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The missing

minority Why Cal Poly struggles to enroll more black students Will Peischel @ CPMustangNews

The products in the Rite Aid hair care aisle were not designed for industrial engineering senior Logan Kregness. His hair is thick, curly and dense — an unmistakable contrast to the hair on the models featured on the products. They have shiny, controlled hair. Kregness pulled out his own plastic comb and held it up next to the other combs on the Rite Aid aisle. None of them, not even the one in his hand, stood a chance against his hair.

“I bought this comb here, and it’s … sufficient,” Kregness said. “It’s not metal. It gets a lot of static, and this is all we have to work with.” He gestured toward the homogenous faces on the labels. “It’s all marketed to white women. I guess it makes sense and all, but even metal picks are really cheap. They’re like a dollar anywhere else.” Not here. There literally are no metal picks. Cal Poly’s Fall 2015 Fact Book identifies 166 enrolled black students. That’s less than 1 percent of the total population.

Kregness is one of them. Cal Poly’s administrators call increasing diversity, notably among students of color, a primary goal. When they talk about the low numbers, they point to two main obstacles: The first is Proposition 209, which prohibits using race as a criteria for selecting students at California’s public colleges. The second is a lack of funding, which they note could be used for scholarships for people of color. MISSING MINORITY continued on page 2 CHRIS GATELEY | MUSTANG NE WS

MINORITIES |

Only 166 black students were enrolled in Fall 2015 compared to 240 black students in Fall 1975. Logan Kregness (above) feels the impact of this lack of diversity.

From talent show act to Green Day opener Anjana Melvin @ CPMustangNews

DINO RICCOBENE | COURTESY PHOTO RIFFS

| Dog Party sisters Gwendolyn and Lucy Giles recently opened for Green Day at the UC Theatre in Berkeley, California.

James Hayes @ jimbles_hayes

On-campus living is a requirement for freshmen this year. By 2023, living on campus might become a reality for Cal Poly sophomores as well, as required by the Cal Poly Strategic Plan. However, this mandate could come at a cost to lower- and middle-income students. According to administrators, the benefits of having students live on campus outweigh the costs and it would be doing students a disservice to not require them to live on campus. Cal Poly tuition is roughly $9,000 for California residents. On-campus dining and housing costs are roughly $12,000. The cost of eating and living on campus is roughly $3,000 more than tuition for California residents. The total cost of living on campus for California residents — found by adding tuition, dining and housing costs — is $21,000, which is more than double the cost of tuition for one year. Vice President of Student Affairs Keith Humphrey said financial aid covers these costs. LIVING EXPENSES continued on page 3

Waiting in the line of clammy-handed, trembling fifth graders next to the stage, she clutched her Mini Martin close to her chest and tried not to think about the 300 people she was about to play in front of for a talent show. Anxiously tapping her foot, she hummed the tune to “A Long Time Ago,” the

song she wrote earlier that year that she was about to perform. When it was finally her turn, she stiffly shuffled up on stage, the lights blinded her to the faces of the audience. Her fears vanished. She took a deep breath, swept her dark brown bangs away from her eyes and started playing. DOG PARTY continued on page 9

The cost of a two-year living requirement

CHRISTA LAM | MUSTANG NE WS PRICE Y

| The Cal Poly Strategic Plan may make on-campus housing mandatory for all freshmen and sophomores by 2023 which might impact lower and middle-income students.

News 1-7 | Arts 9-10 | Sports 12-13 | Opinion 14 | Classifieds 15

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MUSTANG NEWS

MISSING MINORITY continued from page 1

Reason one: No diversity However, for Kregness, the issue is even more nuanced. It has to do, for example, with a lack of barbershops; a lack of places with patrons that look like him. And yes, a lack of combs. Kregness is the events coordinator for Cal Poly’s Black Student Union, which returned to campus two years ago after a nearly decade-long hiatus. The problem is real enough that a showcase is planned in February to promote black-owned and black-marketed products. Kregness said he had a full social circle of black friends at the beginning of his freshman year to bond with over these shared experiences. Now, he’s the only one left. And it’s not just about students. According to New Times, 13 black staff members left Cal Poly in the last 20 months. That equates to about 40 percent of the black staff, New Times wrote. Among the most high-profile black staff members to leave last year was Annie Holmes, who spent three years as executive director of University Diversity & Inclusivity. She listed quality of life and challenges “impacting diversity at an institutional level” as reasons for resigning in an interview with Mustang News in December of 2015. Kari Mansager is the program manager for Cal Poly’s Office of Diversity & Inclusivity. The office’s purpose is to make recommendations to the administration for creating a more open campus. Mansager said the challenge of creating a welcoming atmosphere doesn’t just exist on campus, but in the surrounding towns where faculty live. It’s challenging to retain faculty and staff when residential areas are so Caucasian. “We do lose quite a few staff and faculty of color who come here and live here,” Mansager said. “Being on campus is one thing, but then they go out into their

SOPHIA O’KEEFE | MUSTANG NE WS MORE THAN HAIR

| For Logan Kregness (above), being black in San Luis Obispo means not being able to find hair products for his hair type, an indicator of the city’s lack of diversity.

communities and it’s even whiter. Their kids are the only students of color in their class, maybe just a few in the entire school.” In terms of retaining black students, Mansager said it’s a big cycle. Students of color tour the campus and the reflection of themselves isn’t there. “It’s this self-fulfilling prophecy,” she said, “Because we don’t have a lot of students, staff and faculty, the ones we’re trying to bring here and are qualified to get in here don’t see themselves here.” The issue becomes even more complicated when one looks back at past enrollment. Cal Poly has never had a significant black

population, but it wasn’t always so small. In Fall 1975, Cal Poly counted 13,115 enrolled students. Of those students, 240 were black. As a percentage of total enrollment, black students made up 1.8 percent. In Fall of 2015, 166 of Cal Poly’s total enrollment of 20,944 were black, or 0.8 percent. Despite a growth in enrollment by several thousand, the black student population hasn’t increased. It’s actually numerically smaller than what it was 40 years ago. Reason two: No affirmative action Jean DeCosta, the executive director of the Office of Diversity &

