S-2013-05-16

Livestock auctions, mom dates, chili dogs— oh yeah, we’re going there

Sacramento’S newS & entertainment weekly

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Volume 25, iSSue 05

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thurSday, may 16, 2013

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SN&R | 05.16.13

May 16, 2013 | vol. 25, issue 05

400 I learned the news last Thursday, on light rail, just as the Meadowviewbound train veered from K Street onto Seventh: For the first time ever, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere had reached 400 parts per million.

The landmark measurement—taken from atop the Mauna Loa volcano on Hawaii’s big island—was later corrected to 399.89. But anyone who gives a damn about the planet heard the message: Residents of Earth just can’t quit. Cars, planes, plastic, coal, oil, fossil fuels—we’re junkies.

Time for an intervention.

When it comes to CO2 atmospheric levels, the number 400 is an opportunity. Environmental activists want to drop down to 350 (there’s a website, www.350.org), but that’s absolutely not the trend, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, which measured the big 400 last Thursday, May 9. It says CO2 levels are up by nearly 6 percent in the last decade; other scientists cite greater digits.

I realize it’s hard to see or understand the number 400 in our everyday lives. We can’t sit down, crack open a cold beer and discern changes in plant photosynthesis.

And, of course, there are so many other things—the Sacramento Kings arena, your Facebook feed, Mom’s brunch, Dad’s Giants game—that preoccupy.

But if we continue to torch the planet’s coal and tar sands, climatologists predict frightful real-world scenarios. Now. Unpredictable, extreme, dangerous weather. Food and water scarcity. Uninhabitable regions. Rising tides. All that stuff.

And then, perhaps in your childrens’ childrens’ lifetime, a possible “runaway greenhouse effect.” Google it, it’s scary stuff.

So, 400—it’s about legacy. Ours.

On this planet.

Sometimes, I fear it’s too late.

Hopefully, I’m wrong.

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BUILDING A

HEALTHY S A C R A M E N T O

A Better Approach to School Discipline

BY CLAUDIA MOSBY

M

any schools have adopted zero tolerance policies to administer swift discipline when students violate a rule, such as bringing a gun to school or using drugs on campus. But zero tolerance school policies produce a cascade of negative effects: poorer quality education, higher dropout rates, and increased risk of involvement with the juvenile justice system, according to a recent report by The Civil Rights Project at UCLA.

“WE SEE TOO OFTEN SCHOOLS THAT ARE SYSTEMICALLY OUT OF ALIGNMENT WHEN IT COMES TO DISCIPLINE.” –Darryl White Black Parallel School Board chairman

to the Sacramento City Unified School District board, providing parents with a voice and vehicle for holding the district accountable on issues of concern.

“Principals aren’t trained to develop strong programs and usually maintain the management system they inherit when they get their first principalship.”

For instance, White says zero tolerance policies disproportionally affect student groups based on their race. “AfricanAmericans are at the lowest levels of [academic performance in] statewide, district-wide and school-wide data,” White adds. Sacramento City Unified School District suspension data reported to the California Department of Education would seem to confirm his assertion: 42 percent of AfricanAmerican students received out-ofschool (at home) willful defiance suspensions compared with 11 percent of white students in the 2011-2012 school year.

White and Black Parallel School Board Secretary Carl Pinkston are now training principals within the district on understanding the negative impacts of zero tolerance policies while challenging stakeholders to review suspension and expulsion data and re-examine the school’s student management system.

“We see too often schools that are systemically out of alignment when it comes to discipline,” White says.

“We want them to ask two important questions,” White says. “First, ‘Do we like the results we are seeing relative to referrals, suspensions and expulsions?’

And second, ‘What would we like to see?’ The difference between these two questions becomes the work.”

Critical to success is a school’s understanding of how to work effectively with different ethnic and

“Zero tolerance doesn’t work. It’s never worked,” says Black Parallel School Board Chairman Darryl White. “The interpretation is broad and principals will respond differently given the same situation.” The board is working with The California Endowment to examine alternatives to California law, thereby reducing the negative impact of zero tolerance on students and their families.

cultural groups. “We’ve developed affinity groups – African-American, Native American, Southeast Asian, and Latino to zero in on why a disproportionate number of certain student groups are being suspended or expelled,” Pinkston says. “We’re looking for solutions. It’s not a cookiecutter approach.”

BUILDING HEALTHY COMMUNITIES In 2010, The California Endowment launched a 10-year, $1 billion plan to improve the health of 14 challenged communities across the state. Over the 10 years, residents, community-based organizations and public institutions will work together to address the socioeconomic and environmental challenges contributing to the poor health of their communities.

Chairman Darryl White, left, and Secretary Carl Pinkston, right, discuss education during a recent Black Parallel School Board meeting in Sacramento.

Photo by Tara Patrick

Although the board was convened to address the quality of education for black students, White says his group helps all students by running “parallel”

www.SacBHC.org

PAID WITH A GRANT FROM THE CALIFORNIA ENDOWMENT 4

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SN&R | 05.16.13

“I am addicted to these cookies called ThinAddictives.”

Asked at Madison Avenue and Fair Oaks Boulevard:

What is your secret guilty pleasure?

Brandon Brizzee

Jan Meckley

Tara Cederlind

retail assistant manager

ice-cream scooper

Scotch. Definitely got to be scotch. There are a lot of them, but Johnnie Walker is pretty consistent.

Since it is not exactly a cheap hobby, that’s kind of the guilty-pleasure part, I guess.

I guess my guilty pleasure would be my cat obsession.

They’re so adorable and fluffy! All of my life I have had a cat. When the cat runs away, I say, “We need another cat.” I like pictures of cats. I have a cat now.

She is an indoor cat. We call her Fatty, because she is rather fat, but that makes her fun to cuddle with.

business owner

I am addicted to these cookies called ThinAddictives.

I actually sat down and ate five boxes of them the other night while watching all of the murder mysteries.

I am addicted to the horror-movie murders.

[They’re my] other secret guilty pleasure.

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Foot fetish—no, I mean, baking [Nestlé] Toll House cookies. I bake as many as I want because I am single and I live alone. [I bake them] at night around 10 o’clock. Once they are all hot and perfect the way I like them, I take a frozen glass out of the freezer and fill it with milk, and I dip those babies in there.

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Brian Bundy

student

Sleep. I love sleep. I guess my secret guilty pleasure is sleep. When I have free time, I just want to sleep.

truck driver

I found [out] about the Kentucky Derby racing [that was on] Saturday.

I snuck out to the track, and I played a $20 exacta box and hit exacta for $900.

That’s my guilty pleasure, because I am not supposed to be doing it, and I did it anyways.

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Email your letters to sactoletters@newsreview.com.

Bites’ arena agnosticism ‘absurd’

Hopefully, we may have stopped, at least temporarily, the revolving door of sports franchises, where a city and its people who have faithfully supported a team through thick and thin for nearly three decades get raped with impunity.

Too bad you NIMBYs won’t join in the celebration.

Re “It’s your money” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Bites, May 2): I’m glad to see you are an “agnostic” on the proposed arena. I’d sure hate to think what you would say if you were opposed to it. Here’s one example: “It won’t create new jobs, except for saving the jobs of a few letter of sportswriters.” Are the week you telling us that a major redevelopment of the downtown area, with an estimated value of $1 billion, won’t bring new jobs, new businesses and new revenue for the city? That is absurd.

This isn’t just about the Kings. The new facility will be open more than 300 days a year, while the Kings play 40 home games a year. Also, you somehow think it is wrong to take a highly successful project like L.A. Live and adapt it to Sacramento.

That also makes no sense. Why shouldn’t we copy something that works?

And let’s not forget that we’re talking about a $1 billion redevelopment at a cost of about $250 million. That is a return on investment of 400 percent. Even jaded Wall Street investors would drool over that kind of agreement. Do the math.

Reserve] buying up mortgage-backed securities. The Fed is driving stock prices, real estate and every other bubble. The question is: How long can this charade last?

Companies are downsizing, but on Wall Street, they are reporting higher profits, yet there is no real manufacturing or production happening to create these profit margins.

Jobs play into the housing market, because if employees are laid off, they lose their homes.

In addition to all this mess, I read in Matt Taibbi’s Rolling Stone article last month that inventory was purposely being held down to create an illusion of rising home prices. If someone tells you that companies on Wall Street have great numbers to report, that is because companies are buying back their own stock to make it appear attractive to investors. I don’t know how much detail you focus on when it comes to the overall economy, but I would love to see some reporting on all these factors that tie into our Sacramento region. It is hard to find real journalists that actually report what is going on around us, and SN&R has once again done excellent reporting. Kudos to all of your journalists for a job very well-done.

Steve Mehlman

Sa c ra m e nt o

Housing-market charades Re “Housing Bubble 2”by Raheem F. Hosseini (SN&R Feature Story, May 2): Just wanted to compliment you on writing this great article for Sacramento.

It is right-on, and I have been calling this a new bubble since I found out how much investors are buying up homes and turning them into rentals. I do not believe this market will hold, because the same thing on Wall Street is happening.

Blackstone Group LP, who is buying up large amounts of real estate, is borrowing money to do this. This was posted in the Financial Times recently.

Our biggest threat is corporate debt and consumer debt, which are at all-time highs.

Though there are many investors with their own cash, many corporations are borrowing the money. In addition, this housing bubble has all to do with the [U.S. Federal

oNliNe buzz

On whether SacramentO ShOuld lift itS big-bOx-StOre ban:

Those of us who live in Downtown/Midtown need to buy the same essentials as everyone else. I can’t think of a single place where I can buy a TV or stereo in Midtown; can you? How about kitchen appliances? Or just plain old basic underwear?

Do you think just because I live in Midtown I should have to choose between no underwear or super-expensive stuff?

Karen Campbell

v ia fa c e b o o k I am against big-box stores. The smaller stores actually care about their customers. The big chains only care about profit. @Johnywithonen

Patricia Dalessandro via email

@SacNewsReview

Facebook.com/ SacNewsReview

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Copyright © UC Regents, Davis campus, 2012. All Rights Reserved.

WHAT DO YOU SEE? We see your vision for a healthier future.

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Mooning, Marcos, money See SCOREKEEPER

See BITES

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Jerry’s water ride See EDITORIAL

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Blowing it Sacramento’s bomb squads are busier than ever—but mostly with false alarms It’s early spring, and Sgt. Scott Hyatt stands at the door of a nice Carmichael couple’s home, by decked out in swampy protective gear. The Raheem wife found a mysterious package on her F. Hosseini doorstep and, spurred by a neighbor, called the cops when she couldn’t identify it. The ra h e emh@ newsr evie w.c om cops called Hyatt.

The supervisor of the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department bomb squad, Hyatt and his seven-man team did what they do best. They set up a perimeter, interviewed witnesses and subjected the package to inconclusive X-rays. Seeing two cylindrical objects and what looked like a timer, his explosive ordnance detail played it safe and blasted the parcel with a highpower water cannon.

Of the 22 calls Hyatt’s team investi“We welcome that kind of work,” As soon as it went up, Hyatt saw the gated in April, five involved live devices.

Morse told SN&R. “If we can get out there splintered fragments of “two bottles of what One of the bogus calls concerned a and verify it’s safe, that’s a good day.” looked to be very good wine.”

15-year-old girl who left an old suitcase in a The city squad averaged 47 suspiciousThe wife forgot she and her husband store aisle at Sunrise Mall in Citrus Heights. device calls in the last two years. And recently joined a wine-of-the-month club.

A week later, the 24 Hour Fitness in Gold despite this year’s small uptick, it’s still a No one risked moving the package River was shut down for three hours as big drop from 2004-2006, when the police before calling the unit, or else they might EOD officers swept the spacious gym. squad averaged more than 100 incidents. have spotted the label on the bottom.

And bomb squads are making more trips But not all “suspicious packages” end “And so that happens,” Hyatt told to coffeehouses—not for caffeine, but to up being harmless, and the public rarely SN&R. “You blow someone’s stuff up, and dispose of transients’ forgotten backpacks. hears about cases in which disaster is they go, ‘Aah.’ averted.

“We’ve killed sex toys, too.”

In one open sheriff’s case in More so now, it seems. Ever since “We’ve killed Orangevale, a 17-year-old called his two brothers allegedly planted homemade ex-girlfriend and tried to lure her out of the sex toys, too.” explosives in a deadly attack at the Boston house when he set off a small device that Marathon last month, people are more damaged her garage. When the blast went Sgt. Scott Hyatt suspicious of unlabeled packages and unatoff, Hyatt said the suspect laughed into the supervisor tended backpacks—even when they contain phone. The minor was arrested for assault Sacramento County Sheriff’s wine, vibrators or nothing much at all. with a deadly weapon, and would have Department’s explosive ordnance detail “Of course, after the Boston bombing, been charged with attempted murder if the our calls for service have gone sky-high,” girl had stepped outside. shared Hyatt, whose Carmichael-based Each call out—valid or not—can be a Following an elder-abuse arrest in Galt, team rolls out to all of Sacramento County time suck resulting in evacuated homes, the squad was called out to the house when but the capital city itself. The Sacramento blocked-off streets and diverted traffic. officers spotted chemicals and cut-up pipes Police Department has its own bomb squad, “While we don’t consider them an in a backyard shed. The victim told authorias does the California Highway Patrol, inconvenience to handle, they can definitely ties his grandson was an anti-government which investigates suspicious devices in present an inconvenience to people in the zealot who talked of shooting rockets into state buildings and on highways. community,” said Sacarmento County the White House. It took seven hours to The police bomb squad has experienced Sheriff’s spokesman Sgt. Jason Ramos. clear the scene and determine that the only a slight increase in calls this year, But no one wants to make that small shed’s contents weren’t yet weaponized. said department spokesman Officer Doug mistake that costs lives—even if the only “He was probably trying to make Morse, most of them attributed to what the casualty ends up being someone’s pride. some [explosives], but was so bad at it he unit calls “activities”: pre-emptively sweepAn apartment complex off Center couldn’t,” Hyatt said. ing events, chaperoning dignitaries and Parkway in the Valley Hi/North Laguna Last year, the EOD arrested a convicted loaning its robot out to aid in SWAT-led area was evacuated May 1, when a landfelon who had 9 grams of high-explosive suspect searches. scaping crew found what ended up being powder dipped in glue and nails, not unlike According to Hyatt, the sheriff’s squad a hoax device. The police EOD is still what went off in Boston. The man also is on pace to respond to 250 calls this investigating. had a stash of assault weapons he had been year—20 percent more than last year— The unit handled four callouts in April, concealing from law enforcement. Hyatt most of which will come during the busy one of which concerned a replica grenade a has no doubt this “very odd dude” would summer months. The increase is almost all jogger found in a black bag in a park near have used the device as a weapon against false alarms.

K Street. anyone he perceived as doing him wrong.

B E F O R E | N E W S | B E S T O F T H E B U R B S | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R |

ILLUSTRATION BY JASON CROSBY

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Old Sac gunfight

The Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department’s bomb squad is on pace to respond to 250 calls in 2013—up 20 percent from last year.

“That would either have killed or maimed the hell out of them,” Hyatt said of the unsophisticated yet deadly device.

The suspect in that open case had an “affinity” for methamphetamine, Hyatt added. Many low-rent bomb makers do, it turns out.

“Ask any bomb squad around the state—meth addicts, they like making pipe bombs,” Hyatt said.

So do white men. Hyatt has trouble recalling an instance when an arrestee wasn’t a male Caucasian, not to mention a really devoted one.

“We’ve had some pretty good cases with white-power guys in that whole area,” Hyatt said of eastern Sacramento neighborhoods Citrus Heights and Orangevale.

There have also been a good number of service calls in Rancho Cordova this year.

Closer to the Fourth of July, the squad will be hopping all over the county chasing illegal fireworks and homemade brews.

Most loud blasts come from “people who probably just want to blow something up,” Hyatt said.

The Internet has been a boon to these do-it-yourself demolitionists.

Hyatt came into the game when the Internet was already a thing, so he can’t speculate about what bomb-making was like prior to 2000. But the kids building their own chemical-reaction bombs from YouTube videos and items from the 99¢ Only Store give him pause.

Last year, two Rio Americano High School students filmed themselves setting off one of these drain-cleaner-powered explosives during lunch. Hyatt’s team identified the perpetrators from the video the masterminds uploaded.

“It was pretty easy to find out who did it,” Hyatt cracked. Ω 05.16.13 | SN&R | 9

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CAN YOU STAND

N I G H T C L U B

THE HEAT THIS SUMMER?

Sacramento’s winners and losers—with arbitrary points

Sacto’s ‘fiscal cliff’ This year’s city budget deficit is only $8.9 million. But the city manager warned council during last week’s meeting that Sacto will face its own “fiscal cliff” in just over five years: a $17 million surge in the city’s pension-fund obligation in 2019, the expiration of $25 million in Measure U sales taxes the year before.

That’s $42 million—and they neglected to mention the debt obligation for the shiny new arena (approximately $15 million). How to pay for it all? “Revenue from the shiny new arena,” to paraphrase some council members.

- 57 million

Mystery butt

More fees

Sacramento police are investigating a moonlit stroll that occurred Saturday night in a south-area suburb, where an unidentified man got out of a silver sedan and showed his naked butt to a passing 14-year-old boy. The youth smartly kept trucking until he was inside his friend’s house. Unfortunately, the creep followed, dropping his pants again outside. What an ass.

Remember when stalkers would just hold up Peter Gabriel-playing boom boxes? Those were the days.

Sorry, bunny lovers: It will now cost $10 more to adopt a rabbit in the city. This, according to proposed new fees set to be approved by city council this past Tuesday. Other cost changes include increased fees for licensing an altered dog, but new charges are 50 percent off if your dog—or even pig—keeps its testicles. Hmm.

- 36, 24 and 36

-2

Twitter grudge Bitter much, Marcos Breton?

Not only has The Sacramento Bee columnist blocked SN&R co-editor Nick Miller on Twitter, now he’s lashing out at KHTK 1140 AM on social media. After the Maloofs announced they’d never sell the Kings to the Sacramento group this weekend, Breton tweeted: “Soon, there should be a reckoning for how KHTK backed the Maloofs.” Way to go, Scoopy.

That’s some shocking news flash: The local sports radio-station deejays are Kings homers!

- 1,140

Poor Natomas City council can approve a new Kings arena plan in less than three days, but Natomasites will have to wait until January 2015 for a postarena blueprint to hit planningcommission desks. Too bad, Natomas. There’s always Hooters.

- 95,833

Life on an empty stomach

BEATS

Cop ‘Tweetalong’ On Friday night, the Sacramento County Sheriff’s Department went absolutely Twitter-happy during its first-ever “Tweetalong.”

During a roughly four-hour patrol aboard one of the department’s three Eurocopter-EC120s, a swift-thumbed deputy posted a hundred tweets, photos and videos to the department’s Twitter account, @sacsheriff. Vehicles were pursued, homicides were investigated and questions were answered. (Apparently, the air-support unit prefers being called “STAR”—short for “Sheriff’s Tactical Air Resource”— to “ghetto bird.”)

A videotaped foot chase of a man supposedly armed with an ax ended with this dry capper of a tweet: “The suspect couldn’t outrun a helicopter. He is being taken into custody.” Now that’s how you spell sarcasm in less than 140 characters.

The virtual ride-along was the perfect compromise for an easily airsick journalist and chopper unit that doesn’t allow civilians on board, and it helped the department reach 7,000 rollowers (or what Justin Bieber gets every time he sneezes). (Raheem F. Hosseini)

New documentary looks at why hunger is a political condition Few are aware that one out of every two U.S. children ends up on food assistance at some point growing up. That’s why, by as part of Hunger Action Week, the Dave Kempa Sacramento Hunger Coalition is hostdavek@ ing a screening and panel discussion new sre view.c om of A Place at the Table next week at the Crest Theatre, where the film will again screen later this month. SN&R spoke with Kristi Jacobson, one of the film’s directors, to discuss the nation’s rampant hunger epidemic.

Right away in your film, you drive home one point: Hunger in the United States is not a scarcity issue, but a poverty issue.

As you know, America is one of the wealthiest nations in the world. We have plenty of food and resources and infrastructure so that all people living here could be food secure. Instead, we have 50 million people who suffer from food insecurity.

When we set out to make this film, we just thought, “There’s hunger, it’s affecting every single county and every single community, yet nobody’s really talking about it.” It seems to be invisible. Why? How is this possible?

In the process of making this film, we discovered rather quickly that it’s a political condition rather than one of scarcity of food.

Read a longer version of this interview online at www.news review.com.

As part of Hunger Action Week, the Sacramento Hunger Coaltion presents a showing of A Place at the Table with a panel discussion on Tuesday, May 21, at the Crest Theatre at 1013 K Street. See https:// sachousingalliance. webconnex.com/a_ place_at_the_table for details. The film will also be screened on Wednesday, May 29, and Thursday, May 30, at the Crest; check www.thecrest. com for show times.

Sacramento County is home to the capital of the eighth-largest economy in the world. And yet almost 220,000 of this city’s residents suffer from food insecurity. Where is the disconnect? How can this be?

“How can this be,” I believe, is a function of a lack of political will to mandate that our politicians address this issue head-on. We’ve seen that, in the past, when the problem was brought to the public’s attention—with the 1968 documentary Hunger in America—it made the average American aware of the problem. People were outraged, and they directed that outrage toward the government taking responsibility and providing solutions.

Independent reporting for this story is funded by a grant from Sacramento Emergency Foodlink.

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A Place at the Table co-director Kristi Jacobson says federal legislation and open dialogue will help end the nation’s hunger problem and remove the stigma associated with food assistance.

Hunger isn’t a sexy issue, is it? It’s hard to get people to rally behind something that’s kind of this silent, difficult-to-convey problem.

There are two prongs to this issue: One is that it’s invisible. And even more than invisible, it’s in some ways hidden in the bodies of obese people, in the obesity epidemic. It’s almost covered up, in some ways.

And then, as you said, maybe it’s not a sexy issue.

Hopefully, with this film, we’re engaging the electorate so that they can no longer say, “I didn’t know.”

Once you’re a witness to the devastating, lifelong consequences that hunger has on a child, that they carry with them for the rest of their lives—are you OK with that? Here, in America?

That 17 million kids, at any given moment, are experiencing that and will carry that with them for the rest of their lives?

You take pretty big issue in the film with a guy who used to work in our town: Ronald Reagan.

