Retro Rivalry — Technician 2/01/24

TECHNICIAN FEB RUAR Y 1, 2024

VOL . 104 | NO . 1 8

RETRO RIVALRY DAILY TAR HELL: PAGE 8

Contents

2 TECHNICIAN THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

MINDFUL CRAFTS WITH THE PACK

IN THIS ISSUE: past and future 04 The of The Daily Tar Hell

Events to keep an eye on for the week of Feb. 1

NEWS page

Bestselling author Alex

07 Michaelides brings ‘The

Fury’ to NC State students

Friday, Feb. 2, 6 - 9 p.m.

Friday, Feb. 2, 12 - 2 p.m.

THE RADAR

page

TABLE TENNIS SINGLES TOURNAMENT

FRANK THOMPSON HALL CRAFTS CENTER, 131

WELLNESS AND RECREATION CENTER AND CARMICHAEL GYM, RACQUETBALL COURTS 7-9

Free Join Prevention Services and the Crafts Center for crafting and connecting while learning about mental health resources on campus.

Free Visit the Wellness and Recreation Center to compete against fellow students in a table tennis tournament.

CRAFTING RESILIENCE: NOTEBOOKS

LOVE YOU A-LATTE

Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2 - 3:30 p.m.

Tuesday, Feb. 6, 2 - 4 p.m.

D.H. HILL JR. LIBRARY, FISHBOWL FORUM

TALLEY STUDENT UNION, 3222

Free Engage in self-care and make a homemade notebook with Prevention Services and NC State University Libraries.

Free Participate in a coffee tasting and take home a stuff-a-plush with the University Activities Board.

PHOTO OF THE WEEK

CULTURE

page

16

The path to the presidency starts with laughter

OPINION page

18

TechSports: Covering NC State versus UNC since 1920

HALLIE WALKER/TECHNICIAN

Freshman Maddy Zampardo high-fives senior Amelia Rajecki after winning the doubles match against Clemson at J.W. Isenhour Tennis Center on Sunday, Jan. 28, 2024. Zampardo and Rajecki won the doubles match 6-2. NC State beat Clemson 4-0.

CORRECTION: In ‘Opioid overdose and prevention: Know the signs’ (p. 9, Jan. 25, 2024) Technician included incorrect overdose symptoms in an infographic alongside the article. Signs of an overdose include unresponsiveness, slow heart rate, pinpoint eyes, slow breathing, choking and blue lips, skin or nails. Technician regrets the error.

SPORTS Editors-in-Chief Ethan Bakogiannis Jameson Wolf

Assistant News Editors Ally Tennant Matthew Burkhart

technician-opinion@ncsu.edu

Managing Editor/Brand Manager Emily Vespa

Culture Editor Elizabeth Dull

Assistant Opinion Editor Skye Crawford

technician-features@ncsu.edu

Copy Desk Chief Rachelle Hernandez

Assistant Culture Editors Riya Kannan Amelia Russell

technician-opinion@ncsu.edu

Design Editor Ellie Bruno

technician-sports@ncsu.edu

technician-editor@ncsu.edu

323 Witherspoon Student Center, NCSU Campus Box 7318, Raleigh, NC 27695 Editorial Advertising Fax Online

919-515-5017 919-515-2411 919-515-5133 technicianonline.com

technician-managingeditor@ncsu.edu

technician-copydesk@ncsu.edu

Assistant Copy Desk Chief Elliot Johnson News Editor Kate Denning

technician-news@ncsu.edu

technician-design@ncsu.edu

Assistant Design Editor Carter McDermott

Opinion Editor Justin Welch

Focused Editor Koen Rodabaugh Sports Editor Jenna Cuniowski

Assistant Sports Editors Erin Ferrare Noah Teague

Photo Editor Ethan Rimolt

technician-photo@ncsu.edu

Video Editor Isaac Hernandez

technician-video@ncsu.edu

Assistant Video Editor Katherine Wan General Manager Garrett Gough media-sales@ncsu.edu

Technician (USPS 455-050) is the largest student newspaper of NC State University and is published every Thursday throughout the academic year from August through May except during holidays and examination periods.

Opinions expressed in the columns, cartoons, photo illustrations and letters that appear on the Technician’s pages are the views of the individual writers and cartoonists. As a public forum for student expression, the students determine the content of the publication without prior review. To receive permission for reproduction, please write the editor. Subscription cost is $100 per year. A single copy is free to all students, faculty, staff and visitors to campus. Additional copies are $0.25 each. Printed by Triangle Web Printing, Durham, NC, Copyright 2022 by North Carolina State Student Media. All rights reserved.

FRONT COVER BY JAMESON WOLF BACK COVER BY MAX ALSOP

News

TECHNICIAN 3

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

Letter from the Editors: Welcome to 2024’s Daily Tar Hell and Retrospective edition

Ethan Bakogiannis, Jameson Wolf Editors-in-Chief

Each year when the NC State versus UNCChapel Hill men’s basketball game rolls around in the beginning of the spring semester, Technician staff members put their sense of humor to the test in our satirical special edition, The Daily Tar Hell.

While The Daily Tar Hell has traditionally coincided with the NC State men’s basketball game against Carolina, this year we decided to line it up with the women’s basketball team’s duel against the Tar Heels in Reynolds Coliseum on Thursday, Feb. 1.

Thanks to the Wolfpack’s dominance, NC State women’s basketball’s popularity has skyrocketed in the past several years.

Combine that with the ever-present bad blood between UNC and NC State, and we’re happy to put a slight twist on this year’s Daily Tar Hell edition.

We know that, particularly in its satirical content, Technician has historically used humor to mask racist, sexist and homophobic rhetoric. This is not what Technician’s current staff stands for. We believe it is important to reflect on the role Technician has played on campus for the past 104 years. To

acknowledge the harmful content Technician has published in the past and ensure we publish fair, responsible and transparent journalism now and in the future, we are using part of this week’s issue to inspect Technician’s own past.

As we enter Black History Month, we also acknowledge past failings in Technician’s coverage of Black and underrepresented communities on campus. We are committed to consistently covering all communities on campus and not confining our coverage of underrepresented groups to heritage months. Keep an eye out for our coverage of Black History Month events throughout the month and our Black History Month special edition toward the end of the month.

We are also happy to bring back one of the better Daily Tar Hell traditions — a poster on the center spread of this week’s paper with everyone’s favorite, age-old saying: “Go to Hell Carolina.” Our goal is for as many people as possible to bring it to the Pack’s game against the Tar Heels in the “small gym” on Thursday night. If you can’t make it, feel free to hang it on your wall or give it to a friend or family member who won’t shut up about UNC.

ARCHIVE

Scammers target NC State students Ally Tennant

Assistant News Editor

Last year, a record-high 45 cases of scams reached NC State students through emails and phone calls. Student Legal and Student Ombuds have spoken out on how to prevent scammers from reaching your information.

Of these 45 cases, Michael Ferrante, staff attorney at Student Legal Services, said 25 were landlord scams, seven were employment scams, three were government-related or someone posed as the IRS or law enforcement, two were nonprofit scams, one was an honor society scam and the rest were miscellaneous.

CRIME ON CAMPUS NC State’s weekly log of major incidents across campus

“Scams have always been present,” Ferrante said. “And they have been changing and who they’re affecting. And the student population [is receiving] more than what the traditional scam population is.”

Ferrante said he believes scams are targeting college students due to lack of financial knowledge.

“What I see a lot of the times with scammers is, they’re taking advantage of a lack of knowledge of checks,” Ferrante said.

“They’re taking advantage of that lack of knowledge because scammers will send fake checks to students.”

SCAMMERS continued page 4

All incidents in the crime log are according to the University’s daily crime log published online in compliance with the Clery Act.

TRAFFIC STOP

KIDNAPPING

SUSPICIOUS INCIDENT

ASSAULT

Jan. 28, 2024 at 4:34 a.m.

