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naps stories - 08

“Sincere thanks to all those unknowns who wrote these articles and to those who forwarded to the rest of the mankind� - A.Narayana Prasad., narayanprasad_a@yahoo.com


Content 01. Appraisal is an art?

03

02. TOPPERS ANSWERS

06

03. Kashmir? Where it is? 12 04. Do long distance relationships work? 13 05. Turmeric can keep you healthy 15


Appraisal is an art? Big Boss: This year your performance was good, excellent and outstanding. So, your rating is "average". Kumar: What? How come 'average'? Big Boss: Because...err. domain knowledge.

..uhh...you

lack

Kumar: But last year you said I am a domain expert and you put me in this project as a domain consultant. Big Boss: Oh is it? Well, in that case, I think your domain knowledge has eroded this year. Kumar: What??? Big Boss: Yes, I didn't see you sharing knowledge on purchasing domain. Kumar: Why would I? Because I am not in Purchasing, I am in Manufacturing. Big Boss: This is what I don't like about you. You give excuse for everything. Kumar: Huh? *Confused* Thanks to Internet


Big Boss: Next, you need to improve your communication skills. Kumar: Like what? I am the one who trained the team on "Business Communication" , you sat in the audience and took notes, you remember? Big Boss: Oh is it? Errr...well. .I mean, you need to improve your Social Pragmatic Affirmative Communication. Kumar: Huh? *Confused*

What

the

hell

is

that?

Big Boss: See! That's why you need to learn about it. Kumar: *head spinning* Big Boss: Next, you need to sharpen your recruiting skills. All the guys you recruited left within 2 months. Kumar: Well, not my mistake. You told them you will sit beside them and review their code, and most resigned the next day itself. Couple of them even attempted suicide. Big Boss:*stunned* (recovers from shock) Err...anyway, I tried to give you a better rating, but our Normalization process gave you only 'average'. Thanks to Internet


Kumar: Last year that process gave me 'excellent'. This year just 'average'? Why is this process pushing me up and down every year? Big Boss: That's a complicated process. You don't want to hear. Kumar: I'll try to understand. Go ahead. Big Boss: Well, we gather in a large room, write down the names of sub-ordinates in bits of paper, and throw them up in the air. Whichever lands on the floor gets 'average', whichever lands on table gets 'good', whichever we manage to catch gets 'excellent' and whichever gets stuck to ceiling gets 'outstanding' . Kumar: (eyes popping out) What? Ridiculous! So who gets 'poor' rating? Big Boss: Those are the ones we forget to write down. Kumar: What the hell! And how can paper bits stick to ceiling for 'outstanding' ? Big Boss: Oh no, now you have started questioning our 20 year old organizational process! Kumar: *faints* Thanks to Internet


TOPPERS ANSWERS Q. How can you drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? A. Concrete floors are very hard to crack! Q. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? A.

No

time

at

all

it

is

already

built.

Q. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in the other hand, what would you have? A. Very large hands. Q. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? A. It is not a problem, since you will never find an elephant with one hand. Q. How can a man go eight days without sleep? A. No Problem, he sleeps at night.

Thanks to Internet


Q. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? A. It will Wet or Sink as simple as that. Q. What looks like half apple? A: The other half. Q. What can you never eat for breakfast? A: Dinner. Q. What happened when wheel was invented? A: It caused a revolution. Q. Bay of Bengal is in which state? A: Liquid

Below are the Interview Questions, which were asked in HR Round.....

No one will GET second chance to impress.... Very very Answers.....

Impressive

Questions

and ...

Thanks to Internet


Question 1: You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night,it's raining heavily, when suddenly you pass by a bus stop, and you seethree people waiting for a bus: An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

An old friend who once saved your life.

The perfect partner you have been dreaming about. Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing very well that there could only be one passenger in your car?

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

* You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; * Or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to! pay him back. Thanks to Internet


* However, you may never be able to find your perfect mate again. The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. Guess what was his answer? He simply answered: "I would give the car keys to my Old friend and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the partner of my dreams."

Sometimes, we gain more if we are able to give up our stubborn thought limitations. Never forget to

"Think Outside of the Box." Question 2:

What will you do if I run away with your sister? The candidate who was selected answered “I will not get a better match for my sister than you sir"

Thanks to Internet


Question 3:

Interviewer (to a student girl candidate) - What is one morning you woke up & found that you were pregnant. Girl - I will be very excited and take an off, to celebrate with my husband.

Normally an unmarried girl will be shocked to hear this, but she managed it well. Why I should think it in the wrong way, she said later when asked

Question 4: Interviewer: He ordered a cup of coffee for the candidate. Coffee arrived kept before the candidate, and then he asked what is before you? Candidate: Instantly replied "Tea" He got selected. You know how and why did he say "TEA" when he knows very well that coffee was kept before. Thanks to Internet


(Answer: The question was "What is before you (U - alphabet) Reply was "TEA" (T - alphabet) Alphabet "T" was before Alphabet "U"

Question 5: Where Lord Rama would have celebrated his "First Diwali"? People will start thinking of Ayodya, Mitila [Janaki's place], Lanka etc...

