December 2021 New England Monthly

DECEMBER 2021

HEALTH, WEALTH & LOOKING GOOD REFLECTING ON

2021

GREAT GIFTS & FABULOUS HOLIDAY EVENTS NEWENGLANDMONTHLY.COM

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Happy Holidays from all of us at

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MILBURY

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AND COMPANY

Real Estate Brokerage SOLD

Milbury and Company extends its congratulations to the buyers and sellers of these and many other fine properties, as well as the

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customers and clients that we have been so for tunate to work with during this extraordinarily successful year. THANK YOU for SOLD

choosing us and for helping to make Milbury and Company

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the South Coast’s NUMBER ONE brokerage!

Local Knowledge with a World of Experience

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WILL MILBURY GRACE ROWE COLLETTE LESTER MAGGIE TOMKIEWICZ CATHARINE KATZENBACH PATTY PEELEN ROBERTA BURKE

SARAH MEEHAN ALICE PETERSEN KEVIN QUINN CHRIS HILLER MARGO CHOQUETTE BETHANY MELLO PATRICIA HOTTEL

SARAH KOROLNEK ANNIE ATHERTON GILLIAN BARNARD SARAH DUPRE MAURER NINA WEEKS DONNA HORROCKS

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MILBURYRE.COM | 304 ELM STREET, SOUTH DARTMOUTH | MA | 508.997.7400

EST.

1980

THE SOUTHCOAST’S LEADING BROKERAGE OF DISTINCTIVE PROPERTIES SOUTH DARTMOUTH | $1,500,000

NEW BEDFORD | $1,175,000

Newly built 5/6 Bedroom 3.5 bath custom colonial set on 1.26 acres close to the beaches and all the Padanaram has to offer. Contact Sarah Meehan 508.685.8926.

Investment opportunity! Historic jewel, this property spans from Hawthorn to Maple Street with ample parking, three anchor tenants with established leases. Contact Bethany Mello 508.858.831.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH | $1,195,000

WESTPORT | $499,900

SOLD Welcome home to this quintessential New England farmhouse located on picturesque Horseneck Road in Westport. It is situated on 1.7 acres of beautiful cleared land and within minutes of several sandy beaches, conservation trails and wonderful restaurants. This is the perfect country location!

Contact Sarah Korolnek at 774-644-9156.

SOUTH DARTMOUTH | $1,195,000

Fabulous opportunity to purchase 3 pastoral estate lots totalling nearly 18 acres. Open rolling meadows, pristine woodlands, ancient stone walls. Create your own enclave , gentleman’s farm or family compound near historic Russells Mills Village and minutes from beach and walking trails.

Offered at $1,195,000. Contact Alice Petersen 508.965.6938.

PADANARAM ACRES | $649,000

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Sprawling ranch set on beautifully landscaped one-acre lot offering four/five bedrooms.

Gunite swimming pool, detached barn. Stroll to Padanaram harborfront and the Village shops and restaurants. Contact Will Milbury 508.525.5200.

Padanaram Acres—Carefree condo living, all on one level. Offered at $649,000.

Contact Collette Lester 508.287.2075.

PADANARAM VILLAGE | $775,000

MERRYMOUNT | $625,000

SOUTH DARTMOUTH | $895,00

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UNDER AGREEMENT

Beautifully appointed 3 bed, 3.5 bath home with 2,617 sq. ft. and deeded beach rights. Expert craftsmanship throughout and turnkey condition. Nearby Village shops and Harbor activities. Contact Maggie Tomkiewicz of Team MCM ( 508) 995-2444.

Handsome four-bedroom, 2.5 bath, 2,580 square foot Colonial set on .80 lot in the established Merrymount neighborhood. Contact Maggie Tomkiewicz of Team MCM (508) 995-2444.

Country Colonial set on .75 acre offers 3,500 sq.ft. of living space including four bedrooms, fully finished lower level and two-bedroom guest/au pair apartment. Contact Will Milbury 508.525.5200.

ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 3 MILBURYRE.COM | 790 MAIN ROAD, WESTPORT | NEW MA | 508.636.2400

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december 11

25

WELCOME From personal health and improvement to luxury real estate and automobiles

TRAVEL A review of The Greenwich Concours d’Elegance

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IMPRESSIONS 2021—It wasn’t easy to navigate, but change is coming

MESSAGE TO THE COMMUNITY BayCoast Bank is rooted in local history

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35

HOME The ultimate in Cape Cod Living—New Seabury

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PHOTOGRAPHY BRAD LIVINGSTON 6 | DECEMBERBY 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

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LITERATURE A collection of thoughts and ideas go to print

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40 25 40

2021 GIFT GUIDE Take a look at some extraordinary gift ideas that can be ordered from wherever you are

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FIELD TRIPS Discover the best events and venues for the holiday season

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LIVING WELL Med-Spa services are becoming as common as haircuts; we look at the efficacy of procedures

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NEWS New Bedford Art Museum looks to expand

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INTIMACY It’s time to lower your defenses; they’re getting in the way of happiness

48 NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 7

Stunning oceanfront on Sconticut Neck Fairhaven $1,390,000

Gorgeous Padanaram Townhouse Fairhaven $489,000

Historic Downtown mixed-use building | New Bedford $950,000

Mixed-use on Sconticut Neck Fairhaven $479,900

Colonial with sprawling yard New Bedford $349,000

Prime Village Setting Marion $895,000

Spacious Back Bay studio | Boston $749,000

Customizable lot in Overlook Acres Fairhaven $250,000

UNDER AGREEMENT! Exceptional Country Estate Rochester $1,780,000

ROBERTPAUL.COM GREATER BOSTON, 617.262.1414 | CAPE COD, 508.648.6861 | COASTAL MA, 508.748.2400 ©2021 BHH Affiliates, LLC. An independently operated subsidiary of HomeServices of America, Inc., a Berkshire Hathaway affiliate, and a franchisee of BHH Affiliates, LLC. Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices and the Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices symbol are registered service marks of Columbia Insurance Company, a Berkshire Hathaway affi8liate.

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10 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Welcome

Looking Good—Feeling Great!

Y

es, that is the call-out for the future.

It’s about health and personal improvement. As fear dissipates from our psyche, we start moving to normalization— if you can call it that, now is the opportunity to make up for lost time.

We all found out that stagnation in our routines and social life is a drag, and the only way to beat back the boredom is to work on ourselves and go after what we want.

It starts with inner strength and working with partners; this month our ‘couples’ expert, Andy Aaron captures the theme when he unravels the mystery of defensiveness in relationships.

We can be better at caring for our loved ones if we take the time to understand them; this feature digs down into why we grow apart.

Our health writer Rob Saint Laurent explores the mysteries of medical spa services when he examines the research to dispel rumors and falsehoods about “getting work done” so you can

look the way you feel. Now, so commonplace, there is no need to allow time and gravity to ruin your fun and adventure.

Putting on a new face has a whole new meaning.