Inclusivity, said Proposition 209 takes a share of the blame. In November of 1996, Prop. 209 was on the ballot for California voters. It prohibited the State of California from considering race, sex or ethnicity with regards to public education, among other things. Effectively, the proposition undid affirmative action for all public education institutions in California. When it passed with 55 percent support, Cal Poly no longer had a legal means to ensure that a certain percentage of enrolled students were black. “Prop. 209 really impacted the ability to recruit individuals of color I think much more than anybody envisioned that it would,” DeCosta said. That impact is evident in student enrollment. Much of the black enrollment rate decline between the 1970s and today came after Prop. 209 went into effect. In Fall 1996, 1.8 percent of Cal Poly’s incoming students were black. In Fall 1999, 0.6 percent of incoming students were black. The law passed 20 years ago. After numerous attempts to overturn, Prop. 209 is still in place, as are its effects. In Fall 2015, 41 of Cal Poly’s 4,973 incoming students were black. Reason three: No state funding for scholarships Another obstacle, DeCosta said, is sheer dollars. In the past, the state of California paid for the majority of student tuition to public universities in the state. “In 1975, 90 percent of tuition to Cal Poly was paid by the state,” DeCosta said. “Now, it’s like 15 percent, and the students have to come up with it. Who wants to have a $100,000 loan when they leave an

undergraduate program?” With those funds on the decline, the burden of payment is left on students and their support systems. “As state dollars have dried up, the ability to cover the cost of education for people who are poor is more difficult,” DeCosta said. “Cal Poly’s an expensive campus to attend, people who come out of poor backgrounds often cannot afford Cal Poly.” DeCosta said that the universities Cal Poly competes with for students, like University of California, Berkeley and University of California, Los Angeles, are able to offset this effect with private funding that Cal Poly doesn’t have. “We were not able, as a state institution, to give scholarship monies the way UCs are able to give them. We’re not as rich,” DeCosta said. So, DeCosta asked, who could blame students who pick, say, University of California, Berkeley over Cal Poly? “We’re competing with them. They can give people so much more than we can offer, and they’re choosing to go there,” she said. “I really get that.” DeCosta said the administration is working to develop the funding pools necessary to attract students to Cal Poly and finance their tuition. She hopes to see those efforts come to fruition and recruit more students to the campus who are otherwise turned off from enrolling. But change is slow, and sometimes frustrating. Reasons to not give up As for Kregness, he’s tired of strangers touching his hair. He’s tired of being the only black student in classes and being looked at to represent the “black perspective.” He said he never asked to be made the mouthpiece for the experiences of a whole race.

“A lot of times when there’s topics directed towards black history or black culture,” Kregness said. “I get those stares back to me. I’ve had many times when professors actually ask me to speak about things — be the voice of my ethnicity. I shouldn’t have to do that. I don’t speak for everybody.” Between those experiences and San Luis Obispo’s lack of diversity, most of Kregness’ freshman year friends left Cal Poly. “A lot of people left freshman year,” he said. “A lot of people I knew left because they weren’t interested at all in San Luis Obispo.” The metrics of Cal Poly’s 2015 Interim Report reflect his observations. According to the report, six-year graduation rates for black males at Cal Poly were at 53.8 percent in 2012, down from 66.7 percent in 2011. However, the six-year graduation rate for black females was 80 percent in 2012 — approximately the same as white females. Kregness is optimistic and proud, despite what sometimes feels like an uphill battle. He and his peers work to revive parts of campus by and for black students; the Black Student Union and Society of Black Engineers and Scientists are two examples. The National Organization of Minority Architecture Students has a chapter on campus. Kregness also founded his own club called Music Production Union. He even says there are discussions of a return of black greek life to campus. “Those clubs are what made me decide to stay here,” Kregness said. Much of his college career has been about creating a culture on campus for future students that wasn’t available to him. He hopes he hasn’t martyred himself for nothing and that maybe, down the line, metal picks won’t be such a luxury in San Luis Obispo.

NEWS 3

MONDAY, JANUARY 9, 2017 LIVING EXPENSES continued from page 1

“Financial aid has to cover the full cost of attendance at the university,” Humphrey said. “Every student that does file a FAFSA, depending on what their family contribution is, the university puts together a financial aid package for them that is a combination of grants and loans that fully meets the cost of attendance.” Even though the whole financial aid package does cover the cost of attendance, most of that money could be coming from loans, depending on the student’s guardians’ incomes. According to the Pew Research Center, in 2014, middle-income families were described as making between $42,000 and $125,000 per year. A sophomore applying for FAFSA with an income in this range can get up to almost $9,000 in grants if they receive the maximum amount for each offered grant. Even with the maximum amount of aid, middle-income students still need another $12,000 to attend Cal Poly and live on campus. This difference is often made up with loans. According to the Institute for

College Access and Success, the 2014 national average of student debt is roughly $23,000. With tuition on the rise and more colleges requiring students to live on campus, the amount of debt students will graduate with will continue to increase. It costs approximately $12,000 for a double bedroom and dining plan at Cal Poly. In a nine-month academic year, this comes out to about $1,300 a month for a shared 11-foot by 13-foot room and communal dining. According to a 2014 survey from the United States Census Bureau, the average cost of a two-bedroom apartment in San Luis Obispo was $1,300 per month, which, split between two students, is $650 per month. With about $300 per month spent on food, this makes it a total of $950 per month – $350 per month cheaper than on-campus housing. In a recent survey conducted by Mustang News, several respondents said they moved off campus to save money. “Living on campus is too expensive. I think the prices increased by $100 [per month] in PCV for shared and single rooms. Off-campus, rent can be as low as $400 but also as high as $900 — similar to

on-campus,” one off-campus respondent said. Software engineering senior Jason Sawatzky said he benefited from living off-campus his sophomore year. “I enjoyed the personal independence and growth that living off campus my second year provided,” Sawatzky said. “However, the primary reason I declined staying on campus was avoiding high campus housing costs and preserving Cal Poly’s exceptional return on investment.” Despite the affordability of places off-campus, Humphrey said sometimes living in cheaper housing means living in unsafe housing. “I think there are places that we know students choose to live off campus that are more affordable; we also know that they are not safe,” Humphrey said. “We’ve seen lots of incidents over the past three or four years of students getting hurt because they were living in places that were unsafe, but they were affordable.” Humphrey also addressed student’s concerns of the social aspect of living off-campus. “What that seemed to boil down to for students was that they wanted the ability to drink underage off campus,” Humphrey said.

CHRISTA L AM | MUSTANG NE WS T WO YEARS

| Cal Poly may require students to live on-campus their freshman and sophomore year.

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MUSTANG NEWS

Freshmen reflect on their first quarter Rebecca Ezrin @ EzrinRebecca HANNA CROWLEY | MUSTANG NE WS LOOKING BACK

| After their first quarter at Cal Poly, freshmen reflect on what they’ve learned so far.

Starting college marks a huge milestone in one’s life — the transition between childhood and adulthood. During this time, young adults explore their interests, perfect their study habits, contemplate professional careers, make connections and ultimately mold themselves into who they want to be. As winter quarter begins, Cal Poly freshmen recap their first quarter at Cal Poly and think about what this transition has looked like for them thus far. One of these transitions for freshmen is living on campus. “I love living in Sierra Madre,” business administration freshman Noah Stulberg said. “It’s definitely not clean and I’ve been mostly sick since I’ve been at school. Some nights it’s really loud and I have an 8 a.m. four times a week, but I’ll give up some sleep to have fun.” While adjusting to a new living situation, many freshmen are forced to reform their study habits as well. “I actually have to study for tests and midterms, which I didn’t do

