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Based on the Touchstone Pictures motion picture written by J. F. Lawton

Music and Lyrics by Bryan Adams & Jim Vallance

Book by Garry Marshall & J. F. Lawton

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(Last Revised—June 2026)

c ompany

VIVIAN—Early twenties. A quirky, sexy girl who reluctantly works on Hollywood Boulevard as a prostitute but dreams of something better. Opinionated, sensitive, sarcastic, energetic. A true survivor no matter what.

EDWARD LEWIS—Forties. Smart successful business mogul who takes over companies and sells their parts. Handsome, uptight, moody, workaholic. Looks like he has it all, but does he?

KIT DELUCA—Late twenties. Professional prostitute and party girl. Always peppy, optimistic, funny and street-smart. Often bossy.

HAPPY MAN—Fast-talking and smiling street hustler handing out maps to the stars homes. He dreams of being a full-time professional singer. He transforms into other characters, in particular…

MR. THOMPSON—Early fifties. Efficient, dapper manager of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Exdancer. Fashion and etiquette expert who believes in kindness.

MR. HOLLISTER—(Also played by Happy Man) High-end Beverly Hills clothing store/ boutique manager. Will say or do anything to make a sale.

PHILLIP STUCKEY—Forties. Ruthless business lawyer of Edward Lewis. Total control freak. Will go high and low to close a deal.

e nsemb L e

DAVID MORSE—Twenties. Son of the founder of Morse shipyards. Eager, impulsive, smart. Has a plan to save his father’s company.

HOMELESS WOMAN—Happy Man’s sidekick, down on her luck, but not her pride.

SIX STRING—A street musician with a guitar. Will rock for food.

SUSAN—A rich former girlfriend of Edward’s.

MURRY—Police detective. Gruff.

TOURIST—Thirties. Midwest female.

RHINESTONE COWBOY—Colorful Hollywood character. Thirties. Male.

RACHEL—Working girl with a casual attitude.

ANGEL—Twenties. Nightclub lowlife.

e nsemb L e ( c ont ’ d )

CARLOS—Twenties. Nightclub lowlife.

GIULIO—Twenties. Young, curious, elevator boy at the hotel. A little naive and trying hard to be responsible.

OLDER WOMAN—Wealthy prudish hotel guest.

OLDER MAN—Husband of Older Woman.

LAWYER JASON—Twenties. Smart, ambitious.

LAWYER BOB—Thirties. Insecure and afraid of losing his job.

LAWYER FRED—Twenties. Just joined the law firm.

AMANDA—Thirties. Snobby store clerk. Snooty.

ERICA—Thirties. Snobby store clerk. Mean and snooty.

VOLTAIRE MAITRE’D—Thirties. Snobbish.

LANDLORD—Fifties. Mean and loud.

MARY PAT, MARY KATE, & MARY FRANCIS—Eager salesgirls.

DIGBY—Susan’s snobby husband. Born into money.

BENTLEY—Rich guy at polo match.

SENATOR ADAMS—Fifties. Powerful Senator and chairman of the Appropriations Committee.

VIOLETTA—Opera singer. Soprano.

ALFREDO—Opera singer. Tenor.

STREET GUYS, COPS, HOOKERS, BUSINESSMEN, LAWYERS, OLD WEALTHY COUPLE, ELEGANT RODEO DRIVE GENTS, RODEO DRIVE LADIES, DINNER DANCE COUPLES, POLO GUESTS, OPERA USHER, ELEGANT DANCERS AT GALA, POOL SIDE GUESTS AND WAITERS. All must sing and dance.

m usica L n umbers

m usica L n umbers ( c ont ’ d )

ACT I

HOLLYWOOD—ONCE UPON A TIME IN THE 1980’S…

Hollywood Boulevard at night. A BEAT KICKS UP. The HAPPY MAN, a tour barker peddling Maps to the Stars, calls out to the audience.

HAPPY MAN

Welcome to Hollywood! What’s your dream? Everyone who comes to Hollywood has got a dream.

Colorful Hollywood characters join him, including a HOMELESS WOMAN and SIX STRING, a street musician playing a guitar. Everyone begins to dance as the HAPPY MAN sings.

(HAPPY MAN)

TELL ME, WHAT’S YOUR DREAM?

I KNOW YOU’VE GOT ONE IT’S LIKE A MAP TO YOUR LIFE

YOU’LL BE LOST UNTIL YOU’VE CAUGHT ONE

Big dance break that climaxes with the reveal of VIVIAN sneaking out an apartment window and climbing down a fire escape.

LOOK AT HER—SHE’S GOT DREAMS OF HER OWN DEEP INSIDE HOW DO I KNOW?

IT’S MY JOB, I’M YOUR GUIDE. SO STICK WITH ME AND YOU’LL SEE WHERE THIS IS GOIN’ VIVIAN exits.

YOU’LL HEAR THE CITY’S HEARTBEAT IN EV’RY SQUARE OF CONCRETE COME FOLLOW ME NOW WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!

Above in the Hollywood Hills, UPSCALE GUESTS mingle at a fancy cocktail party. EDWARD starts to leave and STUCKEY chases him.

STUCKEY

Edward! Edward! Where are you going?

#1—Welcome To Hollywood Happy Man, Ensemble, Kit

EDWARD

To work. We’ve got six days before the board meeting and I want the Morse Shipping deal closed by then.

STUCKEY

It will be. That’s why all our investors are here. They’re here to see you.

EDWARD

They saw me. Tell the valet to bring my limo around.

STUCKEY reluctantly heads off.

SUSAN approaches.

SUSAN (E3)

Edward, you just flew in from New York and you’re leaving already?

EDWARD

Susan, I’m sorry. I’m just not in the mood for a party. They hug and she gives him a kiss on the cheek.

I heard you got married.

SUSAN (E3) (flashes ring)

I couldn’t wait for you. How’s Jessica?

EDWARD

We just broke up. (Beat) Let me ask you a question, when we were dating, did you speak to my secretary more than you spoke to me?

SUSAN (E3)

She was one of my bridesmaids.

EDWARD

Oh. Your husband’s a very lucky guy. He kisses her on the cheek and walks off. STUCKEY rushes over.

STUCKEY

Edward, your limo is stuck at the bottom of the hill. Stay and see the Hollywood Bowl fireworks.

We’ve got a perfect view…

(STUCKEY)

I’m going. Give me your car keys.

EDWARD

STUCKEY unhappily hands over his keys. EDWARD heads out.

STUCKEY

Are you sure?

It’s a brand new 1989 Lotus.

Do you know how to drive a stick? Please, don’t scratch it!

ENSEMBLE

HAH, HAH, HAH, HAH

ENSEMBLE

WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!

As EDWARD exits:

HAPPY MAN

LOOK AT HIM, HE’S RICH, HE THINKS HE’S WINNING

HE NEEDS TO LEARN THAT HIS JOURNEY’S JUST BEGINNING

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE

WE WELCOME YOUR ARRIVAL

WE WISH YOU WELL

SURVIVAL’S THE NAME OF THE GAME

KIT

WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

THE BLUE BANANA BAR:

The music shifts into the bridge as LOWLIFES dance in a low rent bar.

KIT pours shots for the crowd.

KIT & ENSEMBLE

IN BRIGHT NEON LIGHT YOU CAN PARTY ALL NIGHT HERE IN ENSEMBLE

HOLLYWOOD

HOLLYWOOD! YEAH!

KIT

HAPPY MAN

KIT & ENSEMBLE

THINGS WILL BE FINE ‘CAUSE THE SUN’S ALWAYS SHINING IN ENSEMBLE

HOLLYWOOD

YEAH! YEAH!

HOLLYWOOD! YEAH!

KIT

HAPPY MAN

KIT

I LIVE FOR TODAY NOT A CARE COME WHAT MAY HERE IN ENSEMBLE

HOLLYWOOD

KIT I LOVE IT!

KIT & HAPPY MAN YOU LOVE IT!

KIT, HAPPY MAN, & ENSEMBLE WE LOVE IT!

KIT & HAPPY MAN

OH!

KIT

ME AND MY FRIENDS, YEAH, THE FUN NEVER ENDS HERE IN

ENSEMBLE

FOR ME AND MY FRIENDS, YEAH THE FUN NEVER ENDS HERE IN HOLLYWOOD

KIT & HAPPY MAN HOLLYWOOD

KIT

OH… OOO… VIVIAN appears. The HAPPY MAN clicks his fingers freezes Vivian and everyone.

HAPPY MAN

Look at her, a damsel in distress, or a hero on a quest? You decide. Her name is Vivian. The HAPPY MAN unfreezes everyone.

VIVIAN

I can’t freaking believe this! Kit! Kit! Is this what you’re doing with our rent money?

KIT

Oh, Vivian!

You took it while I was sleeping?

VIVIAN

KIT

You were unavailable for consultation. Besides, it’s my apartment.

VIVIAN

Yeah, well I have to live there too. The landlord pounded on the door yelling. I had to sneak out the fire escape.

KIT

Relax, you worry too much. Angel, you know my roommate, Vivian. This is Carlos…

VIVIAN

I know everybody.

ANGEL (E8)

Come join the party, girl!

ANGEL paws VIVIAN and she pushes him off.

VIVIAN

I don’t want to join the party. Kit, if we don’t pay the landlord three hundred dollars tonight he’s throwing us out!

VIVIAN angrily exits and KIT chases her.

KIT

Vivian, stop trying to make everyone happy. You’re not tequila!

HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD:

The HAPPY MAN returns.

HAPPY MAN

And who am I? I’m nobody. Or anybody. You need a tour guide? I can take you anywhere. You need some street background? I’m in the Extras Guild. I can play a good guy or a bad guy. But I like good guy’s better. I’m kinda Hollywood Boulevard’s fairy Godfather.

The HAPPY MAN leads the street people into a big dance finish.

HAPPY MAN

HOPES AND DREAMS ARE WHAT THIS TOWN IS MADE OF

SO GIVE IT A SHOT, YOU GOT NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF

YOU’LL SEE ME HERE, AND YOU’LL SEE ME THERE YOU JUST MIGHT SEE ME EVERYWHERE

BUT FIRST YOU MUST BELIEVE YES, YOU MUST BELIEVE IF YOU JUST BELIEVE…

ENSEMBLE

WE’VE ALL GOT HOPES AND DREAMS

BUT FIRST YOU MUST BELIEVE YES, YOU MUST BELIEVE IF YOU JUST BELIEVE…

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE YOU’LL SEE THE LOVE WE’RE SENDING WITH EVERY HAPPY ENDING

HAPPY MAN THIS I CAN PROMISE

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!

Maps to the Stars! What’s your dream? Everyone’s got a dream!

VIVIAN and KIT enter.

The HAPPY MAN hands VIVIAN a Map to the Stars. VIVIAN sits on a bus bench. The HAPPY MAN tries to give KIT a map, but KIT refuses and sits next to VIVIAN.

KIT

Don’t give me that look. There’s still time make the rent back tonight.

VIVIAN

They found Skinny Marie in an alley. Dead. That could have been either of us.

KIT

Skinny was a crackhead. She didn’t take care of herself. She let everyone walk over her. Remember what I taught you? Rule one is take care of you. We say who, we say when, we say how much.

KIT spots RACHEL.

Hey, yo, Rachel!

What?

RACHEL (E4)

KIT

You see the stars on the sidewalk, babe? Vivian and me, we work Bob Hope, we work the Ritz Brothers, all the way down to Ella Fitzgerald. This is our turf. We got seniority. Get off our corner.

RACHEL (E4)

Forgive me. I was just taking a rest here. Besides, she’s new.

KIT

Yeah, well, I’m old. So go rest up by Fred Astaire or Ronald Reagan.

RACHEL (E4)

Okay, fine. Chill out, Grandma. Don’t be such a grouch.

RACHEL moves on. VIVIAN looks downbeat.

KIT

Grouch? I’m just hungry! I’m gonna get a hot dog. You want something?

VIVIAN

No. Kit, don’t you want to get out of here?

KIT

Get out of where? Where do you want to go?

VIVIAN doesn’t know. She opens the map and looks at it for an answer. She sings.

VIVIAN

I LOOK AROUND AND WHAT I SEE IS I DON’T BELONG HERE, THIS ISN’T ME WHAT HAVE I BECOME? I’M REALLY NOT THIS GIRL

IS THAT ALL THERE IS? WHAT’S IT GONNA TAKE TO GET OFF THIS STREET WHEN DO I GET A BREAK?

IT’S NOT WHAT I WANTED THIS IS NOT MY WORLD

I KNOW WHERE I’D CHOOSE TO GO IF I COULD DISAPPEAR ANYWHERE BUT HERE ANYWHERE BUT HERE I CAN FEEL SOMETHING COMING I LONG TO BE FREE I JUST WANNA BE ANYWHERE BUT HERE

THIS SIDEWALK DOESN’T SUIT MY SOUL I GOTTA MAKE SOME CHANGES AND TAKE CONTROL I NEED ROOM TO MOVE, I WANNA FEEL THE WIND IN MY HAIR A CLEAR BLUE SKY WITH AIR TO BREATHE I FEEL IT’S TIME TO FLY ‘CAUSE I BELIEVE THAT THERE’S SO MUCH MORE AND IT’S WAITING FOR ME OUT THERE

(VIVIAN)

I CAN SEE WHERE I WANNA BE IT COULDN’T BE MORE CLEAR ANYWHERE BUT HERE

VIVIAN

ANYWHERE BUT HERE

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING MY HEART’S TELLING ME

I JUST WANNA BE ANYWHERE BUT HERE

ENSEMBLE

AHH… AHH…

ENSEMBLE (2) NO MORE LANDLORD

ENSEMBLE (4) NO MORE RENT

ENSEMBLE (11)

JUST A PLACE OF YOUR OWN

ENSEMBLE (2, 4, & 11) WHERE YOU’LL BE CONTENT

VIVIAN

I WANNA SHARE IT ALL WITH SOMEONE WHO’D SHARE IT ALL WITH ME I BELIEVE SOMEHOW, SOME DAY THAT’S THE WAY IT WILL BE VIVIAN ANYWHERE BUT HERE ANYWHERE BUT HERE I CAN FEEL SOMETHING COMING I LONG TO BE FREE

ENSEMBLE

AHH…

I JUST WANNA BE ANYWHERE ANYWHERE BUT HERE

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR SOMETHING MY HEART’S TELLING ME

I JUST WANNA BE ANYWHERE BUT HERE

AHH… AHH…

There is the sound of GRINDING GEARS and tires screeching to a stop nearby. KIT returns, finishing a hotdog.

Oh, yo. Oh, yo. Catch this.

KIT

VIVIAN

Wait a minute. That’s a Lotus Esprit.

KIT

No, no. That’s rent!

We hear a car door slam. EDWARD enters. You should go for him. You look hot tonight.

