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BY AARON LAKE SMITH & AMY KLINE

WO UL D LI FE BE BE TT ER IF WE QU IT OU R SM AR TP HO NE S AN D DU MP ED SO CI AL ME DI A?

JACK UP THE

CONSCIOUS-RAP BOX see Music, page 39

GOODBYE EDITOR,

HELLO CO-EDITORS see Editor’s Note, page 3

HOW TO EAT A SQUIRREL see Essay, page 16

WILL FACEBOOK FAIL JERRY BROWN’S CHECKBOOK? see Frontlines, page 10

STATE FAIR

SECRETS see Night&Day, page 26

SACRAMENTO’S NEWS & ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY

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VOLUME 24, ISSUE 12

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EDITOR’S NOTE Welcome the new It was an early Thursday morning in April of 1989; I held in my hands the very first edition of the Sacramento News & Review.

Our editorial staff of two, including me, had worked for months to gather and write the stories published in that week’s Volume 1, No. 1. The paper’s owners, Jeff vonKaenel and Deborah Redmond, and other early loyalists, had also worked tirelessly on the care and feeding of that first issue.

As I thumbed through the pages that morning, it dawned on me—we have to do the whole thing again next week. And guess what? We did. And there was another week after that.

And that’s pretty much how it’s been these last 23 years. Exhilarating.

Exerting. Energizing.

As of this issue, for me, it’s time for exhaling. I’ve stepped down as SN&R’s editor and am excited about the company’s choice to have co-editors Rachel Leibrock and Nick Miller lead the editorial team from this issue forward.

Rachel, SN&R’s arts and culture editor, began writing for the paper in April 1995. She went on to a considerable career at The Sacramento Bee, then returned home to the SN&R in 2009. Nick, managing editor of SN&R, is a long-time devotee of the Sacramento music scene and has been chief overseer of our annual Sammies awards. His recent laser focus has been on the news side.

The co-editors’ joint smarts, energy and adeptness are impressive and already award winning.

These two are ready to go. And fired up.

I love this paper, its people, the mission. So I take great pleasure in turning editorial over to this new generation of journalists. They will, no doubt, continue to remind us why more than 300,000 people in our region are still eager each week to get their hands on the very latest edition of SN&R. —Melinda Welsh

July 5, 2012 | vol. 24, Issue 12

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05 07 10 15 17 20 24 26 29 33 34 36 39 51

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STREETALK LETTERS NEWS + BITES GREEN DAYS OPINION FEATuRE STORY ARTS&CuLTuRE NIGHT&DAY DISH ASK JOEY STAGE FILM MuSIC + Sound AdvIcE 15 MINuTES COVER dEsign BY haYlEY dOshaY

Halverson, Raheem F. Hosseini, Jeff Hudson, Jonathan Kiefer, Jim Lane, Greg Lucas, Patti Roberts, Steph Rodriguez, Amy Yannello

Our Mission To publish great newspapers that are successful and enduring. To create a quality work environment that encourages employees to grow professionally while respecting personal welfare. To have a positive impact on our communities and make them better places to live.

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Editor Melinda Welsh Managing Editor Nick Miller Senior Staff Writer Cosmo Garvin Arts & Culture Editor Rachel Leibrock Copy Editor Kyle Buis Associate Copy Editor Shoka Shafiee Calendar Editor Jonathan Mendick Editorial Coordinator Kel Munger Special Sections Editor Becca Costello Editorial Interns Kate Paloy, Sarah Vorn, Amy Wong Contributors Sasha Abramsky, Rob Brezsny, Josh Fernandez, Joey Garcia, Becky Grunewald, Mark

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STREETALK

“You can tell a lot about somebody by who supports them.”

Asked at the Arden/Del Paso Regional Transit station:

What’s your political deal breaker?

Tyquel Daniel

Gabrielle Sanchez

student

I don’t like how presidential candidates attack other candidates. … You should be worried about building up your political campaign and getting your delegates so you can compete in the election instead of attacking the other guy. ... If you do it fair and square, of course you got my vote.

James Chamberlain

student

student

A candidate that doesn’t do what they say they are going to do to help the community. Someone who goes out there and spends a whole bunch of money on one thing and taxes something else and doesn’t get the money back to help California and the rest of the United States.

security officer

I don’t like a political figure based on who supports him. ... There are people who don’t support a candidate—not because they don’t like the policy—but it’s because the candidate’s black, or they’re a woman, or they’re old. You can tell a lot about somebody by who supports them.

#1 - Sacramento News & Review - 6/28/12

Jacob Maxwell

Brandy Henning

Janette Mouck

unemployed

A candidate who won’t help with education funding and make it more affordable to go to school.

We definitely need a Democrat. You’re either rich or you’re poor right now. ... There definitely needs to be jobs created.

Also, religion. I heard Mitt Romney is Mormon. ... You have a right to your religion, but that is a no-no.

audio engineer

Cutting health-care funding for low-income citizens is a deal breaker for me. There needs to be more help for those who need it. And maybe unemployment, too, because we need more jobs.

When a candidate supports corporate banking and goes toward the people with money instead of representing the ... public like they’re supposed to.

And a candidate who is against basic free rights, such as the freedom of speech, freedom of religion, gay marriage, the right to abortion. Those things are your own personal choices.

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LETTERS

Visit us at www.newsreview.com or email sactoletters @ newsreview.com

Greedy and gluttonous

FIRST SHOT SN&R reader photo of the week PHOTO BY DIANA JAHNS

Re “Are you going to eat that?!” by Jonathan Mendick (SN&R Feature Story, June 28): Let’s put his ventures in perspective. What would possess anyone to eat embryonic beings? Missing the bones, beaks and feathers is a source of regret? Even if experimental, when does your sense of honor to the animals of this Earth take precedence over gluttony? Yes, gluttony!

The photo of the hundreds of quail eggs made me wonder where LETTER OF THE WEEK the hens were that produced so many eggs? What life of hell did they suffer before also going under the knife? How about the ducks?

Ducks belong on ponds or wild rivers, not shut in confined processing farms. We know how the pigs are handled (cages stuffed with pigs lying on each other like firewood).

I am asking the readers of this newspaper to rise above the cutesy-smarmsy lingo of “eat first, ask questions later,” and look greed and gluttony in the eye.

Asian cuisine, at times, borders on repulsive and abusive. It is distressing to me, who knows quails from seeing them happily running through the underbrush in the mountains, to see their young exploited in such a crude, wasteful manner. And don’t tell me that the crunch of the bones of an unborn bird does anything for you. It reminds me of the unborn, aborted human fetuses ground into powder and taken as a capsule to enhance the vitality of an adult: just flat-out predatory!

This article points out more instances of careless, disregard for the animal and human integrity in the food equation. How about some articles revealing what is wrong with all that is found in these unnamed packages?

Janet Schultz El Dorado Hills

Which way does the wind blow?

Re “The weatherman” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Feature Story, June 21): The weatherman on your cover led me to think it was a story on Mitt Romney until I read on. After all, Mitt is not bad looking, he chooses his words carefully and ensures himself protective deniability at every step.

In the 1948 presidential election I was only 6, but remember Republican candidate Thomas Dewey being compared the “the man (figure) on a wedding cake.” How well Mitt Romney fits that archetype.

In subsequent elections, [Richard] Nixon lost by the sweat on his chin, and Mitt’s father, George [Romney], was counted out when he said he had been “brainwashed.” [Michael] Dukakis, another Massachusetts governor, appeared in an oversized military helmet atop a tank, and he lost. Al Gore claimed to have invented the Internet, and lost (to the Supreme Court, at least). In 2004, Sen. [John] Kerry parasailed, another bad optic.

Mitt Romney remembers his father’s contretemps and is cautious to the point of woodenness. Would he have pulled the trigger on Osama bin Laden? He is probably a bit too conservative to have done that.

Jim Carlson Rocklin

Rowboats on K Street?

Re “The weatherman” by Cosmo Garvin (SN&R Feature Story, June 21) and “Eco despair” by Auntie Ruth (SN&R An Inconvenient Ruth, June 21): What a double whammy of time-towake-upness in these two pieces. We’re BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

just not paying attention to what’s happening around us.

Maybe we’re too “plugged in,” but any old-timer could tell you that Sacramento’s way overdue for a bad flood—and while there aren’t any people left who saw the flood of 1862, we’ve had plenty of bad ones since.

Someone sent me an email that said, “Climate is what you affect, and weather is what you get.” As Auntie Ruth pointed out, the damage is done where the climate’s concerned. Now, we’ll see what we get. If it’s rain—and it could be—we may find ourselves in the kind of shape our greatgreat grandparents were, using rowboats on K Street.

Get ready for all those California State Fair pics that will be popping up on Instagram (you know you love ’em!) when the fair opens Thursday, July 12. Anyway, send your favorite pic to SN&R at firstshot@newsreview.com, and maybe it will make it into an upcoming issue.

It’s not just about the pot Re “Activists outraged over El Camino Wellness raid” by Nick Miller (SN&R Beats, June 21): This is just another reason that we must get rid of the Manchurian in D.C. He has proven to be against U.S. interests on practically every avenue.

He is for illegal aliens over Americans for jobs, for [socialized] medicine against a system that works, although [it] is in need of some overhauls. He is for socialism/communism over capitalism. He refuses to give information about his background, and that which manages to leak out is somewhat disastrous. Somehow, he has managed to keep the press from providing information about himself, and they are afraid to give him bad press.

How is he managing to do that? Kick this idiot out. The government is more out of control than any I have seen in my 61 years of life, much worse for impeachment than [President Bill] Clinton for his BJ in the Oval Office or [President Richard] Nixon for Watergate. He is even worse than [President] Jimmy Carter for not getting anything accomplished.

Prior to winning the presidency, he said he would not prosecute medical marijuana in those states with medical-marijuana laws. Now this?

Jan Kline Sacramento

We can’t keep this up Re “Eco despair” by Auntie Ruth (SN&R An Inconvenient Ruth, June 21): Thanks to Auntie Ruth for calling attention to the environmental threat posed by our unsustainable and growing world population. The Earth is now in “overshoot,” where we are consuming renewable resources 50 percent faster than the planet can provide. Many organizations inform the public on this issue, but with the world population growing by 200,000 every day, there is still much work to be done.

On November 17, 2007, the Sierra Club Board of Directors stated, “Global population is already larger than can be sustained. … The situation is urgent and deserves more attention than it is getting.” In the intervening five years, the global population has grown by another 400 million, to 7 billion and counting. Talk about unsustainable!

FEATURE

STORY

Tola Sholotan, a driver for SN&R’s distribution team since April 2011, died June 20.

During her time with the paper, Sholotan grew 500 distribution accounts in the Roseville, Folsom and El Dorado Hills regions. She is survived by her two sons, Lolu and Yemi. She will be missed— SN&R extends its condolences to the entire Sholotan family.

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Email it to firstshot@ newsreview.com.

Please include your full name and phone number. File size must not exceed 10 MB.

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She put her hand over my mouth, and with a warm-breathed whisper said, “Quiet.

You’ll wake the kids.”

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FRONTLINES Garbage in …

Ay yi yi. Another year, another barrage of

ugly revelations about the Twin Rivers Unified School District. It used to be SN&R would get

nasty letters whenever we asked why the district seemed so messed up. Not so much anymore.

Last week’s Sacramento grand-jury report on

by COSMO GARVIN TRUSD is a near bottomless list of abuses by people who really ought to be gone. The Twin Rivers Police Department in particular comes off as a very unfunny version of the Keystone Kops: ticketing and towing cars to gin up revenue, “jumping calls” to actual police agencies and just generally harassing citizens.

All together now: Shut it down. Just contract out to a real police department. It’s cheaper. It’s safer. It’s less embarrassing. And the grand jury won’t be up in your business every year.

Also fun, the grand jury’s report blasting the city of Sacramento for its garbage contract, locking us into the highest trash pick-up rates in the county.

The jurors faulted city staff for not seeking competitive bids and failing to do proper financial analysis of the contract. Mostly all too late now. Though Bites was curious about the finding that “lobbying by immediate past city managers was problematic for some city staff,” and a recommendation that there be some sort of prohibition against that sort of lobbying in the future. To which Bites says, “Wait, what?”

Last week brought good news that sports programs in Sac city schools will be back next year, after being eliminated in some pretty brutal budget cuts.

None too soon, which is good, since would almost certainly fall in with Just contract Nibbles some sort of no-good hipster fixie gang if not out to a real police for basketball. It cost about $1 million to sports back. department. bringCoincidentally, that’s about the same It’s cheaper. amount of cutting the Sacramento City Unified District did earlier this year beyond It’s safer. School what was actually needed. The school board Shut it down. approved $28.9 million in cuts. The actual shortfall turned out to be $27.9 million.

SCUSD teachers, hit hard again this year with layoffs, agreed to give up somewhere around $5 million to $6 million in concessions (mostly furlough days and increases to health-insurance copays). Problem is, they don’t know really what the money is being used for.

“We asked for it to bring back jobs,” and stave off increases in class size, says Scott Smith, president of the Sacramento City Teachers Association.

“We are disappointed that the district has not yet used these concessions to bring back our members and lower class sizes.”

Meanwhile, the union has gone ahead and filed a lawsuit against the district’s “skipping” policy, which protected the jobs of teachers at Superintendent Jonathan Raymond’s special priority schools while allowing teachers with more seniority, but who worked at lower-priority schools, to get the ax.

Hey, remember Arnold Schwarzenegger? He was sort of a Republican and governor of California for a while?

Back in 2007, Schwarzenegger was still governor, and health-care reform was a really big thing in the statehouse. Everybody had their own ideas. You had Sheila Kuehl pushing her single-payer health-care bill. Sigh.

Schwarzenegger had his own plan, which hinged on something called the “individual mandate.” It was kind of like the Massachusetts plan, crafted by another Republican governor. Who was that guy again?

Democrats and labor groups didn’t care for the individual mandate. Said the government shouldn’t force you to buy insurance. Silly Democrats. Statehouse Republicans didn’t like the individual mandate, either, but they really didn’t like the employer mandates. They don’t much like anything, do they? Anyway, the whole socialist plot unraveled, of course, which is a good thing, because it’s impossible to spell Schwarzeneggercare. Ω

10

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The Facebook crunch Capitol wonks vary with state-budget projections as the mega-site’s stock proves unpredictable—and tough to like To hear some media outlets tell it, Facebook’s stock price is going to make or break California’s budget. by The state estimates income-tax revenues of Greg Lucas anywhere from $1.5 billion to $2.1 billion from the Menlo Park-based company going public and, in the process, creating several billionaires.

Not the least of which is Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s founder, who exercised 60 million stock options worth $2.3 billion.

When shares of the social-media giant fell from their $42.05 opening price on May 18, to close at $30.77 on July 2, a spate of coverage predicted dire consequences for the state budget, which faced a gap between revenue and spending commitments of $15.7 billion.

Television stations—vamping on an Associated Press story in May that stated “California’s budget could take a hit if Facebook’s stock price keeps sliding”— breathed heavily that the budget hole would deepen based on the fortunes of the eight-yearold social network.

Sure, the budget hole might deepen, but in a fiscal year that has a $92 billion general fund and estimated state income-tax collections of $60.3 billion: ho-hum.

The high end $2.1 billion in tax revenue from Facebook, estimated by the Legislative Analyst’s Office, represents just fewer than 3.5 percent of total income-tax receipts. The lower $1.5 billion estimate, by the California Department of Finance, less than 2.5 percent.

“It’s a massive IPO,” said Brad Williams, a senior partner with Capitol Matrix Consulting.

“But in terms of being determinative of the overall revenue performance this year and next year, its impact is pretty modest. It will be outweighed by broader financial and economic developments.”

Williams argued that the general direction of the stock market, wages, unemployment levels and the strength of overall business income will “weigh more heavily on the personal income-tax total over this year and the next.”

Of course, there’s nothing ho-hum about the initial public offering to Facebook’s executives and employees, many of whom will become, at a minimum, millionaires.

A total of nearly 379 million restricted-stock units—RSUs, as they’re commonly called—are owned by Facebook’s 3,000 employees.

Of those RSUs, 240 million are eligible to become shares six months after the date of the IPO.

For example, come November 18, the more than 25 million RSUs held by Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook’s chief operating officer and an employee of the company for four years, will make her a billionaire—if the share price stays at $37 or above. At $35 a share, she’d merely be in the high hundreds of millions.

Nothing would please lawmakers and the Brown administration more than for Sandberg to become a billionaire.

“This is much different than Google in 2004.”

H.D. Palmer spokesman, California Department of Finance The state doesn’t care that Nasdaq didn’t list the stock on time for the IPO, or that investors filed a lawsuit claiming Facebook didn’t properly disclose important financial information.

Nor does the state care that Priscilla Chan, now Zuckerberg’s wife, insisted he adhere to a “relationship contract” stipulating at least one date and a minimum of 100 minutes of quality time each week—plus two weeks of vacation abroad annually.

And the state is only peripherally interested that Facebook has 901 million active users, logs 2.7 billion “likes” and comments each day and boasts 100 billion friendships.

California is all Jerry Maguire all the time: Show the cash-starved general fund the money.

If the stock price is $50 in November, statebudget writers would be ecstatic. If the price stays around the $32, the vicinity where it is now, the Legislative Analyst estimates the state would reap $1.6 billion in tax revenue instead of $2.1 billion.

Both the LAO and the Department of Finance say that Facebook’s S-1, the document the company filed prior to the IPO, contains much more specificity than was available for California’s last major IPO. “This is much different than Google in 2004,” said H.D. Palmer, spokesman for the state Department of Finance. “From Facebook’s disclosure documents, we knew how many options Zuckerberg was going to exercise, we knew the universe of stock that would flow to other Facebook employees and we knew the date when all that was going to happen.”

AT&T-union spat See FRONTLINES

13

Soil vs. concrete

15

Nuclear feud!

See GREEN DAYS

See AN INCONVENIENT RUTH

15

Squirrel, meet belly See ESSAY

16

Foodies fight Congress See EDITORIAL

17

BEATS In theory, this allows for more precise estimates of the IPO’s impact on state coffers, although an examination of the track record of the state’s guestimators over the past two decades finds them in the same boat as King Balthazar of Babylon: weighed in the balance and found wanting.

The LAO and the Department of Finance both admit there’s potentially a large margin of error over the ultimate budgetary pluses or minuses when it comes to Facebook, because it’s hard to predict what share price will be six months from now.

“While state revenues could be hundreds of millions below our estimates and the administration’s in some scenarios, the revenues could also be $1 billion or $2 billion above our respective estimates,” the analyst wrote on May 15.

Jason Sisney of the LAO reminded that state budget forecasts are always based on assumptions.

“What’s unusual this year is that, besides the usual stock-market uncertainties, we had this enormous uncertainty about one particular stock,” he said. “We know the state will get substantial revenue related to the IPO, but the question is how much. We still don’t have a precise answer to that. By November, we’ll have a better idea.”

This uncertainty could be one reason the Department of Finance took a more conservative view of revenue derived from the IPO—always better to have an upside than a downside.

Facebook’s shares will trade at $35 in November, the department

BEFORE

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predicts in its estimates. The department also assumed the stock would initially sell for $35 instead of the $38 it actually did.

Under the department’s model, the state will receive $283 million in Facebook-related taxes during the current fiscal year that ended June 30—some $200 million of it from Zuckerberg.

Another $1.2 billion will be received in the next fiscal year, derived mainly from the withholding paid as part of the RSU transactions in November.

If Gov. Jerry Brown’s temporary taxincrease proposal passes in November, with its three higher brackets for the state’s wealthier taxpayers, that would yield another $400 million for the state.

That would be gravy. Finance doesn’t count the $400 million in its revenue total.

The LAO takes a less static approach. It assumes a $38 IPO price and predict share price climbs to $45 in November, yielding $2.1 billion in tax revenue between now and June 30, 2013, the end of the next fiscal year.

A factor considered by both the LAO and the Department of Finance—but not included in their revenue estimates—is what Facebook’s 1,000 shareholders do with the 1.9 billion Facebook shares already outstanding as of December 31, 2011.

Facebook’s S-1 is silent on their disposition.

Facebook also declined to comment for this story.

Most of the shares, 1.1 billion, are concentrated in the

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FEATURE

STORY

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Neighborhood news is good news

hands of company executives, directors and investors holding a 5 percent or greater ownership stake.

There’s a six-month “lock-up” period after the IPO, but after that the LAO and the Department of Finance hypothesize that the major investors will likely divest themselves of at least some of their holdings. So might executives and other shareholders, just as Zuckerberg swiftly sold 30.2 million of his shares after the IPO for a cool $1.1 billion.

“That presents the possibility for a large amount of capital gains, much of it likely attributable to California residents,” says a Department of Finance memo analyzing the IPO’s revenue effects.

According to one estimate, if 25 percent of that stock is sold and 75 percent of the sellers are California residents with a gain of $25 per share, the state could reap $800 million or more in additional taxes.

A final unknown is the ripple effect the IPO will have on the state economy.

With market capitalization of $100 billion and more than $10 billion in income generated for Californians, the Facebook IPO represents roughly one-fifth of the state’s estimated 4.9 percent personal-income growth in 2012.

And some of that income will be spent on purchases of cars or other big-ticket sales-tax items. More money in the pockets of at least 3,000 Californians could also spur real-estate sales—particularly in the Bay Area and vacation destinations.

“There are going to be numerous secondary effects from the IPO—some tax-planning measures will offset some of the income—but some of those effects may add even more tax revenue,” said Williams.

But, as Sisney says, California will know a lot more on November 18. Ω

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Oh, the trouble that awaits a teen with too much time on his hands. Drugs and delinquency. A summer job at Hot Dog on a Stick. Shudder to think.

But now thanks to Access Sacramento, one group of Sacramento youths will instead spend the summer as journalists—a whole different sort of trouble.

“These are kids who have never been told that their opinion is important. And they have more nuanced opinions than you might think,” said Isaac Gonzales, who serves as mentor and assignment editor for Access Sacramento’s Neighborhood News youth-correspondent program.