I want to say that we recognized early in our research that both the Democratic and Republican parties haven’t acted in several decades to address this issue and ones related to it.

What happened in the ’80s—and remember, this began with Reagan, and it continued as a pattern over many decades—the funding for these programs was cut. ... We’re actually finding ourselves in a very similar place right now. We’re not out of the hardships that began in 2008. Many

Shameless listicles families are still struggling to put food on the table.

Sacramento County recently said that we’ve got almost 91 percent of those eligible signed up for CalFresh.

Wow, that’s great.

Yeah, but once people get signed up for CalFresh, there’s still this issue of how do we give them access to healthier foods, and how do we make it so that people will want to make the decision to buy it? As you said in the film, $3 of fresh fruit and vegetables gets you a lot less food than $3 of Top Ramen.

That is one of the biggest challenges right now. Any parent [struggling] to feed their kids is probably going to make the latter decision. One meal today vs. five meals this week is a tough call to make. I think it’s a combination of addressing farm policies, how we subsidize corn and other commodity crops, yet we do not subsidize fresh fruits or vegetables, which puts families in that situation in the first place.

We’re now going into several generations of families and kids who grew up in this environment where the processed food is cheap and therefore available and therefore widely consumed. So we have to address it on a federal-policy level to at least get the price of fruits and vegetables to come down. And then to find creative ways to introduce affordable fruits and vegetables into our diets on a regular basis, especially when kids are young. Ω

Did you hear? Sacramento’s been voted the eighth most redneck city in the country! It’s also the fourth nerdiest in the nation, the No. 1 California city for singles—and, apparently, among the top 10 cities worldwide for marketing trolls.

Over the course of a month, the “Novelty Real Estate” blog on Movoto’s website has included Sacramento in three separate top 10 blog posts, two of which proved wildly shareworthy on Facebook.

Using questionable criteria and pseudo-scientific number crunching, the blog keeps churning out lists en masse—and then pesters news orgs across the nation for free press.

Listen, Movoto. We get it. You want clicks, and you’re wrangling BuzzFeed’s format to get them—when you’re not trying to appeal to millennials with posts dedicated to ninjas and The Legend of Zelda video games. But it’s too much, too fast. Give it a breather.

And readers: Vet your sources before you “like” and “share.” We’re all to blame when inane listicles like these blast across our social media like wildfires. (Dave Kempa)

Scammer scum It doesn’t get much lower than this.

The Sacramento Housing and Redevelopment Agency reports that scammers have been contacting low-income residents, claiming to be SHRA reps, and offering them housing vouchers—provided they deposit $250 to $350 into an online debit account.

Oddly enough, after receiving the money, the thieves then prompt the aspiring residents to contact the housing authority to set up an appointment.

There is no appointment, of course, and the unfortunate victims soon realize that they’ve been had.

La Shelle Dozier, executive director at SHRA, says that this scam is being perpetrated against those who are least able to rebound from such a monetary hit. And she’s right. The men and women looking for housing through these agencies are among the most unstably housed in Sacramento. (D.K.)

B E S T O F T H E B U R B S | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 05.16.13

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Acronyms, R.I.P. Should lawmakers bring back ‘tombstoning’? ICYMI, grandiose titles and pithy wordplay abound.

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Tombstones used to be central to the California legislative process. Not the kind up on boot hill; the kind found up at the top of pieces of legislation. The kind that puffed egos, unruffled feathers, eased re-election and, generally, greased the sometimes clunky mechanics of lawmaking.

“Tombstoning” was the practice of lawmakers naming pieces of legislation after themselves.

Sometimes their colleagues S A C U

by GREG L conferred the honor as a tribute to a job well-done. More often, caplowdown@newsreview.com it was legislators pimping their own action.

Numerous landmark laws are known by their tombstones: the Williamson Act Program, the KnoxKeene Health Care Service Plan Act of 1975 and the Unruh Civil Rights Act, to name three. Open meetings in California are governed by the Brown Act—Ralph M., not Willie L.

Greg Lucas’

state-politics column Capitol Lowdown appears every other week in SN&R. He also blogs at www.californias capitol.com.

There’s the Hughes-Hart Educational Reform Act of 1983; the Roberti-Roos Assault Weapons Control Act of 1989; and the Lanterman-Petris-Short Act, relating to state mental-health treatment.

A recent state supreme court ruling that prompted some of this year’s renewed attention on privacy centers on the Song-Beverly Credit Card Act of 1971 and whether its restrictions on information needed for a credit-card purchase apply to online transactions.

(The court said no.)

Tombstoning was prevalent enough that it sparked a parlor game among legislative denizens to create amusing fake ones. The LockyerBoatwright Marina Safety Act being one such offering.

The self-aggrandizing practice began to be overused, however, and state lawmakers muzzled themselves in 2007, prohibiting bills from including “a short title that names a current or former Member of the Legislature.”

But like so many things in life, curtailing one thing just leads to proliferation of another.

Stripped of the ability to tombstone, lawmakers now turn to grandiose titles and pithy acronyms.

It’s doubtful the California Transparency in Supply Chains Act of

2010 actually achieves anything near that. Sounds bitchin’ though, don’t it?

The California Online Privacy Protection Act of 2003 merely requires websites to have a privacy policy and post it where consumers will see it. The California Global Warming Solutions Act of 2006 is Assembly Bill 32. Kudos to the author for, in a rare moment of self-effacement, appending an “s” to “Solution.”

Tweets and texts may well contribute to the seemingly torrential flood of acronyms. Sure, acronyms aren’t new, and many have been used so often for so long, they’ve morphed into the actual name rather than an abbreviation: FBI. CIA. SOS. SOP. NRA. SNAFU. It’s not often a patient is told of their rights under the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act. The State of California website says that the California Department of Social Services, CDSS, lies within the California Health and Human Services Agency, CHHA. CDSS, in turn, administers CalWORKs—the California Work Opportunities and Responsibility to Kids program.

CalWORKs is the Golden State’s version of TANF, the federal Temporary Assistance for Needy Families program.

CalWORKs is an early example of what appears to be the growing conviction among state and national politicians that an acronym is superior if it spells an actual word or phrase that promotes the bill.

Who hasn’t heard of the USA PATRIOT Act? Actually, its name is the “Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism” Act. Seriously.

Tax money was spent to come up with that name.

Most recently, here in California, Senate Democrats assembled a package of eight bills aimed at reducing gun violence. Among the measures are one requiring gun owners to take safety training annually instead of every five years. Another bill bans ownership of magazines that hold 10 rounds or more.

To better move product, the group of bills is now the “LIFE Act”—Lifesaving Intelligent Firearms Enforcement.

Bottom-line: TMA. Too many acronyms—as any XLNT texter would point out. Ω

Sacramento Vedanta Reading Group

A history of violence

Every Friday 7:00 - 8:30 pm · Free admission

Gold Rush Days draw fire for fictionalized gunfights Gold Rush Days are billed as a celebration of Sacramento’s “history and heritage.” If you haven’t been, the event happens over the long Labor Day weekend. The city dumps a bunch of dirt and straw on the streets of Old Sacramento. There are crafts and re-enactments and music.

Volunteers dress up like they’re living in the 1850s, and they tell stories and give ARVIN quick history lessons in old-timey

by COSMO G accents. It’s charming and educational cosmog@ n ewsrev iew.c om and hot.

For several years, Gold Rush Days have included mock gunfights in the street performed by paid actors. The skit generally involves some drunken ruffians, some put-upon lawmen, a lot of noise, a lot of bodies in the street.

The shows are popular, but Mary Lynne McGrath says they’re too violent for the little kids who line the wooden sidewalks to watch.

“After Sandy Hook and everything that’s happened, I don’t think little kids need to be exposed to gunfire,” said McGrath, who used to teach storytelling in the child-development program at Sacramento City College.

Bites first wondered if McGrath wasn’t overreacting. Nibbles and Bits have seen these shows. And those kids are going to be screwed up, no doubt about it. But not from watching some hokey gunfight in Old Sac. Not even close to making Bites’ badparenting highlight reel.

And, it’s educational, remember. The kiddos are getting a taste of frontier justice. Or something.

“No, they are not historically accurate,” said Marcia Eymann, the City of Sacramento’s historian. She says the gunfights are made-up Hollywood Western-style inventions that have very little to do with the unromanticized, real, brutal violence that happened in Sacramento.

“Did shoot-outs happen? Yes, they did.

If you want to base them on something that actually happened, that’s one thing. But when you’re basically just making things up, that’s different,” Eymann continued.

“The historians don’t like it, I understand that. But we’re trying to keep a fresh event,” said Mike Testa, senior vice president of the Sacramento Convention and Visitors Bureau, noting, “gunfights did happen in the 1800s.”

“Are we portraying them in the way that they happened? I don’t know the answer to that.” Testa added the program is “No. 1 by far” among visitors. “The historically accurate part can only go so far. Sometimes you need that hook to bring people in, and while they are there, they get exposed to the historic re-enactment.”

The implication there is that real history is boring. But consider the recent response to the display of Sacramento’s historic “underground.” These are below-ground spaces and BEFORE

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@ Sierra II Community Center, Room 6 2791 24th Street, Sacramento

architectural features like windows, low barrelvaulted ceilings and buttresses left behind when the city raised downtown streets after the great flood of 1862. These underground tours keep selling out, though they are no more dramatic than walking around in a basement and listening to a really interesting story.

And there’s plenty of interesting historic mayhem to present, too. Eymann notes re-enactments of the Squatters Riot of 1850 have been successful.

The Squatters Riot was sort of like the original Occupy Sacramento, born out of a legal dispute between would-be settlers and a powerful group of land speculators. Guess whose side the Sacramento City Council took?

Parking in back For more information please see www.SacVRG.org

The whole world is your own.

— Sri Sarada Devi

On July 1, 2013 Recycling Collection is changing from weekly to every other week.

Imagine a Sacramento Bee publisher siding with occupiers and squatters today.

Find out at sacrecycle.org or call 311 The council actually passed a no-camping ordinance, and the militia was called in. Sheriff Joseph McKinney led a group of men in an attack on a squatters camp in Brighton (near where modern Folsom Boulevard skirts the Sacramento State University campus) and got himself killed, along with three squatters. In a separate fight, the mayor was wounded and the city assessor killed. A young rabble-rouser named James McClatchy was jailed for inciting and resisting the authority of the sheriff.

He’d later go on to found The Sacramento Bee. Imagine a Sac Bee publisher siding with occupiers and squatters today.

A long digression, but you get the idea.

Perhaps the Squatters Riot lacks some slapstick potential. But it’s more interesting than a reheated cartoon version of the O.K. Corral.

Surely there’s enough good material there to put on a show that’s smart and draws tourists, too?

“Who owns history? Who gets to say what history is?” asked McGrath. “Do businessmen who want to cater to the hotel trade get to say what history is, even when it isn’t?”

Good questions. But Bites understands McGrath’s real concern has more to do with the city using public dollars to present any homicide, even a Disney-fied homicide, as entertainment. After all, we’d never put on a re-enactment of the New Year’s Eve shootings in Old Sacramento in order to amuse gawkers while they nibble their waffle cones. This is different, Bites supposes, because it’s not real. But then, it’s also not really part of our “history and heritage.” Ω

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A better grapefruit Local produce not only boasts nicer flavors—it would be a giant boost to Sacramento’s economy Robert Hoover sells grapefruit. I eat grapefruit. So, there I was, standing in front of the Hooverville Orchards booth at the Sunday Sacramento farmers market under the freeway. Only one day before, I’d bought four grapefruits at a local supermarket. And here I was today, considering a purchase of more local El Dorado County grapefruit.

Just then, Robert announced in a loud, booming voice that the price of his grapefruit had dropped l ne Ae nK

by Jeff Vo from $1 a pound to only 50 cents. Fifty cents a j e ffv @ ne wsr e v ie w.c o m pound for local, just-picked grapefruit! I made an instant decision to go on a mini grapefruit diet.

I bought half a dozen of Robert’s golden wonders.

Although Robert had been selling plenty of grapefruit at $1 a pound, his trees had produced more than plenty. Not wanting to take his grapefruit back to the farm, Robert dropped the price for the last hour of the market. Now, one does not need to be an economist to know that it is a lot harder to pay the bills when you’re getting 50 cents per pound when you are getting I made an instant than a dollar.

But I was happy to decision to go on a get such a great deal. mini grapefruit diet. I was even happier after eating Robert’s grapefruit.

They were great. A little bitter, but also sweet. I did a taste comparison with the nonlocal grapefruit from a Sacramento supermarket. The supermarket grapefruit More than 100 varieties of fruit seemed road weary. The taste was OK, but the insides can be found were falling apart. They could not compare to Robert’s. at Hooverville Why are most major supermarkets importing food Orchards. Visit it items when we have a better product here? I’m sure 365 days a year at 1100 Wallace Road they’ve got a good reason. But I believe that any in Placerville, or supermarket that’s capable of figuring out how to offer check out the farm Chinese food in their store can also figure out how to on YouTube: have great local produce. If we, the 2 million people http://youtu.be/ living in the Sacramento region, decided to buy more dOOI__FnkmM. Look for its local products, then the supermarkets would be willing to produce at a move heaven and earth to make sure that we had it. We farmers market, need to send them that message. or go to Robert actually has some produce that is sold at big www.hooverville supermarkets, and he’s delighted about that. The Nugget orchards.com for more information. Market chain and Raley’s are also starting to carry more local products. But the amount being sold now is so small, while the potential is so large. If the 2 million people living in the Sacramento region each spent $5 Jeff vonKaenel more a week on local food instead of trucked-in food is the president, from God knows where, that would be $10 million more CEO and per week or $520 million a year. Most of those millions majority owner of of dollars would go to workers and to local businesses the News & Review that would spend it in our community. It would be a newspapers in Sacramento, giant boost to our economy.

And we would get a better grapefruit. Ω Chico and Reno.

14 | SN&R | 05.16.13

This Modern World

by tom tomorrow

I miss the old Second Saturday

Brown’s water grab Gov. Jerry Brown’s $23 billion Bay Delta Conservation Plan has nothing to do with fixing the Delta. Just ask Jerry Meral, deputy secretary of the California Natural Resources Agency and Brown’s point man for the plan.

In perhaps the biggest political gaffe in the long history of California’s ongoing water wars, Meral stunned observers when he recently remarked that Brown’s plan, which has been marketed as a way to fix the Delta while protecting the water supply, “is not about, and has never been about saving the Delta. The Delta cannot be saved.”

The comments made headlines It would be tragic up and down the state, sparked if Gov. Jerry Brown’s outraged calls for Meral’s dismissal, and exposed the plan for most enduring legacy what it is: a blatant water grab and was a water project a death sentence for the Delta.

Water flows toward money that destroyed in California, and the Bay Delta the Delta.

Conservation Plan being pushed

by Brown is only the latest scheme to send water from Northern California around the Delta and ship it to moneyed interests. It calls for construction of two massive tunnels that would suck water from intakes on the Sacramento River between Freeport Boulevard and the town of Walnut Grove, and pump it to diversion canals near Tracy, where it would be channeled south to fuel Central Valley agribusiness and Southern California development.

Local impacts would be profound. Some 2,660 acres of prime Sacramento County farmland would be taken out of production to accommodate the intake infrastructure. Another 2,826 acres in four counties would become disposal areas for 27 million cubic yards of “tunnel muck,” the dirt and chemical waste from the tunnel excavation, which would be piled in plateaus along the route.

More importantly, the Delta ecosystem would be devastated. Environmentalists have long pointed out that current levels of freshwater diversion are not sustainable and need to be reduced. Increased diversion, combined with the predictable impacts of climate change, would almost certainly result in the extinction learn more about the governor’s Bay delta of protected species and ecological collapse.

Conservation Plan To date, the state has been unable to produce at http://baydelta scientific evidence to support claims that operation of conservationplan.com. the tunnel system would improve freshwater flows and benefit the Delta. Equally important, BDCP advocates have failed to provide a long-promised cost-benefit analysis explaining why the taxpayers and waterdistrict ratepayers should be willing to pick up the project’s $23 billion price tag.

Fortunately, there are alternatives. Opponents of the plan have pointed out that a “portfolio approach”—that combines increased water recycling and conservation, new storage facilities south of the Delta, improved cooperation between water agencies, and levee improvements—could do more to achieve the statemandated co-equal goals of restoring the Delta and protecting California’s water supply, and do it for billions less than Brown’s plan.

Jerry Brown has done a lot of things right in his return to the governor’s office. It would be tragic if his most enduring legacy was a water project that destroyed the Delta to benefit big agriculture and SoCal sprawl. We urge the governor to drop the tunnel plan and back a less expensive, more ecologically sound portfolio approach. Ω

quaffing bad wine without city paperwork. City A 50-something guy wearing khaki shorts with a tucked-in Hall also decided which bands could play and polo shirt holds a woman’s hand and ambles by where. Plus, more cops. down 20th Street. They point and remark Nick Miller All of it a red-tape bummer. and breathe in the neighborhood like they’ve Also, businesses got greedy. The event never seen it before. A block away, a band of nic kam@ newsre view.c om became more about boozing and partying than elementary-school kids on church steps sing creativity and passion.

Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’.” It’s shrill, but Then, tragedy: Victor Hugo Perez Zavala my girlfriend says it’s cute. Horses trot about was shot and killed on Second Saturday in with cops atop. Midtown’s streets gently hum.

September 2010.

It’s Second Saturday, the first big outing of the Politicians quickly zeroed in on the monthly 2013 season. Let’s call it Second Saturday lite. art walk. Business owners and I prefer the Second the original art galleries that Saturdays of yore.

I miss the old kicked off the event began The monthly art to dismay their creation. The walk used to be wild at Second Saturday’s good times went bad. heart. That one Sacto impulsive verve.

And now, today, hello, event each month you Second Saturday lite. couldn’t miss. An Perhaps I should be grateful. It was interestevening where, just before sunset, random art ing to see hundreds doing yoga in the middle peddlers and hacks, bands—many amazing, of 20th Street last Saturday morning, and the many more awful—and whoever overtook The next evening crowd wandering my neighborhood’s Midtown’s streets. Parking and traffic pissed second saturday streets was welcome, polite and good for off residents for a night, but who cares?

It is June 8. business. was memorable, magnetic, something that us And no one breaks my girlfriend’s car Midtowners celebrated and the rest of Sacto mirror with a baseball bat following this Second couldn’t resist. Boutiques and restaurants and Saturday. bars cited their biggest paydays of the month.

But still—just like how I get nostalgic There were more after-parties than actual parties. about the zany fun at the old Gallery Horse No rules, no one in charge—yet it worked.

Cow parties, or the grid’s once-untouchable And then, there were rules. underground-music scene—I miss the old The city established permits and regulations Second Saturday’s impulsive verve. Ω for Second Saturday. Possibly some were necessary, but surely theirs went too far. No more B E F O R E | N E W S | B E S T O F T H E B U R B S | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 05.16.13

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SK-TSK, SuBuRBanITES, yOu’VE BEEn hOLdInG OuT On uS.

here at Sn&R’s headquarters on del Paso Boulevard, we can suffer a little Midtown bias sometimes, even though we work a couple miles away from its cultural nexis. The art, the music, the food and the weird around these parts are just too damn intoxicating to ignore.

But to be fair, those of you who live, work and play in Sacramento’s best-known bedroom communities have stayed awfully hush-hush about your treasures.

We were led to believe the burbs were all about retail chains, parent-teacher conferences and fussy hOas. But wouldn’t you know it, there’s far more to Sacramento than what’s in her grid.

The residents of the greater Roseville, Elk Grove and Folsom neighborhoods have known this for a while.

We know it now, too. and we’re putting all you burb dwellers on blast.

For Sn&R’s inaugural Best of the Burbs issue, our writers went out and scoured your strange lands and turned up every precious secret you have. We chanced upon a wild livestock auction in Roseville, supped on divine French cuisine in Elk Grove and unearthed Folsom’s hidden Chinese history. We also discovered a veganfriendly cafe Midtown Sacramento would be lucky to have, choice vintage threads that bring the fashion and not the funk, and an art class that pairs nicely with a wine buzz.

So pop a Bud and fire up the backyard barbecue, neighbor. Sn&R is moving in next door—and the burbs will never be the same.

ThE SuburbaN commaNDoS bEhIND SN&r’S INaugural bEST of ThE burbS ISSuE: Editor: Raheem F. Hosseini Art dirEctors: Hayley Doshay, Priscilla Garcia PhotogrAPhErs: Ryan Donahue, Taras Garcia WritErs: Daniel Barnes, Deena Drewis, Lovelle Harris, Corbyn Hightower, Raheem F. Hosseini, Dave Kempa, Rachel BEFORE

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Leibrock, Jonathan Mendick, Nick Miller, Shoka coPy Editors: Shoka Shafiee, Deena Drewis WEb Publishing: Joe Kakacek onlinE Voting: John Bisignano, Joe Kakacek

sAlEs tEAM: Josh Burke,

dirEctor of sAlEs And MArkEting: Rick Brown

Melissa Bernard, Matt Kjar

Dusty Hamilton, Brian Jones, Rosemarie Messina, Dave Nettles, Olla Ubay, Joy Webber, Kelsi White Ad sErVicEs oPErAtions MAnAgEr:

Will Niespodzinski Ad sErVicEs tEAM:

—Raheem F. Hosseini

INSIDE:

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BEST OF ROSEVILLE BEST OF ELK GROVE BEST OF FOLSOM

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A standing-room only is nothing new at the Roseville Livestock Auction, where huge, diverse crowds gather every-other Sunday morning to bid on livestock from around the area. The bidding is often wilder than the animals for sale.

PHOTOS BY RYAN DONAHUE

b e sT plac e To bid on— a n d win —li v e a nim als Roseville livestock Auction

by Jonathan Mendick jonathanm @newsrev iew.com

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T

here’s no currenT address, phone n u m b e r o r w e b s i T e fo r T h e r o s e v i l l e l i v e sTo c k au cT i o n . h e l l , T h e r e ’ s n o o n e To c o n f i r m T h aT ’ s r e a l ly e v e n i Ts n a m e . b u T T h aT d o e s n ’ T sTo p a c u lT u r a l m a s h u p f r o m g aT h e r ing under The Tin roof e v e ry f i r sT a n d T h i r d s u n day m o r n i n g aT T h e corner of church and aT k i n s o n sT r e e Ts i n roseville.

