti-bacterial properties of cannabinoids can be used on your skin. They offer everything from topical lotions and washes to balms and massage oils, and since the cannabis used in the lotion is non-psychoactive, it can be applied to the skin without producing a high.

Viscous and slightly green, the Xternal THCA Balm ($19.99) smells strongly of eucalyptus and mint, although the

THURSDAY SPECI A L: 10 % OF F A L L C B D R IC H M E DIC I N E

FRIDAY SPECI A L: G E T A F R E E C A R T R I D G E W H E N A PA T I E N T H A S A SU BTOTA L OF $ 250 OR MOR E

Cannabinoids have been shown to be very effective at treating various skin disorders, including acne, eczema and psoriasis.

A follow-up step could be the Xternal Topical Cream ($19.99), also slightly green and very pungent, with ingredients that include aloe vera, sunflower oil, jojoba oil and, of course, cannabis. Wash and pat dry your skin, and then massage some of the cream evenly on the affected area. As with any topical product, ease into a routine and don’t overuse.

S AT U R DAY SPECI A L: GET A 4 GR A M TOP SHEL F 1/ 8T H

SUNDAY SPECI A L: GET A F R EE HOUSE PR E -ROL L W HEN YOU H AV E A S U B T O T A L O F $ 5 0 O R M O R E

FREE GIFT FOR NEW PATIENTS FREE SERVICES FOR MEMBERS 3015 H Street • Sacramento, CA 916.822.4717 • 9am–9pm Everyday www.ATherapeuticAlternative.com *

Doctor’s recommendation & CA I.D. required

G St

Alhambra

T

Value .....................★ ★ ★ ★ ★

ingredients only list castor oils, seed oil, cannabis and waxes. Cleansing balms are good for people with sensitive skin because of their natural ingredients and the lack of harsh chemicals. Apply the balm to your skin and then wash it away as the first step in your skincare routine.

BUS-80

Review

Ease of Use ...........★ ★ ★ ★ ✩

WEDNESDAY SPECI A L: G E T A F R E E 5 D O S E K O R O VA W H E N A PA T I E N T H A S A S U B T O T A L OF $ 8 0 O R M O R E

H St

Produced by the Custom Publications division of News & Review.

03.30.17 | SN&R | 51

SN&R’s

join the

vanderbilt collective Want more Weight?

Want cheaper prices?

New easier guideliNes! Commission sales– people wanted

sign up now!

call jack!

To get the latest info, coupons & deals text weed to 42828

tu, thu-suN 8am-5pm moN & wed 3pm-5pm

916.267.8919

capital cannabis newsletter

MEDICAL MARIJUANA DELIVERY 2201 Northgate Blvd, Sacramento, CA 95833 *No coupon stacking, not valid for @sherbinski415 & @the_real_king_cookie strains ** some exclusions apply *** of equal or lesser value. exp. 4.6.17

Buy 3 1/8ths

GET ONE

WHERE THE REAL GROWERS BUY THEIR CLONES

buy 3 grams of

FREE* 4th FREE 4.20 concentrates get

*

EVENT DETAILS COMING SOON

REAL COOKIE FAM SHERBENSKI STRAINS SOLD HERE EXCLUSIVELY

Monday

Patients Choice Choose from any daily special

Tuesday

Thursday

Saturday

Free Gram w/donation towards any 1/8th

Free Gram w/donation towards any 1/8th

Shatter Day 15% off all concentrates**

Vape Day 15% off all vape products**

Free J Friday w/min donation of $30

Donate towards 3 edibles, get the 4th free!***

Wednesday

www.ZEN916.com | 916.292.8120 @ Zen_Garden916 FOLLOW US Open 10am-9pm 7 days a week 52 | SN&R | 03.30.17

Friday

3X SNR DELIVERY WINNER

$30 min. delivery

FREE DELIVERY TO Sacramento • Roseville • Folsom • Elk Grove • Davis Open everyday 10am-8pm • 916-661-7324 • eztree.com

IS AROUND THE CORNER

DAILY SPECIALS

Sign-up, view menu, and order online

Sunday

Free gram 916.469.9182 1404 28th Street

Corner of 28th & N, Midtown Sac Open 10am-9pm 7 days a week www.GreenSolutionsSac.com

N e w pat i e N t

SpeCialS & GiftS!

