15 minute read
Wedding day tipping guidelines
Vendors may be in the background during a wedding, but the roles they play are vital to making ceremonies and receptions memorable for couples and their guests. It's customary to tip wedding vendors who provide great service. The wedding experts at The Knot note that the following guidelines can help couples determine how much to tip the unsung heroes who make their weddings so memorable.
Photographer/ videographer
Photographers and videographers are unique among wedding vendors because their work will be looked at for decades to come. The Knot notes that it's not necessary to tip wedding photographers and videographers who own their own studios. Their fees are all the compensation they need. However, many photographers and videographers do not own their own studios, and the efforts of such professionals are worthy of a little something extra at the end of the night. The Knot notes that a tip between $50 and $200 is standard for these professionals, and that tip can be given at the end of the reception.
Reception staff
The reception staff works as hard as anyone during the wedding, and those efforts merit a good tip. Many reception venues include gratuities in their food and drink fees, and couples can check to see if they have already tipped staff and if they think the mandatory gratuity is suffi cient. A tip between 15 and 20 percent of the food and drink fee is standard. Maître d' fees also may be built into the wedding contract. If not, a tip between $200 and $300 is standard and can be delivered at the end of the night.
Band/DJ
Music features prominently at many wedding receptions. Bands and/or DJs can set the tone for a fun night couples and their guests will remember for years to come. Tipping musicians is optional, but it's the norm to do so when they provide exceptional service. Couples who have a band playing can tip between $25 and $35 per musician, while DJs generally receive a tip between $50 and $150.
Drivers
Many transportation fi rms also include gratuities in their contracts, so couples should check to see if they've already tipped limo or bus drivers before paying them a little extra. If the tip is not included and the drivers arrive on time and get guests to the wedding on time, then a tip that's between 15 and 20 percent of the total bill is standard.
Delivery personnel
Individuals who deliver items like cakes and fl owers are typically given a gratuity upon delivery. A tip between $5 and $10 per person is standard, though individuals who deliver items like tables, chairs and portable restroom facilities and then set those items up may be deserving of a little extra.
Offi ciants
or synagogue where the ceremony will take place are not typically given a gratuity. However, The Knot notes that a donation to the place of worship between $100 and $500 is standard. Couples who still want to give the offi ciant a little extra can tip between $50 and $100. Independent offi ciants who receive fees directly from the couple need not be tipped.
These fi gures can serve as guidelines, but couples also can give a little extra if they feel their vendors have gone above and beyond.
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The other side of the lens
Berkshire professionals give their perspective on getting the most from your photographer
BY KIMBERLY KIRCHNER Special Sections Editor
Photographers are wizards. Who else could trap a moment in time and contain it within the borders of a picture frame?
While the end result might look like magic, the reality is that photographers get their shots with a combination of skill, technology and intuition. The best photographers are those that understand their subjects’ individual personalities, the unique dynamics of each relationship, and let that guide their camera.
PHOTO COURTESY OF CHELSEA PROULX PHOTOGRAPHY
Photographer Chelsea Bordonaro advises clients to relax and let photo-worthy moments happen naturally, as in this 2021 socially distant wedding via laptop. " There's no better advice than, just have a good time," she said.
Of all the professionals responsible for putting a wedding together, photographers almost certainly have the most intimate relationship with their clients. Along with being physically close throughout the day, the photographer has to be in tune with each clients’ emotional state in order to capture the feelings behind each image. For that reason, the biggest step a couple can take towards getting spectacular photos is choosing a photographer who fi ts into their vision, not only on a stylistic level, but also a personal one.
“The number one thing I think people don't recognize about photography is that it's more than just the beautiful images that so many people can take,” said Casey Dawn Wright, owner of Casey Dawn Photography. “You have to really know that the personality of the person behind the camera is who you want beside you for a lot of really private moments.”
