Issuu

SEPTEMBER 2015

History lessons One-room schools continue to educate about rural past

PLUS Eat your greens Home heat loss and gain Bear trap time machine

SEPTEMBER Vol. 50 • No. 9 Peter A. Fitzgerald ED I TO R

Katherine Hackleman S E NI O R E D I TO R / W R I TE R

James Dulley Janette Hess Barbara Martin Marcus Schneck

CO N T R I B U T I N G CO L U MN I S TS

KEEPING CURRENT News items from across the Commonwealth

W. Douglas Shirk

E N E R G Y M AT T E R S

Don’t fall victim to energy scams

L AY O UT & D ES I G N

Vonnie Kloss A DV E R T I S I NG & C I R CU L AT I O N

Michelle M. Smith M E D I A & M A R K E T I N G S PE CI A L I ST

Penn Lines (USPS 929-700), the newsmagazine of Pennsylvania’s electric cooperatives, is published monthly by the Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, 212 Locust Street, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108-1266. Penn Lines helps 166,000 households of co-op consumermembers understand issues that affect the electric cooperative program, their local coops, and their quality of life. Electric co-ops are not-for-profit, consumer-owned, locally directed, and taxpaying electric utilities. Penn Lines is not responsible for unsolicited manuscripts. The opinions expressed in Penn Lines do not necessarily reflect those of the editors, the Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, or local electric distribution cooperatives. Subscriptions: Electric co-op members, $5.42 per year through their local electric distribution cooperative. Preferred Periodicals postage paid at Harrisburg, PA 17107 and additional mailing offices. POSTMASTER: Send address changes with mailing label to Penn Lines, 212 Locust Street, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108-1266. Advertising: Display ad deadline is six weeks prior to month of issue. Ad rates upon request. Acceptance of advertising by Penn Lines does not imply endorsement of the product or services by the publisher or any electric cooperative. If you encounter a problem with any product or service advertised in Penn Lines, please contact: Advertising, Penn Lines, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Penn Lines reserves the right to refuse any advertising.

F E AT U R E

History lessons One-room schools continue to educate about rural past

12A C O O P E R AT I V E

CO N N ECT I O N

Information and advice from your local electric cooperative

POWER PLANTS

A place for pollinator bees 14

TIME LINES Your newsmagazine through the years

OUT D OOR A DV ENT UR ES

Bear trap time machine 18

COUNTRY KITCHEN

Eat your greens 19

SMART CIRCUITS

Understanding home heat loss, heat gain 20

CLASSIFIEDS

PUNCH LINES

Thoughts from Earl Pitts– Uhmerikun! Board officers and staff, Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association: Chairman, Leroy Walls; Vice Chairman, Tim Burkett; Secretary, Barbara Miller; Treasurer, Rick Shope; President & CEO, Frank M. Betley © 2015 Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without written permission is prohibited.

Earl realizes his water-skiing efforts leave something to be desired

RURAL REFLECTIONS

Carefree summer days are history O N T H E COV E R

Visit with us at Penn Lines Online, located at: www.prea.com/Content/ pennlines.asp. Penn Lines Online provides an email link to Penn Lines editorial staff, information on advertising rates, and an archive of past issues.

The restored, one-room Coulter School, now located on the grounds of the Southern Huntingdon County Middle School/High School, is used as a learning lab. Photo by Kathy Hackleman

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KEEPINGcurrent Flight 93 Visitor Center Complex opens The new Flight 93 National Memorial Visitor Center Complex opens on Sept. 10. The Visitor Center includes permanent exhibits of photographs, artifacts, tactile models, audio and video to convey the Flight 93 story in the context of the other terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. Due to the number of expected visitors and limited space in the center, admission is through timed tickets. Tickets are free of charge. For more information about ticket requirements, visit www.nps.gov./flni or call 877-444-6777. In addition to the Visitor Center, the new Education Center, pedestrian trails and the flight path walkway/overlook will also open Sept. 10. These areas are open to the public and do not require a ticket. Additional observances will include a luminaria service from 7:30 to 9 p.m. Sept. 10 at Memorial Plaza and the anniversary observance at 9:45 a.m. Sept. 11. Both events are free and open to the public.

Penn Lines reader input needed In an attempt to gather ideas of ways to improve Penn Lines, we are sending a four-page reader survey to a small sampling of randomly selected magazine readers. Readers who have been selected to participate will receive the survey in early October. The questionnaire will take just minutes to complete and all responses are kept in strictest confidence. This survey is one of the important ways in which Penn Lines magazine and advertising staff gauges readers’ likes and dislikes, and assists them in determining editorial and advertising content. If you should receive a copy of the survey in the mail, please complete and return it in the provided postage-paid reply envelope. As an added bonus, all those members who return a completed survey will be entered for a chance to win a prize. l 4

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Penn Lines needs your anniversary entries Penn Lines will be observing its 50th anniversary in 2016, and we want our readers to be a part of the celebration, so we are looking for your “well-traveled” and “well-aged” copies of Penn Lines. To document where Penn Lines copies have traveled, please send us a photo of you holding a magazine in front of a recognizable landmark or a sign that tells where you are. The reader who submits the photo from the longest distance away from Harrisburg, Pa., will receive a $50 gift card. We also want to document the oldest copy still held by a cooperative member. Please send a photo of you holding your oldest magazine with the publication date (or front cover) visible. Please note with your submission the month and year of the magazine you have. The reader who submits a photo of himself or herself holding the oldest magazine will also receive a $50 gift card. Some of the entries will be published in the 2016 issues of Penn Lines. Please email your entries to editor@prea.com, or mail them to Penn Lines Editor, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108-1266. Include your name, address, telephone number, email (if available) and the cooperative that serves your residence or business.

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ENERGYmatters Donâ€™t fall victim to energy scams

has run its course, scammers are always coming up with new stories to steal consumersâ€™ personal information.

By Thomas Kirk

Weâ€™ve all come to realize that today is not the day a Nigerian prince gives us his fortune, but many people donâ€™t realize how much more sophisticated scam emails have become. Many of these emails will mimic emails from legitimate sources and contain personal information such as your name, address, bank name and more. Unfortunately this information is not difficult to find and can make otherwise sensible people send back sensitive information or click a link in the email. If you open an email that you suspect is a scam or asks for private information, you can always call your utility to confirm its authenticity. Just donâ€™t click the link first.

ACROSS THE United States, cases of fraud and identity theft are at all-time highs. In 2014 alone, there were over 40,000 cases of phone- or utilities-related fraud, or 118 cases every day. Energy scams are becoming more sophisticated and prevalent, and itâ€™s possible for anyone to be tricked by them. The best way to stay safe is to be aware of some of the common ploys, be suspicious of free energy claims and to contact your electric cooperative if anything seems amiss.

