A MESSAGE FROM THE EDITOR-IN-CHIEF To Our Readers,
OUR STAFF EDITOR‑IN-CHIEF
Bacon & Ags
EDITOR SUPREME
Corpus Escort
FINANCE EDITOR
Good Bullogna
INTERNAL EDITOR
Thank you for picking up a copy of The Mugdown’s Fall 2017 print publication! Whether you are a jaded member of the Class of 2018 and a long-time fan, or a wide-eyed freshman who picked this up amid the crowd in the Heldenfels lobby, we are honored that you decided to give this a read. This is the third semester we have published a newspaper, and the third time’s the charm, as they say, so maybe this will be the year we win the Pulitzer Prize. Chances are, neither you nor I want to be where we are right this moment, considering it is the first week of classes. Allow our satire to pull you away from the dregs of post-Gig ‘Em Week post-Howdy Week life and into a world of bitter social awareness softened with a small dose of humor. At least now you’ll have something to do in those first 15 minutes of class where the professor goes over the syllabus before starting Chapter 1.
NEWSPAPER CHAIR
Over the summer, the anonymous staff members of The Mugdown—who everybody loves to hate—have been hard at work preparing for the coming year. We have a lot of exciting projects coming up, so get excited to see The Mugdown in new and different ways! With that being said, some of these projects are going to require a little extra assistance, so, if you are interested in helping us achieve our dreams, keep your eyes peeled for more information on that in the coming weeks. Feeling an especially strong call to join our secret society? Be on the lookout for Mugdown writer applications, which will also come out… eventually. Underclassmen and those with photo or video editing skills are especially encouraged to apply! Finally, I highly recommend anyone thinking about applying as a writer to consider sending in a fan-written article. If you’ve got moxie, we might just publish it on our site!
FEED OUR EGOS
On behalf of The Mugdown, thank you for supporting us (almost) every step of the way. We would not exist today if not for your continued readership. I hope that you enjoy reading this newspaper as much as we did creating it!
InterYellar
EXTERNAL EDITOR North by Northgate
CONTENT EDITOR
Netflix and Drill
SECRETARIAL EDITOR
Lil’ Event
Mission Trippin’
Yours in Satire,
Like us on Facebook! www.facebook.com/mugdown Follow us on Twitter! www.twitter.com/Mugdown
BACON & AGS 2017-2018 Editor-in-Chief | The Mugdown
We’re new to Instagram! Follow us! www.instagram.com/themugdown
THANK YOU to our fantastic advisor, without whom we would be up to our knees in legal papers.
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Disclaimer: The Mugdown is a web-based satirical news publication. Any and all content associated should be assumed to be mostly or entirely fictionalized. With the exception of public figures and entities, any names found within are made up and unassociated with any individuals whose names may bear a resemblance to any names used. Additionally, any quotations and events described should be viewed strictly as parody unless explicitly stated otherwise. The Mugdown is a work of humor and not a serious news source.
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letters to the editor Print n do this? e v e s y u g ou s “Why do y dium. No one read e o The m t’s 2017, s I is a dying ! e r o m rn y rs an the mode o t in newspape t e g o needs t Allow Mugdown publishing online. art try era and st ttle indus li a n o in ou of it? me to let y media. Ever heard nd cial t people a secret: so e e m o t y are, t wa t here you e y It’s a grea d n A . How r brand r. Really? build you e p a p n o . te rds.. eater was r g ly with… wo n o e hen you? Th cation is w li dumb are b u p r u o of the han y rd-copies of paper t a h t u o s n’t s s pa f class. Do o y professor a d t s r t until n the fi ore conten syllabus o m g in k a er m able in even both ke it read a m o t y a w you find a .” the dark tic and Eclec —Electric
“Hi mom, it’s me, Benji. I couldn ’t really figure out how to get the Commo ns mail thing to work at first, but I think I got it. I hope this letter reaches home okay. Anyway, my first semester has gon e pretty well. I made some friends over the last week; we have just been hanging out and playing video games in the dor ms at night. There has definitely bee n no drinking or anything, considering I’m a freshman and all, so don’t worry about that. Classes start soon, so I’m hop ing that goes okay. After taking AP Chem istry my senior year, I at least feel prepared for my double major in aerospace engine ering and biology. I didn’t have to study in high school, so I’m confident that I’m smart enough to get by without an issue. Say hi to the dogs for me; I miss them so much. I have to go now, since it’s almost time for one of my scheduled daily study bre aks. Love you!” “There —Benjamin w debate ere a lot of c s over t centered ar ontroversie he sum s and ound Texas mer th mad. I A at mad &M ’m sur e e I’m ta lking a everyone re me pretty bo ca that ev eryon ut. It seeme lls what e opinio d to m was dy n e i to say heard, even ng to have t .W h i were s ell, I did n f they had n eir ot like othing aying at w are wr ong. I all. I believ hat others , e too, h it’s no that th av tt e opinio he same as e an opinion y some ns. I r , but ot ea that h appen lly hated th her people’ s ed and at said a bout i all tha one thing t t was b . Who those ’s w ei people that w ith me? I t ng thing hin sh er since c ould just ke e saying tha k ep t le to say arly they ha their mou one t and w h d shut, nothi er attent ion. T e just speak ng valuable ha in entitle d to it t’s just my o g for the .” pinion and I’ m —Majo r Unde cided