much of in high school,” Stulberg said. “I always bring papers to the Writing and Rhetoric Center now and have friends look them over. Everyone here is super focused on their studies, which is dope because if everyone else is grinding on their school work, then I’m more motivated.” But studying isn’t the only thing students have to worry about. With classes, extracurricular activities and managing a healthy lifestyle, freshmen have no choice but to plan accordingly. “Monday evening I go over everything I have to do. I’m usually pretty good at spacing things out and getting stuff done,” general engineering freshman Kyle Lark said. “It does take a conscious effort for me to know what I have to do to be successful though.” With so much to balance at once, sometimes maintaining physical health can become challenging for freshmen. “The ‘freshman 15’ is real but the whole campus being at a 45 degree slope does help,” Lark said. “I walk probably five miles a day just getting to and from class.” While some students squeeze exercise in between classes, oth-

ers make a more conscious effort to block off time in their schedules for working out. “I play water polo and do Army ROTC. It’s really just about planning ahead,” architectural engineering freshman Zoey Fox said. No matter how hectic or busy schedules get, there is a variety of ways to include a bit of exercise into everyday routines. The important part is adapting exercise to fit your needs and schedule. It would be naive to assume Cal Poly freshmen are always being productive, though. Party culture is also present. “Parties are a lot more fun now than in high school,” Stulberg said. “You can meet new people to hit up to go on a hike or get food. There’s definitely a binge drinking culture but a lot of people experience that before college.” While the experiences of this year’s freshman class are as eclectic and diverse as the class itself, their wealth of knowledge is sure to be useful for next year’s incoming freshman class. “It’s important to know what makes you happy and active and prosperous, because at the end of the day, that’s what gets you the good grades,” Fox said.

Plastic is forever. Donâ€™t let it be your legacy. Reduce. Reuse. Recycle.

Plastic is polluting our oceans and destroying ecosystems. This is not just an ocean problem. This is a people problem. For generations to come. Because plastic is forever.

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MUSTANG NEWS

More than just wintertime blues Beth Strutz @bethstrutz

It seems to be a fairly common experience: as the days get shorter and darker, some may notice their mood is a little bit down. However, sometimes these feelings can be much more than a case of the blues. Even in a relatively sunny and warm climate like San Luis Obispo, winter-onset seasonal affective disorder (SAD), can be seen in as many as 10 to 20 percent of adults, according to the Cal Poly Health Center. While SAD can also happen during the summertime, Americans most commonly experience SAD in the winter. For college students in California, when the daylight hours decrease and time spent inside studying gets longer, students can start to notice the impacts of this relatively common disorder. Common symptoms are often similar to those of major depressive disorder — what most people think of as depression — but appear primarily in the winter months. SAD during the winter time can be especially difficult, since the onset of symptoms tends to coincide with the holiday season, beginning around November. Holidays come with expectations of social interaction, as well as a general expectation of good moods and high energy. This

means that legitimate symptoms are often mistaken for “laziness” or being anti-social, which can be frustrating for both those with SAD and their family members. People suffering from SAD may experience: loss of energy or the tendency to oversleep; weight gain; feelings of sadness, hopelessness or guilt; irritability anxiety; suicidal thoughts or a loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities. As with all mental health conditions, people often have difficulty determining whether what they are experiencing is cause for concern, or if it falls within the realm of normal mood fluctuations. However, mental health professionals use a general rule of thumb when it comes to these issues: if a symptom is consistently affecting your daily activities or the choices you’re making, then you should consider speaking to a professional. Research shows that SAD tends to first appear in young adulthood, around age 20. Reports indicate that symptoms tend to reappear with each subsequent year, sometimes worsening as time goes on. Regardless of the severity, finding a method of treatment for each individual is essential to manage symptoms. Some people with milder forms of SAD notice improvement in mood stability and symptoms by

HANNA CROWLEY | MUSTANG NE WS FEELING BLUE

| Seasonal affective disorder is commonly experienced in the winter, when daylight hours decrease and more time is spent indoors.

making a point of spending more time outside, or incorporating exercise into their daily routines. Some studies show links between low levels of vitamin D and SAD. Regardless of the cause, seeking help from a trained mental health professional can be crucial to managing symptoms and

helping maintain quality of life. Professionals can help determine what combination of behavioral therapy, medication or light therapy is right for you. Light therapy is a practice unique to the treatment of SAD. It involves light-boxes, which are used each day in the season

a person experiences SAD. The light from these boxes, which mimics real sunlight, helps the body’s natural circadian rhythms to improve sleep quality and overall mood while relieving symptoms.Therapy-style lights are available online through retailers like Amazon.

If you’ve noticed any of the symptoms associated with seasonal affective disorder this winter, don’t hesitate to reach out. You can talk with your primary doctor or the Cal Poly Health Center on campus. Call 805-7561211 to make appointments with trained staff at the Health Center.

PolyTronics: How cracked screens started a business Arinee Rahman Brittany Tesmer Special to Mustang News

It was the middle of a hot summer day. Parker Smith sat inside his silver Saturn wagon on Higuera Street playing Digable Planets on his stereo with a McDonald’s tray, some tools and a shattered iPhone in his lap. That was PolyTronics then. Now, materials engineering sophomore Smith runs the iPhone repair business from his house on Santa Barbara Street. Before he got involved in PolyTronics, however, he was fixing iPhones in his residence hall. Humble beginnings “I blame it on the Legos,” Smith said when asked how he started rebuilding and repairing electronics. Smith was always intrigued by technology. In high school, he took apart computers and put them back together. When looking into colleges as a prospective student, he instantly clicked with Cal Poly and its Learn by Doing motto. Throughout his freshman year, Smith helped out friends in his residence hall with their broken iPhones — sometimes fixing them for free. His friends would buy the parts and let him experiment with their phones. Smith said it was a process of trial and error. “It doesn’t feel awesome when you’re learning on someone else’s phone; because if you mess up, it’s not just your phone,” Smith said. Kinesiology sophomore Alex Gaekwad was Smith’s roommate last year and saw Smith’s interest in iPhone repair grow. “His iPhone was broken in some capacity for pretty much all of freshman year. He broke, fixed and broke it again,” Gaekwad said. “He worked hard to learn how to replace his shattered screen. And two days after he did, it fell off his desk and broke again.” Gaekwad saw Smith’s repair skills improve over the year as he fixed phones for people in their residence hall. “By the end of the year, he had replaced his screen, touch ID, camera and speaker,” Gaekwad said. “But it taught him how to fix pretty much anything that

goes wrong with an iPhone.” As Smith honed his repair skills, he met mechanical engineering senior Ryan Lembitz, the founder of PolyTronics. The two formed a partnership and friendship that continues today. Near the end of Smith’s freshman year, Lembitz was offered an internship position with Apple until January. It was then that Lembitz passed on the business to Smith. Taking over the business After his freshman year, Smith came back from Seaside, California to San Luis Obispo for the summer. “I had $1.70 in my account and I was kind of living in my car for a bit until I moved to this place,” Smith said. “I had to kind of stick it out. I was like, ‘Hey I’m young. I don’t necessarily need all this money right now. So I might as well take a risk and put it into this business.’” After spending a summer repairing phones in his car, Smith finally moved into a house. Between the kitchen and backyard, Smith works in a small room converted from a sun porch to an office where he repairs phones. A stool, a small wooden desk and a lamp are all that occupy the space. Most nights, Smith can be found with his glasses on, delicately removing parts of an iPhone and reassembling it with new components. “I really like my workspace. It is an amazing space,” Smith said. “I built my desk myself.” With his workspace set up, Smith was ready to handle any issue that came his way. But that didn’t mean challenges never came up. “I fixed a phone for an on-call doctor, which was pretty nuts,” Smith said. Smith went to the hospital and was surprised when the doctor asked him to begin repairing his phone in the doctor’s lounge. “You’re really not supposed to be here, but you’re fixing my phone,” the doctor said. Smith had to keep the doctor’s phone on as he fixed it in case anyone called him. As luck would have it, the doctor’s phone began ringing halfway through the repair and Smith had to “throw the speaker in real quick, in pieces.” Stress was added to the situation when a small screw was