Phone scams In the summer of 2012, thousands of consumers from coast-to-coast, including members of electric cooperatives, fell prey to a telephone scam promising bogus help with energy bills. The criminals claimed that President Barack Obama had authorized a special federal program to pay electric bills. Then, they asked each victim to provide personal information, such as a bank routing number or a Social Security number to receive the payment. Although this particular scam

As the research and development arm of the National Rural Electric Cooperative Association, CRN pursues innovative solutions that helQ 1FOOTZM WBOJB electric cooperatives deliver safe, reliable, and affordable power to their consumer-members.

PENN

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Door to door Even in the digital age, there are still scams being perpetuated face to face. Typically these scams target the elderly or people who may not speak English well, who may be easier to intimidate. Claiming to be from your cooperative (or associated in some way), they will tell you that something is wrong (bill past due, equipment missing or broken) and that you need to pay them money immediately or be disconnected. Electric cooperatives do not demand payment like this in the field and do not go to a memberâ€™s house unless there is a scheduled appointment. Again, if you want to check if the person at your door is a cooperative employee, call your local electric cooperative.

Product scams Weâ€™ve all been taught that if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. This is almost always the case with â€œmiracleâ€? devices that claim to reduce energy use without providing a sensible explanation for how they work. In May 2008, the

Texas Office of Attorney General took legal action against a firm offering what it called the Xpower Energy Saver or Mega Power Saver â€” a $300 small gray box that plugged into an electrical outlet at your home and promised to cut electric bills by 10 percent. Testing by the University of Texas in Austin revealed these devices couldnâ€™t deliver their promised savings. In addition, the lab revealed that the products are, in reality, ordinary capacitors. Capacitors are regularly used by electricians, and they can be purchased for less than $20. While this gadget is now off the market, you can be sure that similar products will spring up to take its place. Avoid energy scams with these tips: k Always guard your personal accounting and banking information, and never share this information with family, friends, or strangers. k Remember â€” your electric cooperative will NEVER call and ask for sensitive personal information over the phone. k Only use methods authorized by your electric cooperative to pay your bills. k Cooperative employees visit a home only in response to a service request. If a service call has not been scheduled or requested, do not allow the person to enter your house. k When an employee does respond to a service call, check identification and make sure the service truck is clearly marked with the proper logo. By following these steps, you can avoid falling for many common energy scams, and if you are looking to save money on your energy bill, or understand your bill better, contact your local electric cooperative. They can help you find real ways to save. l Thomas Kirk is a technical research analyst specializing in energy efficiency and renewable energy for the Cooperative Research Network (CRN), a service of the Arlington, Va.-based National Rural Electric Cooperative Association.

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PENNlines

HISTORY LESSONS

By K at h y H ac k l e m a n S e n i o r E d i t o r / Wr i t e r

One-room schools continue to educate about rural past

ileen Pisaneschi remembers walking to the Frenchville School — a one-room schoolhouse located near her family’s rural home in Clearfield County — to attend class, but her childhood memories don’t end there. She can still hear the older students reciting their lessons, and she remembers walking to a neighbor’s house to fetch drinking water. She can close her eyes and see herself rocketing down a high hill on a sled during winter lunch breaks. Today, she stands on the same rise and marvels at how small the hill really is. Sixty-five years after she first set foot in the Frenchville School as a student, she owns the house she grew up in, as well as the oneroom schoolhouse where she attended grades one through six.

Lorraine Hamilton, a retired teacher and member of Valley Rural Electric Cooperative, opposite page, holds a Christmas ornament depicting the one-room Coulter School. The ornaments, made of the tin from the school’s original roof, are sold to raise funds for the continued restoration and maintenance of the school. Coulter School, originally located in Huntingdon County’s Tell Township, near left, is now located on the grounds of the Southern Huntingdon County Middle School/High School near Three Springs. YESTERDAY TO TODAY:

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PENNlines “There are a lot of good memories here,” she says. “We got a good education. The little ones sat in the front. When the older ones were having class in the back, the little ones were paying attention.”

Family history Pisaneschi’s history with the school goes back before her first day of school in 1950. In fact, her mother’s perfect attendance record for the 1915-16 academic year hangs on the schoolhouse wall. Edith Perrot Voinchet spent all eight years of her education at the Frenchville School. Due to lack of transportation, she did not go on to high school, as was typical a century ago. Pisaneschi’s uncle and aunt also went to the Frenchville School, along with her four siblings. By the time she entered school, it held only first through sixth grades, with between 30 and 35 total students. “I remember we would all come in in MY OLD SCHOOL: Eileen Pisaneschi, a member of United Electric Cooperative, remembers walking to Frenchville School, a one-room school located near her family’s home in rural Clearfield County to attend first through sixth grades. Pisaneschi, now the owner of the school, opens it to the public for reunions and tours.

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the morning,” she says. “The first thing we would do is say the Lord’s Prayer, read the Bible and pledge to the flag. Lessons would start with the younger kids and go back through the older ones. We had arithmetic, grammar, reading and penmanship.” Students dispersed to their nearby homes for lunch, except during the winter, when they would bring food in a lunchbox, eat, and then have recess. “There were two coat rooms, one for boys and one for girls,” she recalls. “In the winter, we would leave our lunches in there. Sometimes, our lunches would freeze and we would put them by the stove to defrost before we could eat.” Pisaneschi, a member of DuBois-based United Electric Cooperative and a cooperative director since 2003, completed her public school education in Clearfield, and went on to become the business manager and board secretary at the Clearfield County Career & Technology Center. The Frenchville School, which was built in 1914, closed in 1961 with school consolidation. It was sold by Clearfield School District to the township, which used it for meetings and community events until 1990, when the township sold

the building through a bid process. “I wanted it because it represented so much of my childhood and my community,” Pisaneschi says. She and her late husband, Francis, submitted the high bid and became the new owners of the little brick schoolhouse. Her mother, who had served for years as the school board secretary, was thrilled, Pisaneschi reports. So were former students and their families, who began to gift Pisaneschi with school records and other memorabilia. “Many of the official records were destroyed years ago when there was a flood where they were stored in Clearfield,” she says. “When I bought the schoolhouse, people would call me and say, ‘I have some of the records,’ and they would bring them to me. I bought desks, or people gave them to me. If people didn’t give it to me, I bought it.” Twenty-five years after purchasing the building, Pisaneschi has a restored oneroom schoolhouse with period desks, books, maps and wall hangings. She opens the building to anyone interested in viewing it, and also hosts an open house during the biennial reunion of all

PRESERVING HISTORY: Bob Schmucker, a member of Somerset Rural Electric Cooperative, holds a calendar featuring the Glade School, now located near its original location south of Berlin. Schmucker was the driving force behind the Berlin Area Historical Society’s work to restore the school, inset.

one-room schools in Covington Township (the next one is in September 2016). Former students and guests sign their names on the blackboard, which is covered with signatures, many of people who have since passed on. The blackboard signatures provide a pleasant memory for Pisaneschi, although not all of her blackboard memories are that enjoyable. “I remember having to stand in the corner,” she recalls with a chuckle. “The teacher would draw a circle on the board and I would have to stand on tiptoe with my nose in the circle as a reminder that I shouldn’t talk so much.”