Dear .. . n w o Mugd
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August 2017
The Mugdown 3
SOPHOMORE LEARNING VECTORS FOR
THE EIGHTH TIME
By GingerbRedAss
Yesterday, students in the MSC flag room witnessed Texas A&M student Jonathan Michaels bemoaning the fact that he would have to learn about vectors yet again. Michaels, a sophomore mechanical engineering major, went on to list every course that began the semester with a week of instruction on vectors. “I just know that we’re going to go over vectors again in MEEN 225 and MATH 251,” said Michaels, “but c’mon, we’ve done this like a million times. A baby could solve these vector problems. Like we get it, there’s a direction and a magnitude, whoop-de-doo.” Other engineers sitting with Michaels nodded in zealous agreement as he continued his monologue: “I mean, we never even use vectors. Why do we have to do this? Vectors don’t come up for the rest of the semester.”
HEY YOU! YES, YOU. WHY WOULD YOU THINK I DIDN’T MEAN YOU? WHAT IF I TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD DOUBLE YOUR MONEY IN SIX MONTHS? INTRIGUED? YOU SHOULD BE.
SPONSOR US AND PEOPLE WILL FLOCK TO YOUR COMPANY!
“This kid is in for a rude awakening,” Mitchell Alterbrook said in passing, with a dark chuckle. When asked for clarification, the 5th year civil engineering student added, “Math 251 is almost entirely based on vectors; in fact, most of his classes from here on out are going to be vector-heavy. This is only the beginning.” “Why can’t we have a free syllabus week? It would be so nice to just relax,” said Michaels, drawing rapturous applause from his robotic engineering cronies. None of them wanted to point out that mere moments earlier Michaels had been complaining about how easy vectors were and stated how “[learning about vectors] was beneath an engineer like myself.” Despite professing an aptitude in vectors, at time of publication, Michaels was unable to explain the difference between a dot product or a cross product, saying, “Uh… It has something to do with how one’s product is a scalar and one’s still a vector, but I’m not 100% sure.”
WE PROMISE. (My editor says not to promise anything, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him)
VISIT
MUGDOWN.COM/SPONSOR FOR MORE INFORMATION
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GingerbRedAss He definitely has more tattoos than you, but they are all inside jokes with his organizations and you will never see them unless he shows you. He wears his gameday overalls every day of the week, and only owns cowboy boots of varying levels of formality. He WILL scream his wildcat in your face, and he will not be sorry— just ask our last intern (we are actually really worried about him, if you find the poor guy please let us know).
STUDENT ENTREPRENEURS
GET CREATIVE By Koldus & Cream
Between class, studying, and extracurricular involvement, the majority of students at A&M don’t have the stamina to take on anything else. However, there are the bold few that try their hand at starting an entrepreneurial venture. We decided to delve into the entrepreneurial community at Texas A&M in order to showcase the imaginative spirit of these students. Gustavo Patton, a junior marketing major, shared the humble beginnings of his photography business. “My parents gave me a dope Nikon for Christmas this year, and I figured I might as well make some money,” said Patton. “All I did was adjust the aperture and throw some nice edits on my Instagram pics and the business came flooding in.” Patton is also contemplating adding his own all-natural candle line to accentuate his business. “Photography is my true passion,” said Bessie Francis, a sophomore communications major. “It all started when I was editing some old pictures in the MSC, and I heard some people whispering about how hip I was. That really sparked my heart to start my own photography business.” Francis’ goal is to be a full-time wedding photographer and is getting most of her practice by taking pictures of her roommates in the most photogenic areas of the Historic District. Merrill Pinkerton, a junior allied health major, is The Mugdown’s last featured entrepreneur. “My photos are a pure expression of my life as reflected on social media,” said Pinkerton. “I think my well-documented trips to every National Park in California and my 4000 Instagram followers are a true testament to my vision and skill.” Pinkerton’s hand lettering skills are also featured on all major social media platforms and can be purchased along with her photos. The enterprises of these pioneers give a small glimpse into the wide range of talent put on display by student-run businesses.
