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Feature story – Two women who
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EMERGING INSIGHTS ABOUT HAPPINESS
The burgeoning field of positive psychology defines happiness as positive emotions we have in regards to the pleasurable activities we take part in through our daily lives. Researchers from 60 countries gathered at the International Positive Psychology Association’s 6th World Congress in Melbourne in July 2019 to share cutting-edge insights on the science of wellbeing. Three of the emerging keys to happiness that stood out were positive solitude (alone time that feeds our wellbeing); feeling active (how energetic, vigorous and vital we feel); and future-mindedness (dreaming of great things to come).
Carren Smith. Image: Greg Gardner Photography
Keys to happiness
For two Sunshine Coast women, their happiness has come from a great deal of heartache, but they are sharing their stories to help others who are struggling to find happiness in the world. WORDS: Leigh Robshaw.
Twelve months before the Bali bombings, Carren Smith’s partner took his own life, leaving behind a note outlining why it was her fault. Guilt-ridden and unable to live with herself, she went to Bali with two friends on the anniversary of his death in October 2002, planning to take her own life. Instead, what happened gave her a reason to live. She was on the dance floor of the Sari Club when the bombs went off. When she regained consciousness, she found herself lying in a pit covered in dead bodies and a collapsed roof. Despite multiple injuries, she survived. Her two friends did not.
The Bokarina professional speaker and business coach now draws on her story of survival to help others. She has worked with more than 600,000 people, delivered 3300 presentations and supported the successful launch of more than 3000 businesses. Her 2012 book Soul Survivor: The Compelling Truth About a Broken Woman’s Survival of the 2002 Bali Bombings details how she was able to reinvent herself in the wake of devastating trauma.
“I didn’t understand why I came home, when I was the one who went there to take my life,” she says. “I needed to find the answer in order for me to be here. I needed to find my peace of mind, my foundations, who I was now.”
Formerly a corporate high-flyer in Sydney, her old life no longer had the same meaning. “It wasn’t until I was standing in front of a thousand people in Melbourne, talking about happiness that I realised I had been working seven days a week,” she says. “I was always sick and so run down. When I was standing on the stage, it occurred to me I was running myself into the ground, trying to pay back what I felt I’d done wrong.
“I wasn’t literally taking my life, but still killing myself trying to make up for it. That was about the 11-year mark after the bombings. I can say my real happiness came on that realisation, where I let myself off the hook. I concentrated on finding happiness, rather than paying a price.
“I can’t even compare the profound love I have for myself now with how I was pre-Bali,” she says. “I didn’t know myself pre-Bali. I was just like everybody else, getting up, going to work in Sydney, climbing the corporate career ladder.”
As the general manager for one of the world’s largest recruitment agencies, Ms Smith was responsible for 300 staff. She says she was focused on having the title of general manager by the time she was 25.
“I worked 18 hours a day, I sacrificed a lot in terms of relationships. I went after what I wanted hard. But how can you meet
your maker face-to-face and not be changed spiritually? I was quite ambitious and single-minded pre-Bali. After Bali, my focus changed completely. I felt my purpose here was to show the world that if I can go through losing my partner to suicide and then be blown up in a bomb, we can handle anything.
“People don’t need to have a bomb under their butt to wake them up. They can use me as a platform to learn the lessons without having the suffering. So I set about becoming a professional speaker, so I could stand on stages across the world and be a beacon. I feel like what I’m doing now is profoundly more purposeful.”
Ms Smith believes having a purpose in life is one of the greatest keys to happiness, but that happiness is something we all have already, hidden underneath life’s worries, stresses and strains.
“I ascribe to the Dalai Lama’s view that happiness is our natural state and it is what is always present,” she says. “The barriers to our happiness are distractions. If we limit the distractions, then our natural state becomes happiness. We live in a world that is only about distractions.
“I think as humans we haven’t quite figured it out yet – that the more we go back to basics, the more we stand still, the more present we are, the closer we come to our own inner peace. Inner peace, I feel, is a key to happiness.”
Ms Smith says the benefit of COVID
Angie Mansey and (inset) her recent book How I Made Lemonade
and lockdowns has been that we’ve had a shift back to basics, which has made us appreciate our time with family and friends and realise how overwhelmed we had become with constant work, constant separation and constant distraction.
“We realised how disconnected we’d become from ourselves,” she says. “I don’t think we would have gone back to basics if we hadn’t been forced. As we start to transition into a new normal, I think there are some lessons we can take with us.”