stripped and Smith had to replace it with a screw from his own phone. “It was kind of a cool, crazy experience,” Smith said. The business motto Consistently thinking of the customer is a priority for Smith and part of PolyTronics’ business model. PolyTronics chooses its suppliers through a trial and error process. The company researches the suppliers online before ordering from the suppliers. Once they have the chance to use the products, they decide which supplier to work with based on the product’s quality. PolyTronics goes through this process frequently. “We will have a supplier who is getting us good products and then all of a sudden [will] change and we have to start over again,” Smith said. PolyTronics obtains its original parts from China and its refurbished parts from a company in New Jersey. Refurbished parts are parts that have been sent back to the manufacturer and are certified as working. “Refurbishing saves on costs and gives people better quality phones,” Smith said. PolyTronics often refurbishes iPhone screens because of the nature

of the LCD. The company orders most of the screens in bulk from suppliers in China. LCD screen repairs range from $30 to $180. The cost to repair an iPhone 7 is $250. “I never try to finagle people; I am always very honest,” Smith said. Smith allows customers to see him fixing their phone during the session. As he pulls apart the phone, Smith explains how each piece of the phone operates and what needs to be repaired. “I like to bring people in and tell them, ‘this connector does this and this is what I am replacing,’” Smith said. “I do not take advantage of people’s lack of knowledge of these complicated devices.” An odd partnership Even though Apple is its largest competitor, PolyTronics has a strong relationship with the Apple store downtown and uses parts that are compatible with Apple products. “I have talked to Apple employees and we actually get recommendations from the Apple store on repairs they do not do anymore, which is really cool. We have a relatively good relationship with them,” Smith said. One customer who has seen the benefit of PolyTronics’ work is busi-

ness administration sophomore Kaile Stockham. Stockham had to repair her iPhone 6 screen. She was sending her old iPhone 6 back to Verizon for its trade-in program and was looking for cheaper repairs than what Apple offers. “I looked around at different phone repair businesses in San Luis Obispo and found PolyTronics, which offered iPhone 6 screen repairs for $90,” Stockham said. “It was the cheapest option and I was only looking to get it fixed to get my full refund back from Verizon.” Smith repaired Stockham’s phone in less than 20 minutes. When Stockham contacted on PolyTronics, she received a reply from materials engineering sophomore Claire Drewery, PolyTronics’ secretary. Drewery’s duties are answering the phone, scheduling appointments, recording the amount of repairs completed, keeping track of the finances, and taking inventory. “My salary is generally a commission, like how many appointments I can schedule. I get $5 per phone [repair],” Drewery said. On average, PolyTronics processes four iPhone repairs a day, with Friday being the busiest day. “Usually Fridays after I have

gone to class for like five hours and I get out at 6 p.m., I come back to a bunch of phones that need repairs,” Smith said. Smith sometimes stays up until midnight repairing phone. This is the life of a student entrepreneur. The future of PolyTronics When Lembitz returns from his Apple internship in January, he and Smith will begin the process of creating a brick-and-mortar shop for PolyTronics. They’ve seen student entrepreneurs build businesses throughout their college career, but then let their businesses go once they graduate. “One thing Ryan and I talked about is that we want to keep it going and take that momentum and turn it into something that’s permanent and a little more official. So it’s not just fixing phones out of my little workspace,” Smith said. In the future, Smith wants to continue repairing things and working with other electronics, not just iPhones. “I definitely want to keep building things,” Smith said. “I definitely want to keep being creative, having the freedom to do all that stuff. And I think that this business will help me do that.”

AVR AH BAUM | MUSTANG NE WS FIX IT SMITH

| Parker Smith went from fixing iPhones for free in his residence hall to owning PolyTronics, an iPhone repair business.

NEWS 7

MONDAY, JANUARY 9, 2017

Cal Poly continues to open arms to undocumented students Connor McCarthy @conr_mccarthy

Throughout the presidential election, hot topic issues such as marriage equality and women’s rights were discussed. However, none was so heatedly debated as undocumented immigrants. Cal Poly has nearly 200 undocumented students currently attending the university. However, political science and history senior Erik Garcia said this number could be higher due to students not wishing to disclose their citizenship status. “I remember when I came to campus two years ago, I literally thought I could possibly be the only undocumented student here on campus,” Garcia said. “The issue we have is there is no real list, which is for good reason so you just can’t find them.” While it makes sense that there is not a general list of all undocumented students at Cal Poly posted online, it makes it difficult for them to come together and help each other, Garcia said. “One of those problems we have is we can’t contact them,” Garcia said. “There is no information out there for us, but we want to reach out and tell them about the resources there are.” Garcia came to the U.S. when he was only one year old. He’s lived in the U.S. his entire life and said he considers himself as American as his peers. He

played sports in high school and was able to transfer into Cal Poly after completing community college. Garcia is also the president of Rising Immigrant Scholars through Education (RISE), which works as a peer support group to help allocate resources for undocumented students at Cal Poly. Garcia said he didn’t know he was undocumented until later on in life. “It wasnt until I was in middle school, or even freshman year is when I started noticing,” Garcia said. “People were starting to get their license and also when people started to apply for college. Anything that required a social security number. But I still consider myself American.” Casey McCullough works in the Undocumented Student Working Group office at Cal Poly. This office is comprised of faculty, staff and administrators who support undocumented students. It is a place for support, providing resources and networks for undocumented students. McCullough helps train faculty and staff on undocumented students. The office also works as a liaison between undocumented students and the campus community. “Throughout the training, we do have times where we ask students what do they want faculty and staff to know,” McCullough said. “We share that with those people who go through the training, so that is sort of an

aspect of being a liaison.” During his campaign, President-elect Donald Trump outlined a new immigration plan that is the polar opposite of President Barack Obama’s stance on immigration. He has threatened to cancel Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals, an executive order signed by the current president that gives undocumented immigrants the ability to receive work permits and driver’s licenses in addition to allocating some federal funding to support higher education. “Financial barriers are one of the barriers that we’ve identified as one of the most significant barriers for undocumented students,” McCullough said. “So being able to work really helps students finance their college, pay for living expenses and potentially help family members back at home.” Days after the presidential election, many cities and universities announced they would remain “sanctuaries” for undocumented persons. CSU Chancellor Timothy White issued a statement about the CSU system’s stance on undocumented students. White did not outline an overall concrete stance but instead allowed each campus to create their own policy due to the diversity of the universities. According to University Spokesman Matt Lazier, the University Police Department