Taking a glance back, this month, we review the recent exhibition of the Greenwich Concours d’Elegance, held at the end of October in Connecticut. It was where class, sophistication, and a little motor oil, blended and created an exquisite social scene. History was made as experts, collectors and admirers shared stories of the past and got a look at the future of automobiles.

As always, for the holiday season, we’ve included our gift guide, the best in luxury real estate, and a unique feature from our seasonal literary contributor, Peet Nourjian. This month he provides readers with a sampling of his works from his newly published book, Poem-Frites Crisp & Lightly Salted.

We hope you enjoy this month’s issue and find our efforts meet your satisfaction. See you in 2022.

Have a splendid New Year celebration. H

We all found out that stagnation in our routines and social life is a drag, and the only way to beat back the boredom is to work on ourselves and go after what we want.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 11

Impressions

SEARCHING FOR ANSWERS

N

o one has to be reminded about the trauma experienced over the last two years; but, we need to acknowledge the resilience and optimism that remained steady throughout the most horrific pandemic of modern time.

As we head into the final stretch of 2021, it seems there is plenty of good news at the forefront. The stock market is strong and steady. New COVID cases are declining. Many more citizens are getting vaccinated, and the country is open to foreign travel. Overall, the public and businesses appear optimistic about 2022.

With this new lease on the future, productivity should increase with

12 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

expansion to follow.

It appears the only problems that exist surround the social aspects of our society. Crime and tensions continue on every front, from violent attacks on the streets and in subways, to vicious debates in and out of classrooms; most fueled by partisan battles over the airwaves.

Many people have begun to learn that gluing their eyes and ears to the news of the day is exhausting, aggravating, and depressing. During the past year, fewer and fewer people felt a need to stay ‘on top’ of daily events, and somehow, they would decide how to separate truth from fiction.

As the page turns and we enter a new year of discovery, we can only hope

that the lessons learned will infiltrate our lives. Perhaps civility and order will return, courtesy and kindness will be shown—on the roads and in person, and the ‘me first’ attitude will subside to a ‘we can do this together’ movement.

One might ask, what does it take to create such a monumental change in public perception and initiate personal transformation that will be contagious and cause a systemic reorganization of our fabric?

Unfortunately, there isn’t an easy answer, but we will try to offer a suggestion.

Having just wrapped up the Thanksgiving holiday, we are reminded of musician Arlo Guthrie’s famous hit, “Alice’s Restaurant.” It is a song—and

The future is in our hands; all it takes is a good idea repeated; change is coming.

a story—which defined American youth in the late ‘60s; released days after Guthrie played at Woodstock, it’s comical to think that generations after, the ‘Boomers’ would have a clue to its existence.

Maybe, just maybe, the tongue-incheek answer is found in Guthrie’s lyrics towards the end of the song, when he explains that if one person believes in something and says it aloud, they might be seen as sick. He says, “if two people do it, in harmony” someone might think, they are a gay couple (he uses an offensive term we choose not to repeat). The story goes on, “And, if three people do it, can you imagine three people walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out, it

might be viewed as an organization.”

Guthrie progresses with his thoughts, “And can you imagine, 50 people a day, I said, 50 people a day walking in singin a bar of Alice’s Restaurant and walking out…friends, they may think it’s a movement.”

And so it goes: maybe what we need is to take the tone down a notch, but begin to start the song of change, first to a neighbor, then to a couple of friends.

Maybe, just maybe, the community picks up on the theme, and the message that needs to get out is shared over and over. Until such time, we are all singing the same lyrics.

The future is in our hands; all it takes is a good idea repeated; change is coming. H

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 13

Home

14 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

New Seabury; AN ENCHANTED LIFESTYLE ON CAPE COD

PHOTOGRAPHY BY BRAD LIVINGSTON

BY STEVEN CHAN

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 15

T

his month’s Home Review is remarkable in every sense. High atop a bluff, its views of a glittering blue ocean with sweeping views of Nantucket Sound— showcasing spectacular vistas from Hyannis Port to Martha’s Vineyard are unsurpassed. Surrounded by manicured emerald-colored greens of New Seabury’s two private championship golf courses (often referred to as the “Pebble Beach” of the east coast), it delivers the ultimate residence or vacation home experience.

Set on the southern tip of the exclusive Seaside Village, this incredible coastal home sets a new standard for luxurious, comfortable, and relaxed living, with an abundance of privacy.

Walls of glass offer a mesmerizing perspective of the home’s position and status. Entertaining under the backdrop of technicolor sunsets are both magical and memorable. Making this an exceptional home, is its spectacular open floor plan which conveys feelings of brilliance and adventure. Friends and visiting family members will find the fully equipped guest house private and beyond comfortable.

Amenities include a private sandy beach, a heated gunite pool and spa, and steps from the country club and its services.

The exclusive New Seabury community is close to all transportation hubs and highways, with shopping and restaurants.

This legacy home needs nothing; it is well-appointed, extraordinarily designed to accommodate the most particular tastes. With 12 bedrooms and five baths, and a dramatic interior, feelings of freedom fill the air.

Allow us to keep our words to a minimum— the images will captivate your senses. H

16 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Walls of glass offer a mesmerizing perspective of the home’s position and status.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 17

This legacy home needs nothing; it is well-appointed, extraordinarily designed to accommodate the most particular tastes.

With 12 bedrooms and five baths, and a dramatic interior, feelings of freedom fill the air.

18 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

134 Shore Drive West—New Seabury, Massachusetts is offered at $8,900,000 and can be viewed by contacting Paul Grover at 508-364-3500 / pgrover@robertpaul.com, or Fran Schofield at 508-237-0006 / fschofield@robortpaul.com, from Berkshire Hathaway Home Services/ Robert Paul Properties.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 19

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Travel THE GREENWICH

Concours d’Elegance RE T U R N S W I T H E XCI T E M E N T A N D C E L E B R AT I O N

BY STEVEN CHAN | PHOTOGRAPHY BY STEVEN CHAN

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 25

W

e are reminded

by CEO and Chair McKeel Hagerty of the Hagerty company, a specialty insurance provider for the global market of specialty motoring enthusiasts and producers of automotive events around the country, that the name concours d’elegance originated in France during the 17th century. At the time, royalty and those with affiliation to the court in Paris would proudly display their

26 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

groomed and decorated horse-drawn carriages in the parks during the summer season. The public would, in turn, visit the prestigious weekend affairs dressed in their finest clothing and jewels and spend days socializing in and around the display of their modern-day mode of transportation.

On October 22-24, the most incredible automobile event in the northeast, premiered a new tradition after a twoyear hiatus—at the Roger Sherman Baldwin Park on Greenwich harbor; The Greenwich Concours d’Elegance.

This year marks the 25th anniversary of the show; but, it is the first to be operated by Hagerty since the rights were passed to them from the founders of the Greenwich automotive experience, the Wennerstrom family.

