Mutuality 26.3 | Autumn 2019

Fall 2019

Men and women serving and leading as equals

Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School 5 Strategies for Empowering Women in the Classroom page 4

Women at Work: 3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Graduated College page 11

It’s Not Easy Being A Woman Professor: Subverting Sexism in Higher Education page 16

CONTENTS 4 8 11 16 19 22

D E PA R T M E N T S 3 From the Editor Risky Business: Being Female At an Evangelical University

5 Strategies for Empowering Women in the Classroom A teacher shares how she encourages girls in school.

by Sarah Lindsay

Girls Are Bad at Math and Other Lies that Limit Women and Girls Uncovering the dangers of sexist stereotypes for female students.

by Devon Leslie

Women at Work: 3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Graduated College

15 Praise and Prayer 26 Reflect with Us Education Polishes Gems

27 Giving Opportunities 28 Ministry News 30 President’s Message Humanity Flourishes When We Invest in Girls’ Education

How to succeed as a woman professional when the system is rigged.

by Eeva Sallinen Simard

It’s Not Easy Being a Woman Professor: Subverting Sexism in Higher Education A female professor exposes gender bias in academia.

by Camden Morgante

An Egalitarian Man in a Complementarian Bible School

ED ITO R IAL STAF F Guest Editor: Rachel Asproth Graphic Designer: Mary Quint Publisher/President: Mimi Haddad

Lessons learned from advocating for female students in unfriendly spaces.

by Cody Marks Fall 2019

Modesty, a Fairytale Witch, and Growing Up Dangerous

A former homeschool student examines purity culture and body shame.

by Chesna Hinkley

Men and women serving and leading as equals

Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School

Mutuality is published quarterly by CBE International, 122 W Franklin Ave, Suite 218; Minneapolis, MN 55404-2451.

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5 Strategies for Empowering Women in the Classroom page 4

Women at Work: 3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Graduated College page 11

It’s Not Easy Being A Woman Professor: Subverting Sexism in Higher Education page 16

Mutuality vol. 26, no. 3, Fall 2019 Cover design by Mary Quint Mutuality (ISSN: 1533-2470) exists to make egalitarian theology accessible to the non-scholar and to explore its intersection with everyday life.

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From the Editor

by Rachel Asproth

Risky Business: Being Female At An Evangelical University I was a bright-eyed literature student when I first entered undergrad at an evangelical university. Sometime between my sophomore and junior year there, I became equally passionate about women’s equality and social injustice. I no longer quite fit in the English department, so I began looking for a second intellectual home.

At the time, faculty and administrators were debating the launch of a gender studies department. There were whispers among students that certain professors opposed the addition because they feared it might lead to “harder stuff.” I later had the honor of being one of the first students to complete a gender studies minor. Still, I never forgot that some of my professors apparently thought it was risky to learn about women’s experiences. It seemed that my femaleness had been judged a threat, an irritation, a source of dangerous knowledge.

posters certainly did not encourage respect for female classmates and future colleagues.

For my senior qualitative research project, I examined yet another pervasive expression of patriarchy (and racism) at my evangelical university. I called it the “single beauty narrative,” and it referred to what I perceived as a narrow, homogenous beauty standard. Female students in interviews and focus groups demonstrated a belief that their male peers monitored and evaluated everything from what they wore to how they behaved in class to determine if they were “wife material.”

Some women cried as they described struggling to conform to the crushing pressure to be thin, beautiful, and well-dressed. Women of color also stated that they did not fit the university’s narrow beauty standard. My study confirmed female students’ worst fears. Many male It is clear to me now that male and female students participants did equate attractiveness with thinness and were not attending the same university. Women were whiteness. One student said: “when I close my eyes and uniquely pressured to look and behave in certain ways. A think of a beautiful girl, it’s going to be a white girl.” Some male student once created and hung posters on campus male respondents stated that they preferred women who instructing female students on how to wear leggings were pretty but not women who were “all that.” “appropriately” and without being “too revealing.” The student acted without university approval and the posters Male students’ expectations for how women should look were removed, but it remains that he felt entitled to offer also mirrored their beliefs about how women should public, unsolicited feedback on what women should and act in the classroom. Some male students expressed a belief that women could be know-it-alls in class, ask too should not wear. many questions, or be too social. One female student The university itself also communicated support for gender summarized it this way: “women are told to be docile, to be roles. There was the Sadie Hawkins tradition, when female enough, but not too much in strength, smarts, beauty. You students invited male students to join them for a weekend want to look put-together, but not like you’re trying too of “date activities.” While beloved, the practice implied hard. It’s this impossible balance. And, I think in beauty it that women asking men out is contra to the norm, and that shows up that way too.” romantic assertiveness in women is acceptable one night a year. University and student-produced media alike upheld Female students at my evangelical university experienced strict gender roles: ideal women were docile and supportive both misogyny and racism. We were asked to conform and ideal men were strong and assertive. Men initiated and to impossible standards. And we are not the only ones to struggle against injustice in the classroom. Women and women responded. girls all over the world face bias in school. From primary There were also the prominently-pinned advertisements school to undergraduate to seminary, the system is not for cooking classes depicting a 50s housewife. What built for us. But we can change that. In this issue, we kind of message did they send to female students? invite you to explore gender bias in the classroom and what That the kitchen is where they belong? At minimum, Christians can do to challenge it. they made it hard for female students to believe the university respected women. Such images also made In Peace, female students question if our male peers and professors Rachel Asproth took us seriously. And what about male students? The bookstore :

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M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 3

5 Strategies for Empowering Women in the Classroom

by Sarah Lindsay As my classmates in my current seminary courses would no doubt be shocked to learn, I was once the quiet student in the class. In fact, I was the stereotypical quiet young woman: I sat in the front row, rarely skipped, took detailed notes, and received consistently good grades. But I almost never volunteered my opinion, preferring to contribute only when asked or when I was certain of my answer.

My quietness was, no doubt, partially due to my introverted personality and my unfamiliarity with the classroom context, since I had been homeschooled for nearly my entire education prior to college. But some of my reluctance to speak was also, I now realize, due to internalized social pressures.

As other articles in this issue point out, women in educational settings are often subject to expectations and pressures— occasionally explicit, often hidden— that stifle our voices in the classroom. I had accepted the idea that girls should not be outspoken, and I believed that I should not contribute unless I felt confident that I had the right answer.

Both of these are common beliefs among young women in classroom settings.

In my second year of graduate school, I enrolled in a history seminar with a prominent historian. I knew it would be a challenging course, especially because it was outside my own department. I was intimidated before I even walked into the room on the first day, and for the first few sessions I was even quieter than normal!

But then, one day when I was trying to melt into my chair because I had not yet finished the assigned readings, my professor turned to me and asked for my opinion on our topic. I turned bright red and stammered something about not having finished the reading, sure that I would be met with a disappointed look.

So, what changed?

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Much to my surprise, though, the professor did not let me off the hook.

She asked if I had read the introduction and conclusion of the book under discussion, which I had, and then she coached me through how to contribute to the discussion with the imperfect knowledge I did have. At this moment in the classroom, I finally realized that it was okay for me to be wrong in the exchange of ideas that yields knowledge.

No one teacher can singlehandedly undo years of social conditioning, which means that it is not enough to simply stop perpetuating sexism.

In addition to countering our own biases, as teachers we must actively create classroom environments that support women.

Coincidently, I was taking this seminar at the same time that I was teaching my first college class. My professor supported and encouraged my voice in the classroom, which inspired me to work toward doing the same in my own classrooms, especially for young female students. This has been my primary goal in every teaching environment I have since entered.

pressures and biases that keep women silent. There is, obviously, no magic formula; all teachers know that we cannot engage every student in every class. But over my years of teaching, I have developed several strategies for creating spaces where women feel free and empowered to actively participate.

Here are five of them:

I am passionate about creating classroom spaces in which students, and especially women students, can thrive because having such a space made a huge difference in my life and career.

I also became invested in creating an empowering space for female students upon noticing that many of my teachers and then colleagues—even well-meaning or brilliant professors— had never considered the unconscious and internalized biases that women experience in the classroom.

I have heard colleagues, primarily men, lament how infrequently women in their classes speak and I suspect this is the complaint of many college professors. But typically, they have never considered how they might create a classroom that counterbalances the

Acknowledge Implicit Bias The first step that a teacher must take is to do an honest assessment of their own implicit biases. And not just men; women can also perpetuate sexism, however unintentionally. Sometimes this bias comes out in calling on men more than women in class, or in allowing men to talk over women or dominate conversations. Still other times, it is a subtle tendency to reinforce the expectation that young women should behave well while young men are allowed to take risks.