/greensolutionsmidtown

* e x p.

04.05.17 /greensolutions420

UPCOMING EVENTS ABSOLUTE XTRACTS 3/30 - 3-6PM

BLOOM FARMS 4/6 - 3-7PM

XTERNAL 4/7 - 3-7PM

The Premier

DISPENSARY EXPERIENCE D i ve r s e S e l e c t i o n • L a rg e C B D Va r i e t y • K n ow l e d g e a b l e St a f f Convenient Location • Easy Parking

2 10 0 2 9 t h St r e et • 9 1 6 . 8 2 2 . 5 6 9 9

O P E N 7 D AY S A W E E K 1 0 A . M . T O 8 P. M .

03.30.17 | SN&R | 53

SN&R’s

Has Medical Marijuana iMproved Your life?

Capital Cannabis Guide is looking for stories of people whose lives have been positively impacted by the use of medical marijuana.

Thanks for tuning in once again to another spectacular program.

On today’s show we are talking with our guest about the benefits of working out while high.

Contact editor Michelle Carl at michellec@newsreview.com to share your story.

I’m feeling strong because I consumed a medicated protein drink before I did my monthly 10 push-ups today.

Only 10 push-ups all month? That’s not going to do anything!

That’s right, now everything he does could be considered a muscle building activity.. like coughing.

THIS COMIC BREAK HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

NEW VIDEOS

5 DAYS A WEEK

SAturDAy

HANGOUT WITH US! 916.750.0420 BUDMANANDBOOGER

eighth SpeciAl with any $40 min donation

Never Rushed.

Always Organic.

munchie monDAyS ........buy any 2 edibles get 1 (free of equal or lesser value)

DAI LY SPEC IALS EVERY WEEKDAY

top Shelf tueSDAyS ....FEB. ONLY $10 off all top shelf 1/8ths, $250 cap on all top shelf oz wAxy weDneSDAyS......buy 3 top-shelf full melt for only $90 hAShtAg thurSDAy ......all bubble hash is only $15 per gram free j friDAy ..................get a free joint with any $10 min donation SunDAy funDAy ..............4 gram 1/8ths all day

Text RHOUSE to 71441 to receive offers, gifts, specials and more.

Cannot be combined with other offers. Strain determined by HHWC. Expires 04/05/17.

SS gle

hin

50

Rd

d k RParking on

c ro

4020 Durock rD, Ste 1 • Shingle SpringS, cA (916) 757–0980 • open monday – friday 10am to 8pm • saturday 10am to 8pm • sunday 10am to 6pm Du

OPEN EVERY DAY 9AM-7PM

Oakmont Drive

Compliant with California Proposition 215, S.B. 420 & Attorney General Guidelines. Must have doctor’s reccomendation and California ID to join.

54 | SN&R | 03.30.17

GIF TS FOR NEW PATIENTS & REFERRALS!

8848 FRUI TRIDGE RD | SAC RAMENTO | 91 6.381.3769

WATT AVE.

EL CAMINO AVE.

FULTON AVE.

ARDEN WY.

21 ST ST.

16 TH ST.

1

19

11 7

AUBURN BLVD.

HAZEL AVE.

RALEY BLVD.

NORTHGATE BLVD.

25

160 60 18

C ST.

GREENBACK LN.

80

26 24

12

WHITE ROCK RD. J ST.

17

5

2

50

FAIR OAKS BLVD.

4

80

13

FOLSOM BLVD.

6 FRUITRIDGE RD.

15

24TH ST

3. A THERAPEUTIC ALTERNATIVE 3015 H St

22

99 FLORIN RD.

23

14 20

9 8

16 FLORIN PERKINS

2. 515 BROADWAY 515 Broadway

3

POWER INN RD.

1. 1841 EL CAMINO 1841 El Camino

5 12 Th ST.