The young reporters have been productive in their first few weeks, as you can see by visiting www.accesslocal.tv.

For example, one post skewers high-school zero-tolerance policies, from the point of view of someone who has been kicked out of school. Another correspondent gives an enthusiastic review of Oak Park’s Happy Takeout Chinese restaurant.

One enterprising reporter documented the city’s Cut Your Cubes carbon-pollution-awareness event downtown, and also covered a pedestrian and bike-safety-traffic study that’s happening in south Sacramento. One student wrote about cuts to advanced-placement classes and other needed programs in her high school, while another did a write-up of the proposed McDonald’s drive-thru that was rejected by the Sacramento City Council in Oak Park.

The program is an outgrowth of Access Sacramento’s Neighborhood News program, which has been going for about a year, and gets its funding from the California Endowment.

Some of the money is being used to pay students a small stipend every week for their work.

“The results have been pretty amazing,” said Gonzales, who admits that he himself was “kind of a punk” when he was younger.

“For some nonprofits, the best they can do is give the kids a place to be for two hours, where they’re not going to do something bad,” said Gonzales. But neighborhood news correspondents are on the hook for certain “deliverables” every week, including a 200- to 500-word story, a threeminute video, and attending a weekly production meeting.

The students also take part in a podcast every other week, and “they even have press passes. So they can go out and talk to people and say, ‘I’m with Access Sacramento.’”

Ron Cooper, the executive director of Access Sacramento, hopes the Neighborhood News experiment can help make provide better coverage for neighborhoods that have always been underserved, “and now are even more poorly served because of the cutbacks in newsrooms.”

Long before everybody had a Tumblr and a Twitter feed, Access Sacramento has tried to get the tools of the media into the hands of the people. (The Access Sacramento mission statement is “Giving voice to the thoughts, dreams, opinions and community events not otherwise seen or heard on commercial and public radio, television and other popular forms of media.”)

“I like to think that what we do is sort of a social laboratory. We can try new things,” said Cooper. (Cosmo Garvin)

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Telecom conflict Angry AT&T customers might empathize as local union takes on corporate behemoth The Communication Workers of America, many of whom do their jobs here in Sacramento, rallied at the state Capitol last week against what they story say are AT&T’s hardball tactics in current conand photo by tract talks.

Seth Sandronsky AT&T is seeking lower wages and wants to pass more health-care and pension costs on to employees, according to Sara Steffens, a CWA staffer. The telecommunications outfit, however, argues that it simply wants fairness when it comes to worker earnings and benefits.

“AT&T is a very successful and profitable company—thanks to our members,” reminded Lupe Mercado, CWA Local 9421 president, during the protest. The 54-year-old represents 1,700 workers in the Sacramento area.

The exponential gap between corporate and employee wages at AT&T continues to expand.

In 2011, AT&T’s CEO and president Randall Stephenson had a total compensation that was 647 times larger than the average worker’s annual pay, or $22,018,334, according to an AFL-CIO database.

That average worker pay, meanwhile, is $34,000.

AT&T reported first-quarter 2012 revenues of $31.8 billion, due in large measure to strong consumer demand for smartphones and dataplan subscriptions.

But the capital region CWA members protesting last week don’t drive smartphone revenue; they’re “wireline” technicians— who, for instance, install telephone and video services—or customer-service employees at call centers, according to Libby Sayre, an area organizer for CWA, District 9.

The stalled contract talks involve a total of 43,000 workers, whose four CWA-AT&T contracts expired in April.

AT&T insists it will take care of its workers. “Our employees in these contracts are very well compensated, and they will continue to be,” assured spokesman Marty Richter.

He noted that AT&T is performing well overall, which allows the telecom giant to

AT&T employees rally for more money and better benefits.

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provide “high-quality middle-class careers” to its 250,000 employees.

“The average AT&T network technician in these contracts makes $90,000 in wages and $43,000 in benefits,” Richter said. “The average call-center rep makes $67,000 in wages and $40,000 in benefits.”

But Richter explained that a “small and declining” percentage of AT&T’s income and profit comes from its “shrinking” wireline business. “[Which] is where the employees in these contracts work,” Richter said.

According to its recent quarterly report, AT&T had a 2.5 percent drop in wireline revenues in 2011 vs. 2010. Yet, AT&T’s first quarter 2012 earnings news release stated that “wireline business year-over-year revenue comparisons continue to improve.”

At the June 27 rally, rank-and-file CWA members spoke out against what they claim is an attack on the American Dream and middleclass living.

Suzie Bledsoe, a 13-year AT&T employee and CWA member who lives in Sacramento and works in a company service center, said “the company [needs] to stop outsourcing our jobs … because AT&T is making a lot of money.”

“We care about our customers, and we deliver the product,” said local CWA president Mercado, “so AT&T workers deserve proper compensation, health care [that] it took years to get and a good retirement.”

Area organizer Sayre also emphasized that AT&T’s demand to shift rising health-care costs to CWA employees “is particularly problematic.”

Spokesman Richter pointed out, however, that the average AT&T wireline employee covered by these contracts pays some 60 percent less for health care than other AT&T unionized employees, managers and the national average.

“Health-care costs in the U.S. continue to rise, which means the costs paid by companies and employees will continue to rise,” he said.

Assemblyman Roger Dickinson (D-Sacramento) backed the unions. “We will continue to push and prod AT&T to protect your health care and wages for your and your family,” he told CWA members at the rally.

The CWA stated that thousands of California and Nevada members took part in the one-day strike to protest AT&T West’s threatening of employees over “union activity.”

Bargaining for wages, benefits, pension and work rules began this past February. “The two sides have agreed to continue bargaining and employees are continuing to work under the terms of the old agreement while negotiations continue,” said Richter.

In the end, though, experts believe there will be agreement. “This contract negotiation will likely go the way of past negotiations,” said Jeff Kagan, a telecommunications analyst.

“The CWA and AT&T will stand opposed, but will meet somewhere in the middle. Ω STORY

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We were three months away from our first issue, and we had no office, so the first SN&R meeting was held at my kitchen table in January 1989. There, a small group sat around discussing our plans for creating Sacramento’s new alternative weekly. One of the people at that table was Melinda Welsh.

At that first meeting in 1989, I said I was sure that we would be successful, just as we had been successful in Chico. But I also said, “When we are successful, people will ask about my plan. But I don’t have a plan.

I just believe that the people around this table can figure it out.”

For 23 years, Melinda has been doing just that.

Starting with the very first issue, Melinda defined our relationship with Sacramento as “tough love.” While The Sacramento Bee at that time seemed to be more interested in Melinda defined the Bay Area, we would focus our relationship our spotlight on Sacramento.

And while others with Sacramento would only see our town a midpoint between San as “tough love.” as Francisco and Tahoe, we believed in Sacramento. We cared for our city’s music, theater and art scenes, and we wanted to make sure the many diverse voices of our town could be heard.

There are many different kinds of publications, and there are many different kinds of alternative weeklies.

Melinda created a paper that nourished and challenged our community by believing it could be better. Over the last 23 years, Sacramento’s music and art scenes have dramatically grown, Midtown came into being, For evidence of the impact Melinda has the city politics are no longer dominated by a small had on our city over group of insiders, the diversity of our town is celethe last 23 years, visit brated, and there is a much greater and well-deserved www.newsreview.com/ pride in our city. sacramento/ Over two decades, Melinda focused the “tough love” melinda-welsh/author. spotlight on our community. I believe that this spotlight helped create positive change. And the love was not only directed toward our community, it has been directed toward all of us who have been lucky enough to work with Melinda. She has made all of us better. She made her staff better writers. And she helped make many of us at the paper better people.

This is her final issue as SN&R’s editor. She is leaving the editor’s position to work on special projects.

Replacing her will be Nick Miller and Rachel Leibrock, our new co-editors.

There are good colleagues who, when they move on, Jeff vonKaenel is the president, CEO are missed. And there a few, a very few, whose impact is and majority owner so significant and so sustaining that it defines the organiof the News & Review zation. Melinda has in so many ways defined us here at newspapers in Sacramento, the paper. We are so lucky and so grateful that she was at Chico and Reno. the table that day in 1989. And we are so lucky that she continued to sit at the table with us for 23 years. Ω

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Soil isn’t dead

A nuclear feud Backer of possible November ballot measure says misleading state analysis foiling anti-nuke campaign California’s once and future nuclear warrior is at it again.

Ben Davis Jr., a Santa Cruz resiby Christopher Arns dent who helped draft initiatives shutting down Rancho Seco Nuclear Generating Station more than 20 years ago, is pushing a ballot measure that would shutter California’s two remaining power plants at Diablo Canyon and San Onofre. Calling it the “Nuclear Waste Act of 2012,” Davis wants the plants closed until the federal government can store radioactive waste from nuclear power.

The anti-nuclear activist is hoping public concern over last year’s Fukushima Daiichi Power Plant meltdown in Japan will buoy his initiative. But so far, the initiative process has hit a snag.

Davis is struggling to gather the required signatures to get on the November ballot. He blames the state’s nonpartisan Legislative Analyst’s Office, which said the Nuclear Waste Act could “likely” result in rolling blackouts and cost the state billions in yearly energy costs.

Davis believes that analysis killed efforts to gather signatures.

Green Days is on the “We lost huge amounts of group lookout for innovative support because of the LAO’s misleadsustainable projects throughout the ing report,” said Davis.

The anti-nuclear crusader claims Sacramento region.

Turn us on at there’s no merit to the LAO’s report, sactonewstips@ because California has an energy surnewsreview.com. plus, even after the plant at San Onofre went offline earlier this year and closed indefinitely for unforeseen maintenance problems.

Davis cited figures from the California Energy Commission, which show the state would still have a 21 percent energy surplus during an extremely hot summer without the San Onofre power plant.

“Not only is there no evidence for the LAO’s claim that there would be rolling blackouts, but no agencies stood up for that,” said Davis.

Not so fast, says LAO analyst Tiffany Roberts. She stands behind the report, which was drafted after consultations with the energy commission and the California Independent System Operator, the public agency BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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by AUNTIE RUTH

Auntie Ruth’s column two weeks back had the chipper

Will state analysis keep an anti-nuke measure off November’s ballot?

responsible for managing 80 percent of the state’s daily power needs.

“We’ve done a lot of work with [California ISO], with the California Energy Commission and other energy stakeholders to try to understand what the impact from this initiative would be,” said Roberts.

“There’s no basis to say that what we’ve done is misleading.”

The anti-nuclear crusader claims there’s no merit to the Legislative Analyst’s Office report, because California has an energy surplus.

But do those state agencies agree with the LAO report?

Both Cal ISO and the energy commission had mixed reactions when the LAO asked for help examining the Davis initiative. In a letter sent to the LAO in October 2011, analyst Ivin Rhyne said “the commission is not in a position to opine formally on the impact of removing nuclear-power plants from operation.”

Instead the commission deferred to Cal ISO, which also wrote to the LAO last October. In that letter, Cal ISO vice president Keith Casey said the state had backup power but remained “concerned” about shutting down the state’s two nuclear plants, which produce more than 9 percent of statewide energy.

“In looking forward to next summer, if faced with the immediate shutdown of [San Onofre], we are anticipating returning to elevated risks of outages particularly in the [Los Angeles] basin and San Diego areas,” Casey concluded.

FEATURE

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While California does have an energy surplus, the state can’t automatically direct excess power to trouble spots, stated Cal ISO spokesman Steven Greenlee.

“Just because there’s a surplus doesn’t mean the grid can serve certain areas when they need it,” said Greenlee.

Davis still believes the LAO is overstating the impact from his initiative. On June 13, he filed a petition in California Supreme Court asking to strike LAO references to rolling blackouts from the measure.

That petition was denied on June 20, but Davis says he might file a similar petition in superior court.

Even if he succeeds, other nuclearreform advocates say they still won’t back the initiative.

“I think the public would be better served going through their elected representatives and oversight agencies and demanding them to do their job,” said Rochelle Becker, executive director of Alliance for Nuclear Responsibility. “Let’s push the process that’s already started rather than creating a new one.” Ω

headline “Eco despair.” Such smiley-face moments are an occupational hazard endemic to the climate-change beat. So often the future is bleak.

But, hey.

In a world where Sir Paul McCartney wants meatless school lunches and Justin Timberlake’s golf course reportedly has amazing green features and Sam Simon (The Simpson’s co-creator) is buying the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society a new ship and Def Leppard’s Phil Collen is a vegan. Why—in a world where MTV has a machine that recycles credit cards into guitar picks—why so glum?

Let’s perk up out there. Behind every polluted sky there’s a beautiful Flower power? sunset.

And under every driveway, there’s a beautiful garden. Maybe.

Auntie Ruth wonders what happens to all the exceptional farmland submerged beneath a housing subdivision.

It’s a pertinent question, here in a valley that is internationally known for some of the finest farm land in the world—covered with acres and acres of malls and housing. Is that farmland, once developed, gone forever, or is it just in hiding, waiting for the right moment to come back to life?

According to Garrison Sposito, a professor of soil science at UC Berkeley, the soil that lies beneath concrete could return to productivity. As detailed on Grist (www.grist.org), the farmland under asphalt is less renewable—asphalt evidently comes awash in carcinogens—but that found under concrete, a lesstoxic brethern, can come back over time. Granted, much of the good stuff of good soil—like worms—doesn’t linger much once the McMansions start going up. But the soil can come back over the years, returning to something quite farmable.

Yer Auntie just likes that idea. Soil isn’t dead, just because we plopped a slab of concrete and a house on top of it.

And, with residential-land values falling nearly 70 percent since a peak in 2006, and the value of U.S. cropland increasing near 20 percent between 2007 and 2011 (The Wall Street Journal), perhaps the line to despair isn’t as straight as it sometimes look.

Courage, comrades. Courage. Ω (Come friend Aunt Ruth on Facebook and let’s hang out.)

ECO-HIT Green-tech porn

If you frequent Pinterest, you’re probably familiar with the millions of products, DIY projects and gadgets you’ll never have time or money for. Well, now there’s a time-wasting site for armchair environmentalists and adamant fans of green tech. EnviroGadget (www.envirogadget.com) highlights green gadgets that will both look good in your home and garden and possibly lower your energy bill. Run by British blogger Dan Harrison, the site highlights the practical (such as eco-friendly lighting, clothing and accessories) and stuff you never knew you needed (such as solar-powered lawn-mowing robots, bicycle-powered iPhone chargers and greenthemed playing cards).

A RT S & C U LT U R E

A different kind of green screen.

—Jonathan Mendick |

AFTER

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ESSAY

Squirrel stew These rats of the canopy are multiplying all over Sacramento. Why not put them to good use?

Help wanted Business Manager

SN&R is now hiring a Business Manager. You will be responsible for ensuring the accurate and timely operation of all financial functions of the News & Review’s three papers, including general ledger, payroll, accounts payable and receivable, credit and collections, budgets and financial reporting, business filings, and insurance. this position is responsible for creating ongoing improvements and enhancements to the overall operation and effectiveness of the accounting function. you will interact with the bank, accounting firm, vendors, management team and our awesome staff. requires 2+ years supervision/management experience and Ba/BS degree, preferably in accounting or Business.

To read the full announcement and apply online, go to

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The squirrels are starting to look a little better every year—not really because of anything they’re doing differently, but in light of the ecoby Crawdad Nelson nomic situation at least 99 percent of the rest of us are in. I figure it’s only a matter of time a language and organic-matter worker before the squirrel population in at least in Sacramento some parts of Sacramento goes into noticeable decline.

So here are a few helpful hints.

The first thing you need to understand about squirrels is that they are really rats of the canopy. This is based on the scientific facts that both will eat damned near anything, and both will gnaw on anything else until it becomes a fire hazard.

The key difference is that squirrels are somewhat more edible.

I can’t tell you what a rat tastes like, and I hope it never comes to that. But eating a squirrel, while difficult, need not be considered impossible. In fact, with only a small adjustment to one’s expectations and a somewhat larger adjustment to one’s cooking skills, just about anybody can learn to enjoy squirrel, rather than simply endure it as one of the inevitable stations of declining empire.

I can’t tell you what a rat tastes like, and I hope it never comes to that.

But eating a squirrel, while difficult, need not be considered impossible.

A second key fact to bear in mind is that many cultures, including various American subcultures, eat squirrel to this day.

Obviously, they have worked at the problem and at least come to an acceptable compromise, so all we need do is absorb a few more quirks into our infinitely flexible national persona.

As far as that goes, hardly an American pioneer made it through youth without becoming an expert hunter of squirrels, and this is equally true for nearly any European transplant or native of the continent, as far as I know.

Manifest Destiny itself relied on squirrels to feed the teeming masses in the absence of larger game, which was not uncommon with the woods full of pioneers. Daniel Boone, for instance, is said to have made it a specialty to “bark” his targeted tree rodents, because the 50-caliber musket ball used in his legendary

Kentucky rifle, right on target, would punch a saucer full of meat out of a creature assembled by the tablespoon. Barking required hitting the squirrel’s perch, usually a tree branch, near enough the squirrel’s beady but pestilent eyes to stun the creature with shrapnel, then dashing across the woodland floor, when it fell, before it blinked itself awake and administering a coup de grâce.

As youths, of course, we hunted squirrel.

This was decades ago and hardly seemed odd at the time. Many a junior-high lunch hour was spent comparing notes on squirrel habitat, weapons of choice and ammo. Once in a while, we got one.

We had an uncle who had grown up in the Depression, so naturally he knew all about cooking squirrel. He “zimmered” it. The little bodies were jointed into clumps of miniature anatomy: a leg bent sharply under taut ligaments, streaks of fat, bones more bird than animal. It bubbled along in the pan with some onions, apparently some milk and splashes of wine—probably white—and lots of black pepper. The uncle was of the old school, meaning he had learned his cookery at a logging camp, more or less as punishment, and left open a standing offer to hand over his culinary duties as effective prior retort to any criticism.

Thus, we ate squirrel as well, ate least once or twice. It was tougher than an A&W burger, probably not as tough as a shoe. But somewhere between those extremes, improved but not perfected by the uncle, the wine, the onions, the atmosphere and the 10mile hike over steep mountain trails required to fill a pan with squirrel bits. We chewed our squirrel and learned to like it.

The point is, they are reproducing and multiplying all over town, while things just get tougher for everyone else. They steal every pecan from the pecan tree before it ripens, and they do the same thing to the walnut. Which is all well and good, as far that goes. But then they go after the strawberries and the loganberries, which I don’t think is right.

I don’t mean to imply that anyone should try anything illegal, immoral or in any way out of line. But if a squirrel should be killed—say by falling from a tree—and one still hasn’t quite caught up on the bills, one should at least consider whether it would have wanted its life to have any meaning, where the word “meaning” means “contributing to the survival of somebody bigger than you, who owns a car and more than one pair of pants.”

The meaning of the word “zimmer,” we were told, is “accept the inevitable.” It is from an obscure American dialect. Just like most of us. Ω

OPINION

EDITORIAL

THIS MODERN WORLD

BY TOM TOMORROW

Inhumane and unsporting When I look down at five innocent and wholesome With 83 percent of Californians opposed to Plott hound puppies tumbling over one hound hunting, scrutiny of this activity is long another in my living room, it’s hard to think overdue. The Senate passed S.B. 1221, and it is that one of these sweet pups could have now before the Assembly for consideration. easily been lost, abandoned or mauled by a The growing momentum behind S.B. 1221 black bear or bobcat. These puppies were prompted the breeder of these puppies to surbred to hound and harass wildlife, but now I render them for adoption, sparing them an have the lucky task of finding them new unfortunate life of confronting wild animals jobs as treasured family pets. two to three times their size.

Right now, the California Legislature is Named in honor of S.B.1221’s co-authors considering Senate Bill 1221, introduced by and Gov. Jerry Brown, the puppies now by state Sen. Ted Lieu have bright futures as Jennifer Fearing (D-Torrance) and copampered pets and as While this practice the California senior authored by Senate canine founders of state director of the Pesident Pro Tem their own paw-litical is unquestionably Humane Society of Darrell Steinberg organization, the United States, terrorizing to California Hounds for seen here with Polly, (D-Sacramento) to proa Plott hound pup hibit “hounding”—an wildlife, it also poses Conservation. inhumane and unsportS.B. 1221 is our significant welfare ing practice where opportunity to restore trophy hunters use packs proper conservation problems for dogs. of radio-collared dogs to practices into wildlife chase down bears and management and bobcats before shooting the terrified animal humanity into our relationship with some of out of a tree. our state’s greatest wildlife treasures. I urge Have a comment?

While this practice is unquestionably teryou to make a call today to your state Express your views rorizing to wildlife, it also poses significant assembly member, and share your support in 350 words on welfare problems for dogs. Dogs can be for S.B. 1221 to end the inhumane practice a local topic of interest. struck by vehicles, can die as a result of of bear and bobcat hounding. Ω Send an e-mail to dehydration or confrontations with wildlife or editorial@ are often abandoned at local animal shelters. newsreview.com.

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Farmville America’s food system is broken from decades of bad policy choices. So it was no big surprise to hear about that star-studded cast of food celebrities—Mario Batali, Rick Bayless, Alice Waters—who last month joined the fight to fix this failed system. The culinary all-stars focused on one all-important thing—the farm bill.

Yes, the farm bill is back (it needs renewing every five years), and it’s as crucial, complicated and expensive as ever. “It really should be called the food bill,” says Michael Pollan, “because it is the rules for the food system we all eat by.”

The foodies suggested a fundamental rejiggering of existing crop- and farm-subsidy dollars that emphasizes feeding the hungry, protecting the environment, and promoting the consumption of healthy, local and organic foods. Currently, as Pollan writes, the bill mostly subsidizes agribusiness and the corporate farming of The conservative foods with “added sugars majority in the House (derived from corn) and added fats (derived mainly from soy), will likely take an as well as dirt-cheap meat and extreme position on the milk (derived from both).”