Assessing implicit bias allows teachers to determine how they may be negatively impacting the women in

As study after study suggests, failure, risktaking, and resilience are vital character traits.

That means that, as teachers, we need to support the whole learning process in students— which often involves being wrong. bookstore :

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their classrooms and making it less likely that women will be active and engaged participants.

But no one teacher can singlehandedly undo years of social conditioning, which means that it is not enough to simply stop perpetuating sexism. In addition to countering our own biases, as teachers we must actively create classroom environments that support women.

Model Process: It’s Okay to Be Wrong Many women struggle with confidence, as my own classroom anxiety shows.

We want to be certain that we are right before we volunteer an answer or our opinion, whereas men are more likely to offer ideas and roll with the criticism they receive. But as study after study suggests, failure, risk-taking, and resilience are vital character traits. That means that, as teachers, we need to support the whole learning process in students—which often involves being wrong.

One way to support this sort of risktaking in the classroom is to simply treat all student contributions with respect, regardless of how off-themark they may be. I know this sounds idealistic and I also know that it can be difficult to do this well. But when students know that they will not be ridiculed or belittled for making mistakes, they become more willing to offer their ideas without waiting to be absolutely certain they are right.

M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 5

Another way to show students that ignorance and error are part of the learning process is to admit to our own ignorance or our own mistakes. Letting students see that learning is a constant process, not a static arrival, can also give them a boost in confidence and a willingness to participate in the classroom.

Provide Multiple Options for Participation My teaching experience comes from the humanities, where class discussions are the standard gauge for participation.

But some students, whether due to personality or social conditioning, are intimidated by this type of classroom participation. And, thanks to the confidence gap between men and women, women students are typically more likely to withdraw from large class discussions.

Some students, whether due to personality or social conditioning, are intimidated by this type of classroom participation—and thanks to the confidence gap between men and women, women students are typically more likely to withdraw from large class discussions.

Providing multiple forms of participation will support students who may find it intimidating to share their thoughts with the class. Short writing prompts provide students with time to think through responses; small

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group discussions often encourage quieter students to participate in conversations.

These methods benefit male students as well by supporting anyone who wants to engage but is uncomfortable talking in a larger group.

Manage Class Discussions A long with providing multiple forms of participation, teachers who use classroom discussions must commit to carefully managing those discussions. We have all been in a group where an instructor allows one or two students, often men, to dominate; those situations are rarely conducive to engaged learning for anyone. Be sure to draw out quieter students, especially women. If one or two very confident students consistently control the class’s discussion, students with less confidence will be less and less willing to engage.

Explicitly Encourage Participation Finally, as my own experience as a student shows, teachers boost confidence when they encourage women to speak up, share

As my own experience as a student shows, teachers boost confidence when they encourage women to speak up, share ideas, and voice opinions. This can take a variety of forms: calling on women as often as men, coaching women through their presentations, or writing notes on essays or exams asking women to share their ideas more often. website :

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ideas, and voice opinions. This can take a variety of forms: calling on women as often as men, coaching women through their presentations, or writing notes on essays or exams asking women to share their ideas more often.

In my case, the extra coaching didn’t change my introversion; I still take my time before I venture an opinion in a larger group. But it did help me understand that my thoughts, even when imperfect, added value to classroom

We must recognize the stereotypes and social conditioning that can hinder women in the classroom, and then create educational spaces that actively support women as they learn. conversations. And I have carried that confidence with me into many other areas of life, to my benefit.

We must recognize the stereotypes and social conditioning that can hinder women in the classroom, and then create educational spaces that actively support women as they learn. Many of these suggestions will benefit men as well as women—but teachers should specifically consider the extra support their women students may need.

This is perhaps even more crucial in Christian schools, universities, and seminaries (and especially complementarian institutions), where women may feel even more pressure to be quiet and allow men to take the lead. Christian educators should likewise employ these five strategies to empower female students to use their

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God-given gifts and contribute equally to their male peers in the classroom.

Together, we can construct safe, supportive classrooms where women can be who they are as well as make mistakes. Those of us who have the privilege and responsibility of teaching must commit to encouraging and empowering women in our classrooms to take risks, reject perfectionism, and gain confidence.

Sarah Lindsay is a recovering academic with a passion for the middle ages, baking, and science fiction. She currently lives in the Chicagoland area with one husband, two dogs, and three daughters who inspire her to advocate for gender equality. Sarah blogs at intoresurrection.com and tweets @drlindsay.

M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 7

Girls Are Bad at Math and Other Lies That Limit Women and Girls

by Devon Leslie

When I was in elementary school, my exploratory music teacher had us count the beats in a measure of music.

Asking our class for the answer, she qualified: “Boys, you’re supposed to be good at math. I’ll wait for one of you to answer.” She ignored not only my hand, but also the hands of several other female students around me. That night, I told my parents what happened. They were—rightfully—furious. I quickly backtracked and assured them that she had not meant it the way it sounded, that I had somehow misunderstood what she said. I was unhappy with her comment, yes, but I convinced myself that it was not a big deal. It happened all the time; there was no use getting upset over it. Mostly, I did not want my music teacher to get in trouble. My hurt

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and discomfort at her words did not seem worth endangering her job.

Yet this kind of subtle sexism in school is significant and we should not ignore it. It paves the way for more flagrant inequality between male and female students as they get older, perpetuated by administrators, teachers, and even students themselves.

As Christians, we should be concerned about this kind of bias in our education system. Subtle sexism denigrates the image of God in girls and women and makes them feel like they are less capable and worthy than their male peers.

In most cases, we do not disregard subtle sexism out of hatred or antiwomen sentiment. No, I think we ignore these incidences because we have been socialized to believe that offensive

behaviors and comments are acceptable, or at least not notable. We teach girls to be proud of not having female friends because “girls are so much drama” (this is an actual quote from my sixth gradeself). We press them to ignore and minimize anything that makes them uncomfortable because “it’s better not to rock the boat.” I have often talked myself out of being upset about a negative comment or experience in the classroom, dismissing valid feelings of anger and hurt as no big deal.

Discriminatory school dress codes unfairly target girls, sexualizing and policing their bodies. They are not flagged as problematic or demeaning of girls’ dignity and self-image. Sex education programs in schools do

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not properly or respectfully teach students— especially female students—about bodies, consent, boundaries, and healthy relationships yet they are not seen as worrisome or incomplete.

Smaller aggressions (and concessions) like these create an environment where larger incidents of sexism and misogyny can later be ignored or downplayed, because we have learned that subtle sexism is acceptable. Schools don’t exist in a bubble. They ref lect—and reinforce—the beliefs and values of our society. The effects of growing up in a gender-biased schooling system don’t fade the minute we walk across the high school graduation stage. In college, I have met both men and women who support strict dress codes for female students. I have talked to people who believe that women are better-suited to teaching early education than secondary or post-secondary education. I have seen girls struggle to find their vocations because of what they have been told women are supposed to do and be.

The lingering effects of internalized patriarchy became clearer to me after meeting my now apartment-mate Caroline, a math and secondary education major. Caroline’s favorite things to talk about are math (calculus, specifically) and her lesson plans for future math classes. Our sophomore year of college, Caroline wrote a research paper on the effects of education socialization on girls and their entry into STEM fields. In it, she asserted that stereotypes about girls, such as that girls aren’t good at math (sound familiar?), discourage women from declaring STEM majors in college or pursuing STEM careers.

Smaller aggressions (and concessions) like these create an environment where larger incidents of sexism and misogyny can later be ignored or downplayed, because we have learned that subtle sexism is acceptable.

It also did not escape my notice that almost all my elementary school teachers were women.

Or that more and more of my teachers were men as I got older. In college, almost all my professors were men. Currently, seventy-seven percent of public school teachers are women, but eighty-six percent of school superintendents are men, according to the School Superintendents Association. Why does that matter?

When a girl sees only men in positions of power in her school and does not see female teachers and professors in higher education, she will form unwritten (and self-limiting) expectations about what women can and cannot do. And when boys do not see healthy male role models in teaching positions in primary school,

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negative stereotypes about males can be reinforced too. In short, what students see and hear becomes what they expect to always see and hear.