Changing times One-room schoolhouses like Pisaneschi’s were once scattered throughout much of rural America. Education, once thought to be the responsibility of family, began to be considered a community responsibility in the early to mid1800s, and small schools were constructed to educate the area’s youth. As automobiles, and motor transportation in general, became more prevalent after World War II, there was a shift toward larger, centralized schools, and one-room schools that were not turned into residences, hunting

camps or community buildings began to fall into disrepair. The final few remaining one-room public schools in Pennsylvania were closed in the 1960s during a reorganization of the state’s school districts. Decades before the state reorganization, the Shanksville-Stony Creek School District was formed in Somerset County, bringing together many smaller schools into one district in 1929. That the Glade School, located south of Berlin, survives and even thrives today as a monument to living history is a matter of it being in the right place at the right time. Located down the hill from the Unity United Church of Christ, the school sat empty for a couple of years before the owner donated it to the church in 1931. The church attached the schoolhouse to its sanctuary and used it as a social hall and Sunday school room until 2001. While its schoolhouse character was altered, the building was well-maintained by the church for 70 years until the former Glade School no longer fit into the church’s building plan. The church then offered the building and an acre of land to the Berlin Area Historical Society if it was willing to restore the school. Coincidentally, Somerset Rural Electric Cooperative member Bob Schmucker, a childhood church attendee, had retired

from teaching in the Pittsburgh area and moved back to Somerset County. He heard about the church’s offer and was determined to make sure the restoration plan was approved. “I thought we should do it, and I said that if the historical society decided to go ahead with the project, I would see that it got done,” Schmucker says. “Being a teacher and the son of a teacher who taught in a one-room school, I thought we needed to recognize the era of one-room school teachers and students. I felt strongly this was a period of education history that would soon be lost if it was not preserved. I didn’t have a clue how I was going to do it, but I had it in my mind that if it could be done, I was going to do it.” “Because Shanksville-Stonycreek was the first Pennsylvania school district to consolidate, there were only a few living former students,” Schmucker says. “In 2001, we found only 11, but they were invaluable in the restoration. Unfortunately, none of them are left.” But it was their input that would guide Schmucker and the historical society. The structure’s main level is an authentic replication of the school, while a basement — not true to the original plan — provides storage and display areas for period memorabilia. When it was attached to the church, the building had modern oak flooring, which Schmucker removed to allow the original floor to anchor the room. “What you see is what it was like originally,” he says. “The building is painted red because I stripped it down paint layer by paint layer to see what the original color was. I did the same inside; it was dark blue.” Most of the work to move the structure across the road and onto its new foundation was done by volunteers. Students from the Somerset Technology

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PENNlines Center built the foundation and prisoners from the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections Outreach Program spent six months on the finish work. “We could not have done it without the volunteers, the vo-tech boys and the prisoners,” he says. “When we needed something done, someone appeared to do it.” As far as furnishings, many area residents donated period items, including

County Education Foundation, the oneroom Coulter School was moved several miles from its original location in Tell Township to the Southern Huntingdon County School District’s Middle School/High School near Three Springs. Just as one teacher spearheaded the Somerset County project, so did another teacher lead the restoration of the Coulter School. In Huntingdon County, it was

LEARNING LAB: Members of the Southern Huntingdon County Education Foundation, from left, Rick Knepper, Peggy Stevens, Lorraine Hamilton and Roy Stevens, are dedicated to maintaining the one-room Coulter School, served by Valley Rural Electric Cooperative, as a learning lab for students and a meeting place for adults.

Rick Knepper, a retired history teacher. “This project began as a history department project that ballooned into the entire district faculty,” Knepper reports. “I wanted to find a one-room school, transport it here and refurbish it into a working classroom. I wanted the kids to be able to see what it was like to be in a one-room school.” It took the group only a couple of months to locate a one-room schoolhouse, and the owner, Stephen Hill of Chambersburg, was willing to donate it to the foundation. Knepper says the structure was in bad shape, but volunteers forged ahead, removing the roof, cutting the sides into sections, removing the rafters and transporting it all across the county. In order to meet code requirements at its new location, parts of the building had to be replaced, but the foundation used as much of the original building as possible. With the combination of volunteer labor and hired help, the foundation restored the building, dedicating it in May 2006. Funding was obtained through a combination of donations and fundraisers, including the sale of Christmas ornaments

desks, maps, kerosene lamps, books, report cards, a pot-bellied stove, water coolers and dippers, bells, and other items, from the Glade School, or other area one-room schoolhouses. One attendance book has Schmucker’s father’s name listed among the students. Today, Glade School offers area students a glimpse of what life was like more than 100 years ago. It is open for groups or individuals who want an authentic view of education in a traditional oneroom school. Its ongoing maintenance costs are funded through an endowment with the Berlin Area Historical Society.

Education continues Some 65 miles northeast of Glade School, another group — this time an education foundation — holds the keys to the front door of another restored school. Managed by the Southern Huntingdon 12

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made in the school’s shape from the original tin roof, pavers with donor’s names inscribed on them, and even a cookbook compiled by students’ families. Most of the period furnishings were donated. Co-curators Roy and Peggy Stevens, who are members of Valley Rural Electric Cooperative, report the school holds an open house every fall before the district’s homecoming football game (this year, from 5 to 7 p.m. on Oct. 9), and it’s always available for classroom visits and community events. Peggy Stevens, a retired teacher, and Lorraine Hamilton, also a retired teacher and a member of Huntingdon-based Valley Rural Electric Cooperative, used to teamteach in the one-room school every year. “We would bring third-graders here for the day,” Hamilton explains. “I would dress in period clothing for the day. When we arrived, the boys and girls would line up separately like they would have done back then. Each student was assigned the name of a student who had gone to school here and that’s the name they used all day.” Hamilton and Stevens would present lessons from the late 1800s and early 1900s, focusing on arithmetic, science, memorization, vocabulary, reading and writing (using quill pens Hamilton made). They usually made butter or applesauce, not that students would have cooked at school, but it would have been something they did at home. In addition to serving as a learning lab, the school also is used for foundation meetings, teacher in-service days, and other meetings and alumni visits during reunions. “It’s a very unique resource that most districts don’t have access to,” Knepper noted. “Teachers were the driving force behind it, but without the community support, we wouldn’t have been able to do it.” l

TO TOUR the one-room schools or to make a donation, contact: Frenchville School — Eileen Pisaneschi at 814-2634491; Glade School — Bob Schmucker at 814-233-0072 or the Berlin Area Historical Society at 814-267-5987; and Coulter School — Roy and Peggy Stevens at 814-448-3764 or Lorraine Hamilton at 814-259-3339.

