For What It’s Worth

So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, about why most of our lives have become so hectic, and lamenting over the good old days. Of course, I know that in hindsight, it was probably hectic back then as well, but I miss the idle time I used to have, even though my husband and I raised four children. Still, it seemed as though there was plenty of time to sit at dinner and go over each other’s day, talk about upcoming plans, and maybe sit down for a quiet evening while the children went to their rooms to do homework. What the heck happened?!

I’m going to go out on a limb here, and blame the internet, and possibly technology in general, but as I write these words, I feel the entire population ganging up on me. Yes, I use the internet everyday. Yes, I ask google for answers to questions that I’m too lazy to research, and yes, I’m on my computer as a writer, non-stop, so who am I to make unkind remarks about the internet? I don’t disagree. All I’m saying is that I feel like families are losing valuable teaching moments, emotional moments, and yes, even punitive moments because everyone has a device in their hands and are spending an inordinate amount of time that could be spent interacting with others. I remember when texting rst became a thing. I thought it was ridiculous. I didn’t see the point of it. If I had something to say, I could just call the person.

by Dr. Melfi, Ph.D.

en, a er free time was sucked into the atmosphere, I realized the beauty of texting. A sentence is typed and received within moments, and the receive answers immediately. ere is no interruption in time management. In fact, you can be speaking to someone on the phone, and texting someone else at the same time. Magic! I don’t know how we ever lived without texting.

But, I digress. Now, when my grandchildren come over, they are glued to their iPads. In restaurants, I see perfectly well-behaved children with their parents, who are free to dine with the other adults free of the inconvenience of their children’s whining or back-talking, because their children are otherwise involved in FaceTime, Tik-Tok, video games and the like. It seems like a winwin, but sometimes I wonder if it isn’t a lose-lose. When I was a child eating at a grownup dinner table, I had to sit politely, and endure an hour or more of adults reminiscing about generational stories that were handed down from one to another. ose stories may be dying at the dinner table as we speak, because children have no interest in hearing them, and are not subjected to sitting there listening. It feels like our ancestors are begging for a chance to be remembered, but the younger generation has little interest in hearing about anything that doesn’t pertain to them or o er immediate grati cation. Please understand,

I’m speaking in generalities, not about your children or grandchildren speci cally. I am simply stating that I feel a great loss of free time, storytelling, family time, and just lazy fun in general.

But how do we go back? e sad news is that we don’t. Without technology, we would have to live o the grid, or on another planet to communicate the way we used to. Everything is done with the internet, and even that is changing so quickly I can barely keep up. For those of us who are of a certain age, it seems like we are falling behind quickly, with no chance of catching our breath.

For What it’s Worth, I’d like just one more day of being in a family where it was exciting to nish dinner and look forward to putting a puzzle together or playing a good old fashioned game of monopoly, but that’s just me. A hopeless romantic, and wide-eyed optimist.

Comments or Suggestions DrMelfi@mediaoms.com