Kilgore Hall

Jan. 26, 2024 at 7:19 p.m.

Carmichael Gym

Jan. 25, 2024 at 5:16 p.m.

Case Athletic Center

Jan. 22, 2024 at 8:02 a.m.

Sullivan Hall

A non-affiliated individual was stopped and arrested for DWI, concealed carry violation, speeding at 55 mph in a 35 mph zone and reckless driving with wanton disregard.

A non-affiliated individual stated she had tried telling an Uber driver he was going the wrong way to her destination in Holly Springs. She asked numerous times to be let out of the vehicle and the driver became irate with her and did not stop when requested. She was able to exit the vehicle and made her way back to Carmichael Gym.

A student reported being followed by a male in his late 20s or early 30s that made comments about her appearance. After she confronted the male he ran away but was not located. Information report was completed.

An individual reported that a male student had assaulted her daughter by grabbing her hair and dragging her. The female does not wish to speak with University Police about the incident.

A concerning behavior report and simple assault report were completed.

News 4 TECHNICIAN The past and future of The Daily Tar Hell THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

Kate Denning News Editor

Tim Peeler, a Technician alum and University communications strategist, remembers his Technician colleagues cramming into his Gorman Street apartment to take a photo that would define an era of NC State.

“Members of the Technician staff got completely naked, we took pictures, and then we altered all the pictures, pre-Photoshop, and had the starting lineup for Carolina,” Peeler said.

Peeler, who was a humor columnist and sports editor during his run at Technician, knows this ‘80s-era humor wouldn’t go over today.

“It’s not the same kind of humor that you would have today because we would be roasted alive for some of the things that we did,” Peeler said. “It was sophomoric. It was inappropriate in a lot of ways. … If you look at it now, we would probably all be embarrassed by it in some ways, but it was humor in the ‘80s. It’s hard to believe that I had to put myself into that category, but humor in the ‘80s was a lot raunchier, a lot darker, a lot more inappropriate.”

The Daily Tar Hell, previously The Daily Tar Heal, is Technician’s satirical edition typically published ahead of the NC State vs. UNC-Chapel Hill men’s basketball game.

This year, Technician is publishing The Daily Tar Hell to align with the women’s basketball matchup.

SCAMMERS

continued from page 3

Mike Giancola, assistant vice chancellor and student ombud, said the most common scams students face are regarding leasing and employment opportunities.

Through a rental scam, scammers will typically ask students to cash a check and then send them the money back. However, Giancola said most of the time, the money they send back to the potential scammer is their own money due to a bad check.

“The student goes to deposit the check, it appears as though the check is cleared because you look on your app, and it’s showing,” Giancola said. “But oftentimes, it takes several days, and sometimes even a week or more for that to fully clear. So by the time the student sends the [money] back to the scammer, they’re out that money because it was a bad check.”

Ferrante said several scammers scam students renting in Raleigh with a 12-month lease.

“Students who are looking to sublease want to get out or find cheaper housing,” Ferrante said. “[Students then] stray to better offers that aren’t realistic due to scams.

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY CATE HUMPHREYS

The Daily Tar Hell issue is meant to memorialize the rivalry between the teams by satirizing UNC-Chapel Hill’s student newspaper, The Daily Tar Heel, and Carolina as an institution. While Technician is now taking steps to ensure the tradition is far removed from its problematic roots, that wasn’t always the case.

“We considered nothing off limits at the time, other than outright racism,” Peeler said. “But I don’t think college students have

[Scammers] also take advantage of modern technology like Zelle. But the problem is they’re not reversible, you know. And so if you send a scammer that money, it’s gone.”

Ferrante said other scams involve fake emails for professors offering students jobs and then making the student cash a check for a “favor” and return the bad check to the scammer — leading to money being taken.

Ferrante said scams can come in the form of imitating law enforcement agencies and the IRS through phone calls, which leads to the person being scammed to give personal information and money due to fear.

“We even had students who said they received calls from the Raleigh Chief of Police saying that if they did not send money, they were going to be arrested,” Ferrante said. “The Raleigh Chief of Police is not going to call you individually. But you know, it’s scary, because you see the number for the Raleigh Police Department on your phone, and they say, ‘Check the number, look it up’ right? And then they keep you on the phone, and they’re trying to keep you at it to scare you into giving them money.”

Other common scams consist of scammers posing as students to sell concert tickets and subletting scams.

changed more than humor has changed. So that’s something people who remember my generation of spoof issues, are always like, ‘Oh, those kids today, they’re trying so hard not to offend anybody.’ But it’s a real concern, and it’s a real thing.”

Nicholas Schnittker, a sports writer and editor until 2021, said he was proud to see The Daily Tar Hell evolve during his time on staff.

“I think we’ve always done a really great job of making Daily Tar Hell incredibly fun, but

doing it in a way that we’re never punching down at anyone,” Schnittker said.

Schnittker said satire writing at Technician is more than a means to poke fun at UNC and the rivalry — it’s a chance to learn another aspect of journalism.

“Satire is one of the hardest things to do,” Schnittker said. “Doing satire well is really difficult, and it always stands out when somebody does it really, really well. So DTH was more than just having that fun little rivalry jab, it was also a great learning experience for anyone that wants to be in the industry.”

Peeler said humor was particularly important not just to Technician staff, but to other students at the time, especially during the Wolfpack’s winning 1983 season. “[A Technician employee] stripped naked on the center court, put a basketball over himself, took a picture, they came back and they printed in Technician the next day,” Peeler said. “Then the next day, State beat Carolina. … One of the reasons that the atmosphere was so absolutely insane, was that Technician spoof issue that they held up during the game of Dean Smith naked in the middle of his own home court.”

Peeler said the humor of Daily Tar Hell was ultimately the humor of him and the close knit Technician staff.

“It was our fraternity,” Peeler said. “We were all comfortable and happy with each other. …

So we were comfortable using the same kind of humor we would do on production night.”

GRAPHIC BY ALLY TENNANT

Once you have been scammed, Giancola said the possibility of getting your money back is slim to none.

“I would say that, typically, that money is gone, unfortunately,” Giancola said. “And I have people who’ve asked me if they can sue. If the scammer is a fake person, they don’t know who they are or where they are.”

Ferrante said there is no way to identify a scammer or how to track them due to a fake identity, making it hard to stop scammers from repeating their actions.

If a student ever finds themselves being scammed, Giancola recommends students reach out to Student Legal Services and the police.

“The attorneys at Student Legal are very student-focused and friendly,” Giancola said. “[They] also are aware of some of these scams. So they’re able to look into things to help verify if in fact that did come from a foreign government or a legitimate business contact or if it’s, in fact, a scam.”

TECHNICIAN 5 Culture Experts explain climate change through cinema TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

Pierce Bruns Correspondent

D.H. Hill Jr. Library hosted a panel of interdisciplinary experts Thursday to discuss how climate change plays out on the big screen as an ongoing part of the Wicked Problems, Wolfpack Solutions course for the academic year.

The panel included biology professor Martha Reiskind, ecocinema professor Jorge Mari, geospatial analyst and doctoral student Deja Perkins and climatologist Rebecca Ward to reflect on how popular culture can wrap itself around socio-scientific issues.

Ward said one of the best ways to raise awareness around climate change is to find a way to increase people’s interest in the subject itself.

“We know from the research side that not many U.S. adults are actually talking about climate change regularly,” Ward said.

“I think popular media and entertainment is maybe one of those ways to get those conversations going.”

The event featured clips from seven movies ranging across genres and eras, including blockbusters “The Day After Tomorrow” and “Wall-E,” as well as the Netflix original “Don’t Look Up” and the animated movie “Strange World.”

The presentation started with a clip from the 1958 romance film “Indiscreet,” in which an article covering climate change was briefly mentioned in an awkward elevator conversation. Mari said he picked this film to demonstrate that we’ve known about climate change and referenced it in popular culture — however subtly — for a long time.