This speakeasy scene is a crazy one: On a recent Sunday, under an open-air structure in a parking lot just across the street from Denio’s Roseville Farmers Market & Swap Meet, about 100 people huddle around dozens of cages filled with random plumed livestock.

As I squeeze into the diverse crowd, it feels like I could easily be somewhere on one of the ancient Silk Road trading passages—perhaps a remote landlocked section somewhere between Tajikistan and Kyrgystan. Buyers use at least five discernible languages—English, Spanish, Cantonese, Hmong, Russian—to discuss among their families what kind of animal they’d like to bid on and for how much.

But there might even be a few more languages unbeknownst to me echoing through such a large crowd. (Is that Arabic I hear?)

A little girl wearing a hijab attempts to pet and play with rabbits. One little boy tries to feed a chicken a piece of hay that he finds on the ground. Other kids appear scared of the many beaked animals for sale, which, on this day, include turkeys, ducks, swans, pigeons and peacocks. (Yum?) Here’s how the bidding goes down, according to a person working

the low-rent cash register (which is just a folding table with some handwritten receipts on it and a small cashbox): Employees sometimes get there as early as 5:30 a.m. to help set up. People who want to auction their livestock start filtering in soon after, with most of them registered by 8:30 a.m. The selection is only as good as what people bring on any given Sunday. And then, the auction begins at 9:30 a.m.

“We’re auctioning these pigeons right here! Three dollars. Three-fifty.

Four dollars. Four-fifty. Anyone? All right, $4,” says an auctioneer. “Now, how many do you want?”

This will go on until there are no more animals to purchase, which could be noon, or even late into the afternoon, according the cashier.

At the livestock auction, you come for the live food, but stay for the show. Church and Atkinson streets in Roseville.

writers’ picks accents, the cameras themselves look like works of art. One of the few camera stores left in the region, Action Camera, hosts the Semiannual Tailgate Swapmeet in its Roseville parking lot.

Vendors—some of whom come up from the Bay Area—can set up free

Best yogi grow East Wind Yoga Class ain’t over until this fat lady is sobbing by the koi pond. This is the sweetest, best-kept secret of yogis in Roseville, offering morning, lunchtime, evening and weekend classes in hatha flow, hot and other styles of the ancient art of strenuous stretching. There’s an amazing garden in the back where you can sit among primal ferns with steam rising from your body as you cry out your chaturanga frustrations while a Tibetan Buddha statue regards you dolefully. It’s located just outside downtown Roseville, with abundant parking on side streets. Yogis walk to their cars giving each other blissed-out nods. Do the same. 210 Riverside Avenue in Roseville, (916) 316-9642, www.eastwindyoga.com. C.H.

here for one-stop shopping. Don’t miss speed-skating class on Fridays, or live out your retro fantasies to completion on Retro Saturdays from 8 to 11 p.m. 889 Riverside Avenue in Roseville, (916) 783-0918, www.rollerkingroseville.com. C.H.

Best craft- Beer Buzz Final Gravity Taproom & Bottleshop

Don’t freak out, man. The ’70s are back, and they’re grooving at Roseville’s Roller King.

Whether you’re a wobbly armed novice or an Elvis Stojko on four wheels, the polished hardwood demands your disco best.

PHOTO BY RYAN DONAHUE

Final Gravity Taproom & Bottleshop is the best reason for Midtown Sacramentans to day-trip out of the city’s vaunted beer bubble, and it’s Roseville residents’ strongest argument for avoiding the commute altogether.

The 20-strong tap list is heavy on California craft beers, such as Berryessa Brewing Co.’s hoppy but session-able Footpath Pale. But it’s the all-killer, no-filler bottle shop and niece-andnephew-appropriate ambience that truly makes this place the “hops.” Final Gravity boasted a full slate of Prairie Artisan Ales offerings, including the dark farmhouse ale Funky Galaxy, just as a fever for Prairie began to overtake Midtown. Owners Kyle and Amy Ruthnick also offer special new releases—the 2013 vintage of Widmer Brothers’ rum-soaked brown ale Kill Devil was on tap when we visited—as well as brewery nights and anytime four-beer flights. 9205 Sierra College Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 782-1166, www.finalgravitybeer.com. D.B.

of charge. The items they bring to sell vary, but there’s always a plethora of gorgeous vintage film cameras to choose from, and they’re usually in much better condition than you’ll find at a thrift store. The event is always on a Sunday, from 8 a.m. to noon, and the next one will be at the end of August.

Check the store’s Facebook page for updates. In the parking lot of Action Camera, 1000 Sunrise Avenue, Suite 4B in Roseville; (916) 786-2288; www.facebook.com/actioncamera roseville. S.

Best ’70s flashBack Roller King Roller King is home court to the Roseville TrainWreckers, champs of the Sacred City Derby Girls league, so you know this rink is legit.

Couples, skate with your favorite sweetie at this perfect ’70s flashback.

The minute you walk into the lobby with the volcanic-rock walls, you’ll be transported back 30 years. Wait, hold on, make that 40 years. Yeesh.

Continue the time-warp illusion as you gingerly step into a pair of the house wheels and onto the neon geometric-patterned carpet, soaked as expected with spilled soda and pizza grease. Plan a birthday party

Best vintagecamera find Action Camera’s Semiannual Tailgate Swapmeet At some point in time, the simplest of manual cameras were state-of-the-art.

Now, with their often bulky bodies, rigid corners and handsome metal

the massive Antique Trove, full of both beautiful and odd antique and vintage items, you and your date are bound to come across something that’ll elicit a “My grandma used to have one of these!” or two. Enjoy the complimentary coffee and cookies

Best pole workout Vertical Fitness Studio Oh, come off it. Pole dancing stopped being taboo when Martha Stewart tried her hips at it on national television.

And while it may no longer be blushworthy, a choreographed routine around the pole certainly looks to be one hell of a workout. Don’t believe it? Then go on down to Vertical Fitness Studio and see if you can keep up with their world-class trainers. Even if you’re not in the best shape, these magic Mikes and Michelles will work with you at whatever level you’re comfortable. They also have aerial hoop classes and host bachelorette parties with—wait a second: No men or spectators allowed? Why the hell am I even writing this? 107 S. Harding Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 825-1199, www.verticalfitnessstudio.com. D.K.

Best unconventional first-date setting Antique Trove Sitting in the dark for two hours with eyes transfixed to a movie screen isn’t the best way to get to know someone on a first date. But browsing through

(sometimes homemade) while you’re perusing through old furniture, clothing, hardware, photographs, cookbooks and jewelry. Find out now if your hot little date has the same tastes as you, and take home a vintage memento to remember the good times—before you dump or marry his or her ass. 236 N. Harding Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 786-2777, www. antiquetrove.com. S.

Best secret Brew Coffee cart at the Santucci Justice Center Courthouse Looking at the glistening, windowed walls of Placer County Superior Court’s main courthouse, you probably wouldn’t think that it offers a heavenly brew of gourmet java inside. But anyone who’s paused at the first-floor coffee cart before wading deeper into Placer’s den of law and order knows this to be true. Word has it the caramel macchiato is to be arrested for. Or so the region’s bleary-eyed crime reporters tell us.

The cart is open for business weekdays between 8 a.m. and 1:45 p.m., and it’s where all the prosecutors, lawyers and judges grab their morning jolt before conducting the people’s work.

It’s the best reason to have to go to court. And a lot cheaper than a traffic

ticket. 10820 Justice Center Drive in Roseville, www.placer.courts.ca.gov/ locations/location-SJC.html. R.F.H.

Best eyeBall hike Miner’s Ravine Trail Walk, bike or jog next to a babbling, flowing creek, and enjoy sightings of Canada geese, wild turkeys, ducks and—if you’re not careful—skunks at dusk. This 7.5-mile asphalt trail winds on and on, and just gets more gorgeous the deeper in you go. There’s a mosscovered concrete bench, gnarled oaks and lupines and California poppies in great colorful drifts. If you want to make a whole day of it, pack a lunch and eat in the shadow of the Olympus Pointe sculpture, and maybe take in an evening movie at the UA Olympus Pointe Stadium 12, which is conveniently accessible right off the trail. Parking is available at Saugstad Park off Douglas Boulevard, at the back end of the shopping plaza along Sunrise Avenue and at the northern endpoint along Sierra College Boulevard; www.roseville.ca.us/parks/ get_active/walks_n_rides.asp. C.H.

Best restaurant that should Be downtown Baagan The rich, subdued taste of the “‘Peanut’ Butter Cup” blended drink is enough to make diners living near downtown Sacramento jealous that Baagan isn’t located closer to their homes. But making the trek to this vegan (and mostly raw) restaurant pays off.

The menu consists of deceptively mundane items—sandwiches, soups, salads and smoothies—but the end product is anything but. The fare is flavorful, but feels wonderfully light and, at the same time, incredibly filling. Such is the benefit of not earning frequent-fryer miles. Unless you’re willing to make the drive or hire Baagan to cater, the rest of us will just have to live with envy until the eatery opens a shop in every neighborhood. 910 Pleasant Grove Boulevard, Suite 160 in Roseville; (916) 771-2117; www.baagan.com. S.

Best hipster dog toys The Posh Puppy Boutique If you have a dog, chances are it has a favorite toy. My dog’s handsdown favorite is a plush piece of sushi made by Sushi Pups. No

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free mexican H O M E M A D E

cuisine VOTED

BEST MEXICAN FOOD

BY PRESS TRIBUNE & STYLE MAGAZINE

FULL BAR WITH 100+ TEQUILLAS

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM $1 TACOS & DISCOUNTS ON COCKTAILS

LIVE MARIACHIS EVERY FRIDAY

live music

taqueria

4006 Foothills Blvd | Roseville, CA | 916.772.6682

TAKEOVER

Encounter God & Come Alive Spiritually SATURDAY SERVICE: 5:10pm Casual Yet Sacred SUNDAY SERVICES: 7:30am Classical Language 9:00am Contemporary Organ & Piano 11:15am Classical Music

everY fri & sAT 9Pm

mAY 17

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ClassiC RoCk & Roll and Blues

mAY 18

ALL 21

seT iN sTONe ClassiC RoCk

mAY 24

GrOOve THANG PaRty danCe CoveR Band

TAPS

ALL DAY

mAY 25

sTeelHOrse Bon Jovi tRiBute Band

El Azteca

TOTAL TAP

full BAr & lATe NiGHT meNu

NOON–MIDNIGHT S A T U R D A Y M A Y 1 8 TH

iNsiDe sTriKes uNlimiTeD

TAPROOM & BOT TLESHOP

5681 lonetree Blvd • rocklin 916.626.3600 sTriKesr OcKliN.cOm

FINAL GRAVIT Y

2620 Capitol Ave. tvrbaker@trinitycathedral.org trinitycathedral.org

Reverend Dr. Brian Baker

LIKE

US.

OR ELSE. LOVE,

GO TO FACEBOOK.COM/SACNEWSREVIEW

A U T H E N T I C A L LY

& THIS LION

9205 Sierra College Blvd. #100 | Roseville, CA 916.782.1166 | www.finalgravitybeer.com

PHOTO: Dominic Saavedra

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buy / sell / trade / consign . women & men . current styles SACRAMENTO: 2935 arden way • 916.972.9900 ROSEVILLE: 1850 douglas blvd • 916.781.9900 STOCKTON OUTLET: 5756 pacific ave.#26 • 209.476.1300 www.crossroadstrading.com

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NOW OPEN IN E ROSEVILL

Roseville Galleria Mall Mon-Sat 10am-9pm • Sun 11am-7pm (916)791-5200 • estherscupcakes.com

Final Gravity Taproom & Bottleshop lines up a selection of choice craft beers for your sipping pleasure. This is the place to get your hops snobbery on.

2. Hawks 5530 Douglas Boulevard in Granite Bay, (916) 791-6200, www.hawksrestaurant.com

Best MexIcan/LatIn aMerIcan

Best grocery store

1. el azteca taqueria

1117 Roseville Square in Roseville, (916) 784-9084, www.traderjoes.com

Best Burger

4006 Foothills Boulevard, Suite 103 in Roseville; (916) 772-6682; http://elaztecataqueria.com

1. squeeze Inn

2. carmelita’s restaurant

106 N. Sunrise Avenue in Roseville, (916) 783-2874, http://thesqueezeinn.com

204 Riverside Avenue in Roseville, (916) 783-0411, www.carmelitasrestaurant.com

2. the Habit Burger grill 4060 Douglas Boulevard in Granite Bay, (916) 791-6790; 933 Pleasant Grove Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 791-5292; www.habitburger.com

Best sanDwIcH 1. Beach Hut Deli various locations, www.beachhutdeli.com

2. granite’s Famous cheesesteaks & wings 973 Pleasant Grove Boulevard, Suite 100 in Roseville; (916) 774-9464; www.graniteswings.com

Best BreakFast or BruncH 1. the original Pancake House photo by ryan donahue

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matter what new toy we give him to play with, he always seems to grab his old plush sushi toy for sentimental reasons. Besides, the thing is seemingly indestructible (my dog destroyed most of his other plush toys). Anyway, the only place near Sacramento to get these bad boys is at Rocklin’s Posh Puppy Boutique. There you’ll find unique clothes, eco-friendly toys and all kinds of other hipster accessories for your pet to enjoy. 6040 Stanford Ranch Road, Suite 200 in Rocklin; (888) 837-5230; www.poshpuppy boutique.com. J.M.

families mingle among each other for the best noncorporate sammies.

San Francisco Giants and 49er fans can eyeball the respectable memorabilia collection. Marinated olives, cold noodle sandwiches and deviled eggs round out a menu that’s abundant in decadent lunch meats.

There’s limited parking and, for that matter, limited seating. You’ve got to really want it. And you will.

900 Douglas Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 782-2841, www.betterfoods deli.com. C.H.

readers’ picks

Better Foods Deli

Best restaurant

This old-school deli has a faded, small-town ambience that can’t be duplicated by a marketing team, and the neighborhood knows it.

It’s where the elderly and local

1. Mikuni kaizen

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2. Four sisters cafe 9050 Fairway Drive, Suite 165 in Roseville; (916) 797-0770; www.facebook.com/foursisterscafe

1017 Galleria Boulevard, Suite 160 in Roseville; (916) 780-2119; www.mikunisushi.com

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1. India oven 943 Pleasant Grove Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 772-4800, www.theindiaoven.com

2. Bombay Bistro 1813 Douglas Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 772-5551, http://bombaybistro roseville.eat24hour.com

Best coFFeeHouse 1. Bloom coffee & tea 1485 Eureka Road, Suite 100 in Roseville; (916) 773-2332; www.bloomcoffee.com

2. Lollicup coffee & tea 1253 Pleasant Grove Boulevard, Suite 120 in Roseville; (916) 787-5335; www.lollicup.com

Best Bakery 1. Icing on the cupcake 6839 Lonetree Boulevard in Rocklin, (916) 899-6501; 5065 Pacific Street in Rocklin, (916) 315-9500; www.icingonthecupcake.com

Best susHI

2. nothing Bundt cakes

1. Mikuni Japanese restaurant & sushi Bar

1112 Galleria Boulevard, Suite 140 in Roseville; (916) 780-2253; www.nothingbundtcakes.com

1565 Eureka Road in Roseville, (916) 797-2112, www.mikunisushi.com

2. kenro’s a taste of Japan

Best sPot For cocktaILs

1079 Sunrise Avenue in Roseville, (916) 787-0840, www.kenros.com

1. the Boxing Donkey Irish Pub 300 Lincoln Street in Roseville, (916) 797-3665, www.theboxingdonkey.com

Best sPot For asIan eats 2. crush 29 1. rose garden chinese restaurant

Best neighBorhood meat-and-greet

BEFORE

10000 Fairway Drive in Roseville, (916) 788-3040, http://pancakesroseville.com

Best InDIan

1079 Sunrise Avenue, Suite 1 in Roseville; (916) 781-3823; www.facebook.com/rosegarden restaurant

2. ruen thai restaurant 1470 Eureka Road in Roseville, (916) 774-1499, www.ruenthai.net

1. trader Joe’s

2. whole Foods Market 1001 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 781-5300, www.wholefoodsmarket.com

Best sPot For FaMILy Fun 1. strikes unlimited 5681 Lonetree Boulevard in Rocklin, (916) 626-3600, www.strikesrocklin.com

2. Lasercraze 6694 Lonetree Boulevard in Rocklin, (916) 259-2729, www.lasercrazeca.com

Best PLace to get your HaIr LookIn’ gooD 1. shades Hair color Bar and salon 1470 Eureka Road, Suite 160 in Roseville; (916) 960-5929; http://shadescolorbar.com

2. gloss salon 5961 West Oaks Boulevard in Rocklin, (916) 760-8222, www.glossrocklin.com

Best PLace to sHoP 1. westfield galleria at roseville 1151 Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 787-2000, www.westfield.com

2. Fountains at roseville Roseville Parkway and Galleria Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 786-2679, www.fountainsatroseville.com

Best yoga sPot 1. Veera yoga 711 Pleasant Grove Boulevard, Suite 100 in Roseville; (916) 415-6790; www.veerayoga.com

2. Zuda yoga

1480 Eureka Road in Roseville, (916) 779-2929, www.crush29.com

1470 Eureka Road, Suite 140 in Roseville; (916) 781-9642; www.zudayoga.com

Best PLace For a Beer

Best goLF course

1. Boneshaker Public House

1. whitney oaks golf club

2168 Sunset Boulevard, Suite 104 in Rocklin; (916) 259-2337; www.boneshakerpub.com

2305 Clubhouse Drive in Rocklin, (916) 632-8333, www.whitneyoaksgolf.com

2. roseville Brewing company

2. woodcreek golf club

501 Derek Place in Roseville, (916) 783-2337, www.rosevillebrewingcompany.com

5880 Woodcreek Oaks Boulevard in Roseville, (916) 771-4653, www.facebook.com/ Woodcreekgolfclub

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No, this isn’t a Table for Six ad. It’s a group of sated diners toasting another delicious night at Boulevard Bistro.

The Elk Grove eatery has grown in esteem and popularity since 2006, when owner and chef Bret Bohlmann brought his slow-food ethos and passion for French cuisine to town.

PHOTOS BY TARAS GARCIA

B est fren ch affair Boulevard Bistro by

lovelle Harris

W

h o s ays yo u ca n ’ t g o h o m e ag a i n ?

B r e t Bo h l m a n n , c h e f a n d oW n e r o f Bo u l e va r d B i st r o, d i d j u st t h at W h e n h e o p e n e d t h e d o o r s to h i s i n t i m at e f i n e - d i n i n g e sta B l i s h m e n t i n o l d e l k g r ov e i n 2 0 0 6 .

For Bohlmann, food is a family affair. Opening what has become a local jewel, Bohlmann and wife Debbie launched the bistro as a testament to the slow-food movement and his passion for “nose-to-tail” cuisine.

“I grew up hunting and fishing with my family,” Bohlmann says. “I have a high respect for animals and fish, and at the restaurant we use 100 percent of the animal.”

This philosophy recently manifested itself in a luscious piece of salmon where every part of the fish was transformed: The filet was delicate and simple in its preparation and adorned with an armor of its own crispy skin; and the bones, including the rich and succulent collar meat, were not cast off into the garbage, but rather transmuted into a luscious stock for soup.

Classically trained in the French epicurean tradition established by culinary legend Georges Auguste Escoffier, Bohlmann graduated from the California Culinary Academy in San Francisco in 2000 and honed his culinary chops at some of the Bay Area’s premiere eateries—Cypress Club and Vivande Porta Via among them—before heading back to Elk Grove to unleash what he calls a food revolution on his birthplace.

For Bohlmann, this gastronomic upheaval includes sourcing ingredients, animals and wine from local purveyors no more than 100 miles from the restaurant—a lovingly restored 1908 California bungalow—staying away from “any meat wrapped in plastic” and utilizing only the freshest products.

The bistro seats a cozy 30 diners, and the ambience is a mix of French charm and laid-back California cool.

This confection helped the bistro earn recent induction in Zagat’s America’s Best Restaurants guide.

It was also named one of the top 100 restaurants in the nation by the OpenTable restaurant-reservation service. The dining room boasts a huge, roaring fireplace, simple design and an impressive collection of wine—a little piece of France in the burbs. 8941 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 685-2220, www. blvdbistro.com. Ω

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“BeSt of elk gRoVe” continued from page 23

Michael and Lynette Beckner prove you can shop and cure cancer at the American Cancer Society Discovery Shop.

writers’ picks

Best vintage finds for a good cause American Cancer Society Discovery Shop The way Macklemore & Ryan Lewis would have it, a trip to the local thrift shop is likely to net you a fly-ass leopard coat and some seriously stank sheets. Anyone who’s shopped at one of the American Cancer Society Discovery Shops, however, knows that secondhand can still mean highclass. We’re talking well-organized and clean—void of funky smells and cloying dust. The spacious Elk Grove location, in particular, boasts a great selection of furniture and clothes. Its vintage section is especially often stocked with reasonably priced great finds like pristine Mad Men-era coats; floaty hippie-chic dresses; and gorgeous, antique turn-of-the-century linens. 8470 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 685-7449, http:// discoveryshop-elkgrove.org. R.L.

Best arcade fever Pins N Strikes If you’re feeling nostalgic for the endless hours and quarters spent at the local arcade as a kid, then prepare to re-establish those joystick-caused hand calluses. Elk Grove’s Pins N Strikes promises the ultimate in old-school gaming fun. The largest bowling and entertainment facility in the Sacramento region, this cathedral of blue-collar fun boasts 40 bowling lanes, a full restaurant with 11 highdefinition flat-screen TVs for sportwatching enthusiasts, two bars for your imbibing pleasure and more than 100 boxy arcade games. And if you want to start your own dancedance revolution, a deejay and live musical performances will aid and abet your listening and booty-shaking pleasure. So lace up those bowling shoes and grab a stack of quarters— game on! 3443 Laguna Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 226-2695, www. pinsnstrikes.com. L.H.

PHOTO BY TARAS GARCIA

Best chili-dog themed pool tourneys Bob’s Club You see that nondescript, beige building with the American flag and tacky neon sign out front? That’s Bob’s Club. Who’s Bob? We don’t know. But this building has been

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standing since the 1870s. And you need to get in there this instant. Order a cocktail or one of the many beers that tattooed manager “Veto” has stocked behind the bar, commandeer the jukebox and shoot some stick for the perfect night in this charming little dive. Hell, if you’re worth anything around a pool table, make sure to come down Wednesdays for the buy-in pool tournament or Sundays to try your luck at 9-ball. It’s clean fun and one of our favorite reasons to make the trek to Elk Grove for the night. 9039 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 685-2064, www.bobsclubeg.com. D.K.