POWERplants

A place for pollinator bees HONEY BEES are dying off. These small insects are critical to our food chain — crucial to the growth and development of many fruits and vegetables, as well as certain forage crops. Any step we can take to help bees thrive is a step in the right direction. A few simple changes to your landscape can make a big difference. Penn State Master Gardeners offer a Pollinator Certification Program to help educate the public about nurturing both domesticated and native bees, complete with guidelines and helpful plant lists. You’ll notice that the “pollinator-friendly” guidelines parallel those for butterfly and wild bird habitats, a wonderful bonus! Bees aren’t “warm and fuzzy.” Bees terrify some; others are deathly allergic to bee stings. But most bees prefer to forage for nectar and pollen and leave people alone. To calmly observe a cloud of “busy bees” working a field of BARBARA MARTIN ,

who says she began gardening as a hobby “too many years ago to count,” currently works for the National Gardening Association as a horticulturist. A former member of Gettysburg-based Adams Electric Cooperative, her articles appear in magazines and on the internet.

by Barbara Martin

blooms is a sight (and sound!) never to be forgotten. Familiarity with pollinators increases our respect for their contribution to our wellbeing. Which is what, exactly? They carry pollen between the flowers of many fruits and vegetables. Without that, we would harvest no apples, no peaches, no cherries. No melons or cucumbers, no pie pumpkins. No sunflowers, no clover or alfalfa for our dairy cows or pet bunnies. And no honey. Whether you are a vegetable and/or flower grower, landscaper or homeowner, you are invited to help out the pollinators. With gentle guidance, your property can live up to its full value, serving as your personal connector to nature, your own natural resource: a repository of wildlife, a seed bank, and now a valuable “bug bank” full of pollinators, too. Beyond any do-gooder aims, we can easily extend the seasonal interests in our yards by exploring bee-friendly native plants. This is an exciting expansion of our plant palette, enhancing esthetics while serving the greater community around us. By including more native plants, we may also loosen our grip on the clippers, trimmers and sprayers, and the water hose. We might relax and allow faded flowers and seed-heads to remain until spring, thus offering shelter to overwintering beneficials.

With pollinators on our radar, we begin focusing on all the insects we encounter and learn to distinguish friend from foe. Eventually we must face our knee-jerk, violently negative response to stinging insects. I notice that the more bees I encounter, the more butterflies and birds are present as well. Children especially are fascinated by all of these creatures who by their presence enrich our day, layering our experience with surprises, serendipity and yes, some hard lessons, too. The more varied the habitat can offer, the more variety occurs “out there” — so much activity happening in that vast microcosm of daily life of the garden as it is linked to the yard, meadow and woods. Honey bees protect their honey within the hive, presenting a mix of both danger and guarded, hidden treasure. It amazes me how honey production is so closely interwoven with the workings of our orchard, berry patch, herb garden, the veggies, the flowers, and yes, even some of

It’s impossible to overstate the importance bees play in our world so consider how you can prevent their demise.

SAVE THE BEES:

the trees we so appreciate. This urgent and problematic bee loss pushes me to consider how we might better co-exist. We need them. And now, perhaps, they need us. Can we retrain ourselves and teach our children to respect the pollinators? To allow worker bees safe passage without interference? Whether we maintain a pleasure garden or we garden for food, how many bees must we tolerate and possibly encourage year-round? Catering to bees may bring both intended and unintended consequences, but there is no happier sound to my ears come January than their gentle “thrum” working the blooms on the native witch hazel, surrounded by snow reflecting the mid-winter sunlight. Magic. Though I might not miss zucchini, a world without apples is unthinkable. I’ll do what I can for the bees. l

SEPTEMBER 2015 • PENN

LINES

TIMElines

Yo u r N e w s m a g a z i n e T h r o u g h t h e Y e a r s

2005 ON SEPT. 30, 1911, a dam constructed by the Bayless Pulp & Paper Company broke apart, releasing a crushing torrent of water, lumber and debris that devastated the rural Potter County communities of Austin and Costello — a tragedy largely forgotten today. Completed by the Bayless Pulp & Paper Company in December 1909 to provide a steady supply of water for the company’s operations, the concrete structure spanned the narrow valley of Freeman Run, one mile upstream from the borough of Austin and three miles north of the village of Costello. At the time, the 540foot-wide dam — then the state’s largest — was designed to hold back 200 million gallons of water, but its actual volume was much higher. After multiple problems were reported since its construction, at around 2:15 p.m. on Sept. 30, 1911, the dam gave way. The deluge of water and wood stored at the plant killed at least 78 people and destroyed approximately $14 million in property. It was enough to force state lawmakers to pass the nation’s first dam safety laws two years later. Today, the Austin Dam Memorial Association owns a 75-acre site near the site of the dam collapse. Located along State Route 872 just north of Austin, a memorial park offers visitors a chance to view the weathered concrete, remember the flood victims and enjoy the beauty of Potter County.

1975 The Keystone Reptile Club holds a rattlesnake hunt in Potter County to demonstrate how to handle snakes, as well as educate the public about the vipers. 14

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1985 Canada is building vast hydroelectric facilities with the intent of selling millions of dollars’ worth of electricity to consumers in the United States.

1995 Rural electric cooperatives do more than just supply power — they also initiate economic development projects that benefit entire rural communities.

Clogged, Backed—up Septic System…Can anything Restore It? Dear Darryl DEAR DARRYL: My home is about 10 years old, and so is my septic system. I have always taken pride in keeping my home and property in top shape. In fact, my neighbors and I are always kidding each other about who keeps their home and yard nicest. Lately, however, I have had a horrible smell in my yard, and also in one of my bathrooms, coming from the shower drain. My grass is muddy and all the drains in my home are very slow.

My wife is on my back to make the bathroom stop smelling and as you can imagine, my neighbors are having a field day, kidding me about the mud pit and sewage stench in my yard. It’s humiliating. I called a plumber buddy of mine, who recommended pumping (and maybe even replacing) my septic system. But at the potential cost of thousands of dollars, I hate to explore that option. I tried the store bought, so called, Septic treatments out there, and they did Nothing to clear up my problem. Is there anything on the market I can pour or flush into my system that will restore it to normal, and keep it maintained? Clogged and Smelly – Scranton, PA

DEAR CLOGGED AND SMELLY: As a reader of my column, I am sure you are aware that I have a great deal of experience in this particular field. You will be glad to know that there IS a septic solution that will solve your back-up and effectively restore your entire system from interior piping throughout the septic system and even unclog the drain field as well. SeptiCleanse® Shock and Maintenance Programs deliver your system the fast active bacteria and enzymes needed to liquefy solid waste and free the clogs causing your back-up.