Well, the celebs got lots of farm bill and, headlines—but little action. especially, its role in Last week, a $1 trillion farm providing a food safety bill made its way out of the Senate, but it doesn’t do much net for poor Americans. to address our nation’s food challenges as outlined by Pollan and company. Though Senate Bill 3240 does extend some fruit and vegetable programs that California won in 2008, the bill does little to make healthy and nutritious foods more affordable. Plus, it doesn’t go after the inequity issue: Between 1995 and 2010, almost 76 percent of farm subsidies went to 10 percent of the nation’s most profitable farmers.

Frighteningly, the bill the Senate passed is better than what Congress has in mind. The ultra-conservative majority in the House is predicted to take an extreme position on the farm bill and, especially, its role in providing a food safety net, as the bulk of S.B. 3240 reauthorizes the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance The Environmental Program, the country’s food-stamp program.

Working Group is a S.B. 3240 contains sweeping multibillion cuts to good place to go for information and SNAP—$4.5 billion over a 10 year period. But suggested actions House Budget Committee Chairman Paul Ryan has regarding the 2012 Farm proposed a massively larger cut—$170 billion—over Bill. Go to www.ewg.org. that same period.

Is he kidding?

Consider the harm that would do to poor American For more information and to have your voice families, especially the women and children (the main heard, check out the beneficiaries of food stamps), especially in this econ- Community Alliance with Family Farmers at omy. Drastic cuts to SNAP would force millions of www.caff.org/ Americans, who now don’t, to literally go to bed programs/policy/ hungry and wake up wanting every morning. farm-bill-2012.

More cuts to SNAP must be resisted outright.

But getting the farm bill passed is urgent, because if no bill is signed by September 30, when the current one expires, the nation reverts to the base “farm bill” law signed in 1949. House Agriculture Committee Chairman Frank Lucas has said would be “like going back to the Stone Ages.”

Please join those mounting a full-court press on the House to: 1. pass a decent farm bill, and 2. get it to President Barack Obama’s desk before September’s end. Ω |

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N UUN

WOULD L I F EB E

BETTER

IF WE

Q U I TOUR

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D E G G U L

P

BY AARON LAKE SMITH editor and publisher of the fanzine Big Hands

I’ve been having a hard time reading books and finishing movies.

I click through websites, vacantly aware that things are going on in the world, accustomed to the placid, oceanic motion of clicking, scanning and window resizing. I browse Wikipedia entries, looking through section headers to get an idea of something I know nothing about. I’ve gotten so caught up in the romance of the news cycle, in the ability to have infinite access to infinite informa-

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AD

BY S A LV S O T O H P

S M A R TP H O N ES A N D DUMPED SOCIAL MEDIA?

OA OR OCH

tion, that the cache of my mind dumps out, leaving me emptyheaded and forgetful.

Infinite surface knowledge equals infinite anxiety—it circulates above us groundless and impossible to synthesize.

We’ve been provided the tools to do great things, yet we rarely use them in the right ways. Given this wonderful virtual tool set that we were told would eventually save the world, what do we do?

Look at cartoons and YouTube videos, create virtual pets, and set memes loose on the world.

Where people once wrote and collected letters, in the near future, when we die, someone will have to print and collate our dissolute online footprints: social-networking profiles, emails, saved chats,

message-board posts, online journals, the detritus of mediocre, embarrassing lives.

Like going back to the land as a protest against industrial civilization, going against the tide of social networking is already an archaic form of dissent that means giving up your outlet for subversion. But even sadder than the lonely Luddites are the true believers who feel like they’re on the cusp of something when they laud the most recent techno-innovation. Like Hillary Clinton giving a commencement speech at Barnard College and telling the graduating class, “Get out there, girls! Organize and unite through Twitter and Facebook!

Social network your way to the top!”

To live without electronic gadgets now would necessitate breaking the addiction that has insidiously crept up. The thought that days

might pass without getting a text message or a phone call from someone asking “What are you doing now?” or telling you what they’re doing seems unheard of.

They knew it would be almost impossible to breach the silence of distance. They were more careful and more passionate. In our bright era of constant communication, goodbye means “I’ll see you on Facebook in a couple of hours.”

The dreamtime past of writing a letter, of stopping by unannounced without texting first, of not being able to track each other down instantaneously, but instead having to cope with painful, soul-confronting solitude—these activities are now the kitsch realm of grandmothers and punk rockers.

WE LIVE IN AN UNREGULATED COMMUNICATION HEYDAY. THE URGE FOR MINDLESS DRIFT IS IRRESISTIBLE. EYESIGHT HAS BEEN DAMAGED. I’VE FORGOTTEN THE PASSAGES I MEMORIZED FROM SHAKESPEARE. SLIPPERINESS OF THE INTERNET There was a time when an interaction couldn’t be followed up by a text message—when the Puritans left Europe to come to America, goodbye was goodbye, possibly forever.

People didn’t piddle around making offensive verbal blunders and then sending corrective, clarifying emails.

On that horrible kind of Sunday at dusk, cold-insides feeling, you might have found yourself where I was, anxiously Googling into the void for people you hadn’t seen in years, looking at their puckered model expressions online.

They might have used their Internet personas to make

themselves bigger and cooler than they are, like an animal throwing its shadow on a wall.

Or maybe their profiles were small-scale and abashed, filled with lines such as, “I only use it to keep in touch with casual acquaintances,” or “I need it for work.” You scroll through their public comment exchanges: “I wanna hang out with you!”; “Are you in Sacramento, yet? See you in Portland in a couple weeks?”

But what if you couldn’t find them at all? What if they were utterly without an Internet presence, lurking in the shadows like Boo Radley, judgmental of those who wasted their time plugging in—it is this shameful feeling I get when I search to see if people have Facebook profiles and find they do not.

I feel queasy about the slipperiness of the Internet. If you pin it down and demand that it tell you its intentions, it just rolls over and squeals like Mickey Mouse, “I’m nothing but harmless fun!” Having jettisoned myself at times out the escape hatch of social-networking media like a lab monkey who’s had it both ways, I can report that there were no longer

widgets and tweets to pace my days, to give that extra endorphin boost you get when you return to the computer and think you might have a new comment or email waiting for you.

HAVING JETTISONED MYSELF OUT THE ESCAPE HATCH OF SOCIAL MEDIA, I CAN REPORT THAT THERE WERE NO LONGER WIDGETS AND TWEETS TO PACE MY DAYS, TO GIVE ME THAT EXTRA ENDORPHIN BOOST. We live in an unregulated communication heyday. The urge for mindless drift is irresistible. Eyesight has been permanently damaged from staring at screens. Libido is decreased. I’ve forgotten the passages I memorized from Shakespeare, my stanza memory having been diminished by epic YouTube-watching binges of talking cats and Japanese game shows.

If I’m writing something and stumbling over what to

say, I am body-checked by the compulsive urge to minimize and check The New York Times’ website or my email or some other panacea to keep my mind dully engaged without having to strain in the heat of concentration. I am warped back up to level one, doomed to skid along the icy two-dimensional surface of the Web, where every opinion is positioned to appear as truth. Some blogs are so heavily trafficked that they have become bigger and more respected than centuries-old newspapers. There is an inverse relationship between convenient modern technology and my own productivity—the thin rope of my concentration snapped by the beep of my inbox announcing a new message.

OUR INTERNET SELVES

I CAN’T QUIT YOU,

TECHNOLOGY

EIGHT ARGUMENTS FOR CONSIDERING A TECH BREAK

BY AMY KLINE

SCIENCE-FICTION ONCE PREDICTED THAT ROBOTS AND MACHINES would take over our lives. Considering our reliance on our gadgets, that might not be too far from the truth.

How many times a day do you check your cellphone? Your Facebook page? Your Twitter feed? How many texts do you send and receive each day? Now tally up the time you spend in front of screens—from your computer to your iPad to your TV—and you’ll see how technology is running—and maybe even ruining—your life.

Some people have joined in on the National Day of Unplugging, which takes place in the early spring. Founded by the Sabbath Manifesto, a creative project designed to slow down lives in an increasingly hectic world, the unplugging is meant to mimic the religious Sabbath, where work ceases so you can become closer to your family, friends and spiritual life. No need to wait for an official break, others are trying “technology fasts”—sporadic breaks at different times from various technologies.

Here are eight reasons why it’s good to take a tech break:

1. TECHNOLOGY CAN CAUSE STRESS

At a punk show promoted entirely on Facebook, the attendees milled around awkwardly, socially maldeveloped from their big, distended Web personalities. Showgoers and

“The purpose of almost all technology is to do things faster, and often better, than we humans can,” writes James A. Calloway, co-editor of Winning Alternatives to the Billable Hour: Strategies That Work. Although the promise of technology used to be that it would lighten our load, it often increases it—by giving us more time, we now have more time to work. “We can, and therefore do, run at a faster pace. And if you let technology set your pace, it will be make you run faster and faster.”

2. TECHNOLOGY CAN RUIN YOUR HEALTH “UNPLUGGED” continued on page 22

Researchers who surveyed more than 4,000 American high-school students last year found that excessive texting and social networking—sending 120 text messages or more during a school day, and using online social-networking sites for at least three hours per school day—was linked to a range of poor health behaviors, including smoking, drinking, use of drugs, and sexual activity. These were the results of a study led by Dr. Scott Frank, director of the master of public-health program at Case Western Reserve University School of Medicine. Frank presented the findings at the 138th Annual Meeting & Exposition of the American Public Health Association in November 2010. In addition to the aforementioned, excessive texting and social networking were also linked to perceived stress, having suicidal thoughts, obesity, disordered eating behavior, missing school due to illness, having lower self-rated health, feeling unsafe at school, not getting enough sleep and parental permissiveness.

3. TECHNOLOGY CAN REWIRE OUR BRAINS “We know that the brain’s neural circuitry responds every moment to whatever sensory input it gets and that the many hours people spend in front of the computer—doing various activities, including trolling the Internet, exchanging email, video conferencing, IM’ing and e-shopping—expose their brains to constant digital stimulation,” write Dr. Gary Small and his wife, Gigi Vorgan, in iBrain: Surviving the Technological Alteration of the Modern Mind. Small and his UCLA research team wanted to look at how much impact this extended screen time was having on the brain’s neural circuitry, how quickly it could build up new pathways, and whether or not they could observe and measure these changes as they occurred. Using functional MRIs, they compared computer users to “naive” (noncomputer) users and found that after five hours on the Internet, the naive subjects had already rewired their brains. “This particular area of the brain controls our ability to make decision and integrate complex information. It also controls our mental process of integrating sensations and thoughts, as well as working memory, which is our ability to keep information in mind for a very short time—just long enough to manage an Internet-search task or dial a phone number after getting it from directory assistance.”

4. TECHNOLOGY CAN RUIN OUR ATTENTION SPANS

Rewire your brain and leave the smartphone at home. Too much technology, experts say, causes stress by setting a more intense, faster pace.

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“UNPLUGGED”

THE SEDUCTION OF THE INSTANTANEOUS IS KILLING MANY POTENTIALLY BRILLIANT CREATORS. PUTTERING AROUND IN A PURGATORIAL STATE OF MULTITASKING IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO MAKING THINGS.

continued from page 21

without access, now such a vital component of our work and communication with the outside world.

We have to work, we have to keep abreast, and, most importantly, we always have to stay in touch.

We indulge in endless hours constructing our Internet selves, frittering away time constructing tiny replicas of our personalities in the virtual world. Looking for some form of resistance, I turn to our modern oracle, Google, searching for “criticism of Wikipedia.” The top result listed is Wikipedia’s own page on criticism of itself.

I would hazard to say that rabid Internet use is killing many potentially brilliant creators who have given in to the seduction of the instantaneous. Puttering about in a purgatorial state of multitasking is not conducive to making things.

One solution: Sabotage the Internet from the inside out—like a proton torpedo from an X-wing into the thermal-exhaust port of the Death Star in order to destroy it completely.

There are no data analysts to tell you how you’re doing at life. No pie graph, no productivity charts, no online survey can give you a

Techno-burnout? According to experts, technology, despite its numerous benefits, can be damaging to attention spans, relationships and self-esteem.

promoters alike came off as distinctly unsure of themselves, hesitating to approach those they’d known only as avatars on message boards or as pretty faces easily voyeured on social-networking sites. The promoters sat in a corner drawing up a real-life flyer for the event that was already half-over— engaged in constructing an actual physical artifact to provide posthumous proof, in case hard drives or Facebook’s central server are accidentally wiped clean.

In 2012, if an event takes place and isn’t documented on the Internet—did it actually happen?

Most events are only half-experienced by the parties present, their energy going into getting digital proof: camera-phone photos or

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silent observation to be shared as anecdote later on a blog.

Gustave Flaubert wrote in a letter to a friend way back in 1846, “The pleasure one can have strolling through a virgin forest or hunting tigers is marred by the idea that one must later make an artful description to please as many bourgeois people as possible.”

Today, all life must be quickly transcribed into easily disseminated bulletins on how we’re doing. We are thoroughly addicted to communication—thoroughly tied to the beck and call of others, chained to our love of “being in touch.”

The problem of knowing things only from their shadows: You can interpret a network of symbols without having any real

knowledge of the subject. Deep analysis is pushed away by the flurry of new and breaking transmissions. The idea of thinking about just one thing over the course of several days or a week is unheard of. We change gears every 24 hours, reacting to whatever buttons they are pushing in the central-control rooms.

There’s a sense of impending doom when the wireless router goes down. My housemates pace the house anxiously, complaining that they can’t check their email, plugging and unplugging the router and the network adapter, disconnecting the whole thing and throwing it on the floor before setting it up again. They eventually give up, despondent and marooned

true reading. At the end of your life, there won’t be a summation flowchart that marks the high and low points. Procrastination assumes many forms: Glutting your brain with information and trying to meet the right people dwell under the banners of “getting smarter” and “networking.”

I am sidetracked by the most menial things, like blogs where people post daily pictures of how their injuries are healing—while people simultaneously instant message me, and I fruitlessly try to locate an obscure quote in the landfills of advertising-heavy mirror sites. It would seem that that the only exit is a broken ethernet port and a small white room with a lock.

Everything is still possible. We can be the yeast of new worlds and create new situations. We’re all caught in the riptide of time together, getting one year older at the same pace. The seconds turn into years, vanquished with long hours on the job. And the worst part: Stakes are high. Time passes with no judgment on our decisions.

It won’t tell you whether you did the right thing or blew it. It does not judge whether you gave up or stayed true to your vision and dreams—only you can tell that. The years chunk on, and beginning to germinate inside is the feeling you get in the moments at the zenith of a roller coaster: We’ve crested the top and are about to begin the plunge downward. Ω A version of this story was published in Biopsy, an intermittently published cultural-protest magazine you can find at www.biopsymag.com.

“Island syndrome” occurs when people experience a technology-induced sense of isolation—even when surrounded family or friends.

means continually staying busy—“keeping tabs on everything while never truly focusing on anything.” This differs from continued from page 21 multitasking, where there’s a purpose for each task and we’re trying to improve our productivity and efficiency. “When paying continuous partial attention, people may place their brains in a heightened state of stress.

They no longer have time to reflect, contemplate or make thoughtful decisions. Instead they exist in a sense of constant crisis—on alert for a new contact or bit of exciting news or information at any moment.”

According to Small and Vorgan, once people get used to this state, they tend to thrive on perpetual connectivity. Eventually, they say, the endless hours of unrelenting digital connectivity can create a “unique type of brain strain.” Many people who have been working on the Internet for several hours without a break report making frequent errors in their work. Upon signing off, they notice feeling spaced out, fatigued, irritable and distracted, as if they are in a “digital fog.” They call this a techno-brain burnout.

“I CAN’T QUIT YOU”

5. TECHNOLOGY CAN HINDER CREATIVITY In the book, Defeating the 8 Demons of Distraction: Proven Strategies to Increase Productivity and Decrease Stress, Geraldine Markel gives an example of how technology ruins the creative process—and the work process: “Steve is extremely bright and creative.

He enjoys surfing the Internet and discovering new ideas. As a word or concept pops into his mind his fingers tap him into uncharted territory. Four or more hours can fly by.

Unfortunately, these Internet explorations distract him from completing his projects. On the one hand, Steve is an ‘idea generator’ at a public-relations firm, so he needs to keep abreast of new developments. On the other hand, he still has to complete his projects.”

Do you really need a scientific study to prove this? Just check out the look on your child/spouse/friend or colleague’s face when you sneak a look at your BlackBerry while they’re talking to you. “Research and various studies have demonstrated the importance of attachment to other people on how well we cope with life, feel safe in relationships, and manage stress,” writes John O’Neill, director of addiction services at the Menninger Clinic in Houston, in “Time to Disconnect? Technology overload damages relationships, but is it an addiction?” (Highlights of the American Bar Association, Winter 2008).

“Furthermore, we know that children who suffer from attachment disorders struggle with trust, superficial relationships, poor peer relationships, lying, fear of intimacy, shame, and feeling alone.” O’Neill gives an example of a father and son at a baseball game, where the father is too busy talking on his cellphone to notice his son’s attempt at catching a home run. “What could have been a significant bonding moment was derailed by the father’s inability to disconnect from technology,” he writes. “Observing people on a daily basis, it is easy to recognize how lost we have become in our own worlds.

7. TECHNOLOGY CAN BE ISOLATING “Mobile phones, computers, and other such tools enable us to communicate so easily, they trick us into believing that we will be able to satisfy our communication needs when, at best, they are able to give us only a small portion of what we actually need,” writes Harley Hahn, who coined the phrase “island syndrome” to define our state of isolation and dependence on technology today. Technology continually seduces us by promising to give us what we want, and we don’t understand what is happening. “This is why so many people keep phoning, text messaging, instant messaging, and emailing one another without ever feeling satisfied enough to stop: It is a combination of seductive technology, bad communication habits, and ignorance of our real needs. We are betrayed continually by a confluence of forces that promise to fulfill us without actually doing so.”

8. TECHNOLOGY CAN BE AN ADDICTION According to a phone survey conducted by Stanford University back in 2006—before the crazed Twitterverse—more than one in eight adults in the United States showed signs of being addicted to the Internet. “Addicts” showed signs of compulsive Internet use, habitually checking email, websites and chat rooms. More than 8 percent of the 2,513 respondents said they hid their use from partners. “We often focus on how wonderful the Internet is—how simple and efficient it can make things,” elaborated lead author Elias Aboujaoude, clinical assistant professor in psychiatry and behavioral sciences and director of Stanford University Medical Center’s Impulse Control Disorders Clinic. “But we need to consider the fact that it creates real problems for a subset of people.”

IN THE END, TECHNOLOGY IS NOT EVIL—like anything else, it must be used in moderation.

As O’Neill writes, “Technology has enormous benefits that assist us on a daily basis.

Cellphones help us keep up with family, friends, and business and assist us in an emergency. The Internet is a wonderful resource filled with knowledge and endless learning opportunities. Evidence shows that video games can improve various motor skills and problem-solving skills. The hope is that we can apply technology with a healthy balance and set limits.” Ω

BEFORE

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FEATURE

STORY

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6/22/12 8:22 AM

ARTS&CULTURE POPSMART Stick a fork in it Sometimes being a columnist seems like the best

job in the world—the chance to get paid to share your opinion with the rest of world—or, at least your publication’s readership.

And, depending on the column’s focus, you can write

by RACHEL LEIBROCK about almost anything that strikes your interest.

There’s a downside, of course: Not everyone agrees with you. Most readers, in fact, will likely think you’re full of various, foul bodily excrements. Those are the ones more likely to call, email or, if they’re feeling particularly emotional, use the postal service to send stuffed animals and creepy ransom-notestyled missives. (Sadly, pleasant people who agree with you are rarely motivated to send similar gifts.)

During my time at this paper, countless readers have questioned my worth as a columnist—often using the same argument to bolster their point: “It’s just your opinion!”

So true.

That’s exactly what it is, actually: My opinion. One I’ve been tasked to share as part of my job, mind you, but nonetheless still just my opinion.

And, I’ll be the first to admit, opinions are not fact, opinions are not the gospel truth, opinions are not infallible and opinions certainly are not impervious to change.

A friend cornered me the other day, for example, demanding we discuss the HBO show Girls. Initially, after reading my column on the subject (“Shallow girls” SN&R Popsmart, April 26), she’d agreed with my assessment of its first two episodes—that its depiction of white, entitled 20-something women in New York City was unappealing and troublesome.

Now, after continued viewing, however, she wanted to tell me I was wrong.

“You need to watch the rest of the series,” she said. “It’s really good.”

Actually, I’d already reached the same conclusion.

“I know!” I said. “I just watched five episodes in a row—it still bugs me, but as the characters developed, it also got a lot more interesting.”

Our conversation caught the interest of another friend.

“So what do you do when you change Opinions are not your mind about something you wrote about?” she asked. “Write a follow-up?” fact, opinions are I shrugged.

“No, usually it’s just out there,” I said. “You not the gospel don’t always get the chance to rethink or truth and opinions revise.”

That’s also the good and bad thing about are not impervious writing a column. As thoughtful as you strive to change. to be on a particular topic, ultimately you’re beholden to both the deadline and the need to move on. Opinions on frothy little pop-culture topics—TV, pop music, sports, fashion, et al—don’t typically warrant a second treatment. Girls is just a TV show, after all, why return to the subject?

Still, our conversation got me thinking—about all the things I’ve written about since this column made its debut nearly three years ago. Now, as it comes to an end (and I focus attention elsewhere in the paper—see this week’s Editor’s Note, page 3), I’ve got one last chance to revisit a few opinions previously thrown down in an impassioned state of conviction.

Lady Gaga: Ridiculous costumes? Yes. But she can sing, play instruments and writes her own songs. Twilight: I’m so sorry; it’s worse than I ever thought. Way worse.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Talented, but the Marie Antoinette of culturally clueless actresses—dear universe, so sorry I ever defended her.

On the flipside, some beliefs remain resolute. Think Pink breast-cancer marketing research: Sorry, haters—still hate it. Obama: Still voting for him. Slutty Halloween costume: Girls, get a clue already. Kittens: They build the Internet and make life bearable (see also: puppies).

