RACE STARTS SATURDAY AT THE NOON WHISTLE ON THE ARCATA PLAZA – GET THERE BY 10 AM TO SEE THE BRAKE TEST AND PAGEANTRY!
www.kineticgrandchampionship.com SPECIAL INSERT TO THE NORTH COAST JOURNAL • THURSDAY, MAY 21, 2015
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In order to help Glorious Spectators understand what those crazy kinetic people are doing, Kinetic Universe presents...
Severely Abridged Rules for the Kinetic Grand Championship For a complete list of rules (really, there’s LOTS more) go to kineticgrandchampionship.com Rule A - Amusement is the gift we give and get, so all KGC participants, volunteers, spectators, and innocent bystanders must try their best to have FUN at all times. Insistence on irritability will earn you a time penalty based on the severity of your attitude, and possibly even the “Poor Pitiful Me Award.” Rule B - Bodies are our only Batteries. All energy used to move your sculpture forward on the course must be Kinetic, not potential, which means no batteries or other form of stored energy can be used for propulsion except for the calories stored in your Pilots. Acceptable energy sources include: Pilots, wind, sun, gravity, and friendly aliens (from another planet, not another country) as long as they are presented to Offi shuls before the start of the race. *ACE RULE Rule C - California Vehicle Code section 35100 (a) - Sculptures must be less than 8 feet wide and less than 14 feet tall when on a public road. Rule D - Danger is part of the game, so all KGC participants must be 12 or older. The Pilot in physical control of the sculpture (steering) must be 16 or older, Steering Pilots 16-17 must have a valid Driver License. Pedaling Pilots (not steering) must be 14 or older. Rule F - Feet on the street. If your feet have to touch the
ground for your sculpture to move forward, it’s not a Kinetic Sculpture. *ACE RULE Rule FunGUY - All participants, must read the rules at least once. Rule G - Grappling hooks, projectiles, anchors and anything else which is inherently dangerous to KGC participants or spectators are prohibited on the course. *ACE RULE Rule H - Happiness. If you ain’t got it, fake it. (see Rule A) Rule I - If you need it you have to have it on your sculpture. Floatation equipment, special tires, basic tools, etc; to ACE, you need to carry it all with you. *ACE RULE Rule II - In addition ALL teams must have these items to race: One per pilot: sleeping bag which they can actually fit in. One per pilot: implement of oral hygiene (no toothpicks). One per team: A soothing item of psychological reassurance no smaller than a coffee cup, since your Mom won’t be there to love and support you. If your Mom is on your team, then SHE must bring a soothing item of her own. Rule J - Just in case we think of something else, we’ll leave this one blank. Rule K - Kamping is required at Crab Park. Rule L - Leaving the course is not allowed. If one of your pilots goes into labor they can have an hour or so to pop the little bugger
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out, and get back to the course. Rule L-A-W - Laws of the Land still apply in the Kinetic Universe. Rule M - Moving laterally is legal. *ACE RULE Rule P - Pilots you start with have to do the whole course without switching out. *ACE RULE Rule P too - Pit Crews may not touch a sculpture on the course unless they’re in a “Legal Push Zone.” Rule Q - Quick exit paths from your sculpture must be planned and practiced by Pilots. Rule R - Right of way to the swift/loud. Pilots must yield to faster moving vehicles if honked at. Rule RQ - Rutabaga Queens are to be bribed. Rule WAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa Washing out to sea would really mess up your glorious time, so the Sheriff’s Marine Posse will set a “Drift Limit” on the water. *ACE RULE Rule X - Xray vision and/or any other super power may not be used to sneak a peek at race results or prizes before the Awards Ceremony. Rule Y - Youths (and youths at heart) too young or too old to pedal...get to be a Barnacle. You’ll need to be at least 12 years old, and weigh at least 100 pounds, to be a Barnacle, but your team gets a time bonus for carrying you all the way from Arcata to Ferndale.