VIVIAN

You don’t think I look too much like Carol Channing?

KIT

I love Carol Channing! You always short change yourself. It’s very glamorous. Glamour choice.

EDWARD looks lost.

HAPPY MAN

Welcome to Hollywood! You look lost.

EDWARD

I’m not lost. I just need directions to…

HAPPY MAN

What you need… is right here.

The HAPPY MAN hands him a map, then dances off. EDWARD unfolds it, confused.

KIT

Don’t take less than 100. Call me when you’re through. Take care of you.

VIVIAN bumps KIT’s fist.

Take care of you.

VIVIAN

VIVIAN transforms into work mode. She struts towards Edward who sits on the bench, looking at the map.

KIT

That’s it, work it. Work it, baby. Own it. Owww!

KIT exits. EDWARD notices VIVIAN.

Hey, sugar, you looking for a date?

VIVIAN

EDWARD No. I’m lost.

VIVIAN

Really lost or needing a therapist lost?

EDWARD pauses, thoughtful.

EDWARD

Maybe both. (Beat) Could you… oh, hello… just give me directions to the Beverly Wilshire Hotel?

VIVIAN

Sure. For five bucks.

Five bucks? Ridiculous.

Price just went up to ten.

You can’t charge me for directions.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

I can do anything I want to, baby. I ain’t lost.

EDWARD

Alright, you win, I lose. First time for everything. Got change for a twenty? He pulls a bill from his wallet.

VIVIAN

Nope. (Takes twenty) Go straight to Highland. Big sign. Turn left to Wilshire. Turn right, keep straight and you can’t miss it.

EDWARD

Could you repeat that?

VIVIAN

Sure, for another twenty.

EDWARD shakes his head and heads off. VIVIAN chases him. Did you just get that car?

EDWARD

No, it’s my lawyer’s. I need to get it to my hotel in one piece.

VIVIAN

You’re not shifting right. The Lotus is a standard H.

EDWARD

Standard H? Like I know what that means.

VIVIAN

How do you know so little about cars?

EDWARD

My first car was a limousine.

VIVIAN

Lucky you.

EDWARD (Shrugs.)

How do you know so much about cars?

VIVIAN

Where I grew up, everyone was into cars. The X180 is a fuel injected turbo. The trick is to keep your foot light between shifts till the turbines spin up. It also has pedals like a race car. So it’s probably easier for a woman to drive… ‘cause they have little feet.

She’s hinting for him to let her drive, but instead, he looks suspiciously at her boots. Which makes her instantly confess.

(VIVIAN)

Except me, I’m size 9. Did you know your foot’s the same size as your arm from your elbow to your wrist?

She holds her foot up to show him. He notices her boot has a safety pin holding it together.

No, I didn’t know that.

Little bit of trivia.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

Just out of curiosity, what kind of money do you… professionals make these days?

VIVIAN

Can’t take less than hundred.

A hundred dollars a night?

For an hour.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

You make hundred dollars an hour, and you got a safety pin holding your boot up? You gotta be joking.

VIVIAN

I never joke about money.

Neither do I.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Then you’re in luck, for tonight only, I’m running a special! One hundred for an hour, plus free chauffeur service to the…

Beverly Wilshire Hotel.

What’s your name?

EDWARD & VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

What do you want it to be… ? Vivian. It’s Vivian.

EDWARD

You can really drive that thing?

VIVIAN

Oh, hell, yes! Hey, what’s your name?

EDWARD

Edward.

VIVIAN

Edward!? That’s my favorite name in the whole world!

VIVIAN exits. MUSIC in.

3—Something About Her (Preamble) / Welcome To Hollywood (Reprise)

EDWARD

WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED SHE TOOK ME FOR A RIDE SHE BEAT ME AT MY OWN GAME SHE CUT ME DOWN TO SIZE

SO NOW WE’VE GOT AN HOUR I’M NOT SURE WHAT TO DO I HAVEN’T GOT A CLUE

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER

SHE’S CHARMING THERE’S NO DOUBT THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I GUESS THAT I’LL FIND OUT

Edward, Happy Man, Ensemble

The HAPPY MAN returns.

HAPPY MAN

Maps to the Stars! You can’t get to where you want to be without a map! It’s all written in the stars!

HAPPY MAN SO COME ALONG, I’LL MEET YOU THERE I CAN TAKE YOU ANYWHERE ‘CAUSE ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE–

WELCOME TOO…

ENSEMBLE

HAPPY MAN

He changes out of his tour barker outfit in front of the audience. He adjusts the tie on a nice suit jacket and becomes MR. THOMPSON, the manager of the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. The set transforms to…

BEVERLY WILSHIRE HOTEL LOBBY:

MR. THOMPSON

The Beverly Wilshire Hotel. He steps over to GIULIO, an elevator boy.

MR. THOMPSON

Giulio, turn the vase in the vestibule twenty degrees clockwise. And the atrium brass needs polishing. Smile. Smile. Everything must be perfect at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel!

EDWARD and VIVIAN enter. VIVIAN looks around and stops in her tracks.

A passing OLDER COUPLE turn and stare at her. The OLDER WOMAN is appalled at her skimpy outfit. The OLDER MAN is delighted.

Holy shit.

VIVIAN

OLDER WOMAN (E4)

Close your mouth, dear.

She drags him off. EDWARD drapes his raincoat over VIVIAN’S shoulders.

Why don’t you put on my raincoat?

Why?

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

This hotel is not the kind of establishment that rents rooms by the hour.

VIVIAN

Ah. Now I look like a hooker in a raincoat.

EDWARD

You’re going to be fine. Just keep a low profile.

MR. THOMPSON approaches.

MR. THOMPSON

Good evening, Mr. Lewis. Welcome back.

EDWARD

Could you have some champagne and strawberries sent up to my room?

MR. THOMPSON

Right away, Mr. Lewis.

VIVIAN notices a bowl of apples. She tentatively touches one.

Wow, real apples! Classy.

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

Help yourself.

VIVIAN grabs a bunch, stuffing them into her purse.

What are you doing?

EDWARD

VIVIAN

They’re good snacks. I might get hungry later.

EDWARD shakes his head and leads her to the elevator. GIULIO allows VIVIAN to step in.

GIULIO (E14)

Going up?

EDWARD nods and enters. GIULIO presses the penthouse button. Transition to…

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

GIULIO (E14)

Penthouse.

EDWARD and VIVIAN step into the penthouse. Champagne and strawberries are already waiting for them. VIVIAN looks around the amazing suite.

VIVIAN

Wow, the penthouse. Fancy.

She steps out onto the terrace.

What an amazing view. You can see all the way to the ocean from out here.

EDWARD

I’ll take your word for it. I don’t go out there. I’m afraid of heights.

VIVIAN

You are? Then why’d you get the penthouse?

VIVIAN returns inside.

It’s the best.

Big ass piano. Do you play?

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

Occasionally. My mother was a classical pianist.

VIVIAN

Then you’ll love this.

VIVIAN plays chopsticks on the piano.

(VIVIAN)

So, Edward, are you in town for business or… pleasure?

#3A—Big Ass Piano

EDWARD

Business. Always business. So I didn’t exactly plan any of this.

VIVIAN

Do you plan everything?

EDWARD pours her a glass of champagne.

EDWARD Always.

VIVIAN

Yeah, me too. (Beat) No. No I’m not a planner. I’m more of a fly by the seat of my pants kinda gal. You know, moment to moment.

VIVIAN takes the champagne and sexily sits on the coffee table.

You’re on my brief.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Well, that’s one I haven’t been on before.

VIVIAN raises her butt so he can take it. EDWARD brings over the bowl of strawberries.

EDWARD

Try a strawberry. It brings out the flavor in the champagne.

VIVIAN tries a strawberry.

Groovy. Don’t you drink?

VIVIAN

EDWARD No.

VIVIAN

Okay. I appreciate the whole seduction scene you’ve got going, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing. Let’s get going. I’ll comp the car drive, lobby and champagne introductions. Your hour officially begins… now.

VIVIAN looks at EDWARD. EDWARD doesn’t move. She pushes him to the couch.

(VIVIAN)

Okay. If you have a special kink, preference or fantasy, I have boundaries but I’m not judgmental. We’ll save A LOT of time if you’re just up front about it. Got any?

EDWARD

… no.

VIVIAN nods and pulls some condoms out of her boot.

VIVIAN

Then pick a condom. I got red, I got green, I got yellow, I’m out of purple, but I do have one gold circle coin left, the condom of champions. Nothing is getting through this sucker. What do you say?

EDWARD

A buffet of safety.

I’m a safety girl.

Could we just talk a little?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Sure, we can talk… for 59 more minutes.

EDWARD

Right. This time issue is a problem. Why don’t we solve it? How much for the entire night?

VIVIAN

The entire night?

EDWARD Yes.

VIVIAN

You couldn’t afford it.

EDWARD

Try me.

VIVIAN

Three hundred dollars.

EDWARD

Done.

He pays her. VIVIAN squeals excitedly, she now has her rent. Thank you. Now we can relax. I have some work to catch up on before the morning. EDWARD returns to work, checking through contracts.

VIVIAN

Sure, relax. I’d love to relax.

MUSIC IN. VIVIAN relaxes in an animated fashion.

#4—Something About Her

EDWARD

I DON’T KNOW HOW I GOT HERE SHE TOOK ME BY SURPRISE SHE’S REALLY IS QUITE SOMETHING MUCH MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE

THAT WAS SOME NEGOTIATION THIS GIRL CAN CUT A DEAL AND I CAN’T HELP BUT FEEL

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER I CAN’T PUT MY FINGER ON IT THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I THINK I WANT IT

A SUDDEN, CHANCE ENCOUNTER SHOULD I HAVE JUST REFUSED? I ASKED HER FOR DIRECTIONS AND NOW I FEEL CONFUSED

I CAN’T SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING I’M NOT THINKING STRAIGHT AND IT’S GETTING LATE

(EDWARD)

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER AND I’M SEEING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT NOW I FIND…

I’M WOND’RING WHY SHE SEEMS SO FREE I’M WOND’RING WHAT’S STOPPING ME?

VIVIAN is camped out on the floor with the strawberries in front of the glow of the television.

VIVIAN

I’m having a little carpet picnic. You want a strawberry? They’re really good when you dip them in these sugar packets. It brings out the flavor of the… sugar.

EDWARD smiles and shakes his head, trying to go back to work.

EDWARD

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER THAT I’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT HER I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS BUT I KNOW THAT I NEED MORE

EDWARD finishes the song. He and VIVIAN make eye contact. She crawls over to the couch and undoes his tie.

What do you want?

What do you do?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Everything. But I don’t kiss on the mouth.

EDWARD

Neither do I.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT I KNOW THAT I NEED MORE. VIVIAN unbuttons his shirt. LIGHTS OUT.

HALLWAY:

#4A—Giulio’s Big Adventure

GIULIO appears as MR. THOMPSON approaches with a breakfast tray.

MR. THOMPSON

Good morning, Giulio. Please take this breakfast assortment to Mr. Lewis’ penthouse.

GIULIO (E14)

Yes, sir!

MR. THOMPSON

And Giulio, remember, discretion leaves an impression.

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

GIULIO enters the penthouse and sets up the breakfast. He spots Vivian’s purse and does a double take as he spots a pillow on the floor by the couch. He tidies up the room.

EDWARD enters.

GIULIO (E14)

Your breakfast, Mr. Lewis. (beat) Will that be all, sir?

EDWARD

Yes. Thank you.

GIULIO exits. VIVIAN, in a bathrobe, enters carrying a wig, revealing her natural hair.

Surprise. It’s a wig.

It’s better.

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

I know you’re busy. Thank you for the taxi money. It was a business doing pleasure with you. They shake hands with fake formality. EDWARD points to the food.

EDWARD

You don’t have to rush. I ordered you some breakfast. I didn’t know what you would like so I ordered a little of everything.

VIVIAN nods and sits on the chaise. She picks up a pancake and eats it with her fingers.

VIVIAN

Oh. Thanks. Did you sleep at all last night?

EDWARD

A little. I was mostly working.

EDWARD starts to put on his tie.

VIVIAN

You don’t sleep, you don’t drink, you hardly eat anything. What do you do, Edward?

I buy distressed companies.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Why distressed? Are you good at fixing them?

EDWARD

No. Some companies are worth more after they are shut down. I’m targeting a ship building firm. Its founder passed away and it lost its Navy contracts. But it still has valuable real estate and other assets I can sell off.

VIVIAN goes to help him with his tie.

VIVIAN

So you don’t build anything. You don’t make anything. It’s like stealing cars and selling the parts?

EDWARD

No. (beat) Yes, actually. But it’s legal. For this company I’ll pay the bargain price of about one billion.

VIVIAN

A billion dollars? Wow. You must be really smart. I only got through eleventh grade. How far did you go in school?

EDWARD

I went all the way.

VIVIAN

Your folks must be really proud, huh?

He smiles sadly. VIVIAN finishes the tie.

Perfect.

Where did you learn to do that?

EDWARD

VIVIAN

I screwed the debate team in high school. (Beat) I had a grandpa. He was nice to me. He wore ties to church on Sundays. Mind if I take a swim in your tub before I go?

EDWARD

Not at all. Stay in the shallow end.

VIVIAN bounces out. EDWARD picks up the wig on the piano. There is an elevator ding. GIULIO leads STUCKEY in.

STUCKEY

Edward! My man, you were right, as always.

EDWARD

Of course, I was right. David Morse? You gave him the draft bid?

EDWARD tosses GIULIO Vivian’s purse behind Stuckey’s back.

STUCKEY

Yes, he came in just an hour ago with this pitiful cease and desist letter demanding we end the hostile takeover.

EDWARD tosses GIULIO Vivian’s wig. STUCKEY spots the wig and GUILIO uses it like a dust cloth.

EDWARD

That will be all, Giulio.

GIULIO exits, dusting as he goes out.

STUCKEY

Anyway, you should have seen it. It was like a cavalry charge into machine guns. They had no idea we were ready to move so soon.

EDWARD

The Art of War: “Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.”

STUCKEY

Sun Tzu got nothing on Edward Lewis!

EDWARD

A billion dollar cash offer will be impossible for the board to turn down. Get this back to the office, I’ll meet you there.

STUCKEY

No, no, you haven’t heard the best part yet! Junior demands to meet with you. Demands! He’s got some crazy idea to save the company.

There is a strange sound coming from the bathroom.

EDWARD

Interesting. Alright. Set it up.

The sound gets louder.

STUCKEY

What would be the point? He doesn’t own enough shares to… what is that noise? Is there someone in there?

VIVIAN (O.S.)

WOO WOO YEAH YEAH

I COULD GET USE TO THIS BABY

VIVIAN (O.S.)