One inarguable fact: It’s been fun, but more than 125 columns later, it’s time to move on yet again—this time for good. Ω

Smarted by Popsmart? Got something to say? Let Rachel know: popsmart@newsreview.com.

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In his debut novel The Infinite Tides, Christian Kiefer explores the final frontiers of space, love and dudes In the beginning, Christian Kiefer gave his novel-in-progress an informal working title, Dudes With Great Longing. It was something of a joke—an explicit nod to the very by Rachel Leibrock guyness of the thing he was writing: male protagonist working in what’s considered, traditionally at least, a rachell@ super-dude profession, and a story with mascunewsreview.com line themes that centered on core ideas photo by about modern man’s role in society.

Jessica Eger Ultimately, Kiefer called his book The Infinite Tides—a title that suggests an endless, repeated movement and one equally appropriate for the story within.

“This is really a book about a guy who stops and is stuck in one place and he spins in circles,” Kiefer explains one recent weekday morning. It’s still early, and the Newcastle resident’s third-floor office on the American River College campus is quiet and Find out more serene—hardly reflective of the literary wave and purchase starting to swell around the English professor’s The Infinite Tides debut novel. at www.blooms Kiefer, a former SN&R contributor, is also a buryusa.com. musician known for collaborations with the For more information, visit likes of Califone, Smog and memhttp://xiankiefer. bers of Wilco and Low. Not wordpress.com. surprisingly, the writer’s music often takes a literary bent, perhaps best exemplified by the three-CD set, Of Great and Mortal Men: 43 Songs for 43 Presidencies, a 2008 collaboration with J. Matthew Gerken and Jefferson Pitcher.

Christian Kiefer’s debut novel The Infinite Tides inhibits a very male universe.

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Across the universe The Infinite Tides narrows its focus to just two men, chronicling the story of Keith Corcoran, a NASA astronaut and genius mathematician whose complex relationship with physics and numbers—he sees the latter as colors, a condition known as color synesthesia—makes navigating everyday relationships difficult at best. While in orbit, thousands of miles above Earth during a mission on the International Space Station, Keith learns of his teenage daughter’s death, and upon his eventual return to gravity, the astronaut faces a world completely unlike the one he left behind.

His wife has left him, moving out most of their belongings from the home they shared on a quiet suburban cul-de-sac and, plagued by migraines—not to mention the grief he can’t seem to even admit experiencing—Keith risks not only losing his job, but also any sort of tangible human connection that will tether him to earthly things.

The closest thing Keith has to meaningful human interaction, in fact, arrives in the form of Peter, a troubled Ukrainian immigrant with an impressive engineering résumé that stateside gets him nothing more than an entry-level Target job and a crush on his neighborhood Starbucks barista.

It was the corporate chain, of all things caffeinated, that sparked Kiefer’s initial inspiration for the book when, in 2008, he spent endless hours at a neighborhood Starbucks grading papers. As the nation slipped into an ever-deepening recession, Kiefer says he watched as unemployed men lingered in the coffee shop for hours, nursing a mocha and the morning paper.

Anything to fill up the hours, Kiefer figured, after they’d told their wives they were looking for a job.

“I’d watch them go through the paper— sports page, funnies, business and then, finally, the front page,” Kiefer says.

At the time, he lived on a cul-de-sac in Rocklin—much like the street in his book—and noticed that the houses around him were going into foreclosure at an alarming rate.

And so Kiefer started sketching out ideas for the seedling of a premise.

“I had a bunch of characters outlined in various economic situations, but at some level, they were all at the same psychological vector,” Kiefer says. “It was meant to be sort of this comment on America and American men and this job-oriented selfidentification we tend to have. When you first meet someone, one of the first things that you say is, ‘What do you do?’ When you don’t have a job, what do you say—‘I sit at Starbucks all day’?”

Initially, Kiefer found his protagonist difficult to characterize but eventually hit BEFORE

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Purl a pooch

Christian Kiefer gave parts of his book to an astronaut for feedback.

“You can’t go into space, [so] it wasn’t really boots-on-the-ground type of research.”

All that research, he says, translated into trying to understand some basic concepts about humanity and how we exist in any given place—be it space, a cafe or a near-empty suburban house.

In short, Kiefer says, it came down to something of an existentialist question: “I wanted to see where my ideas sat with other ideas about space … and why we construct spaces like we do,” he says.

“I wanted to see how that contrasted with Keith’s experiences in space and how … he doesn’t understand that the universe is just so beautiful.”

The masculine mystique While there are certainly women in The Infinite Tides, they’re largely off the page, visible to the reader mostly in flashback, phone conversations or hurried encounters.

The real story belongs to Keith, of course, and by default, also Peter.

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Freedom!

See COOLHUNTING

upon a solution during a conversation with his father about jobs and the economy.

“Everyone hates their job,” the elder Kiefer mused one day. “That’s why they pay you; otherwise you’d do it for free.”

Then he reconsidered.

“Well, maybe not everybody. Maybe not presidents and astronauts. They probably like their jobs.”

And so, 41 drafts later, Keith Corcoran the astronaut finally came to fruition, realized in a grieving, angry and confused man. As it turns out, for a man who makes his living as a space explorer, Keith’s gravity-bound existence occupies a very tiny universe—one that orbits a narrow, lonely path between home, Starbucks and Home Depot.

For research, Kiefer spent months interviewing his peers in the math and physics departments at ARC. He gave parts of his book to astronaut, Ronald Garan, for feedback on language and description and spent hours digging into astronaut autobiographies and NASA flight logs—“You can’t go into space, [so] it wasn’t really boots-on-the-ground type of research.” He also pored over books on topics ranging from death and dying, French philosophy and urban planning.

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See ASK JOEY

The Zen of Sacto rap See MUSIC

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Music Circus goes AARP

(It’s a world that Kiefer is, perhaps, most familiar with after all. Married, he has five sons—and a sixth one due later this year.)

Yet, while this was, inarguably a tale of lonely, dissatisfied modern men—dudes with great longing, if you will, Kiefer ventured for balance, finding what he considers the book’s true voice in Peter’s wife Luda, who gently chides her husband and his friend for wallowing in what she considers incessant and unnecessary self-pity.

“Luda is the voice of the reader, saying, ‘Get the fuck over it already,’” Kiefer says.

Still, Anthony Swofford, an erstwhile Sacramento writer (Jarhead) and a friend of Kiefer’s, doesn’t think the book relies too heavily on XY chromosomes.

“I don’t know that to call it ‘male-dominated’ is fair,” Swofford says. “Sure, the main character is male, and he has made a mess of his relationships with females, but that is simply a point-of-view choice.”

What’s more important, he adds, is that novel makes for a compelling read.

“It’s special because of its earnestness in language and character—the book is a blessedly irony- and snark-free zone,” he says.

National critics are also praising the book.

Publisher’s Weekly, in a starred review, called the book “an astute, impressive, and ambitious debut,” and Kirkus Review described its narrative as “masterfully accomplished.”

In the end, Kiefer says, he wanted The Infinite Tides to relate a story that transcended place, time and even the person telling it.

“Keith is a Type A American Man—I could have told the same story in many ways, even if he was a stockbroker or Donald Trump or the head of Facebook,” Kiefer says. “I just had to knock him off the rails.” Ω

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When several cars turn the wrong way at H and 14th streets on a Saturday night, you know it’s Music Circus time again. For proof positive that the annual beloved celebration of American musical theater is going the same way as the Sacramento Jazz Jubilee, watch the audience arrive and depart. Here, an anxiety about parking, one-way streets and panhandlers reflects a pure suburbia-mixed-with-AARP membership mentality.

I’m concerned about the future of musical theater—despite the fact that the opening night was a sellout. What about five years from now? I counted fewer than a dozen under-30 types at the opening night for Grease—which, perhaps not incidentally, enjoyed its greatest popularity the same year that I graduated from high school. And yes, I am old enough to be a grandmother.

One of my fellow critics pointed out in a recent conversation that, despite Sacramento’s apparent love of musicals, this love seems to be limited to a relatively narrow style: shows that are completely divorced from the pulse of the culture at large and instead focus romantically on bygone days. That explains why this year’s Music Circus blockbuster is Disney’s The Little Mermaid. It also exemplifies how bringing in TV stars of yore to shore up ticket sales (Shirley Jones and Adrienne Barbeau) won’t do much to bring in a younger audience.

“I had a huge crush on Adrienne Barbeau when she played Maude’s daughter,” I told a colleague.

“Who’s Maude?” he asked.

And that’s precisely the problem. If I’m the target audience for Music Circus, forget The Unsinkable Molly Brown; it’s sunk. That’s because my generation, for extremely age-appropriate reasons, is growing more concerned with aches, pains, bathroom habits and retirement. We’ll take our grandkids to see The Little Mermaid and The Nutcracker, but if we’re the backbone of your audience, prepare for smaller venues.

The Sacramento Ballet figured this out pretty quickly, and has been working like mad to build a new audience, staging events such as a “Thriller” flash mob and a Beer & Ballet series.

But frankly, the only young people I see that are crazy about musicals are the ones who work in them.

And we’re not seeing locally—with a few exceptions— the really interesting and unusual shows. Granted, it’ll be a while before California Musical Theatre brings us The Book of Mormon, but definitely don’t expect to see it at Music Circus, where Sweeney Todd is considered “edgy.”

This is the fifth time they’ve done Grease; the 10th time for The Music Man; and the whopping 12th time for Fiddler on the Roof. Meanwhile, Crazy for You is a baby with only three appearances.

Mind you, I really like all these shows—especially Fiddler, with its incredible songs, story by Isaac Bashevis Singer, and underlying political and historical commentary. And Music Circus always delivers really good shows—but it can’t expect to build an audience this way. For that, you’ll need either more gritty relevance or more spectacle—or both—as that seems to be what draws young people.

—Kel Munger

kelm@newsreview.com

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NIGHT&DAY 05THURS DON’T MISS! AN EVENING WITH DR. EUGENE

B. REDMOND: In celebration of the release of the 600plus-page book, Drumvoices Revue, Master Barber & Beauty Shop will present, honor and welcome East St. Louis Poet Laureate, Playwright, Southern Illinois University Edwardsville Emeritus Professor of English, and former Poetin-Residence in Ethnic Studies at California State University Sacramento, Dr. Eugene B. Redmond, back to Sacramento. Th, 7/5, 6pm. $5-$7. Master Barber & Beauty Shop, 3504 Stockton Blvd.; (916) 457-8708.

List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations.

Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your website.

Go to www.newsreview. com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

Film SCREENING: CASABLANCA: Bring a lawn chair or blanket to watch this romantic classic, starring Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman, under the stars on the big screen. Th, 7/5, 7:30pm. $5-$8.

Crocker Art Museum, 216 O St.; (916) 808-7000; www.crocker artmuseum.org.

06FRI

Kids’ Stuff DREAM CATCHERS WITH ARTWORKS: It is believed by placing a dream catcher above a bed, bad dreams will get tangled in the web of the dream catcher and only good dreams will be remembered. Create a dream catcher from twigs and other materials.

Th, 7/5, 4pm. Free. North Highlands-Antelope Library, 4235 Antelope Rd. in Antelope; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

DON’T MISS! SHAKESPEARE ON THE VINE:

Volunteer SHORT-TERM HOST FAMILIES WANTED: Education First’s Educational Homestay Program, a nonprofit organization, is bringing 100 students from Italy, Russia, Denmark and Spain to study English and experience the American way of life July. You are invited to be involved and provide homes for these students. Th, 7/5. Free. Woodcreek High School Theater, Woodcreek High School in Roseville; (732) 575-6611; www.efhomestay.org.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream will be perfomed on the Carvalho Family Winery’s outdoor Crush Pad. Grab a glass of wine and join. Food catered by Jackson Catering will be available for purchase. F, 7/6, 6pm. Call for pricing. Old Sugar Mill, 35265 Willow Ave. in Clarksburg; (916) 514-2270; www.carvalhofamilywinery. com/ourEvents_winery.shtml.

Special Events FUNNY FRIDAY COMEDY SHOW: Hosted by comedian Daunte Burks, the Funny Friday Comedy Show combines live music, stand-up comedy and an after party at the same location. Headlining Funny Friday will be Shaun Jones, with openers Erik Clark, Jay Rich and Bryan Yang. F, 7/6, 9-11pm. $30-$40. Doubletree Hotel, 2001 Point West Way; (916) 705-4684; www.burksizm.com.

monthly stated meeting. All worthy brothers are welcome.

This lodge has proudly served the Rancho Cordova community for 50 years. First F of

every month, 7:45-9pm through 12/7. Free. Masonic Center-

Folsom, 1000 Duchow Way in Folsom; (916) 984-0668; http://americanriverlodge.org.

07SAT

DON’T MISS! INTERNATIONAL CELEBRATION:

Fairytale Town presents a day of international dance and fun on the outdoor Mother Goose Stage. Enjoy nonstop performances from regional groups performing dances from around the world. Performances feature African drumming and dancing, Scottish highland dancing, ballet folklorico, Japanese minyo dancing and more. Sa, 7/7, 11am-3pm. Free with park admission.

Fairytale Town, 3901 Land Park Dr.; (916) 808-7462; www.fairytaletown.org.

Special Events

Meetings & Groups AMERICAN RIVER LODGE STATED MEETING: American River Masonic Lodge is having its

I AM A QUEEN: WOMEN’S CONFERENCE: This conference will address topics such as accepting the challenges of life,

Tell Your Ancestors’ Stories.

Genealogy expert Karen Burney will discuss how to extract family history information from birth, census, marriage, death and other records. Sa, 7/7, 1pm. Free.

Sacramento Public Library (Central Branch), 828 I St.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

being a virtuous woman and finding balance. Guest speakers include Sonya Jones, Ilesha Graham and Aurellia Anderson.

Sa, 7/7, 12:30-3pm. $7-$10. Guild Theatre, 2828 35th St.; (916) 208-7638; http://queen2.eventbrite.com.

QUILT SHOW: The Mother Lode Quilt Guild will be holding its semiannual Golden Threadsù Quilt Show.

This two-day event includes displays of local quilters’ talent and artistry, as well as a store, silent auction, raffle and vendors.

Quilters and non-quilters alike will enjoy the collection of traditional and modern quilts created by guild members. Sa, 7/7, 10am-5pm. $6. Sutter Creek Auditorium, 18 Main St. in Sutter Creek; (209) 296-7059; www.mlqgsuttercreek.org.

Poetry KING OF THE MIC: Every year, poets from all over the world come to Sacramento and lay it all out on the stage for one purpose: winning the King/Queen of the Mic Competition. One poet will walk away with the coveted Angela Boyce Trophy; Boyce is responsible for the emergence of slam poetry in Sacramento. Sa, 7/7, 8-11pm. $10. The Artisan Building, 1901 Del Paso Blvd.; (916) 730-5405; http://mahoganypoetry. blogspot.com.

WRITINGS ON THE WALL: The Brickhouse Gallery & Arts Complex hosts the Writings on the Wall art exhibition and performance show featuring poetry, jazz and wine. At this event, there will be 25 poets and writers and 32 pieces of art on display. Sa, 7/7, 8pm. $5.

Brickhouse Gallery & Arts Complex, 2837 36th St.; (916) 457-2502; www.brickhouseoakpark.com.

Volunteer HABITAT RESTORATION WORKDAY: The Cosumnes River Preserve invites you to a public restoration workday. The workdays are a great way to connect with the local environment and are ideal for individuals seeking service learning hours. Wear: closed-toe shoes, long-sleeve shirts, long pants, hat and work gloves.

Bring: lunch, snacks and a reusable water bottle. Sa, 7/7, 9am-3:30pm. Free. Cosumnes

Classes BASIC GENEALOGY RESEARCH TIPS: The Sacramento Public Library will host a basic genealogy class called Using Records to

TOP 10 ALTERNATIVE AT TRAC AT THE CALIFORNIA STAT TIONS E FAIR

SECRETS

Wait, there’s more!

Looking for something to do? Use SN&R’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online.

Art galleries and musems, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunies—all this and more on our free events calendar at www.newsreview.com.

Start planning your week!

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JONATHAN MENDICK

River Preserve Barn, 6500 Desmond Rd. in Galt; (916) 870-4317; www.cosumnes.org.

Concerts ZORELLI: Zorelli is a Caribbean, Latin jazz and reggae band that has recently released a selftitled album. Core members have played with Jerry Garcia, John Tchicai, David Grisman and Joe Craven. They have been part of numerous bands including Punch the Clown, the Free Association, the Archetypes, Akimbo and the Nibblers. Sa, 7/7, 8pm. $10. N Street Music, 716 N St. in Davis; (530) 681-9890; www.nstreet cohousing.org/n-street-music.

08SUN

Art Galleries GALLERY 1855: Whimsical Work of Marguerite Schaffron, enjoy mixed-media work that’s breezy, playful and perfect for the heat of summer. Local artist Marguerite paints, photographs, cuts, pastes and generally has a great time creating these whimsical pieces.

Su, 7/8, 1-4pm. Free. 820 Pole Line Rd. in Davis; (530) 756-7807; www.daviscemetery.org.

Kids’ Stuff CRITTER CLOSE UP: Meet a couple of small animal residents at the Effie Yeaw Nature Center up close and learn what habitat and food they need to survive. Su, 7/8, 1:30pm. Free. Effie Yeaw Nature Center, 2850 San Lorenzo Way in Carmichael; (916) 489-4918; www.effieyeaw.org.

TIBETAN DREAM BANNER WITH ARTWORKS: Tibetan dream flags

Special Events SHAKESPEARE ON THE VINE: A Midsummer Night’s Dream will be perfomed on the Carvalho Family Winery’s outdoor Crush Pad. Grab a glass of wine and join. Food catered by Jackson Catering will be available for purchase. Su, 7/8, 2pm. Call for pricing. Old Sugar Mill, 35265 Willow Ave. in Clarksburg; (916) 514-2270; www.carvalho familywinery.com/ourEvents_ winery.shtml.

are traditionally used to promote peace, compassion and wisdom. It is believed the flags carry messages and wishes blown by the wind to spread goodwill and dreams. Create a dream banner using cotton banners decorated with watercolors. Su, 7/8, 3pm. Free.

Sacramento Public Library (Central Branch), 828 I St.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

THIS SUMMER, as the California State Fair celebrates its 158th year, you might be wondering what—if anything—there is that you haven’t already seen or done. Kicking off Thursday, July 12, the fair will, of course, feature tried-and-true entertainment such as midway rides, evening concerts and that tired old hypnotist bit. But what about the new and unusual attractions? SN&R saved you the trouble of looking through an overwhelmingly large calendar to bring you the following guide, featuring 10 of this year’s best off-thebeaten path, can’t-miss events and attractions.

ENTERTAINMENT Sure, you could argue that Tony Hawk is a sellout. But you can’t deny his uncanny business skills, innovative skating style or his reach as a skateboarding teacher (via a popular series of instructional videos). He’ll bring a half-pipe skating event—featuring Birdhouse Skateboards teammates Willy Santos, Lincoln Ueda and Neal Hendrix—on Monday, July 16, from 7 to 7:45 p.m., at the Miller Lite Grandstand.

2. BRING ON THE DANCING HORSES While this dancing equine attraction—and celebrated art form—may not exactly be new, it’s certainly a bit unusual. And, hopefully, not as cruel to participating horses as the infamous “diving horse” routine once popular in Atlantic City, N.J. Every night at 8 p.m., there will be a horse show featuring the Magical World of Dancing Horses, the Nu Balance Vaulters and the Sacramento ounty Sheriff’s Posse at the Cavalcade of Horses.

Although my dog loves the occasional romp in the rain, he hates (with a passion) sprinklers, hoses and all bodies of water. The Splash Dogs, on the other hand, is a dog troupe featuring canines that jump off docks to catch their favorite dog toys. The attraction can be seen Thursday and Friday, July 12 and 13, at noon, 2, 4 and FRONTLINES

High Octane Street Fair on Vernon Street in downtown Roseville features live bands playing every Tuesday, food, a beer and margarita garden, a farmers market, and fun zone for kids. A classic-car show features more than 120 classic cars from before 1973. Tu, 59pm through 7/31. Free. Vernon St. in Roseville; (916) 786-2023; www.2025events.com/5701/ index.html.

Special Events

TRIVIA NIGHT AT KILT PUB: Join Questionable Trivia at Kilt Pub every Monday for two rounds of general knowledge questions. Prizes include discounts on food and drink. Teams must be between two and six players. Show up around 7:30 p.m. for seating. M, 8pm through 12/31. Free. Kilt Pub, 4235 Arden Way; (916) 487-4979; http://questionabletrivia.com/ where-and-when.

RELATIONSHIP REPAIR SHOP: Facilitated by Laura Hansen, author, international speaker, counselor, and native Sacramentan, come to this event to learn new insights and communication tools each week to help fix what’s not working in your relationship. Tu, 7-9pm through 8/28. $5. Ancient Future Urban Sanctuary, 2331 K St.; (916) 265-0203; www.Laura-Hansen.com.

10TUES

DON’T MISS! RALLY FOR ENVIRONMENTAL JUSTICE: Join supporters

and members of the Avondale Glen Elder Neighborhood Association and Southeast Village Neighborhood Associations as they continue to organize and oppose the proposed Sacramento Natural Gas Storage project in our community.

Tu, 7/10, 5pm. Free. Danny Nunn Park, 6920 Power Inn Rd.; (916) 484-5025.

Classes HOUR STORIES WITH ARTWORKS: This is a workshop featuring writing prompts and guidance on how to create short written pieces that are witty, have bite or evoke an emotion, and that can be written in an hour or less. With a little revision, stories will be ready for publication, to read to family and friends or shared in front

of an audience. Tu, 7/10, 6pm.

Free. Arcade Community Library, 2443 Marconi Ave.; (916) 264-2920; www.saclibrary.org.

danceable sound—a mixture spanning rock, soul, Afropop, balladry, zydeco and country— to Fairytale Town for a live performance on the outdoor Mother Goose Stage. Blankets and chairs are welcome. W, 7/11, 6pm. $10. Fairytale Town, 3901 Land Park Dr.; (916) 808-7462; www.fairytaletown.org.

