MOMS in Family Medicine

Navigating a Fulfilling Career and Family: Part II

By: Perry Price Manager of Workforce Initiatives

colleagues, and mentors. I recall during a particularly challenging time with my teenage daughter that Dr. Sue Slatkoff gave me guidance and support to feel empowered to ask for time to be present for my teenage daughter, just as I had needed to feel empowered to be home with my younger children.

Who did you look to for advice and guidance when navigating the stages of motherhood in medicine? Whom do you look to today?

Jessica Triche, MD: My residency classmates. Four of us had kids. We leaned on each other. My youngest had neonatal jaundice. My classmate helped me not panic (it was during Christmas holiday and the clinic was closed) and even came over to reassure me. Later, as my kids aged and I became involved in leadership, I talked to Shannon Dowler. She had two boys as well, and her kids are amazing. She told me I could be a great mom and a great leader.

Vickie Fowler, MD: I looked to my female friends,

Kelley Lawrence, MD: Good question. I don’t think there was one person, so I will name a few that were impactful for each of my pregnancies — some female and having traveled the same physiologic paths before me, some male and having an understanding and empathy that was profound: my mom (Jean Vance, who was a full-time teacher and mother), Dr. Teresa Terezis, Dr. Amy Weil, Dr. Charlie Baker, Amelia Henning, CNM, Dr. Wendy Barr, Dr. Kay Nordling, Dr. Mark Higdon, Dr. Jennifer Higdon, Dr. Heather Doty, and Lauren Penwell-Waines, PhD.

Jackée Clement, MD: I was fortunate to have a faculty team leader and mentor in Dr. Kelley Lawrence. She was such an advocate for me to do what was best for my family while maintaining a career in family medicine. I appreciated hearing her stories of having children in residency. In addition, she is a lactation specialist. I definitely used my phone-a-friend privileges often in that department.

Liz Baltaro, MD: I absorbed narratives from physician moms long before I was a mom myself — from the very start of medical school. I had so many sources of inspiration — my parents, my residency program director and advisors, colleagues, faith-based community, our local Moms of Multiples chapter, and non-medical family and friends. More recently, I have enjoyed listening to “Dr. Mama Podcast” created by a family physician, Dr. Alice Kaufman, and found inspiration in JAMA’s “A Piece of My Mind” column, and the novel “We Are All Perfectly Fine” by a Canadian Internist Dr. Jillian Horton.

What advice do you have for young parents balancing their careers and family?

JT: Use available resources! If you don’t have family close by, work out things with your kids’ friends’ parents. Shared rides, alternating practice attendance, etc. Family should come first but, as you will learn, you are pulled in the other direction. At times, you may need to take a step back and really focus on family. It’s ok to miss work for your family. You don’t want regrets. When interviewing, see if you can gauge how family friendly the practice or organization is.

VF: It is important to reset your expectations of yourself, such as what you can accomplish or perhaps should aim to accomplish. The early years are magical and go by very quickly.

KL: My career has had stops and starts that many of my colleagues — who were not physically growing children inside (and outside) of their bodies — did not have. I worried a lot about what that different path would mean for me as a physician; I worried too much. My career has brought me much joy and fulfillment, and my family has even more so. I’m very grateful to have spent the time I did nourishing my children — and I still try to keep that in mind, because my children only have one mom, but others can fill in as docs to my patients or teachers to my medical learners if or when needed.

JC: My advice for young parents who are trying to balance their careers with increasing their family size is that you definitely need to have a plan for what is going to take priority in your life and for how long. When I was taking care of my newborn baby, that was my focus. And I was fortunate enough to not have work interfere with that time. Make sure you know your job’s policy regarding maternity leave. Will you need to go on disability? Will the leave be paid or unpaid? If you are a medical student reading this, please be courageous and ask about these policies. Only in this way will other programs realize that they need to take a second look at their policies if they want to remain competitive.

LB: Medicine in general still feels set up like most doctors have a stay-at-home partner and no caregiving or reproductive needs themselves. Women and mothers who are working in a system like this are bound to face many challenges — these are systemic problems, not personal failings. I still remember a sign on the office of an attending physician mother during my third-year clerkship which said, “You can have it all. You can’t have it all at once.” Now I deeply understand the hardship of combining a caregiving profession with the demands of motherhood. I acknowledge that both medicine and parenting are individualized experiences — unpredictable, uncontrollable with many transitions that require reprioritizing, tough decisions, and sacrifices.

How has being a mother impacted your service as a physician?

JT: It has helped me care for my pediatric population! Easier to reassure parents about “normal” development, or let a mom know that an adolescent attitude is normal! I think having kids keeps me grounded. I put artwork and schoolwork up in my exam rooms, and my patients always ask about my kids. I think this makes me more relatable. I then tell the kids about the compliments, and they like that. Sometimes patients will see us in public and tell them how great their artwork is. They love it!

VF: As with all skills, firsthand experience is the best instructor! As a family physician who cared for obstetrical and pediatric patients during much of my career, I became a much more knowledgeable and empathetic physician due to my own experiences. I can relate much better to my patients who are parents as to their joys and their concerns. Also motherhood gives my life so much more meaning and ensures that I do not lose myself in my work.

KL: Being a mother has given me a visceral understanding of the vulnerability and fear that accompanies any pregnancy problem, any childhood sniffle or cough. It has helped me better communicate with all that in mind with parents and their children of all ages. It has also fulfilled a deep desire to nurture and love that I didn’t even realize I had prior to being a mother.

JC: Overall, being a mother has had a positive impact on my role as a physician, because I am able to provide not only medical knowledge but also first-hand experience with my patients and their families. There are certain things about parenting and caring for another person that you just do not learn from a textbook. And at the very least, getting to see it on a day-to-day basis just helps reinforce what continues on back cover

By Robert W. Shaw and John W. Gibson, Attorneys at Smith, Anderson, Blount, Dorsett, Mitchell & Jernigan, LLP