New for this year, the three-day motoring event integrated new elements into the show to engage the next generation. Features included specialized tours, educational opportunities, socials, luxury shopping, ride and drives, new vehicle experiences, and entertaining seminars.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 27

The festive atmosphere was contagious; the sun was out, participants enjoyed summer-like temperatures and large, friendly crowds. But, regardless of where you might be on the grounds, the music and professional television hosting and interviews of automobile celebrities could be heard and seen on the giant jumbotron, adding a feeling of national recognition.

The media and staff mingled with visitors; food tents served meals throughout the days; and the VIP tent catered to, well, the many VIPs who came from around the globe to witness the finest and even “lemons” that hold a place in horseless carriage history.

28 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Of particular interest was the effort to introduce children and young adults to the business and pastime of collecting, preserving, and restoring the most important automobiles and motorcycles of the previous generations. Kids dressed up as judges and were found touring the grounds—rating cars they viewed, just as the large team of professional judges were charged with, and brought smiles and admiration for the interesting questions they asked of the owners and representatives.

With the advent of electric vehicles not long ago, and the realization that they will dominate the future, many manufacturers displayed their new entries. One bold display catching attention was the

Bollinger B1 and B2, all-electric, allwheel-drive, Class 3 SUV, and pickups.

Looking ‘militaristic,’ they are sending a clear message to others in the business of manufacturing heavy-duty vehicles; this is your competition.

The curated event is a spectacular display of the greatest achievements in automotive history. From a century-old Duesenberg to ‘Muscle Cars,’ vehicles created to do battle in the Ford-GM rivalry, to those that can achieve unfathomable speed, there was something for everyone at this year’s show.

Stay tuned; rumor has it that the next Greenwich Concours d’Elegance is planned for June 2022! H

The festive atmosphere was contagious; the sun was out, participants enjoyed summer-like temperatures and large, friendly crowds. But, regardless of where you might be on the grounds, the music and professional television hosting and interviews of automobile celebrities could be heard and seen on the giant jumbotron, adding a feeling of national recognition.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 29

A Message to the Community

C

ome December, it will be 170 years since BayCoast Bank opened its doors, so it seems fitting that we announce this significant occasion on the pages of a publication that champions the news, events, and stories of the SouthCoast of Massachusetts, Rhode Island and beyond.

BayCoast Bank was originally named simply, “The Savings Bank.” It was established in 1851 on the boundary line of Fall River, Massachusetts, and Tiverton, Rhode Island. After more than a decade of successful service, the bank was mandated to apply for a new charter in Massachusetts, per a ruling by the Supreme Court. The boundary line between Massachusetts and Rhode Island was then defined, placing “The Savings Bank” on the Massachusetts side of the line.

30 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

While our presence in Massachusetts is robust, our commitment to the communities we serve in Rhode Island is equally strong; with locations in Little Compton, Tiverton, Providence, Bristol, and Cranston. Speaking of Little Compton, the people we have met, and the connections we have made there, make us feel a true part of this beautiful coastal community; and we mean community, in every sense of the word.

There is an obvious spirit of identity among Little Compton residents, many of whom we have come to know, not only as customers, but as friends.

We’re humbled by and proud of the fact that more than 1,000 Little Compton residents have chosen BayCoast Bank for their personal accounts, and some 100 businesses in the town hold accounts with us.

BayCoast Bank was originally named simply “The Savings Bank.”

It was established in 1851 on the boundary line of Fall River, Massachusetts, and Tiverton, Rhode Island. After more than a decade of successful service, the bank was mandated to apply for a new charter in Massachusetts, per a ruling by the Supreme Court.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 31

Giving back to the communities we serve is a hallmark of BayCoast Bank; we feel privileged to be able to support several of the non-profit organizations based in Little Compton through a series of grants, including a donation toward the rehabilitation of the Town Landing, an oceanfront property that over time has experienced erosion and the need to be restored to its natural habitat.

This property holds special importance to the Little Compton community.

It was bequeathed by Hester B. Simmons, a former summer resident, who, upon her death in 1948, willed the tract to the town “for the use, pleasure, and benefit of the people in the community, in perpetuity.”

Simmons made it clear that the property should not be commercialized in any way but “shall always be used for recreational purposes; free to all.”

32 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

In recent years, the Town Landing has experienced a significant increase in public usage, from kayaking and fishing to biking, walking, and a spot for wedding and church services. Its improvised parking area lacks appropriate drainage, creating surface erosion and unsafe parking conditions. The grant from BayCoast Bank will be used to rehabilitate the Town Landing by creating a permeable parking area that will improve drainage, expand natural habitat with native species, restore eroded turf and improve the visitor experience.

In addition to helping renovate and restore the Town Landing, we are also proud sponsors of the Congregational Church Fair and the Little Compton Road Race. In fact, Dan Briand, President and CEO of BayCoast Mortgage, a longtime distance runner, has participated in the Road Race for numerous years.

“It’s a great event,” said Dan, noting that he has also made it a point to visit the Church Fair on the near dozen times he has run the Little Compton Road Race.

“Little Compton has the ocean, farmlands, and a strong sense of community. It is the quintessential New England town.”

We’ve become aware of Little Compton’s rich history, from the town’s common place in the National Register of Historic Places, to the World War II coastal defense Fort Church. From the town common cemetery being the resting place of Elizabeth Pabodie (the eldest daughter of John Alden and Pricilla Mullins of The Mayflower fame) to Pastor Sylvester Graham, namesake of the Graham cracker!

We have also been introduced to, and happily explored, many of the recreational and dining pleasures Little Compton has to offer.

The grant from BayCoast Bank will be used to rehabilitate the Town Landing by creating a permeable parking area that will improve drainage, expand natural habitat with native species, restore eroded turf and improve the visitor experience.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 33

Our ties to the community are strong, just ask Xenia Ledoux, our Little Compton branch manager, and Senior Universal Banker, Peggy Gil. Peggy, a resident of Portsmouth, Rhode Island, has been in the banking industry for 32 years and joined BayCoast Bank in 2017. “The bank I was working for closed its Little Compton branch, and BayCoast came into the building,” she said.

Aware of her reputation for outstanding customer service, Nicholas M. Christ, President and CEO of BayCoast Bank, reached out to Peggy personally and offered her a post.

“So, here I was, back in the same building. I feel like part of the furniture here!” said Peggy, noting that she joined BayCoast Bank in large part because of its mission to, “treat customers like family.”

“We make the effort to get to know people, and we do it because we genuinely care about customers.”

34 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

We make the effort to get to know people, and we do it because we genuinely care about customers.

That observation is echoed by Xenia, a resident of Tiverton, Rhode Island, whose experience in the banking industry spans 18 years.

“Everyone is so close here; that smalltown feel is wonderful,” said Xenia.

“A real sense of community was very

apparent during the pandemic.”

Although technology carried the weight of customer service, customers were happy knowing staff was in the building.

“It was a different means of servicing, but our customers were grateful for the technology in place,” said Xenia.

“We came through the past year and a half like a family, and that is exactly what we are here in Little Compton,” said Peggy. “We look forward to many more years of serving Little Compton, a town that feels like home.”

