An Arkie’s Faith I’ll meet you at the river

Robert Lowry wrote this hymn in 1864 after meditating on a picture of heaven found in Revelation 22:1-2 (ESV), “Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, bright as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb through the middle of the street of the city.”

I’m comforted that Daddy has fallen asleep and is resting peacefully. He is no longer fighting the daily battles of life. In 2 Timothy 4:7 (NLT), Paul’s words could be Daddy’s. “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, and I have remained faithful.” he was at the shop, my wife and I made two trips there and visited with him for a few minutes. On Thursday, a friend helped me pick up a load of glass and make deliveries. My Daddy wasn’t there when we stopped by the shop to pick up the glass delivery truck. “He is usually here by this time,” I thought. “I wonder what is happening with him?”

I’m comforted that God has promised that if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, we can be sure that those who sleep in Jesus will live again. When the Lord Himself descends from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with the trumpet of God, the dead in Christ will rise again.

When we returned to the shop with a load of glass on the truck, he still wasn’t there. “Let’s go check on Daddy before we make our deliveries,” I told my friend. When we arrived at Daddy’s house and went inside, we found that he had slipped away during the night. That scene will be forever etched in my memory.

The shock of that experience is still with me as I make funeral arrangements. Sadness and grief have come in waves as I cope with everything that must be taken care of. But between those waves of intense emotion are thoughts of comfort as I think about Daddy’s last words to his friends, “I’ll meet you at the river.”

One of his favorite hymns was “Shall We Gather at the River.”

“Shall we gather at the river, where bright angel feet have trod, with its crystal tide forever flowing by the throne of God? Yes, we’ll gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river; Gather with the saints at the river that flows by the throne of God.”

My Daddy had spent his life serving God in the best way he knew how. He loved Jesus and believed fully that he would spend eternity with him. He loved studying his Bible and took to heart the passages that read, “I write these things to you who believe in the name of the Son of God, that you may know that you have eternal life.” 1 John 5:13 (ESV)

“Endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation.” Romans 5:4 (NLT) He was confident he would meet at the river.

The hymn’s final verse proclaims, “Soon we’ll reach the shining river, soon our pilgrimage will cease. Soon our happy hearts will quiver with the melody of peace. Yes, we’ll gather at the river, the beautiful, the beautiful river; Gather with the saints at the river that flows by the throne of God.”

Gentle Reader, if you have experienced the loss of a friend or family member, remember that God does not want you to be ignorant “concerning those who have fallen asleep, lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (NKJV)

God has said that they are blessed. Revelation 14:13 (NIV) says, “Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on. ‘Yes,’ says the Spirit, ‘they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.”’

I’m confident that Daddy believed the words of the Psalmist found in Psalms 17:15 (NASB); “As for me, I shall behold Your face in righteousness; I will be satisfied with Your likeness when I awake.”

I’m looking forward to the day that Jesus returns, and Daddy will awake and look into the face of Jesus, his Savior. I’m looking forward to the day “God will wipe away every tear from their eyes; there shall be no more death, nor sorrow, nor crying. There shall be no more pain, for the former things have passed away.” Revelation 21:4 (NKJV)

I hope to meet Daddy and you at the river one day.

CALDWELL continued from page 10 cal treatments. You go back and forth to the doctor’s office for five years. The first year is every month. Matter of fact, at first it was every two weeks. Then it goes to every month, then every three months, six months and once per year. I’ve been cancer free now for five years.”

Her children: Joe Evans, Andrea Caldwell, Matt Caldwell and Katy Kesterson — she’s married now, helped out, but some traditions went by the wayside. “I think we had spaghetti for Thanksgiving because there was no way… Christmas, we missed Christmas completely. It was like, ‘Here’s some money and you can go buy your own presents. I’m sorry, it’s the best I can do.’ They were all old enough to know things weren’t going perfectly.

“It’s funny now because anytime I get a hiccup, they’re like, ‘Are you okay?’ Now they over-worry some. Without them, there wouldn’t have been a reason to do it. God puts us here for a reason. There are many things you’re supposed to do. Sometimes I tell Him He’s going to have to get me through it.”

“I did not have a bad time. Personally, yes. I wouldn’t want to do it again, but compared to what some other people go through, I had it easy. I know people who have had double mastectomies, thought they were fine and had to go back through stuff again. It’s not a disease I would wish on anybody. I don’t hate anybody enough for that, even the small stuff.”

“It scared my sister to death. They have genetic testing they will do there at CHI. I went through that to see if there were any genetic things that were showing up on me so my sister would know, and my kids would know. Not a single genetic thing showed up at all.

The 5-year-breast cancer-specific survival rate for stage I Breast Cancer is 98%-100%. according to Weiss A, Chavez-MacGregor M, Lichtensztajn DY, et al. Validation study of the American Joint Committee on Cancer eighth edition prognostic stage compared with the anatomic stage in breast cancer.