CAPITAL CANNABIS MAP

21

10

4. ABATIN 2100 29th St

12. HIGHLANDS HEALTH & WELLNESS 4020 Durock Rd

5. ALL ABOUT WELLNESS 1900 19th St

13. HORIZON COLLECTIVE 3600 Power Inn Rd

20. S.A.S. 8125 36th Ave

6. ALPINE ALTERNATIVE 8112 Alpine Ave

14. HOUSE OF ORGANICS 8848 Fruitridge Rd

21. SAFE CAPITOL COMPASSION 135 Main Ave

7. AMC 1220 Blumenfeld Dr

15. FLORIN WELLNESS CENTER 421 47th Ave

22. SOUTH SAC CARE CENTER 114 A Otto Circle

8. CC 101 6435 Florin Perkins Rd

16. GREEN DOOR METRO 6492 Florin Perkins Rd

23. THC 6666 Fruitridge

9. CLOUD 9 5711 Florin Perkins Rd

17. GREEN SOLUTIONS 1404 28th St

24. TWO RIVERS 315 N 10th St

10. DOCTOR’S ORDERS 1704 Main Ave

18. NORTHSTAR HOLISTIC COLLECTIVE 1236 C St

25. VALLEY HEALTH OPTIONS 1421 Auburn Blvd

11. GOLDEN HEALTH & WELLNESS 1030 Joellis Way

19. RIVER CITY PHOENIX 1508 El Camino Ave

26. ZEN GARDEN WELLNESS 2201 Northgate Blvd 03.30.17 | SN&R | 55

SN&R’s

04/05/17

THE 420 cElEbraTion parTy • 04.19.17 music • food • frEE gifTs brought to you by

@ Florin Wellness C enter , 1421 47th Ave , sAC r Amento, CA

56 | SN&R | 03.30.17

03.30.17 | SN&R | 57

SN&R’s

58 | SN&R | 03.30.17

FRee will aStRology

by Enid Spitz

by ROb bREzSny

FOR THE WEEk OF MARCH 30, 2017 ARIES (March 21-April 19): The dragon that

stole your treasure will return it. Tulips and snapdragons will blossom in a field you thought was a wasteland. Gargoyles from the abyss will crawl into view, but then meekly lick your hand and reveal secrets you can really use. The dour troll that guards the bridge to the Next Big Thing will let you pass even though you don’t have the password. April fool! Everything I just described is only metaphorically true, not literally.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to legend, Buddha had to face daunting tests to achieve enlightenment. A diabolical adversary tempted him with sensual excesses and assailed him with vortexes of blistering mud, flaming ice and howling rocks. Happily, Buddha glided into a state of wise calm and triumphed over the mayhem. He converted his nemesis’ vortexes into bouquets of flowers and celestial ointments. What does this have to do with you? In accordance with current astrological omens, I hope you will emulate Buddha as you deal with your own initiatory tests.

April fool! I wasn’t completely honest. It’s true you’ll face initiatory tests that could prod you to a higher level of wisdom. But they’ll most likely come from allies and inner prompts rather than a diabolical adversary.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Since I expect you’ll

soon be tempted to indulge in too much debauched fun and riotous release, I’ll offer you a good hangover remedy. Throw these ingredients into a blender, then drink up: a thousand-year-old quail egg from China, seaweed from Antarctica, milk from an Iraqi donkey, lemon juice imported from Kazakhstan and a dab of Argentinian toothpaste on which the moon has shone for an hour.

April fool! I deceived you. You won’t have to get crazy drunk or stoned to enjoy extreme pleasure and cathartic abandon. It will come to you quite naturally—especially if you expand your mind through travel, big ideas or healthy experiments.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Hire a promoter

to create gold plaques listing your accomplishments and hang them up in public places. Or pay someone to make a thousand bobblehead dolls in your likeness, each wearing a royal crown, and give them away to everyone you know. Or enlist a pilot to fly a small plane over a sporting event while trailing a banner that reads, “[Your name] is a gorgeous genius worthy of worshipful reverence.” April fool! What I just advised was a distorted interpretation of the cosmic omens.

Here’s the truth: The best way to celebrate your surging power is not by reveling in frivolous displays of pride, but rather by making a bold move that will render a fantastic dream ten percent more possible for you to accomplish.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Endangered species: black

rhino, Bornean orangutan, hawksbill turtle, South China tiger, Sumatran elephant and the Leo messiah complex. You may not be able to do much to preserve the first five on that list, but please get to work on saving the last. It’s time for a massive eruption of your megalomania. April fool! I was exaggerating for effect. There’s no need to go overboard in reclaiming your messiah complex.

But please do take strong action to stoke your self-respect, self-esteem and confidence.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Race through your

yoga routine so you have more time to surf the internet. Inhale doughnuts and vodka in the car as you race to the health food store. Get into a screaming fight with a loved one about how you desperately need more peace and tenderness.