As BayCoast Bank continues to grow, we look to expand our presence in Rhode Island even more. Rhode Island is an integral part of our past, our present, and most certainly our future.

As our 170th anniversary approaches, and plans are made to commemorate, we hope that the many consumers, businesses, non-profits, and municipalities that call BayCoast Bank their bank will help us celebrate. H

Literature

Thoughts&Prose

BY PEE T NOU R JIAN

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 35

I

t has become a yearly tradition; each December for the last few years, we have offered space to our feature author, and in return, he has delivered a variety of works that have made us feel good, while at the same time causing us to pause and reflect.

This year is no different; we are proud to offer Peet Nourjian a place to air his feelings, ask questions, and share his wisdom.

Nourjian has published a book of his works that is worth a look.

Witty and provocative, it would make an excellent gift for someone on your shopping list this season.

If you enjoy his words, but don’t find them enough to satisfy your curiosity, visit Amazon and search for Poem-Frites Crisp & Lightly Salted

by Peet Nourjian.

The unassuming 60 page collection is perfect reading while sitting by the fire with a glass of wine.

Enjoy! H

FLAG POLL

Don’t get me wrong; I love the song At ball games, I always sing along “Oh beautiful for spacious skies” Always brings tears to my eyes But the flag’s a different story Respect’s been lost for our old glory Thanks to the far-right Proud Boy types Who’ve weaponized the Stars and Stripes Fourth of July, 80 degrees Front porch flag snapping in the breeze Fly it now, and some may condemn Us for being one of them Let’s send a message loud and clear We’ve got new colors flying here There’s red and white and even blue Some plaid, some green, some yellow too Clothesline laundry hung out to dry American as apple pie ‘Cause who we are is what we wear And solar power shows we care Symbolic banners take a hike Reminders of Hitler’s Third Reich Let’s jam the governmental gears With clothespins from our bandolier.

36 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

S’NO

Admit it, we all welcome snow First flurries cast a friendly glow That smooths the edges of our world A frozen patchwork quilt unfurled Snowflakes kiss our smiling faces Chopping wood for fireplaces Because we know snow will deceive And be a guest that just won’t leave Wind-blown flurries accumulate Roads whiten at a rapid rate Cars collide on spinning tires Bitter cold snaps brittle wires Blizzard-whistling through the night A burning log our only light The gift we hope that Santa sends Morning sun once this snowstorm ends.

TURTLE AIR

If fear of flying leaves you upset Then bring along a service pet Companionship that’s tough to beat For the cost of an extra seat But that’s a charge you can hurdle When the pet’s a rescue turtle As small as a computer case Laptop pal with a smiley face Slowly crawling all over you Choose window seats; they love the view Once you reach your destination Skip the usual frustration While crowded aisles can slow the pace Your tortoise helps you win the race.

LUNAR LIMOS

The billionaires in space it seems Say they’re simply fulfilling dreams Of weightlessness and cosmic views Streaking across the evening news But you and I have been to space Our launchpad is a pillowcase Asleep at night we levitate A weightless flight with dreams our freight The rocket rich should show their worth Not turn their backs on planet earth Let poor and homeless join your team Give them beds and a chance to dream.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 37

FINGER NAILED

That tall finger in the middle Taught to press strings on a fiddle Or type a text or scratch an itch Or throw a curveball when we pitch It’s a digit that would be missed For a handshake or in a fist But when that finger stands alone Its message is testosterone No gesture makes it quite so clear That there’s an angry person here Sign language for the letter F In case the target might be deaf So easy just to flip the bird Instant insult without a word The satisfaction when it’s done Until somebody pulls a gun For offenders who just can’t stop Jail time might be over the top Handcuff laws should be rewritten Lock that finger in a mitten All raise our hands and make a vow The flying F-bomb ends right now Let’s prove how civil we’ve become Switch middle fingers for a thumb.

COLOR ME NOT

We love them stretching nine feet tall When they slam dunk a basketball We love them running through a hole Dodging tacklers for the goal We love them when they swing the bat Rounding bases, tip o’ the hat We love them charging to the net Dark arms and legs glisten with sweat We love them belting out a song And prove it when we sing along We love them on the stage and screen Acting funny, romantic, mean We love them rising to the top Doctor, lawyer, banker, cop We love the ceiling they broke through On Pennsylvania Avenue We love our heroes when they win And never think about their skin Which means that ‘talent’ is the key That knocks out any bigotry What we need is legislation Funding for more education Make all kids stars we fans adore So color matters nevermore.

38 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

2021 HOLIDAY SHOW & SALE PAWTUCKET ARMORY ARTS CENTER 172 EXCHANGE STREET • PAWTUCKET, RI

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The Holiday Gift Guide 2021

Look How You Feel

U GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

sing non-invasive procedures and state-of-the-art skincare products, we provide a conservative and natural approach to restoring a look that meets your objectives and lifestyle.

Our services include the treatment of; fine lines, wrinkles, volume loss, dull skin, melasma, sun damage, sun spots, teeth staining, fatigue, and decreased energy, supervised by a Board Certified Clinician.

We also are an exclusive provider of LASEMD Ultra, non-ablative laser treatments proven to stimulate the natural production of both collagen and elastin for the benefit of a new appearance.

Pure Beauty Aesthetics is a qualified partner with Juvederm, Restylane-Revanesse and Kybella-Botox-Dysport.

Let today be the beginning of a “New You!” Contact us at 774.713.0711 or email purebeautynp@gmail.com to discuss your goals and answer questions about your interest in restoring a more youthful appearance. H

699 State Road, Suite 3 Westport, Massachusetts | 774.713.0711 PUREBEAUTYNPAESTHETICS.COM

40 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Ferrari Trento Unveils Ferrari F1® Limited Edition Blanc de Blancs Cuvée

W

ine for the newly obsessed Formula 1® fan, or anyone wanting perfection, Ferrari Trento has the perfect gift for the holidays. As the official toast of Formula 1®, award-winning Trentodoc winery Ferrari Trento will celebrate four of the most iconic Grands Prix in the FIA Formula 1® World Championship with the unveiling of an

F1® Limited Edition Blanc de Blancs cuvée.

The collection includes four versions, each dedicated to one of the circuits, including Monza, Silverstone, Suzuka, and Sochi.

Each bottle will have a unique label and customized gift packaging with an attractive, dynamic design. H Available at vinporter.com/collections/ferrari-formula-1.com – (750ml) SRP $35.99.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 41

Make a Big Impression Under the Tree This Year

R

ELIEF RX® Organic CBD Lavender Bath Salt by SaltWorks is a thoughtful gift. The full-spectrum CBD bath salt is made with organic nano-emulsified CBD, organic essential oils, and sustainably-harvested Antarctic Sea Salt.

The use of only full-spectrum organic CBD allows for the retention of natural cannabinoids, terpenes, essential vitamins, and proteins found in the cannabis plant.

A superior bath salt, every salt crystal is coated with CBD. A 20-minute soak in a hot bath opens the pores, allows the nano-emulsified CBD to absorb immediately, and offers full-body relief.