JAMA Oncol. 4(2):203-209, 2018,

Still, one must remain vigilant. “This year I had a little bit of a scare during my self-exam. I found a knot. CHI was really good and got me in for another mammogram. What I was feeling was just a calcification, but they did find something else about three months ago. They did a needle biopsy at the mammogram center. It came back and was just a calcification. I can tell you right now, just the thought — first, finding the lump was scary; waiting on the results — you just keep on going. You do everything you have to do, but it was one of the most times I’ve been the most nervous in quite some time.

“I do know that when the girls start getting the right ages they’ll start getting checked.”

The age for getting checked has been getting younger. The U.S. Preventative Services Task Force once recommended routine mammograms at age 50. New and more inclusive science about breast cancer in people younger than 50 has enabled them to expand their prior recommendation and encourage all women to get screened in their 40s. They have long known that screening for breast cancer saves lives, and the science now supports all women getting screened, every other year, starting at age 40.

“My dad came down with prostate cancer in his 50s,” Caldwell said. “He thought he had it beat and died… I think he was 58 or 59. Everything is starting sooner now.”

There have been some local people who have complained, stating that articles on breast cancer are unnecessary because women are already aware of the disease. One offended woman said, “I don’t need to read it. Women know about breast cancer.”

Caldwell’s response, “Goodness, we don’t know a thing about it. We don’t know why we get it, sometimes. We don’t have a clue. I don’t smoke or have any bad habits. I might have an occasional drink and that’s it.

“Get checked! That little bit of pressure for a little bit of time is a whole lot better than going through any of the rest of it. I can’t stress it enough. And I was an every-five-year mammogram person. I hit 50, and I thought maybe a little more often, especially after my dad… just cancer in the family. I decided to start doing it every year. If they hadn’t found it when it was small a year later, there’s no telling how far along it would’ve been. It wasn’t painful. I didn’t feel anything. When you’re finding lumps, it’s not like there’s a big ol’ lump there. Something’s just not smooth as you’re running your hands.

“If you don’t want to do it every year, at least go get a baseline so there’s something for them to look at the next time to see if there are any changes.

Remaining positive

Readers may have noticed that Caldwell laughs a throughout many of her answers. Those who know her know that it’s just her effervescence. She’s got a good sense of humor, and despite her health scares, she remains upbeat and positive. And, why not? Studies are being done to see whether or not laughter and humor have a healing effect that See CALDWELL continued on page 13

CALDWELL continued from page 12 can be measured. The same for remaining positive as often as one can.

“If you haven’t been around somebody who’s had it, you don’t know what they go through. Most women, I think when they get it, try to stay upbeat for their families, try to get everything done at home, try to get everything done at work, try to take care of all of their commitments. It’s hard on the person who has it, it’s hard on the family around them and it’s hard on the person who has to pick up the pieces. I wouldn’t want to do it by myself.”

Her advice for anyone confronting breast cancer for the first time. “Make a list of what your most important things are. Forget the ones that aren’t. You’ve got to prioritize. If you don’t put yourself in the top three or four of the things you’re working for, it’s going to make your life so much more difficult getting through it. I was always on the bottom of my list before and I had a long list of things to do.

“I was lucky that my job worked with me because I was missing half a day every day of the week. Toward the end, the second half of the day I was basically, ‘Hand me the paper you want me to sign.’ I had my kids, and at that point I had to put me after them. Everything else took back seats, if not in the wagon, then behind us.

“There were a few things I let go of that I don’t miss them or even feel guilty. There are some I had to let go that I think maybe I should’ve kept up with that a little bit more.”

When someone is accustomed to be- ing so active between work, family, organizations and hobbies, it’s difficult at times for those people to learn to slow down. Caldwell said she finds that to be true.

“All my friends say, ‘Phyllis, you have to learn the word ‘no’.’ My kids say I know it,” she joked. “We’re looking for more volunteers at the fairground so I can say no more often. We’re looking for more volunteers at the Elks so I can so no more often. Volunteer work is important. I love it.”

What’s next?

“Anytime that anything comes up that’s a little hinky, it’s like, ‘Hey. Can we test that?’ and they’ll say, ‘It’s fine, Phyllis. It’s from a sunburn ages and ages ago, or it’s just a mole. It hasn’t changed in years.’ It makes you a lot more conscious of things. Before, if I’d found that little bitty knot any other time, I wouldn’t have thought anything about it. I definitely wouldn’t have been calling the next day and saying I need another mammogram.”

During her interview for Women in Business, Caldwell said, “Believe in yourself. Know that if you don’t have a specific skill, you can still learn it. I am a firm believer that you can do it all.”

Caldwell certainly does quite a lot… including surviving a heart attack and breast cancer. “Now, I’ve got grandkids. That was another thing. I’ve got three grandkids I get to see right now, and the other kids don’t even have kids yet.

“Once you’re through it, it makes you love your life more.”