RISE | COURTESY PHOTO

SAFE | The CSU will not enter into agreements with law enforcement regarding undocumented students. follows the directives that come from the chancellor’s office. Lazier simplified the CSU’s policy in an email to Mustang News. “The CSU will not enter into agreements with state or local law enforcement agencies, Homeland Security or any other federal department for the enforcement of federal immigration law; our university police departments will not honor immigration hold requests; and our university police do not contact, detain, question or arrest individuals solely on the basis of being or suspected of being a person that lacks documentation,” Lazier said. Cal Poly’s stance on their relationship between ICE is what is offered by the chancellor. Un-

like other universities, Cal Poly’s administration does not use the term “sanctuary campus.” “The definition of ‘sanctuary’ is unclear and lacks a standard definition, and could create confusion for students,” Vice President for Student Affairs Keith Humphrey said. “It is critical that Cal Poly remains and continues to enhance its efforts to be safe and welcoming for all students, including undocumented students. It’s one of the reasons we announced that the DREAM Center will open for undocumented students in Winter Quarter.” The DREAM center will be a central place for undocumented students to receive resources and support. According to Mc-

Cullough, undocumented students do not have an easy place to get help. They have to go to different offices around campus to receive different services. Humphrey emphasized the administration’s support of undocumented students at Cal Poly. “Undocumented students are Cal Poly students, just like everyone else,” Humphrey said. “They were admitted under the same standards, take the same classes and earn the same degrees. They are part of our Mustang family and should be supported the same [way] students support all other student groups.” For more information about resources and support for undocumented students, email rise.calpoly@gmail.com

He wanted to make a bigger impact and the best way to do so was to join city council. TYSON MAULHARDT

SLO native becomes SLO councilman CAITLIN CL AUSEN | COURTESY PHOTO SLOCAL

| Gomez is 37 years old, tall, artsy and wears a quality pair of eyeglasses. He’s also a third-generation San Luis Obispo resident and co-owner of The Gold Concept, a jewelry and design studio downtown.

Dani Orlandi Special to Mustang News

Honesty, preservation, engagement — these are the campaign principles that got San Luis Obispo’s youngest city council member Aaron Gomez elected. They reflect his views on housing, sustainability and political involvement — three issues that affect Cal Poly students. City council sets policies under which the city operates and is composed of five people — the mayor and four council members. Six people ran for two open spots this year. Gomez, a political newcomer, topped all competitors by raising the most campaign funding at $18,664. Tyson Maulhardt was Gomez’s campaign event coordinator and long-time friend of more than 10 years. “Aaron cares about the city. He wanted to make a bigger impact and the best way to do so was to join city council,” Maulhardt said. Gomez is 37 years-old, tall, artsy and wears a quality pair of eyeglasses. He’s also a third

generation San Luis Obispo resident. He has strong ties to the small-business community as a co-owner of The Gold Concept, a jewelry and design studio downtown. On top of this, he’s also on the Board of Downtown San Luis Obispo and five other committees, including the San Luis Obispo Chamber Sustainability and Resources and the Economic Development Committees. “How do you bring more people together? That’s what drives me,” Gomez said. “Cities are like businesses and need to be tended to.” Sustainability is key Gomez plans to focus on sustainability right away. “I got into this because it was just another avenue to have a voice,” Gomez said. “As soon as people are aware of what they’re consuming on every level, then it changes our habits and then it changes our culture and then our city; that is my hope.” Sustainability is also one of Cal Poly’s seven university learning objectives. It’s defined as “the ability of the natural and social systems

to survive and thrive together to meet current and future needs.” “How do you be very resource-conscious and inclusive of people and make it economically viable?” Gomez said. “Those principles have to work together. More people need to think about the long-term use of resources.” To that end, he wants to see a styrofoam ban, better water management and more people using bicycles. Gomez wants to help San Luis Obispo’s “housing imbalance.” The housing issue “Housing is really one of our top issues. How to create greater affordability — that’s the million dollar question right now. Everybody’s fighting for the same housing,” Gomez said. Bryce Blue is a fabricating optician at Envision Optometry. He knows firsthand the “housing imbalance” that Gomez refers to, having lived in San Luis Obispo for most of his life. In fact, Blue shares a property with a group of Cal Poly students. He’s saving for his own place, currently residing

in a studio attached to the house the students live in. Residents of San Luis Obispo are often quick to blame students for the lack of housing in the area, but this doesn’t paint the whole picture. “Sixty-five percent of our housing stock is turned into rentals. It used to be 40 percent,” Gomez said. “It’s become so expensive that investors have started buying up homes because they know they can rent them at a high cost. Students will pay because they have to live near their college. Then you have neighborhoods that traditionally had families in them.” But that misidentifies the problem. “When you look at the numbers, more students live on campus now than in the past,” Gomez said. “There’s 800 more students living off campus today than in 1977. Cuesta’s enrollment has gone up too, which impacts housing. You can’t put Cuesta kids on Cal Poly’s campus.” Students pay the high price of rent through student loans, financial aid or with their parents’

help. Many young, working professionals in the area struggle to find affordable housing in San Luis Obispo and often commute to work from other areas. “The lack of housing here doesn’t just affect students; it’s tough for locals too,” Blue said. “Most employees at our practice drive to the area from North and South county because it’s cheaper.” Gomez explains the root of the housing problem. “It’s not that students are the issue. It’s the fact that we ourselves, as a city, have not grown either,” Gomez said. “We’re trying to put more and more people into the same areas. It will help having more on-campus housing, but Cal Poly isn’t the problem. Everybody has grown and we haven’t built housing to accommodate that growth on any standpoint.” Community involvement Besides his views on sustainability and housing, Gomez also wants to see more of the community involved in local politics, especially the younger generation. “There’s people that seem to be

comfortable participating in government, and there’s people that don’t,” Gomez said. “How can we rework that and create some events to get people out? You seem to see the same 20 to 30 people when we have invites to the entire city. There’s 7,000 people give or take that are not participating.” Psychology senior Emma Tietje is the event coordinator at Novo Restaurant. She was raised in the area and voted for Aaron Gomez. “I voted for him because I agree with his policies. Aaron had a campaign event here and it was really fun. It was a different type of politics,” Tietje said. “In this town, people really do enjoy that sense of community; they want to know their politician, who represents them.” Gomez wants to do more outreach, especially through social media. Plans are in the works to meet with Cal Poly leadership and President Jeffrey Armstrong after the holidays. “I would like to see better interaction with Cal Poly and Cuesta students. I want to hear their voices,” Gomez said.