11WED

DON’T MISS!

ONGOING

KILIMANJARO: A FATHER/SON JOURNEY: Join author Tim

Ward for a fascinating talk and discussion about his new book on climbing Mount Kilimanjaro—Africa’s highest peak—with his 20-year-old son, Josh. W, 7/11, 7-8:30pm.

Free. REI Sacramento, 1790 Expo Pkwy.; (916) 924-8900; www.rei.com/event/39940/ session/50586/08162012.

Art Galleries CENTER FOR CONTEMPORARY ART, SACRAMENTO: What Does It Mean to Excel?, An exhibition of works

by Houston-based artist Patrick Phipps, curated by Jenny Stark, Associate Professor of Communication Studies, Film Coordinator at California State University, Sacramento. Through 8/12. Opens 7/14. Free. 1519 19th St., (916) 498-9811, www.ccasac.org.

Comedy HAROLD NIGHT: The Comedy Spot presents Harold Night, a form of improvised longform comedy popular in Chicago, New York and L.A. See two teams every week in Sacramento’s first Harold show. W, 9pm. $5.

Sacramento Comedy Spot, 1050 20th St. Ste. 130; (916) 402-4757; www.saccomedyspot.com.

LITTLE RELICS BOUTIQUE & GALLERIA: CathARTic, utilizing various mediums such as repurposed vintage windows, doors and wood, Christine Conklin gives her dark and sometimes humorous subjects vibrant souls and nuances of life. M-Sa, 11am-6pm through 8/3.

Opens 7/10. Free. 908 21st St.; (916) 716-2319.

Concerts MUMBO GUMBO LIVE IN CONCERT: Sacramento favorite Mumbo Gumbo brings its signature

6 p.m.; Saturday, July 14, at 11 a.m., 1, 3 and 5 p.m.; and Sunday, July 15, at 11 a.m., 1 and 3 p.m. at the Miller Lite Grandstand.

4. BELT IT OUT—FOR THE WIN We’ve all heard a drunken person’s caterwauling singing voice at some point or another. But at this State Karaoke Championship, the contestants will actually be (hopefully) good. California’s best karaoke singers will compete for a $500 first-place prize. It happens on Saturday, July 14, from 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. at the Promenade Stage. The finals begin at 7 p.m.

To raise awareness for congenital heart disease, Christina Lochmiller will attempt to beat a Guinness World Record for the “longest marathon riding a fairground attraction.” Clockwatchers note: Lochmiller will attempt to ride the Eagle 16 Ferris wheel for 26 hours and 30 minutes starting Monday, July 23. Ride with her for a $5 donation to the Children’s Miracle Network.

FOOD & DRINK 1. TAKE THESE WINGS …

In the wing-eating contest—a Major League Eating-sanctioned event—competitors attempt to swallow as many chicken wings as possible in 10 minutes. The winner earns $500 and the chance to compete in the Hooters World Wing-Eating Championship, happening later this month in New York City. It happens Saturday, July 14, at 6 p.m. on the Promenade Stage.

2. NOT SICK TO YOUR STOMACH YET?

3. DOGGY PADDLE

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5. RIDE FOR A GOOD CAUSE

1. YOU’VE GOT YOUR HALF-PIPE

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Just in case witnessing one eating competition isn’t enough, you can also watch a corn-dog eating competition.

Last year, competitive eater Johnnie Excel won the corndog eating contest by consuming 18 corn dogs in eight minutes, earning him a $2,000 check. Catch the corn-dog eating contest finals Saturday, July 21, at 4 p.m., at the Promenade Stage to see if he’ll repeat as champ.

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3. MAKE MINE A DOUBLE Guinness World Records will be on hand to record the State Fair’s attempt at the world’s largest cocktail.

Ovations Food Services employee Nick Nicora aims to create a 10,500-gallon margarita called the Calorita (California’s Margarita) using a 30-foot-tall cocktail shaker. Afterward, fairgoers can purchase 16-ounce souvenir cups or shakers of the record-breaking drink for $10 and $15 dollars, respectively. It all happens starting at 10 a.m. on Friday, July 13, across from Cantina Hussongs.

4. GOURMET GLUTTONS Had enough with the excessively gluttonous food activities? There are also plenty of food competitions catered toward the gourmet—instead of the gourmand—eater.

These include contests for the best baked good, cannedfood item and coffee concoction. California’s Kitchen Competition winners can be found in Expo Center Building 2 throughout the fair.

5. FRIED. FOODS. Five words: deep-fried red-velvet cake. That’s all you need to know. See Food Stuff, page 31, for more details. |

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DISH

Gringo-wiches See FOOD STUFF

Dig in After 178 reviews and a lot of dim sum, SN&R food critic Greg Lucas leaves the table

by GREG LUCAS

SN&R debuts a new food critic Thursday, July 12. In the meantime, relive Greg Lucas’ colorful and—yes, we said it—yummy legacy at www.newsreview.com/ sacramento/greg-lucas/author.

★

FLAWED

★★ HAS MOMENTS

★★★ APPEALING

★★★★ AUTHORITATIVE

★★★★★ EPIC

Still hungry?

Search SN&R’s “Dining Directory” to find local restaurants by name or by type of food. Sushi, Mexican, Indian, Italian— discover it all in the “Dining” section at www.newsreview.com.

BEFORE

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At the end it’s hard to begin. First and foremost, next week there will be a new guide on this ever-changing, always-captivating tour of the capital’s culinary creativity. This new guide may even like broccoli, shun fiery flavors and never bask in the warm afterglow of dim sum sluttiness.

Vive la différence! Celebrate variety.

It’s difficult to describe how enriching, educational and eye-opening this experience has been—one wonderful discovery after another. It began shortly before Thanksgiving 2008, with the oddest job interview in a 25year-plus writing career. Was SN&R aware that this candidate’s clip file contained absolutely no previous restaurant reviews?

“We had people apply with lots of food experience,” the then-managing editor said.

“We thought you’d be more fun.”

So where best to learn the rudiments of restaurant reviewing? Logic suggested reading Jonathan Gold, formerly of the LA Weekly and now with the Los Angeles Times, since he’s the only person to win a Pulitzer in this more-difficult-than-a-readermight-think realm. Gold offers information leavened with a bit of humor and a vividness that invariably causes a reader to feel as if they’re at the table with him. That’s the strategy attempted here—no Pulitzer nomination appears forthcoming, however. A proud accomplishment, though, is that in 178 reviews, the word “yummy” never described a dish—only “yum”—and that was only in conjunction with Thai soup and salad.

Besides the varied folk with whom bread has been broken over the past three-and-ahalf years, there have also been a host of hostesses, servers, chefs and owners—matriarch and patriarch alike—whose contributions to the delight of this job can’t be understated. There isn’t enough space in this issue to thank everyone by name, but ultimately, people, out front and in back, define a restaurant. Sometimes attentiveness or a cheerful disposition elevates the assessment of an otherwise underwhelming eatery or it further amplifies the authoritativeness of another.

And there is a continuing prejudice, freely admitted in previous reviews, that meals eaten at family-owned restaurants are inherently superior.

Speaking of family-owned restaurants, a huge debt is owed to Jane and Jim Ison of Steamers in Old Sacramento and Café Vinoteca—to which every visit is epic. They provided this reviewer an illuminating view of the myriad daily challenges faced by restaurateurs—in procuring, preparing and presenting food of all sorts—herding cats through a minefield while juggling hand grenades does not overstate the complexity FRONTLINES

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SMILE!

of the process. Yet, they persevere and succeed, as do other owners.

Ultimately, this broader appreciation of what happens on both sides of the counter—and a recognition of the many pitfalls to success—led to more measured evaluations, longer on constructive criticism and short on stinging rebuke.

Gaining this perspective was largely a gift from Jane and Jim—couldn’t have done it with without them. Or, for that matter, Mrs. Lucas, ever the good sport, and daughter Katie, who, as a consequence, has overcome an initial aversion to Korean food, although she still refuses to eat anything red under the belief—usually true— that it will offend her spice-averse sensibilities.

Ultimately, people, out front and in back, define a restaurant.

California represents the most diverse group of people brought together as equals in the history of civilization; Sacramento and its outlying environs mirror that diversity. That marvelous multiplicity is displayed on hundreds of plates spread invitingly across this region’s many tables. Exploring Vietnamese cuisine, for example, has deepened an understanding of Vietnamese culture. But there’s also: Korean, Persian, Indian, Fijian, Italian, Hawaiian, Peruvian, Thai, Greek, French, Italian, Chinese, Laotian and Mexican, the latter in its many-splendored iterations from the Distrito Federal to the Yucatan.

So what’s the delay? Dig in! Salud! Kampi!

Yamas! Ao Chon! Salute! Prost! Sante! Konbe!

Gan bei! Moat hi bah yo! May all your meals be joyous and brimming with warm camaraderie.

Above all, “Vive meglio!” Ω

Corner of 16th & D St (916) 446-4834 Mon-Wed 10-7pm • Thu-Sat 10-9pm

Sacramento’s 1st Taqueria Family Owned since 1974

THE V WORD Use your brain A few ways to take care of one’s brain: Wear a helmet when biking to protect it, learn a new language to create new neural pathways to exercise it and eat omega-3 fatty acids to help it function.

A common source for these essential fatty acids is often fish, which, to clear up any confusion—because shockingly, there is still some—is an animal, has a face and is absolutely not vegetarian. But you can take your pick of plant-based sources including flaxseeds or flaxseed oil—which has more omega-3s than fish oil for a 200-calorie serving—hemp seeds or oil, and chia seeds. Grape leaves, broccoli and alfalfa sprouts all have decent doses of fatty-acid goodness to offer, too.

—Shoka STORY

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DISH Here are a few recent reviews and regional recommendations, updated regularly. Check out www.newsreview.com for more dining advice.

Downtown

Estelle’s Patisserie With its marble tables and light wooden chairs, there’s an airy atmosphere, casual and cozy. Estelle’s offers an espresso bar and a wide assortment of teas and muffins and rolls for the breakfast crowd as well as sweets, including DayGlo macarons.

For the lunch-inclined there are soups, salads, sandwiches and meat or meatless quiche. One of the authentic touches is the spare use of condiments. The smoked salmon is enlivened by dill and the flavor of its croissant. Its tomato bisque is thick and richly flavored, and, in a nice touch, a puff pastry floats in the tureen as accompaniment.

Everything is surprisingly reasonable. Half a sandwich and soup is $7.25. A caprese baguette is $5.25.

Ham and cheese is $5.75. There’s a lot to like about Estelle’s—except dinner. Doors close at 6pm. French.

901 K St., (916) 551-1500. Meal for one: $5-$10. ★★★1⁄2

Midtown

Mati’s There’s a reason “Indian Express” was part of Mati’s previous title. A variety of dishes are offered daily in a buffet, but Mom serves instead of diners slopping

stuff onto their own plates. Options are fairly straightforward: A small dish at $6.99 with rice and two items, and a large, which has up to four items, at $8.99. Subtract $1 if going vegetarian. There’s five dishes in the daily veg rotation, most of them vegan. Offerings run the gamut from mild to spicy, although the temperature of spicy is well within tolerance, except for the most heat adverse. This is straightup, nicely prepared Indian food without frills. Mom and daughter make it even more appealing. Indian.

1501 16th St.; (916) 341-0532. Dinner for one: $9-$12. ★★★

The Porch The Porch is light and white with a vibe that suggests the airy sweep of an antebellum Charleston eatery. One can only envy the extensive on-site research conducted by chef Jon Clemens and business partners John Lopez and Jerry Mitchell, creators of Capitol Garage. The most enjoyable menu selections are salads or seafood sandwiches or entrees. Slaw on the barbecue pork sandwich elevates its status, and its pickled vegetables are sweet and tart, adding an additional dimension. The shrimp and grits dish, while laden with cheddar and gravy, is a synergistic mélange— perhaps The Porch’s trademark dish. Also in the running is the purloo, the low country’s version of jambalaya, with andouille, crunchy crawfish appendages, and the same sautéed bell peppers and onions that also appear in the grits.

Southern. 1815 K St., (916) 444-2423.

Dinner for one: $20-$30. ★★★

The Press Bistro There are flashes of Greece, such as the crisscross rows of bare light bulbs over the front patio. Or the summery small plate of stacked watermelon squares with feta and mint.

Even Italian vegetarians get cut into the action with mushroom ravioli and its corn, leek and dill triumvirate. Another special is a colorful small plate of pepperonata—slightly-pickled-in-champagne-vinegar stripes of peppers awash in olive oil. Speaking of olive oil, it’s all that’s needed to accompany the fluffy, light focaccia, whose four rectangles come neatly stacked. Share The Press with someone you love. Mediterranean.

1809 Capitol Ave., (916) 444-2566.

Dinner for one: $15-$30. ★★★1⁄2 The Red Rabbit Kitchen & Bar Resistance is futile when it comes to Red Rabbit’s desserts. The berryinfused ice-cream sandwich is bright and refreshing with a chewy shell that dovetails neatly with the smooth fruity interior. But there’s less effusiveness for the entrees.

The Bastard Banh Mi doesn’t improve on the original. A number of items from the “Farm to Plate,” “Tasty Snacks” and “Buns” sections of the menu land high in the plus column, however. Any place that offers chimichurri rocks hard. Here it enlivens the Farm Animal Lollipops snack—particularly the lamb—and the mayor-of-Munchkin-City-sized lamb bocadillas. American. 2718 J St., (916) 706-2275. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★1⁄2

Sampino’s Towne Foods Sampino’s Towne Foods turns out to be a bright jewel in a drab Alkali Flat strip mall of paycheck cashers and

laundromat. It’s everything an Italian deli should be and more, right down to the Louie Prima on the box and the timpano in the refrigerated display case. Several lobbyists, who elect to drive the six to seven blocks from their offices near the capitol, to pick up sandwiches or—in one instance—five meatballs, begin spewing superlatives when asked their views on Sampino’s. Italian Deli. 1607 F St., (916) 441-2372. Dinner for one: $7-$15. ★★★★1⁄2

chairs just six blocks away. Flavor combinations are a big part of the Formoli playbook, and the blend of the tower’s components is the payoff just as it is in the salad of beets—wafer-thin enough to be used interchangeably in the carpaccio—with shaved fennel, frisée, a few orange segments and pistachios laced with a stentorian balsamic vinaigrette. Mediterranean.

3839 J St., (916) 448-5699. Dinner for one: $20-$40. ★★★★

Thir13en From the start—and, lo,

To quote Gov. Jerry Brown from his first iteration as California’s chief executive more than 30 years ago: “Small is beautiful.” Juno’s proves this axiom in spades. The menu is fairly compact and slanted more toward lunch than dinner. Juno’s macaroni and cheese, which comes with rock shrimp on rigatoni, a Grana Padano, Gruyère and cheddar trio and a dusting of paprika, is a creative take on a comfort-food classic. In the traditional-sandwich realm, all start out with the advantage of Juno’s homemade sour— but not sourdough—bread with its crunchy crust and soft interior. In the soppressata salami sandwich, the bread amplifies the tartness of the pepperoncini while the turkey sandwich with provolone, tomato, arugula and pesto requires several napkins as the oil in the pesto seeps inexorably through the airy bread slices. American. 3675 J St., (916) 456-4522. Dinner for one: $5-$10. ★★★★

these many weeks hence—the situp-take-notice plate remains the pork tonnato sandwich. It’s the Italian peasant spread or sauce made with tonno—tuna—tonnato that empowers this open-face masterwork. Spread on a toasted half baguette, the tonnato is the foundation upon which the pork rests.

Above the pork is an awning of mixed greens, with a generous overhang, sprinkled with not enough crispy onions and paperthin slices of pickled fennel. There isn’t space to wax poetic about the cordon bleu sandwich, the burger, the designer cocktails or the fizzy water from Wales. See for yourself.

Very authoritative. American.

1300 H St., (916) 594-7669.

Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★★1⁄2

East Sac

Formoli’s Bistro Formoli’s is the other half of the restaurant swap on J Street that sent Vanilla Bean Bistro (formerly known as Gonul’s J Street Cafe) to Formoli’s old warren and brought Formoli’s into its current high-ceilinged, spare, dark cranberry space of black tables and

Juno’s Kitchen & Delicatessen

Mamma Susanna’s Ristorante Italiano There’s something endearing, almost Norman Rockwell-esque about a neighborhood restaurant that is most commonly referred to by its

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Vanilla Bean Bistro Gonul’s J Street Cafe has moved up the street and evolved into the Vanilla Bean Bistro. Its narrow, lowceilinged coziness is consonant with its understated, whatever-theimpulse-inspires alchemy that owner/chef Gonul Blum, has shown over the past eight years. Blum hails from Turkey. That country’s culinary tradition provides a sturdy foundation, but for her, it serves more as a launching pad. A recurring feature practiced here is the inclusion of fruit—preserved and fresh—in many dishes. And the tabbouleh delivers a roundhousepunch flavor combination. Turkish.

3260-B J St., (916) 457-1155. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★★1⁄2 The Wienery The Wienery is wondrous, metaphysical, even. This 35year-old East Sacramento landmark sells old-fashioned steamed franks and sausages. The menu warns that the Fiesta Dog—refried beans, onions, cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and taco sauce—is “surprisingly good.” Who can quarrel

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patrons as the neighborhood restaurant. There is no shortage of options on the menu with nearly a dozen or so pastas, even more types of pizzas, a smattering of salads and various entrees, including the piccata chicken or veal dish that Mamma Susanna’s counts as one of her specialties. Of the pastas and pizzas, the norcina tastes like and looks like an orangey vodka sauce with roasted red-pepper slices and sausage rounds tossed in a bed of penne. While the menu claims spicy, some red chili flakes do the trick. Italian. 5487 Carlson Dr., (916) 452-7465. Dinner for one: $12-$20. ★★★

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1100 O ST • SACRAMENTO (916) 498–1744 • Open Mon–Sat

Arden/ Carmichael

Bowl & Ramen Randomness yields wonderful rewards at Bowl & Ramen, a ramen eatery under the same ownership as Mana Japanese Restaurant & Sushi Bar. This venture may explain the miso soup, not a common occurrence in other Korean joints, which is proffered here, along with the eight banchan dishes. It also explains the initially incongruous ramen and California Roll combo.

For the less intrepid and the spiceaverse, there’s the second half of Bowl & Ramen’s name with nine ramen options, including ones that feature dumplings, cold buckwheat noodles and potato noodles. If not a believer in the miracle of sundubu, Bowl & Ramen offers conversion. This unique tofu stew has mushrooms, veggies, onions and an egg on top but simply reciting the ingredients doesn’t do the combination justice. Here, the bibimbap is presented in an artful way; among the dish’s vegetables are small cubes of zucchini that appear out of place but skillfully

augment the other flavors. Korean.

2560 Alta Arden Expy., (916) 487-2694 Dinner for one: $9-$15. ★★★1⁄2

Phaya Thai Thai places seem to define heat differently. At some, requesting “medium hot” still leaves lips tingling for many minutes afterward, while “hot” causes eyes to bleed and steam to gush from ears. Phaya is more circumspect in its application of heat.

Medium is barely so and hot is closer to medium. Here, the tom kha gai coconut soup is a bit sugary but, in its vegetarian iteration, brimming with plenty of tofu, dried red peppers with seeds, mushrooms, tomato wedges, galanga and cilantro. Thai fried—as with Thai sweet and sour—is far less heavy than entrees of the same name offered by the region’s northern neighbor, China.

Pleasantly provocative is the avocado curry—a panang curry featuring myriad slices of avocado.

Portions are large here: The beef salad is enough for two and does have some heated heft. Another salad worth consideration is one featuring a sweet, chewy sausage with plenty of cucumbers, red onion and mint. Refreshing, particularly on a hot Sacramento day.

Thai. 4310 Marconi Ave., (916) 482-5019. Dinner for one: $10-$15. ★★★1⁄2

Land Park/ Curtis Park

Pangaea Two Brews Cafe Tables, tall and short, are large and communal, fostering that casual camaraderie that should be the goal of any self-respecting

NEED ATTENTION?

brewpub. There’s a fairly extensive menu, including breakfast items.

Not to put too fine a point on it: Pangaea’s offerings are not beers that will be found at a Save Mart Supermarket or even Nugget. They are nuanced. Brewed with artisanship. In some cases, for hundreds of years. There’s the usual panoply of French dip, hot pastrami, Reuben and so on. Among the signature offerings is The Gobbler. Turkey, natch. Cranberry sauce, natch. Then red onion, several roma tomato slices, a thicket of green leaf and pepper jack cheese, all shoehorned into a big baguette. Brewpub. 2743 Franklin Blvd., (916) 454-4942.

Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★1⁄2

ILLUSTRATION BY MARK STIVERS

with truth in advertising? Even a simple, straightforward creation such as the Ranch Dog, starring— natch—ranch dressing, can engender a “Whoa, tasty!” The sausages—such as the Polish or Tofurky Kielbasa—are grilled as is the bacon-wrapped dog with its not-easily forgettable jalapeño relish. American. 715 56th St., (916) 455-0497. Dinner for one: $10-$20. ★★★★

caramelized onions and a sweetish hot chili sauce. This kind of hogwild legerdemain, mixing and matching items found elsewhere on the menu, is what elevates this grub shack to well beyond a simple sandwich place. American. 4261 Truxel Rd., (916) 285-6100. Dinner for one: $8-$12. ★★★★

North Highlands

Las Islitas Scrawled on the front window below Las Islitas is the phrase “de Nayarit.” Nayarit is a state on the western coast of Mexico of which Las Islitas is a coastal town that, one must infer from the menu, goes for seafood in a major way. The shrimp a la cora serves up plenty of grilled, reddusted, exoskeleton-still-attached shrimp sprinkled with chili that set off with tomato and cucumber slices and red onion half moon slivers. Spicy, messy and memorable.