WOO WOO YEAH YEAH

THIS COULD BE MY STYLE

I’M TALKING ABOUT FOREVER

EDWARD

Oh no, housekeeping is singing. Go tell Morse I’ll meet him here tonight for a social dinner at the hotel restaurant.

EDWARD quickly starts to lead STUCKEY out.

STUCKEY

The Voltaire? But that’s a high profile place. If people see you talking… oh, you’re a genius! It will look like he’s selling out his father’s company.

EDWARD

I’ll even bring a date to keep him off balance.

STUCKEY

Good idea. I know a supermodel…

EDWARD

No. I’ve already got it handled.

STUCKEY

But I thought Jessica dumped you. Who are you going to bring?

VIVIAN (O.S.)

OW! I’M TALKING ‘BOUT FOREVER

EDWARD

No one you know. Your car is with the valet.

STUCKEY

The way you were driving down the hill I’m surprised you even got it here alive.

EDWARD

I figured out the trick is to keep your foot light between shifts. Like all fuel injected turbos.

STUCKEY looks at EDWARD taken aback. EDWARD rushes him to the door.

I’ll meet you at the office.

STUCKEY exits. EDWARD goes into the bathroom to reveal VIVIAN in a bathtub, singing (a cappella) as she listens to a Walkman.

Could Get Used to This Vivian

VIVIAN

WOO WOO YEAH YEAH

I COULD GET USE TO THIS BABY

WOO WOO YEAH YEAH

THIS COULD BE MY STYLE

She spots EDWARD and smiles sheepishly, removing the headphones.

I like your tub.

EDWARD

I noticed. Vivian, I have a new business proposition for you. I’m going to be in town for six days and I’d like you to spend the week with me.

VIVIAN

Really? But you’re a rich, good-looking guy. You could get a million girls for free.

EDWARD

I… want a sure thing. I have a lot of work to do and I don’t want any romantic hassles. I need a professional. I will pay you to be at my beck and call.

VIVIAN

Look, I would love to be your “beck and call” girl. But if we’re talking 24 hours a day, it’s gonna cost you.

EDWARD

Alright, yes, of course. Here we go. How much?

VIVIAN

Let’s see. Six nights of professional, hassle free, beck and call. Four thousand dollars.

#4B—I

EDWARD

Six nights at three hundred is eighteen hundred.

VIVIAN

You want days too.

Two thousand.

Three thousand.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

Done.

EDWARD exits the bathroom. Vivian grabs her clothes and follows.

Alright, I’m in a hurry and need to get to the office. Meantime, I would like you to buy some new clothes. So I’m going to trust you with my credit card. You can sign on it.

He opens his wallet and pulls out a charge card.

You trust me with that?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

Don’t go crazy. Nothing too flashy. Or too sexy. Understand?

VIVIAN nods excitedly.

Conservative. Yes.

VIVIAN

EDWARD hands it to her. EDWARD heads out.

I would’ve stayed for two thousand!

I would’ve paid four.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Baby, I’m gonna treat you so nice, you’re never gonna want to let me go.

EDWARD

Three thousand for six days. And Vivian, I will let you go. EDWARD exits. VIVIAN whispers to herself with a smile.

VIVIAN

But I’m here now.

(VIVIAN)

MY BODY’S SHAKING MY SKIN IS TINGLING ALL MY SENSES ARE IN OVERLOAD

VIVIAN picks up the phone and calls Kit.

KIT! I CAN’T BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO ME

I MADE A DEAL FOR THREE THOUSAND BUCKS MY HEAD FEELS LIKE IT’S GONNA EXPLODE

Reg. Bev. Wil!

DON’T WANT THIS FEELIN’ TO GO AWAY WHEN I THINK ABOUT WHERE I WAS YESTERDAY IT’S SO AMAZING—I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT A BILLIONAIRE WOULD CARE ABOUT A GIRL LIKE ME

I’VE GOT MONEY TO SPEND I’VE GOT CHAMPAGNE ON ICE THERE’S A SMILE ON MY FACE I’M GETTIN’ TREATED REAL NICE

I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

SOMEBODY PINCH ME—THIS CAN’T BE TRUE IF I DESERVE THIS TELL ME WHAT DID I DO? HE COULD GET A MILLION GIRLS FOR FREE ANYONE HE WANTS BUT HE SEEMS TO WANT ME

LOOK AT THIS—HERE I AM ON THE TOP FLOOR

EV’RYTHING IS FIRST CLASS

EV’RYTHING IS TOP DRAWER

#5—Luckiest Girl In The World Vivian, Kit, Giulio

(VIVIAN)

I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

OH, IT’S A LONG LONG WAY FROM A SMALL TOWN IN GEORGIA TO BEVERLY HILLS, CA IF THIS KEEPS ON GOING I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT I MIGHT SEE, WHERE I MIGHT BE WHEN I WALK OUT THAT DOOR IN SIX DAYS KIT rushes into the room led by GIULIO.

KIT

OH MY GOD—THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS?! I CAN’T BELIEVE I GAVE YOU THAT GUY!

Did he give you the money yet?

VIVIAN

He pays me at the end of the week.

KIT

Didn’t I teach you to always get the cash up front! WELL YOU MIGHT THINK THAT YOU GOT IT MADE BUT ALWAYS START BY MAKING SURE THAT YOU GET PAID

VIVIAN

HE SAID TWO I SAID FOUR WE SETTLED ON THREE

VIVIAN & KIT AND THAT’S A WHOLE LOT MORE!

KIT

YOU DON’T HAVE TO REMIND ME WE’VE GOT ONE GIRL TO THANK GIULIO THE RENT’S GETTIN’ PAID

VIVIAN, KIT, & GIULIO AND THERE’S CASH IN THE BANK

KIT

I’M STARTING TO FEEL YOU’RE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

VIVIAN

I’M STARTING TO FEEL LIKE THE LUCKIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD

VIVIAN & KIT

IT’S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE WE’RE THE LUCKIEST GIRLS IN THE WORLD

Will that be all, Ma’am?

GIULIO (E14)

VIVIAN

That will be all.

KIT takes the champagne bottle.

Thank you.

GIULIO exits.

KIT

VIVIAN

I got the rent. And look, he gave me his credit card to go shopping. VIVIAN shows KIT the credit card. KIT grabs it.

KIT

We’re going to Vegas!

VIVIAN

No, no. He trusts me and we want the three thousand dollars.

KIT

Okay. Right. We go honest. Ooo, I’m getting a chill being honest. The phone rings. VIVIAN instinctively picks it up. We see EDWARD on the other end of the line.

Hello.

Never pick up the phone.

Then why are you calling me?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

To tell you never to pick up the phone if it rings. Especially when I’m out. Understand?

VIVIAN

Okey-dokey.

He hangs up. VIVIAN hangs up and turns to KIT.

He doesn’t want me to answer the phone.

KIT nods. The phone rings again. VIVIAN can’t resist and picks it up.

Hello.

I told you never to pick up the phone.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Then stop calling me!

VIVIAN hangs up the phone. EDWARD exits with a chuckle.

KIT

You going to be okay with this guy? He seems a couple McNuggets short of a Happy Meal.

VIVIAN

He’s alright. He told me that he wants me to get some new clothes. Where do I go to get something to wear so I fit in?

KIT

In Beverly Hills?

#6—Rodeo Drive Kit, Ensemble (KIT)

It’s right down there.

MUSIC.

Rodeo Drive, baby!

MUSIC ramps up. Transition to:

RODEO DRIVE:

They are now standing on Rodeo Drive.

KIT sings.

KIT

WOULD I EVER GIVE YOU BAD ADVICE?

HAVE I EVER STEERED YOU WRONG? WELL, MAYBE I DID—ONCE OR TWICE BUT NOW WE’RE SINGIN’ A DIFF’RENT SONG

‘CAUSE THERE AIN’T NO LIMIT ON A PLATINUM CARD MY GOD, THE DAMAGE YOU COULD DO HE CAN AFFORD IT—LET’S HIT HIM HARD JUST REMEMBER—IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU

WITH THIS KIND OF MONEY, HONEY

WE’RE GOING TO MAKE HIS DAY SO START TO MAKE YOUR WAY TO… RODEO DRIVE, BABY

BLACK DRESS, WHITE DRESS STAY OUT ALL NIGHT DRESS

TRUST ME—YOU’RE GONNA HAVE SOME FUN RED SHOES, BLUE SHOES

IF YOU MAKE THE RIGHT MOVES HE’LL WANNA SEE YA WITH YOUR BUTTONS UNDONE SO GET WHAT YOU CAN, HONEY

‘CAUSE THERE AIN’T NOTHIN’ HE WON’T DO C’MON THEY’RE WAITING FOR YOU ON… RODEO DRIVE, BABY

Vivian, this is your big break. Take it and don’t look back. You’re not a lifer like the rest of us on the boulevard. You got potential!

You really think I got potential?

KIT

I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOU DESERVED THE BEST CAN’T WAIT TO SEE YOU IN A CLASSY DRESS

ENSEMBLE OOO…

VIVIAN

(KIT)

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT— DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS YOU KNOW YOU CAN’T GO WRONG

YOU DON’T BELONG ON THE BOULEVARD YOU’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE GIVE BEVERLY HILLS MY REGARDS

‘CAUSE THAT’S WHERE YOU BELONG—

YEAH WHERE YOU BELONG

THERE AIN’T MUCH THAT HE AIN’T GOT AND GIRL IF I WAS YOU I’D HAVE A BLAST, I’D GO FOR BROKE HEY, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU GONNA DO?

SO TAKE WHAT YOU CAN, HONEY

‘CAUSE YOU’RE GONNA WANT A LOT

THEY’RE GONNA THINK YOU’RE HOT, HOT, HOT…

RODEO DRIVE, BABY

RODEO DRIVE, BABY RODEO DRIVE

RODEO DRIVE

Let’s go, this is going to be fun.

OOO…

(ENSEMBLE)

HAH HAH HAH HAH (AH)

OOO…

AHH…

OOO… TAKE WHAT YOU CAN (AHH)

OOO… GONNA WANT A LOT (AHH)

GONNA THINK YOU’RE HOT, HOT, HOT…

BABY

RODEO DRIVE

KIT

VIVIAN

Wait, you’d better go pay the rent before the landlord changes the locks.

VIVIAN hands her the three hundred dollars. KIT sighs.

KIT

Okay. Okay.

Promise? No parties?

VIVIAN

KIT

I promise, I can be responsible! Ooh, I’m getting a chill being responsible.

KIT turns and exits. VIVIAN still feels out of place. She gathers up some courage and tentatively opens the door to a shop…

SNOBBY SHOP:

As VIVIAN enters, two saleswomen, AMANDA and ERICA look at her disapprovingly.

May I help you?

SALESWOMAN / AMANDA (E3)

I’m just checking things out.

VIVIAN

VIVIAN tries to ignore the stares and cautiously examines a dress.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

Are you looking for something in particular?

VIVIAN

No… well, yeah. I need some new clothes.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

Yes.

She says it condescending. VIVIAN gets the drift and toughens.

How much is this?

VIVIAN

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

I don’t think this would fit you.

VIVIAN

I didn’t ask if it would fit, I asked how much it was.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

How much is this, Amanda?

AMANDA folds her arms.

It’s very expensive.

SALESWOMAN / AMANDA (E3)

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

Very expensive.

VIVIAN

Look, I got money to spend in here.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

I don’t think we have anything for you. You’re obviously in the wrong place.

SALESWOMAN / AMANDA (E3) Obviously.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

Please leave.

VIVIAN, confused and upset, exits.

VIVIAN

I LOOK AROUND AND WHAT I SEE IS I DON’T BELONG HERE THIS ISN’T ME THIS IS NOT MY WORLD I KNOW WHERE I’D CHOOSE TO GO IF I COULD DISAPPEAR ANYWHERE BUT HERE

#7—Anywhere But Here (Reprise)

Vivian

BEVERLY WILSHIRE HOTEL:

VIVIAN returns to the hotel lobby, embarrassed and humiliated. MR. THOMPSON stops her.

Vivian?

VIVIAN looks startled.

MR. THOMPSON

… yes? How do you know my name?

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

I’m Mr. Thompson, the hotel manager. Come with me and we’ll have a little chat.

He takes VIVIAN gently but firmly by the elbow like a stern father and leads into his nearby office.

MR. THOMPSON’S OFFICE:

VIVIAN

Oh, man, I’m in trouble, ain’t I? You’re calling the cops?

MR. THOMPSON motions for her to sit in a leather chair.

Man, if you are calling the cops, yeah, call the cops. Tell ‘em I said hi. Story of my freak’n life. Some potential. I’m so stupid.

She starts to cry. MR. THOMPSON takes out his handkerchief and gives it to her. He goes to his desk and raises a note.

MR. THOMPSON

Mr. Edward Lewis, left a message with the concierge for a young lady named Vivian.

VIVIAN blows her nose into the handkerchief loudly. Who I assume is you.

VIVIAN nods and offers the handkerchief back. He shakes his head. He would like you to meet him in the hotel lobby at 7:15 sharp, dressed for dinner at the Voltaire.

VIVIAN

Oh. Thanks for the message…

She almost gets up.

I’m not finished.

She sits back down.

MR. THOMPSON

Miss Vivian, things that go on in other hotels don’t happen at the Beverly Wilshire. Mr. Lewis, however, is a very special guest, and we like to think of our special guests as family. Now, I’m assuming that you’re a… relative?

MR. THOMPSON nods and VIVIAN finds herself nodding with him.

… yes?

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

I thought so. Then you must be his… ?

… niece?

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

Of course. Naturally, when Mr. Lewis leaves, I won’t see you in this hotel again. I assume you have no other uncles here?

VIVIAN shakes her head “no.”

Good. Then we understand each other. In the meantime, please conduct yourself like a proper lady. And you’ll need to dress appropriately for the Voltaire tonight. That will be all.

VIVIAN

No, that’s not all! That’s what I was trying to do! I tried to go get a dress on Rodeo Drive and the women wouldn’t help me! I didn’t do anything wrong. I had money to pay!

She hands MR. THOMPSON the credit card. He sees Edward’s name.

Now I have no dress to wear…

He picks up the phone and dials.

MR. THOMPSON

Women’s clothing. Bridget, please. Yes, Bridget. This is Barnard Thompson here at the Beverly Wilshire. I have a special guest by the name of Vivian. She’s the niece of a very special guest.

VIVIAN brightens.

She needs a cocktail dress for the Voltaire tonight. Yes, the Voltaire. You know that black dress with the lace trimming by the lingerie section? Exactly, she’s a size… two.

VIVIAN

How’d you know that?

Matching shoes, size nine…

How’d you know that?

MR. THOMPSON

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

… accessories and a little black clutch.

How’d you… sounds cute!