This fast-acting bacteria multiplies within minutes of application and is specifically designed to withstand many of today’s anti-bacterial cleaners, soaps and detergents. It comes in dissolvable plastic packs, that you just flush down your toilets. It’s so cool. Plus, they actually Guarantee that it restores ANY system, no matter how bad the problem is. SeptiCleanse® Shock and Maintenance Programs are designed to work on any septic system regardless of design or age. From modern day systems to sand mounds, and systems installed generations ago, I have personally seen SeptiCleanse unclog and restore these systems in a matter of weeks. I highly recommend that you try it before spending any money on repairs. SeptiCleanse products are available online at www.septicleanse.com or you can order or learn more by calling toll free at 1-888-899-8345. If you use the promo code “PASEP9”, you can get a free shock treatment, added to your order, which normally costs $169. So, make sure you use that code when you call or buy online.

OUTDOORadventures

Bear trap time machine ONE VARIATION on the concept of a time-travel machine first popularized by H.G. Wells in his 1895 novella, “The Time Machine,” has been in the recent, silliness movies of the “Hot Tub Time Machine” franchise. Another, and one that I much prefer, lies in an outdoor antique show and sale. Old, rusty bear traps of immense proportion; intricately carved and painted, wooden fish decoys; fishing lures of nearly uncountable wood and plastic and metal variation; and more are a true time machine, allowing our imaginations and collective memories to slip back into another era of the outdoor pursuits that fire our passions. As the proverbial, “oldtimey” journalist with ink running through his veins, who can remember the days when he wrote his stories on a typewriter and had not yet touched a video camera, the print products at these is the outdoor writer for The (Harrisburg) PatriotNews and its website, PennLive.com. He also writes for many outdoor publications and is the author of more than two dozen books. Keep abreast of his adventures and writings at www.marcusschneck.com. MARCUS SCHNECK

PENN

by Marcus Schneck

shows — the old magazines, books, catalogs, posters, photos and the like — draw my collector’s money. I’m not a great collector. The print products I bring home are soon out of their protective, plastic envelopes. The pages are turned, sometimes resulting in minor tears and damage to the ancient bindings. Whatever value as an antique the magazine or book may have had at the antique show is soon greatly diminished in my hands. It’s not that I don’t value something that’s been around 50, 60, 70, 100 years or more. It’s just that while I can marvel at a product formed of paper and ink so long ago, I enthuse even more over the words and ideas captured on those old, yellowing pages. I know I could hit one of our dwindling supply of libraries to get at the same information, but that’s different than having the old book or magazine on some shelf in my own home, waiting at my leisure to impart its messages from the past. That’s different from a research trip to the library. For example, I picked up a 70-year-old copy of Pennsylvania Game News, the official publication of the Pennsylvania Game Commission, at a recent hunting and fishing show. That September 1945 magazine features a Jacob Bates Abbott painting of an opossum raiding the fruit of

LINES • SEPTEMBER 2015

a persimmon tree under the light of the full moon on its front cover. The back cover features no art, just the message “Buy more bonds and hold onto them,” which reveals a lot about the world in fall 1945, a month after the end of fighting in World War II. Inside the magazine, we see that the Pennsylvania Game Commission and sportsmen were struggling with some of the same issues we have yet to resolve even today: the then-newly created County Soil Conservation Districts and the loss of soil productivity; landowner relations and keeping private farmlands open to public hunting and recreation; melding timber operations with wildlife habitat needs;

TIME MACHINE: Antique shows are excellent spots to locate objects of historical interest to the outdoorsman, like this old bear trap.

involving youth in our outdoor pursuits; and learning to live with birds of prey rather than blasting every one of them from the skies out of a fear they will compete for game. It can be depressing to see how much we have not progressed in 70 years, so here’s the punch line from a cartoon that appeared in the 1945 magazine. The artwork depicts two hunters trudging across a field. The one says to the other, “I just go for the exercise. It’s unsportsmanlike to shoot them while they’re sitting and I can’t hit them while they’re moving.” l

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COUNTRYkitchen

by Janette He ss

GREEN CHILI WITH POTATOES

Eat your greens IF YOUR pantry doesn’t currently hold several cans of diced green chilies, make haste to the supermarket! These little green “flavor bombs” serve as the make-or-break ingredient in a wide variety of autumn-friendly casseroles, soups, sauces and appetizers. This month’s recipes were tested with mild green chilies, but if you are particularly adventurous, try them with medium green chilies. Green Chili Squares are delicious for breakfast, brunch or lunch. They even may be cut into tiny squares and served as hors d’oeuvres. In Baked Chili-Cheese Spread, the recipe substitutes green chilies and taco seasoning for the traditional sugar and vanilla extract in a cheesecake-like concoction. The result is a savory appetizer that, when served with chips and crackers, has the power to please any hungry crowd. Ole’! Green Chili with Potatoes is a fall-friendly dish that contains a variety of green ingredients — green chilies, salsa verde, dried cilantro and even sliced green onions, if desired. “Eating your greens” just took on a flavorful new meaning! l

1 1/2 pounds trimmed pork (center-cut roast or loin), cut into 1/2-inch cubes 1 tablespoon vegetable oil 2 cups diced onion 3 cloves garlic, minced 4 cups chicken broth 16 ounces mild, diced green chilies (4 4-ounce cans or equivalent) 1 10-ounce can diced tomatoes and green chilies 1 cup salsa verde 2 tablespoons dried cilantro 2 teaspoons ground cumin 3 potatoes Salt and pepper, to taste Any or all of the following, for garnish: Sliced green onions Grated cheese Sour cream pork in single Heat oil in large, non-stick soup pot or Dutch oven. Cook browned. Add lightly is pork until ary, necess if s layer, working in batche soften. Add all onions and garlic. Cook and stir until onions begin to r. Peel and very remaining ingredients except potatoes, salt and peppe hour. Peel and cube finely grate 1 potato. Add to pot. Slowly simmer for 1 pork is fallremaining potatoes. Add to pot. Continue simmering until ing with salt and apart tender and potatoes are cooked. Adjust season pepper. Serve with garnishes. Makes 10 to 12 servings. offer with scramAdditional serving suggestion: For a hearty breakfast, bled eggs and soft tortillas

A trained journalist, JANETTE HESS focuses her writing on interesting people and interesting foods. She is a Master Food Volunteer with her local extension service and enjoys collecting, testing and sharing recipes.

BAKED CHILI-CHEESE SP READ

GREEN CHILI SQUARES 1 12-ounce can evaporated milk 8 eggs, lightly beaten 2 4-ounce cans (or equivalent) mild diced green chilies 2 cups (8 ounces) grated cheddar, marbled cheddar or Colby-jack cheese 1/2 teaspoon salt Cooking spray Cayenne pepper Salsa, for serving

Combine evaporated milk, eggs, chilies, cheese and salt. Prepare 9- by 13inch baking dish with cooking spray. Pour mixture into dish. Dust with cayenne pepper. Bake at 325 degrees for 50 to 55 minutes, or until eggs are set and lightly browned. Cut into 12 squares. Serve with salsa. To make a breakfast sandwich, place a warm Green Chili Square and a slice of ham or Canadian bacon on a toasted English muffin.