And, the same goes for church. Our college’s male chaplain preaches most Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.

I have begun to expect that even our guest speakers will be men. When I learned that our new chapel series was dedicated to making space for women’s voices, I was pleasantly surprised. That is, until I saw that “making space for women’s voices” really translated to making space for just a few women’s voices. Even our women-focused series featured more male speakers than females! If young people see only men in the pulpit and in ministry leadership at Christian colleges, universities, and seminaries, they will expect to always see and hear men in the pulpit. In elevating the preaching of men only, we make it difficult for women and girls to picture themselves in church leadership.

The ramifications of a school system (and a church) that undermines women’s and girls’ gifts and leadership and promotes

Nearly every girl will be affected by sexist comments and behaviors in school, and even subtle aggressions can have lasting consequences. negative expectations of men and boys are far reaching. Misogyny is incredibly pervasive in US society, as in much of the world. Our education institutions are constructed on a system that historically demeans girls—patriarchy. While schooling today has evolved to better support female students, our progress cannot offset the damage done by a culture that forces girls to be tolerant and docile in the face of subtle sexism. We can do better. As Shuri, fictional female technology genius from Marvel’s Black Panther, said: “just because something works doesn’t mean it can’t be improved.”

sole reason that I am not the world’s foremost mathematician right now. My lack of interest in math holds that honor.

But I was not the only girl in that music room, and I am, by far, not the only girl who has heard someone of importance (i.e., a teacher or parent) say that math and science are not for girls. And this is the issue. We can laugh about how dumb and wrong those comments are, but that doesn’t change the fact that most schools are biased against girls. Nearly every girl will be affected by sexist comments and behaviors in school, and even subtle aggressions can have lasting consequences.

I do not claim that my music teacher’s comments about girls and math are the

I should not have felt the need to defend my music teacher to my parents that day, and my apartment mate should not have to plan how she is going to show her female students that math really is for girls. But we do, because our education system does a supreme disservice to girls and boys in forcing arbitrary limitations on them and their futures. We have the power to change that system.

Our education institutions are constructed on a system that historically demeans girls—patriarchy.

While schooling today has evolved to better support female students, our progress cannot offset the damage done by a culture that forces girls to be tolerant and docile in the face of subtle sexism. We can do better.

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Devon Leslie is from Baltimore, Maryland, and is currently studying international development at Gordon College in Wenham, Massachusetts. When in Baltimore, Devon loves finding the best glutenfree dessert Baltimore has to offer and being with her family.

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Women at Work:

3 Things I Wish I Knew When I Graduated College

by Eeva Sallinen Simard A couple of semesters ago, I audited a “Gender & Development” class in the undergraduate sociology department at Johns Hopkins University. My fellow students were generous enough with me, their new classmate nearly two decades their senior and whose streams of commentary almost always began with: “in practice though…” Undaunted by my cautions, these young female scholars made some of the most compelling and well-verbalized arguments for gender equality I have ever heard. They navigated easily through the three waves of feminism to economic theories to gender ethics of the current day. Impressed by the brilliance of these twentysomethings, I announced during the final class that “if the future of the fight for equality is left to the likes of you, we are in excellent hands.”

If only it were that easy, I thought afterwards. I so wish I could have told those bright young women about the challenges they will face as they enter their careers and endeavor to find satisfaction in their work and lives.

I did not want to be that person, warning optimistic young women about future obstacles—and that the odds of success are ever stacked against them. I fear, though, that if we don’t have open conversations about workplace and cultural challenges, if we don’t call out hurdles by name, we set women up for failure when they enter the workplace.

What is ahead of these young scholars is what has been ahead of women during all three waves of feminism and since the dawn of humanity. Yes, the ratio of male to female college students has flipped from the 1970s

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M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 11

and women are now fifty-six percent of US college students. But despite their increased representation and the fact that women often exceed the achievements of their male classmates in school, they will not enter an equal workforce or be equally paid for their work. Conditions for success in their careers of choice will be even more unequal. Women are still just as likely to opt out of a career after the birth of a child today as they were thirty years ago, at nineteen percent for women with bachelor’s degrees and thirty percent for master’s degree graduates.

These statistics tell a familiar story: though degree programs across the board are filled with women who are as capable, brilliant, and ambitious as their male counterparts, women still make up only twenty percent of the senior level leadership of organizations, including Christian NGOs. Despite all this, I am convinced that the current state of things does not have to be permanent.

God clearly wants women to thrive and use their gifts to the fullest—first in the classroom and then in the workplace.

How do we know that?

God Wants Women to Thrive.

Scripture often teaches us to hold seemingly opposing ideas in tension.

We are asked to give generously in order to experience financial freedom.

We are to welcome and care for people, though they are strangers to us. Amid tribulation, we are told to fear not.

Here is another one: men and women were created different and yet in the very same image of God. We are designed by God to work together as equals. God did not intend for one to oppress the other, or for one to thrive at the expense of the other. Rather, the work and leadership of creation was to be mutual and shared. This mutuality implies a spirit of “give-and-take” in male-female relationships. Though

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the thriving of one may come at a cost for another, so the other may at times have to sacrifice for the good of their counterpart. As long as we miss God’s plan for the co-creativity and co-laboring of men and women as true and equal allies, our schools, organizations, churches, and families will be held back.

When I was girl, my family went through a difficult financial season and yet my single mom continued to tithe. When I asked her why she persisted instead of using those dollars to provide for her four daughters, she

replied: “It’s the only way I know how to test God’s faithfulness on the days I can’t feel his presence.”

What if we took God’s mandate to be co-laborers as seriously as my mom took her conviction to tithe? What if we believed that the only way communities and workplaces will prosper is by the co-laboring of men and women together?

Women are missing at top tiers of leadership, in research labs, and generally around the table when important decisions with lasting consequences for both men and women

We need to build a culture of mutuality in the workplace, where women make decisions, share burdens, and reap equal benefits to their male peers. website :

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are made. Melinda Gates speaks to this point in her mustread 2019 book, The Moment of Lift. “Diversity is the best way to defend equality,” she says. “If people from diverse groups are not making decisions, the burdens and benefits will be divided unequally and unfairly—with the people writing the rules ensuring themselves greater share of the benefits and lesser share of the burdens of any society. If you are not brought in, you get sold out.”

workplace: it was originally designed to keep them at home.

Today’s foosball tables and sleeping pods can’t make up for what really matters to many working women—emphasis on collaboration and relationship, project-based work, flexibility, inclusivity, and equality. And, pressure to fill a supporting gender role in the home often carries into their work, where women end up doing most of the office housekeeping work: meeting notes, coffee-making, and clean up.

We desperately need women like my brilliant, twentysomething classmates to have long and successful careers and, especially, to fill leadership positions. We need to build a culture of mutuality in the workplace, where women make decisions, share burdens, and reap equal benefits to their male peers.

So, to my sociology classmates I say: look for a workplace with a safe and welcoming culture for women, a place where you will be counted. A great brand or interesting job description are not enough to bring long-term job satisfaction. If a job continuously requires you to hold back big pieces of yourself or your life, it is not sustainable.

This is what I hope for the young women in my class, and I want to do whatever I can to help them, and other women entering their careers, reach that benchmark. With that goal in mind, here are three things I wish I had known when I entered my own career.

We can only move the needle toward a better workplace for women if we refuse the old normal. Women must expect to be counted.

Ask to Be Counted.

The phrase “not counting women and children” is common in Scripture. From the Old Testament to the New, men are accounted for. Women are often omitted from the tally of masses who marched to war, from the stories of Israel’s exile in different lands, and from accounts of people that were healed and fed by Jesus. Women and children were treated as an afterthought—their numbers often only estimated in proportion to the carefully counted number of men (heads of households). This “head of household” model has, until recent years, dominated much of how we see the world. In her book, Melinda Gates highlights the problem with scientists’ assumption that men, as “heads of households,” knew best how to build effective agricultural programs in developing countries. It wasn’t until women—who actually worked the fields—were also heard that such programs saw success.

In other words, because they failed to count (and consult) women, communities were unable to flourish.

The “head of household” model was also deployed to construct the modern workplace. What we take for granted now—the nine-to-five work hours (in best, healthiest cases), people sitting at their desks for extended periods or in long meetings, business travel, rounds of golf or drinks after hours with colleagues—became the norm during the Industrial Revolution. The current office system was created to apprehend the full availability of the (male) employee— and it assumed the presence of someone else (a wife/woman) taking care of things on the home front.