This clip was followed by a part of the 1958 made-for-TV movie “Unchained Goddess,” which sought to educate people about the threats of the ice caps melting and showing how the melting ice could turn the southeastern U.S. into an inland sea.

The film also looked to end on an optimistic, if ironic, note — the idea that an inland sea means a new tourist destination to explore with glass-bottom boats.

Ward said this kind of irony is something that we do not see today, and the film attempted to cheer up an otherwise unhappy

COURTESY OF KAREN CICCONE

I think popular media and entertainment is maybe one of those ways to get those conversations going.

- Rebecca Ward

picture. As for the science behind an inland sea forming, Ward was more skeptical.

“I’d have to look at the layers and the science with a lot of sea level rise,” Ward said. “Yeah, I don’t know if that could be answered, but we’ll certainly see water come up that way.”

The 2004 film “The Day After Tomorrow,” the next movie, also highlighted the use of pseudoscience to provide a commentary on climate change. The dramatic, disaster blockbuster describes a world engulfed by a massive hurricane that plunges the planet into an ice age, with scenes of a gargantuan

tsunami that thrashes New York City.

The panel criticized the movie for its inaccuracy regarding weather and science.

Despite incredible visuals, the movie fails to note that storms such as the one depicted would subject the world to burning hot temperatures, not a deep freeze.

Ward said the primary goal of movies isn’t to inform.

“I think that movies serve to entertain, and so I think that [the filmmakers] are going to have to make some compromises in terms of the accuracy of the science,” said Ward.

The panel also discussed the 2008 film “Wall-E,” a Pixar animation that depicts a bleak future of an uninhabitable earth covered in trash while humanity lives out in space, cared for by robots and addicted to screens.

Perkins described the movie as a good example of how popular culture can predict the future and how disturbingly accurate the predictions can be.

“Even back in 2008, they had predicted that we would have this tech that would allow us to kind of disengage from real life,” Perkins said. “Think about today, a lot of kids kind of grow up being raised by their phones and TV screens. It was really interesting to see how and compare how close

we are to the actual projection of what [the filmmakers] expect this society to be like.”

Perkins used the film to further explain how the climate change issue can go extraplanetary as researchers launch more and more satellites to analyze and create data.

“We need [the] satellites, but at the same time, we’re causing more pollution to go out into outer space,” Perkins said. “So, it’s kind of a two-fold issue of needing the technology to do the science, … but then there’s the other side of it where it’s not sustainable, and we’re just causing more and more pollution.”

Apart from the pure science explained in the film event, the organizers hope to foster more connection between scientific fields and ordinary people. Event organizer and program manager of the Global One Health Academy Meredith Spence Beaulieu said aspiring climate experts and scientists need to be able to connect with a general audience in order to create change.

“For any science concept, any scientist, any scientist communicator, you need to be able to break down those barriers, to be able to talk with people about what you’re doing, why it’s important, and what your results really mean,” Beaulieu said. “You have to be able to communicate the results of the science in order to see the impact.”

Culture

6 TECHNICIAN THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

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HALLIE WALKER/TECHNICIAN

Lindley Williams eats a donut during the 19th Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge in Raleigh on Saturday, Feb. 4, 2023. The Krispy Kreme Challenge raised money to support the UNC Children’s Hospital.

Five miles, twelve doughnuts, one hour: Twenty years of the Krispy Kreme Challenge Amelia Russell and Riya Kannan Assistant Culture Editors

In 2004, a handful of undergraduate students attempted a challenge testing their physical strength and gastrointestinal resilience. On a dare, they tried to run 2.5 miles from the Belltower to the nearest Krispy Kreme, where they attempted to eat a dozen glazed doughnuts before running 2.5 miles back to the start — all in under an hour.

In the 20 years since then, thousands have tackled the challenge. Though the race requirements have stayed the same since 2004, the impact of the race has greatly evolved.

Jalen Lucas, a third-year studying chemical engineering and one of the race directors, said the ultimate purpose of the race is to raise money for the UNC Children’s Hospital.

“It’s certainly a challenge that’s for charity,” Lucas said. “UNC became the initial [beneficiary]. … We’ve just kind of stuck with it since the beginning because it’s a local hospital in the area that

deals with children.”

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is UNC Children’s Hospital’s largest unrestricted donor, having contributed a total of over $2 million since its formal inaugural year.

The evolved impact of the race doesn’t just stop at charitability. The Krispy Kreme Challenge went from a dare between friends to a recurring entry on various “Top Things to Do Before You Graduate” lists. The challenge is nationally publicized, having grabbed the attention of all from Sports Illustrated and ESPN over the years.

Lucas said the Krispy Kreme race stands out from other races due to its local impact as well as its novelty and individuality.

“It’s not like a marathon race that’s run at multiple locations,” Lucas said. “It only happens at NC State. [There has] been some talk before [that] some people want to replicate the race at other locations, but we kind of want to keep it an NC State tradition.”

Henry Pickett, a fourth-year studying

electrical engineering, said he ran the race to partake in the tradition.

“When you come to school you want to hit some of the big traditions,” Pickett said. “You want to storm a football field, … and you want to do a Krispy Kreme five-mile run.”

Pickett said he underestimated the race’s difficulty but learned his lesson when he threw up three times while eating his dozen doughnuts.

“The actual running wasn’t so bad,” Pickett said. “It was the dozen doughnuts, really. It’s too much. While you’re running you kind of get runner’s stomach, so it closes off and the last instinct you have is to eat something. … The run back was easy because, at that point, I didn’t have anything in my stomach.”

The Krispy Kreme Challenge, being a uniquely NC State tradition, has brought increasing attention to the University over the last two decades. Lucas said the race brings local, statewide, national and even international popularity to NC State’s campus and downtown Raleigh.

“I think it’s iconic,” Lucas said. “It

brings people from … all the states. …

Looking at previous registrations, we have people that come from, I’m pretty sure, almost every single state. Mostly North Carolina, of course, but almost every single state and sometimes even from outside the country. So I really think it puts us on the map.”

Pickett’s advice to students interested in running the race included not drinking water before the race to make room for doughnuts and to try dunking the doughnuts in the water to soften the glaze, though he said the ever-popular technique didn’t help him last year due to the cold.

This year’s race will be held Feb. 3 and is currently accepting registrations for participants.

Getting involved w it h t he Krispy Kreme Challenge doesn’t require one to be a marathon runner with a stomach of steel, though. Those who wish to get involved without running can still make an impact by joining the team of student volunteers who organize and execute the race.

TECHNICIAN 7

Culture TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

Bestselling author Alex Michaelides brings ‘The Fury’ to NC State students

KYLEE HERTRICK/TECHNICIAN

Sarah Hoffer Correspondent

Alex Michaelides, #1 New York Times bestselling author of “The Silent Patient,” laughs with the audience during the Author Event in Witherspoon Student Center on Wednesday, Jan. 24, 2024. Michaelides engaged with the audience throughout the event and signed books after.

Alex Michaelides, a New York Times bestselling author, visited campus for his new book tour Wednesday evening.

“The Fury” is a thriller novel set on an island in Greece, where the owner has invited her closest friends for Easter. The book follows Elliot, one of the attendees, who narrates the countless twists and turns. The group finds itself trapped on the island, and, through a battle of wits, a death occurs.

Michaelides said this book brought self-growth and knowledge to his life since the process was so different from his other books. For his previous books “The Silent Patient” and “The Maidens,” he knew the plot extensively before sitting down to write the book, but with “The Fury,” the plot came to him as he went. Michaelides said the book wasn’t in first person originally, but he decided to change it while walking on the beach and reciting the opening lines to himself.

He said he thought this book challenged him as a writer, and he sought more enjoyment in the plot-making process than he had previously, even though it took longer to perfect.

Michaelides said he feels that mental health can benefit from reading.

“I think [reading is] really good because it allows you to inhabit someone else’s mind, you know, and I think that’s a hugely important thing to be able to experience what life is like for another person,” Michaelides said. “I think it breeds empathy.”