Koldus & Cream A College Station native, K&C has wanted to join The Mugdown since middle school. She somehow discovered where our meetings were and began priming us with anonymously-provided pints of Blue Bell, eventually sending in her application spritzed with the scent of Rocky Road. We couldn’t resist.
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August 2017
The Mugdown 5
CONFUSED PROFESSORS ACCIDENTALLY LECTURE
DURING SYLLABUS WEEK
By Squatbucks
The first week of fall classes is a week full of additional traffic, confused freshmen, and syllabi. Students stroll into class sporting new maroon t-shirts, planning to GroupMe chat through the “class expectation” discussion and get dismissed 25 minutes early. What they don’t foresee is the possibility of a real lecture, or worse: a homework assignment. Unfortunately, there are some confused professors who mistake syllabus week as a regular lecture week, and a select few unlucky students must endure the harsh reality of their class beginning a week earlier than they expected. “I was absolutely shocked,” said Edgar Lotts, a sophomore ocean engineering student. “Dr. Vostalkis dropped this bomb on us with no warning. We expected another day of syllabus explanation, but she turned on a PowerPoint instead and began talking about actual educational concepts. I hadn’t even brought a notebook with me.” Political science senior Amelia Riesling also expressed concern about the suddenness of the summer-to-school transition. “My parents didn’t pay $27,272 for me to spend syllabus week receiving an education. That takes away from what it’s all really about. I mean, a homework assignment on the first Friday? Professors can’t expect seniors to adapt that quickly. We’ve only been here for 4 years,” said Riesling. Lotts was especially taken aback due to his major: “Starting class during syllabus week could make sense for a Liberal Arts student, but STEM students have it hard. We truly need the extra week to really understand the syllabus for each class.” The confused professors denied an interview request with The Mugdown, but they are not expected to change their policies in the foreseeable future.
Squatbucks
Squatbucks is a Dirty, Filthy, Pledge and the Dirty, Filthy Pledges haven’t earned the privilege of having their life story told yet. Check out our website, www.mugdown.com/about, later this semester for more info.
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FIVE BENEFITS OF THE NEW ON-CAMPUS HOTEL By Mission Trippin’ New construction is well underway on the Texas A&M campus, just steps away from Kyle Field. After long hours of debating what should be put in the heart of campus, the Board of Regents and Chancellor John Sharp agreed that a new hotel and conference center for donors and visitors would best serve the students of Texas A&M University. To reassure the small percentage of students who are unsure about the new hotel, The Mugdown would like to provide you with five benefits of this exciting endeavor.
HOWDY WEEK BINGO By Left on Redass
Howdy and welcome back to Aggieland! Use this ‘Howdy’ Bingo Board to document all of your back to school adventures. Five in a row results in a Bingo. Just tear it out and feel a little rebellious; we know you need it!
It proves that Texas A&M cares about growth
Now a part of A&M’s “ever-growing” campus, this feat of engineering proves that the Board of Regents cares deeply about the education of their students and how smart they appear to the public. Studies have shown that the amount of brand new, expensive buildings on campus is directly proportional to the quality of education students receive; the Ivy Leagues with all of their old, worn-down buildings are prime examples of this. It is obvious that the university has not done enough to direct attention and pour money into the football games at Kyle Field, especially apparent in the low attendance of these games, but Sharp and the Board of Regents guarantee that this hotel will make a significant improvement.
It shows that A&M is full of potential
This decision may set up many opportunities for the university, yet those anticipated perks remain unclear as of now. “It is very plausible that this hotel will be the best thing to happen to this campus. It’s hard to comprehend what this could maybe, possibly mean for the students here,” said Chancellor Sharp when he sat down with Mugdown staff. When pressed, Sharp would not reveal any specific details about actual benefits this will have for students, but ensured that they are potentially there, saying: “Just imagine all of the exciting things this space might bring, what with the potential for interesting events and the possibility of some other great stuff!”