42 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

The calming effects of essential oils, such as lavender, create the ultimate bath time experience to relieve stress and anxiety. H In Lavender, Eucalyptus, Grapefruit, and original.

Available at SeaSalt.com – (250g bag) SRP $14.62.

Toast the Holidays with the Perfect Gift

I

n Europe, the tradition of fruit liqueur goes as far back as the 13th century, while Heimat New York is not quite so old. Heimat Liqueur’s recipes date back to founder Ute Londrigan’s grandmother, Maria Clancet, who began harvesting blackberries which were abundant in her backyard 100 years ago.

Today, Heimat New York works with New York’s finest farms and growers to source fresh, peak-season

fruit for their handcrafted, small-batch liqueurs. The process uses the whole fruit and is on its way to being completely zero waste; there are never any additives, colors, or preservatives. H Heimat New York liqueurs are available through stockists in Manhattan and upstate New York; visit empirewine. com or NewYorkCraftSpirits.com to order that special holiday gift.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 43

Gift Sets for the Home Chef

O

rder a Limited Edition Classic Salt Sampler Gift Set by SaltWorks and show your good taste.

A gift by SaltWorks is the perfect gourmet salt starter kit; it includes a selection of five gourmet salts with distinct colors, flavors, and textures from around the world.

From the caviar-like quality of carefully handharvested Fleur De Sel, to the vibrant and

mineral-rich grains of Ancient Ocean Himalayan Pink, each salt crystal is meticulously crafted to be the highest quality for superior taste.

Use as a finishing touch on roasted root vegetables, grilled seafood, or homemade chocolates. Plus, each salt is featured in a beautiful glass jar that will seamlessly fit into any kitchen décor. H Available at SeaSalt.com – SRP $34.99.

Limited Edition Master Chef Salt and Recipe Box Gift Set

by SaltWorks

E

njoy a carefully curated mix of gourmet salt along with recipe inspiration perfect for any Master Chef.

Purchase a delightful holiday gift from SaltWorks' artisan salt collections: Classic, Perfect Smoke®, and Fusion®, all-natural flavored salts.

Each variety includes an inspirational recipe for home chefs and discerning foodies to create the ideal pairing.

Learn gourmet dishes from the six included recipe cards, each paired with one of our unique salts.

Prepare delicious spinach, herb, and parmesan risotto with our Black Truffle Fusion® salt, or grilled lamb chops with a chimichurri sauce sure to impress.

Gift boxes include French Fleur de Sel (4 oz pouch), All-Natural Black Truffle Sea Salt (3.5 oz pouch), El Dorado® Mesquite Smoked Sea Salt (4 oz pouch), Polar® Flake Sea Salt (2 oz pouch), Spanish Rosemary

44 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Sea Salt (4 oz pouch), and Yakima® Applewood Smoked Sea Salt (3 oz pouch). H Available at SeaSalt.com – SRP $39.61.

Est.

2013

PH

OTOS

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 45

46 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

LOOK HOW YOU FEEL Using non-invasive procedures and state-of-the-art skincare products, we provide a conservative and natural approach to restoring a look that meets your objectives and lifestyle.

We also are an exclusive provider of LASEMD Ultra, non-ablative laser treatments proven to stimulate the natural production of both collagen and elastin for the benefit of a new appearance.

Our services include the treatment of; fine lines, wrinkles, volume loss, dull skin, melasma, sun damage, sun spots, teeth staining, fatigue, and decreased energy, supervised by a Board Certified Clinician.

Pure Beauty Aesthetics is a qualified partner with Juvederm, Restylane-Revanesse and Kybella-Botox- Dysport.

699 STATE ROAD, SUITE 3 WESTPORT, MASSACHUSETTS 774.713.0711 PUREBEAUTYNPAESTHETICS.COM

KIM RAPOSO-BUSA, NP Board Certifed Clinican

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 47

48 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Living Well

Botox and Dermal Fillers THEIR USEFULNESS AND SAFET Y

BY ROB SAINT LAURENT, M.ED

mericans are no strangers to cosmetic procedures. According to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS), we underwent more than 7.4 million injections of botulinum neurotoxins like Botox and nearly 2.7 million injections of soft tissue fillers in 2018.1 Botulinum toxins are the most widely used therapeutic proteins and are by far the most popular minimally invasive (non-surgical) cosmetic improvement methods in America, rising by 845 percent from 2000 to 2018 and 3 percent from 2017 to 2018.1 Indeed, Botox has been dubbed the “miracle poison” for its medical application in disorders involving excessive muscle stiffness (dystonia), as well as many other conditions.2 Despite and because of its popularity, the ASPS notes there is still much about Botox and dermal fillers that the public remains unaware of, which encourages misinformation and complicates decision making.3 For people considering these cosmetic enhancements, getting the facts is essential for knowing what to do and what to expect.

BOTOX TREATMENT

Derived from the bacterium Clostridium

botulinum, it is true that Botox is a neurotoxin and one of the most toxic biological substances known, responsible for botulism.

But it is isolated and purified and has been proven safe for medical and cosmetic use. In 2002, the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) approved Botox (botulinum toxin type A) for cosmetic use in the temporary reduction of forehead creases.2 Known under brand names; Botox Cosmetic®, Dysport®, Xeomin®, and Jeuveau®, botulinum toxin temporarily prevents movement of targeted facial muscles to create a smooth appearance in the overlying skin. To do this, botulinum toxin interferes with nerve impulses at the point where nerve and muscle meet. The toxin blocks release of acetylcholine, the primary neurotransmitter at the neuromuscular junction.2, 4 The American Board of Cosmetic Surgery (ABCS) explains that botulinum toxin treatment is effective for “smooth dynamic wrinkles,” such as around the eyes, corners of the mouth, and on the forehead, caused by repetitive facial movements like smiling, frowning, and squinting. Treatment can even help an “overly concerned look” and make a person’s countenance appear “more refreshed or even more pleasant.”4

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 49

Botulinum toxin injections are usually done during an office visit following a pre-treatment consultation to discuss patient health history, goals, and concerns. While major complications are unlikely, treatment may be inappropriate for people with particular allergies and other conditions. No special preparation is required, and a local, topical anesthetic may be given, though the needles are very thin and injections are not deep. Afterward, normal activity can be immediately resumed except for strenuous activity over the next four hours, and patients need to keep their heads elevated and avoid rubbing the injection area.3, 5 Experts stress the importance of choosing a clinician experienced in cosmetic injections, where success and safety are dependent on their skill.

They also advise that clinicians are licensed to administer the brand of botulinum toxin being considered. Botox Cosmetic, Dysport, Xeomin, and Jeuveau are all FDA-approved muscle relaxers with the same active ingredient, botulinum toxin type A, though they differ in the formulation. For instance, Xeomin does not contain a protein in its formulation that can influence the spread and speed of results, whereas the other three brands do.3, 4 Results are not immediate. According to the ABCS, it normally takes several days to a week to see final results depending on the brand, the amount injected, patient response, and facial area. For best results and a natural look, a smaller amount may be applied at first with a touch-up at a later time.