Quail Ridge Books, a local bookstore in Raleigh, helped organize this event. Its main goal is to promote new

books, literacy and independent businesses. Free tickets were available to NC State students on a first come, first serve basis.

Kate Vogler, a first-year in exploratory studies, attended the event and is a fan of Michaelides’ writing. She said she enjoys finding a deeper meaning in the books she reads, even if it’s for leisure.

“The structure of his writing is just so enamoring — the way he speaks to the reader through his writing is just insane,” Vogler said. “And the use of Greek mythology and Greek drama, tragedy, etc. and how he incorporates that into a story, but not so obvious, just makes the reader sit on the edge of their seat and want to read more and more. It’s kind of addicting.”

After the program, Michaelides took questions from the audience about things such as future writing plans and whether he sees himself in his characters. Afterwards, he sat at a table to sign and personalize books for those who purchased one.

Rachel Kershner, a second-year studying business administration and international studies, said she was ecstatic about hearing from Michaelides.

“Usually within the first 100 pages, I can know the ending,” Kershner said. “That’s how I am with a lot of mysteries, [but] this one [I] did not see it coming any way, shape or form. It caught me so off guard, and I loved that about his writing.”

Kershner said while typical nonfiction reading assignments are necessary for learning, students should read fiction as well in their free time.

“I really like reading fiction because I can tell I get lost in the story,” Kershner said. “I’m not so focused on the details and trying to remember the dates or the names or whatever it is, I feel like I could just get lost in the story and kind of just enjoy it for myself.”

In his past, Michaelides was a screenwriter, but he said he didn’t find enjoyment in the process and outcomes of his work, so he decided to pursue another path. He has a history working in a psychiatric unit, which he said influenced his writing greatly.

He said writing comes easier at first if you write what you know, which is why he wrote about a therapist in his first novel, “The Silent Patient.” Finding a niche in life can be difficult, but Michaelides said you should trust the process.

“Just follow your heart; I think it’s a simple answer,” Michaelides said. “Yeah, things didn’t work out for me until I started doing stuff that I really loved.”

Vogler said attending events like this one can help someone gain a better understanding of the author and their experience writing the book, which adds to the experience of reading it.

“Just getting to know the author of the book, [seeing] him in person gives you a whole new perspective as to why he wrote it,” Vogler said. “Like what drew him to write about XYZ and stuff like that, and after something really compelling that most people should experience.”

To find more events like this one, visit NC State University Libraries’ events page or the Quail Ridge Books website.

Disinforming students and the University community since 1893

Volume 69, Issue 666

dookrejects.com

Gameday, February 1, 2024

God confirms that Chapel Hill is original site of Garden of Eden

Bi Line

Minor Diety Correspondent

The trademark tulip poplar trees. The southern wind blowing through their leaves. The storied, historical structures of higher education that stand with the same elegant prose as the students they house.

You know it, I know it: UNC Chapel Hill’s campus is the most awe-striking, beguiling and exquisite place on Earth. Or as it now appears, maybe even beyond.

Yes, as the students and faculty of Chapel Hill returned to our anointed campus from break, a few new faces came home too. Yahweh, Allah, Alpha and Omega,

The Almighty — you might know her better as God. The omnipotent and omniscient being who created the Universe has come to Chapel Hill after dramatically revealing that no afterlife or transcendent supernatural place to reside in truly exists and that what we figured all along was true: The gates of Heaven run through Franklin Street.

Chapel Hill, with its luscious greenery — fabled to the same degree as the Hanging Gardens of Babylon — and its glorious architecture — to which the marvels of European temples pale in comparison — has been declared the literal heaven on Earth.

The City of God is the city of Chapel Hill.

While the city and campus have obviously been the envy of all North Carolinian college students for centuries, the Gods have descended to confirm the matter.

It is not only the monotheistic interpretation of God who has packed their bags, but also every other religious deity and significant arbiter of faith throughout history.

Zeus, Brahma, Vishnu, Atum, Siddhartha Gautama, Odin, Confucius, Martin Luther, just to name a few. These figures claim that they have remained celibate from the promised kingdom of Chapel Hill for too long and that it was the right time for them to rest in the true celestial city.

The recent revelation has given credence

to the long-held belief amongst Tar Heels that the campus was actually the original site of the Garden of Eden, created in God’s perfect conception. The oak trees, milkweed and azaleas that could not possibly be found anywhere else mean Chapel Hill is sure to be the site of all creation.

Jesus Christ, of the Christian tradition, announced in conjunction with his arrival that his original birth place was actually Chapel Hill, and that he was not born in a manger but in a dug excavation meant to produce water for the locals, none other than the very spot of our Old Well.

EDEN continued page 9

President Biden: ‘No Cook Out, no funding’

The Forsaken

Mythical Creatures Editor

Provisions in the American Rescue Plan and the Inflation Reduction Act are bringing hundreds of millions of dollars in various infrastructure projects to most of North Carolina, but now with one major exception.

In President Joe Biden’s much documented trip to a local Raleigh Cook Out, a change in the administration’s policy priorities arose. Following a discussion with Gov. Roy Cooper, an alum of UNC-Chapel Hill, the president threw up and passed out after being told UNC did not have a Cook Out. When he came to, the president, in a geriatric rage, yelled, “Huh? What? That’s your ‘f lagship’ university in this state?

This is where Michael Jordan played? And you’re telling me I can’t even get a milkshake there? C’mon man.”

The president and his advisors convened an emergency strategy session to assess options and next steps. After the president threatened to cut off funding from the entire state, representatives based in Raleigh assured the president that most other universities housed Cook Outs right down the street from campuses.

In the hours that followed, Sen. Jay J. Chaudhuri openly scolded Sen. Graig Meyer on the General Assembly Senate floor, blaming him for almost losing essential funding for the state.

President Biden prepares to unleash a Biden Blast.

“The representative from Chapel Hill needs to get their ducks in a row,” Chaudhuri said. “For far too long the high-minded attitudes of her constituents have negatively affected real North Carolinians. Cook Out is a staple of our culture, and if Chapel Hill doesn’t want its precious reputation tainted

by the presence of a fundamental component of the state’s working class people, it needs to recuse itself from all state affairs.”

After hours of deliberation and tense discussions, President Biden calmed down after the Secret Service drove him to the Cook Out on Western Boulevard, down

KAMALA HARRIS/DAILY TAR HELL

the street from NC State University. With a black-and-white milkshake in hand, the president exclaimed, “This is it. This is the real America. The true essence of freedom.

This is what we go to war for.”

Legit News

Gameday, February 1, 2024

9

Goofy ahh chancellor candidates describe platforms in heated debate

Polly Sigh

Yapper-in-Chief

Following former chancellor Kevin Guskiewicz’s departure from Chapel Hill to East Lansing, Michigan, UNC is eagerly awaiting its next chancellor.

The Daily Tar Hell held a debate with all prospective candidates to hear their platforms.

Tim Moore, a Chapel Hill alum and current N.C. House Speaker, was the first to announce his bid for the chancellorship.

Moore said a key point of his campaign is redistricting campus.

“My first order of business would be to gerry — I mean, separate the campus into distinct districts,” Moore said.

Moore plans to relocate the entire fine arts and humanities department, with the exception of the School of Civic Life and Leadership, to the Davis Library first f loor bathrooms.

Moore also called for an overhaul of the library’s inventory, only allowing copies of “T is for Tar Heel: A North Carolina Alphabet” and the written works of Ben Shapiro to remain in its collection.

In addition to these provisions, Moore said the UNC Board of Trustees lacks sufficient conservative representation.

He plans to balance it by appointing what he refers to as the holy trinity to the Board.

The next candidate to speak was Sage Leafdusk, a barista at Lanza’s Cafe, the student favorite in the race.

Leafdusk said their top priority as

EDEN

continued from page 8

It appears that our campus was not only the birthplace of public universities, but also the Messiah. But who’s surprised?