“I highly recommend sticking with whatever photographer makes you feel really comfortable. They’re a third wheel on the wedding day,” advised Chelsea Bordonaro of Chelsea Proulx Photography. “I can't even stress that enough. You just have to get along with your photographer. They’re the person with you all day long.” Building relationships
For many photographers, the engagement photo session is a vital step in forming the bond that will inform their work on the wedding day.
Photographer Tricia McCormack, owner of Tricia McCormack Photography, includes engagement sessions in all of her wedding packages. “I think that a lot of people might not realize the value of it, although I do try to explain it, to be able to get to know a couple,” she said. “We become friends in that engagement session, but also: Are they quiet together? Are they silly and goofy together? Are they private people? Then it's not awkward, because I'm not asking them to do things that aren't true to their personalities and their personality as a couple.”
Engagement shoots can be a valuable experience for couples, as well — especially if one or both partners are apprehensive about being photographed.
“I've heard people say, ‘We're just not photogenic and we're super awkward in front of the camera.’ I mean, we all feel that way. I feel that way. There's a rare few that don't feel that way,” McCormack said. “But I think that their real concern is, ‘We want these photos to be forever, and it means a lot to us, but we're just awkward people, and we're scared that we're gonna have 45 minutes and we're gonna screw it up.”
The engagement session is a much more private, much lower pressure opportunity to get comfortable being the subject of a photographer’s attention.
“We highly recommend that you go and do a more casual session, whether it's an engagement session, or an adventure session the week of your wedding — just something to give you an opportunity to get in front of my camera,” Bordonaro said. “I get to know them and how they interact with me and then they get a little bit of experience working with me before the day, so there's a little bit more comfort in working together on their wedding day, when there's just so much going on.”
The resulting photos can be a major confi dence booster, and tangible proof that they are not, in fact, totally unphotogenic. “Making it so you have some beautiful photos that you may have thought that you would totally bomb, that's really important,” Wright said. Letting go of 'perfect'
In the era of Instagram and Pinterest boards, it’s easy to worry as much (if not more) about how things will look in photographs as how they’ll look, feel, sound, smell and taste in the moment. But in most cases, trying to wrestle every tiny detail into perfection is both unproductive and, if you’ve hired a competent photographer, unnecessary.
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Wright said. “If you want to have your wedding in a cave, good. Am I a little uneasy with how easy that's going to be, sure. But it's your wedding, I’m a professional and I should have the equipment and the knowledge to capture it.”
Unpredictable weather, an ever-present concern in the Berkshires, is also no obstacle for an experienced photographer. “I joke around with clients and I say I'm part wedding photographer and part meteorologist,” McCormack said. In a recent post on her blog at triciamccormack.com, McCormack recounted a wedding from October 2021 that took place during a rainstorm.
The bride recently posted a fi ve star Google review declaring her happiness with how the photos turned out. “She was just so upset that it was just a downpour,” McCormack said. “And then she wrote [her review] and she was like, ‘The pictures are so good. I'm actually glad it rained.’”
The same philosophy applies to just about any unexpected turn of events, be they natural or man-made. “There's so many variables with people and weather,” Wright said. “That's why I'm like, just embrace it. Really just embrace whatever it is, because one of my favorite photos was [taken] in a downpour.”
Bordonaro warned against trying to manufacture “camera ready” moments. “Oftentimes you get these people who want to create a moment rather than letting a moment happen for you,” she said. “I would say don't change the way we do our job by staging the moment. Let us capture the moments that are actually truly happening, because that may look different than what your friend's pictures look like from their wedding day.”
When it comes to musthave shots, Bordonaro makes sure she knows what to watch out for by asking couples to fi ll out an extensive question-
PHOTOS COURTESY OF TRICIA MCCORMACK PHOTOGRAPHY
"I have found that even on the rainiest days you can always fi nd a little break in the downpour and we did," photographer Tricia McCormack wrote of this October 2021 wedding at Gedney Farm in New Marlboro.