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

Have Shannon meet us in the lobby to help with hair and makeup. Thank you…

MR. THOMPSON rises and leads VIVIAN as the set transforms into the hotel ballroom.

#8—On A Night Like Tonight

(MR. THOMPSON)

Mr. Thompson, Ensemble

Now, Miss Vivian, the Voltaire is our dinner dance club. So I’m assuming Mr. Lewis is expecting a nice evening of dancing. ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT JUST REMEMBER YOU’RE RIGHT WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE IN A DAZZLING DRESS I’M SURE YOU’LL IMPRESS THIS I GUARANTEE HE’S CERTAIN TO BE ENCHANTED BY THE MAGIC OF YOUR SMILE ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

As he sings they are joined by THE HOTEL STAFF.

MR. THOMPSON WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM HEADS WILL TURN, I PRESUME YOU’LL HAVE STYLE AND GRACE A TANGO FOR TWO, PICTURE HIM HOLDING YOU, IN A WARM EMBRACE

DANCING ON AIR WITHOUT A CARE TO YOUR HEART’S DELIGHT YOU’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT REMEMBER, BE TRUE TO YOURSELF IT’S EASY TO SEE

HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH THIS IS WHO YOU’RE MEANT TO BE

MMM MMM MMM MMM

MEN (E14, E8, E9, E11, E15)

MMM ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

BE TRUE TO YOURSELF

BUM… BUM… BUM… BUM… BUM…

AHH

(MR. THOMPSON)

WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM HEADS WILL TURN, I PRESUME YOU’LL HAVE STYLE AND GRACE A TANGO FOR TWO, PICTURE HIM HOLDING YOU, IN A WARM EMBRACE

DANCING ON AIR WITHOUT A CARE TO YOUR HEART’S DELIGHT YOU’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

MUSIC continues under.

(MEN [E14, E8, E9, E11, E15])

YOU’RE MEANT TO BE WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM, AHH

A TANGO FOR TWO, AHH DANCING ON AIR WITHOUT A CARE TO YOUR HEART’S DELIGHT OOO TONIGHT

MR. THOMPSON

You know how to dance, don’t you?

VIVIAN does some wild rock and roll moves. No, no, dear, it’s not that kind of place. It’s very elegant.

VIVIAN

I think I feel sick. I’m going to embarrass myself…

MR. THOMPSON

Don’t worry. Fortunately, I used to be a professional ballroom dancer.

VIVIAN

Really?

MR. THOMPSON

I still compete on occasion. I can show you a few pointers.

MR. THOMPSON takes VIVIAN’s hand and they dance.

LA-DA, DI-DA, DA-DA

ENSEMBLE

LA-DA, DI-DA, DA-DA—LA-DA, DI-DA, DA-DA LA-DI, DA-DA-DI, LA-DA, DI-DA!

MR. THOMPSON

REMEMBER BE TRUE TO YOURSELF IT’S EASY TO SEE HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH THIS IS WHO YOU’RE MEANT TO BE

AHH

ENSEMBLE

YOU’RE MEANT TO BE

MR. THOMPSON

Remember, you’re a real lady. VIVIAN nods in thanks and exits.

MR. THOMPSON

WHEN YOU WALK IN THE ROOM HEADS WILL TURN I PRESUME

YOU’LL HAVE STYLE AND GRACE

A TANGO FOR TWO PICTURE HIM HOLDING YOU IN A WARM EMBRACE

DANCING ON AIR WITHOUT A CARE TO YOUR HEARTS DELIGHT

YOU’LL BE UNSTOPPABLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT OH, TONIGHT!

MUSIC TRANSITIONS to…

ENSEMBLE

WALK IN THE ROOM HEADS WILL TURN I PRESUME

AHH

TANGO FOR TWO

HIM HOLDING YOU OOO

DANCING ON AIR WITHOUT A CARE TO YOUR HEARTS DELIGHT

ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

AHH

ANYTHING’S POSSIBLE ON A NIGHT LIKE TONIGHT

AHH

BEVERLY WILSHIRE HOTEL LOBBY:

EDWARD approaches MR. THOMPSON searching for VIVIAN.

MR. THOMPSON

Mr. Lewis, someone is waiting for you. A young lady.

MR. THOMPSON points to a woman with her back to us. VIVIAN turns around, completely transformed. She smiles.

You’re late.

You’re stunning.

You’re forgiven.

Shall we go to dinner?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

EDWARD holds out his arm and VIVIAN takes it in a ladylike fashion. Transition to:

#8A—The Voltaire

VOLTAIRE DINNER DANCE CLUB:

A bar lights up with ELEGANT people sipping cocktails. There is a lounge singer, SCARLETT. VIVIAN’S feet instinctively move to some of the steps she was just taught.

VIVIAN

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…

EDWARD

What are you doing?

VIVIAN

I’m practicing. I only had time to learn a few steps. I hope that will be enough for tonight.

EDWARD

Don’t worry about it.

EDWARD sees DAVID MORSE looking restless in the upbeat surroundings. David Morse.

DAVID (E12)

Yes, Mr. Lewis.

This is a friend of mine, Vivian Ward.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

So great to meet you.

She enthusiastically and nervously shakes their hands. A MAITRE’D approaches.

MAITRE’D (E10)

Mr. Lewis, your table will be ready in a moment.

The MAITRE’D exits. DAVID is surprised by VIVIAN’S glowing presence. VIVIAN looks over at EDWARD and whispers.

Are we going to dance now?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

No.

DAVID (E12)

I would have preferred to have met in a business setting. What I have to say might not be so polite.

EDWARD

Then I suggest you keep it polite since there is a lady present.

VIVIAN

Don’t mind me. Say whatever the hell you want!

EDWARD and DAVID look at her surprised. VIVIAN notices, lowers her voice and looks away. … or not.

EDWARD

Did you look at my buyout offer? This is an opportunity for you to cash out. You’ll make millions…

DAVID (E12)

I have enough money. This isn’t about me. I’m trying to save people’s jobs.

EDWARD

You won’t save jobs going bankrupt.

DAVID (E12)

I have a turnaround plan to retool for the construction of cruise ships.

VIVIAN

Build cruise ships? Like the Love Boat? That sounds like a helluva lotta fun.

DAVID (E12)

It is! It’s all outlined in this proposal.

Inspired by Vivian’s enthusiasm, DAVID excitedly pulls a proposal from his briefcase and hands it to VIVIAN. VIVIAN opens it.

VIVIAN

Look at these amazing pictures! Wow! Big ass boat!

Vivian hands it to Edward, who quickly realizes he has just gotten their only defense against his takeover plan.

Vivian, are you in business?

DAVID (E12)

EDWARD

She is in business, yes. How would you get the money to retool?

DAVID (E12)

Through a Federal grant. Senator Adams of Hawaii is supporting us to help promote tourism.

EDWARD

It won’t work. You can’t compete against foreign builders…

DAVID firmly takes back the proposal.

DAVID (E12)

I’m not interested in your opinion of what is possible. You haven’t built a single thing in your life. You’re a scrap dealer. I know all about what you did to your own father’s company…

EDWARD

Why don’t we leave my father out of this?

DAVID (E12)

Fine. I didn’t come here to negotiate. I came to inform you that your takeover bid will fail.

EDWARD

That all depends on the board vote.

VIVIAN

Are we going to dance before or after dinner? Because I’m worried about forgetting the steps.

DAVID (E12)

Ms. Ward, if you don’t mind, I would be honored to dance with you. It has become clear that anything else tonight will be a waste of time.

DAVID sets down the proposal and offers his hand to VIVIAN. VIVIAN looks at EDWARD, unsure.

I have no objections.

EDWARD

DAVID turns out to be a good dancer and VIVIAN gracefully follows his lead.

#9—Don’t Forget to Dance Ensemble, Happy Man

SCARLETT (E1)

THE WORLD MAY BE YOUR OYSTER THE BEST THINGS MIGHT BE FREE BUT THE VIEW FROM THE TOP AIN’T WHAT IT’S ALL CRACKED UP TO BE IT STARTED WITH A GLANCE YEAH, DON’T FORGET TO DANCE

SCARLETT (E1) & HAPPY MAN

I SEE HOW MUCH YOU CARE AND I HOPE THAT YOU WILL FIND A CURE FOR EV’RY PROBLEM THAT LIFE POSES

SCARLETT (E1)

SO TAKE SOME TIME FOR YOU THINGS WILL WORK OUT IN THE END

HAPPY MAN

ZIP DEE DOO DAY DOO WAH OH…

SCARLETT (E1) & HAPPY MAN

‘CAUSE EV’RY NOW AND THEN YOU GOTTA STOP AND SMELL THE ROSES

SCARLETT

YEAH!

BIG DANCE BREAK. EDWARD checks through the proposal. MUSIC swings as VIVIAN cuts loose. She is the life of the party, earning the applause of everyone.

SCARLETT (E1) & HAPPY MAN WHEN LIFE DELIVERS LEMONS,

MAKE SOME LEMONADE

THEN TAKE AN INVENTORY OF ALL THE PROMISES YOU MADE

ENSEMBLE

WHEN LIFE DELIVERS LEMONS

MAKE SOME LEMONADE

PROMISES YOU MADE

SCARLETT

NO MATTER WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE WHAT YOUR CIRCUMSTANCE

SCARLETT (E1) & HAPPY MAN

DON’T FORGET TO DANCE

ENSEMBLE

DON’T FORGET TO DANCE

DON’T FORGET TO DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE

DON’T FORGET TO DANCE

EDWARD dances with VIVIAN. DANCE ENDS. The restaurant disappears.

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

EDWARD and VIVIAN are back in the penthouse. EDWARD has DAVID’S proposal.

You are a very odd girl.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

I know. That was so much fun! You’re a good dancer.

EDWARD

I haven’t danced since prep school.

VIVIAN goes out onto balcony.

VIVIAN

Wow, this room really is up high.

VIVIAN leans over the balcony railing. EDWARD looks uncomfortable.

EDWARD

Vivian, get back in here. You’re making me nervous.

VIVIAN

Oh right, you’re afraid of heights. If I slipped, would you try to rescue me? Oops, I’m slipping. I’m falling!

She waves her hands, teasing. EDWARD takes a step forward.

Vivian, I’m serious! Vivian!

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Okay, alright. I’m sorry.

She returns inside.

What did you think about David’s Love Boat plan to save the shipyard?

EDWARD

I’ll need to sabotage it.

VIVIAN

You’re not even going to read it? You aren’t worried about all those workers losing their jobs?

EDWARD

I don’t let myself become emotionally involved in business.

VIVIAN

I know, right? Kit’s always saying to me, “Don’t get emotional when you turn tricks.” That’s why no kissing on the mouth. It’s too personal. When I’m with a guy, I’m like a robot. I just do it… I mean, except with you.

EDWARD smiles.

Of course. Except with me.

VIVIAN helps him off with his jacket.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

David told me your father passed away recently.

EDWARD

A month ago.

I’m sorry, that must be hard.

EDWARD takes off his tie.

What else did he tell you?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

He said you bought your father’s company and shut it down. The same way you’re planning to shut down the shipyard.

EDWARD

My father’s company was failing. I did him a favor. “It’s pointless to squander assets in a failing enterprise.” That’s the one thing I learned from him before he sent me away to boarding school. His “gift” to me after my mother died.

VIVIAN

(sensing his discomfort)

Do you wanna talk about this?

Not particularly.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

We don’t have to talk at all. You know “dancing” is just a vertical expression of a horizontal desire legalized by music.

EDWARD

George Bernard Shaw.

VIVIAN

No. A customer said that to me once.

EDWARD laughs. VIVIAN heads off to change into “something more comfortable.”

MUSIC IN.

#10—Freedom

Edward

EDWARD

WHAT A STRANGE NIGHT—AND YET IT FEELS RIGHT HOW WAS I TO KNOW SHE COULD SHOW ME WHO I COULD REALLY BE? I CAN’T KEEP HOLDING ON I GOTTA LET IT GO

WAS THAT FREEDOM—FREEDOM? WHEN WE WERE DANCING ON THE FLOOR I FELT FREEDOM—SWEET FREEDOM LIKE I’VE NEVER FELT BEFORE AND I KNOW THAT I NEED MORE

MEETING BIG WHEELS—MAKIN’ BIG DEALS IT’S ALL I’VE EVER KNOWN IN THE BOARDROOM WITH A SILVER SPOON I’VE GOT EV’RYTHING I NEED— BUT SOMEHOW I’M STILL ALONE

GIVE ME FREEDOM—FREEDOM IT CAN ALL BE REARRANGED

(EDWARD)

I NEED FREEDOM—SWEET FREEDOM AND I KNOW IT MIGHT SOUND STRANGE BUT I BELIEVE THAT I CAN CHANGE

AND WHEN I LOOK INTO THE FUTURE I CAN SEE ANOTHER ME—AND I’M FREE I’VE GOT AN UNFAMILIAR FEELING NOW AND IT’S FLOWING OVER ME

SHOULD I COME CLEAN?—WHAT I REALLY MEAN IS I THINK I NEED TO MAKE THINGS RIGHT TOOK SOME WRONG TURNS BUT I CAN STILL LEARN IF I TRY A NEW DIRECTION

I HAVE A FEELING I JUST MIGHT VIVIAN, wearing one of EDWARD’S shirts, comes out of the bedroom and watches from across the room.

FIND SOME FREEDOM—FREEDOM IF I COULD DO IT ALL AGAIN I’D WANT FREEDOM—SWEET FREEDOM

AND I KNOW IT MIGHT SOUND STRANGE I BELIEVE THAT I CAN CHANGE I BELIEVE THAT I CAN…

The song finishes with VIVIAN standing beside EDWARD.

He takes her hand and pulls her closer to him, making the piano keys sound. He tenderly buries his head in her stomach. He picks her up and sets her down on top of the piano, again making the piano keys strike. He tries to kiss her but she won’t let him. They make love, the piano keys striking as the lights fade.

#10B—Lay Off My Roommate

RACHEL is on the LANDLORD’s arm. KIT hands him three hundred dollars.

KIT

I got it! I got it! There’s the rent! Count it! Three hundred.

The LANDLORD nods.

LANDLORD (E10)

By the way, next week the rent is going up to three fifty.

KIT

What? For this rat hole?

Market rate.

LANDLORD (E10)

Oh, I forgot. It’s a dollar per cockroach!

KIT

LANDLORD (E10) (Sarcastic) Ha-ha.

RACHEL (E4)

Kit, where’s Vivian? Is she okay?

KIT

She’s fine, Rachel. She’s on a paid sabbatical.

KIT heads off. As RACHEL exits with the LANDLORD in the other direction…

RACHEL (E4)

I didn’t know she was Jewish.

Transition to…

STUCKEY chuckles as he looks over a copy of David’s proposal.