Final results generally last three to six months, so periodic maintenance is required.3, 4 The average cost of Botox is roughly $400 per treatment, depending on how much facial area is covered.3 DERMAL FILLER TREATMENT

Whereas botulinum toxin injections are more for the area around the eyes and for the forehead, another way to help erase the lines of time is by supporting soft tissues around the nose and mouth, along the jaw, in and around the lips, and in the cheeks and temples—all serving to restore fullness and youthful symmetry to a person’s face.

Dermal fillers are a different avenue to a smoother face in which gel-like substances are injected underneath wrinkled or creased skin to restore lost volume. A popular method, these “wrinkle fillers” are classified by the FDA-approved substance they consist of. Hyaluronic acid (HA), for example, is a substance our body already makes that keeps the skin plump and hydrated but decreases with age. The ABCS explains that the temporary fullness that HA filler adds to facial tissues typically lasts six to 18 months before the HA particles are naturally absorbed.6 FDA-approved HA fillers include the Juvéderm, Restylane, and RHA product lines; Revanesse Versa; and Belotero Balance.

Other fillers include, for example, calcium hydroxylapatite and poly-L-lactic acid. Practitioners tend to choose a particular filler that is most suitable for a desired area on the face; for instance, HA is often used around the nose, mouth, and chin. Synthetic fillers, like poly-L-lactic acid, usually last longer than HA fillers, while facial fat injections last indefinitely.6 50 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

People should take the same care in selecting a provider for injectable filler treatment as they would for Botox. The provider should be board-certified with a history of using Botox and dermal fillers.

The treatment process for dermal fillers is much the same as Botox, with little downtime except for facial fat injections (up to two weeks). In addition to a mild topical anesthetic given before injection, dermal fillers often come with lidocaine (another mild anesthetic) to provide additional comfort. Unlike Botox, however, results are generally immediate depending on the filler.6 The average cost of dermal fillers range from $500-$900 per syringe, with multiple doses sometimes needed.3 Botulinum toxin and dermal filler injections may be used concurrently and performed in one treatment.7 COMMON MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT BOTOX

Below is a sampling of frequent misunderstandings about Botox, answered by experts.8 No one knows the long-term effects of Botox. Botulinum neurotoxin was discovered by scientists in the 1950s. Since that time, there have been numerous studies on its safe application in humans, along with FDA approval.

Botox will freeze your face. The injected muscle is not frozen but prevented from contracting by the action of the neurotoxin, allowing the wrinkled skin to relax and soften. This misconception derives from faces that have been over-injected, underscoring the importance of an experienced provider.

Botox is only for wrinkles. Besides its most common use in treating crow’s feet, forehead lines, and other aging signs, Botox can also lift the eyebrows and reduce sagging over the upper eyelid. Medically, it is also useful for alleviating muscle spasms, jaw pain, migraine headaches, and excessive sweating.

Botox is high maintenance. Though Botox treatment doesn’t last indefinitely, effects can remain for up to six months making upkeep “easy to stay on top of.”

WHAT ARE THE RISKS?

Botox and dermal filler treatment are largely safe, but side effects can occur, particularly if an inexperienced practitioner does not place the injection correctly.

Possible example side effects are swelling, pain, and bruising where injected; flu-like symptoms; headache, droopy eyelid; cockeyed eyebrows; and crooked smile. While very rare, Botox can also spread to the body and cause, for instance, muscle weakness and problems with breathing, vision, swallowing, and bladder control. People allergic to cow’s milk protein and pregnant or breastfeeding women are advised to avoid Botox.5 Possible side effects of dermal fillers include, for example, swelling, rash, bruising, and bleeding; asymmetry, lumps, or overcorrection; infection; scarring; vision issues; and being able to feel the filler underneath the skin.7 Another potential side effect of botulinum toxin is its impact on a person’s ability to show emotions and thus interact with

others. One study examined the facial expressions of 52 adult female patients who viewed emotional videos before and after Botox injection in the muscles between their eyebrows. Results showed a significant impact on others’ perception of anger and surprise on their faces compared to before being injected.9 Botox may also affect how people feel emotions through the “facial feedback hypothesis” in which a pen held between the teeth to activate the smile muscles can enhance a pleasant experience versus holding the pen between the lips.

2. Chang, E. (2019, October 4). Taking the mystery out of Botox and dermal fillers.

American Society of Plastic Surgeons.

BEYOND VANITY

10. de Aquino, M.S., Haddad, A., & Ferreira, L.M.(2013, June). Assessment of Quality of Life in Patients Who Underwent Minimally Invasive Cosmetic Procedures.

Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, 37, 497-503.

This possible connection between facial musculature and mood regulation may also explain the early success of Botox in treating depression. When 15 patients who had not responded to previous medication were given a single injection of botulinum toxin to their forehead lines (glabellar region), they experienced “strong and sustained” relief after six weeks versus a placebo group of 15 patients, which lasted throughout a 16-week follow-up period.10 Research on the psychological and social impact of non-surgical cosmetic procedures is scant, but it suggests a positive impact on the overall quality of life. One study of 40 adult women who received HA filler and botulinum toxin treatment reported better quality of life and self-esteem, especially after the first three months following treatment, though patients still felt much better even after six months. (They also confirmed that the HA formulated with lidocaine was less painful for patients.)11 Generally, less body image dissatisfaction and greater self-esteem are reported after non-surgical cosmetic enhancement, but more research on psychosocial outcomes is needed.

To help ensure a good experience, experts advise going in with realistic expectations. They suggest that instead of celebrity photos, people bring a picture of themselves from their 20s as a starting point for their personalized treatment plan.

As with any invasive procedure, do your research before coming to a conclusion or selecting your clinician. H

3. American Board of Cosmetic Surgery. (n.d.). Botox-Type Injectables Guide.

4. Mayo Clinic Staff. (n.d.). Botox injections. Mayo Clinic.

5. American Board of Cosmetic Surgery. (n.d.). Injectable Fillers Guide.

6. Berry, J. (2018, January 6). What is the difference between Botox and dermal fillers Medical News Today.

7. Skin Wellness Center. (n.d.). 5 Myths About Botox Debunked.

8. Wyffels, M.L., Ray, B.B., Laurita, J.T., et al. (2020, April). Impact of Glabellar Paralysis on Facial Expression of Emotion. Aesthetic Surgery Journal, 40(4), 430-36.

9. Wollmer, M.A., de Boer, C., Kalak, N., et al. (2021, May). Facing depression with botulinum toxin: a randomized controlled trial. Journal of Psychiatric Research, 46(5), 574-81.

American Society of Plastic Surgeons. (n.d.). 2018 Plastic Surgery Statistics Report.