PENN

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2 8-ounce packages cream chee se, softened 2 cups (8 ounces) shredded shar p cheddar cheese 3 eggs 1 1/2 cups sour cream, divided 2 tablespoons taco seasoning (fro m packet) 2 4-ounce cans (or equivalent) mild diced green chilies 1/4 teaspoon salt Any or all of the following, for garn ish: Black olive slices Jalapeno pepper rings (from a jar) Salsa

Beat cream cheese and cheddar chee se until fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time, scraping bowl as needed. Fold in 1 cup sour cream, taco seasonin g and 1 can green chilies. Transfer to 9-inch knife to smooth top. Bake at 350 degr springform pan. Use spreader or ees for 35 to 40 minutes, or until center is just set. Remove from oven and cool for 10 minutes. Combine remaining sour cream, remaining can of green chilies and salt. Spread over top of “cheesecake” and bake an additional 8 minutes. Cool complete ly on wire rack before refrigerating at leas t 4 hours. To serve, cut around side s of pan with sharp knife; release and remove ring. Add garnishes. Use appe tizer spreader for serving, or cut into thin slices. Good with crackers or any style of corn chips. This appetizer will serve a large crowd!

SMARTcircuits

by James Dulley

Understanding home heat loss, heat gain IT NEVER hurts to be as informed as possible about projects you are considering, especially if you donâ€™t have a thorough knowledge of how a home loses and gains heat. Using just a few of the proper terms and displaying some knowledge can keep a contractor from attempting anything unnecessary or unethical. There are many do-it-yourself (DIY) books about efficiency improvements, which would be a great starting point. Each home is unique, so what books recommend in general may not provide the best payback for your specific living space. The most common misconception about a home is that heat rises. Heat does not rise. Instead, heat, which is a form of energy, flows equally in all directions. What does rise is warm air because it is less dense than cool air. This is important to keep in mind when determining where, how much and what types of insulation to use for various areas of your home. The basic types of heat flow, out of your home during winter or into it during summer, are conduction, convection, radiation and air infiltration (leakage). Conduction is probably the most common type. This is how the handle on a cup gets hot from the coffee, or how heat flows through the wood studs inside the walls. The amount of heat lost or gained from conduction is primarily a function of the temperature difference between the indoor and outdoor surfaces of an outside wall. If the outdoor temperature drops so that the temperature difference is twice as large, twice as much heat will be lost through the wall. The insulation level of a home also affects heat loss. If the insulation R-value

is doubled, the amount of heat loss is cut in half. Convection refers to heat flow from a fluid, such as air or water, moving over a surface. The heat lost by convection will also double if the temperature difference doubles, but it will increase even more as the air blows faster. Radiation is heat flow, which moves through space or air. This is how the sun warms us. Just as it warms you, your home also loses radiant heat to the outdoors, especially on a clear cold night. Radiant heat flow is different in that when the temperature difference is doubled, the heat flow increases by 16 times. On a clear night, outer space is minus 460 degrees Fahrenheit, so the heat loss increases. You may have noticed how chilly you feel standing by a window at night. On a summer afternoon, a black shingle roof can easily reach 160 degrees Fahrenheit, which radiates heat down through the insulation and the ceiling. Now that you have this background knowledge, make a list of problem areas, such as a persistently chilly room. If the room is located on the northwest side of

the home, convection losses and air infiltration from winter winds could be a factor. Erecting some type of windbreak can help. Since heat moves down as well as up, check the lumber band joist, which rests on the foundation. If it is not insulated, which is not uncommon, much heat can be lost by conduction moving out of it. If this is the case, I recommend insulating the joint. While the insulation is being installed, caulk where the joist rests on the top of the foundation. Installing shades and closing them at night can block the direct radiant heat flow to the cold night sky or from the hot afternoon sun. This is much less expensive than installing new windows. Have low-emissivity, reflective foil stapled under the roof rafters. This dramatically reduces the radiant heat flow downward on hot summer afternoons. l Have a question for Jim? Send inquiries to JAMES DULLEY , Penn Lines, 6906 Royalgreen Drive, Cincinnati, OH 45244 or visit www.dulley.com.

SEPTEMBER 2015 â€˘ PENN

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FREE Headings (Select One): Around the House Business Opportunities Employment Opportunities Gift and Craft Ideas Livestock and Pets Miscellaneous Motor Vehicles and Boats Nursery and Garden Real Estate Recipes and Food Tools and Equipment Vacations and Campsites Wanted to Buy SPECIAL HEADING: . SPECIAL HEADING FEE: $5 for co-op members, $10 for non-members. Applies even if heading is already appearing in Penn Lines. Insertion of classified ad serves as proof of publication; no proofs supplied. SEND FORM TO: Penn Lines Classifieds, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Please make CHECK/MONEY ORDER payable to: PREA/Penn Lines.

ALPACA PRODUCTS GOT COLD FEET? Alpaca socks are 5-6X’s warmer than wool, hypoallergenic, antimicrobial with natural wicking properties. We carry men’s and women’s heavy boot, medium weight and a light weight therapeutic that is also good for diabetes and circulatory issues. To order call 814-694-3519. www.annadelealpacas.com. AROUND THE HOUSE SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “Country Cooking” — $5, including postage. “Recipes Remembered” — $7, including postage. Both of these cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men and women of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention: Cookbooks. BUILDING SUPPLIES STEEL ROOFING AND SIDING. Over 25 years in business. Several profiles — cut to length. 29 and 26 gauge best quality residential roofing — 40-year warranty. Also, seconds, heavy gauges, accessories, etc. Installation available. Located northwestern Pennsylvania. 814-398-4052. FACTORY SECONDS of insulation, 4 x 8 sheets, foil back. RValue 6.5 per inch. Great for pole buildings, garages, etc. Also prime grade A foil bubble wrap insulation. 814-442-6032. BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES TIRED of the Rat Race? Want to own your business? Low cost, high-end leadership company has open positions! 814-6030231. EARN RESIDUAL INCOME on monthly sales for the rest of your life! Free mentoring. Entrepreneurs who enjoy marketing and want to build a six figure income contact Catalogbus@aol.com.