It is no wonder so many women feel unsatisfied with the

Patriarchy is a strong force in our society. It causes many churches and communities to be wary of women who reach outside of traditional gender roles.

Existing support systems often favor those who stay in their lane and perform the traditional tasks designated as “women’s work.”

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Construct a Strong It is painful to try to succeed when the Support System. voices around us constantly question A good friend of mine stopped attending her church after she received a job promotion. Her church did not support women in pastoral or eldership roles and the community in general did not celebrate women who succeed in their careers. She was without support and people with whom to share her struggles and accomplishments. The church missed an opportunity to strengthen a gifted woman, and I suspect there are many others like her in churches all over the US. Patriarchy is a strong force in our society. It causes many churches and communities to be wary of women who reach outside of traditional gender roles. Existing support systems often favor those who stay in their lane and perform the traditional tasks designated as “women’s work.” It is

our decisions and right to be there. We need people who are consistently in our corner, contributing to our career growth and success. painful to try to succeed when the voices around us constantly question our decisions and right to be there. We need people who are consistently in our corner, contributing to our career growth and success.

Support is truly a system. It is a network of husbands, sisters, mothers, friends.

It is fair, paid maternity leave and generous benefits packages. It is healthy

organizational culture and a church community that supports and models women’s leadership. We need to select support networks that are in our corner and helping us to grow and succeed.

I am blessed to have a partner who embraces my full equality. I was a fairly ambitious master’s degree student when we first met, but “egalitarian” was not one of my top five reasons why I married him. It is now. Without him, I could not have gone back to school with two small children and then excelled (and stumbled) in my career only to turn around and try something new. I cannot imagine trudging through all these career stages without his full and unequivocal support.

My second piece of advice to my young classmates is this: do not go on your professional journeys alone.

Establish key allies from the start and make sure your spouse—if you choose to marry—is one of them. Figure out your must-haves and negotiate (don’t be afraid to be difficult) until you get what matters to you.

Tell Yourself It’s Okay to Be LessThan-Perfect.

I often hear the argument that women “do this to themselves.” Some people believe that women are responsible for their own underrepresentation in leadership. I have

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even bought into that lie myself at times.

Yes, women desire personal fulfilment, and we want to live out our callings without sacrificing our health, and every hour of our days, in the process. Work culture is not designed to accommodate the demands of small children, aging parents, and other responsibilities that generally fall to women. Without support in the workplace, women (especially mothers) may settle for lower level roles or even opt out of professional careers altogether. But it is workplaces that make it near impossible to juggle household management/childcare and careers, not women themselves. We need comprehensive workplace reform if we want to close the gender representation gap. But motherhood isn’t the only reason women do not fill many top leadership roles, and research shows that men and women leave or stay with their organizations at a similar rate. So what else is going on?

A talented friend of mine opted out of her career when her baby was born.

When I asked her why, she replied, “I can’t stand the idea of being spread

too thin and being perfect at neither motherhood nor my job.”

Many women feel like they must make a choice between work and motherhood because they cannot perform perfectly in multiple areas. They have been taught that they need to be perfect at all times and at all things. In other words, they are being held (and sometimes hold themselves) to an impossible standard. And if they miss that impossible standard, they feel like they failed not only themselves but everyone who depends on them. I think we have to start aggressively socializing girls to be less-than-perfect. We have confused perfectionism with thriving. In the process, we have trained those around us to expect perfect from women, rather than just our full-hearted presence. As long as women show up in the workplace as perfect, quiet, efficient, and small, and as long as we hold back all the uncomfortably big pieces of ourselves, we will not thrive.

My classmates, this is my last piece of advice for you: be less-than-perfect.

Practice showing up as fully yourself—

with all your God-given nooks, crannies, and flaws. Do not try to polish yourself to make others comfortable. And do not stop looking until you find a place where you can truly thrive.

I wish I had known these three things when I entered my career many years ago. There have been countless times when I thought that I somehow failed to figure out how to thrive in my work. Only in recent years have I begun to have these conversations in my industry and beyond, identifying the systemic and social obstacles that hold women back. I encourage other women and men, deep into their careers or just at the start, to tirelessly continue this important conversation.

Eeva Sallinen Simard has worked with non-profits for ten years and is committed to excellence in management and communication and the training of colleagues, particularly women. She is a co-convener of the Wheaton Consortium for Development, Gender, and Christianity. Eeva holds an MSc in international politics from the University of Helsinki and an MBA from Johns Hopkins University.

Praise

Prayer

• CBE’s 2019 “Created to Thrive” conference in Houston was a huge success! We are thankful for God’s blessing on CBE’s outreach at this event and we look forward to seeing its longterm impact.

• CBE’s president, Mimi Haddad, recently traveled to Kilgali, Rwanda, to speak at a conference on gender equality held by CBE ministry partner EFOGE. The event was a huge success, and was covered positively by local news stations. We expect great impact in the Kigali community!

• CBE awarded the Alvera Mickelsen Memorial Scholarship to three trailblazing women pursuing degrees in ministry. We look forward to following their successful careers and hope to offer financial support to more deserving women in the future.

• Thanks to CBE’s generous community, we were able to help fund 400 reusable sanitary pad kits hand-sewn by CBE’s Greater DC chapter. They will be given to girls and women in Uganda this month.

• CBE’s president, Mimi Haddad, injured her back while traveling to Kilgali, Rwanda. Pray for a fast and full recovery so Mimi is able to do the work she loves without any discomfort.

• CBE will hold an international conference in London next summer. Pray for ongoing planning, special interest from Christian NGOs, and passion and wisdom for conference staff.

• CBE is gearing up for the launch of our new website, which will be more user-friendly and far easier to navigate. Pray that CBE has correctly assessed the needs of our audience, and that our new website will help announce the news of biblical gender equality to even more people all over the world.

• One of CBE’s most important giving events is approaching! Giving Tuesday is December 3, 2019.

Pray that CBE’s Giving Tuesday appeals are wellreceived, and many are moved to support this ministry.

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M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 15

It’s Not Easy Being a Woman Professor:

with a female name—even when the actual professor was a male under a female pseudonym. Student course evaluations are commonly used for determining promotions and tenure, so the stakes are high and women are often judged unfairly due to these rating discrepancies.

Subverting Sexism in Higher Education

Another study explains that female professors face more student demands for favors like extra credit or re-doing work for a better grade. Furthermore, students are more likely to be upset when a female professor (versus a male professor) refuses those demands.

Students expect females to be more lenient and nurturing, and judge women more harshly when they don’t conform to these stereotypes. These biases disproportionately burden women and create a climate in which it is harder for females to advance in their academic careers.

by Camden Morgante “So, are you a student here too?” asked the young IT worker I called to fix my office computer. I smiled, wondering how the student missed my name on the office door, or the row of diplomas framed on the wall. “No, I’m a professor here.”

Sexism against women in college undoubtedly happens, but sexism against female college faculty is perhaps more often overlooked. As a thirtysomething woman professor

at a Christian university, I have a unique perspective on sexism in higher education. Before I share my own experiences, let’s look at the data.

I teach a psychology research course, and I require my students to read and critique a research-based article. Among the articles I assign are psychological studies on sexism toward female professors.

One study uses student evaluations from online courses to demonstrate that students give lower ratings to a professor

Fortunately, I have not experienced overt sexism at my university. My university does have females in leadership at all levels, from the board of directors to the president’s cabinet to the deans. Though I am pleased to see women included in these areas in my own sphere, I think there is still a lot more work to be done until women are equally represented in college faculty and administration. Women are now fifty-six percent of college students and receive about fifty-eight percent of graduate degrees in the United States, yet are only thirty-

Students expect females to be more lenient and nurturing, and judge women more harshly when they don’t conform to these stereotypes. These biases disproportionately burden women and create a climate in which it is harder for females to advance in their academic careers.

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Like me, other female professors were called “strict,” “mean,” and “cold” simply for sticking to course policies or refusing unreasonable requests. They also felt like more service work was expected of them, compared to their male colleagues, such as sponsoring a student organization or advising students. one percent of full-time faculty and thirty percent of university presidents.