But the logic is, Diwali was a celebrated as a mark of Lord Krishna Killing Narakasura. In Dusavataar, Krishnavathaar comes after Raamavatha ar. So, Lord Rama would not have celebrated the Diwali At all!

Question 6:

The interviewer asked to the candidate "This is your last question of the interview. Please tell me the exact position of the centre of this table where u have kept your files." Thanks to Internet


Candidate confidently put one of his finger at some point at the table and told that this was the central point at the table.

Interviewer asked how did u get to know that this being the central point of this table, then he answers quickly that "sir u r not likely to ask any more question, as it was the last question that u promised to ask....." And hence, he was selected as because of his quick-wittedness. ....... This is what Interviewer expects from the Interviewee. ...

"THINK OUT OF BOX"

Thanks to Internet


Kashmir? Where it is? An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my speech I want to tell you something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir is named. When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought,

'What a good opportunity to have a bath.' He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water. When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A Pakistani had stolen them.'

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'

Thanks to Internet


The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made that clear, I will begin my speech. 'And they say Kashmir belongs to them"

Thanks to Internet


Do long distance relationships work? A relationship always requires a constant effort to keep it going, but the endeavour has to be doubled if you are in a long distance relationship. Well, instead of whining about it in one part of the world and wondering whether your long-distance lover is serious about you or not, or is fooling around with you, take this quiz to know your long distance relationship's chances of success. 1. When you leave a message for your partner, does he/she: Yes, responds every time; Usually responds; Rarely responds. 2. Does your partner indulge or respond to phone sex? Yes; No; Rarely. 3. How many times do you take the effort to travel the distance to meet? He/she usually makes the trip; Always; As convenient to both of us. 4. When with friends in the evenings, does your partner take time out and call you up to tell you about the evening? Yes; No; Sometimes. 5. During discussions, does your partner talk about his or her new interests? Yes; No; Sometimes. Thanks to Internet


6. Does (s)he reply to your mails with genuine interest? Yes; No; Depends on the availability of time and the interest of the topic. 7. Does your partner show an active interest in your daily activities? Yes; No; Only when it concerns him/her. 8. Does (s)he tell you that he/she is missing you? Yes, everyday; Several times a week; Never 9. Does your partner speak about his/her colleagues of the opposite sex? Yes; No; Sometimes. 10. Has the prospect of suspending your union until you're both in the same location ever been discussed? Yes; No; There have been subtle hints.

Result:

Give two points for every 'Yes' and deduct one point for any other answer 0-10: It's time to re-consider your relationship, as your partner seems to have no plans to remain committed 1015: There's not much to be worried about, but take out time to discuss matters

Thanks to Internet


Turmeric can keep you healthy Turmeric or haldi has so many medicinal properties that it is a wonder we still see it as a simple kitchen spice rather than as a herbal sensation. Haldi has been used in traditional Indian medicine for centuries, as a home remedy for sprains, swellings and wounds and to treat stomach ailments and infections. It is such an efficient antibiotic that it not only kills dangerous bacteria in the human intestine when it's cooked with food, but can also neutralise parasites when applied as a paste on wounds. And adding haldi to dals is a simple way to allow the body to digest dal better - most dals are difficult to digest and cause gas. In ancient India, all vaids and doctors used haldi to treat injuries and wounds. Those vaids knew what they were doing. Recently, Austrian scientists reported that haldi protects against liver damage that eventually causes cirrhosis. Curcumin, the active ingredient that gives turmeric its Thanks to Internet


characteristic yellow colour, reduces inflammation that causes liver cell damage, blockage and scarring in eight short weeks, reported Gut, a British medical journal publication. Turmeric has been used since ancient times to boost the body's immune response. In fact, it is one of the few spices allowed in khichri for babies above six months of age. In 2007, US researchers reported that curcumin helped stimulate the immune system cells among people who had Alzheimer's disease, slowing the progression of the degenerative disease. Later that year, Clinical Cancer Research reported that curcumin effectively blocked the activity of a gastrointestinal hormone implicated in the development of colorectal cancer. Since then, turmeric has been proven to prevent rheumatoid arthritis and osteoporosis that leads to bone loss. Its anti-inflammatory properties were not only found to relieve the aches and pains of arthritis, but also prevent it, said the study in Arthritis and Rheumatism, the American College of Rheumatology journal. International studies have also shown it suppresses cancer tumours and that people who eat lots of Thanks to Internet


turmeric are less prone to the disease even though curcumin loses its anti-cancer attributes quickly after being ingested. In laboratory tests, haldi has also successfully killed and stopped the growth of melanoma skin cancer cells in laboratory tests. So how do you include turmeric in your diet? Here's how: Add it to dals and vegetables Add it to milk for children, along with jaggery. Add it to rice or atta dough. It will give the foods a lemon colour Add it to stews and soups, especially if you have loose motions or any infection Add it to milk if you have bruises and internal injuries.

Thanks to Internet


naps stories 08