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LINES • SEPTEMBER 2015

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES — Older retired couple has complete antique shop. Inventory in storage. Great for younger retired couple. Ready to open. Great stuff. Call 814-624-5197. CHURCH LIFT SYSTEMS Make your church, business or home wheelchair accessible. We offer platform lifting systems, stair lifts, porch lifts and ramps. References. Free estimates. Get Up & Go Mobility Inc. 724-746-0992 or 814-926-3622. CONSULTING FORESTRY SERVICES NOLL’S FORESTRY SERVICES, INC. performs Timber Marketing, Timber Appraisals, Forest Management Planning, and Forest Improvement Work. FREE Timber Land Recommendations. 30 years experience. Call 814-472-8560. CENTRE FOREST RESOURCES. Forest Management Services, Wildlife Habitat Management, Timber Sales, Appraisals. College educated, professional, ethical foresters working for you. FREE Timber Consultation. 814-571-7130. CRANE SERVICE NEED A LIFT? Crane service for all your lifting needs. Experienced, fully insured, Owner-Operated and OSHA Certified. Precision Crane LLC, Linesville, PA 814-282-9133. ELECTRIC MOTORS FARM, COMMERICAL, INDUSTRIAL, NEW AND USED MOTOR SALES. Complete repair facility with over 30 years experience. Most sizes in stock. Emergency repair available. Ludwig Electric LLC. 814-948-4471. FENCING HYDRAULIC POST DRIVER FOR RENT. Easy hookup and transportation. Safe, simple operation. Convenient, costeffective alternative for setting wood posts by hand. $200 for first day, $175/additional day. 1-800-KENCOVE.

FINANCIAL FREEDOM AWESOME OPPORTUNITY TO GENERATE CASH! No buying — No selling — No boss. View 7-step video. Jim 314-614-6039. www.smileyougotcash.com. GIFT AND CRAFT IDEAS SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “Country Cooking” — $5, including postage. “Recipes Remembered” — $7, including postage. Both of these cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men and women of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention: Cookbooks. HEALTH AND NUTRITION Tired of all those medicines — Still not feeling better? Do you want to feel better, have more energy, better digestion, less joint stiffness, healthier heart/circulation and cholesterol levels? Find out how to empower your own immune system — start 1-26 today! It’s safe, affordable, and it works. Call 800557-8477: ID#528390. 90-day money back on first time orders or call me 724-454-5586. www.mylegacyforlife.net/believeit. HEALTH INSURANCE DO YOU HAVE THE BLUES regarding your Health Insurance? We cater to rural America's health insurance needs. For more information, call 844-591-2797 (PA). Call us regarding Medicare supplements, too. HUNTING VERGONA OUTDOORS: Gear up for hunting season! We sell game cameras, crossbows, binoculars, scopes, rangefinders, blinds, archery targets, packs and many other items. 814-9674844. www.vergonaoutdoors.com.

PENNLINESclassified HUNTING CAMP

SAWMILLS

ELK COUNTY, MEDIX RUN — 3 miles from Benzett. Two bedrooms with third added on back. Outbuilding for storage. Washer and dryer. Well and septic. Call 717-677-8601 or email intheholler22@embarqmail.com.

USED PORTABLE Sawmills and COMMERCIAL Sawmill equipment! Buy/Sell. Call Sawmill Exchange 800-459-2148. USA and Canada. www.sawmillexchange.com. SHAKLEE

INFRARED SAUNAS Removes toxins, burns calories, relieves joint pain, relaxes muscles, increases flexibility, strengthens immune system. Many more HEALTH BENEFITS with infrared radiant heat saunas. Economical to operate. Barron’s Furniture, Somerset, PA. 814-443-3115.

FREE SAMPLE Shaklee’s Energy Tea. Combination red, green and white teas that are natural, delicious, refreshing, safe. For sample or more information on tea or other Shaklee Nutrition/Weight Loss Products: 800-403-3381 or www.sbarton.myshaklee.com. SOLAR GENERATOR

LAWN AND GARDEN EQUIPMENT HARRINGTONS EQUIPMENT COMPANY, 475 Orchard Rd., Fairfield, PA 17320. 717-642-6001 or 410-756-2506. Lawn & Garden equipment, Sales — Service — Parts. www.HarringtonsEquipment.com.

PEPPERMINT ENERGY SOLAR GENERATOR 500-2000 watt portable power source, emergency electricity backup; can be used indoors; no noise, smell, or fuel source. 800-927-6848. info@tallpinesfarm.com, www.tallpinesfarm.com. TRACTOR PARTS – REPAIR/RESTORATION

LIVESTOCK AND PETS PEMBROKE WELSH CORGI Puppies — AKC, adorable, intelligent, highly trainable. Excellent family choice. Reputable licensed breeder guaranteed “Last breed you’ll ever own.” 814-5873449. LOG CABIN RESTORATIONS VILLAGE RESTORATIONS & CONSULTING specializes in 17th and 18th century log, stone and timber structures. We dismantle, move, re-erect, restore, construct and consult all over the country. Period building materials available. Thirty years experience, fully insured. Call 814-696-1379. www.villagerestorations.com. MISCELLANEOUS BECOME AN ORDAINED MINISTER — Correspondence Study. The harvest truly is great, the laborers are few, Luke 10:2. Free information. Ministers for Christ Outreach, 7558 West Thunderbird Rd., Ste. 1 - #114, Peoria, Arizona 85381. www.ordination.org. TWIN TRACK RAIDER SNOWMOBILE for sale. Early 70’s. Needs work. $700 OBO. Also, 500 gallon diesel fuel tank with electric pump. $400. 570-833-4494. OLD LP RECORDS for sale. 33s, 45s, 78s. Call 814-793-4630 or 814-937-0541. MOTORCYCLE-SNOWMOBILE INSURANCE For the best INSURANCE RATES call R & R Insurance Associates from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. at 800-442-6832 (PA). PENNSYLVANIA HUNTING LAND WANTED OUR HUNTERS WILL PAY TOP $$$ to hunt your land. Call for a free base camp leasing info packet and quote. 866-309-1507. www.BaseCampLeasing.com REAL ESTATE HOUSING LOTS — Near Cook Forest and Allegheny National Forest. All utilities, township maintained cul-de-sac road, surrounded by 100 acres of woods. Internet and cable installed. 15 min. from Clarion. www.deerrunlots.com. SW WARREN COUNTY Tidioute area – 37 acres with timber. OGM negotiable. Completely remodeled house with large garage, other outbuildings. Access to PA game lands. Allegheny River nearby. For more information, call 814-484-3941.

ARTHURS TRACTORS, specializing in vintage Ford tractors, 30years experience, online parts catalog/prices, Indiana, PA 15701. Contact us at 877-254-FORD (3673) or www.arthurstractors.com. VACATIONS AND CAMPSITES NEW SMYRNA BEACH, Florida condo rental. Two bedrooms, two baths, pool. 200 yards from beach. NA February. No pets. $500 weekly, $1,800 monthly. Call 814-635-4020.