April fool! A little bit of self-contradiction would be cute, but not that much. And yet I do worry that you are close to expressing that much. The problem may be that you haven’t been giving your inner rebel any high-quality mischief to attend to. As a result, it’s bogged down in trivial insurrections. So please give your inner rebel more important work to do.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Research shows that

a typical working couple devotes an average of four minutes per day in meaningful conversations. I suggest you boost that output by at least 10 percent. Try to engage your best companion in four minutes and 24 seconds of intimate talk per day. April fool! I lied. A 10 percent increase isn’t nearly enough. Given the current astrological

indicators, you must seek out longer and deeper exchanges with the people you love. Can you manage 20 minutes per day?

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In a way, it’s too

bad you’re about to lose your mind. The chaos that ensues will be a big chore to clean up. But in another sense, losing your mind may be a lucky development. The process of reassembling it will be entertaining and informative. And as a result, your problems will become more fascinating than usual, and your sins will be especially original.

April fool! I lied, sort of. You won’t really lose your mind. But this much is true: Your problems will be more fascinating than usual, and your sins will be especially original. That’s a good thing! It may even help you recover a rogue part of your mind that you lost a while back.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): You say that

some of the healthiest foods don’t taste good?

And that some of your pleasurable diversions seem to bother people you care about? You say it’s too much hassle to arrange for a certain adventure that you know would be exciting and meaningful? Here’s what I have to say about all that: Stop whining. April fool! I lied. The truth is, there will soon be far fewer reasons for you to whine. The discrepancies between what you have to do and what you want to do will at least partially dissolve. So will the gaps between what’s good for you and what feels good, and between what pleases others and what pleases you.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): You should

begin work on a book with one of the following titles, and you should finish writing it no later than April 28: “The Totally Intense Four Weeks of My Life When I Came All the Way Home”…

“The Wildly Productive Four Weeks of My Life when I Discovered the Ultimate Secrets of Domestic Bliss” … “The Crazily Meaningful Four Weeks When I Permanently Anchored Myself in the Nourishing Depths.” April fool! I lied. There’s no need to actually write a book like that. But I do hope you seek out and generate experiences that would enable you to write books with those titles.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you were a pas-

senger on a plane full of your favorite celebrities, and the pilot had to make an emergency landing on a remote snowbound mountain, and you had to eat one of the celebrities in order to stay alive until rescuers found you, which celebrity would you want to eat first? April fool! That was a really stupid and pointless question. I can’t believe I asked it. I hope you didn’t waste a nanosecond thinking about what your reply might be. Here’s the truth, Aquarius: You’re in a phase of your astrological cycle when the single most important thing you can do is ask and answer really good questions.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): You now have

an elevated chance of finding a crumpled $1 bill on a sidewalk. There’s also an increased likelihood you’ll get a coupon for a 5 percent discount from a carpet shampoo company, or win enough money in the lottery to buy a new sweatshirt. To enhance these possibilities, all you have to do is sit on your ass and wish really hard that good economic luck will come your way. April fool! What I just said was kind of true, but also useless. Here’s more interesting news: The odds are better than average that you’ll score tips on how to improve your finances. You may also be invited to collaborate on a potentially lucrative project, or receive an offer of practical help for a bread-and-butter dilemma. To encourage these outcomes, all you have to do is develop a long-term plan for improved money management.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18+. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

Warhol in a dress Some say art mimics life. Or is it the other way around? Either way, Michelle Satterlee is killin’ it. The curator and marketing maven at Sacramento’s Elliott Fouts Gallery first bought a dress to match a painting at the opening of Micah Crandall-Bear’s show four years ago. Since then, #dressedtomatch has grown a following on Instagram, Satterlee is Sacramento-famous for her wardrobe at artsy events, and submissions are rolling in on her Dressed to Match blog. The 29-yearold wears Missoni to SFMOMA and Jimmy Choos to the Crocker.

Satterlee’s latest goal is to match the many new murals around town, but in between shopping and artspotting, she sat down in the gallery to talk about how art mimics life.

How did you get involved in the fine art world?