The cazuelitas is a cold seafood stew punctuated with tomato, cucumber, red onion, avocado slices and a lime sauce so intense that bits of tostada are needed to leaven its potentially overpowering impact. It’s a joyful discovery that appears to be complimented, as many of the meals are at other tables, with michelada in foot tall mugs with chili-peppered rims.

Mexican. 3618 A St., North Highlands, (916) 331-4302. Dinner for one: $15-$25. ★★★★

Natomas

Pork Belly Grub Shack Pork Belly Grub Shack encourages customers to pig out with menu items that include a catfish po’boy, steak options and several burgers. For vegetarians there’s the Porkless Bella Burger, a portobello mushroom and jack cheese sandwich with tomato and mixed greens. But who the hell wants steak and chicken and big-headed mushrooms at a place that so proudly promotes pork belly? Go whole hog with the Big Piggin. The first bite is salty and sweet with a rich beef patty, barbecue sauce, cheddar, a strong splash of garlic aioli and sliced pork belly. The Hot Mess is similar, sans pork belly burger and served on sourdough with a fried egg. The Stinkin’ Pig features cheddar, pepper jack, barbecue sauce and cured, smoked pork belly with

Big (deep-fried) fun Foodies, take note: The California State Fair is just around the corner, opening Thursday, July 12. One thing beer and food enthusiasts might enjoy is a celebration of the fair’s Commercial Craft Brewing competition winners at the Friends of the California State Fair Brewfest, happening Saturday, July 28.

But even before that, you’ll certainly have a plethora of beer and wine drinking options, and plenty of fried food to soak up all of that alcohol. In case you were wondering, the fair sent out a press release with some of its creative fried-food options, which include (but are not limited to): deep-fried cheeseburgers (with jalapeño cheese), chocolate-covered bacon, a brick of curly fries, deep-fried mac ’n’ cheese on a stick, deep-fried grilled cheese sandwiches and (likely to be my favorite) deep-fried red-velvet cake. Tip: Bring antacids. And don’t attempt holding onto a roller-coaster restraining bar after eating these dishes. Check out www.bigfun.org for more information.

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COOLHUNTING

STAY COOL PLAY POOL

‘Stitch your bitch’

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It goes without saying that handmade dolls are far more charming than mass-produced machine-made ones—yet I said it anyway. Sally Muir and Joanna Osborne achieve such DIY adorableness with BOOK their book, Knit Your Own Dog: Easy-to-Follow Patterns for Pedigree Pooches (Black Dog & Leventhal Publishers, $14.95). There’s row-by-row directions on how to knit and purl your way into making a new canine companion, including long-haired Afghan hound, a spotted Dalmatian and a pudgy pug—collar included. Thanks to well-executed photography, it also makes a fetching coffee-table book, if you’re not the type to, as the authors say, “stitch your bitch.” www.knityourowndog.com.

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Marilyn swimsuit There comes a time in a woman’s life when the teensy bikinis sold at most clothing stores prove too flimsy for her real-life curves. Conventional society offers two solutions: hide inside an amorphous floral-print swim dress or stop swimming entirely. Shun both these routes for one less traveled by investing in a 1950’s vintage-inspired swimsuit.

Swimwear from the ’50s is flattering to most feminine figures, and a number such as Pinup Girl Clothing’s Marilyn swimsuit ($102) accentuates grown-woman curves with an old-Hollywood grace.

FASHION Get it in black, red, green, royal blue or a hot-pink one that screams “Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend” (or “Material Girl,” depending on your age). www.pinupgirlclothing.com.

—Becca Costello

Eye gifts, unwrapped On and Off Bass Mike Watt is (and has always been) the consummate bass player for the ages. Over the years he’s not only added a definitive, low-end rumble to bands such as the Stooges, Firehose and the Minutemen, he’s also proven himself quite the introspective sort.

BOOK And, as evidenced in his latest book, the aptly titled On and Off Bass (Three Rooms Press, $25), he’s also a skilled, still-life photographer with a keen eye for capturing what he calls “eye gifts.” This full-color collection of pictures chronicles, among other visuals, many of Watt’s kayak excursions near his hometown of San Pedro in SoCal, complete with some mightyfine narrative, however brief. Short, journal-like entries from different countries and cities reflect his ever-changing states of mind. A must-read-and-see affair. www.threeroomspress.com.

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When I can’t sleep, I listen to podcasts. The soothing voices of Ira Glass or Dan Savage make for great insomniac company.

Not so with The Truth, a free podcast comprising fictional stories. Don’t get me wrong, The Truth is groundbreaking radio theater, and you should subscribe to it on iTunes immediately.

Every two weeks a collective of writers and actors in New York break podcast conventions with these original “movies for your ears,” most clocking in at less than PODCAST 20 minutes long. But if, late at night, you switch on an episode such as “In Good Hands (Part 1),” you might suddenly find yourself in an abandoned subway tunnel with menacing strangers. It’s thrilling theater, but it won’t help you sleep. http://thetruthapm.com.

—Becca Costello

by JOEY GARCIA

Joey

cherishes her freedom.

Got a problem?

Write, email or leave a message for Joey at the News & Review.

Give your name, telephone number (for verification purposes only) and question— all correspondence will be kept strictly confidential.

BEFORE

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One of my personal talents is translation. Not of Spanish, French or German, but of emotional language. I’m particularly skilled at deciphering the real meaning behind pseudo-courteous phrases such as “too nice.” Being “too nice” is not about being nice (good, kind polite) at all. No, it’s an indirect way of calling someone codependent.

A codependent doesn’t love; he or she becomes attached. That means an entangled, hopelessly complicated relationship in which the codependent person engages in actions that seem generous, but actually serve to create and perpetuate a power imbalance. Some codependents do this by becoming mother-father-therapist-handyman-secretary-chauffeur-babysitter-bank-housekeeper to their adult love interest. Sadly, that love interest is mostly incapable or unwilling to reciprocate, often because of addiction or self-created catastrophes or dramatic bouts of sadness, bitterness and anger.

A healthy adult relationship is possible when two independent people get to know one another gradually, and, through that process, learn to depend on one another. It is interdependent: equal and reciprocal. So, no, becoming a gangster won’t help.

Actually, that personality type can be codependent, too. He or she just expresses codependency with aggression and violence. (You can see this clearly in relationships that are mired in domestic abuse.)

The real answer is to be yourself.

A codependent fears that he or she is not loveable without becoming indispensable. But as the desperation to be seen, appreciated and loved grows, so does the codependent’s resentment of not being seen, appreciated and loved as expected.

FRONTLINES

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You can begin recovering from codependency by observing yourself while dating. Spend three-quarters of your dating energy determining if you and your date share a foundation of true friendship. Once you know that love is possible, offer to do one thing for her. Notice whether she reciprocates by offering to assist you. Carefully determine how you feel about the transaction. Continue your recovery by attending a 12-step program (Alcoholics Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous) and reading books such as Melody Beatty’s Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself.

And remember, your willingness to lend a helping hand is not bad.

Your fixation on doing too much is the problem.

How much time should pass before it’s OK to date a friend’s ex-girlfriend? My friend dated this girl for six months. They broke up two years ago. He is seeing someone else but is really possessive about his ex, even though she doesn’t talk to him at all. She and I really like each other. Is this cool?

Completely. He doesn’t own her.

It’s not moral or legal to possess another human being. If he tries to control either of you, it’s a sign of his insecurity. Don’t let him bully you into arguing or fighting with him. Plenty of time has passed to process unresolved feelings. That means this situation is simply an opportunity to stand your ground while facing someone who is irrational. That’s good practice for life. One last thing: Under the circumstances, not dating this young woman is being disloyal to your heart. Full speed ahead, please! Ω

Meditation of the week: “I’d like to make a motion that we face reality,” said Bob Newhart during an episode of The Bob Newhart Show. I second that motion! And you, dear reader?

Do the institutions you affiliate with perpetuate the dark fantasies of fundamentalism?

Or a brilliant and loving reality?

FEATURE

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Please do not bring gifts, cards, flowers, etc. Your presence is gift enough for me. If your birthday is also in July, we will celebrate your birthday as well.

YOU’RE WELCOME, TREES.

Write Joey, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815; call (916) 498-1234, ext. 3206; or email askjoey@ newsreview.com.

Women tell me I’m too nice. Should I change into a different person?

If I were a gangster, that might work, because females flock to gangsters as if those men were God. I am baffled because great females are attracted to men who aren’t nice. Why is this? Also, I know that there is more to a person than how he or she looks, but if a female has a beautiful smile and long hair, if she has it all, will I screw it up by being too nice? I offer to do everything for a lady if I’m interested in her. I’m willing to do things for ladies that no other man will. Am I too nice?

RECYCLE THIS PAPER.

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

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STAGE Death by sword fight King Arthur

Help wanted

A cool summer night, a stage, a pair of fools in motley making off-color jokes about bodily functions by and a bunch of sword-swinging knights and Kel Munger ladies—what more could one want?

“More people should die in a sword fight,” kelm@ newsreview.com said the very young man behind me. “But at least they make a lot of sword noise.”

So that’s it—more death. Otherwise, this original play by the Sacramento Shakespeare Festival’s director, Luther Hanson, foots the bill quite nicely. King Arthur opened this year’s Sacramento Shakespeare Festival and runs in repertory with Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors through July 29, in the amphitheater in William Land Park.

requires 2+ years supervision/management experience and Ba/BS degree, preferably in accounting or Business.

A king, a sword and not nearly enough death for the blood-thirsty little kid critics.

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2 PHOTO BY BARRY WISDOM

this position is responsible for creating ongoing improvements and enhancements to the overall operation and effectiveness of the accounting function. you will interact with the bank, accounting firm, vendors, management team and our awesome staff.

King Arthur, 8 p.m. on July 8, 13, 15, 20, 22 and 27; $15-$18, children 6-12 are free. Sacramento Shakespeare Festival at the William A. Carroll Amphitheatre in William Land Park, Land Park Drive and 15th Avenue; www.sacramentoshakespeare.net. Gates open at 6:30 p.m.; bring lawn chairs and blankets. Through July 27.

4

Business Manager

SN&R is now hiring a Business Manager. You will be responsible for ensuring the accurate and timely operation of all financial functions of the News & Review’s three papers, including general ledger, payroll, accounts payable and receivable, credit and collections, budgets and financial reporting, business filings, and insurance.

with the Bard, but they’re good ones for a summer night in a park with a lot of kids watching—even if those children do expect more people to die in a sword fight. Ω

SUBLIME-DON’T MISS

Hanson’s King Arthur is written “in the style of Shakespeare,” which might portend something far worse than this abridged (and incestless, as befits a family show) version of the probably mythical English king’s life.

The play features a very young and handsome king (Brent Bianchini) dealing with the affection between his wife, Lady Guenevere (Breanna Reilly) and his best friend, Sir Lancelot (Rob August-Norton), while the real threat to his kingdom comes from his scheming sister Morgan (Sara Lorraine Hanson, in an outstanding performance) and her demanding and rather stupid son, Mordred (Anthony M. Person).

It’s easy to argue with some of Hanson’s choices—for example, a meaner, smarter, more venal Mordred is more in keeping with the tradition, but it wouldn’t provide much comic relief. This is all about accessibility and fun; that means clanking swords, plenty of running in and out, and the bad guys (and gals) getting skewered.

Oh, did I mention that the ladies—including Guenevere—take up arms and fight?

There are also female knights at this round table. Yes, Hanson has taken some liberties

Tastes like snosberries Willy Wonka

The cast is garbed in bright attire, and the actors are obviously having a good time, but this adaptation of the beloved Roald Dahl tale, directed by Bob Irvin, loses much of the magic. Instead of the dark and lovely tale of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we get a lightweight confection in which more songs have been substituted for less substance.

Willy Wonka (Jonathan Blum) is a famous chocolatier who sets up a contest for a tour of his stupendous factory. Will unlucky-but-positive Charlie Bucket (Brett Young/Elana Sogard) be able to find the golden ticket and gain admission? The musical has the wellknown story, but adds a number of “musical” songs: A line a character says is turned from a line into a song.

Still, the original tunes are fun and memorable to hear. The mix-and-match children and parents are a roulette wheel of funny and ill-timed bits, and the bedridden grandparents suffer from slow timing and unfunny, repetitive jokes, tempered by the children’s ensemble of Oompa Loompas and “candy kids,” who provide ample entertainment in the cute department.

In this telling, Willy Wonka is narrator of the action, often popping up needlessly to sing a song or introduce the next something or other. Blum’s Wonka deprives the wondrous candy man of much of his majesty and individualism, culminating in a wobbly twodimensional character. Despite his excellent costume, he’s not making everything he bakes satisfying and delicious. Instead, this musical adaptation by Leslie Bricusse and Tim McDonald ought be buried in sand and forgotten.

However, if audience members wish to take a chance on a night under the stars with a colorful, enthusiastically performed musical, perhaps they will disagree with this critic.

—Maxwell McKee

Willy Wonka, 8:30 p.m. Friday, Saturday and Sunday. $5-$15.

The Fair Oaks Theatre Festival, Veterans Memorial Amphitheatre, 7991 California Avenue in Fair Oaks; (916) 966-3683; www.fairoakstheatrefestival.com. Through July 22.

THINK

Now Playing

4

LOOKS & MONEY

Two absurdist plays—The Ugly One by Marius von Mayenburg and The New Tenant by Eugene Ionesco—get a viscerally and intellectually entertaining staging by the B Street company. God bless Buck Busfield—he’s picked a great way to open the 2012-13 season. The deliciously goofy and charming story of the Plaids, a classic 1950s all-male singing group who return from the Great Beyond to perform the show they never got to when they were alive. T 6:30pm; W 2 & 6:30pm;

FREE.

Th, F 8pm; Sa 5 & 9pm; Su 2pm. Through 8/5.

$23-$35. B Street Theatre, 2711 B St.; (916) 443-5300; www.bstreettheatre.org. J.C.

Contact Ad Serices for advertising information in this special section (916) 498-1234 ext.1121

ECONO LUBE N’ TUNE & BRAKES

The Taming of the Shrew: Let me teach youse to read Latin.

4

THE TAMING OF THE SHREW

Main Street Theatre Works sets Shakespeare’s bawdy and rollicking battle of the sexes in New Jersey, with a Sinatra soundtrack and a motorcycle. Director Susan McCandless favors activity and suggestiveness (but not over the line for kids) in this fine summer show. F, Sa 8pm. Through 7/21. $12-$17.50, with a $49 “family pack” (two adults, two students). Main Street Theatre Works at the Kennedy Mine Amphitheatre, accessible from N. Main Street in Jackson; (209) 295-4499; www.mstw.org. J.H.

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Campy comedy with a metastructure, as the cheesy lounge act Maxwell, Butternut and Bean (Bill Arnold, Michael Pearce Donley and Bob Stromberg) performs for—and involves— the audience. It’s either family-friendly fun or a strange open-mic night, depending on your point of view. W 7pm; Th 2 & 7pm; F 8pm; Sa 2 & 8pm; Su 2pm. Through 7/22. $20-$38; student rush available. The Cosmopolitan Cabaret, 1000 K St.; (916) 557-1999; www.calmt.com. J.M.

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Short reviews by Jim Carnes, Jeff Hudson, Maxwell McKee and Jonathan Mendick.

Longer reviews of these plays are available online at www.newsreview.com/sacramento/home.

BEFORE

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WOODY ALEC ROBERTO PENÉLOPE JUDY JESSE GRETA ELLEN ALLEN BALDWIN BENIGNI DAVIS EISENBERG GERWIG PAGE CRUZ

“‘To Rome With Love’ has pleasures galore.”

-Peter Travers, ROLLING STONE

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The Amazing Spider-Man The buzz in Hollywood after 2007’s Spider-Man 3 was that that was Spidey’s swan song, and it looked like it by was just as well. Spider-Man was first-rate, Jim Lane Spider-Man 2 even better, but with installment No. 3 the franchise was losing steam. SpiderMan 3 included the customary loose end for plugging in a fourth movie, but star Tobey Maguire wasn’t interested in continuing, and, evidently, neither was director Sam Raimi. Still, Columbia Pictures and Marvel Studios weren’t about to let things end there, not when Spider-Man movies were earning more than $300 million a pop. So they decided to give the franchise a “reboot”—you know, that thing you do as a last resort when your computer hits a dead-end and stops working for you? They do it for movies, too—with spectacular success in the case of Star Trek and Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies, less so with 2006’s Superman Returns (yet another reboot is in the offing).

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Ben and Aunt May (Martin Sheen and Sally Field), then vanishing into the rainy night (“There’s something your mother and I have to do”). Peter grows into a sullen, twitchy, slackjawed mumbler, an unappealing dweeb with a virtual “bully me” sign taped to the back of his ratty leather jacket. Seeing Garfield slouch and glower through the role only serves to remind us of how instantly sympathetic Tobey Maguire was in the same role, doing some of the same things.

Remember the outcry in 2001 from fans of the comic books when Maguire’s casting was announced? And remember how he hadn’t been onscreen 10 minutes before we were wondering why we ever thought he was wrong for the part? Those were the days. In this new movie, even as the final credits rolled, I was still wondering who ever thought Andrew Garfield was right for it, and why. Garfield may be a good actor (frankly, he has too much of a James Dean complex for my taste), but in a role that depends on winning and holding an audience’s sympathy, he’s too closed off and hostile, the kind of character you avoid making eye contact with on public transportation.

In the case of Spider-Man, maybe they should have left well enough alone. Or maybe they should have just gone on to Spider-Man 4 with a new star and director, pretending that Maguire and Raimi had never jumped ship.

Cranking things back to square one and telling the whole story all over again (in James Vanderbilt, Steve Kloves and Alvin Sargent’s script, making it more complicated and cumbersome) was a mistake. An even bigger mistake was casting Andrew Garfield in the title role.

Seeing the story all over again—Peter Parker, the bullied high-school wimp, bitten by a genetically enhanced spider, developing superpowers, inventing his web-shooting wrist attachments, frittering around with his powers until his screw-it-all attitude gets his beloved Uncle Ben killed—only serves to remind us of how well Sam Raimi and writer David Koepp did it the first time.

Spider-Man (2002) was lean, clear and economical. The Amazing Spider-Man (2012) clutters up the backstory, beginning with Peter at age 10, when his parents (Campbell Scott and Embeth Davidtz) drop him off with Uncle

Tobey Maguire had a wonderful rapport with Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, the girl next door. This time, there’s no Mary Jane; instead, it’s Gwen Stacy (in the comics she didn’t come along until Peter entered college), and she’s played by Emma Stone. At least Stone does what she can, but the role is thankless, and one of today’s best young actresses is criminally underused; it’s such a waste of a valuable resource that somebody should call the EPA. Garfield glowers at Stone, hunching his shoulders and breathing through his mouth, just as he does at everyone else, and sparks never fly. Remember that marvelous upside-down kiss in the rain between Maguire and Dunst in the first movie? Don’t expect anything like that here. Garfield and Stone kiss, but it might as well be through a layer of Saran wrap.

The aptly-named Marc Webb directs the clunky script as efficiently as it will allow, and the production has all the shine that $215 million can buy. But the movie needs a star at the center of Spider-Man’s web. Instead, it has a black hole. Ω

1

opening friday, july 6

headhunterS

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

now playing

Brave

In ancient times, a Celtic princess (voice

by Kelly Macdonald) rebels when her parents (queen Emma Thompson and king Billy Connolly) decide to betroth her without asking her thoughts on the subject. In a snit, she makes an impulsive bargain with a witch to “change” her mother, and the witch does—she changes the queen into a bear. Written by directors Mark Andrews, Steve Purcell and Brenda Chapman, with an assist from Irene Mecchi (story by Chapman), this latest Pixar feature has the customary supple Pixar animation, and it’s never less than gorgeous to behold. But it may be a case of too many cooks; the story lacks punch and never even comes near the mythic resonance it tries for. Indeed, it seems patched together from remnants of The Little Mermaid, mixed with a heaping dollop of “I hate you, Mom!” J.L.

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Headhunters

Director Morten Tyldum’s brutal and clever nail-biter, adapted by Lars Gudmestad and Ulf Ryberg from the Jo Nesbø bestseller, twists and zips determinedly toward the pinnacle of contemporary Norwegian noir. To measure up to his taller trophy wife (Synnøve Macody Lund), a weaselly corporate recruiter (Aksel Hennie) moonlights as an art thief, consequently acquiring a relentless former-mercenary nemesis (Nikolaj Coster-Waldau) and some reflexive audience sympathy. This makes for a very entertaining comparison between living beyond one’s means and running for one’s life. As Tyldum piles on gruesome indignities and gamely preposterous plot turns, the actors play to satisfyingly familiar types, shrewdly and with great flair. And so we behold the weird paradox of the modern Scandinavian movie thriller: unmistakably indebted to American pulp, yet assuredly much fresher and more vital than its inevitable stateside remake will be. J.K.

4

safety not guaranteed Rated R • Call 44-CREST for times

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Bernie

A mortician in a small Texas town (Jack Black) befriends a rich, cantankerous old widow (Shirley MacLaine); soon they’re taking trips all over the world on her dime. Director Richard Linklater and co-writer Skip Hollandsworth (adapting Hollandsworth’s magazine article) recount the true story of Bernhardt Tiede, currently serving a life sentence for the murder of wealthy Marjorie Nugent. The movie adopts the style of a Dateline NBC true-crime feature, mixing dramatization and interviews with local townspeople (some of whom are the real McCoy). We’re probably not getting the whole story—we’re left with a clear impression that Tiede did the world a favor by blowing the old battle-ax away—but the movie is wry and stranger-than-fiction quirky, and Black gives the performance of his career (so far). J.L.

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the true story

Rated R • Call 44-CREST for times

Our 16th president goes to war in 1861, not to preserve the Union or abolish slavery, but to conquer an army of vampires, one of whom murdered his mother; only a last-minute shipment of silver bullets to Gettysburg saves the war. Director Timur Bekmambetov and writer Seth Grahame-Smith (adapting his own novel) achieve the near impossible: They concoct a movie that’s even more stupid than it sounds. The movie trivializes and insults history—but it’s only entertainment, right? No, it’s not entertainment; it’s garbage. Performances don’t help: Benjamin Walker, cute as a button, is ludicrously miscast as Lincoln, and looks like he knows it. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, equally miscast as his wife, at least provides amusement with the one hilariously awful line: “Abraham! We’ll be late for the theater!” J.L.