The development is wonderful news for the entire world. Now that we can confirm that heaven is a place on Earth, we no longer need to pour billions of dollars into space exploration. Why continue such journeys for another world when no world can bear the Carolina blue fruit of our campus?

Though Chapel Hill has likely averted worldwide catastrophes before with its esteemed teachings and graduates who have

chancellor would be to rename the University to “The University of North Carolina at Carrboro.”

“Campus needs to be named after where students actually spend time,” Leafdusk said. “Anyways, do our students even know where Chapel Hill is?”

Leafdusk said they plan to abolish student housing in favor of converting all residential halls into frat houses.

“This would be a key aspect of encouraging more students to engage with the Greek Life community,” Leafdusk said.

Leafdusk said another one of their provisions would be to mandate that every student wear angel or devil costumes whenever in class, and to transport all belongings in massive Carolina blue Stanley cups.

The last candidate to enter the race was the reanimated corpse of James K. Polk, a former Tar Heel and formerly alive president of the United States, via a ram sacrifice ritual.

Polk was asked how he imagined his relationship with the UNC Board of Trustees to work if appointed chancellor.

“Grahhhhhhh,” Polk said, while his security guards tightened his restraining bolts.

Ramses, who spoke on Polk’s behalf via dark magic, said Polk plans to introduce mounted cavalry and western expansion majors to the University.

Polk then attempted to charge at a staff member of the Daily Tar Hell while being prodded off stage.

gone on to change the world, all semblances of war and grief in the name of religion can be put to bed. If you seek salvation and eternal paradise, it is where we have always claimed it to be: Orange County, North Carolina.

Us members of the Chapel Hill community, those able to maintain superlative grades and pristine reputations throughout high school, can now rightfully claim our place amongst the gods. It is clear that our glorious purpose, which we have forever felt innately within our souls, has always been and truly is mandated from the heavens. Go forth, Tar Heels, as we have done for centuries, and fulfill God’s will as the apostles we are.

GRAPHIC BY JUDAS

She came. She saw. She served. Dare we say, she ate.

GRAPHIC BY RYLIE RUMPLE

Illegit News

Gameday, February 1, 2024

12

UNC establishes School of Ultranationalism and Autocracy to combat liberal echo chamber Zani Rithel

fully indoctrinate; the journalism school produces establishment-touting hacks; our libraries proudly shelve the works of Marx.”

Through its control of the University’s Board of Trustees, the General Assembly Republican supermajority has fast tracked the school’s creation to fight this implicit bias. Maxwell Pumpernickel, a third-year studying fallacies and tax evasion, spoke on the short-comings of the original School of Civic Life and Leadership.

“While having the right idea in mind by

mandating particular political thought in education, the General Assembly had to retake control of the educational institutions in our state,” Pumpernickel said. “The School of Ultranationalism and Autocracy will be the solution for liberal echo chambers.”

This school is projected to be the dominating force of campus politics. Pumpernickel said it will serve as an institution to protect and expand the right-wing ideologies the liberal media is scared to cover.

“It would spit in the eye of liberals that tarnish the name of those who made this University great,” Pumpernickel said. “In time, it will make UNC-Chapel Hill great again, returning us to historical glory.”

While this seems to many to be a radical jump, Pumpernickel said people should look at the state of political discourse in this country and on UNC’s campus. Some say the republic is racing toward communism with affirmative action appointments, the tearing down of statues dedicated to historic national icons and the allowed open exchange of all sorts of literature that hasn’t been pre-approved.

“As our republic falls to the hands of this communist vermin, we need a new cradle of leadership with strong, nationalist values to force the country forward,” Pumpernickel said.

In the name of balanced political discourse, the new school’s mission is to not only platform the voices of the farest fringes of the right, but also move to silence the plethora of students supporting humanitarian and social justice causes.

This new school will be established by pulling funds from humanities departments as punishment for brainwashing students on campus.

Bud Weiser

of discussing the classist history and religious symbolism behind them, it wouldn’t have come as such a shock to our students, but I’m not really sure what more we could have done.”

James said following the students’ reaction, she has decided to retire from academia after this semester.

“You can’t force people to want to learn,” James said. “And I’m done trying.”

Davie said it appeared that some effort was made by students to make the Old Well produce water, but to no avail.

“Some of the guys in front of me tried to see what was going on,” Davie said. “I literally thought they were going to break it.

They just kept banging on it and screaming at it. I guess you can’t really blame them; they were desperate. It kinda makes me wish we had some more engineers on campus. At least they tried.”

Cody Flagler, a sixth-year studying business administration, was one of the first to attempt to take a sip and the first to begin investigating the issue with the well. He said while he and his friends fell short, it was not due to lack of effort.

“We tried, of course,” Flagler said. “God knows I did. The last few semesters, the magic hasn’t really been working for me, and I figured maybe it was because I didn’t drink enough. So this time, I brought an empty six-pack with me to fill up to make

sure I would drink enough and the magic would work. Then this happened.”

Flagler said he was worried about his academic performance in the commencing semester.

“I literally have no idea how I’ll pass Intro to Business now,” Flagler said. “I have no idea what to do. It’s my sixth time taking it, and my dad says if I don’t get at least a C this time he’ll stop paying my Fiji dues.”

Within days of the discovery of the dry well, hundreds of students, Flagler included, withdrew from the term, deciding to take a gap semester.

“I’m just not taking any chances,” Flagler said. “I was counting on the well pulling through for me this year. But at this point it’s either take a break until the well is fixed or actually start going to class, so it’s a pretty obvious choice.”

Ryan Evangelina Morehead, a third-year formerly studying theology and now taking a gap semester, said she believed the empty well was a “sign from the universe.”

“We study too hard,” Morehead said. “Me personally, not really, but I always tell that to the person I pay to do my homework. But I think this was the universe’s way of telling other students to relax.”

Morehead plans to spend the semester in Paris, immersing herself in the culture.

She will be traveling with her shih tzu and translator.

Free Thinker

Last semester, the University moved forward with the controversial creation of the School of Civic Life and Leadership, a selfconfessed effort to establish a “conservative center” on campus to remedy the partisan imbalance at the University.

The dean for the new school has yet to be announced, but UNC alumni Virginia Foxx, Tim Moore, Alessandra Mussolini and the ghost of Henry Kissinger are all candidates for the position.

While many saw this as an important step in the direction of balancing political discourse on campus — saying conservative voices receive no outward institutional support — others believed that the school did not go far enough to promote right-wing ideology.

Spurred to action by the perceived communist reputation of the University — mainly from its tuition handouts to lowincome students — the General Assembly stepped into the public education system once again to create the School of Ultranationalism and Autocracy.

“The liberal bias of the University is the worst-kept secret in the state,” a prominent administrator said. “Our professors glee-

UNC students withdraw en masse after drought at Old Well

DOROTHEA DICKS/TECHNICIAN

*tumbleweed rolls by*

MARGARET THATCHER/TECHNICIAN

The School of Ultranationalism and Autocracy will be a haven for all true red-blooded conservatives and Fox News enthusiasts, free of the pronouns polluting campus life.

Water Enthusiast

“Where did all the water even go?”

This is the question that echoed across campus on the first day of spring classes when thousands of students lined up to have a drink from the Old Well — only to find it empty.

At the start of each semester, Tar Heels line up to have a drink from the Old Well, convinced its magic will bring them good grades in the commencing term. Upon finding the well dry, students began to panic.

Emily Francis Davie, a first-year studying environmental science, was one of the first people in line to drink from the well.

She said she felt all her academic confidence disappear upon learning the well was dry.

“It doesn’t feel like the best omen to start your freshman year with,” Davie said. “I’m rethinking everything.”

Laura Hinton James, professor of environmental science, said she was confused as to why students didn’t expect the well to be empty, given the severe and heavilytelevised drought plaguing the entirety of the state.