In her daily life, Ms Smith maintains a number of practices she says are essential keys to her personal happiness. She meditates twice a day for 20 minutes, trains at F45 every day, eats a vegan diet with no sugar and most importantly, allows herself to be present with her emotions.
“Whenever I’m feeling pain or suffering, I don’t push it to the side. I don’t wish it away; I sit in it. Whatever we resist, persists. If I sit in it and feel it, it moves through in five or 10 minutes. If I don’t, it can take months. You have to feel it to heal it.”
Bli Bli author and multiple business award winner Angie Mansey has also triumphed over tragedy. In her 2021 book How I Made Lemonade, she details a dysfunctional childhood growing up on the Sunshine Coast, which saw her living on the streets at 14.
“I became a teenage mother after becoming pregnant at 16 and escaped a severely abusive relationship at 18 years old with the assistance of police and stumbled many times before finding my feet,” she says. “I completed high school at night while working two jobs to support my son and I started my life over many times to try to give my son the best future possible.”
Now happily married and with four sons, she is a full-time carer to her second son, who has spent most of his 11 years in hospital with a rare medical condition.
She and husband Luke bought Kuluin Mufflers in 2016 and recently expanded into a second business, KM Exhausts Australia. She also founded the charity Driven by KM to provide financial support to the families of terminally and chronically ill children on the Sunshine Coast. She won the Telstra Small Business Woman of the Year award in 2019, the Sunshine Coast Business Women’s Network Young Business Woman of the Year in 2017 and the Sunshine Coast Business Award for Excellence in Social Responsibility 2017.
Mrs Mansey has a wide smile and a cool rockabilly style that fits well with her role in the automotive industry. Not long after her book came out, she dyed her hair blue, because, why not? “I like to do really fun things way out of my comfort zone,” she says. “My hair is bright blue now and it makes me happy. I have a full sleeve of tattoos filled with things that make me smile, like wildflowers. “Changing my appearance to something that is bright and colourful makes me feel happy and uplifted.” Her bubbly persona defies the reality of her life situation as a mum of four children – one who lives in chronic pain – and owner of two businesses that all demand her attention. Her energy and determination to create a happy life for herself and her family seem boundless.
“I really think it comes from wanting so badly to not remain in the same place I was born into,” she says. “I wanted more for myself and for my children. I wanted to give my children opportunities I never had.
“When my son’s liver failed about five years ago – we were on surgery 25 at the time – we realised I wasn’t going to be able to maintain my job as a dental nurse. He was in dire straits. We sold our family home and purchased a business that was for sale. We had $180,000 of debt due to medical bills. It was a new career for my husband Luke and I. We built in a lounge room beside the office so I could take Corbin to work every day and keep him hooked up to the machine feeding him and administering medications. It came about by necessity and grew into a passion. We’ve now got seven staff and Corbin still comes to work on the days he’s not able to go to school.”
Mrs Mansey’s key to happiness is to ensure she is surrounded by positive people and things.
“That includes friends or anything that makes me smile. My house is full of beautiful flowers and fairy lights. I’m very organised; I find that reduces my stress. I text my friends to say I’m thinking of them if I haven’t had time to catch up and I send flowers or an Uber Eats coffee to their work if someone is having a hard day.
“Last year, I decided I needed to look after myself, because I look after everybody around me. I thought, it’s really important to do some nice things for myself, so I started burlesque dancing. It made me laugh and it’s something to look forward to each week, which is just one hour for me. I have really enjoyed that.”
Mrs Mansey says she’s always found it hard to ask for help, but last year decided to get a cleaner as part of her self-care.
“I realised I wasn’t able to do it all,” she says. “My home has to be immaculate and I wanted to free myself up to have more time with my kids rather than scrubbing my shower on a Saturday morning.”
Mrs Mansey has definitely turned lemons into lemonade, as her book title suggests. Not that life is easy.
“One big rule I have is that I give myself 24 hours to feel sorry for myself,” she says. “We could be given a really bad diagnosis, something terrible could happen that brings me to my knees. I have 24 hours to feel really sorry for myself and after that, I have to pick myself up and keep going.”
BY THE NUMBERS
World’s happiest countries
Since 2002, the World Happiness Report has used statistical analysis to determine the world’s happiest countries. In its 2021 update, the report concluded that Finland is the happiest country in the world, with Australia ranked at number 11. To determine the world’s happiest country, researchers analysed comprehensive Gallup polling data from 149 countries for the past three years, specifically monitoring performance in six particular categories: gross domestic product per capita, social support, healthy life expectancy, freedom to make your own life choices, generosity of the general population, and perceptions of internal and external corruption levels. The least happy country in the world for 2021 was Afghanistan.