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THINK PENN STATE FOOTBALL!! 50 minute drive to stadium. House rental. Sleeps 11, four bedrooms, table for 12, 2 TVs, 2 flbaths, 2 hfbaths, linens/towels provided. Call 814-931-6562. Visit www.laurelwoodsretreat.com. Wilderness cabin for rent on a thousand acres of private land with views of elk, deer, turkey and great fishing on creek behind cabin and hiking on the north slope of the largest flat top mountain in the world – THE GRAND MESA. Rent is $500 per week. Call Alan. 970-487-3321. ALLEGHENY FRONT LOG CABIN RENTAL. New, fully furnished, linens, kitchenware provided. Three bedrooms, one and 1/2 bath. Great room, million dollar view. Bedford Co. 814-7544512. www.alleghenyfrontexperience.com. FOR RENT — SEASONAL 2 or 3 bedroom cabins in Sugar Run, PA by day or week on Susquehanna River near kayaking/canoeing launch/rental. Kitchen, bathroom. Call 570833-0337. AMISH BUILT POST & BEAM CABIN. Full kitchen, loft, spare room. NLV Mifflin County. 24 acres. Fishing and hunting at its best. Call Dan 717-250-3587 or Ron 717-994-0099. SCENIC RAYSTOWN VACATION RENTAL. Sleeps six, three bedrooms, one full bath, half bath with laundry, eat-in kitchen, deck. Close to Seven Points! Car and boat parking. Call Julie 814-644-9242. WANTED TO BUY CARBIDE — Paying cash/lb. — Some examples of items that have carbide pieces at their tips for cutting or drilling are: coal mining machinery — roof bits — road bits — gas/oil/water well drill bits — machining inserts as well as many others. We will pick up your materials containing carbide pieces. We will extract the carbide item from the part in which it is held in most cases. 814-395-0415.

RECIPES AND FOOD SPECIAL OFFER — BOTH COOKBOOKS FOR $12. “Country Cooking” — $5, including postage. “Recipes Remembered” — $7, including postage. Both of these cookbooks are a collection of recipes from men and women of the electric co-ops of Pennsylvania and New Jersey. Payable to: Pennsylvania Rural Electric Association, P. O. Box 1266, Harrisburg, PA 17108. Write Attention: Cookbooks.

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SEPTEMBER 2015 • PENN

LINES

PUNCHlines

Thoughts from Earl Pitts, UHMERIKUN! Earl realizes his waterskiing efforts leave something to be desired

Social commentary from Earl Pitts —— a.k.a. GARY BUR BANK , a nationally syndicated radio personality —— can be heard on the following radio stations that cover electric cooperative service territories in Pennsylvania: WANB-FM 103.1 Pittsburgh; WARM-AM 590 Wilkes-Barre/Scranton; WIOO-AM 1000 Carlisle; WEEO-AM 1480 Shippensburg; WMTZ-FM 96.5 Johnstown; WQBR-FM 99.9/92.7 McElhattan; WLMI-FM 103.9 Kane; and WVNW-FM 96.7 Burnham-Lewistown. You can also find him at Earlpittsamerican.com.

PENN

LINES • SEPTEMBER 2015

Today’s lesson is that you should beware of bored rednecks during the final days of summer or you could get killed. See, what happened was that me and the Meeker boys was going fishin’ at Mudd Lake on Saturday morning. So they pull into my yard pullin’ Junior’s bass boat, and Junior goes, “Don’t bring a lot of bait, Earl, ‘cause I got a surprise.” I look in the back of his truck, and he’s got a pair of water skis in there. And in my mind, I’m thinking, “Oh, no, not me!” Don’t get me wrong — there is plenty of opportunities for a redneck to get dragged behind a boat. There is your knee-boards, there is your inner-tubes and there is your giant yeller bananers. And all of them got one thing in common. You don’t got to have no talent to ride them. All you need is the willingness to do a 30-mile-an-hour face-plant. Which, it seems, is for most real Americans the definition of fun. But as for standing up on actual water skis — there are only two men alive I ever respected for doin’ that. Them would be one Mr. Alan Jackson and of course, Fonzie. And sadly, I do not rank up there with either one of them gentlemen. First one in the water was Dub. Now apparently there is a secret weight-tohorsepower-to-drag ratio in boat-skiing. And Junior’s boat was obviously violating it. I mean, that outboard was chuggin’ like it was about to throw a propeller. So that didn’t last long. Second in the water was yours truly. I started out with a couple 360s — complete turns with the rope behind my back. I did a loop-de-loop in the air, launching off the wake. I must have covered 90 feet in the air off the ramp, and then I finished up with over 300 yards of barefoot skiing. None of which was planned. And I was screamin’ the whole time. Wake up, America! What was really impressive was throwin’ the line in the air, carvin’ a 45-degree turn to the beach, hit-

tin’ the sand and human cart-wheelin’ into the snow-cone shack. They’re still talking about that today.

I was listening to the radio station the other day and I heard this news story about where some scientifical geniuses out there said — get this — there is a high probability that the first human to live to be 150 years old is already alive today. I heard that and I thought, “Man, science and technology are amazing. There is nothing the human mind cannot achieve. Advancements in medicine and health care are astounding.” My second thought was, “Gosh, I hope it’s not me!” Don’t get me wrong — I don’t want to die today. But I don’t wanna go another century, neither. I mean — can you imagine living to be 150 years old? Can you imagine being the first person to do that? After about 110 years, people are gonna be checkin’ your room every morning. Then after 120 years, there’s going to be a reporter wantin’ to talk to you every day. And they’re all gonna want to know the same thing — how come you aren’t dead. By time you hit 125, your Social Security checks are gonna stop and the government is gonna go after your grandkids, convinced you died 40 years earlier, and they hid the body and kept collectin’ the money. Can you imagine being 125 years old and trying to convince the government you’re still alive? They will tie you up in appeals for the next 10 years. Then you hit 130, and the funeral home in town sends you a letter sayin’ they sold your pre-arranged cemetery plot because they got tired of waitin’. Yeah, and at that point you still got 20 years to go ... Wake up, America! I don’t wanna live so long that I get middle-age crazy in my 90s. I’m Earl Pitts. Buy my books at earlpittsamerican.com. l

RURALreflections Carefree summer days are history EVEN THOUGH the calendar says it’s still summer, the daylight hours are growing shorter and soon the leaves will begin to change colors. But today, the grass is green and the days are still warm, so enjoy the final weeks of summer. Just keep your camera handy to take some photos for the 2015 Rural Reflections contest. This year, five amateur photographers will be named winners of our $75 prize in the categories of: most artistic, best landscape, best human subject, best animal subject and editor’s choice. Runners-up in each category will receive a $25 prize. To be eligible for the 2015 contest prizes, send your photos (no digital files, please) to: Penn Lines Photos, P.O. Box 1266, Harrisburg PA 17108-1266. On the back of each photo, include your name, address, phone number and the name of your electric cooperative. (The best way to include this information is by affixing an address label to the back of the photo as ink can bleed onto the photos.) Remember, our publication deadlines require that we work ahead, so send your seasonal photos in early. We need winter photos before mid-September. (Hint: keep your spring, summer and fall photos to enter in the 2016 contest.) Photos that don’t reflect a season may be sent at any time. Please note: photos will be returned if you include a selfaddressed, stamped envelope. l

Paul Fedornak REA Energy

Katie Colgan REA Energy Alice Gehr Northwestern REC

Elizabeth Sponseller Adams EC

SEPTEMBER 2015 • PENN

LINES

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