Best jailhouse BasketBall Rio Cosumnes Correctional Center There’s a chilling noise resonating from a hollow husk of a building just beyond sparkling doublegates hedged under cursive barbed wire: It’s laughter. Laughter in a jail. A mess of Sacramento County inmates are gabbing and chortling as basketballs drill the polished hardwood floors inside the gymnasium at the Rio Cosumnes Correctional Center, which is where the county sends anyone doing a year or more of local jail time. This vast blockade of buildings, tucked inside an even vaster expanse of pristine Elk Grove farm country, is more like a bucolic state-prison penitentiary than a rock-and-steel jailhouse. Oh, sure, there’s plenty of rock and steel.

But there’s also basketball. And sometimes, if you show up at the right hour, laughter. 12500 Bruceville Road in Elk Grove, (916) 874-1927, www.sacsheriff.com/organization/ correctional_%26_court_services/ RCCC. R.F.H.

Best sushi slump Buster Yoshi Japanese Restaurant Stuck in a sushi rut? Tired of the oversauced, over-the-top rolls beaten into ubiquity by every other sushi joint? Luckily, Yoshi Japanese Restaurant has a refreshing take on the raw-fish scene. Boasting such decadent dishes as ButaBara Don (a succulent slab of pork belly atop a fluffy cloud of rice) and taiyaki ice cream (a fish-shaped cake stuffed with vanilla ice cream and red bean) makes Yoshi an innovative alternative to some of the mainstays in Japanese cuisine. With hundreds of delectable bites to select from and a menu that boasts both traditional and inventive dishes, Yoshi’s is the cure for that sushi rut.

9174 Franklin Boulevard, Suite D in Elk Grove; (916) 391-6822; http:// yoshijapaneserestaurant.net. L.H.

Best truckstop joe Mr. Perry’s We all love fancy brunch spots— souffléed this and bacon-stuffed that—but sometimes all you need to kick the day off right is a really strong cup of coffee, hearty eggs and slabs of toast so thickly buttered they’ll leave permanent grease marks on your insides. Mr. Perry’s, a truck driver’s delight located off Highway 99, is just that kind of no-frills joint. Nothing froufrou here—just generous, tasty portions, cheap prices and mind-altering coffee. Lunch is also reportedly a good option (think classics, such as chef’s salad, chicken-fried steak, et al.), but really, why mess with a sure thing? 7820 Alta Valley Drive, (916) 423-2140. R.L.

readers’ picks

BeSt ReStAuRANt 1. Silva’s Sheldon Inn 9000 Grant Line Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-8330, www.silvassheldoninn.com

2. Boulevard Bistro 8941 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 685-2220, www. frontiernet.net/~boulevardbistro

BeSt PlACe to get A BuRgeR 1. the Habit Burger grill 7400 Laguna Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 683-3551, www.habitburger.com

2. Silva’s Sheldon Inn 9000 Grant Line Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-8330, www.silvassheldoninn.com

BeSt SANDwICH 1. Baguettes Deli 9380 Elk Grove Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 685-4587, www.baguettesdeli.com

2. Mr. Pickle’s Sandwich Shop 7419 Laguna Boulevard, Suite 100 in Elk Grove; (916) 683-3099; www.mrpicklesinc.com

BeSt BReAkfASt oR BRuNCH 1. Mel Dog’s Cafe 9766 Waterman Road, Suite B in Elk Grove; (916) 686-4615;

Best place FOR a DRiNK

www.facebook.com/pages/ Mel-Dogs-Cafe/156201231075544

1. the Wrangler Bar

2. Bert’s Diner 8972 Grant Line Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-6622, www.bertsdiner.com

8945 Grant Line Road in Elk Grove, (916) 714-9911, www.thewranglerbar.com

Best sushi

2. Bob’s club 9039 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 685-2064, www.bobsclubeg.com

1. Mikuni Japanese Restaurant & sushi Bar 8525 Bond Road in Elk Grove, (916) 714-2112, www.mikunisushi.com

Best Date-NiGht DestiNatiON

2. Kintaro sushi Bar 8355 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 684-6933, www.facebook.com/pages/ Kintaro-Sushi-Bar/108132279228108

THURS 5/16 • 8PM • FREE

LIVE JAZZ WITH DARLENE TELLIS ROBERT HEARD THE DJ JAZZ MASTER Jazz

1. palermo Ristorante italiano 9632 Emerald Oaks Drive in Elk Grove, (916) 686-1582, http://palermo-ristorante.com

Best pizza

2. Old town elk Grove

1. Old town pizza & tap house

Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, www.oldtownelkgrovefoundation.org

9677 Elk Grove Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-6655, www.otpmenu.com

Best spOt FOR FaMily FuN

FRI 5/17 ~ 9PM ~ $5

DJ ONES

E FCRheE ese Steak Sandwich

Y KIND ANY SIZE,ofAN Cheese Steak With purchase ue, of equal or greater val s. & 1 reg drink & 1 frie

on. Not valid with At regular menu price. With coup . Exp 05/30/13. other offers. Cannot combine offers

WELCOME BACK

★ TO THE NEW ★ ALL COUNTRY ALL THE TIME

FRI, MAY 17

THE CASH PROPHETS

Latest Hits

SAT, MAY 18 SAT 5/18 ~ 9PM ~ $10

BRANDED

MERCY ME

Old School ~ Funk Jazz ~ R&B

1. elk Grove park

2. Fat Mike’s pizza

9950 Elk Grove-Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 405-5300, www.yourcsd.com

8970 Grant Line Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-8543, www.fatmikespizza.com

2. pins N strikes

Best cheap eats

3443 Laguna Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 226-2695, www.pinsnstrikes.com

1. super taco Mexican Restaurants various locations, http://supertacomex.com

Best place Get yOuR haiR lOOKiN’ GOOD

2. Baguettes Deli

FRI 5/24 ~ 9PM ~ $5

EVERY WEDNESDAY

TBA

COUNTRY KARAOKE

SAT 5/25 ~ 9PM ~ $10

MIDNIGHT PLAYERS Top40 ~ Old School ~ R&B

3443 LAGUNA BLVD • ELK GROVE FACEBOOK.COM/PINSNSTRIKES PINSNSTRIKES.COM • 916.226.2695

Elk 8555 Elk Grove Blvd • 54 .74 86 6.6 91

Grove

THE WRANGLER

8945 GRANT LINE RD, ELK GROVE ★ 217-5585 ★ WWW.THEWRANGLERBAR.COM

1. elizabeth’s casa Bella salon & spa

9380 Elk Grove Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 685-4587, www.baguettesdeli.com

9152 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 714-8819

Best cOFFeehOuse 1. it’s a Grind coffee house various locations, www.itsagrind.com

2. peet’s coffee & tea 8234 Laguna Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 683-7191; 4900 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 683-0700; www.peets.com

2. studio 3 salon

FREE Home Energy Efficiency Expo

9589 Second Avenue in Elk Grove, (916) 879-2075, www.studio3hairdesigners.com

Saturday, June 1, 2013, 9am - 4pm

Best yOGa spOt 1. Bikram yoga elk Grove

Best BaKeRy

9384 Elk Grove-Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 714-9642, www.elkgroveyoga.com

1. above & Beyond cakes

2. My yoga Room

9372 Elk Grove Florin Road in Elk Grove, (916) 672-2259, www.aboveandbeyondcakes.com

8737 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 714-7337, http://myyogaroom.net

1. the cookie Jar

Best place tO shOp

9624 Bruceville Road, Suite 101 in Elk Grove; (916) 685-6767; www.cookiejar-elkgrove.com

1. the clothesline 8962 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 714-4883, www.facebook.com/ clotheslinefashion

Best GROceRy stORe 1. trader Joe’s

at SMUD Customer Service Center, 6301 S Street, Sacramento We’re bringing industry experts together so you can learn how to save money and energy. Workshops and vendors feature the latest in energy efficiency. Learn how to save energy on insulation, heating and air conditioning, lighting and much more. Bring your questions. This is a great way to kick off your summer home improvement projects.

ly Fami fun &s prize too!

RSVP at smud.org/etc, email etcmail@smud.org or call 916-732-6738

2. pomegranate Gifts for the home

9670 Bruceville Road in Elk Grove, (916) 686-9980, www.traderjoes.com

9084 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 686-8223

2. Nugget Markets 7101 Elk Grove Boulevard in Elk Grove, (916) 226-2626, www.nuggetmarket.com

smud.org/energyefficiencyexpo 0615-13

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Best mystery history spot ‘Chinese Diggings’ anD Cemeteries

by Jonathan mendick jonat hanm @new srev iew.c om

“ B e Ca r e f u l . ” This was the warning uttered by an employee of the Larkspur Landing Folsom hotel, the closest physical structure to a site dubbed “Chinese Diggings.” The diggings are listed on the California Points of Historical Interest list, despite not having any signage.

Having lived in Folsom for 15 years, the employee said she knew the site was there, but hadn’t yet crossed the black iron gate that leads to it. Nevertheless, she warned of steep cliffs and possible vagrants beyond the gates.

Other than a few wild turkeys, I encountered not a single living soul during a recent expedition to the historical site. But there were plenty of steep trenches—some as deep as 30 feet— on the triangle-shaped parcel of land between Highway 50, Folsom Boulevard and a strip mall across the street from the Folsom Premium Outlets. It’s the kind of place where—if you put on a fedora, leather jacket and hiking shoes—you might feel like Indiana Jones discovering a little-known yet vital piece of history.

The Chinese Diggings, or alternately, “Natoma Station Ground Sluice,” according to the California Historical Resources database, don’t really have any

PHOTOS BY TARAS GARCIA

The Young Wo Cemetery in Folsom is a serene reminder of the suburban city’s rich cultural history, which dates back to its gold-rush-era founding. Did you know Folsom’s first mayor was Chinese? Now you do.

artifacts. But there are a few wrappers, plastic bags and broken cups bearing the logo of a Taco Bell nearby.

The site is one of many in the area linked to the historic Chinese population of Folsom. Unfortunately, the Chung Wah Cemetery (also known as the Sam Yup-Sze Yup Cemetery)—listed on the National Register of Historic Places as being in the “Mormon Street Vicinity”—is currently off-limits to the public, according to the Folsom History Museum. Records show that in 1967, vandals ransacked and destroyed several graves, pawned jewelry and artifacts, and even displaced the bones of Folsom’s first mayor, Oak Chan.

But you can still visit the nearby Young Wo Cemetery on Forrest Street, which is one of the California Points of Historical Interest. A third Chinese cemetery just north of the Young Wo Cemetery “vanished during golddredging activities,” according to a plaque at the Young Wo Cemetery.

Sounds like a case for Indiana Jones.

The Chinese Diggings are located behind 121 Iron Point Road in Folsom; Young Wo Cemetery is located near Forrest Street and Young Wo Circle. Ω

writers’ piCks

photo by ryan donahue

Best spot to paint the town red the painted Cork The world is filled with two kinds of people: those born with the crafty gene and those for whom a glue gun turns into a weapon of mass destruction. For those who fall into the latter category, relax: The Painted Cork is less about showing off artistic talents and more about learning to wield a paint brush

and a wine glass at the same time. OK, sure, some of the people who attend these basic painting classes are, likely, actually serious about the craft. The rest of us, however, welcome the chance to quaff wine, munch on snacks and, oh yeah, give the old easel a go under the watchful eye of Kimberly Godinho, who, we’re sure, is totally not judging your talent or how much wine you throw back in the name of art. Note: Painting materials are included in the sign-up fee, but this is a strictly BYOB-type affair

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or two enjoyed on the shop’s outdoor patio Bier Garten (which is German for, um, “beer garden”). Choose from local craft beers on tap, a large selection of wines and tasty bites from a restaurant-style menu. There’s also live music!

And it’s probably not polka! The beer selection rotates weekly, and the garden often plays host to wine and tap-takeover tastings. It’s a brilliant concept, really—blow your paycheck on a week’s worth of groceries, and then forgo that home-cooked meal in favor of relaxing al fresco. 270 Palladio Parkway in Folsom, (916) 984-8500, http://wholefoodsmarket.com. R.L.

Best Baked Goods

PHOTO BY RYAN DONAHUE

Karen’s Bakery Café and Catering While it may be inevitable that Folsom will continue to get more and more uppity with each passing year, Karen’s Bakery Café and Catering is one of the best reasons I trek back out to the burb I grew up in. It may seem like a spot aimed squarely at white-picket fencers, but the food is really good—highfalutin sandwiches and salads, and an extensive pastry-and-dessert spread that changes with the seasons. Tucked between historic Sutter Street and the American River, it’s a good bike-ride or kayaking destination—or, rather, if you’re like me, a place where you will feel judged by many bike riders and kayakers as you eat that second almond croissant.

705 Gold Lake Drive in Folsom, (916) 985-2665, www.karensbakery.com. D.D.

Best place fosterinG the musical people Nicholson’s MusiCafe

writers’ picks

At The Painted Cork in Folsom, you paint, you drink, and you paint what you drink. The second-story studio hosts daily art classes and private parties for those who believe art looks better with wine goggles on. The Cork provides the supplies, you bring the vino.

continued from page 27

(bottle openers and plastic cups, however, are provided). Nonalcoholic beverages are OK, too.

801 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 899-0537, www.paintedcork.com. R.L.

Best mom date Three Stages at Folsom Lake College Maybe one day this gorgeous performing-arts palace near the center of Folsom Lake College’s concentric campus will add a little edge to its playbill. (Wouldn’t this be the perfect venue for Iggy Pop and his reunited Stooges to blast geezer punk cuts from their new album? Whadda ya mean, “No”?) For now, be grateful you have a classy venue to bring your parents or guardians on “date night.” Three Stages at Folsom Lake College’s current schedule is absolutely

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jam-packed with PG pleasures, such as Bye Bye Birdie, as well as an assortment of classicalmusic recitals, dance performances and Latin jazz. In June, the entertainment sets more au courant with blue-eyed soul man Bill Medley of the Righteous Brothers fame and a tribute to 1950s pop star Ricky Nelson. Sure, it ain’t old-man Iggy, but your mom will probably be thankful for that. 10 College Parkway in Folsom, (916) 608-6888, www.threestages.net. R.F.H.

Best German invasion Whole Foods Market Bier Garten It’s no secret that shopping at a Whole Foods Market can be torturous in that hurts-so-good kinda way: Hella good food, hella spendy bill. Ease the price-tag pain with a cold brew

Nestled in one of the many strip malls on East Bidwell Street in Folsom, The Nicholson Music Co. has been in the business of selling instruments for decades. Earlier this year, however, it branched out and opened Nicholson’s MusiCafe next door.

Besides promoting the use of caffeine—the cafe offers all of the standard hot and cold tea and coffee beverages, plus a pour-over bar and snacks—it bolsters the music community by providing a stage on which musicians can perform nearly anytime they like. There are weekly open-mics and free ukulele lessons, but any budding band or singer-songwriter can sign up for a slot on the calendar and gig out. And, as long as no one else is already scheduled, walk-ins are always welcome. As the kind young cashier said, “It’s better than the radio!”

632 E. Bidwell Street in Folsom, (916) 984-3020, www.facebook.com/nicholsonsmusicafe. S.

Best Bike-trail Brew destination Samuel Horne’s Tavern Here’s a bike ride you’ll want to stay frosty for: Limber up and take the bike trail all the way from downtown Sacramento to Old Town Folsom. It’s about 25 miles gently uphill, but whatever. The reward is eats and brews at Samuel Horne’s Tavern: It serves only American beers, and does so excellently (right temperature, proper glassware)—all complemented with gut-busting gastro-pub goodness (think blue-cheese-andbacon fries). Horne’s is the best beer haunt on

the main Sutter Street drag in Folsom, which is saying a lot, because there’s some other nice places, too (like the newly opened Fat Rabbit Public House). Bonus: If you get too drunk to bike back home, take light rail—there’s a stop nearby; it’s only $2.50. 719 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 293-8207, www.samhornes.com. N.M.

Best (case) liGht-rail stop Regional Transit’s Iron Point Station Yes, a 48-year-old cyclist did get fatally smacked near here in April when he ducked under the crossing arms, but this suburban way station is usually one of the safer Sacramento Regional Transit platforms to make eye contact at. It’s gotten great reviews from users of the Meetup website looking for a place to rendezvous and go hiking, for instance, and there’s usually more parking spots than panhandlers and loudmouths.

(High praise, we know.) This is the kind of small-scale train station where you can leave your earbuds in and zone out to Maroon 5, Susan Boyle or whatever it is that environmentally conscious, rush-hour-averse commuters listen to.

Just watch out for that outbound train. Folsom Boulevard and Iron Point Road, www.sacrt.com/ schedules/current/routes.stm. R.F.H.

Best Breakfast in a ’90s time capsule Lake Forest Cafe Should you find yourself in Folsom around breakfast time with a tricky case of chainrestaurant-induced nausea, Lake Forest Cafe is the antidote. The tiny cafe is homey in every sense of the word, inhabiting a small, ramshackle blue cottage overrun by a huge citrus tree in the front yard. Inside, the dining room is set with wood-carved chairs and tables, and is absolutely replete with fake plants. The menu is standard fare—mostly omelets and sandwiches—with Jewish culinary touches here and there in the form of latkes, kosher beef salami and a dish called Matzo-Bry a la Bunya. If you are hungover, do not miss Meaty Mike’s: bacon, sausage or ham with potatoes, onions, tomatoes, avocado and copious melted cheese, all cooked together in a pan and topped with sour cream. 13409 Folsom Boulevard in Folsom, (916) 985-6780, www. lakeforestcafe.com. D.D.

Best third-eye view Ann’s Psychic Gallery I see much adversity in your path and, perhaps, a love interest. You will find the job of your dreams. And, uh, maybe a new hobby. Or jury duty. I don’t know. I’m not any good at this. Truth be told, I never apprenticed in the mysterious art of palm readings or crystal balls. But take one look at the beautiful Wild West-looking building shouldered up against the Sutter Club Sports Bar, and you might just be willing to walk in and see what the future holds for you. Hopefully, it involves Deadwood’s Al Swearengen barking profanities at you from the balcony on your way out the door. 722 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 353-1161. D.K.

BeSt coffeehouSe 1. coffee Republic

BeSt ReStauRant 1. Sienna Restaurant 3909 Park Drive in El Dorado Hills, (916) 941-9694, www.siennarestaurants.com

2. Sutter Street Steakhouse 604 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 351-9100, www.sutterstreetsteakhouse.com

BeSt BuRgeR

6610 Folsom-Auburn Road, Suite 2 in Folsom; (916) 987-8001; www.facebook.com/ coffeerepublicfolsom

2. Karen’s Bakery cafÊ and catering 705 Gold Lake Drive in Folsom, (916) 985-2665, www.karensbakery.com

BeSt BaKeRy 1. Karen’s Bakery cafÊ and catering

1. Bidwell Street Bistro 1004 E. Bidwell Street in Folsom, (916) 984-7500, www.bidwellstreetbistro.com

2. Relish Burger Bar 1000 White Rock Road in El Dorado Hills, (916) 933-3111, http://relishburgerbar.com

2. Samuel horne’s tavern 719 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 293-8207, http://samhornes.com

705 Gold Lake Drive in Folsom, (916) 985-2665, www.karensbakery.com

2. BJ cinnamon 402 E. Bidwell Street in Folsom, (916) 608-8824, http://bjcinnamon.com

BeSt SPot foR a dRinK 1. Sutter club Sports Bar 720 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 351-1070

2. folsom hotel Saloon

BeSt Sandwich 1. Beach hut deli

703 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 985-2530, www.folsomhotelsaloon.com

718 Sutter Street, Suite 200 in Folsom; (916) 358-9645, www.beachhutdeli.com

BeSt Place foR a BeeR

2. Jack’s urban eats

1. Manderes

2756 E. Bidwell Street in Folsom, (916) 984-5553, http://jacksurbaneats.com

1004 E. Bidwell Street, Suite 600 in Folsom; (916) 986-9655; www.manderes.com

BeSt SuShi

2. Sudwerk Riverside Restaurant & Brewhouse

1. Sky Sushi 3907 Park Drive, Suite 125 in El Dorado Hills; (916) 941-6310; http://skysushi.net

2. Blue nami 330 Palladio Parkway in Folsom, (916) 983-3388, www.bluenamisushi.com

BeSt chineSe

9900 Greenback Lane in Folsom, (916) 989-9243, www.sudwerkriverside.com

BeSt date-night deStination 1. Powerhouse Pub 614 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 355-8586, www.powerhousepub.com

2. Sutter Street Steakhouse

1. hop Sing Palace 805 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 985-7309, www.hopsingpalace.com

2. folsom Palace

604 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 351-9100, www.sutterstreetsteakhouse.com

BeSt SPot foR faMily fun

1169 Riley Street in Folsom, (916) 983-8880, www.folsompalace.com

1. folsom lake

BeSt indian

1. Palladio 16 cinemas

www.parks.ca.gov/?page_id=500

1. india house

240 Palladio Parkway in Folsom, (916) 984-7469, www.cinemawest.com/pal.html

2776 E. Bidwell Street, Suite 300 in Folsom; (916) 817-4356; www.indiahouse-online.com

BeSt ShoPPing deStination

2. Ruchi indian cuisine

1. folsom Premium outlets

601 E. Bidwell Street in Folsom, (916) 983-2871, www.indianruchi.com

13000 Folsom Boulevard in Folsom, (916) 985-0312, www.premiumoutlets.com

2. historic Sutter Street

BeSt Pizza

Sutter Street in Folsom

1. chicago fire 310 Palladio Parkway in Folsom, (916) 984-0140; 614 Sutter Street in Folsom, (916) 353-0140; www.chicagofire.com

2. ciro’s Pizza cafe 241 Blue Ravine Road in Folsom, (916) 983-5757, www.cirospizza.com

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BeSt yoga SPot 1. Bikram yoga folsom 1013 Riley Street in Folsom, (916) 984-9000, http://bikramyogafolsom.com

2. leap yoga 1725 Iron Point Road in Folsom, (916) 608-5327, http://leapyoga.net

|

License# OE86569

191 Blue Ravine Road in Folsom, (916) 355-8555, www.skipolinispizza.com

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readers’ picks

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summer guide ON STANDS 06.13.13

15%

THIS SUMMER?

off sac’s largest selection of electronic cigarettes & e-liquid

Exp 05/22/13

• 1,000’s of products • factory direct pipes • concentrate & e-liquid specialist 4643 Freeport Blvd, Sacramento CA 95822 | 916.456.PIPE (7473) | www.bro-ham.com

th

7 r u o s ’ t i ! y r a s r e annilv th us! ebrate wi

THE HEAT

any item

$

15

(inc. tx)

choice INCLUDes your ine or of 1 glass of w e of beer, large plat rites. all your favo FREE a te e Soda & ic

CAN YOU STAND

Come ce MAY 21st • 5-9PM TUESday

GREEK DJ & BELLY DANCERS

PURCHASE TICKETS IN ADVANCE W/ CASHIER OR NIGHT OF PARTY

5644 J Street Phone orders welcome!: 916. 451.4000 Additional Parking @ 5700 J St. Visit us at www.EatAtOpa.com

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50% 0FF

Hoe a new row

Buy Buy 1 1 adult adult BuFFet BuFFet and and 2 2 drinks drinks get get 2nd 2nd 50% 50% oFF oFF

Preserve

original coupon only • no copies

200 Railroad Avenue in Winters, (530) 795-9963, www.preservepublichouse.com Practically every restaurant worth its hand-gathered fleur de sel is “farm-to-fork” these days.