“They have to know about droughts, right? We’ve taught them about droughts,” James said. “I’m not sure where the misunderstanding was. Maybe if we’d spent more time teaching them how wells work instead

Gossip ;)

Gameday, February 1, 2024

Horoscopes for Heels

13

Fern Windsong Staff Astrologist

Capricorn Daddy got a raise! Expect to receive a portion of the check this week — spend wisely!

Aquarius

It’s too mainstream to frequent Cat’s Cradle, Aquarius. Instead, embark on a journey of self-discovery at the Haw River Ballroom in Saxapahaw.

Pisces

Hone in on your dreamy, artistic nature by taking a trip to the Ackland Art Museum. Listen to shoegaze on the trip there.

REVEALED: Too horn-y? Rameses’ leaked DMs expose “embarrassing” messages to rival Ms. Wuf

Aries

Control your anger this week, Aries.

There’s only room for one ram on campus.

Taurus

Take a trip to Weaver Street Market and indulge in an organic, non-GMO, cage-free treat of your choice — you needed this.

Gemini

It’s time for you to delve into your witty way with words and join a debate club, further proving the Model U.N.-to-UNCundergrad pipeline exists.

Cancer

This is a hard time for you as mommy isn’t there at your beck and call. Schedule some time to chat with your No. 1 fan.

Leo

Lacking the external validation you crave?

Get on the apps, Leo. Better yet, join UNC’s very own Bumble ambassadors program.

Virgo

Perfectionism is in your nature, virtuous Virgo, but it serves you to not always have a stick up your butt.

Libra

It’s time for a style revamp, Libra. Take a trip to Uniquities for an economical wardrobe refresh.

Scorpio

Get in touch with your water element of matter and sensual nature by skinny dipping in the well after hours.

Sagittarius

Let your crunchy nature shine through by hanging a hammock in Polk Place for all to see. Don’t forget to pack your Tevas!

Comics

14 TECHNICIAN THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

Animal Fact

Jordan Ramsey, Staff Cartoonist A third-year studying art and design Sheep in Wolf’s Clothing

Avery Szakacs, Staff Cartoonist A third-year studying art and design

Not Like the Movies

Waterworks

Sophie Gabriel, Staff Cartoonist A third-year studying art and design

Lucy Osborn, Staff Cartoonist A third-year studying art and design

TECHNICIAN 15

Opinion TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

GUEST COLUMNS

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

The Wolfpack is middle of the Pack in offering reproductive health services My time at NC State shaped my professional and persona l life immensely. I was a leader in the student environmental group and got a great education in natuKelley Dennings ral resources. I met my partner of 25 years while NC State on campus, and I also alumna and campaigner had my first pregnancy at the Center scare after learning that for Biological some antibiotics can reDiversity duce the efficacy of birth control pills. Luckily, the student health center was there to provide resources and support.

My experiences at NC State inspired me to work at the intersection of health and the environment. Today I’m a campaigner at the Center for Biological Diversity, where I address reproductive health, gender equity and the climate and extinction crises. Part of that work is advocating for gender-empowerment options on college campuses across the country.

To that end, my colleagues and I recently analyzed university websites for

the availability of sexual and reproductive health resources and education at 22 colleges and universities that have wildlife mascots, including NC State.

NC State did pretty well in our ranking, tying for eighth place out of 22 schools.

The Wolfpack scored big points for offering emergency contraception at the campus health center, covering contraception on the student health insurance plan, providing a full range of women’s health services, offering free condoms and providing confidential HIV and STI testing.

NC State also scored points for providing class lectures on human sexuality and having student groups like the Pack Peers, a peer education program that brings together students who want to be leaders in healthcare, health education and wellness.

But the Wolfpack missed out on crucial points by not offering students information about sterilization or abortions; failing to provide reproductive health information via a text line, newspaper or radio station; and not listing information online about the reproductive health

support offered through residential advisors, such as whether or not they offer free condoms or hold informational sessions.

Additional points could have also been earned if the student health insurance plan covered contraception without copays or deductibles, if emergency contraception options were free at the student health center pharmacy and if STI and HIV testing was free.

It’s important that campuses provide sexual and reproductive health services and comprehensive and inclusive sex education to students. Access to contraception improves college graduation rates by 12%; however, many first-year students arrive on campus with little knowledge of sexual and reproductive health.

Only 29 states and Washington, D.C. mandate sex education in high schools.

Of those, 13 don’t require the content to be evidence-informed, medically accurate and complete. Young people today are less likely to receive information about birth control during formal sex education than they were 25 years ago.

In North Carolina, public schools are

required to teach sex education. The curriculum must be medically accurate but is not required to be comprehensive. The curriculum is also not required to include instruction on sexual orientation, gender identity or consent.

This work is so important to me because advancing reproductive health, sex education and gender equity on campuses like NC State doesn’t just improve the health of students; it improves the health of the planet, too.

Population pressure and our endlessgrowth economy increase the demand for water, land, trees and fossil fuels. Gender empowerment through voluntary family planning helps by allowing every person the ability to decide when — and if — they want to start a family.

Let campus leadership know it’s important that NC State continue to provide crucial reproductive health services on campus, and point out where they fall short. As students, you can use your voices to speak up for the health of people and the planet.

Nor th Carolina w ill have its president ia l, state and local primary elections on March 5 where voters choose the party nominees for the November general elecGerry tion. There are a lot of Cohen fast approaching deadMember of the Wake Board of lines coming up for those Elections wanting to vote.

First piece of advice: Your one-stop shop for information is the North Carolina State Board of Elections website at ncsbe.gov.

Important dates: Friday, Feb. 9 at 5 p.m. is the regular voter registration deadline. At the North Carolina State Board of Elections website, click “Voter Search” to check your voter registration. If you are not registered in North Carolina or

your registration needs to be updated for a different address or county, click the “Registering” tab. If you have a North Carolina driver’s license or NCDMV non-operator ID, there is a link to go to the NCDMV website to register online or update your current voter registration address.

Alternatively, whether or not you have a North Carolina ID, there is a link to print out a paper voter registration form to mail in. Generally, students living in Wake County — including on college campuses — who are U.S. citizens and 18 years of age can register to vote in Wake County.

If you want to vote by mail, click “Voting” then “Vote By Mail.” Any North Carolina voter can vote by mail. You can apply online for an absentee ballot until Feb. 27 — though I encourage voters go-

ing that route to apply by Feb. 20.

Voters can vote early in Wake County at any of 13 sites that are open 17 consecutive days from Feb. 15 to March 2, with 12 weekdays 8 a.m. to 7:30 p.m., three Saturdays 8 a.m. to 3 p.m., and two Sundays 1-6 p.m. One of the sites is the Talley Student Union.

Voter registration is available onsite at early voting. Students in NC State housing can log into MyPack Portal and click “Personal Information” and “Addresses” to access the “Print Address Verification” link. You can print a hard copy or show that screen on their device to the election official at early voting in Talley Student Union. Election officials will assist you with your registration.

Off-campus students wanting to register in Wake County at early voting must show documents with their current ad-

dress, such as a utility bill, and may find it easier to register by Feb. 9. Persons already registered in Wake County needing to update their address within the county do not need any documents to do so during early voting.

In the primary election, Democratic, Republican and libertarian voters will get their party ballot. Unaffiliated voters will choose which ballot they want when checking in to vote. Unaffiliated voters voting by mail need to choose a party primary ballot on their application form.

Voters must show a photo ID to vote. A North Carolina driver license is acceptable, and NC State students, faculty and staff may instead show their NC State ID to satisfy the requirement.

Finally, if you don’t vote early or by mail you can vote at your assigned polling place on March 5.

How to vote in North Carolina’s March 5 presidential primary

Opinion

16 TECHNICIAN THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

The path to the presidency starts with laughter D

oe s a nyone remember our elementary school days when t he world was full of possibilities and our optimism was at an all-time Mark high? During those days, Mikhail Correspondent our teachers would ask t he age-old quest ion, “What would you like to be when you grow up?”