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Play area opens with a splash
Nambour pool just got a whole lot more interesting, with the recent opening of the Splash Park for kids. And there is more water fun to come to the hinterland town.
Nambour Aquatic Centre just upped the ante on family fun.
Sunshine Coast residents and visitors will be able to enjoy the new $3.26 million splash pad, which opened at the aquatic centre this month.
The zero-depth and fully accessible splash pad play area forms part of the much-anticipated Splash Park, which was developed with the support of Sunshine Coast Council, the state government’s Works for Queensland program, and pool lessee Belgravia Leisure.
The major investment includes the recent addition of 44 new car parking spaces and two adventure slides, which are set to open later this year.
Councillor David Law says the project will deliver a water wonderland in the heart of the hinterland and be a drawcard for the town.
The centre has an existing 50-metre lap pool and 25-metre indoor pool, which also has a mechanical chair that lowers into the pool for disability access, but the new water play facilities will allow people of all ages to enjoy hours of healthy and active fun.
“It has been a challenging project, and like many construction projects across Australia, we’ve experienced material and supply delays caused by the global pandemic,” Cr Law says.
“I’m thrilled our community will now be able to enjoy early access to the splash pad, prior to the official opening of the splash park later this year.”
The splash pad features 385 square metres of waterplay with two toddler slides, 20 water jet features and tipping buckets.
It aims to encourage children’s physical and sensory development through interaction with waterplay elements.
Nambour Aquatic Centre is at 31 Petrie Park Road. It’s opening house are Monday to Thursday 5.30am to 7pm, Friday 5.30am to 6.30pm, Saturday 7am to 5pm and Sunday 9am to 5pm. The cost of entry is $6.05 for adults, $5.10 for children and concession or $18.25 for a family. The new splash pad play area is included in the entry price.
The complete splash park will be officially unveiled with an exciting community event later this year when two new adventure slides, measuring 60 and 67 metres in length will be opened.
The Nambour Aquatic Centre is one of nine councilrun aquatic centres across the region. Others are located at Beerwah, Buderim, Caloundra, Coolum-Peregian, Cotton Tree, Eumundi, Kawana and Palmwoods.
For more information about the construction of Nambour Aquatic Centre’s Splash Park, visit Sunshine Coast Council’s website at sunshinecoast.qld.gov.au.
CALLING ON COAST TRADIES TO BE PART OF THE LEGACY
Wishlist is calling on carpenters and tilers, painters and flooring specialists to help complete the fit-out of 18 rooms on the top two floors of the new state-of-the-art Wishlist Centre.
The charity recently launched The House the Coast Built project and needs extra expert hands on deck to open the doors of the $14 million centre in July 2022.
Long-term Wishlist partners Ausmar Homes will once again project manage The House the Coast Built 2022 – following three successful projects spanning almost 10 years to support public health services on the Sunshine Coast.
“We see time and time again, whenever we put the call out, those who come on board take immense satisfaction in the long-term contribution they’re making to our region,” Ausmar Homes director Tony Bryan says. Express your interest at wishlist.org.au or call 5202 1777.
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You don’t buy a new bed every day. So you want to get it right. Especially when you can easily spend $1,000, $2,000, and even $5,000 or more at a department or specialty bedding store (that is, if you don’t know better). With so many diff erent brands, diff erent prices, and so-called discounts, it can be very confusing to know which mattress to choose. Here are 10 things you need to know before you buy a new mattress.
ONE: Same Mattress, Different Name
Have you wondered why no two store sells the same mattress? Although they look similar, the name at one department store is diff erent to another, which is diff erent to the chain speciality bedding stores. Th e truth is, most mattresses in Australia are made by 3 companies. But, to make it diffi cult for you to compare mattresses (and prices) from one store to another, the manufacturer puts a diff erent label on the mattress depending on which store is selling it. So, the only diff erence between the $1,000 mattress you are looking at in one store, and the $1,500 mattress in another store, may be the label.
TWO: Springs
Apart from straight foam and straight latex mattresses (which are not very common), all mattresses contain springs. Some have Bonnell Springs (hour glass shaped springs held between a wire hoop at the top and bottom) or Pocket Springs (individual springs that are independently wrapped in a thin layer of fabric). No matter what fancy names manufacturers give their springs, or what quantity of springs or zones their mattresses have, they are essentially the same. In fact, most springs are made by one manufacturer in China and shipped in compressed form to mattress companies all around the world including Australia. Pocket Spring mattresses tend to cost a little more than Bonnell Spring mattresses but off er a genuine advantage in terms of less partner disturbance.