There are myriad ways to do it, of course, but by Ann Martin Rolke locally, a little gem in Winters is successfully hoeing a new row.

The surprisingly large Preserve exists not far from the main intersection in this little ag-centric town—just a block from the old favorite, Putah Creek Cafe (1 Main Street).

It’s steampunk in its sensibilities, with heavy wood and riveted metal tables and a fashionably rusted delivery truck parked next to the back patio. The menu has an Old West-style Rating: font but boasts 21st-century offerings.

HHH Winters local Cole Ogando owns the restaurant. His background is in construction, dinner for one: hence the impressive interior. Recently, he $10 - $15 hired chef Robert Thompson away from Las Vegas to revamp the menu and make more use of local ingredients.

Currently, Preserve offers an all-day menu of bar snacks, salads, sides, pizza and sandwiches. It has unusually late hours—open until midnight on Wednesdays and Thursdays and until 2 a.m. on weekends. It’s the perfect stopover after a show at the nearby Palms H Playhouse. flAWed Thompson plans to introduce more small HH plates and entrees in the next few months but hAs moments will keep some of the current favorites. Chief HHH among those is the Preserve platter of cured AppeAling meats and cheeses, with überlocal Mariani dried fruit and nuts, olives, and Grandma HHHH AuthoRitAtive Ogando’s jalapeño jelly. Crisp slices of Acme Bread Company baguette make a good founHHHHH epic dation for smears of triple-crème Brie and spicy-sweet jelly. While some of the charcuterie is made in-house, expect more offerings soon. Local cheeses make appearances, too, although the servers may need more education on that front. Be sure to ask for details.

Salads include house-cured salmon with blood oranges and avocado, and beets with Still hungry? farmer cheese and red-onion jam. The pizzas search sn&R’s are individually sized, with a flavorful fresh “dining directory” to find local tomato sauce and plenty of Parmesan cheese. restaurants by name The crusts are nothing special, though; they’d or by type of food. be better crisper and thinner or thicker and sushi, mexican, indian, chewier. italian—discover it There are lots of sandwiches, all served all in the “dining” section at with supercrunchy potato chips and a pickle. www.news The slow-smoked brisket with garlic aioli review.com. is deliciously tender and not too fatty.

Caramelized onions are a perfect complement.

The pulled pork is meltingly succulent, with pickled jalapeño and shallots. Both are served on the aforementioned Acme buns. Surely Thompson can find more local options?

There’s an unusual vegetarian option, with shredded carrots, slivered almonds and Gouda on rye bread. It has an oddly sweet flavor reminiscent of raisins. Some of Grandma O’s jelly would be a better fit

1 coupon per table. cannot be combined with any other offer. expires 05/30/13

here. The Italian is stuffed with charcuterie and cheese, plus housemade tapenade.

There’s also a kids’ menu, with the usual PB&J and hot-dog options. The grilled-cheese is pretty top-notch, though—it’s extra crunchy from the panini press.

The beverage menu is more developed.

There are 21 taps featuring a great variety of craft brews. Visitors can taste flights of hoppy beers, far-flung favorites or nearby choices—a nice way to compare different options. The requisite house cocktails are interesting. A Gin Granada combines Junipero Gin, ginger liqueur, and pomegranate jelly. The Shandy mixes house-made zingy ginger beer with Jack Daniel’s and a merlot-salt rim. Several Yolo County wines, including some from Turkovich Family Wines, are listed.

In fact, Turkovich once leased the glassenclosed room behind the bar to make its cheese. In the future, Thompson hopes to use that space for more canning and pickling.

In general, the food is quite good but needs a few more of those unique additions, like in-house sausages and jams to set it apart. Think of it as a slowly fermenting pickle—working on a transcendent flavor that’s almost there. Ω

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Downtown Estelle’s Patisserie With its marble

Where to eat?

Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations by Becky Grunewald, Greg Lucas, Ann Martin Rolke, Garrett McCord and Jonathan Mendick, updated regularly.

Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

tables and light wooden chairs, there’s an airy atmosphere, casual and cozy. Estelle’s offers an espresso bar and a wide assortment of teas and muffins and rolls for the breakfast crowd as well as sweets, including DayGlo macarons. For the lunch-inclined, there are soups, salads, sandwiches and meat or meatless quiche. One of the authentic touches is the spare use of condiments. The smoked salmon is enlivened by dill and the flavor of its croissant. Its tomato bisque is thick and richly flavored, and, in a nice touch, a puff pastry floats in the tureen as accompaniment. There’s a lot to like about Estelle’s—except dinner. Doors close at 6pm. French. 901 K St., (916) 551-1500. Meal for one: $5-$10. HHH1⁄2 G.L.

Grange Restaurant & Bar You won’t find any “challenging” dishes on this menu—just delicious local and seasonal food such as the Green Curry & Pumpkin Soup, which has a Southeast Asian flair. A spinach salad features ingredients that could be considered boring elsewhere: blue-cheese dressing, bacon, onion. But here, the sharply cheesy buttermilk dressing and the woodsy pine nuts make it a salad to remember. Grange’s brunch puts other local offerings to shame.

The home fries are like marvelously crispy Spanish patatas bravas. A grilled-ham-andGruyere sandwich is just buttery enough, and an egg-white

frittata is more than a bone thrown to the cholesterolchallenged; it’s a worthy dish in its own right. American.

926 J St., (916) 492-4450. Dinner for one: $40-$60. HHHH B.G.

and lunch menu. One offering is a firm wedge of frittata with a strong tang of sharp cheddar that almost but doesn’t quite jibe with the slightly spicy mole sauce on the plate.The spinach curry, made creamy by coconut milk rather than dairy, comes topped with cubes of tofu and tiny diced scallion and red bell pepper and rests atop a smooth potato cake. A side of garbanzobean salad is well-flavored with the surprising combination of mint and apricot. The place, located inside Ancient Future, has “chocolat” in the name, and chocolate is in many of the menu offerings, including a tiny cup of hot Mexican drinking chocolate, and chocolatecherry scones served crisp and hot, studded with big chunks of bittersweet chocolate and tart dried cherries. American. $10-$15. 2331 K St., (916) 476-3754. HHH B.G.

Zia’s Delicatessen Zia’s Delicatessen isn’t really about trying every sandwich: It’s about finding your sandwich.

In addition to a large selection of salumi, there’s the worthy eponymous offering, served with a wedge of zucchini frittata, a slice of provolone, romaine lettuce, grainy tomato, and a simple dash of vinegar and oil that adds tang.

Order it hot, so that the provolone melts into the bread.

Also tasty: the hot meatball sub with small-grained, tender meatballs bathed in a thin, oregano-flecked tomato sauce that soaks into the bread. A tuna sandwich is sturdy, if not exciting. It is just mayonnaisey enough, with tiny, diced bits of celery.

A rosemary panino cotto with mozzarella could benefit from a more flavorful cheese. For a meatier option, try the Milano: mortadella, salami, Muenster; all three flavors in balance.

The turkey Viareggio has a thin spread of pesto mayo, and the smoked mozzarella accents rather than overpowers. American. 1401 O St., Ste. A; (916) 441-3354. $5-$10.

HHHH B.G.

Hook & Ladder Manufacturing Co.

Midtown 24K Chocolat Cafe This cafe serves a solid, if very limited, brunch

The restaurant, by the same owners as Midtown’s The Golden Bear, sports a firefighting theme (a ladder on the ceiling duct work, shiny silver wallpaper with a rat-and-hydrant motif, et al) and a bar setup that encourages patrons to talk to each other. An interesting wine list includes entries from Spain and Israel; there are also draft cocktails and numerous beers on tap. The brunch menu is heavy on the eggs, prepared in lots of ways. One option is the Croque Madame, a ham-andGruyere sandwich usually battered with egg. This one had a fried egg and béchamel, with a generous smear of mustard

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inside. The mountain of potato hash alongside tasted flavorful and not too greasy. The menu also features pizzas and house-made pastas, but one of its highlights includes an excellent smoked-eggplant baba ganoush, which is smoky and garlicky and served with warm flatbread wedges and oil-cured olives. The bananas foster bread pudding is equally transcendent, accompanied by very salty caramel gelato, pecans and slivers of brûléed bananas. American. 1630 S St., (916) 442-4885. Dinner for one: $20-$40. HHH1/2 A.M.R.

LowBrau This place specializes in beer and bratwursts. Both are done smashingly. The sausage is wrapped in a tight, snappy skin like a gimp suit, which gets nicely charred by the chefs.

Within it lies a beguilingly spicy and juicy piece of meat. Get it with a pretzel roll for a truly exciting experience. There are vegan options, too: The Italian, an eggplant-based brat, has a surprisingly sausagelike texture that no self-respecting carnivore will turn it down for lack of flavor. Toppings include sauerkraut, a “Bier Cheese” sauce and caramelized onions.

The idea behind Duck Fat Fries is a glorious one, yet somehow still falls short. You just expect something more when you see the words “duck fat.” The beer selection is epic. If you’re lost and confused, the staff will help guide you to the right brew via questionings and encouraged tastings. German.

1050 20th St., (916) 706-2636. $10-$15. HHHH G.M.

East Sac Istanbul Bistro Turkish chef Murat Bozkurt and brother Ekrem co-own this paean to their homeland, with Ekrem usually at the front of the house, infusing the space with cheer. Turkish cuisine features aspects of Greek, Moroccan and Middle Eastern flavors. The appetizer combo plate offers an impressive sampling. Acili ezme is a chopped, slightly spicy mixture of tomatoes, cucumber and walnuts that’s delicious paired with accompanying flatbread wedges. For entrees, try the borani, a lamb stew with garbanzos, carrots, potatoes and currants. The meat is very tender, while the veggies arrived nicely al dente. Also good is the chicken shish plate (souvlaki), which features two skewers of marinated grilled chicken that’s moist and succulent. There are also quite a few choices for vegetarians, including flatbread topped like pizza, with spinach and feta or mozzarella and egg.

Turkish. $15-$20. 3260-B J St., (916) 449-8810. HHH1/2 A.M.R.

North Sac Asian Café Asian Café serves both Thai and Lao food, but go for the Lao specialties, which rely on flavoring staples such as fish sauce, lime juice, galangal and lemongrass, lots of herbs, and chilies. One of the most common dishes in Lao cuisine is larb, a dish of chopped meat laced

with herbs, chilies and lime. At Asian Café, it adds optional offal add-ons—various organ meats, entrails, et al—to three versions of the dish: beef with tripe, chicken with gizzards, or pork with pork skin. The beef salad offers a gentle respite from aggressive flavors, consisting of medium-thick chewy slices of eye of round with red bell pepper, chopped iceberg and hot raw jalapeño. The single best dish here is the nam kao tod, a crispy entree with ground pork that’s baked on the bottom of the pan with rice, then stirred and fried up fresh the next day with dried Thai chilies and scallions. Thai and Lao. 2827 Norwood Ave., (916) 641-5890. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHHH B.G.

South Sac Blue Moon Cafe and Karaoke In Sac, most people equate Hong Kong-style cuisine with dim sum, but this restaurant, which also features private karaoke rooms, serves up tasty, familiar food by way of rice plates, sandwiches, noodle bowls, soups and stir-fries.

A few random Japanese (ramen, fried udon), French (sweet or savory crepes), Russian (borscht), Korean (beef and kimchi hot pot) and Italian (various pastas) foods add to the feeling that whatever your cultural background, you’ll find a comfort dish from your childhood to wrap its arms around you and give you a hug. Cultural diversity aside, one of Blue Moon’s best dishes is the braised pig ear with soy

Arden/ Carmichael El Pollo Feliz For a restaurant dubbed “the happy chicken,” El Pollo Feliz sure smokes a lot of birds. These chickens get one heck of an afterlife: Their parts are rubbed with earthy Mexican spices and then slowcooked in a smoker for hours.

The restaurant’s signature dish is barbecue chicken, and customers can purchase wings, breasts, drumsticks and thighs in a variety of amounts. You can also order it covered in a chocolatey and peppery mole-poblano sauce; shredded and scattered atop a plate of nachos; on top of a salad; inside a torta-style sandwich; or stuffed into a burrito. There’s a friendly neighborhood vibe here, and much of the cooking happens in the parking lot directly in front of the momand-pop joint. 4717 Whitney Ave., Carmichael; (916) 485-4446.

Mexican. Dinner for one: $5-$15.

HHHH J.M.

Skip’s Kitchen You know you’re at an American restaurant when a cheeseburger is one of the healthiest items on the menu.

Sure enough, Skip’s Kitchen features a lot of calorie-rich items, such as fried macaroniand-cheese balls, ravioli, chicken strips, chicken wings and shrimp, plus creamy Oreo milkshakes. There are salads, too, but the best dish on the

menu is the burger. All five styles (original, mushroom and Swiss, bacon and cheddar, three-cheese, and Western) are served on a brioche bun and cooked “medium,” unless otherwise specified. The kitchen offers a house-made veggie burger as well. If there’s such a thing as a “gourmet” burger that can rightfully sell for $10, this is probably it. American.

4717 El Camino Ave. in Carmichael, (916) 514-0830.

Dinner for one: $10-$20.

HHH1/2 J.M.

Taqueria Garibaldi One of this restaurant’s biggest pulls is its choice of meats. The chorizo is red, crispy and greasy in all the best ways.

The lengua (tongue) is soft and dreamily reminiscent of only the most ethereal bits of beef. The fish is fine and flaky and the cabeza and pork are herculean in flavor options worthy of note, too. Tacos are small and served on two tiny tortillas (flour or corn, your call) with a bit of house salsa that has all the kick of a pissed off Girl Scout who’s just tall enough to nail you right under the kneecap. Or, feel free to customize, too, courtesy of the fully loaded salsa bar. Be sure to pick up a glass of the homemade horchata, which is sweet and milky with seductive whispers of cinnamon. You will want seconds. Mexican. 1841 Howe Ave., (916) 924-0108. Dinner for one: $8-$10. HHH G.M.

Land Park/ Curtis Park

IllustratIon by Mark stIvers

sauce and peanuts. Asian.

5000 Freeport Blvd., Ste. A; (916) 706-2995. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHH J.M.

for all. The liquor selection is basic (no craft cocktails here).

The menu’s heavy on fried appetizers, salads, sandwiches and burgers, the latter of which are architectural, towering assemblages. Happily, the fluffy charred buns are sturdy enough to hold up when the tower is squeezed to a more realistic height. A meaty veggie burger (one of three veggie sandwich options) gets crunch from fried pickles and sweet heat from barbecue sauce. Overall, the Hideaway offers cheap beer, adequate bar food and a comfortable place to hang with out friends. American. 2565 Franklin Blvd., (916) 455-1331. Dinner for one: $10-$15. HHH1/2 B.G.

Buffalo Pizza & Ice Cream Co. The eatery, which offers take-out only, keeps the menu simple.

Customers can choose from two types of pies: breakfast or lunch. Breakfast pizzas consist of standard pizza dough, on top of which rests a thin layer of egg, cheese and toppings (read: no sauce).

One pepperoniand-jalapeños morning pie starts off well, but then the dough disappoints.

It doesn’t quite fit in either the “thick” or “thin” category; it’s not yeasty enough and too chewy and firm. A mushroomand-spinach pie offers better texture. Lunch pizzas here are less unique, but still hit a nice mark via a few standout ingredients. The garlic pizza reaches a nice balance of sweet and salty with a creamy white sauce, mushrooms, onions, pepperoni and sausage.

Buffalo also offers Gunther’s Ice Cream, side salads, fried chicken and canned sodas, but here, it’s breakfast pizza for the win. American. 2600 21st St., (916) 451-6555. $10-$20.

HHH1/2 J.M.

Pangaea Two Brews Cafe Tables, tall and short, are large and communal, fostering that casual camaraderie that should be the goal of any selfrespecting brewpub. There’s a fairly extensive menu, including breakfast items. Not to put too fine a point on it: Pangaea’s offerings are not beers that will be found at a Save Mart Supermarket or even Nugget.

They are nuanced. Brewed with artisanship. In some cases, for hundreds of years. There’s the usual panoply of French dip, hot pastrami, Reuben and so on.

Among the signature offerings is The Gobbler. Turkey, natch.

Cranberry sauce, natch. Then red onion, several roma tomato slices, a thicket of green leaf and pepper jack cheese, all shoehorned into a big baguette.

Brewpub. 2743 Franklin Blvd., (916) 454-4942. Dinner for one: $10-$20. HHH1⁄2 G.L.

The Hideaway Bar & Grill This bar fills a niche Sacramento might not have known it lacked with its vague rockabilly vibe, lots of greased hair on the men, brightly dyed hair in retro styles and cat-eye glasses on the ladies, and an abundance of black clothes and tattoo sleeves

Awesome sauce I’m a sauce person. In other words, depending on the meal, I’m always slathering on extra salsa, sriracha, soy or fish sauce. Therefore, I was happy to hear that SN&R salespeople Kelsi White and Dave Nettles recently started a sauce company called Ocean Beach Foods Co., which currently produces Tikki Masala Sauce and Taqueria Sauce (both vegan). Each 12-ounce jar (which features a label designed by former SN&R design manager Kate Murphy) is made from local ingredients and without preservatives.

They’re currently available at Taylor’s Market (2900 Freeport Boulevard), the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-op (1900 Alhambra Boulevard) and the Midtown Farmers Market Sacramento (2020 J Street on Saturdays, 8 a.m. to 1 p.m.). According to Nettles, the Taqueria Sauce best pairs with any Mexican dish featuring carne asada. And the Tikki Masala Sauce pairs well with a simple meat (or tofu) and vegetable stir-fry, according to the label.

An Indian curry sauce and a salsa verde are currently in the works, says White. Visit http://tinyurl.com/oceanbeachfoodsco for details.

—Jonathan Mendick

3 hours 3 bucks 3 fires 3pm – 6pm monday – friday • all well drinks $3 • all domestic beer $3 • house champagne, cab, chard & white zin $3 •small plates & flatbreads half off

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FIND OF THE WEEK

Unbreakable AmericA’s clAyFest

Nailed it inspired by pinterest: succulent GArdens Perhaps some people have actually completed those DIY projects posted on Pinterest, but plenty have failed (see www.pinterestfail.com). Local CLASS blogger Rayan Turner (www.thedesign confidential.com) and Home Depot are teaming up to make sure that you can say, “Nailed it.” Turner will be at a Home Depot in Roseville (10001 Fairway Drive) at 6:30 p.m. on Thursday, May 16, to kick off a new monthly Inspired by Pinterest series of classes. http://workshops.homedepot.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

Stout or pout Firestone WAlker breWinG compAny’s pArAbolA So, you missed out on Parabola, the überpopular special-release Russian imperial stout by Central California’s Firestone Walker Brewing Company? Bummer. But hold your head high: One, there may still be bottles floating around (I snagged mine at the West Sacramento Nugget Market—thanks, Curtis!); and two, I hear a few places (read: Pangaea Two Brews Cafe, 2743 Franklin Boulevard) have kegs on standby. It’s worth the hunt: a balanced bourbon, vanilla and coffee nose gives way to an earthy, malty, licorice-esque and mildly boozy, 13 percent ABV stout. I don’t mean to rub it in, and there BEER are other totally decent imperial stouts easier to locate: Dieu du Ciel’s Aphrodisiaque (Aphrodite), De Struise Brouwers’ Black Albert and AleSmith Brewing Company’s Speedway Stout.

—Nick Miller

Little playground of horrors the uninvited This unsettling mystery-thriller possesses elements of horror as well as apocalyptic overtones. The protagonist of Liz Jensen’s The Uninvited (Bloomsbury USA, $25) is Hesketh Lock, a brilliant fellow with AsBOOK perger’s syndrome who works as a claims investigator for a British firm. He can’t help but look for patterns and rely on observations when he detects something abnormal about some recent, exceptionally bloody violence from very young children. Working in Taiwan, he finds that some children there are also engaging in sudden violent acts. Part mystery and part ghost story with a double twist, The Uninvited might make you keep your distance from the playground.

—Kel Munger

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Lincoln is a clay town, and for a quarter of a century, the 135-yearold Gladding, McBean clay factory in Lincoln, just north of Roseville, was the perfect venue for Feats of Clay, an annual juried exhibit of stellar ceramic work—in content and execution. For years, ART visitors toured the working factory to see art displayed in a beehive kiln. It was a ceramic show like no other.

But last year, alleged internal issues at Lincoln Arts, sponsor of the show, closed Feats before it even opened. The result: Last fall, approximately 30 artists convened to form the Art League of Lincoln, a 250-members-strong nonprofit arts entity.

Now, although the League is still sans permanent digs, it’s revived Feats as America’s ClayFest. When complications related to the Americans with Disabilities Act compliance forced Gladding, McBean to pull out as the venue, Roseville’s Blue Line Arts gallery (405 Vernon Street, Suite 100 in Roseville) offered its space. For the show, the juror, ceramic artist Richard Shaw, chose 79 pieces from 330 entries, some from Canada and Hungary. Featured artists include the Austin, Texas-based Kate Nelson and Sacramento’s John Lennertz (whose bust of a bald, bearded man is pictured above). The show runs through Saturday, June 1.