Classrooms were usually brimming with aspiring doctors or budding veterinarians. However, there was always that one classmate, the perennial overachiever, who would raise their hand and confidently declare a dream that was seemingly one in a billion: to become the president of the United States.

In my class, the kid who responded with that answer was clearly the most naturally bright young individual in my school. Not a single soul questioned them when they said they wanted to be president. Looking back on the event now, I laugh at our class’s naivete.

Presumably, he was the man most capable of the job. He had astute decisionmaking skills and was the most determined of my class. However, if we were to learn anything from the presidency of Joe Biden, it is that these qualities don’t matter in the slightest.

In this day and age, there’s one quality

that stands out above all others when it comes to the presidency: the ability to make people laugh.

I know it sounds preposterous; however, let’s consider recent presidencies.

Du ri ng former President Dona ld Trump’s first presidential debate, Fox News debate moderator Megyn Kelly was going to ask a rather reasonable question about Trump’s past statements on women.

She initially said, “You’ve called women you don’t like ‘fat pigs,’ ‘dogs,’ ‘slobs’ and ‘disgusting animals’.”

Trump’s infamous interruption was, “Only Rosie O’Donnell.”

Although undoubtedly crude and misogynistic, the “ joke” landed and was the most re-watched clip of the night for months after. Trump ended on top of the polls in his first debate and created a path to the presidency and to the comedic spotlight.

While it’s true that Donald Trump may not be everyone’s preferred source of comedic relief, there’s no denying that he occupies a unique space in comedy. People are drawn to him because they either laugh alongside or at him. I mean, who doesn’t immediately associate the word “Trump” with something laughable?

The idea of finding humor in someone or something, even if it involves laughing at them, is a broader comedic concept that extends beyond just Donald Trump’s

Something on your mind?

Want to respond to an article? Email your thoughts to technician-editor@ncsu.edu and technician-opinion@ ncsu.edu. Check online for Letter to the Editor and Guest Column guidelines.

presidency. It extends to most of our recent presidents.

How many times do you laugh at Biden’s dimwittedness that manifests in incoherent sentences? Or didn’t you chuckle at President George W. Bush saying, “Now, watch this drive” after warning us of the threats of international terrorism?

Both Bush and Biden may not intentionally strive to be humorous, but the stark contrast between their high-ranking positions and some of their actions often results in unintended comedic moments.

In recent years, what president hasn’t been unintentionally or purposefully humorous? President Biden is our 46th president. If you look at our most recent presidents, the last president to not be overtly humorous was probably President Jimmy Carter, our 39th president, whose administration ended over 40 years ago.

Undoubtedly, his dullness ruined his presidency in the end, and the charismatic President Ronald Reagan humiliated him in the 1980 presidential election by an electorate score of 489-49.

The need for political leaders to possess a sense of humor is not limited solely to the free world’s leaders. Even dictators need to win the laughs of their constituency to win their hearts.

Authoritarian leaders in strict regimes also employ humor to connect with their

citizens. For instance, President Xi Jinping of the People’s Republic of China and President Vladimir Putin of Russia often attempt to portray themselves as relatable individuals.

This occasionally leads to moments of absurdity, where you find yourself chuckling at the sight of someone so influential engaging in everyday activities.

There are even instances where these leaders have appeared in videos together, cooking pancakes or showcasing their skills in activities like judo, which adds to their efforts in presenting a more approachable image.

Xi also offers comedic relief by being made fun of, drawing comparisons to Winnie the Pooh in China and abroad and hilariously acting as the authoritarian that he is in censoring the Disney character throughout the country.

The demand for our political leaders to possess comedic qualities underscores our elections’ often absurd and superficial nature. Nowadays, political campaigns resemble popularity contests more than ever, placing less emphasis on one’s political stances and more on their ability to present them. So, for those of you in political science courses with high aspirations, it may be worth working on your stand-up over completing that essay.

Sports

TECHNICIAN 17

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THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

The perfect storm Ben Ellis

Senior Sports Writer

Sometimes, the stars align and everything seems to come together in a perfect storm. That’s what happened Feb. 16, 2007 in Reynolds Coliseum for NC State women’s basketball.

The Wolfpack was coached by the legendary Kay Yow, who was undoubtedly the best coach in school history. The alltime great won four ACC championships with NC State and took the team to 23 NCAA Tournaments, including the program’s only Final Four in 1998.

Up until that point in the season, NC State had been having a good year, entering with an 18-8 record. But for senior night, the red-and-white was set to play the then-No. 2 Tar Heels, who beat the Pack 86-65 earlier in the season in Chapel Hill.

Going into the game, it wasn’t even certain that Yow would be able to coach.

Yow had taken a two-month leave to treat a cancer recurrence at the beginning of the season, and even after returning, she had to be taken home from practice via ambulance the day before the game.

However, Yow returned the day of the game, and both players and assistant coaches were inspired and motivated seeing their coach battle adversity to rejoin the team. Jenny Palmateer, who played for Yow from 1989-93 and was an assistant on the 2007 team, vividly remembers the way Yow battled through adversity to be with the team.

“To see [Yow] going through that battle, it was hard to watch, but it fired up all of us in such a unique way that I think it actually brought out the best in us,” Palmateer said. “What could have really sucked the wind out of our sails, … it served to actually ignite and energize our team in a way that I’m not sure we could have done it any other way.”

Yow’s return could not have come at a more poetic time. Prior to the game, the court at Reynolds Coliseum was dedicated as “Kay Yow Court” in honor of the coach, who did not know about the unveiling until it occurred and was both surprised and humbled.

“If there was ever a more deserving person, I don’t know who that would be,” Palmateer said. “She would never expect it, she would never want it. To see her reaction, in her typical servant-leader style, give credit to everybody else in that moment, it was very special.”

The game couldn’t have started much

PEGGY BOONE/ARCHIVE

In this archive photo taken on Feb. 16, 2007, after defeating North Carolina 72-65, senior center Gillian Goring shares an embrace with senior guard Ashley Key. The players were surrounded by students who rushed the newly named Kay Yow Court.

better for NC State, who led by as many as 26 in the first half and held a 46-27 lead at halftime. Someone who didn’t know any better would’ve said that between the two teams, the Pack was playing like the No. 2 team in the country.

But the Heels weren’t done just yet, climbing their way back into the game in the second half and cutting the deficit to 66-63 with two minutes remaining.

However, a long 2-point jumper by Ashley Key with 1:36 left gave the Pack some much-needed breathing room, making the score 68-63.

UNC got it back to three with 21.3 seconds left, but the Pack iced it at the freethrow line to secure the 72-65 win. A feeling of both relief and euphoria erupted

over Reynolds Coliseum as the students stormed the court in celebration of beating both the No. 2 team in the country and NC State’s biggest rival.

“It was one of the greatest examples of when a team is playing for each other and playing for a bigger purpose other than a win or a loss, what that feels like, what that looks like and what the result of that was,” Palmateer said. “I don’t know that I’ve ever been a part of anything before that, and I don’t know that I’ve ever been a part of anything since that equals what that was.”

The win was a testament to the resilience and determination of Yow, who fought through the difficulties of cancer to be with the team and help deliver one

of the biggest wins in school history.

Yow’s legacy continues today through the annual Play4Kay game and through the impact she had on countless players and coaches over the years, including Palmateer, who is now the CEO of the Kay Yow Cancer Fund.

It was truly one of the greatest nights in the history of Reynolds Coliseum, from the Senior Night celebration, to Yow’s return and court dedication, and to cap it off, a win over the No. 2 team in the country — NC State’s archrival UNC. No matter the sport, Reynolds always delivers, especially on that night. The fans who stormed the court perhaps symbolized it the best: a perfect storm.

Sports

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TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

TechSports: Covering NC State versus UNC since 1920

Ethan Bakogiannis Editor-in-Chief

The life of a Technician sports writer or editor can get pretty hectic. But the vicious, satisfying cycle of running around campus covering games, writing recaps and forcing your eyes open to survive another 2 a.m. print night are all made worth it by being at the center of the NC State sports world.