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MONDAY, JANUARY 9, 2017 DOG PARTY continued from page 1

Ten years later, graphic communications junior Gwendolyn Giles waited to open for Green Day at the UC Theatre in Berkeley, California. With bright red lipstick and dyed blonde hair, her sister at the drums and her Fender Telecaster Deluxe in hand, she was ready to play another original song, “G Diddly,” in front of 1,200 fans. Gwendolyn and her sister

Lucy Giles make up Dog Party, a band they started together when Gwendolyn was 11 years old and Lucy was nine years old . “Because we’d started at such a young age, [we were] being categorized as a kid band and an all-girl band,” Gwendolyn said. “Just having those labels is irritating when we get treated differently because we’re females in the music industry or we’re younger.” Most of their songs are based on life experiences. One of their most popular songs, “Lost

Control,” was written while they were on the road in Italy and missing their pug. As they got older, their songs started to hold more meaning. “Till You’re Mine,” from their latest album released in August is about Lucy’s new relationship. “Round and Round,” written when Gwendolyn left for college, is about living alone for the first time and missing home. “As much as we want our future to be positive, we’re probably going to experience loss in our lives and songs will come out of that,

too,” Gwendolyn said. Now that they’re older, they’ve lost the “kid vibe,” but still find it difficult to gain respect as women. Despite having toured the U.S. and Europe, they weren’t taken seriously until after touring with Green Day. “The further we go and the more success we’re having, I feel like people are snapping out of those first assumptions,” Gwendolyn said. “[Having toured with Green Day] helps us prove to people that we are passionate about what we’re doing, but it also

seems like we shouldn’t have to prove to them that we’re qualified to play these shows.” Though Dog Party is still occasionally dismissed as inexperienced girls who just mess around, Gwendolyn acknowledged that she wouldn’t have come this far without the relationships she formed in the past nine years and describes life on the road touring as a phenomenal experience. Getting mentioned in a magazine or hearing one of their songs on the radio is always sat-

isfying, but the most rewarding moment of her career was when everything came together that day in Berkeley. With friends and family in the audience, her sister at the drums and a band that she’d looked up to since childhood waiting to go on after her, her younger self couldn’t have imagined a moment like this. She could see the audience now, but she wasn’t nervous. Dog Party was still just a band she and her sister started as children. They were still in it for their love of music.

GWENDOLYN GILES | MUSTANG NE WS

EVOLUTION | Lucy and Gwendolyn Giles started their band when they were kids and have evolved since then, refining their style and sound. They recently toured with Green Day at UC Theatre in Berkeley.

GWENDOLYN GILES | COURTESY PHOTO

DINO RICCOBENE | COURTESY PHOTO

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GWENDOLYN GILES | MUSTANG NE WS

EVOLUTION | Lucy and Gwendolyn Giles started their band when they were kids and have evolved since then, refining their style and sound. They recently toured with Green Day at UC Theatre in Berkeley.

GWENDOLYN GILES | COURTESY PHOTO

DINO RICCOBENE | COURTESY PHOTO

ARTS 10

MUSTANG NEWS

How to stick to New Year’s resolutions

Hannah Benson @CPMustangNews

The new year rolls around and you find yourself preparing oatmeal for breakfast, a big leafy salad for lunch, almonds for a snack and chicken for dinner. You swear you’ll start eating healthily as part of your New Year’s resolution. A few weeks pass. It’s suddenly the end of winter quarter and you find yourself routinely skipping breakfast, then indulging in a burger, fries and a soda to compensate for the painful hunger at lunchtime. Couple that with a

large pizza for dinner and a pint of ice cream in front of the TV and you’ve completely broken your New Year’s resolution. It’s an all-too-familiar situation. How do you break this seemingly inevitable cycle? The best way to make changes and stick to them is through accountability, visualization, organization and realistic expectations. Many students start off on the right track, but their willpower starts to dwindle as the year progresses because their resolutions lack these attributes. If Cal Poly teaches its students

If you put time in to fulfill your goal, you will achieve success.

anything, i t ’s t h e “ To have power of a something ADRIAN VERA RAYA group project. that holds me accountable like A res olut ion, just like any other an app or a journal, or challenge, should not be faced find[ing] someone else with the alone. English senior Valentina same resolution.” Sainato came to this realization A roommate could become a after she had trouble carrying workout buddy if the resolution out her previous resolution of is one of the most common ones cutting down on spending. In reported — to be more healthy. hindsight, she has pinpointed However, before anyone hits the how she and others can be more weight room, the wording of this successful come 2017. resolution needs to be modified. “It’s important to have a third It is too difficult to commit to party involved,” Sainato said. such a general resolution. One

HANNA CROWLEY | MUSTANG NE WS

must hone in on specific goals to achieve results, such as “eat smaller portions,” or “involve more cardio in my week.” Business administration freshman Adrian Vera Raya saw the positive results of such changes in his workout-related resolutions from years past. “Just having workout clothes out in my dorm so I can see them as an everyday reminder and as an inspiration to go to the gym [was helpful],” Vera Raya said. Visualizing goals is also key to effectively carrying out a resolu-

tion in the realm of healthy living. It helps one clearly see his or her goals as well as serve as a helpful reminder. Visualization and organization go hand-in-hand. “If I want to see improvement in my grades, I set aside time on my calendar to study,” Vera Raya said. “If you put time in to fulfill your goal, you will achieve success.” Following these words of advice will ensure a 2017 to be proud of, in which your resolution will be just as strong in December as it was on New Year’s Day.

Four years in the life of a music major Katie Stark Special to Mustang News

Passion, intensity, discipline and follow-through — these are the four most important characteristics for a music major at Cal Poly, according to music department chair W. Terrence Spiller. From long days on campus to yearly performances in front of a panel of judges to dreams of making it big — this is the life of a Cal Poly music student. Music senior Kelly O’Shea has a concentration in vocals. She typically spends 12 hours on campus every day, with back-toback classes and rehearsals. After graduation, she plans to get her masters degree in opera at a major music consortium. Ultimately, O’Shea aims to be an opera singer and perform in the New York Metropolitan Opera House to large crowds every night. “People say, ‘Oh you’re a music major. How fun!’ Yeah it’s fun, but people are shocked by the amount of work I do,” O’Shea said. All music majors are required to take a midpoint test at the end of their sophomore year, which tests them on everything they have learned so far. If they don’t pass, they have one year to make it up. If they fail, which rarely happens, the department helps them change majors. “It seems a little harsh but after three years if someone can’t pass that real basic level, there is a real question if they would be able to graduate,” Spiller said. Students are also required to perform in front of a small panel of faculty judges where they are critiqued. “At the end of every year, we go through a process called ‘juries’ where we prepare three to five pieces on our instrument that, if we play them correctly, indicate that we are ready to go on to the next level of private instruction,”