The clay town is also poised to celebrate this most humble of art mediums on Lincoln Clay Day, Saturday, May 18, in Beermann Downtown Plaza (640 Fifth Street). Here, visitors can carve on an unfired clay sewer pipe and enjoy music, food and artist wares. For more information, check out the League’s website at www.all4art.net.

—Saunthy Nicolson-Singh

CHANGE is GOOD

Sext education

Remind your daughter that nothing disappears from the Internet. Photos that appear for an instant before disappearing can easily be saved and shared.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question—all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

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“I was doing that thing the infatuated do, stitching destiny onto the person we want stitched to us,” writes Rachel Kushner in her novel The Flamethrowers. Do you need to rip out the seams of a fantasy and fall in love with reality instead?

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Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

Meditation of the Week

AS SE S EC IA LI ZE D CL ✔ G RO U P SP SE SS G U ES S. W E AS ✔ W E DO N ’T TR AI N IN G AL TY IN TE RV SI N TE N -I H IG ✔H IN G + CO N DI TI O N ✔ ST RE N G TH

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Tell her that you wish you had talked with her about dating, sexual activity and relationships. All the while, acknowledge to yourself that this behavior is not new. In the 1950s and 1960s, adults snapped naked pics using Polaroid instant cameras. In the two decades that followed, people made homemade sex tapes. Technology and exhibitionism advance hand in hand. But sexting and its popular variants filter through our porn culture and are trending with teens. That’s dangerous. Many junior-high and highschool students consider sexting essential to courtship. They confuse sexual attraction and sexual attention with love and commitment.

Your belief in your daughter’s perfection probably kept her from confessing that she had crossed the line. She can’t confide in you without changing your perception of her. If you allow her to be human,

she can admit her faults, secrets and fears to you and to other trusted adults. No matter how balanced you imagine a teen might be, she or he is not a mature adult.

Remind your daughter that nothing disappears from the Internet.

Photos that appear for an instant before disappearing can easily be saved and shared. Explain that her 15 minutes of privacy are over. Then, talk about the job market. There’s a space on some job applications for potential employees to write their social-media handles and passwords. It’s an employer’s way of determining the true personality of applicants. It’s also a hedge against hiring people who are likely to badmouth or embarrass the company.

Applicants who are unwilling to provide the requested information are often ineligible for employment.

This is a trend likely to become the norm by the time your daughter hits the job market.

You can also point out that sexting is akin to submitting a nude photo and phone number for inclusion on the front page of your community newspaper. If she shrugs that off, play hardball. Replace her smartphone, temporarily, with a basic pay-as-you-go model. Collect her phone at night, keep it in your bedroom, and return it to her before she leaves for school. Do random phone checks. Shut down all of her social-media sites. Allow her to see her boyfriend, if you wish, but only in the company of you or his parents. And get his parents on board so you have a united front. Let her know in advance how long these rules will be enforced (for example, 30 days) and stick to that commitment before reinstating privileges.

Don’t be afraid of your daughter, and don’t try to be her friend.

Become what she really needs: a conscious, involved parent capable of chaperoning her through life. Ω

24th Street

I caught my 14-year-old daughter sexting nude photos of herself to her boyfriend.

There were salacious text messages, too. I am shocked. I never thought I had to worry about her because she seemed to have her priorities straight. When I confronted her, she was frighteningly nonchalant. I can’t seem to get through to her that behavior like this can be made public at any time and completely ruin

by Joey ga her reputation and life. What rcia suggestions do you have to get through to my daughter? a s kj oe y @ ne wsreview.c om Adolescents are itching to be accepted as adults, but their developing brains often lag behind Joey the ability to envision consequences. wants you to see Teens are especially quick to dismiss the 24-hour film old-school advice. So don’t tell your installation, daughter that you know she will The Clock. ruin her reputation; she is aware that you’re not a seer. Plus, in her peer group, sexting is likely promoted as a means of enhancing popularity. Rely instead on your connection with her.

Do say you care and are worried.

Admit that you neglected to teach her good decision-making skills.

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COMING OUT OF THE AIR VENTS

SENIOR DANCE CONCER T Dancespace, Solano 1010

STAGE Can’t stop, won’t stop How We Got On

MAY 9-19, 2013

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PHOTO COURTESY OF THE B STREET THEATRE

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Who’d have thunk it? I’ll admit, I was surprised.

The B Street Theatre has staged a new play about black and Latino teens aspiring to fame, by Jeff Hudson or at least local recognition, as rappers in 1988.

And rather than bolt for the exits, the B Street audience—predominantly white folks of a certain age, who were well past their teens during the decade in question (a description that applies to this reviewer)—embraced the show warmly on opening night.

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“Seriously, man, someday you’re going to regret that shirt.”

How We Got On, 8 p.m.

Thursday, Friday; 5 and 9 p.m. Saturday; 2 p.m.

Sunday; 6:30 p.m.

Tuesday; Wednesday 2 and 6:30 p.m.; $5-$35. B Street Theatre, 2711 B Street; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org.

Through June 23.

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Of course, let’s note that playwright Idris Goodwin has placed How We Got On in a pleasant Midwestern suburb—these kids order pizza in a strip mall, climb the town’s water tower on a dare by night and ride bicycles to high school. It’s not a hard-edged urban scene, and there’s not a weapon in sight (though they refer to “the city” as being not so far away). As the play’s title implies, it’s a peaceable saga.

Goodwin’s script—interpreted by B Street director Buck Busfield, visiting sound designer Elisheba Ittoop and visiting actors (three have appeared in previous productions elsewhere, and brought their dance steps with them)—lays out a competitive friendship between the somewhat cerebral, lyric-scribbling Hank (Terrell Donnell Sledge) and the stage-capable Julian (Brian Quijada), who can swagger, but can’t spin his own words. They’re joined by Luann (Deonna Bouye), a girl (!) capable of improvisation and willing to show Hank how it’s done.

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Throughout, the Selector (PaSean Wilson) presides behind a turntable, genially explaining (for elders) how rap numbers were structured and produced using the technology of the time.

The Selector also represents the kids’ rap-skeptical fathers (an academic, a pressured sales rep and a professional athlete, respectively). This glimpsed parent-teen relationship, with the kids struggling to justify their music, is one of this show’s ancillary payoffs.

The story fades into the future more than it resolves, but that’s all right. How We Got On works nicely as a slice of life that illuminates a particular place and time, with some appealing young characters who are finding themselves. Ω

4

One for all The Three Musketeers

Everyone’s favorite rapier-wielding protectors of France get a fresh makeover in this adaptation of Alexandre Dumas’ classic The Three Musketeers.

Dana Friedman presents her adaptation for the first time on the B Street Theatre’s smaller Family Series stage. D’Artagnan (John Lamb) is a young swordsman who wants to become a famous musketeer and joins up with three established fighters to save France from the corrupt (and hilarious) Cardinal Richelieu (Rick Kleber).

The material, directed by Buck Busfield, is still fresh and puerile, something that aids the storytelling. Athos (Greg Alexander) is still the reluctant leader; Aramis (Josiah Correll), the lazy man; and Porthos (Kleber), the consummate indulger. The actions of the book are made obvious onstage for kids, and adults have the chance to join in at some great grown-up jokes.

The set is a wonderfully colorful presentation, thanks to designer Samantha Reno, and makes the costumes and characters even brighter. Family Series shows generally get a set that breaks down for the evening’s “serious” theater production. For this show, however, the set stays in tact, so luxuries can be afforded; unhindered by any other productions performing in the space, this show gets the chance to stretch its legs, visually speaking.

The costumes also serve their purpose, but the highlight comes from Kleber’s changes from Porthos to Richelieu and back, something that will keep any kid laughing.

Another benefit to seeing Family Series shows at B Street is that it’s one of the few places in Sacramento audiences can see half-adozen equity actors romping around in a children’s play. This, in itself, is reason to bring the kids for an afternoon of theater with an important message about honor and patriotism.

—Maxwell McKee The Three Musketeers, 1 and 4 p.m. Saturday, Sunday. $18-$27. The B Street Theatre at the B3 Stage, 2727 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. Through June 2.

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BLOOD BROTHERS

This ’80s musical about ’60s-era Liverpool twins separated at birth and mothers with secrets explores social disparities and brotherly bonds. It’s an odd tale that shouldn’t work but ends up a compelling, suspenseful and satisfying show. F, Sa 8pm; Su 7pm. Through 5/19. $18. Green Valley Theatre Company at The Grange Performing Arts Center, 3823 V St., (916) 736-2664; www.greenvalleytheatre.com. P.R.

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4

A LITTLE PRINCESS

Set in London circa 1905, this musical features a Scrooge-like boarding-school headmistress (the icy Deborah Tranelli); a Cockney-ish beggar (David McDaniel); a stout constable (Jeffrey Lloyd Heatherly), with funny deadpan lines; and a maid named Mariette.

But primarily, this is a father-daughter tale of riches to rags to riches again, involving perky Sara Crewe (Lauren Metzinger and Alyssa Middleton) and Captain Crewe (Jerry Lee, as living dad and paternal ghost). W, Th 12:30 & 6:30pm;

‘burb.

F 8pm; Sa 2 & 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 5/19.

$15-$38. Sacramento Theatre Company, 1419 H St.; (916) 443-6722; www.sactheatre.org. J.H.

4

NEXT FALL

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PRIVATE EYES

Geoffrey Nauffts’ play about a gay couple—one’s an evangelical Christian, the other is agnostic—and their struggles with what that difference means takes on great import when one is faced with a lifethreatening injury. Benjamin T. Ismail directs, with Rob August and Jon Jackson as the lovers who are truly an “odd” couple. F, Sa 8pm; Th 5/23 8pm. Through 5/24. $15-$20. Resurrection Theatre at the Three Penny Theatre, 1723 25th St.; (916) 223-9568; www.resurrectiontheatre.com. K.M.

SAFE Freedom Checking

This comedy about the emotional twists of infidelity and deception by Steven Dietz relies on some neat narrative tricks—and a fantastic trio of actors (Bert Anderson, Kristine David and Dan Featherston) to keep the audience guessing and laughing. Jouni Kirjola directs, with strong supporting work from Nina Collins and Gregory Smith. Th, F, Sa 8pm.

Through 5/25. $10-$16. Big Idea Theatre, 1616 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 960-3036; www.bigideatheatre.com. K.M.

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2 5 0 8 L A N D PA R K D R I V E L A N D PA R K & B R O A D WAY F R E E PA R K I N G A D J A C E N T T O T H E AT R E “THOROUGHLY ENJOYABLE.”

“A FINELY CHISELED THRILLER.”

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WED/THUR: 11:05AM, 1:40, 4:20, 7:05, 9:45PM FRI-TUES: 11:05AM, 4:15, 9:30PM

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“POWERFUL.”-Moira MacDonald, SEATTLE TIMES

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Stone-cold boring The Iceman

STARTS FRI., 5/17

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Its title and the gentle stress on Chris Evans in a supporting role notwithstanding, The Iceman is in no way another comic-book by Jonathan Kiefer spin-off. Instead, it’s a merely adequate mob thriller—another type of movie you reasonably but wrongly thought had become exhausted by now.

Early on, Ray Liotta points a gun at Michael Shannon’s face and calls him cold as ice for not flinching. “Why do you act like you don’t give a shit?” Liotta even asks, as if on behalf of all of us who’ve wondered that about every macho mob-thriller asshole ever, but Shannon’s face remains impassive. That unanswered question is, unsatisfyingly, the

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essence of the movie, which director Ariel Vromen and co-writer Morgan Land adapted from the life story of actual mafia-affiliated serial killer Richard Kuklinski, here played as more or less an acting exercise for the towering, unchallenged Shannon. It’s all straight goombah-movie stuff: the tense loyalty tests, the murder montages, the business-is-business loose ends in need of ruthless tying up, the escalating threats to family and so on.

Shannon’s still a terrific and eccentric performer, with a piquant sort of anti-charisma that’s well worth building a gloomy movie around. (For better proof, rent Take Shelter.)

But he’s let down by The Iceman’s surfacelevel view of a guy who sometimes was a sociopath. (He had a rule about not hurting women or children—so, you know, “honor.”)

Failure to connect is of the essence here, but not in quite the right way. Maybe the problem has to do with the filmmakers’ apparent strategy for finding a dramatic shape: This happened, so here’s the movie about it, and because it’s one of these movies, here’s Ray Liotta for context. Of course, Liotta seems perfectly content to have been typecast; his whole “Hey, it’s what I do” vibe makes him just about as agreeable as a mobster who points accusing guns in people’s faces possibly can be. But ultimately, it’s not his movie.

Evans, too, seems happy to be here, scuffing up his mom-and-apple-pie image in the role of a scuzzy rival who becomes Kuklinski’s uneasy business partner. With hints of the familiar near-desperation that you see in franchise players “branching out,” his might be the highest-stakes performance in the film. But no, it’s not his movie either.

Another reason for the title is Kuklinski’s eventual habit of freezing his victims’ corpses to obscure their times of death. Otherwise, he was a devoted family man, with a wife (Winona Ryder), two daughters and a lush patch of fashionably modulating facial hair in suburban 1970s New Jersey. The wife, blissfully unaware that early in their courtship he cut a guy’s throat for insulting her honor, seemed pleased to have him for a provider, and maintained her blissful unawareness for many years.

Where Shannon gets free rein, Ryder’s performance seems strangely hampered, but it’s hard to tell whether that’s from the limits of her range or from those of the material. Not that you’ll ever be shaking your fist and shouting, “Damn you, The Iceman, you could’ve been such a great Winona Ryder vehicle. If only, if only!” Goombah-movie wives never seem to get a fair deal. Also, some perfunctory backstory is supplied during a scene in which Kuklinski visits his brother (Stephen Dorff) in prison, and there are standout appearances by David Schwimmer and James Franco, which serve mostly to encourage your suspicion that they won’t end well.

Here, scenes of killers nonchalantly butchering human cadavers somehow register less strongly than Michael Shannon’s shapeshifting goatee.

All the while, Shannon goes icily about his lethal business. Tension is taken for granted, which tends to undermine its effectiveness as tension. In one promisingly unconventional if very possibly fact-based touch, Vromen proffers a deathless cat as harbinger of climactic unraveling. But that’s way late in the game. Otherwise, The Iceman is a film in which scenes of killers nonchalantly butchering human cadavers or blowing cyanide in people’s eyes somehow register less strongly than the meticulous design of Michael Shannon’s shapeshifting goatee.

As for the rest of him, well, at least he’ll get to play a proper comic-book villain in Man of Steel later this summer. Ω

by JONATHAN KIeFeR & JIM LANe

2

Arthur Newman

A Florida man (Colin Firth) fakes his suicide and hits the road with a new identity to start a new life. He teams up with a woman who’s also fleeing from her past (Emily Blunt), and they embark on a spree of breaking into people’s homes, dressing in their clothes and having sex in their beds. Becky Johnston’s script tries for a kind of Harold and Maude vibe, but director Dante Ariola can’t quite summon the iconoclastic style such an approach would require, and the movie just kind of lies there in a drab, schlubby puddle. The stars do what they can with their roles—which, under the right circumstances, can be considerable— but the material defeats them. Anne Heche, as Firth’s abandoned girlfriend, and Lucas Hedges, as the son who hates him, contribute nice cameos that feel like side trips to a different movie. J.L.

2

The Big Wedding

A divorced couple (Diane Keaton, Robert De Niro) has to pretend to still be married because their adopted son (Ben Barnes) has invited his birth mother (Patricia Rae) to his wedding, and she doesn’t know about the divorce. With a cast like this (including Katherine Heigl, Amanda Seyfried, Susan Sarandon, Topher Grace, Robin Williams, Christine Ebersole, David Rasche), someone like Robert Altman might have done something—in fact, he did, in A Wedding (1978)—but writer-director Justin Zackham (adapting an obscure Franco-Swiss picture) doesn’t seem to know it’s 2013, and his mosscovered plot hasn’t worked since Eisenhower was president. Zackham fritters away a great cast on a dreary, predictable, unfunny comedy. It’s by-the-book moviemaking when the book is so out-of-date it should have “Gutenberg” stamped on the spine. J.L.

2

Disconnect

Director Henry Alex Rubin has only helmed documentaries before Disconnect, so it seems fair to cut him some slack for dramatic creakiness. Some. Rather late to the table with its hand-wringing about the way we live now, Rubin’s film, from a didactic script by Andrew Stern, wrangles Facebook bullying, credit fraud and underage porn into an issue-driven patchwork of lives at once frayed and braided. A distracted dad (Jason Bateman) strikes up a yearning instantmessage rapport with the stealth tormentor (Colin Ford) of his loner son (Jonah Bobo); a young husband and wife (Paula Patton, Alexander Skarsgard) fail to cope with losing both their child and their financial security; a TV reporter (Andrea Riseborough) gets too deep into her story about an online rent boy (Max Thieriot). Too diluted by its fussy, phony comprehensiveness, the case being made here just doesn’t seem credible: How can a movie about what the Internet does to us be so devoid of spontaneity? J.K.

3

A so-so film? OK, yeah, but at least we look damn good.

Log onto gofobo.com/RSVP and enter SNRDBP6 to download passes to the special screening on Thursday, May 23 in Sacramento.

At Any Price

In what might seem from the outset like a Hollywood-lite look at the Bowman v.

Monsanto case recently heard by the Supreme Court, director Ramin Bahrani’s awkward but at least absorbing drama gives Dennis Quaid some good scenery to chew as a heartland seed salesman losing control of both his family and his farm. His grounded wife (Kim Dickens), plainly aware of his harpy ex-cheerleader mistress (Heather Graham), understandably wonders why this man can’t be happy with what he has. But then, his rebellious son (Zac Efron) would rather drive race cars than inherit the family business, which, under dad’s dubious stewardship, already has run afoul of a litigious genetically modified organism company. It is safe to say the situation deteriorates. Coscripting with Hallie Newton, Bahrani reaches beyond the intimate simplicity of his previous feature, Goodbye Solo, and seems to be grasping for grand American tragedy. Solemnity prevails, but subplots don’t fully cohere, and the filmmaker’s ambition ultimately gets the best of him. J.K.

2

YOU AND A GUEST ARE INVITED TO AN ADVANCED SCREENING OF

Iron Man 3

Billionaire superhero Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) contends with two villains: a terrorist called The Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) and an urbane think-tank tycoon (Guy Pearce), who may be working with the terrorist. Director and co-writer (with Drew Pearce) Shane Black takes over from Jon Favreau (now playing Stark’s head of security), and his movie, while less memorable than the first Iron Man,

BEFORE

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The Great Gatsby

Director Baz Luhrmann and his co-writer Craig Pearce give us their take on F. Scott Fitzgerald’s melancholy tale of the mysterious Jay Gatsby (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his wistful obsession with the winsome Daisy Buchanan (Carey Mulligan). Luhrmann stomps around in Fitzgerald’s meticulous, diffident prose with his usual obnoxious vulgarity, now even more overbearing in 3-D. But splinters of Fitzgerald keep floating to the surface despite all Luhrmann’s efforts to bury them in a thick varnish of garish CGI: DiCaprio is at his best, capturing Gatsby’s blend of worldliness and naiveté, while Mulligan’s selfishly alluring Daisy is luscious as a lemon drop. Other good actors struggle to be seen: Tobey Maguire, Joel Edgerton and newcomer Elizabeth Debicki, a real discovery. Call it The Not Half-Bad Gatsby. J.L.

Passes are limited and will be distributed on a first-come, first-served basis, while supplies last. Limit two, admit-one passes per person.

THIS FILM IS RATED PG-13.

is at least less instantly forgettable than its sequel. The action set pieces become enervating after a while, so patently CGI that nothing’s really ever at stake. The movie works mainly due to its acting: Downey, of course; Gwyneth Paltrow as gal Friday/sweetheart Pepper Potts; Don Cheadle as Stark’s military pal; and Kingsley. The most pleasant (and only) surprise is a sprightly youngster, Ty Simpkins, as a whiz kid who helps Stark. J.L.

3

Oblivion

On an Earth rendered uninhabitable by a nuclear war against alien invaders (we won the war but lost the planet), a patrolman (Tom Cruise) and his mate and partner (Andrea Riseborough) maintain a fleet of drones extracting resources and mopping up surviving aliens—or so they think. Written by director Joseph Kosinski, Karl Gajdusek and Michael Arndt, the story is muddled and murky and, for a script based on a graphic novel, awkwardly dependent on exposition and narration (maybe that’s why the novel, by Kosinski and Arvid Nelson, remained unpublished). What makes it watchable is Kosinski’s (and cinematographer Claudio Miranda’s) gift for breathtaking pictorial images—plus, of course, Cruise’s undiluted star power. Supporting work from Morgan Freeman, Olga Kurylenko and Nikolaj Coster-Waldau doesn’t hurt. J.L.

1

Pain & Gain

Between October 1994 and June 1995, three Florida bodybuilders (Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson, Anthony Mackie) go on a spree of kidnapping, torture, extortion, murder and dismemberment. It’s a more-orless true story that director Michael Bay, with his usual sensitive artistry, decided was just the material he needed for a rollicking comedy in the style of The Hangover. The story wasn’t funny, and neither is the movie—besides, comedy is hardly Bay’s forte (is anything?). Other actors trapped in the mess include Ed Harris, Tony Shalhoub and Rob Corddry. Writers Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (adapting magazine articles by Pete Collins) change many names, but not those of murder victims Frank Griga and Krisztina Furton, whose families are reportedly offended by the movie. It’s hard to blame them. J.L.

2

Peeples

A self-styled children’s therapist (Craig Robinson), frustrated that his girlfriend (Kerry Washington) won’t introduce him to her family, crashes a reunion on their Long Island estate, where he runs afoul of her father (David Alan Grier). Writer-director Tina Gordon Chism studiously avoids

FRONTLINES

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any trace of originality or cleverness in this leaden, obvious, maladroit comedy. Robinson has a basic sincerity and ease before the camera that fitfully overcomes his surroundings, and Law and Order’s S. Epatha Merkerson, as Washington’s tipsy mother, does a rare comedy turn with clear relish.

Others in the cast have more difficulty with the contrived situations, awkward dialogue and Chism’s flailing, arrythmic direction.

Washington is particularly ill-served by Alexander Gruszynski’s flat, unflattering cinematography. J.L.