It will draw positive attention to A&M
While the hotel features over 200 meeting spaces, several conference rooms, and a full-service restaurant for paying guests, the area surrounding the hotel is the perfect place for many student-led events. Nothing will complement racially-charged gatherings on the A&M campus more than a brand new fitness center and outdoor pool. Though very few students will have any need for the interior features, much preferring to protest on the outside lawn spaces, this on-campus hotel will please virtually everyone else who does not currently attend Texas A&M.
Not being able to find a seat in the MSC
“I’m a sophomore, but really a junior by hours, so Whoop!
Make a down payment on Sully for your expected struggles
eCampus shuts down right when you need to use it
Give up on taking ‘really’ good notes the second day of class
You can’t find a parking spot, anywhere
Your textbooks are not in stock anywhere
You forget all of your passwords from last semester
You already want to drop out and join the circus
Schedule an advisor meeting for early November
Pay for yet another online homework program
Get lost trying to find the Disability Center or Counseling Services
FREE SPACE
(for being an adult again, kind of)
Overhear an engineering major already complaining
Have the “Bro, my summer was so lit...” conversation with anyone
“This is definitely going to be my best semester”
Miss that one easy homework assignment that’s basically free points
Construction adds an extra three minutes to your walk between classes
Realize you forgot something at home when moving back to BCS
All professors you have this semester take attendance
Invest in an A+ or 4.0 and Go semester pass
You are handed the same flyer by different members of the same organization
Miss the bus you meant to catch after missing the first bus
It will bring in revenue that will benefit A&M’s education
As of now, Mugdown staff has yet to uncover evidence that this is true, but A&M should begin to see revenue trickle in from this project when the bonds are paid in full—a short 25-30 years down the road. However, the hotel is projected to bring with it some big donors who are more than willing to put money into the important things A&M has to offer, including the football games and hotel upkeep.
It will help A&M thwart surrounding competition
Not only will this undertaking surpass the luxuries of hotels on other college campuses in the area; it will put A&M at the forefront of local Bryan/College Station business as well. With the recent spike in hotel population around the BCS area, the university strives to challenge these nearby businesses. As the university’s focus shifts to competition in the lodging industry as their main area of concern, they ensure that the students’ money and football games at Kyle Field will remain their top priority. The hotel’s expected completion date is August 2018. “We are very excited to be taking on this endeavor,” said Sharp. “This is the only place on campus that will be remembered, and we wouldn’t want it any other way.”
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Start skipping classes during week one
Drop a class after the first day
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August 2017
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SUMMER FILM REVIEWS By Squatbucks and Buffalo Wild Wags
GLBT RESOURCE CENTER MOVED TO
UTILITY CLOSET By Hullakazoo
WONDER WOMAN Luring superhero fans everywhere, Wonder Woman showed all of the promise with none of the substance. Loosely based off of the comics, the movie portrays women flouncing around in metal underwear, dodging bullets at uncharacteristic speeds. What happened to the traditional male superhero that we all know and love? The roles were reversed, with Gal Gadot (Diana Prince/Wonder Woman) as the hero and Chris Pine (Steve Trevor) as the damsel in distress. The movie was a clear disservice to women and to superheroes alike. With a female director at the helm, it almost promoted too much feminism for the movie industry. DC Comics did not hit the bullseye with this one, but at least Marvel is holding out on not releasing a female-led superhero movie as of yet.
SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING Spider-Man: Homecoming is a long-overdue reboot of the Spider-Man franchise. It has been a long 15 years since Tobey Maguire’s original Spider-Man and an even longer 5 years since Andrew Garfield’s depiction of the web-slinger. Throughout this movie, you will be wondering why Michael Keaton is “Vulture” instead of “Batman” and, also, how it is remotely possible that Tom Holland (Peter Parker/Spider-Man) is of legal drinking age? If you’re a Robert Downey Jr. fan, or just love to watch an adolescent nerd swing around from buildings, this is the movie for you.
THE EMOJI MOVIE With a whopping 1.7 out of 10 on IMDB, The Emoji Movie has shocked moviegoers everywhere with its dense originality. Created by a sugar-induced 8-year-old that loved The Lego Movie a little too much, The Emoji Movie has been dubbed one of the best movies of all time. The premise, a multi-expressional emoji named Gene trying to become a normal emoji, is the backbone of the movie. With big names such as Patrick Stewart, Anna Faris, and Sofia Vergara, the witty dialogue and superb graphics keeps the viewer on the edge of their seat the entire time. You will laugh and you will cry, but you definitely won’t want to leave the theatre early. Don’t be fooled by the low rating; this is the movie of the summer that every College Station resident should be racing to see.