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PHOTO COURTESY OF CASEY DAWN PHOTOGRAPHY
“The number one thing I think people don't recognize about photography is that it's more than just the beautiful images that so many people can take,” Casey Dawn Wright said of choosing the right photographer. “You have to really know that the personality of the person behind the camera is who you want beside you for a lot of really private moments.”
naire “Tell me about your family. What do I need to know? Who doesn’t like who, is there something going on and if someone needs extra accessibility … all the nitty gritty information that hopefully will help me photograph the day better.”
From there, it comes down to trust. “I always tell my clients that when I am with you on your day, we will have had multiple contact points, multiple phone calls, so that on that day, I know exactly what your vision is, what pictures you're looking for, who are the most important people, the moments and the details to look for,” McCormack said. “So on that day, you're not thinking to yourself, ‘Is she getting this?’ … I've done the digging to fi nd out that information. I really love the fact that the couple thinks, ‘She's got this and we don't have to worry about a thing.’”
Letting go and simply enjoying the day as it happens can ultimately lead to better photos. The more relaxed everyone is, the more authentic and meaningful the pictures will be. “There's no better advice than, just have a good time,” Bordonaro said. “You've worked so hard to play on your wedding day. Don't let the jitters of being in front of a camera bother you the whole day, because then you're not going to be in the moment.”
Wright voiced a similar sentiment. “I often fi nd myself reminding couples that this is their wedding day and that their happiness is more important than … making your parents happy, or your grandparents happy, and thanking every table, and all of those things that take away from the day you put so much time energy and money into,” she said. “When you really just need to stop and enjoy each other and laugh off the craziness, because craziness is inevitable. Like you just have to laugh.”
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How to avoid wedding reception seating mistakes
Weddings are great opportunities for people to gather and celebrate the melding of two families into one. Weddings are a melting pot, and while the ultimate goal is for all guests invited to mingle and have a good time, preexisting relationships may cause some wedding-day interactions to be strained. However, with careful planning and some best behavior on the parts of all involved, getting hitched can go off without a hitch.
It's possible for guests who may have tumultuous pasts to keep the peace, but this also can be ensured through careful seating arrangements. This is just one factor couples need to consider when deciding where guests will sit and dine at receptions. It's important to avoid some common mistakes.
Mistake #1: Not having a seating plan
Let guests sit where they want and chaos may ensue. People may think they're entitled to certain seats, may hop into seats vacated by someone getting up to use the restroom or any number of other scenarios. Seating arrangements also ensure everyone is accounted for across the room.
Mistake #2: Seating families separately
Unless there are rifts between certain family members, it's best to seat parents and children at the same tables.
Mistake #3: Trying to force new friendships
Avoid trying to fi gure out who will get along by creating a potpourri table. A cousin in a band will not necessarily want to sit next to your coworker who plays guitar simply because they have a shared love of music. A wedding is not the time to try to create new friendships. If it's meant to be, they'll connect in a more organic way.
Mistake #4: The dreaded kids' table
Young children can probably get away with sitting at a dedicated kids' table, although it may mean their parents have to interrupt their experiences by checking on their kids throughout the night. A bigger faux pas is to sit teenagers or twentysomethings at the kids table even if they seem like youngsters to you. Set a strict cut-off age for a children's table.
Mistake #5: Being too strict in seating
It's one thing to direct couples or singletons to specifi c tables, quite another to assign specifi c seats. Do not dictate exactly where at the table a guest should sit. Some people arrive early, others late, and it is up to them to work out how to arrange themselves at the table.
Mistake #6: Failing to get family feedback
Always check with your parents and future in-laws as resources about how to seat certain guests. They'll likely know who will make the best table-mates, especially if couples are not familiar with everyone on the guest list.
Mistake #7: Not being aware of disabilities or needs
Be conscious of guests' needs. An elderly relative may not be comfortable in front of the DJ table. A person in a wheelchair may need easy access to and from the reception room. It's important to be mindful of these special needs.