I’ve been working at the gallery [Elliott Fouts] since 2004. When I started in high school it was a clerical job, then I went to UC Davis, got my art history degree, and when I came back I started working full time. Elliott is my stepdad, my dad is a commercial photographer here in Sacramento, and my mom is a hairdresser, which is an art form in itself, so art has always been encouraged in my family. I wanted to study something that I loved at Davis. I took a couple of economics and accounting classes and it was very clear from the start that that was not a direction I wanted to go in, nor was I good at it.

Favorite destination for art?

Anywhere in Europe you’re going to find things that are iconic. Like David. You can’t move him. There’s something so gratifying about seeing a piece that you’ve studied in person. It’s like it’s shimmering!

Do you think Sacramento has a certain artistic brand?

Yes, I think it’s rooted in our landscape.

Look at the two artists that have had the biggest impact on our arts scene, Wayne Thiebaud and Greg Kondos, and you see our geography in Northern California.

Here at the gallery, I can see how his influence has pervaded everyone else’s work. People want to create a thumbprint for our area. With Thiebaud, it’s amazing to go somewhere else in the country and see these priceless pieces knowing that he painted them right here, either in his Land Park studio or in Midtown.

PHOTO BY SHOKA

What inspired you to start dressing to match art?

It was a fluke. I was looking very last-minute for a dress for an opening four years ago. I saw a dress almost identical to a piece we had in the Micah Crandall-Bear show and I had to get it. People kept asking, “Did you know that you match that?” Um, yes. It was such a fun, kitschy, silly thing to do, but it really got people excited. The next year, people were expecting me to do it again. By the third year, people were looking forward to it.

How do you find these dresses that match so well?

For me, it’s the challenge of finding the needle in a haystack. When I’m shopping online, I either look specifically for a piece I want to match or with my art history knowledge, if I see something reminiscent of an art style, I can find a piece to match it to.

Best stores for finding matches?

and this is the ultimate passion project that challenges me. It involves something I’m crazy about, art, and I get to bring other people into that.

By putting fine art on Instagram you’re also making it more accessible. Is that the point?

A lot of galleries, like SFMOMA and the Hirshhorn in D.C., have done a really good job of encouraging young people to come in and do whatever weird poses they want with the art. All of the images we’re bombarded with almost make these paintings commonplace. We’re so used to seeing them, but we have to remind ourselves what the interaction would’ve been like for people who were contemporaries of the painting. They wouldn’t have been posing with them. They would have been in awe and aghast. It’s funny to see people now engaging with the work in such a different way … like selfies.

What’s your dream art to match?

Anthropologie definitely has unique items, and that’s what I’m looking for. The art is so innovative or specific that you’re normally not going to find a match unless it’s high-end.

I would love to go to New York City just to match. I’ve been there, but not under the umbrella of Dressed to Match. I’m also on a mission to match all the new murals we got in Sacramento. Ω

Do you consider yourself a fashionista?

Absolutely not. Through this, I’ve learned what styles fit my body type. When I find something, I’m not trying it on for a good fit.

It it works, it works; if it doesn’t, you make it work. I’m very motivated by challenges,

Keep up with Michelle Satterlee’s latest matches at http://dressedtomatch.com.

03.30.17 | SN&R | 59

ALL AGES WELCOME!

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95811 • www.aceofspadessac.com FRIDAY, MARCH 31

SATURDAY, APRIL 1

SUNDAY, APRIL 2

TUESDAY, APRIL 4

THURSDAY, APRIL 6

FRIDAY, APRIL 7

SATURDAY, APRIL 8

SUNDAY, APRIL 9

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12

FRIDAY, APRIL 14

SUNDAY, APRIL 16

MONDAY, APRIL 17

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12

Chet Porter - Trace

Dylan Schneider

Tickets available at all Dimple Records, and www.aceofspadessac.com

COMING SOON 03/30 Leftover Crack 04/05 NF Sold Out! 04/13 Tech N9ne Sold Out! 04/18 Oh Wonder Sold Out! 04/20 Granger Smith 04/21 Katchafire 04/22 Jimmy Eat World Sold Out! 04/24 LANY 04/25 Kehlani Sold Out! 04/28 & 29 Mooonshine Bandits 05/04 D.R.I. 05/05 Mod Sun 05/11 Real Friends 05/14 Enanitos Verdes 05/16 Blue October 05/19 Never Shout Never 05/26 JJ Grey & Mofro 05/27 Jack Russell’s Great White 05/30 Twiztid 05/31 T.I. 06/03 Somo