ATOMIC BLONDE Be sure to brush up on your Cold War facts before checking out the mystery thriller Atomic Blonde. This summer film will have your head spinning as you try to keep track of the multiple spy groups, plot twists, and back stabbings, all while trying to appreciate the ferocity of the protagonist, Lorraine Broughton (Charlize Theron). Broughton is under review of the CIA and M16 for a mission gone rogue, with her interrogation taking viewers on a flashback adventure. Theron not only performs as her own stunt double in this summer film, but she also plays for multiple teams, both on the job and in the bedroom. You’ll want to leave the parents at home for this one, and consider taking first dates to a different flick, as the fighting and sex scenes are equally detailed, satisfying, and cringeworthy, depending on your style. Music lovers and history buffs will enjoy the stellar soundtrack and the 1961 Berlin setting, but be sure to pay close attention to character names and occupations. Otherwise you will spend the next three days perusing Reddit and arguing with your friends to try and figure out what the hell happened.
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Texas A&M announced Friday that the GLBT Resource Center offices will be relocated by mid-September. The resource center, established as a safe haven for queer Aggie students, will move from its current location at White Creek to a utility closet on West Campus. “I guess there were a few signs, but I was still surprised,” said Bryce Merrick, a junior business major who has been a regular visitor to the resource center over the last two years. “I came in, and one of the student workers pulled me aside and said, ‘Bryce, I have to tell you something important. We’re being put in a closet.’ I thought it might have been a metaphor or the start of a thesis paper, but no. An actual closet awaits us.” This relocation follows another one made over the summer. In August, the GLBT resource center joined the ranks of student services standing in the way of the university’s hotel project (and building-sized cash machine) and was also whisked away to White Creek until a new location could be arranged. Freshman general studies major Leanna Brady was unconcerned. “I’m sure they’ll be fine,” said Brady. “What do they even need there? Skinny jeans and Frank Ocean records on vinyl?” The resource center maintains that it will continue to provide campus involvement and referral services despite employees and student workers having to step over a mop bucket to get to its only surviving desk. “I just hope we aren’t expected to stay in here for long.” Merrick said. “On the bright side, the janitor who keeps his equipment here seems pretty accepting.” www.mugdown.com
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FUNDAMENTALS OF AGGIE SOCIAL MEDIA MUGD 121 FALL 2017
Doesn’t matter, we’ll never be there anyway.
COURSE TITLE:
Fundamentals of Social Media at Texas A&M University
PREREQUISITES:
Accounts on the following platforms: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and LinkedIn.
OBJECTIVES:
Demonstrate proficiency of selected competencies across platforms. Identify and complete key aspects of self-marketing and social media development skills. This course will combine lecture with hands-on experiences of social media practices to cultivate 21st century leaders in the social media sphere of Texas A&M University. With an emphasis on the “fun” of “fundamentals,” this course should inspire students to present the best version of themselves online.
COURSE PHILOSOPHY:
Part II: Your Brand as a Visual Identity: Instagram as a Resume
Office Hours:
Week 4 & 5 Highlighting Your Lifestyle Arguably the most important two weeks of the course, class discussion will focus on creating and reinforcing your visual resume by establishing a consistent person brand identity on Instagram. You are an impressionist virtuoso, brush in hand, and Instagram is your canvas. With smooth brushstrokes, you can illustrate your reality: a little boozy brunch here, some Fish Camp there, a nice even coat of flattering selfies, and a few small splashes of #tbt from your European vacation. Week 6
Maintaining a Finsta
If you have created an effective Instagram account, you should be yearning for a way to share photos that show the “real you” that you wouldn’t dare show the world. If your Insta is a Renoir masterpiece, your Finsta is a Jackson Pollock: messy, but carries a lot of status. Class discussion will focus on leveraging the exclusivity of your Finsta as social capital. Week 7
Adventure Awaits: Leaving College Station
GRADING:
Although a great deal of learning takes place in this class, student learning will depend significantly on how much effort you put into this course outside of class.