STUCKEY

Fred! Come look at this! Old Man Morse’s desperate plan to save his pathetic company!

FRED (E8)

Wow! Where did we steal it from?

STUCKEY

That is the genius of Edward Lewis! Walk with me… He leads him off and transition to…

HOTEL LOBBY:

GIULIO is touching up the floor with a dust mop. Seeing that no one is looking, he starts to practice his dance moves with the mop as his partner. MR. THOMPSON appears. GIULIO freezes, and winces sheepishly. MR. THOMPSON takes the mop and tosses it offstage. He grabs GIULIO and they dance together. As they spin into a big dip, EDWARD enters with Vivian following.

EDWARD

Giulio!

EDWARD briskly hands business documents to GIULIO.

Courier to Century City. Fedex to New York. DHL to Tokyo. Bring my briefcase and call the limo. Quickly.

GIULIO (E14)

Yes, sir!

GIULIO rushes off.

VIVIAN

So what are we going to do today? We don’t have to go anywhere expensive. We could walk barefoot in the grass, read Shakespeare’s sonnets, or just veg out like broccoli and watch bad TV…

EDWARD

Read poetry? Walk barefoot through the grass? Vivian, I hired you so I could focus on my work. I’m going to the office.

VIVIAN

Oh, right. You’re in the business of business.

She pouts. EDWARD folds his hands.

EDWARD

Why don’t you go shopping on Rodeo Drive? You only bought one outfit and I have other business functions to take you to.

VIVIAN

I don’t want to go back there. They were mean to me.

MUSIC out.

EDWARD

“Mean” to you? Who was mean to you?

VIVIAN

The stores are not nice to people!

MUSIC in.

EDWARD

Stores are never nice to people. They’re nice to credit cards.

GIULIO (E14)

Your limo is waiting, sir!

EDWARD

Cancel it and meet us in the lobby. We’re going shopping.

EDWARD heads off with VIVIAN. GIULIO grins. EDWARD sings. YOU CAN DO THIS—

No, no, I can’t.

Yes, now.

VIVIAN

EDWARD

I’LL SHOW YOU HOW IT DOESN’T MATTER IF THEY WERE MEAN TO YOU— WE’LL GO TOGETHER…

VIVIAN WE’RE GOING NOW?

EDWARD

VIVIAN BUT I’M AFRAID

EDWARD

No need to be afraid.

#11—You’re Beautiful Edward, Vivian, Hollister, Ensemble

VIVIAN

CAN’T YOU SEE IT IN MY FACE

EDWARD

This is something you must face. WITH CONFIDENCE AND ATTITUDE YOU CAN WALK INTO ANY ROOM— JUST LIKE YOU OWN THE PLACE AND YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL YOU’VE GOT STYLE AND GRACE THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SMILE THAT SAYS YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY

AND YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL ANYONE CAN SEE IF YOU WERE MEANT TO BE ANYWHERE THIS IS WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

UPSCALE BOUTIQUE:

They enter a new upscale boutique.

I’d like to speak to the manager.

EDWARD

The HAPPY MAN, now dressed as HOLLISTER, turns around.

HAPPY MAN / HOLLISTER

I’m the manager, Mr. Hollister. How may I help you?

EDWARD shakes his hand.

EDWARD

Edward Lewis. You see this lovely young lady?

HOLLISTER

Ah, yes sir.

EDWARD

Do you have anything in this shop as beautiful as she is?

HOLLISTER

Oh, yes. Oh, no! No, no. I’m saying we have many things as beautiful as she would want them to be.

EDWARD

Hollister, we’re going to need a lot of people helping us out. And I’ll tell you why. Because we are going to be spending an obscene amount of money in here. So we need major sucking up, because that’s what we like.

HOLLISTER

Well, sir, if I may say so, you’re in the right store for sucking up, and the right city, for that matter.

HOLLISTER calls out to the staff who rush over.

Mary Pat, Mary Kate, Mary Francis! Quickly! We have an important client to suck up to here!

MUSIC KICKS UP. The SALESWOMEN surround VIVIAN, cheerfully singing.

MARY PAT (E2) YOU GOT THAT LOOK

HOLLISTER & ENSEMBLE

YOU GOT THAT LOOK

MARY PAT (E2)

IT REALLY SHOWS

HOLLISTER & ENSEMBLE

IT REALLY SHOWS

MARY PAT (E2)

I CAN SEE YOU WALK DOWN RODEO DRIVE TURNING HEADS

EV’RYWHERE YOU GO NO LOOKING BACK

NOW YOU’VE ARRIVED

IT’S TIME TO SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE AND NO ONE’S GONNA STOP YOU NOW SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

VIVIAN changes into a beautiful new outfit.

HOLLISTER & ENSEMBLE

TURNING HEADS

EV’RYWHERE YOU GO (AHH… ) NO LOOKING BACK NOW (AHH… )

YEAH, YOU’VE ARRIVED (AHH… ) IT’S TIME TO SHOW THEM WHO YOU ARE AND NO ONE’S GONNA STOP YOU NOW SO HOLD YOUR HEAD UP HIGH

EDWARD

THE WAY SHE WALKS, THE WAY SHE SMILES

ENSEMBLE (E8, E11, E13, & E14) THE WAY SHE SMILES

EDWARD

SHE’S GOT THE LOOK, SHE’S GOT THE STYLE

SALESWOMEN (E2, E5, & E6) GOT THE STYLE

EDWARD & MEN (E8, E11, E13, & E14) THIS IS HER MOMENT

EDWARD

LET EV’RYONE KNOW!

EDWARD

I’M LIKING WHAT I SEE

I’M STARTING TO BELIEVE IN HER AND ME

ENSEMBLE

LET ‘EM KNOW! LET ‘EM KNOW!

SHE’S GOT THE GRACE

SHE’S GOT THE GROOVE

THERE’S MAGIC IN THE WAY SHE MOVES

ENSEMBLE

SHE CAN TAKE IT WITH HER WHEREVER SHE GOES WHERE SHE GOES WHERE SHE GOES YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

MUSIC LOWERS TO UNDERSCORE as VIVIAN and EDWARD approach the snobby shop she was rejected at.

VIVIAN

Hang on, there’s something I have to do.

VIVIAN takes a handful of bags and heads into the shop. AMANDA greets her with a big smile.

Hello. May I help you?

SALESWOMAN / AMANDA (E3)

VIVIAN

No, thank you…

VIVIAN heads for ERICA. Hi, do you remember me?

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

No, I’m sorry.

VIVIAN

I was in here yesterday, you wouldn’t wait on me.

Oh.

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

VIVIAN

You work on commission, right?

SALESWOMAN / ERICA (E1)

Uh, yes.

VIVIAN

Big mistake. Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now! MUSIC EXPLODES. VIVIAN leads the growing crowd away in victory. They return to the hotel lobby. SINGING BELLHOPS carry packages and shopping bags.

VIVIAN

I FEEL A CHANGE!

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS! AND I FEEL ALIVE!

EDWARD

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL YOU’VE GOT STYLE AND GRACE THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT THIS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS GIRL!

MORE THAN BEAUTIFUL

I’M LEAVIN’ MY OLD LIFE BEHIND I MADE THE DEAL THAT GOT ME HERE

I NEVER THOUGHT THIS COULD HAPPEN TO ME

IT’S NOT THE CLOTHES IT’S WHAT’S INSIDE

IF YOU WERE MEANT TO BE ANYWHERE, THIS IS WHERE YOU’RE MEANT TO BE

ENSEMBLE

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL YOU’VE GOT STYLE AND GRACE THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR SMILE THAT SAYS YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL ANYONE CAN SEE OOO… OOO…

BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL

BEAUTIFUL

(VIVIAN)

FOR THE FIRST TIME

I CAN SEE

I’M ON MY WAY

(EDWARD)

BEAUTIFUL AHH…

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

(ENSEMBLE)

BEAUTIFUL AHH… AHH…

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

VIVIAN is stunning, confident and, for now, triumphant. CURTAIN.

INTERMISSION

ACT II

SIX STRING sneaks out to center stage with his guitar and a big smile. He starts playing the famous opening riff from “OH, PRETTY WOMAN.” As he rocks out, he starts to sing, a little off-key:

#12—Opening of Act II Happy Man

SIX STRING (E13) PRETTY WOMAN, WALKING DOWN THE…

The HAPPY MAN rushes out, waving his hands and cutting him off.

HAPPY MAN

(Off audience reaction.) I told you I could play a bad guy.

The HAPPY MAN pushes SIX STRING offstage. No! No! Not yet. Not yet.

SIX STRING (E13) When?!

HAPPY MAN Later.

SIX STRING (E13) When?

HAPPY MAN Later. I promise. Hit it!

SIX STRING exits. WELCOME BACK! ARE YOU READY TO CONTINUE? Alright!

LIKE A WISH COME TRUE I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU! MAY I SUGGEST YOU KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE POLKA DOT DRESS? AND JUST FOR YOU THIS ONE IS BLUE— Welcome to the Beverly Hills Polo Classic.

AIR HORN.

Reveal RICH POLO SPECTATORS attending a Polo match, a long table with champagne service and a banner reading “Beverly Hills Polo Club: Platinum sponsor, Edward Lewis Enterprises.” VIVIAN, in a lovely outfit, enters with EDWARD. SUSAN spots EDWARD and approaches with her husband DIGBY.

SUSAN (E3)

Edward! Edward, you remember my husband, Digby, from Princeton.

EDWARD

Of course. Congratulations, Digby. Susan. This is Vivian Ward.

VIVIAN

Nice to meet you.

SUSAN (E3)

Always a pleasure to meet one of Edward’s girls.

DIGBY (E11)

Ward? Boston Ward or Palm Beach Ward?

VIVIAN

Milledgeville, Georgia Ward. We’re the toast of the park. The trailer park.

SUSAN and DIGBY rush off in horror. GWEN and GRETCHEN approach.

Edward!

GWEN (E2)

EDWARD

This is Gwen and Gretchen, the infamous Olson sisters. They made marrying well an art form.

GRETCHEN (E1)

Edward.

RICH PEOPLE E10 / E5 (ONE MAN / ONE WOMAN)

Edward!

EDWARD steps away to greet them. GWEN pulls VIVIAN aside.

So, you’re the flavor of the week.

GWEN (E2)

GRETCHEN (E1)

Don’t mind her, she’s just being catty. Edward’s our most eligible bachelor. Everybody is trying to land him.

VIVIAN

Well, I’m not trying to land him, I’m just using him for sex.

VIVIAN walks away, leaving the sisters speechless. She rejoins EDWARD. STUCKEY appears.

STUCKEY

Edward! Edward! There you are!

EDWARD

Philip Stuckey, this is Vivian Ward.

STUCKEY

So is this the charming woman you took to the dinner with Morse?

(Off EDWARD’S nod.)

I’ve been dying to meet you, Vivian.

(To Edward)

Edward, did you know that the honorable Senator Adams is in attendance?

EDWARD

I invited him.

STUCKEY

Perhaps I should go remind him about your latest campaign contributions?

EDWARD

Yes. And see if it’s a good time for me to talk to him about the grant.

STUCKEY

At your command, fearless leader!

STUCKEY nods and heads off.

Real genuine guy. Who is he?

He’s my lawyer. He’s alright.

These people are your friends?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

EDWARD

I spend time with them, yeah.

Well, no wonder.

No wonder what?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

VIVIAN

No wonder why you came looking for me.

STUCKEY

Edward!

STUCKEY, who is standing with the HAPPY MAN (now dressed as SENATOR ADAMS) waves.

EDWARD

That’s the Senator. I need to talk to him privately. Could you…

VIVIAN

Mingle. If you don’t mingle, you stay single.

EDWARD nods and heads off. DAVID approaches VIVIAN in a polo outfit.

DAVID (E12) Vivian!

VIVIAN

David!

What are you doing here?

DAVID (E12)

VIVIAN

I have no idea. But I think I can guess what you’re doing here.

DAVID (E12)

Are you a member of the club?

VIVIAN

No. I would never belong to a club that would take me as a member. DAVID laughs. Across the way, STUCKEY notices them talking as EDWARD finishes with SENATOR ADAMS. They shake hands.

EDWARD

It’s pointless to squander assets in a failing enterprise. A government grant would be a waste of taxpayer funds.

SENATOR ADAMS (E9)

I couldn’t agree with you more.

EDWARD

Thank you for listening, Senator Adams.

SENATOR ADAMS (E9)

Thank you for all your support over the years.

SENATOR ADAMS leaves and STUCKEY turns to EDWARD.

STUCKEY

Well played. So, Edward, this “Vivian Ward.” What does she do? Is she a lawyer, an investment broker?

EDWARD

Why do you want to know?

STUCKEY

Edward, a beautiful woman suddenly appears on your arm and you don’t want to talk about it? I’ve known you a long time. I see a lot of changes in you this week and I’m wondering if this young lady has something to do with it. (Beat)

(STUCKEY)

Especially when I see her talking to David Morse.

EDWARD

They met at dinner the other night.

STUCKEY

So now they’re best friends? Look at the body language. A little too comfortable together. She attached herself to you just before we closed our deal? I’ll run a background check on her.

EDWARD does notice, a tad jealous.

Leave it alone.

EDWARD

STUCKEY

How do you know she isn’t working for Morse?

EDWARD

I know, Phil. Leave her alone.

STUCKEY

Edward, don’t be naive. It happens all the time. Industrial espionage.

EDWARD

Phil, she is not a spy. She is a… hooker.

(Off STUCKEY’S disbelief)

I picked her up in your car on Hollywood Boulevard.

STUCKEY

Oh… you are… oh, man.

(Starts laughing)

I know you like deals, but you’re the only billionaire I know who goes looking for a bargain basement streetwalker.

SENATOR ADAMS (E9) Edward!

(to Stuckey)

I’m sorry I told you.

STUCKEY sneaks off to VIVIAN.

I’m back. Having a nice time, Vivian?

EDWARD

STUCKEY

STUCKEY smiles and checks VIVIAN out, top to bottom. VIVIAN notices, uncomfortable.

This all must be quite a change from Hollywood Boulevard, hmm?

VIVIAN looks as if she’s been struck.

What?

STUCKEY

Yeah, Edward told me. He tells me everything. But don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.

(Beat.)

It’s ironic. You know what ironic means?

VIVIAN

Yes. I know what ironic means.

STUCKEY

It’s ironic because you both screw people for money. He laughs but she doesn’t smile.

Sorry, bad joke. But I do have to thank you for that job you did on Morse over dinner. He really dropped his pants for us. We should talk after Edward is finished with you. There is some very lucrative work I could arrange for a business-minded girl like you.