Sexism against female faculty in higher education is often subtle. In my experience, it can come from well-meaning students who don’t intend to be hostile or aggressive. In course evaluations, students frequently comment on my personality or their interpersonal interactions with me— both positive and negative—rather than the quality of my teaching or the content of my courses. I have also had some humorous interactions with parents, students, and staff, who are surprised I am a professor. I’ve heard comments like “You’re a professor? You look like a student!” more times than I can count. I sometimes get emails addressed to “Ms.” or my first name instead of “Dr.” Students seem to expect more leniency on deadlines or assignment requirements.

They often assume their personal stress or relational problems are sufficient reasons for me to make exceptions to course policies.

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I am hardly alone in this experience. In an online forum, I asked fellow female psychology professors to share their experiences of sexism. The women stated that comments about their appearance, clothing, and hairstyle—even blatantly inappropriate ones—were common. They felt unfairly judged as “unapproachable,” “rigid,” and “unreasonable” for the same behavior that earned male professors labels like “tough but fair.” Like me, other female professors were called “strict,” “mean,” and “cold” simply for sticking to course policies or refusing unreasonable requests.

They also felt like more service work—extra responsibilities outside of teaching and research—was expected of them, compared to their male colleagues, such as sponsoring a student organization or advising students.

These incidents may seem minor, but all microagressions take a toll when you are exposed to them repeatedly.

You start to expect them, doubt yourself, and question your competence. For female professors who may already

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struggle with imposter syndrome—the feeling that you are “pretending” in your role and do not deserve to be there—comments like these do not help our confidence.

We cannot change a problem if we are unaware of it. We must admit our own personal blind spots and ignorance.

Even after my students review and critique the articles showing evidence of sexism against female professors, they are often quick to defend themselves. They claim they do not consider gender when they evaluate their professors.

But it is clear that my gender often unconsciously colors their expectations of me as a professor. If I fail to live up to their gender-based stereotypes that I will be more personable or informal, will they judge me more harshly than my male peers, as the research suggests? Most of my students come from traditional religious backgrounds, steeped in complementarian teachings. How do their beliefs about gender roles affect the way they see me, a thirty-something year-old woman with a doctorate, as

I am proud to model leadership and equality to my students—both female and male. I hope my female students see opportunities to pursue higher education, or to have both a thriving career and a family—like me. I hope I inspire my male students to have greater respect for the women in their lives, whether that means supporting their future wives in their career pursuits or seeking out female mentors in their careers.

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their college professor? How do their churches’ teachings on gender shape their beliefs about women in leadership?

How do their experiences with female role models limit their own dreams and goals?

I am proud to model leadership and equality to my students—both female and male. I hope my female students see opportunities to pursue higher education, or to have both a thriving career and a family—like me. I hope I inspire my male students to have greater respect for the women in their lives, whether that means supporting their future wives in their career pursuits or seeking out female mentors in their careers. I would also love to see the church support and celebrate more females in higher education, both students and faculty.

Though many egalitarians are aware that sexism against female faculty in higher education exists, they may not know how widespread it truly is and how significantly it can limit women. If you are not a college student or employee, you may wonder how this is relevant to you. I encourage you to consider how you treat all the female leaders in your life. Do you assume the female employees at your doctors’ office are the nurses, and the males are the doctors? Do you hold different expectations for your female colleagues than your male ones? Are you quick to judge or label women in ways you would not label a man?

If we want to improve the plight of females in education systems around the world, we must also consider how we treat female leaders in higher education. I believe egalitarians should be the first to call out these gender biases when we see them in our schools, universities, and seminaries, and to pursue biblical equality by encouraging women in the academy.

Camden Morgante lives in Knoxville, TN, with her husband and daughter. She has a doctorate of psychology and is a licensed clinical psychologist and a university assistant professor. She writes about psychology, culture, and Christianity on her website at www.drcamden.com.

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An Egalitarian Man in a Complementarian Bible School

by Cody Marks

The conversation went downhill very quickly.

“I don’t know if I would be comfortable with you working for a female pastor.” Trying to avoid (yet another) debate about women pastors, I retorted: “Well the incoming pastor is male.” “It’s the principle,” my significant other threw back.

Thankfully, the awkward exchange ended, and we shifted to another topic.

At that point, I had been attending an institution of higher learning in North Carolina that supports complementarian theology for several years. I was used to opposition to my support for female clergy and women in the pulpit. Time to add some additional context: I am a man and my significant other at the time—who expressed discomfort at the idea of a female pastor—is a woman. Yes, you read that correctly: I am an egalitarian man and female fellow students at my school of biblical studies (including my now ex-girlfriend) were some of the most vocal critics of my views.

How did I come to hold egalitarian values when so many of my classmates did not? Church was not a part of my early upbringing, but I plugged into the United Methodist Church (UMC) as a teenager, a denomination that has long recognized and affirmed women in ministry. In those early days of faith, I was blessed by many female clergy who saw a soul in need of community and poured out the love of God. These clergywomen have been some of the most impactful figures in my faith walk; their prayers have carried me into the pulpit I fill today as a lay pastor for a rural Methodist congregation. As an aside, I am thankful that the church I now pastor gave a woman pastor seven years to build her ministry skills and answer her calling prior to my tenure.

When I was a new believer, I heard a Bible study recorded by former US president Jimmy Carter. I was surprised when Carter mentioned the issue of female clergy, and how he left the Southern Baptist denomination over its ban. While I knew the issue of women in leadership was still debated, theologically progressive, moderate, and conservative Methodists alike generally affirm female clergy. It was not a prevalent issue in my circles, but that changed when I entered an undergraduate program at a school with a complementarian theological stance. After being out of school for two years while dealing with various personal trials, I was thrilled to finally pursue my

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MUTUA

”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 19

bachelor’s degree. Like any journey, there were unexpected bumps.

I began to learn more about the religious affiliation of my school, which was rooted in the Churches of Christ denomination. The Churches of Christ, Christian Churches, and Disciples of Christ denominations were birthed from an umbrella movement known as the Restoration Movement.

The Restoration Movement claims to seek a return to the order and practice of the early church as described in the Book of Acts. Neither the Churches of Christ nor the Christian Churches ordain women to be clergy or serve as elders and deacons, and they also do not allow them to serve communion.

The school held to this view. For example, there was a preaching club at the school that, sadly, excluded women from participation.

Though there were some female students who wanted to serve in ministry and opposed the school’s policy, they were not permitted to explore preaching or being a lead

pastor because of their gender. What struck me most, however, was the large number of women who believed they should not be allowed to preach!

I wasn’t surprised by male opposition to female leadership, but I knew many female students who also felt that way.

Have you ever argued that a certain people group should have equal right to do something while a member of that same group opposed you? I did.

Once, a female student was ranting about a matter and I jokingly agreed: “Preach it, sister!” Boy, did she react strongly! She reiterated multiple times that women were not supposed to preach. It saddened me that she not only took my comment so seriously and felt such a strong need to correct me, but that she clearly believed in the complementarian theology that limited her.

It weighed me down and I wondered: “Why would female students oppose me in advocating for their rights?”

I wanted women to have a voice in the church—where they were already doing the work without the recognition. The main factor for

many students was their upbringing.

They had been told that God created them to have equal worth to men but separate responsibilities, and that leadership was designated for men.

I couldn’t help but think to myself: Sounds like “separate but equal,” and look how that turned out. During my time at the school, I watched people perform all kinds of theological gymnastics to uphold this “separate but equal” ideology. A professor once claimed that God called Huldah in 2 Kings because there were no men available to lead. He attempted to explain away Huldah’s incredible contributions—all to maintain a complementarian spin on Scripture.

In my first year as a student, I attended a youth event for the United Methodist Church. I couldn’t help but notice the female clergy present, and I wondered how many of my school peers—women included—would have walked right out at the mere sight of a female pastor. No hearing the women out, no giving them a chance. Still, I took hope in the moment because, against all odds, the pastors were

They had been told that God created them to have equal worth to men but separate responsibilities, and that leadership was designated for men. I couldn’t help but think to myself: Sounds like “separate but equal,” and look how that turned out. During my time at the school, I watched people perform all kinds of theological gymnastics to uphold this “separate but equal” ideology.

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In making my position known, I hope that I helped create a safe space to talk about their doubts and freely explore this issue. And who knows? Maybe some of those female students heard from me about a different way for the very first time—about a God who equally loves and calls men and women to leadership with no regard for gender.

persevering and carrying the love of Christ forward.