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IN THEATERS MAY 31

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The Place Beyond the Pines

A carnival motorcycle stunt rider (Ryan Gosling) returns to a small town to see an old flame (Eva Mendes) and learns that he got her pregnant on the last trip; he impulsively settles down and in time, turns to robbing banks to support the son he didn’t know he had—which puts him on a collision course with a rookie cop (Bradley Cooper). Writer-director Derek Cianfrance has a good cast (Ray Liotta, Rose Byrne and Harris Yulin are there, too), and they do their best. Good moments here and there—especially from Cooper and Liotta—contend with an unfocused and scattershot script that undercuts the actors too often. Cianfrance’s story supposedly spans 15 years, but everybody looks the same after all that time except that Gosling and Cooper’s infant sons have grown into teenagers (Dane DeHaan, Emory Cohen). J.L.

4

Theatre is overbooked to ensure a full house. Passes received through this promotion do not guarantee admission and must be surrendered upon demand. Seating is on a first come, first served basis. EXCEPT FOR MEMBERS OF THE REVIEWING PRESS. No one will be admitted without a ticket or after the screening begins. All federal, state and local regulations apply. A recipient of tickets assumes any and all risks related to use of ticket and accepts any restrictions required by ticket provider. Summit Entertainment, Sacramento News & Review, Gofobo. com, Allied-THA and their affiliates accept no responsibility or liability in connection with any loss or accident incurred in connection with use of a prize. Tickets cannot be exchanged, transferred or redeemed for cash, in whole or in part. We are not responsible if, for any reason, winner is unable to use his/her ticket in whole or in part. Not responsible for lost; delayed or misdirected entries. All federal and local taxes are the responsibility of the winner. Void where prohibited by law. No purchase necessary. Participating sponsors their employees and family members and their agencies are not eligible. NO PHONE CALLS!

++++.”

SACRAMENTO NEWS “ & REVIEW “A MUST-SEE film.”

THURS: 5/16 Joe Neumaier, NEW YORK DAILY NEWS THE NEW YORK OBSERVER 3.9” (2 COL.) X 5.67” SS ALL.NYS-P.0516.SNR Rex Reed,

The Sapphires

In the Australian outback of the 1960s, four singing Aborigines (Deborah Mailman, Jessica Mauboy, Miranda Tapsell, Shari Sebbens) form a girl group to tour Vietnam entertaining the troops, with a down-onhis-luck musician (Chris O’Dowd) as their manager. Directed by Wayne Blair and written by Tony Briggs and Keith Thompson (loosely based on the experiences of Briggs’ mother and her sister and cousins), here’s another one of those lovely, unexpected surprises that sail north out of Australia every now and then. The movie tends to slide into clichés whenever the music stops, but fortunately, the music never stops for long, and it’s just about irresistible. Meanwhile, the clichés are rendered painless by excellent performances from the five principles, with O’Dowd and Mailman particularly standing out. J.L.

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Featuring: John Prine �Angelique Kidjo �Taj Mahal

Marianne Faithfull �Greg Brown �Iris Dement Irma Thomas �Madeleine Peyroux �Dave Alvin

Rebirth Brass Band �Paul Thorn Band �Brothers Comatose Perla Batalla �Red Molly � Poor Man’s Whiskey Rani Arbo � Alice Stuart & The Formerlys � Alice Di Micele Elephant Revival � Achilles Wheel � Wavy Gravy � and many more…

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May 30

YOUNG DUBLINERS @ HARLOW’S $15 TIX FOR $7.50

May 31 – JUN 2

CITY OF TREES REGGAE MUSIC FESTIVAL @ RIO RAMAZA PARK $85 TIX FOR $42.50

GIRL IN A COMA @ HARLOW’S $12 TIX FOR $6

On his new album, Young Aundee mines youthful tribulations and ponders the apocolypse It started with Young Aundee’s role as the small-statured singer in Who Cares, the electro hip-hop group.

It’s here that the musician first collaborated with by Blake Gillespie producer Dusty Brown in 2010 for the band’s retro-futuristic Teenage Ego Trip. What no one understood at the time, however, was that the record would eventually lead to Aundee’s solo debut, Fear in the Fold.

REGGAE IN THE HILLS @ CALAVERAS COUNTY FAIRGROUNDS $150 TIX FOR $75

JUN 16

SUPERHEROES 5K RUN @ CAPITOL MALL $65 TIX FOR $32.50

Biblical anxieties?

He’s got ’em.

New shows added weekly for ace of spades be Sure to check the SweetdealS webSite for Show dateS!

For more information on Young Aundee, visit www.facebook.com/ youngaundee.

For more information on the Sacramento Electronic Music Festival, visit www.sacelectronic musicfest.com.

newsreview.com 42 | SN&R | 05.16.13

Sessions at the Hangar studios led to meeting Eric Broyhill, an engineer he admired for Broyhill’s mastering of Chk Chk Chk’s Louden Up Now. Southard turned over demos to Broyhill that became Should We Party?, an unreleased “fun” collection of songs he likens to the tonguein-cheek dance music of Wallpaper.

Only one song did survive those sessions: “Of a Small Stature” was reworked from its original sampling of the ’90s alt-rock band Live to a brooding chiptune beat. Mastered by Bil Bless, the highly sought after glitch-hop producer, Fear is an end-times record. The conceit evolved from a partnership with childhood friend and songwriting confidant Jeremy Dawson.

Dawson co-wrote seven of the album’s songs, with Southard playing him musical fragments, “oohing” and “aahing” test vocals as the blueprint for the lyrics.

Growing up together, both were members of ska band Secret Six, and their shared history is evident in Fear’s vulnerability and maladjusted themes. Themes that draw on young tribulations: a junior-high friend committing suicide; Southard being sent away to an out-of-state Christian rehabilitation school not long after; upon his return, the teenager’s move to hide from his family at Dawson’s home until he turned 18. photo bY StEvEn chEA

May 22

Here’s to end times

It’s not entirely accurate, however, to attribute Aundee’s solo venture to those Teenage sessions with Brown—he says he never intended to make an album in the first place. But after finishing, Brown and Aundee, the latter born Andrew Southard, continued meeting, making beats for a Who Cares follow-up. The two would eventually stray from the hip-hop format to craft sounds of a more “cerebral electronic” nature.

In the process, the two found themselves getting back to ways not explored since Brown gave Southard his start as a vocalist in 1999.

“He featured me on his very first record, Volume One,” said Southard, who will perform at the Sacramento Electronic Music Festival on Saturday, June 1.

Southard contributed vocals to Brown’s “Dropped Change” and “My One,” but there’d be no follow-ups to that collaboration. Instead, as the opening track on Fear suggests, the young man was “Aimless.”

Southard, now in his 30s, grew up in Cameron Park (where he still resides) and started playing music in the ’90s. There, he and his friends formed bands, inspired by East Bay punk acts such as Operation Ivy. He briefly joined post-metal band Giant Squid, contributing keyboard to the 2005 Monster in the Creek EP. As the aughts wore on, he immersed himself in deejay culture, divorcing himself from bands to be a studio rat of sorts.

As the aughts wore on, Young Aundee immersed in deejay culture, divorcing himself from bands to be a studio rat of sorts.

It’s Dawson whom Southard trusted to convey Fear’s biblical anxieties. For most, the paranoia subsided after surviving December 21, 2012, the Mayan-calendar myths and numerous cult proclamations on the end of days. But for the friends, there’s still the looming second coming to consider, and it’s why Southard closes the album with an open-ended question of “Where Do We Go?” “Vulnerability is a big part of it all,” he said.

“In the writing process, we get excited to paint the broken pieces; always being around loss and heavy situations from a young age.

“Everyone has trauma,” Southard added.

“I can’t discard anyone’s experience, but that’s what we pull from. I’m not so much of a salesman as I am a vessel.” Ω

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on YouTube), it is obvious the next Generational melting pot: Machine SPECIAL EVENT, NO PASSES FRIDAY 5/17 - SUNDAY 5/19 generation as a whole is taking Gun Kelly—it’s what happens performances to a new level. Not when punk rock and hip-hop have CHRISTOPHER just the artists, but the audience a little too much to drink and go home TITUS together. It’s kind of like what could members as well. Whether the THURSDAY 5/23 discussion is about what message have happened if Eyedea had been PUNDITS WITH PUNCHLINES raised by Mötley Crüe. In other words, this sends the kids or what message FRIDAY 5/24 - SATURDAY 5/25 • 8PM the kids are sending us, the new voice not everyone at the Ace of Spades THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD WITH JOEY GUILA of hip-hop definitely knows how to show on May 8 knew exactly what FRIDAY 5/24 - SATURDAY 5/25•10PM get a conversation started. kind of a show they were in for.

SAM BAM’S COMEDY JAM The building was packed with a —Andrew Bell FRIDAY 5/31- SUNDAY 6/2 good blend of hippies, bros, angsty FROM CASH CAB! Giving props to this little corner anarchist teenagers and tattooed BEN BAILEY of the world: When Hoboken, New groupies, along with uninformed Jersey’s Yo La Tengo took the stage at parents who’d shown up to accomTHURSDAY 6/6 - SATURDAY 6/8 Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub on pany their kids. It was the kind of FROM WHITNEY AND WORKAHOLICS! Sunday night, its members needed melting pot that would have scared CHRIS D’ELIA MYLES WEBER no reminder as to what city it was the shit out of the forefathers. This playing.

Earlier in the day, the band is the demographic for which MGK SPECIAL EVENT, NO PASSES used Facebook to broadcast this speaks. The is a generation that’s THURSDAY 6/13 - SUNDAY 6/16 NOTORIOUS 2013 WORLD TOUR plea: “Sacramento: Paging Donnie learned to embrace chaos by clinging RUSSELL PETERS Jupiter, please come to tonight’s to the freedom that comes with feelshow!” The request was a call to ing like there is nothing left to lose.

FOLLOW US ON TWITTER! Donald Marquez of Twinkeyz It is no surprise that MGK ;>0;;,9 *64 7<5*/305,:(* -(*,)662 *64 73:(* fame—the famed 1970s-era Sac WWW.PUNCHLINESAC.COM incited a mosh pit that got at least garage-punk band—and possibly two patrons kicked out after some a reference to that security guards were CALL CLUB FOR SHOWTIMES: (916) 925-5500 2100 ARDEN WAY s IN THE HOWE ‘BOUT ARDEN SHOPPING CENTER time YLT covered the assaulted. It’s also no 2 DRINK MINIMUM. 18 & OVER. I.D. REQUIRED. band’s “Aliens in Our surprise that the performer TICKETS AVAILABLE AT THE CLUB BOX Midst” at the Cattle looked as though he OFFICE WITH NO SERVICE CHARGE. Club way back in suffered what appeared the 1990s. This time to be, at the very least, a out, the indie-rock mild sprain to the ankle trio showed its host after stage-diving halfway region similar respect. through his set. Of course, Giving a shout-out to he finished the show. the Davis music scene of Toward the end of the James McNew: “Calling yore, singer-guitarist set, MGK pulled a young Mitch Ritchmond!”

Ira Kaplan admitted to woman onstage. After some treading on unsure ground. “I don’t banter about checking wristbands know how you all feel about UC because it was an all-ages venue, Davis,” he said, noting that someMGK told her to “pull them out.” times similar stage moments had And so, the girl lifted her MGK resulted in a “Hatfields vs. McCoys” shirt, and the artist proceeded to kind of situation. Thankfully, no take his tongue to areola town while fights broke outSAC when Kaplan simulating masturbation with the NEWSPAPER: NEWS & REVIEW asked if there were “any Suspects microphone.

5/16/2013 in theDATE: house”—a reference to No, really. It’s on YouTube. PUBLISH Steve Wynn’s early Davis-area It may sound like a spectacle ART DUE: 5/10 band—before launching into a cover on paper, but in person, there was from one of Wynn’s other bands, a difficult-to-explain casualness to CONTENT: PUNCHLINE the Dream Syndicate’s “That’s it all. Maybe it’s some sort of mob SIZE: 1.87” 5.67” Always Say.”X A more mentality, but is Machine Gun Kelly What You mysterious local reference, however, just this generation’s Jim Morrison with ART PRODUCTION: SACHA PFEIFER (720) 239-3411 occurred earlier in the show during some 2 Live Crew tendencies? Or theNOTES: band’s quiet “opening” set. Can did he cross the line? anyone out there confirm if bassist Most concertgoers appeared James McNew did indeed dedicate a unfazed by the performer’s song to former Sacramento Kings behavior. Most of them, instead, player Mitch Richmond before the seemed content to turn the tables band played “Black Flowers”? If so, and condemn parents for bringing that just might be the most random, their kids to such a show because, awesomely retro indie-rock-meetswell, what do you expect from a Sac reference ever. OK, maybe not 23-year-old East Cleveland kid that random—McNew is a noted whose breakout hit is a song titled NBA basketball fan. But still.

“Wild Boy”?

In the wake of rapper Danny —Rachel Leibrock r achel l@ne w s re v i e w . c o m Brown’s now infamous onstage oral copulation incident (yes, that’s also

sn&r is looking for A ProDucTion mAnAger Can you keep production processes running smoothly?

Do you enjoy managing a team? We are seeking a skilled production manager to co-manage our design team.

You must be able to ensure quality while staying on schedule and within budget. This position has overall responsibility for the production process of the Sacramento, Chico and Reno News & Review newspapers as well as our national client publications.

for more informATion, visiT www.newsreview.com/Jobs.

THINK FREE.

BEFORE

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ARTS&CULTURE

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17FRI

17FRI

17FRI

17FRI

Cosmic Family Gathering

Arden Park Roots

Susie Glaze & the Hilonesome Band

Pipedown

Nugget River Park, noon, call for cover It’s time for a weekend of music and camping at the Cosmic Family Gathering at the Nugget River Park in Placerville. There will be two stages and a near-constant flow of music. The lineup has a heavy emphasis on local talent, including Be Brave Bold Robot (indie folk, pictured), Hans! and the Hot Mess (dance pop), Zuhg (jam rock), Isaac Bear (funk metal), Musical Charis (chamber pop), Autumn FESTIVAL Sky (singer-songwriter) and Awkward Lemon (Americana).

There will also be bands out of the Humboldt County area (the Absynth Quintent and John Ludington) as well as the very unusual punkjazz of Seattle’s Skerik’s Bandalabra. Only day passes are left. Highway 193 and Chili Bar Lane in Placerville, (916) 671-0543, www.cosmic familyproductions.com.

—Aaron Carnes

Cesar Chavez Plaza, 5 p.m., no cover Formed in 2007, Arden Park Roots received a Sacramento Area Music Award in the Latin/World/Reggae category in 2008. The Sammies again recognized Arden Park Roots in 2009 and 2011, in the Outstanding Reggae/ Ska/Funk/Jam and REGGAE ROCK Reggae/Roots categories, respectively. Then, in 2012, this young band was inducted into the Sammies Hall of Fame. Arden Park Roots’ original blend of reggae, rock and punk is all California and pure Sacramento, and the band’s third full-length album Pipe Dreams showcases the range of lead singer Tyler Campbell—and the band— on an inspired cover of Ben E. King’s “Stand

By Me.” Joining Arden Park Roots will be Syncro, Rasar, Live Manikins and DJ Whores.

910 I Street, http://ardenparkroots.com.

Luigi’s Fun Garden, 9:30 p.m., $10

Palms Playhouse, 8 p.m., $20 Originally from Tennessee, Susie Glaze’s roots are firmly situated in the Grand Ole Opry. She’s influenced by the Carter Family, Bill Monroe, Doc Watson and Jean Ritchie. Since 2003, Glaze has led the Hilonesome Band featuring Rob Carlson, who writes songs like “Blue Eyed Darlin’,” that sound like they originated from a much earlier time. The quintet released White Swan in March, and its 11 songs highlight the band’s ability to fuse various roots- and folkmusic genres. It also includes Celtic-inspired and reinterpreted covers of COUNTRY songs by Steve Earle and others. Opening this show is 2009 Kerrville New Folk Award-winner, Ernest Troost. 13 Main Street in Winters, http://susieglaze.com.

—Trina L. Drotar

Before screamo was the thing Hot Topic shoppers were clamoring about, there was just “hardcore,” which combined heavy punk rock and intense, HARDCORE screaming vocals. These weren’t bands venting angsty juvenile rage; they often were screaming thoughtful leftist political lyrics. Perhaps the best of them was Swedish group Refused, which was an artistic and political primal scream ahead of its time.

Local group Pipedown (which played from 1997 to 2005) was very much like Refused, only without the avant-garde and jazz undertones. Pipedown had a successful run, touring the United States five times and Europe twice. It returns for a reunion show. 1050 20th Street, www.facebook.com/pipedownband.

—Aaron Carnes

—Trina L. Drotar

Lunch

Is Served!

thursdays

rock on live band kar aoke rock-n-roll // 9pm // FrEE Fri 5/17

Tu-Fri

@ 11:30

The Itals & Storytellers 3RD FRIDAY REGGAE Hosted by UrBaNFire Friday, 5/17 - 6-10pm - $10

ROGUE

Saturday, 5/18 - 4:30-8:30pm - $5

3RD SUNDAY COUNTRY

NEW W FAST FA AST LUNCH L LU UN H MENU UNCH MEN NU Happy Hour Monday -Friday 3 - 6pm BREAKFAST SAT 10am & SUN 9 a m til 2pm 92” HDTV & Free Wi-Fi Craft Beers & Cocktails

progrEssivE // psychEdElic//rock // 9pm / /$5 sat 5/18

cedar & boYer JUlie and THe JUkeS indiE // Folk // 9pm // $5 sun 5/19

eS rooTS MUSic Seri rock BluEs // Jazz // amEricana // classic 5pm // FrEE Mon 5/20

SHoWcaSe Mon// daYS FrEE FEaturing local Bands // 8pm tuEs 5/21

GreaTeST STorieS ever Told triButE // Jam // 7:30pm // FrEE WEd 5/22

keri carr band S delTa ciTY raMbler // $5 classic country // amEricana // 8pm

Hosted by Rachel Steele & Road 88 w/ Kenny Frye Band & Jordan McDougal

UPcOMING sHOWs:

Sunday, 5/19 - 3-7pm - $5

5/24 CosmiC Comedown Party 5/25 the new orleans swamP donkey Jazz Band

Creative Comfort Food In East Sacramento!

57th & Jst | 916-457-5600

44 | SN&R | 05.16.13

GlaSS elevaTor drive THrU MYSTicS

908 K Street • sac 916.446.4361 wwwMarilynsOnK.com

102.5 Live

Atlas Genius

Discovery Park, 10 a.m., $19

22WED Torche

Harlow’s Restaurant & Nightclub, 7 p.m., $13

I wouldn’t trust either T.I. (pictured) or E-40 to hold my can of beer, but they’re the kind HIP-HOP of rappers I’d trust to put on an entertaining display of crankin’ hip-hop jams at this 102.5 Live event, hosted by KSFM 102.5 FM. The pair will be joined by Far East Movement (of “Like a G6” fame), plus Baby Bash, Royalty and Drop City Yacht Club—who, presumably, one would recognize if one listened to KSFM regularly. With their long-established street backgrounds and recent radio-friendly hits, T.I. and E-40 will surely encourage you to “Live Your Life,” and show you how to “Function.” Beer and margaritas optional, especially before noon. 1000 Garden Highway, http://tinyurl.com/1025live.

—Deena Drewis

23THURS Ozomatli

Ace of Spades, 7 p.m., $25

Australian group Atlas Genius is rolling into Sacramento at just the right time: Summer is nearing, itching for some careless decisionmaking. If you somehow escaped hearing the single “Trojans” last year, Atlas Genius sounds like a less-Euro version of Phoenix; loosen up and dance a little more, and you’ll forget that A.G. is also evocative of Coldplay and Neon Trees. The band POP ROCK plays dancey pop rock so evocative of warm weather that catching the act in winter would be like drinking a margarita in London on Christmas. See these Aussies while the timing is right and you’re in a state of mind to be talked into one more drink on a Wednesday night.

2708 J Street, www.atlasgenius.com.

—Jonathan Mendick

PHoTo by GARy coPElAND

22WED

HoTo by FRANk MADDockS

18SAT

Assembly, 9 p.m., $25-$30

Miami quartet Torche has only released three albums and an EP since forming in 2004, but it has built a sizable and critical grassroots ROCK following for its unique sound. The thunderous bottom-end percussion suggests metal, but the catchy overdriven guitar is more indebted to Hüsker Dü than Motörhead. The group’s mix of sludgy heaviness and ineffable harmony prompted the description “stoner pop.” That’s unfair, given that most of the tracks—despite the billowy distorted guitar-riff plumage—conclude in less than three minutes, though understandable, given Torche’s bite-size sense of spaciousness. Few do better at wedding “menacing” and “hummable” than this band did on last year’s Harmonicraft. 1417 R Street, www.torchemusic.com.

Ozomatli is like biblical Noah’s very own house band, taking from every style under the sun and housing them in lively foot-tapping jams. Formed initially to support a multicultural activist co-op in Los Angeles, the group evolved into one of the finest party bands extant. Its panglobal sound is deeply informed

by Latin music, hip-hop, funk and rock, though its five studio albums hop untold musical borders with impunity. Last September, Ozomatli released the family-friendly Ozokidz disc.

While its albums have continually grown more eclectic, the perforROCK/WORLD mances still put your gluteus maximus into effect with infectious, deep-seated grooves; lovely, inventive melodies; intelligence; and obvious passion.

1000 K Street, www.ozomatli.com.

—Chris Parker

ACE OF SPADES THURSDAY, MAY 16

AN EVENING WITH

PEPPER

BOTH ACOUSTIC & LIVE SETS PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

ALL AGES WELCOME!