music senior Brandon Webb said. Students have to pass two juries to graduate, but for those who want to continue in the music industry, it is highly recommended they pass all four. Music students must also participate in at least one ensemble each quarter such as choir, orchestra or jazz band. Any student from any major can be in an ensemble, but they are required for music students. “I’m in two ensembles, but I don’t have to be. One time I was in three. You have to be in at least one a quarter, but we usually end up doing more,” O’Shea said. On top of these requirements, students must also take two full years of piano classes and attend six concerts per quarter to graduate. Those who want to further their education also take extra master classes and private lessons to perfect their skills. “There is a lot of time and effort,” O’Shea said. “Performing arts is pretty cut-throat, so trying to be a vocalist or trying to be a violinist — it’s like trying to be the next Michael Phelps. It takes constant effort.” Competition is a large part of being a music major. “To be honest, it’s a really competitive environment. We’re all friends, but subconsciously we are out to get each other because we want to come out ahead,” Webb said. “It comes up and we all know it’s happening, but we don’t hate each other for it. It is just the nature of our major.” So, why choose Cal Poly as a music major? This is not a program for singer-songwriters. These students are being classically trained. At Cal Poly, music students graduate with a bachelor of arts, not a bachelor of music like at other schools. This means there is more of an academic component to their time here. They

take classes such as music theory, musicianship and music history along with their performance-based classes. “We’re a distinctive program. If a student comes here, you will get an excellent academic preparation and basically you can pursue anything you want. It is a very flexible program,” Spiller said. With only roughly 60 students, Spiller describes Cal Poly’s small program as familial. Professors know every student in the major and vice versa. “If I look at my piano students, I’ll see them for a half [an hour] or lesson or more every week for at least four years,” Spiller said. “You get to know them, you get to know families; it is a very familial atmosphere, which makes it a little easier to push the kids as hard as we do.”

MADDIE REID | COURTESY PHOTO FACING THE JURY

| Each year, students must prepare three to five pieces on their instrument of choice.

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MUSTANG NEWS

Kyle Toth: From army to Cal Poly Ayrton Ostly @ AyrtonOstly

He pauses. For an instant, senior guard Kyle Toth’s friendly smile vanishes when talking about last year’s redshirt season. But it isn’t about where Toth is now; it’s about how he got there. It’s a Monday morning. The men’s basketball team, fresh off a pair of wins, has the day off while head coach Joe Callero is away on a recruiting trip. Toth sits in the sports media office wearing a maroon sweater over a jersey, sweatpants and some lightly-worn sneakers. He’s at ease despite the steady din outside the office as the softball and baseball teams take their player pictures. Standing just over six feet and a lean 175 pounds, he fits comfortably in the chair and slowly swivels while maintaining a smile. He’s open to a break in his routine. Despite his unassuming appearance, Toth has had one of the best years of his sharpshooting college career this season. Through the Mustangs’ first 10 games, he averaged 11.6 points per game, 2.4 rebounds and shot a remarkable 54.5 percent from three-point range. He is an integral cog in the scheme for the Mustangs this season, as injuries forced them into a four-out system offensively. But it wasn’t guaranteed that he’d be playing this season. High school: Where it all started Toth’s basketball life is relatively prototypical for a college athlete. He played organized basketball for years while growing up in Sunnyvale, California, the heart of Silicon Valley. Playing high school basketball for the Archbishop Mitty Monarchs gave him an experience most high school athletes don’t enjoy: sharing the court with an NBA talent. Aaron Gordon, the fourth overall pick in the 2014 NBA Draft and a starting forward for the Orlando Magic, was named California’s Mr. Basketball in 2012 and 2013 as the Monarchs won Division II

state championships in 2011 and 2012. Toth was a starting guard and captain on Archbishop Mitty’s title-winning team in the 2011 season. “It was fun, really. Looking back on it I didn’t think he [Gordon] would be this successful,” Toth said. “It was a good experience, walking into the gym and knowing you’re going to win. I don’t think I’ll walk into a gym that confident again.” Life in the armed forces After winning the school’s first state title in basketball, Toth graduated with a secured legacy and no fear of the big stage. From there, it was on to the armed forces. “[My] dad served in the army for four years and got his college paid for,” he said. “I thought I’d go in with that same mindset.” Toth laughs lightly about heading to West Point straight out of high school. It’s an uncommon choice for high school athletes, especially those on title-winning teams. Nonetheless, as he has in every stop during his college career, Toth produced for his team. His first season at the U.S. Military Academy Prep School saw him average 13.9 points per game before transitioning to the army team the following season. There, again, his team was successful. Winning Patriot League All-Rookie Team honors after leading the team to its first winning season in almost 30 years, Toth averaged 8.2 points per game and shot 37.5 percent from deep. But the army wasn’t the place for him. “It was shellshock. My first 10 minutes there, I knew I’d be gone eventually,” he said. “I knew this was not what I wanted to do as a career.” Going back home Toth finished his time in the army and transferred home, enrolling in Foothill College just 15 minutes away from where he lived. TOTH continued on page 13

GRAPHIC BY AYRTON OSTLY | MUSTANG NE WS REDSHIRT

| Toth redshirted the 2015-16 season to take time to cope with his mother’s death. Now he’s back and hitting the court harder than ever.

MONDAY, JANUARY 9, 2017 TOTH continued from page 12

Considered one of the best community colleges in the state, it provided the perfect setting for Toth to be close to home and still play basketball. “It was good to get the opportunity to live back home and getting out of a military lifestyle,” he said. “Getting acquainted with being a civilian again, that was interesting. Not having somewhere to be 24/7, I really enjoyed that as well as being home with my family.” As a Foothill Owl, he continued his sharpshooting ways, averaging 15 points per game, shooting 41 percent from threepoint range and leading the team by making 88 percent of his free throws. Just like his time in the army, the accolades continued; he received First Team All-Coast North honors. His efforts at Foothill caught the attention of Callero, who extended an offer to him. How he got to Cal Poly and where he’s headed The first year at Cal Poly was a down year for Toth. He started in four games and played in another seven and shot 41.7 percent from the three-point line. It wasn’t apparent on the court, but his mind was somewhere else for much of that year. And that’s where we come to the pause. “My mom had passed when I first got down here,” he said. “That’s why I academically struggled and on the court, too.” Just as quickly as the smile vanished, it returned again. With family being such an integral part of his life, Toth suddenly had everything put into a different perspective. He joined the army to get his college tuition paid for, then moved back home to spend time with family again while deciding on a new path before moving to San Luis Obispo to go to Cal Poly. Everything changed with the death of his mother. He’d lived

the better part of the past decade playing basketball at the highest level and focusing on the next challenges inside the classroom. Click on Toth’s profile on the Cal Poly Athletics page and you’ll see an unusual designation for class: RSr, or Redshirt Senior. Redshirting means an athlete doesn’t play in any games for one year, and the player keeps this redshirt designation for the season directly after that year. It’s rare to see a redshirt senior designation as most athletes redshirt early in their careers to adjust to the college game. However, after the 2014-15 season — his first season as a Mustang — Toth needed time to recalibrate in the wake of his mother’s passing. “It was a hiatus for me,” he said. “Spring break of 2015, I went to the Philippines and visited where she grew up and was really moved by that. I wasn’t ready to dive back in to the student-athlete life. Two days later, I decided to give up on basketball and figure out where I was at with everything.” This time was odd at first. Namely, it was the first time in over a decade that Toth’s life didn’t include basketball. “During that year, it was really rough. First year away from organized sports,” he said. “But looking back on it, it was crucial for me.” Criticisms of college athletes can include their insatiable need to focus on sports. NFL cornerback Richard Sherman famously said that “[college athletes] are not on scholarship for school.” This year off made Toth an anomaly of sorts: focused and passionate about the sport he plays, yes, but not to the point that everything else in his life was pushed aside. Still, the void left in his life turned out to be too much. There was still a drive to play competitive basketball, but with that came the understanding that it wasn’t the end-all, be-all of his life. Unsurprisingly, Callero was