WELCOME

WELCOME TO OUR WORLD

VIVIAN

STUCKEY wanders off. EDWARD, still talking to the SENATOR, waves at her and smiles. VIVIAN doesn’t smile back. She EXITS. Transition to…

HOTEL HALLWAY:

VIVIAN enters clearly upset. EDWARD follows.

EDWARD

Are you alright?

VIVIAN

I’m fine.

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

EDWARD

Fine. Seven “fines” since we left the match. Could I have another word, please?

VIVIAN

Asshole. There’s a word.

VIVIAN spins on him.

You know what? Just tell me one thing. Why did you make me get all dressed up? I mean if you were gonna tell everybody, why didn’t you just let me wear my own clothes?

EDWARD

Tell everyone what?

VIVIAN

Why take me to a place like that where I have to pretend I’m somebody I’m not? In my own clothes, when someone like that guy Stuckey comes up to me, I’m prepared. And I think what you’re doing to Mr. Morse stinks!

EDWARD

What exactly did Stuckey say to you?

VIVIAN paces around the penthouse.

VIVIAN

You told him I was a hooker. He said he might have more “work” for me when you’re done.

EDWARD

That was very inappropriate of him…

What about you! Why did you tell him?

VIVIAN

EDWARD

It was a mistake.

VIVIAN

What are you my pimp now? You want to pass me around to your friends? I’m not your toy.

EDWARD

You’re not my toy. I know you’re not my toy.

VIVIAN

I’m sorry I ever met you. I’m sorry I ever drove your stupid car!

EDWARD

As if you had more appealing options. Look, I’m very sorry about what happened. But, while I hate to point out the obvious, you are, in fact, a… professional.

VIVIAN

I know what I am! I just got a little confused about who you were! You don’t own me! I decide! I say who, I say when, I say… who!

EDWARD

I’ve never treated you like a prostitute.

You just did!

VIVIAN

EDWARD

I said I was sorry and I mean it. But I refuse to spend the next three days fighting with you! We have to move on.

VIVIAN gathers up some clothes and her old purse.

VIVIAN

I agree. I want my money. I want to get out of here.

She stands at the bed. He takes a deep sigh and pulls out his wallet. Without looking at her, he removes a stack of hundreds and lays it down on the desk. He then exits.

VIVIAN looks at the money, deciding she doesn’t want to touch it. She exits. The set transitions to…

#12B—I Want to Get Out of Here

HOTEL HALLWAY:

GIULIO enters carrying a broken vase and flowers. MR. THOMPSON follows.

I didn’t do it, sir.

GIULIO (E14)

MR. THOMPSON

I didn’t say you did. But you need to show initiative.

GIULIO spills some pieces of the vase and the flowers. MR. THOMPSON picks up the flowers.

Put these in water. I’ll make sure no one steps in this.

GIULIO (E14)

Yes, sir.

GIULIO nods, takes the flowers and exits. At that moment VIVIAN comes rushing down the hall, almost running into MR. THOMPSON.

MR. THOMPSON

Miss Vivian, be careful. You might get hurt.

VIVIAN stops dead and looks at him. How does he know?

What?

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

There’s some broken ceramic on the floor. I’m going to… is everything alright? Is there something I can do for you?

VIVIAN tip-toes past the broken vase. EDWARD appears and hurries after her.

EDWARD

Vivian! Please let’s talk about this.

EDWARD notices MR. THOMPSON standing nearby.

VIVIAN

This is Mr. Thompson, the hotel manager.

EDWARD

I know Mr. Thompson.

Mr. Lewis.

What did you want to talk about?

MR. THOMPSON

VIVIAN

EDWARD

Let’s go back to the room.

VIVIAN

I’d rather talk here. What do you have to say?

MR. THOMPSON looks at EDWARD with folded arms. EDWARD gets that she is not going to make this easy.

EDWARD

I’m very sorry. I don’t want you to go. Please give me another chance.

VIVIAN

Why?

EDWARD

I… when I saw you talking to David today, I was… jealous.

VIVIAN

You hurt me.

Yes.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Don’t do it again.

EDWARD nods. MR. THOMPSON gives him a “you’d better mean it” look. VIVIAN heads back to the penthouse and a humbled EDWARD follows.

Set transitions to…

#13—This Is My LIfe

EDWARD

Vivian, Kit, Ensemble

I do apologize. I wasn’t prepared to talk about us or you or this. I’ve never been much good at this.

VIVIAN

I haven’t had much luck with it either.

EDWARD

Vivian, you’re so smart. You have so many special gifts. How did you end up on Hollywood Boulevard?

VIVIAN

We were pretty poor. Never seemed like I had good options. Not that I didn’t do a lot of stupid stuff that made it worse. My mom called me a bum magnet.

THE FIRST GUY I LOVED WAS A LOSER THE SECOND GUY WAS EVEN WORSE IF THERE WAS A BUM WITHIN FIFTY MILES I WAS DRAWN TO HIM LIKE A CURSE

I FOLLOWED BUM NUMBER THREE TO L.A. HE LEFT ME THERE ON MY OWN SO THERE I WAS—NO FRIENDS, NO MONEY TOO ASHAMED TO GO HOME THIS IS MY LIFE TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE

I WORKED AT A COUPLE OF FAST FOOD JOINTS I PARKED CARS, DID WHATEVER I COULD THAT’S WHEN I MET KIT SHE WORKED THE STREET SHE MADE IT SOUND SO GOOD

SO ONE DAY I DID IT I CRIED THE WHOLE TIME I WAS COMING APART AT THE SEAMS

(VIVIAN)

IT’S NOT LIKE ANYBODY PLANS IT—NO IT WASN’T MY CHILDHOOD DREAM THIS IS MY LIFE TAKE A LOOK AT MY LIFE EDWARD holds her gently.

People kept telling me I was nothing, over and over… AIN’T IT FUNNY HOW THE BAD STUFF IS SO EASY TO BELIEVE YOU KNOW IT WEARS YOU DOWN AND SOME DAYS IT REALLY HURTS IF YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW ME MY HEART’S HERE ON MY SLEEVE

I’M SO TIRED OF LETTIN’ EV’RYBODY ELSE BUT ME DEFINE A WOMAN’S WORTH

THIS IS MY LIFE

VIVIAN

THE STORY OF MY LIFE

Set transitions to…

ENSEMBLE OOO… OOO… OOO…

HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD:

KIT sits depressed on the bus bench. The HAPPY MAN enters.

THIS IS MY LIFE

KIT

Why the long face?

OOO…

ENSEMBLE

OOO… OOO… OOO…

HAPPY MAN

ENSEMBLE

KIT

My best friend is gone and probably never coming back. At least I hope she never has to. And I’m stuck on this dead end street for the rest of my life.

HAPPY MAN hands KIT a map.

Well, what’s your dream?

I don’t have a dream.

A BEAT kicks in.

#14—Never Give Up On A Dream

HAPPY MAN

KIT

WHOA

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE

HAPPY MAN

That’s your problem. Everyone needs a dream.

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE

WHOA

Even a guy like me…

MUSIC rises. HAPPY MAN sings.

HAPPY MAN

Happy Man, Ensemble, Kit

(HAPPY MAN)

I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A SINGER

PEOPLE TOLD ME I WAS A DEAD RINGER FOR MARVIN GAYE AND ONE OF THESE DAYS

I’D BE SINGING AT THE HOLLYWOOD BOWL

WELL, ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER IT WAS A FULL TIME JOB JUST TRYIN’ TO COVER MY ASSETS I HAD SOME BAD DEBTS

YA KNOW THE BOULEVARD TOOK ITS TOLL

BUT I’VE STILL GOT SOME FIRE IN MY BELLY STAND BACK—AND DON’T TRY TO TELL ME IT CAN’T BE DONE

‘CAUSE SON OF A GUN

NEVER GIVE UP

HAPPY MAN & 2 MEN (E9 & E15)

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

ENSEMBLE

WHOA

MUSIC CONTINUES under dialogue.

KIT

What’s the point in having a dream if they never come true!

ENSEMBLE

WHOA

HAPPY MAN

Sometimes they do. And even when they don’t, they might lead you to something even better. A dream is like a map for your life. Tell us your dream, Tourist lady!

TOURIST (E1)

I want to be a big movie star!

HAPPY MAN Cowboy?

RHINESTONE

I want to marry Dolly Parton!

She’s already married!

I can dream, can’t I?

COWBOY (E9)

HAPPY MAN

RHINESTONE

COWBOY (E9)

HAPPY MAN

That’s the spirit! Kit, didn’t you have a dream when you were a kid? Didn’t ya?

KIT

Well… when I was growing up I was around a lot of police officers.

HAPPY MAN

Your dad was in law enforcement?

KIT

No. He was a bank robber. But the arresting officers looked after me and they were pretty cool.

She sings.

I HAD A DREAM, BELIEVE IT OR NOT I WANTED TO BE A COP WALK THE BEAT AND KEEP THE STREET SAFE FOR EV’RYONE BUT MY DREAM WENT LEFT AND I WENT RIGHT NEXT THING YOU KNOW I’M WORKING AT NIGHT WEARING SIX-INCH HEELS INSTEAD OF A BADGE AND A GUN

HAPPY MAN BUT YOU STILL GOT SOME CARDS ON THE TABLE I SWEAR, AS LONG AS YOU’RE ABLE TO DRAW A BREATH JUST DO YOUR BEST

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM GOTTA KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE

HAPPY MAN

THAT BRASS RING LOOKS JUST YOUR SIZE

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE

NO EXCUSE NO ALIBIS

NEVER GIVE UP

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

STREET PEOPLE gather around as KIT and HAPPY MAN start into a rap.

HAPPY MAN

INVITE THE DREAM YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN YOU GOT TO SEIZE THE OPPORTUNITY AND GO TO EXTREMES

FIND YOUR DANCE NOW AND TAKE A STANCE NOW AND EMPOWER THE HOUR OF CHANCE NOW

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE SO GO CHASE IT

HAPPY MAN

DON’T YA WASTE IT THERE’S A PIE IN THE SKY

I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT

KIT

HAPPY MAN

NEVER GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS Dance break.

DON’T FIGHT THE DREAM, INVITE THE DREAM

HAPPY MAN & 2 MEN (E15 & E16)

DON’T FIGHT THE DREAM, INVITE THE DREAM

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE (E6, E7, E15, E16)

DON’T FIGHT THE DREAM, INVITE THE DREAM

HAPPY MAN

FREEZE!

Anything? KIT NO! WHOA!

HAPPY MAN shrinks behind bench.

HAPPY MAN

I think there’s something down there. It’s a dream! Dance break.

LISTEN TO YOUR HEART GIRL

HAPPY MAN & MEN OH, OH, OH, OH

HAPPY MAN, KIT, & ENSEMBLE OH, OH, OH, OH OH, OH, OH, OH

ENSEMBLE

AHH…

I’M NOT GIVING UP!

KIT

ENSEMBLE HEY!

KIT & HAPPY MAN

YOU’RE NOT GIVING UP!

The STREET PEOPLE join in the SONG and dance.

KIT, HAPPY MAN, & ENSEMBLE

WE’RE NEVER GIVING UP! HEY! NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM! WOO!

KIT

I’VE STILL GOT SOME FIRE IN MY BELLY STAND BACK AND DON’T TRY TO TELL ME IT CAN’T BE DONE ‘CAUSE SON OF A GUN

ENSEMBLE WHOA WHOA

KIT, HAPPY MAN, & ENSEMBLE

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

(HAPPY MAN & KIT)

KICK ME OUT IN THE COLD

I’LL MAKE IT

SQUEEZE ME INTO A MOLD

I’LL BREAK IT

IF THERE’S A FORK IN THE ROAD

I’LL TAKE IT

NEVER GIVE UP

NEVER GIVE UP—NEVER

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

WHOA

(ENSEMBLE)

WHOA

NEVER GIVE UP

NEVER GIVE UP—NEVER

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

WHOA

NEVER GIVE UP ON A DREAM

SONG ENDS. Lights fade and Hollywood Boulevard disappears into limbo…

A NIGHT AT THE OPERA:

#15—A Night at the Opera Opera Singers (Alfredo,

An instrumental from LA TRAVIATA begins. Lights come up on EDWARD, wearing a tux without the jacket, happily tinkling on the keys of the lobby piano. VIVIAN, heard but not seen, dressing offstage.

VIVIAN (O.S.)

I can’t believe you’re taking a whole day off work.

EDWARD

I needed to do something to make it up to you. It’s the opening night of La Traviata. We’ll be able to dance again at the gala afterwards.

VIVIAN (O.S.)

If the opera is in Italian, how am I going to know what they’re saying?

EDWARD

You’ll be surprised at how much you’ll understand. People have dramatic reactions to seeing opera for the first time. If they hate it, they might learn to appreciate it, but it will never become part of their soul. For some, it’s true love at first sight.

He turns as VIVIAN steps out. She is dressed in a stunning red gown and white gloves and looks radiant.

VIVIAN

Do I look okay?

EDWARD stands and puts on his jacket.

Lovely. But something’s missing.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

Well, nothin’ else is gonna fit into this dress, I’ll tell you that.

EDWARD takes a small jewelry case from his jacket.

EDWARD

Maybe something in this box. Don’t get too excited. It’s only on loan.

Violetta)

He opens the box, revealing a gorgeous necklace. VIVIAN delicately touches it.

EDWARD jokingly snaps the case on her fingers. She shrieks and laughs.

(EDWARD)

Here, let me help you put it on.

EDWARD takes the necklace and gracefully steps behind her and fastens it.

VIVIAN

If I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight.

EDWARD

Thank you.

VIVIAN looks down into the (actual) orchestra pit as they head for their luxury box.

VIVIAN

There’s a band!

They are handed programs.

USHER (E9)

Your box is ready, Mr. Lewis. They enter the box and take their seats.

VIVIAN

Wow! These seats are so amazing. You gotta come see this.

EDWARD

I’ve already seen it.

VIVIAN

If you’re afraid of heights why get seats up so high?

EDWARD

Because they’re the best.

EDWARD hands VIVIAN opera glasses but she can’t get them to work.

VIVIAN

These are broken. Mine are broken.

EDWARD helps her. MUSIC SWELLS.

The opera plays out before them in a blue glow. ALFREDO sings a charming toast as he meets VIOLETTA.

ALFREDO (E8)

LIBIAMO, LIBIAMO NE’LIETI CALICI

CHE LA BELLIZZA INFIORA

E LA FUGGEVOL, FUGGEVOL ORA

S’INNEBRII A VOLUTA

VIOLETTA (E2)

GODIAM, FUGACE E RAPIDO E IL GAUDIO DELL’AMORE

E UN FIOR CHE NASCE E MUORE

NE PIU SI PUO GODER

ALFREDO & VIOLETTA (E2 & E8)

IN QUESTSTO IN QUESTO

PARADISO NE SCOPRA IL NUOVO DI

VIVIAN is delighted by the colorful spectacle. EDWARD is mesmerized watching her enjoy the opera.