There is a limit to the amount of gameday and Fish Camp photos you can post. Class discussion will focus on destinations that accentuate your artsy, athletic, and adventurous qualities. Note: There will be a field trip to Austin this week to take photographs at Graffiti Park, the “I Love You So Much” wall, and on a kayaking trip. Details to follow.
COURSE GRADE:
Normal TAMU grading scale. Final grades round; we’re not dicks so you’d better leave us a good review on RateMyProfessor.
Part III: Navigating the Modern Wild West: Aggie Twitter
COURSE OUTLINE: Week 1
Course introduction and identifying your brand
After reviewing course materials, class discussion will focus on selecting the characteristics of your personal brand. Students are encouraged to research the various brands before selecting a team. Teams include: The Earthy Christians, Defenders of The Spirit, The Frat Stars, The Sorority Sisters, The Poets, Hennything is Possible, and The Big City Aesthetics. Students will be expected to cultivate their online identity to best reflect their team.
Part I: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly: Understanding Facebook & Snapchat Week 2
The Gentrification of Facebook: How to Remain Safe
Facebook is the new Thanksgiving dinner. Class discussion will focus on maintaining an active presence on Facebook while minimizing the chances of provoking your social justice warrior neighbor, your racist uncle, or that friend who always seems to expose you by tagging you in photos for your mom to see. Bonus points will be given to students who demonstrate passive-aggressive complexity by liking specific comments in a Facebook argument without caving to the temptation of actually commenting. Week 3
Living Your Lit Life on Snapchat
Snapchat remains the last bastion of the youth, with the lowest concentration of parental figures and employers of the social media network. Class discussion will focus on cultivating a Snapchat Story that highlights your fun-loving aesthetic. A guest lecturer from the visualization department will provide insight into creating a snapchat filter for your party that doesn’t look like shitty WordArt.
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Week 8
Curating a Portfolio of Funny ContentTM
It’s impossible to be serious in 140 characters (don’t try: it always ends up disastrously). Likes and retweets are awarded to posts that are relatable, funny, or a combination of the two. Class discussion will focus on how to steal content and modify it just enough to get away with it, and how to effectively promote your other social media accounts when you publish a viral tweet. Oh, and don’t tweet recruits. Week 9
Expressing Your Down-to-Earth Sensibilities with Self-Deprecation
Twitter is the anti-Instagram. A successful Twitter personality highlights his/her lack of wealth, depression issues, poor GPA, and disappointing romantic lives. Class discussion will focus on how being back on your bullshit (even though you never left your bullshit) can be used to make you seem successful and put-together. Week 10
Being Woke AF
There are two paths to Twitter notoriety: being funny and being Woke AF. Class discussion will focus on how construct an angry tweet thread that’s longer than the original article you (didn’t) read. Choose a side—Yee Yee Twitter or Snowflake Twitter—to relentlessly defend and your mentions won’t be dry ever again!
Part IV: LinkedIn Week 11 Understanding LinkedIn’s Shared Illusion LinkedIn, like money, only holds value because everything assumes it has value. Enjoy the week off. www.mugdown.com
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CAMPUS VOICES In the wake of the “Unite the Right” events in Charlottesville, officials at Texas A&M University announced in August that they would not allow a similar rally to occur on campus, citing safety concerns. The protest, titled “White Lives Matter,” was scheduled to take place on September 11th at Rudder Plaza. Let’s see what people around campus have to say about it:
“Aw man, I was counting on that protest so I could get a cool profile pic with a clever protest sign and then bail before anything got too crazy.”
Arthur Brown Sophomore, majoring in young adult literature
“When have words ever hurt anyone? The triggered snowflakes at this liberal university are trying to literally murder our freedom of speech.”
Dylan Kyle
Senior, majoring in dipping tobacco engineering
“When I learned the University could have just cancelled this sort of event at any moment, it kind of made me wonder: why did they let that debacle happen back in December?”
Michele Smith
Junior, majoring in university studies
“Another instance of suppression of America’s most oppressed group: white men. You know we’re the new minority, right?”
Kyle Dylan
Sophomore, majoring in TexAgs communication studies
“We—er, I mean, I—heard the administration wanted to plan an even bigger event than Aggies United to pretend that an even bigger protest wasn’t happening. However, we—I mean, the University administration—determined the risk was too great. If even one student was seriously harmed can you imagine how much revenue we—I mean, the University—would lose?”
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John S.
Full name and major withheld per request.
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August 2017
The Mugdown 15
SPACES STILL AVAILABLE!
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