hesitant at first to welcome him back. “When I called him, he was a little sketched out at first,” Toth said. “He wasn’t sure if I wanted to come in and might quit again. But he was very accepting of it the more we talked.” Initially, it was strange getting back into the routine of playing basketball with a different group of guys. Only senior guard Ridge Shipley and senior forward Zach Gordon remained from Toth’s last season with the team. It wasn’t simple to get back to being part of the group, but it wasn’t too hard for a man who has played for four different teams in his previous four playing seasons. Toth and Shipley often start the game to provide experience and outside shooting and to set the tone for the Mustangs. Without arguably their most athletic player, junior forward Josh Martin, the players had to adjust their playing styles, facilitated by the pair of veterans. With Shipley running the point and Toth slashing through the defense searching for open looks, the duo make an efficient combination. Admittedly, there isn’t much left for Toth to complete in his basketball career. He’s won a state title in high school with NBA talent, led multiple teams to winning seasons and has been given conference awards. Beyond this season, his future’s unclear. “Not too anxious to dive into the work world,” Toth said with a laugh. “Not quite sure, just trying to take it easy. Right now, just get through school and get that four-year degree I’ve taken six years to get.” The laughter, for the first time in the conversation, drowns out the constant, echoing commotion outside. But it’s not about where he is now. It’s about how he got here and how that journey includes lessons for his future.

OPINION 14

MUSTANG NEWS

The Weekly Bull: OPINION

New year, same ish

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GETTIN’ BUBBLY | New Years resolutions last as long as a champagne bottle at a party. Don’t waste time making a promise you’ll break. Drink some bubbly and get home safe. Neil Sandhu @ CPMustangnews

Neil Sandhu is a biomedical engineering senior and an editor for Mustang News. The Weekly Bull is a purely satirical column and any references to actual people or organizations are coincidental. The satire expressed within this column does not necessarily reflect the views or opinions of Mustang News or the Mustang News editorial board. “Ten!” Oh lord , how is this happening already? “Nine!” Thank god that girl is wearing glasses that say “2017,” I almost forgot what year it’s about to be. “Eight!” I bet the Uber surge charge is going to look like a phone number at 12:03 a.m. “Seven!” Oh yes, nice pairing of a suit with a “Make America Great Again” hat. That’s a killer with the ladies. “Six!” Oh look, my ex is coming over to say “hi”, this is an odd time to...

“Five!” OH SH*T, NOT TODAY SATAN, NOT LIKE THIS! “Four!” Spraying champagne in her face was a solid diversion, good job thinking on your feet, stud. “Three!” Don’t make eye contact with anyone again. It’s too dangerous. “Two!” I’m standing in a house party in my hometown, drinking cheap champagne and Taaka. “One!” New year, same me. New Year’s sucks; lets just get that out of the way. Now, I’m not talking about the friends-from-highschool, too-cold-for-that-dress, wearing-a-tiara-for-no-reason night that seems to bring out the worst in everyone. Let me be clear, that part of New Year’s is amazing. Nothing brings me greater joy than getting sh*tty with the people from my high school AP Psychology class. In fact, I love it so much that every time a 19-year-old with a $6 bottle of champagne turns a stranger’s kitchen into the Cubs’

locker room after the World Series, I will personally donate $1 to the Bros Without Hoes charity (no, that’s not a real, registered 501(c)(3) non-profit, you unphilanthropic swine). I even love how everyone dresses up for what we all know will be a very unclassy night. I understand, though. I don’t put on a tie because the venue I plan on attending has a dress code. No, the only reason to wear a tie on New Year’s Eve is to give yourself a visual barometer of how drunk you are. If the tie is around your neck, you’re probably chill; go get another drink. If the tie is around your head, you just MacGyvered the classiest way to keep sweat off your forehead; reward yourself with another drink. If the tie is in the hand of the guy whose girlfriend you just tried to get a New Year’s kiss from at 9:48 p.m. and he’s now playing tetherball with your already soft skull, you should probably cool it with the whiskey sours for now. My real beef with New Year’s is the resolution aspect. Yes, this article is going be so cliché as to criticize New Year’s resolutions, because in order to kill the cliché, you have to first be the cliché.

New Year’s resolutions are just about procrastinating being a better person. What you’re really saying is, “I first need the Earth to be in the exact arbitrary place relative to the sun that Julius Caesar defined as Jan. 1, then I can start spending more time with my family.”

For the first week of the year, people with New Year’s resolutions are just as bad as vegans. Try it; try blaming your lack of initiative on the fact that the Earth hasn’t fully moved its 5.971*10^24 kg mass the 94,000,000 km needed for it to be 2017 yet. This is how stupid you sound to the rest of us. (Numbers above are cited from Wikipedia because Wikipedia is a real source, f*ck you.) For the first week of the year, people with New Year’s resolutions are just as bad as vegans. You can’t

have a conversation with them without them bringing up their irrelevant, self-perceived superiority. Oh really Karen, you’ve taken up yoga? I asked you where the printer paper was; how the h*ll did you take that as an invitation to start talking about your “center?” The nice thing about New Year’s resolutioners is they shut up about it after a week. Vegans unfortunately don’t. Why waste two to four percent of the year? We all know how 2017 is going to end anyway. Same countdown, same booze, same you. So this year, at 12:01 a.m., forget the resolution and use all your remaining brain power to make sure you get home safe. That’s all that really matters. So, if you feel like every year has a new energy and you feel like this year is really about, like, the year of just realizing stuff and everyone around you is just realizing things, then that’s great for you, Kylie Jenner. But remember, you don’t need to change. The people in your life already put up with your sh*ttiness, don’t make them put up with two weeks of “resolutions” on top of your other flaws.

COPY EDITORS Quinn Fish, Bryce Aston, Andi DiMatteo DESIGNERS Kylie Everitt, Aaron Matsuda, Tanner Layton OPINION COLUMNISTS Elias Atienza, Brendan Abrams, Brandon Bartlett PHOTOGRAPHERS Matthew Lalanne, Sophia O’Keefe, Hanna Crowley, Samantha Mulhern, Andrew Epperson, Christa Lam, Kara Douds, Iliana Arroyos ILLUSTRATOR Roston Johnson ADVERTISING MANAGERS Maddie Spivek, Kristen Corey ART DIRECTOR Erica Patstone PRODUCTION MANAGER Ellen Fabini MARKETING MANAGER Ross Pfeifer ADVERTISING CONSULTANTS Clara Howley, Levi Adissi, Trevor Murchison, Carryn Powers ADVERTISING DESIGNERS Jacqui Luis, Habib Placencia, Kelly Chiu DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Dylan Ring FACULTY ADVISOR Pat Howe GENERAL MANAGER Paul Bittick

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