All in all, I am thankful to have attended this institution despite disagreeing with its position on women clergy. I sensed uneasiness in at least some of the female students I encountered who professed to be complementarian. In making my position known, I hope that I helped create a safe space to talk about their doubts and freely explore this issue. And who knows? Maybe some of those female students heard from me about a different way for the very first time—about a God who equally loves and calls men and women to leadership with no regard for gender. The many debates with my classmates also forced me to research, contemplate, and study the issue of women’s ordination more deeply. I knew I would always need to have ready a stellar defense of my view. If nothing else, I endeavored to treat both my male and female opponents with love and respect.

I learned that we must be thoughtful and patient with others regarding issues like this. Deeply-held beliefs will not be unraveled in one conversation, but they may change through a process of thoughtful

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contemplation, prayer, and study—and sometimes through just creating space to shake hands and disagree.

This year, I attended the Annual Conference for the North Carolina United Methodist Church, where they showed a video of male clergy reading inappropriate things said to female clergy. Hearing the painful comments that women pastors received from congregants, I was convicted on this issue all over again. It reinforced the need to speak up both in spaces that recognize female clergy and those that do not—not because women cannot speak for themselves, but because no one should be silent about this.

Looking back now, I confess I did not always do my best in standing up for what I believed about women clergy during my time at a complementarian Bible school. In conversation, I would sometime refer to female pastors as “they” to avoid giving away their gender, or I would say “the pastor” when referencing a female pastor and not use “she/her.” I repent of not doing enough to support women in ministry.

It is my fervent hope that people will learn from my experiences (and my mistakes). I pray that we men will actively support our sisters in Christ who are asked to bear additional burdens due to their gender. I pray we become strong allies to our female peers who long to minister. I pray that women will explore Scripture’s richness for themselves and discover that complementarian theology is not their only option. And finally, I pray that the church will accept that women are pastors not because denominations do or do not call them pastors, but because they are prompted by the Holy Spirit.

Cody Marks is an undergraduate student completing his bachelor’s in elementary education and biblical studies and serves as a lay pastor in northeastern North Carolina. He is a volunteer with Kairos International, enjoys studying history and writing, and has been previously featured in Z Publishing’s “Emerging Poets” series.

M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 21

Modesty, a Fairytale Witch, and Growing Up Dangerous

by Chesna Hinkley

A few weeks ago, I was in Sofia, Bulgaria, for a day. I stopped for about twelve hours between night buses to see the sights, including a beautiful, vibrant mosque near the center of town. I did some online research on dress protocol beforehand: cover your skin, wear something on your head, take your shoes off. Nothing unexpected. I had a scarf and a maxi skirt in my backpack for this purpose. I was happy to be respectful, and excited for a new experience. I arrived at the mosque, circled around to the front, and...walked away. I felt nervous, suddenly, and upset.

I sat down several meters away and took a deep breath. I had personal squabbles with the dress code, yes. But the problem was the man standing at the door enforcing it. No matter how polite and respectful he was, this older man was looking at my body and making a judgment about how I could present it. I felt vulnerable, scrutinized, and reduced to nothing but an object of sexual interest. The intention of the rule, of course, didn’t matter. Nor did the friendliness and discretion of the man at the door who imposed the rules. I didn’t feel threatened when I eventually entered the mosque. But eight years after my last negative encounter

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with a dress code, the fear and shame— and the amount of courage required to ignore it—was surprising.

I was a squeaky-clean teenager—no sex, no drugs, only occasional rock n’ roll.

I was also a homeschool student with outstanding grades and near-perfect youth group attendance. Despite my “good kid” credentials, I learned that parents at my homeschool extracurricular gatherings still considered me a bad influence.

The accidental ringleader of a rather tame circle of newly conscious feminists, I ruff led many a feather railing against the dress code, among other things. For the most part, these rules were enforced—obsessively—by women. And though the written codes would sometimes pretend to be genderneutral, the rules themselves targeted girls’ clothing and girls’ bodies. I sometimes wonder if they knew that policing boys’ clothing would not change the way teenage girls felt about them. For some reason, though, this insight did not go both ways. They supposed that if girls just looked blander and wore three layers of shirts, boys would stop flirting with us.

Once, while playing the cello in a loose, inoffensive t-shirt, another player’s mother came up behind me and pulled the neckline up to my collarbone. She smiled at me and then sat down again.

Meanwhile, my sister was sent home for wearing skinny jeans, openly accused of “trying to get sexual attention.” One dress code I encountered encouraged shapeless, unisex t-shirts while forbidding stretched fabric between the breasts—try putting those two rules together without wearing a pillowcase!

Often, women would cite their own sons as the reason for policing girls’ behavior: “I have teenage boys,” they might say, “and I don’t want them exposed to lust.”

Frequently, homeschool activities were described as a “safe space” for the sons of conservative families: “They want to know they can come here and not have to see immodest girls.” I would fume in the car on the way home: why is it my fault that no one taught these boys to control their thoughts and behavior?

I know from experience that lust is a choice I can make or not make.

Pretending it is different for men not only erases women’s sexuality but it

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I know from experience that lust is a choice I can make or not make. Pretending it is different for men not only erases women’s sexuality but it also undermines the moral agency of men. also undermines the moral agency of men. There is no way to avoid seeing immodesty, particularly if your definition is skinny jeans and an exposed clavicle. Nor can anyone avoid being the subject of someone else’s lust—even if we all run around in burlap sacks. But the actual usefulness of such codes is not the point. These adults are trying to protect their sons (always sons, not daughters!) from a perceived danger.

Lust is a fairytale witch that catches helpless, unsuspecting boys, puts them in a pie, and eats them up. The person who lusts is not responsible for treating another person like an object or mentally placing himself in a sexual situation. No, he fell into a trap laid by a girl who dared to be pretty.

Imagine if we treated every sin like this: “It wasn’t his fault he stole the car. After all, it’s a car!” Girls are not inherently dangerous, pretty or not. But boys who have been taught that sexual decisions like lust are not in their own hands are

both dangerous and in danger. This narrative is false, sexist, and hazardous.

It excuses boys’ inappropriate behavior, making girls responsible for keeping boys from even thinking about sex—eventually conveying to young people that women are also responsible for men’s sexual behavior and even violence. But let’s not forget, it also takes away boys’ sexual agency, making them passive victims of women’s “charms.” It can also prompt them to feel less masculine if they don’t find sex irresistible. The whole system leaves girls at heightened risk for sexual assault and sets boys up to abdicate responsibility and feel bad about themselves if they don’t objectify women. In other words, it promotes toxic masculinity.

Now, even if lust was not a choice, I am suspicious of the idea that more revealing dress automatically makes inappropriate behavior harder to avoid.

Women have always been victims of men’s lust and sexual violence regardless of their clothing choices. Further, it is

Lust is the fairytale witch that catches helpless, unsuspecting boys, puts them in a pie, and eats them up. The person who lusts is not responsible for treating another person like an object or mentally placing himself in a sexual situation. No, he fell into a trap laid by a girl who dared to be pretty. bookstore :

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M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 23

based on an often false and always overstated assumption: that the way a woman dresses is her invitation to men to think sexual thoughts about her. Men who imagine this are, of course, more tempted to think sexual thoughts. But in fact, most women like to go about our lives in peace—dressed with some personal flair but roughly like everybody else. Full-length denim skirt, yoga pants, or bikini—attractive people are attractive. Even when women are totally covered, men entertain themselves by imagining what they might look like.

This is the ironic but age-old erotic function of veils. Sexually objectifying a person is a choice, and we all have a responsibility to resist the temptation to objectify others. When parents behave with such overprotective anxiety about what other kids look like and cast girls as “dangerous,” they communicate to their

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sons that they are powerless in the face of that choice.

The attitude toward modesty that I encountered as a teenager feeds rape culture (a social setting where sexual violence against women is normalized) in two major ways. First, boys are encouraged to think that they are powerless in the face of sexual desire and that girls are dangerous. Second, modesty culture normalizes the sexualization of girls. But it is not teenage boys who write, enforce, or capriciously add to dress codes. It is their parents.

In my senior year of high school, I tried theater. During show week, I had to bring in my own “New York City cafe” outfit for a three-minute scene. For three days, this outfit was continually rejected and reworked until my dress code-approved skinny jeans and leather jacket were

replaced by a large shirt and a long, dated skirt. By the end of this mess, I was so sensitive and vulnerable I did not even want to be looked at. Why the scrutiny?