#16—You and I

EDWARD

DARLIN’ YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT

I CAN’T REMEMBER EVER SEEING ANYTHING SO RIGHT IN THE MAGIC OF THE MOMENT THERE’S NO PLACE I’D RATHER BE VIVIAN continues to watch the opera as lights focus on EDWARD singing to her.

I SEE THE WONDER OF THE WORLD THROUGH YOUR EYES TO HAVE YOU HERE BESIDE ME MAKES ME REALIZE

EV’RYTHING IS DIFF’RENT—

EV’RYTHING HAS CHANGED INSIDE OF ME

YOU AND I

WE GOT SOMETHING GOIN’ ON YOU AND I

HOW COULD THIS BE WRONG?

Edward, Violetta, Ensemble, Vivian

(EDWARD)

WHO’D BELIEVE THAT WE COULD CATCH THE WIND BEFORE IT’S GONE?

ONLY YOU AND I

VIOLETTA sings a heartbreaking goodbye to ALFREDO.

VIOLETTA (E2)

SARO LA, TRAQUEI FIOR

PRESSO A TE SEMPRE, SEMPRE, SEMPRE

PRESSO A TE

AMAMI, ALFREDO!

AMAMI, QUANT’IO T’AMO

AMAMI, ALFREDO!

QUANT’IO T’AMO, QUANT’IO T’AMO T’AMO ADDIO!

ENSEMBLE

AHH…

AHH… OOO… OOO… OOO…

VIOLETTA holds the last note as the ARIA ENDS.

EDWARD

I LOVE THE WAY YOU FEEL WHEN YOU’RE NEAR IF I COULD BE ANYWHERE I’D WANNA BE RIGHT HERE LET’S NEVER LET IT END I COULD SPEND FOREVER IN YOUR ARMS YOU AND I MUCH TO MY SURPRISE YOU AND I IT WAS RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES I WOULD GIVE ALMOST ANYTHING THE STARS, THE MOON, AND THE SKY ALL FOR YOU AND I

A tall staircase lights up leading to a glittering ballroom floor. ELEGANT DANCERS sweep into a gala ball. EDWARD leads VIVIAN down the steps.

EDWARD

I WASN’T WAITING FOR A MIRACLE

AHH

VIOLETTA

OOO…

AHH…

(E2)

ENSEMBLE

EDWARD

I JUST WANTED SOMEWHERE TO BELONG

IT’S AMAZING WHAT CAN HAPPEN WHEN YOU’RE MAKING OTHER PLANS

ENSEMBLE

OOO…

AHH…

BUT HOW WAS I TO KNOW YOU WERE RIGHT HERE ALL ALONG?

EDWARD and VIVIAN elegantly dance.

AHH…

OOO

AHH

VIOLETTA (E2)

ENSEMBLE

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

Song continues as they return to the bedroom of the penthouse and get ready for bed.

EDWARD unzips the back of VIVIAN’S dress.

EDWARD

DARLING YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT I CAN’T REMEMBER EVER SEEING ANYTHING SO RIGHT

EDWARD & VIVIAN

LIKE A VISION IN THE DARKNESS

A SIGHT FOR LONELY EYES TO SEE

VIVIAN slips into the closet to change into something special. EDWARD finishes undressing.

EDWARD

YOU AND I

I ALWAYS WANNA FEEL THIS WAY YOU AND I ON ANY OTHER DAY

I MIGHT HAVE MISSED THE MOMENT NOW I JUST WANNA STAY TOGETHER, YOU AND I FOREVER, YOU AND I

#16A—After “You And I”

VIVIAN & ENSEMBLE

YOU AND I

YOU AND I ENSEMBLE

OOO… AHH… AHH…

EDWARD slips into bed. He notices DAVID’s proposal and picks it up with a smile.

EDWARD

(Quietly amused) Big ass boats.

VIVIAN returns to find EDWARD propped up against the bed’s headrest, having fallen asleep reading DAVID’S plan.

VIVIAN

He sleeps.

VIVIAN sets the proposal aside and gets into bed. She kisses her finger and presses it to EDWARD’S lips.

Leaning in, VIVIAN then slowly kisses EDWARD on the lips fully for the first time. As she does, a MUSICAL CHORUS rises.

EDWARD comes awake and responds, kissing her back tenderly. They embrace. MUSIC CONTINUES, a mix of “YOU AND I” and opera. Lights fade as they make love.

CENTURY CITY:

STUCKEY and his team of LAWYERS stride through a courtyard.

STUCKEY

Today is the day I get a fifteen million dollar bonus. Today is the day. Alright, Wilkins caved in. Newman is on board. What’s the status on Turner?

JASON (E11)

All set. I promised him a ten percent premium on his shares.

STUCKEY

Jason! I told you! It’s completely illegal to pay a board member extra for his shares! Round it up so it isn’t obvious and call it a consulting fee.

JASON (E11)

Consulting fee. Got it.

STUCKEY

Fred, what about Harper?

FRED (E8)

Sealed the deal with season tickets to the Lakers.

STUCKEY

Now that’s legal! But make sure no one finds out. Bob, any word from Clarke?

BOB (E10)

Won’t budge. Something about loyalty to Morse’s son.

STUCKEY

Loser. Forget him. We’ve already got a majority. All we need now is… Edward!?

STUCKEY spots EDWARD who, barefoot with his pants rolled up, is reading from a small poetry book.

EDWARD

“Haply I think on thee, and then my state, Like to the lark at break of day arising from sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven’s gate… ”

STUCKEY, flabbergasted, waves off his team.

STUCKEY

Keep going! We’ll meet you there!

The others exit and STUCKEY rushes to EDWARD.

Edward?! What are you doing? Reading “Art of War” again?

EDWARD

No, Shakespeare’s sonnets.

STUCKEY

Poetry? Your driver dropped you off twenty minutes ago. I thought you’d be in the boardroom.

EDWARD

Just thinking about stuff.

STUCKEY

Stuff? The board meeting is in five minutes. The Senator killed the grant. Morse is sunk.

EDWARD

You know, the Morse rescue plan would have produced the first American built passenger liner in thirty years.

STUCKEY

Yeah, we used to send men to the moon too. Where are your shoes?

EDWARD

You know what I loved when I was a kid, Phil?

STUCKEY

What?

Blocks. Building blocks, erector sets.

EDWARD

STUCKEY

So, I liked Monopoly. Boardwalk, Park Place… what’s the point?

EDWARD

We don’t build anything, Phil. We don’t make anything.

STUCKEY

We make money, Edward. We worked for a year on this deal. It’s our biggest one yet. Let’s go.

EDWARD

You go on ahead. I’ll be there soon.

STUCKEY

Five minutes! Five minutes!

#16B—Into The Pool

EDWARD

“For thy sweet love remember’d such wealth brings, that then I scorn to change my state with kings.”

EDWARD exits. Set transitions to…

HOTEL POOL CAFE:

A MAN and WOMAN in swimming attire come out of the pool as GIULIO hands them towels. VIVIAN and KIT enter and a WAITRESS offers them menus.

KIT

It was time for me to make a change. So I talked to Tony, the undercover cop. It turns out the LAPD has a special program for promising individuals with “colorful backgrounds.”

VIVIAN

You in the police academy? That would be incredible.

KIT

I’ll have to be honest and responsible. But I’ve been practicing. Enough about me. Look at you in this outfit! I was afraid to hug you. I might wrinkle you. So, your week is almost up? How’s it going?

VIVIAN

Last night Edward took me to the opera. It was lovely. And we danced at the gala but then when we got back I… I…

KIT

Oh, no. Did you kiss him? On the mouth?

VIVIAN

It was nice.

KIT

Did I not teach you anything? Trust no one! Never let your guard down! You fell in love with him, didn’t you?

VIVIAN

No! I’m… I’m not in love with him. I just… I like him. (Beat.) He’s gonna break my heart, right?

KIT

You don’t know that. Does he like you too?

VIVIAN

I think so. But I can’t keep making the same mistake. I got to take control of my own life.

KIT

But maybe he’s not a mistake. Even if he is, he’s rich! Maybe you guys will get a house together and buy some diamonds and a horse. It could work. It happens.

VIVIAN

Kit, when does it happen? Who does it really work out for? Give me one example of someone we know that it happened for.

KIT

Name someone? You want me to name someone? Like give you a name or something?

VIVIAN

Yeah, I’d like a name.

KIT

God, the pressure of a name. (Beat. It comes to her.) Cinda-fuckin’-rella!

VIVIAN shakes her head with a smile.

#17—I Can’t Go Back

VIVIAN YOU MAKE ME HAPPY YOU KNOW JUST WHAT TO SAY BUT I AIN’T CINDERELLA WHO’D WANNA BE ANYWAY OF ALL THE THINGS I WANTED ONE THING I NEVER GOT WAS TO BE TREATED LIKE SOMEBODY JUST TO HAVE ONE SHOT

I CAN’T GO BACK—NO I CAN’T GO BACK

BUT NOW YOU GOT ME THINKING ABOUT WORKING ON A DREAM I’M NOT QUITE THERE YET I’M SOMEWHERE IN BETWEEN

Vivian, Ensemble

(VIVIAN)

I HEAR YOU TALKIN’ HOW I DESERVE THE BEST A VOICE INSIDE MY HEAD KEEPS SAYIN’ DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS

I CAN’T GO BACK—I’VE SEEN A DIFF’RENT WORLD I CAN’T GO BACK—I’M A DIFF’RENT GIRL I CAN’T GO BACK—TO WHO I WAS BEFORE I CAN’T GO BACK—I ALWAYS WANTED MORE

KIT

Look at you. Sure don’t fit in with the Boulevard crowd now, not that you ever did. KIT exits.

VIVIAN

I HAVE REGRETS BUT I CAN’T CHANGE THE PAST I WANT THE REAL THING IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

VIVIAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE IT GETS TO BE MY CHOICE

I FEEL I’VE FOUND MYSELF, YEAH I’VE FOUND MY VOICE

I CAN’T GO BACK I’VE SEEN A DIFF’RENT WORLD I CAN’T GO BACK

I’M A DIFF’RENT GIRL I CAN’T GO BACK TO WHO I WAS BEFORE I CAN’T GO BACK I ALWAYS WANTED MORE I CAN SEE MY FUTURE IN ALL MY PLANS

I’M GONNA BE OK THIS IS WHO I AM

ENSEMBLE OOO

I CAN’T GO BACK

I CAN’T GO BACK OOO OOO

VIVIAN

IT’S TRUE, I SOLD MY BODY BUT I NEVER SOLD MY SOUL I’VE LEARNED I DON’T NEED ANYONE IT’S ME WHO’S IN CONTROL

THEY CAN TAKE AWAY MY INNOCENCE BUT THEY CAN’T ERASE MY PRIDE I’VE SEEN A BETTER LIFE I’VE SEEN THE OTHER SIDE

I CAN’T GO BACK

ENSEMBLE

VIVIAN

I’VE SEEN A DIFF’RENT WORLD—I CAN’T GO BACK

ENSEMBLE

I CAN’T GO BACK

VIVIAN

I’M A DIFF’RENT GIRL—I CAN’T GO BACK

ENSEMBLE

I CAN’T GO BACK

VIVIAN

TO WHO I WAS BEFORE—I CAN’T GO BACK

ENSEMBLE

I CAN’T GO BACK

VIVIAN

I CAN’T GO BACK

NO, I CAN’T GO BACK

ENSEMBLE

I CAN’T GO BACK

MORSE SHIPYARDS BOARDROOM:

STUCKEY and his LAWYERS gather around a conference table in a boardroom with DAVID and his ASSOCIATES.

You have violated every…

DAVID (E12)

STUCKEY

Everything we have done is in a completely legally defensible grey area! Without the Senator’s backing, you have nothing. We won.

DAVID quiets. EDWARD enters.

Sorry, I’m late. Let’s get started.

EDWARD

STUCKEY goes into action, pulling out contracts.

STUCKEY

Edward. Let’s get right to business. The first item on the agenda is…

EDWARD

(interrupting)

I’d like to change the agenda, with Mr. Morse’s approval.

DAVID (E12)

Change it to what?

EDWARD

I’m withdrawing my bid to buyout your company. And I’m going to be voting in favor of your cruise ship proposal. Therefore…

STUCKEY

Wait?! What are you talking about?

Is this some kind of trick?

DAVID (E12)

EDWARD

Gentlemen, ladies. Would you all please leave the room? I want to speak with Mr. Morse alone.

DAVID waves to his ASSOCIATES and they leave. EDWARD nods to his own team and they unhappily exit.

You too, Phil.

(EDWARD)

STUCKEY

Edward, don’t do this. Whatever it is you’re doing: don’t.

EDWARD looks at STUCKEY firmly. STUCKEY reluctantly exits. DAVID and EDWARD are alone.

Alright. Explain yourself.

DAVID (E12)

EDWARD

My interests in your father’s company have changed.

DAVID (E12)

What is it you’re after now?

EDWARD

I no longer wish to buy it and take it apart. But I don’t want anyone else to either. And it is still vulnerable. So I find myself in unfamiliar territory. I want to help you.

DAVID (E12)

By killing our government grant?

EDWARD

A hundred million dollar grant wouldn’t be enough to retool. I’ll get you five hundred million. I’ll personally guarantee the bank loans.

DAVID is stunned.

DAVID (E12)

What’s responsible for this sudden change of heart?

EDWARD

Building cruise ships sounds like a helluva lotta fun.

MUSIC in. DAVID has trouble believing him. EDWARD returns to a serious business tone.

#18—Freedom (Reprise)

(EDWARD)

I’ll have a new contract drawn up so you are protected…

DAVID (E12)

All I need right now is a handshake. Partners?

EDWARD Partners. They shake hands.

FREEDOM, FREEDOM

I KNOW THINGS CAN’T STAY THE SAME I BELIEVE IT’S TIME TO… Set transitions to:

PENTHOUSE SUITE:

VIVIAN is packing her bags. The elevator DINGS. STUCKEY comes in, looking angry, but forces a smile.

Well, well. Hello again. Vivian, right?

Edward’s not here.

STUCKEY

VIVIAN

STUCKEY

No. He’s not. He’s off making a deal to save Morse Shipping. Keep workers working, build great ships, flush money down the toilet. Mind if I have a drink?

He doesn’t wait for an answer. He picks up a decanter and pours liquor in a glass. He fires it down and loosens his tie.

Can I help you with something?

VIVIAN

STUCKEY

I’ve just lost a fifteen million dollar bonus. Not to mention I look like a fool. I think I deserve another drink. You want one?

VIVIAN

No.

He nods and pours another. VIVIAN watches tensely. STUCKEY seems ready to explode.