SATURDAY, MAY 25

JOHN HART

MARK SNIPES - CALIFORNIA BEAR GANG - SUAVE DEBONAIRE - AYE TEE - KIDD SWAGG - RICK MO SUNDAY, MAY 26

FRIDAY, MAY 17

TWISTA & RAE ROCK X-QUISYTE - JAY SICKLES ¨C G-DYNASTY -

TYLER, THE CREATOR & SPECIAL GUEST EARL SWEATSHIRT

VON VATTON - THE COUSIN’$ - PHRANCHYZE

SATURDAY, MAY 18

DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN

THE FACELESS - ROYAL THUNDER - JOURNAL

—Chris Parker

FRIDAY, MAY 31

CAPITAL CITIES GOLD FIELDS

COMING

SOON

06/04 Logic 06/08 Bret Michaels 06/09 The Maine 06/11 Nekromantix 06/17 We Came As Romans 06/18 Memphis May Fire 06/19 Krizz Kaliko 07/13 Too $hort 07/22 Black Flag

SATURDAY, JUNE 1

SUNDAY, MAY 19

FINCH

MOBB DEEP

PLAYING “WHAT IT IS TO BURN” IN ITS ENTIRETY THE ORIGINAL - ONE DYING SECRET

PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS

07/27 Y&T 07/30 Fitz & The Tantrums 08/01 J Boog 08/11 Matisyahu

WEDNESDAY, MAY 22

TURBONEGRO TORCHE

SUNDAY, JUNE 2

FEAR FACTORY HATE ETERNAL - KOBRA & THE LOTUS KILL THE PRECEDENT

09/05 Launch Festival Kick-Off Party 09/11 Adam Ant

Tickets available at all Dimple Records Locations, The Beat Records, and Armadillo Records, or purchase by phone @ 916.443.9202

BEFORE

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NEWS

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B E S T O F T H E B U R B S | A R T S & C U L T U R E | A F T E R | 05.16.13

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NIGHTBEAT

THURSDAY 5/16

FRIDAY 5/17

SATURDAY 5/18

ASSEMBLY

B Street: Live!, 7pm, $15

B Street: Live!, 7pm, $15

B Street: Live!, 7pm, $15

BLUE LAMP

LIGHT SKINNED CREOLE, 9pm, $5

Caribbean Nights: dub deejays, 9pm, call Record Club Presents Blitz, 9pm, $5 for cover

THE BOARDWALK

KYNG GRIFFIN, 53-ZIP BOYZ, DYS-

INCREDIBLE ME, THE SEEKING, LIFEFLOBOTS, K-OTTIC, NEIGHBORZ; FORMS, BEFORE YOU FALL; 7pm, $10-$12 7:30pm, $13-$15

BOWS & ARROWS

HERE COME DOTS, ODD MONIKER, THE TREES; 8pm, $5

BRIANNA LEA PRUETT, PAT HULL, GARRETT PIERCE; 8pm, $5

1000 K St., (916) 832-4751

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 PHUNCTIONAL SPECIES, NITTI BO; 8pm 1815 19 St., (916) 822-5668

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

HOLLY WILLIAMS, 7pm W, $10-$12 SKERIK’S BANDALABRA, GROOVINCIBLE, IDEA TEAM; 8pm M, call for cover KINGDOM OF GIANTS, DEAD BY NIGHTFALL, DROPSEVEN, ELIPSIS; 5:30pm Poetry w/ Jeff Alessandrelli, Josh Fernandez, Tim Kahl; 8pm W, no cover

KAUMAKAIWA KANAKA ‘OLE, SHAWN PIMENT; 8pm, $20-$22

SANDRA BERNHARD, 8pm, $45-$50

DAVID KNOPFLER, HARRY BOGDANOVS; Community music jam, 6:30pm M, 7:30pm, $22-$25 no cover

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

THE NOBS BAND, 8pm, $6-$8

JACKPOT, 6pm, call for cover

DISTRICT 30

CAZZETTE, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Billy Lane, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Elements, 9pm, call for cover

DJ Louie Giovanni, DJ ENFO; 9pm W, call for cover

FOX & GOOSE

STEVE MCLANE, 8-11pm, no cover

STONEBERRY, ROCKINBOCKER, GOODNIGHT TEXAS; 9pm, $5

COLD ESKIMO, CITY TRIBE, SEAN FLEMING; 9pm, $5

Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; Northern Soul, 8pm W, no cover

G STREET WUNDERBAR

TOTAL RECALL, 9pm, no cover SHOCK G, HUMPTY HUMP, DJ Fuze; 9pm, call for cover

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481 1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

HARLOW’S Hey local bands!

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

The Siren Show’s Late Night Varietease with DJ Larry Rodriguez, 8pm, $10

TAINTED LOVE, 10pm, call for cover

LEVEL UP FOOD & LOUNGE

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DJ Rock Bottom and The Mookie DJ, 9pm, no cover

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

RICHARD MARCH, 8pm, $6

MAGIC BULLET, JEFF CANTANZARO; 8:30pm, $6

MARILYN’S ON K

“Rock On” Live Band Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

GLASS ELEVATOR, DRIVE-THRU MYSTICS; 9pm, $5

CEDAR & BOYER, JULIE AND THE JUKES; 9pm, $5

MIDTOWN BARFLY

Pitfall w/ DJ Whores, Fame Change, 10pm; no cover before 11 pm, $5 after

Get Down to the Champion Sound, reggae and dancehall deejays, 10pm, $5

DJ’s Yung Black Beard, My Cousin Venti, Chris Rohto, 9pm-2am, $5-$7

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

FREEPORT, BOBBY JORDAN, ERIK HANSON; 8:30pm, $5

STREETLIGHT FIRE, BRAVE SEASON, LARISA BRYSKI, PARIE WOOD; BROLLY, FOUR MINUTE MILE; 8:30pm, $5 8:30pm, $5

Jazz, 8pm M; CAPTAIN AMAZING AND THE OKAY I GUESSES, 8:30pm W, $5

OLD IRONSIDES

JENN ROGAR, 5pm, no cover

WILLIAM MYLAR, 5pm, no cover; CRAZY BALLHEAD, BLAQUELISTED; 9pm, $5

DEAD HORSES, GOLDENER, KEVIN SECONDS, JEM & SCOUT; 9pm, $7

Karaoke w/ Sac City Entertainment, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 9pm W, no cover

ON THE Y

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DAN MUMM, CHILDREN OF LAMAYA; call for cover

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic comedy, 9pm, no cover

SUZIE GLAZE AND THE HILONESOME BAND, 8pm, $20

ANTSY MCCLAIN & EDGAR CRUZ, GARY TACKETT; 8pm, $20

JOHN HAMMOND, 7:30pm, $25

2431 J St., (916) 448-8768

1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931 908 K St., (916) 446-4361 1119 21st St., (916) 549-2779

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504 670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

THE PALMS PLAYHOUSE

13 Main St., Winters; (530) 795-1825

TODD MORGAN & THE EMBLEMS, THE JAHARI SAI TRIO, MANDY ZEBOSKI; 7pm

- May 16 -

- May 20 -

sizzling sirens

the neighbourhood

burlesque experience • dinner show

7pm • $10-20 adv

lovelife all ages

7pm • $12 adv

- May 17 -

tainted love

- May 22 -

atlas genius

8pm • $15 adv

- May 18 -

doowhatchalike 90’s hip-hop party with

the colourist, the postelles all ages

6:30pm • $13 adv

digital underground’s shock g

9pm • $20 adv

- May 19 -

todd morgan & the emblems / Jahari sai trio / mandy Zeboski dinner show

6:30pm • $5 adv |

SN&R

|

05.16.13

- May 23 -

relic 45

THE NEIGHBOURHOOD, 7pm M, call for cover; ATLAS GENIUS, 8pm W, $13-$15 Hip-hop and R&B deejay dancing, 9:16pm Tu, no cover Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6

Gothic, Industrial, Darkwave, EBM, Retro, 9:30pm-2am, $5

2708 J Street Sacramento, CA 916.441.4693 www.harlows.com

46

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 5/20-5/22

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

SUNDAY 5/19

the three way, mark sexton band 8pm • $10 adv

Swing, Lindy Hop, 8pm Tu, $6-$10; Salsa, Bachata and Merengue, 8:30pm W, $5

Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

just announced – June 2 • 7pm • $10adv –

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Foreverland

May 26

Murder By Death The Builders & The Butchers

May 28

Chuck Fenda

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Big K.R.I.T.

May 30

Young Dubliners

Jun 01

Bilal

Jun 8

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Jun 09

Ryan Bingham

Jun 11

Girl in a Coma

Jun 13

Inner Circle

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DJ Eddie Edul, 9pm, call for cover

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Karaoke, 9pm-1:30am, no cover

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RASAR, 9:30pm, $5

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Flobots with K-Ottic and Neighborz 7:30pm Saturday, $13-$15.

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

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AFTER

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05.16.13

1000 K Street Sacramento CA 95814 |

SN&R

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47

WHAT’S ON YOUR

HORIZON? Join Horizon Non-Profit today for safe access to a wide variety of high quality medical cannabis.

Whether you prefer flowers, extracts, edibles or topicals, indica or sativa, we have the right medicine for you.

Whatever your medical condition or employment situation, you can come to Horizon knowing that we respect and hold your

HEALTH, WELL–BEING & PRIVACY AS OUR HIGHEST PRIORITY. OPEN TO ANYONE 18 OR OLDER WITH VALID CA I.D. AND DR’S RECOMMENDATION FOR MEDICAL CANNABIS

HORIZON NON-PROFIT COLLECTIVE Mon-Thur 10am - 7pm | Fri-Sat 10am - 9pm | Sun 12pm - 7pm 48 | SN&R | 05.16.13

3600 Power Inn Rd Suite 1A Sacramento, CA 95826 916.455.1931

Step up your game So, there will never be pot clubs in Sacramento County after last week’s California Supreme Court ruling, right?

—Despondent Dave Nil desperandum desperandum, Dave! It’s not as bad as you may think. Yes, the California Supreme Court ruled that cities and counties are allowed to ban medical-marijuana dispensaries, stating that while Proposition 215 does indeed “remove state-level criminal and civil sanctions from specified medical marijuana activities, [it EALUM B IO A does] not establish a comprehensive state system of G N by legalized medical marijuana; or grant a … right of convenient access to marijuana for medicinal use; or override the zoning, licensing, and police powers of a sk420 @ n ewsreview.c om local jurisdictions; or mandate local accommodation of medical marijuana cooperatives, collectives, or dispensaries.”

So, cities and counties are allowed to ban clubs.

But the supremes also said: “Of course, nothing prevents future efforts by the Legislature, or by the People, to adopt a different approach.” So that means we (“the People”) can do two things: The first is to vote.

Every single member of the Sacramento County Board of Supervisors needs to be called out on their lack of support for medical cannabis. If they aren’t on board, we need to vote them out. Do whatever you have to do. This is the only way they will learn. And it will be a challenge. No Sac County supe has ever been voted out of office. Ever. That’s why they are so comfortable being on the wrong side of history. We need to make them understand that their actions have consequences.

We can also support Assembly Bill 473, which would put the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control in charge of statewide mediEvery single member of cal-cannabis regulation.

One thing, though: Some the Sacramento County medical-cannabis collectives Board of Supervisors need to do better. There was a raid on a San Bernardino needs to be called out on club shortly after the their lack of support for Supreme Court ruling. A fully loaded 12-gauge shotmedical cannabis. gun was one of the items seized in the raid. Not cool.

While I firmly believe that no one should ever go to jail for pot, having a fully loaded shotgun on the premises of your club does nothing to further the cause, and only makes us look bad. Please step your game up.

Ngaio Bealum is a Sacramento comedian, activist and marijuana expert.

Email him questions at ask420@ newsreview.com.

BEFORE

Where’s your favorite place to get high in Sacramento?

—Tommy the Tourist Short answer: Wherever I happen to be. Longer answer: It depends.

Smoking a jay while walking around the Vic Fazio Yolo Wildlife Area (www.yolobasin.org/wildlife.cfm) that’s located between Sac and Davis is especially great during springtime. Since I generally use cannabis as an activity enhancer (weed is the umami of doing stuff), you will find me enjoying a puff around the corner from, or on the patio of different nightclubs all over the greater-Sacramento region. There really aren’t any well-known places for people to gather and puff, like San Francisco’s “Hippie Hill,” the Oakland Coliseum’s “weed ramp” or New Orleans’ “Smoking Hole.” We should add that category to SN&R’s Best of Sacramento. Where do you good people like to puff? Send me your favorite spots, and I will print them here. Ω

|

NEWS

|

Bring in any competitor’s coupon and we’ll beat it by $5 Must present competitor’s ad. Some restrictions apply.

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SN&R

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49

ABove All diSPenSAry

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NEWS

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BEST

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BURBS

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05.16.13

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SN&R

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51

REDDing & SACRAMEntO

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by Mike blount

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the alter-

nate universe created by Marvel comic books, there is a mutant superhero called Squirrel Girl. She has the magic power to summon hordes of cute, furry squirrels.

Under her guidance, they swarm all over the bad guy she’s battling and disable him with their thousands of tiny chomps and thrashing tails. She and her rodent allies have defeated such arch villains as Dr. Doom, Deadpool, Baron Mordo and Ego the Living Planet. Let’s make her your role model for the coming weeks, Aries. The cumulative force of many small things will be the key to your victories. As in Squirrel Girl’s case, your adversaries’ overconfidence may also be a factor.

Joyce felt he had to absorb Dante in small doses. He said, “Dante tires one quickly; it is as if one were to look at the sun.” Is there any influence like that in your own life, Libra? Judging from the astrological omens, I’m guessing it’s a fine time for you to get as much sustained exposure to that glorious source as you can bear.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Greek poet Sappho was renowned in antiquity. The nine books she wrote were so esteemed that the historian Strabo wrote, “in this whole span of recorded time we know of no woman to challenge her as a poet even in the slightest degree.” And yet little of Sappho’s work survives. As of 2004, there were just 264 fragments and three complete poems. But then a fourth complete poem emerged. Its text was written on papyrus that had been wrapped in the casing of an Egyptian mummy. The mummy had been stored for years in a backroom at the University of Cologne in Germany before someone discovered its hidden treasure. Your assignment, Scorpio, is to seek an equivalent recovery.

Search for a part of the past that’s still beautiful and useful, even if that quest leads you to unlikely and obscure places.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You

have arrived at the edge of reality. Or rather, to be precise, you have arrived at the edge of what you think of as reality. Here’s where things could get very interesting. Just on the other side of that edge you’re brushing up against, there is much, much more reality—a vast territory you have barely imagined, let alone believed in or explored. Are you feeling brave? If you’re willing to find out about stuff you didn’t even realize you would love to experience, I suggest you slip across the border and wander around on the other side.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec.

21): When I turn my psychic attention in your direction, I smell smoldering smoke.

Here’s how I interpret that: Your internal fire is burning with less than maximum efficiency. Do you agree, Sagittarius? If so, do you know why that might be? Did you not provide enough kindling? Is the wood too green? Is the ground wet? I urge you to find out what the problem is. You can’t afford to have sputtering flames and sooty light and spotty warmth. You need a steady blaze that radiates brilliant light and strong heat.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): A character in Neil Gaiman’s graphic novel A Game of You delivers this speech: “Everybody has a secret world inside of them. ... No matter how dull and boring they are on the outside, inside them they’ve all got unimaginable, magnificent, wonderful, stupid worlds. Not just one world. Hundreds of them.” As a Gemini, you are not, of course, dull and boring on the outside.

That may have something to do with why your secret inner worlds are often even frothier and sparklier than most people’s.

But lately, I’m afraid, some of those secret inner worlds of yours have gotten a bit shabby and dank. It’s time for a deep cleansing. To be thorough, don’t just wash your own brain. Wash your wild heart and funky soul, too.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Very

few of us are completely uninhibited about expressing who we really are. Most everyone is shy about revealing at least one facet of his or her identity. Why? Maybe because we’re afraid that people will judge us harshly for being different from what they think we should be. Or maybe our secret side is at odds with our selfimage, and we hesitate to acknowledge it even to ourselves. What is this part of you, Capricorn? In what sense are you still in the closet about a truth or quality or event that’s central to your character?

I urge you to have a conversation with yourself about it. You aren’t necessarily ready to tell the whole world about it, but now might be the right time to start considering the possibility that you can give it more room to play.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “You begin

saving the world by saving one person at a time,” said writer Charles Bukowski. “All else is grandiose romanticism or politics.”

I invite you to make that thought one of your guiding principles in the coming week, Cancerian. Translate your high ideals into actions that make a practical impact on particular human beings and animals. Instead of merely talking about what good things you want to do, actually do them. As much as possible, be sure that every detail of your daily life reflects your vision of ultimate truth and beauty.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): I

absolutely forbid you to be a slave of happiness, a victim of pleasure or a prisoner of love. Wait. Sorry. I take that back. What gives me the right to forbid you from doing anything? It’s your life. You’re the boss. So let me reframe my previous advice: Dear Aquarius, I beg you not to be a slave of happiness, a victim of pleasure or a prisoner of love. None of the good things in life will give you what you need if you make yourself crazy or sick while pursuing them. That’s the cautionary news. The encouraging news is that in the next five weeks, I think you will have a knack for cultivating a graceful relationship with happiness, pleasure and love.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): If you were a

fledgling savior, now would be a propitious moment to begin your messianic mission.

If you were a musician hoping to leap to the next level of career success, this would be prime time to plan an extensive tour. If you were the inventor of the “next big thing,” I’d suggest that you get your marketing campaign in gear. And if none of those descriptions fit your personal situation, regard them as apt metaphors for your use. How can you spread the word about what’s most important to you?

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): As frontman

of the band Queen, Virgo singer Freddie Mercury made use of his four-octave range with flamboyant showmanship and breathtaking technique. Many critics regard him as one of the greatest vocalists in the history of pop music. Mercury joked that he was perfect except for one glaring flaw: his overbite. Because he had four extra teeth in his upper mouth, his top jaw protruded. But he chose not to alter his appearance with surgery because he suspected it might change his singing voice in unpredictable ways. Is there a comparable situation in your own life, Virgo? A so-called imperfection that seems to be entwined with a beautiful asset? I urge you to be like Mercury. Accept the paradox—embrace it and celebrate it—and move on.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The 14th-cen-

tury poet Dante was a major influence on 20th-century novelist James Joyce. “I love Dante,” wrote the author of the epic novel Ulysses. “He is my spiritual food.” And yet

BEFORE

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photo By Jonathan MendiCk

by Rob bRezsny

For the week of May 16, 2013

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Don’t be

like the ducks that are floating on Phoenix Lake a short distance from where I’m sitting. They’re feeding entirely on the surface, happy to skim a few insects from the top of the placid waters they’re drifting on. No, Pisces, be more like the frogs that are diving to probe for morsels down below. This is a phase of your astrological cycle when the quest for more variety can deepen your perspective and provide better nourishment.

Pretty, pretty brutal princess One day, she’s a princess, the next, she’s slashing people’s throats as a female Freddy Krueger. But that’s just a typical week for Miss Carlyfornia.

While most of us limit dressing up as our favorite heroes and villains to just one day a year on Halloween, Miss Carlyfornia (a.k.a. Carly Breslin) spends most of the year in costume as a cosplay artist and costume designer.

She’s created extravagant pieces that look like they could have come off the set of a Hollywood movie or right out of the pages of a comic book, and her work has been featured in magazines and convention shows across the Golden State. SN&R recently chatted with Miss Carlyfornia to discuss ruffles and lace, the Japanese schoolgirl look, and the rise of geek chic.

Where does the name ‘Miss Carlyfornia’ come from?

That’s a tough one. It’s not a name that I came up with. It was a nickname that kind of just stuck.

How long have you been doing cosplay and costume design?

I’ve been doing cosplay and making costumes since I was a young girl and would always jump at the chance to dress up and be a part of things. I’ve been professionally known as Miss Carlyfornia since 2004, when manga/ comic-book publishers Tokyopop approached me and asked me to enter their Princess Ai cosplay contest for Comic-Con International. I won, and they put me in their magazines and in their manga. I [had] made [costumes inspired by the] Gothic and Lolita [manga genre] for myself in the past, but all the positive feedback I received encouraged me to make clothes for sale.

What are some of your favorite creations that you’ve made?

Of course, my first Princess Ai costume will always be close to my heart because it’s the first professional cosplay that I created. I enjoy conceptual design in costuming for film and comic books, or as I like to call it, “reverse cosplay.” I am really proud of my work for the [new] Dravn issue of Heavy Metal magazine. I love comics, and I am very happy to be a part of the process and would like to do more of it in the future.

Creative process? you can call Rob Brezsny for your expanded Weekly horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18 or older. touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785. and don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

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BEST

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Well, it’s a little different for each piece.

Sometimes, it’s the fabric that speaks to me, and I can see the finished piece in my head and I just go to it. Other times, I sketch out what I would like to accomplish and take it from there. When I do cosplay, I usually create individual patterns on a dress form that I feel match the drawing.

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What is it about cosplay and costume design that interests you?

fabrics have a mind of their [own] and prove difficult to work with as you learn with the trade.

That’s simple for cosplay—I like to dress up. What got me into sewing cosplay and Gothic and Lolita [costumes] was seeing these amazing rock and fashion magazines from overseas and knowing that there was no way to buy these clothes or even afford them at the time. It really inspired me to learn how to create them myself. After I felt like I figured out the basics of the style, I was able to add my own touches, and then, eventually, evolve into my own style.

Cosplay is typically associated with video-game and anime conventions.

Is it changing and becoming less niche?

How long does it take to create a piece?

It’s all different. With an elegant Gothic and Lolita piece, it can take me up to a month to finish. There are a lot of ruffles and lace that take me a long time to create.

The materials can be difficult to gather for an intricate piece. If I’m doing something simple, like a Japanese-schoolgirl blouse, it would take me about an hour-and-a-half to take it from outlines with chalk on cloth to a whole finished blouse.

What materials and mediums do you use?

I use anything that strikes my fancy. I love using old velvet curtains, retro ’80s bed sheets, quilter’s cotton—you name it. If it has a pattern or texture that I like, I am going to use it.

Anything off-limits?

No, not really. But I do have fabric I [am] loathe to work with, like shiny acetate—fake silk—or gold lamé. Certain

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Comics and video games are more in the public eye. It seems that Hollywood is turning more and more to the comic industry for fresh new ideas. Just look at how well the Marvel movies are doing, for example.

I see more and more people dressing up like [characters from] The Avengers—not even knowing that what they are doing is called cosplay. People are more informed on the whole geek-chic movement, and I see it bleeding out into everyday life.

Advice for aspiring costume designers and cosplayers?

Go for it! If you feel nervous about cosplay or rocking some outfit that you’ve made, don’t be. There are so many creative and supportive people out there at your local anime, horror or comic conventions. I would be sad if aspiring artists didn’t take advantage of Sacramento’s great convention scene to help them flourish in their own way. Ω Check out Miss Carlyfornia’s work at upcoming comic, horror and anime conventions across California, including the Big Wow! ComicFest in San Jose on Saturday, May 18, through Sunday, May 19 (www.bigwowcomic fest.com); and Sac-Con in Sacramento on Sunday, June 2 (www.sac-con.com). For more upcoming shows, visit www.facebook.com/misscarlyfornia.

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