1. Nigam, P.K. & Nigam, A. (2010, January-March).

Botulinum Toxin. Indian Journal of Dermatology, 55(1), 8-14.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 51

Brigham Earns Another ‘A’ for Patient Safety in Fall 2021

I

n November, Brigham and Women’s Hospital received an ‘A’ for the fall 2021 Leapfrog Group’s assessment of patient care performance. Leapfrog evaluates and assigns a grade to all general hospitals across the country based on their performance, avoidance of medical errors, patient injuries, accidents,

infections, and other harms.

“We are incredibly proud to receive another ‘A’ grade from the Leapfrog Group. This recognition confirms Brigham’s dedication to ensuring safety and providing first-rate care continuously to our patients and their families,” said Andrew Resnick, MD, MBA, chief Quality and Safety officer at Brigham. “Earning the highest possible

safety grade reflects the diligence and dependability of our caregivers, staff, volunteers, and leadership at every level.”

This honor marks the eighth ‘A’ grade celebrated by Brigham and Women’s Hospital since the fall of 2017.

Safety Grade’s methodology is peerreviewed and fully transparent, and the results are accessible to the public. H

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News

New Bedford Art Museum/ArtWorks!

Plans Renovation and Expansion

D

uring the closing days of October, a focal point of art in the seaport announced a plan to redesign their cultural facility, which will bring a vibrant and more luxurious space for exhibits and events with their sights on increasing tourism to the city.

Board members, staff, supporters, and interested parties convened at the historic Star Store property on Union Street to unveil plans to reinvent the New Bedford Art Museum and bring it to a level enjoyed by an international community.

With the assistance of world-renowned architectural firm Machado Silvetti, the plan is to reinvent the existing galleries and build on the second floor to meet a new standard within the historic building across from city hall.

An anchor to the community, the museum project slide show shared the process and design of the work scheduled, while exemplifying the need to create an atmosphere that will tie in the city’s history and revitalization effort together. H

54 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

Looking Back

I

t’s the time of year when we receive unsolicited but valuable contributions.

Due to space limitations, we are unable to extend an opportunity for everyone to be published. However, after careful consideration, we decided to offer this writer (an anonymous submission) an opportunity to share their personal experiences during 2021 and an expectation for the New Year. H

It has been one hell of a ride since the COVID disruption came into our lives.

Disloyalty and dystopia appear to rule the day as we witness these and other issues that come into play.

Political unrest, overreach into our lives, as we watch perps commit crimes.

Feeling deserving and just, these villains leave trails of disgust.

Blind-sighted networks sit idly behind; it is a race to the bottom without insight as to why.

The year came in with a roar; who saw it coming—some might have implored.

Life is not static, nor is the issue of love; they are tangled webs defined by a glorious beginning and a tragic shove.

People change at the drop of a hat, while others calculate and sit back. They reveal torturous demands in their minds, we know this much; and feel justified.

Hurt and blame rise from the flames, leaving ashes and remnants to burn.

Still, rebirth is what so many hold as truth; like New England weather, in short order, you’ll be renewed.

Troubles appear, and challenges arise when one door closes—believe it or not—two new ones arrive.

Heartache is a fact of life, and life tinkers with love. Looking back as the pain subsides, would you have changed it if you knew of your demise?

Perhaps you have learned more about your mate, but it took a leap of faith.

Where did it leave you; you might ask why, but the only thing that matters is that you will survive.

As difficult as it is to become close and connect to another’s heart, it is the mindtrick that keeps many apart. The stress and tumble of staying ahead can only be described as an element of distress.

Going forward to unknown parts, you have a heavy hand and a broken heart.

But don’t lose faith because of past mistakes; keep your eyes open and your emotions safe.

Be cautious and wise; you’ll be surprised when your destiny arrives.

Pick yourself up and get on your feet; life is too short to accept defeat.

As we grow older and wiser—while measuring time, an investment in ourselves is the best gift-in-kind.

Wish no one harm or ill fate; it’s better to feel sorry for their disgrace. Their actions and fury is not their disdain; they know how they feel and need help with the pain.

Manipulation and calculation—it’s part game, but know while you were targeted, you could have refrained.

Going forward for the rest of the year, make up a plan that will bring you some cheer. 2022 is soon to arrive; you had better be ready and get back in your stride.

Happy New Year NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 55

Now Accepting Internship & Media Residency Applications ARE YOU CONSIDERING A CAREER IN THE NEWS AND MEDIA? If so, you’ll want to be surrounded by energy, excitement, and experiences in an environment known for breaking barriers and leading the charge.

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56 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

: 508.971.1969

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 57

Intimacy

T H E CLOSE D DOO R O F

Defensiveness

BY ANDREW AARON, LICSW

oving doesn’t happen without being hurt; a life lesson deeply embedded during childhood. It is a message echoed when romantic partners react by shutting down instead of affirming their affection with openness. Being closed is a defensive option of self-protection, same as a football team using defense to resist the opposition’s attempt to enter their end zone.

Couples use defensive tactics to prevent a partner from attaining closeness. This form of protection is attached with a cost; the lack of an intimate or romantic connection.

As love relationships age, there is a tendency for partners to become distant, a typical developmental pattern; the desire to avoid exposure is part of its appeal. The openness that loving a person requires creates the side-effect of susceptibility, resulting in partners being exposed to their influences.

The juxtaposition of this interaction of defensiveness to protect against vulnerability while simultaneously negotiating for a positive romantic connection, is a failed venture.

Words, choices, and actions express defensiveness in personal relationships, each contributing to distancing and reducing closeness between partners. Interestingly, these behaviors are without conscious intent.

For most people, defensiveness is exhibited in complex

58 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

encounters, while for others, it is a personality trait.

Those displaying such behavior believe they must protect their emotional state, often attributed to feelings of inner pain, weakness, and flaws. Their emotional state is one of inadequacy. However, by continuously ‘self-protecting,’ they can conceal those parts they deem flawed and out of reach by a love partner.

People in pain seek self-protection through anger, avoidance, deflection, and rationalization. Such defensive tactics can be hurtful by invalidation, devaluation, character assassination, and gas-lighting—other defensive actions, not as obvious, include criticism, judgment, distraction, and dismissal.

It is found that a dysfunctional partner favors defensive reactions such as avoidance, blaming, stone-walling, and silent treatment. Oddly enough, the closed door of defensiveness is evidence of a partner’s struggle to love him or herself.

Healthy relationships encourage growth and personal development, with partners assisting each other with improvements. These couples search for areas of growth, enhance problem resolution, and the development of closer connections. They also show openness and good communication skills; such practices allow one to be loved and show love. H Andrew Aaron, LICSW, is a sex and relationship therapist who practices in the New Bedford Seaport.

Couples use defensive tactics to prevent a partner from attaining closeness. This form of protection is attached with a cost; the lack of an intimate or romantic connection.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 59

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In all matters of relationship, intimacy and passion Helping people love for over 25 years New Bedford 508-997-6091 x106 www.helpforpassion.com Love is Simple, But We Are Not: A compilation of 13 years of articles by Andrew Aaron, LICSW is available for download.

60 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

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NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 61

P U B L I C S E R V I C E A N N O U N C E M E N T P R O V I D E D BY T H I S P U B L I C AT I O N .