Edward will be back soon. Any minute he’ll be home.

STUCKEY

You know, this is not home. This is a hotel room. And you are not the little woman. You’re a hooker.

STUCKEY circles around VIVIAN menacingly. She keeps moving to stay way from him.

And you must be some kind of amazing hooker to turn Edward inside out. Enough small talk. I’m curious. What’s your going rate? How much to do me right now?

STUCKEY grabs at VIVIAN and she slaps his hand away.

(STUCKEY)

Oh, a week in a fancy hotel and now suddenly you’re something special? Too good for ordinary tricks? Maybe you need to be taken back to the street!

STUCKEY rushes at VIVIAN and she beats him up.

VIVIAN

You want street? I’ll give you street!

STUCKEY hits the floor, stunned.

You dirty, filthy…

STUCKEY

He lunges up at her and she kicks him back down.

I say who, I say when, I say how much!

VIVIAN

STUCKEY, whimpering in pain, starts to crawl off.

Now, this is ironic.

EDWARD enters.

Edward!

STUCKY

EDWARD

Stuckey, what the hell are you doing here? What happened!?

STUCKEY

I didn’t touch her! She attacked me! She hit me in the face! When I wasn’t looking…

EDWARD

Get out.

STUCKEY angrily pulls himself to his feet.

STUCKEY

Edward are you crazy? We just lost a billion dollar deal on a…

EDWARD

Phil, get out. You’re fired.

EDWARD says it with such firm intensity, STUCKEY heads out. He then turns and desperately pleads.

STUCKEY

Edward, please, I’ve devoted my whole life to you… years and years of…

EDWARD

Shut up! You didn’t devote your life to me. You devoted it to money. Get out before I throw you out.

STUCKEY exits, broken. EDWARD turns to VIVIAN.

Did he hurt you?

No. I’m used to handling guys like that.

VIVIAN

EDWARD

You’re shaking.

VIVIAN

I’m fine!

VIVIAN goes back to packing.

Then why are you packing your bags?

EDWARD

VIVIAN

It’s our last day, remember? We made a deal. Six days and then you let me go.

EDWARD nods. He opens his wallet and gives her the three thousand. She puts it in her pocket. EDWARD then picks up the gift box and hands it to her. VIVIAN looks at it.

What’s this? Going away gift?

EDWARD

Not exactly. So here’s the new deal. Keys to your very own new Lotus Esprit. Keys to your new apartment and I’ve arranged charge accounts at a wide variety of stores guaranteed to suck up to you whenever you go shopping. Everything’s done.

VIVIAN

What else? You gonna drop some cash by the bed when you pass through town?

It really wouldn’t be like that.

EDWARD

VIVIAN

How would it be?

EDWAR

For one thing, it’d get you off the streets.

VIVIAN

That’s just geography.

VIVIAN walks over to the piano with the box.

EDWARD

Vivian, this would be a big step for me. I thought you’d be happy. What is it you want?

#18A—Vivian’s Fairytale

VIVIAN

When I was a little girl, I had a little girl’s dream. My mom used to lock me in the attic when I was bad, which was pretty often. And I would dream I was a princess trapped in a tower by a wicked queen. Then, one day, this knight on a white horse, with his colors flying, would come charging up and draw his sword, and I would wave. He’d climb up the tower and rescue me. But never in all the time I had that dream did the knight say to me, “Come on, baby. I’ll put you up in a great condo.”

VIVIAN returns to the room.

I know it’s a really good offer for a girl like me. And a week ago I would have said yes. But not now. I want the fairytale.

VIVIAN hands EDWARD back the box. She takes her bags and heads to the door.

I think you have a lot of special gifts.

EDWARD

Don’t go…

VIVIAN

I have to.

VIVIAN exits as lights slowly dim on EDWARD.

HOTEL LOBBY:

#18B—Mr. Thompson’s Goodbye

Lights rise on MR. THOMPSON. VIVIAN approaches with her bags. He gives her a warm smile.

Miss Vivian.

MR. THOMPSON

Hi, Barney. I wanted to say goodbye.

VIVIAN

MR. THOMPSON

Then I take it you’re not accompanying Mr. Lewis to New York?

VIVIAN

No. But thank you for being so nice to me.

MR. THOMPSON

It’s been my pleasure. Have you arranged for transportation?

VIVIAN

I’m going to call a cab.

Allow me. Giulio!

Yes, sir!

GIULIO rushes in.

MR. THOMPSON

GIULIO (E14)

MR. THOMPSON

Have the hotel limo take Miss Vivian anywhere she wishes to go.

GIULIO (E14)

Yes, sir!

He takes VIVIAN’S bags and exits.

MR. THOMPSON

And please, Miss Vivian, come and visit us again sometime.

VIVIAN smiles and holds out her hand to shake his. Instead, MR. THOMPSON kisses her hand. As she leaves, lights fade, leaving her alone in a soft spotlight on a darkened stage. She sings.

#19—Long Way Home Vivian, Edward, Ensemble

VIVIAN

ONCE I DARED TO DREAM AND THEN THE DREAM CAME TRUE AND WHEN IT DID I WASN’T SURE WHAT TO DO

PENTHOUSE BALCONY:

EDWARD, joining in a duet, slowly goes all the way out on the balcony, facing his fears.

EDWARD

WHEN YOU FIND SOMEONE OR WHEN SOMEONE FINDS YOU IT’S THEN YOU’LL SEE, IT’S ALWAYS LOVE THAT SHINES THROUGH

VIVIAN

‘CAUSE I BELIEVED IN YOU, AND YOU BELIEVED IN ME

VIVIAN & EDWARD

AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME

EDWARD

STILL I REMEMBER WELL, THE WAY IT USED TO BE

VIVIAN & EDWARD

AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME

VIVIAN

AND I’M ALONE

VIVIAN exits the hotel.

HOTEL LOBBY:

EDWARD appears and approaches MR. THOMPSON in the lobby.

Mr. Lewis.

Are there any messages for me?

MR. THOMPSON

EDWARD

MR. THOMPSON

No, I’m afraid not, sir.

EDWARD nods, disappointed.

I’ll need a car to the airport.

Of course. Giulio.

Yes, sir!

EDWARD

MR. THOMPSON

GIULIO (E14)

MR. THOMPSON

Take Mr. Lewis’ luggage to the limousine, please.

GIULIO (E14)

Yes, sir!

EDWARD

Could you return this to Fred’s for me please. He hands MR. THOMPSON the jewelry case.

MR. THOMPSON

May I?

EDWARD

Of course.

MR. THOMPSON opens it, revealing the ruby and diamond necklace.

MR. THOMPSON

Must be difficult to let go of something so beautiful. (Beat.) You know, our driver also took Miss Vivian home. I’m sure he can take you where you need to go, too.

He looks at EDWARD pointedly. (referring to the necklace) I’ll take care of this. Oh. You might need an umbrella.

EDWARD

Thank you, Mr. Thompson.

He hands EDWARD an umbrella. EDWARD nods and heads out. WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES WHEN THE JOURNEY ENDS

THERE’S A WARM EMBRACE THE FAMILIAR FACE OF A FRIEND

VIVIAN, back in Hollywood, picks up the duet.

EDWARD

‘CAUSE I BELIEVED IN YOU AND YOU BELIEVED IN ME

AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME

I REMEMBER WELL THE WAY IT USE TO BE

LONG WAY HOME AND I’M ALONE

VIVIAN

I BELIEVED IN YOU AND YOU BELIEVED IN ME

LONG WAY HOME AND I REMEMBER WELL

THE WAY IT USED TO BE AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME

They continue to sing the song together, while apart.

VIVIAN & EDWARD

THERE’S SO MUCH I MISS OH HOW I WISH—OUR LIFE COULD BE EXTRAORDINARY, EXTRAORDINARY, EXTRAORDINARY, EXTRAORDINARY, EXTRAORDINARY, EXTRAORDINARY, AGAIN

VIVIAN & EDWARD

‘CAUSE I BELIEVED IN YOU

AND YOU BELIEVED IN ME

AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME

AND I REMEMBER WELL

THE WAY IT USED TO BE AND IT’S A LONG WAY HOME AND I’M ALONE

VIVIAN exits, leaving EDWARD alone.

ENSEMBLE

I BELIEVED IN YOU AND YOU BELIEVED IN ME

LONG WAY HOME

I REMEMBER WELL

THE WAY IT USED TO BE

LONG WAY HOME

EDWARD

ONCE I DARED TO DREAM SONG ENDS. Blackout.

#20—Together Forever

Violetta, Edward, Vivian, Ensemble, Happy Man, Kit

VIVIAN and KIT stand on the second level of the fire escape looking over the city.

KIT

San Francisco’s not that great, you know. It’s bad climate, it’s foggy, it’s unpredictable.

VIVIAN

I’ll wear a sweater.

When is your bus?

KIT

VIVIAN

An hour.

KIT starts up the ladder. VIVIAN follows.

KIT

What are you gonna do in San Francisco?

VIVIAN

Get a job. Finish high school. I used to make pretty good grades.

KIT

Yeah, I can see that about you. Well, I gotta split, ‘cause goodbyes make me crazy, so…

VIVIAN

I’m glad you’re going to try something new too. You got potential, Kit DeLuca.

KIT

Yeah, we’ll see. I’d be good in the Vice Department! She starts for the window. VIVIAN stops her.

VIVIAN

Kit, no matter what happens, no matter where I go, you and I will always be friends. I got your number. I promise I’ll call. Take care of you.

KIT

Take care of you.

They hug. KIT quickly exits.

VIVIAN looks out onto the street.

OPERA MUSIC RISES.

VIOLETTA (E2)

AMAMI, ALFREDO!

AMAMI,

QUANT’IO T’AMO

HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD:

EDWARD appears waving the umbrella like a sword in one hand and holding a bouquet of flowers in the other.

EDWARD

Vivian! Princess Vivian!

VIVIAN waves down at him. Had to be the top floor, right?

VIVIAN

It’s the best.

VIOLETTA (E2)

AMAMI, ALFREDO

QUANT’IO

T’AMO

QUANT’IO

T’AMO

ADDIO!

People on the street see what is happening and gather around. MUSIC shifts.

EDWARD

I WAS LOST LIKE A SHIP AT SEA NO HOPE, NO FAITH, NO PLAN YOU FILL MY CUP AND YOU LIFT ME UP SO I CAN BE A BETTER MAN THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU I KNEW RIGHT FROM THE START

I’m coming up!

Alternately terrified of the height, and determined to succeed, EDWARD starts to climb the ladder.

VIVIAN, EDWARD, & ENSEMBLE

TOGETHER FOREVER, YOU AND ME WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT SOMEHOW TOGETHER FOREVER, WE’RE FINALLY FREE AND ALL OUR TOMORROWS START NOW

EDWARD

So what happened after he climbed up the tower and rescued her?

VIVIAN

She rescues him right back. He smiles and kisses her. They embrace. The crowd below cheers and joins in an energetic finale.

AHH…

ENSEMBLE

HAPPY MAN

THINGS WERE MOVING AT THE SPEED OF LOVE AND THEY FOLLOWED IT TO THE LETTER

KIT

THERE AIN’T NOTHING THAT A MAN CAN DO THAT A WOMAN CAN’T DO BETTER

KIT & HAPPY MAN I HAD A FEELING INSIDE OF ME

I’M GLAD I LISTENED TO MY HEART

YEAH

VIVIAN, EDWARD, KIT, & HAPPY MAN TOGETHER FOREVER YOU AND ME

WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT SOMEHOW TOGETHER FOREVER FINALLY FREE AND ALL OUR TOMORROWS START NOW

OH, YEAH!

EDWARD and VIVIAN appear on the street.

(VIVIAN, EDWARD, KIT, & HAPPY MAN) TOGETHER FOREVER YOU AND ME

AHH INSIDE OF ME

ENSEMBLE

LISTENED TO MY HEART TOGETHER FOREVER YOU AND ME

WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT TOGETHER FOREVER FIN’LLY FREE

TOMORROWS START NOW

OH, YEAH!

WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT SOMEHOW (ENSEMBLE) TOGETHER FOREVER YOU AND ME

WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT

OPERA WOMAN (W2)

AHH…

VIVIAN, EDWARD, KIT, & HAPPY MAN

TOGETHER FOREVER

FINALLY FREE AND ALL OUR TOMORROWS START NOW

(ENSEMBLE)

TOGETHER FOREVER

FINALLY FREE TOMORROWS START NOW

HAPPY MAN

What’s your dream? Everyone needs a dream. Some come true, some don’t. But you’ll get lost without one. Keep on dreaming!

VIVIAN & EDWARD

TOGETHER FOREVER

WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

HAPPY MAN & ENSEMBLE YOUR TIME’S ARRIVED YOU KNOW IT THIS TOWN’S ALIVE YOU OWN IT TOGETHER FOREVER WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD

SIX STRING rocks into the “Oh, Pretty Woman” riff and the entire cast join in a big bonus number.

KIT

PRETTY WOMAN, WALKING DOWN THE STREET

PRETTY WOMAN, THE KIND I LIKE TO MEET

PRETTY WOMAN

I DON’T BELIEVE YOU, YOU’RE NOT THE TRUTH NO ONE COULD LOOK AS GOOD AS YOU

ENSEMBLE

AHH… AHH… AHH… AHH…

KIT & HAPPY MAN

PRETTY WOMAN, WON’T YOU PARDON ME?

PRETTY WOMAN, I COULDN’T HELP BUT SEE PRETTY WOMAN

THAT YOU LOOK LOVELY AS CAN BE ARE YOU LONELY JUST LIKE ME?

AHH… AHH… AHH… AHH…

ENSEMBLE

OOO… OOO… OOO…

LOVELY, AHH… LONELY JUST LIKE ME?

ENSEMBLE

GIULIO appears with lyrics on a sandwich board to help the audience sing along.

EVERYONE

PRETTY WOMAN, STOP A WHILE

PRETTY WOMAN, TALK A WHILE

PRETTY WOMAN, GIVE YOUR SMILE TO ME

PRETTY WOMAN, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH

PRETTY WOMAN, LOOK MY WAY

PRETTY WOMAN, SAY YOU’LL STAY WITH ME

#21—Bows Kit, Happy Man, Ensemble, Edward, Vivian

EDWARD

‘CAUSE I NEED YOU I’LL TREAT YOU RIGHT

VIVIAN & EDWARD COME WITH ME BABY BE MINE TONIGHT

ENSEMBLE

HAH, HAH

HAH, HAH, HAH, HA-AHH…

HAH, HAH

HAH, HAH BE MINE TONIGHT!

EVERYONE

YOUR TIME’S ARRIVED—YOU KNOW IT THIS TOWN’S ALIVE—YOU OWN IT TOGETHER FOREVER! WELCOME TO HOLLYWOOD!