4

war of the worlds:

Show timeS valid July 6 – 12, 2012

by JONATHAN KIEFER & JIM LANE

Men in Black III

An alien criminal (Jemaine Clement) escapes from prison, goes back in time, and kills the Man in Black who sent him up: Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones). This leaves K’s partner J (Will Smith) the only person in the present who remembers him (the reason is foggy but never mind—if he didn’t, there’d be no movie), so J travels back to 1969 to work with K’s younger self (Josh Brolin) to prevent the murder—and by the way, also to save the world. Written by Etan Cohen and directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, this second sequel to the 1997 smash is a vast improvement over the first one, and may even be better than the original. The story is fast and funny (with a sweet and surprising twist at the end), the pacing sharp, and Brolin does a bang-up

BEFORE

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To Rome With Love: Don’t be fooled They’re not the stars. Rome is.

3

To Rome With Love

Continuing briskly along his sightseeing tour of European capitals, Woody Allen brings the perpetual shtick to the Eternal City. When in Rome, his cast includes himself, Judy Davis, Alison Pill, Penélope Cruz, Roberto Benigni, Alec Baldwin, Jesse Eisenberg, Greta Gerwig, Ellen Page and opera singer Fabio Armiliato, among others, and comfort levels vary widely. Allen’s four lazily interwoven tales of temptation and wistful fantasy suffer from false starts and loose ends, not to mention meager ideas and misfired jokes, but maybe there’s some liberation in lacking both the focus of Midnight in Paris and the will to live up to its success. At times this movie even seems vaguely demented, as if a test to determine whether we’ll all just stand politely by as Allen finally descends, doddering, into the void. At other times, though, it is invitingly dreamy. This is Fellini country, after all. J.K. impression of Jones. The only drawback is the dim (and superfluous) 3-D. J.L.

4

Moonrise Kingdom

In Wes Anderson’s new movie, co-written with Roman Coppola, a 1960s New England town suffers mild upheaval when a sensitive Boy Scout (Jared Gilman) runs away with the girl he loves (Kara Hayward).

Anderson still knows better than anybody how to survey the cusp of adolescence with all the existential angst of a midlife crisis, and, for relief’s sake, to salt his findings with droll irony. He revels in bric-a-brac production design, eloquent riffs on stagings from his earlier films, and a tendency to arrange his stars—Bob Balaban, Harvey Keitel, Bill Murray, Frances McDormand, Edward Norton, Jason Schwartzman, Tilda Swinton, Bruce Willis—in handsome tableaux. But there’s also a welcome new allowance of naturalness, particularly in landscape and weather. The filmmaker’s typically tasteful musical affinities lean here toward English composers especially; sometimes it seems like he could’ve just done a video for the entirety of Benjamin Britten’s A Ceremony of Carols. Which, of course, would be fantastic. J.K.

2

Prometheus

With Alien, in 1979, director Ridley Scott, more or less invented the modern sci-fi horror genre; now he’s warmed it over with this prequel for no apparent reason other than the privilege of stealing back his own fire. Scott’s reclamation, expectedly engorged with pomposity and meticulous production values, also includes a few people or approximations thereof, most notably Noomi Rapace as a researcher investigating humanity’s otherworld origins, and Michael Fassbender as an inscrutable android.

Gory freakouts ensue, and Scott manages a technically impressive equilibrium between the sleekly gadgety and the grotesquely suppurating, but so what? Before long, it’s hard to tell between specific familiar franchise bits and general genre clichés, or to want to. Screenwriters Jon Spaihts and Damon Lindelof somehow turn a surplus of exposition into a shortage of clarity.

There’s a lot of spelling out of what still amounts to muddled nonsense. J.K.

3

Rock of Ages

An Oklahoma girl (Julianne Hough) in 1987 Hollywood hopes to make it as a singer but ends up working in a club on the Sunset Strip and falling for an aspiring rocker (Diego Boneta). The movie version of the hit Broadway jukebox musical surrounds these appealing youngsters with stars (Alec Baldwin, Paul Giamatti, Russell Brand, Catherine ZetaJones, Tom Cruise, Mary J. Blige) and flashy retro-rock musical numbers, staged with electric glitz by director Adam Shankman and choreographer Mia Michaels. The story is stretched too thin for too long, and an added

FRONTLINES

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FEATURE

subplot with Zeta-Jones as the mayor’s wife out to clean up the Strip does little more than let her in on the fun. Cruise (as an Axl Rose-ish rock star) and Blige (as a strip-club owner) give the best performances, and the driving beat keeps toes tapping. J.L.

4

Safety Not Guaranteed

3

Seeking a Friend for the End of the World

3

Your Sister’s Sister

A Seattle magazine writer (Jake M. Johnson) and his two interns (Aubrey Plaza, Karan Soni) investigate a mysterious loner (Mark Duplass) who has placed a want ad seeking a partner in a time-travel experiment (“Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed.”). In the process, one of the interns (Plaza) finds herself drawn to the man, and begins to think he may not be such a crackpot after all.

Written by Derek Connolly and directed with deadpan wryness by Colin Trevorrow, the movie has a kind of standard Sundance Channel roughness in its look and style, but otherwise it’s hard to pin down: Rom-com? Sci-fi? Satire? Ultimately, it seems hardly to matter, because the movie fairly bulges with quirky hangdog charm—virtually a four-character movie, with Plaza and Duplass meshing particularly well. J.L.

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Crest Box Office – (916) 442–5189 Tickets.com – (800) 225–2277

As an asteroid approaches to destroy the world, a man named Dodge (Steve Carell) and Penny, a neighbor he barely knows (Keira Knightley) set off on a quest to find Dodge’s long-lost sweetheart—and other things they never expected. Writer-director Lorene Scafaria sets up and end-of-days romantic dramedy as Dodge and Penny trek cross-country meeting an odd lot of characters. But the movie runs into trouble because a crucial, intangible ingredient is missing: chemistry between Dodge and Penny—or more to the point, between Carell and Knightley. Nobody’s really to blame; it’s chemistry, and sometimes the magic just doesn’t work. J.L.

A drunken one-night stand between a man (Mark Duplass) and the lesbian sister (Rosemarie DeWitt) of his best friend (Emily Blunt) leads to unexpected complications when the sister turns out not to have been too drunk for selfish conniving. Director Lynn Shelton gets a writing credit as well, but in fact all four speaking actors (the other is Mike Birbiglia in a small but key bit in the first scene) get “creative consultants” credit—meaning their dialogue was entirely improvised within Shelton’s basic framework. The framework may be contrived and mechanical, and some of the perceptions we get may have been unintended, but there are pleasures in improv when the players are as sharp and canny as they are here.

Shelton planted this garden patch and tended it while it grew, and that’s a kind of writing, too. J.L.

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Jackin’ the conscious-rap box

BEFORE

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FRONTLINES

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A BIKE RIDE

2 BEAT CANCER 8am sign in silent auction & raffle after race

blackbird.

kitchen dance party come party with da’ chefs

The album is a rhyme fest that runs a 360-degree gamut from socially aware to poetically pornographic.

As for the release party, the Tribe is keeping the lineup a secret. What we do know is the show starts Tuesday night, July 10, at 9 p.m., costs $10, and promises to be one of the top Sacto hip-hop nights this year. Ω

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Somewhere between De La Soul and Kendrick Lamar, two-time SN&R Sammie-award winners Tribe of Levi help redefine conscious rap with Follow My Lead. Lyricists Poor, Now Or Never, and Mic Jordan team with super producer Lee Bannon, Akili Beats, El Conductor, Rated R, and Mike Colossal to take listeners down a new side street of hip-hop, where topics vary from the cultural significance of Ice Cube’s departure from NWA to alien conspiracies in the course of a few songs.

Follow My Lead manages to reminisce without being tired, to be contemplative without being preachy. The crew’s first full-length also proves its versatility and silences critics who would put them in the “conscious rap” box.

The 11 songs also serve as the crew’s launchpad to the national and international hip-hop scenes, as the back-to-back rap champions of Sac look to take the city on tour with them.

The first single, “Things to Do” is a feelgood homage to Sacto and boasts a beast of a feature from fellow the People’s Revolution emcee Bru Lei. The video for “Things to Do” has already received more than 6,500 views on YouTube, mostly through support locally, and the album doesn’t even drop officially until the release party this week at Harlow’s.

Tribe of Levi’s album-release gig goes down this Tuesday, July 10, at 9 p.m.; $10; 21 and over. Harlow’s, 2708 J Street; www.tribeof levi916.com.

Tribe hopes to cultivate more of this kind of Sacto support with the new release on its way outside of Sac. “If you like it and support it, tell a friend. We’re old-school like that,” explained Mic Jordan, “We believe word-ofmouth is still the best form of marketing.”

Over the years, the combination of intelligent, edgy lyricism and an old-school work ethic has propelled Tribe of Levi to stages with Nas, KRS-One, and Dead Prez, as well as multiple appearances at the South by Southwest Music Festival in Austin, Texas. Last year, the group was handpicked by famed Los Angeles rapper and producer Blu to be featured on his self-produced album Open.

All before officially releasing its first full-length project.

The city is buzzing in anticipation of the Levites’ debut release. And for good reason.

While there is a tangible throwback feel to Follow My Lead, there is also a certain undercurrent of experimentation and invention.

The album is a rhyme fest that runs a 360-degree gamut from socially aware to poetically pornographic. At one point, Mic Jordan even raps in French.

A comparatively short album at just under 40 minutes, with only one special feature, it’s also a no-frills, raw underground hip-hop record for fans of lyricism, perfect for your next light-rail ride. And the debut is not the last we’ll be hearing from Tribe of Levi in the coming months. The album-release gig will be followed later this year by solo projects from all three members.

D EV E

Follow My Lead is not only the title of Tribe of Levi’s debut album, it is also a call to action from the veteran rap crew. The album artwork, done by Andrew Bell by local legend Shaun Burner, depicts the three emcees fleeing a city on fire and leading others out behind them. When asked where the destination is, the crew simply responds: “Out.” It’s a very Zen answer, but it makes sense.

SIG

Sacramento’s Tribe of Levi drops long-awaited debut

A RT S & C U LT U R E

•Thursday 7/5 •10pm - 1am •DJ Whores & Shaun Slaughter

mixing in the kitchen

•FREE FOOD

1015 9th Street | Sac 916.498.9224 blackbird-kitchen.com |

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EIGHT GIGS

05THURS 06FRI 06FRI 07SAT

In the ’60s, Arkansas-born musician Oliver Lake founded the Black Musicians Group, but the renowned alto sax player’s artistic scope and influence reaches even wider.

Lake was also part of the seminal 1970s-era New York loft scene, co-founded World Saxophone Quartet and is widely renowned for his collaborative work with the artists such as Wadada Leo Smith, James Blood Uhner and Meshell Ndegeocello. Still on the fence about checking him out?

JAZZ Lake, the recipient of both a Guggenheim Fellowship and a Melon Jazz Living Legacy Award, is making this Sacramento show his only West Coast event—a hint that it could be phenomenal, 2114 P Street, www.oliverlake.net.

Davis Art Center, 7:07 p.m., $7-$21

Ace of Spades, 8 p.m., $10-$12

Veterans Memorial Theatre, 8 p.m., $17-$20

Antiquite Maison Priveé, 8:30 p.m., $15-$20

Seven-string celebration

Lite Brite

Ben Sollee

Oliver Lake

Beb Sollee is somewhere between chamber pop and a folky singer-songwriter. The classically trained cellist got his big break joining Sparrow Quartet in 2005. The combo—featuring bluegrass icon Béla FOLK POP Fleck—increased Sollee’s profile and gave him a running start on a solo career. Since 2008, he’s released a pair of studio EPs and albums and collaborated with fellow Kentucky native Daniel Martin Moore on the project Dear Companion. All his efforts blend a roots undercurrent with a jazzy pop sophistication well-suited to the NPR set. Yet he’s far from starched with a keening tenor just short of plaintive and a gentle unaffected manner. 203 E. 14th Street in Davis, www.bensollee.com.

Lite Brite rocked a Friday Night Concerts in the Park show alongside its friends Middle Class Rut in May. Now the trio is anticipating its next performance—a CD-release show for the group’s self-titled second album. Drummer and vocalist Matt Underwood says the guys just “can’t decide on titles” when it comes to a new album, so they chose keep it simple. Simple like Lite Brite’s music: no fancy foot pedals, no bells or whistles, just rock ’n’ ROCK roll with drums, Eddie Underwood on guitar and vocals and Bob Lander on his trusty bass. Musical Charis and Simpl3jack open the show. 1417 R Street, http://litebriteband.com.

—Steph Rodriguez

The seven-string guitar dates back hundreds of years. These days it’s used in traditional Russian and Brazilian music, though metal and math-rock bands have also been known to use an occasional seven-stringer. Steve Vai, Slayer and Deftones all FESTIVAL use the instrument to give their songs a less-standard jazzier sound.

This year at the annual 7/7 festival, all artists will play seven-string acoustic guitars, incorporating elements of classical and jazz, all with experimental chord progressions.

Sacramento City College instructor Matthew Grasso headlines. Opener Giacomo Fiore (pictured) has a knack for impressively fast acoustic finger-picking compositions. 1919 F Street in Davis, www.davisartcenter.org.

—Aaron Carnes

—Chris Parker

—Rachel Leibrock

CELEBRATING OUR 20TH ANNIVERSARY ALL YEAR LONG!

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JULY 6 & 7

2 FOR 1 ADMISSION!! (WITH THIS AD)

fri july 6 7pm $12

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r&b & Cult ClassiCs sat july 7 7pm $12

joel the band

sat july 7 10pm

fIRST DIRT

albuM release sHoW

tue july 10 9pm

book of levi cd release show fri july 13 10pm $10

Hot rain WitH Guest JbooG

sat july 14 10pm $12

MIDNIGHT PLAYERS r&b and motown mon july 16

torn aCl’S with be brave bold robot & honeyock

wed july 18 8pm $28

Steve kimoCk

thur july 19 6:30pm $37

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thu july 19 8:30pm sizzlinG sirens Present

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MoDERN ENGLISH “I MELT WITH YOU!”

Coming Soon July 21 July 25 July 27&28 July 29 Aug 2 Aug 1 Aug 8 Aug 10 Aug 13 Aug 15 Aug 16 Aug 17 Aug 18 Aug 19 Aug 22 Aug 24 Aug 24 Aug 25 Aug 28 Aug 31 sept 1 sept 5 sept 13 oct 17

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Dress CoDe enforCeD (Jeans are oK) • Call to reserve Dinner & Club tables

2708 J Street • Sacramento • 916.441.4693 • www.harlows.com 40

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acouSti FrI 7/6

FRIDAY 7/5 - SATURDAY 7/6 FROM COMEDY CENTRAL, MTV AND “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER”

conFlict mineralS cd releaSe // 9:30pm // $7

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WEDNESDAY 7/11

NEW FACES SHOWCASE OPEN MIC!

FREE ADMISSION WITH THIS AD!

THURSDAY 7/12 - SUNDAY 7/15

#1 COMEDY ALBUM ON ITUNES!

JOEY “COCO” DIAZ

THURSDAY 7/19 - SATURDAY 7/21 FROM CURB YOUR ENTHUSIAM, ‘TIL DEATH AND HALL PASS!

TUES 7/10

dirt nap band happy hour

americana // bluegraSS // 5:30pm // Free

J.B. SMOOVE

mic acouStic open 8pm // Free

KABIR SINGH, MARCELLA ARGUELLO

talent ShowcaSe //

THURSDAY 7/26 - SUNDAY 7/29

wEd 7/11

FROM THE KINGS OF COMEDY AND DEF COMEDY JAM!

lucKy laSKowSKi

GUY TORRY

americana // 9pm // $3

SPECIAL EVENT, NO PASSES

THURSDAY 8/2 - SUNDAY 8/5 FROM SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE AND NIGHT AT THE ROXBURY!

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PLUS SPECIAL GUEST FELICIA MICHAELS! SHAUN LATHAM

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ticKetS now on Sale For these upcoming shows at www.marilynsonk.com $3

UPCOMING EVENTS: hot buttered rum good gravy, grahame lesh

TallbOy Pbr

908 K Street // 916.446.4361

++Free parking aFter 6pm with validation @ 10th & l garage+

12THURS 12THURS

07SAT 11WED Deep Time

Roy Zimmerman

Fox & Goose, 8 p.m., no cover

Cal Expo, 8 p.m., $10-$13

Most musicians understand that the naming process can be arduous. It’s even worse when you develop and promote that name—which probably took a lot of back-and-forth sessions INDIE POP to come up with—just to have its legality come into question. This is exactly what happened to Jennifer Moore and Adam Jones, who originally named their project Yellow Fever before they were forced to change it. Their new name, Deep Time, seems to be legally kosher. Their latest album is a self-titled debut on Hardly Art Records. So was their last album as Yellow Fever.

2030 P Street, www.deeptimezone.com .

If Bob Dylan’s real name is Robert Zimmerman, Roy might just be his long-lost brother. While Dylan mainly sings serious folk, Zimmerman performs more in the vein of Phil Ochs, but with the deeply in-character and satirical flair of comedian (and sometimes singer) Stephen Colbert. Watching a Zimmerman perCOMEDIC FOLK formance will entertain for hours at the expense of everyone in the Republican party. Zimmerman’s self-described left-leaning comedic folk is simultaneously funny and brilliant. His current Vote Republican tour aims to hit all 50 states before the Republican National Convention in August. 594 Main Street in Placerville, www.royzimmerman.com.

Telemetry

The Fab Four

The Press Club, 8:30 p.m., $5

Cozmic Café, 8 p.m., $18

With one full-length release and an EP under its belt and its next project currently in the works, Telemetry is starting to hit ROCK its stride. Stylistically, the group morphed from a power-pop and rock band into a group that combines post-rock, folk, electronica and straight-ahead rock with flourishes of jazz and classical guitar. On its most recent release, Awaking From Temptation, Ian Rasmussen’s vocals are often more passionate than pitch-perfect, but any shortcomings are made up for with striking musical interludes (“Awaking”), explosions of melodic riffs and chords (“Lost Love”) and great progressions (“Feel Yourself Awake”). 1001 R Street, www.telemetryband.com.

I wasn’t really a fan of cover bands until I saw the Fab Four at the California State Fair 10 years ago. Sure, at the time, I was the president of my high school’s Beatles Fan Club. But even if I wasn’t a Beatles nerd, I would’ve still been impressed. The group played an entire Abbey Road medley live; a feat that involved running around the stage to grab different instruments and using keyboard synths to perform the rest—strings, horns CLASSIC ROCK and all. Five years later at the fair, the quartet rocked so hard that several girls flashed their chests and threw their knickers onstage. 1600 Exposition Boulevard, www.thefabfour.com.

—John Phillips

—Jonathan Mendick

—Jonathan Mendick

—Brian Palmer

ACE OF SPADES

1417 R Street, Sacramento, 95814 www.aceofspadessac.com

ALL AGES WELCOME!

COMING

SATURDAY, JULY 14

THURSDAY, JULY 5

THE JACKA & HUSALAH

THE

CASUALTIES &

GAUDY BOYZ & A-MAD-G

NEKROMANTIX DOWN BY LAW - LOWER CLASS BRATS THE SHEDS - AVENUE SAINTS

SUNDAY, JULY 15

NIPSEY HUSSLE

FRIDAY, JULY 6

CLYDE CARSON - MACARTHER - NOAH - TORREY TEE

LITE BRITE

TUESDAY, JULY 17

MUSICAL CHARIS - STUCK - THE HUNGRY SIMPL3JACK THE TREES

REVEREND HORTON HEAT

SATURDAY, JULY 7

SUPERSUCKERS - GODDAMN GALLOWS

FALLRISE

THURSDAY, JULY 19

TALLBOY - CHERNOBOG MALCOM BLISS GEARS TURN - REPRESA

TALIB KWELI PLUS SPECIAL GUESTS FRIDAY, JULY 20

FRIDAY, JULY 13

WHITE MINORITIES

TOO $HORT

SOME FEAR NONE - ICONOCLAST ROBOT - HEADLINES ANIMISM

SMOOV-E - OKWERDZ - FIRST DEGREE THE DE - QUETTE DADDIE - RAE ROCK - OPTIMISTIC & LIL MEEK - LIQ

SOON

7/21 7/23 7/24 7/25 7/26 7/27 7/28 7/29 7/31 8/3 8/4 8/6 8/7 8/17 8/18 8/19 8/21 8/24 8/25 9/2 9/4 9/5 9/6 9/8 9/11 9/14 9/24 9/27 10/10 10/11 10/13

Moonshine Bandits Pepper Relient K Pacific Dub & Katastro Launch X Cut & Paste Demon Hunter J Diggs Attack Attack!

Kottonmouth Kings Y&T Super Diamond The Word Alive Lostprophets Great White Stepchild Strung Out Chiddy Bang Gift of Gab Full Blown Stone The Melvins David Allen Coe Powerman 5000 Buckethead Rehab The Fresh & Onlys Anthrax/Testament Kreator Hatebreed Steve Vai D.R.I Morbid Angel

Tickets available at all Dimple Records Locations, The Beat Records, and Armadillo Records, or purchase by phone @ 916.443.9202 BEFORE

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NIGHTBEAT List your event!

Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo, and a link to your website. Go to www.newsreview.com/calendar and start posting events. Deadline for print listings is 10 days prior to the issue in which you wish the listing to appear.