Domestic Violence in MASSACHUSETTS WHAT IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE?

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, battery, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior as part of a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against another. It includes physical violence, sexual violence, threats, and emotional abuse. The frequency and severity of domestic violence can vary dramatically.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IN MASSACHUSETTS •

• • • • •

33.9% of Massachusetts women and 31.7% of Massachusetts men experience intimate partner physical violence, intimate partner sexual violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes. 1 In 2019, there were 28 domestic violence homicides in Massachusetts. 2 In one day in 2019, 1,857 adult and child survivors were served by Massachusetts domestic violence programs. Another 441 requests of services went unmet due to lack of resources. 3 In 2008, domestic violence was declared a public health emergency in Massachusetts. 4 In 2015, there were 30,172 active protective orders in the National Crime Information Center for Massachusetts in 2015, down from a high of approximately 55,000 in 2011. None of these protective orders had a disqualifying Brady indicator. 5 As of December 31, 2019, Massachusetts had submitted 2,442 domestic violence misdemeanor records and no active protective orders to the NICS Index. 6

DID YOU KNOW? • • • • •

1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner. 7 On a typical day, local domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 19,159 calls, approximately 13 calls every minute. 8 In 2018, domestic violence accounted for 20% of all violent crime. 9 Abusers’ access to firearms increases the risk of intimate partner femicide at least five-fold. When firearms have been used in the most severe abuse incident, the risk increases 41-fold. 10 65% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 96% of the victims of these crimes are female. 11

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE-RELATED FIREARMS LAWS IN MASSACHUSETTS

• • • •

•

Massachusetts law prohibits domestic violence 12 and stalking 13 misdemeanants from possessing firearms.

Respondents to final protective orders are prohibited from possessing firearms, including dating partners. 14 Persons prohibited due to final protective orders must surrender their firearms. 15 Massachusetts judges must prohibit respondents to ex parte protective orders from possessing firearms if there’s a substantial likelihood of immediate danger, including dating partners. 16 In this case, the respondent must surrender their firearms. 17 Firearm identification cards, issued after a background check, are required for all gun sales in Massachusetts. 18 Massachusetts can strengthen its laws to protect victims and survivors of domestic violence by o Prohibiting dating abusers from possessing firearms; o Prohibiting respondents to ex parte protective orders from possessing firearms;

If you are in crisis, contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or www.TheHotline.org.

Please visit the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence’s website at www.ncadv.org for more fact sheets, membership information and valuable resources.

Suggested citation: National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (2020). Domestic violence in Massachusetts. Retrieved from www.ncadv.org/files/Massachusetts.pdf.

62 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

The Breakers

A Holiday Celebration at the Newport Mansions November 20 – January 9

The Breakers

Marble House

The Elms

The Breakers, Marble House and The Elms will be lavishly decorated throughout with beautifully ornamented Christmas trees, wreaths, flowers and many other festive touches.

Sparkling Lights at The Breakers: An Outdoor Magical Wonderland Add a new sparkle to your holiday tradition! The Breakers façade and landscape will glow with tens of thousands of festive colored lights. This special ticket includes interior house tour.

Partners in Preservation

NewportMansions .org NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 63

Field Trips 1

The Best of the Best

Boston Tree Lighting & Frog Pond Skating 2021

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: ROVE.ME

T

he holiday hasn’t begun until the 7000 lights on the massive Christmas tree—delivered from Nova Scotia erected near the Visitors on Tremont Street is illuminated!

This special event includes members of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police and, of course, Santa.

Based on previous seasons, over 20,000 visitors are expected to attend the tree-lighting ceremony, including over 80 smaller trees found along the walking paths of the Boston Common and Public Garden.

Prior to the Tree Lighting, a complimentary Ice Skating Show will feature Boston’s Theatre on Ice and Team Excel Synchronized.

There will also be music, refreshments, and entertainment throughout the evening.

On Thursday, December 2, the skating show begins the festival from 5-6 p.m., followed by the Mayor throwing the switch at approximately 7:55 p.m. H

2

Get in the Mood

Nothing is more exciting than Symphony Hall during the holidays.

64 | DECEMBER 2021 | NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: BSO.ORG

A

s wonderful as the concert hall is, the décor for the much-anticipated Boston Pops concert will excite and entertain adults and children alike.

The special event features the masterful conductor Keith Lockhart and musicians are getting ready to perform your favorite tunes, timeless Pops sing-alongs, and a visit from Santa Claus.

Opening December 2 and running four weeks, there are also Holiday Pops Kids’ Matinees that are shorter in length, without intermission, along with an opportunity to enjoy post-concert treats and a visit with Santa. H For more information or to order tickets visit, bso.org.

3

A Musical Holiday Tradition

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: BOSTONBALLET.ORG

T

his year plan to revive the holiday spirit by attending the Boston Ballet’s, The Nutcracker.

One of New England’s favorite holiday treats, audiences of all ages will be entertained by colorful characters, and fabulous costumes on a stage that rivals Broadway!

From November 26 to December 26, the troupe will perform, in classical ballet fashion, a beloved tale of soldiers and snowflakes in a dream-like setting.

This magnificent tale set to the music of Tchaikovsky will create a fantasy wonderland that will live with you forever. H For reservations, visit bostonballet.org.

4

Rock On with the Rockettes

PHOTOGRAPHY BY: ROCKETTES.COM

W

hether it’s your first time seeing them, or you’re a regular visitor to the outstanding performance these incredible dancers offer audiences, is beyond compare.

For nearly a century, the Rockettes have entertained millions of people, becoming the definition of Christmas and the holidays.

Breathtaking costumes, skillful moves, extraordinary talent, and magnificent music make this the music and dance event of the season.

Runs Thursday, December 2 to Sunday, January 2. H For tickets visit rockettes.com/Christmas/.

NEW ENGLAND NEWS + MEDIA | DECEMBER 2021 | 65

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Catchaafast, fast,fun, fun, safe safe trip trip to to beautiful beautiful Cuttyhunk Cuttyhunk Island Island on board boad the Catch theM/V M/VCuttyhunk!

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• Depart from New Bedford’s historic waterfront; a short walk to downtown New Bedford’s many restaurants, boutique shops, museums & galleries.

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• Friday Night Sunset Cruises! Breath taking scenery, comfortable accommodations, not to be missed excursion.

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NOTE: IF SEVERE WEATHER IS PREDICTED, IT IS ADVISABLE TO CALL IN ADVANCE WEATHER NOTE:WEATHER IF SEVERE WEATHER IS PREDICTED, IT IS ADVISABLE TO CALL IN ADVANCE OF DEPARTURE FOR POSSIBLE SCHEDULING CHANGES. OF DEPARTURE FOR POSSIBLE SCHEDULING CHANGES. FALL: THROUGH OCTOBER 11, 2021 Depart New Bedford * Additional trips Columbus Day - Monday, Sept. 11 at 1 PM. Friday night boat through Oct. 8

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