Race Schedule for the Kinetic Grand Championship 2015
Saturday, May 23
10:00 - NOON Arcata Plaza Teams make their way around the square past the art, engineering, and pageantry judges. Walk around and see the different teams show off and “test their brakes.” At NOON, the Race Starts! At the noon whistle, all of the teams will swarm the plaza in a big Le Mans style start. Spectators must clear the road until all the teams and Pit Crews leave the Plaza! Manila Dunes Party Racers will pit stop, and prepare to take their sculptures onto the sand. Spectators are welcome to follow the racers through the dunes on foot, out onto the beach for a few miles, then back into “June’s Dunes” to head up Dead Man’s Drop. Dead Man’s Drop Alternative to hiking along the beach, spectators can skip the sand and go straight from the Manila Dunes Community Center back out Peninsula Drive to 255, then south to the Samoa Bridges. There you can park and follow the crowds up the race course into the dune forest and out to Dead Man’s Drop: a 100 foot sand dune with a serious left hand pitch. The machine that rolls over the most spectacularly wins a special prize. Bring WATER, sunscreen and bug spray. Halvorsen Park Finish Line Party on the Eureka Waterfront The finish line for the day is at Halvorsen. Get an up-close look at the Kinetic Sculptures after their long day of scrapes and trials. Food, family activities, and a beer garden by New Belgium Brewery.
Sunday , May 24
9:30-10:30 Teams arrive and prepare to enter the water from the public marina near the Wharfinger Building. Find a spot along the shore to watch teams enter the water one by one, and (hopefully) make their way floating on the bay. Follow along the waterfront or enjoy the view from the bay on your own small watercraft. Teams will exit at the public boat ramp under the Samoa Bridge, then race through Old Town Eureka to their next stop. Pit Stop at Eureka Natural Foods Teams stop and eat lunch before heading along south Eureka’s waterfront trails. PaLCo Marsh- Behind the Bayshore Mall Hikshari Trail- A great new trail in south Eureka. Walk or bike along, and watch teams navigate the teeny tiny mud trap. Loleta Hill It’s a long uphill climb followed by a white knuckle 7% grade winding down past steep drops into the river valley below. Park on the opposite side of the road, and give them some Glory, they’re going to need it. In the town of Loleta, racers turn down Cannibal Island Road toward the day’s finish line and a racers only campout called Crab Park.
Monday May, 25
1:00 to 4:32 Main St., Ferndale KGC teams will cross the finish line at Main and Brown streets. It takes a few hours for all the teams to make it, some in a mad dash to finish in good time, some being dragged by their battered crews . . . all in GLORY!
MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND MAY 23, 24 & 25, 2015 Streaming Video!
www.kiem-tv.com streamguys.com
DAY 3 MON. MAY 25 1:00-ish
Teams start crossing the FINISH LINE on Main Street Ferndale. Course closed!
Lunch @ ENF
DAY 2 SUN. MAY 24 11:01 a.m.
Machines enter the Bay at the Public Marina , and come out at the Samoa Lunch Bridge boat ramp with the racers (hopefully). Watch at Eureka Natural from the F Street Foods, Noon-ish! Boardwalk!
Halvorsen Park
Waterfront Drive
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4:32
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FINISH LINE PARTY
MANILA DUNES Halvorsen Park, Eureka (Next COMMUNITY to the Adorni Center) Party CENTER with the Kinetic racers! KINETIC FAIR Get an up-close look at the Music, food, drinks, and sculptures. Music. Kinetics on sand Beer Garden. Food.
DAY 1 JUDGING & SAT. RACE START MAY 23 10:00 am until the Noon siren on the Arcata Plaza
SPECIAL INSERT TO THE NORTH COAST JOURNAL • THURSDAY, MAY 21, 2015
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BT METALS Day 3 Eel River crossing made possible by the generosity of R E N T- A L L RENTALS • SALES • SERVICE
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FIGAS CONSTRUCTION