THREE: Edge Support
In order to maintain support right to the edges, an extra piece of wire can be connected to the top and bottom hoops of a Bonnell Spring mattresses and a strong foam box can be added to a Pocket Spring Mattress. Edge supports add genuine benefi t because they allow you to sleep or sit right on the edge of the bed without the side collapsing. Edge supports should add around $100 to the price of a Bonnell Spring mattress and around $200 to the price of a Pocket Spring mattress depending if the support goes all the way around or if it is just added to the sides.
FOUR: Foam
Th e type of foam used in a mattress will not only aff ect its feel, it will signifi cantly aff ect the longevity of the mattress. Foams are measured in two ways. Firstly there is the feel – hard or soft . Th en there is the density – high or low. Th e feel is what makes one mattress plush and another fi rm. Th e density is what makes one foam last longer than another. You can get a soft mattress in low or high density. Density does not aff ect the feel. But it will make a big diff erence to how long your mattress will last. Density is what costs money. So before you buy a mattress, be sure to ask about the density of the foams inside. Th e fi rst layer (on top of the springs) is usually the lowest density (20-25kg/m2 is usually fi ne for this layer). But many manufacturers continue to use low density (20kg/m2 or lower) for the top comfort layers. While you won’t notice this when you fi rst feel your new mattress, it will become obvious as the foam breaks down and you end up sleeping in a hollow (sometimes as quickly as just a few months).
FIVE: Specialty Foam
Memory foam is a term used to describe foams that have a slow ‘bounce’. In other words, once de-pressed, they take a few seconds to regain their original shape. Gel foam is a term used to describe foam that is infused with a special gel substance. Both memory and gel foams feel similar to touch. But because some people fi nd memory foams hot to sleep on (due to the fact you tend to sink into the foam more), the addition of gel particles encourages air fl ow and a cooler sleeping surface. Although used as a marketing gimmick by many manufacturers, we do see some benefi t in using gel infused memory foam if you tend to feel hot when you sleep.
SIX: Latex
Like foam, not all latex is the same. Genuine latex is highly elastic and will last for many years. Synthetic and hybrid latex becomes brittle over time.
SEVEN: Pillow Top
Th e term pillow top refers to the extra comfort layers usually only on one side of the mattress. Th is provides an extra soft sleeping surface for those who like a plush feel. Once again, the most important thing is what is inside the pillow top – namely, the density of foam. A low density foam may feel luxurious at fi rst, but as it breaks down you may feel like you are sleeping in a hollow.
Eight: Non-Flip Mattresses
In some ways, this is another industry gimmick. Th e fact that most people don’t like to fl ip their mattress each month has lead manufacturers to say things like ‘non-fl ip technology’. What this really means is that the mattress only has comfort layers on one side. So in a way, this has enabled manufacturers to save money on manufacturing while charging more. A mattress that can be fl ipped will generally last twice as long as a single side mattress (provided you do actually fl ip it).
NINE: Plush Top
Some people like the look and feel of the ‘cloud-like’ comfort layers incorporated into the quilting of some mattresses. Th e problem is, this layer usually fl attens quickly. Some salespeople say, “Your mattress will settle and mould to your body shape over time.” Th e truth is, the fl uff y quilting is simply getting fl at. We advise against plush quilting because if you like the plush feel, you will soon be disappointed as the quilting fl attens. If you do like a particularly soft surface layer, we recommend inserting a thin layer of high density memory foam in the quilting. It feels amazing and will not fl atten.
TEN: Are Expensive Mattresses Worth It?
As you now know, the internal components of most mattresses are pretty much the same. And the most important part is the comfort layers (i.e. the density / quality of the foam). But no matter what fancy names are given to a mattress or it’s components – including terms relating to the type or number or springs – if you’re paying $5,000 for a mattress, we think you are being ripped off . Warehouse Clearance While our wholesale prices are always around 70% cheaper than other stores, there are times throughout the year where we need to clear certain mattresses at even lower prices. And right now we are overstocked on 2 models.
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Th is luxury mattress has zoned pocket springs to minimise partner disturbance, a high-density foam box for strong edge support, natural latex for supreme comfort, and a 10 year warranty. Similar mattresses at other stores sell for as much as $5,000. Available this week for just $1,299. For more information and personal assistance from a Factory Trained Mattress Specialist, visit one of our showrooms, click onto our website www.simplybeds.com.au or call 1300 132 231.
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