THURSDAY 7/5

FRIDAY 7/6

SATURDAY 7/7

SUNDAY 7/8

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 7/9-7/11

BADLANDS

2003 K St., (916) 448-8790

Tipsy Thursdays, Top 40 deejay dancing, 9pm, call for cover

Fabulous and Gay Fridays, 9pm, call for cover

Saturday Boom, 9pm, call for cover

Sin Sunday, 8pm, call for cover

Mad Mondays, M; Latin video flair and Wii bowling, 7pm Tu

BLUE LAMP

The Session, 9pm, $5

THE BOARDWALK

LACE LENO, HENNESSY, RICHARD THE

1400 Alhambra, (916) 455-3400

DESEPTIKONS, PSYCHOSOMATIC, SANS SOBRIETY; 8pm, $7

BOWS AND ARROWS CAPITOL GARAGE THE CAVE

PREPARE THE BRIDE, LOVE IS OVER, SUFFIX PUNCH; 8pm, $5

3512 Stockton Blvd., (916) 317-9999

TOMMY CASTRO BAND, 8pm, $20-$25

CLUB 21

Salsa Fridays, 9pm, $5

314 W. Main St., Grass Valley; (530) 274-8384

Latin music and Top 40, 9pm, $7

Open-mic, 7:30pm, no cover

JONNY MOJO, 8pm, $8

ROY ZIMMERMAN, 8pm, $18

DISTRICT 30

1016 K St., (916) 737-5770

DYLOOT, JOHN BEAVER; 9pm, call for cover

DJ Danny Mijangos, DJ Kristo; 9 pm, call for cover

DJ Eddie Edul, 9pm, call for cover

FACES

Deejay dancing and karaoke, 9pm, $3

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

Hip-hop and Top 40 Deejay dancing, 9pm, $5-$10

FOX & GOOSE

JUSTIN BROWN, VIRTUAL CAMPFIRE; 8-11pm, no cover

EMILY KOLLARS, KILO & PEPPER, THE SIGNIFIERS; 9pm-midnight, $5

DAVID HOUSTON, MOONDROOL, MOETAR; 9pm, $5

Dj Smilez, 10pm-1:15am, no cover

STREET URCHINZ, EL LOMA PRIETA, SPACE MONKEY GANGSTAS; 10pm

DJ Crook One, 10pm, call for cover

DJ Whores, 10pm, no cover

DEAN-O-HOLICS, 10pm, $10

JOEL: THE BAND, 7pm, $12; TIMOTHY RHYME, ADDICT MERCHANTS; 10pm ANGRY SAMOANS, BOATS!, CAPITAL BASTARD; 8:30pm, $12

G STREET WUNDERBAR 228 G St., Davis; (530) 756-9227

THE GOLDEN BEAR

2326 K St., (916) 441-2252

DJ Shaun Slaughter, 10pm, call for cover

HARLOW’S

2708 J St., (916) 441-4693

JAVALOUNGE

2416 16th St., (916) 441-3945

AUSTIN MORRELL & THE ALCHEMISTS, BLUE OAKS, DR. VELOCITY; 8pm, $5

ARDELLAS CROWN, TUESDAY NIGHTS, METAMANTRA; 8pm, $6

LEVEL UP FOOD & LOUNGE

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DJ Rock Bottom and The Mookie DJ, 9pm, no cover

LUNA’S CAFÉ & JUICE BAR

Joe Montoya’s Poetry Unplugged, 8pm, $2

MARILYN’S ON K

“Rock On” Live Band Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

2431 J St., (916) 448-8768

1414 16th St., (916) 441-3931 908 K St., (916) 446-4361

Margaret Mann book signing, 5pm Tu, no cover; Nerd Night, 7pm W, no cover Geeks Who Drink pub quiz, 8:30pm W, no cover

Battle of the Bands, 7pm, $5

THE COZMIC CAFÉ

1001 R St., (916) 443-8825

DIZZY WRIGHT, BOSS BIZ, PREF1X, MARK SNIPES, J.SIRUS; 8pm W, $15-$20

Comedy open-mic hosted by Ngaio Bealum, 7pm, $3

CENTER FOR THE ARTS

2000 K St., (916) 448-7798

SNAKES N CIDER, BLOOD SKY, MADI & CICI, BATCHILD; 4:30pm, $10-$12

Papasotes’s Karaoke Explosion, 9pm, no cover

Champion Sound Reggae, 10pm, $5

1500 K St., (916) 444-3633

594 Main St., Placerville; (530) 642-8481

Want to be a hot show?

Mail photos to Calendar Editor, SN&R, 1124 Del Paso Blvd., Sacramento, CA 95815 or email it to sactocalendar@ newsreview.com. Be sure to include date, time, location and cost of upcoming shows.

BLOODY ROOTS, THE ECLECTIC, DOWNSHIFT, EXTIRPATE, NO SYMPATHY; 8pm AARON ROSS, KEVIN FLORENCE, WALKING IN SUNLIGHT; 8pm, $5

1815 19 St., (916) 822-5668

1119 21st St., (916) 443-1537

Hey local bands!

MR. ROGERS, MACK SPENCE, HIGHWAY

9426 Greenback Ln., Orangevale; (916) 988-9247 ROCKSTAR, LIL BAT, KALI STREETZ; 8pm, 12, LONELY AVENUE; 8pm, $10-$12

BOB WAYNE & THE OUTLAW CARNIES, HOT TAR ROOFERS; 8:30pm W, $8-$10

DJ Elements, 9pm W, call for cover Dragalicious, 9pm, $5

Queer Idol, 9pm M, no cover; Latin night, 9pm Tu, $5; DJ Alazzawi, 9pm W, $3 Open-mic, 7:30pm M; Pub Quiz, 7pm Tu; STEVE MCLANE, 8pm W, no cover

Industry Night, 9pm, call for cover TRIBE OF LEVI, CENTURY GOT BARS, BRU LEI; 9pm Tu, $10 SAN FRANCESCA, 8pm, $5 Hip-hop and R&B deejay dancing, 9:16pm Tu, no cover

OLLA, 9pm, $6 CONFLICT MINERALS, 9:30pm, $7

Big Band Swing DJ, 8-11pm Tu, $6; Top 40, R&B, House, 10pm W, $7

Nebraska Mondays, 7:30pm M, $5-$20; Comedy night, 8pm W, $6

OLD SCREEN DOOR, EGG, SILHOUETTE OF MIRRORS, AWKWARD LEMON; 8pm

JULY 6 FULL BLOWN STONE

DOGFOOD, STREET URCHINZ, DJ NATE D FEATURING INKDUP ON DRUMS

JULY 13 another damn disappointment THE WALKING DEAD, A SINGLE SECOND, THE LEFT HAND, DJ BLACKHEART

JULY 20 WALKING SPANISH JACK AND WHITE, AUTUMN SKY, DJ CROOKONE

JULY 27 season finale! WITH THE BRODYS wrings, HERO’S LAST MISSION, CHAOTIC FUSION

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scan the code with your smart phone to meet the bands!

THURSDAY 7/5

FRIDAY 7/6

SATURDAY 7/7

SUNDAY 7/8

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY 7/9-7/11

NAKED LOUNGE DOWNTOWN 1111 H St., (916) 443-1927

DEAD WESTERN, BROKEN RODEO, ALLEN MAXWELL; 8:30pm, $5

THE BELL BOYS, FRIENDSHIP, BOUND; 8:30pm, $5

JAY SHANER, ERIK HANSON, JOHN CONLEY; 8:30pm, $5

JORDAN WEEKS, ADAM HOWARD, THE REPAIR; 8:30pm, $5

Jazz session, 8:30pm M; ONE-EYED REILLY, 8:30pm Tu; HATAMIYA, 8:30pm W

OLD IRONSIDES

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

JAMES CAVERN, THE RICKY JAMES PROJECT; 9pm, $5

Lipstick Weekender, 9:30pm, $5

ON THE Y

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

MADISON AVENUE, BENEATH THE EMBERS, ADAM ROTH PROJECT; 8pm

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

Open-mic comedy, 10pm, no cover

DJ Eddie Edul, 9pm-2am, $15

DJ Peeti V, 9pm, call for cover

Asylum Downtown: Gothic, industrial, EBM dancing, 9pm, call for cover

1901 10th St., (916) 442-3504 670 Fulton Ave., (916) 487-3731

THE PARK ULTRA LOUNGE 1116 15th St., (916) 442-7222

Karaoke w/ Sac City Entertainment, 9pm Tu; Open-mic, 8:30pm W, no cover Karaoke, 9pm Tu, no cover

PARLARE EURO LOUNGE

Top 40, 9pm, no cover

Top 40, Mashups, 9pm, no cover

DJ Club mixes, 10pm, no cover

Top 40 dance mixes, 9pm W, no cover

PISTOL PETE’S

Karaoke, 9pm, no cover

DJ Rick Lopez, 9pm, $5

DJ Rick Lopez, 9pm, $5

Karaoke, 9pm W, no cover

POWERHOUSE PUB

DAVE RUSSELL, 9:30pm, call for cover

SUPERHUEY, 10pm, $10

SPAZMATICS, 10pm, $10

THE BAD CATZ, 3pm, call for cover

Country Karaoke, 9pm M; DJ Alazzawi, DJ Rigatony, 10pm Tu, $3

THE PRESS CLUB

MASTER SYSTEM, 9pm, no cover

Top 40 w/ DJ Rue, 9pm, $5

Top 40 Night w/ DJ Larry Rodriguez, 9pm, $5

Sunday Night Soul Party, 9pm, $5

HORSE THIEF, 8:30pm M, $5; G. GREEN, SPRAY PAINT, DEEP TIME; 8:30pm W, $5

SOL COLLECTIVE

Skratch Pad, 9pm, call for cover

The Sol Mercado and Kid’s Day, 1pm, no cover

Microphone Mondays, 6pm M, $1-$2

SOPHIA’S THAI KITCHEN

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Lab adore Medical-cannabis outfit’s risk-taking leads to patients refusing untested pot Steep Hill Lab is at the center of cannabis testing in California and is now recognized as a world leader in medicalmarijuana research. Its current location in Oakland is by David Downs shiny, clean and huge with room to grow in a large, gated one-story office space near the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum. It’s a long way from the dog-hairridden, one-bedroom Emeryville apartment where Steep Hill started in 2008.

Thought to be the first of its kind, the marijuanatesting project was launched by David Lampach, a young, self-taught grower, and Addison DeMoura, a fellow cannabis-science enthusiast. The two convinced Stephen DeAngelo to personally invest in what would be called Analytical Laboratories.

DeAngelo, a 54-year-old Washington, D.C., native, believes that if cannabis is medicine—as it is by law in California—it should be tested like any other medicine.

The Dutch had already published a method for using a gas chromatograph to assess cannabis’ potency.

Lampach and DeMoura adapted it and began sampling weed. The process involves making an extract from a sample of the strain in question, say, a couple pounds of primo OG Kush. Flowers are picked, ground, agitated in a solvent and an extract is fed to the gas chromatograph.

The process can take three days.

Many of California’s Analytical Labs also began conducting tests for mold and estimated 1 million bacteria, which take a week.

By spring 2009, numbers cannabis patients were appearing next to the refuse to buy display buds at a Northern untested weed. California dispensary: “23 [percent] THC .01 [percent] CBD,” a sample might read.

Delta-9-Tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC for short, was among the first molecules found in pot to affect the nervous system, and it’s commonly thought to cause pot’s euphoric effects.

Skeptics questioned Analytical Labs’ in-house methodology and credentials, yet the lab added other dispensaries as customers. One of the few economicgrowth industries during the height of the recession, dispensaries bloomed in 2009, and so did labs. The Green Rush was on.

By the summer of 2010, High Times magazine had tapped DeMoura and Lampach to test herb for the magazine’s first San Francisco Medical Cannabis Cup. A This is an excerpt from a longer David number of new local competitors entered the market as Downs feature story, well, including CW Analytical and Pure Analytics, and, titled “Turning Pot later, Halent Laboratories in Davis. into Medicine,” And now, many of California’s estimated which can be read at www.eastbay 1 million qualified cannabis patients refuse to buy express.com. untested weed. Ω

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by ROB BREZSNY

FOR THE WEEK OF JULY 5, 2012

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Members of

the Nevada Republican Party have concocted a bizarre version of family values. A large majority of them are opposed to gay marriage and yet are all in favor of legal brothels. Their wacky approach to morality is as weird as that of the family values crowd in Texas, which thinks it’s wrong to teach adolescents about birth control even though this has led to a high rate of teen pregnancies. My question is, why do we let people with screwed-up priorities claim to be the prime caretakers of “family values”?

In accordance with the astrological omens, I urge you to reject the conventional wisdom as you clarify what that term means to you.

It’s an excellent time to deepen and strengthen your moral foundation.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): There’s a

term for people who have the ardor of a nymphomaniac in their efforts to gather useful information: infomaniac. That’s exactly what I think you should be in the coming week. You need data and evidence, and you need them in abundance. What you don’t know would definitely hurt you, so make sure you find out everything you need to know. Be as thorough as a spy, as relentless as a muckraking journalist and as curious as a child. P.S. See if you can set aside as many of your strong opinions and emotional biases as possible. Otherwise they might distort your quest for the raw truth. Your word of power is empirical.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Of all the

signs of the zodiac, you’re the best at discovering short cuts. No one is more talented than you at the art of avoiding boredom. And you could teach a master course in how to weasel out of strenuous work without looking like a weasel. None of those virtues will come in handy during the coming week, however. The way I see it, you should concentrate very hard on not skipping any steps. You should follow the rules, stick to the plan, and dedicate yourself to the basics. Finish what you start, please!

(Sorry about this grind-it-out advice. I’m just reporting what the planetary omens are telling me.)

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The epic

breadth of your imagination is legendary. Is there anyone else who can wander around the world without ever once leaving your home? Is there anyone else who can reincarnate twice in the span of few weeks without having to go through the hassle of actually dying? And yet now and then there do come times when your fantasies should be set aside so that you may soak up the teachings that flow your way when you physically venture outside of your comfort zone. Now is such a moment, my fellow Cancerian. Please don’t take a merely virtual break in the action. Get yourself away from it all, even if it’s only to the marvelous diversion or magic sanctuary on the other side of town.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): In Norse mythology,

Fenrir was a big bad wolf that the gods were eager to keep tied up. In the beginning, they tried to do it with metal chains, but the beast broke free. Then they commissioned the dwarves to weave a shackle out of six impossible things: a bear’s sinews, a bird’s spit, a fish’s breath, a mountain’s root, a woman’s beard and the sound a cat’s paws made as it walked. This magic fetter was no thicker than a silk ribbon, but it worked very well. Fenrir couldn’t escape from it. I invite you to take inspiration from this story, Leo. As you deal with your current dilemma, don’t try to fight strength with strength. Instead, use art, craft, subtlety and even trickery. I doubt you’ll need to gather as many as six impossible things. Three will probably be enough. Two might even work fine.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): This is a time

when your personal actions will have more power than usual to affect the world around you. The ripples you set in motion could ultimately touch people you don’t even know and transform situations you’re not part of. That’s a lot of responsibility! I suggest, therefore, that you be on your best behavior. Not necessarily your mildest, most polite behavior, mind you. Rather, be brave, impeccable, full of integrity and a little wild.

BEFORE

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LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Goldfish that

are confined in small aquariums stay small.

Those that spend their lives in ponds get much bigger. What can we conclude from these facts? The size and growth rate of goldfish are directly related to their environment. I’d like to suggest that a similar principle will apply to you Librans in the next 10 months. If you want to take maximum advantage of your potential, you will be wise to put yourself in spacious situations that encourage you to expand. For an extra boost, surround yourself with broadminded, uninhibited people who have worked hard to heal their wounds.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Over the

years, you’ve explored some pretty exotic, even strange ideas about what characterizes a good time. In the coming days, I’m guessing you will add to your colorful tradition with some rather unprecedented variations on the definition of “pleasure” and “happiness.” I don’t mean to imply that this is a problem. Not at all. To paraphrase the Wiccan credo, as long as it harms no one (including yourself), anything goes.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21):

There come times in your life when you have a sacred duty to be open to interesting tangents and creative diversions; times when it makes sense to wander around aimlessly with wonder in your eyes and be alert for unexpected clues that grab your attention. But this is not one of those times, in my opinion. Rather, you really do need to stay focused on what you promised yourself you would concentrate on. The temptation may be high to send out sprays of arrows at several different targets. But I hope that instead you stick to one target and take careful aim with your best shots.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’ve

been meditating on a certain need that you have been neglecting, Capricorn—a need that has been chronically underestimated, belittled or ignored by both you and others.

I am hoping that this achy longing will soon be receiving some of your smart attention and tender care. One good way to get the process started is simply to acknowledge its validity and importance. Doing so will reveal a secret that will help you attend to your special need with just the right touch.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Due to

the pressure-packed influences currently coming to bear on your destiny, you have Official Cosmic Permission to fling three dishes against the wall. (But no more than three.) If you so choose, you also have clearance to hurl rocks in the direction of heaven, throw darts at photos of your nemeses, and cram a coconut cream pie into your own face. Please understand, however, that taking actions like these should be just the initial phase of your master plan for the week. In the next phase, you should capitalize on all the energy you’ve made available for yourself through purgative acts like the ones I mentioned. Capitalize how? For starters, you could dream and scheme about how you will liberate yourself from things that make you angry and frustrated.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Check to see if you’re having any of the following symptoms: 1. sudden eruptions of gratitude; 2. a declining fascination with conflict; 3. seemingly irrational urges that lead you to interesting discoveries; 4. yearnings to peer more deeply into the eyes of people you care about; 5. a mounting inability to tolerate boring influences that resist transformation; 6. an increasing knack for recognizing and receiving the love that’s available to you. If you’re experiencing at least three of the six symptoms, you are certifiably in close alignment with the cosmic flow, and should keep doing what you’ve been doing. If none of these symptoms have been sweeping through you, get yourself adjusted.

You can call Rob Brezsny for your Expanded Weekly Horoscope: (900) 950-7700. $1.99 per minute. Must be 18 or older. Touchtone phone required. Customer service (612) 373-9785.

And don’t forget to check out Rob’s website at www.realastrology.com.

FRONTLINES

|

FEATURE

15 MINUTES

by KEL

MUNGER PHOTO BY BROWN W. CANNON III

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

Athleticism for everyone With a blog called Slow Fat Triathlete, you can’t help but be fascinated by Jayne Williams. She’s a writer, an athlete and member of the board of directors at Sacramento’s Capital Stage. Williams is the author of two books: Slow Fat Triathlete: Live Your Athletic Dreams in the Body You Have Now and Shape Up With the Slow Fat Triathlete: 50 Ways to Kick Butt on the Field, in the Pool or at the Gym—No Matter What Your Size and Shape. She’s also a firm believer in eating well and exercising because it will make you feel good, not because you want to lose weight.

Tell me about triathlons. Is that like the Ironman?

A triathlon is a bike ride, a swimming race and a run, all one right after the other.

Ironman is a fixed distance—a 2.4-mile swim, a 112-mile bike ride and a marathon to finish it out. Then there’s a Half Ironman—more attainable for regular people—and the international or Olympic triathlon. It’s a 1,500-meter swim, a 40-kilometer bike ride and a 10-kilometer run.

Then there are more accessible distance triathlons called the sprints. Some of those are as short as a 400-yard swim, a 10- or 12-mile bike ride and a 3-mile run/walk, and that is something that a lot of people can aspire to. That’s what I first aspired to when I got into it.

Have you always been a sporty, outdoorsy chick?

I was the tree-climbing, baseball-playing, climb-the-fence and walk-along-the-two-byfour sort of kid. I was also a total bookworm, which is sort of an odd mix. I was an adventure geek.

I was never skinny. I was always big.

When I look back at the pictures, I wasn’t a fat kid. I was kind of a big, round, substantial kid.

So if you’d been a boy, you’d have been a wrestler and a lineman.

Exactly! I would’ve been a lineman or a tight end. But because of the time and place and gender I was in, I was put on a diet. Then there’d be the cycle of losing it and gaining it back—yo-yo dieting. There were times when I’d use exercise as part of weight management.

Did that make you hate exercising?

No! I think that because I tried not to use exercise that way, pretty consciously, even at an early age, I didn’t link the two irrevocably in my mind. That’s one of the things I’ve written about: Do not make exercise a punishment for what you ate. Don’t think, “Oh, if I just spend 30 minutes on the treadmill, I can have a doughnut.”

STORY

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A RT S & C U LT U R E

It’s hard to avoid that mentality in our culture, and I’ve certainly gone through my years of “OK, I can have a cheeseburger because I rode 50 miles.” But that kind of accounting increases the stress and sucks all the joy out of being in your body.

And it doesn’t work. On my last weightloss kick, I was also doing triathlons at the time, and it just became harder and harder to lose weight, because of the things we’re now learning about metabolism and thrifty genes and everything that shifts in your body when you deprive it of nutrients.

But it’s one of the things I try to convey to people who maybe haven’t felt it as I have, or who were put down in childhood for being uncoordinated at sports: Moving is fun. You can enjoy it however you decide to do it. That’s a sort of inalienable physical right that we have, to enjoy moving in our own bodies.

Our attitudes about size, weight and fat keep people from doing that.

Right. We have to show people larger bodies, bodies of all shapes and sizes and ages, in action. When I was out doing my first triathlon, I was inspired because there were people of different sizes and ages: little kids and grandmas; lean, lanky types |

AFTER

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and fat people; short people and tall people. It helped me think, “Oh, I could do this.”

When you can model being a person of whatever size or shape you are out in the world, you’re doing a public service!

Fat women are conditioned not to look at their fat as contributing anything positive to them. But my mass will overcome wind resistance very effectively, so downhill on a bike, I can cruise past other people. And then on the uphill, they gradually gain on me. I can joke about it, and I think that helped to normalize it with them. They could be, “Oh, there’s a fat chick here, and she kicks my ass on the downhill and I kick her ass on the uphill.”

To me, if you take the fun out of it, why bother? They used to punish people in the 19th century in Britain by putting them on treadmills. I actually saw one in a jail museum in Wales.

I’m not saying there’s no place for machines and gyms. It’s all good. But it should be fun. It should not be punitive. Ω Read Jayne Williams’ blog at http://theslowfat triathlete.blogspot.com. Learn more on the Health at Every Size website at www.haescommunity.org.

07.05.12

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SN&R

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