Friendship

ature

onnections By Minnie Kansman

Friendship

“The only way to have a friend is to be one.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

Making friends has always come easy for me. I think that is because I have always been willing to invest the time into being one. There is work involved in friendship—commitment, persistence, attention, and trust to name a few. I have found there is much to gain from these labors and true friends are like gemstones to be cherished and loved.

Aristotle figured there were three kinds of friendships:

1. Friendships of Utility 2. Friendships of Pleasure 3. Friendships of the Good. The first, friendships of utility, are people it is advantageous to know for our jobs or to make our lives easier. They usually come into our experience for a specific period of time. Sometimes utility friends move through the list to friendships of pleasure and even good.

But most often, once the task is over the friendship is too. I have had this type of friendship in a past business partner. As much as I desired to take it to a deeper level, the relationship for them was only about the business we shared. This doesn’t mean it wasn’t a fruitful Frog and Butterfly alliance, it just ended when the business did.

The second type of friend is social and for our pleasure. These are the people you hang out with to have a good time. My social friends often join me on my Nature Travel Adventure excursions, and I often add new social friends to my list after each trip. We laugh a lot, have mystical experiences together, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company. Sharing a common interest, like spiritual growth, helps to nourish and sustain these relationships over time.

Travel Friends

I have been attending The Great Lakes Retreat in Olivet Michigan for over 30 years. This is a social gathering of almost one hundred friends I visit with every summer. We stay connected through social media throughout the year, but only physically gather for one week in July. I rarely see any of them between retreats, but I cherish the friendships of pleasure they give me.

Aristotle’s third level of friends are deep friends. Consider yourself lucky if you have two or three of these types of relationships. I feel extremely grateful to have many friendships in this category in my life right now. These are the friends you can share anything with. The ones you can call in the middle of the night, the ones who would put their life on hold if you needed them. They understand you, and listen deeply and compassionately to your life’s challenges. They are also there to rejoice in your joys, the first ones you desire to call or text with good news. These relationships are based on mutual respect and admiration. I believe they give deep meaning to our lives and also they take mindful nurturing to maintain and grow. I have been part of a women’s group for over eight years called the SiStars. Sister, because we feel like a very close chosen family of sisters, and Stars, because we are all shining stars with our own uniqueness. We talk monthly on Skype calls and sometimes daily on our Messenger group. If someone is in need that day one or many are present in the moment to be with them. It is an incredible feeling of support to know these deep friends are always there for me. But it is a commitment we have made to each other, and one taken seriously.

Sometimes deep friends are dropped right into our lap from Spirit, without a lot of introduction or need for socialization. My dear friend Terry moved to my hometown one year before I moved from Michigan to Colorado. From the moment we met we knew there was a strong bond of knowingness and friendship flowing between us. We adored each other, and took a week long road trip several months after we met. A past life perhaps?

It feels like we are starting from the middle of a very familiar story, and I know our deep friendship will last a lifetime. It is like we have finally found each other again. This reminds me of a Jim Henson quote, “There is not a word yet for old friends who just met.” I feel Terry is a very old friend.

Some friendships begin as utility friends and move into the other layers of social and even eventually into deep. These are the relationships nurtured through time and shared experiences. They are often called Lifetime Friends.

I have had friendships that have lasted for over thirty years and some for only a few months. They are all relationships in my life that have shaped who I am today. I honor and trust each one to be a catalyst for my sacred journey here on earth, I only hope they feel the same way about me.  Terry and Minnie

SiStars

Minnie Kansman and her business Eco~Balance Humanity in Harmony with Nature have assisted others with Feng Shui, Sacred Space Clearing, and Nature Spirit Connection since 1994. A certified Master Feng Shui Consultant and Educator and Nature and Forest Therapy Guide, Minnie lives lightly on the land and honors the power of Spirit in all things. The author of Spirit Gardens: Rekindling our Nature Connection, and Missing Nana: Lessons from the Nature Spirits, a playful children’s story about the afterlife based on love, available on her website. Join Minnie for her Nature Connections live stream the fourth Weds. of the month at 4 pm ET, and contact her for long distance and on-site Feng Shui Consultations and Space Clearing Ceremonies. Check out her website for a Forest Therapy walk near you. www.minniekansman.com ecobalance99@gmail.com FB: minniekansman99 FB: Nature Connections with Minnie Kansman