Finally, I heard through the grapevine that someone’s dad had complained.

Looking at me on stage in skinny jeans was too much of a temptation for him. I had to make my seventeen-year-old body less attractive so a fifty-something man— with teenage daughters of his own— would not imagine me naked. That was my problem.

Are all overly-anxious parents personally sexualizing girls? No. But their efforts to control girls’ bodies indicate a preoccupation with sexual potential. A girl might be a growing adolescent, but she is expected to be warier and more mature than a boy. She is responsible for his thoughts and behavior in addition to her own, and she is forced to think

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A girl might be a growing adolescent, but she is expected to be warier and more mature than a boy. She is responsible for his thoughts and behavior in addition to her own, and she is forced to think about her developing body primarily as an object of problematic male attention. about her developing body primarily as an object of problematic male attention.

Modesty culture has serious consequences for the girls it targets. I was led to believe my body was dangerous to the men and boys around me. This idea still lingers, guilty, in the back of my mind. It is not just my body, though.

I feel responsible for men’s emotional response to me, for holding their hands through fragile “not all men” moments, and even for apologizing for my expectation of equality. I am often most comfortable as the “chill feminist,” the one antifeminist men are surprised by and willing to tolerate. I tell myself I’m being a Trojan horse, a good pastor, or a peacemaker. But often, I am just trying to fix the feelings I feel like I caused by taking up space I am entitled to.

If I had been a little more vulnerable to the message of the “dangerous body,” I might have tried to flatten my breasts, worn baggy clothes, or developed an eating disorder. As it is, my body just holds a lot of shame, confusingly mixed with a fierce, fierce love. I am loyal to my body.

Created by God, I believe it deserves my love. But it also sometimes feels like a

land mine. For many years, the voice in my head whispered: “one wrong move.”

Wear the wrong shirt and you might destroy a marriage. Make eye contact and you could cause a fight. Be too feminine, too attractive, too noticeable, and every man distracted during worship, every argument over lunch, and absolutely everything that goes wrong today will be your fault. Women do not want you talking to their husbands. Naturally, this made everything from working with male mentors to going to the doctor a complex source of embarrassment. It is also profoundly narcissistic, not to mention naïve, to make women think they are so uniquely problematic and notable.

But it is also an easy response to what evangelical modesty culture taught me.

Pretty women are homewreckers, whether they like it or not. As a result, I felt dirty, guilty, awkward, and scrutinized.

Nowadays, I try to enjoy dressing like other women. When I catch myself feeling embarrassed at the beach or reconsidering the lipstick before church, I remind myself that no one else’s husband is after me and it is okay to be attractive. I buy regular bras not designed to flatten my chest. I let my hair down and wear pretty things

Anxiously regulating what girls wear is not going to make this world better. But raising thoughtful people—males and females—will. bookstore :

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when I preach. I am working on allowing myself to be who I am, out loud, without apologizing. Maybe most difficult, I want to stop judging other women’s motives for clothing choices I would not make.

As I think about raising my own kids someday, and how I might encourage them to make tasteful, respectful clothing choices without sexually shaming them, I increasingly think this is how I will do it: stop judging. Don’t assume the worst. Don’t encourage defeatist, fatalist thinking about sex. Bolster confidence in kids’ value as whole people, people who are worthwhile whatever they wear and whomever may or may not look at them. Teach and embody strong narratives of consent. Do not pit boys and girls against each other in a battle of good and evil. Encourage respect for people less wealthy than you, like not bragging about how much your shoes cost or wearing diamonds to volunteer at a soup kitchen (more likely the real meaning of “biblical modesty”!).

Anxiously regulating what girls wear is not going to make this world better. But raising thoughtful people will. I believe God wants something better for us than fairytale witches and sexist dress codes.

Yes, we all look back and regret certain clothing choices. But we do not have to suffer sexual shame or question our worth because of them, and we do not have to take responsibility for other people’s sinful thoughts and actions. Instead, we should focus on creating a culture of safety and thoughtfulness in our churches and communities.

Chesna Hinkley is the director of Christian education at one of America’s many Westminster Presbyterian churches. She holds an MDiv from Princeton Theological Seminary and reads a lot of Karl Barth when she should be having fun. She tweets hot takes on egalitarianism and Christology and lukewarm takes on other things @ChesnaHinkley.

M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 25

Reflect With Us

by H. Edgar Hix

Education Polishes Gems Education polishes gems Even diamonds can be polished by knowledge liberally applied with loving elbow grease and patient skill. Very patient skill.

Education binds gems to precious mental metal like light to love, making the necklace around God’s neck brighter with each polished gem.

26  M U T U A L I T Y | Fall 2019

website :

cbeinternational.org

Giving Opportunities

For more than 30 years, CBE has affirmed that women are empowered by God to lead, teach, and preach. But we also know that answering God’s call to lead is not easy, so we are offering the Alvera Mickelsen Memorial Scholarship (AMMS).

To date, CBE has awarded $30,000 in scholarships to five women pursuing post-graduate degrees in ministry, including the most recent recipients for the current academic year: Janae Meyer serves as Christian education director at Eugene First Church of the Nazarene and will graduate next year with a master of divinity from Nazarene Theological Seminary. She has three young children.

Pushpa Samuel is pursuing a master of divinity at Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, CA. For the last two years, Pushpa was a principal and math teacher at a Christian school serving inner-city, low-income students.

Eliza Stiles is studying for a master of arts in systematic theology at Wheaton College Graduate School, where she is also a teaching assistant.

“Thank you! This is a huge encouragement and an answer to prayer. Alvera Mickelsen’s legacy is a reminder that women can and do lift each other up.”

— AMMS recipient

CBE would love to award three more scholarships in 2020. We have just begun fundraising and we are already 20% of the way to our $18,000 goal! Please help put more women in the pulpit by making a generous gift at cbe.today/ammsfund.

bookstore :

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M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 27

Ministry News

Fiscal Year 2019 Annual Report Our Mission CBE exists to promote biblical justice and community by educating Christians that the Bible calls women and men to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world.

President’s Message Thanks to the generosity and prayerful support of the CBE community, our impact continued to increase through the 2019 fiscal year (April 1, 2018—March 31, 2019). We expanded national, international, and online outreach; continued work on a resource to help churches combat abuse; and began a three-year project that will correct mistranslations of over 100 Bible passages that are used to subordinate women.

For the first time in many years, CBE did not reach our financial goals. Our revenue was 17% lower than last year. The deficit was covered by cutting expenses and withdrawing savings set aside over the last several years when revenue exceeded expenses.

Thank you to all who contributed to CBE’s mission with financial gifts, prayer, time, and talent!

CBE Spread the Good News •

CBE awarded two $6,000 Alvera Mickelsen Memorial Scholarships to women pursuing post-graduate degrees in ministry.

•

CBE won two Evangelical Press Association awards.

•

“Created for Partnership,” our 2018 international conference in Helsinki, inspired pastors, educators, and lay leaders to advocate more strongly for women’s leadership in Finnish churches.

• CBE spread the message at Christian events across the US: ƌƌ Ashley Easter’s Courage Conference ƌƌ SheLeads, sponsored by Missio Alliance ƌƌ Lisa Sharon Harper’s Ruby Woo Pilgrimage ƌƌ Urbana •

CBE collaborated with African ministries in Cameroon, Kenya, Uganda, and Zimbabwe to oppose patriarchy and promote the Bible’s call for women’s equality: ƌƌ Sponsored a conference in Uganda ƌƌ Established a new partnership with SheLearns, a Ugandan ministry supporting girls’ education ƌƌ Compiled nearly 1,500 survey responses that show significant improvement in understanding and commitment to women’s equality after events

28 M U T U A L I T Y | Fall 2019

website :

cbeinternational.org

CBE Engaged the Debate •

CBE received an unprecedented number of invitations to address varied audiences on the intersection of abuse, sexism, and power.

•

At the Evangelical Theological Society’s (ETS) annual meeting, attendance was at or over capacity at CBE-related ETS events: ƌƌ Evangelicals and Gender session on “Sexual Abuse, Gender, and Power: Developing a Theological Response for the Church & Academy,” where CBE’s president presented a paper ƌƌ A fellowship tea for women scholars ƌƌ Community dinner and fundraising gala

•

CBE distributed hundreds of copies of Eyes to See and Ears to Hear Women, a CBE-published book on the crisis of sexual assault and evangelicalism, at ETS and beyond.