And at the very middle of that world is the tradition of covering the bitter, age-old rivalry between NC State and UNC-Chapel Hill.

Don’t just take it from me, though. Three generations of Technician sports editors — all separated by 20 years each — will tell it to you firsthand. Writing for Technician, and chronicling the rivalry, changed their lives.

Tim Peeler, a NC State sports historian and aficionado, started his career as a Technician Sports writer and editor in the early and mid 1980s. Witness to the NC State men’s basketball’s exceptional run under head coach Jim Valvano, Peeler was thrown into the fire as a young Technician sports writer.

“The best thing that Technician does, and is for everybody, is the greatest form of experiential education that any college student can have because it throws you in the middle of big and important things,” Peeler said.

To some, there’s nothing bigger or more important than the rivalry between NC State and UNC. “If you’re a newspaper reporter in the state of North Carolina in the ACC tournament and State and Carolina are playing, that’s the best story you could ask for,” Peeler said.

“Duke and Carolina is good too, but going back home, everything centers around NC State-Carolina.”

It’s a rivalry that’s been spurred on by generations of bad blood between the two sets of die-hard fans. Many Technician sports writers, including Peeler, grew up watching and rooting for NC State at home before covering the Pack in person.

Peeler said the memory of NC State men’s basketball suffering a last-second loss to the Tar Heels in 1979 still haunts him. But years later, that moment made covering the rivalry that much more special.

“I was physically ill,” Peeler said. “I did not want to go to school the next day. And hearing stories of that game, which I remember when I was a 14-year-old kid, and then getting to know some of the reporters and some of the people who were covering that game, or at that game, or participating in that game was one of the really, truly great times of my writing career.”

EMILY PEEDIN/TECHNICIAN

In this archive photo taken Nov. 26, 2021, wide receiver Thayer Thomas runs into the end zone during the game versus UNC-Chapel Hill at Carter-Finley Stadium. Thomas had 11 rushing yards at the end of the game. The NC State Wolfpack beat the UNC-Chapel Hill Tar Heels 34-30.

About 20 years after Peeler’s tenure, Andrew Carter, a current News and Observer sports writer, began his storied writing career at Technician. Like Peeler, Carter grew up watching NC State — even at school, when his teacher would wheel in a TV so his class could watch ACC Tournament Fridays.

“I went to State-Carolina games as a spectator when I was in school,” Carter said. “I have fond memories of being in the stands with my friends, and you get into it, and that’s one way to take it in. But then it really is kind of like an indescribable feeling to cover it as a student journalist.”

As a Technician sports writer, you’re at the epicenter of the NC State-UNC rivalry — possibly more than anyone else besides the athletes themselves. Like most Technician sports writers, Carter’s goal was to do right by the classic rivalry.

“As a journalist, but especially a journalist at that point, trying to come up, learn and establish yourself as much as you can back then, you want to do it justice,” Carter said.

“And so I remember just feeling a responsibility to really try to do it justice.”

Fast forward another 20 years, and those sentiments were the exact same for sports

writer and editor Nicholas Schnittker. Covering NC State sports in the late 2010s and early 2020s, Schnittker covered countless iterations of the matchup.

Most notably though, Schnittker was there for NC State football’s miraculous 34-30 comeback win over the Heels in 2021.

After years of suffering at the hands of Carolina — namely in men’s basketball — it’s a win that Wolfpack fans will remember for a long time.

“I think I remember writing the first or second line of that story and it was like, ‘Sometimes NC State fans can have nice things,’” Schnittker said. “And that’s truly what it felt like. It kind of felt like one of those moments where we actually do get something nice for once after a lot of heartbreak against UNC.” However, some of the best NC State-UNC moments from over the years didn’t come from the hardcourt or the gridiron. Shnittker’s favorite memory covering the rivalry came from NC State men’s soccer’s 1-0 win over No. 1 UNC in 2018.

“The students stormed the field, and it was one of the first times as a college writer as I was working the game saw people storming

the field, and it was such a cool experience to be able to cover that game,” Shnittker said.

“Those are the games that you remember and that really make you want to keep doing this.”

In the end, Schnittker said the students, alumni and fans of the two schools, and all of their combined hatred, bitterness and rage, make the rivalry and the experience of writing for Technician.

“You should hate your rival,” Schnittker said. “It’s what makes it fun. And I think that’s what always made it enjoyable to cover — there were always fans. There were plenty of games I covered for different sports where there weren’t a ton of people there — it is what it is — but those games, extra people always showed up to those ones and it was a lot of fun.”

Over the 40-year span between Peeler, Carter and Schnittker, one thing has remained the same: Technician sports’ passion for covering NC State athletics, especially the games against Carolina. They are the games that personify all the exhilarating highs, painstaking lows and unlimited passion that sports fans and Technician sports writers everywhere live for.

Sports

TECHNICIAN 19

TECHNICIANONLINE.COM

THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 1, 2024

Chris Corchiani: The fire behind NC State men’s basketball Noah Teague

Assistant Sports Editor

Every great basketball team needs some fire. Under legendary NC State basketball head coach Jim Valvano there were a number of great players, but only one was dubbed “fire” — Chris Corchiani.

The former McDonald’s All-American led the Wolfpack through the end of the Valvano era, helping steer the red-and-white to multiple NCAA tournaments, a Sweet Sixteen run and its most recent ACC title.

For Corchiani, playing for Valvano was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

“Ultimately, having the opportunity to play for Coach Valvano was the reason I chose NC State,” Corchiani said. “It was the best decision that I made in my athletic career, choosing NC State and playing for Coach V.” Like many NC State players, Valvano left a strong impact on Corchiani. In addition

to helping Corchiani grow as a point guard, Valvano helped him grow off the court.

“I came here as an 18-year-old boy from Miami,” Corchiani said. “He taught me more than just basketball — he taught me how to become a young man with responsibilities.”

Once he got to Raleigh, Corchiani quickly hit the court. While it’s a tough transition going from a McDonald’s All-American dominating high school games to the college level — where only the best of the best compete — Corchiani made the jump as well as anyone could, quickly catching his teammates’ attention.

“I watched him at the McDonald’s game and I was like ‘Ok, this gonna be fun to play with this cat,’” said former NC State forward Chucky Brown. “Chris earned his minutes, came off the bench and showed that he was capable. Once we started getting into ACC play he started and held his

own from there.”

Corchiani’s toughness helped him successfully establish himself early on. Toughness was critical when competing on one of the best teams in the ACC, while also facing several talented teams such as North Carolina, Duke and Maryland. During his time in Raleigh, Corchiani backed down from nobody.

“Sometimes when you have a white dude at the point, sometimes the brothers try to jump on him,” Brown said. “Chris was feisty and was willing to fight, his toughness was the main thing that stuck out for me. In games when you see a guy that’s willing to fight for himself, you’re down to fight for him yourself.”

After a strong freshman season, Corchiani took on a bigger role as a sophomore, averaging 32 minutes per game. The season unfolded spectacularly for the Pack as the team won the 1989 ACC championship and

advanced to the Sweet Sixteen in the NCAA Tournament.

Read more about Corchiani’s legendary career with the Wolfpack here:

Notice of Unclaimed Property

In accordance with N.C. Gen. Stat. § 15-12, the North Carolina State University Police Department hereby gives notice regarding unclaimed property currently in its possession, including items in the following categories: Cell phones Computers Electronic Accessories Cameras

Keys Tools Wallets/Purses/Bags Personal Documents

Camping Equipment Bicycles Money Clothing

Any person who may have or claim any interest in any of these items must call the NC State Police Department at (919) 515-8106 or submit an inquiry via email to crimeprevention@ncsu.edu no later than March 2, 2024, which is 30 days from the date of publication of this notice. These items will be disposed of in accordance with N.C. Gen. Stat. § 15-12 after that date.