CBE’s Online Outreach •

Traffic to CBE’s website continues to increase: ƌƌ Over 630,000 people made nearly 1.2 million visits ƌƌ Views of articles and plays of recordings were the highest ever ƌƌ Priscilla Papers articles views were 105% higher than last year ƌƌ Mutuality article views were up 66% ƌƌ

•

Arise views increased 7%

To keep up with growing demand, CBE began working on a new website, set to launch in the fall of 2019.

FY2019 Revenue $940,337

FY2019 Expenses $1,032,314

FIND THE FULL REPORT ONLINE AT CBE.TODAY/FY2019REPORT bookstore :

cbebookstore.org

M U T U A L I T Y | ”Let Them Learn: Fighting Sexism in School” 29

President’s Message

by Mimi Haddad

Humanity Flourishes When We Invest in Girls’ Education In desperate need of medical expertise, a patient was referred to a woman with extraordinary skill and training in a specialized field. Hesitantly, he made an appointment. After that first appointment, the patient admitted that despite the woman’s training and reputation, he could not overcome his view that men are more competent and objective than women. Lacking trust in women, he asked to be treated by her male colleague.

Sadly, his view is not an anomaly. Research suggests that many men are reluctant to view women as equally competent to men, despite their education.

According to Forbes, women must obtain an advanced degree to earn as much as men for the same work. While women account for fifty-six percent of all college students in the US, they are paid eighty cents to men’s dollar for performing the same job after they graduate. The pay disparities are even greater for women of color. Women in the US are not only earning higher degrees for the same pay, but they also often face doubt about their skills compared to men both in school and at work.

Educational disparities outside the West also have significant— and even life-threatening—consequences for women and girls.

Data from the United Nations demonstrates that removing educational barriers for girls and women leads to significant humanitarian gains. Raising the rate of women and girl’s education is shown to lower maternal mortality, because educated women are less likely to be in relationships with men who want more children than they do. What is more, overcoming educational barriers to girls and women also drives economic growth, according to the United Nation’s Commission on the Status of Women. For these reasons, humanitarian organizations are intentionally pursuing practical steps to keep girls and women in school. One sensible measure that has gained international traction is the free distribution of sanitary towels.

This year, Kenya’s Gender Affairs Cabinet Secretary, Margaret Kobia, led an initiative to provide one million sanitary pads to Kenyan school girls. CBE is also helping to provide sanitary towels through our partner projects in East Africa.

Women often lead endeavors to ensure that girls and women have educational opportunities equal to boys and men. Consider the first woman to head an African country, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf. After becoming president of Liberia, Sirleaf not only provided free elementary education to both boys and girls, but she also made it mandatory! She herself is a model of academic achievement, having received an advanced degree from Harvard

30 M U T U A L I T Y | Fall 2019

University. In a similar way, women-led change in the church begins with education. CBE’s founders recognized that leveling the ground for women in the church would require women earning academic degrees not only in seminary but also at the PhD level.

Almost immediately upon enrolling in seminary, I realized that as a woman in an academic community divided over women’s ordination, every academic gain made was not only a personal achievement but one that served a movement. It is with a tremendous sense of responsibility that women seminarians face their academic work. Because of this, many of us organized and worked collaboratively on projects aimed to bring awareness and change. Spending hundreds of hours each year promoting women’s equality, it was exhilarating to watch attitudes change.

It was even more gratifying when our seminary acknowledged our leadership—three of us received a president’s scholarship and one of us earned our department’s highest academic award.

Two of us found our life’s calling through these educational experiences; both of us now also teach seminary students. We have come full circle.

As seminary faculty, I now have the responsibility of supporting women students and their allies. Seminarians today are armed with many more resources and strategies than were available to me as a student. While so much has changed for the good, there remains a heavy burden in my heart for single women in seminary and especially women of color. Many of these women feel isolated as they quietly and courageously hone their gifts and callings in a world of married, white seminarians.

All women in seminary and higher education need our support.

For this reason, CBE has established the Alvera Mickelsen Memorial Scholarship (AMMS), recently awarded to three women pursuing graduate degrees in ministry. Now in its second year, the AMMS aims to place women beside men in churches and ministries, knowing that adding three or more women to all male leadership teams lowers unethical practices and improves productivity and organizational effectiveness.

God’s plan for human flourishing is that women and men work side by side in all professions. For this to become a reality, we must support women’s education globally, especially womenled initiatives to challenge gender disparities in school. From sanitary napkins to scholarships for women in ministry, we invite you to be part of this work and the blessings that follow.

Will you join us? website :

cbeinternational.org

CBE INTERNATIONAL

CBE SUBSCRIPTION / MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION

Mission Statement CBE International (CBE) exists to promote biblical justice and community by educating Christians that the Bible calls women and men to share authority equally in service and leadership in the home, church, and world.

Statement of Faith • We believe in one God, creator and sustainer of the universe, eternally existing as three persons equal in power and glory.

• We believe in the full deity and the full humanity of Jesus Christ.

• We believe that eternal salvation and restored relationships are only possible through faith in Jesus Christ who died for us, rose from the dead, and is coming again. This salvation is offered to all people.

• We believe the Holy Spirit equips us for service and sanctifies us from sin.

• We believe the Bible is the inspired word of God, is reliable, and is the final authority for faith and practice.

• We believe that women and men are equally created in God’s image and given equal authority and stewardship of God’s creation.

• We believe that men and women are equally responsible for and distorted by sin, resulting in shattered relationships with God, self, and others.

Core Values • Scripture is our authoritative guide for faith, life, and practice.

• Patriarchy (male dominance) is not a biblical ideal but a result of sin.

• Patriarchy is an abuse of power, taking from females what God has given them: their dignity, and freedom, their leadership, and often their very lives.

• While the Bible reflects patriarchal culture, the Bible does not teach patriarchy in human relationships.

• Christ’s redemptive work frees all people from patriarchy, calling women and men to share authority equally in service and leadership.

• God’s design for relationships includes faithful marriage between a man and a woman, celibate singleness and mutual submission in Christian community.

• The unrestricted use of women’s gifts is integral to the work of the Holy Spirit and essential for the advancement of the gospel in the world.

• Followers of Christ are to oppose injustice and patriarchal teachings and practices that marginalize and abuse females and males.

To learn more about CBE’s values, history, and ministry, visit cbe.today/info.

GET CONNECTED WITH CBE Connect with CBE online to learn more about us, enjoy the resources we offer, and take part in our ministry.

Visit our website, cbeinternational.org, to find thousands of free resources—articles, book reviews, and video and audio recordings.

Follow us on Twitter @CBEInt (twitter.com/cbeint).

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Recommended Resources from CBE!

Beyond the Stained Glass Ceiling Equipping & Encouraging Female Pastors Christine A. Smith The reality of a stained glass ceiling is familiar to most women called to the pastorate.

Despite being more likely to be seminary educated, female clergy constitute less than 10 percent of Protestant leading pastorates—and those who do hold such pastorates are generally paid less than their male counterparts. In light of such statistics, Pastor Chris Smith explores how to overcome the challenges in breaking through the stained glass ceiling.

Women in God’s Mission Accepting the Invitation to Serve and Lead Mary T. Lederleitner Women have advanced God’s mission throughout history and around the world. But women often face particular obstacles in ministry. What do we need to know about how women thrive?

Mission researcher Mary Lederleitner interviewed and surveyed respected women in mission leadership from across the globe to gather their insights, expertise, and best practices. Leaders and organizations will find resources here for partnering together in effective ministry and mission.

Making Room for Leadership Power, Space and Influence MaryKate Morse

Women’s Voices and the Practice of Preaching Nancy Lammers Gross

Pastor and spiritual director MaryKate Morse contends most of us are unaware of the ways we do or can use our bodies to influence others. In this book, Morse explores different types of power in the body, highlights how people gain and give leadership in group settings, helps readers identify the kind of power they as a unique individual hold, and how each type can be used for good or for harm. Througout, Christ’s use of power serves as the guide for leading in empowering ways.

Many women preachers and worship leaders have trouble speaking; they struggle to fully use their physical voices.

Grounding her work in the biblical story of Miriam, Gross begins with a discussion of how women are instrumental in the work of God. She then tells stories, including her own, of women’s experiences in losing connection to their bodies and their physical voices. Finally, Gross presents a constructive resolution with exercises for discovering and developing a full-body voice.